Order of Man - Never Feel Guilty for Taking Care of Yourself ｜ FRIDAY FIELD NOTES

00:00:00.000 You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest, embrace your fears, and boldly chart

00:00:05.000 your own path. When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time, every time.

00:00:10.440 You are not easily deterred or defeated, rugged, resilient, strong. This is your life. This is who

00:00:17.240 you are. This is who you will become. At the end of the day, and after all is said and done,

00:00:22.800 you can call yourself a man. Gents, what's going on today? My name is Ryan Michler,

00:00:27.580 and I am the host and the founder of this podcast and the movement that is Order of Man. I want to

00:00:32.560 welcome you back. I want to welcome you here. If you're here for the first time, this is a show

00:00:36.680 about being a more capable man, giving you the tools and the guidance and the conversations

00:00:41.400 and resources, everything that you need to step up more fully as a husband, a father, a business

00:00:46.800 owner, a community leader, and of course, every other facet of life that you're showing up as.

00:00:51.140 I'm excited as I am recording this podcast for the first time in what will become my new

00:00:57.500 podcast studio, which is a room in our new home in Maine. It's a little, well, it's not

00:01:03.840 as, it's not what I have envisioned for myself just yet. We'll say that I'm sitting in a little

00:01:08.960 desk in the corner with some pink wallpaper and an old chair that I'm sitting on. So it's

00:01:14.880 not ideal, but I'm excited to be in this room and I'm excited to show you the progress as

00:01:19.700 we continue to build out this podcast studio. And I say studio because part of this room

00:01:24.940 is going to be reserved for doing video. We're going to be doing a lot more video podcasts.

00:01:30.480 So be on the lookout for that, but we've got some cool things in the works and we're just

00:01:35.140 getting started. So although it isn't perfect, it isn't exactly what I want it to be. I'm sitting

00:01:40.060 here smiling because I see the potential of this room and what it ultimately will become.

00:01:46.100 Ultimately it's, it's, I want to serve you again. I want to give you the tools and everything

00:01:49.900 that you need to step up more fully in your life. And I know that's what most men want.

00:01:55.100 I know most men have aspirational goals and things they want to accomplish. And I want

00:01:59.520 to give you the conversations that will help you do just that. We're doing that here in

00:02:03.040 the Friday field notes, but we also have an interview show where I've interviewed some

00:02:07.220 incredible men. The lineup is amazing. Guys like Jocko Willink, David Goggins, Grant Cardone,

00:02:13.700 Andy Frisilla, Tim Kennedy, Dakota Meyer, Pete Roberts. The list is almost endless of

00:02:19.820 the amount of men that we've had on the podcast that have just shared some valuable, valuable

00:02:24.200 advice for us. I'm going to get into this conversation here pretty quickly because it is

00:02:29.740 relevant. I've had a lot of guys ask me about this and that's how you overcome guilt for working

00:02:34.460 on yourself. We're going to get to that in a minute. But I did want to mention to you

00:02:38.140 that we've got our main event tentatively scheduled for August 9th through 11th. So that's a couple

00:02:45.480 of months away. Again, it's the main event and it's going to be here on our property. We're going

00:02:50.520 to have some speakers come in teaching some, some tools and strategies and tactics regarding how to

00:02:56.340 be a more capable man. I've got some activities planned. We've got some things planned with origin,

00:03:00.560 including potentially some jujitsu and a tour of their factory. It's going to be an incredible,

00:03:06.820 incredible event. I want you there. So here's what I need you to do. I need you to pencil in,

00:03:11.860 in your calendar, August 9th through 11th, block that weekend off, figure out a way to get up here.

00:03:18.740 I'm going to have more details early next week. So be on the lookout for that, where you can register.

00:03:25.820 It's going to be very limited initially, but it's going to be a cool event and it's going to be

00:03:31.260 instrumental in helping give you the tools that you need to step up. Like I talked about before.

00:03:35.620 So again, August 9th through the 11th, 2019 pencil it in. I'll get you some details shortly.

00:03:41.620 That's it. That's all I've got by way of announcements. Let's get into the conversation,

00:03:45.220 the thoughts that I had. And that's what this Friday field notes is about. It's about me

00:03:48.740 sharing some thoughts and ideas and things that I've been thinking of from throughout the week.

00:03:52.580 And one of the reoccurring topics or conversations that gets brought up in our Facebook group and the

00:03:59.100 iron council, which is our brotherhood on Instagram. I'm very active over there is guys who feel

00:04:05.080 guilty for taking care of themselves. And I understand why they'd feel guilty because

00:04:10.040 ultimately when you're taking care of yourself, you may be, I don't want to say neglecting,

00:04:14.780 but you may have to sacrifice your time with your family or your business or other ventures that you

00:04:21.500 may have going on in order to carve out the time and the energy to take care of yourself.

00:04:27.480 So I definitely feel and understand why you would feel guilty about that. Especially when we as men

00:04:36.260 have so many obligations and so many people and activities and interests and things pulling on us

00:04:42.140 on a daily basis that a lot of times we feel like, man, I can't take time to go take care of myself

00:04:48.060 because I have these other obligations. But I'm just telling you right now, and I've talked about this

00:04:52.000 at length over the past four years, that if you as a man don't figure out a way to take care of

00:04:57.580 yourself, you're going to burn everything to the ground. I say that from experience. You're going

00:05:03.000 to burn your relationship to the ground. Your health is going to go to complete shit. The relationships 1.00

00:05:08.180 with your kids are going to be non-existent. Your career is not going to excel. Nothing is going to

00:05:14.060 happen if you can't learn to take care of yourself. Now I will say you might have some short-term gains

00:05:20.920 because you're investing a lot of time and energy and attention and focus into something that you

00:05:26.720 want to be successful, like your career, but it's going to come crashing to the ground in a very short

00:05:32.440 period of time. If you can't sustain the effort because you're not taking care of yourself,

00:05:37.400 it's easy to be good for a week. It's easy to be good for a month. It's potentially even easy to be

00:05:42.920 good for a year, but the truly successful, the perpetually successful, find a way to be successful

00:05:49.400 every single day, day in and day out for the rest of their lives. And if you want to be successful

00:05:59.360 for the rest of your life, then you're going to need to carve out time pursuing from, I should say

00:06:05.880 from pursuing these things that are important to you, family, relationships, business, et cetera,

00:06:10.700 et cetera, health to focus solely on you to be selfish in a way so that you can come back to these

00:06:18.080 other ventures and these other relationships and obligations more rejuvenated, recharged, focused,

00:06:25.380 clear, and energized to be that much more effective. It's kind of that ax analogy. If I have four hours

00:06:32.040 to chop down a tree, I'm going to spend the first three sharpening the blade. That's exactly what I'm

00:06:37.360 talking about here. I'm talking about sharpening your blade through reading, through visualization,

00:06:43.420 through meditation, through exercise, through hobbies that can be looked at and viewed as selfish

00:06:49.000 and in a way they are. And that's completely okay. Society has told us it's not okay to be selfish.

00:06:54.220 It is okay to be selfish within reason so that you can come back a more capable man to accomplish the

00:07:01.660 other things that you have obligations for. Like I had mentioned a minute ago. So now that you know

00:07:07.100 that, and most of you do, whether you're doing it or not is a completely different story, but most of you

00:07:11.540 know that you should be taking care of yourself. Most of you know that, or at least feel when you're

00:07:18.000 not fully taking care of yourself because you're on edge, you're on easy, you lose your, your patience

00:07:22.800 quickly. You might let your temper get the better of you. These are all indicators that you're not

00:07:27.520 taking care of your own mind and your own body and your own soul. And you're focusing all that

00:07:32.540 attention elsewhere. Everybody knows that whether you're doing it or not is a completely different

00:07:37.220 story. And I've thought a lot about this. Like, why is that the case? We know we should be doing

00:07:42.600 it. And yet we don't. It's a lot of reasons. Sometimes it's just that we're busy. And if that's

00:07:47.900 the case, you've got to figure out a way to carve out time. I don't know how else to say it. You've

00:07:51.980 got to figure out a way to carve out time to take care of yourself. Maybe some things need to be

00:07:56.560 sacrificed so you can. So busyness is one reason people come up with. Another reason is this,

00:08:03.920 that they feel so bad or they feel so guilty that they aren't going to engage in that. I get it.

00:08:10.880 I've, I've felt that way before I've been guilty of, or felt guilty for going to a hobby or going to

00:08:19.720 spend time with friends or going into the gym when I can be doing a thousand other things. And I've

00:08:24.380 thought a lot about how does one overcome that guilt? Because we know it's important, right? We know

00:08:29.600 we need to do it. And yet that feeling of guilt is so difficult at times that we just won't go do it

00:08:35.280 because we're guilty. And then, as I said earlier, we end up burning everything to the ground.

00:08:39.660 So what I want to share with you today is some key points, some key indicators that you can implement

00:08:44.140 in your life starting right now. And that's what I want you to do. If you're one of those guys who

00:08:48.340 knows, who knows I need to take care of myself. And yet you don't because of the feeling that you have

00:08:54.960 when you do, these are the four things that you need to implement in your life starting right now.

00:09:00.620 And if you do, you might still experience some of that guilt, but this is going to help you overcome

00:09:05.220 that. This is going to help you feel better. This is going to help you have the conversations you need

00:09:10.540 to have with other individuals about taking care of yourself. So you're not leaving them hanging,

00:09:15.800 right? We still have obligations. So we need to shore up those obligations so that we can

00:09:20.580 take care of ourselves effectively. All right, so let's break this down. This one is going to

00:09:24.880 be fairly short because I don't need to drone on and on and on about this, but you'll get the point.

00:09:29.280 And what I want you to do is you implement these four strategies is I want you to return and report

00:09:34.900 back to me how they're working, what you're doing. The best places for that are on Instagram

00:09:39.360 at Ryan Michler. M-I-C-H-L-E-R is how you spell my last name or in our Facebook group. It's

00:09:45.620 facebook.com slash groups slash order of man. Let me know how you're using these four keys,

00:09:52.120 how they're working because other men need to know. They need to hear how it's working for you 0.98

00:09:57.700 so they can go implement this stuff in their life. And I would also ask that you share this podcast.

00:10:01.980 If you know somebody that needs to take care of themselves, you have a brother, for example,

00:10:05.920 who's burning out with his family, but he won't go do things with his boys because he can't take

00:10:10.900 care of himself or, or it doesn't feel like he has the time or can't get over the feeling of,

00:10:15.280 of, of overwhelm and guilt when he does share this episode with him, just share it with him.

00:10:20.020 Let him listen. Hopefully it'll help and serve him as well. All right. So let's get into this

00:10:23.580 number one. And I think this answer is one of the best answers for just about every problem

00:10:31.740 that you have out there, especially when it comes to relationships with other individuals.

00:10:35.780 It's communication. All right. It's communication guys. You have to communicate with the people who

00:10:42.900 will be affected and impacted by the decisions that you're going to be making. So if you're going to

00:10:48.320 join a bowling club or you're going to go take up archery, or you're going to start working out

00:10:52.860 every day, or you're going to get into jujitsu and you're going to be gone two to three nights a week,

00:10:56.580 then you need to communicate this stuff. And it's not something where you go to your wife,

00:11:01.640 for example, and you say, well, I'm doing this regardless and just deal with it. No communicate

00:11:06.640 effectively what you want to do, why you want to do it, how it will serve her and the people that

00:11:14.000 you're trying to serve in your life and open your mouth and use your words and share. This is what

00:11:20.940 happens with so many guys is they bottle themselves up. They never learned how to communicate effectively

00:11:27.160 because even if they had a dad around, dad didn't really say much to them and they don't know how to

00:11:32.700 communicate. It's a skill that you have to learn and you have to develop. I found in my life that the

00:11:37.360 more that I open up with my wife, the more that I open up with my kids and the people here that I'm

00:11:41.880 trying to serve, the better off I am, the better off they are. And everybody's on the same page.

00:11:46.800 If you think about a team, for example, a football team, let's say, and you get into a play and it's

00:11:53.500 first and 10, you get into a huddle and the quarterback says, all right, guys, we're just

00:11:59.380 going to try to score right here. Ready, break. Everybody goes up to the line and then does whatever

00:12:04.700 the hell they think they're going to do or want to do. How effective is that going to be? Well,

00:12:08.580 obviously it's laughable. It's not going to be effective at all. And yet we do the same thing

00:12:13.120 when we're leading our families. We don't open our mouths. We don't share what's on our mind.

00:12:17.840 We don't share our thoughts and concerns and ideas and how things are going and how they're not going.

00:12:21.640 We don't share any of that. And then we get upset that our kids aren't doing their chores or our wife

00:12:29.360 doesn't appreciate us or she can't get on board with us going to take care of ourselves. Well, 0.77

00:12:34.280 that's your fault, man. That's your fault. You haven't opened your mouth. You haven't used your

00:12:39.940 words and you haven't communicated effectively what you're trying to do and why you're trying to

00:12:43.860 do it. So what I would encourage you to do is to practice communication and to set up one thing that

00:12:51.100 we do is a family meeting every single morning, every single morning, day in and day out. We have a

00:12:58.420 family meeting and these meetings last anywhere from five to 10 minutes. They're not long. They're not

00:13:03.520 drawn out. They're not boring. We've got kids. We've got a three-year-old kid. He's not going to

00:13:08.020 sit there for 40 minutes while we have a family meeting about who knows what. It's a very short,

00:13:12.400 effective meeting. Here's what we got going on. Here's what I'm going to be doing today on what

00:13:16.740 are you going to be doing today? Here's what the kids have going on. They have this sport and this

00:13:20.200 activity and this interest. Today, my wife said they're going to some zoo experience or something

00:13:25.400 like that. Well, that's good for me to know. And I told her, okay, well, I'm going to be doing X, Y,

00:13:28.780 and Z. So we fill in those dots for each other. We communicate the standard. We communicate what

00:13:33.360 we're doing. And then there's no guesswork that way when I'm at the gym or I'm shooting my bow or

00:13:38.380 I'm at jujitsu, I don't feel guilty or I don't feel like I've left anybody on the line. Guys,

00:13:43.960 open your mouths, please carve it out, schedule it. If you have to and communicate what's going on in

00:13:51.820 your life, why you need the time, what you want to be doing, and then solicit her communication and

00:13:57.680 feedback as well. That's going to eliminate a lot of the, uh, a lot of the guilt from taking care of

00:14:02.920 yourself. That's number one. Number two, establish boundaries. You have to establish boundaries and

00:14:08.340 you need to communicate them. Like I said, in number one, but you've got to have some sort of

00:14:12.620 boundaries in your life. Like for example, a boundary, a physical boundary right now is my

00:14:17.740 office door. It's a little different because we're getting set up here in Maine, but at home,

00:14:21.260 uh, before we moved out here at our home in Utah, when I was in the office and the door was closed,

00:14:26.560 my kids knew that that time was for me, that I'm in my office, I'm working, I I'm doing what I need

00:14:32.800 to be doing. Unless there's an emergency now is not the time to interrupt or to tell me about your

00:14:38.940 day or any of that stuff. Unless it's an emergency, that's a boundary. That's a physical boundary.

00:14:43.820 They have that door. I communicated that boundary, but there also needs to be some boundaries that you

00:14:49.040 set up for yourself. Like this day at this time is carved out and is reserved for me. Please do not

00:14:55.180 step over these boundaries, establish them, communicate them, and then uphold them.

00:15:00.100 All right. Wednesday night at six o'clock, I'm going to be out with the guys. I'm in a bowling

00:15:04.180 league. I don't even know if guys do bowling leagues anymore, but I'm just using that as an

00:15:07.980 example. Now you communicate that you uphold it and you keep that, that boundary in place.

00:15:15.140 I would also say along the same lines of boundaries is that you have scheduled times that eliminates a lot

00:15:20.800 of the confusion because if you're just random about when you're taking care of yourself,

00:15:24.500 like some days you're at the gym at 6am and the next day you're at two, two 30 in the afternoon,

00:15:29.000 then it's going to be really hard for people to understand what your boundaries are and then to

00:15:32.940 abide by them. So have scheduled things in place. I'm at the gym at five 30 to seven o'clock

00:15:41.100 every single morning, Monday through Friday. That's my time. Good. Communicate that. She knows it.

00:15:47.660 The kids know it. Everybody knows it. You've talked about why that's important to you. It's scheduled.

00:15:52.340 It's maintained. You don't miss days. Cause if you miss days, they're going to step over boundaries

00:15:57.820 because you can't even uphold your own boundaries and keep those things in place. And when those

00:16:03.120 lines try to get breached and they will not maliciously, but people will try to breach your

00:16:08.280 boundary lines. You need to uphold those things ruthlessly, not like an asshole, but ruthlessly 0.98

00:16:14.440 and tactfully uphold those boundaries. So people know that you're serious. If this is the first time 0.98

00:16:19.900 you're setting up time to take care of yourself, people are going to test them. They're going to

00:16:24.620 test. They're going to test for little flaws and weaknesses and the boundaries that you've

00:16:28.320 established. Don't let those things be tested. You don't need to be a jerk about it, but you do

00:16:33.020 need to be ruthlessly committed to keeping those boundaries. And I'll tell you what, if you do that, 0.99

00:16:38.140 if you uphold those boundaries every time it gets easier because the expectation is,

00:16:44.660 well, dad, dad upholds this boundary. Like I can't even test it because every time I try to do it,

00:16:50.420 like he holds the line. But if you waffle on this stuff and you, and you, and you're wishwashy

00:16:56.160 about your boundaries, people are going to continue to do it and take advantage of your schedule and

00:17:01.600 your time. And it's going to become increasingly difficult to take care of yourself. So be convicted

00:17:08.240 in what your boundaries are, be in integrity with what they are, be disciplined about fulfilling

00:17:14.820 those own boundaries and maintaining those and placing high priority for yourself. And other

00:17:19.500 people will begin to see that it's something that's important to you and they will abide by those

00:17:23.900 boundaries more effectively. That's number two. So number one, communication. Number two, boundaries.

00:17:28.800 Number three, if you don't want to feel guilty about taking care of yourself, then you probably

00:17:34.800 ought to encourage the other people in your life to take care of themselves. I used to be this way.

00:17:40.440 I used to want to take care of myself. I'd want to go out with the boys and I'd want to hang out and

00:17:43.980 I want to do my thing and engage in my activities and hobbies. And then what I would do is when my

00:17:48.840 wife wanted to do the same thing, whether it was with her mom or sister or her girlfriends,

00:17:52.800 or she just wanted to go to the spa or whatever it was, I would make her feel guilty about doing that.

00:17:59.160 I would, I would make her feel bad about wanting to take care of herself. And then I felt like I had

00:18:06.300 the right to go take care of myself when I was making her feel guilty about taking her care of

00:18:11.080 herself. No, this is a two-way street, especially obviously if you're in any sort of relationship

00:18:16.960 is you've got to give and take. And that's where the sacrifice comes in. We've got four kids. They're

00:18:22.160 a handful, but you know what? When my wife wants to go to the spa or she wants to go out with a friend, 0.99

00:18:26.160 the other night she took my daughter to a, uh, to a baby shower, you know, the three boys hung out

00:18:32.320 with me and that wasn't a time to take care of myself. That was a time to be engaged with my boys

00:18:36.500 and hang out and spend time with them. And that requires sacrifice. And I know that's good for me.

00:18:41.760 So obviously I know when my wife takes care of herself, it's good for her as well. So what I would

00:18:47.100 encourage you to do is to help her take care of herself, carve out time, encourage her to find

00:18:53.420 interests and hobbies and activities and people that she can engage with. And you know what?

00:18:58.000 That actually serves you well too, because when she goes out and she takes care of herself, 0.94

00:19:02.640 she comes back into the relationship, rejuvenated, recharged, ready to engage as, as the wife that,

00:19:09.840 that you, frankly, that you, that you want her to be and that she wants to be, but you've got to

00:19:15.200 encourage that. You've got to foster that you're the leader of the home, which means that you've got to

00:19:20.580 lead and encourage her to do that. I talked to too many guys who want their wives to go out and do 1.00

00:19:27.280 something, but their wives won't do it. And then they just kind of give it up. It's like, no, let her 1.00

00:19:32.640 go take care of herself, sacrifice, take care of the kids, watch the kids, be a little bit more 0.90

00:19:37.300 efficient and work. Maybe you've got to give up some of your time in order for her to have some time 1.00

00:19:42.240 for herself. That's important too. But again, it works in the context of everything that we're

00:19:47.340 talking about. It's the sacrifice. It's the boundaries for yourself, which you're going to

00:19:52.580 have to establish those together. It's communicating that information effectively. Hey, this will work

00:19:58.020 for me. This won't work for me. Opening your mouth, sharing your thoughts and heaven forbid,

00:20:02.700 share your feelings about things as well. These are all critical components of not feeling guilty.

00:20:08.580 Look, I know if my wife goes out on Tuesday night, then when I'm out on Wednesday night, I don't feel

00:20:12.960 guilty. I'm like, she went out, she had her time. This is my time. I feel less guilty about doing

00:20:17.500 it. I can engage fully in whatever that activity is. And then I come back into the relationship

00:20:21.340 and we're that much better off. I know it's a little counterintuitive to think that

00:20:25.480 when you go do your own thing, you're at your relationship actually begins to thrive,

00:20:30.280 but that's exactly how it works. It's exactly how it works. It's like the absence makes the heart

00:20:35.760 grow fonder type thing. You go out and do your thing, rejuvenate, recharge, come back. I promise

00:20:41.260 you your relationship is going to be better. The last point that I wanted to make, and this

00:20:45.320 actually falls in line with, with the first point communication, but this is very, very important

00:20:49.500 that I share this. You have to connect the dots. You have to connect the dots. What I mean is that

00:20:57.380 if you make this all about you, then she's probably going to try to make you feel guilty about it. 0.99

00:21:05.240 And you're going to accept that. And you're going to start feeling guilty about it. And then you're not

00:21:09.720 going to do it. I know on the other hand, that when I go out, yes, it is for me, but ultimately

00:21:15.500 it helps me be a more effective, capable man. So I have to connect those dots, especially when

00:21:24.740 you're getting started with taking care of yourself. I would have to go to my wife and say, 1.00

00:21:28.840 Hey, hon, I'm going to jujitsu tonight. It's Tuesday night. It's six o'clock. I'm going to go.

00:21:33.720 So this is for me. It helps me. It helps me relax. It helps me blow off some energy and steam. It

00:21:40.560 helps me to be more patient. And all of this is good because it helps me have the control that I

00:21:45.940 need as, as a father to our kids. It helps me to have patience when, you know, things aren't going

00:21:52.640 exactly right in the house. It helps me engage and be energized in order to serve you and to help you

00:21:59.380 and assist you in leading this family with you. These are all good things for me. And then when

00:22:05.360 you come back after going to the gym or doing whatever it is you're doing, then you, you be

00:22:10.380 that kind of man. You show up more fully as a father, as a husband, as a business owner, as a

00:22:16.400 community. You, you show up more fully and then you show them, Hey, you know what? I'm really feeling

00:22:21.940 better. I think it has to do with me working out every day for the last two weeks. Have you noticed

00:22:26.440 a difference again, communication? And she of course is going to say, yes, I have noticed

00:22:31.340 a difference. Yeah. I really think it's because I've been exercising and taking care of myself

00:22:35.060 one hour a day. Now you enlist her in the fight because she sees that this is not something

00:22:40.000 that's at odds with the relationship. This is actually enhancing the relationship. And

00:22:44.280 before long, what's going to end up happening is she's going to encourage you to go take care

00:22:48.860 of yourself. How would that be? Instead of feeling bad about taking care of yourself, you actually

00:22:54.640 have a partner who encourages you to go out and to hang out with the boys, a partner who

00:22:59.900 says, Hey, why don't you go to the gym? Or why don't you go on that weekend hunting trip

00:23:04.120 that you wanted to go on? Guys, I'm there. I'm to that point now where if I don't do these

00:23:09.260 things, my wife says, go do that stuff because she recognizes how powerful it is. And because

00:23:13.700 I've adopted these four keys in my life and I no longer feel guilty about taking care of

00:23:19.460 myself. Now there's a line, there's a line where you take taking care of yourself too

00:23:25.380 far. And I can't tell you what that is, but ultimately I think it comes back down to whether

00:23:30.820 or not you're being effective is taking care of yourself, helping you be a more capable man

00:23:35.880 or as an escape mechanism. Has it gone too far? I'll let you decide that for yourself because

00:23:41.560 ultimately it's your life. But I think more often than not, more men face the challenge of

00:23:49.160 not taking care of themselves enough, then taking care of themselves too much. So I hope

00:23:54.000 this helps. All right. The four keys again, communication. Number one, open your mouth,

00:23:58.200 share your words. Number two, establish boundaries for yourself and also for your partner. Number

00:24:03.640 three, sacrifice. Let her know that you encourage her to go out and take care of herself as well.

00:24:09.280 Handle the business while she's out doing her thing so that she can feel good about it. And

00:24:13.000 then you can feel good while you're doing yours. And then number four, connect the dots, show

00:24:17.460 the people in your life who are impacted by the decisions you're making, why the decision to go

00:24:22.760 on the hunt or the decision to take an hour and go exercise or whatever, show them why that's in

00:24:31.620 their best interest. Tell them and show them that's connecting the dots. So as you do these things and

00:24:37.640 you can, by the way, you can implement these things right now, right now. If you're one of those

00:24:41.240 guys who feels guilty about taking care of yourself, then go implement these things right now.

00:24:45.740 Call your wife, communicate with her. When you get home tonight, establish some boundaries,

00:24:50.700 let her know what you're going to be doing. Encourage her to go do things, connect the dots,

00:24:54.260 do all the things that we talked about today. All right. In parting, I'll remind you again,

00:24:58.760 August 9th through 11th, pencil that into your calendar. I'm going to have some details over the

00:25:02.780 next several days, early next week at the latest. So get that taken care of. That's it. That's really

00:25:08.980 all I have by way of announcements. I want to have guys there at that event. We're going to have

00:25:12.740 some guest speakers, some, some incredible men have already committed to coming out.

00:25:16.900 And we're going to have some, some great information shared. We're going to have some

00:25:20.760 camaraderie. This isn't going to be one of those like lectures at you all day event type things.

00:25:25.960 I can't stand those. I don't want to sit in hotel conference room and be yapped at for three to four

00:25:31.840 hours or two days. I don't want that. I can't stand that. I'm imagining you can't stand that. So

00:25:36.800 this is going to be very active. It's going to be very involved. We're going to have some

00:25:40.460 physicality, some challenges and competition. We might be doing, doing a little bit of labor,

00:25:45.800 if you will. There's a lot of cool stuff that we're going to, we're going to do in this thing.

00:25:49.360 So August 9th through 11th pencil it in. All right, guys, that's all I've got. We'll hit you

00:25:55.260 back next week for our interview show. Make sure you subscribe, make sure you connect with me on

00:26:01.200 Instagram at Ryan Mickler. Also check out our brotherhood, the iron council. This is one way

00:26:06.100 you can take care of yourself. It's at order of man.com slash iron council. And by the way,

00:26:12.120 I told you I'm sitting in my, uh, my podcast office studio. I'm using air quotes here because

00:26:16.900 it's not quite that right now. Uh, if you want to see what it looks like, connect with me over on

00:26:21.320 Instagram again at Ryan Mickler. I just put a picture up of what this looks like. And I suggested

00:26:27.780 that it's the love child of Ernest Hemingway and Martha Stewart's office. That's the best

00:26:34.140 description I can give it. Anyways, you can check it out over there. All right, guys,

00:26:37.220 I'll let you get going. Thanks for being in the battle to reclaim and restore masculinity with me.

00:26:41.300 As always, I tell you, I'm inspired by what you're doing. I'm uplifted and edified by what

00:26:45.180 you're doing. And I'm a better man because you're part of this movement. All right, guys,

00:26:48.900 let's get going until next week. Go out there, take action, become the man you are meant to be.

00:26:53.860 Thank you for listening to the order of man podcast. You're ready to take charge of your life

00:26:58.420 and be more of the man you were meant to be. We invite you to join the order at order of man.com.

Order of Man - June 14, 2019

Never Feel Guilty for Taking Care of Yourself ｜ FRIDAY FIELD NOTES

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