Order of Man - OoM 011： How to Find, Work With, and Succeed With Mentors with Geoff Woods

00:00:00.140 Jim Rohn has said, you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.

00:00:03.880 The only question left is, are you surrounded by the right people?

00:00:07.240 And it's not even really a question of if we should work with mentors, but rather who those mentors should be.

00:00:11.800 So our guest today, Jeff Woods, talks with us about how to find, work with, and succeed with mentors.

00:00:17.460 You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest.

00:00:20.440 Embrace your fears and boldly chart your own path.

00:00:23.360 When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time, every time.

00:00:27.480 You are not easily deterred or defeated, rugged, resilient, strong.

00:00:32.880 This is your life. This is who you are.

00:00:35.420 This is who you will become at the end of the day.

00:00:38.340 And after all is said and done, you can call yourself a man.

00:00:45.040 I'm Ryan Michler, and I want to welcome you to the Order of Man podcast.

00:00:48.080 Glad you're back here visiting today.

00:00:49.700 This show is going to be incredible because of the topic that we're going to cover.

00:00:53.840 It has literally transformed my life, and I know if you take this information to heart,

00:00:57.620 and most, most importantly, apply what you learned today, it will transform your life too.

00:01:03.500 I don't have any new announcements.

00:01:04.820 Just want to give you the invite to subscribe to the show.

00:01:07.940 I've got about 10 more shows recorded for you guys with some incredible guests.

00:01:12.540 So be sure to head to orderofman.com slash iTunes to subscribe there so you don't miss those.

00:01:17.860 And of course, leave us a rating and review while you are there.

00:01:20.620 Please, if you would.

00:01:21.320 Now, before we meet our guest today, I want you to know that you can check out the notes

00:01:25.100 for this show at orderofman.com slash 011 as in episode 11.

00:01:31.120 So today, I introduce Jeff Woods.

00:01:34.520 Jeff is the host of The Mentee Podcast, and his goal is to document his personal journey

00:01:39.740 from being an employee to becoming an entrepreneur.

00:01:42.120 He highlights the conversations that he has with high-level mentors.

00:01:46.040 He's become an expert at showing others how they can upgrade their personal connections

00:01:49.560 and, of course, also surround themselves with heavy-hitting mentors.

00:01:54.080 This man is truly a giver, and he truly practices what he preaches.

00:01:58.540 We've had the occasion of talking multiple times and always blown away by his ability to give

00:02:03.860 and the knowledge that he's going to share with us today.

00:02:07.280 Jeff, hey, I'm so excited to have you on the show today.

00:02:09.100 Thanks for joining us.

00:02:09.660 Hey, thank you.

00:02:10.320 I appreciate it.

00:02:11.000 So we don't know each other real well, but from the conversations we've had, I've really enjoyed

00:02:16.880 what we've talked about, and you're all about finding mentors and developing relationships

00:02:24.660 with other people who can help us get to where we want to be.

00:02:28.840 Did I get that right?

00:02:29.620 Yes.

00:02:30.440 Tell me a little bit about why that work's important to you and how you got into it.

00:02:34.040 Sure, so a little background on me.

00:02:36.300 My day job is medical device sales, which is a job I love.

00:02:39.400 It's awesome.

00:02:41.160 But at the end of 2013, one of my colleagues, he was 35 at the time.

00:02:45.280 He had a stroke, and luckily he survived. 0.93

00:02:47.420 But that just shook me up because here I am, wife, baby, mortgage, going, holy crap.

00:02:53.660 What happens to my wife and family if something happens to me?

00:02:57.100 And what happens if something happens to my job?

00:03:00.520 And in the very next week, my company makes a change to my commission structure, and overnight

00:03:04.580 my income is slashed by 40%.

00:03:06.760 Oh my goodness.

00:03:08.040 Yeah, so in that moment, I'm just like, holy crap, we've got to start building passive income

00:03:13.100 yesterday.

00:03:14.540 And at that time, I heard the Jim Rohn quote that you are the average of the five people

00:03:19.000 you spend the most time with.

00:03:21.700 Right.

00:03:21.920 And I'm going, who are my five, and are they where I want to be?

00:03:28.260 And the answer was no.

00:03:29.260 And so I set out on this journey just to surround myself with people who are where I want to

00:03:36.640 be.

00:03:38.020 And in a very quick period of time, all of a sudden, I'm being mentored by high-level

00:03:44.200 CEOs, really successful entrepreneurs, and these guys are pouring into me on a consistent

00:03:49.100 basis.

00:03:49.580 And when you have people at that level guiding you directly, it's amazing how fast you accelerate.

00:03:55.780 And that's why I launched my podcast, The Mentee, just to document my journey going from employee

00:04:00.340 to entrepreneur, building passive income on the sides, and recording the actual conversations

00:04:05.180 that I have with these mentors that most people never get to have.

00:04:08.140 Well, the reason I like your podcast so much is because in listening to it, you can tell

00:04:12.960 that you're genuinely interested in hearing what it is they have to say.

00:04:16.980 And I kind of feel like I'm in the room with you guys gaining all this knowledge.

00:04:21.020 So I totally agree.

00:04:22.900 How did you get in front of these top-level CEOs and go from, here's my five average guys,

00:04:30.520 two, now I'm working with these powerhouse, successful men.

00:04:35.940 How do you make that transition?

00:04:37.800 Great question.

00:04:38.420 And this is really where I want the value to be for you, the listeners, today.

00:04:42.160 My hope is that after listening to this interview, you'll be able to press the pause button and

00:04:47.220 take a few specific actions that will actually get you results, which is fun.

00:04:52.220 So it started by taking a step back and just getting clear on what it was that I wanted.

00:04:58.160 You know, I'm in this moment where I know that I have to build passive income, but what

00:05:02.980 does that look like?

00:05:03.600 What does that mean?

00:05:04.800 And I knew at that time that I wanted it to come from real estate investing.

00:05:09.320 So right away, I just started trying to take down properties, getting in escrow, out of

00:05:14.940 escrow, in escrow, out of escrow.

00:05:16.480 I wasted a ton of time, a ton of money and hardship, both emotionally, mentally, you name

00:05:22.680 it.

00:05:23.780 Right.

00:05:24.180 And then I'm going, all right, I've got this quote.

00:05:26.520 Wait, I'm the average of the five people, I'm the average of the five people.

00:05:30.340 Oh, wait, how many real estate investors do I hang out with right now?

00:05:34.380 A zero.

00:05:36.080 Yeah.

00:05:36.760 So I just went out.

00:05:37.960 So that's step one, finding out what it is you want, right?

00:05:41.240 And then I just started talking about it.

00:05:44.340 So in everyday conversations, when people say, what's up, Jeff, or what's new, or what's

00:05:50.020 going on?

00:05:50.820 Most of us always reply with, not much.

00:05:53.160 What's going on with you?

00:05:54.020 What's up with you?

00:05:54.660 Right, the basic answer.

00:05:55.900 It's a standard way to start a conversation, and it's a waste of time, frankly.

00:05:59.880 I encourage you, the listeners, after you get clarity on what it is that you want, start

00:06:03.880 talking about it.

00:06:04.940 And the subtle shift is just when people say, what's up, Brian?

00:06:10.080 You say, you know, a lot recently, I've been interested in getting into real estate, and

00:06:14.480 I want to surround myself with successful real estate investors.

00:06:17.600 Right.

00:06:18.160 No, it's a great strategy.

00:06:19.520 So why did you choose real estate?

00:06:21.240 You said you knew you wanted to get into that.

00:06:22.820 Why did you decide that would be the direction you would head initially?

00:06:26.480 I read Rich Dad, Poor Dad when I was a kid, and I crush audiobooks like it's my job.

00:06:31.220 And I forget what the stats are, but like 98% of the ultra-wealthy get their money from

00:06:38.440 real estate and business.

00:06:40.120 So real estate is a backbone of every Uber successful person's portfolio.

00:06:45.540 Hmm, should I reinvent the wheel, or should I just do what's already been proven to work?

00:06:51.080 Right.

00:06:51.340 Right.

00:06:51.760 So that was it.

00:06:53.900 And the funny story, the very first time I did this in terms of talking about it, I was

00:06:58.600 in front of this guy who is a pretty heavy hitter himself, and I'm nervous to meet with

00:07:04.540 this guy.

00:07:04.920 Just why is he meeting with me?

00:07:06.180 Oh, what do I do?

00:07:06.920 And the first words out of his mouth are, what can I do to help you?

00:07:10.160 What are you working on?

00:07:10.820 Where do you need help?

00:07:12.100 Really?

00:07:12.980 And I just spat it out so nervously like, I'm looking to get into real estate, and I

00:07:18.040 want to surround myself with successful real estate investors.

00:07:21.040 And the guy sits back in his chair and just starts rocking back and forth, and I can tell

00:07:24.540 the wheels are turning in his head.

00:07:26.200 And he goes, you know what?

00:07:27.380 Come to my house tomorrow.

00:07:28.320 I want to introduce you to somebody.

00:07:30.340 Oh, wow.

00:07:31.360 I go to his house, and he introduces me to Dave Michael.

00:07:35.360 Dave and I form a relationship.

00:07:36.700 I learned that Dave has done over 10,000 transactions in his career.

00:07:43.680 Oh, my goodness.

00:07:44.000 The guy is a multi, multi real estate investor, multi, multi-million dollar real estate investor,

00:07:50.640 and ends up taking me under his wing.

00:07:53.740 You fast forward six months from there, and now I'm a partner with him, and we own a building

00:07:56.780 in North Carolina.

00:07:58.360 Oh, my goodness.

00:07:58.940 That's awesome.

00:07:59.460 Yeah.

00:07:59.560 So have you, has it all been success for you in real estate?

00:08:02.560 Have there been some downsides to it?

00:08:03.920 What's been your experience?

00:08:04.880 Well, this is the first project we've done, and so far it's looking really good, but this

00:08:08.760 is the value surrounding yourself with the right people.

00:08:11.320 A lot of people talk about, oh, I lost so much in real estate, and it's like they didn't

00:08:14.560 know what the frick they were doing.

00:08:16.140 Dave won't buy a building or a property if he doesn't get it for 50 cents on the dollar.

00:08:23.260 If it's over 50 cents on the dollar, he does not buy it.

00:08:26.080 Because no matter what happens in the economy with the market, if he buys it for 50 cents

00:08:31.180 on the dollar, the thing is still going to cash flow.

00:08:34.580 So at that point, it's not betting.

00:08:36.400 You know the numbers when you're getting in, and that's what the most successful investors

00:08:40.280 do.

00:08:40.760 They only buy when the numbers pencil.

00:08:45.080 And so I would have never had access to a deal like this if I didn't start focusing

00:08:50.260 on surrounding myself with those people.

00:08:52.360 And very quickly, I realized that I want to be in real estate as an investor, but I don't

00:08:57.720 want that to be my profession.

00:08:59.540 And I just continued down this path, and the path is being illuminated for me on what I

00:09:05.580 really want to do when I grow up.

00:09:07.720 You would have never had access to that, but then you also, even if you did have access to

00:09:14.320 it, you would have messed it up because you didn't have somebody there walking you through

00:09:17.700 the obstacles and pitfalls that you could have avoided by working closely with somebody

00:09:22.860 who knows what they're doing, right?

00:09:24.240 Bingo.

00:09:25.380 So why do you think men are not very deliberate about this?

00:09:30.280 I know I've heard this quote by Jim Rohn that you talked about, you are the average of the

00:09:33.940 five people you spend the most time with.

00:09:35.280 But I think we get into very comfortable, very habitual lifestyles, and we surround ourselves

00:09:43.480 with people.

00:09:44.360 And as guys, we just aren't deliberate about who we should be spending our time with.

00:09:50.260 Why do you think that is?

00:09:51.240 I don't think it's, well, number one, it is not taught in schools.

00:09:54.580 It is not taught by most of our parents.

00:09:58.960 So it's just, it's not pervasive in our culture.

00:10:02.880 However, but here's the deal.

00:10:05.220 I mean, ever since you were born, you've been put in circumstances and you end up forming

00:10:09.760 relationships and all the, most of the friendships you have right now, I call them your friends

00:10:13.740 of circumstance.

00:10:14.780 You happened to grow up down the street from them, or you happened to go to school with

00:10:19.560 them.

00:10:19.740 They happened to be in your fraternity in college.

00:10:23.160 Those are friends of circumstance and not to say that they're bad people, but they were

00:10:27.960 just in an area and you formed a relationship.

00:10:30.100 Now I'm asking you to wipe the slate clean.

00:10:32.960 I'm asking you to say, where do you want to be when you grow up?

00:10:37.400 Where do you want, what do you want your life to look like?

00:10:39.160 And I want you to be honest, dream big.

00:10:41.800 Do you, do you want to be earning a million dollars?

00:10:43.500 Do you want to be earning a hundred million dollars?

00:10:45.100 Do you want to be earning a billion dollars?

00:10:47.140 Do you, you want to be in finance?

00:10:50.140 Do you want to be in real estate?

00:10:51.080 Do you want to be in sales?

00:10:52.120 Do you want to groom cats for a living?

00:10:55.280 I don't know.

00:10:56.240 What do you want to do?

00:10:57.080 Right.

00:10:57.960 Are the people you're hanging around with, are the people that you are seeking advice

00:11:02.260 from, are they where you want to be?

00:11:05.540 Right.

00:11:06.260 And the answer is no, they're not.

00:11:07.940 Never.

00:11:08.300 They're hardly ever.

00:11:09.000 Hardly ever.

00:11:09.920 The answer is no.

00:11:10.800 You need, and I'm not saying you don't, you, you nix all your friends and they're out

00:11:15.960 of your life, but I'm saying that when it comes to seeking counsel, seeking advice on

00:11:20.280 what you should be doing, you need to ask it from people who are qualified to answer.

00:11:24.980 And those are only the people who are where you want to be.

00:11:27.620 You know, what's funny is I'm a financial advisor by trade and I can't tell you how often

00:11:32.340 I've, I've given somebody a strategy or a financial plan.

00:11:35.780 And then they've said, well, let me, let me look it over.

00:11:40.440 Let me talk with it with, you know, a brother or a parent or a sibling or whatever it may

00:11:45.940 be.

00:11:46.560 And I always ask the question, tell me about that person you're going to ask.

00:11:49.900 Are they in the position financially you want to be in?

00:11:51.620 And more often than not, the answer is no.

00:11:54.000 And my knee jerk reaction is, well, why are you going to ask them about this plan?

00:11:58.560 And if it's something you should do, they're only going to give you advice to get them to

00:12:02.220 where they currently are.

00:12:03.800 And you don't want to be there.

00:12:05.380 Yep.

00:12:05.620 Yep.

00:12:06.060 I've got a funny story to tell.

00:12:08.200 There's this guy, he's a professional golfer and he wants to make some adjustments to a

00:12:13.520 swing.

00:12:14.260 And so he goes to some of his buddies, you know, they're pros as well.

00:12:18.400 And he's going, all right, what do I need to do with my swing?

00:12:20.900 And they're, they're telling him, oh, try this and try that and try that.

00:12:23.920 There was one problem.

00:12:25.240 The guys he were, he was asking for help on a swing.

00:12:28.220 They're professional baseball players.

00:12:31.060 Yeah.

00:12:31.700 Sure.

00:12:32.020 They give him advice on, on what to do with his swing, but it's a completely different

00:12:35.920 swing.

00:12:36.700 And he's wondering why he's not getting the results.

00:12:39.260 You talked a little bit about how to build the relationships that, you know, those deliberate

00:12:44.900 relationships around the people you want to be with.

00:12:47.700 Part of it is just bringing it up, right?

00:12:49.520 Are there some other strategies that you've used or implemented?

00:12:52.900 Let's say that I identify somebody who I feel like, you know, I've got to be in front of

00:12:58.680 this person and I've got to know this person.

00:13:00.940 I'm going to have a conversation with this person.

00:13:02.660 How do I then reach out and connect with that person?

00:13:04.980 So the reaching out and connecting, it's twofold.

00:13:07.060 Either a, you get, you find out what types of events or organizations they're a part of

00:13:11.840 and you attend them.

00:13:12.600 That's, that's, that is, if you can physically get in the same room, that it will boost your

00:13:17.780 odds of success drastically.

00:13:20.960 So that's one.

00:13:21.980 But the other is if you have to reach out via email or phone, um, or you know somebody who

00:13:27.320 knows them and you ask them to make a connection, referrals are always good.

00:13:30.180 But the approach is almost always the same.

00:13:34.340 You have to be more interested than interesting, right?

00:13:38.480 You have to be more interested in them than trying to get them to think that you are interesting.

00:13:44.560 And I am willing to bet that for anybody who's listening, if I challenged you to go reach

00:13:49.260 out to somebody, your approach would probably be like, this is, this is who I am.

00:13:53.900 This is what I do.

00:13:55.360 And then, uh, this is what I'm hoping to get from you.

00:13:58.140 So it's, it's very standard because you know what?

00:14:01.680 I'm trying to tell them who I am, why I'm qualified, why they would want to spend time

00:14:04.820 with me.

00:14:05.280 But what you're doing there is you're trying to get them to think that you're interesting.

00:14:09.020 Right.

00:14:09.860 Being interested means asking questions about them, doing a little research ahead of time

00:14:16.200 and saying, you know, Ryan, I know you're, I know you come from a financial background that

00:14:21.380 you're really focusing on driving order of man and impacting the male population out there.

00:14:25.840 And I know that your podcast is just starting out and I wanted to connect you with somebody

00:14:31.200 who I think could help you with your listenership.

00:14:33.260 Before I do, I wanted just to learn a little bit more about your podcast.

00:14:36.700 Could we spend 10 minutes on the phone so I can try to figure out where you're trying

00:14:39.580 to go so I can make the right connection for you?

00:14:41.960 What are the odds you're going to reply to me positively?

00:14:44.860 Of course.

00:14:45.380 Yeah.

00:14:45.820 Very high.

00:14:46.420 Why?

00:14:47.400 Because it's, it's for me, right?

00:14:49.300 It's, it's how, how I can exceed, you know, succeed at something that's important for

00:14:53.900 me.

00:14:56.320 Well, that's what you did.

00:14:57.160 So as we met, and I don't know if you, I don't know if you know this, if you remember

00:15:00.640 this, but, uh, we connected through, I think we've connected through Facebook, through some

00:15:05.920 mutual friends and the very first interaction that you and I had was you sent me either

00:15:11.380 a message or a text and you said, Hey Ryan, love what you're doing with the show.

00:15:15.600 How can I help you right now?

00:15:17.100 What is your biggest struggle right now?

00:15:18.840 And that's how we initially connected.

00:15:20.180 So you were looking out for me first and leading with value.

00:15:22.960 Bingo.

00:15:24.140 So the quick, Oh, go ahead.

00:15:25.560 I want it.

00:15:26.460 One of my mentors says, if you change the way you look at things, the things you look at

00:15:29.300 will change.

00:15:30.100 I'll say it again.

00:15:30.980 Change the way you look at things.

00:15:32.200 The things you look at will change.

00:15:33.940 Look at every single relationship like your bank account.

00:15:37.480 Can you go take money out of the ATM if you don't put money in it first?

00:15:41.660 No, no, it doesn't come out.

00:15:42.980 You have to make deposits in order to make withdrawals.

00:15:46.160 I made a deposit in Ryan.

00:15:48.660 I saw that his podcast had just come out.

00:15:50.840 I've had success with my podcast.

00:15:52.700 There were people who guided me and helped me.

00:15:55.160 I'm grateful for them.

00:15:56.040 I want to pay it forward.

00:15:57.300 So I wanted to add value to Ryan right off the bat.

00:16:01.060 Now in the process, we've been able to form a relationship and now he's adding value to

00:16:05.120 me by giving me a platform, his platform to share my message with.

00:16:10.040 Right.

00:16:10.660 Get it?

00:16:10.800 So here's one of the questions and one of the struggles that I've had personally as

00:16:16.020 I've looked to develop relationships with potential mentors in my life.

00:16:20.460 If they're exceeding in a certain area, my knee-jerk reaction is to say, great, I could

00:16:25.480 see how that would benefit me.

00:16:27.020 I understand that I need to lead with value, but what do I have and what could I offer this

00:16:35.180 person?

00:16:35.660 Great, great question.

00:16:38.560 And this will become a really big question when you start reaching out to really high

00:16:43.480 level people.

00:16:44.640 What in the world could I, Jeff Woods, possibly offer this major CEO?

00:16:51.940 What in the world do I, what could I give them?

00:16:55.520 Again, change the way you look at things, the things you look at will change.

00:16:59.200 I had a conversation with Jeff Hoffman.

00:17:01.640 He was on the founding team of Priceline.com and I point blank asked him, I'd like to look,

00:17:06.440 Jeff, you've been so successful.

00:17:08.500 Why in the world are you on the phone with me?

00:17:10.840 Why are you talking to me?

00:17:12.400 And he said, you know what, Jeff?

00:17:15.120 At one point in time, I had mentors who were light years ahead of me and they reached back

00:17:19.900 and grabbed my hand and helped pull me forward.

00:17:21.880 And I'm at the point in my life now where I feel like it is my obligation.

00:17:25.760 It is my obligation to reach back, grab the hand of the next generation of entrepreneurs

00:17:31.980 and help pull them forward because I believe they will change the world.

00:17:35.360 And so if I can help accelerate their success, then that's value.

00:17:40.260 What he is saying and what all of my other heavy hitter mentors have said is that they

00:17:46.860 get value by seeing me succeed.

00:17:50.600 Hmm, that's interesting.

00:17:52.720 So know that you as a mentee approaching a mentor, you are adding value to them by giving

00:18:00.440 them the opportunity to help you.

00:18:04.080 Well, and I think I look at successful guys and you and others that I've interacted with

00:18:09.160 and I've been so overwhelmed with their desire and ability to help me and want to see me succeed.

00:18:16.400 I think we have, just as humans in general, have a tendency to believe that, you know, 0.98

00:18:21.820 successful people or wealthy people are arrogant or they're jerks or they crush the little guy. 0.96

00:18:27.020 But my experience actually tells me the exact opposite. 0.99

00:18:30.420 In fact, if anything, the reason they're successful is because they want to pull up others around them.

00:18:37.680 There's a quote, if you want to go fast, go alone.

00:18:40.940 If you want to go far, go together.

00:18:42.800 Yeah, great point.

00:18:43.560 There, you know, there are the mavericks out there who just go at it on their own and they'll

00:18:47.700 achieve success.

00:18:48.520 But you know what?

00:18:49.540 It's not very sustainable.

00:18:51.500 The people who truly have long-term success, they collaborate.

00:18:56.860 They add value to others and they take people with them.

00:18:59.900 That's interesting.

00:19:00.840 You know, one of the things that I did today is I released a article on orderofman.com about

00:19:07.440 17 men's sites, websites that guys should be aware of.

00:19:13.100 And I connected with these other 17 website owners and authors.

00:19:18.200 And that post, as of today, has more than tripled the amount of visits and views and

00:19:26.780 interaction than any other post in the last two months combined.

00:19:31.320 And it's all because of collaboration, working with these other guys who are already successful.

00:19:37.620 It's helping them because they're getting visibility and it's helping me because they're

00:19:41.640 helping me raise that awareness of what we're doing.

00:19:44.580 So I can totally see how what you're saying makes sense.

00:19:47.340 There you go.

00:19:48.480 Let's look at the opposite side of this because I think a lot of the times we know that we

00:19:53.460 should interact with successful people and we should look for mentors.

00:19:57.760 But then I think on the other side is that there's people in our lives that are holding

00:20:02.220 us back, that are dragging us down and we recognize it.

00:20:04.920 And sometimes we fail to take action.

00:20:06.600 How do you eliminate or at least reduce your exposure to those who are not helping you get

00:20:12.900 to where you want to be?

00:20:13.780 That is a fantastic question.

00:20:15.400 And this is all of us are going to deal with this.

00:20:18.220 The first thing you have to do is be aware.

00:20:20.660 We all have this thermometer, this internal thermometer called our feelings.

00:20:24.480 How are we feeling when you interact with somebody?

00:20:27.020 Do you feel charged or do you feel drained?

00:20:32.020 If that person drains you, I cannot emphasize how important it is that you make an adjustment.

00:20:38.540 We're not even going to get into this today, but I'm just telling you that cutting out the

00:20:42.580 negativity is vital. 0.93

00:20:45.220 If you value your success, if you value, if you want any shot of living the life that you

00:20:50.560 want to be living, this is a must.

00:20:52.480 You cannot do it without cutting them out.

00:20:53.980 Now, I'm not saying cut all the negative people, just goodbye.

00:20:58.400 You try to rehab the relationship first.

00:21:00.800 You've got to be able to say, hey, you know, when we talk, I don't feel good.

00:21:05.780 And this is what I'm hoping for to get out of this relationship.

00:21:08.900 And here's what I'd like to see changed and see how they respond.

00:21:12.960 And for the people who don't respond well, you start distancing yourself.

00:21:19.180 Maybe you don't call them as often.

00:21:21.740 Maybe you take a few extra days to call them back or you don't call them back.

00:21:27.040 You cannot afford to have the negativity in your life.

00:21:31.600 The unfortunate thing is oftentimes this comes from family members.

00:21:36.000 It does.

00:21:36.420 Yeah, they're hard.

00:21:37.320 Those negative relationships are harder to leave than the positive ones are harder to

00:21:41.880 obtain, right?

00:21:43.360 Right.

00:21:43.620 Absolutely true.

00:21:44.500 So if it is family, if it's somebody who is relational to you and you can't just nix them,

00:21:48.400 which I have nixed people out of my life, then you just got to distance yourself. 0.86

00:21:54.240 But you need to understand how important it is that you do this.

00:21:59.120 It's a hard thing to do.

00:22:01.180 But by just saying, I don't need to do that, like, again, 98% of the people who are truly

00:22:08.320 wealthy got it from real estate.

00:22:09.840 Who am I to try to reinvent the wheel?

00:22:11.940 Same thing here.

00:22:13.400 You want to be successful, you got to nix it.

00:22:15.520 There's no avoiding it.

00:22:16.740 One of the things that I tell my kids, and especially my seven-year-old, because he's old

00:22:21.380 enough to understand what I'm talking about, is I say to him, you've got to live your life

00:22:26.100 by design, not by default.

00:22:29.760 And I think that's the trap we fall into, is we think that we're just a product of our

00:22:35.000 surroundings or what happens to us, and we aren't willing to take responsibility for the

00:22:41.540 fact that we can be a player.

00:22:43.200 We are the biggest piece in our own lives, right?

00:22:45.980 Amen to that.

00:22:46.700 I want to go back because you said you started asking yourself questions when you realized

00:22:52.680 that, hey, my job could go away.

00:22:55.040 Things could change.

00:22:55.980 I need to create some passive income.

00:22:58.160 You said you started asking yourself some questions to get you to where you are today.

00:23:02.160 What are some of the questions that you were asking yourself?

00:23:04.700 Well, where do I want to be?

00:23:06.500 You know, what do I really want my life to look like?

00:23:08.380 Let's wave the magic wand, and I get to wipe your slate clean.

00:23:16.220 All the things on your resume that lead you to the job you have now are gone, and you have

00:23:23.140 the skill set that you have.

00:23:24.680 What do you want to do?

00:23:26.600 Assuming money was no object, what do you want your life to look like?

00:23:30.200 And when you start to ask those questions, and then, you know, this is where we all get

00:23:33.440 hung up, we go, well, I don't know how to start getting there.

00:23:37.100 I don't know what the right step is to take.

00:23:40.220 Well, I'm here to tell you what that right step is.

00:23:42.420 Start surrounding yourself with those people because they will tell you what the right step

00:23:49.100 is, and you can trust that it is correct because they have taken it, and it has gotten

00:23:53.700 them the results.

00:23:54.760 How would the quality of your life change if all of a sudden, no matter what your goal

00:23:59.940 is, you had a network of people around you who could say, you know what?

00:24:03.620 You know what, Ryan?

00:24:04.340 You can do it, and I know you can do it because I was where you were.

00:24:09.020 These are the steps that I took, and these are the results that I got, and you know what?

00:24:12.500 I'm going to hold your hand along the way.

00:24:15.100 I think one of the things that I personally struggle with is I think it takes some humility

00:24:22.240 to be in that situation, and I think by default, I tend to be confident and maybe even arrogant

00:24:29.260 and prideful at times.

00:24:30.840 I think a lot of men could probably relate with that, but I think humility is the key,

00:24:36.240 understanding that, oh, man, maybe I could actually learn something from somebody else

00:24:40.980 and then implement it in the way that they would implement it, not the way you would have

00:24:45.780 it changed.

00:24:46.920 You're touching on something really important, and specifically for this audience being predominantly

00:24:50.840 male, you know, we've got egos, big, big egos, and Ryan, you mentioned you listen to my podcast.

00:24:57.600 You know, what is one of the things that you really enjoy about it?

00:25:00.720 Yeah, well, I like the fact that you're intrigued.

00:25:04.320 I can tell that you're genuinely interested in learning and that you're learning probably

00:25:08.260 just as much, if not more, than what your audience is.

00:25:10.480 So most people, when they get a platform, they want to position themselves as the experts.

00:25:14.660 I do not.

00:25:15.540 I'm just like you, but the difference is I've got a Rolodex.

00:25:21.120 I've got insanely successful people mentoring me, and I get vulnerable.

00:25:27.060 I talk about when my bank account is almost at zero and why I'm grateful that I ran out

00:25:31.640 of money.

00:25:32.960 And when you hear that, are you like, what's up with this guy?

00:25:36.680 I don't like him because he's being so honest and vulnerable.

00:25:39.080 No, no, of course not.

00:25:40.780 You learn to like and trust me because I am vulnerable.

00:25:45.160 The moral of the story here, guys, is drop the ego.

00:25:50.020 Get vulnerable.

00:25:51.620 Ask for help.

00:25:53.540 People resonate with each other when you're raw, when you're a human being, not some facade,

00:26:01.300 not some personality.

00:26:03.440 That's right.

00:26:03.980 That is the reason.

00:26:05.000 We want that connection.

00:26:05.480 Yeah.

00:26:05.680 That's the reason when you when you ask, like, why is it that many of us have a hard time

00:26:09.440 doing this?

00:26:10.000 It's because you're in your own way.

00:26:12.160 Mm hmm.

00:26:12.560 You need to drop the ego and learn to ask for help.

00:26:16.020 Well, and I can see that with you in inside of, you know, even just the name of your podcast,

00:26:20.340 the mentee podcast.

00:26:21.800 You know, most of them out there are the mentor or the coach or the expert or the guru podcast

00:26:26.480 or whatever else it may be.

00:26:27.920 So I appreciate that about what you're doing.

00:26:29.720 Mm hmm.

00:26:30.740 I'll tell you a story.

00:26:31.760 Um, one of my mentors, probably one of my closest mentors, his name's Dave Meltzer.

00:26:36.460 This guy was the CEO of the company that brought the first cell phone to the United States.

00:26:42.240 Then he went on to become the CEO of the largest sports agency in the world.

00:26:46.900 And then they went on to make a movie on it called Jerry Maguire.

00:26:49.620 This guy is a super heavy hitter and I'm hearing him speak and it is just hitting me straight

00:26:55.640 in the crosshairs, like just resonating so deeply.

00:26:58.560 And I knew I had to talk to him.

00:26:59.940 I had to approach him and I didn't know what to say.

00:27:02.920 And all the limiting beliefs we talked about today, what could I do?

00:27:05.200 What could I say?

00:27:05.860 What could I do to add value to him?

00:27:07.280 They're all popping up in my mind.

00:27:09.320 And ultimately, when it ended up coming out of my mouth when I got in front of him, as

00:27:13.160 I said, Dave, first, I want to thank you because your words, they resonated with me deeply.

00:27:17.820 And I am going through this point in my life where I'm truly lost.

00:27:23.640 And after hearing your words, I think you can really help me.

00:27:26.040 And I don't know what I could possibly do to add value to you.

00:27:29.720 But if you'd be willing to spend 20 minutes to guide me a little bit, I will find a way.

00:27:35.420 What do you think he said?

00:27:37.120 I'm sure he took you up on that.

00:27:38.340 He took me up on it.

00:27:39.220 Turns out, in the process, I find out we're basically next door neighbors.

00:27:43.520 Oh, is that right?

00:27:44.400 Yeah, and now we meet on a weekly basis.

00:27:46.200 I'll be with him tomorrow.

00:27:48.640 That approach is what resonated with him.

00:27:51.940 Because I asked him a few months down the road, you know, why did you say yes?

00:27:54.860 He goes, how could I say no?

00:27:57.020 Right.

00:27:57.360 He felt like he could not say no.

00:27:59.980 Here's what's interesting is the way you're getting me to think about this is that, and

00:28:05.360 we're talking a little bit about humility and understanding that you can learn from other

00:28:08.780 people, is that a lot of the times as men, I think we're supposed to be strong.

00:28:14.400 We're supposed to have courage, and we think that if we're prideful or those things, that's

00:28:19.660 courageous.

00:28:20.180 That's the man we're supposed to be.

00:28:21.480 But what I'm hearing you say is that it's actually probably the opposite way around, is

00:28:26.280 that humility is actually courageous.

00:28:28.180 I mean, for you to go out and put yourself out and go talk to somebody because it's uncomfortable,

00:28:33.500 that's courageous, not the other way around.

00:28:35.620 Absolutely.

00:28:36.640 You know, I'll flip it.

00:28:38.660 You've got two people in front of you.

00:28:40.580 One person is boasting about their accomplishments and how great they are and how they never 0.99

00:28:45.580 mess up and all those things, and you're looking at them and you're just going, bullshit. 1.00

00:28:49.080 Bullshit. 1.00

00:28:49.520 You're afraid. 1.00

00:28:50.860 The other person sits there and goes, you know what?

00:28:54.120 I've got big dreams.

00:28:55.940 But frankly, I suck at this, this, this, and this, but I'm really good at this, and this

00:29:00.880 is what I'm doing about it.

00:29:03.040 Who's the person you respect more?

00:29:05.460 Of course.

00:29:06.000 The guy who's real.

00:29:06.640 Who's the person that you think will actually make the moves?

00:29:10.060 Yeah, same thing.

00:29:11.020 Exactly.

00:29:12.220 What are some of the lessons that have really stuck in your mind as you've surrounded yourself

00:29:18.380 with successful people?

00:29:19.880 Are there a handful of lessons that you've heard and learned that you think we need to

00:29:23.300 be aware of?

00:29:24.100 Yeah.

00:29:24.740 Or reoccurring lessons?

00:29:25.800 The first one is being more interested than interesting, which, I forget, did we touch upon

00:29:30.680 that today already?

00:29:31.700 We did.

00:29:32.120 We talked about that a little bit.

00:29:33.260 Um, so truly being more interested in others just as, as a lead.

00:29:38.800 All the second is always adding value.

00:29:41.060 I approach every single interaction.

00:29:44.100 I consciously think, what can I do to add value to this person?

00:29:49.320 What can I do to find out what this person needs help with and try to add value to them?

00:29:57.300 And sometimes, especially if you're reaching high for these heavy hitters, you adding value

00:30:03.300 doesn't mean that you have the Rolodex for them or that you have the right connections.

00:30:07.280 But it's sometimes it's just the offer to show that you're even thinking that way adds

00:30:13.840 value.

00:30:14.560 Make sense?

00:30:15.980 Right.

00:30:16.240 Yeah, absolutely.

00:30:17.500 So let's say we surround ourselves with the right people or we have a mentor.

00:30:21.180 One of the things that you said, and I imagine that this is a pet peeve of anybody who's doing

00:30:25.240 mentoring, is that they're giving advice, but the advice is not being implemented, right?

00:30:31.480 And so are there some other things that, some pitfalls or some things that we just need to

00:30:36.380 be aware of or avoid if we actually find ourselves and get ourselves into a mentorship type

00:30:42.460 relationship?

00:30:42.980 Yes, yes, yes.

00:30:44.320 Sorry for making the cow sound, but you really struck a chord there.

00:30:48.480 When a mentor spends time with you, they are making an investment in you.

00:30:54.420 What is our most precious commodity that all of us have?

00:30:58.040 Our time.

00:30:58.620 Our time.

00:30:59.160 When they invest their time in you, they want to see a return on that investment, just like

00:31:06.780 any monetary investment, you want to see a return.

00:31:10.120 The return comes in the form of you taking action, you getting results, and you sharing

00:31:17.060 the results back with the mentor.

00:31:19.540 And when you say share results, you mean just explain what happened, correct?

00:31:25.540 Is that my understanding correctly?

00:31:27.080 Example.

00:31:27.880 Dave Meltzer spends time with me, and he gives me some guidance.

00:31:33.080 I go and I take action on it.

00:31:35.440 I get results.

00:31:36.820 I then come back to Dave two weeks later and say, Dave, two weeks ago, you told me that

00:31:40.700 I needed to drop my ego, that I needed to get out of my own way, and that I needed to

00:31:45.820 do X, Y, and Z.

00:31:48.020 I did those things.

00:31:49.720 And I want you to know how much I appreciate it, because I got these results, and I couldn't

00:31:54.560 have done it without you.

00:31:55.400 So thank you so much.

00:31:56.820 What do you think I need to be doing next?

00:31:59.540 Right.

00:31:59.980 He's been rewarded for what he's done, and you're giving him that reward, so it's encouraging

00:32:05.320 him to continue, if I'm understanding correctly.

00:32:07.360 Yes.

00:32:07.940 Yes.

00:32:08.200 I mean, I give my time out to mentor others, because I believe it's the right thing to do,

00:32:15.000 because I get value out of it, but it drives me nuts when I give people counsel, and they

00:32:20.960 don't take action, or I never hear back.

00:32:23.540 It's like, dude, I just spent a half hour on the phone with you.

00:32:26.300 What the heck happened?

00:32:28.960 Yeah, or the other one that I've heard before is, oh, no, I've tried that.

00:32:32.760 It doesn't work.

00:32:34.120 You know what I mean?

00:32:34.720 Like, you give an advice, and they say, I've tried that.

00:32:36.860 It doesn't work for me.

00:32:38.200 It's like, well, or I don't think that would work in my case, right?

00:32:42.140 Yeah, well, we can unpack that can of worms if you want to, but I don't think you want

00:32:47.100 to.

00:32:47.680 I don't know if we want to travel down that, just based on your response.

00:32:50.540 Yeah.

00:32:51.020 So you're talking a lot about giving feedback and having communication.

00:32:56.180 Let's talk about communication, because I think that's something, as men, that we all

00:33:00.160 need to improve our style.

00:33:02.580 We all need to improve our skill when it comes to communication.

00:33:05.600 What are some effective ways to communicate, to learn, and to develop that skill of communication?

00:33:12.920 Sure.

00:33:13.320 I will start by saying, and if you can remember this, if you can consider this, I think it'll

00:33:19.120 help you more than anything with your communication.

00:33:21.600 The quality of your communication is the way it is received, not the way it was intended.

00:33:29.520 How many times do you go to your wife or your significant other or your friend and say, say

00:33:40.940 something, and you mean it with the best intention, and they get offended, or they take it the wrong

00:33:45.620 way, and then you get offended because they got offended, and all of a sudden, you're fighting.

00:33:49.980 It's you, man.

00:33:51.240 It's you. 1.00

00:33:52.400 You screwed up. 0.95

00:33:54.020 It's not them.

00:33:55.240 You didn't communicate effectively.

00:33:57.460 You need to communicate in a way that people get it.

00:34:01.940 Does that make sense?

00:34:03.320 Yeah.

00:34:03.760 And how do you know that?

00:34:05.580 How do you know if someone's understanding the way that you intended it to come across,

00:34:10.520 or how do you know how that person responds to whatever it is you're going to be sharing

00:34:14.620 with them?

00:34:15.060 You're not always going to know, but for the most part, you're going to see the response.

00:34:17.940 You're going to see how are they responding.

00:34:20.760 Are they responding the way you imagined them responding? 0.62

00:34:23.640 If the answer is no, you screwed up. 0.95

00:34:25.920 It's you.

00:34:27.780 So in that moment, ask better questions.

00:34:30.680 You're going to get better answers.

00:34:32.340 Instead of just asking, well, what the heck is wrong with them?

00:34:36.940 Right.

00:34:37.620 Ask a different question.

00:34:39.160 Ask, what could I have done differently to elicit a different response?

00:34:44.820 I love that you're talking about questions.

00:34:46.740 One of my favorite quotes is, the quality of your life will be determined by the quality

00:34:52.820 of your questions.

00:34:54.120 Tony, right?

00:34:54.720 Tony Robbins?

00:34:55.900 Yes, it is.

00:34:56.800 Well, okay.

00:34:57.440 I don't want to confirm that.

00:34:58.520 Somebody told me that, and I haven't looked it up.

00:35:00.200 I need to look it up.

00:35:00.900 It is.

00:35:00.920 Because I told that to somebody else before.

00:35:02.400 It is.

00:35:02.740 And you know where I heard, ask better questions, get better answers?

00:35:06.140 Is it the same?

00:35:06.960 From the guy who was the executive vice president for Tony Robbins and built his business.

00:35:10.020 Okay.

00:35:11.020 All right, good.

00:35:11.460 Good.

00:35:11.900 I'm glad you confirmed that with me because I need to know where that is because I use

00:35:15.960 that quote all the time.

00:35:17.480 Yeah, yeah.

00:35:18.940 I heard it first from Gene, and he's a mentor of mine.

00:35:22.900 So what are some areas of life?

00:35:25.000 Obviously, you're surrounding yourself with quality mentors.

00:35:28.200 What are some areas of life that you personally have mentors in?

00:35:32.320 So I've got general life guidance, and that also kind of spills into the law of attraction

00:35:42.460 and creating everything you want in your life rapidly and accurately.

00:35:46.620 So that's one.

00:35:47.800 I certainly have a guy in real estate, Dave Michael.

00:35:51.640 I have a guy for Gene, the guy who was Tony's executive VP, is really guiding me on how I

00:35:59.820 launch my coaching business and coach others.

00:36:02.700 So he's training me how they trained everybody for Tony Robbins.

00:36:06.580 General relationships, mentor, a guy that I go to just to talk about life and how do you

00:36:15.380 treat your wife, and several others. 0.51

00:36:19.000 I mean, it really, the list is getting long.

00:36:21.900 And I think sometimes, I even think that a mentor, that's like a formal relationship, but

00:36:27.660 it doesn't always have to be that way, right?

00:36:30.160 I mean, there's different capacities for how you could have these quote-unquote mentors in

00:36:34.500 your life.

00:36:34.880 Absolutely.

00:36:35.180 I mean, and let's get it straight.

00:36:37.260 At no point in any of these did I drop down on one knee and say, Dave, will you be my mentor?

00:36:42.980 Right.

00:36:43.500 It didn't work like that.

00:36:44.540 It started out with just a conversation.

00:36:46.800 My goal was to get a conversation with this person.

00:36:50.600 And in that conversation, we set up another conversation and another one.

00:36:56.080 And over time, it develops into a mentor-mentee relationship.

00:37:00.440 And some of them I talk to on a weekly basis.

00:37:03.460 Some of them I talk to once every three months because that's all that I need at that time.

00:37:09.820 You know, it's not like it has to be a scheduled, regular thing.

00:37:12.880 Right.

00:37:13.300 It's just, it's different.

00:37:15.140 It's different for every circumstance.

00:37:17.580 It's just like other relationships.

00:37:19.320 I mean, some work out well and you hit it off right and you continue to converse and have

00:37:23.040 conversations and spend time together.

00:37:24.700 And others, they just don't.

00:37:26.500 Right.

00:37:26.720 And so those fade away.

00:37:27.860 It's not like a, like a defined start date and a defined end date.

00:37:31.420 Correct.

00:37:31.760 Well, this has been such a, a good discussion.

00:37:35.460 I know that mentors and, and finding the right people to surround yourselves with is a topic

00:37:41.680 that's important to me and the guys that are listening to this podcast.

00:37:44.720 If they want to learn more about how to connect with you and more about your podcast, how do

00:37:50.040 they do that?

00:37:50.460 Sure, sure.

00:37:50.880 She got a few options.

00:37:51.960 See, the podcast is called The Mentee, M-E-N-T-E-E.

00:37:56.540 So that's an iTunes and Stitcher.

00:37:58.720 I put something together for you guys because as I look back on the things, the specific steps

00:38:06.120 that I took to land the relationships that I have, I realized that there were really seven

00:38:11.380 steps I took to create my seven figure network.

00:38:14.360 And so I put together this action guide that you can go through to help you get clarity on

00:38:19.780 what you want, where you need to be looking, what you should be saying, and it gets results.

00:38:24.180 I've got plenty of testimonials to back it up.

00:38:27.280 So all you have to do is go to findthebestmentors.com and you will have that chance to get that free

00:38:34.280 action guide.

00:38:35.060 And, you know, it'll also take you down a few other web pages.

00:38:37.720 And for those of you that it's a fit, you know, my, I ended up interviewing my listeners

00:38:41.120 and they all kept telling me the same thing.

00:38:43.640 We want something that shows us how to do this.

00:38:46.860 We want a course.

00:38:47.620 And based on their specific feedback, I actually partnered with them to write the content.

00:38:54.280 I'm putting together a course and I'm opening it up right now for the next round.

00:38:59.340 And so when you go to that website, you'll also have an opportunity to learn more about

00:39:03.000 the course as well.

00:39:04.620 And then what we'll do is we'll make sure we have links to that in the show notes so

00:39:07.640 everybody who's listening can find out how to connect with you because I think what you're

00:39:11.040 talking about is so, so valuable.

00:39:12.780 So I've got one last question for you.

00:39:14.380 And I don't even know if I prepared you for this question, so I'm going to put you on

00:39:17.480 the spot.

00:39:18.420 And that is, what do you think it means to be a man?

00:39:24.820 What do I think it means to be a man?

00:39:26.660 I like the question.

00:39:27.520 I think it means having the honest conversation with yourself to be able to drop the ego, drop

00:39:35.560 the facade, look yourself in the mirror and say, what are my strengths?

00:39:40.040 What are my weaknesses? 0.99

00:39:41.680 Where do I suck? 0.97

00:39:43.660 And where am I just freaking awesome? 0.96

00:39:45.960 And have the humility and the confidence to approach others and ask for help so that you

00:39:53.280 can live the life that you want to be living, whether, you know, whether that's in the traditional

00:39:58.580 man run household, carry wife over shoulder to bed.

00:40:03.100 Just kidding.

00:40:05.360 You know, whatever that dream is to be audacious enough to actually go for it.

00:40:11.640 I love it.

00:40:12.540 Great explanation.

00:40:13.900 Jeff, I've appreciated having you on the show.

00:40:15.520 I've appreciated all the insights.

00:40:17.080 Again, we'll make all the links available.

00:40:18.660 Thank you for being on today.

00:40:19.840 Of course.

00:40:20.280 Thanks, Ryan.

00:40:20.680 Appreciate the time.

00:40:23.180 Guys, if you did not take notes for this show, head over to orderman.com slash 011.

00:40:28.380 I've got all the links, the notes, the resources, everything that you'll need to get more information

00:40:32.980 about what we learned.

00:40:34.200 And if your wheels are not turning right now on who your mentor should be in your life, I

00:40:39.440 don't know what else will convince you that having a mentor is a step that every man should

00:40:43.980 take.

00:40:44.300 Now, next week, I've got a very special guest interview lined up.

00:40:48.220 He's one of my favorite people on this planet.

00:40:51.440 I'm not going to ruin the surprise for you, but I will tell you that the conversation is

00:40:54.800 going to be real.

00:40:55.960 It's going to be authentic.

00:40:57.380 It's going to be genuine.

00:40:58.860 And it's going to be all about what it means to be a man.

00:41:01.220 So, I have two asks today.

00:41:03.760 Number one, leave us a rating and review, if you would, at orderman.com slash iTunes.

00:41:09.060 And hit me up also on Facebook and Twitter.

00:41:12.320 Let me know what you think of the show.

00:41:13.780 Connect with me.

00:41:14.520 I try to be very responsive on those things and connect with you guys.

00:41:17.820 So, I look forward to hearing from you.

00:41:19.460 Thanks again for being here today.

00:41:20.760 And I will look forward to being with you here next week.

00:41:24.460 Thank you for listening to the Order of Man podcast.

00:41:27.420 If you're ready to take charge of your life and be more of the man you were meant to be,

00:41:31.100 we invite you to join the order at orderofman.com.

Order of Man - June 02, 2015

OoM 011： How to Find, Work With, and Succeed With Mentors with Geoff Woods

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