Meet Challenges Like a Man ｜ FRIDAY FIELD NOTES
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Summary
Your ability to overcome the challenges and hurdles in your life is what differentiates you from other individuals, males who are not men. I firmly believe that it s those males who step up, who lead effectively, who problem solve, and overcome challenges are the ones who rightfully are able to use the title of man. And if you re not stepping up to challenges and hardships, then you are not doing what you re meant to be doing.
Transcript
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you're a man it's a profession and i wish more of us looked at it this way it's the profession of
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being a man and if it's our profession then we should be thinking about ways we can constantly
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improve make yourself capable and always financially mentally emotionally spiritually
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physically go work out go train eat correctly feel your body right learn the marketable skills
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get promotions start businesses learn how to network learn how to train this is our job
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men challenge is inevitable in your life your ability to overcome the obstacles the trials
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the hurdles the challenges that you face and that your family and your people face is what
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differentiates you from other individuals males who are not men i firmly believe that it's those
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males who step up who lead effectively who problem solve who overcome challenges are the ones who
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rightfully are able to use the title of man and if you're not stepping up to challenges and you're not
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overcoming those hardships then you are not doing what you're meant to be doing our mission here and
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our motto is to protect provide and preside it's to take care of yourself it's to be capable of
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providing for yourself and loved ones it's to be able to care for those who need you who cannot
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potentially care for themselves and it's your ability to lead as a man in righteousness that
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really spells the difference between you being a man and you being a child simply a male and we've
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all heard the term that being a male is a matter of uh birthright but being a man is so much more so
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today i'm going to talk with you about what you can do to overcome challenges and hurdles and struggles
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in your life because that's what's going to make you who you want to be who your people need you to
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be and the kind of man that you have the ability to become so number one we have to get our mind right
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if you can't get your mind wrapped around the idea that your job is to solve problems that your job is to
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look for things that could potentially go wrong that your job is to step up when everybody else around
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you is falling apart mentally physically emotionally they're having emotional breakdowns they're having
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mental baggage and blockage and they're physically incapable of dealing with whatever the situation
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demands it's your job to make sure that you handle that because when everything goes down when it hits the
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fan people look to you or they don't based on their belief in your ability to get them through that
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circumstance so what's your if it's your family who might be struggling financially they're going to
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look to you if it's your children who are having a hard time at school maybe they're getting bullied
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maybe they're having a difficult time with a concept a new concept they're learning at school
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they're going to look to you if an intruder breaks into your home your wife's not going to get out
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of bed and handle it it's going to be you every situation that you're going to encounter people are
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going to look to you and i shared this concept with somebody else is that we believe that leadership just
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means that everything goes well when things are going well i don't consider that leadership now it's
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nice when things are going well but leadership really reveals itself when things are going poorly
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and your job is to solve the problems that come up please don't put that on your wife don't put that
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on your children don't put that on your colleagues and your co-workers uh and your clients and your
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employees and don't even put it on your employers you know you hear guys who will say you know that's
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above my pay grade they don't pay me enough to handle that problem and you know what those guys are
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always are broke miserable unfulfilled dissatisfied passed over for promotions because they think that
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it's somebody else's job to do the thing it's not it's your job to do the thing and the more that you
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can wrap your head around that and have that ingrained and etched into your dna as a man the
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better off you're going to be and the better off that the people around you are going to be so that's
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number one your job is to solve problems your job is to protect provide and preside and if you're
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doing anything to the contrary you're not being the man that you could be now this is about the
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time that people come back to me and say well ryan what about this thing that you did and what about
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this way that you messed up and what about your past divorce and what about your your failures and
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and your finances and what about when you were overweight and out of shape and what about your
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addiction and by the way they're not wrong they're exactly right but that's what i'm telling you
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see i'm not telling you that you can be those things in spite of your deficiencies in your
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inadequacies i'm telling that you that it's your job to overcome them and so if you're falling short
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you're not being the kind of man that you could be same as me same as everybody else listening to this
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podcast and i'll be the first to admit that when i fall short in my life it's because i'm not doing
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what i ought to be doing it's not because i don't believe that we should be doing better it's
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because i'm not doing what i know we ought to be doing you do it too we all do it we all fall
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short of our ideals our job is to live up to our ideals let's get to point number two point number
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two is anticipation guys you need to scan your surroundings physically mentally emotionally
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spiritually you need to know what the enemy is if you're going into a crowded environment and
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you're taking your wife out to dinner or to a concert it's your job to keep her protected
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yeah sure enjoy the music enjoy the performance enjoy the show enjoy the movie enjoy the dinner
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enjoy whatever it is you're doing but ultimately the buck stops with you it's her job to show up
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and be lovely and support and enhance your life it's your job to make sure she has the environment
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the container where that can happen so you when you go into a restaurant need to put your back
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against the wall you're the one that needs to be scanning the area you're the one who needs to be
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looking for threats you're the one who needs to be looking for things outside of the ordinary
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so you can be prepared for things that might inevitably come up now i'm not telling you that you
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should be paranoid about these things because that hinders your ability to perform but you ought to be
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prepared for it which means situational awareness unbear your nose out from the phone look around scan
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your surroundings be capable and try to be intimidating try to take up space that's what men ought to do
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when it comes to work look at what your competitors do are doing look at what the markets are doing look at
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what technology is coming down the line that you need to be aware of when it comes to your children
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look for cues what are they dealing with where has their behavior changed where are they struggling what are they
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dealing with you have to anticipate that things are going to go wrong guys when in the history of humankind has
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everything always been perfect when in your own life have you ever done anything that went according to plan
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if you're getting blindsided constantly by a job layoff or a medical diagnosis
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or one of your people getting hurt or getting injured or the transmission on the vehicle going out
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or the economic dynamic changing or changing of the political waves in society and you're blindsided all the time
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why are you being so ignorant to it why are you being oblivious why are you being unaware that's not
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your role your role is to be keenly aware of everything that could be going on around you and
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everything that poses a risk to you and yours and if you're not constantly thinking about what those
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threats are not again being paranoid but being prepared then you're leaving room on the table and people
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will not look to you because they can't trust you and i promise at the end of the day more so than that
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you're not going to feel good about yourself i've had situations in my life where i have been
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underqualified underprepared and then when i get caught with my proverbial pants down
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it's like i i act as if i'm a victim i ask if i act as if i'm blindsided by what's going on and
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the reality is i should not have been i should have been totally prepared for those things
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what are you doing to make sure you're prepared financial provisions provisions around the house
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making sure that your family is safe making sure that you have a plan at work for natural disasters
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and at home for the house catching on fire or an intruder breaking in or if there's financial
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catastrophe or if there's civil unrest or if there's an active shooter situation these things
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all happen every day we we listen to we read we get the news about these things happening don't be
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unprepared number three and this moves into the next thing from mindset to being aware of the threats is
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to be capable if you're living paycheck to paycheck can you honestly look another person in the eye and
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saying you're doing everything that you can be doing as a man to protect provide and preside for you
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and yours of course you're not get a budget budget every week live below your means be disciplined
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with your spending learn how to invest learn where to put your money learn how to pay off debt don't
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get into debt in the first place and once you pay it off don't put yourself back into debt by buying
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the next new dumb thing that you were tempted to buy be smart be intelligent have a nest egg learn how
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to invest develop a skill that will help you make money not just now but into the future if you're at
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work and you're saying you know i'm not going to do that because they don't pay me enough and so you
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just sit on your haunches and you believe that you can just ride the coattails of what somebody
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else is doing you're you're not being a man you're you're being a child at best and i'm not saying you
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have to work for free or you have to do something above and beyond what you've been contracted to do you
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can make that decision but it's those people who go above and beyond they invest in themselves they
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get new credentialing or new licensing or new degrees they go to courses they go to conferences
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they develop new skill sets and then their employers over time and i know it happens in isolated moments
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where your efforts go unnoticed but you you can't honestly believe that if you do all of the right
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things when it comes to adding value and being a valuable player on your team if it's an employment
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in this case that it's going to be overlooked forever you might have an isolated moment because
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you were in a bad situation but if you do that long enough i promise you you will win i guarantee
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you will win so let's not play the scarcity of i don't pay me enough or that's above my pay grade
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yeah maybe it is but don't you want to get to that point and if that's the case then you need to make
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yourself capable in all ways if if you're listening to this and you're in a public space right now
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if somebody came in an active shooter situation and started shooting up you and and the people you
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love and random strangers do you have the skill set to deal with it do you have your firearm on you
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can't are you trained with it can you make an accurate shot can you get people to safety can you get
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them out of that environment do you know first aid do you do you know medical life-saving skills if not
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what are you doing you're a man you it's a it's a profession and i wish more of us looked at it this
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way it's the profession of being a man and if it's our profession then we should be thinking about ways we
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can constantly improve make yourself capable and always financially mentally emotionally spiritually
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physically go work out go train eat correctly feel your body right learn the marketable skills
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get promotions start businesses learn how to network learn how to train martial arts learn how to
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use your firearm learn situational awareness learn medical life-saving skills this is our job
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quite literally our job as men the next guys is you have to keep yourself emotionally regulated
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your job is to create safety for the individuals around you this is one that i personally struggle
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with and it's one that i'm constantly working on you know when my sons or daughters say say something
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that uh you know fires me up or triggers me or or pushes me in in a certain way or triggers me
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in just the right way where they know how to trigger it's my job to keep myself emotionally regulated now
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i'm not great at this i'm not saying that i'm great at this i'm saying i'm aware of this as something
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that i personally need to work on but if you find yourself getting fired up because your boss says
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something or a client says something or your wife says something in a particular way or your son or your
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daughter says something that pisses you off and makes you feel disrespected at some point along the line
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you ought to recognize that there is something that's triggering you that you're probably not
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even aware of and you need to figure out why that is you can do a lot of work with uh carl young's
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shadow work um you can do some journaling you can reflect every single day in my case sometimes when i
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get heated and fired up i just disengage from the situation temporarily maybe i'll go for a walk
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um or i'll get a breath of fresh air or i'll turn off the electronics and focus on my kids or my
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girlfriend or maybe in some points i will focus on my business and do something productive and
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constructive but my job is to regulate my emotions they're not wrong you can be angry
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you can be afraid you can you can have guilt and sorrow and remorse about your life and you can be
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joyful you can be happy and you can be playful and you can have fun you can do all of these things
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but if you just notice yourself as a roller coaster of emotional highs and lows nobody's gonna feel like
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they can rely on you i know people like this and when they're high they're high and when they're low
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they're low and i'm telling you right now that those are not people that you can trust and they're not
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people that others are going to look to in times of turmoil and strife and you're not even going to feel
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confident in what you can do yourself as roger kipling says in his poem if and i'm paraphrasing
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because i don't have it memorized but he says that your goal is to keep yourself regulated that you can
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face defeat in the exact same way that you may face victory and if you can do that you'll be a man
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my son as roger kipling says next is your job is to help people find solutions to their own problems
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i have seen so many men get wrapped up in making other people's problems their priority
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and we should prioritize that to a degree based on who it is if it's your wife or your children or
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employees or clients then some of their problems are going to be your priority but if it comes at
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the expense of your own well-being or your ability to do other things that you have responsibilities
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for that's a problem and by the way every time you rush in like captain america to save people from
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their problems barring immediate physical danger you're actually hurting them because you're not
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giving them the benefit of the consequences of poor decision making if my one of my children i have four
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children i have three sons and a daughter if one of my children makes a mistake at school today
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and i go in and i rush in and i start chastising the teacher or the principal or the other kid or
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blame it on any of that and not actually put any responsibility on my own child even though they
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may have been the ones who created the problem then i'm robbing them of the consequence of their
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poor decision making process they have to feel the sting and my job is not to create solutions
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my job is to navigate and coach and to guide and to lead through good question uh good questions and
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making sure that my children um have the skill set they need to thrive and my clients have the skill
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set my employees have the skill set i don't want to do all things at all times i don't want to be
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everything to everybody i want my people to thrive and that means that i need to give them the tools
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they need my resources are their resources i'm not going to give them the answers but i'm going to
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give them the resources and then to empower them to let them go to give them a little bit of a leash
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not enough to hurt themselves or hang themselves with but just enough to maybe feel that choke around
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their neck a little bit and say that hurts i shouldn't do that anymore right but again as i said
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earlier your job is to create a safe environment so they can experiment they can try things and they
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can test and they can see what works and see what doesn't without the risk of imminent danger
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not keeping them from the consequences of poor decisions but out of danger that's going to empower
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them to believe in them to support them to edify them to encourage them to uplift them and to help them
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come up with the problems to their own solutions guys there's a way to handle challenge and it's not
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the modern version of man where he whines and he whimpers and he complains and he plays victim and he
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hopes that the government big daddy government or whoever else he's looking to will come in and swoop
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down from above and rescue him from his problems the problem with that is that if we're so reliant on
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other people and other institutions then we inevitably subject and enslave ourselves to
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other institutions and people who would love nothing more than to have power over us
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in order to face challenges like a man you need to make yourself sovereign physically meaning you're
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strong you're bold you're capable you're healthy you're eating right you're fueling your body correctly
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and you're doing the right things mentally meaning that you're pushing yourself you're learning new
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skills you're learning new mindsets you're developing your mind and your brain and you're
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critically thinking and you're problem solving emotionally regulating your emotions not that
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you can't be angry or sad or glad or mad or happy or in love or hate but that you regulate the emotion
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to produce effective outcomes whether it's a so-called negative emotion or a positive one and of course
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making sure that you're connected spiritually that you believe in something bigger than yourself for
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me it's god that i believe that he has his hand in all of my dealings that he is conspiring for me
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not against me that i am put on this planet to do something bigger and greater and grander than myself
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that i'm here to serve that i'm here to take my god-given gifts and talents and abilities and
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deploy them in a way that effectively serves other people
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i would assume because you're listening to this podcast that as a man
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you want to be the one that other people look to when it is going wrong
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when you're in dangerous situations and circumstances
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when everywhere else they're looking seems dire and dangerous
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i imagine because you're listening to this podcast you want those people to look
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and if you want those people to look to you you better be capable of being looked to
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you better be the kind of man who knows it's his job to solve problems
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you better be the kind of man who's able to anticipate
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the threats acknowledge them early and do something about it
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you better be the kind of man who is constantly working to make himself more capable
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you better be the kind of man who doesn't freak out or flip out or loses cool
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or he's on the top of his game and he's achieved some great thing
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that nobody else would know the difference because he's so regulated emotionally
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and you better find a way to help people solve their own problems
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empower edify train uplift other people because that's your job
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if you want to get more specific in this let me know
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if you want to work with other men who are like this so that some of that can rub off on you
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and you can learn a little bit more about what me and other men are doing
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can face the challenges that we deal with head on
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then you need to join us inside of our brotherhood
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you can't put it all on your wife you can't put it all on your kids
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you can't put it all on anybody else but having good men in your corner
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who you can actually talk with not to whine and bitch and moan and complain
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with the anticipation that you're going to find
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in fact i had three or four maybe even four conversations today with iron council members
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in fact i'm working with a close personal friend of mine right now
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this is the kind of resource that you're going to get inside of our private brotherhood and community
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guys we got a great great conversation coming out next week
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with the new york times best-selling author jack carr
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and that means that i need you to take a screenshot
00:25:05.000
thank you for listening to the order of man podcast