OoM 011: How to Find, Work With, and Succeed With Mentors with Geoff Woods
Episode Stats
Words per Minute
193.64537
Summary
In this episode of The Mentee Podcast, Ryan Michler talks with Jeff Woods about how to find, work with, and succeed with mentors. Jim Rohn has said that you are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with. The only question left is, are you surrounded by the right people? And it s not even a question of if we should work with mentors, but rather who those mentors should be.
Transcript
00:00:00.140
Jim Rohn has said, you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.
00:00:03.880
The only question left is, are you surrounded by the right people?
00:00:07.240
And it's not even really a question of if we should work with mentors, but rather who those mentors should be.
00:00:11.800
So our guest today, Jeff Woods, talks with us about how to find, work with, and succeed with mentors.
00:00:17.460
You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest.
00:00:20.440
Embrace your fears and boldly chart your own path.
00:00:23.360
When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time, every time.
00:00:27.480
You are not easily deterred or defeated, rugged, resilient, strong.
00:00:35.420
This is who you will become at the end of the day.
00:00:38.340
And after all is said and done, you can call yourself a man.
00:00:45.040
I'm Ryan Michler, and I want to welcome you to the Order of Man podcast.
00:00:49.700
This show is going to be incredible because of the topic that we're going to cover.
00:00:53.840
It has literally transformed my life, and I know if you take this information to heart,
00:00:57.620
and most, most importantly, apply what you learned today, it will transform your life too.
00:01:04.820
Just want to give you the invite to subscribe to the show.
00:01:07.940
I've got about 10 more shows recorded for you guys with some incredible guests.
00:01:12.540
So be sure to head to orderofman.com slash iTunes to subscribe there so you don't miss those.
00:01:17.860
And of course, leave us a rating and review while you are there.
00:01:21.320
Now, before we meet our guest today, I want you to know that you can check out the notes
00:01:25.100
for this show at orderofman.com slash 011 as in episode 11.
00:01:34.520
Jeff is the host of The Mentee Podcast, and his goal is to document his personal journey
00:01:39.740
from being an employee to becoming an entrepreneur.
00:01:42.120
He highlights the conversations that he has with high-level mentors.
00:01:46.040
He's become an expert at showing others how they can upgrade their personal connections
00:01:49.560
and, of course, also surround themselves with heavy-hitting mentors.
00:01:54.080
This man is truly a giver, and he truly practices what he preaches.
00:01:58.540
We've had the occasion of talking multiple times and always blown away by his ability to give
00:02:03.860
and the knowledge that he's going to share with us today.
00:02:07.280
Jeff, hey, I'm so excited to have you on the show today.
00:02:11.000
So we don't know each other real well, but from the conversations we've had, I've really enjoyed
00:02:16.880
what we've talked about, and you're all about finding mentors and developing relationships
00:02:24.660
with other people who can help us get to where we want to be.
00:02:30.440
Tell me a little bit about why that work's important to you and how you got into it.
00:02:36.300
My day job is medical device sales, which is a job I love.
00:02:41.160
But at the end of 2013, one of my colleagues, he was 35 at the time.
00:02:47.420
But that just shook me up because here I am, wife, baby, mortgage, going, holy crap.
00:02:53.660
What happens to my wife and family if something happens to me?
00:02:57.100
And what happens if something happens to my job?
00:03:00.520
And in the very next week, my company makes a change to my commission structure, and overnight
00:03:08.040
Yeah, so in that moment, I'm just like, holy crap, we've got to start building passive income
00:03:14.540
And at that time, I heard the Jim Rohn quote that you are the average of the five people
00:03:21.920
And I'm going, who are my five, and are they where I want to be?
00:03:29.260
And so I set out on this journey just to surround myself with people who are where I want to
00:03:38.020
And in a very quick period of time, all of a sudden, I'm being mentored by high-level
00:03:44.200
CEOs, really successful entrepreneurs, and these guys are pouring into me on a consistent
00:03:49.580
And when you have people at that level guiding you directly, it's amazing how fast you accelerate.
00:03:55.780
And that's why I launched my podcast, The Mentee, just to document my journey going from employee
00:04:00.340
to entrepreneur, building passive income on the sides, and recording the actual conversations
00:04:05.180
that I have with these mentors that most people never get to have.
00:04:08.140
Well, the reason I like your podcast so much is because in listening to it, you can tell
00:04:12.960
that you're genuinely interested in hearing what it is they have to say.
00:04:16.980
And I kind of feel like I'm in the room with you guys gaining all this knowledge.
00:04:22.900
How did you get in front of these top-level CEOs and go from, here's my five average guys,
00:04:30.520
two, now I'm working with these powerhouse, successful men.
00:04:38.420
And this is really where I want the value to be for you, the listeners, today.
00:04:42.160
My hope is that after listening to this interview, you'll be able to press the pause button and
00:04:47.220
take a few specific actions that will actually get you results, which is fun.
00:04:52.220
So it started by taking a step back and just getting clear on what it was that I wanted.
00:04:58.160
You know, I'm in this moment where I know that I have to build passive income, but what
00:05:04.800
And I knew at that time that I wanted it to come from real estate investing.
00:05:09.320
So right away, I just started trying to take down properties, getting in escrow, out of
00:05:16.480
I wasted a ton of time, a ton of money and hardship, both emotionally, mentally, you name
00:05:24.180
And then I'm going, all right, I've got this quote.
00:05:26.520
Wait, I'm the average of the five people, I'm the average of the five people.
00:05:30.340
Oh, wait, how many real estate investors do I hang out with right now?
00:05:37.960
So that's step one, finding out what it is you want, right?
00:05:44.340
So in everyday conversations, when people say, what's up, Jeff, or what's new, or what's
00:05:55.900
It's a standard way to start a conversation, and it's a waste of time, frankly.
00:05:59.880
I encourage you, the listeners, after you get clarity on what it is that you want, start
00:06:04.940
And the subtle shift is just when people say, what's up, Brian?
00:06:10.080
You say, you know, a lot recently, I've been interested in getting into real estate, and
00:06:14.480
I want to surround myself with successful real estate investors.
00:06:22.820
Why did you decide that would be the direction you would head initially?
00:06:26.480
I read Rich Dad, Poor Dad when I was a kid, and I crush audiobooks like it's my job.
00:06:31.220
And I forget what the stats are, but like 98% of the ultra-wealthy get their money from
00:06:40.120
So real estate is a backbone of every Uber successful person's portfolio.
00:06:45.540
Hmm, should I reinvent the wheel, or should I just do what's already been proven to work?
00:06:53.900
And the funny story, the very first time I did this in terms of talking about it, I was
00:06:58.600
in front of this guy who is a pretty heavy hitter himself, and I'm nervous to meet with
00:07:06.920
And the first words out of his mouth are, what can I do to help you?
00:07:12.980
And I just spat it out so nervously like, I'm looking to get into real estate, and I
00:07:18.040
want to surround myself with successful real estate investors.
00:07:21.040
And the guy sits back in his chair and just starts rocking back and forth, and I can tell
00:07:31.360
I go to his house, and he introduces me to Dave Michael.
00:07:36.700
I learned that Dave has done over 10,000 transactions in his career.
00:07:44.000
The guy is a multi, multi real estate investor, multi, multi-million dollar real estate investor,
00:07:53.740
You fast forward six months from there, and now I'm a partner with him, and we own a building
00:07:59.560
So have you, has it all been success for you in real estate?
00:08:04.880
Well, this is the first project we've done, and so far it's looking really good, but this
00:08:08.760
is the value surrounding yourself with the right people.
00:08:11.320
A lot of people talk about, oh, I lost so much in real estate, and it's like they didn't
00:08:16.140
Dave won't buy a building or a property if he doesn't get it for 50 cents on the dollar.
00:08:23.260
If it's over 50 cents on the dollar, he does not buy it.
00:08:26.080
Because no matter what happens in the economy with the market, if he buys it for 50 cents
00:08:31.180
on the dollar, the thing is still going to cash flow.
00:08:36.400
You know the numbers when you're getting in, and that's what the most successful investors
00:08:45.080
And so I would have never had access to a deal like this if I didn't start focusing
00:08:52.360
And very quickly, I realized that I want to be in real estate as an investor, but I don't
00:08:59.540
And I just continued down this path, and the path is being illuminated for me on what I
00:09:07.720
You would have never had access to that, but then you also, even if you did have access to
00:09:14.320
it, you would have messed it up because you didn't have somebody there walking you through
00:09:17.700
the obstacles and pitfalls that you could have avoided by working closely with somebody
00:09:25.380
So why do you think men are not very deliberate about this?
00:09:30.280
I know I've heard this quote by Jim Rohn that you talked about, you are the average of the
00:09:35.280
But I think we get into very comfortable, very habitual lifestyles, and we surround ourselves
00:09:44.360
And as guys, we just aren't deliberate about who we should be spending our time with.
00:09:51.240
I don't think it's, well, number one, it is not taught in schools.
00:09:58.960
So it's just, it's not pervasive in our culture.
00:10:05.220
I mean, ever since you were born, you've been put in circumstances and you end up forming
00:10:09.760
relationships and all the, most of the friendships you have right now, I call them your friends
00:10:14.780
You happened to grow up down the street from them, or you happened to go to school with
00:10:19.740
They happened to be in your fraternity in college.
00:10:23.160
Those are friends of circumstance and not to say that they're bad people, but they were
00:10:32.960
I'm asking you to say, where do you want to be when you grow up?
00:10:37.400
Where do you want, what do you want your life to look like?
00:10:41.800
Do you, do you want to be earning a million dollars?
00:10:43.500
Do you want to be earning a hundred million dollars?
00:10:57.960
Are the people you're hanging around with, are the people that you are seeking advice
00:11:10.800
You need, and I'm not saying you don't, you, you nix all your friends and they're out
00:11:15.960
of your life, but I'm saying that when it comes to seeking counsel, seeking advice on
00:11:20.280
what you should be doing, you need to ask it from people who are qualified to answer.
00:11:24.980
And those are only the people who are where you want to be.
00:11:27.620
You know, what's funny is I'm a financial advisor by trade and I can't tell you how often
00:11:32.340
I've, I've given somebody a strategy or a financial plan.
00:11:35.780
And then they've said, well, let me, let me look it over.
00:11:40.440
Let me talk with it with, you know, a brother or a parent or a sibling or whatever it may
00:11:46.560
And I always ask the question, tell me about that person you're going to ask.
00:11:49.900
Are they in the position financially you want to be in?
00:11:54.000
And my knee jerk reaction is, well, why are you going to ask them about this plan?
00:11:58.560
And if it's something you should do, they're only going to give you advice to get them to
00:12:08.200
There's this guy, he's a professional golfer and he wants to make some adjustments to a
00:12:14.260
And so he goes to some of his buddies, you know, they're pros as well.
00:12:18.400
And he's going, all right, what do I need to do with my swing?
00:12:20.900
And they're, they're telling him, oh, try this and try that and try that.
00:12:25.240
The guys he were, he was asking for help on a swing.
00:12:32.020
They give him advice on, on what to do with his swing, but it's a completely different
00:12:36.700
And he's wondering why he's not getting the results.
00:12:39.260
You talked a little bit about how to build the relationships that, you know, those deliberate
00:12:44.900
relationships around the people you want to be with.
00:12:49.520
Are there some other strategies that you've used or implemented?
00:12:52.900
Let's say that I identify somebody who I feel like, you know, I've got to be in front of
00:13:00.940
I'm going to have a conversation with this person.
00:13:02.660
How do I then reach out and connect with that person?
00:13:04.980
So the reaching out and connecting, it's twofold.
00:13:07.060
Either a, you get, you find out what types of events or organizations they're a part of
00:13:12.600
That's, that's, that is, if you can physically get in the same room, that it will boost your
00:13:21.980
But the other is if you have to reach out via email or phone, um, or you know somebody who
00:13:27.320
knows them and you ask them to make a connection, referrals are always good.
00:13:34.340
You have to be more interested than interesting, right?
00:13:38.480
You have to be more interested in them than trying to get them to think that you are interesting.
00:13:44.560
And I am willing to bet that for anybody who's listening, if I challenged you to go reach
00:13:49.260
out to somebody, your approach would probably be like, this is, this is who I am.
00:13:55.360
And then, uh, this is what I'm hoping to get from you.
00:13:58.140
So it's, it's very standard because you know what?
00:14:01.680
I'm trying to tell them who I am, why I'm qualified, why they would want to spend time
00:14:05.280
But what you're doing there is you're trying to get them to think that you're interesting.
00:14:09.860
Being interested means asking questions about them, doing a little research ahead of time
00:14:16.200
and saying, you know, Ryan, I know you're, I know you come from a financial background that
00:14:21.380
you're really focusing on driving order of man and impacting the male population out there.
00:14:25.840
And I know that your podcast is just starting out and I wanted to connect you with somebody
00:14:31.200
who I think could help you with your listenership.
00:14:33.260
Before I do, I wanted just to learn a little bit more about your podcast.
00:14:36.700
Could we spend 10 minutes on the phone so I can try to figure out where you're trying
00:14:39.580
to go so I can make the right connection for you?
00:14:41.960
What are the odds you're going to reply to me positively?
00:14:49.300
It's, it's how, how I can exceed, you know, succeed at something that's important for
00:14:57.160
So as we met, and I don't know if you, I don't know if you know this, if you remember
00:15:00.640
this, but, uh, we connected through, I think we've connected through Facebook, through some
00:15:05.920
mutual friends and the very first interaction that you and I had was you sent me either
00:15:11.380
a message or a text and you said, Hey Ryan, love what you're doing with the show.
00:15:20.180
So you were looking out for me first and leading with value.
00:15:26.460
One of my mentors says, if you change the way you look at things, the things you look at
00:15:33.940
Look at every single relationship like your bank account.
00:15:37.480
Can you go take money out of the ATM if you don't put money in it first?
00:15:42.980
You have to make deposits in order to make withdrawals.
00:15:57.300
So I wanted to add value to Ryan right off the bat.
00:16:01.060
Now in the process, we've been able to form a relationship and now he's adding value to
00:16:05.120
me by giving me a platform, his platform to share my message with.
00:16:10.800
So here's one of the questions and one of the struggles that I've had personally as
00:16:16.020
I've looked to develop relationships with potential mentors in my life.
00:16:20.460
If they're exceeding in a certain area, my knee-jerk reaction is to say, great, I could
00:16:27.020
I understand that I need to lead with value, but what do I have and what could I offer this
00:16:38.560
And this will become a really big question when you start reaching out to really high
00:16:44.640
What in the world could I, Jeff Woods, possibly offer this major CEO?
00:16:51.940
What in the world do I, what could I give them?
00:16:55.520
Again, change the way you look at things, the things you look at will change.
00:17:01.640
He was on the founding team of Priceline.com and I point blank asked him, I'd like to look,
00:17:15.120
At one point in time, I had mentors who were light years ahead of me and they reached back
00:17:19.900
and grabbed my hand and helped pull me forward.
00:17:21.880
And I'm at the point in my life now where I feel like it is my obligation.
00:17:25.760
It is my obligation to reach back, grab the hand of the next generation of entrepreneurs
00:17:31.980
and help pull them forward because I believe they will change the world.
00:17:35.360
And so if I can help accelerate their success, then that's value.
00:17:40.260
What he is saying and what all of my other heavy hitter mentors have said is that they
00:17:52.720
So know that you as a mentee approaching a mentor, you are adding value to them by giving
00:18:04.080
Well, and I think I look at successful guys and you and others that I've interacted with
00:18:09.160
and I've been so overwhelmed with their desire and ability to help me and want to see me succeed.
00:18:16.400
I think we have, just as humans in general, have a tendency to believe that, you know,
00:18:21.820
successful people or wealthy people are arrogant or they're jerks or they crush the little guy.
00:18:27.020
But my experience actually tells me the exact opposite.
00:18:30.420
In fact, if anything, the reason they're successful is because they want to pull up others around them.
00:18:37.680
There's a quote, if you want to go fast, go alone.
00:18:43.560
There, you know, there are the mavericks out there who just go at it on their own and they'll
00:18:51.500
The people who truly have long-term success, they collaborate.
00:18:56.860
They add value to others and they take people with them.
00:19:00.840
You know, one of the things that I did today is I released a article on orderofman.com about
00:19:07.440
17 men's sites, websites that guys should be aware of.
00:19:13.100
And I connected with these other 17 website owners and authors.
00:19:18.200
And that post, as of today, has more than tripled the amount of visits and views and
00:19:26.780
interaction than any other post in the last two months combined.
00:19:31.320
And it's all because of collaboration, working with these other guys who are already successful.
00:19:37.620
It's helping them because they're getting visibility and it's helping me because they're
00:19:41.640
helping me raise that awareness of what we're doing.
00:19:44.580
So I can totally see how what you're saying makes sense.
00:19:48.480
Let's look at the opposite side of this because I think a lot of the times we know that we
00:19:53.460
should interact with successful people and we should look for mentors.
00:19:57.760
But then I think on the other side is that there's people in our lives that are holding
00:20:02.220
us back, that are dragging us down and we recognize it.
00:20:06.600
How do you eliminate or at least reduce your exposure to those who are not helping you get
00:20:15.400
And this is all of us are going to deal with this.
00:20:20.660
We all have this thermometer, this internal thermometer called our feelings.
00:20:24.480
How are we feeling when you interact with somebody?
00:20:32.020
If that person drains you, I cannot emphasize how important it is that you make an adjustment.
00:20:38.540
We're not even going to get into this today, but I'm just telling you that cutting out the
00:20:45.220
If you value your success, if you value, if you want any shot of living the life that you
00:20:53.980
Now, I'm not saying cut all the negative people, just goodbye.
00:21:00.800
You've got to be able to say, hey, you know, when we talk, I don't feel good.
00:21:05.780
And this is what I'm hoping for to get out of this relationship.
00:21:08.900
And here's what I'd like to see changed and see how they respond.
00:21:12.960
And for the people who don't respond well, you start distancing yourself.
00:21:21.740
Maybe you take a few extra days to call them back or you don't call them back.
00:21:27.040
You cannot afford to have the negativity in your life.
00:21:31.600
The unfortunate thing is oftentimes this comes from family members.
00:21:37.320
Those negative relationships are harder to leave than the positive ones are harder to
00:21:44.500
So if it is family, if it's somebody who is relational to you and you can't just nix them,
00:21:48.400
which I have nixed people out of my life, then you just got to distance yourself.
00:21:54.240
But you need to understand how important it is that you do this.
00:22:01.180
But by just saying, I don't need to do that, like, again, 98% of the people who are truly
00:22:16.740
One of the things that I tell my kids, and especially my seven-year-old, because he's old
00:22:21.380
enough to understand what I'm talking about, is I say to him, you've got to live your life
00:22:29.760
And I think that's the trap we fall into, is we think that we're just a product of our
00:22:35.000
surroundings or what happens to us, and we aren't willing to take responsibility for the
00:22:43.200
We are the biggest piece in our own lives, right?
00:22:46.700
I want to go back because you said you started asking yourself questions when you realized
00:22:58.160
You said you started asking yourself some questions to get you to where you are today.
00:23:02.160
What are some of the questions that you were asking yourself?
00:23:06.500
You know, what do I really want my life to look like?
00:23:08.380
Let's wave the magic wand, and I get to wipe your slate clean.
00:23:16.220
All the things on your resume that lead you to the job you have now are gone, and you have
00:23:26.600
Assuming money was no object, what do you want your life to look like?
00:23:30.200
And when you start to ask those questions, and then, you know, this is where we all get
00:23:33.440
hung up, we go, well, I don't know how to start getting there.
00:23:40.220
Well, I'm here to tell you what that right step is.
00:23:42.420
Start surrounding yourself with those people because they will tell you what the right step
00:23:49.100
is, and you can trust that it is correct because they have taken it, and it has gotten
00:23:54.760
How would the quality of your life change if all of a sudden, no matter what your goal
00:23:59.940
is, you had a network of people around you who could say, you know what?
00:24:04.340
You can do it, and I know you can do it because I was where you were.
00:24:09.020
These are the steps that I took, and these are the results that I got, and you know what?
00:24:15.100
I think one of the things that I personally struggle with is I think it takes some humility
00:24:22.240
to be in that situation, and I think by default, I tend to be confident and maybe even arrogant
00:24:30.840
I think a lot of men could probably relate with that, but I think humility is the key,
00:24:36.240
understanding that, oh, man, maybe I could actually learn something from somebody else
00:24:40.980
and then implement it in the way that they would implement it, not the way you would have
00:24:46.920
You're touching on something really important, and specifically for this audience being predominantly
00:24:50.840
male, you know, we've got egos, big, big egos, and Ryan, you mentioned you listen to my podcast.
00:24:57.600
You know, what is one of the things that you really enjoy about it?
00:25:00.720
Yeah, well, I like the fact that you're intrigued.
00:25:04.320
I can tell that you're genuinely interested in learning and that you're learning probably
00:25:08.260
just as much, if not more, than what your audience is.
00:25:10.480
So most people, when they get a platform, they want to position themselves as the experts.
00:25:15.540
I'm just like you, but the difference is I've got a Rolodex.
00:25:21.120
I've got insanely successful people mentoring me, and I get vulnerable.
00:25:27.060
I talk about when my bank account is almost at zero and why I'm grateful that I ran out
00:25:32.960
And when you hear that, are you like, what's up with this guy?
00:25:36.680
I don't like him because he's being so honest and vulnerable.
00:25:40.780
You learn to like and trust me because I am vulnerable.
00:25:45.160
The moral of the story here, guys, is drop the ego.
00:25:53.540
People resonate with each other when you're raw, when you're a human being, not some facade,
00:26:05.680
That's the reason when you when you ask, like, why is it that many of us have a hard time
00:26:12.560
You need to drop the ego and learn to ask for help.
00:26:16.020
Well, and I can see that with you in inside of, you know, even just the name of your podcast,
00:26:21.800
You know, most of them out there are the mentor or the coach or the expert or the guru podcast
00:26:31.760
Um, one of my mentors, probably one of my closest mentors, his name's Dave Meltzer.
00:26:36.460
This guy was the CEO of the company that brought the first cell phone to the United States.
00:26:42.240
Then he went on to become the CEO of the largest sports agency in the world.
00:26:46.900
And then they went on to make a movie on it called Jerry Maguire.
00:26:49.620
This guy is a super heavy hitter and I'm hearing him speak and it is just hitting me straight
00:26:55.640
in the crosshairs, like just resonating so deeply.
00:26:59.940
I had to approach him and I didn't know what to say.
00:27:02.920
And all the limiting beliefs we talked about today, what could I do?
00:27:09.320
And ultimately, when it ended up coming out of my mouth when I got in front of him, as
00:27:13.160
I said, Dave, first, I want to thank you because your words, they resonated with me deeply.
00:27:17.820
And I am going through this point in my life where I'm truly lost.
00:27:23.640
And after hearing your words, I think you can really help me.
00:27:26.040
And I don't know what I could possibly do to add value to you.
00:27:29.720
But if you'd be willing to spend 20 minutes to guide me a little bit, I will find a way.
00:27:39.220
Turns out, in the process, I find out we're basically next door neighbors.
00:27:51.940
Because I asked him a few months down the road, you know, why did you say yes?
00:27:59.980
Here's what's interesting is the way you're getting me to think about this is that, and
00:28:05.360
we're talking a little bit about humility and understanding that you can learn from other
00:28:08.780
people, is that a lot of the times as men, I think we're supposed to be strong.
00:28:14.400
We're supposed to have courage, and we think that if we're prideful or those things, that's
00:28:21.480
But what I'm hearing you say is that it's actually probably the opposite way around, is
00:28:28.180
I mean, for you to go out and put yourself out and go talk to somebody because it's uncomfortable,
00:28:40.580
One person is boasting about their accomplishments and how great they are and how they never
00:28:45.580
mess up and all those things, and you're looking at them and you're just going, bullshit.
00:28:50.860
The other person sits there and goes, you know what?
00:28:55.940
But frankly, I suck at this, this, this, and this, but I'm really good at this, and this
00:29:06.640
Who's the person that you think will actually make the moves?
00:29:12.220
What are some of the lessons that have really stuck in your mind as you've surrounded yourself
00:29:19.880
Are there a handful of lessons that you've heard and learned that you think we need to
00:29:25.800
The first one is being more interested than interesting, which, I forget, did we touch upon
00:29:33.260
Um, so truly being more interested in others just as, as a lead.
00:29:44.100
I consciously think, what can I do to add value to this person?
00:29:49.320
What can I do to find out what this person needs help with and try to add value to them?
00:29:57.300
And sometimes, especially if you're reaching high for these heavy hitters, you adding value
00:30:03.300
doesn't mean that you have the Rolodex for them or that you have the right connections.
00:30:07.280
But it's sometimes it's just the offer to show that you're even thinking that way adds
00:30:17.500
So let's say we surround ourselves with the right people or we have a mentor.
00:30:21.180
One of the things that you said, and I imagine that this is a pet peeve of anybody who's doing
00:30:25.240
mentoring, is that they're giving advice, but the advice is not being implemented, right?
00:30:31.480
And so are there some other things that, some pitfalls or some things that we just need to
00:30:36.380
be aware of or avoid if we actually find ourselves and get ourselves into a mentorship type
00:30:44.320
Sorry for making the cow sound, but you really struck a chord there.
00:30:48.480
When a mentor spends time with you, they are making an investment in you.
00:30:54.420
What is our most precious commodity that all of us have?
00:30:59.160
When they invest their time in you, they want to see a return on that investment, just like
00:31:06.780
any monetary investment, you want to see a return.
00:31:10.120
The return comes in the form of you taking action, you getting results, and you sharing
00:31:19.540
And when you say share results, you mean just explain what happened, correct?
00:31:27.880
Dave Meltzer spends time with me, and he gives me some guidance.
00:31:36.820
I then come back to Dave two weeks later and say, Dave, two weeks ago, you told me that
00:31:40.700
I needed to drop my ego, that I needed to get out of my own way, and that I needed to
00:31:49.720
And I want you to know how much I appreciate it, because I got these results, and I couldn't
00:31:59.980
He's been rewarded for what he's done, and you're giving him that reward, so it's encouraging
00:32:05.320
him to continue, if I'm understanding correctly.
00:32:08.200
I mean, I give my time out to mentor others, because I believe it's the right thing to do,
00:32:15.000
because I get value out of it, but it drives me nuts when I give people counsel, and they
00:32:23.540
It's like, dude, I just spent a half hour on the phone with you.
00:32:28.960
Yeah, or the other one that I've heard before is, oh, no, I've tried that.
00:32:34.720
Like, you give an advice, and they say, I've tried that.
00:32:38.200
It's like, well, or I don't think that would work in my case, right?
00:32:42.140
Yeah, well, we can unpack that can of worms if you want to, but I don't think you want
00:32:47.680
I don't know if we want to travel down that, just based on your response.
00:32:51.020
So you're talking a lot about giving feedback and having communication.
00:32:56.180
Let's talk about communication, because I think that's something, as men, that we all
00:33:02.580
We all need to improve our skill when it comes to communication.
00:33:05.600
What are some effective ways to communicate, to learn, and to develop that skill of communication?
00:33:13.320
I will start by saying, and if you can remember this, if you can consider this, I think it'll
00:33:19.120
help you more than anything with your communication.
00:33:21.600
The quality of your communication is the way it is received, not the way it was intended.
00:33:29.520
How many times do you go to your wife or your significant other or your friend and say, say
00:33:40.940
something, and you mean it with the best intention, and they get offended, or they take it the wrong
00:33:45.620
way, and then you get offended because they got offended, and all of a sudden, you're fighting.
00:33:57.460
You need to communicate in a way that people get it.
00:34:05.580
How do you know if someone's understanding the way that you intended it to come across,
00:34:10.520
or how do you know how that person responds to whatever it is you're going to be sharing
00:34:15.060
You're not always going to know, but for the most part, you're going to see the response.
00:34:20.760
Are they responding the way you imagined them responding?
00:34:32.340
Instead of just asking, well, what the heck is wrong with them?
00:34:39.160
Ask, what could I have done differently to elicit a different response?
00:34:46.740
One of my favorite quotes is, the quality of your life will be determined by the quality
00:34:58.520
Somebody told me that, and I haven't looked it up.
00:35:02.740
And you know where I heard, ask better questions, get better answers?
00:35:06.960
From the guy who was the executive vice president for Tony Robbins and built his business.
00:35:11.900
I'm glad you confirmed that with me because I need to know where that is because I use
00:35:18.940
I heard it first from Gene, and he's a mentor of mine.
00:35:25.000
Obviously, you're surrounding yourself with quality mentors.
00:35:28.200
What are some areas of life that you personally have mentors in?
00:35:32.320
So I've got general life guidance, and that also kind of spills into the law of attraction
00:35:42.460
and creating everything you want in your life rapidly and accurately.
00:35:47.800
I certainly have a guy in real estate, Dave Michael.
00:35:51.640
I have a guy for Gene, the guy who was Tony's executive VP, is really guiding me on how I
00:36:02.700
So he's training me how they trained everybody for Tony Robbins.
00:36:06.580
General relationships, mentor, a guy that I go to just to talk about life and how do you
00:36:21.900
And I think sometimes, I even think that a mentor, that's like a formal relationship, but
00:36:30.160
I mean, there's different capacities for how you could have these quote-unquote mentors in
00:36:37.260
At no point in any of these did I drop down on one knee and say, Dave, will you be my mentor?
00:36:46.800
My goal was to get a conversation with this person.
00:36:50.600
And in that conversation, we set up another conversation and another one.
00:36:56.080
And over time, it develops into a mentor-mentee relationship.
00:37:03.460
Some of them I talk to once every three months because that's all that I need at that time.
00:37:09.820
You know, it's not like it has to be a scheduled, regular thing.
00:37:19.320
I mean, some work out well and you hit it off right and you continue to converse and have
00:37:27.860
It's not like a, like a defined start date and a defined end date.
00:37:35.460
I know that mentors and, and finding the right people to surround yourselves with is a topic
00:37:41.680
that's important to me and the guys that are listening to this podcast.
00:37:44.720
If they want to learn more about how to connect with you and more about your podcast, how do
00:37:51.960
See, the podcast is called The Mentee, M-E-N-T-E-E.
00:37:58.720
I put something together for you guys because as I look back on the things, the specific steps
00:38:06.120
that I took to land the relationships that I have, I realized that there were really seven
00:38:11.380
steps I took to create my seven figure network.
00:38:14.360
And so I put together this action guide that you can go through to help you get clarity on
00:38:19.780
what you want, where you need to be looking, what you should be saying, and it gets results.
00:38:27.280
So all you have to do is go to findthebestmentors.com and you will have that chance to get that free
00:38:35.060
And, you know, it'll also take you down a few other web pages.
00:38:37.720
And for those of you that it's a fit, you know, my, I ended up interviewing my listeners
00:38:43.640
We want something that shows us how to do this.
00:38:47.620
And based on their specific feedback, I actually partnered with them to write the content.
00:38:54.280
I'm putting together a course and I'm opening it up right now for the next round.
00:38:59.340
And so when you go to that website, you'll also have an opportunity to learn more about
00:39:04.620
And then what we'll do is we'll make sure we have links to that in the show notes so
00:39:07.640
everybody who's listening can find out how to connect with you because I think what you're
00:39:14.380
And I don't even know if I prepared you for this question, so I'm going to put you on
00:39:18.420
And that is, what do you think it means to be a man?
00:39:27.520
I think it means having the honest conversation with yourself to be able to drop the ego, drop
00:39:35.560
the facade, look yourself in the mirror and say, what are my strengths?
00:39:45.960
And have the humility and the confidence to approach others and ask for help so that you
00:39:53.280
can live the life that you want to be living, whether, you know, whether that's in the traditional
00:39:58.580
man run household, carry wife over shoulder to bed.
00:40:05.360
You know, whatever that dream is to be audacious enough to actually go for it.
00:40:23.180
Guys, if you did not take notes for this show, head over to orderman.com slash 011.
00:40:28.380
I've got all the links, the notes, the resources, everything that you'll need to get more information
00:40:34.200
And if your wheels are not turning right now on who your mentor should be in your life, I
00:40:39.440
don't know what else will convince you that having a mentor is a step that every man should
00:40:44.300
Now, next week, I've got a very special guest interview lined up.
00:40:51.440
I'm not going to ruin the surprise for you, but I will tell you that the conversation is
00:40:58.860
And it's going to be all about what it means to be a man.
00:41:03.760
Number one, leave us a rating and review, if you would, at orderman.com slash iTunes.
00:41:14.520
I try to be very responsive on those things and connect with you guys.
00:41:20.760
And I will look forward to being with you here next week.
00:41:24.460
Thank you for listening to the Order of Man podcast.
00:41:27.420
If you're ready to take charge of your life and be more of the man you were meant to be,
00:41:31.100
we invite you to join the order at orderofman.com.