Order of Man - Max Out Your Life

00:00:00.000 10 years ago, I found myself listening to CDs from my guest today while driving between

00:00:04.520 financial advisory appointments. He had no idea how influential he would be in my life as I

00:00:09.940 frustratingly attempt to build my first business. But 10 years later, I had the privilege of having

00:00:15.180 an incredibly powerful conversation with one of the most important people in my professional

00:00:19.560 and business life, Mr. Ed Milet. Today, we talk about how to overcome your greatest fears,

00:00:25.340 the power of faith in your aspirations, how to unleash your greatest gifts and skills,

00:00:31.000 and how to fully max out your life. You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest. Embrace

00:00:36.460 your fears and boldly chart your own path. When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time,

00:00:42.440 every time. You are not easily deterred or defeated, rugged, resilient, strong. This is your life.

00:00:49.400 This is who you are. This is who you will become at the end of the day. And after all is said and

00:00:55.180 done, you can call yourself a man. Gentlemen, what is going on today? My name is Ryan Mickler,

00:01:00.840 and I am the host and the founder of this podcast, The Order of Man. Whether you're new to the show

00:01:05.820 today or you've been listening for any amount of time, I want to welcome you to this podcast. It's

00:01:10.460 my goal to bring you the tools and the resources and everything that you might need, including the

00:01:15.840 conversations to help you become a better man, a better father, husband, business owner,

00:01:20.360 community leader, coach, whatever facet of life you're showing up. I want to help you

00:01:24.560 be more efficient, be more effective, and ultimately become that better man.

00:01:29.000 Guys, this has been a crazy couple of weeks. I just got back from a hunt about a week and a half

00:01:33.580 ago. I was in Minnesota, first time out there, and we had a successful hunt as a party. Unfortunately,

00:01:40.120 I didn't fill my tag, which was a shame, but one of my buddies did with a very nice white tail.

00:01:44.900 I've been doing that, and now I'm just getting back into the swing of things and getting back

00:01:49.700 into my routine and getting back on top of these podcasts and everything else. One of the things

00:01:53.800 I was thinking about is routines. As I was on my trip, I realized how inefficient life is when

00:02:01.320 you're not on a routine, and that's one of the ways in which I work best. My routine with my family

00:02:06.860 and my reading and this podcast and the food I eat and the activities I engage in. One of the

00:02:12.880 most important parts of my routine, which I didn't think I'd be saying this when I started,

00:02:17.780 is my supplements. I definitely noticed a huge, huge difference with my training regimen and just

00:02:24.200 my day in general because I didn't have my supplements. I take Joint Warfare, I do Jocko

00:02:31.040 Super Krill, I do the Protein Supplement, Mulk. Those are the three that I take mostly, and I didn't know

00:02:37.460 how big of a difference that they were making until I didn't have them over the past, like I said,

00:02:41.940 week, week and a half, and now that I'm taking those things again, I feel like I'm back on top

00:02:46.220 of it. It's amazing because I really didn't think they'd make a big difference, but they have.

00:02:50.120 So guys, if you're not using any sort of supplements, I would encourage you to check

00:02:54.000 it out. At least give it a try because I think you will be pleasantly surprised on the joints and the

00:03:00.020 bones and the muscles, especially as I get older and you get older and we all get older. So I would

00:03:04.560 recommend Origin. That's what I use, Origin Maine. They do Jocko's supplemental lineup,

00:03:09.640 Super Krill, Joint Warfare, the Mulk. They have training gear, they have rash guards,

00:03:15.540 they have lifestyle apparel. These are friends of mine out of Maine, just doing an incredibly

00:03:19.980 wonderful job when it comes to enhancing and supplementing what it is you might already be

00:03:25.420 doing by way of nutrition. So if you're interested in checking it out, head to originmaine.com,

00:03:30.760 originmaine.com. And when you do, make sure that you use the code ORDER. You got to use that code ORDER

00:03:35.680 because I want you to get a discount and you're not going to get a discount unless you use the code

00:03:39.160 ORDER. O-R-D-E-R at checkout, originmaine.com, discount code ORDER. All right. So now that I'm

00:03:45.740 back into things and you will be getting on top of things, let's get into this conversation today.

00:03:50.500 Guys, I can't even begin to describe how excited I am to finally be releasing this interview. We did

00:03:55.760 this about three weeks or four weeks ago and I've been sitting on it for the last month and I've been

00:04:01.060 so excited to release it. Of course, all of my conversations have been powerful, but this

00:04:06.100 conversation today with Ed Milet is one of my personal favorites because Ed's had such a huge

00:04:12.360 impact on my professional life. I started listening to him 10 years ago. I mentioned this earlier,

00:04:16.440 actually, when I got back from Iraq and into the financial services industry. And back then I had

00:04:22.100 no idea, no idea that I'd have the opportunity to talk with him on my podcast, Crazy World. Most of you

00:04:28.240 know exactly who Ed is. So I will spare you the long introductions today, but let's just say that

00:04:34.140 for now, Ed is an incredible entrepreneur. He's a powerful, powerful coach and mentor to some of the

00:04:39.880 most successful people on the planet. And then he's also the host and the founder of the Ed Milet

00:04:44.620 podcast, which is a top ranked podcast. Today, guys, you're going to hear exactly why I look up to this

00:04:50.260 man and why he's achieved the tremendous amount of success that he has. Ed, what's going on,

00:04:57.560 man? Thanks for joining me on the show today. Fired up to be here, brother. Thank you for having

00:05:01.460 me. Can't tell you what an honor it is. It's actually kind of surreal. I started listening

00:05:05.160 to you and following your words about 12 years ago when I started in the financial planning

00:05:10.040 industry. So it's crazy to be talking now. That is crazy. You'd said that to me before we started.

00:05:15.320 So hopefully you've seen an evolution and that I've matured a little bit since. A little bit,

00:05:20.060 but I got to tell you, man, you spent a lot of time with me in the truck and some really

00:05:23.860 frustrating times as I was trying to launch that business. Well, that makes me feel great. It's

00:05:28.060 the reason I do this. So I love hearing those stories and 12 years is one of the longer ones.

00:05:32.600 So thank you. Yeah, you bet. You bet. And now you've kind of made, I don't want to say resurgence

00:05:36.800 necessarily, but you've definitely become more visible over the past, what, two or three years,

00:05:42.080 would you say? There was a point where about, I guess, a year ago, May, so let's call it 18 months

00:05:48.280 ago. I had a conversation with Tony Robbins, who's been a friend for 20 years and a neighbor of mine,

00:05:54.920 so to speak, up in Coeur d'Alene, Idaho. We just had a conversation. He just challenged me.

00:05:59.080 It's sort of grown. It's exploded far beyond my expectations. I didn't even know how to make a

00:06:04.460 video or how to do a podcast 18 months ago. I didn't even have any equipment or anything like

00:06:08.280 that. So it's been an explosive 18 months and life-changing 18 months. And I have to thank Tony

00:06:14.060 for challenging me to get out of my comfort zone and get out and be more public. So that's how it

00:06:18.520 happened. Yeah. I mean, it really is incredible. I know, and I told you this before we started

00:06:22.700 recording that so many people have reached out to me and said, get Ed on the show, get Ed on the show.

00:06:27.660 I just want to hear what he has to say. And one of the things that I personally admire about you

00:06:32.280 is your fire and your passion. There's a lot of people out there who I consider inspirational and

00:06:38.980 motivational, but there's very few people that bring the fire like you do. Is that just your

00:06:43.640 personality? Is that, what is it that drives you the way that you're so driven?

00:06:48.200 Well, thank you for that. I am a pretty intense person. If people that know me well would tell

00:06:53.140 you that I'm pretty introverted. I just had a discussion with Grant Cardone about that. He

00:06:57.300 doesn't believe in those labels, but I am introverted. I'm shy. I'm to myself often. It's an effort for me

00:07:03.320 sometimes to be public, but I'm a really intense guy. I think a lot of that comes from my upbringing,

00:07:08.700 from an athletic background. If you get me on a topic, I think most men are this way.

00:07:13.640 If you get me talking about something, at least I've convinced myself of this over

00:07:17.200 25 years in business. If you get me talking about something I truly believe in, I'm truly

00:07:22.700 passionate about, I think it's very difficult to transfer to somebody that which you really

00:07:27.660 aren't experiencing, right? So I'm experiencing that intensity. I'm experiencing that passion.

00:07:33.480 And so I think the capacity to give it to somebody, transfer it to them, isn't really all that

00:07:37.800 difficult for me as long as it's something I'm passionate about. And I'm 47 years old now.

00:07:42.100 I've had a very blessed life. There's a part of me now, I really choose my words carefully. So when

00:07:47.280 I'm really talking about something, it's usually my kids, my faith, my Lord gave me some giftedness.

00:07:53.620 And one of those gifts is to communicate how I feel verbally. Always sort of had a pretty good

00:07:59.140 ability to articulate how I'm feeling and I'm thinking with words, which is not true for everybody.

00:08:04.780 And so I'm hoping that that at least still comes across when I speak.

00:08:09.280 And it seems to be for me, you talk about this level of introversion. And I think I would probably

00:08:14.360 lean more towards Grant when he talks about not necessarily labeling that way, because I think

00:08:19.660 when we do label it that way, we give ourselves an excuse to be introverted rather than forcefully

00:08:25.520 trying to come out of our shell and put ourselves in situations, which obviously you've done that.

00:08:30.600 How have you overcome that?

00:08:32.680 Well, I think you're right. And I think he's right. I tell him this. I certainly, when I was a little

00:08:36.480 boy in my family, they didn't mean it in a bad way, but I was always the introverted as here's

00:08:41.280 little Eddie. He's shy. I was little Eddie because my dad's name is also Ed. So is my grandfather's.

00:08:46.940 They didn't realize I was also little. I was also a small guy. And so constantly labeling me as

00:08:52.640 little Eddie and shy certainly helps sculpt that in me. The way I've overcome it is effort,

00:08:58.880 candidly. I mean, it's work for me. Even to this day, my wife and I travel. People think this is

00:09:04.840 crazy. I speak between, you know, an audience is a 40, 50,000 people. Sometimes I've spoken in front

00:09:09.820 of millions and literally multiple millions of people in my life. And I do every week on my show

00:09:14.960 too. But if we're on the road, you know, frankly, brother, if I, we could have room service, I'd prefer

00:09:19.500 to do that. And it drives her crazy. I'm like, let's just stay in and eat. I love being, you know,

00:09:23.740 with her, but same time, just being in crowds sometimes is an effort for me, which is just crazy.

00:09:28.000 But the way I overcome it is I've convinced myself that some of our greatest fears on the

00:09:33.440 other side of that, and I don't mean this hokey, I mean it truthfully, on the other side of some of

00:09:37.960 our greatest fears are the biggest difference we could make. That wall is there as kind of the

00:09:42.760 adversary saying, I'm going to block you from your great gift. I'm going to block you from your great

00:09:46.660 influence, the great difference you can make, the great contribution. I kind of get fired up when I'm

00:09:51.080 fearful of something because I do have this belief on the other side of that is like this massive gift

00:09:55.580 that I either give or I receive. And I've convinced myself that that introversion, that upbringing of

00:10:01.160 mine was sort of an, the adversary, if you believe in that, the adversary sort of blocking me because,

00:10:06.540 hey man, if you could overcome this, boy, will you influence people. And so I've just sold myself on

00:10:11.200 the other side of all of this adversity is the biggest difference I can make. And I've proven that

00:10:15.540 that's true in my life. And so that's what I focused on is what's on the other side of it.

00:10:19.360 How do you recognize which walls to overcome? Because there's so many obstacles and barriers

00:10:24.460 and hurdles that we need to overcome. And certain, certain ones I imagine are worth fighting for and

00:10:30.640 climbing over and others maybe just aren't. I don't know. How do you identify what's worth fighting

00:10:35.720 for if you don't know what's on the other side? Great question. You're good at this. For me,

00:10:39.900 if it involves a selfish need of mine, I probably don't need to overcome it.

00:10:43.680 Hmm. And if, but if it involves making a difference for another human being, it's worth

00:10:47.940 it. And so I always ask myself, does this serve other people or does it serve me? Even when I

00:10:52.500 speak, I, my speaking styles change. I think when I was younger and I was on a stage, I think it was

00:10:57.280 important for me to make sure the crowd liked me or wow, they were, wow, this guy's incredible.

00:11:03.620 And that, you know, fills you up short term, but that kind of gets old. And I don't mean to be

00:11:08.540 overly religious or preachy with you, but now before I go on stage, I pray, I ask the Holy

00:11:12.540 Spirit to kind of guide me. And I don't mean to put my faith on anybody, but I'm just being,

00:11:16.380 if you're asking me a question, I'll, I'll answer it honestly. And so I usually pray before a meeting.

00:11:20.460 I pray before this podcast, literally when you said, Hey, give me a minute. I'm going to get the

00:11:24.300 equipment hooked up. Right. I said a quick prayer, just that what I would say would serve people,

00:11:27.920 would make a difference, would, would reach people. And so it's always worth it to go through

00:11:32.220 the barrier if it can impact another person. And it's rarely worth it. If the only difference it

00:11:37.740 makes is for me. You know, one of the things that we don't talk a whole lot about is faith

00:11:42.040 in spirituality, but I know that's something that is very important to you. And I'm really

00:11:47.240 curious to hear how your faith plays into what you do and what you feel like you gain from saying

00:11:53.940 prayers and, and communicating with a higher power. I'm pretty big on never putting that in

00:11:59.320 people's faces either, because I I'm a big believer that however, God, the universe reveals itself to

00:12:04.840 you as a personal decision. I don't look a scant at someone who believes differently than I do,

00:12:10.660 nor do I look even a scant at somebody who doesn't have any of those beliefs, but they believe in

00:12:13.880 themselves. That's your choice. I just have come to many points in my life, brother, where my

00:12:19.240 preparation was not enough, where all of the work I put in was not enough. And I needed to find

00:12:24.720 strength in something beyond just my preparation, just my knowledge. People ask me, well, how, how,

00:12:31.340 you know, you live oceanfront, you got a jet, you got, you know, you have all these houses and

00:12:36.080 whatever. And how did all that happen? And I would love, I know the steps I took, I worked

00:12:40.760 my ass off, right? I busted my tail. I worked on myself, I worked on my identity, my ability to

00:12:44.940 communicate. I made the calls, I made the effort, I manned up many times in my life. But if I were

00:12:50.780 being honest, I would say that there were also times where just great things happened, man. If I

00:12:56.920 were such an egomaniac that I thought it was all me, I think I'd be a pretty empty man. And I can just

00:13:02.900 tell you that there's been times for me where I feel like there's this great parable in the Bible

00:13:06.620 called the parable of the sower. And basically it talks about you have to plant seeds and you're

00:13:11.020 going to plant all these seeds and that sometimes the rain's going to take it. Sometimes the birds

00:13:14.700 are going to get it, the weather, the wind, but that if you plant the seeds long enough,

00:13:19.020 there's a harvest. My faith is very simple, is that if I believe if I do the work, if I make the

00:13:25.000 phone calls, I see the people, I put in the effort, I lift the weights, I eat correctly,

00:13:28.620 whatever it is, fitness, body, you name it. I spend the time with my children, right?

00:13:32.900 That there's a harvest eventually. I can't control when that harvest happens,

00:13:36.300 but I also can't have such a giant ego thinking that I'm responsible completely for that harvest.

00:13:41.720 And so my faith gives me comfort, man. It gives me confidence that I know God's got my back and

00:13:48.240 that I'm a good man. I've got good intention. I just, even if you don't believe in God,

00:13:52.440 you believe in the universe, I think we would all agree that good intention begets good results.

00:13:57.880 And I just believe that firmly. I'm a good person, man. I remind myself that I want good things

00:14:02.400 happen for other people. And so because I think someone has good intent, I think eventually after

00:14:07.400 effort is made that they should be receiving a favorable result. And I remind myself of that

00:14:12.260 all the time. I'm glad that you addressed that. I think that's really powerful. And again,

00:14:15.700 it's something that we just don't really address that often. And I'm glad that you talk about

00:14:19.360 intention and I would take it a step further. And I'd like you to articulate this as well, because

00:14:23.720 it isn't just about your intention, because obviously there's so much effort and work and the

00:14:28.320 tactics and the activities that you're doing behind the scenes. I watched a video of you

00:14:32.800 this morning, in fact, and you were walking down the hallway of one of your beautiful homes. And

00:14:37.520 you were talking about how this wasn't your first goal. Your first goal was to pay off your credit

00:14:42.460 card debt, then to save 50 grand, then to buy this house or to have this thing. And you've really put

00:14:47.100 a lot of effort and work. And I think so many people think that good things are just going to happen

00:14:51.740 just because you want them. And that is very rarely the case.

00:14:55.100 That's never the case. By the way, you don't get what you wish for hope for or even what you dream

00:14:59.780 about. You get what you'll fight for and what you'll work for. I think people that are close to

00:15:03.640 me would say that I have a voracious appetite for work. I learned that from my father. I learned,

00:15:09.160 you know, some things from my dad I wouldn't do in my life. He's my best friend to this day. My dad

00:15:12.780 was an alcoholic when I was young. He's been sober now for 30 years. But one thing I learned from my old

00:15:17.460 man was work. My dad was gone before I got up in the morning and he didn't come home till it was late at

00:15:21.980 night, you know. And here's a big philosophy of mine. Because I kind of came from a place where

00:15:26.020 my self-esteem wasn't very high, I think you can't get out of life what you don't think you deserve,

00:15:31.200 especially if you're an honest person. Like if there was a pizza you and I were sharing,

00:15:35.260 people of their integrity are kind of like, well, you get your piece first. I only take what I should,

00:15:38.920 you know. And that's true in life. We only take from the table of life what we think we're worth

00:15:42.900 and what we deserve. And so for me, there's a linkage between massive, crazy action and work

00:15:48.660 and what I'm worthy of. Like I really do believe if I'm willing to do all this crap no one else is

00:15:53.740 willing to do, I should be getting results and benefits nobody else is going to get.

00:15:58.120 And so I link them together. Like if we're being real, man to man, I get off in a weird way on doing

00:16:04.260 crap I know nobody else is willing to do. Like I finished my last preparation last night at 1.15 a.m.,

00:16:11.020 just to give you an idea, right? I'm 47 years old. I live ocean floor. I'm watching the waves as I'm

00:16:15.500 talking to you. I've got a lot of money in the bank. I got a great family. I own every property,

00:16:20.100 my jets, my cars, my boats, everything debt-free. I have no debt, not a dollar. I have an American

00:16:24.200 Express card, right? That's it. And I still am a psycho. And so I finished at 1.15. My first call

00:16:31.160 this morning was going to be at 6 a.m. I got up at 4 and my ass was in the gym. I went in there and I

00:16:36.480 busted my tail in that gym. And as I was driving, I'm like, I'm doing crap nobody at my level was

00:16:41.720 willing to do. No one at my level would do it. No one at any level is willing to do this.

00:16:46.380 And it fires me up. Not only do I do the work, I reinforce to myself what a stud I am for doing it.

00:16:52.220 And my only path to those things has been my insane obsession with work and then my prayer that there's

00:16:59.440 a harvest because I did it. And so believe me, I'm not one of these mamsy, just pray it, just meditate

00:17:04.200 it, just manifest it. Those things are ridiculous to me, all right? I'm a dude. Just because I love the

00:17:10.160 Lord because I'm a praying man does not mean I'm not a man. In fact, it makes me a man that I can

00:17:15.180 surrender myself to a higher power. But I know who's in charge of planting the seeds. Believe me,

00:17:20.760 I have a lot of self-confidence that I can do that because I have a track record with myself

00:17:26.800 of keeping the promises I make to myself over and over and over again. And that's what the

00:17:31.560 foundation of self-confidence is. Men listening to this will say, I just need more self-confidence.

00:17:36.180 Well, I find confidence in my faith, but let me tell you where I find confidence.

00:17:38.980 I've kept promises that I make to myself, man. If I'm going to eat a certain way, I tell

00:17:43.200 myself I do it. If I'm going to make a certain amount of phone calls, certain amount of meetings,

00:17:46.360 certain time I get up, certain amount of weights I'm going to lift, certain routine, the more

00:17:50.660 I've kept those promises to myself, the more I've built a trust relationship with myself.

00:17:55.040 Self-confidence is self-trust. I have a really good reputation with myself. And that allows

00:18:01.040 me to not be obsessed with my reputation with others. When you watch people whose dreams are

00:18:06.620 stolen, their ambitions are stolen because of haters or people who don't believe them or

00:18:10.920 people who tell them they can't make it. These are people who don't have a great reputation with

00:18:14.580 themselves or constantly worried about what everybody else thinks. I don't worry about

00:18:17.140 everybody else thinks. I worry about what I think and what my God thinks. Everybody else is everybody

00:18:21.840 else. That's a long answer to your question, but it's the truth.

00:18:24.840 Man, and there's so many different ways that we can take this. And I tried to take some notes because

00:18:29.600 there's a couple of different angles I want to look at here. One of the things that I wanted to

00:18:33.500 mention and not to stroke your ego or anything like that, you certainly don't need that from me.

00:18:37.960 But I noticed this fire and this intensity and this passion and I'm getting up and I'm doing work

00:18:42.480 and I'm getting after it and doing all these things. Do you think anybody can be that way? Or is that

00:18:46.960 something special in you and some of these other people? No question. Anybody can be that way. And

00:18:51.620 you don't have to be able to say it with a deep voice or with intensity. The people I respect most of my

00:18:57.240 life are just very simple. They're not wealthy. Some of my best friends are just very quiet

00:19:02.500 men who work their asses off. I have such a respect for a man who sets that example for their

00:19:09.960 family, such a level of disrespect, quite frankly, for men who don't. I have no tolerance for somebody

00:19:16.220 who says they want to do great things, says they love their family, says they want to be somebody

00:19:21.240 and then works like an average person. And so absolutely. In fact, not only do I think people

00:19:27.020 can, I demand it from the people around me and I don't have sympathy or empathy for people who

00:19:32.400 don't. So you're hit on a topic that's very important to me. I'm no better than any other

00:19:37.120 man. I have all kinds of deficiencies and insecurities and weaknesses as a man, but one of

00:19:43.200 them is not my work ethic. One of them is not showing up and fighting for my family. I have to

00:19:48.320 outwork everybody because I am under no illusion I'm better or more talented or more gifted than

00:19:54.460 somebody else. God gave each of us a unique giftedness. It could be your ability to communicate,

00:19:59.860 your math skills, your engineering ability, your intensity, your ability to listen, your ability

00:20:05.540 to problem solve, your work ethic, whatever it is, right? I know what mine are and I know what they're

00:20:09.800 not. I don't have a high IQ. I'm not particularly gifted intellectually, right? I'm not particularly

00:20:14.980 good looking or anything like that. I'm not tall. I'm any of those things. Where's what I got, man?

00:20:20.460 You know, I'm going to outwork your ass. I'm going to outwork you. I'm going to outwork you on me.

00:20:25.520 I'm going to work on myself, my personal development, my self-improvement, reading books,

00:20:29.680 listening to stuff, following the right mentors. And I'm just going to flout outwork you. We're in

00:20:34.500 the gym. I'm going to outwork you, man. And by the way, I'm not even trying to outwork you. I'm

00:20:38.580 trying to outwork me. I'm trying to get to my maxed out level of effort in that place. And when I leave

00:20:44.340 there and I put my suit on, now I'm going to outwork you on the phone. I'm going to outwork you one-on-one.

00:20:48.440 I'm going to put in that extra rep, that extra hour, that extra meeting, that extra call,

00:20:53.140 read that extra book because I'm humble and have enough humility to know I don't have

00:20:58.920 extraordinary gifts that should have made me a multimillionaire. I don't, or that someone should

00:21:03.780 be listening to me. I think people listen to me and follow me on social or my podcast or these

00:21:08.920 different things because they go, you know what? This dude isn't smarter than me. This dude didn't

00:21:14.820 grow up with a silver spoon. This guy's not incredibly gifted. He could talk. I could tell

00:21:19.260 when he talks. This dude could talk. I could tell when he talks, he means it. You get me talking about

00:21:23.960 my favorite sports team. I could talk all day long. You get me talking about my kids. I could talk all

00:21:27.480 day long. And I'm like, that's how I am about my life and my business. Everyone listening to this

00:21:32.300 has the ability to communicate to people about things they're passionate about. And last thing I'll tell

00:21:37.200 you, brother, sometimes the best communication is just your certainty level. It's not your words.

00:21:41.940 Sometimes you can communicate more in silence than you can with words, just with your belief

00:21:46.560 and your certainty. So yes, anybody can do that. Yeah. I think we can all feel it when we see that

00:21:51.160 guy who has the quote unquote X factor. He doesn't have to open his mouth for us to understand there's

00:21:55.480 something unique and special about that individual. All of us have been in a scrape or a fight with a

00:21:59.800 dude who's real loud and telling us he's going to beat our ass. We've all been in that one

00:22:02.980 encounter. And those aren't the guys that scare you. The dude who scares you is the guy who says

00:22:07.800 nothing. And he just gives you that look and you're like, uh-oh, I got a freak in front of me.

00:22:11.940 That's the wrong guy right here. If you'll ask me all the time, it's a good dude story. Like,

00:22:15.360 you know, I was an athlete. I do a little MMA stuff too. Like, what's the worst fight you've

00:22:19.200 ever been in in your life? I've been in all kinds of fights. Like every guy here is. But I had one

00:22:23.280 fight with a dude from Iowa who was a guy on my baseball team in college named Terry McGinn.

00:22:28.580 His dude was a wrestler from Iowa, five foot seven, not in real good shape. And I remember telling

00:22:34.880 him, I'm going to blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And we got into it. And next thing I know,

00:22:37.900 I was in some four finger headlock on the ground. He didn't say a word to me. So sometimes the guys

00:22:44.340 that are the scariest are the quiet ones. Yeah. You always look for that silence. And

00:22:47.620 you also look for cauliflower ear. That's a dead giveaway as well.

00:22:50.600 That's a dead giveaway. You're exactly right.

00:22:53.720 I want to go back to your analogy about, hey, I got to get my slice of pizza.

00:22:57.900 How do you reconcile getting yours? But at the same time, I know you to be a giving individual

00:23:02.540 and caring about others. So you're, you're talking about getting yours, but how do you balance that

00:23:06.720 with making sure others get theirs and you assist in that?

00:23:10.320 Yeah. The great misconception is that there's a finite amount of pieces in that pizza. In the real

00:23:17.240 world, there's an infinite amount, meaning simply because I get a whole bunch doesn't mean you get

00:23:22.500 less. This is something that even in business that if you own a business and you're listening to this,

00:23:27.340 you got to sell a big enough dream, a big enough vision to your folks that all of the dreams and

00:23:33.060 visions for their lives of the people that encounter you, that work with you can fit inside the one

00:23:37.120 you're selling because this is an infinite amount. As I've had more abundance in my life, I've been

00:23:42.620 able to create more abundance for the people who work with me, for the vendors who interact with me in

00:23:47.480 business, for my own family, for my friends, for different places I've invested money, different causes

00:23:52.540 I've invested money in. And so I know the more pieces of the pizza I actually get of life actually

00:23:58.900 creates more pieces for other people. And so I've sold myself that that's true and I've proven it.

00:24:05.080 When all of you become more wealthy that are listening to this, you're going to be able to do

00:24:08.740 such good with what you make. If someone's a good person, money magnifies their goodness. It's like

00:24:13.140 alcohol. It's a magnifier, right? If you're not a very good dude, you give that dude some alcohol,

00:24:17.940 it magnifies their, their shady side or their, or violent side, right? Sure. But if you're a good

00:24:22.360 person, alcohol sometimes could magnify that, right? Well, in the good thing, you're more joyous.

00:24:26.340 You're more funny. I don't mean to use alcohol to do that. And then money's the same way. It's a

00:24:29.920 magnifier. Magnifies your giving. It magnifies your goodness. It's funny. I had my son came home from

00:24:34.940 school. This was last year. And he said, dad, I don't want to make a lot of money. And I said, really?

00:24:39.380 Why? And he said, well, I think people, a lot of, a lot of money are bad. I'm like, well,

00:24:43.200 some are, but if you look at somebody like Bill Gates, one of the wealthiest people on the planet,

00:24:48.960 who's given away millions and millions and millions of dollars, uh, I would say he's a good

00:24:53.600 person and he's extremely wealthy. So it's not about the money. It's about what you do with it

00:24:58.180 and how you utilize it to serve yourself and the people that you feel like serving.

00:25:02.100 Yeah. Gates is a good example. There are some people that have some issues with Gates when it

00:25:06.260 comes to vaccinations. But one thing I will say with Gates is that his goal in his life is to cure

00:25:11.040 malaria. That's what he wants to do with his life. And malaria has killed more people on earth

00:25:16.280 than any single disease, especially in third world countries. So this man's taken his, his wealth.

00:25:20.840 And by the way, that's a big dream. The other element of his greatness is the man thinks big.

00:25:26.220 Sure. I mean, he wants to cure malaria, right? And so that's a kind of a big ambition. And by the way,

00:25:32.800 he probably won't in his lifetime, but his foundation probably will over time. And so that's what I

00:25:40.180 meant earlier when I said, I don't know that it's going to happen immediately, but I know that it'll

00:25:44.040 happen eventually. And I think Gates will actually eventually cure malaria in the world, or at least

00:25:48.980 people won't die from it anymore because it'll be treated. He does a lot with running water,

00:25:52.860 clean water. I won't get into what it does, but that's about a big dream and knowing that it may

00:25:56.040 not happen in his time, but that it'll happen. He may not be the direct solver of that problem,

00:26:02.100 but it will be through his legacy that he's leaving that, that hopefully that will come to fruition.

00:26:07.140 I guarantee you, he didn't know the first thing about how to cure malaria or how to get clean

00:26:10.540 water anywhere. He surrounded himself with experts and the bigger he grew his pizza,

00:26:15.100 more slices and more people got fed. More people will be fed the bigger you can grow the overall

00:26:21.160 pizza. Yeah, that's a great perspective. So I want to talk about something because I think you

00:26:25.660 probably get this a lot. I don't think this personally, but I imagine there's a lot of people

00:26:30.680 who are intimidated by you. And I imagine some of that probably is they believe manifesting itself

00:26:37.580 as ego versus pride. And I'd love to talk with you about the balance between being arrogant and

00:26:44.140 ego-driven versus just being proud of who you are and what you've accomplished.

00:26:48.080 It's something that if we're being candid, that I always, I don't want to say that I struggle with it,

00:26:53.780 but I certainly have had bouts with that in my life. In other words,

00:26:56.760 does my self-confidence begin to trickle into arrogance? I don't mean to keep going back to

00:27:02.460 the same thing, but in all candor, that is where my faith humbles me. God's had an interesting way

00:27:06.920 in my life as I started to think I was pretty incredible of humbling me, reminding me that it

00:27:11.540 is not all me. I make a big distinction between ego and self-confidence. My hard work comes from this

00:27:18.740 place of insecurity. Anytime you meet somebody who is externally very self-confident, I think you're

00:27:25.600 going to know that, and at least I know this one. I mean, it's why I connect with them so well. It's

00:27:28.480 why people ask me, well, how do all these high profile people end on your program? They're

00:27:31.520 friends of mine in my personal life. And okay, well, why are they your friends? And I think because

00:27:35.300 I have an appreciation for who they are. I know when I meet an externally very confident person,

00:27:39.740 typically this is someone who came from such a faraway place. They were required to do an incredible

00:27:44.320 amount of work on themselves just to get to a baseline of functioning. I know that's true for me.

00:27:49.240 I'm pretty good that when you get to know me, I kind of diffuse that immediately because I'm very

00:27:53.040 self-deprecating. I love being aware of what I'm weak at so that I can work on it. But I do from

00:27:58.840 time to time have to navigate those two things. I just think the difference between ego and

00:28:03.360 self-confidence is the ego-driven person thinks they're entitled to something and the self-confident

00:28:09.600 person does not. And so I don't believe I'm entitled to anything. I don't believe I'm better

00:28:13.920 than anybody. And the ego-driven person begins to believe their own press clippings. And that's always

00:28:19.920 the beginning of their demise. Whether you believe that in your faith or just overall,

00:28:23.140 their will to win gets bought. I watched this with the athletes that I coach. At one point,

00:28:27.420 they were afraid to lose. And so they busted their ass to get to a certain level. And then they win

00:28:30.880 the heavyweight championship in the UFC or they win a couple, they win a Superbowl. There's a big

00:28:35.980 difference between winning one Superbowl. A lot of people have won one Superbowl. A completely

00:28:39.780 different human wins five like Brady has. And the only way you win five, the only way you go to eight,

00:28:45.340 the only way John Elway played in all those Superbowls and then eventually won two of them,

00:28:50.540 both of these guys are friends of mine, is because of their humility level, not their ego. Their

00:28:55.940 humility is what caused them to continue to work because they knew at any moment they could lose,

00:28:59.920 at any moment they could fall backwards, at any moment somebody could take their title,

00:29:03.780 at any moment somebody could take your business, take your market, take your client. And the minute

00:29:08.280 the ego starts thinking you're entitled to your client, you're entitled to the money, you're entitled to

00:29:12.180 the growth of your company is the beginning of your demise. And so that's the separator.

00:29:16.640 This is a great point. I remember when Brett Favre was playing and I was talking with somebody and

00:29:21.380 they said, oh, he should just retire. He's on top. He should just retire. I'm thinking to myself,

00:29:25.540 you know, this guy's a competitor. He's a world-class athlete. Why would he retire on the top of his game?

00:29:30.940 He thinks he's got more. He wants to continue to push and push and push. Peyton Manning did the same

00:29:35.520 thing, push and push and push. And I imagine that those higher level aspirations above and beyond

00:29:40.860 what you've already accomplished is what not only helps you grow, but also keeps you humble because

00:29:46.500 you're going after bigger and greater things than you've ever done before.

00:29:49.520 Yeah. Probably one of the most offensive things that I get asked by people who love me,

00:29:53.260 they don't mean it offensively, is when's enough enough? You know, and I find that so offensive

00:29:58.560 because it notates that somehow that what I'm doing isn't helping others. When's enough memories?

00:30:03.280 When's enough contribution? When's enough growth? Because you really are in life. You're either

00:30:07.300 growing or dying. You imagine the Patriots are, you know, 10 and three and the guys in the huddle

00:30:11.780 going, Tom, when's enough enough? No one ever asks him that. We're okay. 10 and three, that's pretty

00:30:15.820 good. No one asks him that, right? So why do you ask business people that, right? And people, well,

00:30:20.280 it's so sad to watch Peyton Manning not be Peyton Manning his last year. It was so sad to watch Kobe

00:30:26.520 Bryant, you know, in his last year where he really couldn't play. No, it wasn't. No, it wasn't. It

00:30:31.860 wasn't sad at all. I watched this man max out his career, right? It's not sad to see that. You

00:30:37.140 can put me in the ground, man. If I'm not growing, if I'm not helping people, if I'm not having new

00:30:40.820 experiences, then what the hell am I doing here? Just existing, sitting on a beach, hitting a golf

00:30:45.580 ball. By the way, I sit on beaches and I hit golf balls, but that's not what I was born to do.

00:30:50.900 All of us were born to make a difference in the world. That sounds like the cheesiest thing in the

00:30:54.700 world, but it was. That difference could be as easy, seriously, as easy as a lady at the gym this

00:31:01.240 morning when I was there early. I've seen her there several times now. We've kind of bonded. She's a

00:31:05.880 heavyset woman, and I know what it takes for a woman who weighs what she weighs to just even to

00:31:11.020 get herself into the gym. Just being around all these fit people, the shame of being the heavy

00:31:16.480 person, you know, it may seem small, but I always tell her how proud I am of her. The reason she's

00:31:21.820 in there at 430 in the morning is she's a nurse, and she cares for people all day long. I've got to

00:31:26.720 know her. I'm not judging her. My little difference in the world is I make sure I go out of my way to

00:31:30.840 tell her how awesome she is. That's not huge, but the minute I'm told when's enough enough of that,

00:31:35.800 why am I living that? So, I'm always trying to make a difference.

00:31:38.900 That's awesome. Yeah, it actually reminds me this morning. I was driving down the road,

00:31:42.700 and I saw this gal running, and she was a little bit heavier, and her form was pretty rough. Her

00:31:47.500 running form was pretty rough, and that was my knee-jerk reaction, but then I thought, you know what?

00:31:52.000 This woman is out here running. She got up early. She's out here running. She's pushing it. She's

00:31:56.480 going to learn to develop a better running technique as she goes. She's going to lose weight. She's going

00:32:00.380 to get better. I mean, people are improving, and man, it's so easy for us as human beings to tear

00:32:06.520 people down when they're out trying to do something great for themselves. It's so true. My wife thinks

00:32:11.460 I'm crazy. I get so emotional when I see people trying. I'll give you a weird thing about me. When

00:32:16.780 I watch someone win a fight or a sports championship, my wife thinks this is the strangest thing, but my

00:32:23.180 favorite part of the game is not when they win. I'm the weirdo who sticks around, and I love

00:32:27.240 watching the interviews afterwards. On Sundays in football, I spend most of my time watching the

00:32:33.120 press conferences. I love watching people win. I love how they are. Tiger Woods this week, I don't

00:32:38.160 know when this will come out. Tiger Woods this week, though, made one of the great sports comebacks

00:32:42.280 of all time in the history of sports, right? Spinal fusion surgery, and I've watched him win,

00:32:48.300 but to be honest with you, I wanted to watch the three-minute interview afterwards. When he's in

00:32:53.060 that flow, when he's in that moment, celebrate it. I'm the same way when I watched that lady at the

00:32:58.800 gym. I celebrate. I don't criticize, and you're right. She doesn't have good form, and I will

00:33:03.820 eventually tell her she should get a trainer to help her, right? But right now, I got to celebrate

00:33:08.040 the effort. I got to celebrate that she's going for it because there are millions of people who

00:33:12.440 weren't there this morning in gyms. They weren't working out. They weren't trying to change their life.

00:33:17.160 Think about the courage it takes for that woman to go run because she doesn't know how to run.

00:33:21.660 Well, and she's running in public. She knows people are driving by, and yet she goes out there

00:33:25.600 and does it anyways. I just love that stuff. You get me emotional on that stuff.

00:33:32.220 Guys, let me just stop you real quick. The Iron Council, all right? It's likely you've heard me

00:33:36.580 talk about it by now, but if you haven't, this is our exclusive band of brothers. We're all working

00:33:41.820 to become better men, period. Bottom line, working to become better men. Now, I say exclusive because

00:33:46.300 it's a brotherhood of only 400 men who have all voluntarily raised their hands and said that I

00:33:51.880 want to be a better man. And rather than talking about what it simply means to be a better man,

00:33:56.560 we're actively working on becoming these types of men through assignments and challenges and

00:34:02.040 accountability to each other. It's like that quote that Marcus Aurelius once said,

00:34:06.740 waste no more time arguing about what a good man should be, be one. And that's exactly what we're

00:34:12.300 doing inside of the Iron Council. So if you're ready to get off of the sidelines of life and into

00:34:17.460 the game, or, or, you know what, maybe if you've been in the game, but you feel like that you're

00:34:21.340 either missing something or there's just something more that you're expected to do, or that you feel

00:34:25.600 you can do, then the Iron Council could be the exact resource that you guys need. You can learn more.

00:34:31.900 You can claim your seat in the brotherhood at orderofman.com slash Iron Council,

00:34:36.820 orderofman.com slash Iron Council. Guys, go get registered, check it out. You can

00:34:42.280 do that after the show, but for now let's finish up this conversation with Ed.

00:34:47.180 You talk about finding what you're born to do. How did you develop this for yourself? I should

00:34:52.680 preface this with, I imagine you found it. So how do you articulate that? How do you develop that?

00:34:58.240 How do you discover that for yourself? I go through periods where I wonder if what I'm doing is right,

00:35:02.780 by the way, like everybody listening to this, I'm, I'm human. I think that this giftedness thing's

00:35:07.560 pretty important. Here's what I think a happy person is. A happy person kind of figures out what

00:35:12.040 they're good at. And then they figure out how to use that gift to help other people.

00:35:16.680 That's what I think the formula for happiness is. Forget faith. Just set that aside for a second.

00:35:20.760 Now my faith is intertwined in that because I believe God gave me those natural gifts,

00:35:24.940 but you could just call it a talent. Okay. You find out what a couple of your talents are and

00:35:29.360 you find out how to utilize those talents for the betterment of other people. Now, if you can

00:35:32.760 monetize it, that's even better. That's even a kicker, right? Yeah. And so if I take my humble hat

00:35:37.420 off for a minute, I go, okay, well, what do you think some of your gifts are? I have a gift to

00:35:41.340 communicate. I've worked on that. I'm better at it now than I was initially, but I think that was

00:35:46.940 kind of a gift of mine. I have a heart that just connects with people in a very unique way. Like I

00:35:51.860 just love people. They sense that I love them. It's easy in the world as a business person, by the way,

00:35:56.700 to stop believing in loving people. Cause what happens? People let you down all the time. They lied to

00:36:01.300 you. They steal from you. They say, I'll see you at six 30. They no show. And then you call me,

00:36:04.940 go, Oh, they say, yes, I'll buy. Then they change their mind. Right? Like I'm in for life with your

00:36:10.520 brother in business and eight months later, they're gone. They're out. It's, it's easy to go. People

00:36:14.980 suck. People suck because it does happen, right? For all of those people. Then there's someone like

00:36:21.520 that lady at the gym. There's that lady running. There's you brother. There's me. There's the people

00:36:25.240 listening to this. I choose to be focused on them. So, but to answer your question directly,

00:36:30.100 some of my gifts are those things. I'm intense as hell. I think I was kind of born

00:36:34.820 to give people energy to, and give them passion to give them belief. A lot of times people borrow

00:36:40.240 belief because I have so much of it. I'm really good man at seeing someone as they could be not

00:36:46.580 as they are. That's hurt me before. Cause my wife's like, no, they're just what you see.

00:36:51.060 Stop projecting onto them this greatness that isn't there, but we do it with our children. Don't we?

00:36:56.400 We, we think our kids are pretty damn special. Yeah. Yeah, we do. Right. We see them as they could

00:37:01.580 be. We see their best version. If that's what I do with my, as a father, as a leader,

00:37:06.000 then I need to do that in business. What we do in business is we see the person who knows shows.

00:37:10.920 We see the person who doesn't keep their commitment. The weak business leader constantly

00:37:15.100 sees people as they are. Well, you shouldn't do that with your kids as they're misbehaving. That's

00:37:18.980 not who they are. You see what's possible. Our kids make mistakes all the time, but what do we

00:37:23.340 really see in them? We see them as they're going to be as they could be. We see the best version of

00:37:27.860 them. So I spend my life seeing those versions of people and that's a gift that I have. And so

00:37:33.260 I think identifying your gift, identifying what you're naturally love, and then finding a way to

00:37:38.640 utilize that to serve people through your business. And there are a lot of people, frankly, listening

00:37:42.640 to this that are in a business that chose them. They didn't choose it. Just life happened and you

00:37:47.700 ended up there and you're trying to figure out why you're not happier or more fulfilled. It's because

00:37:52.180 you're doing it for money. And by the way, you should make a ton of money. I've been happy, rich,

00:37:56.440 and I've been happy, poor, happy, rich is way better. I want you to be rich. I want you to be

00:38:00.680 wealthy, but chasing bucks and something you don't love is a formula for lack of fulfillment.

00:38:07.820 And so eventually you got to go, look, what I love is stuff I'm good at. What I love is stuff that

00:38:12.380 helps other people. What I love sort of comes almost naturally to me. I got to work at it.

00:38:17.840 The results don't come naturally, but it feels like it plays into my gift, something I'm naturally,

00:38:23.020 I have a proclivity for. A-Rod's a good buddy of mine, as you know, right?

00:38:26.960 Right. Yeah.

00:38:27.400 This guy spent his dadgum life. Now they had these issues at the end of his career,

00:38:31.440 but let's be honest, that dude was born to hit a baseball, right?

00:38:34.900 Yeah, there's no doubt. No doubt, regardless of some of those tainted images towards the end of

00:38:39.140 his career.

00:38:39.820 You got it. And Jennifer, his lady, she was born to entertain people. So those are extreme examples,

00:38:46.660 but what were you born to do? And start to look for that. Well, what do you, I'm good at math. I'm good

00:38:50.440 at engineering. I'm good at talking to people. I'm good at, I'm good at loving people. I'm good

00:38:54.220 at nurturing people. I'm good at listening to people. I'm good at talking to people. I'm funny.

00:38:58.440 I don't know what that thing is, right? I process information quickly. I problem solve well. I'm

00:39:04.260 great at marketing. Think about what you're great at. And that ought to take you in a direction of

00:39:08.500 where you should be business-wise.

00:39:10.220 And do you feel like when you do that, opportunities then begin to present themselves? Is that how you look

00:39:14.860 at this or?

00:39:16.520 I don't think opportunity always presents itself. I think sometimes it does, but I think sometimes you have

00:39:20.400 to go find it. Sometimes you have to get creative. Sometimes you have to be resilient and take

00:39:24.140 initiative. I'm blessed that the company that I work with primarily, I sort of did stumble into

00:39:29.420 ironically, but I immediately went, I love this. I'm good at this, right? I'm not saying that

00:39:35.920 everything that's worthwhile in life, you're initially good at because my gosh, did I struggle

00:39:40.960 financially for a long time, but there were elements of it that had my heart. In other words,

00:39:46.720 I struggled. Why did I stay in the business I'm in that eventually made me wealthy when there was

00:39:50.820 no money? Because it had my heart. It had my gift. I knew I belonged doing it. And so I think you have

00:39:56.440 to go seek it. It doesn't just always reveal itself to you.

00:39:58.800 The financial career or something else?

00:40:00.700 Through my financial career, I had a chance to speak on stage. This will give a good example to

00:40:04.960 everybody of how the path sort of can reveal itself. So I chased a financial career that I enjoyed

00:40:10.760 that had elements of reward for me. And through that career, one of the things I got a chance to

00:40:15.620 do was speak in front of people, which initially was a horrific experience. I was terrible at it

00:40:22.220 initially, like embarrassing. But through that financial career, I started to speak. And all of

00:40:27.320 a sudden, you know, there's a time or two people went, Hey man, that really made a difference. That

00:40:31.080 was good. Then I go, yeah, that was kind of good. I liked that. I like how what I'm doing makes me and

00:40:37.800 other people feel. And so I found my gift to communicate oddly through the financial business.

00:40:44.000 I don't think the financial business was the calling. I actually think it was connecting with

00:40:48.880 people and communicating that was the calling. But I found it through the financial business,

00:40:52.800 if that makes sense. And I think that's a very good question you've asked, because

00:40:56.100 you may be in a business that there are elements of that you love. And maybe those elements of it are

00:41:02.000 where you need to be eventually, not in the actual core business you're in.

00:41:05.340 This makes complete sense to me because as you know, financial services industry for about a

00:41:11.060 decade, four years ago, I started a podcast catered to medical professionals and helping

00:41:16.540 them with their finances. Through that, I realized I love the medium of podcasting. Didn't so much want

00:41:21.180 to continue to have the financial conversations. And here we are almost four years later doing the

00:41:25.320 order of man podcast. Isn't that amazing? And that's led you to what we talked about off the line

00:41:29.760 here with the retreats you're doing with the young men. And that's the path, everybody,

00:41:34.080 like, as you're listening to this, allow yourself to begin to see down the tunnel a little bit,

00:41:38.900 because probably where you are, it might be the right place. But there also might just be elements

00:41:42.880 that lead into there, just like it did for both you. And I love that version right there.

00:41:47.140 I think a lot of people believe that their experiences could be a waste of time. Oh,

00:41:52.080 I wasted 10 years in that business, or I wasted five years in that relationship that didn't work out.

00:41:57.280 And if you don't take anything away from it, that's probably true. But there are lessons in

00:42:01.680 every experience that you can take on to your next experience.

00:42:04.840 It's not the events of our lives that define us. It's the meaning we take from those events.

00:42:10.040 And so when you take a meaning away, this is so powerful, what you just said,

00:42:13.380 when you take a meaning away from an event, actually, that meaning creates an emotion.

00:42:18.300 And that emotion, we're going to be really scientific here, that emotion changes your

00:42:21.700 blood chemistry. It's critical, the meaning you take, you didn't waste 10 years in a relationship.

00:42:26.440 That's a terrible meaning to take from a relationship. What meaning would serve you?

00:42:29.900 Maybe you learned what you don't want. Maybe you learned the mistakes. Maybe there were things

00:42:34.140 that were revealed about yourself in that relationship. You don't want to be revealed

00:42:37.160 again, right? Maybe you accepted some treatment you shouldn't have accepted. And that's gotten to

00:42:41.960 cause you to grow and not accept it going forward. So every successful person repurposes their mess

00:42:48.140 and they use it to serve them. So I'm not telling you that it's great that my dad got cancer. I'd prefer

00:42:53.300 he didn't, but I find the powerful meaning in that adversity. And the powerful meaning is

00:42:59.880 been deep. I'm closer to my dad because I don't know how many years he's got left.

00:43:03.580 I value every conversation with my old man differently than I used to. That's the God's

00:43:07.840 honest truth. I value my own mortality more. I value my time. I'm in a bigger hurry to accomplish

00:43:14.260 things because I want my dad to see them. I'm aware that I'm not here forever. My dad said

00:43:18.900 something to me when he first got it. He goes, we found out in April with both our birthdays in April.

00:43:23.300 And he goes, yeah, I don't know how many more Aprils I'm going to have.

00:43:27.200 Right. And I went to myself, I went, I wonder how many more Aprils I'm going to have.

00:43:32.220 And it just started to change my perception. And so oddly our relationship's better. My relationship

00:43:38.420 with my mom is better. I'm closer with my sisters because of it. I'm more conscious of my own health

00:43:43.260 because of it. My own relationship with my children. I've bit my tongue several times wanting

00:43:48.500 to say something to my dad when he pisses me off that I don't say now that I would have said if he

00:43:53.260 weren't sick. So there's all kinds of little ripples of everything in your life is happening

00:43:59.300 for you, not to you. And if you live a life where life happens to you, you live a very average empty

00:44:06.600 existence. But if you can repurpose adversity, positive and negative events happening for you,

00:44:12.840 you are living on your purpose. And so the business you're in, whether you belong in it or not,

00:44:17.400 is happening for you. Repurpose that mess and make it work for you.

00:44:22.460 Yeah, that's really powerful. You know, I'm looking at the clock and thinking about how,

00:44:25.560 how quick this has gone. I wanted to talk with you about this term of maxed out. Obviously I

00:44:30.080 understand the analogy. I think most men probably would. You wrote a book on it, max out your life.

00:44:35.120 I'd really like to understand where this concept comes from and then how it translates from the gym to

00:44:40.660 life. Sure. Thank you for asking that, by the way, everyone to hear this, to get the book,

00:44:44.720 it's free. Okay. So I did not write the book to make any money. I wrote the book to help people.

00:44:48.400 So if they go to maxed out book.com maxed out book.com and you use the code max out,

00:44:54.460 I'll buy the book for you. You just got to get it shipped. There's no upsell afterwards. There's

00:44:57.540 no seminar to get into or anything like that. So, so everybody can have the book. It's just a hundred

00:45:01.720 pages. You read it in a day or two. Every page has content in it. Where it came from was it's

00:45:06.280 redefined my life. My boy was six years old. My son's name is Max. And we were at a car wash. We would

00:45:11.940 go to every single week, two events to find my life. I'll tell you as quickly as I can. I think

00:45:15.880 it'll help everybody. So at this car wash, I'd see the same older man there every week. Ironically,

00:45:20.740 that man was about the age I am now, but at that time he was an older man. He said what you would

00:45:28.120 say to somebody with children. He goes, how old is your son? And I said, he's six. And he goes,

00:45:31.820 that's wonderful. Make sure you enjoy the six year old because that version of him will be gone

00:45:36.520 forever. When he turns seven, there'll be a whole different little man there and enjoy the seven year

00:45:40.760 old. Cause when he turns eight to seven year olds gone forever, every parent is nodding their head

00:45:45.060 right now. I'm actually literally nodding my head. As you're saying this, my 17 year old boy is so

00:45:50.980 different than that six year old that he was talking to that day. Right. And it's just a

00:45:55.260 completely different version, different voice, different personality, different everything.

00:45:59.300 And I reflexively said to him with no disrespect intended, I said, sir, when did that process stop for

00:46:05.900 you? And he just stared blankly at me. When did you stop dropping the former version of you?

00:46:12.800 And he goes, I don't know. And I said, you should figure that out because what happens is in life is

00:46:18.840 at some age that stops and it's not natural. It's not supposed to be the case, but all of a sudden

00:46:24.020 the 25 year old version of us is just like the 24 year old. The 31 is just kind of almost identical

00:46:30.120 to the 30 year old man. The 40 year old is like identical to the 35 year old. That's not natural.

00:46:35.920 You should be getting to the next best version of you constantly. After that, many years later,

00:46:40.440 my daughter, we were at my wife's birthday party at a restaurant. My wife goes, dad, what's up with

00:46:45.060 this midlife crisis? My daughter's really direct. And I said, which by the way, she was the quietest

00:46:50.200 little one and she's the boisterous older one. Sounds maybe like yourself. I wonder if you see a

00:46:54.960 little bit of you and inside of her. She's nailed it. She's my identical twin, literally. And it

00:47:00.200 leads to this version. So I go, what are you talking about? She goes, come on, dad, social

00:47:04.600 media, you grow out a beard. It's a midlife crisis. Right. And I go, you know what, baby, I am in a

00:47:10.860 crisis. And I said, and I was in a crisis before you were born. The 24 year old was in a crisis to

00:47:15.680 be a different version at 25. And the 30 year old, honey, I was in a crisis to be a different man at 31.

00:47:21.920 This defines your daddy. And so guess what? I was 46 at the time. I said, this 46 year old, I'm in a

00:47:27.440 crisis to be better at 47. I said, when I'm 65, I'll be in an old life crisis. And so maxed out

00:47:34.780 came from at the end of my life. I have this hallucination that when I meet God, God's going to

00:47:40.020 say to me, well done, good and faithful servant. But he's also going to go, hey, let me introduce you

00:47:43.880 to the man you could have been your desk version. This is the guy. These are the memories you could

00:47:48.860 have had the place you could have gone, the people you could have helped, the confidence you could

00:47:51.900 have had, the way you could have felt about. This is who I made you to be. Meet him. And I have this

00:47:57.200 obsession, dude. It's crazy, by the way, but it is a fact. I have this obsession that when I meet this

00:48:03.180 man, he says to me, he goes, hey, brother, proud of you. We're identical twins. And I'd say, I've been

00:48:08.660 chasing you all my life, man. And we're like kindred spirits. To me, that would be heaven. Hell

00:48:14.220 would be I meet that person and we're total strangers. My life went down a path completely

00:48:20.080 different than what my destiny could have been. And I don't see the places I could have seen.

00:48:23.900 I don't have the memories I could have had. I don't help the people. Hell will be meeting that

00:48:28.440 man and we're complete strangers. Heaven is we're identical twins. And so it sounds corny. But if

00:48:33.500 you knew me and you do a little bit, brother, I'm obsessed daily with chasing that dude. And it's

00:48:38.520 maxing out the moment, maxing out the gym, maxing out this call with you, maxing out the time with my

00:48:44.500 children, maxing out church, maxing out my money, maxing out my giving, maxing out my travel.

00:48:50.400 I want to max it all out. So I meet that dude. We're twins.

00:48:53.580 That is such an incredible perspective. I love that. I've got to incorporate that in my life

00:48:57.920 because that is very, very powerful. I think about it all the time with,

00:49:00.880 is this decision I'm making getting me closer to that guy or further away? It's my barometer.

00:49:06.180 Man, that's amazing. Well, look at speaking of maxing out, I know we're getting close on maxing

00:49:10.300 out time. You've got a hard stop. I want to be respectful of your time. So let me ask you a couple

00:49:14.180 of questions and then I'll let you off the line here. The first one is what does it mean to be a

00:49:18.100 man? I think being a man is to be strong and to serve. My job is to protect people as a man,

00:49:26.820 protect my family, protect my friends, to be strong for them. When I think of a man, a real man,

00:49:32.820 I think of strength. But I also think that strength is from serving people. And so in order to serve,

00:49:38.940 sometimes I got to be vulnerable like I am with you today. Here's my insecurities. Here's what I'm weak

00:49:42.580 at. Be truthful. And so for me, it's to give. It's to contribute. It's to find ways to make

00:49:47.760 someone's world and life better. It's a cool way to live, man. I know when people hear this,

00:49:52.340 they're like, does he really do this all the time? No. Can I be a dick? Yes. Do I periodically lose

00:49:58.760 my temper? Am I lazy? Yes. But I kind of got this thing governing my life, man. And that is that I want

00:50:05.240 to max it out and I want to contribute and serve people. I think a real man serves people and protects

00:50:11.100 them. For me, that's my existence. It's like I'm always fulfilled when I do that. I want you to

00:50:16.140 have a jet. I want you guys to have fast cars. People say all the time, do material things make

00:50:20.380 you happy or they don't make you happy? That's a lie. Material things can make you happy. Anybody

00:50:24.660 listen to this that's ever bought a new car, you're happy when you bought it. Sure. You got a nice new

00:50:28.700 shirt. You're going out. You bought a nice watch. You're happy. But what it won't do,

00:50:33.600 what it won't do is fulfill you. It's short term. I want you to be happy. And guess what? Having money

00:50:39.040 can make you happy, but it'll never fulfill you. It'll never fill you up. It'll never make you feel

00:50:44.140 like a man. Your car will never make you feel like a man. Your watch, your jet, your house,

00:50:48.780 you'll never feel like a man. But it can't make you happy. They're lying when they tell you it doesn't

00:50:51.760 make you happy. But here's what will make you feel like a man. Being strong and serving people

00:50:57.000 will make you feel like a man every time. And so that would be the answer. Right on. Well,

00:51:01.320 how do we connect with you, learn more about what you're doing? You already gave us the link for the

00:51:04.180 book, but anything else is a way to connect with you. Let me tell you one thing I want to

00:51:07.860 acknowledge you. One of my favorite interviews and it went way too quickly. It went fast. Went

00:51:11.960 very fast. You're outstanding at this. And I feel like we even have more to talk about and I'll have

00:51:16.060 you on my show. I think best way, just social media. If you go to Instagram or Twitter or Facebook,

00:51:21.260 probably Instagram, Ed Mylett, E-D-M-Y-L-E-T-T. And then edmylett.com is cool because I have a weekly

00:51:28.520 email I put out that's free. That's just got all kinds of research and information and inspirational

00:51:32.520 stuff for men and women as well. Right on. We'll link it all up. And I just want to let you know that

00:51:37.440 the way that you show up is very congruent with what you're talking about here. And

00:51:41.640 unfortunately, I think that's sometimes a little bit rare finding a man who talks about things,

00:51:46.540 but lives his life accordingly. You've done that. You've been helping and serving me for over a

00:51:50.920 decade, whether you realize it or not. And I am very, very appreciative of you and taking your time

00:51:55.160 to share some of your thoughts with us. Thanks for coming on, brother. I'm grateful, man. Thank you.

00:51:59.260 Enjoyed it so much. Gentlemen, there it is. My conversation with Mr. Ed Mylett. I told you when we

00:52:05.600 started the show is going to be a powerful one. I think that all of you can attest to the fact that

00:52:09.800 it was indeed a very powerful show. Go check out his book. Go check out what Ed's doing on Instagram

00:52:15.180 and Twitter and everywhere else that he's showing up. I promise you that you will be a better man

00:52:18.980 when you tap into what Ed is doing. And more importantly, you actually incorporate it into

00:52:24.260 your life. I'm telling you, I've been listening to Ed for 10 years, first on CDs and then on the podcast

00:52:30.180 and everywhere else I could find what he was doing and how he was promoting and sharing his

00:52:34.500 wisdom. And I'm telling you, I'm a better man because this individual is in my life. And I think

00:52:40.120 you guys will be as well. So make sure you go check it out, connect with Ed. And while you're there on

00:52:44.300 Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, YouTube, wherever Ed is, just make sure you drop him a line and just tell

00:52:49.220 him you heard him on the Order of Man podcast. Let him know what you liked about the show, what you

00:52:52.940 liked about his words. And I think that'll go a long way in helping him, of course, solidifying and

00:52:59.260 reaffirming the good work that he's doing. And then of course, help us grow this mission of Order of

00:53:04.060 Man, which is to reclaim and restore masculinity. I always say this in a society that seems to be

00:53:10.220 more and more dismissing. I still think it's a sliver of the population, but this is the

00:53:15.860 vocal minority. And I think it's up to us as men who want to be good fathers and husbands and

00:53:21.980 business owners and community leaders and men in general to set the example and also set the narrative

00:53:28.160 about what it actually means to be a man. So I'm glad that you're on this journey. I couldn't do it

00:53:32.980 without you. It's humbling. It's inspiring. I'm honored, frankly, that you listen to these words

00:53:40.780 and you're applying this stuff. And I get messages from you and I hear about your business successes

00:53:45.880 and the relationships that you're growing and reconnecting with your kids and losing weight and

00:53:50.400 doing all the powerful things that you're doing. So guys, keep it up. You're inspiring me more than

00:53:54.820 I think I ever inspire you. I can't tell you how much it means to me that you're on this path with

00:53:59.920 me. So guys, go out there, share this episode, go reach out and connect with Ed, leave us a rating,

00:54:05.560 leave us a review, talk with your friends, father, brother, coworkers, whoever it may be about what

00:54:10.180 we're doing here. Invite them, get them on board with the Order of Man mission. And let's go out

00:54:15.380 there, take action and become the men we are meant to be. Thank you for listening to the Order of Man

00:54:22.140 podcast. If you're ready to take charge of your life and be more of the man you were meant to be,

00:54:26.900 we invite you to join the Order at orderofman.com.

Order of Man - November 06, 2018

Max Out Your Life ｜ ED MYLETT

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