OoM 016： The Power of Silence, Meditation, and the Mind with Commander Mark Divine
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Summary
Retired Navy SEAL Commander Mark Devine makes the case for the power of silence, meditation, and the mind when it comes to laying the framework for your future success. He is an accomplished martial artist, a yoga instructor, and author of Unbeatable Mind and the Way of the SEAL. He also is the founder of SEAL Fit, a leading website for gear and information about the SEALs.
Transcript
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Guys, unless you can get crystal clear about what you want and how to create a plan to
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accomplish your goals, it will be difficult to realize any measure of success in your
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So my guest today, retired Navy SEAL, Commander Mark Devine, makes the case for the power
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of silence, meditation, and the mind when it comes to laying the framework for your
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You live life to the fullest, embrace your fears, and boldly chart your own path.
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When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time, every time.
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You are not easily deterred or defeated, rugged, resilient, strong.
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At the end of the day, and after all is said and done, you can call yourself a man.
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I'm Ryan McClure, the founder of Order Man, and we have got a great show lined up for you
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today with a retired Navy SEAL all about silence, meditation, concentration, and the power of
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And you will want to make sure you stick around also to the end of this episode because Mark
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gives us one of the best answers I've ever heard on what it means to be a man.
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You can tell he's thought a lot about that, and he gets fired up about the topic.
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Now, before we get into that episode, I do want to humbly ask that you leave us a rating
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If you've listened to some of the other episodes, I hope that you've gained some value from that.
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And if you're listening for the first time today, I know that you'll see the value
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So head over to orderofman.com slash iTunes, and please, if you would, leave us a review.
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And remember, as always, we've got the show notes for this show up, and they can be found
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Today, I have the pleasure of introducing retired Navy SEAL commander Mark Devine.
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Mark's first career of all things was as a certified public accountant.
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Four years later, he left the corporate world to pursue his vision to become a Navy SEAL
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Now, at 26, he graduated as Honor Man, which is the number one ranked trainee of his SEAL
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He then served for nine years total on active duty and 11 as a reserve SEAL, retiring as
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He is the founder of navyseals.com, which is a leading website for gear and information about
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And then later, he launched U.S. Tactical, which is a program that has been credited with
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increasing the quality of Navy SEAL candidates, also reducing the attrition rate at BUDS by up
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And then it was also the inspiration of his new program, which I'm excited about, which
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So, Mark Devine is an accomplished martial artist, a yoga instructor, and also the author
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of Unbeatable Mind and the Way of the SEAL, which we talk a little bit about in this episode.
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Mark Devine, I'm so excited to have you on the show.
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So, one of the things I'm really interested in is your business background, which is probably
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the reason that you've been so successful in some of your endeavors outside of what you've
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And you had somewhat of a different in into your Navy SEAL training and your military
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Can you tell me a little bit about your background?
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Most people are kind of surprised when I tell them that prior to being a Navy SEAL, a rootin'
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tootin' frog man, I was actually a CPA, Certified Public Accountant in New York State.
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But, you know, it was one of those things where I went to a small liberal arts school
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called Colgate University, which was about 40 minutes from where I grew up.
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And, you know, my family was a business family.
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We have a company that's over 100 years old, you know, so it's been passed down generation
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And so it just kind of, you know, hammered into us that we were a business family and that,
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you know, we were going to ultimately end up at the family business.
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And so when I went to Colgate, I majored in economics.
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And then after Colgate, you know, or right at the end of the four years there, I ended
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up, you know, applying for positions like my friends were all, you know, getting these
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I guess we're going to medical school, you know, those were kind of the big two or law
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And so I kind of like just followed that bandwagon.
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I just kind of thought that was what was supposed to happen.
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So I ended up getting hired by Coopers and Librand and it was a group of us and they
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And, you know, there I was just kind of like chugging along next to me.
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I'm studying for the CPA exam and going to school at night and just working my tail off
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And, you know, it literally was a four year odyssey of just nonstop studying and work and
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then trying to maintain my physical training and regimen in the cracks, you know, early
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And at lunchtime I would go work out and train and then join the martial arts studio.
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And so I would cram in a class on my way from work to NYU, which was down by the World Trade
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So that was, you know, I was a business guy before I became a Navy SEAL, but in big business,
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And so when I, it just seemed natural that when I left the SEALs that I would get back
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into business and it kind of made sense, but I didn't want to go back into a big corporate
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I mean, Navy is corporate and of course Arthur Anderson and Coopers, who I'd worked with
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And so I thought I'd go in the entrepreneurial route and SEALs are pretty entrepreneurial anyways.
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Is it something in them that just, that drive or competition, what makes it that way?
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Yeah, well, it really is the type of person who's attracted to the program and the way
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You know, it's very different than any other branch or service.
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You know, the SEALs are very small unit, about 1800 of us.
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It was much smaller when I went through, you know, it was about half that size.
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And, you know, one of our terms was Semper Gumby.
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You know, the Marine Corps is Semper Fi, which is always faithful.
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And the SEALs was Semper Gumby, you know, basically that little green bendy gumby.
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And so we trained ourselves to never get rigid in our thinking, never to accept the plan as
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the final plan, right, to always be juking and jiving and figuring things out along the
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And just so happens that that mindset is utterly, you know, perfectly suited for entrepreneurship.
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We've got to deal with so many ups and downs and trials and things that we've got to
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I actually read that in your book, I think, just over the past couple of days and saw that.
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That would be a great title for a book, actually.
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So trying to find time to work on my physical strength and work on mental fortitude and toughness,
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those things are hard because sometimes I'm just behind the desk getting busy.
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So what happened for you that made you make this big shift in your life?
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Well, I was very fortunate to kind of connect with my first mentor, like who I would consider
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And it was through this martial art that I had started, which was about 300 or 400 feet
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from where I lived in 23rd Street in Manhattan.
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It was the world headquarters of Seido Karate, S-E-I-D-O.
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So and Kaicho, which means Grand Master Nakamura, was the head guy.
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And, you know, when I started training there, you know, he became my teacher because he taught
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I mean, he had thousands and thousands of students around the world, but he made it a
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point to not be flitting around the world, but to stay right there and let people come
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I was trying to follow that with SealFit, but it's still a little challenging.
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So anyways, he was very much into mind, body, spirit.
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But what I loved about him in retrospect is he didn't just talk about it.
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The body part was easy, and a lot of people get that.
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And most martial arts and yoga today is just about the body, you know, just move the body,
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sweat, you know, physical fitness, functional fitness, martial arts, you know, use the techniques
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And then, you know, the prevailing wisdom is that over time, you know, you're going
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to cultivate a stronger mind and mental toughness.
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Well, Nakamura said, you know what, that's great, but we're also going to develop our
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mind through meditation and through lecture and through team, you know, type of training
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that developed emotional strength and those types of things.
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And so, you know, what really cracked me open was sitting on the meditation bench, you
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know, with the Zen practice, you know, we had these little austere wooden benches and
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we sit on it and we'd meditate for 45 minutes at a time.
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And, you know, it's for anyone who's tried that, it's hard to even do five minutes at
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So it took me, literally, it took me a year or two, I would say, before I could really
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clear my mind and stay focused and, you know, concentrate for more than a few minutes
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And that really, that process of deepening my concentration, then clearing my mind, you
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know, my rational mind, you know, one that's always just like constantly churning about
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this and that, the one that was, you know, listening to all the bullshit about what I
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should do and my relationship to my peers and money and all that, all those belief systems
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But when you sat in silence and you're able to concentrate over time, you're able to settle
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your mind and then you start to, you're able to examine those things become the, because
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When the noise is loud, you can't really pay attention to those patterns because they're
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But when the noise settles down, those patterns become really, really obvious.
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And so I was able to look at those patterns and, you know, examine them and say, you know
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what, if this is what I'm supposed to do, then why, why am I miserable?
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If this is what I'm supposed to do, why don't I care about the money?
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If this is what I'm supposed to do, why is there, why do I have no interest or passion
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And then the contrast to all that is if that's not what I'm meant to do, if I'm not meant
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to be a CPA slash, you know, family business guy, then what, what, what is meant to be,
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And so it was just this odyssey that took me, you know, about three years to work through
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and what came up was that I, you know, actually was a warrior and I was, you know, never taught
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I was never led to be a warrior, but it was coming out of me, you know, through this martial
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arts practice and through the silence practice that I was meant to be a warrior and I was
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meant to, you know, lead in a more adventurous life and sitting in a chair and being in a suit
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And, you know, at 20, I was now 24 years old that I had, um, you know, I had the rest
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of my life in front of me and I wanted to be, I wanted to be, you know, super happy and
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I mean, I want to be happy, but I meant I wanted to be, um, content with my life.
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And I didn't want to be on my deathbed and thinking, God, I wish I had done something
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I'm glad we're having this conversation because I think a lot of the times, and I'm
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guilty of this too, as men, it's like, go, go, go, go, go.
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And we get into a routine or we get into a habit and we think that this is the right thing
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And sometimes that's what it comes down to is we feel like, Hey, the responsible thing
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if I've got a family or somebody relying on me is to continue down this direction.
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And so to have the, the clarity from just silence.
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And like you said, meditation seems like it's been pretty valuable for you.
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It's extremely valuable for me and it continues to be to this day.
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And I was just fortunate enough to kind of find it in my early twenties and I never stopped.
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And, you know, it really helped me dramatically, you know, in my, even in the SEAL training.
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I mean, I, I really kind of sailed through my training class.
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It was hard work, but it wasn't that hard, you know, because I had trained my mind to
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really stay focused and to be positive and to what I call see the wind in my mind.
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I could, I could clearly see myself succeeding at every task that was thrown at me.
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And I was able to maintain a really, really clear mind and, uh, focused on the right things
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And all those skills just proved to be extraordinarily valuable.
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And I ended up as honor man in my class because of that.
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And it was a lot of what I learned from Nakamura and, you know, a little bit before that when
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I was in competitive sports and using visualization techniques, uh, for that.
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But where would you suggest that a man starts when, you know, maybe he's listening to this,
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I'm listening to this and thinking, okay, this is more valuable than initially I would
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And I've talked with a lot of successful men who would agree with you and share your sentiments
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Where do you guys start who, you know, they've never taken a deep breath and they've never
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stopped for a second to think about their life.
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How, how would you suggest somebody gets into silence and meditation and clarity?
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Yeah, well, I mean, that's just such a good question because it really kind of depends
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upon where you're at and your level of urgency to change, right?
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So if you're not, if you're kind of just lukewarm about it and you just want to dip your toe
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Um, but if you're deeply moved to begin to, uh, change process, then that's cool because,
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you know, the, the first step is to commit, to commit to developing yourself, commit to
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deepening your awareness so that you can learn the answers to that, the questions of, you
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So you can clarify your purpose and your passion and your principles and then set sail in that
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So it takes a deep commitment to really begin a process of self-awareness and self-discovery.
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Now the tools are, you know, there are many paths to follow, as you know, and let's say
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there's many paths to enlightenment, just choose one and stick with it.
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So for me, the path was, uh, initially it was through the martial arts, hard physical training
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Cause I'm sitting on the bus or, you know what I mean?
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No, you literally are sitting either on a chair or on a mat and you are practicing silence,
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So that's where I kind of start with my Unbeable Mind program.
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I say, okay, let's, let's start out with practicing silence.
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But what I do is I use a breath control practice I call box breathing.
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So it's super powerful because it has the added benefit of basically regulating their
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arousal control, you know, their, their response to stress.
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And so the process I have them do is breathe through their nose, deep into their belly and
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have a breath hold at the inhale and at the, after the exhale.
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So, and I, you know, have them breathe in this kind of box pattern.
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It's called a one four second pattern, I think is what, is what it is, right?
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It can be anything really, but the, um, you know, most people at the beginning four or five
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is, you know, even five can be a stretch, especially on the exhale hold, you know, um, when I do
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it, I usually do it like a 10 count across the board.
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So it becomes a 40 second threshold, 40 second duration breath or, you know, my, my, my main,
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my threshold where I'm comfortable is around 55 or something like that.
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So it's like where I'm, you know, I'm able to, to breathe like one breath a minute using
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It's very good for your nervous system and it doubles as a concentration practice.
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And so most people think that anything, you know, where you're just sitting with your
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eyes closed is meditation and that's probably accurate, but it doesn't mean you're doing
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And so the first step of meditation is to concentrate on something that gives your mind a hook or
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One is you're deep in your powers of concentration, your ability to concentrate on one thing for extended
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And two is it's, it, it causes the rest of your rational mind to kind of slow down and
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So a, an unconcentrated mind bounces from one idea to another, you know, any type of stimulus
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or external, internal, you know, will cause your mind to spin up and spin around.
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And, you know, people just get all these, you know, they get stuck in these ruts and loops
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that just keep, lead them in circles all the time.
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And so they have difficulty really focusing on a long-term goal or project.
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They have difficulty finishing things because, you know, emotionally they get stuck on, you
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know, fear of success or fear of failure or fear of anything really.
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And then that spins their mind under control and then they're off to the next thing, you
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And we, we live in a distracted world and there's more and more distractions coming at us every
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And now we're, we, we carry our distractions around with us in our iPhones or our Android
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And we're always on them as opposed to taking time to concentrate and focus and sharpen our
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So box breathing, you know, to answer your question specifically, I would say, if you want to start,
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if you're listening to this and you want to start down the path of clarifying your life,
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sharpening your focus, maybe making some better decisions and shifting so that you can be more
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successful, more happy, more peace of mind, even provide more for your family, then the starting
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point is, is our box breathing practice, which is going to make you very calm, very centered,
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very focused and clear out all the garbage in your mind that's causing you to make decisions that
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I want to go back to something you said that was pretty intriguing to me.
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And I've had a little bit of an experience with this.
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You said that you sailed through, uh, buds and seal training relatively easy, although it was
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I went through basic training, which is, uh, of course not nearly the, to the level of
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training that you had, but, uh, I saw this in the men that I was training with.
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Some guys just had it together and some just didn't, and it, it didn't have that much to
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Well, physical strength is easy to come by, right?
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Really just take some, take some time and some effort.
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And in those training programs, in, in seal training and to a lesser extent in some of
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the other programs, like what you went through, you know, the point isn't to test your physical.
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If you don't have it, you won't get in or you won't get very far for sure.
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And so, you know, injury or something will crop up, but reality is for the seal program,
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most people had the physical or else they weren't, they didn't make it to the front door,
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There's thousands of people who try every year and there's about 200, I'm sorry, there's
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about 975 or so who make it into the front door buds and there's about 225 who make it
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So there's only 225 new seals minted every year.
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You know, everyone who comes into the program is physically capable because you just have
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So like you said, now what happens is the, you know, we get tested on the physical, but
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the way you're, you know, the way you react, the way you respond to the instructors, your
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ability to deal with the nonstop grind day in and day out for, for nine or 10 months, the
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ability to focus on the right goals, you know, they're going to lead you to success and
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the ability to manage your mind so that you maintain a positive state all the time and
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are able to lead your team and to be led by your team.
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So these are all the things that are being judged and graded by the instructor staff and
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they all have to do with the ability to control your mind and control your emotions, which leads
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And so those become the, the gold standard skills and it's not so much, you know, who's
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I've seen many, many physical studs quit, you know, and just bail on the training and
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all, a lot of times like the athleticism, the, the all-star athletes where things have
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come easy for them and they're used to a lot of praise.
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I mean, often they don't make it because in the SEAL training, nobody cares how many touchdowns
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you threw or passes you caught in your high school football team or college.
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And there's Olympic athletes who go through SEAL training.
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What they want to know is, are you going to be a good teammate?
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In order for you to have my back, you've got to be in control.
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You've got to be able to, to be useful to the team in the most extreme circumstances.
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You can't be a Rambo where you're hunkering down and say, I got it.
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You know, when the shit storm starts, you got to look around and say, okay, guys, who
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And you're, you're actually more concerned about your teammates than you are about yourself.
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And when the whole team is acting like that, it's an incredibly powerful thing.
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It's one of the reasons SEALs are so successful is you've got 16 guys in a task unit who are
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all looking out for each other's, you know, more than they're looking out for themselves.
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And, you know, you tend to have an accelerating effect on performance when you've got 15 other
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How do the trainers test for that ability to work as a team?
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Well, a lot of the drills and skills that they teach are things you just can't do alone.
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I mean, aside from the individual fitness things like, you know, okay, we're going to go out
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But even on an ocean swim, like a five mile ocean swim, you are swimming with your swim
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You're swimming face to face, side by side, in sync for five miles or six miles.
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And it's extremely potent, you know, team exercise.
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You know, it's really intimate to say, you know, in a different way.
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It's like you are literally breathing in sync for that long in the water.
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That, you know, if you can't do that, right, if you can't, you know, get out of your little
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limited self and just sync up with another human being, you fail that evolution.
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You know, other things where they make you do something as a team, you know, like take
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Now you got to take your boat up the cargo net and down the cargo net.
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And so they do, you know, it's like the ultimate leadership program where they,
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they, you can have, you get tested on all these individual skills and performance every
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You have to improve your scores on the obstacle course, on the runs and on the swims.
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You have to put out on the PTs, you know, the physical training.
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But then they also watch your performance as a teammate.
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They watch your willingness and your readiness, you know, without prompting to lend support to
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your teammates or to be there for your teammates.
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Are you, are you, you know, hunkered down and just focused on your stuff or are you,
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is your head on a swivel constantly, you know, looking for opportunities to help your team?
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And so they, they survey all of your teammates asking for feedback and they have, you know,
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the students kind of rank based upon their leadership skills and their teaming skills and
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So the instructors end up getting a very, very good picture of who is going to be a
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You know, who's going to be the kind of guy you can rely on in combat.
00:24:16.380
And those are the guys who end up making it really.
00:24:19.740
The thing on that is like, yeah, guys, if you don't quit, you know, or get injured and
00:24:24.440
you're, and just because you're a super stud, the instructors, if they don't want you on
00:24:28.880
the team, if they know that you're going to suck as a teammate, they will find a way.
00:24:35.860
Cause it sounds like, I mean, some guys, like you said, probably just tough, tough through
00:24:40.040
Just physically just tough through the issue and they can make it through some of those
00:24:44.560
I really, I'm, I'm intrigued that you said receive help, receive help from those around
00:24:51.740
because I think as guys, we tend to be prideful, like it's more noble to go at it alone, I
00:24:56.200
And so we, we block or we turn off those people who are trying to reach out and trying to lend
00:25:00.760
a hand rather than saying, yeah, I could use a hand up and there's nothing weak or dishonorable
00:25:06.000
in that if you're all trying to accomplish the same goal.
00:25:09.000
I just brought to mind an incident I had when I was like in fifth grade, there was some kid
00:25:15.760
He was a big kid, but he was getting picked on, no, not being the brightest tool in the
00:25:20.660
And I went up to him to offer him some assistance and he punched me in the face.
00:25:26.160
I remember that like yesterday, I'm like, why did you just punch me in the face?
00:25:30.260
You know, not only did it hurt, but I was like, what the hell?
00:25:34.760
That was the point you made is he wasn't ready to receive any help.
00:25:38.460
You know, he, he didn't think he was supposed to or needed to.
00:25:40.900
His dad probably thought it was a sign of weakness and taught him that.
00:25:44.180
And what we learned in the SEALs is it's not weakness to receive help and it's strength
00:25:50.760
And we learned very quickly that nobody can do it alone and no mission is accomplished
00:25:57.340
Even if you are a sole sniper out in the field, you have tens, if not hundreds of people supporting
00:26:07.480
You know, these guys are, are, and ladies are out there to bring you back home.
00:26:11.520
And Rambos don't make it, you know, they really don't.
00:26:17.240
Makes for a good movie, but it's not real in a special ops setting or any, any corporate
00:26:30.120
All the greatest accomplishments in the world were done with, you know, with team and tremendous
00:26:38.560
Well, I'm really intrigued with your seal fit training because, um, you've, you've been
00:26:44.060
able to, through that training, reduce the attrition, it sounds like.
00:26:47.500
And so I'm really curious about how you're doing that.
00:26:49.760
If, if someone's going through that training versus if they just go straight into, um, buds
00:26:55.540
or, you know, just straight into that training without going through the, the seal fit program
00:26:59.940
Well, the seal, the seal fit program that I, you know, I originally started it for spec
00:27:04.600
ops candidates and particular seals, but it was open to anybody.
00:27:08.000
Uh, now it's open to all, you know, most of our clients are actually professionals and
00:27:12.320
people who just want to take part in the training to become better people.
00:27:16.940
But the way it works is, is, you know, if we have a, um, two programs, one is a crucible
00:27:22.740
type experience, which is like hell week, which is just intense, nonstop 50 hours of training.
00:27:36.820
You know, you know, a lot of guys don't come through our training and make it through seals.
00:27:41.180
They're typically the stronger ones where they, you know, they've got their own crucible
00:27:44.280
experiences that they've been through, you know, like, uh, college wrestlers or even
00:27:49.540
That's a great program for the seals because it really, you know, wrestling is a gut busting
00:27:54.220
sport and it requires a lot of discipline, a lot of fortitude, a lot of determination
00:27:59.140
to stay the course over, you know, several years of wrestling.
00:28:03.560
Those skills tend to translate very well to the seals.
00:28:07.320
But a lot of folks, if you didn't, if you didn't have those, or even if you did seal
00:28:12.860
I've said in the past that we like to inoculate you against failure and the folks who come
00:28:18.720
through seal fit, who are serious about becoming a seal, we teach them the mental skills, you
00:28:24.540
know, similar to the ones that I had, but I've been, you know, refining them and honing
00:28:29.800
So we teach you the mental skills that make you indomitable, right?
00:28:33.300
Not, you know, that's that non quitting spirit, the ability to be a great teammate, the ability
00:28:38.140
to control your mind and emotions in the most intense circumstances like pool comp or drawn
00:28:48.660
We, we, we do it through that 50 hour program and we do it through a two week, uh, 20, like
00:28:54.060
18 days, actually special ops immersion Academy.
00:28:59.220
Well, it's not nonstop, but it's live in training here at our headquarters in Encinitas, California.
00:29:04.280
You know, we train from five in the morning until like eight or nine at night.
00:29:10.380
And then the graduation exercise is the 50 hour, uh, Kokoro camp.
00:29:15.360
So these folks, the guys who come to the spec ops Academy and, and we have a five day version
00:29:20.840
too, they, um, tend to do extremely well in seal training.
00:29:24.200
I think anecdotally, cause I don't have exact records.
00:29:30.180
It sounds like you're almost giving him in a way, just a taste of what's to come and being
00:29:33.740
And that's what I noticed when I went through basic training is the guys who, who succeeded
00:29:38.740
and who were able to get through it, you know, relatively easily were the ones that have
00:29:44.440
Like you said, wrestling or football, baseball, whatever it may be.
00:29:47.200
Or maybe they had a, a parent or a sibling who had gone through it before.
00:29:52.040
And so they went to the table with clear expectations of what it was going to actually
00:29:57.060
And you hit on a really important point that it's important to have a, an honest assessment
00:30:05.520
You know, we've had a lot of seal candidates come out through here and quit our training.
00:30:09.360
And then they've already, they're already on contract with the Navy.
00:30:12.300
And so we tell them, Hey, don't go, you know, go tell your recruiter, you know, you got injured
00:30:16.120
or, you know, you, you, you change your mind and you want to go next fall or something
00:30:21.460
If you came and you couldn't make it through seal fit, you're never going to make it through
00:30:25.360
And about half of them agree and have the courage to go back and to do that.
00:30:30.120
And about the other half are like, no, I'm, I'm, I'm on contract.
00:30:37.360
So then they're off chipping pain on the USS never sale or something like that.
00:30:40.660
So, you know, we want, you know, you, we want to have a good assessment of where you're
00:30:46.260
And so seal fit programs tend to give you that assessment because we're, you know, it's
00:30:50.340
the game on it is every bit as hard for the limited time period as seal training.
00:30:56.040
Like seal training is hard, hard, hard because it's nine months long and seal fit is hard,
00:31:08.220
But the most important thing is we don't just want you to suck it up and get through
00:31:12.100
We want to teach you the skills of mental toughness and resiliency and leadership and teaming,
00:31:18.520
And so we give you that skills and we test you in the pressure and, and make sure you
00:31:22.580
understand what you're facing, you know, if you're going down that path.
00:31:29.640
If you're a business professional or any endeavor in life, not just for spec ops candidates,
00:31:33.760
because, you know, whatever, what, what seals learn is, you know, how to navigate and win
00:31:41.460
in the most chaotic, dangerous, and murky situations in the world known to man.
00:31:49.380
And business is starting to look a lot like that these days, isn't it?
00:31:55.420
Let's talk about how, and I think the point that you're bringing up, and this was one of
00:31:59.220
the chapters I enjoyed in the book was, I think it's called establishing your set point, if
00:32:06.440
Because that's what you're talking about in, you know, SEAL training and military training.
00:32:10.100
How does establishing your set point transition into civilian life, whether it's with your
00:32:16.180
Well, in the context of business or professional life, what I mean by that is to know who you
00:32:23.580
So a lot of people, they will begin with trying to get a, you know, with a wish or desire
00:32:31.180
of someplace that they'd like to be, you know, that's not here, right?
00:32:35.900
So they say, I want to be a successful businessman, or I want to be a partner at a CPA firm, or I
00:32:41.780
want to have my own business and earn a million dollars.
00:32:46.680
You know, that's, that's a loose notion of a, of a possible future.
00:32:51.540
And we can tighten that up quite a bit, by the way, you know, by through proper visualization
00:32:56.320
and planning techniques, you know, we can get a very clear vision, a very detailed description
00:33:02.380
and articulated mission for what that looks like.
00:33:07.440
But as you push off to execute toward that, if you don't know where you stand now, then
00:33:15.720
It's kind of like you set off on a mission, and you don't know where you are, then you
00:33:30.040
So the set point for, for professionals and for anyone really is a deep understanding
00:33:36.460
of, of your skills, physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, of your practical
00:33:45.780
You know, like if you want to be a partner at a CPA firm and you're, and you've never even
00:33:50.700
taken an accounting class, then, you know, you better set some targets up that are going
00:33:58.020
And then there's the, am I, the, the, the becoming type goals or, or skills.
00:34:03.880
Like, are you, what type of person do you need to be?
00:34:07.080
And this is, you know, really brings home with a lot of SEAL candidates.
00:34:09.900
Like, ultimately, SEAL training is about character.
00:34:15.860
And a lot of guys come in and say they think it's all about just, like we've been talking
00:34:21.840
Or even if they're mentally tough, they can still be jerks, right?
00:34:25.620
And if you're, if you're mentally tough and you're physically tough and you're a jerk,
00:34:28.780
you're, you're still not going to make it through SEAL training.
00:34:31.560
So you've got to have an honest assessment of where you're at so that you can then fill
00:34:36.280
the gaps between, you know, where you are now and where you need to be in order to be
00:34:40.800
even remotely successful at that goal that you're going after.
00:34:44.960
It's equally as important to work on filling the gaps and knowing yourself and your set
00:34:49.520
point so that you build that foundation so that as you push off toward that goal, you're
00:34:56.200
And you can always answer the question why you're doing something and you know where you
00:35:01.840
So when, when danger comes your way or when people start questioning you or challenging
00:35:06.600
you, that you have a firm ground to stand on and you can, you can make good decisions.
00:35:12.460
You know, you don't get, you don't waver, you know, you don't lose confidence.
00:35:19.660
And I think that can be so hard is establishing that set point.
00:35:22.320
I know a year and a half ago I weighed 50 more pounds than I do today.
00:35:26.140
And one of the hardest things I knew what I had to do.
00:35:28.600
I mean, we, we know eat better exercise, right?
00:35:32.100
But the hardest thing was starting because I was so afraid to get on the scale.
00:35:36.140
Like I knew I was overweight, but I was so afraid of getting on the scale because of that
00:35:40.800
gap, like you said, of where I was today and where I knew I wanted to be.
00:35:51.600
It's, but it doesn't, you know, it doesn't really take any more work to go after a big
00:35:57.780
It's just that it seems more, it just seems more overwhelming.
00:36:03.140
The reality is you just have to chunk it down into smaller pieces, right?
00:36:06.820
If you, if you have to lose a hundred pounds, then you have to have a little bit longer timeline
00:36:11.020
and you have to chunk it down into more bite-sized chunks, so to speak, than if you just need
00:36:17.840
At the same, and you might have to have a higher level of commitment and really, really
00:36:27.320
You know, I always say that you have to have one thing.
00:36:29.740
It could be one thing in different areas of your life, but there's like one thing that
00:36:32.740
is the most important thing that you're moving toward every day.
00:36:35.480
You have actions and thought around it every single day and imagery and visualization, you
00:36:41.400
know, and it might be a new business launch or a new book, a book you're writing, or, you
00:36:46.340
know, for some might be getting the Navy SEAL trident or, but there's always one thing.
00:36:51.140
There's one thing in your life and then there's one thing, you know, in a longer period of time
00:36:55.980
that you're driving toward that's connected to that.
00:36:57.540
And then there's one thing that you're working on right now that's connected to that.
00:37:02.160
And in fact, I was just talking, I'm having a conversation with, I wish I could remember
00:37:06.860
his last name, Jay, the author of a book called One Thing, and it's really neat because he's
00:37:13.420
got the same philosophy and he actually uses that term, one thing, obviously, because he
00:37:18.500
But it's a really good book and it helps you understand how to focus, right?
00:37:28.480
I didn't learn it from his book, but when I read his book, I wanted to reference it right
00:37:31.120
away because he really helped to kind of narrow that concept down for me.
00:37:40.520
Yeah, Gary Keller is the co-author, founder of Keller Williams and is Jay, something was
00:37:54.260
So one of the things I want to talk about, I was going to tell you this story, is about
00:37:57.080
two years ago, I led a youth group on just under 20 mile hike over two days.
00:38:05.040
It's a lot of inclines and a lot of variations and elevation.
00:38:08.360
And I told the boys that it was, I think there was six of them at the time.
00:38:11.300
And I said, we need to come up with a motto as we go on this hike and what we're going
00:38:16.600
And what they came up with was, I will find a way or make one.
00:38:21.900
And then I saw that in your book and that totally resonated with me.
00:38:24.860
So I want to talk about finding a way or making one.
00:38:29.460
What I mean by that is, it has to do with an attitude of failure not being an option.
00:38:39.760
So as you have a plan, let's say you decide that you're going to change careers.
00:38:45.600
And so you get a plan together and you spend some time obviously researching and figuring
00:38:50.580
out what it is you want to do and how you're going to do it and what classes you got to
00:38:55.480
And then you begin to execute toward that plan.
00:38:58.580
It never, ever works out the way you conceived it.
00:39:05.760
You know, in the seals, we learned this and I'm sure, you know, when you were in the
00:39:11.120
So once you got out the wire, you know, the plan pretty much takes, gets put on the shelf
00:39:15.400
and you have to become very adaptable to the circumstances.
00:39:22.240
So same thing, executing any business or, or project.
00:39:25.780
And when you come across an obstacle, instead of stopping or shirking or, you know, falling
00:39:32.140
back or retreating, seals are taught to find a way around that obstacle, over it, under
00:39:38.500
And if none of those, you know, work, then we have to make a way, you know, we might like
00:39:44.400
Or literally make a tool that works or make a new plan, right?
00:39:49.120
But bottom line is the obstacles just became opportunities to figure out how to solve it
00:39:55.180
And that's really what we mean by find a way or make a way is like, there is no, there's
00:40:02.720
This is just a temporary, a temporary interruption in our forward progress, but it allows us now
00:40:09.080
the opportunity to pause and figure out a way to get it done a little bit better or a little
00:40:15.660
We're not sitting there and, you know, with gnashed teeth and going all negative about, you
00:40:21.020
know, how things are all fucked up and this and that.
00:40:23.080
I mean, it's, it's basically here we are, let's figure it out.
00:40:28.100
I know here, here's a story to a lesser degree.
00:40:30.000
I told my son the other day to take the trash out and he grabbed the trash bag and he went
00:40:34.000
outside and he came back in literally 10 seconds later and he said, I can't reach the trash
00:40:41.220
So you go back out there and find a way to get the trash in the can and then you can come
00:40:48.320
So he goes back outside and I kind of kept an eye on him and he was looking around trying to
00:40:54.240
And he finally, he pulled this bench over to the trash can, lifted the lid through the
00:40:58.380
trash can and put the bench back and came back in.
00:41:00.940
His head and shoulders were higher than I'd ever seen him.
00:41:03.300
He's so proud of himself that he found a way to accomplish the task and then he could relax
00:41:08.100
So I know it's to a smaller degree, but illustrates the point.
00:41:17.940
The first one is, and I asked this to all my guests and I didn't prep you for this question,
00:41:22.380
so putting you on the spot a little bit, but what do you think it means to be a man?
00:41:26.760
You know, first of all, let me say that men have really taken some hits in this time of
00:41:34.160
You know, I don't know if you knew these stats, but I recently was at a conference for the,
00:41:40.120
I'm on the board of the Center for Integral Wisdom.
00:41:42.020
And there was a fellow named Warren Farrell there who's really done a lot of work with
00:41:46.180
both girls and boys research and stuff like that.
00:41:49.920
In fact, he's the guy who started the White House Council on Girls and Women, and now he's
00:41:55.460
lobbying to start a White House Council on Boys and Men.
00:41:59.220
So put him on your list and tell him I sent you.
00:42:01.780
I could probably hook you up too as an interview.
00:42:04.060
So anyways, he said that, you know, he was talking about suicide.
00:42:08.120
I said, you know, from the ages of like one to nine, you know, basically boys and girls
00:42:13.260
don't commit suicide, but it does happen, but it's, they're basically at the same rate
00:42:18.460
But then from 10 to 15, boys are twice as likely to commit suicide as girls.
00:42:30.780
And then from 22 to 20, you know, don't quote me on these exact brackets.
00:42:35.700
Like 26, it's six times or something like that.
00:42:41.820
And this whole point is that boys and even men have been just demonized, you know, by
00:42:48.960
It swung the pendulum so far in the opposite direction that boys, guys are made to look
00:42:58.080
And so what I think, you know, to answer your question is like, I, I was very fortunate to
00:43:02.520
be around some incredible, incredibly powerful men and role models through the Navy SEALs,
00:43:11.500
And I, you know, I try to provide that role model to my tribe with SEAL Fit and Unbeal Mind
00:43:17.280
and to, um, obviously my family and what it means is just to be authentic, right?
00:43:23.560
To be authentic about developing yourself, to be, to be present, you know, uh, with your
00:43:28.980
family and your teams and to do the work to be strong.
00:43:34.340
Nobody likes a wimp, you know, and, and, and, you know, I cringe when wimps, you know,
00:43:38.980
I'm, when I'm around wimps, uh, like, come on, you know, I don't care if you don't think
00:43:43.200
of yourself as, you know, Arnold Schwarzenegger, you know, a lot of those bodybuilders are wimps
00:43:50.260
And if you're a bodybuilder listening, I'm not speaking to you on, you know who I'm talking
00:43:53.280
about people who hide behind their muscles and they're all puffy and their ego, men, real
00:44:02.240
Real men take time to be useful and they're, they, they, they're not self-centered.
00:44:08.140
You know, they're coaching their kids' teams, uh, in high school or, you know, or, or, you
00:44:12.980
know, middle school, they're helping out with fundraisers.
00:44:22.260
And also real men don't wallow in their own, in a pity party about how life sucks or how much
00:44:29.280
Real men take care of business, figure things out and, you know, continue to move forward
00:44:39.220
There's a ton more I could say about it, but men take responsibility for their actions
00:44:43.620
and those are their teammates and they earn their trident every day and the trident's
00:44:48.740
And so they don't, um, they don't sit back waiting for the government or anyone else to
00:44:57.040
But before we do, I want to, um, let everybody know how they can connect with you.
00:45:00.600
If they want to know about SEAL fit training, they want to know about your book or how to
00:45:04.500
connect and learn more about what you're doing.
00:45:09.100
So anyone's really interested in the training of SEAL fit or just wants to be inspired.
00:45:13.460
Uh, we have a ton of videos and I have blogs, a blog that comes out every week and a podcast
00:45:18.020
and that's all at SEAL fit.com S E A L F I T all one word.com.
00:45:22.920
If you're interested in my mental training, it's called unbeatable mind.
00:45:26.060
Uh, you can either start with a book, just go to amazon.com and search for unbeatable
00:45:30.160
mind, or we have an online training academy, which I had a couple thousand people go through.
00:45:35.300
And that's at unbeatable mind.com again, all one word.
00:45:38.680
And you know, uh, Ryan, I'd love to offer, uh, your listeners a couple copies of my, um,
00:45:44.240
book, the way of the SEAL or unbeatable mind or, or one of each.
00:45:46.840
So if you want to figure out how to, um, to give those away, then I'd be very pleased
00:45:55.920
I know I've read through it and then, so I appreciate you doing that.
00:45:59.620
All right, Mark, it's been a pleasure to have you on the show.
00:46:05.940
And as you saw the show was jam packed with a ton of information on how you can clear
00:46:10.200
your mind as the foundation for success in your life.
00:46:12.920
Now, if you're anything like me, it's difficult to take a step back and just slow down for a
00:46:17.300
So reminders like this in my life are always helpful.
00:46:20.700
Now, if you're running or working out or driving or whatever, and you want to get some
00:46:24.640
of the information about this episode and you don't have access to that right now, remember
00:46:27.840
that you can head over to order of man.com slash zero one six to get all the information
00:46:35.260
And while you're there, please, again, leave us a rating or review.
00:46:38.180
We're at 92 ratings right now, reviews right now, and we're trying to break 100 this week.
00:46:42.880
So you can do that at order of man.com slash iTunes.
00:46:46.020
Now, next week, I have a conversation with an entrepreneur who left his previous job to
00:46:53.100
He's just got back from a month long trip to Europe and for a business conference and
00:46:57.820
then also visiting his manufacturers and distributors in China.
00:47:01.140
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00:47:08.800
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00:47:11.420
And guys, I will look forward to being with you here next week.
00:47:14.860
But until then, take action and become the man you were meant to be.
00:47:19.140
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00:47:22.100
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00:47:25.780
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