Order of Man


Men Aren't Meant to Go At It Alone ｜ FRIDAY FIELD NOTES


Episode Stats


Harmful content

Misogyny

3

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Hate speech

4

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Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

Men are not meant to do life alone. In this episode, I discuss why and why not only that, but why every man needs good men in his corner to help guide and guide him in the right direction.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest. Embrace your fears and boldly chart
00:00:04.980 your own path. When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time. Every time.
00:00:10.460 You are not easily deterred or defeated. Rugged. Resilient. Strong. This is your life. This is who
00:00:17.200 you are. This is who you will become. At the end of the day, and after all is said and done,
00:00:22.780 you can call yourself a man. Men are not meant to do life alone. Now somewhere along the way,
00:00:28.320 we collectively as a society have decided or at least adopted the idea that the lone wolf,
00:00:35.480 the omega, the alpha, whatever term you want to use for a man doing life on his own is superior to
00:00:41.600 a man who does life with other men. I get it. Our ego, our pride, our arrogance, our desire to 0.96
00:00:48.320 thrive and succeed and not need anybody else in our corner is one of the things that drives this
00:00:53.620 narrative. Unfortunately, it's just not reality. There's an epidemic of men who are struggling with
00:00:58.860 anxiety, depression, even suicide. Studies often suggest that suicide for men is up to four times
00:01:06.040 that of what it is for women. Couple that with the lack of meaning and purpose and clarity in our 0.91
00:01:12.840 lives. And it's very easy to see why men who are doing life on their own continually struggle. Today,
00:01:18.500 I'm going to share with you four different resources or ideas as to why that's the case,
00:01:23.000 why every man needs good men in his corner, including having a sounding board, having
00:01:27.940 accountability, creating new opportunities that would not be available otherwise. And lastly,
00:01:33.320 the friendship and fellowship that comes with having men in our corner. Guys, before I get into
00:01:39.680 that announcement, the first thing I want to do, actually two things today. Number one is I want to
00:01:44.240 share with you our partners and good friends over at Montana knife company. They are making knives
00:01:50.100 100% made and sourced in America out of Montana. And I use these knives exclusively in the field when
00:01:57.620 I'm hunting and in the kitchen, when I'm breaking down the meat and cooking the meat for my family that
00:02:02.960 I obtained from hunting. If you're looking for a good quality knife, look no further than Montana knife
00:02:08.340 company and use the code order of man, all one word at checkout, because you'll save some money on one of
00:02:13.600 their knives or any other product that you decide to pick up again, Montana knife company.com. And also want
00:02:20.280 to mention that right now our exclusive brotherhood, the iron council is open for enrollment. We are only
00:02:26.380 open for the next few days, the end of this month, uh, March of 2024. So please, if you are interested, go to
00:02:32.680 order of man.com slash iron council and watch a quick video, learn a little bit more about what we're up to
00:02:38.760 and band with us inside the iron council. Again, that's order of man.com slash iron council. All
00:02:44.940 right, guys, let's get into this. I want to jump right into the four reasons why every man needs men
00:02:49.600 in his corner and why we're not meant to do life alone. Number one, you need a sounding board. All
00:02:54.980 right. Sometimes when I share ideas, uh, vocally, the, they sound really good in my mind. It sounds like
00:03:02.600 a good idea. Uh, but when I start verbalizing these things, all of a sudden it doesn't sound so good
00:03:09.400 or I get input and feedback from people who are in my corner who are capable and credible when it
00:03:16.240 comes to offering that advice guys, when we have ideas and thoughts and we just let them bounce around
00:03:21.300 in our brain without having any sort of venting mechanism, it becomes an echo chamber of ideas and
00:03:27.720 thoughts and you cannot create anything new or exciting in your life in the same vein as what
00:03:33.160 you've created in the past. Creativity by design has to have new inputs, has to have new ideas and
00:03:39.280 information and education and resources. And the only way to do that is by having other men in your 0.99
00:03:44.660 corner who you can share your ideas with or share your life stories or your perspective or your
00:03:50.220 experience or the things that you're struggling with. I have people in my life, lots of people in fact,
00:03:55.880 that I can share ideas with. Uh, one thought I had is I just had a, uh, a good friend of mine reach out
00:04:02.560 because he was noticing I was a little bit off yesterday and he reached out because he cares
00:04:07.640 about what I'm up to. And I could have closed down and said, Oh no, I'm good. Everything's good. But
00:04:12.340 instead I decided to share with him a little bit about my own personal struggles that I'm, that I might
00:04:17.220 be dealing with. So I shared those with him and, and it's not easy. It's not comfortable, but that's
00:04:23.400 required. What is required in order for me to get feedback that I need. And in order for a friend
00:04:29.180 to get the feedback he needs to be able to support me in a way that I would like to be supported guys,
00:04:35.100 sometimes life is hard. Sometimes you have an idea and sometimes you just want to talk with somebody.
00:04:41.340 And I know I even cringe a little bit when I hear myself say that because we're supposed to quote
00:04:46.280 unquote, supposed to do it alone. Or we're supposed to be tough enough, or we're supposed to already have
00:04:52.160 all the information in order to accomplish our objectives. None of that is true. We aren't
00:04:57.160 supposed to have anything. We aren't supposed to do this alone. And having a sounding board of men in
00:05:01.980 your corner is a valuable resource. Number two is you need some accountability. Now there are two
00:05:07.520 levels of accountability. The first level, and I would suggest is the lower tier is accountability to
00:05:12.780 other people. Maybe you share an idea or share a goal that you have with somebody who's qualified
00:05:18.040 and credible to hear that from you. And they check in on you. Are you doing what you need to do?
00:05:24.160 Are you still on the path? Are you achieving your goals? Are you doing your daily tasks?
00:05:28.280 You need that. That is a tier of accountability that is crucial. There's another tier and it's
00:05:33.960 important. And I think it's a higher tier, but that's accountability to yourself. It's doing the
00:05:38.180 things that you said you were going to do simply because you said you're going to do them.
00:05:41.380 That's what we would call integrity or being a man of your word. But let's not overlook the
00:05:47.720 importance of accountability to other people. Sometimes we as men balk at that. Oh, I can't
00:05:52.700 believe you need some system or some accountability or some other person to hold you accountable to do
00:05:57.780 the thing. Why would we think less of that for ourselves if we have a tool in place to be able
00:06:04.720 to make sure that we're maintaining the status quo or the goals that we have for ourselves?
00:06:11.400 A carpenter doesn't mock himself because he's using all of the tools available. A mechanic
00:06:16.640 doesn't make fun of himself for using power or whatever other tools he needs to be able to
00:06:21.240 complete the task or the project. Somebody like myself who does most of their work online doesn't
00:06:26.300 mock himself because he uses internet and social media as tools to accomplish an objective because
00:06:33.060 we don't need to look down on ourselves for having other people in our lives that are going to hold
00:06:38.220 you accountable to what you say you want to do. It's just a tool. It's not the only and it's not
00:06:45.100 the only available mechanism for accomplishing your goals, but having another man in your life who is
00:06:50.560 credible, qualified, and truly cares about you, who's willing to take you to task, who's willing to
00:06:56.880 hold your feet to the fire is invaluable. Not always comfortable. I've had a lot of people in my life
00:07:02.920 call me out on certain things and behaviors that I know I shouldn't be doing, but because it came
00:07:08.540 from them, people I know who care about me and have the right intent for me, it helps me get the
00:07:14.060 kick in the pants that I need from time to time to get back on track. Now, number three is we're
00:07:19.000 looking for now opportunities. There is no opportunity in life, no success that you've ever
00:07:24.660 had or enjoyed, but did not come because you had somebody who presented that opportunity. Everything
00:07:31.840 good in life happens with other people. Every business opportunity, every relationship, every new
00:07:38.300 idea came because somebody else was involved. I've had so many business opportunities. I've had so many
00:07:46.040 opportunities for hunts and other activities that I've been able to participate in because
00:07:51.560 I'm introduced to somebody who has made that happen. It's the old adage. It's not what you know,
00:07:58.540 it's who you know. Our opportunities are abundant when we learn to go out and develop relationships with
00:08:05.400 high caliber men. If you want new business, you want new business opportunities, you want to get into
00:08:10.720 business partnerships, you want to create new relationships, maybe even opportunities for
00:08:16.240 hunts and other activities that you want to do as hobbies, then it's going to come because somebody
00:08:21.820 else is in your life and you're only giving yourself more opportunity when you open up your resources and
00:08:28.300 your network to other high caliber men. Do not overlook the power of having good men in your corner to create
00:08:36.320 personal and professional opportunities that would not be presented to you in any other way.
00:08:42.660 And guys, the last thing that's so important is just friendship and fellowship. Life is hard.
00:08:48.820 You know, you have setbacks, you have failures, you have bankruptcies and lawsuits and job losses and
00:08:54.800 breakdowns of relationships and marriages and illness and all sorts of things that we deal with
00:09:02.260 on a daily basis as men. Yes, we need sounding boards. Yes, we need accountability. Yes, we need
00:09:08.200 opportunities. But at the end of the day, having somebody who's just going to be a friend, who's
00:09:12.920 going to communicate and talk with you, who's going to care about you, who's going to stand by you,
00:09:16.620 who's going to support you, who's going to have your back when things aren't going well is exactly
00:09:21.900 what we need. Again, I opened up by talking about the loneliness epidemic that men are dealing with
00:09:28.000 and it's leading to anxiety and depression and even suicide. Having friendships, people that you
00:09:33.840 can laugh and joke and play with, people you can go on hunts with, people you can do business with
00:09:37.980 is going to pay huge dividends if you're willing to drop the ego, let it down and let other people
00:09:44.840 into your life. So those are the four main reasons why every single man needs another man in his corner.
00:09:51.040 Again, it's a sounding board, it's accountability, it's opportunities, and then it's friendship and
00:09:58.160 fellowship. Now let's talk about two key components that you want to make sure you have in these
00:10:04.020 friendships because there's a lot of different ways to do this. There's a lot of different ways to
00:10:07.700 meet people, to connect with men, obviously digitally through your social media channels.
00:10:13.680 You can meet in social institutions and connections like church, for example, or through hunting or some
00:10:20.740 other charitable nonprofit. There's a lot of different ways to meet these guys. Maybe it's
00:10:25.360 just your neighbor. Maybe it's a colleague or a coworker. Maybe it's a member of your church
00:10:29.460 congregation. But what are you looking for in these men? Because it's easy to meet guys. It's not so easy
00:10:36.320 to find the high caliber ones that you need in your life to create the four opportunities that I shared
00:10:41.880 with you earlier. Well, number one is you need quality. You have to have quality. Your neighbor,
00:10:47.660 by default, that's probably not the best type of relationship that you could build.
00:10:52.480 Now, could it be? Sure. But we want to make sure that when we're having guys that we're trying to
00:10:57.820 connect with, that they're actually credible. That they're high quality, high caliber men who are on
00:11:03.520 similar paths to you and can actually help you with their own expertise and insight into what you
00:11:09.060 should be doing as a man, whether that's personally or professionally. If you're trying to build your
00:11:13.540 relationship, clearly you're not going to be wanting to talk with somebody who doesn't value
00:11:18.820 relationships or is cheating on his wife. That doesn't make sense. If you want to get into good
00:11:25.340 physical shape, clearly having somebody who's severely obese next to you, holding you accountable,
00:11:31.680 probably not going to produce the most favorable results. What you want to do is you want to figure
00:11:36.760 out exactly what it is you're looking for. Is it financial abundance? Is it relationship advice?
00:11:42.920 Is it physical fitness? Is it starting a business? And then you want to find other men 0.92
00:11:48.500 who are achieving results in those areas because you know, by default, if they're achieving results
00:11:55.300 in that specific area you're looking for, then they probably know something that you don't,
00:11:59.960 or at least they're applying something that you currently aren't. So you can go to conferences,
00:12:05.160 you can sign up for email newsletters, you can listen to podcasts, you can read books,
00:12:10.860 you can join our iron council, which is something I talked about earlier, where you've got over a
00:12:16.360 thousand guys all working together to accomplish these things. There's fitness trainers, there's
00:12:21.820 financial professionals, there's relationship experts embedded into the iron council. So you can
00:12:27.300 lean on these guys in order to achieve your desired result. So again, we're looking for high quality
00:12:34.060 individuals. And the best way to do that is to access and go where those high quality individuals
00:12:39.240 are. If you're going to do this on your own and you want to get in financial shape, the best place
00:12:44.180 to do that is go to the gym and look for the biggest, strongest guy you can find and say, Hey man,
00:12:49.420 real quick. I know you're busy. You're doing your workout. I'm just getting started.
00:12:52.800 And I'm really trying to burn fat. Do you have any tips that I could use?
00:12:58.220 That man is going to share some of his tips if you do it that way. But again, you're looking for
00:13:03.180 high quality, credible people in specific avenues and, and ventures that you're interested in
00:13:09.000 participating on. And then the only other thing that I wanted to share with you with regards to
00:13:13.260 what to look for in a guy is making sure that you have systems. All right. If you have a neighbor
00:13:18.120 and your cordial and your friendship is, is there, but there's no real system for accountability.
00:13:23.760 He's not really interested in improving and developing in his life the way that you are
00:13:27.760 sure. Be friends with that person, but that's not really what I would call your band of brothers.
00:13:33.420 This goes deeper than just being cordial or friendly to each other. There's real purpose
00:13:38.420 and meaning behind what we're doing. If you want to get with a group of guys and go play basketball
00:13:43.880 every Wednesday night, there's purpose and there's meaning to that. There's an agenda.
00:13:49.260 If there's people that you meet with a clergy, for example, or members of your church congregation,
00:13:54.100 and you want to get together every Thursday morning at 6am and do a Bible study, then there's
00:13:59.680 purpose. There's meaning. There's reason. There's logic. There's a system behind that. And that's what
00:14:05.880 we're looking for. A system. If you're doing it on your own, you're going to have to create that
00:14:10.300 system by yourself, but it can't be by default. There needs to be very intentional, deliberate
00:14:16.140 acts in order to build up your band of brothers. Again, that could be a weekly activity, whether
00:14:21.960 it's something physically related or spiritually related or a book club. But at the end of the
00:14:28.180 day, you have to have purpose and meaning and reason behind it. And there has to be a structure
00:14:32.960 inside of a systematic approach to building these friendships. Otherwise, if you don't do it that
00:14:38.440 way, you can still build friendships, but that's kind of where it ends is just in a friendly
00:14:43.380 environment. And you're looking for something more than just a friendship. You're looking
00:14:47.240 for a band of brothers. Again, I'd be remiss if I didn't tell you that we have these systems
00:14:52.220 and structures inside of the iron council, and I'm not going to beat a dead horse. I would
00:14:56.580 love to see you inside because we have these systems in place and everybody is there for a
00:15:00.480 clear reason. And there's tools that we have built that will help you have the systems
00:15:05.060 that you need. Guys, at the end of the day, whether it's with the iron council or going
00:15:10.000 to another program or meeting with guys, a church congregation or finding guys in your
00:15:15.280 community and centering it around some sort of shared hobby, you have to have other men 0.92
00:15:20.420 in your corner. I want you to have that. I wish every man had that. And you can, if you're
00:15:25.420 deliberate and intentional and clear about what you're trying to accomplish and you're consistent
00:15:29.840 and making that a reality. So join groups, join chapters, go on hunts, participate in
00:15:36.140 hobbies, go to the gym, be involved with nonprofit organizations and find other high caliber men
00:15:42.500 that are going to be a sounding board for you, that are going to help hold you accountable,
00:15:47.200 that are going to provide opportunities that haven't previously been there, and that are going
00:15:50.880 to be in friendship and fellowship with you. Again, as a last call and reminder, our iron
00:15:56.660 council does close the end of this month, March, 2024. I'd love to see you inside. You can check
00:16:02.200 that out at order of man.com slash iron council. Again, that's order of man.com slash iron council
00:16:07.840 guys. That's all I've got. We'll be back next week for a great interview until then go out there,
00:16:13.080 take action, build your band of brothers and become the man you are meant to be.
00:16:18.520 Thank you for listening to the order of man podcast. You're ready to take charge of your life
00:16:23.160 and be more of the man you were meant to be. We invite you to join the order at order of man.com.