Order of Man - OoM 016： The Power of Silence, Meditation, and the Mind with Commander Mark Divine

00:00:00.000 Guys, unless you can get crystal clear about what you want and how to create a plan to

00:00:03.080 accomplish your goals, it will be difficult to realize any measure of success in your

00:00:07.060 life.

00:00:07.340 So my guest today, retired Navy SEAL, Commander Mark Devine, makes the case for the power

00:00:11.520 of silence, meditation, and the mind when it comes to laying the framework for your

00:00:16.260 future success.

00:00:17.900 You're a man of action.

00:00:19.200 You live life to the fullest, embrace your fears, and boldly chart your own path.

00:00:23.580 When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time, every time.

00:00:27.680 You are not easily deterred or defeated, rugged, resilient, strong.

00:00:33.080 This is your life.

00:00:34.200 This is who you are.

00:00:35.620 This is who you will become.

00:00:37.280 At the end of the day, and after all is said and done, you can call yourself a man.

00:00:43.520 Guys, glad you're back today.

00:00:44.960 I'm Ryan McClure, the founder of Order Man, and we have got a great show lined up for you

00:00:48.420 today with a retired Navy SEAL all about silence, meditation, concentration, and the power of

00:00:53.820 the mind.

00:00:54.100 And you will want to make sure you stick around also to the end of this episode because Mark

00:00:57.820 gives us one of the best answers I've ever heard on what it means to be a man.

00:01:01.900 You can tell he's thought a lot about that, and he gets fired up about the topic.

00:01:05.520 Now, before we get into that episode, I do want to humbly ask that you leave us a rating

00:01:09.420 and review for the show.

00:01:10.660 If you've listened to some of the other episodes, I hope that you've gained some value from that.

00:01:14.020 And if you're listening for the first time today, I know that you'll see the value

00:01:17.640 that we bring on this show.

00:01:18.900 So head over to orderofman.com slash iTunes, and please, if you would, leave us a review.

00:01:23.760 And remember, as always, we've got the show notes for this show up, and they can be found

00:01:28.300 at orderofman.com slash 016.

00:01:32.380 Now, let's get to our guest.

00:01:34.420 Today, I have the pleasure of introducing retired Navy SEAL commander Mark Devine.

00:01:38.040 Mark's first career of all things was as a certified public accountant.

00:01:42.440 Four years later, he left the corporate world to pursue his vision to become a Navy SEAL

00:01:46.660 officer.

00:01:47.580 Now, at 26, he graduated as Honor Man, which is the number one ranked trainee of his SEAL

00:01:52.460 BUDS class.

00:01:53.640 He then served for nine years total on active duty and 11 as a reserve SEAL, retiring as

00:01:58.340 commander in 2011.

00:02:00.040 He is the founder of navyseals.com, which is a leading website for gear and information about

00:02:04.760 the SEALs.

00:02:05.640 And then later, he launched U.S. Tactical, which is a program that has been credited with

00:02:09.940 increasing the quality of Navy SEAL candidates, also reducing the attrition rate at BUDS by up

00:02:15.880 to 5%.

00:02:16.540 And then it was also the inspiration of his new program, which I'm excited about, which

00:02:20.580 is SEAL Fit.

00:02:21.540 So, Mark Devine is an accomplished martial artist, a yoga instructor, and also the author

00:02:25.760 of Unbeatable Mind and the Way of the SEAL, which we talk a little bit about in this episode.

00:02:35.400 Mark Devine, I'm so excited to have you on the show.

00:02:37.300 I'm honored to have you here.

00:02:38.120 Thanks for joining us today.

00:02:39.200 Thanks, Ryan.

00:02:39.760 Yeah, I'm pretty stoked.

00:02:40.980 Nice to meet you.

00:02:41.520 So, one of the things I'm really interested in is your business background, which is probably

00:02:47.220 the reason that you've been so successful in some of your endeavors outside of what you've

00:02:50.860 done with the Navy SEALs.

00:02:52.060 And you had somewhat of a different in into your Navy SEAL training and your military

00:02:58.740 career.

00:02:59.180 Can you tell me a little bit about your background?

00:03:00.940 Sure thing.

00:03:01.660 Yeah.

00:03:02.620 Most people are kind of surprised when I tell them that prior to being a Navy SEAL, a rootin'

00:03:07.760 tootin' frog man, I was actually a CPA, Certified Public Accountant in New York State.

00:03:12.940 How's that?

00:03:13.780 A little bit of a big difference.

00:03:14.780 A big difference, yeah.

00:03:15.440 But, you know, it was one of those things where I went to a small liberal arts school

00:03:19.940 called Colgate University, which was about 40 minutes from where I grew up.

00:03:24.960 And, you know, my family was a business family.

00:03:27.800 We have a company that's over 100 years old, you know, so it's been passed down generation

00:03:33.600 to generation now, like four times now.

00:03:36.060 And so it just kind of, you know, hammered into us that we were a business family and that,

00:03:41.560 you know, we were going to ultimately end up at the family business.

00:03:43.720 And so when I went to Colgate, I majored in economics.

00:03:46.320 And then after Colgate, you know, or right at the end of the four years there, I ended

00:03:50.620 up, you know, applying for positions like my friends were all, you know, getting these

00:03:55.160 great jobs in finance and, you know, whatnot.

00:03:59.380 I guess we're going to medical school, you know, those were kind of the big two or law

00:04:03.240 school.

00:04:03.780 And so I kind of like just followed that bandwagon.

00:04:06.420 I didn't really know what else to do.

00:04:07.700 It's interesting.

00:04:08.240 I wasn't really clear at that point in time.

00:04:10.240 I just kind of thought that was what was supposed to happen.

00:04:11.840 So I ended up getting hired by Coopers and Librand and it was a group of us and they

00:04:16.800 sent us to NYU to get our MBAs.

00:04:19.540 And, you know, there I was just kind of like chugging along next to me.

00:04:23.160 Doing your thing.

00:04:23.680 Yeah, doing my thing.

00:04:24.540 I'm studying for the CPA exam and going to school at night and just working my tail off

00:04:30.100 during the day.

00:04:30.620 And, you know, it literally was a four year odyssey of just nonstop studying and work and

00:04:37.120 then trying to maintain my physical training and regimen in the cracks, you know, early

00:04:43.240 before work.

00:04:44.540 And at lunchtime I would go work out and train and then join the martial arts studio.

00:04:49.260 And so I would cram in a class on my way from work to NYU, which was down by the World Trade

00:04:55.000 Center.

00:04:55.180 So that was, you know, I was a business guy before I became a Navy SEAL, but in big business,

00:05:00.960 right?

00:05:01.900 And so when I, it just seemed natural that when I left the SEALs that I would get back

00:05:06.700 into business and it kind of made sense, but I didn't want to go back into a big corporate

00:05:10.920 role.

00:05:11.380 I mean, Navy is corporate and of course Arthur Anderson and Coopers, who I'd worked with

00:05:14.960 earlier, were corporate.

00:05:15.840 And so I thought I'd go in the entrepreneurial route and SEALs are pretty entrepreneurial anyways.

00:05:20.560 Most special ops are, but SEALs in particular.

00:05:22.360 So it made sense for me to do that.

00:05:25.060 Why do you say SEALs are entrepreneurial?

00:05:26.700 Is it something in them that just, that drive or competition, what makes it that way?

00:05:31.660 Yeah, well, it really is the type of person who's attracted to the program and the way

00:05:36.280 we train our minds in the program.

00:05:38.760 You know, it's very different than any other branch or service.

00:05:41.700 You know, the SEALs are very small unit, about 1800 of us.

00:05:45.760 It was much smaller when I went through, you know, it was about half that size.

00:05:49.200 And, you know, one of our terms was Semper Gumby.

00:05:53.200 You know, the Marine Corps is Semper Fi, which is always faithful.

00:05:56.980 And the SEALs was Semper Gumby, you know, basically that little green bendy gumby.

00:06:03.000 So we were always flexible.

00:06:05.200 And so we trained ourselves to never get rigid in our thinking, never to accept the plan as

00:06:11.100 the final plan, right, to always be juking and jiving and figuring things out along the

00:06:16.980 way.

00:06:17.960 And just so happens that that mindset is utterly, you know, perfectly suited for entrepreneurship.

00:06:23.520 Right.

00:06:23.680 Yeah.

00:06:23.860 We've got to deal with so many ups and downs and trials and things that we've got to

00:06:26.920 overcome.

00:06:27.200 Like you said, Semper Gumby, right?

00:06:29.900 Semper Gumby.

00:06:30.600 That's right.

00:06:31.180 I like that.

00:06:31.640 I didn't know that.

00:06:32.200 I actually read that in your book, I think, just over the past couple of days and saw that.

00:06:35.540 So that was pretty interesting.

00:06:36.200 That would be a great title for a book, actually.

00:06:37.720 It would catch people's attention, definitely.

00:06:43.040 So the question I have is, what happened then?

00:06:45.460 Was there some big event or just over time?

00:06:49.000 Because I know exactly what you're saying.

00:06:50.800 I'm a financial advisor by trade.

00:06:52.400 So trying to find time to work on my physical strength and work on mental fortitude and toughness,

00:06:58.940 those things are hard because sometimes I'm just behind the desk getting busy.

00:07:01.700 So what happened for you that made you make this big shift in your life?

00:07:04.460 Well, I was very fortunate to kind of connect with my first mentor, like who I would consider

00:07:12.820 my formative mentor.

00:07:15.300 And it was through this martial art that I had started, which was about 300 or 400 feet

00:07:20.860 from where I lived in 23rd Street in Manhattan.

00:07:24.400 It was the world headquarters of Seido Karate, S-E-I-D-O.

00:07:26.960 So and Kaicho, which means Grand Master Nakamura, was the head guy.

00:07:32.160 And he had created this art.

00:07:33.840 And, you know, when I started training there, you know, he became my teacher because he taught

00:07:38.060 quite a bit there.

00:07:38.800 It was a really neat model.

00:07:39.660 I mean, he had thousands and thousands of students around the world, but he made it a

00:07:42.340 point to not be flitting around the world, but to stay right there and let people come

00:07:47.100 to him.

00:07:47.520 That's kind of a cool role.

00:07:48.360 I was trying to follow that with SealFit, but it's still a little challenging.

00:07:51.980 So anyways, he was very much into mind, body, spirit.

00:07:55.240 But what I loved about him in retrospect is he didn't just talk about it.

00:07:59.500 He was deliberate about how to train it.

00:08:03.100 The body part was easy, and a lot of people get that.

00:08:06.220 And most martial arts and yoga today is just about the body, you know, just move the body,

00:08:10.220 sweat, you know, physical fitness, functional fitness, martial arts, you know, use the techniques

00:08:15.400 and learn the techniques and master them.

00:08:16.920 And then, you know, the prevailing wisdom is that over time, you know, you're going

00:08:21.600 to cultivate a stronger mind and mental toughness.

00:08:24.740 Well, Nakamura said, you know what, that's great, but we're also going to develop our

00:08:29.240 mind through meditation and through lecture and through team, you know, type of training

00:08:37.200 that developed emotional strength and those types of things.

00:08:40.920 And so, you know, what really cracked me open was sitting on the meditation bench, you

00:08:45.660 know, with the Zen practice, you know, we had these little austere wooden benches and

00:08:49.100 we sit on it and we'd meditate for 45 minutes at a time.

00:08:52.320 Oh, wow.

00:08:53.080 And, you know, it's for anyone who's tried that, it's hard to even do five minutes at

00:08:57.120 a time.

00:08:57.980 So it took me, literally, it took me a year or two, I would say, before I could really

00:09:03.960 clear my mind and stay focused and, you know, concentrate for more than a few minutes

00:09:07.920 at a time.

00:09:08.360 And that really, that process of deepening my concentration, then clearing my mind, you

00:09:15.460 know, my rational mind, you know, one that's always just like constantly churning about

00:09:19.680 this and that, the one that was, you know, listening to all the bullshit about what I 0.74

00:09:25.180 should do and my relationship to my peers and money and all that, all those belief systems 0.96

00:09:31.340 were there and bubbling up.

00:09:33.440 But when you sat in silence and you're able to concentrate over time, you're able to settle

00:09:37.560 your mind and then you start to, you're able to examine those things become the, because

00:09:41.300 they really stand out in stark contrast.

00:09:43.900 When the noise is loud, you can't really pay attention to those patterns because they're

00:09:49.120 just kind of get mixed up in the noise.

00:09:50.880 But when the noise settles down, those patterns become really, really obvious.

00:09:55.860 And so I was able to look at those patterns and, you know, examine them and say, you know

00:09:59.240 what, if this is what I'm supposed to do, then why, why am I miserable?

00:10:02.420 If this is what I'm supposed to do, why don't I care about the money?

00:10:05.920 If this is what I'm supposed to do, why is there, why do I have no interest or passion

00:10:10.020 for going back to the family business?

00:10:11.580 And, and I started to examine those.

00:10:13.540 And then the contrast to all that is if that's not what I'm meant to do, if I'm not meant

00:10:17.380 to be a CPA slash, you know, family business guy, then what, what, what is meant to be,

00:10:24.420 you know, what am I meant to do?

00:10:25.900 And so it was just this odyssey that took me, you know, about three years to work through

00:10:30.500 and what came up was that I, you know, actually was a warrior and I was, you know, never taught

00:10:36.060 to be a warrior.

00:10:36.820 I was never led to be a warrior, but it was coming out of me, you know, through this martial

00:10:40.980 arts practice and through the silence practice that I was meant to be a warrior and I was

00:10:45.280 meant to, you know, lead in a more adventurous life and sitting in a chair and being in a suit

00:10:49.980 certainly wasn't it for me.

00:10:51.600 And, you know, at 20, I was now 24 years old that I had, um, you know, I had the rest

00:10:57.380 of my life in front of me and I wanted to be, I wanted to be, you know, super happy and

00:11:02.600 not happy.

00:11:03.900 I mean, I want to be happy, but I meant I wanted to be, um, content with my life.

00:11:09.260 Fulfilled, right?

00:11:10.060 Fulfilled.

00:11:10.440 And I didn't want to be on my deathbed and thinking, God, I wish I had done something

00:11:14.020 besides be a CPA or business guy.

00:11:17.100 I'm glad we're having this conversation because I think a lot of the times, and I'm

00:11:20.340 guilty of this too, as men, it's like, go, go, go, go, go.

00:11:22.680 And we get into a routine or we get into a habit and we think that this is the right thing

00:11:26.640 we need to do as men to be able to provide.

00:11:28.660 And sometimes that's what it comes down to is we feel like, Hey, the responsible thing

00:11:32.800 if I've got a family or somebody relying on me is to continue down this direction.

00:11:36.040 And so to have the, the clarity from just silence.

00:11:39.420 And like you said, meditation seems like it's been pretty valuable for you.

00:11:42.520 It's extremely valuable for me and it continues to be to this day.

00:11:45.080 And I was just fortunate enough to kind of find it in my early twenties and I never stopped.

00:11:49.220 And, you know, it really helped me dramatically, you know, in my, even in the SEAL training.

00:11:54.560 I mean, I, I really kind of sailed through my training class.

00:11:56.980 It was hard work, but it wasn't that hard, you know, because I had trained my mind to

00:12:01.840 really stay focused and to be positive and to what I call see the wind in my mind.

00:12:07.960 I could, I could clearly see myself succeeding at every task that was thrown at me.

00:12:13.200 And I was able to maintain a really, really clear mind and, uh, focused on the right things

00:12:19.880 and was able to help my teammates out.

00:12:21.320 And all those skills just proved to be extraordinarily valuable.

00:12:23.300 And I ended up as honor man in my class because of that.

00:12:26.580 And it was a lot of what I learned from Nakamura and, you know, a little bit before that when

00:12:30.260 I was in competitive sports and using visualization techniques, uh, for that.

00:12:35.720 But where would you suggest that a man starts when, you know, maybe he's listening to this,

00:12:39.840 I'm listening to this and thinking, okay, this is more valuable than initially I would

00:12:43.820 have thought.

00:12:44.700 And I've talked with a lot of successful men who would agree with you and share your sentiments

00:12:48.920 when it comes to that.

00:12:50.040 Where do you guys start who, you know, they've never taken a deep breath and they've never

00:12:55.200 stopped for a second to think about their life.

00:12:57.480 How, how would you suggest somebody gets into silence and meditation and clarity?

00:13:02.280 Yeah, well, I mean, that's just such a good question because it really kind of depends

00:13:06.760 upon where you're at and your level of urgency to change, right?

00:13:13.180 To grow.

00:13:14.880 So if you're not, if you're kind of just lukewarm about it and you just want to dip your toe

00:13:20.680 in it, then, you know, that's cool.

00:13:23.240 You know, just start meditating, right?

00:13:25.340 Or go to, uh, start a yoga practice.

00:13:28.020 Um, but if you're deeply moved to begin to, uh, change process, then that's cool because,

00:13:36.380 you know, the, the first step is to commit, to commit to developing yourself, commit to

00:13:41.700 deepening your awareness so that you can learn the answers to that, the questions of, you

00:13:46.780 know, who am I, why am I on this planet?

00:13:49.120 What am I meant to do?

00:13:50.300 So you can clarify your purpose and your passion and your principles and then set sail in that

00:13:54.960 direction.

00:13:55.380 So it takes a deep commitment to really begin a process of self-awareness and self-discovery.

00:14:02.600 Now the tools are, you know, there are many paths to follow, as you know, and let's say

00:14:07.320 there's many paths to enlightenment, just choose one and stick with it.

00:14:12.660 So for me, the path was, uh, initially it was through the martial arts, hard physical training

00:14:19.060 coupled with daily periods of silence, right?

00:14:23.160 Not random, not like, Oh, I'm quiet now.

00:14:25.620 Cause I'm sitting on the bus or, you know what I mean?

00:14:28.480 No, you literally are sitting either on a chair or on a mat and you are practicing silence,

00:14:36.180 practicing silence.

00:14:37.320 So that's where I kind of start with my Unbeable Mind program.

00:14:40.500 I say, okay, let's, let's start out with practicing silence.

00:14:42.640 But what I do is I use a breath control practice I call box breathing.

00:14:46.600 So it's super powerful because it has the added benefit of basically regulating their

00:14:53.800 arousal control, you know, their, their response to stress.

00:14:57.500 And so the process I have them do is breathe through their nose, deep into their belly and 0.98

00:15:03.280 have a breath hold at the inhale and at the, after the exhale.

00:15:06.300 So, and I, you know, have them breathe in this kind of box pattern.

00:15:09.960 It's called a one four second pattern, I think is what, is what it is, right?

00:15:13.680 It can be anything really, but the, um, you know, most people at the beginning four or five

00:15:19.360 is, you know, even five can be a stretch, especially on the exhale hold, you know, um, when I do

00:15:25.100 it, I usually do it like a 10 count across the board.

00:15:28.360 So it becomes a 40 second threshold, 40 second duration breath or, you know, my, my, my main,

00:15:34.160 my threshold where I'm comfortable is around 55 or something like that.

00:15:38.060 So it's like where I'm, you know, I'm able to, to breathe like one breath a minute using

00:15:42.480 this pattern.

00:15:43.300 And it's very, very calming.

00:15:44.980 It's very good for your nervous system and it doubles as a concentration practice.

00:15:51.000 Now, meditation is a very big, broad category.

00:15:55.300 And so most people think that anything, you know, where you're just sitting with your

00:15:58.760 eyes closed is meditation and that's probably accurate, but it doesn't mean you're doing

00:16:02.560 anything that's going to benefit you, right?

00:16:04.660 Right, right.

00:16:05.480 And so the first step of meditation is to concentrate on something that gives your mind a hook or

00:16:13.900 a focal point so that two things will happen.

00:16:17.160 One is you're deep in your powers of concentration, your ability to concentrate on one thing for extended

00:16:21.520 periods of time.

00:16:22.400 So it sharpens your focus.

00:16:23.980 And two is it's, it, it causes the rest of your rational mind to kind of slow down and

00:16:30.600 to step out of the way.

00:16:33.040 So a, an unconcentrated mind bounces from one idea to another, you know, any type of stimulus

00:16:38.920 or external, internal, you know, will cause your mind to spin up and spin around.

00:16:43.380 And, you know, people just get all these, you know, they get stuck in these ruts and loops

00:16:47.180 that just keep, lead them in circles all the time.

00:16:49.280 And so they have difficulty really focusing on a long-term goal or project.

00:16:54.620 They have difficulty finishing things because, you know, emotionally they get stuck on, you

00:17:01.200 know, fear of success or fear of failure or fear of anything really.

00:17:05.860 And then that spins their mind under control and then they're off to the next thing, you

00:17:09.020 know?

00:17:09.140 And we, we live in a distracted world and there's more and more distractions coming at us every

00:17:14.620 day.

00:17:14.860 And now we're, we, we carry our distractions around with us in our iPhones or our Android

00:17:19.140 devices.

00:17:19.580 And we're always on them as opposed to taking time to concentrate and focus and sharpen our

00:17:26.760 mind.

00:17:27.300 So box breathing, you know, to answer your question specifically, I would say, if you want to start,

00:17:33.180 if you're listening to this and you want to start down the path of clarifying your life,

00:17:38.300 sharpening your focus, maybe making some better decisions and shifting so that you can be more

00:17:43.100 successful, more happy, more peace of mind, even provide more for your family, then the starting

00:17:48.500 point is, is our box breathing practice, which is going to make you very calm, very centered,

00:17:54.240 very focused and clear out all the garbage in your mind that's causing you to make decisions that

00:17:59.560 aren't optimal.

00:18:00.900 Right.

00:18:01.100 Interesting.

00:18:01.800 I want to go back to something you said that was pretty intriguing to me.

00:18:04.900 And I've had a little bit of an experience with this.

00:18:06.560 You said that you sailed through, uh, buds and seal training relatively easy, although it was

00:18:11.800 difficult.

00:18:12.140 And I actually ran across this in 1999.

00:18:14.340 I went through basic training, which is, uh, of course not nearly the, to the level of

00:18:19.100 training that you had, but, uh, I saw this in the men that I was training with.

00:18:24.500 Some guys just had it together and some just didn't, and it, it didn't have that much to

00:18:29.880 do with physical strength.

00:18:31.280 It had more to do with their mental fortitude.

00:18:33.660 Can you talk a little bit about why that is?

00:18:36.400 Sure.

00:18:36.620 Well, physical strength is easy to come by, right?

00:18:39.740 Really just take some, take some time and some effort.

00:18:42.880 And in those training programs, in, in seal training and to a lesser extent in some of

00:18:47.120 the other programs, like what you went through, you know, the point isn't to test your physical.

00:18:51.440 You've got to kind of, you got to have that.

00:18:52.840 That's like a prerequisite, right?

00:18:54.000 If you don't have it, you won't get in or you won't get very far for sure.

00:18:59.120 And so, you know, injury or something will crop up, but reality is for the seal program,

00:19:05.160 most people had the physical or else they weren't, they didn't make it to the front door,

00:19:09.720 right?

00:19:10.040 There's thousands of people who try every year and there's about 200, I'm sorry, there's

00:19:14.500 about 975 or so who make it into the front door buds and there's about 225 who make it

00:19:21.280 out.

00:19:21.800 So there's only 225 new seals minted every year.

00:19:25.340 You know, everyone who comes into the program is physically capable because you just have

00:19:31.900 to be.

00:19:32.720 So like you said, now what happens is the, you know, we get tested on the physical, but

00:19:38.620 the way you're, you know, the way you react, the way you respond to the instructors, your

00:19:44.500 ability to deal with the nonstop grind day in and day out for, for nine or 10 months, the

00:19:50.280 ability to focus on the right goals, you know, they're going to lead you to success and

00:19:54.400 the ability to manage your mind so that you maintain a positive state all the time and

00:19:59.760 are able to lead your team and to be led by your team.

00:20:03.680 So these are all the things that are being judged and graded by the instructor staff and

00:20:08.920 they all have to do with the ability to control your mind and control your emotions, which leads

00:20:12.580 to, you know, mental toughness and resiliency.

00:20:15.120 And so those become the, the gold standard skills and it's not so much, you know, who's

00:20:21.760 the biggest physical stud.

00:20:22.680 I've seen many, many physical studs quit, you know, and just bail on the training and

00:20:27.160 all, a lot of times like the athleticism, the, the all-star athletes where things have

00:20:31.560 come easy for them and they're used to a lot of praise.

00:20:33.700 Those guys don't make it either very often.

00:20:36.540 I mean, often they don't make it because in the SEAL training, nobody cares how many touchdowns

00:20:40.880 you threw or passes you caught in your high school football team or college.

00:20:46.440 Everybody's a stud, right?

00:20:48.180 Right.

00:20:48.800 And there's Olympic athletes who go through SEAL training.

00:20:51.780 So nobody cares how athletic you are.

00:20:54.160 What they want to know is, are you going to be a good teammate?

00:20:57.020 Do you have my back?

00:20:58.700 In order for you to have my back, you've got to be in control.

00:21:01.660 You've got to have a positive attitude, right?

00:21:04.240 You've got to be able to, to be useful to the team in the most extreme circumstances.

00:21:10.480 You can't be a Rambo where you're hunkering down and say, I got it. 1.00

00:21:13.720 I can get through this. 0.98

00:21:15.080 You know, when the shit storm starts, you got to look around and say, okay, guys, who 0.99

00:21:18.660 needs help? 0.99

00:21:19.320 You know what I mean?

00:21:20.280 And you're, you're actually more concerned about your teammates than you are about yourself.

00:21:24.960 And when the whole team is acting like that, it's an incredibly powerful thing.

00:21:29.500 It's one of the reasons SEALs are so successful is you've got 16 guys in a task unit who are

00:21:34.460 all looking out for each other's, you know, more than they're looking out for themselves.

00:21:39.220 And, you know, you tend to have an accelerating effect on performance when you've got 15 other

00:21:43.420 guys supporting you like that.

00:21:45.980 Right.

00:21:46.140 Just exponentially.

00:21:46.980 How do they do that?

00:21:47.680 How do the trainers test for that ability to work as a team?

00:21:51.820 What are some of the things they do?

00:21:52.740 Well, a lot of the drills and skills that they teach are things you just can't do alone.

00:21:58.580 Right.

00:21:59.100 I mean, aside from the individual fitness things like, you know, okay, we're going to go out

00:22:03.820 and do a five mile time run.

00:22:06.000 Okay.

00:22:06.120 That's pretty much a solitary thing.

00:22:08.500 I mean, it's an individual performance.

00:22:09.800 You can do that on your own.

00:22:11.040 Individual performance.

00:22:11.940 But even on an ocean swim, like a five mile ocean swim, you are swimming with your swim

00:22:16.300 buddy.

00:22:17.200 You can't, you can't just haul.

00:22:18.440 Let's say he's a little bit slower than you.

00:22:19.820 You can't haul off and leave him.

00:22:21.780 You are there.

00:22:22.680 You're swimming face to face, side by side, in sync for five miles or six miles.

00:22:28.720 And it's extremely potent, you know, team exercise.

00:22:32.040 You know, it's really intimate to say, you know, in a different way.

00:22:35.560 You know what I mean?

00:22:35.840 It's like you are literally breathing in sync for that long in the water.

00:22:41.940 That, you know, if you can't do that, right, if you can't, you know, get out of your little

00:22:45.660 limited self and just sync up with another human being, you fail that evolution.

00:22:49.660 That's one small example.

00:22:51.040 You know, other things where they make you do something as a team, you know, like take

00:22:55.260 your boat through the obstacle course.

00:22:57.820 You know, the boat's a few hundred pounds.

00:22:59.400 Now you got to take your boat up the cargo net and down the cargo net.

00:23:02.660 How do you do that?

00:23:04.040 You know, you have to be a good teammate.

00:23:07.060 And so they do, you know, it's like the ultimate leadership program where they,

00:23:11.140 they, you can have, you get tested on all these individual skills and performance every

00:23:15.020 week.

00:23:15.720 You have to improve your scores on the obstacle course, on the runs and on the swims.

00:23:19.720 You have to put out on the PTs, you know, the physical training.

00:23:23.760 But then they also watch your performance as a teammate.

00:23:28.240 They watch your willingness and your readiness, you know, without prompting to lend support to

00:23:34.000 your teammates or to be there for your teammates.

00:23:36.060 They watch your ability to receive support.

00:23:39.860 They want to watch your eyes.

00:23:41.600 Are you, are you, you know, hunkered down and just focused on your stuff or are you,

00:23:44.980 is your head on a swivel constantly, you know, looking for opportunities to help your team?

00:23:50.340 And then they also do a 360, you know, review.

00:23:54.480 And so they, they survey all of your teammates asking for feedback and they have, you know,

00:23:58.840 the students kind of rank based upon their leadership skills and their teaming skills and

00:24:03.840 that type of thing.

00:24:04.500 So the instructors end up getting a very, very good picture of who is going to be a

00:24:10.740 good team member.

00:24:12.040 You know, who's going to be the kind of guy you can rely on in combat.

00:24:16.380 And those are the guys who end up making it really.

00:24:18.860 That's really interesting.

00:24:19.740 The thing on that is like, yeah, guys, if you don't quit, you know, or get injured and

00:24:24.440 you're, and just because you're a super stud, the instructors, if they don't want you on

00:24:28.880 the team, if they know that you're going to suck as a teammate, they will find a way. 0.53

00:24:33.200 They'll find a way to get you, you know? 0.97

00:24:35.560 Yeah.

00:24:35.860 Cause it sounds like, I mean, some guys, like you said, probably just tough, tough through

00:24:39.700 it, right?

00:24:40.040 Just physically just tough through the issue and they can make it through some of those

00:24:43.400 trainings.

00:24:44.200 Interesting.

00:24:44.560 I really, I'm, I'm intrigued that you said receive help, receive help from those around

00:24:51.740 because I think as guys, we tend to be prideful, like it's more noble to go at it alone, I

00:24:55.740 think.

00:24:56.200 And so we, we block or we turn off those people who are trying to reach out and trying to lend

00:25:00.760 a hand rather than saying, yeah, I could use a hand up and there's nothing weak or dishonorable

00:25:06.000 in that if you're all trying to accomplish the same goal.

00:25:08.240 Totally.

00:25:09.000 I just brought to mind an incident I had when I was like in fifth grade, there was some kid

00:25:14.120 who was kind of getting picked on.

00:25:15.760 He was a big kid, but he was getting picked on, no, not being the brightest tool in the

00:25:19.740 shed.

00:25:20.660 And I went up to him to offer him some assistance and he punched me in the face.

00:25:24.940 Oh, yeah, yeah.

00:25:26.160 I remember that like yesterday, I'm like, why did you just punch me in the face?

00:25:30.260 You know, not only did it hurt, but I was like, what the hell?

00:25:33.620 Yeah.

00:25:33.900 You're trying to help the guy.

00:25:34.700 Yeah.

00:25:34.760 That was the point you made is he wasn't ready to receive any help.

00:25:38.460 You know, he, he didn't think he was supposed to or needed to.

00:25:40.900 His dad probably thought it was a sign of weakness and taught him that.

00:25:44.180 And what we learned in the SEALs is it's not weakness to receive help and it's strength

00:25:49.460 to give help.

00:25:50.760 And we learned very quickly that nobody can do it alone and no mission is accomplished

00:25:56.500 alone.

00:25:57.340 Even if you are a sole sniper out in the field, you have tens, if not hundreds of people supporting

00:26:03.960 you and you rely on all of them. 1.00

00:26:05.420 You know, the shit hits the band. 0.99

00:26:07.480 You know, these guys are, are, and ladies are out there to bring you back home. 1.00

00:26:11.520 And Rambos don't make it, you know, they really don't. 1.00

00:26:14.800 And that's a whole fallacy.

00:26:17.240 Makes for a good movie, but it's not real in a special ops setting or any, any corporate

00:26:22.900 setting for that matter.

00:26:24.220 I think.

00:26:24.580 Yeah.

00:26:24.600 Corporate setting, athletics.

00:26:25.940 I mean, you name it, it doesn't work that way.

00:26:27.780 No great things are accomplished alone.

00:26:29.820 Seriously.

00:26:30.120 All the greatest accomplishments in the world were done with, you know, with team and tremendous

00:26:35.520 support provided to whoever.

00:26:37.500 Right.

00:26:38.560 Well, I'm really intrigued with your seal fit training because, um, you've, you've been

00:26:44.060 able to, through that training, reduce the attrition, it sounds like.

00:26:47.500 And so I'm really curious about how you're doing that.

00:26:49.760 If, if someone's going through that training versus if they just go straight into, um, buds

00:26:55.540 or, you know, just straight into that training without going through the, the seal fit program

00:26:59.240 that you've developed.

00:26:59.940 Well, the seal, the seal fit program that I, you know, I originally started it for spec

00:27:04.600 ops candidates and particular seals, but it was open to anybody.

00:27:08.000 Uh, now it's open to all, you know, most of our clients are actually professionals and

00:27:12.320 people who just want to take part in the training to become better people.

00:27:16.940 But the way it works is, is, you know, if we have a, um, two programs, one is a crucible

00:27:22.740 type experience, which is like hell week, which is just intense, nonstop 50 hours of training.

00:27:30.120 Physical and mental training.

00:27:32.040 Right.

00:27:33.260 So that kind of stimulates hell week.

00:27:34.840 That is a must do for seal candidates.

00:27:36.820 You know, you know, a lot of guys don't come through our training and make it through seals.

00:27:40.460 That's fine.

00:27:41.180 They're typically the stronger ones where they, you know, they've got their own crucible

00:27:44.280 experiences that they've been through, you know, like, uh, college wrestlers or even

00:27:48.740 some high school wrestlers.

00:27:49.540 That's a great program for the seals because it really, you know, wrestling is a gut busting

00:27:54.220 sport and it requires a lot of discipline, a lot of fortitude, a lot of determination

00:27:59.140 to stay the course over, you know, several years of wrestling.

00:28:03.560 Those skills tend to translate very well to the seals.

00:28:06.740 Interesting.

00:28:07.320 But a lot of folks, if you didn't, if you didn't have those, or even if you did seal

00:28:10.820 fit has become kind of an insurance policy.

00:28:12.860 I've said in the past that we like to inoculate you against failure and the folks who come 0.59

00:28:18.720 through seal fit, who are serious about becoming a seal, we teach them the mental skills, you

00:28:24.540 know, similar to the ones that I had, but I've been, you know, refining them and honing

00:28:28.080 them and adding to them over the years.

00:28:29.800 So we teach you the mental skills that make you indomitable, right?

00:28:33.300 Not, you know, that's that non quitting spirit, the ability to be a great teammate, the ability

00:28:38.140 to control your mind and emotions in the most intense circumstances like pool comp or drawn

00:28:43.640 proofing or whatever.

00:28:45.460 Right.

00:28:46.100 And, um, and we'll give you those skills.

00:28:48.660 We, we, we do it through that 50 hour program and we do it through a two week, uh, 20, like

00:28:54.060 18 days, actually special ops immersion Academy.

00:28:57.640 So that's nonstop.

00:28:59.220 Well, it's not nonstop, but it's live in training here at our headquarters in Encinitas, California.

00:29:04.280 You know, we train from five in the morning until like eight or nine at night.

00:29:08.020 Um, sometimes, you know, late in the night.

00:29:10.380 And then the graduation exercise is the 50 hour, uh, Kokoro camp.

00:29:15.360 So these folks, the guys who come to the spec ops Academy and, and we have a five day version

00:29:20.840 too, they, um, tend to do extremely well in seal training.

00:29:24.200 I think anecdotally, cause I don't have exact records.

00:29:27.460 It's about 90% success rate.

00:29:29.540 Wow.

00:29:29.840 Yeah.

00:29:30.180 It sounds like you're almost giving him in a way, just a taste of what's to come and being

00:29:33.320 realistic.

00:29:33.740 And that's what I noticed when I went through basic training is the guys who, who succeeded

00:29:38.740 and who were able to get through it, you know, relatively easily were the ones that have

00:29:43.260 been in athletics before.

00:29:44.440 Like you said, wrestling or football, baseball, whatever it may be.

00:29:47.200 Or maybe they had a, a parent or a sibling who had gone through it before.

00:29:52.040 And so they went to the table with clear expectations of what it was going to actually

00:29:55.860 be like.

00:29:56.880 Right.

00:29:57.060 And you hit on a really important point that it's important to have a, an honest assessment

00:30:02.840 of your starting point of where you're at.

00:30:05.520 You know, we've had a lot of seal candidates come out through here and quit our training.

00:30:09.360 And then they've already, they're already on contract with the Navy.

00:30:12.300 And so we tell them, Hey, don't go, you know, go tell your recruiter, you know, you got injured

00:30:16.120 or, you know, you, you, you change your mind and you want to go next fall or something

00:30:20.060 like that, but don't go.

00:30:21.460 If you came and you couldn't make it through seal fit, you're never going to make it through

00:30:24.540 buds.

00:30:25.360 And about half of them agree and have the courage to go back and to do that.

00:30:30.120 And about the other half are like, no, I'm, I'm, I'm on contract.

00:30:32.720 So, you know, I'm going to stick to it.

00:30:34.480 I think I'll make it.

00:30:35.480 And of course they don't, you know?

00:30:36.920 Right.

00:30:37.360 So then they're off chipping pain on the USS never sale or something like that.

00:30:40.660 So, you know, we want, you know, you, we want to have a good assessment of where you're

00:30:46.000 at.

00:30:46.260 And so seal fit programs tend to give you that assessment because we're, you know, it's

00:30:50.340 the game on it is every bit as hard for the limited time period as seal training.

00:30:55.420 That's the key.

00:30:56.040 Like seal training is hard, hard, hard because it's nine months long and seal fit is hard,

00:31:01.640 hard, hard, but it's only five days long.

00:31:04.380 Right, right.

00:31:05.300 Or 18 days long.

00:31:06.260 And you can suck it up for that long.

00:31:08.220 But the most important thing is we don't just want you to suck it up and get through

00:31:11.780 it.

00:31:12.100 We want to teach you the skills of mental toughness and resiliency and leadership and teaming,

00:31:18.320 you know?

00:31:18.520 And so we give you that skills and we test you in the pressure and, and make sure you

00:31:22.580 understand what you're facing, you know, if you're going down that path.

00:31:26.740 So let's talk about the way.

00:31:28.000 This is extremely valuable too.

00:31:29.640 If you're a business professional or any endeavor in life, not just for spec ops candidates,

00:31:33.760 because, you know, whatever, what, what seals learn is, you know, how to navigate and win

00:31:41.460 in the most chaotic, dangerous, and murky situations in the world known to man.

00:31:49.380 And business is starting to look a lot like that these days, isn't it?

00:31:52.780 You know?

00:31:53.380 Absolutely.

00:31:54.240 Absolutely.

00:31:55.420 Let's talk about how, and I think the point that you're bringing up, and this was one of

00:31:59.220 the chapters I enjoyed in the book was, I think it's called establishing your set point, if

00:32:02.860 I remember correctly.

00:32:03.580 You're right.

00:32:03.840 Yeah, that was it.

00:32:04.720 How does that translate?

00:32:06.440 Because that's what you're talking about in, you know, SEAL training and military training.

00:32:10.100 How does establishing your set point transition into civilian life, whether it's with your

00:32:13.760 family or your business, whatever it may be?

00:32:16.180 Well, in the context of business or professional life, what I mean by that is to know who you

00:32:22.580 are.

00:32:23.580 So a lot of people, they will begin with trying to get a, you know, with a wish or desire

00:32:31.180 of someplace that they'd like to be, you know, that's not here, right?

00:32:35.900 So they say, I want to be a successful businessman, or I want to be a partner at a CPA firm, or I

00:32:41.780 want to have my own business and earn a million dollars.

00:32:45.900 Okay, that's great.

00:32:46.680 You know, that's, that's a loose notion of a, of a possible future.

00:32:51.540 And we can tighten that up quite a bit, by the way, you know, by through proper visualization

00:32:56.320 and planning techniques, you know, we can get a very clear vision, a very detailed description

00:33:02.380 and articulated mission for what that looks like.

00:33:05.960 That's all fine and good.

00:33:07.440 But as you push off to execute toward that, if you don't know where you stand now, then

00:33:14.400 you'll never get there, right?

00:33:15.720 It's kind of like you set off on a mission, and you don't know where you are, then you

00:33:21.820 can't navigate to where you want to go, right?

00:33:24.960 You need both.

00:33:26.200 Right.

00:33:26.740 You need both.

00:33:27.260 That's what the set point is.

00:33:28.240 It's kind of a GPS reference.

00:33:30.040 So the set point for, for professionals and for anyone really is a deep understanding

00:33:36.460 of, of your skills, physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, of your practical

00:33:44.360 and tactical skills.

00:33:45.780 You know, like if you want to be a partner at a CPA firm and you're, and you've never even

00:33:50.700 taken an accounting class, then, you know, you better set some targets up that are going

00:33:55.140 to give you the practical and tactical skills.

00:33:58.020 And then there's the, am I, the, the, the becoming type goals or, or skills.

00:34:03.880 Like, are you, what type of person do you need to be?

00:34:07.080 And this is, you know, really brings home with a lot of SEAL candidates.

00:34:09.900 Like, ultimately, SEAL training is about character.

00:34:13.240 I mean, they're testing your character.

00:34:15.860 And a lot of guys come in and say they think it's all about just, like we've been talking

00:34:19.800 about, just the, just the physical side. 0.99

00:34:21.840 Or even if they're mentally tough, they can still be jerks, right? 1.00

00:34:25.620 And if you're, if you're mentally tough and you're physically tough and you're a jerk, 1.00

00:34:28.780 you're, you're still not going to make it through SEAL training. 1.00

00:34:31.400 Right.

00:34:31.560 So you've got to have an honest assessment of where you're at so that you can then fill

00:34:36.280 the gaps between, you know, where you are now and where you need to be in order to be

00:34:40.800 even remotely successful at that goal that you're going after.

00:34:44.960 It's equally as important to work on filling the gaps and knowing yourself and your set

00:34:49.520 point so that you build that foundation so that as you push off toward that goal, you're

00:34:54.540 pushing off against a firm foundation.

00:34:56.200 And you can always answer the question why you're doing something and you know where you

00:35:00.460 stand on things, you know?

00:35:01.840 So when, when danger comes your way or when people start questioning you or challenging

00:35:06.600 you, that you have a firm ground to stand on and you can, you can make good decisions.

00:35:12.460 You know, you don't get, you don't waver, you know, you don't lose confidence.

00:35:16.800 You're able to stay the course.

00:35:19.660 And I think that can be so hard is establishing that set point.

00:35:22.320 I know a year and a half ago I weighed 50 more pounds than I do today.

00:35:26.140 And one of the hardest things I knew what I had to do.

00:35:28.600 I mean, we, we know eat better exercise, right?

00:35:30.400 I mean, there's not a whole lot to it.

00:35:32.100 But the hardest thing was starting because I was so afraid to get on the scale.

00:35:36.140 Like I knew I was overweight, but I was so afraid of getting on the scale because of that

00:35:40.800 gap, like you said, of where I was today and where I knew I wanted to be.

00:35:44.640 Right.

00:35:45.460 Yeah.

00:35:45.740 And you know what?

00:35:46.180 That gap is big when you have a big goal.

00:35:49.660 Yeah, absolutely.

00:35:50.820 It's interesting.

00:35:51.600 It's, but it doesn't, you know, it doesn't really take any more work to go after a big

00:35:56.140 goal than it does a small goal.

00:35:57.780 It's just that it seems more, it just seems more overwhelming.

00:36:03.140 The reality is you just have to chunk it down into smaller pieces, right?

00:36:06.820 If you, if you have to lose a hundred pounds, then you have to have a little bit longer timeline

00:36:11.020 and you have to chunk it down into more bite-sized chunks, so to speak, than if you just need

00:36:15.480 to lose 20 pounds.

00:36:16.400 You know what I mean?

00:36:16.920 Right, right.

00:36:17.840 At the same, and you might have to have a higher level of commitment and really, really

00:36:23.240 make this a, like a number one priority.

00:36:27.320 You know, I always say that you have to have one thing.

00:36:29.740 It could be one thing in different areas of your life, but there's like one thing that

00:36:32.740 is the most important thing that you're moving toward every day.

00:36:35.480 You have actions and thought around it every single day and imagery and visualization, you

00:36:41.400 know, and it might be a new business launch or a new book, a book you're writing, or, you

00:36:46.340 know, for some might be getting the Navy SEAL trident or, but there's always one thing.

00:36:51.140 There's one thing in your life and then there's one thing, you know, in a longer period of time

00:36:55.980 that you're driving toward that's connected to that.

00:36:57.540 And then there's one thing that you're working on right now that's connected to that.

00:37:01.200 Mm-hmm.

00:37:02.160 And in fact, I was just talking, I'm having a conversation with, I wish I could remember

00:37:06.860 his last name, Jay, the author of a book called One Thing, and it's really neat because he's

00:37:13.420 got the same philosophy and he actually uses that term, one thing, obviously, because he

00:37:16.880 wrote a book about it.

00:37:18.320 Right.

00:37:18.500 But it's a really good book and it helps you understand how to focus, right?

00:37:25.140 And the SEALs know how to focus.

00:37:26.900 Like, you know, I learned this in the SEALs.

00:37:28.480 I didn't learn it from his book, but when I read his book, I wanted to reference it right

00:37:31.120 away because he really helped to kind of narrow that concept down for me.

00:37:36.580 Is that book by Gary Keller?

00:37:39.220 That's one that I've read.

00:37:40.520 Yeah, Gary Keller is the co-author, founder of Keller Williams and is Jay, something was

00:37:47.460 his partner.

00:37:48.880 Papasan, is that right?

00:37:49.880 That's right.

00:37:50.320 You got it.

00:37:50.920 Yeah.

00:37:51.340 Yeah.

00:37:52.120 Yeah, that's a great book.

00:37:53.140 I totally agree.

00:37:54.260 So one of the things I want to talk about, I was going to tell you this story, is about

00:37:57.080 two years ago, I led a youth group on just under 20 mile hike over two days.

00:38:03.780 And it was a pretty tough hike.

00:38:05.040 It's a lot of inclines and a lot of variations and elevation.

00:38:08.360 And I told the boys that it was, I think there was six of them at the time.

00:38:11.300 And I said, we need to come up with a motto as we go on this hike and what we're going

00:38:15.760 to do this hike by.

00:38:16.600 And what they came up with was, I will find a way or make one.

00:38:21.300 Oh, cool.

00:38:21.900 And then I saw that in your book and that totally resonated with me.

00:38:24.860 So I want to talk about finding a way or making one.

00:38:28.880 Right.

00:38:29.460 What I mean by that is, it has to do with an attitude of failure not being an option.

00:38:39.760 So as you have a plan, let's say you decide that you're going to change careers.

00:38:45.600 And so you get a plan together and you spend some time obviously researching and figuring

00:38:50.580 out what it is you want to do and how you're going to do it and what classes you got to

00:38:53.640 take and blah, blah, blah.

00:38:55.480 And then you begin to execute toward that plan.

00:38:57.940 Well, guess what?

00:38:58.580 It never, ever works out the way you conceived it.

00:39:03.740 It'd be a pure miracle if it does.

00:39:05.760 You know, in the seals, we learned this and I'm sure, you know, when you were in the

00:39:09.300 National Guard, you learned this as well.

00:39:11.120 So once you got out the wire, you know, the plan pretty much takes, gets put on the shelf

00:39:15.400 and you have to become very adaptable to the circumstances.

00:39:20.080 You have to flow with the circumstances.

00:39:22.240 So same thing, executing any business or, or project.

00:39:25.780 And when you come across an obstacle, instead of stopping or shirking or, you know, falling

00:39:32.140 back or retreating, seals are taught to find a way around that obstacle, over it, under

00:39:37.980 it.

00:39:38.500 And if none of those, you know, work, then we have to make a way, you know, we might like

00:39:42.560 make a bridge, right?

00:39:44.400 Or literally make a tool that works or make a new plan, right?

00:39:49.120 But bottom line is the obstacles just became opportunities to figure out how to solve it

00:39:54.460 a different way.

00:39:55.180 And that's really what we mean by find a way or make a way is like, there is no, there's

00:39:59.400 no no here.

00:40:00.380 Like we will get this mission done.

00:40:02.720 This is just a temporary, a temporary interruption in our forward progress, but it allows us now

00:40:09.080 the opportunity to pause and figure out a way to get it done a little bit better or a little

00:40:12.100 bit more creatively.

00:40:13.640 And, uh, you know, we're grateful for it.

00:40:15.340 You know what I mean?

00:40:15.660 We're not sitting there and, you know, with gnashed teeth and going all negative about, you 0.96

00:40:21.020 know, how things are all fucked up and this and that. 0.94

00:40:23.080 I mean, it's, it's basically here we are, let's figure it out.

00:40:26.440 It's so exciting to live life like that.

00:40:28.100 I know here, here's a story to a lesser degree.

00:40:30.000 I told my son the other day to take the trash out and he grabbed the trash bag and he went

00:40:34.000 outside and he came back in literally 10 seconds later and he said, I can't reach the trash

00:40:38.200 can.

00:40:38.400 I can't put it in.

00:40:39.260 And I said, son, that's your job.

00:40:41.220 So you go back out there and find a way to get the trash in the can and then you can come

00:40:45.760 back in when you're done with your job.

00:40:47.640 Nice.

00:40:48.320 So he goes back outside and I kind of kept an eye on him and he was looking around trying to

00:40:53.060 figure out how to do this.

00:40:54.240 And he finally, he pulled this bench over to the trash can, lifted the lid through the

00:40:58.380 trash can and put the bench back and came back in.

00:41:00.940 His head and shoulders were higher than I'd ever seen him.

00:41:03.300 He's so proud of himself that he found a way to accomplish the task and then he could relax

00:41:07.460 after that.

00:41:08.100 So I know it's to a smaller degree, but illustrates the point.

00:41:10.540 Future Navy SEAL.

00:41:11.360 That's awesome.

00:41:11.960 That's right.

00:41:12.540 That's right.

00:41:14.220 Well, hey, we're winding down on time, Mark.

00:41:16.220 A couple of things left.

00:41:17.200 A couple of questions.

00:41:17.940 The first one is, and I asked this to all my guests and I didn't prep you for this question,

00:41:22.380 so putting you on the spot a little bit, but what do you think it means to be a man?

00:41:26.760 You know, first of all, let me say that men have really taken some hits in this time of

00:41:31.780 our development as a country.

00:41:34.160 You know, I don't know if you knew these stats, but I recently was at a conference for the,

00:41:40.120 I'm on the board of the Center for Integral Wisdom.

00:41:42.020 And there was a fellow named Warren Farrell there who's really done a lot of work with

00:41:46.180 both girls and boys research and stuff like that.

00:41:49.920 In fact, he's the guy who started the White House Council on Girls and Women, and now he's

00:41:55.460 lobbying to start a White House Council on Boys and Men.

00:41:58.740 Interesting.

00:41:58.900 Yeah.

00:41:59.220 So put him on your list and tell him I sent you.

00:42:01.780 I could probably hook you up too as an interview.

00:42:04.060 So anyways, he said that, you know, he was talking about suicide.

00:42:08.120 I said, you know, from the ages of like one to nine, you know, basically boys and girls

00:42:13.260 don't commit suicide, but it does happen, but it's, they're basically at the same rate

00:42:16.900 and it's, it's very low.

00:42:18.460 But then from 10 to 15, boys are twice as likely to commit suicide as girls.

00:42:24.280 Right.

00:42:24.800 And it doesn't stop there.

00:42:26.040 Right.

00:42:26.480 From 16 to like 21, it's four times.

00:42:30.780 And then from 22 to 20, you know, don't quote me on these exact brackets.

00:42:35.180 Right.

00:42:35.560 Right.

00:42:35.700 Like 26, it's six times or something like that.

00:42:38.980 It's, it's unbelievable.

00:42:40.260 Like the magnitude.

00:42:41.820 And this whole point is that boys and even men have been just demonized, you know, by

00:42:47.460 the feminist movement.

00:42:48.960 It swung the pendulum so far in the opposite direction that boys, guys are made to look 1.00

00:42:54.940 like wimps or assholes. 1.00

00:42:56.360 You know what I mean? 1.00

00:42:56.880 Mm hmm.

00:42:57.340 Yeah.

00:42:57.920 Yeah.

00:42:58.080 And so what I think, you know, to answer your question is like, I, I was very fortunate to

00:43:02.520 be around some incredible, incredibly powerful men and role models through the Navy SEALs,

00:43:09.700 through my martial arts training.

00:43:11.500 And I, you know, I try to provide that role model to my tribe with SEAL Fit and Unbeal Mind

00:43:17.280 and to, um, obviously my family and what it means is just to be authentic, right?

00:43:23.560 To be authentic about developing yourself, to be, to be present, you know, uh, with your

00:43:28.980 family and your teams and to do the work to be strong.

00:43:33.840 Right.

00:43:34.340 Nobody likes a wimp, you know, and, and, and, you know, I cringe when wimps, you know, 1.00

00:43:38.980 I'm, when I'm around wimps, uh, like, come on, you know, I don't care if you don't think 1.00

00:43:43.200 of yourself as, you know, Arnold Schwarzenegger, you know, a lot of those bodybuilders are wimps

00:43:49.240 too.

00:43:49.900 You know what I mean?

00:43:50.260 And if you're a bodybuilder listening, I'm not speaking to you on, you know who I'm talking

00:43:53.280 about people who hide behind their muscles and they're all puffy and their ego, men, real

00:43:59.000 men work on their ego.

00:44:00.940 They're humble.

00:44:02.240 Real men take time to be useful and they're, they, they, they're not self-centered.

00:44:08.140 You know, they're coaching their kids' teams, uh, in high school or, you know, or, or, you

00:44:12.980 know, middle school, they're helping out with fundraisers.

00:44:16.860 They're being a role model.

00:44:18.500 They're not selfish.

00:44:19.880 They get out of their own, uh, their own way.

00:44:22.260 And also real men don't wallow in their own, in a pity party about how life sucks or how much

00:44:28.460 of a victim they are.

00:44:29.280 Real men take care of business, figure things out and, you know, continue to move forward 1.00

00:44:35.540 growing and learning every day.

00:44:37.580 Right?

00:44:37.940 So that's kind of it.

00:44:39.220 There's a ton more I could say about it, but men take responsibility for their actions

00:44:43.620 and those are their teammates and they earn their trident every day and the trident's

00:44:47.120 the Navy SEAL insignia.

00:44:48.740 And so they don't, um, they don't sit back waiting for the government or anyone else to

00:44:53.880 give them a handout.

00:44:54.960 Right.

00:44:55.180 Such a great answer.

00:44:56.220 We're going to leave it there.

00:44:57.040 But before we do, I want to, um, let everybody know how they can connect with you.

00:45:00.600 If they want to know about SEAL fit training, they want to know about your book or how to

00:45:04.500 connect and learn more about what you're doing.

00:45:05.940 How do they do that?

00:45:07.040 Oh, great.

00:45:07.940 Uh, great question, Ryan.

00:45:09.100 So anyone's really interested in the training of SEAL fit or just wants to be inspired.

00:45:13.460 Uh, we have a ton of videos and I have blogs, a blog that comes out every week and a podcast

00:45:18.020 and that's all at SEAL fit.com S E A L F I T all one word.com.

00:45:22.920 If you're interested in my mental training, it's called unbeatable mind.

00:45:26.060 Uh, you can either start with a book, just go to amazon.com and search for unbeatable

00:45:30.160 mind, or we have an online training academy, which I had a couple thousand people go through.

00:45:34.840 They love it.

00:45:35.300 And that's at unbeatable mind.com again, all one word.

00:45:38.680 And you know, uh, Ryan, I'd love to offer, uh, your listeners a couple copies of my, um,

00:45:44.240 book, the way of the SEAL or unbeatable mind or, or one of each.

00:45:46.840 So if you want to figure out how to, um, to give those away, then I'd be very pleased

00:45:51.180 to ship them out.

00:45:52.800 Awesome.

00:45:53.240 Thank you.

00:45:53.740 Yeah.

00:45:53.880 We'll take you up on that offer for sure.

00:45:55.260 It's a great book.

00:45:55.920 I know I've read through it and then, so I appreciate you doing that.

00:45:58.340 Yeah.

00:45:58.640 Yeah.

00:45:58.820 My pleasure.

00:45:59.620 All right, Mark, it's been a pleasure to have you on the show.

00:46:01.460 Thanks again for joining us today.

00:46:02.560 Yeah, it was great.

00:46:03.040 Thanks, Ryan.

00:46:03.540 Good luck with everything.

00:46:04.620 Thanks for joining us today, men.

00:46:05.940 And as you saw the show was jam packed with a ton of information on how you can clear

00:46:10.200 your mind as the foundation for success in your life.

00:46:12.920 Now, if you're anything like me, it's difficult to take a step back and just slow down for a

00:46:17.140 minute.

00:46:17.300 So reminders like this in my life are always helpful.

00:46:20.700 Now, if you're running or working out or driving or whatever, and you want to get some

00:46:24.640 of the information about this episode and you don't have access to that right now, remember

00:46:27.840 that you can head over to order of man.com slash zero one six to get all the information

00:46:33.820 and the notes from the show.

00:46:35.260 And while you're there, please, again, leave us a rating or review.

00:46:38.180 We're at 92 ratings right now, reviews right now, and we're trying to break 100 this week.

00:46:42.880 So you can do that at order of man.com slash iTunes.

00:46:46.020 Now, next week, I have a conversation with an entrepreneur who left his previous job to

00:46:51.000 pursue a passion and a hobby of his.

00:46:53.100 He's just got back from a month long trip to Europe and for a business conference and

00:46:57.820 then also visiting his manufacturers and distributors in China.

00:47:01.140 And he's going to talk with us all about why and how to pursue your passion and then turn

00:47:06.060 that into a career.

00:47:07.280 So you will not want to miss that.

00:47:08.800 So be sure to subscribe to the show right after you leave that review.

00:47:11.420 And guys, I will look forward to being with you here next week.

00:47:14.860 But until then, take action and become the man you were meant to be.

00:47:19.140 Thank you for listening to the order of man podcast.

00:47:22.100 You're ready to take charge of your life and be more of the man you were meant to be.

00:47:25.780 We invite you to join the order at order of man.com.

Order of Man - July 07, 2015

OoM 016： The Power of Silence, Meditation, and the Mind with Commander Mark Divine

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