Order of Man - My Gratitude For You and Vision for Order of Man ｜ FRIDAY FIELD NOTES

00:00:00.000 You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest. Embrace your fears and boldly chart

00:00:05.000 your own path. When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time. Every time.

00:00:10.440 You are not easily deterred or defeated. Rugged. Resilient. Strong. This is your life. This is who

00:00:17.240 you are. This is who you will become. At the end of the day, and after all is said and done,

00:00:22.800 you can call yourself a man. Gentlemen, what is going on today? Welcome to the Order of Man

00:00:28.620 Podcast. My name is Ryan Michler, and I am the host and the founder of not only the podcast,

00:00:32.860 but the movement. Fellas, it is a movement. It's a movement to reclaim and restore what

00:00:37.540 it means to be a man in a society that seems to be dismissing it and masculinity seems to

00:00:43.700 be dwindling. So if you're a man and you're tuning in, I'm glad you're here. We need more

00:00:48.940 of us in this fight. I've got an interesting Friday field notes for you today. Before I

00:00:52.620 get into that, I do want to just let you know briefly what we're all about and what we're

00:00:56.140 doing here, especially if you're tuning in for the first time. And man, it's pretty incredible

00:00:59.720 to see how many downloads and how many people are tuning into this podcast. And it's evident

00:01:05.540 that there are a lot of new men who are listening. So if you are for the first time, this is again,

00:01:11.000 Friday field notes. You get to listen to me and my ramblings and my thoughts from throughout

00:01:14.980 the week. We also do an interview show, which is released each and every Tuesday. I'm interviewing

00:01:20.060 some incredible, incredible men, guys like Jocko Willink and Leif Babin, Tim Kennedy,

00:01:24.340 uh, Grant Cardone, Andy Frisilla. Oh man, you name it. Dakota Meyer. Uh, we just did an

00:01:30.960 interview with Jack Carr, which will be coming out here in the, uh, the next couple of weeks.

00:01:35.840 Ed Milet, Bedras Koulian. I mean, so, so many guys, so many guys, if these are incredible men

00:01:40.360 and they're doing incredible things in the world, it's my job to get them here and extract

00:01:45.180 some of that knowledge and wisdom so that we can apply it in our lives. And then in addition

00:01:49.380 to that, you get to hear me and Kip every Wednesday on our, ask me anything where we're

00:01:54.420 fielding questions from you and the Facebook group, our exclusive brotherhood, the iron

00:01:58.680 council and our Patreon account, which is fairly new. If you want to check that out, you can

00:02:03.500 go to, uh, patreon.com slash order of men and check out what the, what the perks are and

00:02:10.060 everything that we're doing over there. All right, guys, I've got an interesting one lined

00:02:14.520 up for you today. Obviously I want to talk about gratitude, uh, which is the title of

00:02:18.860 the podcast, but I don't want to be so cliche. I mean, we're, we're all going to hear about

00:02:22.100 gratitude and I think sometimes we feel obligated to be grateful. And I certainly don't want it

00:02:29.420 to come across like that, but there are some things that I would like to talk with you about

00:02:34.380 as far as what I have experienced over the past three years in my personal and professional

00:02:38.940 life. And I want to share that with you. Uh, I also want to talk with you a little bit

00:02:42.520 about, uh, the direction of order of man, what this is all about, who this is for, what

00:02:47.620 problems we're even trying to solve and the vision and the direction that I have for this

00:02:53.520 movement moving forward. So we're going to get into that as well. Uh, I do want to make

00:02:57.260 one other quick mention before I get into that. Normally I talk about my show sponsors origin

00:03:02.020 main and certainly go check them out. Uh, but today I just wanted to make a very quick

00:03:06.200 mention that we have some black Friday deals going on in our store. If you've never checked

00:03:13.020 out the order of man store, head to store.orderofman.com. You can check out the shirts, the hats, uh,

00:03:19.760 the beanie, the battle planner, the writer's log, everything, everything that we've got going

00:03:25.300 on over there. And we're doing a 10% discount this weekend. So it's today, Friday. If you're

00:03:31.180 listening to this, as this comes out, it's Saturday and it's also Sunday. So if you want

00:03:35.460 something, this is the weekend to get it. If you want to get something for somebody else

00:03:40.020 for Christmas or a birthday or whatever, uh, then I would suggest that you do it this

00:03:45.220 weekend. It'll cost you a little bit less. So check it out. Store.orderofman.com. All

00:03:50.180 right, guys, let's get into the meat of the discussion today. I was reading a really interesting

00:03:53.960 book. I was in the airport with, uh, my son. We went on a hunt together and it seems like

00:03:58.500 every time I go into the airport, I pick up a new book and most of them I don't get all the

00:04:02.220 way through. But this is one that I, frankly, I can't put it down. It's a really, really

00:04:06.960 good book. And it's a fascinating look into marketing and how to articulate vision and

00:04:12.640 the things that you're doing. And it's called, this is marketing clever title, which is you

00:04:17.660 can't be seen until you learn to see that's the subtitle and it's by Seth Godin. So I'm

00:04:21.900 going to talk about that today. But, uh, right before I get into that, let me just tell you

00:04:25.360 really quickly, some things that I'm thankful for. Uh, obviously Thanksgiving was yesterday.

00:04:29.500 We had an amazing time with a family and, uh, just did, just did the family thing, you

00:04:34.080 know, just enjoyed stories and laughter and being together in the abundance that we've

00:04:38.020 been able to enjoy, uh, and the fortune we've been able to enjoy as well. And I hope you guys

00:04:43.140 are experiencing that as well. Um, the things that I'm thankful for this year, uh, first

00:04:47.580 and foremost is my family. I've got my wife of 14 and a half years. I shouldn't delay on

00:04:54.800 that. I shouldn't stall. I should know that right off hand, but 14 and a half years, uh,

00:04:58.620 I've got four amazing kids. They're happy, they're healthy. And about 97% of the time,

00:05:05.360 they're a real joy to be around the other 3% of the time. If you're a father, you know

00:05:09.720 exactly what I'm talking about there, but man, I am just so fortunate. And it's actually

00:05:15.120 really interesting considering I nearly let that all go, uh, about almost 10 years ago

00:05:21.420 now through my behavior and through the lack of accountability and responsibility for myself

00:05:28.660 as a man in my own life. And I've just been so blessed with that. And I'm so grateful

00:05:33.220 that I chose to take a different path regarding masculinity and what it means to be a husband

00:05:37.320 and what it means to be a father. And, uh, I thank the Lord every day for the gifts and

00:05:42.500 talents and abilities that he has blessed me and bestowed upon me and the opportunities

00:05:46.480 that he's given me to learn to shore up some of my weaknesses. And it's certainly those

00:05:50.600 things that have helped me, uh, become that better father and that better husband and the

00:05:56.320 business owner and the community leader and all the things that I'm trying to be. And of

00:05:59.560 course, I think all the things that you're trying to be as well. Uh, I've got a lot of room for

00:06:03.120 improvement, but to say that, uh, I haven't been blessed and I'm not fortunate in my life would

00:06:08.660 be a huge disservice to my creator. So I'm grateful for all that I have when it comes to my

00:06:14.340 spirituality and the gospel and the direction and purpose and sense of knowing where it is

00:06:22.260 I want to go and knowing what my ultimate objective here is my time on this planet. Uh,

00:06:27.020 the other things I'm, I'm thankful for is this country. You know, I joined the military when

00:06:31.380 I was 18, I joined the national guard and did the, the one weekend a month and the two weeks

00:06:36.180 a year for training. And it was great. It was a good experience. Um, I learned a lot about

00:06:40.820 sacrifice and teamwork and camaraderie and brotherhood and working hard and doing all

00:06:45.360 the things that those of you who are in the military. And, and I make sure, I want to make

00:06:48.600 sure I mentioned first responders as well, because I think they fall into a very similar category.

00:06:54.300 Uh, and so I learned a lot about what it means to be a man through my service. And then ultimately

00:06:59.860 ended up going to Iraq in 2005 and being there through mid 2006. And to see,

00:07:05.900 to see a country in Iraq that is just polar opposites from what we here in America enjoy 1.00

00:07:14.980 and the blessings that we have and the sacrifice of so many, so many men and women who have given

00:07:23.700 and paid the ultimate sacrifice for us to enjoy the lives that we enjoy. And regardless of where

00:07:31.300 you are in your life, I know some of you are on, on highs right now. And I know some of you are on

00:07:35.520 lows, but regardless of where you are in life right now, uh, I think it's safe to assume that we have

00:07:40.920 that we have it, uh, better than just about 99% of the population out there. So we are fortunate that

00:07:47.700 way. I'm grateful for my service. I'm grateful for those men and women who continue to, to hold the

00:07:54.240 line, who continue to go out and they leave their families and they're not here for Thanksgiving.

00:07:58.760 I did one, one Thanksgiving and Christmas away from my family when I was in Iraq. And I can tell you

00:08:04.020 that it is a difficult time, you know, we're out there and we've got purpose and motivation and

00:08:08.280 drive. And we, we know what we're doing and we know what the mission is. And we try to stay focused

00:08:11.580 on that, but to know that the families are home and, and, and the holidays are just kind of a rough

00:08:15.940 thing. So to those military members who are serving overseas, I'm grateful for them, uh, so that

00:08:23.180 me and you and the other people who aren't don't have to be that they're out doing the work they need

00:08:27.960 to be doing. And then I think about these, uh, fires, you know, in California, and I think about

00:08:31.960 our first responders and I think about the work and the sacrifice and this, uh, everything that goes

00:08:37.300 with, uh, leading that kind of life and putting yourself in situations, literally running towards

00:08:43.880 the fire when everyone else is running away. I think that is a, a very small minority, a small

00:08:50.320 percentage of the people in this country. And man, I, we've just got to express more gratitude to them.

00:08:56.380 So those are the biggest things I'm grateful for. Of course I can go on and on and on all day about

00:09:00.680 everything I have. And I try to count my blessings as often as I can, but man, Thanksgiving is a great

00:09:05.020 reminder for me to just stop for a second, just stop. You know, I get down on myself and I, and I

00:09:11.600 beat myself up and I think, man, I want to be stronger or I want to have more money in the bank

00:09:15.860 account, or I want to have more listeners to the podcast. And I want to be like this guy and that

00:09:20.560 guy. And Thanksgiving for me is just a great time to sit down, to stop, turn around, spend some

00:09:26.780 time with the family, reflect upon not what I want, but what I have. And, uh, I have been

00:09:32.160 blessed with so much. And the last thing that I'll share with you here that I'm grateful

00:09:36.020 for is you, is you, you know, you, you outside of the mission and the things that we're doing

00:09:42.000 here with order of man. And that certainly made me a better man. You have no idea. And

00:09:47.860 I don't think that you ever will. I don't think that I'll ever be able to adequately express

00:09:51.820 all that each and every one of you who are listening to this podcast and tuned into the

00:09:56.280 Facebook group and have bought my book and all the things that you've done to support

00:09:59.840 me in this organization. I can't ever fully express my gratitude. I've only been in this

00:10:05.980 game for four years, but I never would have imagined if you were to rewind four years, uh,

00:10:10.860 being where I am today, never would have imagined leading this movement and, and, and trying to

00:10:16.080 be a voice for genuine and authentic masculinity in this society. And I, I, I just an author

00:10:22.500 and a podcaster, I just never would have thought that. And I feel like I've been fortunate. I

00:10:28.320 feel like frankly, that I've got some gifts and abilities that I've developed over time

00:10:32.120 and that I've been blessed with that have helped me to be successful in this endeavor.

00:10:36.420 But at the end of the day, none of that would matter without you, without you tuning in,

00:10:42.240 without you improving your lives as men, uh, without you sharing this podcast and leaving

00:10:48.140 the ratings reviews and buying the books and buying the products and sharing with the people

00:10:51.840 in your life, everything that you're doing and, and sharing the messages with me. You guys help me

00:10:56.480 be better men. When I started this, my goal was to set out on a, on a mission to equip you as men

00:11:03.660 with all of the tools and the resources and the guidance and direction and conversations that you

00:11:08.620 need in your life to step up. And I never would have imagined that I would be the greatest

00:11:15.420 recipient of the, the work that we're doing here. And that's a testament to you. So keep it up guys,

00:11:24.060 keep it up. You inspire me, you motivate me and you help me become a better man. So those are the

00:11:30.120 things I'm thankful for this year. Of course, a lot more, those are a few key items that I'm thankful

00:11:34.760 for. What I want to do now is I just want to take, and I've got some notes here. Um, I, I, I just

00:11:42.080 written some things down. I've got an outline here based on the book that I talked about earlier,

00:11:46.400 which is called this is marketing by Seth Godin. And the subtitle is you can't be seen until you

00:11:51.800 learn to see. And as I was reading this book and I'm about halfway through right now, so I've got a lot,

00:11:56.600 a lot of information to go through still. I really found it fascinating or interesting that he would

00:12:06.840 talk about learning to see. And this is what I want to talk with you about today is, is what I see.

00:12:14.020 I want to talk with you about some of the problems that I see in society and some of the problems that

00:12:20.100 I think more men seem to be facing. I want to talk with you about who this movement is for.

00:12:26.840 And I want to start to narrow that down. And I realized as I talk about these things,

00:12:30.100 frankly, it might turn some of you off. You might be listening to this and think,

00:12:32.840 man, what, whatever Ryan's talking about right now is not what I signed up for is not what I'm

00:12:37.680 interested in. And to that, I say, I'm willing to take that risk because I'm to the point now

00:12:43.540 in this movement where I really need to plant the flag. And I feel like I've been holding up the flag

00:12:49.940 a little bit, if you will, and waving it around, but I feel like I'm to the point where I need to

00:12:55.120 plant this flag and say, this is the hill. This is the hill, the battle, the hill I'm willing to

00:13:00.260 die on. This is what we stand for. If you're with us, join us. If you're not, that's fine too.

00:13:06.600 Find something that's going to be purposeful and meaningful and significant for you. But this is

00:13:11.260 what we're doing here. So I want to talk with you about who this movement is for. And then the

00:13:16.160 last component of our discussion today is I want to talk about the vision. What is the vision that I

00:13:21.580 have for order of man? What is the vision for the future? What is it that I'm trying to accomplish?

00:13:26.100 And ultimately you can decide if you want to help me accomplish that or, or not. And I hope more of

00:13:31.380 you say that you do want to help me accomplish that then don't. All right. So let's talk about

00:13:37.020 this. Let's get, let's get into the problems first. There's a lot of different problems. I want to talk

00:13:40.840 about this from two levels. First, I want to talk about it from a societal level. And then I want to talk

00:13:45.780 about it as, as an individual level. And these might overlap a little bit too, but let's just take

00:13:49.720 society in general. Uh, I look around and I've told you this before. And as I see a society that

00:13:56.220 seems to continue to dismiss masculinity and manliness, we see all sorts of attempts to

00:14:02.520 redefine and, and, and make it new. I just got an email from somebody earlier today that said that

00:14:07.240 they need to deconstruct masculinity and build it up in a new, entirely different way. And I see this

00:14:13.520 stuff all the time. And let's be honest. I mean, probably part of the reason that I see this

00:14:17.760 is because I'm, I'm, I'm in it, right? You may not be so saturated with this information because

00:14:23.980 you are not in it the way that I am. This is my, this is my life, frankly. And so I see a lot of

00:14:29.440 things about why masculinity is bad and toxic masculinity and fragile masculinity and, and

00:14:36.020 masculinity in general is inherently evil. And I, and I see these things in society. And you know what?

00:14:40.840 I do believe at this point that it is a, a vocal minority. I don't think that the majority of men

00:14:47.160 out there believe some of these things. I don't even remotely believe that the women out there 0.99

00:14:53.000 believe these things. I think at the end of the day, most men and most women would agree that a

00:14:58.920 man's role and responsibility is to protect, to provide and to preside. And that has been our

00:15:05.840 motto. That has been our rallying cry. Uh, that has been an operating system by the way that I wish

00:15:11.780 in, in which I live my life since we started this movement to protect yourself, other people,

00:15:18.420 and those who can't do it for themselves to provide physically, mentally, emotionally,

00:15:23.140 and spiritually for yourself and the people you have a responsibility for. And then to preside,

00:15:28.040 to lead, to lead with, with class and integrity and honor and strength and decisiveness and

00:15:33.760 assertiveness and all of the things that we look for in the leaders that, that we follow,

00:15:38.220 the leaders that I personally follow have those characteristics. It is our responsibility as men

00:15:42.920 to be those things. And we are inherently bestowed some talents and some gifts and,

00:15:49.220 and some biology that helps us excel in these areas. And there's too many men out there who are

00:15:55.800 shirking their responsibilities. There are too many men out there who don't know how to be a good

00:16:01.060 husband and how to be a good father and how to give back and contribute in a meaningful and

00:16:06.700 significant way to their businesses and their communities. And it's my job to ensure that I

00:16:12.440 give you everything that you could possibly need in order to do that. That is my goal. It's my goal

00:16:19.120 to plant the flag of masculinity and reclaim what that actually means in this society that seems to get

00:16:27.740 it more and more skewed and more and more backwards. I get messages every day from people who say I'm wrong

00:16:35.320 or it's antiquated ways of thinking. And, and you know what, the other thing I get a lot is that I'm

00:16:41.100 too, I'm too hard in my, in my rhetoric that, that I need to tone it back. Then he needs to soften it up

00:16:48.000 that, that we should be more vulnerable and we should be more emotional. And, and I'll tell you what,

00:16:52.560 there's a time and a place for some of those things, but I absolutely despise the word vulnerable

00:16:57.680 because it has just been taken and just to the extreme. And I realized that there are times we

00:17:05.360 have to be vulnerable. There are times where we might need to understand our emotions a little bit

00:17:12.580 better. But the reason you won't hear me talk a whole lot about that is because that's where you're

00:17:16.380 going to, that's what you're going to hear everywhere. Everybody's talking about that. What

00:17:20.580 everybody is not talking about is how to harness, how to control your emotions so that you can do what

00:17:27.080 you need to do as a man, which is to perform. That's your job guys that at the end of the day.

00:17:34.320 And after everything is stripped away as to what your job is, it's to perform as what you might ask

00:17:39.980 a protector, a provider and a presider. And if you're using vulnerability and authenticity and your

00:17:46.140 emotions to help you be those things, all the power to you. But if you're using those things as a,

00:17:52.260 an excuse, a reason why you can't step up the way you're supposed to step up, then you are not

00:17:59.720 behaving in a manly matter. And I think that we need to make the distinction here that there's a,

00:18:05.160 there is a distinction. There's a distinction between what it means to be a man and what it

00:18:10.960 means to be a male. See, a lot of guys will tell me, and I've had people message me and tell me this,

00:18:14.680 that all it takes to be a man is a penis. Well, that's not true because my boys, for example, 0.99

00:18:22.360 have that male anatomy. And yet we call them boys because they're not men. And on the flip side of

00:18:27.360 that, I know 30, 40 year old men, excuse me, males who are still living with mommy and daddy,

00:18:32.740 still doing their thing over there, still mooching off the system and not providing their own way.

00:18:37.580 And those are males, but they're certainly not men. They're not exhibiting masculine or manly behavior.

00:18:43.840 They're the antithesis of men. So it takes significantly more to be a man than your set

00:18:51.000 of anatomy. That's what we're trying to help you become more of. That's what I'm trying to equip

00:18:58.120 you with is all of those tools, the resources, the conversations, and frankly, me saying the things

00:19:04.760 that a lot of people are afraid to say, because they are going to get ridiculed and mocked and

00:19:10.040 ostracized and unappreciated. And I hear that every single day from people. And you know what?

00:19:15.020 It does not deter me one bit. If anything, it gives me more energy to double down on my efforts

00:19:20.660 and what we're doing here, because I can recognize more and more every single day,

00:19:24.160 how important and how critical this work is. So we have this societal trend. We'll say that seems to

00:19:32.820 be dismissing masculinity. Now, from an individual level, I see more and more men living domesticated,

00:19:41.660 sedentary lifestyles where they are not even nearly tapping into a sliver of the potential

00:19:49.560 that they possess. They shirk responsibility. They're shifting blame. They're of course,

00:19:55.700 experiencing less than stellar results when it comes to their fitness and their relationships

00:19:59.240 and their business. And all of these things I'm talking about are describing me 10 years ago.

00:20:03.840 I was the asshole who wasn't doing what I should be doing. And there are things we should be doing. 0.96

00:20:09.720 I wasn't doing those things. I was blaming all of the problems I had in my business on the economy

00:20:15.160 and my lack of training. I was blaming all of the problems I had in my relationship on what my wife 0.98

00:20:21.040 was and what she wasn't doing. And I wasn't taking any responsibility for that. You know, I ask all of my

00:20:27.240 guests on this podcast, what does it mean to be a man? And I can tell you, if there's one underlying

00:20:31.580 thread among everything that any of these guests have said to me, it's that these men take accountability

00:20:37.780 of their own lives and they take responsibility for themselves. I think that is the base foundation

00:20:45.700 of what it means to be a man. That's when a boy actually turns into a man. When he's able,

00:20:50.780 he's willing, able, and capable of taking on that measurement of responsibility for himself and those

00:20:58.160 that he's tasked with. That's why when dad passes away, when a kid's 13, 14, 15 years old, and little

00:21:02.920 Timmy or Bobby steps up to help make an income or to help around the house, that he becomes more of a

00:21:08.400 man than these guys who are sitting in mommy and daddy's basements playing Fortnite or whatever it is

00:21:12.600 they're playing in their pajamas all day. Guys, we've got to find a way to step up. One of my favorite

00:21:19.140 quotes is by John Eldridge, author of Wild at Heart. And he says, deep in his heart, every man longs for

00:21:25.380 a battle to fight, an adventure to live and a beauty to rescue. And yet, if you look at society and you

00:21:31.400 look at, you take a hundred men, you're going to find 90 to 95, maybe even more of those men who

00:21:38.960 can't say that they're doing those three things. No adventure, no battle, no beauty, they're lost,

00:21:46.280 they're purposeless, they're directionless, and they're living a life that they know is not

00:21:53.040 reaching their potential. And this is why I think, I think this is my theory. We're seeing an increase

00:21:59.900 of depression and suicide in men. I don't think it's because we've been suppressing our emotions

00:22:07.160 too long because we've been as men on this and women have been on this planet for tens of thousands, 0.73

00:22:12.720 if not hundreds of thousands of years. And we've always been asked to do the difficult things.

00:22:20.980 We've always been asked to put our emotions and the way we feel about things on the back burner in

00:22:25.420 order to accomplish. And it's just a relatively recent trend. And I think a lot of that is we're

00:22:31.760 shirking our responsibilities. We have obligations. Men operate best when they're actively engaged in an

00:22:39.920 anxious and worthwhile cause, not by my definition, but by yours, you have to define what that is for

00:22:45.640 yourself. So my goal again, and I've said this probably a dozen times in this podcast already

00:22:51.800 to give you the tools, the resources, the guidance, the direction, and everything that you need in order

00:22:57.800 to find some purpose as a man, to find some significance, to find some direction and clarity

00:23:06.580 about how a bold, assertive, strong man shows up in the walls of his house, his business, his community,

00:23:17.780 and every other facet of life. Now there's another thing about this from a societal level that I had

00:23:22.520 made note of that I wanted to share with you really briefly. And then I'll move on from here is that

00:23:28.000 this isn't just anecdotal. This isn't just stuff that I'm like making up here. And I've had some

00:23:34.020 people say that, but there's been studies and results that suggest that masculinity is in fact

00:23:41.200 on the decline and it's measured through testosterone. That's one way anyways, is measured

00:23:46.580 through testosterone. And if you look at testosterone rates among men, they're on the decline. There's a

00:23:53.560 lot of reasons for this. And we've had some guys come on the show to talk about why specifically

00:23:58.300 this is that's above my pay grade. I'm learning more and more, and we'll get more guests on that

00:24:02.280 show on the show to, to discuss it. But, but testosterone is on the decline. And so it's no

00:24:07.800 wonder that more men are living these sedentary lifestyles. They don't have direction. They don't

00:24:12.400 have a battle. They don't have purpose. And frankly, they're behaving more like women. That makes 1.00

00:24:16.160 sense. Biologically, that makes sense. If we, if we're seeing a testosterone on the decline. So

00:24:22.020 these are some of the problems that I see guys. And, and these are some of the problems I'm trying

00:24:26.880 to address. Now let's get into the second segment, which is who is this podcast for? Like if there's

00:24:32.360 one person who is listening to this, if there was one man out there that I could serve, who would he be?

00:24:39.780 What would he look like? What goals and aspirations would he have? What challenges would he be facing?

00:24:48.560 What kind of activities would he be engaged in? How does he view the world? And, and I was listening

00:24:54.600 to a podcast just the other day about, uh, it was something on philosophy. I don't even remember the

00:24:58.880 podcast. And they were talking about the fact that, that there is no absolute truth. Potentially there

00:25:05.580 is no absolute truth. You could take something like math, for example, and say, well, two plus two

00:25:11.300 is always four. That's absolute truth. But if you think about that a little bit further, it's not

00:25:15.860 because two is just a word that somebody constructed to represent something where somebody might say

00:25:23.060 that, that, that, that quantity might be something else. And so all that we're doing here is we're

00:25:28.620 looking at our life through our own lens. It's the lens of our experiences. It's the lens of our

00:25:34.100 cultures and our backgrounds and our conversations and the goods and the bads and the ups and the

00:25:37.900 downs and who we've been in contact with and the information we've been exposed to. This is how

00:25:42.860 we're operating. And, and so I've had a lot of people say, well, you're talking about being a man

00:25:48.040 by whose standard? Mine. It's mine. I'm not arrogant enough to believe that mine is the absolute truth,

00:25:54.700 but I want to be that flag bearer. I want to share with you exactly what I believe it means to be a

00:26:00.340 man. So there's no confusion about the movement that you're involved with. Again, it's not the

00:26:05.160 definitive answer. It's my worldview. And if you share that worldview to a degree, I invite you to

00:26:11.380 band with us. I invite you to go on this mission and get engaged in this battle. If you don't share

00:26:16.700 the worldview, but you're still open to learning something new, a new perspective you hadn't

00:26:20.720 considered, I'd have you join us. If you're not open to a new perspective and you're not open to

00:26:26.360 the way that I in tens, if not hundreds of other thousands of men view masculinity, then I invite

00:26:32.940 you to find somewhere else or create your own worldview where you can talk about what you

00:26:37.800 believe it means to be a man. All right. So let's get into this. Obviously the movement is for men.

00:26:43.560 And if you look at the demographics alone, you can see that most of the listeners, most of the people

00:26:48.520 who are impacted by the work we're doing are between the ages of 25 to 45 years old, any younger than

00:26:53.920 that. And I believe that, you know, a lot of guys aren't really just that interested in this because

00:26:57.860 they don't maybe have families or they're not really on the career path or they're still in

00:27:01.280 school. Now, that's to say that we don't have guys that, that are younger than that, of course.

00:27:06.860 But if I look at my life, it was about 22, 23, maybe 24 years old where I actually started to get

00:27:13.080 serious because I got married at 23 and I, we started to have a family and I was going to Iraq and I was

00:27:20.880 trying to develop and build my career. I think this is the point where, where men actually get 0.52

00:27:24.860 serious. And that's what we're looking for. We're looking for in this movement, men who are serious

00:27:28.460 about improving their lives. If that's not you, this is not a great place to be. It's not a good

00:27:33.000 fit because you'll think that I'm too serious or that my rhetoric is too harsh, which I've heard both. 0.99

00:27:39.440 Now on the flip side of that, if you're older than 45, I would love you to be here, but I think at 45,

00:27:44.780 you probably got some things figured out. Your worldview is secure enough where you are comfortable with

00:27:50.420 where you are. You know, where you are. That's not to say we don't have men who are older than 45 who

00:27:55.160 listen to this, but I found that most of the guys tuning in are between the ages of 25 to 40 or 45

00:28:01.120 years old. They have careers or career aspirations. They typically have young families or a desire to

00:28:08.220 begin having families. They're married. A lot of the guys that listen in are spiritual in nature.

00:28:15.920 So they believe in a higher power because that gives them a sense of direction and purpose.

00:28:21.220 I think a lot of these guys are conservative in their philosophies and viewpoints. Now that's not

00:28:26.340 to say somebody who's more liberal can't be a man or can't tune into what we're doing here. But I think

00:28:31.500 by default, men tend to be probably a little bit more conservative because there's a lot of

00:28:38.120 conservative principles with regards to economics and fiscal policies and accountability and responsibility

00:28:44.420 that seem to resonate with conservative people. So that's one metric. These are guys who have

00:28:52.800 aspirations to do big things in their careers. We have men that are employees and we have men who

00:29:00.440 are entrepreneurs or aspiring entrepreneurs. I would say that an aspiring entrepreneur is probably more

00:29:07.240 inclined to listen to what we're doing here because they do have big aspirations of stepping out and

00:29:13.720 beyond and taking these calculated risks. And I think risk is a big element of what it means to

00:29:18.360 be a man. Those who take risks usually reap the benefits, not always, but usually reap the benefits

00:29:25.600 of those risks. And so if you look at the differences between men and women, taking risks is one of those 0.88

00:29:31.340 deciding factors that generally, okay, generally speaking, men are more likely to take risks in their

00:29:38.020 lives. And that is certainly true of entrepreneurs. They're willing to put some more stuff on the line.

00:29:43.720 Uh, these are guys who want to get their fitness in check. These are guys who want to be strong and

00:29:47.460 they want to be fit. And we want to talk about that. If you don't want to be fit and you don't

00:29:51.140 want to be strong and you want to be sedentary and you want to be mediocre and you're okay and

00:29:54.520 complacent and satisfied with where you are in life, all the power to you, but you're not going to be

00:29:59.820 satisfied by what we're talking about here. Cause I'm going to push and I'm going to poke and I'm

00:30:04.120 going to prod and I'm going to try to fire you up in a way that gets you to get off of your butt or 1.00

00:30:08.980 wherever level you are and elevate the bar, raise the bar, raise the standard. And guys who are 0.95

00:30:15.980 comfortable with where they are, are not comfortable with being challenged. They're not comfortable with

00:30:22.560 being pushed. And so they make all kinds of little excuses as to why this podcast isn't for them or

00:30:27.780 this movement isn't for them or why I'm an asshole and why I'm a jerk. And then they write it off because 1.00

00:30:32.180 they just weren't comfortable with that. I wish that weren't the case. I wish that every man who

00:30:38.160 had the potential of listening to this podcast would be motivated, would be ambitious, would

00:30:43.100 aspire to achieve something great. But I'll tell you what I'm not doing. I'm not turning around the

00:30:48.900 train. I'm not slowing down the train. The best analogy I've ever thought about when it comes to this

00:30:54.720 is you think about somebody who needs to catch the train, but they're running a little bit late and

00:30:59.940 they're on the little dock of the train station there. And the train's not going to stop guys.

00:31:04.940 The train has already left the building. It's already moved. It's moving. I'm not stopping

00:31:08.620 the train. But what I will do is I'll lean out the door and I'll extend my hand for anybody who's

00:31:14.700 willing to run and meet me where they need to meet me and grab my hand and I'll pull you aboard this

00:31:19.060 train. But I'm not slowing down. I'm not taking it easy. I'm not toning it back. I'm not making it

00:31:25.680 more inclusive or more comfortable. So those who aren't comfortable with where they are can

00:31:29.800 feel comfortable about that. I want those men involved in this movement who have big family,

00:31:36.440 career, physical, spiritual, community aspirations and are looking for the next step.

00:31:45.120 They're looking for, as I said earlier, a way to elevate the standard. These are guys who want to be

00:31:50.500 home and want to be present with their families. They want to be at the head of their household.

00:31:56.280 They want to lead effectively. They want their wives to respect, not fear, but respect them in

00:32:03.500 their decision-making process. They want to be assertive, but they also want to be connected

00:32:08.600 with their children. They want to go out into the world and provide some sort of service or product

00:32:14.280 or offering that will enhance other people's lives and in turn will enhance their own lives.

00:32:18.680 They want to live by their own code of conduct, by a set of virtues or operating system in which they

00:32:25.160 can use as the foundation for their growth. They want to go out into the world and serve,

00:32:30.760 serve other people. Those who are less fortunate, those who are members of their community,

00:32:36.140 potentially these gentlemen want to get involved in politics and find ways to make the societies in

00:32:44.180 which they live better. These are the type of men who are going to be attracted by what it is we're

00:32:48.760 doing. And also, and I'll leave with this before I get into division on what we're doing here with

00:32:53.060 Order of Man, is they're unapologetic about it. They're not feeling bad for being a man. They're

00:32:59.420 not feeling bad for having aspirations and having goals. They don't feel like they need or should have

00:33:04.500 to explain why they're trying to excel. They're very, very uncomfortable around mediocre,

00:33:10.920 complacent people. They're antsy. It's like they're jumping out of their seat because they can't sit 0.96

00:33:15.040 still because they got too much shit to get done. They're not comfortable with sitting around. 0.99

00:33:19.600 They're not comfortable with sleeping in. They're not comfortable with quote unquote, okay. And so when

00:33:26.920 they find themselves surrounded by those who are, they feel out of place and they feel awkward. This is

00:33:31.960 where they can come, where there are men with aspirations and where we are talking about pushing and

00:33:38.160 driving and motivating each other. They are unapologetic about it. They know what they want

00:33:43.860 and they're trying to find a way to get there. So let's get into this third component vision.

00:33:50.520 All right, guys, when I'm talking about vision, I want to talk with you briefly about what it is that

00:33:56.100 we are trying to accomplish over the next little while. First and foremost, it's my objective to

00:34:04.540 continue to grow the movement and exposure through this podcast. This podcast has been a tremendous

00:34:11.940 resource for getting the word out. And the more that you share it and the more that you rate it

00:34:18.220 and review it and talk about it and have meetups about it, which some guys are doing, the more that

00:34:23.440 we're going to continue to grow this thing. I want to be a top 10 podcast, not in psychology or society

00:34:29.640 or business. I want to be a top 10 podcast in the world. I want this movement to be a global

00:34:36.100 powerhouse of masculinity. When anybody ever talks about what does it mean to be a man?

00:34:41.760 The first thing that comes up is order of man, that they know exactly where we stand and what

00:34:47.880 we're doing and how we're lifting up and inspiring men. And this is the first thing that comes to their

00:34:51.920 mind. So the podcast is going to be a huge component of that. We're going to continue to get great guests

00:34:56.500 on. I'm going to continue to enhance and improve and hone, uh, my interviewing skills and my ability

00:35:02.820 to communicate and articulate messages with you. I'm going to do those things here through this

00:35:07.160 podcast. I'm also going to start doing a lot more live podcast where I'm sitting down with,

00:35:12.060 with men face to face, shoulder to shoulder, and we're hashing out these difficult conversations

00:35:16.800 and these tough ideas. I also want to get some people in here that don't necessarily agree with

00:35:21.940 me a hundred percent. So we can have real conversations with people who can discuss

00:35:26.520 civilly the differences of opinion so that we can be more thoughtful in the way that we approach our

00:35:33.100 own lives and thoughtful about what we think about masculinity. Uh, so you're going to see that,

00:35:38.580 which then entails, uh, some YouTube videos as well. Like to do a little bit more video.

00:35:43.360 Uh, I see that as being a trend. It has been a trend. I see it continuing. So we'll get some video

00:35:48.160 involved there. Uh, we're going to get some more articles and these are going to be in-depth

00:35:52.380 articles on the site so that you can, uh, have more resources to of course, read and consume

00:35:58.580 and share and all of that stuff as well. Uh, the other thing is we're going to continue to enhance

00:36:04.080 and improve our offerings. And when I'm talking about offerings, I'm talking about our exclusive

00:36:08.840 brotherhood, the iron council. We've got 430 men there. Uh, my goal is to get that to a thousand

00:36:14.820 members. If we have a thousand members and we have all the systems in place and we're firing on all

00:36:20.120 cylinders. Uh, I feel like that's a pretty good place to be. So we've got our iron council. Uh,

00:36:26.080 we've got Patreon. I talked about that earlier. We've got the Facebook group. I think we've got

00:36:29.980 53 or so thousand men over there. I want to grow that thing to a hundred thousand. 0.97

00:36:34.900 So I've got big aspirations for what we're doing here. And the last thing I really wanted to talk

00:36:39.580 with you about when it comes to the vision and the things I want to accomplish is

00:36:42.700 I've always had this idea that men are better and it's not my idea. So let me just say that first

00:36:48.840 that men operate better impacts. We do, we operate better impacts. We, there, there's a lot of talk

00:36:55.880 about being the lone wolf. And while that all sounds sexy and great and everything else, and you got the

00:37:01.020 James Bonds and the, and the Jason Bournes of the world, the reality is, is that we operate better

00:37:07.900 impacts. We are evolved to operate impacts and we are more efficient when we do. And so we've got

00:37:13.840 some things that help with that, like the iron council, for example, but that's a digital band

00:37:17.580 of brothers and it has its merit and it has its value. But one of the things that I really want to

00:37:22.240 do is create local, if not regional chapters of order of man, these would be opportunities for you

00:37:29.640 to connect with men in your area to, as John Eldridge talked about finding a battle to fight and

00:37:35.880 adventure to live in a beauty to rescue, engaging in these types of activities so that you can

00:37:39.860 stand shoulder to shoulder, literally shoulder to shoulder and engage each other and challenge and

00:37:44.820 promote and push and prod and hold each other accountable and do all the things that men have

00:37:49.100 been doing for thousands of years. And we're just getting away from that through digital technology.

00:37:54.020 And the digital technology is great. You and I wouldn't be having this conversation right now.

00:37:57.620 If we didn't have this technology, it's a great way to introduce, but I think we can go deeper.

00:38:02.360 And it's my goal to help us go deeper through creating these local and regional chapters

00:38:08.500 of order of man. So we'll have chapter presidencies. We'll have members. We'll have,

00:38:14.480 I mean, you name it. And these, these presidents will be organizing meetups regionally and locally

00:38:21.080 organizing the activities. We'll have some forums available for conversation. So guys,

00:38:25.860 we've got some cool stuff. And one other thing I didn't write this down, but I started thinking about

00:38:29.880 this is not only do I want to help men, I want to help boys become men because I think we can start

00:38:39.640 it earlier. Now, granted, I had just told you that our audience member is between 25 and 45 years old.

00:38:45.480 Now this doesn't fall in line with somebody who's 15 years old, but I think there's a way to engage

00:38:50.340 men in the community and fathers of these boys to help give them the tools and the resources that they

00:38:55.040 need to lift their boys up. Cause if we can get these kids started earlier, if we can get these 0.98

00:38:59.320 boys started younger and get them on the right track and get them thinking the correct way,

00:39:03.900 not the way the school system or society would have them think about masculinity, but the correct

00:39:07.420 way, the way you as a father would have them think, I think we're all going to be better off.

00:39:12.300 So we've got our legacy event. We've got some other really cool things in store that I can't really

00:39:18.220 disclose right now. I would like to share it with you. I'm trying to think of a way to word it where

00:39:24.200 you could understand, but I can't disclose everything. We'll just say it's a system for

00:39:30.280 raising your boy and giving him the tools that he needs and the guidance and direction

00:39:36.960 and some accountability and moving through a system, moving through a process together

00:39:43.080 to work on these things together so that you can grow together. Cool stuff, guys. I've got some

00:39:48.960 really, really good stuff in store. We've got some incredible people on the team that are helping out.

00:39:53.800 I couldn't do without them. And again, I couldn't do without you. So I'm going to articulate this

00:39:59.600 more. Obviously I'm just reading this book. I'm just starting to flesh out these ideas, but I really

00:40:03.260 wanted to share with you again, the problems that I see in society and the problems that I see in men

00:40:08.660 individually. I wanted to talk about who this podcast is for and who this movement is for and

00:40:13.060 who's going to be listening to this podcast. And again, it's the guys who are unapologetic about

00:40:17.720 being masculine and unapologetic about wanting to achieve big things in their lives. And then

00:40:22.020 ultimately wanted to talk with you about the vision, which I just shared with you.

00:40:25.400 So that's a lot. That's a long Friday field notes. We're at like 45 or so minutes right now.

00:40:30.740 I usually go 20 or 30 minutes. So it went a little long. Maybe you had some downtime with the

00:40:35.380 Thanksgiving weekend. Maybe you're driving. Maybe you're just sitting around in a, in a Turkey coma. 0.77

00:40:39.980 I don't know what that looks like for you, but I hope this helps guys. I hope this gives you some

00:40:44.280 clarity and some insight into what it is we're doing. Of course, I wanted to say what I was

00:40:48.360 grateful for. I didn't want to overlook that specifically with regards to being at this

00:40:52.820 weekend, Thanksgiving. And, and again, just want to tell you, I appreciate you glad we're on this

00:40:57.320 journey together. If you have any questions, any questions about what we're doing and who this is

00:41:02.340 for and the vision and, or you see anything, you know, out there that is as counter to what we're

00:41:06.960 doing, I'd love to see those things. So just shoot me a message on Instagram at Ryan Mickler

00:41:11.140 on Twitter at order of man, shoot me an email, Ryan at order of man. I'm pretty responsive in all

00:41:16.960 those, those three areas. So let's connect. All right, guys, I'll let you get going. Have a great

00:41:21.840 Thanksgiving weekend. Spend some time with your family and the friends and, and doing the things

00:41:25.400 that you care about and love. And we'll catch you next week. And until then take action, become the

00:41:30.380 man you are meant to be. Thank you for listening to the order of man podcast. You're ready to take

00:41:36.280 charge of your life and be more of the man you were meant to be. We invite you to join the order

00:41:40.920 at order of man.com.

Order of Man - November 23, 2018

My Gratitude For You and Vision for Order of Man ｜ FRIDAY FIELD NOTES

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