Order of Man - October 10, 2023


MICHAEL EASTER | Conquer Your Scarcity Brain


Episode Stats

Length

1 hour and 1 minute

Words per Minute

208.29868

Word Count

12,771

Sentence Count

756

Misogynist Sentences

4

Hate Speech Sentences

5


Summary

In this episode of The Order of Man Podcast, host Brian Michler is joined by Michael Easter, author of The Comfort Crisis and his latest book, Scarcity Brain. They discuss why we constantly crave more, the dangers inherent in social media, and how to strike the balance between contentment and ambition.


Transcript

00:00:00.000 So many of us as men are operating from a position of scarcity. We've wired our brains over decades
00:00:06.580 to constantly crave newer, better, more. Ironically, more doesn't always enhance and enrich our lives.
00:00:14.840 In fact, there is plenty of evidence to suggest that the quest for better actually makes us less
00:00:20.960 happy and less fulfilled. My guest today is Michael Easter, author of The Comfort Crisis
00:00:26.020 and his latest book, Scarcity Brain. Today, Michael and I cover why we constantly crave more,
00:00:32.100 the dangers inherent in social media along this path, parameters to consider looking for abundance
00:00:37.660 in our lives, how to strike the balance between contentment and ambition, and how to finally
00:00:43.580 conquer our scarcity brains. You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest. Embrace your fears
00:00:49.480 and boldly chart your own path. When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time, every time.
00:00:56.020 You are not easily deterred or defeated, rugged, resilient, strong. This is your life. This is
00:01:02.560 who you are. This is who you will become. At the end of the day, and after all is said and done,
00:01:08.260 you can call yourself a man. Gentlemen, what is going on today? My name is Brian Michler. I'm your
00:01:13.680 host and the founder of the Order of Man podcast and global movement at this point. We were looking
00:01:19.780 through some data and some information over the past week or two and realized that there's so many of
00:01:25.120 you who have been listening, who have joined the Iron Council, who have bought products, who have come
00:01:30.440 to our events, who have engaged in some way for literally eight years now. Eight years, almost a
00:01:36.960 decade. We're coming up on a decade of doing this work, reclaiming, restoring masculinity, trying to
00:01:42.080 put good information out in the world, trying to serve us as men and help us lead those that we're
00:01:46.520 called to lead. So I want to first and foremost, thank you for tuning in. Thank you for joining us.
00:01:51.200 And also thank you for sharing. I've never done any sort of advertising or poured any money into,
00:01:58.440 you know, spending type of any money to get new listeners or anything like that. And not that I'm
00:02:04.000 opposed to that. I just, I can't believe the growth that we've experienced, the grassroots movements,
00:02:08.740 that is Order of Man, just based on you guys sharing. And that's a big honor to me. And I just want
00:02:14.980 to let you know, I appreciate you. If you are new guys, we're interviewing incredible men. I've got
00:02:18.740 Michael Easter on the podcast today, New York Times bestselling author, but we've also had other guys
00:02:23.680 like Jocko Willink, David Goggins, Cameron Haynes, Andy Frisilla, Tim Tebow, Tim Kennedy, Terry Cruz,
00:02:32.900 Matthew McConaughey, Ben Shapiro. I mean, we've got, we've got some, we've got some big names at this
00:02:38.100 point who have joined us. And that's a testament to the work that we're doing here and a testament to you
00:02:42.840 implementing the information that you're learning. So thank you for tuning in. I don't really have
00:02:48.960 any announcements today. I want to get right into it with my guest. He is a friend and a repeat guest.
00:02:53.580 His name is Michael Easter. He's the author of the bestselling book, The Comfort Crisis,
00:02:57.400 and his latest New York Times bestselling book, Scarcity Brain. His work has appeared in over 60
00:03:03.800 countries. It's been translated into 40 languages. It's been endorsed by directors of the CIA and US
00:03:11.000 special forces, professional sports teams, leaders in medicine, and so much more. He's also appeared
00:03:16.960 on a small little podcast called the Joe Rogan Experience podcast and in outlets like men's health,
00:03:23.080 women's health, Forbes, ESPN, and he's going to have to add order to men to that list as well.
00:03:28.100 On top of all that, Michael is currently working on a podcast series for Amazon. He's a professor in the
00:03:33.500 journalism department at UNLV and has become a leading voice on how humans can integrate modern science
00:03:40.380 and evolutionary wisdom for improved health, meaning, and performance. Gentlemen, please welcome
00:03:46.280 Michael Easter. Michael, what's up, brother? Great to have you back on the podcast. Looking
00:03:51.400 forward to the conversation today. Yeah, likewise, man. It's good to be back. I appreciate you having
00:03:55.780 me. So I just want to address the, probably one of the number one questions that I receive,
00:04:00.880 and we're going to work our way backwards into your book and message, but I think this is very poignant
00:04:04.940 based on what you're talking about. One of the questions I get all the time is how do you balance
00:04:10.480 contentment and ambition? That's something that I hear from the guys all the time about,
00:04:17.260 hey, I want to be happy and satisfied with where I am, which is a lot about what you talk about,
00:04:21.900 but also I do have goals. I do have dreams. I do have ambitions. I do have other things that I want
00:04:26.440 to accomplish. And where do you find that balance? Yeah, that's a great question. I think if anyone had
00:04:32.000 the perfect answer, we'd all have found it and that person would be very, very rich.
00:04:37.600 Yeah. What I'll say about that is this. On one hand, I think that humans can be very content with
00:04:46.580 a lot less than we think, especially in the context of modern life, right? It's like people
00:04:53.000 have been happy throughout time and space. And for the vast majority of time, people didn't own a lot
00:04:58.000 of things. Their conditions weren't 72 degrees all the time. They had lives that had a lot of
00:05:04.520 physical effort in. They had all these things that were seemingly hard, but they managed to find
00:05:08.360 happiness, perhaps not even despite it, but maybe because of that, right? So I do think that there's
00:05:13.900 a message in there that we do thrive when we have some amount of challenge in our life,
00:05:19.200 not an overwhelming amount, but some. And then the other thing that I will say is that
00:05:25.060 humans are a really fascinating creature in that we are just relentless explorers and pursuers,
00:05:32.840 right? We are the only species that has literally taken over the globe. We've gone down into the
00:05:38.940 deepest parts of the ocean. We've gone to the highest mountains. We've gone into outer freaking space.
00:05:43.620 So we are this creature that just goes and goes, what's over there? Because there might be greener
00:05:47.740 grass over there. But what if there's greener grass over there? There's greener grass over there.
00:05:51.140 Now, that's obviously got us to where we are now. But I think in the context of everyday life,
00:05:56.220 it takes a little bit of perspective to realize when you're just moving to different lawns and
00:06:00.860 they're all pretty much the same and it's making you miserable in the effort. And so I think a lot
00:06:06.720 of it comes down to realizing that the things that we often want to pursue, whether it's like
00:06:13.100 possessions, whether it's partners, whether it's a certain number in our bank account, it's like these
00:06:18.420 sort of worldly things. I think that you see that we only need a certain amount of them to be happy.
00:06:24.500 And once we go over that, we don't get much more happiness. And in fact, like continuing to trying
00:06:29.400 to pursue them can probably be counterproductive. And once you have sort of your bare minimum,
00:06:35.060 you probably have to shift your goals to something bigger, whether that's helping people,
00:06:38.940 whether that's doing the next right thing, whether that's devoting yourself to, I don't know,
00:06:42.460 spirituality, something greater than yourself. I think that that's a message that sort of
00:06:47.120 holds up in most religions and throughout time. But how do you know when your ambition is making
00:06:53.280 you miserable or is it just part of being human, the human experience, right? We're going to suffer
00:06:59.600 whether we're talking about cavemen who didn't have fire or food for three or four days, that's
00:07:05.180 suffering. Or whether it's us who maybe just went through a breakup or a job loss or financial
00:07:11.540 hardship. How do you know when it's actually your ambition that's making it miserable or just the
00:07:16.660 human experience? Yeah, that's a great question. That's a really good question. What are some
00:07:22.440 ways I can tell you that I do feel like when you start to see symptoms, underlying symptoms, something
00:07:29.420 like addiction, depression, anxiety, all those sorts of things, like if you're pursuing and yet you're
00:07:36.400 ultimately fulfilled, that to me seems like it's, you're probably doing the right thing. But I tend to
00:07:43.420 think that a lot of the behaviors that we fall into that are negative in the long-term, those are
00:07:49.600 usually a symptom of something gone awry and that could be just too much ambition, right?
00:07:56.580 Yeah, I think we kind of inherently know too, right? I mean, I like what you said about addiction,
00:08:01.700 you know, self-destructive behavior versus, hey, I'm having a bad day.
00:08:05.640 Right.
00:08:06.000 Like we're all going to have bad days, but if you start slipping into self-destructive behavior
00:08:09.840 habitually and it becomes a trend, then I think there's some things that we need to look at as
00:08:14.640 the underlying issue. Yeah. I mean, I, I find, I think that most self-destructive behaviors,
00:08:20.620 when they start, they give us a benefit or else we wouldn't do them.
00:08:24.220 Of course.
00:08:24.920 Right. So it's like you, let's take this, a stupid example of like, you're on your phone
00:08:32.480 too much. It's like most people, when you look at the data, 90 some odd percent of phone pickups
00:08:37.840 aren't because of an external cue. They're because the person got bored or they experienced stress
00:08:45.220 or something. Right. So we find these behaviors that will relieve whatever our problem is in the
00:08:50.720 short term. But when we continue doing them over and over and over, they lead to
00:08:54.040 long-term problems, but you're still going to get that short-term benefit, right? If I'm stressed
00:08:58.780 out or I'm bored and I look at my phone and fall into Instagram, it did relieve that problem in the
00:09:02.560 short term. But then the long-term problem is I've just wasted half an hour. I've just spent my time
00:09:07.500 doing something that I don't ultimately want to be doing with my life. That could be used a lot
00:09:11.600 more productively. Same with addiction, right? You, you get home from work, you're stressed,
00:09:15.500 you're pissed off, whatever you have a drink. And it's like, wow, that, that fixed the problem
00:09:19.640 pretty soon, pretty quickly. So you have another, oh, that was good too. And eventually repeating
00:09:24.000 that cycle over time, you start to accumulate long-term problems. But the problem is, is that
00:09:27.560 the behavior still fixes your problem in the short term. So you often have to do something hard,
00:09:32.400 which is not do the behavior. You have to sit with whatever the underlying issue is and figure
00:09:37.080 out, well, why am I doing this in the first place? And then you can start to, even though that's hard,
00:09:41.620 you can start to get rid of those long-term problems. That makes sense.
00:09:45.520 It does. And I just think the problem, the problem, the challenge is we're so impatient and to have to sit
00:09:50.800 with our own shortcomings or inadequacies or boredom. It's like, why do that? I can just turn
00:09:57.820 the TV on. I can just have a drink. I can just have a smoke. I can do whatever your thing is,
00:10:02.520 right? You can just do that. If it's, if it's like, Hey, I need to get laid, just jump on an app.
00:10:06.480 Like everything that we, we want to give us short-term gratification is literally at our
00:10:12.200 fingertips. Yeah, totally. I mean, I think that that, so this book I wrote scarcity brand,
00:10:16.740 that is very much a big part of the message is that, you know, in the past, we didn't have all
00:10:23.680 these different ways to quickly escape to, you know, we couldn't just buy stuff all the time.
00:10:30.280 We couldn't spend time on, in these online worlds. We didn't, we didn't have like alcohol everywhere
00:10:36.440 or whatever it is. And now we just have so many different ways to escape that we often find
00:10:40.880 something that sort of does it for us. And that can ultimately be destructive. So in the past,
00:10:45.800 you'd often, I mean, take boredom, right? Boredom is this evolutionary discomfort that basically
00:10:49.640 tells us whatever you're doing with your time, your time invested is one thin. So if you think
00:10:55.300 about people hunting and gathering, let's say we're hunting and we need food and we're going to,
00:10:59.160 or else we're going to starve. If there's no animals coming through, boredom kicks on and
00:11:04.320 basically just tells us go do something else. Now in the past, we would have gone and done something
00:11:09.280 productive. We would have gone and picked potatoes. We would have picked berries. We would have done
00:11:12.800 something to survive. Right. But now it's like, we don't actually need to be doing these
00:11:18.040 acts that we need to do to survive. And when we feel boredom, we've got this easy, effortless escape
00:11:24.360 from it. And it's all over, right? It's in the form of your cell phone. It's in the form of your TV.
00:11:29.880 It's in the form of your computer. It's like all these different ways to escape. And so I think what
00:11:34.440 really happens is that a lot of these sort of evolutionary tendencies we have in the human brain to
00:11:39.940 acquire, to be stimulated, to gather more influence, to, you know, eat, whatever it might be.
00:11:47.380 They sort of almost get co-opted in a world where there's food everywhere. There's Amazon Prime. You
00:11:54.300 can have something to your house in six hours and you don't even have to leave the couch where if you
00:11:58.860 want to get laid, you don't even have to go down to the damn bar and put in the effort of like
00:12:03.180 spinning a good game, spinning a good game. You can just like go on Tinder and like swipe,
00:12:07.380 swipe, swipe, swipe, swipe, swipe, swipe. Oh, here's someone they're just like totally down
00:12:10.620 to, but we were not, we're not even going to talk. Right. So it's just, we've got like this
00:12:15.260 abundance of all these things that we're built to crave now. And we don't necessarily have a
00:12:21.260 governor on how we manage them, let's say. So I actually, I want to talk about the governor
00:12:27.760 before I do. I I'm always a little skeptical of the, of the argument of, you know, well, we used
00:12:32.940 to, right. Uh, thousands of years ago, our ancestors used to do intermittent fasting is
00:12:38.980 what I hear a lot. It's like, well, yeah, because you know, like they didn't have food
00:12:44.140 all the time. Like we do. And now we have to force ourselves or, you know, our ancestor
00:12:48.200 didn't have gyms. It's like, well, yeah, they didn't have perfectly balanced symmetrical
00:12:51.700 barbells to lift, but they were, you know, moving logs and picking up rocks and throwing
00:12:55.960 things at objects and animals so they could eat. Is that the argument? Because I'm not really
00:13:01.800 sure. I'm willing to trade places with the Neanderthals. So it's, it's just an interesting
00:13:06.500 argument to me. Well, to me, what it is, is it's that it's fundamentally an evolutionary
00:13:10.900 mismatch, right? Um, our ancestors didn't necessarily choose to do the things they did.
00:13:16.600 And so the blessing of our time is that we do have an abundance of all these things. We don't
00:13:20.760 have to go move for our food. Um, we don't have to fast if we want to, but we still have,
00:13:28.040 we're still compelled to behave in a way similar that our ancestors would have, would have,
00:13:32.460 which is, for example, if you found food in the past, it made sense to overeat it like
00:13:37.500 for all the time, eat it all and do nothing. And by the way, exercise, we invented that 150
00:13:43.600 years ago when we realized like, Oh, these new jobs we have that are more or less kind
00:13:47.940 of sedentary. Like, it seems like we're getting health problems because of that. So what are
00:13:51.840 we going to do? Like, I don't know. Let's just like build a building where people can go
00:13:54.860 move around and like pick stuff up and put it down and like run on a belt. Right. Let's
00:13:59.700 exercise. That never made sense for all of time. And so I do think that, um, while we
00:14:04.940 can't be a slave to the, to the past, because to your point, like, yeah, our ancestors didn't
00:14:11.620 choose the fast, like they would have eaten if they had food, they would have eaten it all
00:14:15.660 the time. Right. Um, but I do think that it can inform and can help explain a lot of times
00:14:22.600 when we find ourself in trouble in the present more or less.
00:14:27.300 So how do you then turn on you, you use the term governor. So how do you turn on that governor
00:14:32.080 and realize, you know, I'm, I'm overeating or, uh, or, or I've grown complacent or, uh,
00:14:39.300 I'm on social media too much. And I think these are all things that most men would acknowledge
00:14:43.680 readily. And yet they have a hard time and myself included tempering some of that behavior.
00:14:49.440 How do you turn on that governor so that you can be comfortable with what you have and
00:14:54.200 not overindulge?
00:14:57.700 Yeah. Um, I'll answer that this way. So as part of this scarcity brain book, um, I got,
00:15:04.200 um, I live in Vegas and you live pretty close to Vegas. If you've ever come down here, it's
00:15:10.660 like there's slot machines everywhere and people play them around the clock. It's like grocery
00:15:14.900 stores, gas station, restaurants, bars, whatever. And that is a behavior that it really doesn't make
00:15:20.000 much sense, right? Cause everyone knows the house is always going to win. And so I start
00:15:24.020 to get really interested in why do people get obsessed with slot machines? Like, you know,
00:15:28.820 you're going to lose eventually. So long story short is that, um, I end up going to this lab
00:15:35.520 that is effectively a living, breathing, working casino, but it's used for, uh, research on gambling,
00:15:42.600 on human behavior, on all these sorts of different things. And when I'm there, I ended up talking to
00:15:47.440 a guy who designed slot machines more or less. And he explains to me how slot machines work and they
00:15:54.100 work off this three-part, uh, habit loop that I call the scarcity loop. And it's got opportunity,
00:15:59.800 unpredictable rewards, and quick repeatability. So with number one opportunity, you have an opportunity
00:16:05.080 to get something of value that can enhance your life. And form a slot machine, it's obviously money.
00:16:09.880 Number two, unpredictable rewards. You know, that if you, if you keep doing the behavior,
00:16:15.300 you'll get the thing of value eventually, but you don't know when, and you don't know how valuable
00:16:19.520 it's going to be. So with the slot machine, any given game, you could lose your money.
00:16:23.400 You could win a couple bucks. You could win like $2 million and it changes your life. Right.
00:16:28.060 And so that's exciting. And then number three, quick repeatability. You can repeat the behavior
00:16:33.160 over and over and over quickly. So with slot machines, people play 16 games a minute on average.
00:16:40.420 Now, the reason that this is important and why we're talking about slot machines is because it's
00:16:46.120 not really about slot machines, right? It's the, uh, that three-part system has been placed in all
00:16:53.180 sorts of different technologies and institutions, uh, today. So basically it's what makes social media
00:16:59.660 work. It's what makes dating apps easy to hook people on. It's being put in the gig economy system.
00:17:05.600 It's being put in, um, a lot of financial apps like Robin hood that increase quick repeatability
00:17:09.940 that explains the rise of sports gambling. So it gets legalized and then we put it into cell
00:17:15.900 phones easily. And we allow people to make multiple bets and sometimes bets down to the
00:17:19.800 second in a game, right. And on and on and on. And so that's a kind of long way of explaining
00:17:25.200 that. I think a lot of these behaviors that we get hooked on and do repeatedly that eventually
00:17:30.480 hurt us. They tend to often fall into that scarcity loop, which is, you know, you've got
00:17:37.720 this like random rewards game that you fall into and there's nothing better at grabbing
00:17:43.020 human attention and holding it than that. And this is even seen in all different animals.
00:17:49.500 Like I talked to the psychologist and he, you can turn a pigeon basically into a degenerate gambler
00:17:56.000 in about two minutes by giving them a game that has this system and works in rats. It works in monkeys.
00:18:01.540 It works in all different animals. And it probably tracks back to finding food in the past. So if you
00:18:06.580 think about our ancestors gathering food, you go to one place, no food, the next place, no food,
00:18:12.560 the next place, no food. You need that food once you're going to survive. So you keep repeating
00:18:16.720 the behavior and repeating the behavior and then jackpot, you finally find it. And that saves your
00:18:20.900 life. And that's so exciting. Right. So it's almost like we're inherently attracted to this,
00:18:25.480 this system. And I think that a lot of times today, since it's been co-opted in a lot of different ways,
00:18:31.500 we're still attracted to it, but it's in these places that we don't necessarily want to be
00:18:35.000 right. It's still like the random rewards are still going to hook our brain, whether it's in
00:18:40.060 actual gambling, whether it's in slot machines, whether it's in the fact that our grocery
00:18:46.440 stores have a billion different choices of chips and like, Oh, I'm going to try this one.
00:18:49.920 This one could be great. Um, whatever it might be. So I don't know if that answered your question,
00:18:54.320 but I do think it provides a sort of underlying framework of how, um, we do have these ancient
00:18:59.260 brains and we do have these habit systems that used to keep us alive in the past and how now when
00:19:04.940 they're applied to these sort of modern environments, they don't always make sense.
00:19:10.100 Yeah. I, you know, it's interesting as you were saying this, I was even thinking I've got a really
00:19:13.540 big hunt. One of my favorite hunts of the year. I even see this in hunting. So I'll go out with a
00:19:17.440 group of buddies and we'll go sit in different tree stands that are on the property. We hunt and
00:19:21.840 you know, you have the opportunity, which is to kill an animal. That's why we're all there.
00:19:25.320 Uh, you have the unpredictable reward because at any given point you could either see a deer or not
00:19:30.080 see a deer or see a big buck or not see a big buck or your buddy's like, Hey, I saw a massive buck
00:19:34.380 over here, but you didn't see anything. So there's that unpredictability. Um, and then the quick
00:19:39.700 repeatability, cause you can go out every day and sit for hours and hours and you'll see something
00:19:44.460 and that'll keep you coming back and back and back golf's the same way. You know, you keep coming
00:19:48.280 back and you hit one good enough shot every once in a while to keep you coming back to this damn
00:19:51.960 game. Uh, and then what I see guys do in the hunting world is, uh, you know, maybe they'll sit
00:19:57.920 over here on the West end of the property, but on the East end of the property, uh, on the cameras
00:20:02.140 is this big buck. And so even though the buck's been coming over on the West end every single day,
00:20:07.220 the next sit, you're going to go over there because the camera picked it up over there.
00:20:11.140 And then he happens to be where you were. And you just end up chasing this buck all over this
00:20:14.860 property. You're all over the place, never finding him with the hopes that you'll get something in
00:20:18.700 return for it. Dude, that that's exactly it. And hunting is a great hunting is like the ultimate
00:20:24.860 example, right there. So the, a lot of these, um, this loop, it appears naturally in nature in a lot
00:20:30.820 of forms. So people who get really into birding, it's like, you want to see some sort of bird,
00:20:35.340 you know, you're going to see a bird at some point, but you don't know if it's going to be like
00:20:38.200 the crow that you see every day, or it could be some super rare bird. Like, Oh my God,
00:20:41.760 I can't believe we saw one of those. Right. Um, and you're just kind of looking and looking,
00:20:45.440 looking it's, um, it's obviously in fishing, right. Toss a line. You don't know, um, if you're
00:20:51.080 going to get a bite. And when the fish is on the line, you're like, well, this is tugging pretty hard.
00:20:55.140 Like, is it a giant or is it just kind of small and strong? Right. You don't know. And there's
00:20:59.060 something inherently attractive about that to humans. And so I think one message that I talked about
00:21:05.200 in the book is like, we know that this scarcity loop behavior will really grab our attention
00:21:10.560 and hold it. And so the question is, how are you going to use it? Because I would argue that when
00:21:16.400 you are falling into a behavior like hunting and being hooked by that, like you're outside,
00:21:20.940 you probably had to hike in to get there. Um, you're doing it with buddies. Like you're getting
00:21:26.140 all these things that are really good for you in the process of this behavior that is kind of
00:21:30.620 addicting. Right. Uh, whereas something like slot machine gambling, it's like you're sitting
00:21:36.500 in a smoky casino. You're probably ripping a Marlboro red. You're probably not hanging out
00:21:42.020 with anyone and it's all inside and you're not moving around. And so, and by the way, you're losing
00:21:46.540 a lot of money in the process. Although one could argue hunting might be more expensive once you add
00:21:50.760 up all the shit you have to buy, but I think it's fine if you're aware of it. Like if you actually
00:21:58.040 know how much you're spending and you're, you think to yourselves consciously, yeah,
00:22:02.460 I'm spending a lot of money. Cause that's different than I'm going to go do this for,
00:22:06.360 you know, 12 hours. Uh, and, and you're not even aware of the amount of money that's burning
00:22:11.480 through your pocket. That's a different story. Right. Right. And so, yeah, one thing I actually,
00:22:16.380 I actually say in the book is that like, I don't care if you want to spend 12 hours on TikTok.
00:22:20.540 I just want you to make the conscious choice to spend 12 hours on TikTok because unfortunately we tend
00:22:26.240 to naturally just sort of zone out when we're in this system. Um, it's sort of like the ultimate
00:22:30.740 fun escape. And I do think you see a lot of people, I mean, I see it in Vegas. It's like
00:22:35.680 someone will look up and be like, wow, I've been on slot machine for three hours. And how much have
00:22:39.220 I spent? But also I would argue that probably everyone listening to this podcast has been on
00:22:44.900 some sort of app on their phone and then like, Oh my God, I was on Instagram for 45 minutes just now.
00:22:51.140 Or I, I've been scrolling through the New York times or the, whatever it is, Fox news for
00:22:56.220 40 minutes down this rabbit hole of a story. And I don't even realize it. So I think really,
00:23:01.160 I'm just trying to get people to be aware of this thing, why they do it and where it lives.
00:23:06.480 Are there general parameters that you would suggest people set up in their life? So for example,
00:23:11.520 you know, you said awareness is key, but let's take social media. Is it just a matter of saying,
00:23:15.620 Hey, I'm going to spend from 9am to 9 30 on social media. And then when 9 30 hits, I'm done.
00:23:20.700 I'm done for the day or I'm done for the morning or, you know, whatever your own parameter is,
00:23:25.400 is that the tactic or is there something else? Yeah, I think, I think that's one of the tactics,
00:23:30.280 really the way that you can reduce a behavior is to take away or change any one of the three parts
00:23:37.200 that it has. So you can take away or change the opportunity. You can take away or change the
00:23:40.860 unpredictable rewards. You can take away or change the quick repeatability. So your example is kind of
00:23:45.660 taking away the quick repeatability, right? Because you're, you've only got a certain time limit.
00:23:49.340 Another example that takes away quick repeatability would be there are certain apps where you have
00:23:55.780 to, when you go to open the app that you find yourself going into too much, it makes you pause
00:24:00.360 for like five seconds. And oftentimes that is enough for people to go, Oh wait, I didn't even
00:24:05.380 really want to be in this app. I just like reflexively checked it. And so you tend to see time go down.
00:24:10.560 It's an app that, that, that builds that function into it. Is that what you're saying?
00:24:14.820 Yeah, exactly. Which when I first heard of this, I was like, so you're telling me that I have to
00:24:19.140 download an app so I can use another app less. And I rolled my eyes. Um, but finally, like the,
00:24:24.360 the, the founder of this, uh, company, the one I was using, I think is called clear space.
00:24:29.200 He was like, dude, just try it. I'm like, okay, I'll try it. And it really is based on behavioral
00:24:33.660 psychology. I mean, it's just, uh, you download this app and then you pick the apps that you want
00:24:38.160 to have to wait to get into. So then when you go to clip, whatever the app is that you're spending
00:24:43.260 too much time in, it could be email, could be Twitter, could be anything. You're going to go,
00:24:47.780 okay. Like it's, it says, do you want to use this app right now? And you go, yes. And you go, okay.
00:24:52.180 You know, three seconds, three seconds goes by. And then it goes, how much time do you want to spend
00:24:56.360 in the app? You got to pick, okay. I want to spend 10 minutes or I want to spend five minutes.
00:24:59.880 I wouldn't do that. I'm not, I'm not doing that app.
00:25:02.100 But if you find yourself stuck, like just spending way too much time on an app, I guarantee you that'll
00:25:07.580 reduce your time because it just takes away. No, that's what I'm saying. I would not do whatever
00:25:11.020 app it's blocking me from. I'm like, I'm out because we want everything immediately. If I can't
00:25:15.920 get on Instagram, when I pull it up, I'll pull up a website and it'll take, you know, seven tenths of
00:25:20.620 a second. I'm like, damn it. What's taking so long? And I catch myself. Exactly. I get, I get so
00:25:27.140 frustrated. It's like, uh, Oh, what's the comedian? Um, Lewis CK or CK Lewis. I don't
00:25:33.260 know what his name is, but he, he, he has this, like this, uh, comedy routine. I think he did it
00:25:38.660 on one of the late night shows and he's like, give it a second. It's going to space, you know,
00:25:42.520 cause somebody was so upset. It wasn't downloading whatever they wanted to immediately. We live in
00:25:47.860 crazy times. That is how it is. Um, yeah. But then another one would be, you could take away
00:25:53.380 the unpredictable rewards. And this is a fun one on, uh, phones. If you turn your phone into
00:25:59.380 grayscale mode where everything on the screen is displayed in, um, white, black, gray, that makes
00:26:05.800 the phone less stimulating because colors stimulate us. They tell us to do things. So you think you see
00:26:10.580 a red sign on the road tells you to stop, right? Um, they stimulate behavior. And so when you take a
00:26:16.560 phone into the grayscale mode, you tend to see screen time go down significantly because the phone has
00:26:21.000 just become far less rewarding, like far less rewarding. It's almost like, Oh my God, this
00:26:25.780 thing is so boring now. Yeah. I imagine the same is true for music. You know, you look at Instagram
00:26:30.980 reels and, and stories and, you know, you can dub the music over the top of it and it makes a clip
00:26:35.700 that was otherwise boring, pretty interesting. And these things tend to go viral. So you take the
00:26:40.120 music out, you're like, that's not nearly as exciting as I thought it was. Yeah, totally. And why,
00:26:45.380 I mean, so, you know, you really see this, um, almost arms race to figure out who can get the
00:26:51.600 most attention grabbing thing. And that's just been climbing and climbing and climbing, especially
00:26:57.520 since the 1800s when we started using the ad model in media. So the first guy who really used the
00:27:03.940 ad model, uh, to make money off a newspaper, he basically realized his name is Benjamin day.
00:27:09.220 He basically realized, okay, if I'm going to make money on advertising, I need the biggest audience.
00:27:15.240 I can get. Right. And then I'm going to take those eyes and I'm going to sell them to an
00:27:20.300 advertiser, but I can charge more, the more people I have. So how do I get as many people
00:27:25.560 to read this newspaper? There's, Oh, I should make it as not boring as possible. I should start
00:27:31.260 covering crazy stuff that will naturally grab human attention. So we start all this stuff,
00:27:36.100 murder, like scandals, all this crazy stuff in New York, uh, which was different than other
00:27:42.560 newspapers were covering at the time. And in about a year, he had the biggest paper in the
00:27:46.060 world. And then it's just been an arms race ever. It was called, uh, the sun, the sun. Okay.
00:27:52.360 Interesting. I was thinking maybe it turned into like national inquire or something like that.
00:27:56.540 Well, they are very good at it. Yeah, that would be, that's the model right there.
00:28:00.340 But now we have it in a world where we have, where you can track every swipe, every pause,
00:28:06.280 everything on an algorithm. Right. And then it kind of just gets floated up into you. So I think
00:28:11.700 we're starting to see like just this, uh, sharpening of the needle there.
00:28:16.980 Well, it's interesting. I have this consultant, this business consultant. He's like, Hey,
00:28:19.780 I need your demographic data. I'm like, all right. Like, what do you need? So he told me and I'm
00:28:23.120 like, okay. And he's like, this way you can come up with better product services offerings,
00:28:26.700 which all makes sense to me. And I can see the value in that. He's like, and then you'll get a
00:28:30.100 very clear picture on who your target customer is, who your ideal audience member is. And then you can
00:28:34.820 speak to them directly. And I'm a, I'm a small fish, right? But when you think about these huge,
00:28:40.080 huge corporations and conglomerates, the amount of money they're pouring in to know their customer,
00:28:45.900 it's the same thing. When you pull up your phone and you've been talking about going on a trip to
00:28:50.040 Hawaii and all of a sudden you're getting bombarded with different ads from these incredible resorts
00:28:55.140 in Hawaii. It's like, how did this know? I don't know. I don't understand. I mean,
00:28:58.840 part of that is my, my, your phone might actually be listening to you, but the other part is it's just
00:29:02.980 behavior. You know, what, what you're doing, what you're looking at, what you're,
00:29:06.080 what you're engaged in and the computer is tracking it. Totally. And I mean, it's one of
00:29:11.460 those where, you know, the example I like to give is when I go on Instagram, I, it just knows what I
00:29:18.420 watch. It knows who I follow. And I get fed so many things, uh, like, especially around the band,
00:29:25.640 the Grateful Dead, who's like my favorite. And if there's like a, if someone puts up like a bootleg
00:29:29.820 tape, like I'm in for watching the whole like five minute, you know, clip or whatever. Then the next
00:29:34.760 one is like, Hey, you need this Grateful Dead sweatshirt from this like show from, you know,
00:29:38.220 1980, whatever. I'm like, Oh man, that's pretty sick. Right. But like no one else in the world
00:29:42.320 is getting the same ad algorithms as I am, you know, for you, it might be like, you're watching
00:29:47.440 a minute long hunting video. And the next thing is like, yo, check out this sick. So yeah, it's one
00:29:54.820 of those where it's like, this product was tailor-made in a lab exactly for my strange personality. And I do
00:30:00.320 like it at the same time. I'm totally creeped out by this whole thing. You know, I mean,
00:30:04.860 it's pretty convenient. I, uh, I bought these, these pants and I'm like, these are good. I like
00:30:10.800 these. I like the fit of these. And all of a sudden I'm getting ads for the same pants that I bought.
00:30:14.160 I don't even know how they got it. And I actually just got them in the mail about 15 minutes before
00:30:18.220 I jumped on this call because I bought the same pants in two new colors, you know, and they just
00:30:22.840 extracted $300 from me, uh, because I bought, you know, two that I actually really liked. I don't even
00:30:28.640 know how they did it, but it happened. Yeah, it happened. And so, you know, one,
00:30:33.600 one portion of the book that I look at, um, cause I'm really kind of looking at, okay,
00:30:38.280 what are the things that humans have sort of evolved to crave and need and it's food, stuff,
00:30:45.680 information, um, status, uh, et cetera. Maybe something like that. Sure. And, um,
00:30:52.620 in the stuff section, I mean, it was just so fascinating because you look at how much people
00:30:57.800 owned even 150 years ago. And, you know, the average person might've owned three outfits
00:31:02.960 and now the average person owns more than a hundred different outfits. Uh, the average
00:31:07.860 home has more than 10,000 items in it. And this is not, yeah, this is not just that, you
00:31:13.220 know, this, this researcher who was looking at all this data, he talked about how a lot
00:31:18.640 of people, you know, shop compulsively cause it's so much easier now. And this is not just
00:31:23.540 a problem for people who have money, like stuff has become so cheap that this has become an issue.
00:31:29.660 This overbuying has become an issue for all economic classes, like for the first time ever,
00:31:35.060 basically. Are you a, uh, are you a proponent then of this minimalistic mindset or movement
00:31:41.620 that we see that I think tends to be, you know, growing in popularity? Uh, so I, I take the framework
00:31:47.820 of, uh, that I find useful is what I call gear, not stuff. So when you look at why people buy
00:31:54.280 things, uh, there's a lot of different reasons. It could be that, um, the thing is a piece of gear
00:32:00.220 that helps you accomplish some larger purpose. It could be that you're getting status from the
00:32:05.180 purchase, right? You know, a Rolex isn't telling you what time it is. It's telling you what time it
00:32:11.140 is, but that's not why you buy Rolex. That's secondary to what the real, the real purchase
00:32:15.660 meant to you. Sure. Exactly. Uh, third people will buy things to belong. So this is like,
00:32:21.120 you're buying some sort of item to kind of be in a specific group that you want to be a part of.
00:32:25.440 And then fourth, I think that people do a lot of buying just because they're bored. And it's like,
00:32:29.280 you got your phone and an ad comes up, which I'm guilty of that. Look at, I got, I got freaking
00:32:34.300 five grateful dead t-shirts in my closet right now. Um, but I try and take the framework of gear,
00:32:39.920 not stuff where every time I'm going to purchase something, I'm like, what, what is the higher
00:32:44.780 purpose of this? What I'm, what is this allowing me to accomplish? And so I think that that framework
00:32:50.200 has just taken out a lot of the purchases I perhaps would have made in the past that wouldn't
00:32:57.300 have really, that were just to make a purchase or to like buy into some idea about, you know,
00:33:02.220 status or belonging or something like that. So I've, I've found that useful.
00:33:07.120 Do you find that alternative, maybe more noble or righteous? I don't even know if that's the right
00:33:13.100 framing. Um, more valuable, maybe more valuable, uh, goals and desires are a good deterrent.
00:33:19.440 So for example, that might be, uh, uh, maybe you want to buy a house and you need to come up with
00:33:25.240 a $40,000 down payment. It is, does that tend to be sufficient enough to say, Hey, I'm not going to
00:33:31.860 go out and buy the grateful dead shirt that I wanted to buy today, or, um, I'm not going to eat out
00:33:36.660 this much this week because I'd like to say that extra a hundred or $200 that I normally spend.
00:33:41.740 Like, is that, is that a tactic that people use? Cause I tend to look at it and think,
00:33:46.320 yeah, I might want to come up with that 40 or $50,000 deposit on the house. But you know,
00:33:51.080 me, me, me going to McDonald's and spending $8. Yeah, that's good. That's okay. I can do that.
00:33:55.200 Like, do you see what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah, I do. I mean, I think some people can be very
00:33:59.780 stringent, but I think for most people, um, stuff is relatively cheap in the grand scheme of things.
00:34:06.140 Um, here's a fun example. People used to burn down buildings in the 1800s just for the nails
00:34:12.620 because nails were so hard to find and so time consuming to make and so expensive. You literally
00:34:17.900 had people like, well, I need some nails. I'm going to go set my neighbor's house on fire
00:34:20.820 so I can get these nails. Now we can make like 400 nails in a single minute off of machines. Right.
00:34:26.300 And they're so cheap. Like go to home Depot and you buy a box of nails for like a buck,
00:34:29.960 two bucks, something, uh, four bucks with inflation, but okay. So I do think that things
00:34:38.320 have become so cheap in a lot of ways, which is good because more people can get what they need,
00:34:44.940 but they've also become so cheap that we all have so much stuff that we don't necessarily need. And
00:34:50.540 that, um, I think that that can just become a hobby in and of itself. It's just buying shit.
00:34:55.820 Yeah. I've noticed for myself personally, and I don't know if this is a mentality or if this is
00:35:02.240 just human nature that when things get cluttered in my life, it's probably not human nature. It's
00:35:07.740 probably more of a personality because I know people who love clutter to the extreme. You see
00:35:12.120 all sorts of hoarder shows on TV and they just hoard everything. Uh, but I, but I tend to look at
00:35:17.620 when, when I have too much stuff in my life, whether that's activities or physical possessions
00:35:24.260 that are just like consuming me, I can't, I can't focus on anything else. Like I would not be able
00:35:29.500 to have this conversation with you as effectively if I had a thousand different things going on in
00:35:33.240 this room that didn't belong there. Yeah, I do. And there is actually research that suggests that
00:35:38.860 people who have a ton of clutter in their office, um, it impacts their thinking. It impacts their,
00:35:44.620 uh, productivity for me. I've definitely found that I do better work if I have fewer things
00:35:51.780 to do. So it may not be as much of a stuff thing for me, but it definitely is a, when the to-do list
00:35:57.280 gets too packed, even if I stack all the crap I have to do later in the day and devote, you know,
00:36:02.960 four hours every morning to writing or whatever it is, that'll still impact my writing. Cause I have
00:36:07.360 all these things that I know are coming up and on my brain. And I find that when I'm able to chop out
00:36:12.140 some of the, the extras, I just have more time to have to think clear, to sort of deal with
00:36:17.760 some of the ideas I have to grapple with as a writer. And, um, I do think it leads to better work.
00:36:23.520 And I do think the trajectory over the last whatever amount of years is that we have a lot
00:36:29.700 of opportunity to pack our schedule. I mean, I think that life was, uh, you know, they, it's a
00:36:34.640 cliche to be like times were simpler back then, but I do think you had less inputs coming into your
00:36:40.120 way in the form of people trying to communicate with you, the things that you could possibly do for
00:36:43.620 a job. Um, the tasks you could be doing all that sort of different things. I think it was a little
00:36:48.160 more straightforward. Guys, let me, uh, pause the conversation as I do every single week.
00:36:54.300 I want to ask you a question. What does it mean to be battle ready? We've all heard that term.
00:36:59.420 Uh, and, and I think we generally know what it means, but I want to share with you what I think
00:37:03.060 it means. And that means that you are prepared and qualified to deal with whatever life has to throw
00:37:08.000 at you, whether it's a divorce and separation or a job loss, a medical diagnosis, maybe a lawsuit,
00:37:14.620 financial troubles, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. I mean, so much stuff happens throughout life and
00:37:19.020 we want you to be ready for those things when they happen, but we're not just talking about playing
00:37:22.760 defense here. Being battle ready is also about going on the offense and accomplishing the goals
00:37:28.460 that you set out for yourself in scientifically proven ways to achieve maximum results. And that's why
00:37:34.960 we created the battle ready program is to help you achieve all that you set out to accomplish
00:37:40.000 in the most efficient and effective ways possible. So when you sign up for our battle ready program,
00:37:45.540 you're going to receive 17 emails over 30 days that will help you identify your goals,
00:37:51.560 break them down into actionable daily steps that will produce results and maintain consistency towards
00:37:57.720 your deepest dreams and ambitions. So I want you to stop sitting around. I know you do too.
00:38:03.640 Stop sitting around and, and, and thinking about and pondering and pontificating about what you want
00:38:08.980 to accomplish and actually start doing something for yourself, for your loved ones. And those who
00:38:14.080 are relying on you to be the man that you are meant to be sign up for our free course. It is free
00:38:18.940 guys, our free course at order of man.com slash battle ready. That's order of man.com slash battle ready.
00:38:24.820 Go ahead and get signed right up after this conversation for now. I'll get back to it with Michael.
00:38:29.060 Have you found any, uh, any, any advice for activities that don't, don't produce immediate
00:38:37.580 results? So for example, when you write the scarcity brain, do you mind if I ask how long
00:38:41.480 that took you roughly to write from start to finish minus the edits and all the, all the stuff,
00:38:46.680 you know, just, just to write it itself. I would say probably two years to write it. And then there
00:38:50.940 was, you know, the year of edits and probably all the publishing nonsense that goes along with
00:38:56.260 getting a book out there. So, so with, with a three year project, essentially is what you're
00:39:01.240 saying. It's like, man, how do you find the motivation to get up and write a thousand words
00:39:07.060 today when you know, that's just a drop in the bucket for what needs to happen. And also you've
00:39:13.720 got plenty of time to make it happen. Right. You have to, you have to actually like the process and
00:39:19.620 enjoy it. Um, I find that some of my happiest times, uh, are when it's, you know, five in the
00:39:25.840 morning and I'm working on a book grappling with a specific idea and trying to figure out how do I
00:39:31.820 make this, how do I write this in a way that's entertaining and digestible? I'll also say some
00:39:36.460 of my most insane moments are at 5.00 AM when I'm writing and trying to make an idea digestible,
00:39:41.640 but it's kind of, well, it's hard, right? I mean, sometimes you're dealing with information that
00:39:49.340 doesn't make sense and trying to be like, how do I explain this in a way that doesn't just put a
00:39:53.920 person to sleep and feel like a textbook. Um, maybe things haven't quite lined up. You're like,
00:40:00.380 you're circling the drain of, I know I can make this idea make sense, but I'm not quite sure how
00:40:08.000 the threads need to be tied yet. Right. This is like tying a ship to a dock. And if I don't use this
00:40:12.840 damn knot, the thing is going to drift off and go away. And like, what is the dot? I got to learn what
00:40:17.620 this knot is in the first place. Then I got to learn how to tie it. Like that's really hard. Um,
00:40:21.580 but ultimately that's, that's very rewarding. And I think you can apply that, um, across the board
00:40:28.100 that if you don't, you have to enjoy what you are working on. That doesn't mean it's always going
00:40:35.940 to be easy, but you have to find the outcome very rewarding, right? There's things that you and I
00:40:41.780 could go do. Like we could go move rocks from point A to point B and it would be challenging,
00:40:48.420 but like, what is the greater purpose? Would that ultimately like give us this large,
00:40:52.460 deeper reward? And the answer is probably not. Right. And so I think you do have to find whatever
00:40:56.240 that thing is for you. It could be building a business. Like for you, I'm sure you've got,
00:40:59.880 um, you know, working on a podcast and building this thing into what it is. I'm sure that you've had
00:41:05.600 a lot of setbacks, but you've also had a lot of times where you're like, Oh my God, this is,
00:41:09.280 this is great. Like I'm, I'm having the time of my life doing this and it's work.
00:41:13.940 Yeah, it is work. And every once in a while I get a piece of feedback or an email from somebody who
00:41:18.380 changed your life around. I'm like, all right, cool. You know, this, this is good. I don't,
00:41:22.580 I've written a couple of books myself, not nearly to the same success that you've had.
00:41:26.660 I hate the process. Like I find it miserable. Um, there, there's nothing about it that is redeeming
00:41:31.860 for me other than being done with the book and knowing that somebody is going to take it
00:41:35.660 and read it. And hopefully their life is going to be a little bit better,
00:41:39.280 because of it. And that that's enough for me to, you know, get me to write a thousand or 1500 words
00:41:44.620 today. So you're, I mean, you're gratification. It sounds like is on a longer, um, delay scale
00:41:52.320 to mine. So I might, it might be 5.00 AM and I wade through some luck for an hour and then the
00:41:58.760 sentence comes together and I'm just like, that's it. And that's my gratification. But for you,
00:42:03.660 you wade through the muck for a year, two years, and then you get that email and then you, that's
00:42:09.420 your, that's it. Right. But there is still some sort of gratification there.
00:42:13.180 I think there's also gratification in the process. Not so much about, well, let me think about this
00:42:17.220 for a second. So with writing the gratification, the process is I did what I said I was going to do.
00:42:22.600 You know, if I, cause I, when I was writing my books, I, I, I wrote, my goal is to write
00:42:27.780 1000 words per day. And regardless, I don't care how I feel. I don't care about the weather. I don't
00:42:33.360 care about what else I have going on. I don't care about any of that. You write a thousand words per
00:42:36.860 day because that's what you committed to doing. And some of those words really good. And some of
00:42:40.680 them were not so good. And some of them got edited and some of them got changed, but my goal was a
00:42:44.020 thousand. And the, the, I did find joy in the sense of accomplishment that came from writing
00:42:51.180 that 1000th word of, of the morning or the afternoon of the day. Yeah. No, that, yeah,
00:42:57.260 that makes sense. I mean, for me, it's I don't have a word limit per day. I mean, some days I'll
00:43:03.240 just get on a heater and it might be a couple thousand. Some days it might be 200 words because
00:43:08.160 I'm trying to figure out, you know, how do I explain it? I might be dealing, I might have to read a
00:43:12.260 certain study, make sure I understand it and then put it into English and that could take four or
00:43:17.340 five hours, you know? Yeah. But yeah, ultimately I do, I do find it rewarding. So, well, you've,
00:43:24.440 you've hit the New York times. I haven't. So maybe I ought to be taking advice from you,
00:43:28.140 not thinking about my, my own way of doing it. Well, when I start a podcast, I'll probably
00:43:34.320 be like you with writing and be like, this is hard and I'll have to hit you up for advice.
00:43:39.820 Yeah. We'll trade industry secrets. Um, one of the chapters you talk about in the book is
00:43:44.260 that the concept of influence. I'm really interested in that because, um, I, I do want
00:43:49.100 to be influential, uh, specifically and mainly influential in lives of my children. Like if I
00:43:54.780 had to select a group of people, I want to be most influential with it's them. Uh, but also I do want
00:44:00.520 to be influential with my guests, guys like you, I want to be influential with the guys who get
00:44:05.640 involved with our movement and buy our products and services and offerings and come to our events.
00:44:09.780 So I'm really curious your take on influence and is it a worthy ambition? When does it become too
00:44:14.840 much? That sort of thing. Yeah, I think, uh, I mean, the reason that people want to be influential
00:44:21.800 is, um, it's always kind of given us a boost in life. You know, in the past, if you were a person who
00:44:28.580 was more influential in your tribe, that probably got you out of crappy menial labor. It probably got you
00:44:34.040 the bigger cut of meat. It probably got you, you know, a couple more partners to procreate with
00:44:40.260 that sort of thing. So I think that we did evolve to sort of crave, uh, influence and status.
00:44:46.500 And you still see that today. So when you look at, uh, research on health outcomes, a big predictor
00:44:53.060 of health outcomes is, um, a person's status. And this holds even in countries where they have
00:44:58.860 universal medicine. So people who are wealthier, who are generally living the higher status part of,
00:45:03.340 uh, neighborhood or whatever, even though they're seeing the same doctors, they have better outcomes
00:45:07.340 than the people who are lower status. So it definitely affects us because we're social
00:45:11.080 creatures. And so for me though, I think that, um, one thing that's interesting about today is,
00:45:16.300 you know, in the past, it might've been that you could only influence say a hundred,
00:45:19.920 a hundred people, 150 people, whatever your, um, group was. And now it's sort of in this realm where
00:45:26.360 you could influence millions of people in a single, in a single tweet. Right. And it's all quantified.
00:45:30.980 It's all gamified. You know, exactly what your influence is. If you're buying into say,
00:45:35.200 you know, I'm, I'm measuring this with the number of followers I have, or the number of
00:45:39.440 people who liked my tweet or whatever it might be. And I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing,
00:45:45.140 but I do think that we need to be a little bit careful about how we use it. So I think it,
00:45:51.740 I think that craving status can be good to a point, but eventually it backfires because it's kind
00:45:56.580 of a moving target, right? Once you get the, once you get that much status, you want a little more,
00:46:00.960 you want a little more, and that can lead us into things that are not always good. So there's a
00:46:05.760 researcher I talked to, whose name is Jessica Tracy, who she researches pride. And she talks
00:46:11.420 about how there's really two types of pride. There's what she calls authentic pride, which is
00:46:15.840 when we do something that is a good and we feel this sort of great feelings of pride. Right. And it
00:46:22.460 doesn't matter if someone saw us do that or not. Like it's this useful contribution we made, right?
00:46:27.260 Something earned great way to put it. Yep. And then the other is inauthentic, which is essentially
00:46:31.980 unearned. That's when we can advertise ourself when we're trying to sort of front that we're someone
00:46:36.540 we're not and better than we actually are, or have accomplished something great when we haven't.
00:46:40.940 And I think that, uh, today it's easier to, for people to sort of blast out that inauthentic
00:46:47.480 pride, that sort of unearned, because you can put whatever you want on social media. And in a lot of
00:46:52.120 ways we all advertise our life on social media, if we use it, right, we're usually not taking the
00:46:56.720 photo of ourselves where we look like absolute shit and we're out like, you know, picking up the
00:47:01.540 dog crap in the backyard. It's a, so it's a, it's a strange world. And I think we're all having to
00:47:07.220 kind of navigate. What does that really mean? I look, I'm going to say something controversial,
00:47:12.140 but I think about this when it comes to the LGBTQ, whatever agenda, it's like, if you were born
00:47:17.080 that way, which is the argument, then what are you proud about? There's nothing, that's nothing you
00:47:20.980 did. That's nothing you chose. So like why the excessive pride, you know, I don't, I don't
00:47:26.420 necessarily take pride in being a straight, a straight man because like this is how I was born.
00:47:32.540 Like this, there's nothing I earned. So it's interesting when we see it, I'm using that as
00:47:36.380 an example, but it is interesting when we boost ourselves up and prop ourselves up on something
00:47:41.500 that we didn't actually go out and do like run a marathon, uh, or lose 100 pounds or, you
00:47:48.360 know, bring happiness to a bunch of people, uh, or donate to an organization or charity, which I
00:47:53.760 think is, is significantly greater than, Hey, here's what I look like, or here's how I am. And
00:47:58.700 I'm just proud of that. Yeah, I can see your argument. I mean, I think probably when you see
00:48:06.380 that sort of, um, advertising of oneself, it's often a reaction to, uh, having felt suppressed for that
00:48:14.640 for a period of time. So, you know, from, from their perspective, they might be like, well, this
00:48:19.600 is something I can never talk about. And I never could even be proud of if I wanted to, because
00:48:23.480 society suppressed that part of me for so long. And that, so I've been constrained. Now I'm having
00:48:28.860 the equal opposite reaction of unleashing it, if that makes sense. Yeah, that makes sense. A reaction
00:48:34.580 or response to not being able to be so open about some of those things in the past or other people
00:48:40.300 who have not been able to do those things. Yeah. Yeah. And then, I mean, and then that opens up,
00:48:45.200 uh, you know, larger, I think debates and questions about at what point does it become an overreaction?
00:48:52.100 What is the appropriate reaction to that? Do we overcorrect? And then once we overcorrect,
00:48:56.380 how do we correct back? And I do think that, um, to quote, uh, Martin Luther King, it's like this long
00:49:03.660 bend towards finding what, um, what the right answer is for these types of things, you know?
00:49:10.960 I had a really interesting interaction in a, in a convenience store, not too long ago.
00:49:16.080 Um, there was a woman working there and she had like, her hair was interesting. It looked nice.
00:49:19.640 It was interesting. I said, I really like your hair. And she said, thanks. I grew up myself.
00:49:24.680 And, uh, you know, she was just being funny. And, and I thought it's a really good answer. Like
00:49:29.580 there isn't anything special. Like it just grew, you know, like she, she was funny. She liked the way it
00:49:35.940 was, but she wasn't overly boisterous or proud about it because it's just the natural
00:49:39.800 state of things. Like it wasn't a big deal. And I'm like, you know, I really appreciate that answer.
00:49:44.660 That's awesome, dude. I love that. I'm going to remember that one. That's killer.
00:49:48.300 Yeah. Yeah. What a cool person.
00:49:51.960 I mean, yeah, really cool. And I think those are the people that we appreciate most is that
00:49:56.200 they have something unique or interesting or special or something that stands out about them,
00:50:00.300 whether it's just who they are inherently or something they've worked on. Uh, but somebody who's
00:50:05.260 not overly boisterous or proud about it, uh, they're just, they're just, they're just exercising
00:50:11.160 humility and, and they're enjoyable to be around. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Totally. I'm with you.
00:50:18.160 Hmm. How do you, uh, so in the book itself, you talk about fixing this craving mindset. Are there
00:50:24.540 some strategies that you would suggest that we do or implement on a, on a daily basis, or is it just
00:50:31.580 being aware of it that, that we can do in order to not be so desirous of things that we don't really
00:50:37.980 need to desire or crave after? Yeah. Um, I think awareness helps. I think, um, what I mentioned
00:50:44.540 before finding, if you can, uh, change or get rid of any of those three parts of the loop. And then I
00:50:53.340 think the third thing that I found to be really interesting when I was reporting this book is that,
00:50:58.040 um, so I mentioned how that guy can make these, uh, pigeons basically turn them into these
00:51:03.740 degenerate gambler pigeons, right? With this, they'll choose this gambling game over a game that
00:51:08.320 actually gets them more food over time. Um, but what this guy found is, so normally these pigeons,
00:51:13.920 they live in these small cages, right? And they think they're fine, whatever. Uh, but when they put
00:51:19.060 these pigeons in an environment, it was more like their kind of natural environment where they had to
00:51:23.660 work, they had to build nests. They had, they could live like a pigeon normally would. They could
00:51:27.360 interact with other pigeons. Then they put them back in the, in the game where they can choose.
00:51:32.640 Are you going to play the optimal game or are you going to play the basically pigeon slot machine
00:51:36.080 game? And what they found is that all the pigeons started playing the game that actually got them,
00:51:41.320 um, more food. That was the more rational game. So they didn't want to distract themselves with this
00:51:46.360 sort of scarcity loop gambling game. And the guy who did all this research and who I was talking to,
00:51:54.080 he then kind of made the comparison to humans. He just went right away and was like,
00:51:57.160 you know, and I think that you, you see this in humans as well. It's like when we are living a
00:52:02.760 life that isn't kind of a, a good fit for us, when we're not doing things that challenge us,
00:52:07.880 we're not having to work to survive when we're not doing these things that we almost kind of would
00:52:12.240 have done forever. Um, we start to look for stimulation in other ways. We might drink,
00:52:18.060 we might gamble, we might, um, you know, get super obsessive about work. We might like,
00:52:22.920 there's all these different things we can do to distract ourself. And so for me, my takeaway was,
00:52:27.440 um, you kind of have to find some higher purpose that, you know, is going to be rewarding and lean
00:52:34.320 into that. And oftentimes when you're doing those sort of behaviors that can be counterproductive
00:52:39.080 in the longterm, that's usually a signal that there might be something underlying. You might be
00:52:43.240 in the cage. You might be in a small cage. You need to figure out, well, where the hell is my big
00:52:46.900 cage? And how do I get into that?
00:52:48.140 How do you, how do you develop that though? Because I mean, I don't think that's new information
00:52:53.340 necessarily, you know, especially in the self-help space and world, people say, Oh, you find your
00:52:57.540 calling, discover your purpose. That isn't new information, but I still find so many men who
00:53:02.620 have a hard time uncovering it, even myself. Now I've found it, uh, and I feel fortunate and blessed.
00:53:08.780 I've worked really, really hard to explore a lot of different veins and move towards things that
00:53:16.500 I didn't really feel like may turn out, but I had some level of interest in, and they developed
00:53:21.220 into essentially what you see now. And I feel very fortunate, but a lot of guys just haven't,
00:53:25.720 haven't been able to achieve that and find that to be pretty elusive.
00:53:28.900 Yeah. I think you got to try stuff. I think you got to try different stuff. I mean, I, you know,
00:53:33.360 there's a lot of things that you can do, even if you're not going to quit your job and do something
00:53:37.000 crazy. I mean, I do think that we know that, um, doing things in nature, for example,
00:53:43.480 tends to be rewarding to humans, especially if there's a level of challenge to that. I think
00:53:48.060 it's finding ways to get out of yourself, which that could be some sort of volunteering. You do
00:53:53.700 some sort of side project that really gives you, um, rewards. And I think it ultimately is a search.
00:53:59.800 I mean, that's the whole, it's the whole backbone of religion, right? So it's a search. We're searching
00:54:06.600 for some answer to these, like things that we have about being a human, which is that we,
00:54:12.560 we often aren't satisfied. And, but I do think that the search is worth going on and trying to
00:54:17.540 trying different things and saying what works for you, because if, if it is just, well, I don't know
00:54:22.540 what it is and I'm not going to do anything about it. Well, you're, you're going to be stuck either
00:54:25.640 way. And you've only got, you know, as far as I know, one shot at life, it's like, try stuff,
00:54:30.380 see, see what works, see what doesn't work. The whole point is the search.
00:54:35.780 That is interesting because I think there's so many things in life and some of them are noble and some of
00:54:40.700 them aren't that are designed to keep us from searching. I think about, for example, something
00:54:45.420 that might be noble as a marriage, uh, where you as a man might feel the desire to go out and be
00:54:51.740 ambitious or start something new or start a business. And your wife might be more interested
00:54:55.340 in the status quo. And I'm not even saying that negatively. She's very consumed with safety and
00:55:00.580 security and stability. And you going out to start a business does not represent any of those things,
00:55:07.000 right? So she may not be interested in you quote unquote searching. Um, I think there's other
00:55:13.100 powers that be, maybe it's even the government to a degree who's not interested in a man, a strong,
00:55:19.580 independent, resilient man going out and searching and finding his own way and becoming sovereign in a
00:55:25.200 lot of ways because he's unpredictable and he's harder to control. So there is a lot at work against
00:55:31.240 us both noble and, and not so noble, uh, that keep us from going out there and searching and trying to
00:55:40.120 find a path for ourselves. Yeah, I think so. And I think that as you see, a lot of this is determined,
00:55:45.820 um, by technology. So basically the more technology you insert into life, the more you have to abide by
00:55:52.380 some sort of system because you start to need rules. I mean, just think of something as simple as the
00:55:57.540 car. It's like, once we invent the car, it's like, okay, well now we have all these people
00:56:02.040 just driving around. We can't have that. So we got to have roads and then we got to have like this
00:56:05.900 law. Then we got to have that law. Then we got to, okay, well now you got to pay to park it. Now
00:56:08.880 you got to do all these different things as a result of this single technology. And I do think that
00:56:13.160 the more tech that we have in our life, the more constrained we can often be, which is just kind of
00:56:18.400 part of living in this system. But I do think it's a noble fight to try and find the things that are
00:56:25.500 going to allow you to, um, feel like you're doing the thing that you want to be doing.
00:56:30.580 Like you've got some real purpose and oomph behind your life. Yeah. Yeah. And I think when you find
00:56:37.000 that, um, things begin to unfold in a different way than they did before, you know, and, and I don't
00:56:43.220 think things necessarily become easier, but the path becomes clearer, which gives you the mindset and
00:56:49.500 the fortitude to be able to continue on in the face of challenges and adversities. You know,
00:56:53.600 I've had my own share, fair share of challenges and adversities over the past year and a half, but
00:56:57.720 I'm plowing through them because I realized the importance of being a good father. Uh, I realized
00:57:02.200 the importance of the work that we're doing here. And so I'm not free of hardship. I just can see past
00:57:06.820 it and plow through it. Yeah, totally. And you know, the hardship is going to give you perspective too,
00:57:12.720 that, um, enhances your life probably in the longterm. You know, I don't think people learn from times
00:57:19.080 when they have no problems, there's no impetus to change. There's no, you know, whatever. It's
00:57:24.800 always, you look at all the ancient myths. It's always, you know, the, the main character things
00:57:28.720 are great in their life until they're not. And then when they're not, they go on this journey of
00:57:33.140 that is ultimately, uh, an inner journey of self-discovery and learning new tools that allow
00:57:40.500 them to go back into normal life and be a better human, uh, that enhances themselves, uh, their future
00:57:47.220 and the community around them as well. Excellent. Well, Michael, I appreciate this conversation,
00:57:52.560 man. Um, I love your work. I love the book, the scarcity brain comfort crisis is your previous
00:57:57.020 book. Read that book, of course, had you on to talk about that as well. Um, why don't you let the guys
00:58:01.280 know where to connect with you? And then, uh, is there any way you could give us a sneak peek into
00:58:06.420 what might be coming down the pike? Like I'm sure, cause you talked about this being a three-year
00:58:11.260 project. If I do my math correctly, you're writing this book even before the comfort crisis came out.
00:58:16.660 So I'm curious about what might be next. Yeah. Well, I, you know, the publisher is asking me
00:58:23.740 when's the third book and I haven't, uh, I've been thinking about it, but a lot of what I spend my time
00:58:28.060 on now is I have a sub stack that it's, uh, it's called 2% and it's at twopct.com. And it covers a
00:58:34.920 lot of what I write about in my books, but, um, it comes out three times a week so that, you know,
00:58:40.700 the upside of books is that, um, you kind of have this one tome where everything is,
00:58:46.020 but I do think that it's really fun for me to write in sort of present tense and have more back
00:58:51.760 and forth with the people with common interests. So writing three times a week, uh, via sub stack
00:58:57.220 has been an awesome way to do that. And it kind of allows me to write in the present tense and get
00:59:01.980 thoughts out while I have them and while they're relevant. And so that's been a, that's been a fun
00:59:05.760 project for sure. Awesome. Awesome. We'll send guys over there. Michael, I appreciate you again
00:59:11.460 and your work. Thank you for joining me on the podcast today. Yeah. Thanks a lot, man. I appreciate
00:59:15.760 it. Gentlemen, there you go. My conversation with the one and only and New York times bestselling
00:59:20.960 author recently dubbed New York times bestselling author, Michael Easter. Please, if you would let him
00:59:26.240 know that you heard this podcast, not only does that help him acknowledge and recognize that the work
00:59:32.380 he's doing is valuable and it's, it's making an impact, but it lets him know that you heard it
00:59:37.020 here. And when we go out and do that, it helps us secure better podcast guests because they're going
00:59:41.620 to get the, the recognition and the, in the book sales and, and the, uh, acknowledgement that these
00:59:47.440 guys are, are after. It's not just about that, but they are promoting a book. They are promoting
00:59:52.120 services and just sharing with him that you heard him on the order man podcast goes a long way for him
00:59:57.180 and it goes a long way for us. It's a great way to say thank you for what we're doing here.
01:00:00.440 Also along those same lines, just go ahead and take a screenshot right now before you move on to the
01:00:05.360 next podcast or move on to work or your, your training regimen or whatever it is you're going
01:00:09.400 to move on to. Just take a screenshot, tag Michael Easter, tag myself, post it up on Facebook,
01:00:13.860 Twitter, X, YouTube, I don't know what threads, uh, where else? TikTok, wherever you are, just post
01:00:21.440 it up, tag me, tag Michael, let people know what you're listening to. And then also, as I mentioned
01:00:26.560 earlier, check out the battle ready program at order man.com slash battle ready. Get
01:00:30.280 yourself battle ready defense and offense to improve your life in scientifically proven ways
01:00:35.360 to make this happen. Uh, last thing I just want to mention real quick is my good friends over at
01:00:39.440 Montana knife company. They're making incredible 100% made and sourced in America knives. I use all
01:00:45.200 of their knives for hunting and for cooking, which I've been getting into. My daughter, in fact,
01:00:50.280 wants to start a cooking channel with me, a cooking project. So stay tuned because her and I have
01:00:56.240 some good ideas on that. Anyways, guys, that's what I've got for you today. We'll be back tomorrow
01:01:00.360 for our ask me anything until then go out there, take action, conquer that scarcity brain and become
01:01:07.080 the man you are meant to be. Thank you for listening to the order of man podcast. You're ready to take
01:01:12.220 charge of your life and be more of the man you were meant to be. We invite you to join the order
01:01:16.860 of man.com.