OoM 019： Get Your Mind Right, Stay Curious, and Take Action with Sean Whalen
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Summary
Sean Whalen is a real estate investor, a former MMA fighter, and a man who has a passion for exploring cultural mindsets, how we behave, and how we can fix many of the world s biggest problems by first fixing ourselves.
Transcript
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The problem is that we're filling our minds with trash.
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Negative information that is destroying our chances of success is everywhere.
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It's on our phone, TV, YouTube, Facebook, you name it.
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My guest today, Sean Whalen, teaches us how to get our heads on straight,
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and take massive action towards the life that we want and deserve.
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Embrace your fears and boldly chart your own path.
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When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time, every time.
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At the end of the day, and after all is said and done, you can call yourself a man.
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Welcome back, men, to the Order of Man podcast.
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As always, I am your host and the founder of Order of Man, Ryan Michler.
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I have got such a great show lined up for you today.
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A ton of valuable insights into how to succeed in life from a man that has gone through so much.
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He's gone through a ton to get where he is today.
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But either way, I do encourage you to stick around all the way to the end because this
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And many of the things that we talk about, no one else is willing to say.
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Now, I will warn you for a second that this podcast does have some language.
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But again, this conversation is so, so valuable.
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Three quick housekeeping items before we get started.
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First, if you have found any value from this podcast so far, please, if you would, leave
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And I'm willing to bet that if you're enjoying the podcast, your friends will too.
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So next, I started a book club for listeners and readers of the podcast and blog.
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I've got a lot of questions about what books I'm reading.
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And I thought it would be valuable to have a discussion around some of those things.
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So if you're interested in learning more about the book club, you can head over to
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facebook.com slash order of man to get all the details on that and what book that we'll
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Now, the last thing is, as always, we've got the show notes up for this show.
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Those can be found at order of man.com slash zero one nine.
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Now, I'm excited today to be introducing you to our guest, Sean Whalen.
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I've been a follower of Sean's work for some time now, and I had the chance to get him
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He's a real estate investor, a former pro MMA fighter, and he has got a passion for exploring
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cultural mindsets, how we behave and how we can fix many of the world's biggest problems
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Sean Whalen is the type of man who, again, you will love him or you will hate him.
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There is no middle ground with this guy, but his authentic approach to the power of our
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minds, why we do the things that we do and what steps we need to take.
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His approach is extremely, extremely refreshing.
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He's got big political aspirations beginning in 2016, but until then, you can find him breathing
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fire on his Facebook and YouTube videos where he faces head on all of our most difficult
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conversations such as racism, homosexuality, and our broken school system.
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So we talked a little bit about the moment I hit record on this podcast about your backstory,
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but I'd like to know a little bit about where you came from, a little bit of your backstory
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and some of the odds that you're overcoming and moving towards and living a better life.
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Well, I was born and raised back east in Washington, D.C.
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My parents split up kind of in the early teenage years and wandered around for quite a while
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trying to figure out who the hell I was, what I wanted to do with my life.
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And still, you know, 20 years later, I'm still probably asking a lot of the same questions.
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But, you know, I face a lot of the same challenges that most everybody else faces.
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I mean, some of the stuff that I'm polarized with right now and really fascinated on the
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conversation of is just kind of the society in general, like what a man is supposed to
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be, what a woman is supposed to be, how we're supposed to interact, and really the deterioration
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I mean, what chivalry really is, what manhood really is.
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And it's something, it's a conversation that I have very frequently, very regularly with,
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you know, my core group of friends and social media and things along those lines.
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But, you know, I think it's a conversation that needs to be had by everybody, you know,
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If we're talking about creating change, that's where it starts.
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What do you think is maybe, is there an underlying tone or something that's wrong with society
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that's causing some of these problems where men are losing their way?
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You know, I don't know, this is interesting because I'm going to meet with one of my mentors
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And we've talked about this, like, with America, like what's wrong with America?
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I mean, the question really is, is anything wrong with America?
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I mean, it's kind of the idea of education and going backwards.
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So knowing that you can't extract traits and extract things from your consciousness, from
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your mind, from your soul, the question is, what are you adding to it?
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And I think that's what the quote-unquote deterioration is, if you will.
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What's quote-unquote wrong is that we're just feeding ourselves full of shit, full of what
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we think is supposed to be, what we picture, what Hollywood, what movies, what newspapers,
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Is, you know, it's not like because you were raised in a single-parent household that you
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have a disadvantage or because you were born in a ghetto, you've got a disadvantage.
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It's the fact that, you know, you're told as a young African-American kid nowadays that,
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And, you know, your parents were split up and you've never really got the opportunity
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So what's quote-unquote wrong, I don't really know that anything's wrong.
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I think the fact is that we're just sharing and telling the wrong stories.
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Do you think, I read one of your posts on Facebook about Bruce Jenner, whatever his name
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is now, and you said, you know, the real winner in this story is the media.
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So do you think that part of the reason that we're filling our mind with garbage is because
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how accessible media is and information is more so than it was 10, 20, or 40 years ago?
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And the reason I say that is simply because I have political aspirations and I want to get
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And I look at it and I've told, you know, my friends, I've told my colleagues this, that
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the person who can capture the eyeballs of the individual holding a smartphone will win.
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Will win in business, will win in life, will win in anything.
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Because really, you know, we're an extremely impressionable society.
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I mean, we're literally, it's like, if you're a Bible-believing man or a Bible-reading man,
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you talk about the scriptures being tossed to and fro with every wind of doctrine.
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I mean, whatever the new fad is, whatever, you know, this guy's wearing or this guy's
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saying or this or that or the other is what we become and what we do.
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And I think it's because we don't have any authenticity or genuineness in ourselves.
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And what I mean by that is when you say the word meditation, people kind of laugh and it's
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And it's meditation is literally like you connecting with you.
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It has nothing to do with God or deity or mountains or flowers or hippies or pot or whatever
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It's like you finding out and diving into your soul, into your consciousness.
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I mean, you know, I've got this iMac in front of me and this MacBook Pro next to me
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and all of this technology, but like the single greatest processors, the single greatest
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computers, the single greatest storage clouds, if you will, of information are inside of
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And so I think what's wrong is like we're just feeding our kids full of dumb shit.
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You know, this is what it's supposed to plop them down in front of a TV.
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We just give them things to keep them busy and occupied without giving them opportunity
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to explore and to be able to dive into who they are and what they really, really want.
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And, you know, it's taken me 30, 36 years now to figure this thing out, to realize that
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like everything's right in front of me, like everything is right in front of me.
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That's God, like it's creation and everything is right here.
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But the media would have me believe that I need to be talking about a guy who wants to
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Just like let your neighbor do whatever the hell they want.
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So that's kind of my thought process with all of this is like the impressionable nature
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If you can continue to push out the negativity that the media wants you to believe and wants
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you to see, that's the way that your direction is going to go.
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But when you can control your mind, I mean, this little device in our pocket that we walk
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around and get literally all of our information from, all of our connectivity to our families,
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all of our news, all of our information, if you start channeling different shit through
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that thing in your hand, it's going to start to move your mind.
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It's going to start to educate you and fill your brain with positivity, with growth, with
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reality versus whatever CNN or Fox or ABC or NBC wants you to believe that day.
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Like you said, you've got your cell phone, you're driving to work, you've got whatever
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it is, you've always got access to the garbage that's being filled in your mind.
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And how do you find it for yourself that you've been able to tune a lot of that stuff out and
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just focus on what's important for you and your family?
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I mean, when I got divorced, I went through a really nasty divorce.
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I was I left a twenty two million dollar a year business.
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I moved out of an eight thousand square foot house into a one bedroom condo.
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I mean, I got really, really, really mad and I spent a year and a half kind of in the
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wilderness is what I like to call it, trying to figure out who I was, what I was, what
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I wanted, what did I believe, you know, all of these different things.
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And I got to the point where, I mean, you talk about what Einstein said, the definition
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of insanity is it's banging your head against the wall over and over and over again, trying
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And, you know, men in particular nowadays, like, you know, I'm in my mid thirties and
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there's this whole group of guys in their mid thirties that kind of have arrived, if
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What the American dream is, we have the house, we have the somewhat decent job, we get laid
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kind of every now and again and this and that and the other and we kind of wake up one day
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Is this like, I mean, what else is there, you know?
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And I just got to the point where I just, I got tired of banging my head against the
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And truthfully, the thing that changed my life is I hired a mentor.
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I mean, I was self-made multimillionaire by 26 years old.
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And so it was kind of like, what the hell are you going to teach me, sport?
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Like, I've been through everything, you know what I mean?
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Who out there has done what I've done or been where I've been?
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And about two and a half years ago, I hired a mentor.
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I finally decided, like, the path that I was on and what I was continuing to do wasn't working.
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And I read the books, Tony Robbins, blah, blah, blah, Jump for Jesus.
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And we go to Barnes & Noble, there's a thousand books on how to be better and all these tapes and
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But, again, we're consuming all of the negativity, not changing our brains, not changing our patterns,
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And, you know, I got with this mentor and I hired him and he helped me just change patterns
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And since then, I'm just like insanely of this insatious appetite for deeper and deeper
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and more and more and deeper levels of conversation, deeper levels of consciousness.
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And it becomes addictive, man, just wanting to be able to be more and to do more.
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And that's pretty interesting you talk about that.
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A couple of weeks ago, we had a guy, Jeff Woods, talk about, he came on the podcast and
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we talked a lot about finding the right mentors in your life.
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How did you find the mentor that you're working with now?
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He went through a really, really, really hard time in his marriage.
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Never ended up getting divorced, but he just spoke to me.
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I mean, this is part of it going back to the earlier question about like society.
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It's like we're just, you get sad when somebody dies or this or that, or I had a shitty day.
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And so I'm going to explode on my kids and I mean, you're really not in tune with who
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you are, but you see these videos on YouTube that get you emotional.
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You hear a talk by someone or you see something and just have that feeling like, holy shit.
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Like I want, I want to know what that guy knows.
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I want to feel what that guy feels like what he said just spoke to me.
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I mean, if I felt it inside, I didn't know that he could help me.
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I paid him more than what most people pay for their car.
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And this was the very first mentor that I hired, but I knew that I didn't want what
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And so it was kind of like, if this is something different than what I've got, that's what I
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And, and ultimately it was almost six months of talking to this guy and, and I just felt
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I'm like, shit, like I want to feel something different.
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I, and, and once I committed to that and once I dove in and started seeing things differently
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and looking at things differently, I think one of the greatest books, I mean, not to
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go off on the self-help topic, but Steve Covey wrote Seven Habits of Highly Effective
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And, and right in the beginning of that book is the picture that the paradigm picture
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where he holds it up in front of a class and half the class sees the old lady and the other
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half of the class sees the young, beautiful woman.
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And I think to me, that's what, what every situation in life is.
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You look at a death and someone sees negativity, bad, this, that, and the other, and another person
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sees new life and new opportunity and a new horizon.
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And, and, and that's what mentoring is, is, is someone looking at a picture and helping
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Um, but that's how I chose, man, as I just, my brain was screaming at me, like, this is
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And, and I didn't know what he could do for me.
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I didn't know how he was going to do it, but I just knew that something was telling me
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like, this is, this is the guy, this is who I have to work with.
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The cool thing about that story and what you're doing is, you know, you talk about self-help
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and we talked a little bit about even we hit record on this podcast.
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Um, there's a lot of self-help, there's a lot of coaching, there's a lot of that stuff.
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But at the end of the day, it's up to a man to take action, right?
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To, to finally move on a, on a thought or a choice that he has in his head and to take
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I mean, you have to, man, no one's going to make you do it.
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And I think for the guys listening to this right now, they know exactly what I'm talking
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I mean, life just becomes like freak, what, what, what else is there?
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And you just realized that there's more and like, you know, in your brain, there's
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more, but it's kind of like, Oh, wait, this is going to be uncomfortable.
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You know, I'm going to have to like do some stuff that's going to make me like stretch
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a little bit and it might be a little painful or it might be this side or the other.
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If you want more, man, if you want to take it to the next level, that's what it takes.
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You want to make more money, have better sex, have better relationships, have deeper connection
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I mean, just break it down to the basics, like be able to manage your schedule better instead
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of being a slave to a job or a slave to someone else.
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I mean, that's what, that's what, uh, that's what we're talking about.
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Well, let's talk about fear though for a minute, because I think a lot of what's holding guys
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back is that they become fearful and afraid of, you know, if I, if I do what I know I need
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to do, because I think a lot of guys do know what they need to do.
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But if I do that step, if I take that next step, something scary is out there that I
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I mean, the example I use, for example, you talk about politics and I can tell just by
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our brief conversation that you're a polarizing dude, like people probably love you or they
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So how do you overcome what people are going to say or what people are going to think of you
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and move forward with something you want to do?
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So this, this was something huge for me because when I went through, I started a company in
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my early twenties, I started another company in my mid twenties and I grew it and was on
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the magazines, in the newspapers, you know, 30 under 30, won all the awards, had all the
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accolades, you know, young, successful entrepreneur.
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I had a bunch of cars, I had a boat, I had a couple of houses.
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I mean, everyone knew that I was this successful guy.
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And so here I was, you know, creeping up on 30 and end up going through whatever you want
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to call it, your midlife crisis, this, that or the other.
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I walk away from a business and, you know, I end up going through a nasty divorce, a nasty
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You know, my creditors accused me of being fraud and all this other shit.
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And so it was this massive swing in the pendulum from kind of the poster child to this guy
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And, um, and it took me almost literally almost two years of, I wasn't on Facebook.
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I mean, the only thing you saw me posting on Facebook was like negative shit about my
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Um, it was all negative, all negative, all negative.
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And, and one of the very first things that my, my mentor had me do was he had me write
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And it was like, it literally took me like two months, bro.
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It took me two months to even get around to do this because I, I, I was so filled with
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freaking anger and frustration and rage and the victim mentality of like all of this
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And so, you know, I, I ended up getting around to that, but like what I realized through that
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experience and, and, and subsequently since that period of time, like you say, I mean,
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And so at the end of the day, like if you think about the critics, if you think about
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like Teddy Roosevelt's quote about the man being in the ring and, and the guy who's
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got his face, who's like bloody and beat to a pulp.
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And, and that's the guy who's been in the fight.
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Those are the guys who you want to be surrounded by.
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Those are the guys that know what it's like to go down that path.
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And so I realized that I could get hit by a bus tomorrow, man.
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And my biggest fear, my biggest fear is that I die with a brain full of ideas and a heart
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full of passion and my biggest fear is that I'm laying on my deathbed.
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I mean, chances are I'm going to die like in a car doing 200 miles an hour or some crazy
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But I mean, my biggest fear is that I'm going to be on my deathbed and the almighty is going
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to be telling me, bro, I gave you all of this stuff.
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I gave you all of these things to do and to say and to, and to live and to, and to share
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And you squandered it because you're worried about what your neighbor thought, well, bro,
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your neighbor's just as fucked up, if not more than you are.
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And when I realized that, when my paradigm shifted, I realized the guys that talk the
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most trash about me, the guys who say the most, the guys who, who, who, who rag on,
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you know, where I'm going in the journey that I'm on are the guys that need it the most.
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Those are the guys that want to mock you, that want to, you know, say, ah, well, look
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at him, he's just trying to be like, blah, blah, blah, blah, whatever, whatever.
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And so, you know, for everybody listening, for everybody that's going through that quote
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unquote fear thing, I mean, what do you really have to be afraid of?
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I mean, what do you really have to be afraid of?
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And saying what you want to say, it's, it's like, it's black or it's white, you either
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I mean, the woman who helped like millions and millions of people, they criticize her
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about money and, and they talk about like anybody is going to carry that criticism.
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But the reality is I know that I'm doing right.
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And I know that I'm doing the right thing because one, I feel it and I know it.
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And because truthfully, the, the more criticism I get, the more I know I'm on the right path.
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Even when I started this podcast, I've got a little bit of flack.
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Um, probably not to the extent that you're, you're talking about just yet, but, uh, yeah,
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people's just say some crazy stuff and I'm just thinking, you know, at least I'm out here
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doing it, putting myself out there and some things I get wrong and some things I get right,
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but at least action is, you know, and I'm moving forward and I'm, and I'm chasing something
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Because at the end of the day, I'm, you're not living anybody else's life.
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I don't know if you believe in God or not, but I mean, I believe the almighty put me into
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this frigging onto this planet at this period of time to do a certain work and a certain
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And what that work and that thing is, is what burns inside of me.
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And if you don't like it, I mean, too fucking bad.
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I'm not here to like, you know, but I'm not here to freaking rub everybody's balls either
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Like, this is who I am, what I believe, where I stand.
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And that's kind of how I feel and what I believe.
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And, you know, I think that's, I think we need more of that, man.
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I mean, I know that we need more of that because there's so many people that are asleep.
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I mean, there's so many people that are asleep, just like, again, like just kind of going
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through the motions and just having life happen to them versus creating the life that they
00:22:07.160
My thought has always been that if I have an idea pop into my head, like I tend to be
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one of those guys who's like a ready, fire, aim kind of guy.
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But I get an idea in my head and I almost consider it or think that it's insulting to our
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creator if I don't take action on that idea, because that's the reason it was put into
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Well, no, I was going to ask, what are some of the other reasons outside of fear?
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Or do you think it's only fear why men don't take action on some of the ideas or thoughts
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I mean, fear, the acronym that people have said it, it stands for false evidence appearing
00:22:46.360
But I think truthfully, you know, if you think about the most profound experiences of your
00:22:54.140
life, I mean, this is for every person listening, every guy, every girl on this planet, if you
00:22:59.300
think about the most profound experiences of your life, I mean, besides having a child
00:23:04.200
or watching a child come into the world, which for me was like insane, most of the really,
00:23:08.920
really, really powerful experiences that we have, most of the life-changing experiences
00:23:16.380
They come in the darkest times when we're struggling the most, when we're just, when we
00:23:26.120
And people just shy away and they kind of compartmentalize and just put this box in the
00:23:30.800
back of their soul and their brain of, well, that's just where I'm going to put all the
00:23:34.800
scary shit and I'll just leave it all there forever.
00:23:37.220
But, you know, Debbie Ford, who wrote The Dark Side of the Light Chasers, which is one
00:23:41.260
of my favorite books, she talked about how when we're born, we're just these creatures
00:23:46.060
of creativity, where we're wandering through life, like touching everything and grabbing
00:23:50.320
everything and seeing everything and experiencing everything.
00:23:53.660
And like she compares it to being born in like a mansion of like hundreds and hundreds
00:24:03.540
Kids, sit down, quiet down, shut up, don't talk, don't yell, don't go crazy.
00:24:08.000
And so we start shutting off all of these doors of expansion, of creativity, of excitement,
00:24:14.720
And here we are today living in a one bedroom condo versus a massive multiple room mansion.
00:24:20.980
And I feel like that's part of why guys get scared is they realize like, well, if I open
00:24:27.880
I mean, what if I actually had a real conversation with my wife about like what I really want
00:24:32.240
in sex or like what I really think about or what I really, you know, fantasize about?
00:24:39.020
I had a conversation yesterday with a buddy of mine who's been married for almost 15 years.
00:24:46.080
And I said, bro, when's the last time you came home in the middle of the day and just
00:24:49.440
like threw your wife down on the couch and just absolutely ravaged her?
00:24:53.600
And it was almost, and it sounds funny because people listening to this right now kind of
00:24:56.900
get that, oh my gosh, did he just say that ravaged one?
00:25:00.500
When you were first married, that's the shit you did.
00:25:02.900
You like, you wanted this woman and you wanted to explore and be with her.
00:25:12.180
Because social programming would have you believe that the only time you can do this or that,
00:25:21.540
And instead of trying to like delete all these things, that's what I continue to tell
00:25:24.880
people is guys, just put new shit in your brain.
00:25:27.640
Like open up those doors that you had when you were a kid.
00:25:33.480
My kids keep telling me, I've got three kids and they say, well, dad, why?
00:25:42.040
And I, when my kids were really little, I used to get mad.
00:25:46.000
And now all of a sudden I'm 36 and I find myself asking the same thing.
00:25:55.940
I talk to philosophers and businessmen and why, why did you do this or why this or why
00:26:03.680
It's like, we can't ask why anymore because what?
00:26:09.780
Like how just going back to basic fundamentals is what expands our minds and our hearts and
00:26:14.660
our souls, but yet we're freaking terrified of it or we don't want to do it.
00:26:21.540
You know, it's funny because we, as we were having that conversation earlier and we got
00:26:24.740
interrupted, my son came in and I told you he had that robin egg.
00:26:27.460
It reminds me of that, you know, like a kid, he's wandering around our yard and he finds
00:26:32.280
It's not like he hasn't seen an egg, but he's wondering, why is this here?
00:26:38.000
And then you think of like, oh, what if a grown man came and did that?
00:26:42.480
So that's cool that you say that's really interesting.
00:26:44.900
And it's just, the world is so freaking amazing, like life and depth and spirituality and ideas
00:26:51.580
and emotions and theological concepts just, they fascinate me.
00:26:57.580
But we just, all we talk about is, you know, the new car and what the Joneses are driving
00:27:01.880
and what I'm getting paid at work and the shitty day that I had and this and that and
00:27:06.020
And it's just like, holy shit, man, that stuff just got so old for me so fast.
00:27:11.040
You talked a little bit about the school system.
00:27:14.580
You brought it up a couple of times and I know your aspirations are in politics.
00:27:18.100
So let's talk about the school system and what you see as being the problem and then
00:27:22.260
maybe even some of the solutions to how we keep kids curious and keep them engaged in
00:27:28.320
Oh, dude, we're going to need like seven or eight hours to talk about this and you want
00:27:36.460
I've got severe ADHD, whatever the hell you want to call that.
00:27:46.120
Like we get, we get bored by shit that we don't want to do.
00:27:52.140
And so like sitting me down in front of a book and making me do math and figuring out
00:27:56.060
if the sun is this high and the tree is this tall, how far is the shadow?
00:28:01.220
I want to like go to science lab and blow shit up.
00:28:03.960
I want to know when these two chemicals mix, what does it do?
00:28:07.940
And I feel like we're literally all school is, is just a testing thing.
00:28:11.400
It's like how much dumber are our kids compared to China or how much,
00:28:16.120
you know, smarter are our kids compared to India or whatever.
00:28:18.620
I mean, if you stop and think about it, like my daughter goes out and spends hours out in
00:28:25.940
She knows more about that stuff and knows what they really are and looks that stuff up and
00:28:29.960
is genuinely interested in wanting to know these things.
00:28:36.080
And here we are like putting her in summer school because she's what inferior in one different
00:28:42.400
But yet fast forward 20 years and what do we expect people to do?
00:28:46.240
Go to college to become a specialist in something, right?
00:28:48.900
Become a, become a freaking lawyer or become a doctor or become an accountant or become a
00:28:59.340
Point number two, if you think about it from the actual school system itself, I mean, we
00:29:05.460
have these teachers that are paid shit who are worried about their homes and their
00:29:09.920
mortgages and their relationships and things and all this other stuff.
00:29:13.580
And these are the people that we're entrusting our children's education to.
00:29:19.380
We're entrusting our kids education to, you know, sister Sally, who's teaching, you know,
00:29:26.980
Meanwhile, she's not making enough money to pay her mortgage and she's getting foreclosed
00:29:35.700
And so we, we, you know, our, our education system, it's, it's completely go back to the
00:29:42.820
There's really nothing wrong with the world, but if you want to create the change, you can't
00:29:48.720
And at the end of the day, the children are the future.
00:29:52.360
You can sing it in a song, you can create a government program.
00:29:55.260
I don't give a damn how you want to say that, but at the end of the day, we need to
00:29:58.440
take our kids and allow them to mature and grow the way that they were built and programmed
00:30:08.260
And you get a hundred kids in a room, they're going to want to do 25 different things.
00:30:15.280
We get a hundred kids in a room and we're like, all of you need to do this right now
00:30:25.120
So my ex-wife and I have big problems with this because she's all about school and this
00:30:28.620
and that, and like last week, my kids have summer school because they said my son doesn't
00:30:33.440
read, quote unquote, to the level that they want him to read.
00:30:38.940
So I loaded up the dirt bikes and we went down to Moab for three days during the summer
00:30:42.940
And of course, you know, my ex is mad and this and that and the other, but we're reading
00:30:51.760
I feel like those are the two things that we need to focus on with our kids and with the education
00:30:56.700
system is helping the teachers really like creating a real education platform versus
00:31:02.720
this textbook bullshit text that, you know, tests that we give these kids.
00:31:10.360
We need to let them do what it is that they want to do and kind of guide them and steer
00:31:14.780
them, you know, into what it is that they want to do.
00:31:18.440
We're one of the only countries that doesn't do that.
00:31:20.760
And there's most countries around the world have specialty schools for kids.
00:31:31.360
These young kids who start showing signs of science or math or this or that or the other,
00:31:36.520
and they have special schools for these types of kids.
00:31:40.440
And so it's like they're almost helping them, encourage them to go after the things that
00:31:45.220
they're really excited about and passionate about.
00:31:46.880
In America, we just say, kids, shut the fuck up and sit down or else we're going to give
00:31:50.500
you, you know, Adderall or Ritalin to make you shut up.
00:31:54.540
I've got like I interviewed my seven-year-old last week.
00:31:57.580
He wants to be a, he says he wants to be a cowboy animal doctor.
00:32:03.140
And yeah, so he sat down and he's done another podcast with me and he talked about that.
00:32:07.960
In fact, we're actually going to start a podcast for him called Vet Breck and he's
00:32:10.920
going to talk all about animals and learn about different things, but he's going to do
00:32:17.800
His son is big into dinosaurs and he takes, I mean, he, he, he started his own blog and
00:32:22.520
he's got his own website and this kid Bodie like reads about animals and dinosaurs and
00:32:28.240
And this kid's like seven years old or whatever.
00:32:34.900
They live on an RV and this kid's brighter than anything else out there.
00:32:43.260
Based off of our society, what normal should be is, oh, I can't believe, you know, you guys
00:32:47.460
travel around like a bunch of gypsies and whatever.
00:32:49.680
It's like, well, shit, this kid's smarter than your kid.
00:32:52.120
You just plop them in front of the Xbox and send them to a sister Sally school where she
00:32:57.300
And you wonder why your kid's not, you know, not succeeding or excelling, if you will.
00:33:04.180
Because, you know, you said you're in your mid thirties.
00:33:07.000
Both of us grew up in the school system and there's, you know, countless other men that
00:33:11.820
have grown up in the school system and somewhere along the way, we've got our creativity pulled
00:33:15.800
And so how do you, how do you then put that back into you?
00:33:18.260
How do you change your life around and say, hey, I don't want to be numb anymore.
00:33:20.920
I want to experience this life in a way that's fulfilling and gratifying for me individually.
00:33:32.520
Like when my son says, I want to go do this, we go do it.
00:33:35.260
Well, we don't have time or we don't have money or we don't have all the excuses and
00:33:41.540
As a man, like guys, like you want to make more money.
00:33:47.620
You want to figure out how to get ripped or get in shape or, or like actually get back
00:33:56.820
And if you don't know how to do it, hire someone who does stop being a cheap prick and actually
00:34:05.120
We, we, we, we, we send kids to college to learn random roundabout things.
00:34:10.620
We spend 50, 60, $70,000 to learn like 20 different subjects, but yet you want to figure
00:34:16.560
And you're not willing to go spend five or $10,000 to go to a week long course on entrepreneurialism
00:34:24.280
or whatever, whatever from fricking Warren Buffett.
00:34:27.640
There's a, there's totally something completely ass backwards in your brain.
00:34:33.540
And, and unfortunately men have been just become programmed.
00:34:46.400
Not your IRA, not the equity quote unquote in your house, not your Rolexes, nothing.
00:34:51.620
You are your single greatest asset, yet you invest the least amount of money into what?
00:34:59.560
How the hell do you expect to get like premium results, top level results?
00:35:04.400
I mean, Oprah Winfrey spends a million dollars a year on Tony Robbins.
00:35:09.360
Well, Sean, she's already got millions of dollars and this and that and the other.
00:35:17.620
She realizes she has to perform at a premium, an optimal level.
00:35:25.400
And so, you know, there's, there's two options.
00:35:27.260
One, if you've got the audacity and the balls to be able to go do it yourself, go do it.
00:35:31.720
And if you don't, spend the money and hire somebody who can help you because it will change your world.
00:35:38.680
What's our justification, would you say, in your experience for not investing in ourselves?
00:35:42.960
What are some of the things that we tell ourselves?
00:35:44.460
Oh, I mean, well, I don't have the money or we're saving for vacation or it's all bullshit, man.
00:35:49.860
I mean, it's all, look, if, if, when you get down to the simple nuts and bolts of it, you know, what's your relationship worth?
00:35:56.460
What is your, what's the, what's the financial dollar amount of your relationship with your wife?
00:36:06.860
What's the actual monetary dollar amount of your health?
00:36:11.620
If I told you that you could go from shitty, I want to get divorced, we don't have sex, we, we just don't communicate, we don't connect, whatever, whatever, to if you, if you knew that you actually wanted to go do that and you found a way and it cost you 20 or $30,000, what's the value of that?
00:36:30.380
And end up, I mean, what, I talk to this a lot about with guys, cause I do, you know, mentoring and coaching with, with guys on, you know, in divorce, pre-divorce guys who are kind of ready to throw in the towel and guys that are going through the divorce.
00:36:42.600
Guys don't realize, I mean, the average divorce cost in America is $51,000.
00:36:48.120
And so they come, I get guys who come to me, they're like, look, I'm burnt out of my marriage.
00:36:54.400
I want to make this thing work, but what do I do?
00:36:59.700
We're going to walk down this path and it's going to be X amount of dollars.
00:37:06.340
Then go ahead and get divorced and spend $50,000.
00:37:09.200
In addition, I mean, that's just the hard cost of divorce.
00:37:15.600
Because I can tell you from firsthand experience that I spent a year and a half in a one bedroom condo with my mind completely gone and it ruined my business.
00:37:25.420
It ruined my relationships with every single person that I had.
00:37:28.500
I went from 100 miles an hour to zero and I had to figure out how to rebuild that and get back to an optimal, if you will, playing just to be able to be in the game, let alone succeeding in the game.
00:37:43.660
They don't realize the cost of where they are right now, staying stuck in a shitty job, in a shitty relationship, not leveling themselves up.
00:37:53.480
They don't realize the cost that it's got on their kids and this and that and the other and the whole deal.
00:37:59.620
So when you think about the small investment into yourself, into your own well-being, into your own education, into your own knowledge, into your own learning, it's pennies compared to the opposite.
00:38:10.780
Is that just a matter of trying to figure out the true cost of inaction or just traveling the status quo?
00:38:19.160
Is that just a matter of like that meditation that you talk about, self-reflection?
00:38:23.360
How do you get focused on what's the cost of me not taking action versus the other way around?
00:38:34.140
I work with entrepreneurs who are struggling in marriage and kind of at that same spot I was here in their 30s going, all right, dude, what's next?
00:38:47.340
My kids don't even know who I am, yada, yada, yada.
00:38:50.140
And, you know, I just asked a simple question, like, what's it worth, man?
00:38:56.020
If you continue on this path doing what you're doing, you will end up divorced.
00:39:02.900
You'll end up literally like, you know, Chris Farley talks about in a van down by the river.
00:39:11.880
I mean, the statistics, the numbers, history, the reality doesn't lie.
00:39:16.560
You can only go so long at that plane, at that level before something breaks.
00:39:23.340
And I can tell you from firsthand experience that that's what happened to me.
00:39:29.800
And I spent a year trying to figure it out on my own.
00:39:35.480
And it's this person's fault or that person's fault.
00:39:39.300
And if he wouldn't have done this or she wouldn't have done that, and the cost to me was massive, massive.
00:39:45.420
I mean, not only emotional and psychological, but, like, my actual bank account went from fairly hefty to zero, you know?
00:39:53.060
And so I just – the real question you guys got to ask yourselves is, is that what you want?
00:40:00.300
Spend the money and spend the time on yourself now or spend tenfold later to maybe repair what's broken if it's even repairable.
00:40:11.340
So, Sean, a couple other questions as we wind down here.
00:40:14.160
The first question I have, and I try to ask everybody this question.
00:40:16.560
I'm really intrigued by the answers that I've received so far.
00:40:24.260
That's a really, really good question, actually.
00:40:28.660
It means to be present right now because I don't know what the experience is going to be five minutes from now.
00:40:35.020
But to be a man, I want to be alert and cognizant that there's a world around me and that there are things happening.
00:40:43.560
And I want to be, like, the superior version of myself so that when the Almighty talks to me, I have ears to listen.
00:40:50.880
When something presents itself to me, I have eyes to see.
00:40:54.320
So that's, to me, being a man is being fully, fully present right now.
00:40:59.200
The last couple of questions I have for you is, I know I follow you on Facebook, and it sounds like you've got some big things in the works.
00:41:05.560
I'd be really curious about what's next, what's going on with you, and how we can reach out and connect with you as well.
00:41:10.980
Yeah, I've got a, like we talked about before we got on here, I've got a TV show in the works that we're working on right now with the network.
00:41:21.520
And I've got kind of a whole new coaching and mentoring program that I'm going to be launching here within the next 60 days, specifically on this topic, specifically in this space of truly becoming men and owning who you are and becoming kings and princes that we should be.
00:41:41.940
And you guys can find me on my website, seanwayland.com.
00:41:49.880
Like I kind of went through a whole thing where I was like sick of my website.
00:41:53.020
I was like, take that shit down, put up a construction page, like, you know, coming soon kind of a thing.
00:41:58.520
And I had a really dope website and spent a lot of money on it.
00:42:00.780
And I was like, just woke up one morning and said, all right, I hate it now.
00:42:05.300
So you can find me on Facebook, facebook.com forward slash S Waylon, or you can find me on my website, seanwayland.com.
00:42:16.100
I've enjoyed following you and getting to know you a little bit better.
00:42:18.240
And then just to be able to talk with you and have your insights into taking action is what I walk away with is like be fearless, take action and go out and get what you want.
00:42:32.760
And again, one that no one seems to be having, at least not as real as we did on the show today.
00:42:37.260
Now, if you enjoyed this show as much as I did or gained any new insights in any of our episodes, I would ask you again a favor to head over to order of man.com slash iTunes and leave us your rating review.
00:42:49.520
Also, you can check out the show notes for this show at order of man.com slash zero one nine.
00:42:53.980
Now, be sure to tune in next week as I have a conversation with a man who is all about upping your home repair.
00:42:59.540
And if you've ever had to repair anything at home, you know how difficult and frustrating it can be.
00:43:03.860
But we talk about tools, fixing stuff, being more handy around the house and improving our overall manliness.
00:43:09.880
Guys, I look forward to talking with you next week.
00:43:11.720
But until then, take action and become the men you were meant to be.
00:43:14.880
Thank you for listening to the order of man podcast.
00:43:19.080
You're ready to take charge of your life and be more of the man you were meant to be.
00:43:23.100
We invite you to join the order at order of man.com.