Order of Man - Men： Masters of Disguise ｜ FRIDAY FIELD NOTES

00:00:00.000 And to overcome this master of disguise where we just walk around saying, I'm fine, I'm

00:00:04.440 fine, I'm good.

00:00:05.840 Like we just walk around like these empty vessels of who we could otherwise be is to

00:00:10.160 set healthy goals.

00:00:11.820 You know, obviously we're coming up on the new year, 2025.

00:00:15.320 I know that's a great time of the year to start thinking about and refocusing on goals

00:00:20.760 and objectives.

00:00:21.320 And there's one tactic that I've employed for the past 11 years, 10, 11 years now.

00:00:27.180 And that is, I set my goals in 90 day increments.

00:00:32.980 You're a man of action.

00:00:34.640 You live life to the fullest, embrace your fears and boldly chart your own path.

00:00:39.040 When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time.

00:00:42.400 Every time you are not easily deterred, defeated, rugged, resilient, strong.

00:00:48.560 This is your life.

00:00:49.640 This is who you are.

00:00:51.040 This is who you will become at the end of the day.

00:00:53.660 And after all is said and done, you can call yourself a man.

00:01:00.080 I don't know what it is this time of year, but it seems like more than throughout the

00:01:04.720 rest of the year, men are really struggling with their mental and emotional health.

00:01:09.240 I titled this podcast and conversation today, man, a master of disguise, because even though

00:01:15.040 so many men are really struggling in their lives, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, they're

00:01:22.240 down, they're depressed, they're anxious, potentially even suicidal, men are very, very good at hiding

00:01:29.120 it.

00:01:29.840 And because we're good at hiding it, we don't get the help and the support that we could

00:01:33.460 otherwise have.

00:01:34.780 Part of the reason we don't get that support is because we believe that if we do get the

00:01:40.180 help that we need, and I'll talk a little bit about what those concepts are, that will

00:01:44.880 be perceived as weak or inferior or incapable.

00:01:50.040 And it says something, at least from our perception, about our capabilities and who we are as men.

00:01:57.120 But I've never really found that to be a compelling case.

00:02:01.200 Anytime that we are weak in an area, it's never a problem to go shore that area.

00:02:09.740 So, for example, if you are not as healthy as you could otherwise be, nobody would ever

00:02:15.380 criticize you or mock you for going to the gym and trying to get in shape.

00:02:19.940 That's doing the help and the work that you need.

00:02:22.160 If you're deficient in some skill set at work and you want to advance in your career and

00:02:27.380 you invest time and money and energy into developing that skill set further, you would not consider

00:02:33.880 yourself weak or a failure or incapable.

00:02:38.240 In fact, if anything, you would think the opposite.

00:02:41.620 Well, the same is true about our mental health.

00:02:44.580 These are challenges that all of us deal with.

00:02:46.940 We deal with death of loved ones, loss of a job, health challenges, breakdowns in relationships,

00:02:57.560 lawsuits, bankruptcies, financial burdens.

00:03:01.320 Like, it happens.

00:03:02.940 And we can do everything that we can to not have to put ourselves in those situations or at

00:03:07.840 least to some degree lower the likelihood that we will, but it does happen.

00:03:13.180 And we as men need to be able to address those things from an emotional and a mental perspective

00:03:19.980 when they come up.

00:03:21.320 And the first step to doing this is to stop hiding, stop being in a disguise.

00:03:27.380 Now, there is a time and a place where you can't break down and have a sob story and wallow in

00:03:35.300 your own self-pity and throw yourself a pity party and all of those things.

00:03:39.520 Of course, there's a time and a place, but there's also an appropriate time and an appropriate

00:03:44.960 way to deal with what you are actually confronted with.

00:03:49.140 Again, those examples that I may have given you earlier.

00:03:51.620 So we have to put away the disguise.

00:03:54.800 And then also, I would suggest that even though you may not feel like you're in that position

00:03:59.880 right now, I can guarantee you with 100% certainty that there's a man in your circle and in your

00:04:06.200 life who is disguising right now.

00:04:09.660 He's hiding behind false bravado.

00:04:11.980 He's hiding behind his desire to look capable, to have everything together.

00:04:20.420 And you'll hear this in a man's voice when he says, I'm fine, or things are okay, or things are good.

00:04:26.560 But if you look for subtle clues, like a change in behavior typically, if he's usually excited and happy

00:04:33.680 and outgoing, but you've noticed over a period of time that that seems to be dwindling.

00:04:37.560 Or maybe he was very active in a group text, and all of a sudden, he's not participating anymore.

00:04:46.040 If you're noticing things that are off, don't let those things go unsaid.

00:04:50.960 Make sure if you are really a friend or a father or a brother or a colleague, a co-worker,

00:04:58.900 when you start to notice these trends in other men, you acknowledge it, you ask them about it,

00:05:04.240 and also, you push just a little to try to get to the bottom of it.

00:05:09.120 Now, ultimately, they can decide whether or not they want to share, but if you are the

00:05:13.320 kind of guy who has created an environment where he can share with you, free of judgment

00:05:18.140 and critique, then I think that man will be more prone to open up.

00:05:22.320 And sometimes, that's really all a man needs.

00:05:25.560 I've known people who have taken their own lives, and in that moment, I can't help but think,

00:05:30.300 man, why didn't that person just reach out?

00:05:33.680 And looking at it now, the reason that person might not have reached out is because, frankly,

00:05:38.680 they weren't in the mental and emotional headspace to do that.

00:05:43.400 So my second thought tends to gravitate towards, why didn't I reach out?

00:05:49.140 Why wasn't I aware of what that person was dealing with?

00:05:52.440 Or if I was aware, why didn't I bring anything up?

00:05:56.620 And another person's life is not our responsibility necessarily, but if that person is somebody

00:06:02.680 that you care about, then you can take some of the responsibility to reach out to connect

00:06:06.860 and see if they're doing okay.

00:06:08.700 Now, what I want to share with you are six things that you can do personally to drop the

00:06:15.100 disguise, drop the ego, drop the bravado, again, when appropriate, so that you can actually

00:06:21.380 address the mental toils and stressors and challenges and insecurities that you are dealing

00:06:30.820 with as a man, not because you're weak, but because you want to make yourself the best capable

00:06:35.820 man. So you have happiness, fulfillment, enjoyment, purpose, so that you can serve the people that

00:06:42.880 you love the best, your wife, your kids, your clients, people in your community. You can't do that

00:06:48.620 unless you're taking care of yourself. It's easy to go to the gym and look the part, but unless you're

00:06:56.980 really addressing the spiritual, mental, and emotional component of your life, you're leaving

00:07:00.620 a lot of room on the table that could otherwise serve you and the people that you care about.

00:07:04.820 So let's break this down. Number one, first things, and first and foremost, is just building

00:07:09.700 the kind of friendships that support you. Now, there's going to be a lot of different types

00:07:14.400 of people that come into your life. Romantic interests, friends, people that you work

00:07:19.940 with, family member that you are born into. There's a lot of different people in your life

00:07:25.720 and everybody has a place, I think. Well, I shouldn't say everybody, but the people you're choosing

00:07:31.960 to have in your life, they have a place and not all of those are going to be appropriate

00:07:37.000 at all times. A great example of that is the somewhat polarizing subject of communicating

00:07:45.340 all of your problems with your wife. Now, on one side of the table, there's people who say,

00:07:50.740 oh, that's my best friend and I need to tell her everything. And I understand that argument.

00:07:55.460 The other side says, well, no, it's not my responsibility to dump my baggage on her.

00:08:00.960 I think the answer lies somewhere in the middle on that. But what I will say is that your wife

00:08:08.500 is not going to fully comprehend or understand what it is you might be going through as a man.

00:08:14.220 And that's not to be an indictment on her. It's just that she doesn't realize everything that could

00:08:20.780 potentially be going on with you. There's a lot of expectations to take care of the family,

00:08:26.220 provide for the family, do it with a smile on your face, put your head down,

00:08:30.760 nose to the grindstone type stuff. And a lot of the times we don't share those burdens with other

00:08:35.880 people, probably because we're not real sure if they would even understand what those are.

00:08:41.480 And so I think there is a place and a time for being honest with your wife about what you are

00:08:48.220 struggling with, but it can be different with men. We can talk to each other differently.

00:08:53.380 A lot of times we're a little bit more harsh with each other. Hopefully that's coming from a loving

00:08:57.640 position, a place of care. But also there's just a level of understanding. And if you bring up an

00:09:04.980 issue about a relationship issue, for example, or a performance issue at work, most other guys are

00:09:14.340 going to understand exactly what you're going through because they've either gone through it

00:09:18.320 themselves or they're in the midst of it themselves. So it is crucial that we build up those kind of

00:09:24.700 friendships. And the first thing I would tell you to do is to start to look in your circle now and

00:09:29.140 ask yourself, who are the people that I want to get closer to, that I want to build a better

00:09:33.740 relationship with. There's probably three or four that I can think of right now personally, that I

00:09:39.700 would love to build and foster a deeper, more connected group of friends and spend more time with

00:09:46.360 these guys. So you can find them in your current circle. The next thing that you can do is go where

00:09:52.120 these men are. Business meetings, the gym, you know, invite friends to bring friends. So you start

00:09:58.860 to connect and widen out your reach and your influence as a man. You're going to start meeting

00:10:05.640 really cool people who you're going to form a relationship with. The gym, jujitsu, other

00:10:12.640 activities and hobbies that you have a desire to engage in. We'll talk a little bit more about that

00:10:16.960 shortly. And then the third is you could always go to conferences and events, join programs and

00:10:26.660 courses or brotherhoods or masterminds. We have one's called the Iron Council. It's opening up here

00:10:32.780 in two days. And that's a great way for you to build friendships with guys that you never would have been

00:10:39.540 able to do. And a lot of those guys are already qualified. At least they're qualified to the point

00:10:44.440 that they're interested in building a better life for themselves and getting some accountability from

00:10:49.680 other men in doing it. And so that's a pretty good qualifier. And what's beautiful about what

00:10:54.440 we're doing there is these guys are getting together face-to-face and they're doing meetups and

00:11:01.560 they're meeting up for breakfast and they're going on hikes and they're going on, you know,

00:11:07.160 camping adventures. It's pretty cool to see what these guys are creating all because there was a place

00:11:12.000 that qualified, again, men to some degree that they had a desire to excel and be part of a

00:11:17.940 brotherhood. You can check it out, orderaman.com slash ironcouncil. That's one avenue of an infinite

00:11:24.120 number of ways to connect with other men. But the second point that I wanted to make is that you

00:11:28.540 actually have to be the kind of person that you need in your friend circle. It's a give and take

00:11:34.980 relationship. All relationships are hopefully reciprocal in some way. And so if you want other

00:11:42.760 people to step up and be part of your board of advisors, people that you can bounce ideas off of

00:11:49.340 and share your struggles and get insight from, then you try to be that for somebody else. It's not

00:11:56.520 enough just to say, I need a relationship with other guys so that if I need something, I have somewhere

00:12:01.120 to turn. There's nothing wrong with that. But if that's the only reason, you're going to have a

00:12:06.640 harder time doing that than if you spend time focusing on being the kind of person you need in

00:12:12.840 your life. When you do this, it's interesting because if you're feeling cautious about opening up

00:12:20.460 and building a powerful relationship with other men, it's safe to say that other people are feeling

00:12:25.600 that way. So when you go first as leaders do, in a way, even if it's subconscious, you are giving

00:12:34.100 other people permission to do the same. And when they start to open up and start to share, encourage

00:12:40.920 that, foster that growth and that commitment and that desire to build a tight-knit, solid group of men,

00:12:48.700 not just golfing buddies. Nothing wrong with golfing buddies. But in this case, I'm talking about ways

00:12:53.960 that we can go even deeper, be that kind of man first. And how do you do that? Well, you have to

00:12:58.280 be open and honest about what you're feeling so that other people know they can give you feedback.

00:13:06.140 And I actually think it's courageous to share what you're experiencing. Now we don't have to share

00:13:12.340 everything. And I'm not just telling you to be a completely open book and just regurgitate everything

00:13:18.500 that, you know, you happen to be thinking about and just dump it on somebody's lap, especially when

00:13:22.860 it's not the time or place. But I am saying that if it's appropriate, be honest. If somebody is

00:13:29.800 genuinely asking you, hey, man, how are you doing? Be a little bit courageous and tell them, hey, you

00:13:36.820 know, I'm not doing so well right now, actually. You know, my mom passed away two years ago today and

00:13:43.840 it's been hard. Or, you know, one of my kids is really struggling. They just graduated high school

00:13:50.820 and they're out in college and they don't know what they're doing. And I see them going down the

00:13:53.960 wrong path and I'm struggling with it. Or work isn't as productive as it's been in the past.

00:13:59.640 You know, it was good a couple of years ago and then COVID hit and the economy and just work's never

00:14:07.120 been the same. And I'm trying to figure out how to get back on top of it. Be honest. Now, I think you

00:14:12.640 can tell when somebody is just being friendly, like, hey, how you doing? And in that case, it's I'm doing

00:14:17.740 good. How about you? Fine. No problem. But if somebody is genuinely asking, hey, how are you?

00:14:24.320 That's a good opportunity to be honest with that person. And look, I know I get it. A lot of guys

00:14:29.460 are like, well, I don't trust people. And I've had trust people. I've had people let me down. I mean,

00:14:33.900 welcome to life. You are going to be let down and you're going to let other people down. But we're not

00:14:38.840 talking about brain surgery here. And we're not talking about catastrophic consequences. If you tell

00:14:45.020 people you're having a bad day, but like, what is the worst case scenario? They're not interested

00:14:50.660 or they brush you off or blow you off. It's really not that big of a deal unless you make it a big

00:14:57.680 deal. So you can be trusting because you decide to trust. It's not this it can be, but it's not

00:15:07.040 exclusively this internal thing where somebody has built up this level of trust and it's just happened

00:15:12.640 over time. Sure. But also you have to be trusting. You have to make the decision to trust that other

00:15:24.100 people will handle what you're sharing with some class and some grace. Now, if they prove they can't

00:15:30.740 do that, then you wouldn't go any further. But again, we're not talking about deep, dark secrets that

00:15:36.720 could potentially get you in trouble or, you know, your wildest thoughts and dreams. Like,

00:15:43.000 obviously you're going to use some discretion in what you share, but you can be open and honest.

00:15:46.880 And I've also found too, this has helped me because even this morning I was talking with some of the

00:15:53.140 guys in the iron council and we're on a team ourselves and I hold them accountable. They hold

00:15:58.220 me accountable. And we were talking about our plans coming up into 2025 and everybody went and,

00:16:04.200 you know, it's kind of my turn and I'm thinking to myself, man, I do this for a living. And I was

00:16:09.780 still thinking, man, I don't know if, I don't know if I want to share these things, but I did.

00:16:16.800 And what helped me in that moment and has helped me in the past is by asking questions. We get so

00:16:22.820 wrapped up in how we're looking, how we'll be perceived, you know, what will people think of us,

00:16:30.080 that sort of thing. When instead you can drop all of that by just asking questions. So if you're

00:16:34.900 struggling with a business venture, let's say a very simple question is asking them, Hey, I'm in the

00:16:42.000 midst of this business venture. Uh, I'm, I'm struggling with a couple little things here and

00:16:46.760 there. I'm curious, have you ever found yourself in this position? The difference between that and

00:16:53.160 complaining is that now it's directional. A lot of guys won't share what's on their mind because

00:17:00.380 they don't want to complain. There's sometimes there's no value in complaining, right? We've,

00:17:05.240 we've all heard that. It's just whining. Nobody's interested in it. And I'm not interested in whining

00:17:09.480 to other people. But when you ask questions, you are suggesting that you have a problem. You wouldn't

00:17:16.100 ask the question if you didn't have a problem, but you're not focusing on the problem. You're focused

00:17:21.500 on the solution. You're being solution oriented and men are solution oriented. We are constantly,

00:17:28.220 whether it's conscious or subconsciously looking for problems in society, in culture, in the way

00:17:35.580 the office culture is in a project that we've been tasked with in a relationship, or if your wife or

00:17:42.760 girlfriend had a bad day, like you're trying to, we're always looking for problems. Now it doesn't

00:17:49.560 always do us well if we're trying to solve every problem that we're presented with. But if you have

00:17:57.260 a problem, instead of whining about it, you can be open and honest with the people who are closest to

00:18:02.760 you because they might have a solution. And guess what? If you feel valuable when you provide

00:18:09.680 solutions to other people, then what you're doing by asking other people, qualified people,

00:18:17.800 I should say, the questions that you're struggling with, you're providing them with an opportunity to

00:18:22.820 serve you. So don't think that you're only extracting from the relationship when you ask somebody a really

00:18:31.360 good question. You're actually giving them a gift, an opportunity to be valuable, but you have to go

00:18:38.220 first and being open and honest. And instead of whining about things, asking questions. So it's not,

00:18:43.160 yeah, my wife and I, oh, it's so hard right now. We're having such a problem. No, it's my wife and

00:18:48.720 I have been having, you know, some problems with our communication. Like, have you ever been in that

00:18:54.440 situation? And what did you do? See the difference? You're addressing the problem, but you're not doing

00:19:00.100 it from a place of complaining. You're doing it from a place of trying to solve the problem.

00:19:05.360 Number four, get healthy and get fit. I know every time I do a list on Friday, it's always something

00:19:11.740 about being healthy and being fit. And I've been on both sides of the equation where I've been

00:19:17.680 out of shape and lazy and a little pathetic, if I'm being honest. And I've been on the other side 0.82

00:19:22.620 of the equation where I've got everything dialed in, locked down, strong, building strength and doing

00:19:28.740 good in that department. And I can tell you, even though it does take sacrifice to eat the right things,

00:19:35.320 to go to the gym every day, to move your body, to get the sleep, to get the water, all the things that

00:19:40.100 you need to do, I can tell you, and I think you know this, that life is just better when you're

00:19:46.480 more fit. From a physical standpoint, you look better, but also you have more energy, you have

00:19:55.760 more focus, you have more clarity, you have more determination, you have more strength to handle

00:19:59.920 the physical aspects of life. But we're not really talking so much about the physical side today,

00:20:05.620 but on the emotional and mental side, when you're fit, that's a level of confidence that you can't

00:20:12.340 manufacture. It's there because you know you want to battle today by going to the gym or by losing 20

00:20:19.100 pounds or by not eating the cheeseburger that you really wanted and you went with the chicken breast

00:20:23.880 and vegetables instead. When you start winning those little battles and they compound over time and then

00:20:29.620 you look in the mirror and you look a little slimmer or you got to punch a new hole in your belt

00:20:35.520 because you need to tighten up your belt since you've lost two to four to six inches around your

00:20:41.080 midsection. Those are good feelings and outside of the physical benefits of it, the mental and the

00:20:47.620 emotional benefits of being healthy and in shape cannot be overstated. It is hugely, hugely important

00:20:56.080 and if that's enough to get you out of bed because you're have this internal struggle of not going in,

00:21:01.380 then that that's enough and that hopefully that does it for you. But I'm telling you, the benefits

00:21:07.100 of it outweigh the cost, that's for sure. I said it was a sacrifice earlier and I said this to

00:21:12.260 a friend of mine. I said, oh, it's a sacrifice. He said, no, it's not a sacrifice. It's an investment.

00:21:19.380 It's an investment in yourself when you get up and you go to the gym or it's an investment in yourself

00:21:23.060 when you eat the proper food and delay gratification on the other stuff. It's an investment, not a

00:21:28.320 sacrifice. And I like that distinction. Number, let's see, that was four. So number five, engage in

00:21:35.300 hobbies that uplift and challenge you. I threw challenge in at the end as I was writing notes

00:21:40.060 and thinking about what I wanted to talk with you about because I think for most men, it's not enough

00:21:44.720 just to have fun or to be happy. Those have never really been goals of mine. Now I know I'm a

00:21:52.360 serious person, so there's other people who probably have those goals. And I'm not saying

00:21:57.200 I don't want to have fun or I don't want to be happy, but that really isn't the ultimate

00:22:01.760 driver of the decisions that I'm making. Instead, I like to be challenged. I like to be pushed.

00:22:09.560 John Eldridge in his book, Wild at Heart, talks about the question that every man is answering,

00:22:13.740 which is, do I have what it takes? So if I go on a hike, I want to know I have what it takes.

00:22:20.480 And so I'm going to train for that to the best that I can. And the hikes that I have not trained

00:22:24.040 for don't go well. And so the answer, do I have what it takes is in some cases, no.

00:22:30.180 Or if I'm trying to learn a new martial art or go to the gym or learn firearms or learning how to

00:22:36.580 paint or pick your poison, whatever it is, I want it to be challenging. And I also want it to be

00:22:43.500 meaningful. I think a lot of the times we will often do what the people in our lives do because of

00:22:49.600 proximity and convenience, or maybe even will look online to guys like me or somebody like Jocko or

00:22:58.540 Cam Haynes or David Goggins, any of these other people that I know that you guys listen to. And I

00:23:04.800 do as well. And it's tempting at times to do exactly what they do because you see this person has a good

00:23:11.280 life. They're succeeding, they're thriving, but I'm telling you, and I think I talked about this in

00:23:15.660 the Iron Council the other day. If your ladder is up against the wrong wall, not only are you wasting

00:23:24.300 your time, but you're not going to be satisfied and happy on that journey. You might even be

00:23:32.400 miserable. And you can know it if you're saying, oh, you know, I don't want to do this, but I have

00:23:37.480 to do this. And yes, some things have to be done that you don't want to. But if you're not into

00:23:42.460 jujitsu, don't do jujitsu. If you're not into hunting, don't do hunting. Now I would say we

00:23:49.200 should all as men try those things and pursue that. If you find something that's meaningful

00:23:54.540 and significant, then keep pursuing it. But don't put your ladder on my wall. You don't need to climb

00:24:01.920 my tower. Find your own tower and climb that wall because then it won't feel like work. It won't be

00:24:08.720 stressful for you. It'll be hard, but it'll have purpose. And so even in the times that are hard,

00:24:14.360 you'll continue to do it. When I was at the gym this morning, I was doing squats. And I think I was,

00:24:21.120 I think I did four sets of eight and I got to the fourth set and I got to six, five, six on my reps.

00:24:31.100 And I remember thinking to myself, this is heavy. This is getting heavy. I was tempted to put it

00:24:38.020 away. I was tempted to rack the weight. It was heavy. My legs were burning. It was hard.

00:24:46.460 But instead of racking the weight, I decided, you know, no, I'm not going to rack the weight. I'm

00:24:49.640 going to finish my, my rep scheme and I'm going to get this done because this is important. And the

00:24:54.640 fact that it hurts and there, but there's meaning to it is the point. It is the point that it hurts.

00:25:01.560 It is the point that it's uncomfortable. If it wasn't uncomfortable, in many cases, it just wouldn't

00:25:06.420 be worth doing. So engage in hobbies that yes, uplift you, but also challenge you in a meaningful

00:25:14.860 purpose-driven way. And then the last point that I have right here, again, to overcome this master of

00:25:20.640 disguise where we just walk around saying, I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm good. I don't need anything.

00:25:25.420 I'm happy. Things are good. I'm busy. Like we just walk around like these empty vessels of who we could

00:25:31.520 otherwise be is to set healthy goals. You know, obviously we're coming up on the new year, 2025.

00:25:37.940 I know that's a great time of the year to start thinking about and refocusing on goals and objectives

00:25:44.260 and things that you want to accomplish and things that you want to do in life. And that's great.

00:25:49.240 Like, I don't think you need to wait till the new year to do it, but if that's the catalyst that

00:25:53.820 propels you forward, then by all means use new year's resolutions as a way to do it,

00:25:58.640 but find some healthy goals. And we've all heard smart goals, specific, measurable, achievable,

00:26:08.060 realistic, you know, all those sorts of things. We've all heard that, but there's one tactic that

00:26:13.720 I've employed for the past 11 years, 10, 11 years now. And that is I set my goals in 90 day increments

00:26:22.620 one quarter at a time. Now I have bigger goals that I'm working towards. Um, I have a vision,

00:26:28.940 a greater, bigger way that I want to be in life. Yes, I have that. But when I get tactical,

00:26:34.720 I'm getting very specific, but I'm doing it in 90 day segments. I found that it pushes me to do

00:26:42.380 something that's challenging because I think I can do anything for a week, for example, but can you do

00:26:47.940 it for 12 weeks? So it pushes me into my discomfort zone a little bit more, but it also gives me enough

00:26:55.260 time to move the needle to where I can actually see and experience the results. So if we go back to

00:27:01.400 the gym, for example, if I say, I know this is a silly example, but you'll get the point.

00:27:06.100 If I say, well, you know, I'm going to, um, I'm going to go to the gym and I'm going to lose weight

00:27:11.640 this week. Okay. Like you can do that. Sure. And you might lose two pounds, three pounds, five pounds.

00:27:18.920 If you really hit it hard, you might, but anybody can do that. And I'm not saying it's insignificant.

00:27:25.860 So please don't take it that way. But what if instead of saying, I'm going to work hard this week at the gym,

00:27:30.940 you said, I'm going to work hard at the gym this quarter. I'm going to not do it for a week. I'm

00:27:37.740 going to do it for 12 weeks for 90 days. I'm going to get after it. It's more, it's, it's more

00:27:44.180 significant. Not that the other wasn't, but this is more significant and losing two pounds is

00:27:50.220 insignificant relative to 20 or 25 or 30 pounds that you might lose over a quarter. And it also

00:27:57.440 keeps you focused on something for longer. Same thing with debt. I want to make a $200 payment

00:28:03.280 towards my debt this month. Okay. That's good. Like again, nothing wrong with it. But what if

00:28:09.680 instead of saying that you said, I'm going to pay off $2,000 worth of debt this quarter. And then you

00:28:16.440 got to work on figuring out exactly where that $2,000 for the quarter is going to come from, which debts

00:28:22.520 you're going to pay off and which order and what the priority is communicating with your wife and

00:28:27.240 other people, your friends, and in a level of accountability for that. It's more significant

00:28:33.240 than doing something for a day or a week. I do all of my stuff for 90 day segments and that has seemed

00:28:39.500 to help. So when you're thinking about goal setting this, this year or the end of this year, beginning

00:28:44.440 of next year, think about 90 day segments. And if you want help on that, again, a great resource is

00:28:49.940 the Iron Council. Like I said, we're opening up on Sunday. So a couple of days from now, we're opening

00:28:55.740 up. And not only are you going to build the friendships and the brotherhood and the accountability, but

00:29:00.660 you're also going to have access to our battle planning system. That's our 12 week system that we use

00:29:05.040 that I just shared with you to some degree. And that has helped me create businesses and relationships

00:29:12.360 and financial acumen and building my health and getting strong and fit. And I look back over the

00:29:20.400 past decade. And I think for the times that I was really not doing well in my life were the times when

00:29:28.460 I wasn't following the system. And it's not that the system doesn't work. It's that we don't always

00:29:33.460 work the system, even though we know what we should be doing. So if that's of interest to you, check it

00:29:38.640 out order of man.com slash iron council. But ultimately guys, I want all of us to put down the

00:29:44.280 disguise that we wear when appropriate. You know, sometimes you have to put on that armor.

00:29:50.820 Sometimes you have to put on a facade. You have to put a little bit of a performance in a show on

00:29:55.820 sometimes you need to do that. As a man, your ability to do that oftentimes will determine the

00:30:01.240 success or failure of a relationship or a project or an assignment. But like any warrior,

00:30:07.940 sometimes you have to take the armor off and set it down and rest and recover and train and not be

00:30:16.340 so hardened against everything that is coming your way. I think our ability to balance that as men

00:30:23.140 is probably a greater indicator of our own health than always being this immovable object and figure

00:30:31.200 or conversely, always being a mental midget and falling apart when any little thing happens to us. 0.62

00:30:37.420 It's finding the balance, putting the disguise down, letting people know what's really going on when

00:30:44.040 appropriate, and then applying these six principles. Again, guys, my big ask, I guess I'd say for you,

00:30:49.320 but also hopefully it's a resource for you is the iron council. I'd highly suggest you check it out.

00:30:53.800 We're going to have a lot of people join. This is always the biggest time of year, but we've put

00:30:58.380 systems in place so that we're not throwing you to the wolves and saying, here's a system.

00:31:02.420 I actually just invested in a new, it's like a health program because I was curious about what

00:31:07.680 it was. And I signed up for it, paid the money for it. It wasn't a huge investment, but I was curious

00:31:12.920 and got in there. And there was, I was just bombarded and inundated with information. I'm

00:31:19.620 like, what is this? And there was, it wasn't real organized. And I felt like I just kind of got thrown

00:31:24.960 into the mix and figure it out. And I can, and you can too, if you're motivated enough,

00:31:30.580 but instead we've created a system for onboarding so that when you join, you'll know exactly what to

00:31:36.540 do. You'll be partnered up with other guys. You'll work with other guys. You'll have an opportunity for

00:31:41.440 phone calls and, and, uh, video sessions and chats with us. So we've created a pretty cool system so that

00:31:47.480 there's a, there's a framework for moving along the path and hopefully having you accomplish what you

00:31:52.600 want to accomplish in 2025. So again, check that out. Orderofman.com slash iron council. All right,

00:31:58.200 guys, there you go. We'll be back next week until then go out there, take action, put down,

00:32:04.080 stop being the master of disguise and become a man you are meant to be.

00:32:11.400 Thank you for listening to the order of man podcast. You're ready to take charge of your life

00:32:16.040 and be more of the man you were meant to be. We invite you to join the order at orderofman.com.

00:32:22.600 Thank you.

Order of Man - December 13, 2024

Men： Masters of Disguise ｜ FRIDAY FIELD NOTES

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