Mind the Opportunity Gaps, What Makes a Powerful Question, and What Every Man is Searching For | ASK ME ANYTHING
Episode Stats
Length
1 hour and 23 minutes
Words per Minute
177.19914
Summary
You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest. Embrace your fears, and boldly chart your own path. When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time. You are not easily deterred or defeated. Resilient. Strong. This is your life, this is who you are. And at the end of the day, and after all is said and done, you can call yourself a man.
Transcript
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You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest. Embrace your fears and boldly chart your own path.
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When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time. Every time.
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You are not easily deterred or defeated. Rugged. Resilient. Strong.
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This is your life. This is who you are. This is who you will become.
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At the end of the day, and after all is said and done, you can call yourself a man.
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Kip, what's up man? It's good to see you. Good to be back. I'm in a better mood today.
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I was in a very bad mood last week. Oh, I was in a bad mood.
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This week, I'm in a better mood, but I'm like, hurry, let's do this. Let's get it all done.
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Because I was gone all of last week. So today, I'm playing catch up.
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And I'm in a good mood, but I got a lot of stuff to do today. So let's crank it out.
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Yeah, exactly. I got home at, I think, 3 a.m. yesterday. Traveling is horrible, just generally.
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But lately, it's even more horrible with airlines and staff shortages and fuel prices.
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I mean, the cost of what I paid for my son and I to get to Texas. And granted, I'll take some
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ownership. I delayed that stuff. I think we booked our flights four days maybe or so before we were
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supposed to go down there because I hate the logistical side of things. I have two incredible
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women helping me on that aspect of my life. Brandy, who helps with all the podcasting stuff.
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And then my beautiful wife. Between both of them, they still have a hard time reining me in when it
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comes to logistics of things. But yeah, it's horrible. And then we fly into Dallas. And then
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our flight from Dallas to North Carolina was late. First, it said a half an hour. Then it was 40 minutes.
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Then it was 50 minutes. Then it was 60 minutes. I'm like, bro, I don't think we're going to hit
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our next flight from North Carolina to Maine. But we made it work. We put the hustle in. We made it
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work. The biggest thing that we were frustrated about, my son and I, is that we had 90 pounds of
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pork. We had 90 pounds of pig meat. And if we missed our flight, that meat was ruined.
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Yeah. The short window to make that work out well for you.
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Yeah. Yeah. And if we missed that flight, that meat's going bad. And I was thinking about it.
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I'm like, if it goes bad, what do I do with it? And I thought, I'm going to leave with the airline.
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That's their problem. They can deal with it. Their ones got me late. They can deal with that shit,
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Yeah. It would be so funny because they're like, you know what? It smells like death in
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Yeah. We actually had, I had a friend of mine who we, we, we've been friends for probably two
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decades at this point, at least. Yeah. And we've hunted together. We went to Hawaii together last
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year and hunted, um, access deer out there. And he's got, he bought, I don't, I don't know. He's,
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he's, he's independently wealthy. He's very successful. I think he bought a boat in Alaska
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or something or bought in, I don't know. I don't know what he did, but he's always in Alaska fishing.
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And so he sent me some halibut from Alaska to Maine and the post office called me. This was last
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year. I said, Hey, we have a package here and it's leaking. Would you like to pick it up? And I said,
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no, I don't want to pick it up. I said, just throw it away because I knew exactly what it was. So
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they threw it away. And unfortunately I didn't get my halibut from Alaska last year, but that's
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funny. You know, you better do it on ice. No, it was leaking. Cause it took too long to get here
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and it thawed out. And it was, I don't know if it was the ice or if the halibut, I don't know how
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even packaged it. I don't even, I didn't even open it. I didn't even get it. Cause I said, you guys
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dispose of it. I'm not doing it. So they did. The joys of hunting. I'll tell you what, if you're
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an outfitter or a guide of some sort, and you're listening to this, I'll tell you the biggest thing
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that you can do that. This is a gap. I'm always looking for gaps because I'm a marketer. I'm an
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entrepreneur. I'm like, where's the gap? Like, what can I do to improve this? I'll tell you where the
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gap is for you outfitters and guides. If you get the shipping stuff dialed in, you'll sell out every
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hunt from here till forever. Cause every hunt I've been on, I go on a hunt and I kill an animal
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and I'm like, Hey, what do I do with the meat? They're like, I don't know. I go, really? Like,
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you didn't think about that. You didn't think about how I might get my, my meat back to wherever I am.
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Maybe you ought to think about that. And look, is it, you might say, well, it's not my responsibility.
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I showed you how to kill it and what it's not. But if you lock that in, you'd make yourself
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indispensable. That's all I'm going to say. Look for the gaps, fill the gaps. That's where the
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opportunities lie. There you go. So we'll take after it or get after it. Take care of that.
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All right, man. Well, let's get to some questions today. Yeah. So we're building questions from Facebook
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to join us there. Facebook.com slash group slash order of man. All right. Nick Perry,
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your thoughts around a father's role in addressing their teenage child's depression.
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My thoughts on their role. I mean, obviously the role is integral. You know, I, I, I think that goes
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without saying like, it's, it's your job. I think there's a better question in here. That's, that's
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really something I want you guys to focus on actually is asking better questions, like your
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thoughts. I can appreciate that you're curious about it, but I don't know where to take that.
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So one of my favorite quotes is the quality of your life will be determined by the quality of
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questions you ask. It's not a high quality question. It's an important question. I'm not
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saying that it's a very important question. It's just not a great question because I don't know what
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you're talking about. Yeah. Like, are you, are you asking me, do I think they should get therapy?
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Are you asking me what I think they should do? Are you asking me if depression is real? Are you at like,
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what exactly are you asking me? How should the child? Yeah. So many different things. So the first
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thing I would say before I get into what I would interpret as, as his motive is ask good questions,
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guys, be specific, be relevant. Give me any con not overly contextual, but any context that I actually
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need to be able to answer the question. And then I can give you a more formulated answer that will
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actually put you in a better position. If you just say thoughts, like, I don't, I don't know what
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you're looking for. So in the spirit of what I think you're looking for is if I had to interpret
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it, I would say, you're asking me how I would handle a situation. If a child of mine had depression,
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I think that's how I would interpret that. Yeah. And, and to be fully transparent,
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I added your thoughts. His original question was a father's role in addressing their teenage
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child's depression. So I was like, well, your thoughts, maybe so.
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Yeah. So like that, the answer to that question could literally be, I think it's important.
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Yeah. Yeah. Totally. Right. And, and so, but that's not what you're looking for.
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So if you want, so I think a lot of the times that we're deviating from the question, what can I
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promise you brother, we're going to get to it, but this is very important. You guys need to ask for
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what you want. And if you don't ask for what you want, you're not going to get it. So if you want a
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promotion at work, you better ask for a promotion. Like none of this bullshit about like hemming and
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hawing around like, Oh, how could I be more valuable? What can I do? And no, like, Hey Kip,
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you're my supervisor. I've been working here for three years. And here's X, Y, and Z that I've done.
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And I would like to be promoted to this new opening that is available. And here's why I think I'm
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valuable. And will you promote me to that position? Yeah. Like guys, like grab life by the
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balls, please. For once you want to change your life. This is the single greatest thing you can do.
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If you're one of our young brothers who are single, or maybe you're not so young, you know,
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40 years old for myself. And you recently went through a divorce or maybe you've never been married
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at all. And you really have this woman that you're interested in grab life by the balls. And actually
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I go up to that woman and say, I would really like to take you out on a date. Will you join me for
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dinner this weekend? Or if you've been dating a woman for months and you, you love her and you
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want to spend time with her and you want to be with her forever, man, ask her, Hey, I want to be
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with you for the rest of my life. I can, I can see this. I know I want this and I know what we can
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create together. Will you marry me? Gosh, dang, man, like grow, grow some balls. If, if you've got
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a wife and maybe you're not as intimate. Okay. I'm going to share something personal right here.
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So I got home after being gone for a week last night at 2 AM. My wife was asleep on the couch,
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but you know what? We were intimate last night because that's what I wanted.
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I wasn't taking no for an answer. All right. And please don't misinterpret what I'm saying here.
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I'm not saying take advantage of women. Some of you assholes are going to interpret it like that,
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but I'm not taking no for an answer because I'm assertive enough to go after what I want.
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And what I wanted last night was her, my wife. I wanted to be intimate and sexual with her.
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And guess what? The deed was done. Yeah. Okay. Like I, I don't talk about that a whole lot because
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I try to respect my wife in that context, but I think it's important for you guys to understand
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that if you want something, you got to go after it. Like nobody's going to guess, nobody's going to
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hand it to you. Nobody's going to give it to you. No, nobody's going to try to assume what you mean
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or read through the lines, like get what you want. Okay. Now to come back to your question about
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thoughts about children and depression, what are you asking me? What I'm going to interpret
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is how would you deal with it? What I would personally do is I would spend a boatload of time
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with my child being engaged, being present, teaching. I went on this hunt with my oldest son
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and we were gone for about five or six days. And we had real conversations about girls and life and
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what do you wanted to do? And we joked and we teased each other and we told stories and we watched
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video footage from the hunt and we laughed at each other and we teased each other. And we said,
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that was a good shot. Good, good job. Well done. Um, and I was just present.
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Now, if we have something that's a little bit more extreme, like something where it's, you know,
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clinical depression, for example, then there might be an instance that I read through some of these
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questions. I think this is going to hit on something a little bit later that you're going to bring up
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is where you just need to get out of the way and realize your own limitations. So if I have a child
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who's dealing with some real mental issues or depression or even suicidal thoughts, then I need
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to be strong and bold and courageous enough and confident enough in myself to just get out of the
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way and bring a third party in, in this case, a therapist. So are we talking about a child who
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is dealing with the frustration and confusion and anguish of turning into a young daughter or excuse
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me, a young lady or a young man into a man or a woman? And that's something you can certainly deal
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with. Or are we talking about something that is, you know, clinically diagnosed as being suicidal or
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depressed? And that's an entirely different issue. And then we bring in third party resources to help
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out with some of that stuff. And we shouldn't be intimidated by that. The only reason you'd be
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intimidated by that is because you care more about yourself than you do about the people in your life.
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Like if I'm in Tim, so I'm going to jump ahead to that question. I think there was a question later
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about how do you bring other people into his life or something like that along those lines?
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I, my, my oldest son. Yeah. My oldest son has, um, uh, a strength coach. He has power. My oldest son
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does powerlifting. And so I have another coach, a coach who actually teaches him and guides him and
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instructs him. I can't do that. Like, I don't, I don't know enough about that. Now, if I was so ego
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centered to believe that I had to have all the answers, then I would be doing my son a disservice,
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but instead I decided to get out of the way and bring somebody else in who is uniquely qualified
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to offer that training to him. And he's infinitely better served than what I could do for him.
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So we need to be aware of that when it comes to the depression,
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suicidal thoughts side of things, all of that as well.
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Peyton Owens, what's your take on helping a family member who's addicted to drugs and a criminal?
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My family always tells him, go get rehab, do this, do that for someone who is deep in his ways and
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surely against taking accountability. That angle of approach doesn't hit home with him.
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I haven't spoken with him in a long time, but recently I decided to take him fishing to show him
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that people are actually cool and life can be happy. Ultimately, I'm trying to get him to turn
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himself into, I'm trying to get him to turn himself in because he's a fugitive. Any thoughts or advice?
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I've always just accepted his way and detached myself, but I want to provide some value to him
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and care again. Listen to the terminology you just used. I'm trying to get him to dot, dot, dot.
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Yeah. You can't. You can't. All you can do is influence. That's all you can do. And for you to
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take him fishing, that's a very influential moment. I think that's well played. I would commend you for
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that. You took the family member fishing and I don't know what you guys talked about, but maybe
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you talked about his issues. Maybe you didn't. I don't even think you necessarily need to. You
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know, you just be there. You be for him. You be there for him. You show him or her. I don't know
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if it's a male or female, him or her, how important they are and that you value them, that you care
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about them, that you want to be with them, that you want to serve them. So I think what you did is
00:16:01.120
exactly right. The problem with high achieving men is that doing the right thing doesn't always
00:16:06.180
produce immediate results. You know, so if you go to the gym and you're 40 pounds overweight,
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you know, you might see some nominal results over the next couple of weeks, but it isn't going to be
00:16:17.720
what you want. And that's the blessing and the curse. The blessing is that you're motivated. You're
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like, no, I want more. And that's a blessing. The curse is it doesn't come fast enough. And so for
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somebody like yourself who cares deeply about a family member, the blessing is that you actually care.
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Like that's beautiful. That's a great thing. The curse is that you can't control this person.
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So you can go, it reminds me of, um, is it, it's hitch the movie hitch with Will Smith. Have you ever
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seen that? Yeah. It's like a superhero of some sort, right? Is that hit? No, no. Hitch is where he,
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like, he's a, he's like a love doctor and he like, Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I'm
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saying? He connects. Yeah. Yeah. I remember. And he has a funny scene with,
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the guy, I don't even know the guy's name. He has a funny scene with the other guy in the movie.
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And he's teaching him about how the first kiss after the date, when you walk the woman to the
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doorstep works and he like, he's role-playing with a guy. Yeah. Yeah. Kevin, something is a Kevin.
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I don't know. He's role-playing with the guy and he's like, okay, now if you're the man,
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you go 80% and you let the woman come 20%. And so he goes 80% Will Smith. Cause he's role-playing
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goes 80%. And he's like, and you let the other person come 20%. And then they end up kissing,
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you know? Yeah. Yeah. And he's like, no, I told you go 80%. You don't go the full 100%.
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Yeah. This is the same scenario. You don't go a hundred percent. You go as much as you can,
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but you got to understand that they have to come a little bit of the way and it sucks when they don't,
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but that's not your responsibility. Totally. Totally. I like a hundred percent.
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You're going to burn yourself out. You're going to burn yourself up and you're not going to be
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able to serve anybody. So you find whatever that appropriate number is. I don't know if it's 40.
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I don't know if it's 50. I don't know if it's 80, but look, if they're not willing to invest in
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themselves to some degree, whether they're a drug addict or, or they, they abuse alcohol or they have
00:18:24.100
mental illness, whatever, if they're not willing to come some portion of the way, gosh, there's only
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so much you can do. Totally. Totally. And I think you're going to set unfair expectations or even
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have a covert contract when you go a hundred, right? If you're like, okay, I'm going to do this and
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they're going to change. And when they don't, then what? Right? Like, I actually really liked what
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Peyton said in his last sentence. He said, I've always just accepted his ways. And then he adds,
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and then I detached myself. I'm not saying you have to accept his ways as in being okay,
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but there's huge power in saying, Hey, you know what, brother, I'm going to love you as a family
00:19:03.680
member. I'm here for you when you need it. I care about you. I unconditionally from the perspective
00:19:10.440
of, Hey, you can keep being a dipshit and do horrible, you know, things and mess up your life.
00:19:17.140
But guess what? You know, I'm willing to take you fishing regardless, you know, and you don't have
00:19:22.820
to detach yourself. Now we've talked about there's, there's always some kind of some dangers and
00:19:27.240
boundaries, and you don't want to have a relationship that's affecting maybe you or
00:19:31.400
your family in a negative way. And so there's some balance there, but there's huge power in just
00:19:35.460
accepting someone for the way they are without the reasons and the excuses and the preconceived notions
00:19:40.720
that they need to be changed or be somewhere else. And let's be honest. That's a powerful
00:19:45.900
relationship, right? If I know Ryan, that you care for me, not because, you know, I have to change or
00:19:52.160
I have to be a certain way for you to actually even be my friend. Well, what kind of friendship
00:19:56.480
is that to begin with anyway? Right. And so there's some power to stand for him in spite of his,
00:20:02.700
his differences and be there to support him. Thoughts still Ryan on this, because I've, I've given a
00:20:07.960
lot of thought about, cause we always, we go to this, right? We go to lighthouse, tugboat,
00:20:13.420
be a good example. But, but I do think there's some value in what causes someone to change,
00:20:19.280
right? And, and really the first couple of steps of that is their realization that there's a problem
00:20:25.000
is the first step. And usually the second step is getting clear on the impact of their way of being.
00:20:32.460
So you just maybe knowing that and, and knowing that the first step isn't necessarily
00:20:39.580
him getting off drugs. That's actually not the first step. The first step is him actually realizing
00:20:45.960
that he's got a problem, right? And that him coming to the conclusion, is he willing to make
00:20:52.320
that necessary adjustment due to the impact? And, and maybe you use that and twine that into your
00:20:57.480
conversations a little bit, but, uh, I think everything we just said is still relevant regardless
00:21:02.220
of that. So I heard, I, I, I think I posted this on Twitter several months ago. I said, never,
00:21:09.500
uh, never attempt to rescue somebody who isn't willing to participate in the rescue.
00:21:15.400
Yeah. And then I, I heard somebody else say something very similar just a couple of weeks ago.
00:21:20.400
I think it was on one of my podcasts. Actually, I think it was Tim Tebow. I think he said,
00:21:24.820
when you're rescued, you become part of a rescue party. Like you, you have an active role to play
00:21:32.980
and, and I've got a book coming out in the fall. And I actually talk about one of the chapters in
00:21:38.720
the book is don't be a superhero. Don't be a superhero. You're not Superman. And your goal
00:21:46.300
and your job is not to run around rescuing victims everywhere you go. Your job is to build influence
00:21:52.740
and credibility and authority with other individuals. And you don't do that by rescuing
00:21:56.960
people. You do that by arming them with the skills and, and, and resources and information
00:22:03.420
and skillset they need to be able to rescue themselves. And it's hard to see somebody that
00:22:09.840
you care about really struggling. It is hard. And so we run in and we, we act like we're Superman
00:22:17.460
and then it doesn't work. And so we wasted a bunch of time and energy and resources,
00:22:24.100
and we may be alienated or ostracized other people that were important to us or that we're
00:22:29.860
willing to participate in their own rescue for this individual. Who's not willing to do the same.
00:22:36.680
So guys, we really need to be careful of rushing in to save Gotham city or, or, or, you know,
00:22:45.320
or whatever. Like that's not your job. Like our job is men is to empower people. If you were to ask
00:22:53.760
me, what is my role with order of man is to empower people. I made a post in our iron council,
00:22:59.400
which is our exclusive brotherhood earlier today. And I said, don't become friends with your team
00:23:06.520
members. That's not why these guys are here. They're not here to be your friend in six years.
00:23:13.980
I've never heard a single person say to me, Ryan, the reason I joined the iron council is so I can
00:23:19.560
have more friends. Never. The reason I joined the iron council is I want camaraderie. I want
00:23:28.720
accountability. I want better results in my life. And so I talk with our team leaders and I tell them
00:23:35.620
consistently, don't be a friend. You can't rescue people from the same plane that they're operating
00:23:44.860
on. You got to be on a different plane. It doesn't make us better. I'm not saying we're worth more.
00:23:50.020
We're better than individuals, but you can't, I think Einstein said that you can't, or at least
00:23:55.480
it's attributed to him. You can't solve problems at the same level of thinking that the problems were
00:24:01.140
created. I'm paraphrasing. Yeah. It's, you got to be on a different plane. And if you get so close
00:24:07.200
to these individuals and you, you rest all of your sense of self-worth on them improving themselves,
00:24:15.820
it's a recipe for disaster. Step aside, be influential, establish authority, establish
00:24:26.100
influence, establish credibility, and then you got to let the chips ride. Got to let it go where it
00:24:32.040
goes. And it doesn't always land in your favor. I had a buddy when we were right out of high school,
00:24:37.280
he really liked to go to Vegas. So I'd go to Vegas and he liked to gamble. I don't like to gamble. I
00:24:41.480
never have. And he would, he would say, I'm going to go down to Vegas. I'm going to ride the red
00:24:46.500
train. The red train? The red train. I don't even know what that is. He'd go play roulette and he
00:24:53.840
would put a bunch of money down on roulette. And if it, I don't even know the rules, you guys know
00:24:57.840
better than I, but if it lands on a red number, then he doubles his money or whatever. I, again,
00:25:03.100
I don't really know exactly, but he would like double his money. And so he's like, always ride
00:25:07.260
the red train. So he'd go put his money down on red. And then it was completely out of his hands.
00:25:13.040
I'm like, bro, like it's a 50% chance it's going to land on red. And he's like, yeah, but if I do it
00:25:20.280
enough, then I'm whatever. All I'm saying is it's just chance at that point. And that's what he was
00:25:27.480
doing. He's like, put it all on red and let it ride. That's a little bit about what we need to
00:25:31.520
do when it comes to influencing people, do everything that you can possibly do. And then
00:25:38.160
just let it ride and don't attach yourself to the results. You know, with this guy, like you put in all
00:25:44.300
the effort, you put in all the work. And if he improves great, if he doesn't too bad, but it says
00:25:49.420
nothing about you, you just let it ride. Cause the rest is without a beyond your control.
00:25:55.080
Yeah. And I love what you said earlier, Ryan, what's the real value you carrying?
00:26:00.540
Yes. That's the real value is him knowing that someone's there caring in spite of his
00:26:05.760
poor decisions. That's powerful in itself. Yeah. Matt gross. What are your thoughts on
00:26:13.420
building your children's credit ratings before they turn 18? I haven't really thought about that.
00:26:18.620
Actually. Yeah. I don't like, I don't like the credit system anyways. Like I'm trying to get
00:26:24.120
to a position where you're not relying on it. Yeah. Give me some money based on my payments or lack
00:26:30.860
thereof. And, and, and, you know, we're getting there, you know, that's, that's a good position to
00:26:36.160
be in. Um, look, yeah, maybe that would work. Maybe it's valuable. Uh, I, I wouldn't be too
00:26:45.000
concerned about that because frankly, you know, I didn't, I didn't have credit when I was 18.
00:26:51.560
I think the first vehicle that I had, my mom co-signed with me so I could build up some credit,
00:26:55.980
but that was after I was 18. So yeah, maybe you can have them as a co-signer on your account,
00:27:02.560
or you can open them a small credit card or something or an authorized user. Uh, my kids all
00:27:08.480
have bank individual bank accounts. Like I pay my two oldest sons because they do work for me.
00:27:13.460
And not only are they earning money, uh, but I'm also getting a tax write-off, which is nice.
00:27:19.000
Like I'll, I'll take advantage of that. So get an accountant who knows what they're doing. So you
00:27:23.380
can get, you can take advantage of those, those tax laws. Um, yeah, I don't know. I, the answer is,
00:27:29.360
I don't know. I don't know enough about it. Um, but yeah, I'm not going to go like,
00:27:33.780
maybe there's a way for you to take out a small, like $500, you know, credit card or credit limit,
00:27:41.260
but like, here's my thought outside of the financial stuff. I'm repulsed by the doctrine
00:27:48.140
of popular culture, like absolutely repulsed by it. And it's repulsive to me to get a child
00:27:55.220
who has no idea about responsibility, like quite literally does not have the mental capacity
00:28:01.100
to understand it, to get them a credit card, to put them in debt, to enslave them to their
00:28:09.680
own debt and, and interest on top of that before they're 18. What the fuck are we doing?
00:28:19.360
And I'm repulsed by it. I'm disgusted by it. Now, some people will say, well, you know,
00:28:27.220
Ryan, you have to play the game. What if enough of us decided we ain't playing that game anymore?
00:28:34.980
And we said, no, we're playing a different game. One of fiscal responsibility,
00:28:40.480
one of building up income, one of buying only what we can afford,
00:28:45.780
one of understanding how debt works and how millions and hundreds of millions of Americans
00:28:54.700
and people around the planet have become slaves to their debt masters. That's the doctrine of
00:29:02.780
popular culture. That's what everybody tells you to do. That's what the media tells you to do.
00:29:08.460
That's what politicians tell you to do. What if you did the exact opposite? And you said, no,
00:29:14.100
I'm going to save my money and I'm going to drive the junker for a little while. And I'm not going
00:29:20.580
to go buy a brand new house. And I'm not going to compare myself to the elites and the wealthy and
00:29:28.200
the rich. And I'm going to live my life the way that I should. What if we did that instead?
00:29:34.680
And what if hundreds of millions of people did that? I mean, you want to talk about a problem,
00:29:40.540
talk about a problem with the deficit in this nation. Talk about how we're beholden to China,
00:29:49.140
how much debt of ours they own. Talk about how beholden we are to Russia on our barrels of oil.
00:29:57.440
And all of you people are complaining about gas being four or five or $6 a gallon.
00:30:02.800
Well, you're complaining about that because you were complicit and importing hundreds of millions
00:30:11.760
of barrels of oil from a tyrannical dictator known as Putin. And you were completely fine with it
00:30:21.240
until your gas prices went up. Get yourself independent. And you don't do that by participating
00:30:29.480
in the charade of the credit system. Plain and simple. Teach your children financial independence.
00:30:39.140
Teach them to make money. Teach them to stay out of debt. Teach them to limit those credit cards.
00:30:45.120
Same thing with the credit card points. So many of you guys, and look, I get it, but so many of you
00:30:51.140
will go out and you'll buy a credit card or get a credit card and you'll say, well, I'm doing it for
00:30:55.260
the points. You know how many of you actually do that? It's probably less than 1%.
00:30:59.720
Actually, using the points is what you're saying?
00:31:03.420
Yeah. Some of you are smart enough and disciplined enough to do that correctly.
00:31:08.100
I know some people who are. I'm not one of those people. And I was in the financial planning industry.
00:31:16.320
99% of you, the credit cards or companies are preying upon you. They're preying on you. You are the
00:31:24.300
prey. They are the predator. And you willfully participate in the hunt. Do you remember,
00:31:34.180
wow, what's the movie? It's with Mel Gibson. And there's this Russian, he has a friend who's in
00:31:44.320
you. When you travel, you're like, what are all these movies that I've been watching on the
00:31:48.840
airplane? No, there's this good movie. What is this movie? Holy cow. How can I not remember this?
00:31:54.200
Mel Gibson. And he has an Indian friend and the Indian's like, hey, this Russian wants to hunt
00:32:01.740
you. And so you're going to dress up as an Indian, an old decrepit Indian, and he's going to try to
00:32:08.760
shoot you. And the Indian collects money from the Russian guy. And then he's like, and he gives Mel
00:32:14.920
Gibson half of it. What is that movie? This is in the planes. Oh, it's Maverick. It's Maverick.
00:32:22.500
Is it Maverick? Yeah. Yeah. Because he was like gambling on a boat and stuff too. Yeah. You're the
00:32:28.600
fake decrepit Indian. You, the American consumer, that's you. And the Russian is preying on you.
00:32:36.400
The Chinese are preying on you. Hell, your own people are preying on you. That's you. And then
00:32:43.380
you're like, well, how do I, how do I play in this game? You don't play the game. Yeah. That's
00:32:49.920
the answer. You don't do it. You don't play the game. And then you become so financially independent
00:32:57.160
that when your kid comes to you and says, dad, I want to buy this truck, you become the bank.
00:33:02.740
All right, son, you need 10,000 to buy that truck. I'll give you 10,000 at 5% interest.
00:33:10.460
You're going to pay me every month. You miss two months in a row. I take your truck and I sell it.
00:33:15.500
And you become the bank. You become the patriarch of your family. And you get out of this bullshit
00:33:21.480
that society is telling you to do. Your friend is setting you up. The Russian is trying to kill you
00:33:28.420
and you willfully play the game. Yeah. What is wrong with us? Damn.
00:33:36.420
Give me fired up ratification. It is. Now we should be fair. I mean, Matt's not suggesting
00:33:43.200
any of that, like, but maybe we can paraphrase for Matt here is, yeah. Is there some strategy
00:33:49.320
to build your kids credit for sure? But what's the most important thing? Teaching your kid not to get in
00:33:53.920
debt and be disciplined in regards to what they want and not playing the game. Is that a good fair
00:34:00.340
summary for Matt? That was nice. That was nice. Good cop, bad cop. All right. Jason Curtis,
00:34:08.280
what's your advice on scaling a small seasonal business? I'm trying to offer more to customers
00:34:14.120
with limited space. Depends on the business. Yeah. I, you know what the other, I have to say this,
00:34:21.480
you know, you're alluding to the quality of the question you ask. Right. And that's fair, right?
00:34:26.220
Like that allows you to answer the question better. But what it also does is it forces me to identify
00:34:34.140
what I'm seeking advice for. Right. If, if I go vague with you and say, Hey Ryan, how do I,
00:34:41.940
or even let's use your promotion idea, right? Hey Ryan boss, I want a promotion, a promotion. Like
00:34:48.480
that means I haven't thought through this. What promotion, what am I interested in? What are my
00:34:54.380
skills and where do they align in whatever I'm seeking? Right. So by asking a good question,
00:35:00.160
it also means that we're being intentional and we've worked this out a little bit. So our question
00:35:05.540
can be very specific and, and valuable. And then we get also a better response in the same,
00:35:11.500
in the same breath. So, well, so let's do this because I do want to answer the question
00:35:16.640
to the best of my ability, but let me hit on this first. Cause we've addressed this and I wrote this
00:35:22.500
down. What makes a good question? What, what critical components make a great, in fact, there's,
00:35:30.300
there's a great scenario right there. What makes a great question versus what three factors make a
00:35:37.820
powerful question? You see the difference? Like one's broad, one's more specific. Oh, he wants three
00:35:43.540
answers on what makes a good question. That's a better question than the previous one I just asked.
00:35:48.900
So what three components go into making a powerful question? And actually we can go deeper. What makes
00:35:55.620
a powerful question? One that you get a good, powerful answer to. Yeah. Something you could
00:36:01.480
actually implement. So what three components? Well, number one, I would say that it needs to be specific.
00:36:07.200
It needs to be as specific as possible, right? The more specific, Hey, what, what would you recommend
00:36:15.000
to a seasonal job? I don't know. Are you talking about a lawnmower? Are you taught being, you know,
00:36:20.500
like a, like a landscaper? Are you talking about running a ski resort? Like, I don't, I don't know.
00:36:28.660
Are you talking about a travel agency? I don't, I don't know what you're talking about. And all three of
00:36:32.720
those would have different strategies. Yeah, exactly. And to be frank, like it's a different
00:36:36.700
answer depending on the seasonal business. It really is a different answer. Yeah. Yeah. So
00:36:41.880
number one specific. Okay. What else makes a powerful question is number two is you can actually
00:36:51.660
get an answer to it. You know, a lot of people ask rhetorical questions and, or just broad,
00:36:58.580
general vague questions and they'll do it to sound smart. You know, like asking a question
00:37:04.340
doesn't make you sound smart. In fact, you guys have all been in scenarios where people ask dumb
00:37:10.760
questions. You're like, Oh my God, we had a guy in the military and I've told you this. I think
00:37:18.320
I have. Yeah. But the share again, I mean, you know, not everyone listens to every episode.
00:37:23.340
I don't want to like throw this guy under the bus. So I'll save some, some names here,
00:37:27.220
but whenever we did like a safety briefing or, or some sort of, you know, seminar in the military
00:37:34.940
at the end, you know, everybody says, does anybody have any questions? And there's always one guy
00:37:41.200
who everybody else is like, no, I'm done. Like, I just want to go clear. Yeah. We get it. I,
00:37:46.940
I, I just want to go on leave. Like, I don't need the STD discussion. I just want to go on leave.
00:37:54.640
And there's always one a-hole who's like, well, you know, actually I would like to ask this question.
00:38:01.940
And we called him DQD. Dumb question. And I'll leave out his last name.
00:38:07.980
I started with a D dumb question. D Dick, because he would ask dumb questions. It's like, what,
00:38:16.420
like, why are you asking that question? Like, Hey, just answered it two minutes ago. Are you,
00:38:21.520
and most people are asking the question to sound smart. That's why they're asking the question,
00:38:26.700
like ask a relevant question. So it's gotta be specific and it's gotta be relevant. And then third,
00:38:32.640
it's gotta actually point you in the right direction. You know, it's, it's, it's gotta
00:38:38.720
move the needle into something that's important to you. Something that is crucial. If you're asking
00:38:44.940
me like, Hey Ryan, what do you like better diet Coke or diet Pepsi? I don't give a shit about either.
00:38:53.640
Okay. That's not going to move the needle in the right direction. It doesn't matter. It's a dumb
00:39:00.560
question. How's that going to improve your life? The other one people ask me all the time. And I
00:39:06.580
don't even understand the reference. It's some movie. And they say, when we do these, ask me
00:39:10.720
things, would you rather fight 100 horse-sized ducks or duck-sized horses? I'm like, what is wrong
00:39:18.620
with you guys? Like, I get you're being funny. Like I get it. I don't, I'm not a funny guy. I don't
00:39:24.020
know what movie that's it's on some movie or something about what's the direction of a
00:39:29.160
laden swallow or something. I don't, I'm like, what are you talking about?
00:39:33.960
I looked this up at one point. I can't remember.
00:39:37.020
I don't get what you're talking about. It's on some movie. I don't care. I don't care.
00:39:42.020
And you shouldn't either. You should, you should care about things that are like,
00:39:47.340
if you're being funny, I get it. You know, like I can be funny occasionally, not very often,
00:39:51.420
but occasionally, but like ask a real question. Okay. So that's what makes a good question.
00:40:01.260
The question was, what's your advice on scaling a small business?
00:40:06.020
So here's what I would say. And you might say, well, that's a dumb answer.
00:40:09.220
Right. Right. Cause I don't have the specifics. So here's what I'd say. Learn how to use social media.
00:40:16.060
Yeah. Like the better you can get at social media, the better off you're going to be. And so many
00:40:21.400
people complain about social media and, and, you know, it's like, oh, it's horrible. And they,
00:40:26.920
they censor it. And I talk about that. Um, you know, but also social media is free and it's a
00:40:32.620
powerful tool. And we wouldn't be having these conversations if we didn't know how to do that.
00:40:36.960
So that's number one, number two, learn how to take it above and beyond. Everybody will offer
00:40:43.120
bare minimum service. Yeah. And, and they'll think that, oh, if I just offer the bare minimum,
00:40:48.480
what Joe Schmo down the street offers, then I'll be competitive. Maybe, but what if you took it 10
00:40:53.660
or 20 or 50 or a hundred percent further than everybody would come to you? Okay. So we have
00:41:00.240
use social media. We have take it further than what they expect. And that basically, if I were to strip
00:41:05.840
all that away, it's to exceed customer expectations. Yeah. Wow. Factor. Yeah. Yep.
00:41:12.660
And then number three is I would say is be different. This is the hardest selling proposition.
00:41:18.780
Yeah. This is the hardest one. Because if I were to ask, if I pulled out 10 random entrepreneurs
00:41:25.400
out of the Facebook group, for example, and I'd said, tell me why you're different than your
00:41:30.040
competitor. All of them would say they're different. And then from the average consumer,
00:41:34.420
the layman, I would say that sounds like what everybody else just said. So kill your,
00:41:41.980
this is, this is the term I use, kill your sacred cow. Like my, so I'll give you an example.
00:41:47.860
My sacred cow is the podcast, right? Like I think I'm the best podcast in the world.
00:41:54.240
Like I believe that. I think I'm good at it. Where I struggle, I work to shore it up. We bring on
00:42:01.020
great guests. The conversations are relevant. It's the discussions we're having are more important
00:42:06.740
than any other podcast in the world. I, I honestly believe that, but if I detach from it for a second,
00:42:15.360
I have to assume that most of the podcasts out there would say the exact same thing.
00:42:24.040
Joe Rogan would say his podcast is the best. Jocko would say his podcast is the best. Andy,
00:42:30.260
because I know Andy for Silla with a relay F would say his podcast is the best.
00:42:35.220
Is it, is mine the best? I don't know. Like I really don't. So what I have to do is I have to
00:42:44.600
actually make myself different. I have to actually say something different. I have to actually do
00:42:51.660
something completely different than what's ever done before. And that takes money. And that takes
00:42:56.960
capital with, with the Tebow episode that we did last week. A lot of you guys listen to that.
00:43:02.380
In fact, the most amount of people we've ever had ever in seven years of podcasting,
00:43:08.020
listen to that episode. Well, I spent a lot of money and a lot of time in Brandy made a lot of
00:43:16.380
investment and poured a lot of energy into making sure that episode happened. I could have done a
00:43:21.360
video with him. No problem. No problem. Instead, I flew me and my team to New York. We rented
00:43:32.000
camera equipment that we needed that we didn't have. I spent extra money on making sure my editing team
00:43:38.680
had the tools and resources they needed to put out video content. They needed, we wanted to make it
00:43:44.840
different and we actually had to do something different. So you have to look at it objectively.
00:43:49.260
It's hard. When you look at it, you think, Oh my gosh, I poured so much time and energy
00:43:54.360
energy. And you have, and what you believe is you've done more than anybody else. And you haven't,
00:43:59.940
you haven't rarely has that happened. So I had a bunch of people reach out after that episode and
00:44:06.740
they said, Oh man, this was the best episode you ever did. And Oh man, it's like the camera
00:44:11.580
production and what you guys did and how you set it up. Right. It's different. It's unique. It's,
00:44:17.600
it's, it's something you've never seen before. Actually, you want a great movie on this
00:44:22.060
is, um, the greatest show, man. Have you seen that kit? Yeah. Yeah. That's one of my favorite
00:44:29.820
movies. Yeah. I love that movie. It's with Hugh Jackman and, um, um, Zach Efron, Zach Efron,
00:44:38.820
I think his name and that Zen Zen date Zendaya or Zendaya or whatever her name is. Uh, I think she was
00:44:45.640
on maybe Spider-Man, the new Spider-Man is her. It's a, it's a great, it's got a good cast.
00:44:50.940
The movie is so good. Hugh Jackman is just an incredibly, incredibly talented person. Like I
00:44:57.980
actually really admire and respect him as an incredibly talented individual. Um, but go watch
00:45:04.980
that movie. Like he created something that had as his character, that is, that has never been created
00:45:12.820
before. He didn't regurgitate what somebody else did. He created something entirely different.
00:45:20.160
And that's what we're talking about here. Yeah. Create something the world has never seen before
00:45:26.460
and they can't help, but take their eyes off of you. Yeah. And sometimes that creativeness is found
00:45:33.480
in the gaps of what you were alluding to earlier. What are the gaps? Sometimes that's your unique
00:45:38.720
selling proposition as well. Well, so here's an example of this, Kip. So when I started in 2015,
00:45:45.060
one of my early inspirations was Brett McKay with Art of Manliness. And I wanted to create
00:45:53.600
Art of Manliness 2.0. Yeah. And what I realized is I can't out Brett, Brett.
00:46:01.580
I can't out Art of Manliness, Art of Manliness. I can't. Not only does he have a huge head start,
00:46:07.220
but he's uniquely qualified to do that. Now, as I've studied and researched and seen what he's
00:46:13.080
done, he's way more thoughtful than I am. He's way more analytical than I am. He's way more
00:46:19.620
organized. He's probably significantly more humble than I am based on what I know. And it ain't me
00:46:25.380
at all. And so I, fortunately I learned this very early on and I realized I can't out Brett, Brett.
00:46:32.560
So what I'm going to do is I'm going to create something entirely different. And I decided that
00:46:37.880
instead of just putting a bunch of content out into the world, the model I was going to use was
00:46:43.780
to help bridge the gap for men between what they know, all of this information that Brett and others
00:46:48.820
had to share and what they actually do. Because if I told you, Hey, how do you lose weight? Every single
00:46:55.400
person would pretty much get it right. Well, you got to eat a little better and you got to move a
00:46:59.400
little more or a variation of thereof. That's what everybody would say. And that's accurate.
00:47:04.780
Well, why do we have so many fat asses in the country? If I said to you, how do you get out of
00:47:10.320
debt? Well, you should increase your income. You should track your expenses and your income,
00:47:15.080
and you should stop spending so much money on stupid things. Right. Everybody understands that.
00:47:20.760
Why do we have hundreds of millions of people who are broke? Because they don't do it.
00:47:25.500
And so I made the decision in spite of what I saw out there that it was already available between
00:47:30.560
what Brett was doing and other magazines and outlets. I said, okay, I'm going to bridge the
00:47:36.340
gap between what we know, what we do. And we created the iron council very early on,
00:47:39.940
which was a brotherhood, the camaraderie, the accountability, the plans, the checkpoints to
00:47:45.920
move from knowledge to application, from information to wisdom, application of said information.
00:47:51.480
On the court. Right. Guess who's starting other membership programs and membership site? All
00:48:00.400
these other people I was inspired by. That's fine. I have no problem with that. They're trying to out
00:48:05.300
Ryan, Ryan. They're trying to out order of man, order of man. They cannot do it because I'm ahead of
00:48:13.820
the ball on this. I figured it out. And so they're playing catch up. They shouldn't be playing catch up.
00:48:24.140
What they should actually be doing is running a different race. That's what I did. And that's what
00:48:30.020
long story short for this question here, run a different race. I don't know what your race is
00:48:35.560
because you weren't very specific on that, what that is, but whatever it is, run a different race.
00:48:40.740
There's a great book called Blue Ocean Strategy. I don't know who it's by, but Blue Ocean Strategy.
00:48:46.640
Cirque du Soleil was a case study of that. And if you look at what Cirque du Soleil did,
00:48:54.040
I don't know, maybe late nineties, early two thousands. I don't exactly know when they came
00:48:57.780
out, but if you look at what they did when they came out is they took a, so here's the premise of
00:49:03.640
the book. Blue Ocean Strategy is uncontested market space. So the red ocean is like, Hey, I'm a
00:49:09.440
landscaper. And so I'm just going to go compete with the other landscapers. Well, there's 40 other
00:49:13.740
landscapers in your neighborhood. That's red ocean, right? You're all just competing over the same
00:49:18.700
fish and it's just a red ocean. It's bloody. It's nasty. It's dirty. Blue Ocean is uncontested
00:49:24.200
market space. So Cirque du Soleil came in and they said, all right, well, look, we have theater and we
00:49:30.260
have performance and that's the red ocean, right? There's Broadway and there's other plays and other
00:49:38.480
programs. And then we have the circus and that's red ocean. And so that's contested market space.
00:49:44.800
What we're going to do is we're going to combine circus with theater, uncontested market space,
00:49:53.360
blue ocean. So now Cirque du Soleil was born. And of course, now you have other people. So it's become
00:50:00.360
more of a red ocean at this point, but they took two entirely different components and they merged
00:50:06.880
them together to create something the world has never seen. I did this in my financial planning
00:50:10.540
practice. All the old timers were like, well, you know, here's how you market and here's how you
00:50:15.320
refer and here's how you do this. And I said, screw you. I'm going to start a podcast. What's a podcast?
00:50:21.880
They'd say with their belly hanging out in their hair balding in their chair, a little higher than
00:50:27.700
their client to make them feel more important than they are. Oh, that's stupid. A podcast is like
00:50:32.160
nobody would ever listen to that. And I started a podcast and I started to blow these guys out of
00:50:38.340
the water because I was an uncontested market space. And I let the, all the old timers, all the old
00:50:44.940
has-beens sharks fight over the same clients while I was over here doing my thing. And here we are
00:50:51.820
seven, eight years later, creating something the world has never seen before. That's the blue ocean
00:50:58.860
you need to be involved in. Christopher Jones. And also I would say this, sorry, Kip. I would also say
00:51:05.580
this. When all the old timers come to you and say, hey, Ryan, how are you doing this? Can you please
00:51:11.360
show me how you do this? That's a nice feeling. That's a really nice feeling. And you know, we'd be
00:51:19.380
gracious and we do, right? We do show them, but it is a nice feeling. I got to admit.
00:51:28.240
All right. Christopher Jones, how, how often do you train firearms and what style of training do you
00:51:33.320
prefer? Run and gun fundamentals on paper, et cetera. Um, I don't, I don't train. Yeah. I don't train with
00:51:41.440
firearms as much as I would like. I mean, we go out and we shoot our pistols, we shoot our rifles,
00:51:46.740
um, not running guns so much, but for the most part, it's, it's accuracy. It's, it's long range,
00:51:54.140
the rifle training, things like that. Admittedly, I could do better on that. And I should, I've got a
00:51:59.760
friend here who's, who went and did some courses. He just invited me to a course and I couldn't make
00:52:04.820
it because I had some conflicting schedules, but I said, let me know when the next one is because
00:52:08.560
admittedly, this is, this is an area that I definitely need to develop some proficiency with.
00:52:13.800
So I, I, I wish I could give you a better answer of all the terminology and stuff like that. Um,
00:52:19.900
but I mean, there's great schools out there, you know, and, and, um, I've been to some training and
00:52:25.320
done some things here and there, but I'm not the guy to ask on that. I wish I could get a better
00:52:30.160
answer. I can't frankly, how about you? Do you have a better answer? No, I mean, I don't as much as I,
00:52:35.820
as I should, I know I should. And, and I, um, I mean, in fact, the last time I went, uh,
00:52:41.420
shooting, it was with, uh, a cousin of mine and he's like special forces. Right. And so his version
00:52:47.320
of let's go to the range is like transitions between weapons. And you know what I mean? I'm
00:52:52.840
thinking I should do this stuff more often. This is so fun, but, um, yeah, I, I need to step up my
00:52:58.820
game. Those guys in Utah, who's the, um, who's Tim is a Tim Grover that has the, uh, survival field
00:53:06.760
tactics. No, I think you're talking about Mike. Tim is, um, that's right. Mike Grover with Jordan.
00:53:14.860
Yeah. Mike with field survival. Yeah. They have a presence here in Utah now. And I've been wanting
00:53:21.860
to kind of make that a priority and get up there and train, but yeah, I have the same answer. I mean,
00:53:28.480
I should do more. Yeah. The last time I trained, like actually really got after it. I spent some time
00:53:35.400
just, it was like a couple of years ago with border patrol. And I actually went through their
00:53:40.780
qualifications course. So I spent in time with them and they said, Hey, we're next week. We have
00:53:45.200
our qualifications course. So we need to train. Do you want to train with us? I'm like, yeah,
00:53:48.520
I'd love to. And, and they said, well, let's see if you can qualify for your firearms. I'm like,
00:53:54.220
yeah, great. Like I'd love to do that. So I barely made it with the pistol. I barely,
00:54:01.640
like barely qualified with the pistol. And I beat all of them with the rifle, which was cool
00:54:07.460
because they're like, what? Like I beat every single one of them with a rifle,
00:54:11.300
barely qualified with a pistol. Yeah. I need to do that. That's funny. For sure. Yeah.
00:54:16.420
All right. Uh, Luke Jansen, a little bit of, uh, I don't know, a little bit of insight here.
00:54:21.480
So what are your thoughts on plant medicine, particularly when an induced dream inspired
00:54:27.400
a family member to break up shortly after a birth of a child? So a little bit of a history for,
00:54:33.480
for the question, but what are your thoughts? I'm not, I'm not like well-versed enough in
00:54:39.540
like when I hear plant medicine, the guy that comes to mind is, um, um, Aubrey Marcus. Yeah,
00:54:47.140
totally. And I think of like ayahuasca and bohemian, like earthly remedies. I don't, that's not me at all.
00:55:00.580
Does it work? I don't know. Maybe. Sure. Yeah. I think, look, there's pro there's some validity to
00:55:07.180
it. I mean, I'm, I believe in God. I believe that we have the things that we have, although there are
00:55:13.940
poisons and dangerous animals and venomous snakes, you know, that you got to be aware of. Like,
00:55:19.260
there's also some things here that we could probably use to help unlock new sides of our,
00:55:27.620
our brain and new performance. That ain't me at all. So I don't know. I hear what I hear when I
00:55:35.480
hear plant medicine is hippie. Oh, you're a hippie. Got it. You're a hippie. Cool. You got your
00:55:40.140
stereotype. Yeah. And if that works and you want to, I don't, what do you, do you even,
00:55:45.380
I don't know if you drink or smoke. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I have no
00:55:51.100
idea. The, the only thought I have about this is I can't, uh, how's this when I, when I think about
00:55:59.840
this or I have conversations around this, I always have to ask myself is, is, is the benefit that
00:56:07.500
you're getting in this particular example from plant medicine, is it possible to accomplish that
00:56:12.960
in another means? And is the plant medicine just a shortcut to something that if I did the harder
00:56:19.780
route, I'd be better off doing. Does it make sense? So like, and I, and I just use that as a
00:56:28.060
measuring stick, right. Oh, of trying to like, is it good for me? Is it not good for me? Is it a form
00:56:33.280
of a shortcut to something that I could achieve a harder way, but that harder way actually develops
00:56:39.120
me as a person? You know what I mean? And I've become a better person because of it. So those
00:56:44.180
are just thoughts that I have around it. So here's what, look, I agree with you. Um,
00:56:49.720
and here's what I would say. I think there's doing work and trying to find avenues to do
00:56:54.260
soul searching, to do, you know, meditation, mind work, all that kind of stuff.
00:56:59.440
Dreams. You're talking about interpreting, interpreting dreams. And I also think there's
00:57:05.140
wanting to get high and drunk. Yeah. Yeah. True. Yeah. There's the abuse side of it. Yeah.
00:57:12.380
Yeah. So if you want to get high, like go get high, like go, go, you know, smoke some weed or
00:57:19.180
whatever. Cool. Like, you don't need to tell me it's some special plant healing medicine or whatever
00:57:26.440
and I'm not saying that's who's the guy's asking people use that as an excuse is what you're
00:57:31.420
totally. Yeah. Yeah. A hundred percent. If you want to just get high and drunk and go to burning
00:57:35.620
man and like meet with cool people and have sex with, you know, men and women or whatever else you
00:57:41.800
do it, like burning man, like go do that. Like, I don't, whatever. That's fine. Like go do that.
00:57:49.640
Yeah. I don't care. It doesn't impact it. Right. Don't, don't, don't go like, oh, you know,
00:57:54.960
it, it, uh, it helps you spiritually. You're like, whatever, dude, you just wanted to get high.
00:58:00.900
And that's cool. Like go get high. It's cool. Like, you know, that's like, I don't like Snoop
00:58:06.320
dog. Somebody I think of, he's like, nah, I get high. Like this. I'm like, at least the man owns it.
00:58:10.060
You know, he's like, I'm not trying on some spiritual trip. I just like to get screwed up. It's like,
00:58:14.460
cool. I can respect that. Yeah. I don't know. I guess I'm maybe just more of a pragmatic,
00:58:21.280
you know, but here's one thing that's interesting. I listened to guys like Aubrey Marcus and even Joe
00:58:28.200
Rogan and these guys who do the ayahuasca stuff. Yep. And if you listen to them and you listen to
00:58:35.940
the verbiage, they say, I had a spiritual moment. I talked with mother earth, right? I, I, I communed
00:58:49.800
with, with the, the muse. Oh, so God, you believe in God. Oh no, not God. No, it's not God.
00:58:57.980
It's abuse. It's mother earth. Yeah. It's God. It's God. We're all using, we're, we're all having
00:59:08.200
the same experiences. You just don't want to call it God because you hate religion, which I actually
00:59:13.460
understand. Like there's a lot to be said against religion. I get it. But when, when, when Aubrey
00:59:21.460
Marcus or Joe Rogan says, Oh yeah, mother earth, nature, the universe, you could basically just say
00:59:29.060
God, cause that's what all the Christian folk are saying. And everybody's having the same experience.
00:59:37.360
Some people just aren't willing to admit what experience they're having. That's all I'm going to
00:59:43.060
say. Yeah. All right. Jake, is that wrong? Like I'm curious about, like, I've been thinking about
00:59:50.600
that for a long time. Like these guys talk about the universe or the muse or mother earth or mother
00:59:56.120
nature, the spiritual awakening. It's like, I would actually say the same thing you just said.
01:00:01.980
I might use a little bit different language, but the experience you just shared is actually very
01:00:06.880
similar to the experience I had at church on Sunday. Yeah. I don't think, I don't think it's bad.
01:00:13.260
How's this? I think sometimes it's genuine where people might say, well, I don't call it God
01:00:19.100
because I think it's this, but, but I do think it's important for us to realize that there,
01:00:25.080
there are things that transcend religions with language is an attempt of human to give definition
01:00:32.360
and meaning to something. Right. And, and things get lost in translation and everything else. Right.
01:00:38.140
I was having this great conversation with some family members a couple of weeks ago about the five
01:00:43.000
agreements, that book and the fourth agreement. And at one point it was funny because my brother-in-law
01:00:48.420
said something to the extent of like, uh, like some point that I think he made in the book about,
01:00:56.140
uh, who you are is who you are kind of like, I am, it's just, I am right. And I'm like, Oh,
01:01:01.800
very similar to what, what God said to Moses on Mount Sinai. Right. And he's like, what God said?
01:01:09.400
Yeah. Yeah. But my point being is like, yeah. And the Hebrew translation of what he said is I create,
01:01:16.120
what I create. I am who I am. Like it's very powerful statement. Right. Especially the Hebrew,
01:01:22.180
Hebrew version of that. And here we are going, well, no, no, that's not a God thing. And it's like,
01:01:26.340
well, you know, God said that too. Right. And so I think we just need to be open to realize that
01:01:33.760
people don't interpret things, different things. And a lot of the time, I think old truth is,
01:01:40.760
is explained in different languages and it's the same thing. Right. I mean, how often is, you know,
01:01:49.320
God represents a number of different things in different religions and different cultures. And
01:01:54.840
it was, that's the word we used to explain it versus other words. You, you said it very nicely.
01:02:02.120
And, and you, you like, you explained it and you offered great, here's what I would say.
01:02:07.700
The hippies and the religious people like me all believe the same shit and we just call it different
01:02:13.000
things. Yeah. I really do think so. I think most of us actually believe the same thing. We just use
01:02:18.040
different words. We do because it's undeniable. Like there's a spiritual plane that we can't explain.
01:02:26.000
Like there's something going on that we can't explain. And I'm not here to tell you that I
01:02:32.780
have it all figured out. I don't. Every night when I pray to God, I'm like, what in the world
01:02:38.000
is happening? Like what, like, what are you telling me to do? That's crazy. Or like what? I don't
01:02:45.500
understand about what's going on in the world. Like, like this is so confusing. I don't get it.
01:02:50.820
Like, what are you telling me to do? What do you want me to do? I will do it. But like,
01:02:56.440
I have some questions about it. Yeah. And, and all those people, when we're talking about plant
01:03:02.260
medicine, I think they're searching for the same questions. Like I'm confused. I'm lost.
01:03:08.620
Life isn't what I think it should be. I think I'm capable of more. I want to unlock a new part of me.
01:03:14.860
I want to serve people. I want to guide. I want to lead. I want to feel good about myself.
01:03:19.660
And so like, if I need to do ayahuasca or plant medicine to tap into something that's going to
01:03:25.640
help me find these answers, then man, so be it. But we're all looking for the same answer. Why am
01:03:32.280
I here? And what am I doing? And what do you want me to do? And I'll do it. Just help me understand
01:03:38.480
what it is. Yeah. And it's, and I think it's, it's naive of anyone to come to that table and go,
01:03:46.480
no, no, no, no, Ryan. No, no. My thing's different. You know what I mean? It's like,
01:03:49.900
no, dude, you don't understand. Right. Like it, we're meaning lives in language. And, and so often
01:03:57.220
we're just used in different language and different words to explain or an attempt of a human to explain
01:04:02.740
this same thing. Yeah. And, um, well, I don't know, one of my power in understanding and seeing
01:04:08.160
that other perspective through that other language, I think too.
01:04:10.580
One of my good friends is Jack Donovan, you know, and, and Jack is pagan, you know? And so
01:04:17.940
we made a joke. It was me and, and, and Tanner, I think went to a, an ax throwing bar one time a
01:04:24.840
couple of years ago with Jack. And it was like, the joke was, you know, two skinny Mormons walk in
01:04:29.480
with a Jack pagan. And that was the joke, but you know, and so many people I've had, I've heard people
01:04:36.820
say, well, I can't believe you'd be friends with Jack because here's what he believes.
01:04:41.180
I don't think Jack and I are that far apart actually. Yeah. Like he believed he's got a
01:04:47.440
spiritual element to him. He's very thoughtful. He's way more thoughtful than I am for sure.
01:04:52.600
He's thinking about life, not just in this realm, but eternity. And I'm like, man, that's a, yeah,
01:04:59.040
I believe that, you know, not the way you're saying it, but I believe there's something there.
01:05:04.000
And there's a lot more connection than we give ourselves credit for or give other people credit
01:05:08.780
for, I think too. Yeah, for sure. All right. Last question. Jacob Pinion, what are your thoughts
01:05:16.460
on active rest versus rest? I work out Monday, Wednesday, Friday morning, and I do, uh,
01:05:22.780
Bajitsu, Bajitsu, Bajitsu. Let's do some Bajitsu. We're making our no, a new version here. I do BJJ.
01:05:29.380
Those nights down, actually Bajitsu. That's her. I wrote that down.
01:05:34.000
I'm trying to figure out what, what, what martial art, how do we, how do we run with
01:05:38.980
Bajitsu? Well, we'll flesh that out. Bajitsu. Thanks for documenting this. And, uh,
01:05:45.580
Oh yeah. He does jujitsu Monday, Wednesday, Friday mornings. No, no, geez. I'm messing this
01:05:51.580
all up. Let me start over. What are your thoughts on active rest versus rest? I work out Monday,
01:05:56.140
Wednesday, and Friday, and I do jujitsu those nights and rest in between, but I feel restless
01:06:02.680
on rest days and I want to do something more. Yeah. Do it. Yeah. I was going to say just go,
01:06:10.100
man. Like, look, look, look, look, look, look. I think you're overthinking, Izzy. This is crazy.
01:06:18.040
You are not meant to sit idly by and watch three hours of Netflix every night. And look, all the,
01:06:24.880
all the health guys are like burning up inside. They're listening. It's like, man,
01:06:28.500
you got to work out three times a week, an hour and 45 minutes each and burn these many calories.
01:06:34.340
No, bro. You need to work out seven days a week.
01:06:39.900
That's it. Now look, I, Sunday is typically a day off for me, right? We're talking about
01:06:46.160
spirituality. That's a belief I have. And so like, am I going to go bust my, am I going to go
01:06:50.040
roll jujitsu? Am I gonna go to the gym? No, I'm not. But am I going to go on a walk with my family?
01:06:54.740
You're dang right. I am. Am I going to, am I going to sit there if we're watching a movie and
01:06:58.900
do some pushups here and there and some sit-ups or some air squats or challenge one of my kids to
01:07:03.820
something or, you know, get out the, the, the bands and like, yeah, of course I'm going to do,
01:07:09.020
or we have, we have, um, war clubs. In fact, I'll show you one. Hold on one second. Okay.
01:07:15.560
So my origin, by the way, no, these, these ones aren't, these are origins. I've got this one right
01:07:20.360
here. Okay. My origin ones are downstairs because they're right. They're in the living room.
01:07:26.060
I've got kettlebells. I've got the, the origin war clubs, which are cool because you can screw on the,
01:07:31.140
the caps or whatever, and you can add a weight to them. But like, I've got this. And when I get done
01:07:36.300
with this podcast, I've got another podcast after this, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to swing
01:07:40.640
this around and I'm going to loosen up my shoulders because my shoulders are always tight. And I'm going to
01:07:45.560
do some air squats and I'm going to move because we're designed to move. So move, you know, like
01:07:54.420
if, so I think what are you saying is he does jujitsu Monday, Wednesday, Friday. Is that what
01:07:58.620
he said? So he's working out the Monday, Wednesday, Friday, and then he does jujitsu on those nights.
01:08:05.860
So here is, let me just tell you my schedule. He's pulling two a days between lifting and,
01:08:09.940
and jits, but I think, I think seven days a week is better than two a days.
01:08:15.560
I think if you can move away from two a days and move to seven days a week, I think that would be
01:08:19.660
better for you personally. Like the fitness guys can debate me on that, but you're going to get
01:08:25.160
more rest and recovery if you do it that way. Okay. Yeah. And I think our bodies adjust a little
01:08:30.160
bit, right? Like I work at least six days a week and I train, like I don't train and go, Oh,
01:08:36.540
trains my, my workout. Like that's just like added cardio on those days. You know what I mean? And I
01:08:43.380
don't feel like, Oh, I'm, I'm doing too much, you know? So, I mean, I think it's unique to your body,
01:08:47.860
right? How you feel a little bit, but, um, I don't know.
01:08:51.540
Well, so what do you think about this? I don't, I actually don't leave training,
01:08:55.400
like training jujitsu specifically. I don't leave exhausted.
01:09:00.320
I leave exhausted. Usually I'm destroyed. Yeah. Usually.
01:09:05.500
I mean, maybe I'm tired, but I feel mentally, I feel uplifted. So maybe it doesn't
01:09:11.020
hurt as much or something. I mean, I'm physically like I'm sore. Cause the way that we run our
01:09:16.900
jujitsu is we go in and we stretch out a little bit and then we roll for at least an hour, like
01:09:25.020
hard. You're not feeling burned out after open that for, for an hour, because that's one thing
01:09:31.240
I've been focused on is like, how do I do this without getting gassed? Got it. And then what I
01:09:37.340
realized, so then after our open mat, we do about a half an hour of instruction afterwards and
01:09:43.060
afterwards. So we'll do some technique and we'll, we'll, we'll do some drilling and we'll work through
01:09:48.620
some moves and technique, that sort of thing. And that's where I start to lock up a little bit.
01:09:52.680
And when I'm done, I'm locked up like my knees, my hips, my lower back is locked up. And so I need to
01:09:58.600
move again and stretch it out. But then I drive home and I'm like, no, I, I actually feel really
01:10:04.620
good, but that might be a mental thing because physically I am tired, but mentally I'm, I feel
01:10:11.300
the same way. I feel great mentally, but usually like, you know, I'm like drenched and I'm, you know,
01:10:19.500
I don't even want to get my car. Cause I'm going to stink it up. Cause I'm still sweating so bad
01:10:23.820
after training. Yeah. But like, I'm the same way, but I like that. Like, I'm like, Oh yeah,
01:10:29.480
I'm drenched. I like my body. But I take pride in that. Yeah. I think we're, we're probably close
01:10:37.060
on that. Anyways. Yeah. So here's, here's, here's what I do. Let me know, not even that,
01:10:42.680
because what feels right is to not go at all. Yeah. Good point. Good point. You've trained yourself
01:10:51.080
over what 12 years or whatever it is of, of like, no, this is right. Yeah. Yeah. It's like
01:10:58.380
brushing your teeth. You know, I don't know that that's a natural thing. Like, I don't know if our
01:11:06.280
early ancestors had great white, beautiful teeth, but we've trained ourselves to brush our teeth
01:11:13.000
because it's, you know, it's good to have teeth so you can chew the meat that you eat, you know?
01:11:17.280
Um, it's like, I don't know if it's natural. And in fact, I'll a hundred percent. It's not natural.
01:11:26.160
Yeah. I'll tell you what. You're right. I mean, the natural man is not going to do it. Yeah.
01:11:30.220
A hundred percent because our early ancestors, what were they, what did they do? Like if you strip
01:11:35.440
everything else away, preserve, preserve energy. So you have energy when you go hunt. Yeah.
01:11:40.920
That's it. That's it. And you try to make hunting as easy as possible because if you had to get
01:11:48.800
yourself killed to get a pig, like it wasn't worth it. Yeah. So a hundred percent, the natural man is
01:11:55.500
like, don't do that. Rob Wolf talked about, we did a podcast together maybe about a year ago. And he
01:12:02.040
said, no, we're, we're wired to be fat and lazy. You actually have to actively fight against that.
01:12:10.200
Anyways, here's, here's what I do. So I train Monday and Wednesday evenings.
01:12:16.220
I train Tuesday and Friday mornings. When I say train, I'm talking about jujitsu
01:12:21.040
Tuesday and Friday mornings. And then I do CrossFit on Tuesday and Thursday nights with my family.
01:12:28.220
That's what I have. And then Saturdays are active. So we're sledding or walking or we're hiking or
01:12:37.840
playing. And I wrestled just about every day with my kids. And if we're watching a movie or a TV show,
01:12:45.280
I'm usually doing air squats or pushups or sit-ups or Indian clubs or origin war clubs.
01:12:53.480
As we're doing that, like I'll get up and I'll do 10 swings on each arm, or I'll do 10 front squats
01:12:58.800
with a heavy work club, or I'll do, you know, 10 shoulder presses on each arm with the center mass
01:13:06.220
bells from Sorenex. Like that's what I'm doing. That's what we do. Yeah. So I do push pulling legs
01:13:12.300
twice a week. So I, those are six days a week. And then I train probably three days a week during noon.
01:13:19.060
And then when my kids say, Hey, let's go for a walk. I'm going to rest. I go, leave me alone.
01:13:24.180
I'm tired, but you go. Yeah, no, I'm just laughing though, because you're way more active
01:13:34.260
probably with your family, but I pushed myself too much. I'm like, no, no, I don't, I don't know.
01:13:40.780
I don't believe that. I'd actually don't believe that. I mean, you might say that. Are you being
01:13:45.540
serious? Like, I can't imagine that being you. Like that doesn't sound like you.
01:13:49.820
I'll still, I'll still go for walks and stuff. Go, go a hundred percent. Just be active. Just move.
01:13:56.860
And I actually take a lot from cam Haynes. Like, so, so cam runs like a madman, you know,
01:14:04.340
run like literally a marathon per day. Yeah. I'm not exaggerating literally a marathon per day
01:14:10.680
and people all the time, you know, Oh, you're going to hurt your knees. Are you going to injure
01:14:14.700
yourself? And yeah, maybe that's hard on the joints, but also his body adapts to it. You know,
01:14:21.040
he's an, he's an athlete. He's a, he's a world-class hunter. He's a, he's an ultra endurance athlete
01:14:26.260
and he's conditioned his body to be that way. Now, if I said like, I'm going to go run a marathon a day,
01:14:31.580
it probably wouldn't be prudent or healthy for me to do, but our bodies are better than what we give
01:14:39.020
them credit for. So yeah, if somebody's telling you like, Oh, you just need here, here's how you
01:14:45.600
build the body you want in 20 minutes per day, red flag, red flag, trying to sell you their 30
01:14:52.660
minute ab blasts or whatever. All right. That's all the questions. We actually got through all the
01:14:58.900
questions. Nice. I think we went a little longer today. I got on my soapbox a few times, just a few
01:15:04.880
times. Yeah. It was only just half the podcast about how to ask good questions. So that, and
01:15:11.780
there was something else. What was it? Oh, the spiritual stuff. Yeah. Yeah. No, it's, no, it's
01:15:16.880
legit. Right. And yeah, there's a lot of good stuff that you had in there. So it was, it needed to be
01:15:22.480
said. Thank you, Kev. Thank you. You have to say that, you know, on the, on the call today though,
01:15:27.960
we did mention a couple of times, you know, you use the unique, you know, idea of what your unique
01:15:33.400
selling proposition was, was really around iron council, right? Getting on the court in life,
01:15:39.600
taking action, not just throwing content out there because to your point, you know, we say that all
01:15:45.080
the time, people know what they should do, but they don't do it. And you created the iron council in,
01:15:50.760
as part of that process, which has had huge success and it's open currently. This is something
01:15:56.220
that we've changed at the beginning of the year. It's not going to be open all the time. We're going
01:15:59.380
to open this up, um, only on a quarterly basis. And it's currently open now until the end of the
01:16:05.640
month. So if you are tired of being a spectator in the game of life and sitting in the bench and
01:16:12.700
watching other people get after it, and you feel like, uh, joining the team and actually playing
01:16:17.240
the game, uh, you can learn more about the iron council by going to order of man.com slash iron
01:16:22.960
council. And just a reminder, I mean, we're roughly what the 24, uh, you know, this week, next week.
01:16:29.000
So end of next week, this thing's closed. So if you wanted to jump in, uh, you need to take some
01:16:34.660
action. That's right. A lot of you guys have been sitting on the fence about it. Um, check it out,
01:16:40.460
you know, and, and see if it's for you. We've got about 1200 members of the iron council right now.
01:16:44.960
We've been going for seven years. Uh, we've been working all sorts of systems and programs and
01:16:49.880
planners and accountability and tactics. Like I've been through the refiner's fire with all this.
01:16:55.820
And what I can say is that that literally thousands of men at this point have gone through the program,
01:17:00.460
have been members of the iron council and have improved their life. That's what I want for you.
01:17:06.040
Like, I know I get on the soapbox. I know I get off on rants and tangents and things like this,
01:17:11.440
but here's what I want you to know, Kip, you and I, we want the best for men.
01:17:16.060
We want you to feel confident in yourself. We want you to secure promotions. We want you to have
01:17:24.760
a deep and meaningful relationship with your wife. We want you to be connected with your kids.
01:17:30.600
We want you to find meaning and purpose in life. I want you to feel confident with who you are. Like,
01:17:36.840
I don't want you to look in the mirror and feel shitty about yourself or, you know, question why
01:17:42.500
you're here. I don't want you to go through depression. I certainly don't want you to think
01:17:47.660
that the world would be better without you in it. Like, I want you to be an active participant,
01:17:54.220
not only in your life, but the life of your family, the life of your neighbors, your community members,
01:17:59.560
this country, the world. And I honestly believe that each and every one of us have such a crucial
01:18:06.580
role to play. And Kip, I, again, I'm not going to speak for you, but I am just going to kind of
01:18:11.620
represent you. And you can correct me if I'm wrong is we want to be champions for you.
01:18:19.200
Like we, like, I, like we're, we're, we're, we're, we're the mentor. Like this, you're the hero of your
01:18:25.820
journey and we want to help you be that person. That's what I want. Like, I don't want to save you.
01:18:31.260
I want you to help you save yourself and you can, and we're going to give you the tools and the
01:18:36.500
skill sets, um, and the access to other men so that you can do that and be the hero for your wife.
01:18:42.900
Be the, be the father that your kids need you to be, be the kind of neighbor who everybody talks
01:18:48.120
about is being like the man. That's what we want for you. Yeah. And you're needed, not just,
01:18:55.520
you know, for the other men that, that we work with, but you're needed in your family. You're
01:18:59.520
needed with your spouse. You're needed in your community. You're needed in this country.
01:19:03.780
I mean, this isn't just, um, you know, one of the things that I say, and I see, you know, we,
01:19:10.280
we interview battle team leaders all the time. And, and I've come to this realization that there's
01:19:16.760
this natural progression. Guys, guys, sometimes join the iron council for them, right? They, they,
01:19:22.560
you know, I want to join the IC and, and I want to be a better dad. I want to be a better man.
01:19:27.960
I want to be better shape. I, I, I want to get a promotion, whatever. And then there's this
01:19:34.140
transition where they come to this realization that it was never about them. And it was really
01:19:41.180
about everyone else. It was about serving their families better. It was about being the husband
01:19:46.580
that their wife needed. It was about being the man in the neighborhood that the neighborhood needs.
01:19:51.340
And it's far, far greater than I, that I think it's even greater than I realized. Like I, I think
01:19:57.900
Ryan, even you, I don't want to speak for you either, but like sometimes I don't even realize,
01:20:03.140
I think the impact or, or, or the possibility that that is available through me. And I, and I certainly
01:20:10.500
know that a lot of the guys are not present to, to what type of waves and impact they have in this
01:20:17.460
world. Um, and, and hopefully as, as guys rise up with us in the IC, they'd become more present to
01:20:23.920
that and, and they become more servant leaders in that process. Agreed. I was going to say, you know,
01:20:30.700
the only other thing I would say is you, you said that, and this is not a pitch guys, like join us or
01:20:36.840
don't it, you know, I would like you to, to say, I don't care. Isn't, isn't accurate. Like I would
01:20:41.660
like you to, I think it'll serve you, but, but here, what I, here, here's what I would say,
01:20:45.600
whether you join us or do something else, like do it. Um, you said you're needed and, and this
01:20:51.660
isn't going to be popular. What I say, you might not be now. Yeah. Like that, that's, that's the
01:20:58.920
truth. Cause there was a point major, you've made it that way. Yeah. Yeah. Because you've actually
01:21:04.380
become a liability to people, to yourself and people around you. So honestly, you might not be now,
01:21:11.460
but I want you to be needed. Yeah. Like I, I want you to move from asset to, excuse me,
01:21:18.120
from liability to asset because I, that's where our pride comes from. And I'm not saying pride is in
01:21:26.520
like a false sense of inflated ego. I'm saying proud of actually what you've done and what
01:21:31.060
you've accomplished. Chris Rock did a bit and I, and I, yes, fulfillment, meaning purpose,
01:21:36.200
uh, did a bit probably years ago. I saw this the other day and he, and he had said, you know,
01:21:41.180
women are inherently valuable. You know, they're just valuable because they are. And the only time
01:21:47.600
men are valued is, is based on what they produce or the value they add to the environment around them.
01:21:54.020
And he was joking about it and kind of putting that thought down. And I thought he's not wrong.
01:21:59.200
Like he's actually right, but that's not bad. Like I find a deep sense of purpose and satisfaction
01:22:07.020
and being valuable to you guys. I find a deep sense of satisfaction and purpose in being needed
01:22:14.120
and valuable to my family. Like that's where our meaning comes from is making ourselves more capable
01:22:21.140
and more skilled and more competent and producing effective outcomes for ourselves and other people.
01:22:27.840
And as we do, we boost up our own sense of confidence and self-worth and that's not wrong.
01:22:33.500
That's a good system. And it's an, an equation. That's the beautiful, it's just an equation.
01:22:39.860
There's no guesswork in it. We just need to plug into the equation and do it. And then we produce
01:22:44.680
the results that we want for other people. And then we find a sense of meaning in it for ourselves.
01:22:50.040
Totally. All right, guys, that's all we've got. If you are interested, by the way,
01:22:53.900
orderofman.com slash ironcouncil, orderofman.com slash ironcouncil. It'll be open for about a week,
01:23:00.280
week and a half. And I hope to see you there. All right, Kip, appreciate you putting up for me
01:23:04.840
and my attitude over the last couple of weeks. I wasn't mad. I was just fired up today.
01:23:09.540
Yeah. Yeah. I was going to say, you may have come across more mad today than you did last week.
01:23:14.760
Oh, I'm not mad. I'm like, yes, I'm fired up. We've got a lot to do.
01:23:19.040
So that's good. All right, guys. Yeah, it is. All right. We'll be back on Friday. Until then,
01:23:24.880
go out there, take action and become the man you are meant to be.
01:23:28.800
Thank you for listening to the Order of Man podcast. You're ready to take charge of your life
01:23:33.260
and be more of the man you were meant to be. We invite you to join the order at orderofman.com.