Order of Man - OoM 019： Get Your Mind Right, Stay Curious, and Take Action with Sean Whalen

00:00:00.000 The problem is that we're filling our minds with trash.

00:00:01.920 Negative information that is destroying our chances of success is everywhere.

00:00:05.380 It's on our phone, TV, YouTube, Facebook, you name it.

00:00:08.840 My guest today, Sean Whalen, teaches us how to get our heads on straight,

00:00:12.060 fill our minds with the right information,

00:00:13.940 and take massive action towards the life that we want and deserve.

00:00:17.700 You're a man of action.

00:00:19.140 You live life to the fullest.

00:00:20.620 Embrace your fears and boldly chart your own path.

00:00:23.300 When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time, every time.

00:00:28.000 You are not easily deterred or defeated.

00:00:30.340 Rugged.

00:00:31.120 Resilient.

00:00:32.160 Strong.

00:00:33.060 This is your life.

00:00:34.200 This is who you are.

00:00:35.600 This is who you will become.

00:00:37.260 At the end of the day, and after all is said and done, you can call yourself a man.

00:00:43.560 Welcome back, men, to the Order of Man podcast.

00:00:45.560 As always, I am your host and the founder of Order of Man, Ryan Michler.

00:00:49.000 I have got such a great show lined up for you today.

00:00:51.120 A ton of valuable insights into how to succeed in life from a man that has gone through so much.

00:00:55.780 He's gone through a ton to get where he is today.

00:00:57.800 You're going to absolutely love this guy.

00:01:00.000 Or you're absolutely going to hate him.

00:01:01.700 But either way, I do encourage you to stick around all the way to the end because this

00:01:05.660 is such a good conversation.

00:01:07.580 And many of the things that we talk about, no one else is willing to say.

00:01:11.180 Now, I will warn you for a second that this podcast does have some language.

00:01:15.420 So if that offends you, you can tune out.

00:01:18.160 But again, this conversation is so, so valuable.

00:01:21.080 Three quick housekeeping items before we get started.

00:01:23.140 First, if you have found any value from this podcast so far, please, if you would, leave

00:01:26.840 us a rating review for the show.

00:01:28.480 This is how your buddies will find us.

00:01:30.440 And I'm willing to bet that if you're enjoying the podcast, your friends will too.

00:01:33.960 So next, I started a book club for listeners and readers of the podcast and blog.

00:01:37.960 I've got a lot of questions about what books I'm reading.

00:01:39.780 And I thought it would be valuable to have a discussion around some of those things.

00:01:43.720 So if you're interested in learning more about the book club, you can head over to

00:01:47.380 facebook.com slash order of man to get all the details on that and what book that we'll

00:01:53.000 be reading starting August 1st.

00:01:55.160 Now, the last thing is, as always, we've got the show notes up for this show.

00:01:59.160 Those can be found at order of man.com slash zero one nine.

00:02:02.920 Now, I'm excited today to be introducing you to our guest, Sean Whalen.

00:02:07.160 I've been a follower of Sean's work for some time now, and I had the chance to get him

00:02:11.220 on the show.

00:02:11.720 I jumped on it.

00:02:12.780 He's a real estate investor, a former pro MMA fighter, and he has got a passion for exploring

00:02:17.180 cultural mindsets, how we behave and how we can fix many of the world's biggest problems

00:02:21.720 by first fixing ourselves.

00:02:24.080 Sean Whalen is the type of man who, again, you will love him or you will hate him.

00:02:28.480 There is no middle ground with this guy, but his authentic approach to the power of our

00:02:32.460 minds, why we do the things that we do and what steps we need to take.

00:02:36.540 His approach is extremely, extremely refreshing.

00:02:40.160 He's got big political aspirations beginning in 2016, but until then, you can find him breathing

00:02:45.180 fire on his Facebook and YouTube videos where he faces head on all of our most difficult

00:02:49.720 conversations such as racism, homosexuality, and our broken school system.

00:02:55.380 Sean, thanks for joining us today.

00:02:56.460 I'm excited to have you on the show, man.

00:02:57.840 Hey, thanks.

00:02:58.480 I appreciate it.

00:02:59.540 So we talked a little bit about the moment I hit record on this podcast about your backstory,

00:03:04.640 but I'd like to know a little bit about where you came from, a little bit of your backstory

00:03:08.720 and some of the odds that you're overcoming and moving towards and living a better life.

00:03:13.400 Well, I was born and raised back east in Washington, D.C.

00:03:16.760 I live in Utah right now.

00:03:19.040 Born and raised in a single-parent home.

00:03:21.940 My parents split up kind of in the early teenage years and wandered around for quite a while

00:03:27.600 trying to figure out who the hell I was, what I wanted to do with my life.

00:03:30.320 And still, you know, 20 years later, I'm still probably asking a lot of the same questions.

00:03:35.700 But, you know, I face a lot of the same challenges that most everybody else faces.

00:03:41.120 I mean, some of the stuff that I'm polarized with right now and really fascinated on the

00:03:45.800 conversation of is just kind of the society in general, like what a man is supposed to

00:03:50.320 be, what a woman is supposed to be, how we're supposed to interact, and really the deterioration 0.85

00:03:55.480 of what it is to be a man.

00:03:58.380 I mean, what chivalry really is, what manhood really is.

00:04:01.560 And it's something, it's a conversation that I have very frequently, very regularly with,

00:04:06.780 you know, my core group of friends and social media and things along those lines.

00:04:10.900 But, you know, I think it's a conversation that needs to be had by everybody, you know,

00:04:16.720 24-7, really.

00:04:18.080 If we're talking about creating change, that's where it starts.

00:04:21.100 Yeah, I agree.

00:04:21.960 What do you think is maybe, is there an underlying tone or something that's wrong with society

00:04:26.860 that's causing some of these problems where men are losing their way? 1.00

00:04:29.980 You know, I don't know, this is interesting because I'm going to meet with one of my mentors

00:04:34.540 this weekend in Texas.

00:04:36.180 And we've talked about this, like, with America, like what's wrong with America?

00:04:41.080 I mean, the question really is, is anything wrong with America?

00:04:44.460 You know, what's really wrong?

00:04:46.560 What needs to change?

00:04:48.300 I mean, it's kind of the idea of education and going backwards.

00:04:51.780 You can't take something out of your brain.

00:04:53.940 So knowing that you can't extract traits and extract things from your consciousness, from

00:04:59.160 your mind, from your soul, the question is, what are you adding to it?

00:05:03.120 And I think that's what the quote-unquote deterioration is, if you will. 0.99

00:05:06.540 What's quote-unquote wrong is that we're just feeding ourselves full of shit, full of what 0.98

00:05:11.460 we think is supposed to be, what we picture, what Hollywood, what movies, what newspapers, 0.99

00:05:17.820 what media tell us should be. 0.98

00:05:20.720 And that's what's fucked up. 0.96

00:05:22.100 That's what's wrong. 0.99

00:05:23.100 Is, you know, it's not like because you were raised in a single-parent household that you

00:05:27.820 have a disadvantage or because you were born in a ghetto, you've got a disadvantage.

00:05:32.320 It's the fact that, you know, you're told as a young African-American kid nowadays that,

00:05:38.300 I mean, this is your lot.

00:05:39.400 That's it.

00:05:40.080 You know what I'm saying?

00:05:40.880 Like, deal with it. 1.00

00:05:41.540 Suck it up. 0.99

00:05:42.360 And, you know, your parents were split up and you've never really got the opportunity 1.00

00:05:46.740 that everybody else has. 1.00

00:05:47.560 And that's just, that's bullshit. 0.98

00:05:49.360 So what's quote-unquote wrong, I don't really know that anything's wrong. 0.99

00:05:54.260 I think the fact is that we're just sharing and telling the wrong stories.

00:05:59.260 Do you think, I read one of your posts on Facebook about Bruce Jenner, whatever his name

00:06:05.400 is now, and you said, you know, the real winner in this story is the media. 0.89

00:06:10.500 So do you think that part of the reason that we're filling our mind with garbage is because

00:06:14.380 how accessible media is and information is more so than it was 10, 20, or 40 years ago?

00:06:18.820 You know, it's a double-edged sword.

00:06:20.700 And the reason I say that is simply because I have political aspirations and I want to get

00:06:25.140 involved in politics in 2016.

00:06:26.780 And I look at it and I've told, you know, my friends, I've told my colleagues this, that

00:06:32.380 the person who can capture the eyeballs of the individual holding a smartphone will win.

00:06:39.900 Will win in business, will win in life, will win in anything.

00:06:42.160 Because really, you know, we're an extremely impressionable society.

00:06:47.540 I mean, we're literally, it's like, if you're a Bible-believing man or a Bible-reading man,

00:06:54.060 you talk about the scriptures being tossed to and fro with every wind of doctrine.

00:06:58.860 I mean, whatever the new fad is, whatever, you know, this guy's wearing or this guy's

00:07:02.760 saying or this or that or the other is what we become and what we do.

00:07:05.760 And I think it's because we don't have any authenticity or genuineness in ourselves.

00:07:11.680 And what I mean by that is when you say the word meditation, people kind of laugh and it's

00:07:15.760 like this hippie thing and it's this and that.

00:07:17.660 And it's meditation is literally like you connecting with you.

00:07:21.780 It has nothing to do with God or deity or mountains or flowers or hippies or pot or whatever

00:07:27.320 the hell you want to attribute it to. 1.00

00:07:28.840 It's fucking you connecting with you. 1.00

00:07:30.880 It's like you finding out and diving into your soul, into your consciousness. 1.00

00:07:35.600 I mean, you know, I've got this iMac in front of me and this MacBook Pro next to me

00:07:39.980 and all of this technology, but like the single greatest processors, the single greatest

00:07:45.280 computers, the single greatest storage clouds, if you will, of information are inside of

00:07:51.620 our fricking brains.

00:07:52.700 Yet we don't want to go there. 0.91

00:07:54.100 No one wants to go there. 1.00

00:07:55.380 And so I think what's wrong is like we're just feeding our kids full of dumb shit. 1.00

00:08:00.400 You know, this is what it's supposed to plop them down in front of a TV. 1.00

00:08:02.780 We just give them things to keep them busy and occupied without giving them opportunity

00:08:08.520 to explore and to be able to dive into who they are and what they really, really want.

00:08:13.280 And, you know, it's taken me 30, 36 years now to figure this thing out, to realize that

00:08:18.520 like everything's right in front of me, like everything is right in front of me.

00:08:22.200 I look out my window.

00:08:23.040 I see the mountains.

00:08:23.700 That's God, like it's creation and everything is right here.

00:08:27.480 But the media would have me believe that I need to be talking about a guy who wants to 1.00

00:08:32.620 cut his fricking dick off and become a woman. 1.00

00:08:34.360 I don't really care about that. 1.00

00:08:35.500 What does that have to do with me?

00:08:36.600 You know what I'm saying?

00:08:37.720 God bless the man.

00:08:38.560 Let him do whatever the hell he wants.

00:08:39.800 Just like let your neighbor do whatever the hell they want.

00:08:42.040 What are you doing right now?

00:08:43.640 So that's kind of my thought process with all of this is like the impressionable nature

00:08:49.280 of our society.

00:08:51.060 If you can continue to push out the negativity that the media wants you to believe and wants

00:08:58.520 you to see, that's the way that your direction is going to go.

00:09:01.300 But when you can control your mind, I mean, this little device in our pocket that we walk

00:09:05.260 around and get literally all of our information from, all of our connectivity to our families, 0.98

00:09:09.220 all of our news, all of our information, if you start channeling different shit through 0.97

00:09:14.080 that thing in your hand, it's going to start to move your mind. 0.98

00:09:18.780 It's going to start to educate you and fill your brain with positivity, with growth, with

00:09:23.500 reality versus whatever CNN or Fox or ABC or NBC wants you to believe that day.

00:09:29.780 So how do you do that?

00:09:30.680 How do you?

00:09:31.000 Because I mean, it's everywhere, right?

00:09:32.220 Like you said, you've got your cell phone, you're driving to work, you've got whatever

00:09:36.600 it is, you've always got access to the garbage that's being filled in your mind.

00:09:39.800 And how do you find it for yourself that you've been able to tune a lot of that stuff out and

00:09:43.680 just focus on what's important for you and your family?

00:09:46.120 For me, I wanted to, man.

00:09:47.480 I mean, when I got divorced, I went through a really nasty divorce.

00:09:51.140 I mean, I was angry, man.

00:09:52.360 I was I left a twenty two million dollar a year business.

00:09:56.900 I moved out of an eight thousand square foot house into a one bedroom condo.

00:10:01.420 I mean, I got really, really, really mad and I spent a year and a half kind of in the

00:10:05.880 wilderness is what I like to call it, trying to figure out who I was, what I was, what

00:10:11.600 I wanted, what did I believe, you know, all of these different things.

00:10:15.760 And I got to the point where, I mean, you talk about what Einstein said, the definition

00:10:19.200 of insanity is it's banging your head against the wall over and over and over again, trying

00:10:23.020 to get a different result.

00:10:23.960 And, you know, men in particular nowadays, like, you know, I'm in my mid thirties and

00:10:28.680 there's this whole group of guys in their mid thirties that kind of have arrived, if

00:10:32.840 you will.

00:10:33.260 What the American dream is, we have the house, we have the somewhat decent job, we get laid

00:10:38.340 kind of every now and again and this and that and the other and we kind of wake up one day 0.99

00:10:41.760 and we're like, fuck, is this it? 0.98

00:10:43.200 Like, yeah, really? 1.00

00:10:44.300 Like, is this what I busted my ass for? 0.99

00:10:46.640 Is this like, I mean, what else is there, you know? 0.98

00:10:49.260 And I just got to the point where I just, I got tired of banging my head against the

00:10:53.280 wall and I'm like, I want more.

00:10:55.120 Like, I know that there's more out there.

00:10:57.120 I know that there's something greater.

00:10:58.700 I know that there's something bigger.

00:10:59.960 And truthfully, the thing that changed my life is I hired a mentor.

00:11:04.900 I'd never paid anybody in my life.

00:11:07.240 I'd never had a coach.

00:11:08.060 I'd never had a mentor.

00:11:09.140 I mean, I was self-made multimillionaire by 26 years old.

00:11:13.020 And so it was kind of like, what the hell are you going to teach me, sport?

00:11:16.260 Like, I've been through everything, you know what I mean?

00:11:17.980 Who out there has done what I've done or been where I've been?

00:11:20.720 And about two and a half years ago, I hired a mentor.

00:11:23.660 I finally decided, like, the path that I was on and what I was continuing to do wasn't working.

00:11:30.280 And I read the books, Tony Robbins, blah, blah, blah, Jump for Jesus.

00:11:34.220 I mean, you hear all that stuff.

00:11:35.300 And we go to Barnes & Noble, there's a thousand books on how to be better and all these tapes and 0.97

00:11:41.280 all this other shit. 0.98

00:11:41.940 But, again, we're consuming all of the negativity, not changing our brains, not changing our patterns, 1.00

00:11:48.580 not changing what we do.

00:11:50.140 And, you know, I got with this mentor and I hired him and he helped me just change patterns

00:11:55.400 and see things differently.

00:11:57.240 And that completely rocked my world.

00:11:59.180 I mean, it completely changed my world.

00:12:01.260 And since then, I'm just like insanely of this insatious appetite for deeper and deeper

00:12:08.200 and more and more and deeper levels of conversation, deeper levels of consciousness.

00:12:12.920 And it becomes addictive, man, just wanting to be able to be more and to do more.

00:12:18.700 Yeah, I bet.

00:12:19.140 I could see how that would be.

00:12:20.080 And that's pretty interesting you talk about that.

00:12:21.660 A couple of weeks ago, we had a guy, Jeff Woods, talk about, he came on the podcast and

00:12:25.440 we talked a lot about finding the right mentors in your life.

00:12:27.560 How did you find the mentor that you're working with now?

00:12:29.700 He went through what I had gone through.

00:12:31.640 He went through a downturn in his business.

00:12:35.100 He went through a really, really, really hard time in his marriage.

00:12:38.760 Never ended up getting divorced, but he just spoke to me.

00:12:41.960 I mean, this is part of it going back to the earlier question about like society.

00:12:46.200 What's wrong is like we're numb, man.

00:12:47.780 We don't feel anything anymore. 0.62

00:12:49.180 It's like we're just, you get sad when somebody dies or this or that, or I had a shitty day.

00:12:53.920 And so I'm going to explode on my kids and I mean, you're really not in tune with who

00:12:59.500 you are, but you see these videos on YouTube that get you emotional. 0.99

00:13:04.280 You hear a talk by someone or you see something and just have that feeling like, holy shit. 0.95

00:13:10.400 Like I want, I want to know what that guy knows. 0.96

00:13:12.660 I want to feel what that guy feels like what he said just spoke to me.

00:13:15.820 I mean, if I felt it inside, I didn't know that he could help me.

00:13:19.540 I mean, it was expensive as hell.

00:13:20.840 I paid him more than what most people pay for their car.

00:13:23.220 And this was the very first mentor that I hired, but I knew that I didn't want what

00:13:27.700 I had anymore.

00:13:28.580 And I knew that where I was, wasn't working.

00:13:31.480 And so it was kind of like, if this is something different than what I've got, that's what I

00:13:37.220 want.

00:13:37.740 And, and ultimately it was almost six months of talking to this guy and, and I just felt

00:13:42.920 it every single time I talked to him. 0.98

00:13:44.340 I'm like, shit, like I want to feel something different. 0.97

00:13:47.700 I, and, and once I committed to that and once I dove in and started seeing things differently 0.92

00:13:53.360 and looking at things differently, I think one of the greatest books, I mean, not to

00:13:57.440 go off on the self-help topic, but Steve Covey wrote Seven Habits of Highly Effective

00:14:02.000 People.

00:14:02.340 And, and right in the beginning of that book is the picture that the paradigm picture

00:14:08.460 where he holds it up in front of a class and half the class sees the old lady and the other

00:14:12.660 half of the class sees the young, beautiful woman.

00:14:14.340 And I think to me, that's what, what every situation in life is.

00:14:17.980 You know what I mean?

00:14:18.760 You look at a death and someone sees negativity, bad, this, that, and the other, and another person

00:14:24.460 sees new life and new opportunity and a new horizon.

00:14:28.460 And, and, and that's what mentoring is, is, is someone looking at a picture and helping

00:14:33.060 you see things a little bit differently.

00:14:36.220 Um, but that's how I chose, man, as I just, my brain was screaming at me, like, this is

00:14:39.960 the right guy.

00:14:40.640 This is the guy you got to go with them.

00:14:42.100 And, and I didn't know what he could do for me.

00:14:43.860 I didn't know how he was going to do it, but I just knew that something was telling me

00:14:48.720 like, this is, this is the guy, this is who I have to work with.

00:14:52.020 The cool thing about that story and what you're doing is, you know, you talk about self-help

00:14:55.680 and we talked a little bit about even we hit record on this podcast.

00:14:58.460 Um, there's a lot of self-help, there's a lot of coaching, there's a lot of that stuff.

00:15:01.640 But at the end of the day, it's up to a man to take action, right?

00:15:04.420 To, to finally move on a, on a thought or a choice that he has in his head and to take

00:15:08.900 that first step.

00:15:09.620 So that's pretty cool.

00:15:10.260 You did that.

00:15:10.580 Yeah.

00:15:10.900 I mean, you have to, man, no one's going to make you do it.

00:15:13.100 And I think for the guys listening to this right now, they know exactly what I'm talking

00:15:17.180 about, what we're talking about. 0.99

00:15:18.420 I mean, they're bored as shit. 0.99

00:15:19.620 I mean, life just becomes like freak, what, what, what else is there? 1.00

00:15:24.000 What am I going to do?

00:15:24.800 And you just realized that there's more and like, you know, in your brain, there's

00:15:29.260 more, but it's kind of like, Oh, wait, this is going to be uncomfortable.

00:15:32.380 You know, I'm going to have to like do some stuff that's going to make me like stretch

00:15:35.780 a little bit and it might be a little painful or it might be this side or the other.

00:15:39.800 If you want more, man, if you want to take it to the next level, that's what it takes.

00:15:43.440 Plain and simple.

00:15:44.060 You want to make more money, have better sex, have better relationships, have deeper connection 1.00

00:15:47.960 with your kids, have that shit. 1.00

00:15:49.880 I mean, just break it down to the basics, like be able to manage your schedule better instead 1.00

00:15:53.800 of being a slave to a job or a slave to someone else.

00:15:56.800 I mean, just being able to have the basics.

00:15:59.200 I mean, that's what, that's what, uh, that's what we're talking about.

00:16:02.080 Yeah, definitely.

00:16:02.760 Well, let's talk about fear though for a minute, because I think a lot of what's holding guys

00:16:06.780 back is that they become fearful and afraid of, you know, if I, if I do what I know I need

00:16:11.500 to do, because I think a lot of guys do know what they need to do.

00:16:14.260 They just fail to take action on it.

00:16:16.080 But if I do that step, if I take that next step, something scary is out there that I

00:16:20.720 don't know what it is.

00:16:22.240 I mean, the example I use, for example, you talk about politics and I can tell just by

00:16:26.000 our brief conversation that you're a polarizing dude, like people probably love you or they

00:16:30.440 hate you.

00:16:31.520 And that's not like very common in politics.

00:16:34.740 So how do you overcome what people are going to say or what people are going to think of you

00:16:39.520 and move forward with something you want to do?

00:16:41.320 So this, this was something huge for me because when I went through, I started a company in

00:16:46.820 my early twenties, I started another company in my mid twenties and I grew it and was on

00:16:52.620 the magazines, in the newspapers, you know, 30 under 30, won all the awards, had all the

00:16:57.240 accolades, you know, young, successful entrepreneur.

00:17:00.340 I had a bunch of cars, I had a boat, I had a couple of houses.

00:17:02.880 I mean, everyone knew that I was this successful guy.

00:17:05.700 And so here I was, you know, creeping up on 30 and end up going through whatever you want

00:17:11.240 to call it, your midlife crisis, this, that or the other.

00:17:13.300 I walk away from a 10 year marriage.

00:17:14.900 I walk away from a business and, you know, I end up going through a nasty divorce, a nasty

00:17:20.200 bankruptcy. 0.97

00:17:21.760 You know, my creditors accused me of being fraud and all this other shit.

00:17:26.120 And so it was this massive swing in the pendulum from kind of the poster child to this guy 0.98

00:17:31.640 that just fucked everything up. 0.91

00:17:33.440 And, um, and it took me almost literally almost two years of, I wasn't on Facebook. 0.97

00:17:39.200 I mean, the only thing you saw me posting on Facebook was like negative shit about my 0.98

00:17:42.860 ex-wife. 0.99

00:17:43.900 Um, it was all negative, all negative, all negative.

00:17:45.920 And, and one of the very first things that my, my mentor had me do was he had me write

00:17:51.300 my ex-wife a letter of appreciation.

00:17:53.740 And it was like, it literally took me like two months, bro.

00:17:56.520 It took me two months to even get around to do this because I, I, I was so filled with

00:18:01.080 freaking anger and frustration and rage and the victim mentality of like all of this

00:18:05.600 had happened to me and all this other stuff.

00:18:07.460 And so, you know, I, I ended up getting around to that, but like what I realized through that

00:18:11.940 experience and, and, and subsequently since that period of time, like you say, I mean,

00:18:16.240 I don't hold back in anything that I say.

00:18:19.160 And here's why you're not paying my bills.

00:18:21.680 You're not putting food on my table.

00:18:23.680 I mean, you're not raising my kids.

00:18:25.380 And so at the end of the day, like if you think about the critics, if you think about

00:18:29.280 like Teddy Roosevelt's quote about the man being in the ring and, and the guy who's

00:18:34.200 got his face, who's like bloody and beat to a pulp.

00:18:37.020 And, and that's the guy who's been in the fight.

00:18:39.920 Those are the guys who you want to be surrounded by.

00:18:43.560 Those are the guys that know what it's like to go down that path.

00:18:46.800 And so I realized that I could get hit by a bus tomorrow, man.

00:18:50.720 And my biggest fear, my biggest fear is that I die with a brain full of ideas and a heart

00:18:57.880 full of passion and my biggest fear is that I'm laying on my deathbed.

00:19:02.460 I mean, chances are I'm going to die like in a car doing 200 miles an hour or some crazy 0.98

00:19:06.240 shit like that. 0.98

00:19:07.100 But I mean, my biggest fear is that I'm going to be on my deathbed and the almighty is going 1.00

00:19:10.840 to be telling me, bro, I gave you all of this stuff.

00:19:14.060 I gave you all of these ideas.

00:19:15.660 I gave you all of this passion.

00:19:16.940 I gave you all of these things to do and to say and to, and to live and to, and to share

00:19:22.980 with people.

00:19:23.580 And you squandered it because you're worried about what your neighbor thought, well, bro, 1.00

00:19:27.780 your neighbor's just as fucked up, if not more than you are. 1.00

00:19:30.340 Let's be, let's be real candid about it. 1.00

00:19:32.180 And when I realized that, when my paradigm shifted, I realized the guys that talk the

00:19:36.640 most trash about me, the guys who say the most, the guys who, who, who, who rag on,

00:19:41.800 you know, where I'm going in the journey that I'm on are the guys that need it the most. 0.97

00:19:46.320 Right.

00:19:46.700 Those are the guys that are the most scared.

00:19:48.180 Those are the guys that want to mock you, that want to, you know, say, ah, well, look

00:19:51.600 at him, he's just trying to be like, blah, blah, blah, blah, whatever, whatever.

00:19:54.500 Those are the people that are the most scared.

00:19:56.120 And so, you know, for everybody listening, for everybody that's going through that quote

00:20:00.080 unquote fear thing, I mean, what do you really have to be afraid of?

00:20:04.340 I mean, what do you really have to be afraid of?

00:20:06.140 And saying what you want to say, it's, it's like, it's black or it's white, you either

00:20:09.780 like it or you don't.

00:20:11.040 And it doesn't matter.

00:20:12.300 Like it doesn't matter what anybody else says.

00:20:14.860 There will always be criticism.

00:20:16.560 There will always be a critic.

00:20:17.940 There will always be no matter who you are.

00:20:20.300 I mean, people criticize Mother Teresa.

00:20:23.260 I mean, the woman who helped like millions and millions of people, they criticize her 0.98

00:20:26.900 about money and, and they talk about like anybody is going to carry that criticism.

00:20:32.480 But the reality is I know that I'm doing right.

00:20:35.160 And I know that I'm doing the right thing because one, I feel it and I know it.

00:20:39.080 And because truthfully, the, the more criticism I get, the more I know I'm on the right path.

00:20:44.780 Yeah.

00:20:44.880 That's what I noticed.

00:20:45.560 Even when I started this podcast, I've got a little bit of flack.

00:20:48.140 Um, probably not to the extent that you're, you're talking about just yet, but, uh, yeah,

00:20:52.900 people's just say some crazy stuff and I'm just thinking, you know, at least I'm out here

00:20:56.180 doing it, putting myself out there and some things I get wrong and some things I get right,

00:20:59.660 but at least action is, you know, and I'm moving forward and I'm, and I'm chasing something

00:21:03.080 that's important to me.

00:21:03.880 So that's pretty cool.

00:21:04.740 That's, that's the only thing to do, man.

00:21:06.200 Because at the end of the day, I'm, you're not living anybody else's life.

00:21:10.100 The almighty puts you here.

00:21:11.880 I don't care.

00:21:12.300 I don't know if you believe in God or not, but I mean, I believe the almighty put me into

00:21:15.900 this frigging onto this planet at this period of time to do a certain work and a certain

00:21:20.520 thing. 0.53

00:21:20.860 And what that work and that thing is, is what burns inside of me. 0.98

00:21:24.040 And if you don't like it, I mean, too fucking bad. 1.00

00:21:26.180 I'm not here to like be an ass. 0.99

00:21:27.880 I'm not here to like, you know, but I'm not here to freaking rub everybody's balls either 0.99

00:21:32.100 and make everybody feel warm and fuzzy. 0.95

00:21:33.580 I mean, that's just the way it is.

00:21:35.500 Like, this is who I am, what I believe, where I stand.

00:21:38.260 If you like it, awesome.

00:21:39.980 If you don't like it, awesome.

00:21:41.720 But guess what?

00:21:42.400 I'm just going to keep going.

00:21:44.040 And that's kind of how I feel and what I believe.

00:21:46.440 And, you know, I think that's, I think we need more of that, man.

00:21:49.180 I mean, I know that we need more of that because there's so many people that are asleep.

00:21:53.960 I mean, there's so many people that are asleep, just like, again, like just kind of going

00:21:58.540 through the motions and just having life happen to them versus creating the life that they

00:22:04.860 actually want.

00:22:06.180 Well, it's interesting you say that.

00:22:07.160 My thought has always been that if I have an idea pop into my head, like I tend to be

00:22:11.220 one of those guys who's like a ready, fire, aim kind of guy.

00:22:13.600 Yeah, totally.

00:22:14.300 And which is good and bad.

00:22:15.660 I mean, it's pros and cons.

00:22:16.520 But I get an idea in my head and I almost consider it or think that it's insulting to our

00:22:21.240 creator if I don't take action on that idea, because that's the reason it was put into

00:22:24.580 my head in the first place.

00:22:25.800 Yeah.

00:22:26.240 I mean, what are some of the...

00:22:27.380 Yeah, totally agree.

00:22:28.580 Totally agree.

00:22:29.020 I don't mean to cut you off.

00:22:29.740 Go ahead.

00:22:30.380 Well, no, I was going to ask, what are some of the other reasons outside of fear?

00:22:33.260 Or do you think it's only fear why men don't take action on some of the ideas or thoughts

00:22:37.960 that they have going around?

00:22:39.040 I think it's fear.

00:22:40.020 I mean, fear, the acronym that people have said it, it stands for false evidence appearing

00:22:45.200 real.

00:22:46.360 But I think truthfully, you know, if you think about the most profound experiences of your

00:22:54.140 life, I mean, this is for every person listening, every guy, every girl on this planet, if you

00:22:59.300 think about the most profound experiences of your life, I mean, besides having a child

00:23:04.200 or watching a child come into the world, which for me was like insane, most of the really,

00:23:08.920 really, really powerful experiences that we have, most of the life-changing experiences

00:23:13.820 that we have come in the darkest periods.

00:23:16.380 They come in the darkest times when we're struggling the most, when we're just, when we

00:23:21.040 can't see any light.

00:23:23.460 And I feel like we'll run from that.

00:23:26.120 And people just shy away and they kind of compartmentalize and just put this box in the

00:23:30.800 back of their soul and their brain of, well, that's just where I'm going to put all the 0.98

00:23:34.800 scary shit and I'll just leave it all there forever. 0.99

00:23:37.220 But, you know, Debbie Ford, who wrote The Dark Side of the Light Chasers, which is one 1.00

00:23:41.260 of my favorite books, she talked about how when we're born, we're just these creatures

00:23:46.060 of creativity, where we're wandering through life, like touching everything and grabbing

00:23:50.320 everything and seeing everything and experiencing everything.

00:23:53.660 And like she compares it to being born in like a mansion of like hundreds and hundreds

00:23:58.840 and hundreds of rooms.

00:24:00.480 And as we get older, we get programmed.

00:24:02.220 I mean, we get into elementary school. 0.97

00:24:03.540 Kids, sit down, quiet down, shut up, don't talk, don't yell, don't go crazy.

00:24:08.000 And so we start shutting off all of these doors of expansion, of creativity, of excitement,

00:24:13.300 of learning.

00:24:14.720 And here we are today living in a one bedroom condo versus a massive multiple room mansion.

00:24:20.980 And I feel like that's part of why guys get scared is they realize like, well, if I open

00:24:26.360 up that door, what would it mean?

00:24:27.880 I mean, what if I actually had a real conversation with my wife about like what I really want

00:24:32.240 in sex or like what I really think about or what I really, you know, fantasize about?

00:24:37.220 We're like married.

00:24:39.020 I had a conversation yesterday with a buddy of mine who's been married for almost 15 years. 0.99

00:24:43.600 And he's like, dude, our sex life sucks. 0.83

00:24:46.080 And I said, bro, when's the last time you came home in the middle of the day and just 1.00

00:24:49.440 like threw your wife down on the couch and just absolutely ravaged her?

00:24:53.600 And it was almost, and it sounds funny because people listening to this right now kind of

00:24:56.900 get that, oh my gosh, did he just say that ravaged one?

00:24:59.480 Think about that, man. 1.00

00:25:00.500 When you were first married, that's the shit you did. 1.00

00:25:02.900 You like, you wanted this woman and you wanted to explore and be with her. 1.00

00:25:06.560 And yet here we are 15 years later.

00:25:08.460 And that's what?

00:25:09.400 That's weird.

00:25:09.960 That's awkward.

00:25:10.600 Why?

00:25:10.900 Right, right.

00:25:11.900 Why?

00:25:12.180 Because social programming would have you believe that the only time you can do this or that, 1.00

00:25:15.960 I mean, it's just all bullshit. 0.99

00:25:17.600 You see what I'm saying? 1.00

00:25:18.420 And so we're programmed so ass backwards.

00:25:21.540 And instead of trying to like delete all these things, that's what I continue to tell 1.00

00:25:24.880 people is guys, just put new shit in your brain. 0.99

00:25:27.640 Like open up those doors that you had when you were a kid. 1.00

00:25:30.740 You know what I mean?

00:25:31.380 Like I'm 36 years old.

00:25:33.480 My kids keep telling me, I've got three kids and they say, well, dad, why?

00:25:37.940 Why?

00:25:38.420 You know, why this or why that or why?

00:25:40.060 Same thing I said when I was a kid.

00:25:42.040 And I, when my kids were really little, I used to get mad.

00:25:44.480 I'd be like, well, because, because.

00:25:46.000 And now all of a sudden I'm 36 and I find myself asking the same thing.

00:25:49.320 Well, why?

00:25:50.620 I ask preachers and clergymen, why?

00:25:53.200 Like, tell me why?

00:25:54.320 Like, explain this to me.

00:25:55.460 You know what I mean?

00:25:55.940 I talk to philosophers and businessmen and why, why did you do this or why this or why

00:26:01.400 this avenue or whatever?

00:26:02.560 And you know what I'm saying?

00:26:03.680 It's like, we can't ask why anymore because what?

00:26:07.600 You know what I mean?

00:26:08.240 It's like, it's so crazy to me.

00:26:09.780 Like how just going back to basic fundamentals is what expands our minds and our hearts and

00:26:14.660 our souls, but yet we're freaking terrified of it or we don't want to do it.

00:26:18.100 Why?

00:26:18.180 Because it's not socially acceptable. 1.00

00:26:20.200 It's bullshit. 1.00

00:26:21.280 Yeah. 1.00

00:26:21.540 You know, it's funny because we, as we were having that conversation earlier and we got

00:26:24.740 interrupted, my son came in and I told you he had that robin egg.

00:26:27.320 Yeah.

00:26:27.460 It reminds me of that, you know, like a kid, he's wandering around our yard and he finds

00:26:30.800 this egg and he's so intrigued.

00:26:32.280 It's not like he hasn't seen an egg, but he's wondering, why is this here?

00:26:34.820 What is this doing?

00:26:35.600 What is this?

00:26:36.300 Yeah.

00:26:36.960 And yeah.

00:26:38.000 And then you think of like, oh, what if a grown man came and did that?

00:26:40.620 He'd get ridiculed or whatever else it may be.

00:26:42.480 So that's cool that you say that's really interesting.

00:26:44.300 I love it, man.

00:26:44.900 And it's just, the world is so freaking amazing, like life and depth and spirituality and ideas

00:26:51.580 and emotions and theological concepts just, they fascinate me.

00:26:57.580 But we just, all we talk about is, you know, the new car and what the Joneses are driving 0.99

00:27:01.880 and what I'm getting paid at work and the shitty day that I had and this and that and

00:27:05.660 the other. 0.99

00:27:06.020 And it's just like, holy shit, man, that stuff just got so old for me so fast. 0.98

00:27:11.040 You talked a little bit about the school system. 0.99

00:27:14.580 You brought it up a couple of times and I know your aspirations are in politics.

00:27:18.100 So let's talk about the school system and what you see as being the problem and then

00:27:22.260 maybe even some of the solutions to how we keep kids curious and keep them engaged in

00:27:27.400 learning.

00:27:28.320 Oh, dude, we're going to need like seven or eight hours to talk about this and you want

00:27:31.900 me to bang this out in like two minutes.

00:27:34.500 Here's my thought on that.

00:27:36.460 I've got severe ADHD, whatever the hell you want to call that.

00:27:39.880 Like what that means, who the freak knows?

00:27:41.960 I can't pay attention.

00:27:42.900 I'm all over the place.

00:27:43.680 Great.

00:27:43.960 It's ADHD.

00:27:44.780 Like that's what most people have. 0.99

00:27:46.120 Like we get, we get bored by shit that we don't want to do. 0.98

00:27:49.460 Let's be serious. 0.99

00:27:50.200 I hate math.

00:27:50.960 I don't want to do math.

00:27:52.140 And so like sitting me down in front of a book and making me do math and figuring out

00:27:56.060 if the sun is this high and the tree is this tall, how far is the shadow? 0.99

00:27:59.200 I don't give a shit how far the shadow goes. 0.99

00:28:01.220 I want to like go to science lab and blow shit up. 0.99

00:28:03.560 You know what I mean? 0.99

00:28:03.960 I want to know when these two chemicals mix, what does it do?

00:28:06.340 Like that's where I want to go.

00:28:07.940 And I feel like we're literally all school is, is just a testing thing. 0.97

00:28:11.400 It's like how much dumber are our kids compared to China or how much, 1.00

00:28:16.120 you know, smarter are our kids compared to India or whatever. 0.99

00:28:18.620 I mean, if you stop and think about it, like my daughter goes out and spends hours out in

00:28:23.500 our yard, finding bugs and things.

00:28:25.940 She knows more about that stuff and knows what they really are and looks that stuff up and

00:28:29.960 is genuinely interested in wanting to know these things.

00:28:33.000 But yet she gets bad grades on her math test.

00:28:36.080 And here we are like putting her in summer school because she's what inferior in one different

00:28:41.340 area of life.

00:28:42.400 But yet fast forward 20 years and what do we expect people to do?

00:28:46.240 Go to college to become a specialist in something, right?

00:28:48.900 Become a, become a freaking lawyer or become a doctor or become an accountant or become a 0.57

00:28:53.740 botanist or become a whatever, whatever. 0.99

00:28:55.740 It's totally, totally ass backwards. 0.94

00:28:58.260 You know, that's point number one.

00:28:59.340 Point number two, if you think about it from the actual school system itself, I mean, we 0.99

00:29:05.460 have these teachers that are paid shit who are worried about their homes and their 0.98

00:29:09.920 mortgages and their relationships and things and all this other stuff. 0.99

00:29:13.580 And these are the people that we're entrusting our children's education to.

00:29:19.380 We're entrusting our kids education to, you know, sister Sally, who's teaching, you know,

00:29:25.720 fifth grade or sixth grade.

00:29:26.980 Meanwhile, she's not making enough money to pay her mortgage and she's getting foreclosed

00:29:31.140 on someone.

00:29:31.620 She's coming to school every day. 0.90

00:29:32.840 Where's her brain? 1.00

00:29:34.260 Yeah, she's stressed out, of course.

00:29:35.700 And so we, we, you know, our, our education system, it's, it's completely go back to the

00:29:40.840 original question.

00:29:41.520 What's wrong with the world?

00:29:42.820 There's really nothing wrong with the world, but if you want to create the change, you can't

00:29:46.720 keep putting a bandaid on a gushing wound.

00:29:48.720 And at the end of the day, the children are the future.

00:29:52.080 Okay.

00:29:52.360 You can sing it in a song, you can create a government program.

00:29:55.260 I don't give a damn how you want to say that, but at the end of the day, we need to

00:29:58.440 take our kids and allow them to mature and grow the way that they were built and programmed

00:30:04.140 to, and that's naturally like kids.

00:30:06.160 What do you want to do today?

00:30:08.260 And you get a hundred kids in a room, they're going to want to do 25 different things.

00:30:12.940 And that's totally cool.

00:30:14.640 But what do we do?

00:30:15.280 We get a hundred kids in a room and we're like, all of you need to do this right now

00:30:18.800 or I'm sending you to the principal's office.

00:30:21.300 Right.

00:30:21.800 It's insane, man.

00:30:22.960 It's absolutely insane.

00:30:25.120 So my ex-wife and I have big problems with this because she's all about school and this 0.98

00:30:28.620 and that, and like last week, my kids have summer school because they said my son doesn't

00:30:33.440 read, quote unquote, to the level that they want him to read.

00:30:36.640 And I'm like, you know what? 1.00

00:30:37.400 Fuck this. 1.00

00:30:37.820 We're going to Moab. 1.00

00:30:38.940 So I loaded up the dirt bikes and we went down to Moab for three days during the summer

00:30:42.540 school.

00:30:42.940 And of course, you know, my ex is mad and this and that and the other, but we're reading

00:30:45.920 the whole way down.

00:30:46.640 I'm reading on the way back.

00:30:47.640 I'm reading in the tent with the kid.

00:30:49.020 And you know what I mean?

00:30:49.740 It's like, I don't know.

00:30:51.760 I feel like those are the two things that we need to focus on with our kids and with the education

00:30:56.700 system is helping the teachers really like creating a real education platform versus

00:31:02.720 this textbook bullshit text that, you know, tests that we give these kids.

00:31:07.680 And we need to be able to allow kids to grow. 0.97

00:31:10.360 We need to let them do what it is that they want to do and kind of guide them and steer

00:31:14.780 them, you know, into what it is that they want to do.

00:31:18.440 We're one of the only countries that doesn't do that.

00:31:20.760 And there's most countries around the world have specialty schools for kids.

00:31:24.600 I mean, from elementary school age.

00:31:27.040 Really?

00:31:27.520 Yeah.

00:31:27.820 I mean, all over the place.

00:31:28.760 In Europe, it's a huge thing.

00:31:30.000 In Asia, it's a huge thing.

00:31:31.360 These young kids who start showing signs of science or math or this or that or the other,

00:31:36.520 and they have special schools for these types of kids.

00:31:40.440 And so it's like they're almost helping them, encourage them to go after the things that

00:31:45.220 they're really excited about and passionate about. 1.00

00:31:46.880 In America, we just say, kids, shut the fuck up and sit down or else we're going to give 1.00

00:31:50.500 you, you know, Adderall or Ritalin to make you shut up. 1.00

00:31:53.320 No, I totally agree.

00:31:54.540 I've got like I interviewed my seven-year-old last week.

00:31:57.580 He wants to be a, he says he wants to be a cowboy animal doctor.

00:32:00.720 That's his ambition in life, which is awesome.

00:32:03.140 And yeah, so he sat down and he's done another podcast with me and he talked about that.

00:32:07.960 In fact, we're actually going to start a podcast for him called Vet Breck and he's

00:32:10.920 going to talk all about animals and learn about different things, but he's going to do

00:32:13.720 it in a way that's engaging for him.

00:32:15.480 Yeah.

00:32:16.320 I've got one of my good friends.

00:32:17.800 His son is big into dinosaurs and he takes, I mean, he, he, he started his own blog and

00:32:22.520 he's got his own website and this kid Bodie like reads about animals and dinosaurs and

00:32:27.360 teaches about it.

00:32:28.240 And this kid's like seven years old or whatever. 0.98

00:32:30.660 And he's a freaking genius. 0.99

00:32:32.100 He's a genius. 0.99

00:32:33.020 His parents homeschool him on an RV.

00:32:34.900 They live on an RV and this kid's brighter than anything else out there.

00:32:38.400 And the kid, he's brilliant.

00:32:40.260 And it's just like, that's weird though.

00:32:43.260 Based off of our society, what normal should be is, oh, I can't believe, you know, you guys

00:32:47.460 travel around like a bunch of gypsies and whatever. 1.00

00:32:49.680 It's like, well, shit, this kid's smarter than your kid. 1.00

00:32:51.680 You know what I mean? 1.00

00:32:52.120 You just plop them in front of the Xbox and send them to a sister Sally school where she 0.99

00:32:56.260 stressed about her mortgage.

00:32:57.300 And you wonder why your kid's not, you know, not succeeding or excelling, if you will.

00:33:02.320 How do you do that as a man?

00:33:04.180 Because, you know, you said you're in your mid thirties.

00:33:06.000 I'm in my mid thirties.

00:33:07.000 Both of us grew up in the school system and there's, you know, countless other men that

00:33:11.820 have grown up in the school system and somewhere along the way, we've got our creativity pulled

00:33:15.240 out of us.

00:33:15.800 And so how do you, how do you then put that back into you?

00:33:18.260 How do you change your life around and say, hey, I don't want to be numb anymore.

00:33:20.920 I want to experience this life in a way that's fulfilling and gratifying for me individually.

00:33:27.600 Go do something.

00:33:29.240 I mean, it's really simple.

00:33:30.500 Go do something.

00:33:31.860 Make a decision.

00:33:32.520 Like when my son says, I want to go do this, we go do it.

00:33:35.260 Well, we don't have time or we don't have money or we don't have all the excuses and

00:33:39.680 the reasons.

00:33:40.220 It's like, go do it.

00:33:41.540 As a man, like guys, like you want to make more money.

00:33:44.840 You want to become an entrepreneur.

00:33:46.200 You want to do this.

00:33:47.000 You want to do that.

00:33:47.620 You want to figure out how to get ripped or get in shape or, or like actually get back

00:33:51.940 to a, an insane connectivity with your wife. 1.00

00:33:54.820 I mean, go do that shit. 1.00

00:33:56.820 And if you don't know how to do it, hire someone who does stop being a cheap prick and actually 1.00

00:34:02.240 spend some money on yourself. 0.95

00:34:03.660 I mean, it's crazy to me.

00:34:05.120 We, we, we, we, we send kids to college to learn random roundabout things.

00:34:10.620 We spend 50, 60, $70,000 to learn like 20 different subjects, but yet you want to figure

00:34:15.640 out how to become an entrepreneur.

00:34:16.560 And you're not willing to go spend five or $10,000 to go to a week long course on entrepreneurialism

00:34:24.280 or whatever, whatever from fricking Warren Buffett.

00:34:26.660 You see what I'm saying? 0.99

00:34:27.640 There's a, there's totally something completely ass backwards in your brain. 0.96

00:34:30.980 If you don't see how that works.

00:34:33.540 And, and unfortunately men have been just become programmed.

00:34:36.400 Like we don't invest in ourselves.

00:34:38.800 We just don't invest in ourselves.

00:34:40.660 I mean, you are your single greatest asset.

00:34:43.580 You, not your bank account, not your 401k.

00:34:46.400 Not your IRA, not the equity quote unquote in your house, not your Rolexes, nothing.

00:34:51.620 You are your single greatest asset, yet you invest the least amount of money into what?

00:34:58.100 You.

00:34:58.940 Right.

00:34:59.560 How the hell do you expect to get like premium results, top level results?

00:35:04.400 I mean, Oprah Winfrey spends a million dollars a year on Tony Robbins.

00:35:09.360 Well, Sean, she's already got millions of dollars and this and that and the other.

00:35:12.020 Well, she's got all the money. 1.00

00:35:12.980 It's not the point.

00:35:14.160 She realizes she has to keep her game up.

00:35:17.620 She realizes she has to perform at a premium, an optimal level.

00:35:21.420 And so she pays a coach to help her do that. 1.00

00:35:25.400 And so, you know, there's, there's two options. 0.89

00:35:27.260 One, if you've got the audacity and the balls to be able to go do it yourself, go do it.

00:35:31.720 And if you don't, spend the money and hire somebody who can help you because it will change your world.

00:35:36.820 It will completely change your life.

00:35:38.680 What's our justification, would you say, in your experience for not investing in ourselves?

00:35:42.960 What are some of the things that we tell ourselves? 0.99

00:35:44.460 Oh, I mean, well, I don't have the money or we're saving for vacation or it's all bullshit, man.

00:35:49.860 I mean, it's all, look, if, if, when you get down to the simple nuts and bolts of it, you know, what's your relationship worth? 0.90

00:35:56.460 What is your, what's the, what's the financial dollar amount of your relationship with your wife?

00:36:04.320 What's, what's the financial dollar amount?

00:36:06.860 What's the actual monetary dollar amount of your health?

00:36:10.160 I mean, what is that?

00:36:11.500 Right.

00:36:11.620 If I told you that you could go from shitty, I want to get divorced, we don't have sex, we, we just don't communicate, we don't connect, whatever, whatever, to if you, if you knew that you actually wanted to go do that and you found a way and it cost you 20 or $30,000, what's the value of that?

00:36:29.920 You know what I mean?

00:36:30.380 And end up, I mean, what, I talk to this a lot about with guys, cause I do, you know, mentoring and coaching with, with guys on, you know, in divorce, pre-divorce guys who are kind of ready to throw in the towel and guys that are going through the divorce.

00:36:42.600 Guys don't realize, I mean, the average divorce cost in America is $51,000. 0.96

00:36:47.500 Is it really?

00:36:48.120 And so they come, I get guys who come to me, they're like, look, I'm burnt out of my marriage.

00:36:51.500 I hate my wife. 1.00

00:36:52.520 I want to make it work.

00:36:54.400 I want to make this thing work, but what do I do?

00:36:56.920 Where do I go?

00:36:57.660 You know?

00:36:57.940 And I'm like, okay, cool.

00:36:58.900 So here's what we're going to do.

00:36:59.700 We're going to walk down this path and it's going to be X amount of dollars. 0.99

00:37:02.620 Oh shit, that's expensive. 0.98

00:37:04.040 I can't, I don't want to do that and whatever. 1.00

00:37:05.760 Cool.

00:37:06.340 Then go ahead and get divorced and spend $50,000. 1.00

00:37:09.200 In addition, I mean, that's just the hard cost of divorce. 1.00

00:37:12.280 What does it cost you to lose your mind?

00:37:15.600 Because I can tell you from firsthand experience that I spent a year and a half in a one bedroom condo with my mind completely gone and it ruined my business.

00:37:24.340 It ruined my body.

00:37:25.420 It ruined my relationships with every single person that I had.

00:37:28.500 I went from 100 miles an hour to zero and I had to figure out how to rebuild that and get back to an optimal, if you will, playing just to be able to be in the game, let alone succeeding in the game.

00:37:41.600 And what guys don't see is that.

00:37:43.660 They don't realize the cost of where they are right now, staying stuck in a shitty job, in a shitty relationship, not leveling themselves up. 0.66

00:37:53.480 They don't realize the cost that it's got on their kids and this and that and the other and the whole deal. 0.92

00:37:58.080 It's massive, man.

00:37:59.620 So when you think about the small investment into yourself, into your own well-being, into your own education, into your own knowledge, into your own learning, it's pennies compared to the opposite.

00:38:10.780 Is that just a matter of trying to figure out the true cost of inaction or just traveling the status quo?

00:38:19.160 Is that just a matter of like that meditation that you talk about, self-reflection?

00:38:22.740 How do you do that?

00:38:23.360 How do you get focused on what's the cost of me not taking action versus the other way around?

00:38:28.740 Well, I mean, only you can decide that.

00:38:32.300 You know what I mean?

00:38:32.700 I mean, I talk to a lot of entrepreneurs.

00:38:34.140 I work with entrepreneurs who are struggling in marriage and kind of at that same spot I was here in their 30s going, all right, dude, what's next?

00:38:42.620 I'm burned out.

00:38:43.480 I'm working 80 hours a week.

00:38:45.660 My wife hates me. 0.99

00:38:46.640 I hate her. 0.98

00:38:47.340 My kids don't even know who I am, yada, yada, yada.

00:38:50.140 And, you know, I just asked a simple question, like, what's it worth, man?

00:38:54.440 Like, truly, what is it worth?

00:38:56.020 If you continue on this path doing what you're doing, you will end up divorced.

00:39:01.080 Your kids will end up hating you.

00:39:02.900 You'll end up literally like, you know, Chris Farley talks about in a van down by the river.

00:39:07.380 You know what I'm saying?

00:39:08.620 And it's true. 0.56

00:39:09.500 Like, if you look at it, it's true.

00:39:11.880 I mean, the statistics, the numbers, history, the reality doesn't lie.

00:39:16.560 You can only go so long at that plane, at that level before something breaks.

00:39:23.340 And I can tell you from firsthand experience that that's what happened to me.

00:39:26.360 I was 30 years old, and it broke.

00:39:29.800 And I spent a year trying to figure it out on my own.

00:39:33.540 And you know what?

00:39:34.480 I'm just going to be angry.

00:39:35.480 And it's this person's fault or that person's fault.

00:39:37.540 Or this is really why I'm at where I'm at.

00:39:39.300 And if he wouldn't have done this or she wouldn't have done that, and the cost to me was massive, massive.

00:39:45.420 I mean, not only emotional and psychological, but, like, my actual bank account went from fairly hefty to zero, you know?

00:39:53.060 And so I just – the real question you guys got to ask yourselves is, is that what you want?

00:39:58.680 Because you've got two options.

00:40:00.300 Spend the money and spend the time on yourself now or spend tenfold later to maybe repair what's broken if it's even repairable.

00:40:11.340 So, Sean, a couple other questions as we wind down here.

00:40:14.160 The first question I have, and I try to ask everybody this question.

00:40:16.560 I'm really intrigued by the answers that I've received so far.

00:40:19.060 And that is, what does it mean to be a man?

00:40:22.040 What does it mean to be a man?

00:40:22.900 That's a great question, man.

00:40:24.260 That's a really, really good question, actually.

00:40:26.460 To me, it means living right now.

00:40:28.660 It means to be present right now because I don't know what the experience is going to be five minutes from now.

00:40:35.020 But to be a man, I want to be alert and cognizant that there's a world around me and that there are things happening.

00:40:43.560 And I want to be, like, the superior version of myself so that when the Almighty talks to me, I have ears to listen.

00:40:50.880 When something presents itself to me, I have eyes to see.

00:40:54.320 So that's, to me, being a man is being fully, fully present right now.

00:40:58.260 Awesome.

00:40:59.200 The last couple of questions I have for you is, I know I follow you on Facebook, and it sounds like you've got some big things in the works.

00:41:05.560 I'd be really curious about what's next, what's going on with you, and how we can reach out and connect with you as well.

00:41:10.980 Yeah, I've got a, like we talked about before we got on here, I've got a TV show in the works that we're working on right now with the network.

00:41:21.520 And I've got kind of a whole new coaching and mentoring program that I'm going to be launching here within the next 60 days, specifically on this topic, specifically in this space of truly becoming men and owning who you are and becoming kings and princes that we should be.

00:41:41.940 And you guys can find me on my website, seanwayland.com.

00:41:46.580 We're actually redoing that right now.

00:41:48.060 So I'm redoing everything, man.

00:41:49.880 Like I kind of went through a whole thing where I was like sick of my website. 0.79

00:41:53.020 I was like, take that shit down, put up a construction page, like, you know, coming soon kind of a thing. 0.92

00:41:58.520 And I had a really dope website and spent a lot of money on it. 0.98

00:42:00.780 And I was like, just woke up one morning and said, all right, I hate it now.

00:42:04.520 Let's redo it.

00:42:05.300 So you can find me on Facebook, facebook.com forward slash S Waylon, or you can find me on my website, seanwayland.com.

00:42:13.960 Awesome.

00:42:14.500 Well, I've enjoyed the conversation.

00:42:16.100 I've enjoyed following you and getting to know you a little bit better.

00:42:18.240 And then just to be able to talk with you and have your insights into taking action is what I walk away with is like be fearless, take action and go out and get what you want.

00:42:27.500 So thanks for being on the show.

00:42:28.460 Thank you, Ryan.

00:42:28.960 Appreciate it, man.

00:42:29.540 Guys, what did I tell you?

00:42:31.740 Amazing conversation.

00:42:32.760 And again, one that no one seems to be having, at least not as real as we did on the show today.

00:42:37.260 Now, if you enjoyed this show as much as I did or gained any new insights in any of our episodes, I would ask you again a favor to head over to order of man.com slash iTunes and leave us your rating review.

00:42:47.220 I love to know what you think of the show.

00:42:49.520 Also, you can check out the show notes for this show at order of man.com slash zero one nine.

00:42:53.980 Now, be sure to tune in next week as I have a conversation with a man who is all about upping your home repair.

00:42:59.540 And if you've ever had to repair anything at home, you know how difficult and frustrating it can be.

00:43:03.860 But we talk about tools, fixing stuff, being more handy around the house and improving our overall manliness.

00:43:09.880 Guys, I look forward to talking with you next week.

00:43:11.720 But until then, take action and become the men you were meant to be.

00:43:14.880 Thank you for listening to the order of man podcast.

00:43:19.080 You're ready to take charge of your life and be more of the man you were meant to be.

00:43:23.100 We invite you to join the order at order of man.com.

00:43:26.220 On the right with man.com.

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Order of Man - July 28, 2015

OoM 019： Get Your Mind Right, Stay Curious, and Take Action with Sean Whalen

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