Order of Man - OoM 021： Masculinty in a Modern World with Ted Ryce

00:00:00.000 More and more we're hearing that there is an attack or an assault on masculinity.

00:00:03.360 While I don't believe that's necessarily true, my guest today Ted Rice shares with us why modern society is not the environment where a masculine male thrives.

00:00:11.120 We talk about what has changed in the world and in men and what we need to do as guys to balance between the natural and modern man.

00:00:18.440 You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest.

00:00:21.180 Embrace your fears and boldly chart your own path.

00:00:24.100 When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time, every time.

00:00:28.200 You are not easily deterred or defeated. Rugged. Resilient. Strong.

00:00:33.620 This is your life. This is who you are. This is who you will become.

00:00:37.800 At the end of the day, and after all is said and done, you can call yourself a man.

00:00:43.720 Welcome back to the Order of Man podcast, episode 21.

00:00:46.840 Now, I had a previous podcast, and if I remember correctly, I ended it on the 21st episode.

00:00:52.360 So now I'm tied with that one, but I have no plans for stopping what we're doing here at Order of Man anytime soon.

00:00:58.480 Now, you know the drill, a couple of housekeeping items before we get rolling today.

00:01:01.440 First, I mentioned last week that you can pick up the free resource and video by heading over to orderofman.com slash skills.

00:01:09.020 It's based on one of our most popular blog posts and YouTube videos, and it's called The 8 Skill Sets Every Man Must Master.

00:01:16.220 And again, if you go to orderofman.com slash skills, you can get access to that resource outlining the skills you need to develop as a man and exactly how to do it.

00:01:24.020 Next, we've had a couple of great reviews over the past week, so I really do appreciate that.

00:01:27.740 It's hard to get reviews when you do a podcast, so if you've taken the time to leave one for me, I appreciate you taking the time to do it.

00:01:33.340 If you haven't left a review yet, I ask, what are you waiting for?

00:01:36.600 Pause this episode, head over to orderofman.com slash iTunes and get after it.

00:01:41.360 Now, remember guys, if you're working out or in the car or on a run and you need to get some of the resources that we mentioned today in this episode,

00:01:47.400 the show notes can be found at orderofman.com slash 021.

00:01:53.020 Now, I've overwhelmed you with all that information.

00:01:55.100 Let me get to the guest, personal fitness trainer and fellow podcaster, Ted Rice.

00:01:59.460 He's worked with a ton of celebrities in his personal fitness training, including Ricky Martin, Robert Downey Jr., and Richard Branson, to name a few.

00:02:06.900 As with a lot of my guests and most successful men, he has overcome some huge adversities in his life to get to where he is as a trainer and also the host of Legendary Life Podcast.

00:02:16.500 He's been busy over the past 16 years.

00:02:18.760 He experiments with exercise, nutrition, supplementation, and also methods for what works and what doesn't.

00:02:24.000 But most importantly, and this is what we talk about today, he has a passion for helping men build muscle, lose fat, develop more confidence, and really just go after the life that they want.

00:02:33.040 So you'll hear that passion in the show today.

00:02:35.480 Ted, thanks for joining us.

00:02:36.700 I'm stoked to have you on the show today.

00:02:38.520 I'm stoked to be here, Ryan.

00:02:40.040 We're going to have a great conversation all about what it means to be a man.

00:02:43.460 And I know that I've listened to your podcast, which was something former before, and we'll talk a little bit about that.

00:02:49.260 But you've been a big help as I've launched this podcast in the brand order of man.

00:02:52.880 So I appreciate you and taking time to be on the show today.

00:02:55.700 Oh, thanks.

00:02:56.300 I really appreciate hearing that.

00:02:58.340 And I've been inspired by other people to start what I do.

00:03:01.540 So it's awesome to hear that I've passed that along.

00:03:04.940 You definitely have.

00:03:06.000 So why don't you tell me a little bit about, and the guys that are listening, a little bit about how you got into what you're doing now.

00:03:12.540 And maybe before I get into that, it was the Man Project podcast, but more recently, you're now doing Legendary Life.

00:03:19.820 Is that right?

00:03:20.360 I want to make sure I get that right.

00:03:21.400 Yeah, I switched the name.

00:03:22.460 And even before the Man Project, it was the Alpha Man Project.

00:03:25.600 And, you know, I kind of got away from that and found a name that something that I could grow into is a big reason and something that I connected to because the whole Alpha Man thing, I didn't.

00:03:41.800 I thought it was a cool name, and I'm terrible at coming up with names.

00:03:45.520 It's just something I don't feel I'm very good at.

00:03:47.860 And what I mean coming up with names, some people will hear that and be like, oh, Alpha Man Project.

00:03:52.180 What I mean is coming up with a name that I feel really connected to.

00:03:57.000 So it took me a while to come up with something.

00:03:59.340 Alpha Man Project, then we dropped the Alpha.

00:04:03.260 Now it's Legendary Life, and I really like it a lot.

00:04:07.360 And like I said, it's connected with what my message is.

00:04:10.700 I want people to live legendary lives.

00:04:13.480 I want people to win at life.

00:04:14.960 I want people to be successful in the way that they want to be successful in their life, and specifically men.

00:04:22.520 So the focus hasn't changed.

00:04:24.220 It's for men. 0.99

00:04:25.580 I feel like as men, we are a little bit behind what women are doing in this new space of modern life, of modern technologically oriented life.

00:04:40.540 Why do you think that is?

00:04:41.700 Is there some things culturally?

00:04:43.100 I mean, I have my own reasons, which is obviously why we are doing things that are very similar.

00:04:48.180 But why do you think men and women are on a different path or wavelength or trajectory, if you will?

00:04:54.620 Yeah, I think the environment today, and when I mean that, I'm talking about the U.S.

00:05:00.400 I'm talking about Western countries.

00:05:02.920 I think it's probably very different in other countries, but especially here in the U.S., I think the environment, the modern life here is set up for women to be more successful.

00:05:15.460 And let's even be more specific in that I think modern life really takes away from a man's power, and it does that in many ways.

00:05:25.980 Number one, we don't have to be physical, and we don't have to go out and hunt for our food.

00:05:33.760 We don't have to field dress the animal.

00:05:36.260 We don't have to gather our food.

00:05:38.340 We don't even have to really get into a fight anymore to protect our families or our communities or ourselves.

00:05:47.040 That's really frowned upon, and I'm not saying fighting is good per se, but it brings out a certain level of internal power and physical power, too, being physical in an aggressive way.

00:06:03.960 And we're in an environment where basically you wake up, you go brush your teeth and do your hair or do whatever you do. 0.96

00:06:12.700 You drive to work, and you sit on your butt at work, then you drive back home sitting on your butt, and come home, sit on your butt some more, eat dinner while watching TV. 0.99

00:06:25.720 You're basically sitting on your ass the entire time. 1.00

00:06:28.860 That does not do anything good for men. 0.99

00:06:33.580 It actually doesn't do anything good for women either, but to be more specific with men,

00:06:39.300 we need that physical challenge for not just for our psychological well-being, but also for our physiological well-being.

00:06:48.640 We're getting weaker, fatter.

00:06:51.300 Our hormones are getting messed up.

00:06:53.820 There's research suggesting that testosterone is on the decline generationally,

00:07:02.300 excuse me, and that means that a 60-year-old man today in 2015 has lower testosterone levels in general than the 60-year-old men of several decades ago.

00:07:16.400 Interesting.

00:07:16.940 And there's research showing that there is a decline of testosterone with age.

00:07:25.560 It's not necessarily because of the age.

00:07:29.680 It's because of abuse and neglect, and the abuse comes from drinking too much coffee, being too stressed at work,

00:07:39.300 working in jobs that aren't fulfilling our purpose and doing things we're not passionate about,

00:07:46.200 and also feeling like we're maybe stuck in a certain type of relationship,

00:07:53.740 maybe with a woman we don't want to be with, but we feel like we're obligated to be with because we're afraid of going out on our own,

00:08:00.520 or we're afraid of the unknown and being single again,

00:08:05.240 or we're just not doing the work to make that relationship that we are in awesome.

00:08:12.740 And, you know, lack of sleep and too much alcohol, trying to drown out the way we feel with alcohol,

00:08:22.120 with television, with Facebook, with pornography.

00:08:26.580 And then there's the physical part where, you know, the muscles are shrinking,

00:08:31.880 the amount of fat that you have on your body can actually turn your testosterone into estrogen.

00:08:40.360 There's something called aromatase, which is an enzyme in your fat cells.

00:08:45.920 And a lot of people think the more fat that you have, the more this aromatization,

00:08:52.600 which is the process of turning testosterone into estrogen,

00:08:56.480 they think that happens more often with people with more fat.

00:09:00.020 And it makes sense.

00:09:00.940 So there's all this stuff going on, and it's a result of the way modern life is set up.

00:09:08.800 Not modern life for everyone, but for a majority of the men.

00:09:13.700 Yeah, I mean, we talked a little bit just before we started recording that I just got back from a,

00:09:20.440 it was three days essentially of hiking, and we hiked 40 plus miles over that three days,

00:09:25.520 my wife and I and some friends.

00:09:27.240 And it was hard, man.

00:09:28.240 It was tough, especially the last 12 miles out of where we were.

00:09:30.920 It was really, really difficult.

00:09:33.220 But there's just something like really exciting and really liberating,

00:09:36.780 and just like this sense of accomplishment.

00:09:39.320 And you're right, we don't get that stuff anymore.

00:09:41.700 You know, I got it as a child.

00:09:43.240 I grew up in a scouting program, and I got to go out and fish and hunt and be around the guys.

00:09:48.620 And then all of a sudden, I was expected to sit behind this desk for hours, like you were saying.

00:09:52.120 So my question is, how does a man get back to his roots, in a sense,

00:09:58.500 even though modern society doesn't really facilitate getting back to your roots?

00:10:04.680 Yeah, that's a fantastic question.

00:10:06.880 And before I get into that, I do believe that I personally enjoy the way society is right now.

00:10:14.160 I enjoy, I found my way to do what I want to do.

00:10:20.220 And I don't feel oppressed in any way.

00:10:23.560 I don't feel like, you know, maybe some guy, I've seen guys say,

00:10:27.300 oh, there's war on men.

00:10:28.560 I personally do not feel that way.

00:10:30.800 I totally respect other people who feel like they're under siege,

00:10:34.380 or their masculinity is under siege.

00:10:36.460 I don't personally feel that way, though.

00:10:38.640 And why I'm saying that is there's a way to get that for yourself.

00:10:43.260 And I will say this also, I think there's two types of men out there in terms of culture, right?

00:10:52.300 And we have like what you just said, where you grew up scouting and you were in the woods,

00:10:59.140 doing the scout stuff, building fires, making bow and arrows.

00:11:03.320 Because I was not a scout.

00:11:04.880 That brings me to my next point is that there's these, so there's guys like you that grew up with all this survival training

00:11:14.780 and being one with nature.

00:11:16.600 Maybe they did hunting and they're missing the other parts where they're maybe not so good at style,

00:11:25.200 at going to a business meeting and pitching themselves to get hired or pitching a product if they want to sell something.

00:11:36.660 Then there's the guys who are like the city boys who are good at, you know, they have their grooming down,

00:11:42.220 they dress stylishly, maybe they're a little smoother in those types of situations in business.

00:11:48.980 And these are gross generalizations, but I think it's very helpful to think like this.

00:11:53.520 And they're missing like the more the connection with nature.

00:11:57.360 They're missing the connection with their masculine power.

00:12:00.920 They don't know how to make a fire.

00:12:02.540 They don't know how to field dress an animal. 0.75

00:12:04.860 They don't know how to shoot a gun.

00:12:06.380 They don't know how to do martial arts.

00:12:08.540 And I really think if you want to be successful in modern life, you really have to find that balance of both for yourself

00:12:16.740 or move to the woods and stay there, right?

00:12:21.640 Or stay in the city and in the most upscale part of town and hope you never get confronted with someone who wants to take your watch from you

00:12:31.520 or, you know, or, you know, let your woman run the show for you, right? 0.91

00:12:37.760 Because you're, you know, you haven't stepped into your masculine power, so you don't step up in that relationship.

00:12:44.580 So that's number one.

00:12:46.520 Figure out where you're lacking in your life or where you need to maybe develop some skills.

00:12:52.560 Is it on the side where you've been coddled physically and you need some intense physical experiences?

00:13:02.060 You know, doing martial arts is great.

00:13:04.040 Lifting weights is great.

00:13:06.000 You mentioned tactical shooting, something you were going to do with the retreat, which I think is awesome and which I've done as well.

00:13:14.660 It really puts you into a moment because you don't want to have an accident, right?

00:13:19.240 And there's a power with learning that skill and, you know, you got to figure out, is that what you need or do you need to work on your communication skills?

00:13:31.940 Do you need to work on your empathy?

00:13:34.660 Do you need to work on your compassion?

00:13:37.060 Because I believe what you need to do is figure out where you're lacking and then work on that area.

00:13:45.440 So how do you find that out?

00:13:47.340 Yeah.

00:13:47.540 How do you know what you're lacking?

00:13:49.240 Yeah, that comes with being self-aware, taking an honest look at your life.

00:13:55.060 And if you're a guy who loves to fish and hunt and watch sports or play sports, but you have problems, maybe you go to work and you feel like, oh, man, you know, I'm good at what I do, but I just don't get along with these kind of wussy other people.

00:14:13.940 And, you know, if you're not progressing in your career, if you don't have a good network, well, then maybe that's where you need to spend your energy.

00:14:23.500 Maybe you need to develop more of that side.

00:14:26.620 So it starts with taking a self-inventory and being self-aware.

00:14:31.460 That's where it would start.

00:14:32.540 And you've got to be honest about yourself.

00:14:34.300 And sometimes guys have trouble doing that.

00:14:38.560 You know, we don't want to.

00:14:39.260 Right.

00:14:39.500 I think our egos get in the way, right?

00:14:41.140 Oh, man, the fragile male ego.

00:14:43.940 You know, I love guys and I have some great male friends, but I don't have a lot of them.

00:14:49.820 And one of the issues is you've got to find guys who are cool, who are comfortable with themselves and self-aware.

00:15:00.220 Self-awareness is where that starts.

00:15:02.140 I know for me, one of the things that's been successful for me is to look at what other guys are doing where I feel like, hey, that guy's really got it together and start emulating what they're doing.

00:15:14.200 I mean, we're not looking at it from an envious standpoint or I wish I had what he had, but trying rather to figure out, OK, this guy's really proficient in business.

00:15:23.760 And that excites me or that's something I feel like I need to learn and start emulating what those people are doing.

00:15:28.620 That's part of the reason you and I connected is because we were connected from other people.

00:15:32.940 And I think we've got to at least I have respect for what you're doing and I want to emulate what you're doing.

00:15:38.000 And so we need to look around and see what role models in a way that we have around that we can we can use some of their their experiences and improve our lives as well.

00:15:47.300 Yeah, I love it. Modeling people who are successful in the area that you want to improve.

00:15:53.400 I love it, Ryan. That's a great one.

00:15:56.660 And you can even in a step beyond that would be to go and actually have a conversation with that guy without kissing his ass, without being envious, say, hey, man, I really respect the way you handle yourself with women in the bar or with business. 0.99

00:16:16.040 I saw you close that deal. Give an honest, sincere compliment. 0.99

00:16:21.220 One thing that I think guys have a hard time doing is admitting that there's men that are better than them in one area.

00:16:29.340 I used to be like that. And I'll tell you, I've evolved into a person who if I think someone's dressed sharp, I'll give them a compliment on it.

00:16:38.960 If I think someone's doing something awesome in any area, I go out of my way to make a compliment, give them a compliment, a sincere compliment that competitive that the competition that exists between men that that really shouldn't be there at times will will fade away.

00:16:58.140 And you'll be surprised at how you can make someone feel comfortable and then perhaps even start a friendship or a mentorship or them taking time out of their day to give you some information on the thing that you want to get better at.

00:17:15.440 I want to go back to you. You alluded to the fact that men maybe aren't as successful or on the same path as women.

00:17:24.580 Why do you see that as as being the problem or or why is that the problem?

00:17:29.520 Are there some reasons why men maybe aren't as successful as they used to be or motivated or ambitious even?

00:17:35.940 Yeah, it goes back to the thing we were just talking about. I believe that we're in a situation economically with with the way this with the way modern business is going where it's better to collaborate than to compete.

00:17:53.360 And obviously, there's always competition in that, you know, people are trying to do the same thing that you're doing here.

00:18:00.120 And a great example is us. Right. You and me, Ryan, I have a I have a show where I talk about very similar things that you talk about on your show.

00:18:12.040 So in a way, I should be like, man, let me see what Ryan's doing to make sure he's not doing as good of a job as me.

00:18:19.680 Man, I don't want no, I'm not going to recommend anybody for him to interview.

00:18:25.060 I'm not going to really talk to him too much. I'll say hi.

00:18:27.760 But he's my direct competition instead.

00:18:31.900 And this you can extrapolate this for anything that you may going through is, you know, speaking to the person listening, the man listening.

00:18:41.460 But instead, Ryan, what we did was, hey, man, I really like what you're doing and you like what I'm doing.

00:18:48.900 So what we're doing is we're collaborating.

00:18:51.580 That is a more successful even if even if we had our egos wrapped up in it.

00:18:57.880 Right. Which we don't.

00:18:59.460 It would still be a more successful way to conduct business than if we would never work together.

00:19:06.720 So I've introduced you to someone who I thought would be great for your show.

00:19:10.380 You've had me on your show.

00:19:12.220 I'll have I'll get you on my show.

00:19:13.720 We're collaborating, right?

00:19:15.880 We're forming our our little posse, our little gang of men who are our tribe.

00:19:23.020 Yeah, that's a better word than the other ones.

00:19:27.000 Yeah, we've got our gang set up.

00:19:29.060 So. So, yeah, we're setting up our tribe.

00:19:32.960 We're setting up a group of people who are cool, who are all working towards empowering other men to do their own thing.

00:19:40.940 Right. To find their way to do what they want and to be happy doing it.

00:19:46.460 Stop looking at other guys's competition.

00:19:48.980 I'll tell you where I think that comes from.

00:19:50.720 It's old biological programming when our tribes were very small and man, if Ryan gets a head up, if leg up on me, then he's going to get the women that I want. 0.96

00:20:06.760 And there's not too many of them that doesn't exist.

00:20:09.280 That world doesn't exist.

00:20:10.380 And a lot of the problems that guys have, I feel, come from this what one author, I can't remember his name, called an evolutionary mismatch.

00:20:21.200 And that's basically that our biological drives to compete with one another, to bash each other's heads in when someone cuts us off in traffic, even though it'll end us up in jail and, you know, will ruin our lives potentially.

00:20:37.080 We feel that way, yet it doesn't help us in the way the world's set up right now.

00:20:43.840 So get in control of that.

00:20:46.540 And I know I kind of got off topic because it was asking about women, but I don't think – I think women are very good at working together. 0.80

00:20:55.280 I think they come together and support one another.

00:20:57.960 They feel less competition.

00:20:59.260 I think they feel – by the way, I think they feel a lot more competition for men in general because they – in some ways, I even think that women are more competitive with each other when it comes to that.

00:21:12.200 But as far as business, they come to each other's aid.

00:21:15.420 They really help promote one another.

00:21:17.660 They're better socially in general than men are. 0.91

00:21:21.220 We're like the guys who are like, oh, grumble.

00:21:23.220 Are we going to talk about sports or, you know, it's just we got to work on that and work at being better collaborators with each other and get away from that wiring that has us feel threatened by other men.

00:21:40.500 Right.

00:21:40.760 Yeah, I call it the zero-sum game.

00:21:42.580 I mean, just to go back to what you were saying, like if I kill that deer, you know, 2,000 years ago, well, then that's a deer that you're not going to be able to kill and provide for your family, right?

00:21:51.220 Yeah, yeah, exactly.

00:21:52.100 And so we talk about the – but you're right.

00:21:54.200 With capitalism and the way that the world and the economy and the globe is set up, that it's not a zero-sum game.

00:22:00.040 There's always enough and new things can be created, which is why I believe, you know, collaboration – and I don't know where it will go with you and I, if it will go anywhere.

00:22:07.920 But we can create something, you know, by collaborating way stronger than we could do individually.

00:22:14.000 But I also think that men have a very difficult time.

00:22:17.820 And so here's my next question is, men have a very difficult time being real and authentic and vulnerable in a way.

00:22:27.380 And I think it drives back to that ego.

00:22:29.060 Do you agree?

00:22:29.660 And if so, how do we overcome that?

00:22:31.920 How do we become more vulnerable so that we can open ourselves up to collaboration?

00:22:35.740 That's a great question.

00:22:37.780 And I think, in part, it starts with the way we're taught from our fathers.

00:22:43.780 And unfortunately, a lot of fathers just haven't done a fantastic job.

00:22:50.180 And I don't want you to blame your father because they did the best they could.

00:22:56.300 Just like my dad was not a stellar dad.

00:22:59.040 We've got a good relationship now.

00:23:00.680 But I had a situation where I didn't talk to him.

00:23:03.940 I barely talked to him for a decade.

00:23:06.840 And that's not that long.

00:23:08.680 I mean, some people have really bad relationships.

00:23:11.120 But it's bad enough to say, you know, he wasn't the ideal guy I wanted in my life.

00:23:15.620 But we have to accept that our parents did the best that they could do.

00:23:19.620 We have to look at, well, OK, so if my dad told me – my dad did not tell me this,

00:23:25.700 but I talked to a lot of guys who were like, well, you know, showing feelings was weakness.

00:23:31.600 Crying was weakness.

00:23:33.340 Being vulnerable was weakness.

00:23:36.320 I don't know if that was ever true.

00:23:38.940 But in this day and age, showing vulnerability, being real, being honest,

00:23:44.840 and being authentic is a way to power.

00:23:49.620 What that does is it's like, here's me.

00:23:53.880 Here's what I've been through.

00:23:55.060 Here's what I'm good at.

00:23:56.500 Here's what I'm not good at.

00:23:57.940 Here's where I failed in my life.

00:23:59.860 Here's where I'm still failing.

00:24:01.620 What that does is take away the power of anybody else to use that stuff against you.

00:24:07.200 Like I said, I – let's say, you know, I shared something before about me being super awkward,

00:24:14.740 super shy, and to hear me now, I don't think I'm a stellar speaker.

00:24:20.000 I'm something I'm still working on.

00:24:22.020 To hear me now, it's like you would have never imagined that I was that shy, awkward kid

00:24:27.660 who played Dungeons and Dragons, but I was.

00:24:32.320 And then what's someone going to do?

00:24:33.700 Oh, you're a shy and auger. 1.00

00:24:35.260 You played Dungeons and Dragons. 0.99

00:24:36.960 You're such a punk.

00:24:38.280 I'm like, yeah, exactly.

00:24:39.920 That's exactly what I said.

00:24:41.820 Right.

00:24:42.120 I just said that.

00:24:42.920 Yeah.

00:24:43.280 Just said that.

00:24:44.440 Glad you're listening.

00:24:45.860 Let's keep it going.

00:24:46.760 So it takes away the power from people to use things against you.

00:24:52.280 And in this day and age, that's one way – that's one part. 1.00

00:24:56.740 The other part of that is so many people are full of shit these days. 0.99

00:25:02.180 They're lying about how much money they're making. 1.00

00:25:04.760 They're lying about how important they are.

00:25:06.720 They're lying about their accomplishments.

00:25:08.380 When you get someone who is willing to be real, who doesn't feel the need to impress other

00:25:16.740 people or to make things up to make them sound more important, that is a rare person.

00:25:23.340 And what is rare is more valuable by definition.

00:25:28.520 So be that rare individual who is honest, who is authentic.

00:25:33.980 And I don't mean going around – I don't go around and say, hey, what's up, Ryan?

00:25:38.000 Nice to meet you, man.

00:25:38.940 Oh, by the way, you know, I was a shy, awkward kid who used to play Dungeons and Dragons.

00:25:44.300 Right, right.

00:25:45.040 That's not how you have a conversation.

00:25:47.560 But if the situation does come up, be honest about something.

00:25:52.620 Share a story with someone.

00:25:54.480 I think maybe we might be a little programmed through biology, through society to like if

00:26:01.100 someone's being vulnerable, you may want to like, man, yeah, it makes you feel like,

00:26:06.640 oh, you've taken a step up in power.

00:26:09.860 But yeah, it doesn't work anymore.

00:26:12.240 You know, we've got these big groups of people, millions of people in the cities we live in.

00:26:17.720 So that doesn't work anymore.

00:26:20.500 And I kind of got off track a little bit.

00:26:23.780 But yeah, just it takes away the power of other people to call you out on what you already

00:26:30.920 know, what you already know to be true about yourself.

00:26:35.300 Well, what's interesting.

00:26:36.140 So I had a conversation a couple of months ago, right when we were starting this podcast

00:26:40.440 with a gentleman, Brad Harker is his name.

00:26:42.560 And we had an interview on how to become more influential.

00:26:45.300 And to date is my most downloaded episode to date since I started this project.

00:26:50.400 And I think a lot of the reason is, is because as men, we want to be leaders, we want to be

00:26:55.260 influential.

00:26:55.780 And I think sometimes we're looking for a shortcut to that.

00:26:59.980 And sometimes we might believe that, hey, if I if I can portray power or wealth or recognition,

00:27:06.580 then I'll become more influential.

00:27:08.160 But what he talked about is he said, no, it's actually the exact opposite.

00:27:11.740 That when you can be real and vulnerable and you can let people know that you're a human

00:27:15.920 being and you have struggles and things that you're working towards, that's when people

00:27:20.580 start to resonate with you.

00:27:21.900 That's when people start to connect with you and look to you as an example or a leader like

00:27:26.400 you hope to accomplish the entire time.

00:27:29.060 I agree with that 100 percent.

00:27:31.360 And I'll even go a little take it in a little bit of a different direction.

00:27:36.240 And I went when I was 20, 22, I got a job as a personal trainer here in Miami Beach.

00:27:44.640 I started working with some pretty high profile people in Miami Beach.

00:27:50.460 And one of them was a restaurant owner, very famous restaurant called The Forge.

00:27:55.800 And, you know, I met Russell Simmons and David Duchovny was there.

00:27:59.800 And, oh, I've met a bunch of people there, all types of people, including celebrities that

00:28:06.440 you've heard of and celebrities, local celebrities.

00:28:11.080 And I used to try to get into conversations and show how cool I was and failed horribly.

00:28:17.880 And I would always remember, like, these people, they're not even looking at me and acknowledging

00:28:23.380 me, you know, so showing off in that way, it's just means that you don't get it.

00:28:28.380 And so what I started to do is I started listening more and I started asking more questions.

00:28:34.500 And if you want to become the best conversationalist on the planet, listen to people more and ask

00:28:41.760 questions that show you're really interested in what they have to say and who they are.

00:28:49.120 That that right there, besides what you you and I have already talked about and what your

00:28:55.340 guest had had already talked about being authentic, it shows that you're a person who values them

00:29:03.160 and really, really important tip right there, because I my whole personal training business

00:29:10.980 is based on relationships.

00:29:13.300 And that's something that can take your relationships, can take your network up to the next level is

00:29:20.420 just simply being willing to listen to people on being present and really listening, actively

00:29:27.900 listening and asking questions in a way where you really find out who that person is.

00:29:34.220 Well, so we've talked a little bit about where guys are struggling and some of the things that

00:29:38.000 they can do to improve it.

00:29:38.960 What are some other areas of life that you think men really are falling behind and need to

00:29:45.260 do a little better on, need to focus on improving in their lives?

00:29:49.520 Well, I mean, I'm biased, but I got to go back to health.

00:29:54.320 Men are more overweight here in the U.S. and I believe the U.K.

00:29:58.680 too, more overweight than ever.

00:30:00.760 There's more obesity than ever.

00:30:03.380 Suicide in the U.S. is is sky high.

00:30:06.760 Men are more likely to take their lives.

00:30:09.120 Violence is higher with men. 0.98

00:30:11.080 You know, we got this issue where it's like people aren't happy.

00:30:14.360 And one of the reasons why they aren't happy is because they're not healthy.

00:30:17.760 I firmly believe that it starts with taking care of the vessel that you're given, this

00:30:24.780 body.

00:30:25.600 And it's very much a machine, just like your car, although infinitely more complex.

00:30:31.820 So if you had a nice car, because that's what your body is, regardless of what you think

00:30:37.340 it is, we couldn't even make a body in a lab.

00:30:40.380 We could clone a body.

00:30:41.420 We could, you know, do some other things, but we can't part by part, like how they put

00:30:47.680 together a car.

00:30:48.700 We it would take trillions of dollars to do that.

00:30:50.840 And we don't even have the technology to do it.

00:30:54.080 Right.

00:30:54.320 Yeah.

00:30:54.520 We're not even close.

00:30:55.460 Not even close.

00:30:56.140 We have no idea how the brain works.

00:30:57.880 We have no idea how the endocrine system works.

00:31:00.080 We have ideas that we're getting better, but long far away from that.

00:31:04.280 So start with that, taking care of your body.

00:31:07.340 And I'm not just talking about exercise here, but lifestyle, sleep hygiene, managing

00:31:11.620 stress, eating good, healthy foods.

00:31:15.820 And I'm not a huge fan of diets, but just sticking towards the whole just eat real food

00:31:21.980 thing or the primal approach where you're not eating foods that have a lot of manmade

00:31:28.500 chemicals where you don't understand them.

00:31:30.840 And that's a huge controversial point in the fitness industry, whether you're whether you

00:31:36.600 know it or not listening out there.

00:31:38.100 But a huge controversial.

00:31:40.420 But I would say it's a good rule of thumb to stay away from that stuff.

00:31:45.180 Get away from the processed food and sleep is huge.

00:31:49.680 You can lower your testosterone by going without sleep for too long.

00:31:55.640 I haven't read up on this study, so I can't quote hard statistics.

00:32:00.840 If there is such a thing, but to give you the feedback on what the research studies said,

00:32:06.560 but it's bad.

00:32:08.120 It can affect your recovery.

00:32:10.080 And if you're freaking out in life, if you feel too stressed out in life, there's probably

00:32:15.140 something going on with you physically.

00:32:17.480 And you really get that under control and build from there.

00:32:21.940 So sleep hygiene, engage in regular exercise, engage in vigorous exercise a couple of times

00:32:31.540 a week, two, three, four.

00:32:34.060 We could get into a lot of detail there because that's what I do with my personal training clients.

00:32:40.700 But, you know, regular exercise, do vigorous exercise a few times a week.

00:32:45.480 That means lifting weights, sprinting, could be a Brazilian jiu-jitsu or MMA class.

00:32:53.900 Make sure you're eating those healthy foods that we've been eating for a long time.

00:32:58.560 Stay away from processed food is probably the best way to put it, although there are some

00:33:03.100 good processed foods out there.

00:33:06.080 We can get into that on a later date.

00:33:08.380 That's for another podcast episode.

00:33:09.860 So what can men do?

00:33:12.140 Because I know a lot of the information that we hear about exercise and nutrition and sleep

00:33:16.740 is not new, right?

00:33:18.540 I mean, we all kind of know, hey, these are some basic principles and how to be healthy.

00:33:22.220 But for some reason, we are just not doing it.

00:33:25.180 And so I'd be really curious as to your thoughts as to why we don't do the things that we know

00:33:30.320 we should be doing.

00:33:31.800 Oh, man, you know, this is huge.

00:33:33.720 I don't think that I think one of the issues is people have a men in particular have a bit

00:33:42.620 of a disconnect from who they are as a person and their biology.

00:33:48.880 And they don't understand, oh, well, when I take that thermogenic thing that's supposed

00:33:54.500 to help me burn fat, you know what?

00:33:56.200 My I'm a little short.

00:33:58.300 My fuse is a little shorter.

00:33:59.660 Or, hey, when I go without eating for a long time, my fuse is a little shorter or, you

00:34:05.000 know, oh, man, I had a really lousy day at work and they don't put it together that they

00:34:11.980 stayed up too late. 0.58

00:34:13.480 They drink too much alcohol and they got a shitty night's sleep. 0.75

00:34:18.120 And that's the reason.

00:34:19.460 So getting and getting in touch, starting to again, it comes back to the self-awareness,

00:34:24.480 right?

00:34:24.700 Start making connections between the actions you take in your life, what types of food

00:34:30.500 you eat, what types of exercise you do, what types of, you know, whether you go to bed

00:34:36.160 at 10 p.m. and you whether you have good quality sleep and the way you feel.

00:34:42.700 And then maybe another more psychologically oriented thing can can be getting in touch with why

00:34:52.720 you really you want to get in shape, why you think it's important.

00:34:57.420 And for most men, unfortunately, it takes a scare where the doctor says, hey, listen,

00:35:03.720 if you don't change your life, you're going to die from a heart attack.

00:35:07.300 You know, then they're like, oh, wow, you know, I've been saved.

00:35:11.440 I'm a new person.

00:35:12.300 I'm going to start exercising.

00:35:13.760 I'm going to hire a trainer.

00:35:14.700 I'm going to eat right.

00:35:15.360 I'm going to go to bed by 10 p.m.

00:35:16.860 I'm going to know if you wait until that happens, man, you are doing yourself such a

00:35:23.780 disservice.

00:35:24.400 And I'll even give you a deeper reason why you should be why you should get in shape,

00:35:29.240 because if you're a parent and you are not taking care of yourself, your kids are going

00:35:37.520 to live by your example.

00:35:39.500 They're not going to listen to what you say.

00:35:41.420 Hey, I know because I've been a kid, didn't listen to my dad or yeah, they're not going

00:35:47.360 to listen to what you say.

00:35:49.300 They're not going to listen to your lessons.

00:35:51.900 They're going to emulate you.

00:35:53.900 They're going to model you.

00:35:55.640 So if you can't find it in yourself to take care of your health for yourself, then do it

00:36:02.780 for your kids.

00:36:03.620 Do it because you want to be a role model for for your sons, your daughters.

00:36:08.640 Do it because you want to show them, hey, this is how you express self-love, because

00:36:15.080 taking care of man, I see people who take great care of their cars and they treat themselves 1.00

00:36:20.460 like shit. 1.00

00:36:21.540 Right, right. 1.00

00:36:22.660 A $60,000 car, $30,000 car.

00:36:25.760 And you got this this amazing machine that couldn't even be built by our technology today

00:36:32.820 is as amazing as it is.

00:36:34.500 And you're and you're taking it through the drive through at Burger King or, you

00:36:39.140 know, skipping meals.

00:36:41.240 Yeah.

00:36:41.920 I mean, show your kids, show your kids that you care about yourself because they'll learn

00:36:47.380 self-love through that.

00:36:49.180 And you will also model good behavior so they'll know how to exercise.

00:36:53.840 I learned how to exercise from my dad.

00:36:56.160 He lost it eventually.

00:36:58.100 And now he's, uh, you know, not in very good shape at all, but I remember hanging from his

00:37:04.540 bicep.

00:37:05.440 He would flex his bicep and that thing seems so huge to me when I was six years old and

00:37:10.900 I would hang from it and my sister would hang from his other one.

00:37:13.800 I remember that vividly.

00:37:16.220 And I got started exercising because of that and because he had weights around because

00:37:22.800 he had Arnold's, uh, I forget the name of Arnold's first book, but he had Arnold Schwarzenegger's

00:37:27.740 first book that inspired me to do what I'm doing today.

00:37:32.020 And who knows if that would have ever happened if I didn't have that early connection with,

00:37:37.500 with, uh, exercise and with my dad and him being such a powerful guy could hang from his

00:37:43.300 arm.

00:37:43.720 Um, so get, get in touch with that and do it for your kids.

00:37:47.720 If you can't do it for yourself, I love that.

00:37:50.160 I mean, that's, yeah, I agree with that.

00:37:52.260 And that's part of the reason, you know, I went on, I started this journey a couple of

00:37:55.240 years ago of, of, uh, eating healthy and exercising.

00:37:58.560 And I remember vividly the, where I, where I felt like I was getting in really good shape

00:38:05.120 and my boys asked me to come jump on the trampoline.

00:38:07.920 And I remember it was like, it was yesterday.

00:38:10.020 They actually got tired before I did.

00:38:12.440 And I was like so excited about it that I could just bounce out there for hours with

00:38:16.800 them.

00:38:17.320 So Ted, for the sake of time, as we're winding down, I've got a couple more questions for

00:38:21.720 you.

00:38:21.940 And the first question I have for you is a question I ask everybody I have on, and I'm

00:38:25.460 always intrigued with the answers.

00:38:27.380 What do you feel like it means to be a man?

00:38:29.900 It means to know your values, to live by your values, and to constantly strive for improvement.

00:38:41.620 Simple, easy, right?

00:38:43.960 Yeah.

00:38:44.940 You know, we could get into long discussions, but I think these days, if you do that, if you

00:38:51.760 apply what I said, you will hit all the areas.

00:38:54.820 You will be a person who is physically healthy.

00:38:57.400 You will be a person who is emotionally healthy.

00:38:59.820 You will be a person who sets boundaries in their life, strong boundaries in their life

00:39:06.280 and knows what they will and will not accept in their life.

00:39:09.880 You will be a great role model for other people and for more importantly, for your children.

00:39:16.100 But I really think it comes down to knowing what you value, living by those values, because

00:39:21.840 so many of us don't.

00:39:23.060 We say we value health.

00:39:25.380 Oh, yeah, of course I value my health.

00:39:27.580 Why did you just eat that Whopper and big fries and wash it down with that fully sugared

00:39:35.660 Coke and you haven't exercised in six months?

00:39:40.080 You know, we don't live by our values.

00:39:42.080 Oh, of course I think providing for my children is important.

00:39:45.320 Then why do you keep spending money on things that aren't improving their lives or not really

00:39:52.040 improving your lives and your life and, you know, live, know what your values are and live

00:39:58.080 by them and constantly strive to improve on the areas where you need more work.

00:40:03.980 Ted, how do we learn more about you with Legendary Life and then also with the fitness and health

00:40:08.380 training that you're doing?

00:40:09.600 How do we get in contact with you and find out more about what you're all about?

00:40:12.580 Yeah, the best place is go to LegendaryLife.com.

00:40:15.860 I'm sorry, LegendaryLifePodcast.com and find me on Facebook, Ted Rice, R-Y-S-E-E.

00:40:23.340 I love to connect with people.

00:40:25.020 So if you listen to this interview, you learn something, it inspired you in some way or I'd

00:40:31.320 love to hear from you.

00:40:32.060 What did you learn?

00:40:32.900 You know, reach out to me.

00:40:33.840 I love to connect with people.

00:40:35.620 So I'd love to hear from you.

00:40:37.780 Awesome.

00:40:38.260 Ted, thank you for taking your time.

00:40:39.840 And like I said before, you've been instrumental in a motivation for me getting this project

00:40:44.280 going.

00:40:44.680 So it's been an honor to talk with you.

00:40:46.160 Oh, Ryan, that is awesome.

00:40:47.500 And thank you for the opportunity to be on the show.

00:40:50.000 I've had a great time.

00:40:52.000 There you go, guys.

00:40:52.800 Again, thanks to Ted Rice for sharing some of his knowledge about what it means to be a

00:40:56.220 man and how to navigate the modern world.

00:40:57.860 I hope that you got as much out of this episode as I walk away with.

00:41:00.980 Remember, if you need a refresher on any of this info, you can pick it up at orderofman.com

00:41:04.900 slash 021.

00:41:07.180 Again, leave us a review, if you would, at orderofman.com slash iTunes.

00:41:10.880 I read each and every one of those and pick up the eight skill sets every man must master

00:41:15.440 at orderofman.com slash skills.

00:41:18.100 If you've been listening to this show for any length of time, you know that I love the

00:41:21.440 world of sports.

00:41:22.220 Athletics are such a great metaphor for life.

00:41:24.080 So next week, I've got a former Division I All-American wrestler coming on to talk about

00:41:29.840 what he's learned about life on the wrestling mat.

00:41:32.420 Do not miss that.

00:41:33.260 Subscribe to the show.

00:41:34.020 So guys, I look forward to talking with you next week.

00:41:36.240 But until then, take action and become the man you were meant to be.

00:41:40.280 Thank you for listening to the Order of Man podcast.

00:41:43.240 You're ready to take charge of your life and be more of the man you were meant to be.

00:41:47.260 We invite you to join the order at orderofman.com.

Order of Man - August 11, 2015

OoM 021： Masculinty in a Modern World with Ted Ryce

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