Order of Man - Mental Resilience, High Stress, and a Winning Mindset ｜ ASK ME ANYTHING

00:00:00.000 enlist other people who are already doing what you want to do you don't need

00:00:04.320 to recreate the way the wheel you don't need to bang your head against the wall

00:00:07.560 you don't need to make a bunch of dumb mistakes it's not a requirement for

00:00:11.460 success and the best way not to pay those payments is to enlist other people

00:00:15.600 that means you have to go to their courses you have to listen to their

00:00:18.400 emails you have to listen to their pot you have to read their books you have to

00:00:21.320 hire them if you can you have to invest in order for them to teach you I promise 0.99

00:00:25.840 you that investment is gonna be significantly less than the stupid tax 0.99

00:00:29.220 or the tuition payment you'll pay if you did not do that 0.99

00:00:33.600 you're a man of action you live life to the fullest embrace your fears and boldly

00:00:39.000 chart your own path when life knocks you down you get back up one more time

00:00:43.320 every time you are not easily deterred defeated rugged resilient strong this is

00:00:50.140 your life this is who you are this is who you will become at the end of the day

00:00:54.840 and after all is said and done you can call yourself a man

00:00:59.220 Kip what's up man great to see you you look uh you look a little different with the blue light

00:01:04.120 there behind you you're up in your video quality game it looks like

00:01:07.220 Jedi that's the first thing I thought when I saw that light I was like yes it's a lightsaber

00:01:13.220 lightsaber we're done here sorry guys I'm gonna stop and ask Kip to leave and actually there's

00:01:22.120 probably a bunch of nerds absolutely nerds I'm sure of it I never really got into it though

00:01:29.060 I really never not even when I was a kid it just it doesn't it's not real competitive doesn't do it

00:01:35.260 for me here's the deal I love I love the storylines the movies are really bad I've read a couple of

00:01:41.080 those books but here's the funny part I enjoy them but people assume that I'm like way nerdier

00:01:50.100 than I am and so for years I'd have family and friends buy me Star Wars stuff and I'm like

00:01:55.020 I don't want this junk you know what I'm saying which is kind of funny because they're like oh but

00:02:00.860 you're such a big fan of Star Wars but I'm like I'm not storing in memorabilia around my house you

00:02:06.340 know so it's it's kind of funny but I I do own a lightsaber like a master replica lightsaber which 0.98

00:02:12.640 is kind of cool with the kids but other than that everything else is junk you're a dork that's for 0.74

00:02:18.040 sure I closet dork I do I do like sci-fi though actually um the alien movies and the alien series 0.98

00:02:27.420 is believe it or not one of my favorite series like I love this um predator is another one alien

00:02:34.480 versus predator I get into I like all that kind of stuff anytime that there's a spaceship that an alien

00:02:43.020 infects or gets out on the space station or in the ship itself I'm a fan of a movie like that

00:02:49.100 aliens is probably in everything in my top at least top 10 maybe top 20 movies aliens is so good

00:02:57.520 yeah so good so scary too man that that scared the crap out of me as a kid and there's a bunch of

00:03:04.160 newer ones like prometheus I think is one and some others that kind of follow the same thread line it's

00:03:09.980 pretty good so let me ask you this a fan of matrix uh yeah I'm not I don't geek I like it it's a

00:03:19.020 good movie it's it's interesting I like that it's interesting I can get behind that have you let

00:03:24.360 your older kids watch that yet uh no I should though I don't is it bad it's not bad is it I mean

00:03:31.880 I mean there's tons of shooting yeah right so Kika for whatever reason something lined up where my 1.00

00:03:38.620 oldest daughter we could go we we had time together and I thought oh I'm gonna red pill my daughter 0.51

00:03:44.760 we're gonna watch the matrix and it was so great because she's 13 we watched this movie and then

00:03:50.520 after the movie's over I look over at her on the couch and she's just like this she's like

00:03:54.380 my mind blown she's like my mind is different is what she said I see the I see things differently

00:04:02.040 I'm like yeah and so she's like what if and I'm like yeah what if or how many things are true that

00:04:10.440 you assume is true but they're really not right and so she's working it I was like oh this is so

00:04:15.360 great this is so great I think what matrix did and they told the line very well on making it something

00:04:23.740 that was believable and something you could follow without trying to get too clever with it because

00:04:29.400 there are some movies that you'll watch where it's so complicated and so sophisticated I don't know

00:04:37.680 what you want to call it that you can't even follow along and you're like what's happening

00:04:41.460 like how does this I don't know it's but matrix did a good job I actually went and saw another movie

00:04:46.980 last week I went to the movie I'm 43 years old went to the movie for the first time by myself the

00:04:54.080 other day yeah and I went and saw gladiator the second one it's actually pretty good is it good I did

00:05:00.300 not yeah I did not have high hopes because I love the first gladiator so I didn't want to

00:05:04.920 mess with that but it's actually pretty good is it a remake what what's the storyline so it follows

00:05:11.600 the same storyline um but the kid I think his name is Lucian or Lucius or Lucian I can't remember

00:05:19.680 the son of the queen that that lived correct got it yeah so I'm not gonna ruin any plots or anything

00:05:27.080 here but he ended up when Commodus was killed by Maximus the kid fleed to Africa and through a

00:05:37.160 series of fateful events he ends up back as a slave as a gladiator in Rome and now there's two

00:05:46.540 brother emperors who are violent and evil and he's the Rome is on the verge uh he's the heir but nobody

00:05:56.040 knows because they don't know it's him he's yeah he's hidden his identity so it's it's pretty good

00:06:01.460 that's fun it's pretty good yeah well we're gonna start doing movie reviews here on the order of man

00:06:06.600 podcast apparently apparently uh do you have any headlines today I actually don't other than Merry

00:06:14.600 Christmas well that's pretty good that is the best headline um I have one the big thing right now is

00:06:21.820 this Luigi what's his name Luigi uh Mangione Mangione or Mangione I don't know how you pronounce

00:06:26.640 his last name yeah the the accused assassination of the CEO right yeah Brian Thompson yeah yeah so he's

00:06:36.000 26 years old he's facing 11 counts in New York he was just extradited in the last day or two back to

00:06:40.940 New York he was I think he was found in Pennsylvania so they extradited him back to New York um some of

00:06:46.720 those counts are you know weapon and forgery charges but he has one in the first degree uh two

00:06:54.100 let's see and two of murder in the second degree and then there's also and I don't see it here I heard

00:06:59.000 this this morning there's a terrorist uh um count as well which I agree with because he's if you think

00:07:08.180 about what the what a terrorist actually means is they're doing something to instill fear into other

00:07:16.020 people so for example if somebody goes into a house and heaven forbid murders a family they're not doing

00:07:21.900 it for a political reason or to instill fear or change the cultural conversation that's taking place

00:07:28.620 but with this guy that's exactly what he was doing it's in his manifesto that was part of his motive

00:07:33.820 is how horrible the health care system is and I'm just disgusted quite frankly with how many people

00:07:42.040 are actually celebrating this this guy and his actions it's cold-blooded murder it's evil people

00:07:49.660 have asked me online as if the answer is anything but disdain and like that you would still be towards

00:07:57.080 a person who would do this that's crazy it just goes to show the gen look it goes

00:08:03.800 to show the general level of degeneracy in our culture and I'm not here to debate with you on

00:08:10.720 whether the health care system needs to change or whether this guy what's his name brian thompson the

00:08:15.340 ceo what was a good guy or a bad guy but if he's following the rules and following the law

00:08:21.020 um and maybe even if he isn't I don't think he's sentenced to death by somebody who feels like

00:08:28.060 he did him wrong uh I don't be stoned by the masses it's not a great way to run a civilized

00:08:34.120 society that uh where we can all operate in safety and build our families and our businesses and

00:08:39.420 everything else so we we ought to be repulsed by this guy and we ought to reject it and anybody says

00:08:44.260 he's a hero or he's you know robin hood you guys can get lost because that is the worst yeah it's the

00:08:51.900 equivalent of stoning these people are cast they're pat they're casting stones you know when

00:09:00.620 they're when you're celebrating a guy that's doing this that's the same type of mentality that would

00:09:05.920 that would have a mob stoning someone you know what I mean because they disagree with them yeah

00:09:11.500 yeah well it depends on what the it depends I mean I don't I don't know if I totally agree with that

00:09:16.380 because it really does depend on the charge like the claim you know if you don't like the way

00:09:23.020 health care is administered in this country then there's channels to deal with that yeah do something

00:09:27.680 about it but if but if somebody breaks into your house and you know sexually assaults your wife or

00:09:35.400 your daughter or tries to murder you in your sleep uh yeah I'm gonna cast some stones yeah but you get

00:09:42.180 what I'm saying like when I think when I think of casting stone it's it's I'm not throwing the stone

00:09:47.060 first but because everyone else is doing it then then I feel justified in it and that's kind of

00:09:52.920 what's happening is is people feel justified in demonizing this ceo and justify justifying this

00:09:59.020 guy's behavior uh from a group perspective well there we go now I'm all riled up and pissed off so

00:10:06.360 let's get to some questions yeah Zach Allen how do you transfer from a mental resistance of the moment

00:10:16.440 to awareness to presence to mindfulness I find myself frustrated thinking where did my fun go

00:10:23.740 ever since Tuesday when I got anxiety meds there has been a shift in consciousness usually I'm energetic

00:10:30.720 my thoughts are entertaining and beautiful interspersed with severe anxiety I feel like there's a force

00:10:37.180 against me saying since I have a way to control anxiety that now my natural energy is going to be dull and

00:10:46.260 boring yeah I mean this is this is a hard question to answer because I don't know the extent of your

00:10:54.020 anxiety and other things that might be taking place as a result of it I'm not here to give you medical

00:10:59.320 advice or tell you or diagnose I don't really actually know but I will say that if you're taking

00:11:03.980 medication to deal with some of that by design it is going to numb you a little bit I mean that is

00:11:10.020 actually the purpose of it in a way it's not even that it's a bug it's kind of a feature so I I don't

00:11:18.040 really know how you balance the the idea of I think you said meaningful or excuse me mental resistance and

00:11:25.540 then mindfulness was the other I don't really understand when I think of balance I think about

00:11:33.060 opposing forces you know if you're trying to balance on a skateboard maybe the hill is trying to push you

00:11:39.360 down and you're leaning back it's an opposing force and so you're trying to find the balance

00:11:43.980 I don't understand where mental resistance and mindfulness are at odds with each other

00:11:49.000 I think you can be mindful of the mental resistance and realize again please take this with a grain

00:11:55.540 of salt because I don't know the extent of what you're dealing with but for other men that I've

00:11:59.840 talked with and for myself sometimes dealing with mental resistance is very very challenging and it's

00:12:08.660 something that we don't as men want to deal with naturally but the mindfulness component for me

00:12:15.760 anyways is knowing that the resistance of life whether it's friction and relationships struggle

00:12:23.040 as you're building a career and getting promoted trying to get fit and lean and strong the the

00:12:30.120 resistance is part of what makes it the right thing to do yeah so when I'm being mindful it's not that

00:12:39.540 the resistance is gone it's just that there's meaning and purpose in the resistance itself if I go to the

00:12:46.440 gym and I'm struggling every single day and I don't see results I don't feel better I don't think it's

00:12:53.400 working then that resistance is going to weigh heavy on me and it's going to create anxiety and it's going

00:12:59.880 to create maybe even a depressed state or even frustration contention anger all these other things that we

00:13:07.500 experience if on the other hand I take the exact same resistance and I realize that okay this isn't always

00:13:16.180 fun I have to get up early I have to spend an hour in the gym I have to do things that are hard I need to push

00:13:21.560 harder than I want to maybe I don't feel good but if I can get over this then I know that I'm going to be a

00:13:29.580 better human being physically I'm going to be better I'm going to have more energy throughout the day I'm going to feel

00:13:34.340 more confident about the way that I look so I actually don't think being mindful of resistance

00:13:40.060 is at odds with the resistance it's yeah they need to go together I hope I gave a coherent answer to a

00:13:48.660 question I didn't quite fully understand yeah well I think you did let me ask you this or let me bring

00:13:55.080 this up if you don't mind Ryan you know towards the end of Zach's question he says I have tried many

00:14:00.860 techniques as I write this I can hear Ryan say go to the gym honestly that's a pretty good idea maybe

00:14:06.380 you guys can just talk about that and and I want to play on that to be frank where where do we have

00:14:13.100 to be mindful of even that right like and and there's some truth in that statement right like go to the gym

00:14:19.500 but I also feel that as men we could use the gym as the medication and no doubt now we're numbing

00:14:28.700 ourselves and not addressing the issue and I'll just keep going to the gym and I'll run and I'll

00:14:33.500 do all these other things but I'm not sitting with it and maybe dealing with something that I need to

00:14:39.900 be dealing with and and so the gym necessarily isn't always the answer do you agree with that and and how

00:14:45.540 do we how do we balance that and and know that we're just not you we're just replacing the drug

00:14:51.680 with jujitsu or the gym or something else yeah so I say go to the gym just because it's easy right

00:14:58.340 and you guys have heard me it's an easy solution or an answer and it covers 90 of people but I've

00:15:05.120 often talked about this there's two types of people when it comes to performance there's analyzers

00:15:11.360 and there's performers and that's it and we're all on the spectrum sometimes we analyze more heavily

00:15:18.020 sometimes we perform sometimes we don't think about it all we just do it that's that's what I do when I

00:15:23.960 say dumb things I don't think about I just say it that's me taking action without really thinking

00:15:29.320 about it but then there's other people who just sit and pontificate and ponder on you know the cosmos 0.85

00:15:34.920 and never really do anything about it and both are wrong so what I would give what advice I would

00:15:41.720 give to the guy who just sits and ponders is I'd say maybe take some action and the guy who's just a

00:15:48.180 loud mouth and always takes action doesn't really think about it like myself maybe think about it before

00:15:52.480 you act or you speak yeah so depending on who you are the answer is different so if you're a gym bro

00:15:58.280 and you're five percent body fat and you're used to spending two to three hours a day in the gym and

00:16:04.660 it doesn't bother you it's not hard you enjoy it and it's easy it comes natural go to the gym is bad

00:16:11.800 advice you're plus you're already doing it what you don't really need to go more what you need to do is

00:16:18.780 you need to get a journal and sit and actually journal your thoughts or call a friend and work

00:16:23.600 through some of your your baggage and I already know guys are like oh that's hard yeah it's supposed

00:16:30.100 to be hard but but when it comes to going to the gym it's not going to the gym it's you have to ask

00:16:35.480 yourself why am I doing this to your point if you're doing it to distract yourself or run away

00:16:41.400 from some difficult circumstance there's actually some value in that I think it's okay to temporarily

00:16:50.120 distract yourself sometimes I'll go for a walk is it bad no it just helps me get into a different

00:16:55.520 environment clear my head so I can come back your tackle the problem yeah and it does clear your head

00:17:00.300 so there is some mental mental fixing that's happening in a lot of cases yeah and not to mention

00:17:06.760 the chemicals that are just optimized and released the endorphins and everything else in your body

00:17:13.240 that are going to actually help you feel better and are proven to help you solve problems so that's

00:17:18.660 why I say that but I think you're right we all have our temptations we all have our sedation methods

00:17:28.700 make sure you're doing it for the right reason yeah Joshua Collins Q1 is a few days away new battle

00:17:37.580 plans are coming out what's something different you have planned for 2025 to push and stretch yourself

00:17:44.820 as compared to 2024 how do you plan to measure this as to whether it is successful or not

00:17:51.600 well the measuring thing is easy we've been talking about it for 10 years we measure everything I use my

00:17:58.280 battle planner and so it's hard sometimes I get questions like well what are you going to do

00:18:02.800 different nothing I'm going to this works follow the same system yeah right it is funny though men 1.00

00:18:09.200 will do that uh we'll find a system that works and we'll do it and we'll become bored yeah then we'll

00:18:16.200 get bored of it this is what football teams do for example they play well all year long on a on a

00:18:23.340 system maybe it's a west coast offense maybe it's a running offense I don't know they play well

00:18:27.440 on a system and then they get to the playoffs and they do the exact opposite like I remember in high

00:18:32.900 school to go back to my glory my former glory glory days yeah the glory days were beat up on south

00:18:39.780 severe every time we played on except for basketball and maybe every other sport yeah no no not even

00:18:49.440 close by the way you guys if you don't know we were we were rivals in high school um yeah my I think

00:18:57.780 it was my June it was either no it might have been my senior year we had uh our quarterback and he got

00:19:04.360 us to the playoffs we get to the playoffs and we put a kid in who's very athletic probably the most

00:19:11.400 athletic kid on the team and he can throw and the coach says let's have him play quarterback

00:19:16.580 what he is I he is one of the most athletic kids on the team he can definitely play the role I'm not

00:19:25.860 saying that yeah but he hasn't played a game at quarterback all season long I don't understand

00:19:31.440 the logic there yeah but this is what we do as men we get bored and we get distracted and we want the

00:19:39.260 bright and shiny object when the reality is do what works forever yeah and the results will come

00:19:47.160 on on the flip side of this and I always have this rant I have this rant every single year around this

00:19:54.020 time because I'm going to be in highly annoyed in two weeks when I go to the gym and it's packed

00:20:01.160 full with a bunch of people that will just quit in a couple months and it bothers me it really

00:20:08.900 bothers me and this is why it bothers me Josh and I know you're not asking this question but everyone

00:20:14.260 else if you do if you didn't identify why you failed last year and your plan is just to start again

00:20:24.180 it's insanity and and companies do this people do this all the time where maybe we'll go oh here's

00:20:34.020 these plays football plays and they're like oh they're not working so we'll make more plays it's

00:20:39.060 like no no why aren't they working why didn't they work do we have the right people are they

00:20:44.320 not athletic enough like are we missing skills but what we'll do is we'll pivot and never identify

00:20:50.440 why did we fail in the first place and and so we'll just repeat and well I'll just try harder and

00:20:57.080 it's like that is not a strategy so so the challenge everybody listen if you don't mind as we go

00:21:03.360 into this next calendar year is whatever you have planned for 2025 in your super ambitious ask

00:21:10.720 yourself could you have done these same things this past year and if the answer is yes then you need

00:21:20.460 to address why didn't you why didn't you do it until you can answer that the probability is that you will

00:21:29.920 fail once again and this year will be no different than than this past year yeah no I think that's

00:21:37.480 good I I when you were saying it bothers you I kind of was going a different direction than you took it

00:21:43.800 and I can see why it's not those people bother you I don't think that's what you're saying

00:21:49.720 it's just they're still my equipment man oh I know that's that can be frustrating for sure I get I get

00:21:57.140 that it can't be frustrating picture it's just yeah it's what they're dealing with yeah because I have

00:22:02.180 I have been this way in the past and I do really try to work consciously on it where I don't need to

00:22:08.500 let what other people are doing or not doing bother me and I don't think that's what you're saying

00:22:13.200 but I've been that way where I've been so judgmental and and I have discernment I I know

00:22:19.160 there's a difference between being discerning and who I spend my time with and how I treat people

00:22:23.320 versus judging them that's not for me to decide but you're dang right I'm going to discern whether

00:22:28.160 this is somebody I want in my life in some capacity but um I've let go I think maybe with my own

00:22:35.520 struggles over the past couple years I've really let go a lot of my expectations that I have of other

00:22:42.760 people and the way that they show up yeah um and and the way they perform and why they do certain

00:22:48.560 things if it's somebody in my circle like my kids for example uh okay sure yes or or you if I see

00:22:58.460 something going on I'm not going to give you unsolicited advice but I'm going to ask you if

00:23:02.280 something's going on totally I might even say hey Kip I see you doing some things and I don't know

00:23:09.080 if it doesn't seem like you is everything okay outside of that you can do whatever you want as

00:23:17.020 long as it doesn't impact me it doesn't hurt me harm me or hurt my people in some way I I wish you

00:23:24.360 would do it differently I you should do it differently but that's not for me to decide you

00:23:28.840 weren't saying that but that's initially that's where I thought you were going yeah yeah yeah I mean

00:23:33.240 I'm being overly dramatic it's just man it just it's unfortunate it's really unfortunate that's

00:23:40.600 true can I give an example of that yeah so one of the things that we do in our battle planning system

00:23:46.960 so is we do an after action review where we're actually evaluating what we did and how we track

00:23:53.380 it and how we perform and how we show up and I just got done a couple of weeks ago doing my Q4 battle

00:23:58.720 plan I know you did as well or excuse me um Q1 battle plan and I had written some things down

00:24:06.860 and I actually believe a couple of weeks ago I shared it on this podcast I won't get into it right

00:24:10.480 now but I was thinking about it last week that I needed to change something because there were a few

00:24:15.520 things that had were left undone uh around here that needed to be done and so one of the changes to

00:24:23.880 his question that I'm going to be making is there's three commitments that I have made that I have not

00:24:29.820 honored and I want to make sure I and my goal is to get that done in the first quarter of next year

00:24:37.040 is honor those commitments get those things done I made excuses as to why I couldn't get them done or

00:24:43.240 why I didn't want to do them one had a lot of emotional baggage behind it that I'm trying to let go of and

00:24:48.640 I feel like I can't really fully move on until I do it the others are just commitments to people

00:24:53.720 that I actually don't have relationships with anymore but I did make that commitment and so I'm going to 0.97

00:24:59.960 take care of these things by myself I love it I love it yeah we're just busting your guys's balls

00:25:08.200 I mean it's just so powerful I mean I don't know like I want to see people succeed I want to be 0.67

00:25:14.900 successful we should all be on a path of trying to be the best versions of ourselves or I'd like that

00:25:20.940 for people because I think that is where fulfillment uh and a life of joy is rooted in

00:25:28.560 and unfortunately a lot of us um we have a tendency out of really just being naive and not realizing it

00:25:35.560 that like you know we get motivated we're like oh man I'm going to make some adjustments in my life

00:25:39.620 but we don't get to the brass tacks of why didn't we already yeah and and what do we need to do to

00:25:45.140 make sure that we're successful I mean for the most part if you had the skill set and the mindset to do

00:25:51.720 it you would have already done it yeah for the most part and I'm not saying that you're destined to live

00:25:57.260 the same year over and over like this perpetual groundhog day but I think it's worthy of consideration

00:26:03.860 if you knew what to do already you would have done it so there has to be something new and when I go to

00:26:09.820 the gym and I see all these people from January 1 through January 20th or whatever day they make it

00:26:14.700 to I actually hope that I see them in January of 2025 I really would they won't the majority of them

00:26:22.580 but I hope they come up with a system whether it's our battle plan or something else that helps keep

00:26:27.160 them on track for their goals that they have today that it's the same in 12 months all right

00:26:31.500 what's next totally Kevin Nickel the holiday season tends to be coupled with times of high

00:26:37.400 stress and anxiety what are your go-to tactics for battling these moments

00:26:42.300 I don't I don't actually have a lot of stress during the holiday I got it's no more stress than

00:26:50.180 it is normal do you yeah are you more stressed out during the holidays yeah believe it or not I do

00:26:56.840 I'm I'm like my birthday holidays I don't know I I'm assuming it was like childhood

00:27:05.440 stresses that I don't know I don't know I don't know what it is but it's really weird my wife hates

00:27:11.900 it the only thing that stresses me out more is that I feel obligated to go buy a bunch of gifts

00:27:17.740 for people I normally wouldn't buy gifts for yeah that's and then I have to drive around town and like

00:27:23.600 go pick up this thing and like order on Amazon early or won't get here and that that gets stressful

00:27:29.860 well regardless though I think the question still is in those moments of high stress and anxiety

00:27:35.740 what's your what's your go-to strategy for dealing with it regardless of holidays yes for the most part

00:27:42.280 eliminate stuff off my schedule I've I've just found I can I can give you all the like go to the gym like

00:27:48.440 I can give you all those type of answers Kevin doesn't doesn't need to worry about that yeah um

00:27:53.340 he's already taking care of that for sure but for me it's get rid of it's offload I have to offload

00:28:00.440 because I know when I get most stressed is when I have so much stuff going on today is a great example

00:28:05.600 you know I had a podcast before you and me then we had this podcast we were having some technical

00:28:11.420 issues so we're running a little bit late yeah um then I have to record two more podcasts this

00:28:17.440 afternoon because I want to be respectful and get those to uh Chad and Josh our editor so they don't

00:28:23.100 have to work during the holidays that'd be a considerate thing to do I would think yeah and

00:28:28.540 then I have to go pick up a couple of gifts to my point earlier this is a stressful day not because

00:28:34.760 of the holidays necessarily but because of my schedule so I'm very aware that I am most stressed

00:28:42.460 when I have the most stuff to do and I'm getting better at offloading things that are unimportant

00:28:48.380 delegating another one that I've used is giving accurate answers to time so for example Kip if you

00:28:56.260 said hey Ryan can you um I don't know I'm working on this website and and I want you to do a testimonial

00:29:04.580 normally what I would say is oh Kip I'll have that to you this afternoon no I won't I will not have

00:29:12.340 that to you this afternoon it's not fair to you because you won't get it and it's not fair to me

00:29:17.620 because I already have a busy schedule so one thing that's been really good is being honest and realistic

00:29:24.280 about timelines so if you said Ryan can you get me a testimonial it's funny as I as I say this

00:29:31.660 Chad asked me for a testimonial and I have not yet got it to him as I say this he's gonna listen

00:29:38.640 to this and be like where's my testimonial but I've been getting better at saying hey um yeah I'll

00:29:44.120 get that to you by Friday and you might say oh man can you do Thursday yes or no I mean I make that

00:29:52.920 now it's up to me to decide if I if it's a no I'll just say no I'm you know what I'm busy I can't do it

00:29:59.620 I'll get it to you by Friday I can't do Thursday or maybe it's a yes you know that's a compromise

00:30:03.320 but that has been a really really helpful tactic for me realistic and honest about timelines for

00:30:09.000 return projects yeah I'm very much the same I think most of the time I'm stressful it's because I've

00:30:14.700 I've over committed or I'm not giving myself enough margin um Kevin another thought to your question I

00:30:22.620 just wrapped up this book called the gap and the gain and in the entire premise if I had to summarize it

00:30:29.160 we'll see how I do here is that we often set unrealistic expectations or these ideal expectations

00:30:36.320 of our progress and what they should look like and rarely is it factual it's very um loaded meaning

00:30:46.940 and around what it means about us and how we'll feel and and even look at our next year look at your

00:30:55.620 goals and really get to brass tacks right we'll say oh I'm going to run a 20 I'm going to run 26.2

00:31:02.080 miles in a marathon often the goal isn't really just the marathon it's what it means and it's how

00:31:09.940 you assume this ideal state of how you're going to feel and all this other stuff and rarely do those

00:31:17.540 ideals kind of come true sometimes and so we keep chasing these expectations that never get met

00:31:24.640 and and people have this anxiety and stress around it and the whole premise of that book is celebrate

00:31:31.600 the gain are you better today than you were yesterday and so I can't help but think of all

00:31:38.480 the times I have stress and anxiety it's usually unmet expectations and me not celebrating the game

00:31:44.880 and realizing things are better I am getting better life is good instead I'm just focusing on the way it

00:31:52.440 should be and guess what it's never going to be that way and I and I have this unmet expectation

00:32:01.220 around it and I and I want to hold on to it that's it that's a good those moments are really stressful

00:32:08.160 when you're not living up to your ideal version of yourself and it's it's not bad to have an idolized

00:32:14.960 version of who you want to be but that's just a benchmark to measure performance you know again

00:32:20.220 I'm going back to the gym here because it's the easy analogy but I've been doing this transformation

00:32:24.540 challenge in the iron council somebody at the end of the month is going to win ten thousand dollars

00:32:29.760 so cool that we could do that and everybody contributed and participated man I was doing really

00:32:35.900 good the last week and a half I feel like I've just plateaued maybe last couple of weeks and it's a

00:32:41.700 little frustrating to be honest because I was doing so well with everything and I'm still still doing

00:32:47.600 well with my activities but I'm not seeing the result like I was maybe a month ago and part of the

00:32:54.320 problem is there's a concept called the law of diminishing returns the better you are at something

00:33:01.320 the smaller the gain becomes as you execute you know for example there's a couple of guys I see

00:33:08.720 every single morning in the gym and I've seen them every single morning for three years they don't

00:33:13.320 really look any bigger to me that's because there comes a point in time where you have pretty much

00:33:19.220 reached the level that you're going to reach now there's a lot of other things you can do there's

00:33:23.620 different ways you can challenge yourself but you're not just going to exponentially get bigger

00:33:27.380 forever and turn into like the size of an elephant obviously so what ends up happening is you have as

00:33:33.980 you get better and better the gains are smaller and smaller it's so frustrating but it's the reality

00:33:40.960 of it and so somebody who's been disciplined for a month is going to see some huge gains which is a

00:33:47.800 that's a beneficial thing because if you've been sitting on the couch for a decade yeah you can go to

00:33:52.720 the gym for a month and lose 20 pounds there's no way I could lose 20 pounds in a month I don't have

00:33:58.580 20 pounds I don't think any more to lose but I might be I might be happy if I lose a pound in a week

00:34:06.000 but that's different and it's a different game as you continue to elevate and get better so the point

00:34:14.240 I'm making is find the meaning and going to the gym not hey I'm gonna I'm gonna get better as far as

00:34:22.420 the performance goes or the result goes but for me when I want to go to the gym one thing I say is

00:34:28.900 this is what a man of value does I don't I'm not worried about the way I look that'll that'll take

00:34:33.320 care of itself but a man of value the kind of man that I want to be gets up early before his work day

00:34:40.100 and he goes to the gym for about an hour and 15 to an hour and 30 that's what the man I want to be

00:34:45.200 would do regardless of what the way I look or what I lift or whatever else yeah one of a phrase

00:34:51.780 that I have I'm doing a pretty good job brainwashing him so next time you see koa you can say do your 0.99

00:34:58.200 best and he'll say forget the rest like we got it down and awesome sometimes doing your best is

00:35:05.980 the value being able to say I gave it all and and feeling great about that regardless of the outcome

00:35:16.920 you know what else it does kip just goes back to a previous question is it helps with your mental

00:35:23.040 health one of the first questions we got was talking about the mental resistance and the

00:35:27.080 mindfulness doing your best it means that you do not have a guilty conscience there's no shame there's

00:35:34.800 no guilt there's there's nothing you left it all on the table you did everything you possibly could

00:35:41.240 and you might still feel bad about the result if you fell short but there's something liberating

00:35:46.960 stress reducing anxiety destroying about doing everything that you could possibly do and getting

00:35:56.440 everything done that you said you'd get done totally all right peter bettencourt as you reflect on the

00:36:04.360 year what's one word that best describes it and how's it how how it has ended and why

00:36:11.600 mine would be perseverance because i it brought its share of challenges balancing my family's health

00:36:17.860 needs navigating career transitions stepping up as a leader in both my profession and personal life

00:36:23.700 despite the hurdles i've stayed focused on what matters most my faith my family my purpose

00:36:30.300 perseverance reflects the strength it took to keep moving forward even when the path wasn't always

00:36:35.720 clear it's also a reminder of the growth and progress i've made by staying committed to my goals

00:36:41.080 and learning on the in the ic community you both have helped our community more than i could ever

00:36:47.320 imagined and of course trusting in god's timing thank you both for your service and leadership

00:36:51.600 awesome yeah peter is he's a different guy than i i mean he was great i remember when he came in the

00:36:58.500 iron council and i thought man that guy i think highly of that guy like right when he came in i

00:37:02.220 remember um and now it's just that much more exponential so he is doing a tremendous job a couple

00:37:08.120 things come to mind that are in this in a similar vein but uh adaptability is one that came to mind for

00:37:14.280 this year for me you know i'm i'm facing fairly new life circumstances and changes and i think that

00:37:20.920 for the most part i've handled it pretty gracefully where i've been able to you know take take the

00:37:29.620 punches take the lumps you know roll with them a little bit um get back up you know maybe learn

00:37:34.980 something new adjust pivot that that that has been really good for me this year and the other one that

00:37:40.840 came to mind is again along the same lines that this was a rebuilding year yeah you know and i and i

00:37:47.660 don't like when people say oh you know 2024 is my warm-up 2025 because how many warm-up years does

00:37:54.420 a person possibly need that's the biggest issue but for me i really did feel like i was trying to get

00:38:01.620 my feet under me you know when you're on shaky ground and and you're like or you're on like rocks

00:38:07.220 and loose gravel and you're trying to like position yourself so you can actually take a few steps i feel

00:38:13.260 a little bit like that's where i was for a lot of this year not feeling on loose ground but finally

00:38:18.760 starting to get my feet planted and settled in which brings me a lot of hope and optimism for what

00:38:24.400 2025 is going to look like yeah you know mine's probably growth i just really feel this year was

00:38:32.600 kind of a step in a different direction for me i i i really feel like i stretched myself on my

00:38:38.980 understanding of things in areas that i've i i don't have expertise in and and so that's yeah

00:38:47.520 that that's probably the word is just growth i really feel happy with how much growth i've had

00:38:53.280 mentally um this past year and made pivots and adjustments and took on new things yeah so well i

00:39:00.960 see a big change in you too i think ever since you started the the leadership stuff like your ability

00:39:06.500 to articulate a message i remember when we first started doing this and there was one time i don't

00:39:10.960 remember exactly but i wasn't able to make it and i said hey you run the ama by yourself you're like

00:39:15.940 what and then afterwards you told me that you had started and stopped a bunch of times before you

00:39:21.640 finally got the finalized version of it and i remember telling you like just go don't stop just

00:39:26.800 hit record don't do it yeah yeah but you could do that now yeah you you couldn't do that then

00:39:33.520 and neither could i i'm not singling you out nobody could but i've seen a lot of growth in

00:39:38.560 your ability to articulate a thought and that's pretty cool to see no i appreciate it and well to

00:39:43.860 be frank i mean it's it's through this uh movement that you've created that's really given me the

00:39:49.680 opportunity to get the reps so thank you for that there is something just so amazing to me i i feel so

00:39:55.720 good and so fulfilled when i see a man who is deficient in something and i don't get to decide what that

00:40:02.400 is but he comes in and he's like hey man i'm out of shape or hey i want to start this company and i

00:40:07.240 don't know how or my marriage is on the rocks i'm not i don't have a relationship with my kids

00:40:12.440 there is something i don't know why but and i hesitate to use this word but it feels this way

00:40:20.280 is i like that project i'd like i like seeing a guy i've got a friend i've been going to the gym with

00:40:28.420 for the past pretty much month now and i know he's had some hardships in life and he shared some

00:40:34.440 of those things with me and obviously i won't get into that and i thought man you know what this guy

00:40:39.080 needs is to come to the gym every morning the other stuff we can work out we can he can figure it out

00:40:46.160 whatever it's not i don't need to rescue him but we've been going to the gym every day just about

00:40:50.900 for a month and just to see little incremental improvements and part part of it might be selfish

00:41:00.200 because i get some sense of satisfaction and fulfillment from it so that might be a little

00:41:04.360 selfish another selfish aspect is i have a workout buddy that forces me to go to the gym too so there's

00:41:09.840 accountability in that but i don't know i've i'd love to see when a guy is deficient and now he's not

00:41:17.780 as deficient and he's on the path to improvement i i just i like that well and you could say it's

00:41:25.000 selfish but like isn't that i mean i don't know man it's it's you tell me if you agree but it's a

00:41:30.320 win-win yeah and and that's like isn't that the ultimate purpose like isn't that the ultimate

00:41:36.860 fulfillment is is serving and helping others i don't know of course yeah of course and i think

00:41:45.840 it's in our nature even if we just think it from a from a biological perspective to feel good

00:41:52.600 when you help community totally of course that's your body's way of saying you need to do that more

00:41:59.920 that's our species saying this is how we ensure our survival we help each other we serve each other

00:42:07.020 we lift each other up and then don't you always kind of feel bad when you do the wrong thing

00:42:12.720 if you take advantage of somebody you manipulate somebody you steal from somebody you justify it

00:42:18.860 you rationalize you have to in order to live with yourself but a little piece of your soul dies when

00:42:25.260 you do that totally and there's only one way to get it back and that's to do better next time

00:42:30.680 yeah or make amends if you can and and sometimes these are long games right i want to share this if

00:42:38.260 you don't mind i'll i'll make this really quick i got this message i i won't say his name because i

00:42:42.800 don't want to i don't know maybe he wouldn't want people to know he says thank you so much he says i

00:42:49.360 must share how influential you have and continue to be in my life when i first mingled with you i was

00:42:55.900 unable to understand you i was wrongfully assumed it was you that was my ego now after frequently being

00:43:04.240 around you i am much more self-aware genuinely i have been sharpened by you i am grateful to god

00:43:10.220 for crossing our paths i'd like to encourage you oh they did some other things that which is

00:43:16.080 embarrassing so i won't read those ones but like it's kind of and i love the fact that it was like

00:43:20.720 hey dude at first no way i was not i was not aligned with you but as i've grown man thank you

00:43:30.560 right and and isn't that ironic i mean isn't that parenting 101 right there it's like yeah they may

00:43:37.200 not see it for a while it takes time right and there's people in our lives that we have an

00:43:41.960 opportunity to serve and sometimes it takes a lot of reps right for that service to be realized

00:43:47.380 i was gonna say that's a note that i could have written but i'm still confused by you so that hasn't

00:43:53.120 changed on that front at all so that wasn't me guys that was definitely not me yeah

00:43:57.960 what the heck is kip talking about right now all right mr bob ross what techniques do you employ

00:44:05.140 when you are about to embark on an endeavor you believe you can accomplish but have never attempted

00:44:11.200 i like this uh first tap in from a mindset perspective first you need to tap into where

00:44:17.440 you've been successful in the past because it's going to be easy when you're doing something new

00:44:21.880 to get discouraged because you're not going to see the results that you're used to achieving

00:44:26.140 in something you've done for a long time so you need to begin to associate your success

00:44:33.900 not with the actual skill set but the fact that you can figure it out and get better and grow and

00:44:41.160 improve and develop because you've done it in every other facet of life you're still here you're still

00:44:46.300 kicking which means you can definitely do it here that mindset has been really helpful uh the other

00:44:52.840 thing that i would do i'm going to give you three so that's one next enlist other people who are

00:44:58.700 already doing what you want to do yeah you don't need to recreate the way the wheel you don't need 0.92

00:45:04.040 to bang your head against the wall you don't need to make a bunch of dumb mistakes my friend with 0.99

00:45:08.920 origin uh pete roberts calls them tuition payments uh dave ramsey calls it stupid tax you don't need to pay 0.99

00:45:16.540 that it's not a requirement for success and the best way not to pay those payments

00:45:21.180 is to enlist other people that means you have to go to their courses you have to listen to their

00:45:25.960 emails you have to listen to their pot you have to read their books you have to hire them if you can

00:45:29.860 you have to invest in order for them to teach you i promise you that investment is going to be 0.97

00:45:35.020 significantly less than the stupid tax or the tuition payment you'll pay if you did not do that 0.95

00:45:39.700 yeah good point once you do that and that's not a one-time thing by the way that's all the time you 0.97

00:45:45.720 have the mentors and you have guides and instructors in your life then you start to create a plan and

00:45:53.660 execute on it they're going to give you some instruction and maybe you have 10 things to do

00:45:57.420 and that mentor says hey this is the top two or three things you need to get done cool i'm going

00:46:03.080 to put all seven of the other things on the list off for the next 30 days 30 days i'm focused only on

00:46:10.780 this and then when you get it done you pull that list back out and you see okay there's three or

00:46:15.740 five more things okay let me do these two first that's going to take me a week that one i'll do

00:46:20.820 in the second quarter of next year and then in the third quarter i'll get to these things

00:46:25.600 because sometimes at least for me it's so overwhelming to look at this big audacious exciting

00:46:34.840 goal that you have knowing how much needs to get accomplished and you not knowing how in the world

00:46:40.300 you're going to do any of it you don't need to do it all there's one or two things you need to do

00:46:44.700 figure out what those are go all in on those and then you can move from there that's my three-part

00:46:49.920 formula so to speak i love it i wouldn't add anything i i can't help but think what stops people from

00:46:57.620 executing on this and is probably number one would be their ego so don't don't worry about

00:47:04.840 let go of looking good and trying to look back like you don't know and and be teachable check 0.88

00:47:12.560 the ego and be willing to you know kind of look stupid as you get some reps in i think most people 0.92

00:47:18.640 won't take these actions because well you know they don't want to admit that they're asking for 0.97

00:47:22.620 help or they don't want to look like they're still learning and and then they're they're chopping

00:47:26.720 themselves off at the knees because their unwillingness to be new yeah i wrote this down as you're saying that

00:47:32.940 if because i like frameworks and heuristics it's mindset mentor and manage the mindset is the ego

00:47:38.840 part part of the mindset is ego get over yourself like be a rookie it's okay mentor bringing in people

00:47:44.800 and then the manage is manage the priorities and then execute future friday field notes right there

00:47:50.420 too yes sir okay richard ford do you think that the hustle culture and those that promote it are

00:47:56.860 hurting younger generations ability to become good leaders it seems to me as it's creating men 0.89

00:48:02.580 who don't know how to lead a team into a situation but instead demand the team charge at it unassisted

00:48:09.240 i think i liked this question i read this earlier this morning i think the hustle culture is very

00:48:18.900 selfish it is very very self-centered it's all about me i gotta get mine we're gonna whoever gets in

00:48:28.980 way it doesn't matter yeah yeah i'm not saying hustling is bad like they're like anything

00:48:36.780 in order for a person to believe it there has to be some truth to it if it was all ego and it was all

00:48:44.060 selfish pursuits at the expense of other people and there wasn't some element of truth to it nobody

00:48:49.500 would take that pill but they take the pill because it sounds like achievement and um it sounds like

00:48:57.700 not letting things deter you and it sounds like working hard to get what you want and making

00:49:03.220 sacrifices that are good for you and all of those things are righteous yeah those are all good things

00:49:10.580 it's when you start doing it to the degree that you take advantage of people you manipulate people you

00:49:17.120 aren't taking their feedback into consideration you're burning bridges to your point you're you're just

00:49:23.820 destroying people on your path to greatness that i take a real that i really have a problem with

00:49:30.020 and i also think that hustling alone isn't enough no and that's what the hustle culture guys will do

00:49:37.920 you just gotta work harder well if you're working harder doing the wrong thing you're just gonna fail

00:49:42.560 faster it's not scalable yeah it's not i mean it it could be if you bring people in

00:49:48.500 but too often it's you're doing the wrong thing and you you're misattributing your lack of results

00:49:55.660 well i'm just i must not be doing it fast enough or hard enough or good enough

00:50:00.320 or maybe it just takes some time maybe you're actually just doing the wrong thing really well

00:50:07.060 where's the room for conversation in that in that traditional hustle culture and i'm i'm a little

00:50:14.880 hesitant to use that term because it might mean something different to different people and that's

00:50:18.540 why i say there is value in part of it but it's missing or it has this other component that is

00:50:24.740 selfish and not sustainable it's not sustainable

00:50:30.620 and also oh good i was just gonna say and also i don't want when i think of hustle what are we

00:50:38.340 talking about we're talking about business that's what everybody's talking about yeah what about your

00:50:42.220 wife what about your kids try that what about the hobbies and activities and interesting

00:50:49.240 things that you want to do what about your your relationship with god i don't tell you i could

00:50:54.420 i could do that stuff later really what if you die on the way home today because you're hustling to get

00:51:00.060 to your next appointment and you get yourself in a car crash i think i'm not a like a balance kind

00:51:07.100 of guy like find the perfect balance you've heard me talk about balance being a verb and maybe it's

00:51:12.320 just me getting a little older and to be fair to be in a pretty decent economic position when you're

00:51:20.420 younger you're not that you're not that you got a lot of energy but you don't have a lot of financial

00:51:25.760 capital as you get older the tempo changes you have a desire for the tempo to change but you also have

00:51:32.280 the financial capital you didn't when you were 20 so it's a weird thing and maybe because i'm 43 now

00:51:37.640 and i'm getting older every year where i see like you know maybe uh maybe there is some room for

00:51:44.040 not making an extra 50 grand or 100 grand this year and sacrificing time away from my kids

00:51:50.640 yeah yeah i love it all right last question caleb johnson i like this i i see the intent that he's

00:52:00.640 looking for in this question if you were in prison and you had to lead a group of men to survive

00:52:06.720 or escape how would you go about doing it i say prison because they don't want to be there and

00:52:12.920 there isn't many options for external motivation well i i have a i have a problem with the premise of

00:52:21.560 the question and the problem is survive or escape those are two complete survive is honorable

00:52:29.820 escape i don't think it's honorable you're serving time for doing something if you're in prison i know

00:52:39.620 we're getting a little philosophical but i just wanted to lay this out here surviving means you know

00:52:44.500 what yeah i did that i'm going to finish out my sentence and i'm going to do with honor

00:52:47.940 yeah and escaping is i'm going to try to shortcut and i'm going to try to get out of the consequences

00:52:54.480 of my actions even if it means that somebody else gets hurt in the process yeah so i don't equate the

00:53:02.180 two together yeah let's go with survive okay so let's talk about survive um the question is what would i do

00:53:11.240 how would you lead a group of men to survive in that circumstance oh i'd find the people who

00:53:18.040 are honorable who wanted to survive the guys that want to escape they're not going to survive and

00:53:23.720 they're not going to be part of the group that like we want to like they're just not

00:53:27.000 you know what i'm saying like people surround themselves with the bad people the wrong people

00:53:33.260 all the time and they think why isn't this person on board with what we're doing because you knew that

00:53:38.500 there's a um there's a story maybe it's one of like aesop's fables i don't know but this boy comes

00:53:45.360 to the edge of a river bank and he sees a snake and the snake says hey will you pick me up and carry

00:53:53.680 me across the river i can't swim in this river and the boy says i'm not going to pick you up you're a

00:53:57.140 snake and the snake says well i know i'm a snake and i know you have reason not to believe me or to be

00:54:04.820 afraid of me but i just need to get across the river and if you do this thing for me i promise

00:54:10.820 i won't bite you you let me down on the other side and i'll leave and we'll both go on our separate

00:54:14.360 way and the boy says no way you're a snake and the snake again tries to convince him so finally the boy

00:54:20.360 picks up the snake and he starts to wait across the river and the snake says hey i'm a little cold

00:54:25.700 will you put me inside of your jacket and the boy says i'm not put you're a snake you're gonna bite me

00:54:30.660 if i put you inside of my jacket you're gonna bite me and the snake says no no no i'm just cold as

00:54:35.020 we're crossing the river put me under your jacket let me out and i'll go my separate way so he does

00:54:39.480 he gets towards the end of the river and right as he get out gets out on the other side of the river

00:54:45.220 the snake bites him falls down to the ground and starts to slither away and the boy cries to the

00:54:50.040 snake and says why did you bite me you said you wouldn't and the snake says you knew i was a snake

00:54:54.780 when you picked me up and you picked me up anyways yeah we have to we have to be around people

00:55:03.220 that are are aligned with our interests whether we're trying to survive in prison or escape in

00:55:08.960 prison so find those people who are motivated inspired by what you are because those people are

00:55:15.060 way easier to lead and way easier to have a relationship with because you know you're going

00:55:20.720 towards the same line goal and the same objective now we can get into the specifics of you know

00:55:26.280 starting a men's organization inside of a prison to work on our fitness to challenge each other what

00:55:33.060 books we should read together how to strengthen the mind how to build a relationship with god all of

00:55:38.520 those things that we would do on the outside i would do the same thing on the inside but the first step

00:55:43.640 is finding the right people because everybody else is it could be a snake sabotaging your efforts

00:55:49.380 yeah you know i can't help but just think of victor frankel you know his book man's search for meaning

00:55:56.960 and and i think if i had to lead a group in that circumstance survive is finding meaning in the

00:56:05.160 suffering and that meaning isn't woe is me but something greater than oneself and in that circumstance

00:56:13.600 that is exactly how uh you find and that's how you survive in a very powerful way is is something

00:56:22.180 beyond yourself yeah and of course right you can't do that for people you could enlist them but if

00:56:29.140 they're not unified with that purpose then obviously you wouldn't be able to enroll them

00:56:34.120 i think it's a there's just a base level of making sure that you say okay i'm gonna get better

00:56:41.400 despite my circumstances i talk with a lot of guys every day just about who are they're hopeless

00:56:49.060 they're in despair yeah yep and i can't begin to help a guy like that until he believes that there's

00:56:57.160 some optimism and hope somewhere there's nothing i would be able to do if a guy isn't like if we're

00:57:03.920 gonna use this this story here if a guy's in prison and he's like this is this is it my life is over

00:57:10.020 it's done what am i gonna do to lead him but if he believes that he can get better and that he can

00:57:17.620 improve even if he's on death row or sentenced to decades there and he'll never see the light of day

00:57:23.520 as a free man it he has to believe somewhere deep down inside that it could he can make it a better life

00:57:30.300 regardless of his circumstances and if he believes that then we have something to work with well and

00:57:35.580 that's the power isn't that the power of religion especially christianity with this idea of hope

00:57:44.160 that is the answer to that most despair situation that there is something to have hope in you're right

00:57:54.200 some future state and and regardless of religious belief i mean you're naive to not realize that that's

00:58:00.460 one of the like cornerstone benefits of of believing right in in christ for example as like a savior it

00:58:09.600 generates hope it's a message of hope one thing i wanted to call out ryan is i think there's a step

00:58:16.300 before that of the of the man that's despair and it's the person that still has an accepted reality

00:58:23.800 where they're in jail and it's not their fault right and and the world is acting upon them and

00:58:31.780 and and they shouldn't be here and they haven't even moved on to despair yet because they're not

00:58:38.040 even dealing in reality of their role in where they are in life and so i'd say that's probably step

00:58:44.660 number one step number two is the despair moment of man i'm in a really bad predicament and then step

00:58:52.660 step three is looking for meaning despite that circumstance to create and and to rise above

00:59:01.320 and and uh create something bigger than oneself yeah no i agree i to take this full full circle

00:59:09.340 you know when you you watch gladiator the one of the quotes comes to mind is what you do in life

00:59:16.180 echoes in eternity and i think um i think a lot of great men would agree with that sentiment because

00:59:25.700 it's hard at times to do the right thing we're easily distracted we're tempted by selfish pursuits

00:59:33.980 and desires we we get lazy we get idle it's hard but if you believe that what i do here matters

00:59:43.520 forever i think you're more likely to make good decisions i do want to say kip that i was writing

00:59:48.360 this down and thinking about this because let's real briefly address the escape side of things

00:59:52.960 yeah and because i think it's it's an interesting question i i would i would teach myself and others

01:00:00.220 to become masters in psychology persuasion and observation if you're going to escape if i was

01:00:07.860 trying to escape i would get i would start understanding how the human mind works because

01:00:12.760 i'd need to know what the guards are doing and other prisoners are doing i need to be very aware of

01:00:16.340 what's happening i need to be able to manipulate those people to like me to trust me to give me access

01:00:24.140 to certain parts of the prison and areas and observation is always looking for people you can

01:00:29.900 manipulate take advantage of use um and maybe even exploit uh what weaknesses and vulnerabilities in

01:00:39.520 the prison itself and then so those are the three things if i was trying to escape i would teach men

01:00:45.540 to do that and i would do that for myself you you came up with that list fairly well and that was

01:00:50.620 very well said i'm like have you thought through this well let's not pretend it doesn't the darker

01:00:58.500 side of us doesn't exist but um yeah well uh robert green has great stuff robert cialdini on um

01:01:07.020 the psychology psychology of oh what is it called influent i don't know i can't think of the book right

01:01:14.280 off hand cialdini um i don't know that book i'll look at it anyways that's what i would do yeah i love

01:01:21.580 it you know we we talked about the the battle plan quite a bit um and and i even think the conversation

01:01:28.280 around the gap and the gain of how do we celebrate progress and that kind of ties back into what you're

01:01:34.100 saying earlier that that's the benefit of the battle plan because you're tracking your progress on a

01:01:39.620 daily basis you're you're having conversations with your team where they hold you accountable

01:01:44.400 to that progress and so there's some opportunity especially for the guys already in the iron council

01:01:50.000 to celebrate the gain and the gain is you honoring and showing up powerfully day in and day out based

01:01:57.640 upon what's on your battle plan um to learn more about the ic and and what we're doing there to

01:02:03.720 really level up and hold each other accountable and to be with like-minded individuals that are that

01:02:10.000 are unified and focused around becoming better go to order of man.com iron council to learn more

01:02:15.860 enrollments open for roughly about another week or so uh yeah about a week and a half yep

01:02:22.680 that's cool i found that book it's yes it is robert cialdini it's influence the psychology of

01:02:30.020 persuasion it's a really really good book so check it out if you're trying to escape from prison i better

01:02:35.780 not say that because if you manage to do that successfully i might get blamed for for it forget i said that

01:02:42.780 guys uh kip appreciate you man great discussion today that was an interesting question i will say

01:02:50.660 that is one of the most interesting questions that i think we may have received in doing this podcast

01:02:57.380 i like it all right guys appreciate all of you we'll be back on friday until then go out there

01:03:03.560 take action join the iron council and become the man you are meant to be

01:03:07.760 thank you for listening to the order of man podcast you're ready to take charge of your life

01:03:16.640 and be more of the man you were meant to be we invite you to join the order at order of man.com

01:03:22.160 you

Order of Man - December 25, 2024

Mental Resilience, High Stress, and a Winning Mindset ｜ ASK ME ANYTHING

Episode Stats

Summary

Transcript