In this week's episode, we discuss a recent incident involving a Home Depot employee who confronted a thief who was trying to steal tools from the store, and the actions of other Home Depot employees who stepped up to the plate and dealt with the situation.
00:01:29.680And it was this guy who stole some, what looks like, allegedly I'll say, stole some tools from Home Depot.
00:01:39.200And he was confronted by an individual and decided that wasn't going to fly.
00:01:48.020So he confronted this, got a little physical.
00:01:49.840And it looks like a few other guys jumped in as well and basically just ripped the stuff out of the guy's hands and kicked him along his way.
00:01:59.940I thought this was interesting for a couple of reasons.
00:02:04.020We can discuss the either or either validate or, you know, decide against the way it was approached.
00:02:46.400The rich get richer, the corporate greedy pigs, et cetera, et cetera.
00:02:50.900And a lot of people seem to take issue with the the fact that I said protecting these stores in the way that these guys did actually impacts the community.
00:03:50.660And then what was interesting, as I saw one the other day where it was a Walgreens or a CVS closing in a high crime area.
00:03:56.980And the community members were crying, literally crying and whining because CVS has their much needed supplies and things that they need for their everyday living, including much needed prescription medication.
00:07:05.420And people need, we've gotten so passive around wanting to offend people that people will openly be dishonest in their dealings because no one will call them out.
00:08:35.360You know, if the guy is, you know, could potentially injure you or kill you, I think you have to be a little bit more aware and be smart of that.
00:08:42.480Also, I would say some people said, call the police.
00:08:48.940And are they even going to do anything?
00:08:51.520Because the odds are that it's more likely that the guys who did assault that individual are going to get in more trouble than the guy who actually walked out of Home Depot with all that shit.
00:09:06.500Stop electing liberal politicians who facilitate and encourage this type of behavior.
00:09:13.620And let's start electing people who are going to uphold the law and abide by their constitutional oaths.
00:09:22.080And let's get ourselves into positions of power so when we have situations like this, we have a criminal prosecution team who actually is going to prosecute criminals harshly for their behavior.
00:09:34.720So, this is why it is so important when guys say, hey, you know, like, I'm not interested in politics.
00:09:46.180So, you get involved and you make smart election decisions and voting decisions because otherwise we're going to see more and more of this.
00:11:16.760And they're jumping into the moral game, in my opinion, here's my rant, is because people currently are lacking meaning and purpose in their lives.
00:11:26.820And I think it goes against the human behavior and natural tendencies to not have meaning.
00:11:37.140I think it's a natural way, part of being human is to have purpose and meaning in our lives.
00:11:43.060And because a reduction of religion, because of the demonization of religion and those kind of things, we have new generations seeking employment with a company that will give it to them.
00:11:56.780You see this all the time, especially in big, woke tech companies, right?
00:12:02.880I want to work for a company that makes a difference, that does these things, right?
00:12:07.060I said another way, I want to work for a company that I can outsource my purpose and meaning to them and latch on to what they are doing to give myself purpose and meaning.
00:12:19.920And I think we need to get really present to the idea that this is just a tool used against you.
00:12:30.220Mark my word, Disney doesn't care about their agendas.
00:12:35.220Most companies don't care about their woke agendas.
00:13:17.900And they're utilizing those moral stances just to enlist you, just to market you, and to use you.
00:13:24.340And the government is doing no different than these organizations.
00:13:28.080And we need to be very careful on when we outsource our moral stance or our purpose and meaning to corporations and governments.
00:13:36.680And I would even add to political parties.
00:13:38.080Here's another stance or another litmus test.
00:13:44.080Do you get fired up and completely sideways when you talk politics with someone and they disagree with you?
00:13:51.040If they do, your identity is way too much wrapped up into that political party that you are willing to be upset when someone disagrees with your political group.
00:14:02.340That tells me you're not mature and emotionally thinking through where you stand, agnostic of those labels.
00:14:11.940So that's, I don't know, maybe that's my rant or that's my call to action, but like it's such an issue and it's pathetic that we fall into this trap so often.
00:14:24.580I was thinking as you were saying that, that we are designed to serve something, especially as men, like we're designed to lead, we're designed to serve.
00:14:35.220But I think this in a greater context really speaks to our relationship with our creator.
00:14:43.860We're designed to serve the mission and we fall short of that.
00:14:46.960We deviate from that because we have our own selfish desires.
00:14:49.500But guys, in the absence of a moral higher power, we're still going to serve something to your point, Kip.
00:14:56.300And so we find an inferior doctrine to worship, which is like the doctrine of woke culture.
00:15:03.540One thing you guys have heard me say is the doctrine of popular culture, which is this woke ideology that every indicator of power is a sign of, you know, some sort of tyrannical patriarchy.
00:15:18.480And, and oppression and victimization, heaven forbid, it was on merit itself.
00:15:24.200And then there's also this revisionist history in these quote unquote AI things.
00:15:28.560I don't even like artificial intelligence because it's, it's an oxymoron a little bit when, when somebody's in there coding their own biases into programs and then saying that this is separate of those biases.
00:15:40.620It's not clearly what was written as the algorithm for Gemini was written by an individual who has a bias as we all do, but then it's marketed as, is, as no bias at all, completely independent and separate from any personal bias.
00:15:59.500When clearly it's not, but I wrote, or I pulled something up here that I thought was interesting.
00:16:04.500And this, this scripture actually, actually came to mind and I'm not any sort of biblical scholar by any means, but for whatever reason, the word, drop the word on Monday.
00:16:13.000I remember this for some reason, I remember this and it's, um, it's Matthew 6, 24.
00:16:19.680And I'll just read from the King James version.
00:16:21.420It says, no man can serve two masters for he will either hate the one and love the other, or else he will hold to the one and despise the other.
00:16:31.800You cannot serve God and mammon, which is equated to money, wealth, abundance, that sort of thing.
00:16:38.340Guys, if we're worshiping the wrong thing, whether it's this doctrine of popular culture or other people, influencers on social media, or any number of things that we fall prey to and create as false idols, we're going to despise the other.
00:16:54.600And the other is virtue, righteousness, God's word.
00:17:36.180So we're going to fill out some questions from the Iron Council to learn more about the, our exclusive brotherhood, the Iron Council, go to orderofman.com slash ironcouncil.
00:17:44.500Ruffling about 10 days or so, we're going to be opening up and rolling the 15th of March.
00:17:50.340So once again, orderofman.com slash ironcouncil.
00:17:53.140First question, Jay Gerdulo, do you ever find yourself feeling cynical about the world and how do you overcome this feeling?
00:18:02.500I really like this question because I'm overly cynical about the world, right?
00:18:10.400And how do we, like, I'm assuming what Jay's asking is like, how do we, how do we be positive too and not just be a downer all the time, right?
00:18:17.640I think it's natural to experience cynicism.
00:18:19.960I would be worried if I was never cynical about anything because it would almost indicate a lack of care, some sort of apathy towards whatever we might be dealing with.
00:18:31.280And there are things that I frankly just don't care about.
00:18:34.000And there's other things that I get fired up.
00:18:36.840I mean, we just did two headlines that both of us are excited about, right?
00:18:40.580I don't know that we were being cynical necessarily.
00:18:43.120I hope we were looking at it intelligently and reasonably.
00:18:46.100But yeah, I do get cynical about a lot of things that I see, whether it's in the work environment or somebody hoses me or in culture in general or even in relationships.
00:18:56.760You know, it's easy to think the worst about somebody or jump to conclusions or let your insecurities get in the way.
00:19:04.840So I think realizing that being cynical is actually just a human condition and it's designed to keep you safe and protected.
00:19:14.260That awareness is really helpful because then you can decide how to respond to the way that you're feeling.
00:19:21.680So to me, the emotion isn't the problem.
00:19:35.820The problem is how do we respond to it?
00:19:38.840So the analogy that I've used is what you just said.
00:19:41.840If you're looking at your dashboard on your vehicle, you're driving down the road and the little flickering light comes on and says low gas, you don't jerk your car off the side of the road and go wrap it around a tree or a telephone pole.
00:20:30.820But being aware of it helps you refine it, helps you temper it, helps you understand that, you know, it's how do I respond to what I'm feeling?
00:20:45.340And to answer Jay's question, I think it's taking action.
00:20:51.100If something comes up and I get frustrated about it, but there's nothing I can do about it, then I try to let those things slide.
00:20:58.380Because what's the point of just stewing and brewing on something that's just going to piss me off all day?
00:21:04.180But then I can segment the things that I'm interested in or that I'm cynical about or frustrated with into and compartmentalize into items of action.
00:21:13.540Now, all of a sudden, if I see something going wrong and I take action, I'm not as cynical about it because I'm moving towards the result.
00:21:21.720I'm actually part of the solution, not just griping and moaning about the problem.
00:21:26.000So the answer to me is taking action, leaving what you have no control over, taking action towards the things that you do and be, as I think Gandhi would say, be the change that you want to see in the world.
00:21:38.740Yeah. The only thing that I'd add, and I'm projecting what I do, is I'll do that, Ryan. I'll take action, but I'll take an action while having a heart at war towards you the whole time.
00:21:52.560Right? And so I'll be like, Ryan should have done this. And so the whole time, I'll take action. I'll get it done.
00:21:59.680But I'm doing it really from a real negative space. Right? And then I'll show up. I'll show up really negative.
00:22:07.640And so for me, what has been powerful is understanding the human condition.
00:22:15.100Far too often, most things that make me upset, it's a human. It's not like the weather's bad and I'm mad at the weather. I don't get mad at the weather.
00:22:24.700But I get mad at some moron that does something that I'm like, why did you do it that way? And I don't, you know what I mean?
00:22:30.220And I've placed harsh judgment on them. And I have this expectation of how it should or should have gone.
00:22:35.740And I'll take action. But the whole time, I'm doing it in a really negative way. And the best way that I've learned to deal with that is to understand the human condition.
00:22:46.140That most people, when they're doing something stupid, they're not doing it to piss me off. That they're actually trying. That based upon where they are in their life, that's the best they could do.
00:22:57.860They don't know a better way. Or they're acting out of insecurity. There's so much to the story. And I need to have grace towards other humans and realizing that they have their own battles.
00:23:14.740They're trying their best. And I need to be a little bit slower to judge.
00:23:18.860And then look at the opportunity as a space to serve and to help. Not as a space to get it done and then rub it in their face. Or, you know what I mean? Other negative emotions towards them.
00:23:30.680Yeah. Well, I like what you said. The other only consideration here is, I know Jay, both of us do personally. He's a good friend of both of ours.
00:23:37.340He's in a line of work where it would be hard not to be cynical. He's a police officer.
00:23:42.160So, he's dealing with not only, you know, some of the worst people on the planet at times, but he's also dealing with the red tape and the bureaucracy and the bullcrap.
00:23:53.440And in those instances, I think you do the best that you can do. You remember why you're doing it. You try to make a difference.
00:24:00.240And then also, you try to compartmentalize it. So, when you get home, leave that stuff as best you can and engage with your family, engage with your hobbies and your activities and your interests and the things that fuel you in a positive, constructive way.
00:24:13.900Because you spend so much time in a really dark profession and one that is increasingly unpopular in the country, which makes it even harder.
00:24:22.220Yeah, it's super tough. I've had, I've known friends that were in law enforcement and their primary reason of stepping away is just it was eating at them.
00:25:05.800All right. Pramit Ball. He has a question around self-worth. This is fun, actually. I really like this. So, thanks, Pramit, for submitting this.
00:25:14.760I would like some strategies around building self-worth outside of what's going on at work.
00:25:21.840Context, I have gotten laid off in September. And while I was able to find a new job fairly quickly, I've had to take a pay cut for it.
00:25:28.960While I do enjoy the new role, it has been a big improvement in terms of my physical and mental health.
00:25:35.080I do find myself tying some of my self-worth to what I make now.
00:25:40.220So, based upon his compensation. Am I on a work visa, so I can't run any active side income streams? Thanks again.
00:25:49.720Yeah, look. We use the term worth, like as a net worth, as in financial. It is a metric. I'm not going to pretend it isn't.
00:25:57.560You know? And so, I look at the measurement of my income as a metric of the value I've provided to other people.
00:26:06.640And I don't think there's anything wrong with that, by the way.
00:26:08.700Now, if we tie up all of our identity into what we make, because look, you can have broke people who are great people and you can have rich people who are horrible people and vice versa.
00:26:18.740So, it's not merely, or it's not the sum of your worth. It's a fraction or an element of your worth.
00:26:26.360And then your question is, what do you do outside of it?
00:26:29.800Well, you keep commitments with yourself and you be aspirational.
00:26:32.400So, you're listening to this on a Wednesday. We're recording on Monday. I start every day with aspirations.
00:26:39.280And I'm not talking about some sort of affirmation that I read. That's never been a thing for me.
00:26:44.040I know, Kip, you do a little bit more than I do. It's just, it doesn't resonate with me.
00:26:48.900What I do is I think about what I want to accomplish this day.
00:29:34.100Jacob Paulson, at what age do you take a boy, your son, or a young man in your life and take him from needing to be provided for to teaching him to be providing?
00:29:45.740And not just a financial way, in a way of serving their mom instead of the other way around, or the sense where they become the up-and-coming man that leads by serving and serving by leading.
00:30:01.780I think it happens around, let me say it this way.
00:30:05.620I think it starts around age three or four.
00:30:08.120Like, I don't know if there's much you can do beforehand.
00:30:12.160You know, you're still engaging, being there, being present.
00:30:14.820And really, you're just being present and being an example.
00:30:16.860But if you're not thinking about that kind of stuff at age three or four years old, like having them clean up their room, potty training them, having them engage around the house and doing chores and projects.
00:30:34.440You know, if you're not having them clean out the car because they spilled French fries everywhere.
00:30:38.840Like, if you're not doing those things at age three or four years old, I think you're really missing the mark.
00:30:44.380And now, granted, it's going to become more evolved as time goes.
00:30:48.240As they get older, there's going to be more projects.
00:30:53.480There's going to be more things to do.
00:30:56.480Then you're getting a job, contributing, like not buying everything for them.
00:31:01.900When it comes to grades, you know, keeping their grades up and where they need to be or being active in sports in order to validate you, maybe paying for their car insurance or their cell phone bill or whatever it might be.
00:31:13.380But also then being present and available and showing them what you do, how you do it, how you show up.
00:31:21.300I know you didn't hear a lot of that, but I just kept going.
00:31:23.460But just being present and available as they get older and then taking them on things, whether it's taking them to work, involving them in your projects, taking them on hunting trips and letting them see you interact with other people.
00:32:07.260And from the time I was little to the time I became an adult at 18, that's what she was doing, ensuring that I was out on my own.
00:32:15.120I think the question, I don't think you're asking it this way, but the way you're saying it almost makes it sound like one day we're just supposed to turn it on and they're supposed to be independent.
00:32:26.100Well, guys, it doesn't work like that.
00:32:28.600Give them projects, give them chores, give them tasks, gives them responsibility.
00:32:32.860Let them deal with consequences of their poor decision making.
00:32:36.700And I think by the time 18 rolls around, it's like a no brainer.
00:32:39.820They're chomping at the bit to get out of there and be independent.
00:32:41.920I can't help but see a correlation here.
00:32:45.000I think it is part of the human condition to want to contribute in meaningful ways.
00:32:50.540And when you're not, you lack self-confidence, you lack purpose and you lack meaning in your life.
00:32:56.820Maybe said another way, you feel depressed and you don't know what your role is in the world.
00:33:01.800So you, your children, our employees, our co-workers, our spouses, everybody, the best way for us to find fulfillment in life is to contribute in meaningful ways, is through service, is that you feel great about who you are and the role that you're playing in the world.
00:33:25.100We shouldn't be robbing our kids of it because they're too young.
00:33:27.760Let them contribute in meaningful ways.
00:33:32.600I spent this last weekend, I was putting up smoke detectors in the house because we can't get occupancy at the lake house without freaking 40 smoke detectors all over the place.
00:38:37.480One thing I've done recently that's kind of fun, I'm in the process of getting this all worked out.
00:38:44.300So, I bought these old school ham radios and I have one in my truck with a truck mount so you can get better range, like a truck antenna.
00:38:56.780So, I can just pop it on, extra battery and a cigarette adapter for it and then I plan to have one in my wife's car and then I have another one that stays in the house.
00:39:11.800I've tested them a little bit in regards to like range and it's been quite shocking on how some serious range I can get with the truck antenna.
00:39:36.800Until I need it and then I'll be like, God damn it, I should have traded with Kip.
00:39:39.740The other thing I have in there is I have, you got me a couple of years ago, this like USB charging station, but it's like the highest of the best thing there is.
00:41:07.300Garrett Brock, due to the rise in number of divorce, my question is about co-parenting with ex-partner.
00:41:14.360But I would appreciate hearing your thoughts on dealing with your ex-partner's new spouse and or being the new spouse to a partner with children and dealing with their ex-partner as a step-parent.
00:41:25.520For example, do you attempt to create an extra positive relationship with other co-parents or just remain neutral and avoidant when possible?
00:41:34.020I understand that there's no reset guidelines or rule book in this area, but I want the best outcome for my family.
00:41:40.580I hope this isn't too broad of a topic.
00:41:42.760I appreciate your transparency in life as we all learn on each other as men and we learn together.
00:41:49.400I can't speak to being with a new spouse or her being with a new spouse.
00:41:56.180I can't speak to that because I'm not in that situation.
00:41:58.980But how would you approach it anyway, though?
00:42:02.100Because I would want to know how you would approach it.
00:42:04.960Yeah, I think in that circumstance, what I would do is just have some very clear lines of communication with my spouse about the expectation, about even before that person becomes a spouse as you're dating.
00:42:23.520You know, what role are you wanting me to play?
00:42:27.000How do you want me to help you raise your children?
00:42:36.720Like, I think these are all really good conversations to have.
00:42:40.880Making sure that those lines of communication are open.
00:42:44.020As far as dealing with the spouse of your ex, again, I'm not in that situation, so I can't speak from experience.
00:42:53.720But I think I would want to have the most respectful relationship with that person as I can.
00:42:59.400They're going to be a big part of my children's lives.
00:43:03.380And if I create a bunch of unnecessary contention and animosity and hostility, that's naturally, inevitably going to pour down to my children.
00:43:12.500It may make me look bad, which undermines my credibility and influence with them.
00:43:18.700It could potentially cause legal problems, altercations that I'm not interested in getting into.
00:43:27.020So, it's easy for me to say from where I sit right now because things change when the reality of the situation takes place.
00:43:36.240But from a level-headed perspective, I think that's where I would try to come from.
00:43:41.600And then same thing with dealing with your new wife's ex, if that's the case, is, you know, as respectful as it can possibly be.
00:43:53.620You know, you don't have to be chums or buddies or go on vacations together.
00:44:01.800You know, but I think that's a conversation you should have with your spouse.
00:44:04.520But I would attempt to make it as cordial and respectful as possible.
00:44:08.720I think I would try to be as accommodating as I possibly can within reason, making sure that our boundaries are established, communicated, and upheld.
00:44:16.500But, yeah, I'm not interested in a bunch of unnecessary contention from any party involved.
00:44:23.380And so, I think the best way to do is just keep as level-headed as you can, be as cordial and respectful and polite as you can,
00:44:29.320and, you know, hope that she made a good choice.
00:44:32.300Hopefully, you made a good choice and do the best you can.
00:46:14.560Regarding your recent discussion on rationalization, I like what Kip said about it being a cue that he knows the thing he's rationalizing is wrong and that he uses it to trigger to do the opposite.
00:46:27.120Discussing this with other brothers, rationalizing can look awfully a lot like carefully planning of effective tactics.
00:46:34.560What are some indicators for you that identifies the difference between those two?
00:48:11.080Would you say most excuses result with the idea of it's outside of your control versus a reason always comes back to ultimately what you could or could have not done or what pivots you're going to make versus an excuse often is like, well, it's over here and there's nothing I could do about it and, you know.
00:48:31.740Yeah, because an excuse is rarely – somebody rarely says something like this as an excuse.
00:48:57.820Versus a reason would be, yeah, you know, my boss didn't get us the information that we needed, but maybe I should have been a little bit more clear and forthright about getting all the pertinent information I needed.
00:49:12.320He should still get that information to you.
00:49:14.280But also, it's putting some responsibility on you, which is really the only thing you can control.
00:49:19.860And so, you might, in this situation, go to your boss and say, hey, boss, I just have some questions I need to clear up because I don't think I have all the information.
00:49:36.980Is there some sort of system that we could follow to make sure, like, all of this is relayed just so my team can get all the information to you on time and make you look the best we can?
00:49:44.620Like, I might not say it like that, but ideally, that's what you're trying to do.
00:49:48.160And so, it's still that he didn't get the information to you, but your framing is, what can I do to ensure this is better from him moving forward?
00:51:31.900So, I don't know if it's an integrity issue as much as it is just you've got to look at the entire picture and focus on the part that you can control, not what's outside of your control.
00:53:03.420I don't try people to do something they don't want to do.
00:53:06.700So, really, often I realize that my role in life has more been in the space of to illuminate and present possibilities for others to consider for themselves.
00:53:18.360Because if any of you guys listening pivots based upon what we're saying due to argument, but it goes against your nature or whatever, and you're just doing it because the Ryan and Kip show said so, then that's fleeting anyway.
00:53:38.440Most impactful change and growth is always going to be in the space of your own creation.
00:53:52.240We could rant on this some other time.
00:53:54.720But in the highest level of understanding and learning is creation.
00:54:00.740There's a concept called Bloom's Taxonomy, creation.
00:54:03.200And when I create my own meaning from what I hear from you, Ryan, when I find it like it now becomes part of me, it's like my version of it now, that's way more sticky and transformative than me just pivoting and doing things because, you know, this influencer said so and so I'll try it out.
00:54:27.960And so more and more, I realize that I just feel like our job is to create possibilities and things for people to consider.
00:54:35.480But in the end, you got to figure it out for yourself.
00:54:39.180Not because we said it, not because anybody else, because, you know, and it's only through that shift of paradigm at your level that anything really matters and sticks with you anyway.
00:54:54.060I wrote down, well, I wrote down three questions as you were saying that because I feel like obviously we're not asking questions in this setting because we're answering our questions, you know.
00:55:05.480But I wrote these three questions down that I try to ask in a roundabout way or in some sort of way with other people that I want to see succeed and win.
00:55:31.020You know, just trying to get somebody else's perspective, not so you can figure out and manipulate and coerce and pigeonhole them into certain things.
00:57:37.760I just, in moments of clarity like we're talking now, where you're not emotionally vested in the decision-making process, it's easy to say this is what we ought to be doing more of.
00:57:45.720And this is something that I'm trying to be better at.