Order of Man - NICK KOUMALATSOS ｜ Become a Warrior in the Garden

00:00:00.000 I think it's safe to assume that if you're listening to this podcast, you're a man who

00:00:03.720 is interested in becoming a more capable man. Unfortunately, the men who have come before us

00:00:09.160 have in a lot of ways made it possible for us not to have to step up in the way that we as men ought

00:00:15.460 to, as what my guest today would call a savage servant. Today, I'm joined by Nick Kumalatsos,

00:00:21.740 a former member of Marine Reconnaissance to talk about what it means to be a savage servant.

00:00:26.180 We also discuss physical fitness as the foundation of what it means to be a man,

00:00:31.160 why we must fabricate struggle, positive programming, and personal growth through humility.

00:00:37.420 You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest. Embrace your fears and boldly charge

00:00:42.240 your own path. When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time. Every time you are not

00:00:48.020 easily deterred or defeated, rugged, resilient, strong. This is your life. This is who you are.

00:00:54.780 This is who you will become at the end of the day. And after all is said and done,

00:00:59.800 you can call yourself a man. Gentlemen, what is going on today? My name is Ryan

00:01:04.400 Mickler. I'm the host and the founder of the Order of Man podcast and movement. Welcome here today.

00:01:09.620 This is a big week for us because we open up our exclusive brotherhood, the Iron Council in

00:01:14.720 two days on Thursday, the 15th. And this is the last enrollment in our exclusive brotherhood for

00:01:21.220 the year 2022. So excited for those of you who are going to be joining us.

00:01:25.700 If you're interested in what we're doing, head to order a man.com slash iron council. You can watch a

00:01:30.820 very quick video of what we're about and how we're serving men and how we're calling each other to step

00:01:35.880 up and lead in the absence of masculine leadership in society today. And it seems to be getting

00:01:42.740 increasingly worse. I'm doing my best here guys. And I know you are as well. And I'm grateful for you.

00:01:47.820 I'm glad you're here. I'm glad you're tuning in. And most importantly, I'm glad that you're doing

00:01:52.120 the work of men because we need to absolutely reverse the tide, the trend that we see, which is 0.98

00:02:00.000 to emasculate men, to downplay our role in society and to undermine us at every turn. So we do that

00:02:06.640 primarily through this podcast. And of course, what I just mentioned a minute ago, our exclusive

00:02:11.320 brotherhood, the iron council, uh, without further delay guys, I want to introduce you to my guest.

00:02:17.760 His name is Nick Kuma Latzos. He is a former Marine recon author, public speaker, and serial

00:02:24.860 entrepreneur. Now guys, I've been following Nick for years and I was stoked that we're finally able

00:02:30.220 to have this conversation as he's someone who is really making the most out of his life through

00:02:35.280 his family and fatherhood, his prior military service businesses that he runs, uh, charitable

00:02:41.060 organizations that he belongs to and is part of, and has started. He's also the author of the

00:02:46.440 excommunicated warrior and several fitness training books for combat readiness. And also he's got a new

00:02:54.340 30 day challenge starting soon called a gogi training. So you'll want to look at that as well.

00:02:59.060 Without further ado, here is the conversation. I hope you guys enjoy.

00:03:02.580 Nick, what's up, man? This has been a long time coming. So I'm finally, uh, I'm glad we finally

00:03:08.840 are able to make it work, man. I've been, I've been such a fan for so long. I'm like,

00:03:13.520 I got to get on that one day. It's crazy. Cause we're bouncing around in the same circles.

00:03:18.220 I know, you know, Pete Roberts up here is a good friend of mine with origin. Uh, obviously you hosted

00:03:23.960 a squire program with Bedros and Ray and the team not too long ago, right? No. Uh, it was,

00:03:32.580 November 5th. Okay. Yeah. So about a month ago, what an amazing, what an amazing thing, man.

00:03:38.920 Right? Yeah, it really is. It really is. It's so, it's so needed. You and your son went through

00:03:44.740 before, right? We did. I've, I've been to two of them. I went, initially I went to one of them

00:03:50.920 to speak at the event and thought it was awesome. So I took my oldest son out there

00:03:57.620 six months later and him and I did the program. And then Bedros and I had been friends for a while.

00:04:04.580 So he had seen what we've been doing up here in Maine with the barn and the property.

00:04:08.580 And he's like, Hey man, we want to do a program somewhere else. So he brought his entire team and

00:04:13.960 we brought 20 dads up here and did, did the program here, the squire program here at our place,

00:04:18.940 which was really cool. Yeah. I think out of a day of the squire program, I probably cried

00:04:24.140 five times. Well, I just, and I wasn't even participating. I was just watching the things

00:04:28.660 happen and I got emotional and probably about five times. Uh, how old you have a son, one son,

00:04:33.600 right? I have one son. He's two. Yeah. I was gonna say he's, he's young, so he's not quite there yet.

00:04:39.920 Maybe, maybe next year when he's three, he can go through it. He looks more like,

00:04:43.680 he looks like he's from your family, right? What do you mean? How so like, yeah, he's completely

00:04:51.160 red headed. You got clear skin. That's funny, man. It's, it's pretty cool. And you know, what is

00:04:59.100 I love my daughter. I have three sons and a daughter. Um, of course I love my daughter.

00:05:05.200 It's just interesting how different girls are from boys. Cause you have girls too. Don't you?

00:05:09.460 I did. I have two older girls. I got about to be a 21 year old and a 16 year old.

00:05:14.180 Oh wow. And I was, yeah. And I was all into the girl dad thing. Like I'm like, I actually wanted

00:05:21.400 another girl. This is probably a good, a good thing to talk about on the podcast. I actually

00:05:25.620 wanted another girl. I didn't really want a son because of my upbringing and you know what I mean?

00:05:31.460 Some of the things that I had, I personally dealt with and I just didn't want to repeat that process.

00:05:36.740 And so when I found out we did IVF, um, when I found out that I was having a son

00:05:44.180 legitimately had, this is almost three years ago, had a straight panic attack,

00:05:51.360 which is not what my wife, not the reaction. My wife wanted to, wanted to see me have. 0.51

00:05:58.940 Right. I'm sure. Yeah. But I, I was really, I was really upset man. Cause I did not want to

00:06:04.920 have a son and, um, you know, and through talking to some good friends and some mentors,

00:06:08.980 you know, that they were like, listen, you're not your father. You're not your former, your stepdad.

00:06:15.180 You're not like, you don't have to repeat. You're a completely different man with a different set of

00:06:19.740 values and different set of morals and a work ethic and everything. Like your experience is not going to

00:06:25.100 be, his experience is not going to be your experience. Right. And I had to like go, Oh yeah,

00:06:32.300 no shit. That's, that's the way that it is. I can make it my own. And, um, but I had to get past

00:06:38.960 that initially because I really, man, I was just really, you know, we don't have to make the

00:06:44.640 mistakes of our parents. You know what I mean? We can change things. Why did you feel that way?

00:06:48.940 Cause you'd, you'd already had daughters, uh, that, that you're almost done raising at this point.

00:06:53.340 And why didn't you think that the same way you fathered them would translate over to your son?

00:06:59.520 I, I, cause I felt like, you know, you know, that is, I think boy, boys are different. You love your

00:07:06.340 daughters and you prepare them in certain ways. Um, but you know, you have to prepare men. I think,

00:07:15.500 I think the squire program does it set, does the best says it best. You, you know, mothers turn babies 1.00

00:07:22.920 into boys, fathers turn boys into men. And that's a lot of responsibility. And because of my own

00:07:32.000 background and some negativity that I, that I grew up with and kind of having to navigate and become

00:07:36.920 the man that I am today, kind of on my own and through, you know, almost like guys like yourself,

00:07:42.280 you know, and, uh, becoming mentors and, you know, learning, learning different things of what a

00:07:48.960 real, real man is, what's true masculinity is. And, um, so there was a lot of, there was a lot of

00:07:55.020 anxiety there of, of messing that up and not being the person that you need to be. And, but,

00:08:02.320 but I was contributing it to my own past. I had nothing to do with what was going on now or who I was

00:08:09.020 today. Right. I was the, I was coming at it from, Oh, I'm just going to repeat the sense of the past

00:08:16.080 because that's what happened to me, you know? And that's not the case, obviously.

00:08:23.660 What were some of the things that you dealt with when you were, when you were growing up,

00:08:27.640 what were some of the challenges that you personally struggled with that you thought

00:08:30.280 you'd pass down? I, well, I mean, not that I would, but I just didn't want to have that same

00:08:35.240 experience. I mean, I had abusive stepfather. Um, my father was kind of in and out of the

00:08:40.960 picture. Um, so it was just me and my brother and my mom, and then with an abusive stepfather

00:08:47.680 who was physically abusive to me and then emotionally abusive to my brother. And that was, that was my

00:08:53.340 life until 11 when a very serious, um, physical altercation happened and my mom found out that

00:09:01.160 it happened. And then that was the end of that. Um, but nonetheless, that was my experience.

00:09:08.820 And then, you know, I started getting into the trouble. And by the time I was 13, I had two,

00:09:12.880 I had two, I was convicted of two felonies. Um, had to go to juvie, did the whole bootcamp thing.

00:09:20.640 Um, it was on probation for two years. So there's a lot, you know what I mean? And that's,

00:09:28.760 and you talk about that a lot. You know, you look at us, you look at a kid, you look at a man and

00:09:32.360 he does something and you go, the chances of him having a positive male role model or a positive

00:09:39.480 father in his life is probably zero. Right. Yeah. Like I was that kid. So, and then I, and then I

00:09:49.160 read or saw or heard, maybe you shared something about it that when you decided to join the Marine

00:09:54.280 Corps, it sounds like you had a difficult time, even being able to join because of your past record,

00:10:01.060 right? It took me almost two years, Ryan. Really? Yeah. It took me almost two years.

00:10:07.800 And, uh, it was funny. I mean, I can still see it today. Michael Klein, who's retired. He lives up

00:10:13.260 the street and he goes, uh, he comes out at the back and you remember the whole deal. Like they go run

00:10:19.280 your paperwork in the back and he comes out with papers and he's shaking his head. He's like,

00:10:24.140 son, you are never joining the military at all. Yeah. He's like, you're, you know, this time I'm

00:10:30.180 like 16 or 17 or something like that. And, uh, I think I just turned 17 cause I was like ready to

00:10:35.720 go. I'd already living on my own, had a job making good money. And I was like, okay, this is what I'm

00:10:40.640 going to do. I wasn't even in, I wasn't even in school anymore. Um, cause I basically dropped out

00:10:46.160 and got a GED and, uh, yeah, he was like, there's no, there's not a chance kid. There's, there's no

00:10:52.540 chance that you're ever joining the military. You've got two time convicted felon. You're,

00:10:56.580 you're, you got drugs in your record. You got gang in your record. Like it ain't happening,

00:11:01.100 kid. And this is the nineties. This is their, you know, Clinton era. So,

00:11:03.980 So what, what was that process like then for you to be able to join? I mean,

00:11:07.780 obviously there was probably some sort of additional waiting period. There was probably

00:11:11.880 some sort of recommendations that you needed to get. Was there anything like that?

00:11:15.340 He said hard. No, that's what they said. Have a nice day. Yeah. There's the door. Have a nice day.

00:11:21.720 But man, I tell you what, like being the rebellious person, you've, you know, you've,

00:11:25.120 you've followed me for some time. You've seen me like, I kind of just go against the grain,

00:11:29.220 which at this point we're, we all are. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Um, it's much needed.

00:11:34.600 We're all. Yeah. And, uh, so at that point in my life, I just was like, Oh, you want to tell me no

00:11:40.980 of something I want to do? Well, let me show you. And my whole, I mean, I literally, I, I nuked my

00:11:47.320 life. I was making anywhere from a thousand to $4,000 cash a week at my job at 17 years old at a

00:11:54.620 house on the beach by myself, you know, like I was doing very well. That's the reason why I left school

00:12:00.260 because I had that job and I was like, it doesn't make sense for me to give up all of this money and

00:12:04.960 this, and what I'm doing in my life to go learn about photosynthesis and to dissect frogs in a lab.

00:12:11.580 Like I I'm just not into it. You know what I mean? That's not going to move the needle in my life.

00:12:15.460 And, um, and because I had gotten in trouble and then rebounded at a very young age as a teenager,

00:12:21.080 I was like, what do I do about growth? How do I move the needle into my life? Because I had to do

00:12:26.600 that. Right. I had to recover from that. I was on probation for two years. I had to serve

00:12:30.700 a community. I had to do all these different things to kind of rebuild essentially a reputation.

00:12:37.760 And, uh, so when I wanted to do something, it was like, this is what I'm going to do. And nobody's

00:12:41.960 going to stand in my way. So I just said, I just went at it from one thing at a time. I said, okay,

00:12:47.600 what's the problem? What is the initial issue? Okay. So a GED is an issue. Okay. I'll go to college.

00:12:54.480 So I went to college. Now I'm no longer a high school dropout. I'm a college student.

00:12:59.760 I'm a college dropout, which the military loves college dropouts. Right. Yeah. We'll take you then.

00:13:04.960 That's for sure. We'll take you then. So I did a semester of that. And then, and then, uh, did that.

00:13:10.360 I gave up my job. I moved in my house with my, I moved into with my grandmother. Um, I went from

00:13:15.840 making, you know, one to $4,000 a week to literally, I was working nights at a movie theater. I got my

00:13:21.200 first check. And I think back then it was like four 75 was minimum wage. I think for two weeks,

00:13:26.660 it was like 150 bucks. And I was like, what the heck am I supposed to do? What is this? Yeah.

00:13:32.660 And what were you doing for work? What was your, what was your job at 17?

00:13:36.680 So I was a, I was working as an audio visual tech at a conference center at Bay Point Marriott from 6.

00:13:43.220 AM to two setting up, like, you know, any conference that you've ever been to projectors,

00:13:49.020 lights, microphones, things like that. And, uh, so, you know, you dress nice, you dress nice,

00:13:54.900 and then you serve the people. So it's from 6 AM to then you're setting all that stuff up for their

00:13:59.260 conferences. And, uh, and then at two, I would take a 30 minute break, have lunch from two 30 to 10.

00:14:05.600 I was working as a bellman at the, at there. And I mean, it was just like a hundred dollar tips,

00:14:11.360 parking cars, putting bags, had concierge service, but you know, the level of that resort at the time

00:14:18.140 was very, very high end. It was the most, it was one of the highest end places in, in, in Panama city

00:14:23.480 beach. And, uh, and they had like the bill fish tournaments, like the big fishing tournaments.

00:14:28.740 So these guys, I'm taking them out to their yachts and they're giving me like $200 cash tips

00:14:32.880 just to drive them to their yacht, you know, and, uh, and to park their car for them.

00:14:37.760 So I was just making bank. And, uh, so I gave that all up.

00:14:41.360 And the reason why was because, so if I go backwards, I looked at my, I looked at my life

00:14:48.220 the way it was Ryan. And I fast forwarded 20 years and I go, Oh my gosh, I could be doing

00:14:55.300 this exact same thing for like the next 20 years. Now, granted, you know, I would have gotten

00:15:00.920 promoted and I could have leveled up and I would have been successful in my own right there. I'm,

00:15:05.500 I would imagine. Cause I had a work ethic, but it was the monotony of that level that just kind of,

00:15:13.100 I panicked. Cause I was like, Oh man, this I'm 17 years old. Yeah. This can't be, this can't be it.

00:15:21.900 You know, where, where does that come from? Because I think about a 17 year old kid or even look back to

00:15:28.040 when I was 17, bro, I wasn't thinking about where I'd be in 20 years. Like that's not a thought

00:15:33.860 that went through my mind. I was getting drunk and partying and looking for, for girls. I wasn't

00:15:39.480 interested in anything down the road. So see, I did all that. I did all that from nine years old

00:15:45.720 to 13 year old. So you already went through that phase really early. Yeah. Like the whole drinking

00:15:51.760 and doing drugs and chasing girls and doing all that. I mean, I got a girl pregnant when I was very

00:15:55.600 young. Um, and so like that, all that stuff had already happened in me and I was like, okay,

00:16:01.940 what do I need to do to move my life forward and not be in trouble? You know, cause I saw where that

00:16:06.480 goes. And, uh, anyways, so the, where it really, I think stems from is growing up. This is, is kind of

00:16:16.380 a negative while that was happening. But as, as an adult, I see it as a positive, my mom, because she

00:16:22.120 was, you know, it was just my mom and my, and my brother, she literally, I made a joke that she was

00:16:28.620 like a gypsy running from the law. Cause we would literally move every six months from the time I was 1.00

00:16:33.040 probably after she left my dad as a baby, um, until geez, man, I want to say 13, you know,

00:16:45.720 something like that. We moved every six months, different school, different house, different life

00:16:51.420 every six months. Was it work for her or was it getting you in a different environment? What,

00:16:56.640 what was the reason for you moving around like that? You know, it's funny. I asked her that as

00:17:00.720 an adult and I said, why the hell were we moving? She goes, Oh honey, you know, it really just came

00:17:05.600 down to work, came down to like looking for jobs, you know what I mean? What I could do. And if we

00:17:10.640 can make more here and, you know, and there was some stuff with, you know, uh, the stepdad that,

00:17:15.980 that played into it as well. But, um, but anyways, he, uh, she was really basically just going from

00:17:23.020 job to job and me and we were just, I remember, I remember literally waking up in a car. Now I don't

00:17:29.840 know if this is a, this is a kid's memory, right? Sure. But I was talking, we were talking about it the

00:17:35.240 other day. And I was like, I remember waking up in the car going, where are we? And like the middle

00:17:40.520 of the night and she's like, Oh, we're moving. And you're like, Oh, okay. Yeah. We're moving.

00:17:47.480 You didn't even know you just woke up and you're already on the road.

00:17:50.760 I'm already on the road, man. I'm already on the road. I'm probably like, you know, six,

00:17:54.220 seven years old. Um, I will never forget the one time we moved, I think from out West back to Florida.

00:18:00.920 And she said, Hey honey, why don't you unpack? And we like, we didn't have anything. We were

00:18:06.020 using like contractor trash bags as our suitcases. And, uh, and I just left everything in there for

00:18:12.200 like weeks. And she's like, why don't you unpack? And I was like, well, we're probably going to move

00:18:16.300 soon anyway. So I just figured it'd be faster if we just, if I just leave it in there and just

00:18:21.000 use the stuff out of there. And I will never forget the look on her face of like, I think that was 1.00

00:18:25.500 like the first time and like the almost like the heartbreak hit her. And it was like, Oh, wow.

00:18:31.460 This is, this is an impact that I'm putting on my kids and I'll never forget her, the look on her

00:18:35.940 face. Um, so anyways, that was where our head was. We were just bag of bonds, man. We're a gypsy family.

00:18:45.240 Yeah. It sounds like it. That's hard for a kid because you can't ever get settled in. You can't

00:18:50.480 make friends. You can't find a path. You can't get comfortable. It's just constant change.

00:18:55.020 Which I had my brother. Oh, that's good. Yeah. Well, I was going to say too, in a lot of ways,

00:19:01.500 it probably prepared you for resilience, emotional and mental resilience in, in, in the, in the

00:19:08.800 services. And then even, you know, now as, as a civilian, a business owner, a father, there's a lot

00:19:13.480 of resilience that comes from that. Well, I'll tell you this, like when I joined, you know, this,

00:19:18.240 when I joined the military, you know, these young guys would get real upset about like maybe living

00:19:25.000 conditions or like having to go stop sleep here, sleep there, sleeping on your pack, you know,

00:19:31.280 like just being stuck and just constantly in limbo. That was so normal for me. I was just like, man,

00:19:39.800 everything's cool, man. Like, yeah, I lived out of, we lived out of a backpack and we would just go.

00:19:45.360 And then especially going into, you know, force recon and then as a Marine Raider and at MARSOC,

00:19:50.800 like it was just not that big of a deal. Yeah. When you get some guys who have lived in the same

00:19:57.340 place for this, done the same thing with their cushy little life growing up, that's a big shock

00:20:02.780 to them. For me, I was like, I'm fed, I'm getting paid. I got all this cool shit for free. We're

00:20:08.980 traveling. I mean, like it's, we're good. This is good.

00:20:13.340 So then how do you, how do you ensure with your older daughters, they're ones out of house. It 0.81

00:20:20.300 sounds like one's probably getting close and then, and then your son, how do you personally

00:20:25.960 strike the balance between giving them a better life than you had, which obviously clearly is

00:20:31.960 something that's important to you, but also give them challenges that you have to almost in a way

00:20:39.080 because of where you are manufacture a bit so they can struggle, but you have to fabricate it for

00:20:44.640 them. Right.

00:20:45.840 Yeah. Well, it's funny you say that we look like, and I use the, I just, I, me and Ali, my wife,

00:20:51.780 we talk about the word fabrication. Like we fabricated, I have to fabricate struggle for my

00:20:58.940 son because he's got, he lives such a, I mean, I don't even want to get into it. The kid's so

00:21:03.600 spoiled, but, but not in a, not in a way that people would think like, not the way his behavior

00:21:08.740 is just his life compared to, to mine as growing up. So honestly, I messed up early on as an early

00:21:17.040 dad. I didn't really, I don't, I won't say messed up, but I didn't have that train of thought. I,

00:21:22.460 my only train of thought was there was no way on earth that my daughters were going to have the life 0.68

00:21:28.320 that I did. So I went all in on making sure that obviously I'm in the military. So I, I made sure

00:21:35.080 that we had a good home that they had, you know, as stable as it could be when I was home, I was

00:21:40.540 present. I was involved. Um, and I did, I feel like I did it for what the time was. I did a very good

00:21:48.280 job doing that, but I didn't inherently push them to struggle or fabricate struggle, which paid later

00:21:57.620 on, you know, I had to pay for that or they had to pay for that later on because I didn't put that

00:22:02.620 on them, you know? And then, so later on in life, I had to start having these like conversations about

00:22:08.620 why struggle is important, but I didn't say because I didn't fabricate it now being the age that I,

00:22:14.460 and the age and the experience, you know, being a father at 20 and being a father at 40 is two very

00:22:19.860 different things. You know, like 20 years old, I'm, I'm holding my first daughter. She's crying. I'm like,

00:22:25.580 is she dying? I don't know. I don't know. You know? And then when he's born, my, you know,

00:22:34.500 my wife was like, man, you're so good. I just, I knew you'd be good, but I didn't think you'd be

00:22:39.640 this good. I'm like, yeah, there's no stress, zero stress. I'm like, you're okay, bud. Everything

00:22:45.540 is fine. You know, as I would imagine it's like, if you, if I handed you a baby today,

00:22:50.100 you would be like, walk in the park. Maybe I don't, I don't, holding babies. Isn't my thing.

00:22:57.940 You know, I know for some people they want to, I'm like, no, I don't, all they do is scream,

00:23:02.440 poop, cry, eat, put bodily fluids on you. I'm just not interested in that. Okay. Yeah. They're fine.

00:23:08.180 They're fine. They're fine. Well, like my daughter this morning, my daughter is sick and she's actually

00:23:12.660 on the couch right now. Mom's out of town. I'm, I'm doing this, but I've, I also have the kids

00:23:17.340 and this morning, since she's been feeling out of the weather, she's starting to throw up and she

00:23:23.620 throws up a little on the couch. I'm like, get up. And she's like dragging her feet and going. So I'm

00:23:28.800 like, no, hurry, get up and go into the bathroom. So I'm kind of yelling at her a little bit. Cause 0.99

00:23:34.420 I don't want her puking all over the couch. And she goes in the bathroom. I finally usher into the 0.99

00:23:38.980 bathroom. She gets in there and finishes up and she comes out and she's like, I'm sick. I don't feel

00:23:44.080 good. I'm like, that's fine. I just don't want you puking all over the couch. Like,

00:23:47.260 you can be sick, but just go do it in the toilet instead of the couch. But that's the difference

00:23:51.520 between, you know, first child and a third or fourth child. Yes. Yes, exactly. Yeah. You'll

00:23:59.480 be all right. Go throw up over there. Exactly. Exactly. Or you see your baby Gatorade. Yeah.

00:24:05.200 Or you see probably with your boys too. Right. You said. Yeah. He's too. So you see him like picking

00:24:10.880 up rocks outside and putting them in his mouth. And you know, on the first child, you're like,

00:24:14.980 Oh, this, the, the, the third or fourth child, you're like, ah, it's fine. It'll just strengthen

00:24:19.520 his gums or help his teeth come through. So I tell, I tell, uh, I tell my wife, I'm like,

00:24:24.780 she's like, she'll get worried about something. I'm like, babe, listen, this is a self-correcting

00:24:28.140 problem. We don't need to get involved. Yeah. This is not something we need to worry.

00:24:32.480 So it's your wife's first, first child. Yeah. Yeah. That's what, that's what we're saying. Well,

00:24:37.460 then she's the, the, the mother too, which is different. There's a different dynamic there.

00:24:40.940 Yeah. Of course. Different dynamic there. Yeah. Yeah. But it's been fun, man. It's been fun to,

00:24:45.800 to be, uh, to be this, to be this, to be older and to be, you know, a veteran father and kind of

00:24:52.080 see it that way. But we do, we've talked a lot about that because I mean, I mean, the reality is

00:24:57.100 now and the success that I've had in life and the work that I've put into, to growing, um, what I have,

00:25:04.440 you know, I mean, the guy, the kid has a nanny. He's never going to see the inside of a classroom.

00:25:08.860 Um, um, when it comes time to do that, we'll probably, I mean, not probably we'll do something

00:25:14.060 with probably Apogee and Matt Bardu and those guys, like we're just going to make our own school

00:25:19.580 essentially, you know, for our own community, because that's the way it should be. It's the

00:25:24.240 way it should have been. It's the way it was. And it's the way it should have been all along.

00:25:27.560 So, you know, for him, it's going to be very, very different. Right. So I have to, like you said,

00:25:32.400 I have to fabricate, I have to fabricate struggle and I have to, you know, but that's where jujitsu

00:25:37.080 comes into play, you know, that that's where wrestling comes into play. That's where,

00:25:40.900 you know, taking him some, me taking him on these, like, you know, this is why it's important for

00:25:46.620 fathers, no matter what age you are to stay physically fit, to be physically fit, to be

00:25:53.320 able to, you know, like he's going to be, I'm going to be 50 and he's going to be 12.

00:25:58.640 You think it might be important for me to keep my shit together, you know, of course, physically

00:26:04.340 and mentally. Um, so that's where those lessons come into play that I have to actually

00:26:10.040 establish. That's why things like the Squire program is important. Those things are vitally

00:26:16.280 important to, um, to young men and to, and to fathers as well to do, to do those sorts of hard

00:26:22.540 things and those, and those types of challenges. You know, what's interesting about the Squire program

00:26:27.920 and, and we run an event too, for fathers and sons as well called legacy. And it's interesting

00:26:33.100 if, if you took the 20 dads and you put them on one side of the room and the 20 sons and put them

00:26:39.300 on the other side of the room, you could with about 85 to 95% certainty, put each child with their father

00:26:46.940 just based on how they look. It's it's, and it, it's, it almost never fails. It's fascinating to me.

00:26:55.280 If, if you look like that, your son looks like that. If you're lean and fit and you're strong,

00:27:00.080 the boy does, if you're doughy and fat and squatty and lazy, the boys like that always.

00:27:04.640 Yep. And they do their, their reflections, their reflection of the fathers. And we do some stuff like,

00:27:10.700 you know, and it's programming, right? Video games and the bad food and this lifestyle that's,

00:27:15.860 that's programming, but you can also have positive programming. And I might get a lot of shit for

00:27:21.280 this, but you know, we do things like I, we do flexing in the mirror. We, we talk about muscles.

00:27:26.740 We talk about protein. We, we have this thing where we go ab check. We like, you know, I'm 40 years old

00:27:32.780 with abs and I'm like pulling up my shirt. I'm like ab check. And he pulls his shirt up and he's like,

00:27:37.220 and he thinks it's so funny. He loves it. What is that doing? Right. But what is it doing?

00:27:42.640 You're creating this environment of physical fitness of yes, it's aesthetics, but what happens

00:27:50.760 when somebody is aesthetically pleasing? If somebody has muscle in their body, they're lean.

00:27:54.780 What does that mean? It means they're disciplined. It means they have discipline in their body. They

00:27:58.980 have discipline in their life and their body and their mind. They're consistent in their life. So

00:28:03.620 they consistently do something they can consistently eat, right? They consistently train. These are,

00:28:08.900 these are building blocks of a successful person, you know, as a hiring, as a, as a, as a business

00:28:14.520 owner. And I look at people, I go, are they physically fit? Because if they're not, what does

00:28:20.560 that mean? Does that mean they can't be on time? They're going to eat shit. They're going to get sick.

00:28:25.960 They're going to cost me more money. Those things matter. And they're not going to be able to see

00:28:31.160 the clients as well. I mean, there's, there's obviously so much to that. Yeah, it is. It is

00:28:36.980 interesting because a lot of times in modern, you know, modern society, we get, we're not supposed

00:28:41.720 to do that, right? Because you're judging and, and you shouldn't judge a book by its cover. It's

00:28:45.900 like, no, I, yeah, you're right. I am discriminating. That's exactly what I'm doing. And I'm

00:28:50.980 discriminating because I want the best people in my corner in on my team, et cetera, et cetera.

00:28:57.900 Exactly. That's, and that's exactly what, and so with him at two years old, we are doing a little

00:29:03.960 bit of programming. He has a choice chore chart, right? So there's, you do, you do this thing,

00:29:09.420 you get a reward, right? And the reward is just a gold star, but it's a reward. Like you're stacking

00:29:15.580 wins. I'm teaching a two-year-old to stack wins and it's everything from feeding the dog,

00:29:20.740 to brushing your teeth, to, you know, changing your clothes, whatever it may be, but he's two and he

00:29:26.980 understands, he already understands that. And he can count to damn near 20, you know? And, but that's

00:29:33.100 because we, it's effort. And I think that's something that we lack is like actually the

00:29:37.680 actual physical mental effort into our kids, because we want to put them on autopilot or we

00:29:42.040 take them to a daycare or we do whatever, you know? Yeah. We've outsourced all of it. It's like

00:29:46.380 you go to school, you learn there, you don't learn here, you learn there. You need to be entertained.

00:29:51.300 We turn the TV on and let Hollywood do the education indoctrination. It's, it's, we outsource

00:29:58.920 all of these things. You know, my wife and I fortunately have, have been homeschooling

00:30:03.640 our children for the past three years. I say my wife and I, that's not accurate. My wife,

00:30:08.400 uh, I, I specifically in the last three to four months have been trying to get more active,

00:30:14.200 more involved. And, uh, I, I do the science lessons with them once a week. And so you're,

00:30:20.220 you're supportive. You're, you're, I'm in a supportive role. That's right. I'm the support role.

00:30:25.880 No, I need, I, but I don't, I don't even like that though. Uh, and admittedly it's become

00:30:30.580 complacent where I'm like, yeah, I'm just in the supportive role, which really means I don't do

00:30:35.920 anything if you're being honest. Right. Right. So I've tried to be in a more active, assertive

00:30:41.160 role to be involved because not only is that good for her so she can get a break in a space that she 0.82

00:30:47.000 needs, but it's good for the kids to be engaged with me. And it's good for me. I've got science books

00:30:51.340 over here that I look through and prepare lessons. And it's been a lot of fun, man, to be engaged that way.

00:30:55.800 But you're right. It does take effort. It does take sacrifice. And, uh, yeah, it's not going to

00:31:01.280 be like the path of least resistance that most of us look for. It shouldn't be. If you want,

00:31:06.500 if you want high performing young adults, the inner inner of the world, it shouldn't be the path of

00:31:11.800 least resistance. You need to, they need to have a lot of resistance because the reality is, and that's

00:31:17.280 what, and as a catch 22, cause as parents, as fathers, right. We, and as mothers, we want to

00:31:24.360 protect them from the world. And you see this in a lot of like highly religious families. You want to 0.96

00:31:32.100 protect them from the negativity of the world. You want to protect them from people that use foul

00:31:38.580 language. You want to protect them from all these different things, but are you protecting them?

00:31:44.420 Are you not preparing them for what they're going to do, what they're going to see and be interacted

00:31:51.400 with on their own? Yeah. I think there's a fine line there. It would be the analogy I've used in

00:31:57.260 the past. It would be like, if you're afraid of water, you're afraid of your kids drowning that you

00:32:04.520 just keep them away from the pool as opposed to the healthy thing, which is to teach them how to swim,

00:32:09.940 right? If they know how to swim, you don't have to worry about the water and then being around a

00:32:14.080 pool. He was a year and a half, Ryan, and he was swimming. Cause I put at nine months, we put him

00:32:19.300 in ISR. I don't know if you ever saw those videos. Were they like underwater as babies and stuff like

00:32:24.160 that? I've seen it. Yes, dude. Very crazy. Very crazy. But now he's two and he can do laps in

00:32:30.140 the pool. He's a, what is ISR? What does that stand for? Infant, uh, infant swimming rescue or

00:32:37.800 something like that. It's just, it's infant self rescue. Like how they know how to hold their

00:32:43.940 breath and stuff. They initially will hold their breath. That's a genetic like coding that they just

00:32:49.480 do. If you put them in the water face down as a baby, they hold their breath and then you teach

00:32:55.120 them to turn, they, they basically get them to turn their head and teach them to roll over and

00:32:58.800 float, float on their back once they do. Yep. And then once they do that, they, they have levels to

00:33:04.180 where they teach them to basically like go and then flip over and then go and then flip over.

00:33:10.320 And now he's, he's just a fish, dude. He just gets in there and just goes.

00:33:15.020 That's so awesome. Jumps in. Like it's, I was going to say, I've had friends who wanted one friend and

00:33:21.580 actually a couple of friends, uh, who have lost, lost children, uh, in, in drowning accidents on

00:33:28.720 tragically, horribly in these drowning accidents. So to know there's programs like that, those things

00:33:35.340 are invaluable. But that's like, that's like you said, it's like, okay, I can either be fearful and

00:33:40.420 just stay away from it or I can lean into it. Is your kid going to cry? Yep. Is he not going to like

00:33:47.640 it? Or is she not going to like it? Yep. Is it good for him? Yep. Yeah. So are we that really

00:33:54.780 soft as parents that we can't see that the hard things that they have to do is what's going to

00:33:59.760 benefit them? This kid will never learn. We'll never know the fear of being around water. And

00:34:06.140 you've probably met adults that can't swim that just are deathly afraid of water. Oh, like that's

00:34:10.280 just no life. That's that's no life. Like what kind of life is that to live that you're just constantly

00:34:14.800 living in fear about this thing or being a parent and being in fear of this thing all the time?

00:34:21.320 Well, I think you hit the nail on the head when you said that are you were talking about parents,

00:34:27.660 you know, being, being afraid. And, and I think more often than not, it's not that we're overly

00:34:33.880 concerned with what our kids are exposed to or not. It's that we're trying to preserve ourselves as

00:34:41.220 parents because we want to be fat. We want to be lazy. We want the path of least resistance.

00:34:47.300 And we say, Oh no, I'm doing it for the kids. No, you're doing it for yourself because you don't

00:34:52.580 want to put yourself in uncomfortable situations. That's good. That's a good point. That's a good

00:34:57.400 point. Yeah. It's being selfish. And I actually have said that I said, if you're, and this is

00:35:01.920 really, you know, you know, towards men because it's kind of gets into my business, but you know,

00:35:07.340 I tell people, dude, if you're that dad that's, that's overweight with type two diabetes and you

00:35:13.000 got kids at home and a wife at home, and you're the single, single income for that family, you're

00:35:17.980 a selfish prick because you're literally. So getting yourself to where you're going to be a liability

00:35:25.800 for your family and God forbid something happened. What are they going to do? And I made that video.

00:35:31.460 And of course I got a lot of hate for it. Like I always do, but that's okay. I welcome it.

00:35:35.580 Um, but then what was really sad was a woman got on there and made several comments saying,

00:35:43.760 unfortunately, this was my husband. And now my, my kids and my grandkids don't have their

00:35:49.780 grandfather and father in their life to like, walk them down the aisle to like experience all

00:35:54.820 these different things that life is continuing to happen. And that person is no longer on this earth

00:36:00.440 and they all miss that person. And that's, and that's really shitty, man, because it's,

00:36:09.020 it's something that we can control. It's one of those things that we can, we can physically do

00:36:14.320 and we can physically fix. Right. And, you know, so that when I, that hit me, you know, I already knew

00:36:20.840 that, but then when she made that comment, it, man, it hit me like a ton of bricks. I'm like,

00:36:24.680 there it is right there. That's, that's the reason why that I talk about the things that I talk

00:36:29.020 about. Cause it's, it's sad and it's selfish. All right, man, we're just going to step away

00:36:34.400 from the conversation very briefly. Uh, I'm very excited. Now you've heard me talk about it for

00:36:39.420 weeks now, but the iron council is finally open this week on Thursday. And if you're wanting to

00:36:46.080 really step it up this year as a man, I can't think of a better place than our exclusive

00:36:50.320 brotherhood. Now what sets us apart because there are a lot of masterminds and brotherhoods and this

00:36:55.660 sort of thing out there is that where so many of these organizations revolve around one central

00:37:01.180 figurehead, the iron council is truly a band of brothers that we all serve and learn from though.

00:37:07.760 There's so much happening in iron council from very specific topics discussed on a daily basis to

00:37:13.740 monthly challenges that we issue to battle team calls, where you work very closely with 10 to 15

00:37:19.840 other high achieving men. And of course, a whole lot more. So now is the time to get your life on track.

00:37:25.260 You don't need to wait until the first of the year, like so many people do to begin making

00:37:29.500 changes. In fact, if you do, you're already behind the ball. So get started right now and get out ahead

00:37:35.720 as we close out the last two weeks of the year, you can learn more and ultimately join us in the

00:37:41.000 iron council at order a man.com slash iron council. Again, that's order a man.com slash iron council.

00:37:48.360 Do that right after the show for now, we'll get back to it with Nick.

00:37:51.740 You know, what's interesting is if you look at our demographics and it doesn't matter if it's on

00:37:58.500 the podcast or Facebook or Instagram or wherever our demographics are typically about 85% men and 15%

00:38:07.620 women. And I have a lot of women who reach out to us advocating for what we're doing, believing in

00:38:15.220 what we're doing because they have a husband or a man or somebody who's not in their lives, whether

00:38:21.620 they're dead or, you know, they're, they're, they're scumbag, a lot of different scenarios.

00:38:27.540 And I won't pass judgment on that. That's for them to decide, but dad's not around and they've

00:38:34.680 got these kids specifically boys. And these moms just do not know how to raise their boys. And that's 1.00

00:38:41.680 not an indictment on the mothers. Like how you, you were raised a lot by your mother. I was raised

00:38:46.320 primarily by my mom. And my mom would say, if she was on this podcast with us, that she was deficient. 1.00

00:38:52.140 She knew not, not a indictment against her, but she's like, Hey, I'm not a man. I don't have the

00:38:58.540 tools to help you be a man. Like you were talking about earlier. And these ladies, 15% of the women 1.00

00:39:03.660 who are here are looking for, for some guidance to help raise their boys. Unfortunately, they can't do

00:39:07.900 it. They got to get other men in their lives. And unfortunately that's kind of what happens in my,

00:39:12.140 my mom's case, she's working one or two jobs at a time. She's not even there. Right. Right. Like we're

00:39:19.280 in survival mode, man. You know what I mean? Yeah. It was a survival mode, you know?

00:39:24.400 Well, it sounds like, you know, with me, it's like, look, looking for that, the way to act.

00:39:32.120 But I, but I got that from my buddies who didn't have good parents at home. And so all of us are

00:39:39.340 running around now. I didn't get into much legal trouble. You know, I'd steal baseball cards or like

00:39:45.480 a Playboy magazine from the convenience store or whatever, or jackass. Yeah. Getting, you know,

00:39:51.540 getting drunk, you know, find somebody's parents alcohol and got drunk. But I w I was looking for

00:39:58.300 that from other boys instead of from men who could have guided me and instructed me in a better way

00:40:02.620 to do it. Yeah. Like what you're doing with your sons, which is what I'm trying to do. Yeah.

00:40:08.820 Yeah. Yeah. So I noticed something changed for you. I don't know exactly the timeframe,

00:40:15.740 but it seems like maybe two or three years ago, you seem like on Instagram, you seem like you just

00:40:24.440 locked it in. And I don't know. Post 2016. Is that okay? So it's 2016. So it's been like six years,

00:40:32.880 six years then. Yeah. Okay. That's really when it started was post 2016. So what happened? What

00:40:39.300 happened around that time where you started to like, just dial this all in? Can I be a hundred

00:40:44.060 percent Frank? Yeah. Well, I want you to, I stopped giving a fuck what everybody said and what people

00:40:49.680 thought about me because so a group of people, and you probably even remember this when it happened,

00:40:55.760 came after me and said that I did all these different things and blah, blah, blah. And just,

00:40:59.220 and like, I actually made a video about it with, with B, um, just, just this week and launched it

00:41:05.480 Monday. Um, a bunch of people were just, you know, you know how it is with, with, within a community

00:41:12.140 is everybody wants you to do good. Just not as good as them. Right. Right. You know, or better. And,

00:41:19.820 uh, so, so I came from a, a world and a community of, of people that were taught to be

00:41:25.300 the quiet professional. That's what they like to say, the quiet professional, right? Don't use

00:41:31.360 your, don't use your, you know, there's people that like, don't use your trident to, to get ahead.

00:41:37.080 Don't use your badge to get ahead. Don't use all this stuff. So just be quiet. And even my first

00:41:42.460 company, STS, my training consulting company, it wasn't even about me or an individual was about like,

00:41:48.600 you know, our thing was like shield to shield. We're stronger together, that sort of thing.

00:41:52.200 And, uh, and unfortunately it doesn't work. People want to connect with a person. They want

00:41:56.360 to, they want to understand, they follow order of man because of Ryan. They want to get to know

00:42:02.580 Ryan. If you can remove Ryan, what is order of man without you? Like I take, I, I, I actually would

00:42:12.620 challenge what we can come back to it. Cause I want to hear what you have to say. I'd actually

00:42:15.180 challenge that premise, but, but continue and then we'll get to it. Yeah. Um, yeah, we've had some,

00:42:20.460 we've had some good debates through Instagram. No doubt. No doubt. And that's good. Yeah. Yeah.

00:42:25.300 Yeah. It's good. That's I tell people all the time. They're like, I don't agree with all my

00:42:28.920 friends. They're still my friends. Right. That's like the world that we've came into. You have to

00:42:33.240 agree with everybody. No, you can, you can disagree and have conversations with people and have different

00:42:37.860 points of view. Like anyways. So, so in marketing and growing the business, I was really like, okay,

00:42:44.180 I'm going to stay in the shadows. I'm going to do these things. I'm going to try to treat people. Well,

00:42:48.440 I'm going to take care of veterans. I'm going to do all the right things. I'm going to follow all

00:42:51.820 the rules that I was told in the service that we're supposed to follow. Brian, I was broke. I

00:42:58.820 was living like living hand to mouth. I was barely making ends meet that nothing was growing. And then

00:43:06.400 all of a sudden the whole, it felt like the whole world came against me. Every contact, every friend,

00:43:11.580 every, every relationship that I made, I lost like 90% of them to BS. Like people just were like,

00:43:18.760 nope, I'm out. I don't want to be involved. And then, so I went through this grieving period of

00:43:22.880 like, how could this happen? Why is it happening? Et cetera. And then it hit me. I was like, wait a

00:43:27.580 minute. If I can do all the things that they told me to do, if I can just serve people, keep my mouth

00:43:33.540 shut, keep my head down, you know, just follow the rules. Don't talk about being a Raider. Don't put

00:43:39.560 any of my stuff on things like books and badges and all, you know what I mean? Just like basically

00:43:45.440 what all the Navy SEALs do, like not, don't do that. Right. Right. And then I, it's like the Raider

00:43:52.580 and Ranger community seems like, seems a little bit more quiet than the SEAL community. Sure.

00:43:58.860 Right. So, so I did all that and I was like, wait a minute. So if I'm going to get destroyed

00:44:04.740 and if I'm going to follow the rules and to get, get publicly destroyed anyway, what does it matter

00:44:10.100 what I do? So something switched a little bit after that. And I was like, once I got through

00:44:17.080 that grieving process, something switched and I was just like, well, I'm going to do whatever the heck

00:44:21.040 I want to do. But that, when I, when that happened, this fire of personal growth started

00:44:28.840 to happen with myself because I was like, okay, well, I'm just going to say and do whatever I

00:44:36.120 want to do for better or worse. Cause it's just me and I don't care anymore because if they're

00:44:42.280 going to damn me for doing the following the rules, then what are they going to do? If I don't follow

00:44:47.240 the rules and just blaze my own trail, you know, what's weird people stop talking. I started making

00:44:54.540 more money. I started getting healthy, like mentally, not to mention that was still part

00:44:59.400 of my like transition out of the military. And we all have, we all have that hell. I wrote a book

00:45:03.300 about it. Um, but we all have that transition out, you know, and, and they're all very similar.

00:45:08.560 They all look very similar. Um, so anyways, so when that happened, I started this journey of personal

00:45:16.660 growth and then getting coaches, um, figuring out my getting, you know, taking charge and ownership

00:45:22.560 of my health, my hormones, you know, getting on, you know, HRT and just, and just becoming the,

00:45:29.460 like where I'm at right now, how can I be the very, very best version of myself of where I'm at?

00:45:35.580 How can I become the very best version of myself today? What do I got to do? What do I need to learn?

00:45:42.760 What's the concepts that I need to learn? What are the physical things that I have to do?

00:45:47.480 And that's what started that journey. And I just went all, I mean, I went all in on it. I went all

00:45:53.040 in on that and it changed my entire life. What, what is the reasoning for the, the whole concept of the

00:46:02.340 quiet professional? Because I, my mentality is if you have something, whether it's tools or information

00:46:10.360 or resources that can serve somebody else, then it's not right. It's there's, there's a, it's,

00:46:17.780 it's actually morally wrong in my mind, not to share that with people who could be impacted by it.

00:46:23.520 Right. I don't understand. I think, I think while you're in, I think they're in, this is Nick's

00:46:28.700 opinion. So I'll just caveat that this is my personal opinion. I think it's about control.

00:46:33.860 Hmm. I think it's a way for them to control you. Cause I've got, we've had, we would have people

00:46:40.240 come down and speak to us when we were at, when I was active and go, just remember guys, you guys

00:46:44.960 are not special. And I'm like, it literally says the word special on the building. The word special

00:46:54.280 is written on the building in letters for everyone to see. Yeah. Yeah. And you are special. Your title

00:47:01.340 is your special, special operator. Yeah. You're a special operator. It says Marine special operations

00:47:07.500 command that has special operators that work in there. But then we would come down and be like,

00:47:11.600 listen, you'd be a quiet professional. You need to be humble and you need it. You're not special.

00:47:15.920 You're just regular Marines just doing it. Then they would say, you're just Marines. You're just

00:47:21.060 regular Marines doing a special job. So wait a minute, we're doing a special job, but we're not

00:47:25.300 special. So I really do think Ryan, I think it's a way for them to control

00:47:30.320 to control you, to utilize you, but to put you in this cap, right? We don't want you getting too

00:47:39.480 big. We don't want you to getting to know it all because then we can't control you and you know

00:47:45.620 more than us. I've thought a lot about the, about humility and how it's misused or dangled or held

00:47:54.000 over people's heads. Like you're supposed to be humble, which really what they're saying is

00:47:59.200 what you said earlier, don't excel. Don't exceed. Don't put yourself out there. Don't get better than

00:48:06.060 us. You got to be humble. That's not humble. That isn't humility to hold yourself back because

00:48:13.080 somebody else might be intimidated by or doesn't have control over you. So let's get that right.

00:48:18.320 That's not humility. You know, I think humility is being that savage servant, realizing that it's

00:48:26.140 not all about you, that the reason why you need to be as good. The reason why you need to be the

00:48:31.480 very best version of yourself is because you're going to serve other people. And the most wealthy,

00:48:37.000 both, both financially, mentally, spiritually, people that I know are all in on serving others.

00:48:43.360 That's the catch. I know some people out there that are always like, how do I get something for

00:48:50.280 myself? How do I, how do I level up my life? How do I get more money for me? How do I do this for me?

00:48:57.300 How do I do this for me and mine? But the real successful people, the real ones that are truly

00:49:03.120 wealthy are the ones that are helping others. Yeah, for sure. Where does the savage component come in?

00:49:09.900 I, I, I, I bring this up and I'm, and I try to be as reflective as I can. I'm not always as reflective

00:49:15.960 as I should be, but I've used verbiage like that before savage. And, you know, we have, we have our

00:49:21.920 battle planner, you know, we use this verbiage and it sounds awesome on Instagram. Yeah. But not

00:49:30.420 everything's a battle. Not everything needs that like warrior, like kick-ass mentality. So when you say

00:49:36.780 savage, he's that out a little bit for us, what'd you mean by that?

00:49:41.160 What I mean by that is every man should be the warrior in the garden, not the gardener at war.

00:49:50.880 You need to have the capacity to be the savage. You need to have the, you need to have the know-how

00:49:57.700 to be as dangerous as possible, to be as physically fit as possible, to be an absolute

00:50:03.520 badass, but to have it completely in check. To also, to, to know, to know when to, you have to fight

00:50:15.220 and to know when you have to love and have the capacity for both.

00:50:20.360 What do you say to somebody who, you know, as you talk about this and I've, and I've talked about

00:50:24.480 it too, or like jujitsu, for example, how long you've been training, by the way?

00:50:28.840 I just did over three years.

00:50:30.600 Okay. Yeah. I thought we, I thought we had been training about the same amount of time. I think

00:50:34.860 I'm close to maybe, maybe four years or so, but it's about, I think you're a little bit ahead of

00:50:39.340 me. Yeah. Yeah. We'll have to never catch you. That's the way that works. That no, that's as long

00:50:46.280 as I keep going, that's the trick, right? Cause you could say, well, I think you probably know

00:50:52.800 Andy Stumpf and he is, I mean, he's a, he is an assassin on the mats. Yeah. And I, and I rolled

00:51:02.660 with him. Maybe we were both in our first year and I rolled with him and we were fairly evenly

00:51:10.620 matched. Like he was a little better than me, but he couldn't sweep me. I couldn't get past his guard,

00:51:16.180 like kind of a stalemate. And I rolled with him, uh, this last origin immersion camp. So three months

00:51:23.880 ago, he's a purple belt now. And he demolished me like absolutely. I've heard rumors that he is an 1.00

00:51:34.740 absolute assassin on the mats. That's what I've heard. So, so yeah, we gotta be careful saying,

00:51:40.680 Oh, never catch up. It's like, well, you know, like absolutely. If you, if you're more consistent

00:51:45.880 than somebody else or even just natural talent and you hone and refine it better, you can absolutely

00:51:50.220 catch other people. Yeah. But where I was going with that is what do you say to somebody who's

00:51:55.480 like, yeah, well, okay. You know, jujitsu, learn how to shoot guns and learn how to, you know, sweep

00:52:01.300 a house and all this. But the odds of me using that are, are, you know, I'm never going to have to do

00:52:05.740 that, which is actually probably true. Like the odds of you having to get into a physical altercation

00:52:12.360 are significantly lower than they've ever been. So what do you say when somebody says something

00:52:16.660 like that? I'm going to say that you will never get into physical altercation because of those

00:52:20.420 things. There's a reason why there's a reason why a six foot, you know, 200 something pound man has

00:52:27.540 never been stood up. No one's ever attacked me. You know what I mean? If you look at it from like,

00:52:35.180 if you let's go, let's go to like a threat assessment side of this thing. When somebody wants to break

00:52:40.980 into a house, there's never been a house broken into. Like I was just talking to a marshal who's

00:52:46.580 been in law enforcement, his almost his entire career. Um, and he goes in 10 years of B and E's,

00:52:53.700 not one had a dog in the house. Hmm. Interesting. Why? It's not something they want to deal with.

00:53:01.440 They don't want to mess with that. They don't want to mess with uncertainty for sure.

00:53:04.900 Exactly. It's uncertainty. If you look at guy like you or guy like me at a gas station,

00:53:09.140 you know, you look typically Ryan, typically you look angry. You look like, you look like an angry

00:53:14.600 person. Yeah. And I'm not, I know it comes across that way. Your facial expression. You look like an

00:53:21.460 angry man. You don't look like somebody that I want to go, Hey, give me all your money. Yeah,

00:53:26.740 sure. You might almost be looking forward to that. You know what I mean? Like you look like a guy that's

00:53:30.580 like, Oh God, I've been waiting for this my whole life. I dream. I've dreamt about this moment for

00:53:37.620 my entire life. And here it is in front of me, placed before me. And here it is. It's like,

00:53:42.820 there's things that, that people, that people go, you know, that somebody breaks into your house and

00:53:47.460 go, Oh, you think that you think that you're, that I'm trapped in here with you. No, you're actually

00:53:52.880 trapped in here with me. This is like, you know, my, my dream come true. It actually happened the

00:53:59.320 other night. I'm laying there in bed to sleep one o'clock in the morning. And my alarm goes off the

00:54:05.700 house alarm set trips and I'm grabbing my gun, get up. I'm on the floor. I'm on my feet. And I, uh,

00:54:13.700 I just peeked out my, uh, room and looked out the front door. I didn't see anything down the stairs.

00:54:19.060 And I, and I went back in and my wife's up and she's like, what's going on? She, she woke up to the

00:54:26.640 alarm going off me grabbing my gun. I'm already on my feet. I'm like, what's going on as the

00:54:32.740 alarm's going off. I need you to pull up the camera. So she pulled up the cameras and long

00:54:36.400 story short, the wind actually ended up blowing open one of our doors that we failed to lock.

00:54:42.220 And, uh, that's why it tripped, but I was excited. I was ready. I was ready. I was like, Oh, here we go.

00:54:47.640 Got my gun. This is my moment. But the reality is because we train this way, because we prepare

00:54:57.480 this way, because we mentally think like this, the reality of something ever occurring for you and I

00:55:03.300 is very slim. God forbid it does. It will, it will not be the outcome. The other individual thinks

00:55:09.860 it will be. Um, it will be the worst day of their life or the last day of their life,

00:55:14.320 but that's the reality, right? The reality is you, you prepare for something that's never going to

00:55:19.020 come, but you look at somebody who doesn't, they are inherently a victim. So I look at that dad,

00:55:26.400 right? Who's overweight, that doesn't train, that doesn't do anything physical. And he has this,

00:55:30.820 this thing in his head where he thinks, and you know how it is. It's like, like the guys that talk

00:55:36.860 about jujitsu, it's like, well, in a real fight, I would be, you know, I'm a savage and I would be

00:55:42.020 throwing blows and doing all this kind of stuff. You know what I mean? Your jujitsu wouldn't happen.

00:55:45.920 I was like, yeah, in a real fight, I would be throwing blows, pulling your eyes, ripping your

00:55:49.900 ears off. Plus all the jujitsu. Right. So we're still not equally matched their homes. But my,

00:55:58.220 my point being is, is that guy is living in a, in a falsehood to where when, when one of those bad

00:56:04.300 days happens, he is not prepared. He will not be able to do anything. And this goes for women as well.

00:56:09.680 My wife trains and my wife started training because of that thought process right there. 1.00

00:56:13.820 She goes, you know what? There's no, I want to be as physically, mentally, spiritually prepared

00:56:20.000 to protect my children and my family as much as possible. And the reality is, and this is,

00:56:27.720 and I will tell you, I'll tell you a story. The reality is, I think that has already happened.

00:56:32.760 And she is a very physically fit woman. Um, she has that kind of look that you do, or like 1.00

00:56:40.440 you initially look at her and you're like, I don't think that I want to mess with her. She looks like

00:56:45.220 she would rip my hair out and drag, drag my face against the concrete, which she would. And, uh, so 1.00

00:56:51.200 she was going into a store. Um, she didn't have my son. My son was at my mom's. So she went into a

00:56:58.280 store. Uh, it was like, uh, like a, like a CBD store went into the CBD store and at five 30,

00:57:07.860 I think she, I think she walked out at five 30 at five 31, a guy walked in and stabbed this, uh,

00:57:14.680 the attendant to death. This is right down the street. Oh my gosh. Right after she left the store

00:57:19.520 right after she left. So he, so he had probably seen her in the store.

00:57:25.120 My assessment is knowing what I know, people just don't randomly walk in. They typically scope

00:57:31.360 out something a little bit beforehand. They case it, make sure there's no cops, make sure there's

00:57:35.780 no security, make sure there's no guys that look like you and I, you know what I mean? Cause they

00:57:39.480 want an easy target. There was a woman that was working in there. It's horrible situation, Ryan.

00:57:43.660 But the reality is, I think my assessment is, I think he saw her and goes, that's going to be too

00:57:52.360 difficult. I don't want to deal with that. And she carries. So he would have been, you know, 0.99

00:57:59.780 that would have been it, but she didn't see him. But I mean, the timing alone shows that

00:58:05.120 he was right there. He was there. Yeah. He was there. But that's, he was there. But that's my point is

00:58:10.620 like the sad point of that is you, we prepare purposely and intent and intentfully to, to do

00:58:18.780 this thing that we hopefully will never have to do. Yeah. And the odds of us having to do it,

00:58:23.940 if we prepare that way or significantly lessened, the other side I see to this too, is that, you know,

00:58:30.880 yeah, I talk about jujitsu a lot and, you know, you talk about preparing this way and physical fitness

00:58:35.440 because I like it, I enjoy it. So of course we talk about things we like and it's, you know,

00:58:41.320 there's a, there's a therapeutic level to it as well. You know what I mean?

00:58:45.380 There's a therapeutic level and there's also a practical application when it comes to mindset.

00:58:51.200 So it's not just about the physicality. It's not just about the, the, the capabilities or the

00:58:56.500 skillset. It's the mindset and it, and it strengthens the way that you show up as a father.

00:59:02.460 It strengthens the way that you show up in your business or coaching a little league baseball team.

00:59:08.480 Like all of those things translate over into other avenues of our life and you will be better

00:59:14.640 because you're physically fit outside of just being physically fit.

00:59:19.200 Yep. That's it.

00:59:21.360 Uh, I know you've got a challenge coming up in January for the guys. Is that, um, it's the 30 day

00:59:31.060 challenge, right? Is that, is that what it's 30 day challenge? Yeah. Is that, uh, is that purely a

00:59:36.840 physical fitness type challenge? What does that actually look like?

00:59:42.100 It's predominantly. So when I look at, when I look at a, like a man, right. If I take a look at a man, 0.97

00:59:47.800 I, for instance, say somebody wants to be one of my tier one clients, we want to scale their

00:59:54.300 business, right? They want to scale their business. They want to turn, they want to go from $1 million

00:59:58.020 to $3 million. Okay. And they come in, they sleep in, they hit the snooze button. They're not

01:00:05.820 training. They eat garbage. They're overweight. They got type two diabetes. I'm going to go like,

01:00:11.700 listen, man, I'm not, I, there's nothing we need to work. We need to fix you before we can fix your

01:00:15.940 business. Like you're not going to be able to mentally, physically scale your business

01:00:19.640 unless we get your life under control. And if we don't get your life under control and we focus

01:00:25.140 on your business more, your personal life is going to even become more of a wreck.

01:00:29.460 No, your relationship with your kids are going to become strained, more strained than they are now.

01:00:34.100 Your relationship with your wife is going to be more strained. Like, and this is going to end

01:00:38.280 horribly. We have to fix you. So the reason why I bring that up is because I feel like for me,

01:00:45.180 for, for human beings in general, our foundational anchor is physical fitness and health. Like we

01:00:52.080 have to be physically fit. And I'm not talking about like special operations fit. I'm just talking

01:00:56.760 about just not a high BMI, a lower, a low body fat percentage, having muscle in our body, not having

01:01:04.980 a bunch of body fat, being healthy, being what men and women look like in the seventies, you know,

01:01:10.600 before everything, you know, changed. Um, that's what I'm talking about. Not being obese, you know,

01:01:17.900 being healthy, eating real food, not shit out of a box. Um, so with that said, what do we do here?

01:01:25.780 Well, if we have that, then the first thing that we need to do is we need to get your physical

01:01:29.760 fitness and your nutrition in order. So that's what the challenge is. That's where it starts. That's the

01:01:34.000 best of foundation. That's the 30 day that can you for 30 days, can you do these workouts?

01:01:41.060 Can you make a schedule? Can you stick to eating these set of this set of macros?

01:01:45.820 Can you show up in your family's life? Can you do the personal development? Can you take a 20 minute

01:01:50.520 walk with your family? And then we do live calls where we talk about, you know, the four pillars of

01:01:54.900 the Agogi fitness, discipline, self-belief, and then why we do it all tribe. And, uh, so yes,

01:02:02.100 it's very heavily on the physical and nutritional side, but I'll tell you what, man, that 30 days

01:02:09.020 has, I mean, I have quotes where this thing has changed family's lives completely for the better,

01:02:17.680 revolutionized their entire life for their entire family. But for those people that did it,

01:02:23.220 it, the 30 day challenge was an honor ramp. It wasn't the thing. Right. And that's the reason why I

01:02:30.960 hate the third, I hate 30 day challenges because so many people, they do a 30 day challenge, they

01:02:35.860 make progress. And then they just literally, they're like, I, they celebrate the 30 day challenge

01:02:41.180 and they go right back to what they were doing where they got them in the first place. Yeah. And

01:02:46.100 that's why I hate the 30 day challenges. But for those that, the, the, those that utilize it as an

01:02:51.600 on-ramp to change their life and their family's life, they will be forever changed, but that's a choice

01:02:57.020 that they have to make as an intentional choice that they're making. It's amazing. You know,

01:03:02.420 you talk about 30 days and it transforming somebody's life. Like if you went all in on

01:03:06.280 something, whether it's physical fitness or all in with your, your family or all in on your

01:03:13.000 business, if you went all in, I mean, all in for 30 days. Yeah. Cause we say it like I'm all in,

01:03:20.400 well, what about this? Well, you know, then I, yeah. Okay. You're not all in, right? Like

01:03:24.280 all in like to the death. And it's amazing how quickly you can transform the trajectory of your

01:03:34.240 life in that short of timeframe. I remember, I remember when you did that. I don't remember

01:03:39.620 exactly when it was, but you publicly came out and said, you didn't say all in, but you said,

01:03:46.100 I was not being a true professional and when was that? And you were like, I am now I'm making the

01:03:56.280 intentional choice. And maybe that's why you said it publicly. So it was on the record, but you were

01:04:00.940 like, I'm going to make the intentional choice to do this professionally. It's something along those

01:04:07.120 lines. And I took it as like, Oh, he's going to go all in and leveled this thing up. Yeah. I think

01:04:12.500 I use the terms professional amateur where I felt like I was an amateur, but I was making money doing

01:04:21.080 it. So I'm, I considered myself a professional amateur to a, to a novice professional, a new

01:04:28.760 professional. And that was probably, uh, I would say that was probably about two years ago. And that's

01:04:36.980 where everything took off the quality of the podcast exploded. The that's, uh, I started writing

01:04:43.920 that book about a year, about a year and a half ago. Yeah. You're so if you're, I'm plugging your

01:04:50.840 own book and your own podcast, you guys haven't picked this up. If you haven't picked this up,

01:04:54.440 go pick it up. It's awesome. Thank you, brother. Well, Hey, look, man, tell the guys, uh, how to

01:04:59.460 connect with you to learn about the 30 day, uh, a gogi challenge and everything else, of course,

01:05:04.680 that you have going on as well. Let the guys know. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. Uh, you can just,

01:05:08.420 if you're on Instagram, um, DM me the word, uh, challenge, just go on Instagram and DM me the

01:05:13.520 word challenge. I'll automatically send you the link and you can check it out from there.

01:05:17.000 It's, uh, I mean, at this point we've done thousands and thousands of people. And to give

01:05:23.240 you an idea, let me pull up the last one just to give you an idea of what it does. So I think this

01:05:30.480 was 2020. No, this is not, this is not updated. I don't think as of now, this is, this was not

01:05:35.980 including last challenge. Cause we just wrapped the last challenge. We've lost 1700 pounds this

01:05:41.920 year and 900 inches. That's awesome. That's in 2022. Yeah. So that's not including the November

01:05:49.440 challenge, but yeah, seven. So not including this, the November challenge, 1700 pounds and 900 inches

01:05:56.080 in 2022. So over that, um, of pounds lost in, in, in inches of circumference. So we make them,

01:06:02.800 you know, measure themselves as well. And, uh, but anyways, that's how wild is that dude?

01:06:08.800 1700 pounds. It's amazing what you can do in 30 days. If you do it right. And you're like, all right.

01:06:14.860 And you can do anything for 30 days. You could do anything for 30 days. If you can't like,

01:06:21.040 just go slink up in a corner somewhere. Cause I mean, come on, you could do anything for 30 days.

01:06:27.720 Well, brother, I've appreciated this conversation. I took a lot. I always take notes, man. I took lots

01:06:31.940 of notes right here. I've got a few more, um, and I'll sync it all up. So the guys know where to go.

01:06:37.420 So the best way is to send them to Instagram. Is that best?

01:06:40.820 Yeah, that's the best. Okay. Instagram. Sweet. We'll sync it all up. I'm everywhere. I'm in all,

01:06:46.700 I'm in all the things, but, uh, but if that's the easiest part, the easiest way to go.

01:06:51.980 Right on brother. Well, I appreciate you, man. It's been good to get to know you of course,

01:06:55.020 follow you, but then this is the longest conversation we've had. So, um, I'm always

01:06:59.340 inspired and motivated by what you're doing. So I just got to say thanks for what you do because

01:07:03.920 it's actually helped me on my journey and path. And I'm, and I'm still on the path as well.

01:07:07.520 So, and it's really helped me. So thanks for that. And thanks for joining me.

01:07:10.860 Thanks, Ryan.

01:07:13.000 All right, gentlemen, there you go. There was the powerful conversation with the one only

01:07:16.280 Nick Kumalatzos. I hope that you enjoyed that conversation. That was a long time coming.

01:07:23.160 I enjoyed the conversation. We've, uh, conversed quite a bit via Instagram, but never, uh, been

01:07:29.300 able to sit down and have a meaningful conversation like that. And I'm walking away with a lot of good

01:07:33.520 information too. So, uh, if you are interested in his, uh, gogi training, make sure to check that

01:07:39.180 out, connect with him on the gram. That's where he said he's most active as am I. And as I ask every

01:07:44.900 week, just take a screenshot right now of you listening to this podcast, tag Nick, tag myself,

01:07:50.860 put it up on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, wherever, and let other men know what

01:07:56.920 you're listening to and where you're getting your information. Because odds are, if you're applying

01:08:01.820 this information, then you are becoming a better man. And the odds are they see it. And if we have

01:08:06.520 something that we can share and offer to other people, then we have a responsibility to do so.

01:08:11.780 So please do that. Uh, also again, iron council guys, we're open on Thursday. So make sure you head

01:08:19.160 to order a man.com slash iron council. If you do that right now, you can drop your name and email

01:08:23.940 and I'll send you an email on Thursday. As soon as we open up so you can get enrolled and get

01:08:30.360 onboarded and ramped up and ready to go for the next two weeks. So that when we get into January

01:08:36.420 one, it's not like you're starting it's you've already got that rolling start. You're already out of

01:08:41.640 the blocks in a major way around the track once. And you can hit the ground running with some momentum

01:08:46.440 into the year that is at order a man.com slash iron council. All right, guys, that's all I've got

01:08:52.980 for you today. Uh, member, check out the iron council, share this, tag this, let, let Nick know

01:08:59.620 you heard him here. All the things you have your marching orders. We'll be back tomorrow for ask me

01:09:04.040 anything until then go out there, take action and become the man you are meant to be. Thank you for

01:09:09.420 listening to the order of man podcast. You're ready to take charge of your life and be more of the man

01:09:14.460 you are meant to be. We invite you to join the order at order of man.com.

Order of Man - December 13, 2022

NICK KOUMALATSOS ｜ Become a Warrior in the Garden

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