Order of Man - One Powerful Strategy to Build Influence with Others ｜ FRIDAY FIELD NOTES

00:00:00.000 You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest, embrace your fears, and boldly chart

00:00:04.980 your own path. When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time, every time.

00:00:10.420 You are not easily deterred or defeated, rugged, resilient, strong. This is your life. This is who

00:00:17.220 you are. This is who you will become. At the end of the day, and after all is said and done,

00:00:22.780 you can call yourself a man. Gentlemen, what is going on today? My name is Ryan Michler,

00:00:27.700 and I am the host and the founder of this podcast and the order of man movement. I want to welcome

00:00:33.220 you here, whether you're here for the first time, or you've been with us for any amount of time,

00:00:36.580 you're in the right place. If you're a man and you want to improve, and you're trying to level

00:00:39.900 up your capabilities and be a better father, husband, business owner, community leader,

00:00:44.460 then this is again, the right place. I would ask that if you haven't done this already,

00:00:48.780 that you subscribe, that you leave a rating review. If you're here for the first time,

00:00:52.400 just listen to this episode or for a week or whatever, and then you can leave your rating

00:00:56.640 review because I want those things to be honest. But if you would do that, that would go a long way

00:01:01.220 in promoting the visibility of the show. And guys, it really isn't just about the visibility.

00:01:05.600 It's about getting more resources and information and ideas and insights into the hands and minds of

00:01:13.320 the men who we need to step up fully and become as capable as they possibly can. That's what the show

00:01:19.320 is dedicated to. And that's what I've been doing over the past five years. Now we do that via this

00:01:23.660 podcast. We've got some incredible conversations with guys like Jocko Willink and David Goggins,

00:01:29.920 Grant Cardone, Andy Frisilla, Dakota Meyer, Tim Kennedy, John Eldridge. I could go on and on.

00:01:36.580 The men we've had join us is absolutely incredible. And I've got some great ones coming down the pike

00:01:42.240 as well, including the New York times bestselling author, Mark Manson of everything is F'd and the

00:01:49.100 subtle art of not giving an F. So that is a very great conversation that will be coming down the

00:01:54.040 pike. Like I said, in the next, I believe couple of weeks. So stay tuned and subscribe for that one. 1.00

00:01:59.320 Guys, I want to talk with you about influence today and how to improve your level of influence.

00:02:05.860 Now, when we talk about what it means to be a man, there's a few tenants that I believe

00:02:09.240 lie at the foundation, the root of what we are supposed to be doing. And if you've been with us for any

00:02:14.020 amount of time, you know, exactly what I'm about to say, that is to protect, provide, and preside.

00:02:20.180 Preside is synonymous with leadership. Now, in order to protect, provide, and preside, you need to be

00:02:26.600 able to influence other people. You might be able to get some compliance from people, depending on your

00:02:32.220 position of authority and the position within a company or your family structure, your kids, for

00:02:38.560 example, or your employees might comply because they're compelled or obligated to do that.

00:02:43.000 But leading people is about getting them to voluntarily follow you. It has to be voluntary.

00:02:50.200 Otherwise, I don't really believe it's, it's leadership. It might be dictatorship or tyranny,

00:02:55.220 but it isn't voluntary leadership. And in order to persuade people, to influence people, to

00:03:02.340 voluntarily follow you, you actually need to be worthy of, of being followed. Otherwise people won't.

00:03:09.000 Uh, my friend, uh, Brett Bartholomew talks about this. He talks about the difference between

00:03:14.740 compliance and commitment. Compliance is just getting somebody to do something because you have

00:03:20.000 that position of authority. You can get an employee to do that task because the fear of them getting

00:03:25.000 fired or losing, losing their job or something like that, uh, is what's looming over their head,

00:03:31.200 right? Uh, commitment on the other hand is they are extremely bought into the idea of following you

00:03:37.840 because they believe that you can lead them to somewhere that they cannot get to currently on

00:03:44.280 their own. That's what it means to be a leader. And your ability to influence is largely determined

00:03:49.920 by two things. Uh, I'm only going to talk about one today, but I'll tell you what the two are. Number

00:03:54.240 one is leading by example. You have to lead by example. You cannot lead somebody to somewhere

00:04:01.220 that you are not currently yourself, or you're not on the path to going in that direction because

00:04:06.320 leadership starts up front. So if you're not up front, you're behind or you're pushing, or you're

00:04:11.600 in the middle of the pack somewhere, then you, you aren't leading. Now you might be instructing,

00:04:15.720 you might be guiding, but you're certainly not leading. Okay. So for you to lead, you have to be

00:04:19.860 out front, which means that if you're talking with people about improving their, uh, physical, uh,

00:04:25.400 exercise and their physical strength and stamina and conditioning, then you need to be in physical

00:04:29.280 shape. You, you have had to have gone first leaders go first. Uh, you have to lead by example.

00:04:35.320 If you want to lead effectively, you have to lead by example. And all of us know that boss, uh, that,

00:04:40.840 that, that coworker, that team leader, the individual, the coach, the mentor, whoever,

00:04:44.740 who we know was completely full of crap. They may have been in that, that position of authority.

00:04:52.060 They may have had the title, but they certainly weren't a leader and we complied. But when we talk

00:04:57.840 about compliance, it's just doing the bare minimum to get by not to get fired or lose your job or get

00:05:03.140 reprimanded. It's the bare minimum. It's not what we're looking for from our people. We're looking for

00:05:08.220 commitment, putting in the maximum amount of effort in order to produce the desired and effective

00:05:13.680 outcome that we in the team is after again, whether that team is your family or your business,

00:05:18.960 wherever, wherever it is. Okay. So you need to lead by example. That's number one, number two,

00:05:24.960 and this is really the root of what I wanted to talk with you about today is your ability to

00:05:28.500 communicate effectively. I think this is something that is so overlooked, uh, and misunderstood and

00:05:34.300 misconstrued. And you hear the ideas of the, the, the zero F's mentality. And if this person

00:05:40.700 doesn't understand what I'm saying, that's their fault, not mine. And yeah, I mean, there's some

00:05:45.220 situations where maybe that's true, but if you're the one communicating a message and you want to

00:05:51.100 influence or inspire somebody to do something, to engage in some level of behavior, then it is upon

00:05:58.200 you as the leader, as the one communicating the message to ensure that that message is being heard

00:06:05.260 and understood and received in a way that will produce effort that will push them towards the

00:06:12.460 direction that you want to influence that individual to go. Now, yes, they have some level

00:06:17.880 of responsibility and ensuring that they are capable of, of comprehending that they're looking for nuance

00:06:24.340 and context and understanding what you're trying to say. But guys, as leaders, we can't control what

00:06:29.200 other people are doing. We can only influence. And we do that by improving ourselves. When we are more

00:06:34.340 influential, then people are more bound to follow us. So your ability to communicate a message

00:06:40.140 effectively is going to spell the difference between success and failure for your kids, for your

00:06:44.840 wife, for your teammates, your colleagues, your coworkers, whoever it is. And I was on, I was on

00:06:49.920 Facebook earlier this morning and somebody had made a comment. Now, granted social media is, you know,

00:06:56.980 not the best place for having healthy dialogue. I don't know what it is, but social media just brings

00:07:02.180 out the worst in people. Well, I, you know, I think it has something to do with the, the ability for

00:07:07.220 people to be anonymous, right? They can hide behind their keyboards and they don't have to actually

00:07:11.240 have any sort of consequences or ramifications of the things they say. So they just get nasty

00:07:15.820 and, and, and they lose all levels of, of civility. So I had this, this interesting exchange. I had made a,

00:07:24.840 a new post on, in our Facebook group, which by the way, if you're interested, you can find it,

00:07:29.500 facebook.com slash groups slash order of men. And I recorded a video, an introductory video,

00:07:34.700 and just let the guys know what the Facebook group is all about, what we're doing here,

00:07:38.220 what we're trying to accomplish. Here's some of the guidelines and instruction, et cetera, et cetera.

00:07:42.440 And everybody's like, cool. You know, thanks. Appreciate the insight. Thanks for the feedback.

00:07:45.680 And this one guy comes back and he says something to the effect of, you know, well, interesting

00:07:51.320 because all of this stuff is, is regulated through you. And I'll probably just get removed just for saying this.

00:08:00.480 And it's, it's, it's very telling when you have an individual communicate that way.

00:08:05.580 This is, this is an individual who is, who's passive aggressive, right? They've obviously got

00:08:10.260 a problem with something, but they either never learned how to address these things assertively

00:08:15.540 or they just aren't interested in having an adult rational conversation, but it's, it's, it's, I was

00:08:25.160 going to say it's funny. It's not funny. It's disturbing how often I see grown men who are

00:08:30.200 incapable of communicating with a healthy, mature, masculine level of assertiveness. So what I wanted

00:08:40.620 to do today is I wanted to break down the four communication styles, talk about the pros and

00:08:44.920 cons of each of these communication styles, and then give you some strategies for how you can move

00:08:49.220 into the most effective communication style, which will ultimately help you feel better about who you

00:08:54.700 are as an individual and help you lead more effectively as the father and the husband and the

00:08:59.480 business owner and the community leader and the type of man that you're showing up, or at least have a

00:09:03.220 desire to show up as. And if you undercut yourself at every turn by the way that you communicate and

00:09:09.660 you weren't aware of it, you don't know how to be mature in the way that you communicate, then you're

00:09:15.820 going to fall into a lot of traps along the way. And you're probably going to wonder why you're not

00:09:19.520 experiencing the results that you're after. Why don't your kids listen to you? Why does your wife

00:09:24.500 not respect you? Why do your teammates or, or subordinates do just the bare minimum to get by?

00:09:31.920 And it's easy to blame them. Oh, you know, my kids, they're just, they're just rowdy and they're

00:09:36.640 out of control. And my wife has no discipline for them. And my wife, she just doesn't appreciate me 1.00

00:09:41.240 because she doesn't see all the hard work and employees are horrible. And they're just, they're

00:09:45.600 all millennials and they're just trying to do whatever they can do to not have to work. It's easy to go that

00:09:50.120 route. And some of that actually might be true. That's why it's the trap, because we believe that maybe

00:09:54.960 some of that stuff is true and maybe it has some validity to it. But how often are you willing to look

00:09:59.480 at yourself and say, Hmm, I wonder if the reason my kids don't listen to me is because I'm not worth

00:10:05.400 listening to. I wonder if the reason that my wife doesn't respect what I'm doing is because I'm not

00:10:12.760 communicating effectively what it is I'm doing and how I am actually serving and leading the family.

00:10:18.060 I wonder if the reason my employees don't follow me or at a minimum, just do exactly what is necessary

00:10:25.900 to get by and nothing more is because they aren't interested in being led by me as the supervisor or

00:10:34.240 team leader or whatever of, of the organization. Like what if instead of putting the burden of

00:10:41.280 responsibility on everybody else and all these external resources and circumstances that we can't

00:10:48.680 control, we took it upon our own shoulders and we said, what can I do to fix my ability to communicate

00:10:53.920 effectively? So let's break this down. The first communication style. Number one is aggressiveness.

00:10:59.600 All right. We, we all know the aggressive jerk. He railroads people. He bulldozes people. He's the

00:11:05.860 red personality. He's the quote unquote alpha, right? And anybody that gets in his way or doesn't

00:11:10.760 understand is an idiot and a moron. And he just railroads people and he just pile drives them in every 0.95

00:11:18.200 opportunity that he can. And here's the, here's the trap. This guy actually gets a lot done.

00:11:26.040 The aggressive guy gets a lot done in the short term. He can move the team along. He can push them

00:11:32.400 along. He can, he can get them going. He can produce the results. And what happens is those results get

00:11:38.120 produced immediately. And then this guy, because of his ego and look, I've fallen in this trap before too,

00:11:43.920 but the guy, because of his ego believes that this is the right way to communicate.

00:11:48.220 If I can just be a bully and I can just be aggressive and I can just run people over,

00:11:52.100 then people are going to do what they're supposed to do. And they're all idiots anyways. And I'm the

00:11:55.480 only one who knows how to do this. So I'm just going to keep being aggressive. And what you end up

00:12:00.480 seeing is that in the short term, this individual produces results, but in the longterm, nobody likes

00:12:05.520 him. And then they start teammates or employees or family members start to undermine his authority and his

00:12:11.380 credibility. This is where like mutinies take place. And people go around the chain of command

00:12:16.840 because you have undermined all trust, authority, and credibility. Yes. You got the short-term result,

00:12:23.260 but in the longterm, nobody likes you. Nobody wants to work with you. Excuse me. And everybody's

00:12:28.800 going to put forth inferior effort. If you're the aggressive communicator, the trap that you're going to

00:12:34.620 fall into is believing that because it worked in the last week or the last month, that somehow that is

00:12:40.360 the right way to communicate. And I'm just telling you right now, it isn't, it isn't, it is an effective

00:12:45.120 way to communicate. It's, it's, it's damaging. It's destructive to the people you care about.

00:12:48.960 And it's destructive to you and the results that you're trying to produce. So that's the first

00:12:53.600 communication style. The second communication style is passive. Now we all, we all know the passive

00:12:59.500 guy too. He's weak. He's timid. He's cowardly. He's pathetic. He lets people railroad him.

00:13:07.080 Uh, he he's overly nice. And please don't misunderstand me. Cause a lot of people do when

00:13:12.580 I say nice, like I'm not saying it's bad to be nice. Okay. But I think there's a difference

00:13:17.160 between being kind and being nice. When I'm talking about being nice, I'm talking about allowing

00:13:21.900 yourself to get railroaded, to get bulldozed, to never voice your opinion, to never, uh, have any sort

00:13:28.740 of, uh, disagreement or discontent and to let everybody else dictate the tone of the conversations.

00:13:34.360 And frankly, dictate your life. What a sad way to live. I've been, I've been this guy to some degree,

00:13:40.880 uh, more generally I fall into the aggressive by default, but you don't want to be the nice guy.

00:13:46.480 Uh, there's a great book called no more, Mr. Nice guy that you ought to check out. Uh, this is for the

00:13:51.980 passive individual, the guy that allows himself to get railroaded and pushed around and beat up and

00:13:56.460 banged up. And then he wonders why, uh, nobody respects him. Nobody trusts him. Nobody listens to him.

00:14:02.900 He doesn't produce the results he wants. He doesn't have the life that he's after. And he can't

00:14:07.700 figure out why, because he, Oh, he's so nice. Like, I don't know why people don't like me. I'm

00:14:11.340 always so nice because people, especially those who are looking to be led aren't looking for nice.

00:14:16.800 They're looking for capable. They're looking for proficient. They're looking for leaders who are

00:14:23.820 going to get the job done. Not the nice guy. Like people just don't want to generally just feel

00:14:28.960 fluffy and nice. They want to get the job done. So you got to be careful of being that passive guy.

00:14:34.460 All right. Now the third communication style is the passive aggressive. The passive aggressive is

00:14:40.040 the jokester. He's the sarcastic one. He's the one who is, is weak. All right. He's weak. He's timid.

00:14:50.220 He's cowardly, but he doesn't want to be that way. And so instead of being passive, he thinks that

00:14:58.540 he's going to manufacture, fabricate some level of aggressiveness and believe that that fake

00:15:07.040 aggressiveness will cloak his weakness. Think about that for a second. The passive aggressive

00:15:13.800 is a weak link. All right. He just thinks that if he communicates in an aggressive tone, that it'll

00:15:20.780 offset his, his timidness, his weakness. And so he's trying to disguise who he really is by taking

00:15:29.160 it to the extreme. These are the guys that have a joke for everything. They can't take anything

00:15:35.280 seriously. They have to laugh and joke and mock and ridicule. If they see something wrong, they can't

00:15:41.840 just come out and say, yeah, I don't agree with that because X, Y, and Z here's why they don't like

00:15:46.860 confrontation because they're weak. Weak people don't like confrontation. Even something that is

00:15:52.940 perceived to be potentially controversial or confrontational. They don't want any of that.

00:15:58.860 So because they're feeling like that, they think that they can ward off by attempting to be overly

00:16:05.360 aggressive. This is a very immature way to communicate. And, and the underlying thread between

00:16:11.460 the three that I already shared with you. So aggressiveness, passiveness, and passive aggressive,

00:16:16.780 the underlying thread is immaturity. These are men who are immature. They, they have never learned how

00:16:22.900 to communicate effectively. Potentially they've never been around an assertive communicator. A lot

00:16:28.280 of the times, even some of these guys, especially the, the passive communicator will interpret

00:16:34.600 the assertive communicator as being aggressive. And also what I've seen is a lot of the passive

00:16:41.440 communicators have spent a lot of time around women. They have, they've learned from women.

00:16:46.880 They were raised primarily by their mother and the school system. And so they're passive. Now I'm

00:16:51.820 not saying women are passive by default, but I'm saying a woman, a woman, excuse me, a woman's

00:16:57.580 communication style is less confrontational and argumentative and disagreeable than men. Generally,

00:17:06.120 I know there's exceptions to that, but generally women are less disagreeable, less confrontational 1.00

00:17:13.540 than men are naturally. I mean, we, we anecdotally, we understand that scientifically it's even been

00:17:17.860 proven as well. So the guys who, who are one of these three ways, aggressive or, or passive or passive

00:17:27.600 aggressive, especially if they're passive generally spent a lot of time around women and they interpret

00:17:33.080 assertive behavior, which is the fourth communication style as being aggressive, as being

00:17:37.640 intimidating, as being scary. And so you'll see it. If a guy, an assertive communicator brings

00:17:43.180 something up, they'll backpedal, they'll back up. They don't want any confrontation. I've, I've had

00:17:47.360 people that I've worked with who have said things behind my back. And then when I say something

00:17:51.080 directly to them, because I try to be an assertive communicator, Oh no, no, no, I didn't say that.

00:17:55.600 And what I meant and they backpedal, right? Cause they're, they're afraid of that confrontation.

00:17:59.640 Guys, the point that I'm making here is we need to learn to mature in our level of communication.

00:18:08.180 When we're dealing with people online, when we're dealing with our children or our wife or colleagues

00:18:14.200 or coworkers, or even a boss, and we mature by moving into the next level of communication, which

00:18:19.100 is assertive. This is the way that men communicate and anything outside of assertive communication is

00:18:25.920 boy-like behavior. It's childish, it's immature, and it is not how men communicate. The way that you be

00:18:33.380 assertive is that you begin to share what's on your mind. You begin to communicate your thoughts. You

00:18:41.300 begin to express your disagreements and your discontent, not in a way that undermines, but in a way that

00:18:48.940 actually helps another individual. This is the power of assertive communication. If you're assertive, it means

00:18:54.860 that you have other people's best interest at heart, that you want them to succeed, that you want them

00:18:59.980 to win, that you want to teach them and guide them and instruct and coach and help them get to a place

00:19:05.360 that they could not have imagined going on their own. An assertive communicator is not selfish. If

00:19:12.400 anything, an assertive communicator is selfless. He communicates in a way that is going to be most

00:19:18.140 receptive for the individuals that he's attempting to serve. That's why you communicate that the way,

00:19:24.220 the way that you do. I want my children to be successful. I know that if I'm going to be passive

00:19:28.600 aggressive with my kids, they're going to resent me. I'm potentially going to embarrass them or upset

00:19:33.460 them about a situation. And then they're not going to learn, or they're going to be conditioned into

00:19:38.320 behavior that isn't conducive to their own results and their own success. If I'm aggressive with them

00:19:44.340 and railroad them and bully them and bulldoze them, they're going to be timid and cowardly and weak, 0.55

00:19:50.620 like a dog who's been beat. If on the other hand, I'm assertive with them and I show them

00:19:56.280 what they're doing right and what they're doing wrong and how they can improve it. And I do it

00:20:00.120 with a level of empathy and understanding and even kindness and compassion, but also being able to

00:20:06.580 share what needs to be shared, then I'm serving them. I'm giving them the tools and the conversations

00:20:12.000 and the resources they need to improve upon their life. And I don't care if it's your kids or your wife

00:20:16.620 or your colleagues or your coworkers or whoever. So I'm going to challenge you today with some

00:20:22.340 things. I want you to take an inventory of your communication style and you're not going to turn

00:20:27.600 this into me. You're not going to turn this into anybody else. Maybe talk about it with your wife

00:20:32.120 or your kids or the people who are closest with you. Ask them, how do I communicate? And which camp

00:20:36.680 do I most often fall into? Because look, we can all fall into all four. And I'm not saying that I

00:20:41.340 don't fall into being passive or aggressive or even passive aggressive at times. I do. I'm not above

00:20:46.220 that. I haven't completely mastered that. I don't know if I ever will, but I'm conscious about moving

00:20:50.620 into assertiveness. So the first challenge I'm going to issue you guys today is to take inventory

00:20:55.720 of your own life and ask yourself, what camp do you fall into most often? Be as objective as possible

00:21:01.080 because nobody's grading this. It's you. Like you can fool me. You can fool everybody else, but you

00:21:05.540 can't fool yourself. And you certainly can't fool the people who are closest to you. Okay. That's number

00:21:09.160 one challenge. Number one challenge. Number two is I want you to take an inventory with the people who

00:21:13.780 are closest to you. That could be your colleagues or a coworker, your children, maybe a neighbor,

00:21:18.780 a brother, a family member, your wife, and ask them which camp you fall into most often.

00:21:25.860 And don't be defensive. All right. The feedback that you're getting from them is valuable. But if

00:21:31.140 you start to defend yourself and you start to say, no, I don't really do that. You're undermining your

00:21:35.980 efforts. They're trying to help you. They're trying to serve you and you asked for the help. So don't

00:21:40.240 undermine it when they give you that feedback. Say, thank you for that feedback. Is there

00:21:43.560 anything that I can do to move into this more assertive camp? And by the way, if you undermine

00:21:48.640 them and you make them feel foolish for giving you the feedback that you asked for, then the next

00:21:53.760 time you ask for feedback or a favor or some, some, some guidance, they're not going to give it to you

00:21:59.100 because they don't believe you you're out of integrity. Okay. Now here's the third, maybe third

00:22:05.120 and fourth challenge. There's a book called the assertiveness workbook. If you know that you fall

00:22:10.160 into one of the three camps I first talked about aggressive, that you railroad people passive,

00:22:14.460 that you let people railroad you or passive aggressive, that you're weak, but you're trying

00:22:18.220 to disguise and cloak it as being strong. Then I would challenge you to pick up a copy of the book,

00:22:22.940 the assertiveness workbook. All right. The assertiveness workbook. I don't think I have

00:22:26.720 it back there. I did at one point, but I think I actually lent my copy to somebody or, or, or,

00:22:31.960 or mailed it to him. I can't remember. I don't have it, but I need to get it again.

00:22:34.800 So go through the assertiveness workbook. And then there's, there's tasks and there's challenges

00:22:40.720 and things that you need to do in there that will really help improve you. Um, there's a couple

00:22:45.000 little, little things that you can do, um, that might actually help some other little challenges.

00:22:49.740 Uh, one is asking for a discount on anything that you purchase, asking for a discount. You would be

00:22:55.340 amazed at how much and how quickly that will build your assertiveness. Cause it's scary, right? It's

00:22:59.740 intimidating. You want to do that. And there's all kinds of baggage. Like, Oh, if I ask for a discount,

00:23:03.260 maybe I'm going to feel, uh, or they're going to interpret it as me being cheap, right? There's

00:23:08.220 all this mental and emotional baggage that comes into play, but that will help you practice

00:23:12.180 assertiveness, asking for discounts, every opportunity that you can. That's the first one.

00:23:17.780 The other one that I would give you as a, as an exercise is saying no to people's requests.

00:23:23.480 Not all of them, just things that don't align with you saying no to people's requests without

00:23:27.660 offering an explanation. That is very challenging to do because you think you owe somebody an explanation

00:23:32.880 and you don't, if somebody asks you, if you can do something and you can't, or frankly,

00:23:37.400 you just don't want to, then simply say, no, I'm not going to be able to do that this weekend

00:23:43.600 or tonight or whatever it is and leave it there. That's going to be very, very difficult at first,

00:23:48.540 but then you'll realize it's not the end of the world. It's not as hard. And you're conditioning

00:23:52.200 your ability to be assertiveness with people, to speak what's on your mind, to share the truth,

00:23:58.580 but to do it in a way that serves you and other people. Well, I mean, if you, here's one thing,

00:24:03.300 if people ask you for favors and you say yes, but you don't really want to do it, you're either

00:24:07.880 going to do it in a half-assed manner, which is not good, or you're just going to drop the ball

00:24:11.940 and you're not going to do it at all, which undermines your influence, right? Because now

00:24:15.720 you're lying. So you told them you would do something and then you don't show up because

00:24:19.900 you didn't want to do it in the first place, but you were too afraid to say no. And, and now they

00:24:24.560 don't believe you. Like, so what's worse, just saying no in the first place or saying yes.

00:24:29.020 And then letting them down and lying to an individual who's relying upon you guys. This

00:24:33.100 is a much needed lesson. All right. I know that maybe this one isn't as interesting or fascinating

00:24:37.240 as some of the podcasts I've done in the past, but I'm telling you, if you want to lead, you want to

00:24:41.120 inspire and motivate and influence other people. And you should, because that third component of being a

00:24:46.520 man is all about influence and leadership. Then you're going to need to learn and have to learn how to be

00:24:52.420 more effective in the way that you communicate with other people with a level of kindness and

00:24:57.340 empathy and understanding. And at the root of it, a desire to serve those people. You don't serve

00:25:03.400 anybody by being aggressive. You don't serve anybody by being passive. You don't serve anybody by being

00:25:10.120 passive aggressive, but you serve yourself and you serve others by being assertive in the way that you

00:25:16.420 communicate your message, your thoughts, your ideas, uh, and, and the things that you want to share with

00:25:22.040 people. All right. So we're going to sign out with that. Uh, you've got some challenges,

00:25:25.500 do an inventory on yourself, have the people closest to you, do an inventory with you,

00:25:31.020 pick up a copy of the assertiveness workbook and go through those couple of challenges that I issued,

00:25:36.440 which was, uh, asking for a discount, every opportunity you can very challenging, believe it

00:25:41.500 or not. Some may be challenging for, for more, for some people more than others. Uh, and then also

00:25:46.780 saying no without providing any sort of explanation, but there's other strategies and, um, exercises

00:25:52.600 that you'll go through in the assertiveness workbook. I hope that helps guys. If you have

00:25:55.460 questions, comments, thoughts, ideas, concerns, whatever, uh, hit me up on Instagram, Facebook,

00:26:00.160 YouTube, Twitter, wherever you're doing the social media thing, hit me an email, join our Facebook group,

00:26:05.800 join the iron council. That's our exclusive brotherhood, which is really, really growing lately.

00:26:09.480 Uh, you can check that out at order of man.com slash iron council, uh, outside of that, just

00:26:14.420 connect with us on the, on the socials and we'll stay, uh, we'll stay connected and engaged over

00:26:18.800 there. All right, guys, I'm going to sign out. We'll be back next week for our interview series,

00:26:22.440 but until then go out there, take action and become the man you are meant to be.

00:26:26.940 Thank you for listening to the order of man podcast. You're ready to take charge of your life

00:26:31.460 and be more of the man you were meant to be. We invite you to join the order at order of man.com.

00:26:39.480 We'll be right back.

Order of Man - May 01, 2020

One Powerful Strategy to Build Influence with Others ｜ FRIDAY FIELD NOTES

Episode Stats

Summary

Transcript