Order of Man

00:00:00.000 I don't care that OJ Simpson died.

00:00:02.380 I don't.

00:00:03.100 I get really frustrated when people, celebrities, notable people in society die,

00:00:09.680 and then all of a sudden they become saints.

00:00:11.560 This guy was not a saint.

00:00:13.020 I'm not a saint.

00:00:14.120 I don't even want my family to talk about me as a saint.

00:00:16.820 I'm not.

00:00:17.560 Just be real.

00:00:18.720 I get so frustrated when people die, and all of a sudden these guys,

00:00:23.840 whether it's somebody as notable as OJ Simpson or your own father, 0.99

00:00:27.660 who was a complete asshole and took advantage of every person on the planet, 0.98

00:00:31.400 all of a sudden he dies, and then he's a great human being? 1.00

00:00:33.520 He's a saint?

00:00:34.200 Come on now.

00:00:35.380 You're a man of action.

00:00:36.900 You live life to the fullest.

00:00:38.360 Embrace your fears and boldly chart your own path.

00:00:41.300 When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time, every time.

00:00:45.760 You are not easily deterred or defeated, rugged, resilient, strong.

00:00:50.820 This is your life.

00:00:51.880 This is who you are.

00:00:53.320 This is who you will become at the end of the day,

00:00:55.920 and after all is said and done, you can call yourself a man.

00:01:00.200 Kip, what's up, brother?

00:01:01.180 Great to see you.

00:01:02.220 A little different than we normally do.

00:01:03.720 Nobody else would know it, but we normally record these podcasts

00:01:06.800 every Monday at 10 o'clock Mountain,

00:01:11.060 and we're recording this at 2.10 Mountain.

00:01:14.340 So both of us are a little scatterbrained on a Friday.

00:01:17.840 We're a little scatterbrained.

00:01:19.160 So bear with us, guys, but I'm going to be gone,

00:01:22.060 and I think part of the lesson here is even though you have things come up,

00:01:26.440 I'm going to be gone all of next week.

00:01:27.960 We still got to get things done.

00:01:29.440 So we make plans and we adjust accordingly,

00:01:31.680 and here we are, you and I, recording on a Friday afternoon.

00:01:35.940 I think, objectively, you might be a little bit more scatterbrained

00:01:39.420 than I am today, Kip.

00:01:40.540 Totally.

00:01:41.000 I had a rough day at the office yesterday, literally.

00:01:43.780 Oh, really?

00:01:44.120 Shoot. 0.69

00:01:44.340 Sorry, man.

00:01:44.780 Well, and my mornings are a little bit more,

00:01:47.420 Monday mornings, because of this, are a little bit more planned to prep.

00:01:52.680 And literally, like, lunch, 30-minute drive back from lunch,

00:01:57.560 that was a meeting to hop into here,

00:02:00.420 and someone was in the studio, so I had to kick him out. 0.99

00:02:02.940 And, you know, I'm like, oh, shit. 0.98

00:02:06.360 But, hey, we'll make a do, man. 0.99

00:02:08.540 Good way to start off the weekend.

00:02:09.820 I'm down.

00:02:11.160 We make it work.

00:02:12.280 We make it work.

00:02:12.960 Well, normally, we start with headlines.

00:02:15.160 You said that you didn't have a headline.

00:02:17.660 Just because of all that's going on.

00:02:19.840 I don't actually have a headline either.

00:02:22.600 I've got a series of headlines.

00:02:24.240 I've got just a theme that I've been seeing over the past several days.

00:02:28.740 So you want me to just go ahead and jump right into that?

00:02:30.840 Yeah, let's do it.

00:02:31.740 I love it.

00:02:33.340 All right.

00:02:33.820 So a couple of days ago, as you may know, Mr. OJ Simpson died.

00:02:40.660 I already know which one.

00:02:41.920 I tagged this news story for Monday in preparation.

00:02:45.920 Oh, okay.

00:02:46.940 So you're going to have to change for Monday.

00:02:48.560 Well, what I've been doing is tagging stuff in preparation for headlines.

00:02:52.120 And then Sunday, I'll kind of look at what I tagged for the week.

00:02:55.220 And this was what I, in my processes, tagged as a consideration.

00:03:01.140 So we're there.

00:03:02.180 Let's just have it out right now, Kip.

00:03:04.040 Let's just have it out right now.

00:03:05.820 I've been doing a little planning in preparation for our discussion today.

00:03:10.080 And I've got four bullet points I wanted to hit on.

00:03:13.200 I'm not addressing any specific headline in general or specifically.

00:03:17.680 I'm just talking about it in general.

00:03:19.360 Got it.

00:03:20.020 Because there's thousands and thousands of headlines out there.

00:03:22.780 And so you can go ahead and pick whatever one you want.

00:03:25.820 Here's a couple of thoughts I have.

00:03:27.640 I have four in particular.

00:03:29.360 Number one, this is the one that's going to make me sound really, really cold.

00:03:34.360 I don't care that O.J. Simpson died.

00:03:38.880 I don't.

00:03:40.520 His life doesn't impact mine.

00:03:44.120 Great football player.

00:03:45.600 Not so great human being.

00:03:47.620 And that's the extent of my care for what's going on with this guy.

00:03:52.220 I get really frustrated when people, celebrities, notable people in society die.

00:03:58.780 And then all of a sudden, they become saints.

00:04:00.920 This guy was not a saint.

00:04:03.100 I'm not a saint.

00:04:04.280 I don't even want my family to talk about me as a saint.

00:04:07.460 I'm not.

00:04:08.740 Just be real.

00:04:10.080 I get so frustrated when people die.

00:04:13.200 And all of a sudden, these guys, whether it's somebody as notable as O.J. Simpson or your own father, who was a complete asshole and took advantage of every person on the planet, all of a sudden he dies. 0.99

00:04:24.580 And then he's a great human being. 1.00

00:04:25.700 He's a saint.

00:04:27.060 Come on now.

00:04:27.900 And I'm not saying we need to, quote, unquote, disrespect the dead.

00:04:32.180 But I don't need to pretend that you were something other than you weren't.

00:04:36.620 And if I'm supposed to give my eulogy for my father or somebody in my life who wasn't a great human being, I'm going to state the facts.

00:04:44.040 But I'm not going to inflate the facts and tell everybody how wonderful he was.

00:04:48.780 Because the reality is that he wasn't, and you weren't, Kip, and I'm not, and nobody is.

00:04:56.180 And there's only about three people, maybe five, maybe ten at most, who actually care about me dying.

00:05:04.980 But we get so wrapped up in this thing of, like, worshiping celebrities and telling everybody how great they are, and I don't buy into that nonsense for one bit.

00:05:18.900 So that's point number one.

00:05:20.680 Point number two.

00:05:21.460 And everybody seemed to get really upset that when certain individuals said, hey, you know, we lost O.J. Simpson.

00:05:29.140 He was a great football player, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

00:05:32.060 There was a lot of people who got upset because they failed to mention the people that he, quote, unquote, killed.

00:05:41.980 Well, how could you not recognize the victims in this post?

00:05:46.740 Guys, like, we need to worry about other things.

00:05:52.580 And which leads me to point number three.

00:05:55.500 He was acquitted on criminal charges.

00:05:58.960 I still believe, maybe a little bit less than I did before, still believe in the criminal system, the justice system.

00:06:07.480 He was acquitted of those charges.

00:06:10.460 Now, civilly, he was held liable for some civil lawsuits.

00:06:13.760 And I think if I remember correctly, and I think I saw that he owes upwards of $100 million to the survivors.

00:06:21.980 But criminally, he was acquitted.

00:06:23.880 So do you believe in the justice system or not?

00:06:25.840 So everybody's like, oh, he did it.

00:06:26.960 He did it.

00:06:27.320 He did it.

00:06:27.960 I don't know.

00:06:29.480 I have my ideas and my thoughts as to whether or not he did.

00:06:32.680 And full disclosure, I think he did kill those people.

00:06:37.740 But he was acquitted.

00:06:38.880 So do you believe in the justice system or not?

00:06:40.760 He was charged civilly, so I'll give you that.

00:06:45.240 But we need to make sure that we honor the justice system or fight to change it.

00:06:50.980 So you can't speak out of both sides of your mouth and say, hey, we really appreciate the justice system.

00:06:55.980 And on the other hand, say that, well, oh, you didn't mention the victims?

00:06:59.980 Well, he wasn't charged criminally for killing those two individuals.

00:07:04.000 So what are you talking about here?

00:07:09.440 Okay.

00:07:09.960 And then the fourth point, and I would love to hear your thoughts on this, is, and this just goes against what I just said.

00:07:15.320 I read a post the other day, maybe this morning or yesterday, and it was a juror, and I never saw this, but it was a juror.

00:07:25.800 The first time I saw it was today.

00:07:27.500 A juror who said that essentially what they said is the reason they acquitted criminally O.J. Simpson was to make amends for racial injustice, specifically Rodney King.

00:07:41.420 Rodney King was beaten by police officers, not killed, but beaten by police officers.

00:07:45.780 He died in 2012, but in 1991, very publicly was beaten by any objective standard unnecessarily, right?

00:07:58.060 We can all agree on that.

00:07:59.780 And that's what started the L.A. riots of 91.

00:08:02.260 And then in 95, O.J. Simpson was put on trial for killing his ex-wife and her current love life.

00:08:14.920 So this juror basically said, well, yeah, we all knew.

00:08:20.180 90% of the jurors knew and believed that he was guilty, but the reason that we acquitted him was to make up for the Rodney King beatings.

00:08:33.540 And the person who was interviewing this specific juror said, do you think that's right?

00:08:38.620 And her answer was this.

00:08:39.720 And for those of you who are just listening, she basically made the Y emoji, you know, with the hands up, like, doesn't really matter if it was right or wrong. 0.98

00:08:53.200 We were just getting back because he killed white people. 1.00

00:08:57.740 What an evil son of a bitch. 1.00

00:09:02.660 I'm so sick of the race thing. 1.00

00:09:05.300 Look, I'm not saying that injustices haven't taken place.

00:09:09.680 Rodney King was an injustice.

00:09:12.540 George Foreman, excuse me, George Floyd.

00:09:17.880 I don't know if it was an injustice necessarily, but I have my doubts about the decision that was made.

00:09:26.880 I guess we sound certain.

00:09:29.320 Yeah, exactly.

00:09:30.560 Absolutely.

00:09:31.460 He was doing what he was trained to do.

00:09:34.040 And you guys threw him.

00:09:35.880 And there's so much conflicting evidence.

00:09:38.660 Yeah.

00:09:38.880 And his department, state, and government threw him under the bus as the fall guy.

00:09:44.060 That's what happened.

00:09:44.740 Yeah.

00:09:46.020 Now, argue whether that's concerning or not.

00:09:50.080 Well, yeah, we can debate that.

00:09:51.560 Sure.

00:09:52.200 And I think that we can start making the case for jujitsu, right?

00:09:56.360 How do you subdue somebody without putting them at risk of death?

00:10:00.180 We ought to talk about that.

00:10:01.460 But there's another individual.

00:10:03.520 I can't remember his name right offhand.

00:10:05.240 And I might get slaughtered for just not remembering this guy's name. 0.91

00:10:08.420 But the big headline these days, in the last couple of days, is black man gets murdered, shot 96 times in 41 seconds. 0.92

00:10:17.800 Have you seen this, Kip?

00:10:18.980 Mm-mm.

00:10:19.820 96 times?

00:10:20.500 I got to find the guy.

00:10:22.240 96 times in 41 seconds.

00:10:25.280 But what most headlines fail to mention is that this individual shot his gun first 11 times at police officers and hit one in the wrist.

00:10:35.740 Like the shot count determines, like, a level of aggression?

00:10:40.740 It doesn't matter.

00:10:41.760 One shot kill, 96 kill, same.

00:10:45.280 I don't care if it was one or if it was 500.

00:10:48.160 If the guy is shooting at police officers, then he, depending on the situation, I'll give some nuance there.

00:10:54.520 Yeah.

00:10:54.700 Depending on the situation, he asked for it.

00:10:59.080 Yeah.

00:11:00.300 When the headlines are all, well, he got pulled over for not wearing a seatbelt.

00:11:04.460 Or no, what do they say?

00:11:06.500 I've seen two headlines. 0.95

00:11:07.960 One is, he died because he was black. 0.85

00:11:10.080 No, he died because he shot at police officers. 0.94

00:11:13.400 He died for a seatbelt violation.

00:11:17.840 No.

00:11:18.360 No, he died because he shot at police officers.

00:11:23.680 Nobody's going to get killed if they get pulled over for a seatbelt violation.

00:11:28.540 Black, white, purple, gay, straight, transgender.

00:11:31.320 Put your hands on the steering wheel and listen.

00:11:36.140 Now's not the time to debate and argue and just observe what the police officers are telling you and you're going to walk away.

00:11:43.240 Now, look, could you get wrongfully accused of doing something?

00:11:48.880 Yes, of course.

00:11:50.900 So, that's fine.

00:11:52.660 Like, but are you willing to die over it?

00:11:54.960 Look, I might get pulled over for speeding or maybe I look like somebody. 0.74

00:12:01.500 And if the police officer says, hey, get out of your vehicle, get on the ground, you know what I'm doing? 0.99

00:12:05.400 Getting my ass on the ground. 0.98

00:12:08.000 Putting my hands behind my head slowly. 0.99

00:12:10.600 Not putting my hands in my pocket.

00:12:11.780 I'm not arguing.

00:12:13.200 I'll have my day in the next 24 to 48 hours.

00:12:16.780 I'm not doing it today, though.

00:12:18.220 And you're definitely not pulling out a gun and pointing it at police officers.

00:12:22.120 That's for sure.

00:12:23.380 Right.

00:12:24.620 I'm just so sick of the narrative.

00:12:26.440 And look, I'm not here to tell you about the race stuff.

00:12:28.800 Like, I think there's – I think probably we're just – I don't know if we're just as, but we're definitely racially charged more than we were a decade ago.

00:12:36.900 Totally.

00:12:37.820 Totally.

00:12:38.400 And I think a lot of that –

00:12:40.060 Yeah, and I think a lot of that started with Obama using the race card, immutable characteristics, as a leveraging point to consolidate voters.

00:12:52.560 And it's just gone downhill from there, and it's unfortunate. 0.98

00:12:56.920 And I don't want to see black people die. 0.99

00:12:58.600 I don't want to see white people die unnecessarily. 0.99

00:13:00.500 I don't want to see any of that. 0.99

00:13:01.740 But let's stop with this nonsense.

00:13:06.300 Let's accurately report what's going on.

00:13:08.480 Anyways, this is a huge sidestep from the O.J. Simpson stuff.

00:13:12.120 But there are some serious race issues that we need to address, and a big part of that is just perpetuated. 0.97

00:13:19.540 Black people and white people in every race other than that are being played by politicians and legacy media.

00:13:27.560 And unless you're willing to acknowledge and recognize – you talked about this a couple of weeks ago – you're going to continue to get played, and white people are going to continue to get pitted against black people and vice versa. 0.98

00:13:38.460 And it's dangerous, it's disgusting, and it's immoral. 0.98

00:13:42.860 It's horrible.

00:13:43.380 And we need to come together.

00:13:45.640 And I think if more people reported accurately what's going on, not black man gets killed for not wearing a seatbelt, but man gets killed – black or white, doesn't matter – man gets killed for shooting at police officers. 0.53

00:13:59.780 That's the headline.

00:14:01.700 But we just don't report that.

00:14:04.020 They're just rallying people.

00:14:05.080 Anyways, there's my soapbox and my tangent and everything else.

00:14:09.700 I'm so frustrated with this stuff.

00:14:11.020 So let me ask you this.

00:14:12.300 I'll pick one of the many things that you mentioned, but I'm kind of curious about it.

00:14:17.700 I heard when you talked about the jury, the juror of what they said.

00:14:24.540 And I think we do this.

00:14:27.540 In fact, it goes against the Stoic philosophy, right, that we do what – we should do what is right to our conscience regardless of consequence.

00:14:36.840 And this is – that's a permanent example of maybe juries going, hey, you know what, we don't want to riot outside this courthouse because of the LA riots that just recently happened.

00:14:49.620 And we're going to make a decision, not because it's the right thing, not because we should have honor and integrity in our decision process, but because of the fear of the consequences of these actions.

00:15:03.240 Or we're going to try to dictate what may happen afterwards.

00:15:07.800 And we do it.

00:15:11.120 We do it politically, every political season.

00:15:14.160 What candidate are you going to choose for?

00:15:15.620 The right one in your conscience or the one because the natural consequences would be this.

00:15:24.320 And so it's not really who I think I should vote for.

00:15:27.300 It's not what I think I should do, but I'm going to do this anyway, right?

00:15:30.800 You talked about this with like fathers and trans boys and girls sports.

00:15:37.680 Well, I don't want to do that, but then my daughter won't be able to play. 0.97

00:15:42.180 Guys, this is – it's the very problem.

00:15:46.260 The very problem – the problem isn't the consequences.

00:15:49.040 The problem is that we're going against our integrity to try to control the consequences.

00:16:00.500 That's the problem.

00:16:01.240 But you know what?

00:16:01.760 The problem though, Kip, that people will say – and I agree with everything you're saying, trust me, but I want to play the other side for a minute.

00:16:08.880 The other side is people will say, well, I mean you might be right, Kip, but this is just the way it is.

00:16:19.500 So we have to play the game.

00:16:22.260 What do you say to that?

00:16:24.040 Well, and then I say you feel like you have to play the game because that's the very thing that everyone keeps doing is they're going against their own integrity to play the game.

00:16:33.720 And if we all just did what we knew what was right, there wasn't – there wouldn't be a game to be having to be played.

00:16:42.040 So where does it start?

00:16:43.300 You?

00:16:44.120 Oh, I'm going to wait.

00:16:44.920 You know what?

00:16:45.240 I'll do the right thing when everyone else is.

00:16:47.880 Really?

00:16:49.640 Or are you going to be able to look back at life at your day, at the decisions you made and said, you know what?

00:16:57.300 Regardless of the consequences, I'm going to live with myself and live with my decisions.

00:17:00.700 I agree.

00:17:06.240 I don't have anything else.

00:17:07.560 I'm just trying to play the other side.

00:17:09.020 I'm trying to think about what other people might think.

00:17:11.380 And we talked about this on a podcast a couple of weeks ago when all of society seems like it's falling apart.

00:17:17.900 Worry about your own personal society.

00:17:19.540 That starts with you, then the walls of your home, then your business and colleagues and coworkers.

00:17:25.280 And if you espouse these virtues, you can't instill it in people that live in Austin, Texas or Baltimore, Maryland or somewhere in Florida.

00:17:36.680 Like, that isn't yours to deal with.

00:17:40.760 What yours is to deal with is your kids, your wife, the people you work with, your neighbors.

00:17:47.780 And then and only then can we begin to expand our reach outwards.

00:17:51.700 Totally.

00:17:52.440 And I don't want to come across like we say this often.

00:17:57.520 We're not perfect.

00:17:59.180 You don't think that stuff crosses my mind?

00:18:01.120 Of course.

00:18:03.820 Absolutely.

00:18:04.520 This isn't about perfection.

00:18:06.800 It's about commitment.

00:18:08.700 Do I know what I should be doing?

00:18:10.040 Absolutely.

00:18:10.720 Do I mess up?

00:18:11.480 Absolutely.

00:18:12.920 Or do I get back on the path?

00:18:14.240 And it's about getting back on the path where we're out of integrity.

00:18:18.340 It's not about perfection.

00:18:20.240 And so anyone listening might be like, oh, these guys think they're all high.

00:18:23.200 No, actually, dude, I get it.

00:18:25.900 I totally get it.

00:18:26.640 You don't think I would be struggling with that decision of pulling my girl out of sports

00:18:31.560 and possibly, you know, disrupting her possibility of, you know, getting a college scholarship

00:18:36.980 because I want to take a stance.

00:18:38.820 You don't think that's hard?

00:18:40.360 Absolutely.

00:18:40.840 It would be hard.

00:18:42.600 Absolutely.

00:18:43.580 But it doesn't mean anything that we're saying is not right.

00:18:47.660 Or another example, Kip, is if you're a politician, you run the risk of not being reelected

00:18:55.200 if you say the wrong thing, but you stand for truth, you're not in a position of authority

00:18:59.340 and lose your influence.

00:19:01.360 That's your livelihood.

00:19:02.660 And I think there's smart ways to do it, you know, and I'm not saying don't be tactful

00:19:06.940 about it, but I think virtue comes first.

00:19:09.420 There's another element of it, Kip, too, is faith.

00:19:13.700 It's faith.

00:19:15.640 When you go to the gym, let's look at it on a micro.

00:19:17.960 Let's take another example, not politics or any of this social stuff.

00:19:21.020 When you go to the gym, if I go to the gym every day this week for the next five days,

00:19:26.020 am I going to see results?

00:19:27.660 I mean, I might lose three, four, five pounds, right?

00:19:31.120 Am I going to look jacked in the mirror?

00:19:33.280 No, not really.

00:19:35.740 It's going to take months before I start to see that.

00:19:39.080 It's going to take even longer before other people start to see it.

00:19:43.300 But so why do we do it?

00:19:44.760 Because you have faith that you're doing the right work and that over the long term,

00:19:51.180 it will produce the inevitable and desired result.

00:19:53.680 And how do you have faith?

00:19:54.640 Well, you look at what other people have produced.

00:19:57.080 You have good people, virtuous, righteous, strong, fit people in your corner who have said,

00:20:02.060 hey, trust me, I've been in your shoes.

00:20:04.620 It doesn't feel like you're moving the needle, but I assure you, you are.

00:20:08.320 Because you look at the guy and he's jacked.

00:20:10.640 Okay, well, that guy says to do it.

00:20:12.120 So I want to be like that guy.

00:20:13.180 So I guess I'll keep doing it.

00:20:14.920 But faith, guys, and doing the right thing for the right reasons,

00:20:19.020 knowing that it may not work out today,

00:20:20.720 but it will definitely work out over a long and sustained period of time.

00:20:26.160 Totally.

00:20:27.180 Well, and sometimes you're not going to get the results.

00:20:33.340 Sometimes, and maybe most of the time, the results are not going to pan out.

00:20:37.060 And maybe, just maybe, the benefit of doing what was right is found in the man that you became.

00:20:48.520 Or the legacy that you left.

00:20:50.960 Yeah.

00:20:51.200 Like, how many guys do we know of, you know, think about Jesus Christ.

00:20:57.760 He died at, what, 32, 33 years old?

00:21:00.020 He was murdered.

00:21:01.280 Yeah.

00:21:01.560 And by the way, statistically, you look at it logically, that didn't work out well.

00:21:07.980 Not for him.

00:21:09.240 Yeah.

00:21:09.720 In fact, it didn't really work out well, dude.

00:21:11.480 Like, you died fairly quick.

00:21:13.940 You know, you had some long life.

00:21:15.460 You could have had better authority.

00:21:17.600 There's a lot of stuff that could have, those circumstances should have turned out a lot better.

00:21:22.640 Yeah.

00:21:22.900 And it didn't, but then you started to think about his legacy.

00:21:28.660 Amazing.

00:21:29.780 Millions, hundreds of millions, billions, literally, of people served through his life message at 32 years old.

00:21:38.600 Something to consider.

00:21:40.640 I saw a post on Instagram that said something like, I'm paraphrasing and I'm going to butcher it,

00:21:46.540 but, you know, weak men worry about themselves, strong men worry about others, the best men worry about their legacy.

00:21:57.840 It's pretty interesting.

00:21:59.240 I like legacy.

00:21:59.900 It's interesting.

00:22:00.620 Yeah.

00:22:00.840 Talk a little bit deeper on that one.

00:22:02.500 We got a soundbite.

00:22:04.620 Yeah.

00:22:05.820 All right, brother.

00:22:06.620 Well, we spent a half an hour talking about OJ Simpson and the like.

00:22:10.320 Let's talk about some questions.

00:22:12.040 Yeah.

00:22:12.260 And by the way, that wasn't the thing I tagged.

00:22:14.420 I actually tagged something else is related to OJ Simpson.

00:22:17.300 All right, well, you can share yours on Monday then in a week and a half from now.

00:22:21.600 A week and a half.

00:22:22.800 All right.

00:22:23.560 First question from the gram.

00:22:25.400 We're filled in some questions from the Instagram.

00:22:27.960 You can join Mr. Mickler on Instagram at Ryan Mickler.

00:22:31.260 That's M-I-C-H-L-E-R on the last name.

00:22:33.980 Chris Babbert.

00:22:34.840 By the way, Kip, we didn't talk about this.

00:22:36.920 I want you to ask every question.

00:22:38.500 There's some comfortable and some uncomfortable questions.

00:22:41.000 I want you to ask every single one.

00:22:42.760 I'm ready to talk about them all.

00:22:43.840 Duly noted or someone follow Hop Online and throw in some tough ones.

00:22:49.940 Yeah, that's right.

00:22:50.900 All right.

00:22:51.400 Chris, how did you know you were being called to do what you are doing?

00:22:57.280 I didn't know.

00:23:00.020 I didn't know.

00:23:01.220 I know now, but it required me taking action first.

00:23:05.180 And that's one thing that we talk quite often about is you don't get to see the summit till you get to the top.

00:23:11.800 And sometimes we get to what we think is the top and it's a false summit and we have to keep going.

00:23:18.120 So this is where the previous conversation came in faith, faith, faith that you're doing the right thing, faith that you're moving.

00:23:26.240 I think also lowering expectations.

00:23:28.720 When I started Order of Man in 2015, I didn't have any expectation of what it would turn into today.

00:23:33.520 To today, I just thought it would be a really cool and fun thing to do.

00:23:38.240 And I planted my flag for two years.

00:23:40.440 I said, I'm going to do this for two years before I make any decision as to whether or not I'm going to continue to do it or throw in the towel.

00:23:46.680 And I knew quickly.

00:23:47.540 I knew within months, like, this is it.

00:23:49.900 This is what I want to do.

00:23:51.080 So I didn't know, and you will not know either.

00:23:55.380 You don't get the key to whatever it is you're after until you do it and you prove to yourself that you can do it.

00:24:03.720 I also believe this, and this is a spiritual perspective, that because it's based on Jesus' story of the parable of the talents,

00:24:13.180 that in order for you to have more, you have to prove that you can do good with what you currently have.

00:24:18.300 So a lot of people will say, well, you know, I'd like to have more money.

00:24:21.740 Well, you don't deserve more money because if you did deserve it, you'd already have it.

00:24:26.120 So prove to me that you can do good.

00:24:28.340 A lot of people will say, well, yeah, if I had a million dollars, of course.

00:24:33.680 No, not of course. 0.96

00:24:35.300 You'd be in the same damn position you are today because that's what you've earned. 0.98

00:24:39.120 I see men, grown men, mocking successful people. 0.99

00:24:44.020 Yeah, if I went on Joe Rogan, you know, then I would be, no.

00:24:49.260 You wouldn't because you didn't earn that right.

00:24:52.720 Well, yeah, if I had a good woman, yeah, if only, man, if I had a wife like yours, well, then my marriage would be great.

00:25:00.060 No, it wouldn't because you would destroy it the same way you destroyed your current one.

00:25:05.000 And I'm talking about myself.

00:25:06.820 What behaviors change?

00:25:08.960 You get what you deserve.

00:25:10.620 If you want more in life, then you have to prove, and I don't care if this is secular or spiritual, you have to prove, and I'm just going to talk about it from a spiritual perspective.

00:25:22.200 I have to show my God that, hey, you gave me these blessings, and I'm going to use them for the betterment of myself and the people around me to the maximum that I can.

00:25:33.020 And when he sees that, he says, okay, Ryan, yeah, I see that you believe in what you're, believe in this.

00:25:40.060 You believe in what you're saying.

00:25:41.360 You believe in me.

00:25:42.340 And so here's a little more for you.

00:25:44.440 Let's see what you do now.

00:25:47.700 And then I take more, and I say, okay, here's what I'm going to do, and I continue to serve and grow and expand and build and lead other people.

00:25:54.920 And God says, all right, you passed the next grade.

00:25:59.380 You passed 201.

00:26:00.680 Let's see what you can do with 301.

00:26:03.780 And I'll have to keep playing 301 until I pass it.

00:26:07.500 That's how I look at it.

00:26:09.340 You said fun.

00:26:10.540 I would assume that you might say something different if you gave some thought to it.

00:26:19.580 Was it fun or was it something that you were passionate about, you felt moved to, you saw it?

00:26:26.480 I think I'm assuming it had to be more than a fun idea.

00:26:32.200 Yeah, I mean, fun's going to the beach on Saturday and enjoying your time with your family and friends and people you love.

00:26:37.720 So maybe I misspoke there.

00:26:39.400 Yeah, something you're passionate about or kind of moved you or you saw as an issue.

00:26:44.120 I don't even know if passionate is required.

00:26:46.820 I was fascinated by.

00:26:48.880 I was interested.

00:26:52.500 Okay.

00:26:52.980 That's it.

00:26:53.900 I was just interested.

00:26:55.160 Like, this is interesting.

00:26:56.580 Had a cool conversation with so-and-so.

00:26:58.440 That was interesting.

00:26:59.140 I think I'll do that again.

00:27:00.640 I wasn't passionate about it.

00:27:02.980 I am now.

00:27:04.380 Yeah.

00:27:04.600 But when I started, I was just interested.

00:27:06.560 Just interested.

00:27:07.140 That's it.

00:27:07.420 That's all it takes.

00:27:08.120 Yeah.

00:27:09.400 Kip, when you started jiu-jitsu, were you passionate about it?

00:27:13.480 No.

00:27:14.140 I wasn't.

00:27:15.000 Are you passionate about it today?

00:27:16.340 Would you say, are you passionate?

00:27:17.820 Absolutely.

00:27:19.920 You weren't passionate about it when you started, so why weren't you passionate then?

00:27:23.660 Because you didn't know anything about it, but were you interested?

00:27:26.120 Yeah.

00:27:26.360 Were you intrigued?

00:27:28.960 Curious?

00:27:29.820 Curious.

00:27:30.320 Yeah.

00:27:31.520 Yeah.

00:27:32.460 I think that's what's required.

00:27:34.260 Yeah.

00:27:34.880 I like it.

00:27:36.220 All right.

00:27:36.960 CWS, triple B.

00:27:40.180 Why are Toyotas not an American car?

00:27:42.760 You started this, by the way.

00:27:44.040 I start, I didn't start anything.

00:27:47.240 People blew this out of the water, man.

00:27:49.120 I don't even put that on me.

00:27:51.380 That's not what he asked, though.

00:27:52.760 What did he ask?

00:27:53.680 No, that's what he asked.

00:27:54.840 He says, why Toyotas are not an American, he said, why Toyotas and not American car, but

00:28:01.200 I'm assuming he meant, are not an American car.

00:28:04.420 Like, why aren't they?

00:28:05.060 No, he's saying, no, no, what he's saying is, why did you buy a Toyota and not an American

00:28:10.800 car?

00:28:11.800 Oh, I see.

00:28:12.900 I thought he was saying, why aren't Toyotas American cars?

00:28:15.220 I was thinking he was going positive with you here.

00:28:18.240 I didn't realize he was pushing back on you.

00:28:20.220 All right, here we go.

00:28:21.200 No.

00:28:21.480 This is that tough question Ryan wanted to make sure we covered.

00:28:24.740 This is one of them.

00:28:26.100 I did some research.

00:28:27.380 First of all, I made a post on Instagram several days ago, and I said, hey, you know, here's

00:28:33.960 my 99 Toyota Tacoma, and I'm excited about it or whatever.

00:28:37.120 And like, if you're a Toyota owner, tell me what you're making.

00:28:40.440 You're part of the call.

00:28:41.060 Trucks only.

00:28:42.160 Yeah.

00:28:42.600 I said, trucks only.

00:28:43.700 I don't care about your Camry or your any.

00:28:48.400 I don't care about any.

00:28:49.380 I can't even name any names because I don't care about all that other stuff.

00:28:52.240 I care about trucks, Toyota trucks.

00:28:53.900 And, dude, this post is hilarious.

00:28:58.140 Guys, guys like him were like, oh, I can't buy American.

00:29:01.980 Oh, my goodness.

00:29:03.640 And then three or four people started debating.

00:29:07.480 I don't even know how they got there.

00:29:09.080 You guys can go look at the post on Instagram about gay and transgender rights.

00:29:13.480 I'm like, what?

00:29:14.040 How did you a Toyotas?

00:29:16.600 I don't know.

00:29:17.860 I don't know how it turned into that, but it did.

00:29:19.800 They just assumed that you would care about it since you drove a Toyota and not a Ford.

00:29:25.760 I don't know if driving a Toyota makes you gay or straight or a Ford makes you gay or straight.

00:29:30.460 I don't know.

00:29:30.900 That's subject to interpretation.

00:29:32.600 But apparently that's where they wanted to go with the discussion.

00:29:35.620 Holy cow. 0.89

00:29:36.760 Like, wait, how did we go from here's my truck to transgender rights? 0.99

00:29:42.500 People will argue about anything.

00:29:43.780 All right.

00:29:44.280 So I did some research.

00:29:46.380 I wanted to come prepared.

00:29:47.640 Here's what I found out.

00:29:51.440 Most Toyotas are actually made in the U.S.

00:29:53.900 Some are made in Mexico.

00:29:55.260 A smaller percentage of Tacomas.

00:29:57.740 I'm talking about trucks because I think some of the Camrys and things like that are made outside the States.

00:30:02.220 Because they have them in Japan and Asia, the cars.

00:30:05.460 But they probably don't even produce trucks over there.

00:30:08.360 Yeah.

00:30:09.280 There's like a Hilux, which is like the preferred truck of Middle East terrorists. 1.00

00:30:15.680 So we can talk about that for, you know, another conversation, which I have extensive knowledge about.

00:30:23.320 But beside the point, most pickups are made in the U.S. or Mexico.

00:30:28.540 So you can look at the VIN and you can say based on the VIN.

00:30:31.200 And I, again, I did research. 0.99

00:30:33.020 So I'm not speaking out of my ass here. 0.99

00:30:34.640 No, I'm impressed. 0.99

00:30:35.280 If your VIN number is a 1, a 4, or a 5, it was built in America, manufactured in America. 0.58

00:30:42.200 If your VIN starts with a 3, it was likely manufactured in Mexico.

00:30:46.380 So if you guys are Toyota owners and you want to go take a look, then have a look.

00:30:50.480 My truck starts, the VIN starts with a 4.

00:30:54.200 So it's manufactured in America.

00:30:56.600 So here we go.

00:30:57.540 It's a 99 Toyota Tacoma.

00:30:58.100 Future decals at the Order of Man store, store.orderofman.com, made in America decals that you can purchase and throw in your Toyota.

00:31:08.940 And then if it happens to be –

00:31:10.280 Tacoma.

00:31:10.900 Tacoma.

00:31:11.900 If it happens to be made in Mexico, you just put an S, made in the Americas, and then you're solid. 0.97

00:31:19.940 No, you don't do that.

00:31:22.080 What happens if you – if I see one of those stickers and I go look at your VIN and I see that it's a 3, then I burn your truck to the ground.

00:31:30.180 That's what happens.

00:31:31.160 There you go.

00:31:34.100 So, okay, that's how you look at VIN numbers.

00:31:37.300 So, yeah, my truck was likely assembled in – and I don't know, but, again, I did a little bit of research – Fremont, California,

00:31:44.760 which most of the production now is done in Texas, not Fremont.

00:31:49.540 I actually looked at the door jam, the driver's side door jam, and this will confirm that my truck was indeed manufactured in California.

00:31:59.560 And that could have either been Fremont or Long Beach because there's a – oh, did I write this down?

00:32:06.800 No, I didn't write this down.

00:32:08.760 I looked at the facility.

00:32:10.260 Gosh, I should have wrote this down.

00:32:11.320 There's a facility.

00:32:12.340 It's called – I think it's called TBAC Incorporated, T-A-B-C or TBAC, and that is a Toyota facility in Long Beach, California.

00:32:22.780 So I'm giving you the facts here.

00:32:26.840 That's – okay, so that's where the Tacoma was made.

00:32:30.500 So when you say why Toyota not American-made, well, it is American-made.

00:32:35.480 But also –

00:32:36.800 Take it in, too.

00:32:37.140 Yeah, I own a 2015 GMC, which it was manufactured in – also manufactured in America, in Fort Wayne, Indiana.

00:32:49.900 And I own a 1976 International Harvester, also manufactured in America.

00:32:58.700 Mic drop.

00:33:00.120 Yeah.

00:33:00.980 Three vehicles all manufactured in America.

00:33:02.120 Ford is probably manufactured in –

00:33:05.120 I don't know.

00:33:06.880 In China.

00:33:07.220 I don't like Fords.

00:33:07.720 I don't like Fords in China.

00:33:10.360 No, whatever.

00:33:11.060 I don't really get into that.

00:33:12.520 I actually like the fight more than I care about whether you drive a Ford or Chevy or Toyota or whatever else.

00:33:17.980 I just like to banter back and forth.

00:33:20.080 Yeah, those are –

00:33:20.760 If you're a Ford guy, whatever.

00:33:23.560 I don't care.

00:33:24.860 Do your thing.

00:33:26.380 I love it.

00:33:27.300 I love it.

00:33:27.800 All right, Alex Gibbs 8, how would you go about trying to help a kid, 19, who's already in a program for at-risk youth, who you just quantified his current problem is he's blowing his 3K a month social security check on OnlyFans, video games, and Uber Eats.

00:33:49.900 Why would you have a social security check at 19?

00:33:53.800 Your parents' diet is all I can really consider, or you're disabled. 1.00

00:33:59.500 Okay.

00:34:00.300 He's got –

00:34:00.920 That seems really high though.

00:34:03.380 I can't imagine receiving social security benefits for disability or death of either your father and or your mom being that high.

00:34:11.840 So I think –

00:34:12.460 Yeah.

00:34:13.200 I have some questions there, but that's where social security benefits would come from.

00:34:16.540 Okay.

00:34:17.280 He's gotten into a program that he has rent covered for the next year, but he will be responsible for half the rent the following year before being responsible for the whole thing the following year.

00:34:27.620 So how do we go about trying to help this 19-year-old boy, man, youth?

00:34:33.520 I wish I had a better answer for you, but the reality is that you can only help some people to the degree they want to be helped.

00:34:43.400 It sucks, man, to see a 19-year-old kid you care about.

00:34:47.260 I don't know if this is a nephew or an acquaintance or a friend's son or – I don't know if the relationship is here, but this is really, really hard to see people go down this route. 0.95

00:34:56.240 The only thing I would suggest to you is invite this individual into your circle, okay? 0.96

00:35:02.760 I don't go into other people's circles who – let me think about the way to say this so it doesn't come across as condescending or an asshole, frankly. 0.68

00:35:15.060 But I don't go into circles that I don't belong. 0.93

00:35:19.760 Down, I mean.

00:35:21.240 And I'm not talking about the worth of human beings.

00:35:22.840 I'm saying I don't go put myself in unnecessary situations.

00:35:26.940 I push myself into circles I don't belong if it's up the chain of command, but I don't do it down.

00:35:32.460 Now, that's not to say that I won't invite those people into my life.

00:35:37.960 For example, my second son, he's got some friends here.

00:35:42.600 I'm not going to go hang out with my son's friends.

00:35:46.080 It isn't my place, and it doesn't serve me well.

00:35:49.620 But I would love to have them here.

00:35:51.180 In fact, a couple of them came over today, and they were playing basketball.

00:35:55.720 I said, hey, boys.

00:35:56.400 And one of them said, hey, what's this shirt right here?

00:35:58.220 I said, oh, these are shirts that I offer throughout my business.

00:36:00.440 Why don't you guys pick either a shirt or a hat?

00:36:03.540 So I gave them – they both picked out a shirt out of eight or nine shirts they liked.

00:36:07.140 They both liked one, and I said, great.

00:36:08.880 You can have that one right there.

00:36:10.200 And that gave me an opportunity to share what we're doing because they asked.

00:36:13.400 They're like, what is this?

00:36:14.080 You sell clothes?

00:36:15.460 I said, that's part of what we do, but here's what else we do.

00:36:17.540 And it gave me an opportunity to share, but they are in my circle.

00:36:21.920 I'm not in their circle.

00:36:23.760 We don't ever step down and get dirty in the mud with people that we shouldn't be getting dirty with.

00:36:29.200 We invite them to our circle to lift them out of the mud. 1.00

00:36:33.720 So all you can do with this young man who's 19 years old is invite him to go to the game.

00:36:40.180 Invite him to go sign up for the Spartan race you signed up for.

00:36:43.600 Invite to bring him maybe to work one day and say, hey, I'm going to work today,

00:36:47.420 and I thought I'd pick you up, and we'll go to lunch and spend a couple hours.

00:36:52.180 I kind of show you what I do.

00:36:53.660 Invite him into your circle and give him an opportunity to get out of his current environment.

00:37:01.100 Don't go meet him there.

00:37:02.020 That doesn't serve him because he's already familiar with that one.

00:37:05.380 Show him something he's not acquainted with.

00:37:08.020 And we do that by extracting them from the environment, showing them what is possible,

00:37:12.560 and then allowing them to make their decisions.

00:37:15.560 As a 19-year-old man, his brain's not fully developed, and I'm not saying that as a slight.

00:37:21.420 That's accurate, factual, scientific.

00:37:23.900 His brain is not fully developed, but he is considered an adult, and he gets to make those decisions.

00:37:29.240 So influence him by bringing him into your circle, not by going into his.

00:37:34.320 Totally.

00:37:34.760 I think it's important that we know that we can impact people, we can inspire people, we can motivate people.

00:37:42.420 There's things we can do, but we have to always remember the analogy that you used earlier about sometimes I have to earn it.

00:37:54.640 But I'm not going to be ready for things until I'm able to handle them.

00:37:59.660 And the reason why that's so important for us to remember is because often we get this a lot where guys will have this,

00:38:08.460 hey, I've been helping this guy for a while, and he hasn't changed yet, Ryan.

00:38:13.620 And they're disenfranchised with it.

00:38:16.080 Part of that is you think that them doing what you want them to do is the answer.

00:38:23.280 It's not the answer.

00:38:25.000 The answer is them doing what they want to do, not what you want them to do.

00:38:31.840 Which means they, we have to honor agency and freedom as part of the growth process.

00:38:40.920 There's no growth in me doing something out of command and control or me trying to appease you.

00:38:47.400 Just like there's not beneficial for, oh, my wife does these really nice things because if I don't, 1.00

00:38:52.300 I'll stonewall the shit out of her and I'll make her life miserable. 1.00

00:38:54.960 Oh, no, we honor agency and freedom always. 0.99

00:39:01.800 And so just be mindful of that.

00:39:03.540 So then that way, if he doesn't change, if he's not doing the things, realize this is part of the condition.

00:39:09.700 It has to be on their terms for it to be sticky and impactful, not yours.

00:39:15.760 Yeah, yeah.

00:39:17.400 I think too often, to your point, we take on things that aren't ours to take on.

00:39:21.500 And to share maybe an example, and I'm not saying this is true, by the way.

00:39:26.480 So, Mrs. Sorensen, if you're listening to this, this is not true.

00:39:29.800 But if I knew Kip was stepping out on you, I would call you out on it, Kip. 0.94

00:39:35.920 I'd be like, what the hell is your problem, man?

00:39:38.240 Like, you've got this wife who loves you.

00:39:40.260 She's an amazing woman.

00:39:41.320 You guys got kids together.

00:39:42.620 You made a commitment.

00:39:44.220 What are you doing?

00:39:46.140 What is your problem?

00:39:48.340 And also, that's your problem.

00:39:51.500 I don't own that.

00:39:52.760 I didn't make that decision.

00:39:55.420 I don't owe you or anybody else or even her anything.

00:39:59.840 But because I love and care about you, I'm going to hold you to task and say, what is your problem?

00:40:05.460 What are you doing?

00:40:06.360 How can I help you?

00:40:07.200 How can I serve you?

00:40:08.280 Let's correct this.

00:40:09.300 Let's fix this.

00:40:10.720 But ultimately, to your point, it's your decision to make.

00:40:14.480 All I can do is go as far as I can go and then allow you to make the decision, just like you would want anybody to allow you to make your own decisions in life.

00:40:23.300 So it's not what other people do with their lives is not my issue.

00:40:27.740 The only issues that I have are my children.

00:40:32.080 Well, yeah.

00:40:33.120 Those are the only – because my kids are kids, I'm responsible for them. 0.96

00:40:38.980 So if one of my kids does something dumb, that's my problem. 0.55

00:40:43.980 Yeah. 0.99

00:40:44.460 You're the world.

00:40:45.120 But outside of that –

00:40:45.960 Yeah.

00:40:46.220 And I would even suggest once they hit adulthood, that's no longer even my problem.

00:40:54.360 Now, we're going to get involved as fathers, right? 0.93

00:40:56.940 If one of your kids does something dumb and he or she is 22 years old, if one of my kids did something dumb and got arrested, I would fight for my child. 0.98

00:41:06.100 Of course. 0.99

00:41:07.600 Of course I would do that.

00:41:08.540 But it's still their decision to make, and we have to allow people to do that.

00:41:13.000 And the reason why the kids are so irresponsible is because you're their world to form consequence and learning opportunities.

00:41:23.220 Once you're an adult, guess who creates learning opportunities for you?

00:41:26.880 The world.

00:41:28.160 The world.

00:41:29.180 Yeah.

00:41:29.620 Everybody else.

00:41:31.120 Well, that's a good point.

00:41:32.900 We create a false version of that for our children to prep them.

00:41:36.880 But once you're an adult, it's the world now teaching you the lesson.

00:41:40.660 No longer not.

00:41:41.520 A false set of circumstances.

00:41:44.320 I agree with that.

00:41:45.300 I use the term in controlled environments is the term I use.

00:41:50.180 But it's the same concept, right?

00:41:52.200 It's allow them to – it's the same reason why if they don't do the dishes, then they don't get to play video games or they're grounded.

00:42:01.000 Or, you know, if they misuse their phone or they come home late, then, okay, well, then you can't go out this weekend with your buddies because you came home late.

00:42:11.380 Like, this is the consequence.

00:42:13.260 We have to introduce them to those consequences.

00:42:15.460 Yeah.

00:42:16.460 Jay Hiller 7.

00:42:19.460 Have you ever thought about expanding the order of man to other languages?

00:42:22.680 Keep up the good work.

00:42:23.500 Yes.

00:42:26.920 Next question.

00:42:28.460 No, I – I don't know how to do that.

00:42:32.140 I only speak English, so I don't know how to do that.

00:42:34.860 So if you guys have thoughts on what that might look like, let me know.

00:42:39.140 We'll talk about it because we want to impact the world.

00:42:41.520 So we would definitely expand to Australia, places in Europe.

00:42:47.340 Oh, wait.

00:42:47.700 They all speak English.

00:42:48.580 Okay.

00:42:48.920 Well, no.

00:42:51.080 I'm open to it.

00:42:52.580 You just – yeah.

00:42:53.600 Well, they speak English, not American. 0.65

00:42:55.380 There's a difference.

00:42:57.720 Not Monroeian or Parowanian or however you would say that.

00:43:02.600 I don't even know how you'd say that.

00:43:06.360 All right.

00:43:07.280 But yes, if you have ideas, let me know.

00:43:09.680 All ears.

00:43:10.120 Benjamin Allen Brown, this question – Brian Littlefield or Pete will appreciate this one.

00:43:18.480 I have recently started my jiu-jitsu journey two months in.

00:43:21.480 Congratulations, Ben.

00:43:22.900 I love Origin and I really want to order one of their gis.

00:43:26.600 Do you think it would – I'll get a hard time being so new wearing such an elite gi? 0.96

00:43:36.660 No.

00:43:38.220 No.

00:43:38.780 I have a couple of thoughts on this.

00:43:41.360 I did see this question.

00:43:42.880 No, you won't get a hard time.

00:43:45.360 Most likely, if anybody says anything at all, they'll say, oh, that's a sweet gi.

00:43:50.680 Like your upper belts will be like, dude, that's a rad gi. 0.98

00:43:53.760 Yeah.

00:43:54.580 Because they'll know.

00:43:55.520 That's Origin and they'll know that that – based on the way it looks and fits and they'll know like this is a really nice gi.

00:44:01.620 So that's what you'll probably get from your upper belts.

00:44:04.020 No one's –

00:44:04.720 Most people won't say anything.

00:44:05.900 No one's saying you're a poser.

00:44:07.500 No.

00:44:08.400 But there is one thing I would say.

00:44:11.980 Correct me if I'm wrong on this, Kip. 0.65

00:44:13.300 So I have about seven or eight Origin gis myself, one for every day of the week.

00:44:19.600 And when I – I had no problem wearing any of those gis. 0.96

00:44:22.700 I've got white, blue, and black gis.

00:44:24.660 I had no problem wearing any of those gis when I was training with the Origin guys because I was wearing Origin.

00:44:30.140 That was fine.

00:44:31.340 But when I came back to southern Utah, I called Ace and I said, hey, man, like I'm coming back to train.

00:44:37.100 And I said two things.

00:44:38.600 I'm a blue belt.

00:44:39.920 I said, hey, do you want me to put my white belt on?

00:44:43.000 That was question number one because I'm at your school and you didn't give me my blue belt.

00:44:48.640 So would you like me to wear my white belt?

00:44:50.760 And he said, no, wear your blue belt because I know your lineage and that's a legit blue belt.

00:44:56.300 Wear your blue belt.

00:44:56.880 The other question I asked him is I said, I have these gis as a blue belt.

00:45:03.460 Do you want me to wear only white or is it acceptable to wear blue or black?

00:45:08.040 And he said, no, you can wear whatever you want.

00:45:09.880 But some schools will require you to wear only white, for example.

00:45:14.760 So based on your school and the culture, be respectful of that.

00:45:19.460 I was at lacrosse, my oldest son's lacrosse game last night.

00:45:23.820 And at the end of the game, they go on each side of the field and then they meet in the middle and they shake hands just like you would do any sport in high school.

00:45:31.960 But the goalie always goes first.

00:45:34.680 And I thought, well, why is that? 0.99

00:45:35.980 That's dumb. 0.97

00:45:36.840 Like why does the goalie need to go first? 0.99

00:45:38.580 It doesn't matter.

00:45:40.360 That's the tradition.

00:45:41.760 So if you're going to play the game, then you need to honor the culture and the tradition.

00:45:45.980 So depending on your school, just honor the school and figure out if they have any guidelines on what color of gi you can wear as a white belt.

00:45:54.020 Anything you would add to that, Kip?

00:45:55.640 No.

00:45:56.080 There was a stigma years ago that if you're a white belt wearing a black gi, you would get thrown shade for wearing a black gi.

00:46:06.520 But I think it's almost gone.

00:46:08.980 I think most schools.

00:46:11.680 But I love, it says a lot about you as an individual to call up ace and say, hey, am I good wearing my blue or should I be wearing my white?

00:46:20.680 Because it says a lot.

00:46:22.280 And there's value in it that we may not even realize.

00:46:25.220 Maybe that's the theme of this a little bit is that false horizon, that false ridge.

00:46:29.980 Because often if we said that, let's say someone calls the school and they're like, yeah, don't wear a blackie.

00:46:37.480 You have two choices. 1.00

00:46:38.660 You can look at that and go, well, I just made you stupid. 1.00

00:46:41.560 Or you could say, oh, maybe there's a reason for it. 1.00

00:46:44.420 Oh, wait.

00:46:45.660 Higher belts only wear those.

00:46:47.200 Okay.

00:46:47.440 Now I have some target.

00:46:48.900 Maybe it's meaningful.

00:46:50.360 Oh, I'm part of this tribe that says that means something.

00:46:53.700 Is that bad?

00:46:55.200 No.

00:46:55.800 No, it's great.

00:46:56.680 It's beautiful.

00:46:57.640 Yeah.

00:46:57.920 So don't immediately jump to throwing shade just because there's some traditions.

00:47:04.740 They're there for a reason in most cases.

00:47:06.840 I love their tradition because when you earn your black gi or your black belt, you're going to feel really proud of that because you earned it.

00:47:14.620 Yeah.

00:47:14.880 You know, like –

00:47:16.080 Go ahead.

00:47:17.360 I was just going to add.

00:47:19.260 This has been crossing my mind, right?

00:47:21.160 Because Koa is five.

00:47:24.260 You know, he's going to have his gray-white belt probably in about – he counts 19 more classes.

00:47:30.820 He knows when he gets out of their belt.

00:47:34.160 And he only has one gi.

00:47:36.560 And I'll be honest.

00:47:38.060 He wears it after class because he wants to wear it.

00:47:40.380 And then he gets it dirty.

00:47:41.240 And then I have to, like, wash this thing, like, within a day.

00:47:43.480 And I'm like, oh, my God.

00:47:44.220 I need to get another gi.

00:47:45.720 Right?

00:47:46.080 But it's been crossing my mind.

00:47:47.440 Like, okay, maybe when you get a belt, that new belt, I'll get you a new gi.

00:47:52.580 And maybe when you get, like, a yellow belt, I'll get you a blue gi.

00:47:57.720 Right?

00:47:58.040 So I'm already, like, trying to, like, plan what this might look like for him.

00:48:01.880 So there's some pride in what he's wearing and it adds meaning versus, oh, he just jumped the line and he can have whatever new gi all he wants.

00:48:12.040 It's like, no, man.

00:48:12.860 Like, make it mean something.

00:48:15.140 I love tradition, man.

00:48:16.640 I think in modern Western culture, we rebuke and dismiss tradition because of our individualism.

00:48:30.520 I mean, this country was founded on rugged individualism.

00:48:34.200 That you as the only person are the dictator of your life.

00:48:39.340 And I see the value in that, of course.

00:48:41.680 I'm an individual.

00:48:43.380 I would rather reinvent the wheel than do it your way if I'm being honest.

00:48:48.240 But I also see the value in tradition.

00:48:51.040 And if I'm going to tap into a system, whether it's martial arts or an employer or some other sort of, you know, civil institution, then I'm going to honor the tradition.

00:49:01.620 There's probably a reason that it's a tradition.

00:49:04.500 And rather than buck the system at any given opportunity because you think you're so great as an individual, think about how you could become better because you're part of the whole.

00:49:13.880 And so if I'm going to go train at a studio, it's not no longer me as an individual.

00:49:18.540 Yes, individually, I want to improve.

00:49:20.720 But I'm part of the gang now.

00:49:23.380 I'm part of the tribe.

00:49:24.580 And there's a hierarchy.

00:49:27.700 And those guys, man, a couple of weeks ago I went and trained and I was training with this guy.

00:49:33.020 And I've always been a little intimidated by him.

00:49:34.880 I've never trained with him.

00:49:35.700 But he's big and he's strong and he's fit and he's a brown belt.

00:49:38.200 And I kind of bumped into him.

00:49:40.120 I was trying not to make eye contact with him.

00:49:42.200 And I did at the wrong time.

00:49:43.900 And he's like, hey, let's train.

00:49:45.720 He's looking for a role and you looked at him and you're like, oh, look away. 0.99

00:49:48.120 And I was honored to get my ass kicked by him because that's their tradition. 0.99

00:49:54.520 Like he's earned it. 0.99

00:49:57.380 And so it's part of the deal if you want to be around other men.

00:50:01.700 Earn your stripes, as we would say, and feel proud when you do and be aspirational when you haven't earned them yet.

00:50:08.400 It's okay.

00:50:08.860 There is a fundamental principle that I've realized over the last probably about the year.

00:50:17.080 And I, this is a principle from a work perspective.

00:50:19.920 And I think it's transcendent.

00:50:22.420 But the best possible way to serve the individual is through the group.

00:50:32.540 It's better.

00:50:34.340 I can, the Iron Council can support you, Ryan.

00:50:39.140 Better than I can.

00:50:43.600 And that's, that's how we uplift each other.

00:50:47.480 And, and that's what these tribes are.

00:50:50.020 This is what jujitsu schools are.

00:50:51.740 This is your work teams.

00:50:53.280 This is the Iron Council.

00:50:55.460 It, it is the best way to elevate others is through the group.

00:51:00.960 Yeah.

00:51:01.400 I mean, look, we're talking about it on a micro, but even to get maybe even a little bit more political again.

00:51:08.620 Immigrants coming to this country. 0.96

00:51:10.040 Look, if you don't want to assimilate to our values, get the hell out of here. 0.99

00:51:13.900 Probably the group.

00:51:16.360 No problem.

00:51:17.880 If you don't want to come and you don't believe in what we believe, no problem.

00:51:20.960 Go somewhere that does.

00:51:24.520 But if you want to come and be part of our tribe, then it's on you to assimilate to us, not us to assimilate to you.

00:51:34.240 And I, people will hear that.

00:51:38.020 I'm sure there'll be some people who hear that and take it out of context and think I'm a racist or any, any of these kinds of things that people throw around.

00:51:44.580 No, not at all.

00:51:46.080 Well, I welcome anybody who believes in what we believe in, and I will help you assimilate to our culture.

00:51:52.800 It's not my responsibility to change my culture to fit your narrative or your ideology.

00:51:58.480 Same thing with jujitsu. 0.94

00:52:00.000 If you get upset about, well, this gym's dumb because they require this, don't join the gym. 0.77

00:52:05.520 And you don't want to go somewhere else. 0.93

00:52:07.720 Yeah.

00:52:09.160 Like they don't want you and you don't even want them.

00:52:12.120 So go to the one next door.

00:52:13.440 It's fine.

00:52:14.100 But if you're trying to join a tribe in any context and to whatever degree, it's your responsibility to assimilate to that tribe or find one you can resonate more deeply with.

00:52:23.900 Yeah, totally.

00:52:25.920 Gabriel Rejos de Villa, 1074.

00:52:30.600 With how crazy is the food source in America, specific to the meat industry, what recommendations will you give people that can't go hunt and to those who are thinking on starting to hunt?

00:52:41.740 Well, yeah.

00:52:44.580 Well, starting to hunt, like just go hunt.

00:52:48.300 You know, I would suggest if you can to find a really high success ratio pig hunt in Texas.

00:52:55.120 I've recommended that for years.

00:52:56.900 If you can get on a pig hunt in Texas, you're going to have likely you're going to have a lot of success.

00:53:01.800 You're going to harvest your first animal.

00:53:03.640 You're going to get an immersion into what it's all about.

00:53:06.360 But it's like level one.

00:53:09.860 So sometimes people will go and they're like, oh, man, I didn't realize this is what it is.

00:53:13.340 That's level one.

00:53:15.100 I would never immerse somebody into level 10 if they've never even completed level one.

00:53:19.680 So a high success ratio pig hunt in Texas is a great place to start.

00:53:26.000 And then I took some notes and now I can't find my notes.

00:53:31.060 I don't know.

00:53:31.920 I swore I wrote this down, but there's a good friend of mine.

00:53:35.020 His name is AJ Richards.

00:53:36.500 And I'm going to pull it up here real quick so I can show you guys.

00:53:41.460 He's doing some really cool stuff with the supply chain.

00:53:44.300 And a lot of companies are.

00:53:45.700 But this is one I'm really attached to.

00:53:47.280 And I have no affiliation with these guys other than AJ is a good friend of mine.

00:53:50.800 But there's an account on Instagram called from the farm U.S.

00:53:56.220 From the farm U.S.

00:53:58.080 All one word.

00:53:58.880 And you can learn a little bit more about what AJ is doing with the supply chain and how the largest meat processing facilities in the world, three of the four are owned in America, are owned by foreign countries.

00:54:15.560 And what kind of risk that exposes us to.

00:54:18.000 So AJ has done a phenomenal job, and I'm going to butcher this, no pun intended, has done a phenomenal job of going direct to the rancher to consumer.

00:54:29.420 And so he's helping introduce consumers directly to small time ranchers so that we can bypass these three of four foreign owned processing facilities and go from the farm right to the individual.

00:54:45.600 So, again, if you want to check that out, I would highly suggest from the farm U.S., from a hunting perspective, again, high success pig hunts are a great place to start.

00:54:57.080 And you can even go look at, and I do have a vested interest in this company.

00:55:02.020 I'm a co-owner and co-founder, is M42 Adventures, where we're introducing men and women to the outdoors.

00:55:08.660 Part of that, not exclusively, but part of that is through hunting experiences.

00:55:13.660 We've got one coming up in Africa.

00:55:15.840 We're planning one in Hawaii.

00:55:17.720 We've got a few slated for Texas as well.

00:55:20.920 And that's m42adventures.com.

00:55:23.620 So those are the two resources I would give you.

00:55:26.580 Awesome.

00:55:27.120 I love these next two questions.

00:55:28.560 They're really geared towards you.

00:55:31.200 Stevens Tribe, how do your kids process you dating?

00:55:35.800 Was it weird for them at first?

00:55:37.560 What are both of your thoughts on when and how to introduce your kids to a significant other?

00:55:43.660 Yeah, it's still weird.

00:55:44.940 You know, it's still challenging at times.

00:55:47.440 I was with my ex for, well, we were together for 20, but I was married for 18 years.

00:55:51.720 So my kids, anywhere from 16 down to 8 years old, all they know is me being with their mom.

00:55:58.460 And that's not the case over the past year and a half.

00:56:01.440 So it's a big learning curve.

00:56:03.820 And it's a challenge at times.

00:56:05.200 So my girlfriend and I have made a few missteps, I will admit.

00:56:12.160 You know, maybe we tried to rush it too quick based on our own personal desire,

00:56:15.620 and we didn't really consider how the kids would handle it.

00:56:18.560 But we evaluated that, and we made corrections and adjustments.

00:56:21.960 And I spend a lot of time talking with my kids about it, about how they feel and what it's like.

00:56:27.080 And I talk about my girlfriend and her daughter when they're not around to my kids

00:56:33.640 because I want them to be familiar with who they are and my love and care and appreciation for them.

00:56:39.000 So I'm really honest with my kids about how hard it would be.

00:56:42.740 I went through that to some degree as a young man, so I get it to some degree. 0.92

00:56:47.620 But I'm very honest about it.

00:56:50.700 And then my girlfriend and I, we navigate that to the best of our ability.

00:56:56.360 I'm not saying we get it right or we're perfect at it.

00:56:59.140 But when we feel like maybe we shouldn't have done that or we rushed that one a little bit,

00:57:04.540 we evaluate and we take a step back and we work together on it.

00:57:09.040 So I think it really comes down to open communication between my girlfriend and I, my kids and I,

00:57:17.500 and how everybody's feeling, how she's feeling, how my kids are feeling.

00:57:21.080 And then we just navigate and make adjustments as necessary.

00:57:23.760 You know where I struggled with this is I was, I was probably too slow.

00:57:31.220 I was the opposite.

00:57:32.740 And then the introduction to the kids to the girlfriend was my issue.

00:57:38.380 Like it, I don't know if you've experienced this or if I even put you in a bad spot

00:57:42.880 because I think she listens to the podcast.

00:57:44.860 But for me, when I was dating girls, it meant something that I didn't introduce them yet.

00:57:53.600 So it was like this measuring stick of like how much I like them and if they got to see

00:57:59.860 the kids yet and, and I was overly cautious with it.

00:58:04.100 It was like, I don't know.

00:58:05.020 It seemed like this dramatic thing that was like a, a measuring stick, like I said, of how much I like them.

00:58:13.880 And if I didn't meet the kids, obviously I didn't like them that much.

00:58:17.100 Right.

00:58:17.320 Like it was this weird thing.

00:58:21.000 I'm the, I've, I've, I think I'm more opposite.

00:58:23.700 I, I would, I would actually like to be us for us to be more integrated than we currently are.

00:58:31.740 And she knows that like nothing I'm sharing is, is news because again, it goes back to what I was

00:58:38.860 saying, open communication.

00:58:40.340 So if she's listening, she's not going to be shocked that I'm saying that I would like us to be more

00:58:45.200 integrated and we just have to take the reality of the situation and work it in with our own

00:58:53.420 desires and her desires might be slightly different than mine or vice versa.

00:58:57.980 And so we all have to just navigate it together and have faith that we're going to massage this

00:59:03.440 and work this for everybody's best interest.

00:59:06.020 Cause honestly, my kids aren't the only ones that matter.

00:59:11.960 And that's not necessarily popular.

00:59:14.340 A lot of people will say, well, you know, the kids are the only ones that matter right now.

00:59:18.000 That isn't true at all.

00:59:20.820 I matter.

00:59:21.680 My girlfriend, her daughter matter.

00:59:24.560 My, my kids matter.

00:59:26.020 Like we, I have all of these people who matter.

00:59:28.760 And so we're trying to massage and work the way that this is going to work best.

00:59:33.320 And sometimes she may need to sacrifice more or my kids might need to sacrifice, or I might

00:59:38.120 need to sacrifice more.

00:59:39.240 And it's just the nature of the situation.

00:59:40.800 So I have to be really willing to pivot and adjust on the fly, knowing that ultimately I

00:59:46.300 have a desire for what I want, which is a long-term relationship with her.

00:59:49.800 Uh, but also we have real life that we need to deal with.

00:59:54.740 And she acknowledges that as well.

00:59:56.280 Well, and in the, in the end, depending on things, uh, the kids are gone.

01:00:03.740 Yeah, sure.

01:00:05.140 True.

01:00:05.600 And you're with her.

01:00:07.160 So exactly.

01:00:09.180 You gotta be making a decision from that perspective.

01:00:11.760 I mean, I, I realized that when I, when I married that she was now the priority, not

01:00:20.040 my kids.

01:00:22.960 Such a weird, a lot of people who aren't in this boat won't understand that.

01:00:27.100 I think it's really, and I would have said this before too.

01:00:29.500 I think it's really easy to say that my kids are everything when you're in an environment

01:00:35.140 where everything is working perfectly.

01:00:37.060 I would have said that two years ago and when you're met and confronted with difficult

01:00:43.500 circumstances, you begin to realize there's some nuance to the conversation and there's

01:00:48.040 some nuance here that I admittedly am trying to navigate and I don't get it right all the

01:00:53.400 time, but I acknowledge it and I recognize it and I'm trying to adjust as necessary, not

01:00:59.420 only for my children, but also for the woman I love and care about because she has needs

01:01:04.420 too.

01:01:04.700 And that's important to me.

01:01:05.940 And her kids.

01:01:08.520 Yeah, definitely.

01:01:09.860 All right.

01:01:10.180 I got to run after this question.

01:01:11.960 Are you okay with one more?

01:01:13.060 Yeah.

01:01:13.640 Fire away.

01:01:15.800 David, David, a, a George, how can I help and support a friend who is struggling with

01:01:21.660 alcohol?

01:01:22.860 I don't want to be like other people to judge him, but, or judge him.

01:01:28.100 What should I do?

01:01:28.960 And what should I say?

01:01:30.640 As alcohol is a far thing from me.

01:01:33.640 I can't understand what he is going through.

01:01:36.440 It is just very sad and hard to see him this way.

01:01:39.220 As I saw him, he was very ashamed and wanted me to go.

01:01:43.860 Please give me some advice.

01:01:45.160 That's interesting.

01:01:49.540 He was ashamed.

01:01:50.920 So he knows it's a problem.

01:01:52.560 And kind of pushing him away.

01:01:53.560 Yeah.

01:01:54.200 Yeah.

01:01:55.000 He knows it's a problem.

01:01:56.420 That's good.

01:01:57.180 That's actually good.

01:01:58.800 It's better that he acknowledges there's a problem.

01:02:01.040 It's better that he's ashamed of it than if he wasn't.

01:02:03.560 Because if he wasn't ashamed of it, the answer I'd give to you is there's nothing you can

01:02:08.020 do.

01:02:09.040 But because you said he's ashamed of it, he knows there's a problem.

01:02:12.480 And so what I would say, let's say, look, can we do a little role play?

01:02:17.120 Yeah.

01:02:18.420 So if, if you're the individual who's a friend of mine and I know you have a problem with

01:02:22.560 alcohol, I'm going to come to you and say, Hey Kip, can I be honest with you about something?

01:02:26.780 I need to talk with you.

01:02:28.640 And you're going to say, yeah, sure.

01:02:31.840 Okay.

01:02:32.200 Hey man, like I want you to know first and foremost, I love you like a brother.

01:02:38.600 I care about you.

01:02:39.620 We've been together in this capacity for a long time.

01:02:43.420 And, um, I'm, I'm running the risk of maybe jeopardizing our relationship, but I feel like

01:02:52.020 I need to bring something up.

01:02:53.220 Can I bring that up to you?

01:02:54.960 Absolutely.

01:02:57.520 Hey, I've noticed your drinking is getting worse.

01:02:59.600 And you're not as healthy mentally as you used to be.

01:03:07.060 Physically, you're not as healthy.

01:03:08.300 Uh, you seem really irritable, uh, very emotional, very, very contentious with people.

01:03:15.220 And I've noticed a huge change in you and man, it's not you.

01:03:19.720 I hate to see it.

01:03:21.640 Do you think it's a problem?

01:03:22.820 Now, look, if he says, no, it's not a problem.

01:03:27.040 Say, okay, like, I think it is, but I just want you to know, I still love you.

01:03:34.240 I still care about you.

01:03:35.760 You're still part of my circle.

01:03:37.100 I still want to do things.

01:03:38.360 I'm just telling you right now, you may not acknowledge it, but Kip, it's a problem, man.

01:03:43.260 Like, it's a problem.

01:03:45.220 And I feel-

01:03:46.360 Your wife sees it.

01:03:47.240 Your kids see it.

01:03:48.560 I see it.

01:03:49.480 Your colleagues and coworkers see it.

01:03:50.980 You might not see it, but it's a problem.

01:03:53.200 I'm telling you right now, it's a problem.

01:03:54.820 And I'm not here to judge you.

01:03:56.700 I'm just here to give you some objective feedback.

01:03:59.120 If you decide it's not a problem, I'll love you the same way I always have.

01:04:03.080 I'm telling you, you're different than you were.

01:04:05.300 And it's hurting people around you.

01:04:06.920 Got it.

01:04:08.500 And I would bet that the response to that question for a lot of guys would say, and I

01:04:15.880 don't know.

01:04:16.300 I don't know if this is true, but I would guess, that I see that I'm more irritable.

01:04:22.900 I see that I'm being a punk, that I'm showing up differently, but it's not the alcohol.

01:04:30.200 It's this other thing, Ryan, I got going on.

01:04:34.860 And it's stressing me out.

01:04:36.920 And I'm just kind of addressing it the best I can.

01:04:41.860 And because of that, I'm drinking a little bit more.

01:04:45.420 Yeah.

01:04:46.300 Because so here's what I would say to that.

01:04:48.320 Alcohol is usually a byproduct, right?

01:04:49.640 It's like a solution to something, right?

01:04:51.740 So they may see it that way.

01:04:54.140 Yeah.

01:04:54.440 So here's, if you told me that, here's what I'd say.

01:04:58.500 Kip, thank you for telling me that.

01:05:00.720 I was wondering what's going on.

01:05:02.300 I can see how your marital issues are creating some stress for you.

01:05:08.860 I can see how you starting that new business is a source of frustration.

01:05:14.200 I can see that.

01:05:16.140 I appreciate that.

01:05:17.260 I've been there.

01:05:17.940 But you know what?

01:05:20.140 Your drinking isn't helping the situation.

01:05:24.940 So I acknowledge what you're saying.

01:05:27.760 And we do.

01:05:28.420 We have to validate people's feelings.

01:05:30.020 This is one thing guys will do a lot.

01:05:31.880 People will do a lot.

01:05:32.740 You'll even do this with your wife.

01:05:34.120 She'll say, I had a hard day.

01:05:35.160 It's like, oh, hon, don't have a hard day.

01:05:36.660 Things are good.

01:05:37.660 Bro, you just invalidated what she was feeling.

01:05:43.500 Instead of that, say, you had a hard day?

01:05:45.700 Why?

01:05:46.360 And it doesn't matter what she says.

01:05:48.740 She might say, oh, my boss yelled at me. 0.83

01:05:51.980 And you might think, well, just get over it.

01:05:53.840 People yell at people all the time.

01:05:55.220 Don't say that.

01:05:56.120 Just say, oh, you know what? 0.99

01:05:57.940 That's got to suck. 0.95

01:06:00.820 I'm sorry, your boss yelled at you. 0.93

01:06:02.680 How are you feeling about it?

01:06:04.100 You don't need to solve her problem.

01:06:05.140 Just let her work through it.

01:06:06.000 And it's the same thing with your guy friends.

01:06:07.620 When your guy says, yeah, dude, my marriage is in shambles and this and this. 1.00

01:06:11.240 Well, you're an idiot. 1.00

01:06:12.640 Like, your wife's great. 1.00

01:06:13.920 What's your problem?

01:06:15.720 Just get over it.

01:06:16.800 You're invalidating how they feel and you're creating barriers.

01:06:19.900 So instead, say, your marriage is on the rocks? 1.00

01:06:22.900 Damn. 0.99

01:06:24.160 I didn't know that. 1.00

01:06:25.380 What's going on?

01:06:27.380 Man, my wife and I, we had a problem two years ago.

01:06:29.780 We almost, I don't know if you know, we almost went through a divorce.

01:06:31.940 What's going on with you, though?

01:06:34.520 That's validation.

01:06:35.980 You need to validate people's feelings because it allows you to work with them a little bit closer.

01:06:41.240 And so I might say to you, Kip, yeah, look, I know work's hard.

01:06:44.500 I know your wife's and you, I know your guys' relationship is not going well.

01:06:48.360 What's your goal with your marriage?

01:06:50.820 Are you, what do you want?

01:06:51.600 You want a divorce?

01:06:53.520 And you're going to say, no, hell no.

01:06:54.840 I don't want a divorce.

01:06:55.660 I want to, like, I married this woman.

01:06:56.900 I care about her.

01:06:57.420 I want to be with her.

01:06:59.140 Oh, that's good news.

01:07:00.400 But can I be really frank with you, Kip?

01:07:03.480 Yeah.

01:07:03.800 Your drinking is moving you further away from the goal that you have.

01:07:10.260 So you might be stressed out about that marriage.

01:07:12.500 I would be, too, if I was in the same boat as you.

01:07:16.400 Your drinking is moving you further away from your life.

01:07:20.660 So you sit here and you're telling me that you want to have a healthy marriage with your wife,

01:07:27.320 but you're going through the rocks and you think that your drinking is going to help that?

01:07:35.320 Let's go get some help together.

01:07:37.360 You need to go to AA.

01:07:39.120 And you know what I'm going to do?

01:07:40.960 I'm going to go to Al-Anon, which is an AA-type meeting for individuals of loved ones who are alcoholics.

01:07:50.200 So you're going to go to that, and I'm going to go to this meeting.

01:07:54.220 And I'm going to do this with you because you just told me your goal, and I just told you I loved you.

01:07:58.340 So it's my responsibility to help support you.

01:08:01.940 If you go, or let me say it this way.

01:08:05.060 If I go, will you go?

01:08:06.460 Well, I think you need to walk this person through that a little bit.

01:08:13.680 And look, if they resist and they push back, there's only so much you can do.

01:08:17.380 But that's the initial conversation.

01:08:19.720 That's what I would do.

01:08:21.240 And frankly, really, really frankly, and I know you've got a jet, Kip.

01:08:25.700 I wish somebody would have done that for me.

01:08:28.260 And I'm not pinning that on you or anybody else because I was closet drinking.

01:08:34.240 So a lot of people didn't know.

01:08:36.460 So I'm not pinning that on anybody else.

01:08:38.840 But man, if somebody would have said that to me a year ago, damn if my life wouldn't be a whole lot different.

01:08:45.160 And I'm not dissatisfied with where my life is now, so don't conflate the two.

01:08:49.540 I'm really happy with where my life is now.

01:08:51.580 And I'm making amends, and I'm moving on, and I've got a relationship, and all these things that are really wonderful.

01:08:57.100 But man, if somebody would have said those things to me a year and a half ago, it would be different than what it is today.

01:09:04.600 I think we did him a solid.

01:09:10.820 I hope.

01:09:11.800 Yeah.

01:09:12.560 I hope we did that guy a solid, and I hope we did his friend a solid.

01:09:15.920 Yeah.

01:09:16.680 Too many guys won't say anything.

01:09:18.780 Like, they'll see their guys, they'll see their buddies step out on their wives. 0.96

01:09:22.000 They'll see their buddies get sloshed on the weekend and make a complete fool of themselves. 0.83

01:09:26.480 They'll see them do dumb things, and they're like, well, I don't know how to bring it up. 0.96

01:09:30.640 I don't want to make it uncomfortable.

01:09:32.500 That's your job.

01:09:33.580 You're a friend.

01:09:35.440 That's your job.

01:09:37.340 Your job.

01:09:38.060 Like, you have to be willing to risk the friendship.

01:09:40.460 If you really care about that person, you have to be willing to put the relationship on the line.

01:09:46.400 And if you're not willing to do that, then don't tell me you're that person's friend, because you're not.

01:09:51.940 You're really not.

01:09:52.840 And this is in the spirit of one of the themes of this call, is should you or shouldn't you say something?

01:10:00.660 That's it.

01:10:01.420 Don't worry about the consequences.

01:10:04.700 And if the answer is yes, then you do.

01:10:09.220 And we need to stop operating and trying to control the outcomes of other people that are outside of a realm of control

01:10:17.100 and focus on just doing what is right.

01:10:20.460 And let the chips fall where they may.

01:10:22.840 Can I just give one more other thing on the buddy who's going through alcohol abuse?

01:10:29.480 Yeah.

01:10:29.960 He might say no to you.

01:10:31.420 Like, hey, if I go to Al-Anon, will you go to an AA meeting?

01:10:34.540 And he might say no.

01:10:35.420 Say, okay, I'm going to go for the next two months anyways.

01:10:42.380 I'm going to go.

01:10:43.040 Like, I care about you.

01:10:47.140 I'm getting a little emotional because if somebody would have said that, man, that would have been life-changing.

01:10:53.660 Like, you don't have to go.

01:10:54.840 It's your decision.

01:10:55.820 I'm going to go.

01:10:57.420 And I'll let you know how it is.

01:10:58.860 And I'll report back to you.

01:11:00.080 And I'll keep inviting you.

01:11:01.220 But I'm going to go for a couple months.

01:11:02.780 Now, you can't do it forever, right?

01:11:04.960 You have your own life.

01:11:06.720 But, hey, I'm going to go for a couple months by myself.

01:11:08.900 And if you change your mind, you know where I'll be.

01:11:12.380 Man, that's love right there.

01:11:16.140 Totally.

01:11:16.400 I was going to share something, but I'm not going to share something because it's personal.

01:11:21.280 But I will say this.

01:11:25.060 When you support.

01:11:28.360 Dang, I'm getting emotional.

01:11:30.880 When you support somebody like that, they're going to change.

01:11:37.260 That's power.

01:11:37.940 That to me is love.

01:11:40.120 No judgment.

01:11:41.220 No condition.

01:11:42.380 No contingent upon.

01:11:45.040 No contract.

01:11:46.960 Nope.

01:11:47.420 I love you.

01:11:48.500 I'm going to go do this.

01:11:49.920 You know where I'll be.

01:11:51.260 If you decide to come, come with me.

01:11:54.300 If not, doesn't matter.

01:11:56.480 I'm still doing it.

01:11:57.740 That to me is love for somebody.

01:12:03.620 Spot on.

01:12:04.420 All right, brother.

01:12:04.940 Bring it home for us.

01:12:06.160 Yeah.

01:12:06.320 So to connect with Mr. Mickler on X in the gram, that's at Ryan Mickler.

01:12:11.480 You can join us on the Facebook group at facebook.com slash group slash order of man.

01:12:16.400 We have some new t-shirts and some restock within the order of man store.

01:12:21.780 Go to store.

01:12:23.180 Order of man.com to get that as well as the other thing as a call out is our battle ready

01:12:29.060 program.

01:12:29.680 Iron council is closed.

01:12:31.000 But if you want to kind of be your self-directed, self-paced in preparation of joining the iron

01:12:36.420 council next quarter, go to order of man.com slash battle ready.

01:12:42.400 Awesome.

01:12:43.220 Great questions today, guys.

01:12:44.580 I love these questions.

01:12:46.260 I love them so much that I actually prepared a response, which I normally don't do.

01:12:50.840 So there you go, guys.

01:12:53.060 I hope you enjoy it.

01:12:54.260 And most importantly, I hope that it gave you something to consider.

01:12:58.220 And in the spirit of the questions today, I hope it gave you something to consider where

01:13:02.760 you can, I'm not going to say save your people because it's not your job always to save other

01:13:08.400 people, but to shine and to be an example and to give them everything that you can possibly

01:13:16.360 give so they can save themselves.

01:13:18.060 It's their, it's not your responsibility.

01:13:19.400 It's their responsibility.

01:13:21.020 But we do have a responsibility of giving all that we can give.

01:13:23.820 And I hope, I hope, and I've actually thought about, I need to reach out to some people.

01:13:28.600 Actually, I have a couple of people I need to reach out to today because of the things

01:13:33.140 I just shared with you.

01:13:34.560 All right, guys.

01:13:35.500 Appreciate everything.

01:13:36.980 We will be back on, I'm so confused because we're recording this a week in advance.

01:13:41.840 We'll be back Friday for our Friday field notes.

01:13:44.240 Until then, go out there, take action and become the man you are meant to be.

01:13:48.000 Thank you for listening to the Order of Man podcast.

01:13:55.780 You're ready to take charge of your life and be more of the man you were meant to be.

01:13:59.820 We invite you to join the order at orderofman.com.

OJ Simpson, Faith in Your Course of Action, and Taking on Other People's Issues

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