OoM 043： Building Confidence Through Better Style with Aaron Marino
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Summary
Aaron Marino with I AM Alpha M. helps us answer that question and teaches us how style, not just your clothes, but your grooming, your communication, and the way you show up will help you become the confident man you want to be.
Transcript
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Confidence can be a tricky thing. It's the age-old adage of what comes first, the chicken or the egg.
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What comes first, confidence, or the daily actions to get you to the life that you deserve.
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My guest today, Aaron Marino with I Am Alpha M, helps us answer that question and teaches us how style,
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not just your clothes, but your grooming, your communication, and the way you show up
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will help you become the confident man you want to be.
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You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest, embrace your fears, and boldly chart your own path.
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When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time, every time.
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You are not easily deterred or defeated, rugged, resilient, strong.
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This is your life. This is who you are. This is who you will become.
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At the end of the day, and after all is said and done, you can call yourself a man.
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Welcome, guys, to the Order of Man podcast. I am Ryan Mickler, the host and founder of Order of Man.
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Now, we're talking all things manly on this podcast, and today we're talking specifically
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about style and confidence and how you can build both.
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Before we get too much into this, I wanted to send you a formal invitation to join our elite mastermind,
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The Iron Council. Now, this month, me and the guys will be talking a lot about planning and vision
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and creating a framework for making 2016 a success, and I know that's on a lot of people's mind right now.
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And if you're telling yourself things like, I feel stuck, or I know there's more to life,
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or I'm ready to take my life to the next level, this is the group for you.
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We're having real discussions each week, holding each other accountable to our goals and priorities,
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talking in our closed Facebook group, completing assignments, and some resources to help us take
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our lives up a notch. You need to head over to orderofman.com slash iron council right now,
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watch the video, and you'll be able to join these other solid men in their pursuit to become the best
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men they were meant to be. Also, our weekly giveaway with my friends over at Seneca Creek. Congrats to the
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winner of last week's giveaway, which was the dop kit and men's grooming supplies. Now,
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this week, we'll be giving away the FinStreamer wallet. It's specifically for fly fishermen. If
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you're interested, you can enter the giveaway by heading to orderofman.com slash Seneca Creek
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giveaway three, Seneca Creek giveaway three. Now let's get into the show today. Remember,
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you can find all the links, the resources, everything that you need at orderofman.com
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slash zero four three. And of course, join in the conversation we're having with over 1500 men
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on our Facebook group at facebook.com slash groups slash order of man. Now, my guest,
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Aaron Marino has worked with thousands of men from all over the world, and he helps them with
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their personal style, grooming, fashion, image, wardrobe, and even dating. He does weekly YouTube
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posts. Aaron Marino covers a host of topics in the area of men's style and fashion, grooming,
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and personal responsibility, which you know is a theme here on the order of men podcast. Now,
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among his other achievements, Aaron Marino is a shark tank guest. He's also the author of the
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bestselling ebook, the male style guide. He is the founder and developer of the go-to source for all
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things men's style, grooming, and fitness, which is I am alpha M. This site features over 1500
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original videos and articles. Above all, Aaron's goal is to help men build more confidence,
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unlock their true potential, and get more out of life than they ever dreamed possible.
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Aaron, what's going on, man? Thanks for joining us today.
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Ryan, it's my pleasure, sir. I'm so excited to be here. I've been watching what you've been doing,
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and I'm just so incredibly impressed with the direction that you're taking everything. It's
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absolutely my pleasure. Well, I appreciate it. We had a chance to meet at StyleCon last year,
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and I'm looking forward to StyleCon and connecting and rubbing shoulders again. Let's see. We're doing
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it in March, right? March of 2016? March 11th, 12th, and 13th. Yeah, I encourage any of the guys that are
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listening to this. If you are available March 11th, 12th, 13th, come to Atlanta and get connected.
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There's nothing like interacting and meeting the quality and caliber of guys that you will at
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StyleCon. And that's one of the things that just really blew my mind the first time we had it was
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just, you know, the friendships and the relationships was just something I wasn't prepared
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for. And so, yeah, it's awesome. Get there. It is awesome. And I don't know whether you know this
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or not, and I've told the guys before that I attribute a lot of the success of the launch of
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Order of Man to that event and meeting you and meeting the other guys that I did. In fact, I did a
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blog roundup a week or so after I got back from StyleCon about all the guys I met. You're on that
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list as well. And that article absolutely took off. I think it's been viewed over 80,000 times now.
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And so it's just a testament to what you guys have done and all the guys that I was able to meet.
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And I really want to thank you for helping me build Order of Man.
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Well, you know how you're thanking us. You're speaking this year.
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Yeah. Yeah. No, we're so thrilled to have you. And I think you're going to bring
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just a different value proposition than the other guys. And so I'm really excited. Really excited.
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So I want to have this conversation about style. And I know eight months ago, nine months ago,
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if you would have said that style is manly, I would have laughed you out of the room.
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And I've come to realize that style is more than just fashion. It's more than just your wardrobe.
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So I'd really like to know from your perspective, when I say style, and when you think about that and
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all the work you've done, what are you talking about when you say that?
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Basically, when I hear the word style, and really the message that I'm trying to communicate when I
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do talk about style, it's really the personal packaging. And you hear horror stories, you see
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guys that really don't put much time or energy into making sure that they're dressing with purpose.
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And so when I talk about style, it doesn't matter if my style is different than yours and yours
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different than Joe's. It's all about finding something that resonates with you and that speaks
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to who you are as a man and as a person. And so style is just about packaging yourself from the
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outside in, the way that you want to be received by others. And that's really what it boils down to.
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Why do you think that we as men, and this is general, but we as men struggle with this,
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or it's not even that we struggle with it. It's just something that's not even on our mind. Are you
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Oh, absolutely. And the reason is because as men, we're not taught that that's important.
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We're taught to get educated, to be good at sports, to marry a beautiful woman, to raise 2.5
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well-adjusted kids, but nowhere in there is take care of yourself. Women, on the other hand,
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have the reverse situation going on. There's a lot of emphasis put on the aesthetic. And just from a
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societal standpoint, I feel that men really just aren't taught or encouraged to embrace wanting
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to take care of themselves and look good. And there's absolutely nothing to be ashamed of.
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There's nothing unmanly about caring about the appearance that you present.
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Do you think that the reason guys are reserved, for lack of a better term about this, is because
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it is typically, and again, generally speaking, focused towards women and it's more of a culture
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and it's more normal when it comes to their conversation that they're having?
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Yeah, I think it's not being sure where they fit. And there's been this whole movement. I mean,
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years ago, the term, they came out with the term, was metrosexual. And so I think that guys are a
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little bit weary about being seen as less masculine or gay or just sort of associating vanity with taking
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care of yourself. And it's not even about that in my world and in my mind. It has nothing to do
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necessarily with vanity. It has everything to do with just wanting to present yourself in the best
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possible way. It's so incredibly competitive out there in terms of professional, social. There's
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so much competition and we can't afford not to pay attention to the little details. Style, grooming,
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our body, our communication all play into sort of that package or your image, if you will.
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Is there a reoccurring trend that you see guys struggling with? Maybe it's their clothes,
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maybe it's the way that they're communicating. What's the underlying thread? It seems to be a
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common thread, if you will. Well, there are two different things you just mentioned. Yeah, style.
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The one thing that I see time in and time again is guys not understanding their bodies,
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not understanding how clothing should fit them, and associating big, roomy, baggy with comfort.
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And so most men that I meet, that I talk to that are searching for that next step or to up their game
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and their level is we get them into clothes that actually fit them and fit their body.
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Even if your wife, girlfriend is shopping for you, that's not a solution. She spends so much time and
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energy worrying about herself because women's style changed so much. She just buys you what she sees her
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friend's husband's buying. She looks to see what's on sale. And so deferring that responsibility to
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your significant other is absolutely not a solution. In terms of body language, I think,
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I don't know what it is, Ryan. I think we've lost our confidence as a society and as a gender.
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And, you know, this lack of confidence is sort of, I don't know, it transcends all the little
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different, you know, from eye contact to posture to, you know, handshake to, you know, verbal
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communication. You know, we just don't present a confident package anymore.
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It's funny. My wife will do this and I can't even explain it. I might have to video this and
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she wouldn't approve of that, but hide a video camera or something in video. She does this thing
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where she makes fun of, you know, quote unquote kids these days, right? And she has her hair in
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front of her eyes and she's kind of slouched over and she's shy and timid about even making eye
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contact. And as funny, funny as it is, the reality is, is that that's so true. I see that in young
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boys. I see that in young women that they just don't have this confidence. Why do you think that
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is? Oh man, all the messages that were being sent. We just, I think, you know, in an attempt to make
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everybody feel good about themselves, you know, sort of, this is going to get, this is going to
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get weird fast probably, Ryan. No, I think that, I think in an attempt to make everybody feel good,
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I think the, the, the guy has sort of been, I don't know, not encouraged and has not been
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cultivated in a way that, I don't know, I think everything else has been. And so we don't know where,
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where we fit. We don't know our place. We don't know our place in relationships. We don't know our,
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our place in society. And so there's a lot of, you know, a lot of insecurity that comes along with
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that. And so that's my, my opinion, but. No, I think you're right on. So one of the fears that I
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have, and this is still a fear to this day about confidence is I want to exude confidence. I want to
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be confident. I want other people to see that I feel good about myself and who I am, but I don't
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want to take it too far to the level of cockiness or arrogance. So tell me where that line is.
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Absolutely. And that is the, there's such a big difference between confidence and arrogance.
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And the main one that, that I've identified is that arrogant people are trying to prove their
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value to the world around them. Confident men don't need to. And so the arrogant man is putting
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other people down in order to raise themselves up. The confident man grabs your hand and brings you
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with them. Easy. It's as simple as that, right? Is it? If you're confident, you have absolutely,
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you, you, you, you understand the value that you bring to the, to this world and to society,
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and you strive to make it a better place. The arrogant man is just so preoccupied with trying
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to prove his worth that he does that by basically just, just being a jerk and putting other people
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down. So what comes first? Is it you improve your style and confidence follows? Is it I'm going to
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get confident or get clear about my life? And then therefore the way that I portray myself follows?
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How does that work? Great question. And I think that really there, there are different ways that it
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happens for, for different people. I like to joke when, when I help somebody with, uh, with their style
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that we're giving them confidence from the outside in. When you change the outside appearance,
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then all of a sudden you start to feel a little bit better. You see, and you like the person that
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you see looking back at you in the mirror. And that transcends every aspect of your life. But I
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think a lot of people also develop and, and, and find their inner confidence just through successes
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and whether or not that's success in relationship, that's success in a career. But the reality also,
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in my opinion, is that you can be confident in one area of your life and very insecure in other
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areas. I think just as a general confidence rule, you know, the confident guys understands that he's
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not going to be great at everything and that's okay. And failure doesn't necessarily, you know,
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cause him to retreat and, and lose his identity and, and, uh, feeling good about himself.
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Right. Yeah. And I like what you say. I could see both. It's not that one comes first. It's that
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they work simultaneously in high school. I had a baseball coach and one of his phrases was always,
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if you look good, you play good. And so regardless of our level of athleticism or
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the way that we were playing, the one thing that we always, always, always had control over was the
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way that we looked. So we always had new uniforms. They're always top of the line. They are always
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the newest and latest style. And we always looked good. And I think we played to that level as well.
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Very good. I like it. I'd get along well with your coach.
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You would. He had some other phrases that I don't think I'll share on this podcast too.
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Probably wise, sir. Probably wise. So I'm going to jump back to something you said,
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dressing on purpose. And so I want to know, how does a guy dress on purpose? How does he find his
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style? How does he be deliberate? Because I look at, at, at attire that you wear and some of these
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other guys wear, and I don't know if that necessarily fits me. It's not right or wrong.
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It's just style. So how do you find that for yourself?
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Yeah. I really think it boils down to, see, one of the reasons why a lot of men are fearful about
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stepping outside of their comfort zone is the fear of basically being made fun of. You don't
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necessarily take the time to explore different styles, different options, because you're afraid
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that your friends are going to notice. And so one of the things that I encourage guys to do is start
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with one specific item. Maybe it's a new pair of shoes. Maybe it's a new pair of pants, not changing
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everything all at once. And so you sort of just make baby steps and you elevate your style gradually.
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And it's sort of a seamless transition. As far as how you identify what you like, it really,
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I think boils down to, you know, just, just taking a look, see what you see, you know, in terms of,
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you know, men around you, but a great tool and sort of a little style hack is to when you're in these
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different stores, take a look at the mannequins, take a look to see what they're wearing. There are
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people that get paid a lot of money to dress mannequins and to, to, you know, basically put their
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outfits and looks together. And so, you know, that if you see a look, it's in that store,
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so you can grab a sales associate, ask them to try it and see it, it might not work for you,
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but maybe one aspect or piece of that outfit will work for you. And so it's just about trying
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different things and seeing what, what feels comfortable, what feels good and looking to,
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you know, the media or your, your peers in order to identify some things that you find attractive
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and, and you find a, I don't know, some, some style value in. Right. Yeah. And I like what you
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said is finding it's attractive to you, right? It resonates with you. I mean, there's guys that
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I look at and I think in the movies, for example, and I think, man, I like guy looks really sharp.
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I would probably never wear that, but he looks sharp. And so finding what works for you and then
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gradually implementing some of those changes into your wardrobe. I mean, it even comes down to my
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beard. A lot of people ask me about my beard and what do people think of it? And for me,
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I like having a beard. I think it's cool. And it's a great conversation starter, if you will,
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but it also fits my brand of being manly. So it's very deliberate in, in the way that I'm
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communicating or portraying myself as well. Uber manly. That's right. That's right. We're not
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messing around over here. No, no, no, sir. It is a fantastic beard as well. So tell me,
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are there some basic, we're going to talk about wardrobe just for a minute here. Are there some
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basic items that every man should be aware of and every man should own? Yeah. And this is just
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some real general basic stuff, but I would say that every guy needs that perfect pair of jeans.
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And I mean, you're going to, that's what everybody says. When you ask any style guy,
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they go, what do you need? A pair of denim. I would say you probably need two pairs,
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a dark wash pair that you can dress up a little bit and a casual pair that you don't mind,
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you know, going and grabbing a beer or hanging out with your buddies in. So jeans,
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they got to fit you great. A pair of boots, some type of boots. Boots are sexy. Boots make guys feel
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good. And if you're shorter in stature, they're a great way to add an inch or two to your height.
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The, the, the fitted white Oxford is a great shirt that is incredibly versatile.
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Just a simple button up Oxford you can find in most stores. And a leather jacket, a leather jacket is
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something that I feel like guys just get. And when they wear it, they feel great. And so those are
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some, some of my go-to options and, and, and, um, you know, style must haves, but there, there are
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quite a few more. I think you did a video. I think I watched a video on this cause I remember the white
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Oxford shirt and, uh, and I'll have to make a link to that in the show notes. I'll put that video up
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there, link it back to your site. Cause that was pretty valuable as I was going through that. And I'm
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trying to upgrade my, my style as well. But one thing, Ryan, that I just need to point out to the
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guys listening is the items that you buy. If you stay away from trendy items, this is going to serve
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you much better in the long run. Um, you know, as opposed to things that you can just wear this
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season or next year, just stick to classic styles. Don't worry about getting, um, you know, clothing
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with big, busy patterns, stick to the classic styles and you will be able to have a wardrobe
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that not only works now, but works in two years from now, three years from now, because the, I mean,
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just for an example, a suit, how much really has the man's suit changed over the course of the past
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30 years? Right. Not very much nuances, three buttons, two buttons, the lapel will change in size,
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but generally speaking, you know, if you buy smart and you buy classic, it's going to be timeless.
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And that is the, the biggest tip that I can give anybody when they're looking to upgrade their
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wardrobe. Yeah. I think, uh, Raphael, in fact, at, at style con actually, he either wore a suit or
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showed us his, his very first suit that he bought 20 or 30 years ago. And it looked just as good today
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as it did back then. Absolutely. That blue suit, that blue double-dressed pinstripe suit. I actually
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love that story so much. I asked him to, uh, to film a video telling the story that I could share
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with my, my audience. And so people really liked that. It was a great story. Very cool. So how long
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have you been doing this? Is this something that you've always been fascinated with? Is this is a
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relatively new development? Tell me about that. Uh, I actually used to own a fitness center. And so,
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you know, I've always been interested in style and, and grooming and taking care of myself.
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But, uh, when I owned the fitness center, one of my male clients, this guy, Steve had a date. He
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didn't know what to wear. He asked me, he thought, Oh, you always look good at work. And so I, I, I,
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I offered to take him shopping and to see what he had in his wardrobe did that one thing led to
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another. And I started getting calls from some of his coworkers. And so I had the opportunity to sell
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my fitness center because I, it was miserable. And, um, and so I decided to see if there was a
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market for a regular guy like myself to give solid, basic style advice to, to other regular guys. And,
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and so this was back in 2006 when I, when I started doing this full time. And so.
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There's actually two lessons there that I can see. Number one, from your perspective
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is you saw need guys were asking you for a little bit of advice and help and you pursue that. So
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that's lesson number one. I think that's awesome. Lesson number two, I think you said his name was
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Steve. He actually reached out for advice. A lot of guys won't go ask for advice from somebody
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because they're timid or they're scared or they're afraid what somebody might think. I was having a
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conversation earlier today about that very topic. And so it's cool to hear that there's success when you
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actually ask for help. Absolutely. I couldn't agree more. I, the older I get and the more I
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experienced, the more I realize what I don't know. And instead of fumbling through it, it is the
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quickest way to point a ask for help, get advice from people that, that know what they're talking
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about. So how does a guy that goes from helping a buddy pick out his clothes for a date to a shark
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tank appearance? That's what I'm curious about. I know a lot of guys would be interested in that.
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Yeah. Yeah. I was on shark tank. Um, you know, I came out with this, uh, this, this system to teach
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guys how to dress. And it was, it was almost like geranimals for adults, adult guys, you know,
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put a with B show them pictures and, and teach them how to put together some outfits. And so I was
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having coffee with my dad and he said, well, how are you going to market this? And I said, yeah,
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I don't know. Uh, my website, maybe YouTube, he goes, well, why don't you go on shark tank? And,
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uh, it happened to be my favorite show. And so I'm like, yeah, let me, let me see what that's
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about. So I went online and I, I submitted an application and this was on a Friday on Monday.
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I got a call from their casting director saying, Hey, let's, uh, have you fill out some more paperwork
00:22:39.580
and, and start the process. And so, yeah, that was, uh, it was one of the most amazing experiences
00:22:46.040
of my life. Shark tank is, is just a great show. If you're an entrepreneur, it it's a, it's a wonderful
00:22:52.220
learning experience and you can really learn a lot. One of the, the most amazing things about the
00:22:58.840
experience was being in a hotel with 30 entrepreneurs, guys and gals that just get it.
00:23:06.440
There's some of the smartest people I've ever met. And so it was really just an amazing experience.
00:23:12.140
Well, so you're in this, obviously, if anybody's seen the show, you're in this
00:23:15.740
hyper stressful environment. Tell me what you learned about presenting yourself
00:23:23.820
Preparation is key and visualization as well. Um, I, I joke with people that by the time I was
00:23:30.360
in shark tank, I'd already been there 5,000 times in my head, practicing the pitch whenever you,
00:23:36.780
you know, public speaking is such a nerve wracking. And what is it? The, the number one fear that most
00:23:41.440
people have is getting up in front of a group of people. And it doesn't matter how, how much you've
00:23:47.600
done it. It's still always going to be a little bit uncomfortable, I would say. And so for me,
00:23:52.740
it was all about just the visualization and practicing. By the time I got in there,
00:23:58.620
basically they said pitch and it was autopilot. And so, you know, just, yeah, you just got to
00:24:05.620
practice, practice, practice is the best advice I could give anybody.
00:24:10.520
So let me ask you this, because I've heard you present a couple of times. I've seen the shark
00:24:13.940
tank segment and you're a guy who's seen, and I've seen your YouTube videos. And from my perspective,
00:24:19.000
I think this is a guy with the silver tongue. Like he's got it all figured out. He knows how to
00:24:23.460
talk. He knows how to communicate. He's confident. And I think a lot of guys are going to look at that
00:24:27.880
and say, that would never be me. So what do you say to that guy?
00:24:30.420
I say that it wasn't always me. Um, you know, I have gotten good and, and public speaking and,
00:24:38.980
and interaction and communication is something, it is a skill. It's not something that somebody is born
00:24:45.780
with. If you practice, if you engage, you get better, but you've got to put yourself in
00:24:52.240
uncomfortable situations and be okay with being uncomfortable. And I think really that's the key
00:24:58.040
is just to get involved, get out there, get outside of your comfort zone, because if you never do,
00:25:04.980
then you never will get good. But the more you interact, the more you talk, the more you network,
00:25:10.200
the more you communicate, the better at it you get.
00:25:12.720
Yeah. If you keep going, right. If you keep pushing and keep trying, I remember one of the
00:25:16.800
very first times I spoke in public, I was a, let's see, I was in eighth grade and I had to go
00:25:22.200
back to my elementary school to present some sort of club or organization that we had in middle school.
00:25:28.760
And Aaron, I completely flopped. I froze up. I didn't know what to say. And the whole class was
00:25:34.400
there. And I thought I was the big man on campus. And I vowed, I said to myself, I will never,
00:25:38.800
ever let that happen again. But that was a big learning experience for me.
00:25:42.920
Well, now you could figuratively go, if you could go back and give little eighth grade you a knuckle
00:25:47.580
bump, you've gotten fantastic. So that's right. That's right.
00:25:52.100
Success. So it gets better young, Ryan, it gets better.
00:25:55.500
I would probably still embarrass myself. You know, sometimes kids are harder to communicate with
00:26:03.340
They're, they're harsh. That's why. So tell me, I'm going to go back. You said you were,
00:26:08.400
you had a fitness gym and this was the business. What role does fitness and health and nutrition play
00:26:14.060
in communication and style in the way that we're presenting ourselves?
00:26:17.560
Everything. In my personal opinion, and this is just through my life, I feel that my confidence
00:26:25.860
comes from taking care of myself physically and, and emotionally. Um, I think that I absolutely
00:26:34.040
prescribe to the theory that our body is our temple and it transcends every aspect of your life. If you
00:26:39.820
take care of yourself, if you treat yourself well and you challenge yourself physically, everything else
00:26:47.300
is better. Um, you know, style just for, for an example, you know, when you're, when you're in good
00:26:54.360
shape, your clothes look better, but you can also, even if you're not, cause here's the thing,
00:26:59.540
most of us do not have Adonis like physiques. This is a fact, but we can be the best that we
00:27:05.040
can possibly be. Um, I say it starts with five pounds. If you can lose five pounds, you can lose
00:27:10.620
10. If you can lose 10, you can lose 20, you know, do 50 pushups a day. There are little things and
00:27:16.760
lifestyle changes that we can take that doesn't require you to have a fitness membership and doesn't
00:27:21.840
require you to be some fitness zealot, but it's going to impact your life in a way that you can't
00:27:28.680
even believe confidence is going to go through the roof. Everything gets better. If you just take
00:27:34.120
that first step and take care of yourself physically. How does that look for you? What is, what is your
00:27:38.840
day or your week look like when it comes to staying in shape and eating right? Eating right is a full-time
00:27:43.800
job. It's not something that is, uh, I, I eat very healthy because I have conditioned myself to really
00:27:51.340
like healthy food. Um, fitness. I work out every day. Um, I believe that you got to break a sweat
00:27:57.460
every day and it's going to absolutely pay dividends in the long run. So I exercise, I do
00:28:04.140
cardio every day. I, I, I, um, lift weights, you know, four to five times a week, nothing crazy,
00:28:10.760
nothing too long. Uh, but I just need to get it in for me and my sanity and my, my stress relief.
00:28:17.980
It's my time, you know, going to the gym and working out, that's a time for you to be 100%
00:28:23.060
selfish. You don't have to worry about work. You don't have to worry about kids. You don't
00:28:27.100
have to worry about anything. It's you taking care of you. And so I don't know if I answered
00:28:32.640
the question or went off another, uh, wormhole. No, it's perfect. I mean, I totally agree with that.
00:28:39.260
I've been on a fitness journey and everybody here knows a little bit about that story over the past
00:28:42.700
several years. And yeah, it's amazing how much, obviously there's the physical benefits of it.
00:28:48.920
I'm, I'm more energetic. I'm not as tired as often or frequently. I can do stuff with the kids when I
00:28:52.900
get home, but everything has improved from the relationship I have with my wife to my business
00:28:58.820
and the income coming in as a direct correlation of the way that I've taken care of my body and been
00:29:03.800
on this fitness journey. So I completely agree with you there. Well, good. What?
00:29:07.160
Then we don't have to arm wrestle. All right, good. Right. You might win that one. I know. So
00:29:13.920
we'll, we'll leave it there. I'll agree with whatever you say. What, uh, what are some of
00:29:19.320
the common mistakes that you see guys making when it comes to style? You mentioned baggy clothes as
00:29:25.420
being one of them. Hanging on to see as men, there's another thing that we do, which is hang
00:29:30.300
on to clothes much longer than we should. And I think we, there's, there's some degree of sentimental
00:29:36.600
value that we place on old stuff and old clothes. And so we'll hang on to t-shirts, underwear,
00:29:44.500
whatever it is, long past its prime, long past when it's wearable. And so not upgrading, not
00:29:50.620
changing, not basically thinning and cleaning out your closet. And that I guess would, would sort of
00:29:57.640
dovetail into another big point is that if you've got clothes in your wardrobe or in your closet that
00:30:03.860
you haven't worn in 12 months, you can get rid of it and you need to get rid of it in order to
00:30:09.060
operate your wardrobe effectively and efficiently. How many guys have a packed closet or their drawers
00:30:16.060
are overflowing with old t-shirts and ratty jeans that they'll never wear. They haven't worn in 12
00:30:21.780
months. Um, you got to clean it up, clean it out so that you can really take a, take an inventory and
00:30:28.620
take stock of what you have and then utilize those clothing, that clothing effectively.
00:30:33.920
Makes sense. How do you, cause I know what a lot of guys are thinking at this point and they're
00:30:37.780
probably saying to themselves, well, yeah, if I had unlimited resources or financial means necessary
00:30:42.940
to do this, I could change my entire wardrobe and I'd look amazing and I'd get the women and get the
00:30:47.200
job promotion. I just did the reality. I just did a video. Okay. $20 and a thrift store. And I had
00:30:54.360
three amazing outfits. No, absolutely. And so no, you don't need to spend a lot of money. It's about
00:31:00.740
being smart when you're shopping. It's about being selective, you know, invest in one piece and then
00:31:06.240
maybe next month, you know, save $50 and invest in another, always hit the discount racks, um, online
00:31:12.740
stores. If you sign up for mailing lists, you're going to get big time coupons and discounts. There are
00:31:17.500
ways that you can upgrade your wardrobe systematically piece by piece and do it without spending a ton
00:31:24.340
of cash. Um, I think a lot of guys are under the misconception that a wardrobe is bought. It's
00:31:29.380
not bought. It's built systematically upgrading pieces that need it when they need it. And you're
00:31:35.900
going to be fine. And you don't have to spend hundreds or thousands of dollars to do that.
00:31:39.860
What do you, what, what about, uh, presenting yourself outside of the wardrobe? So how do you
00:31:45.200
develop a communication style? How do you, cause you know, the guy, when he walks into the room and you
00:31:50.360
say, man, that guy's got it. He takes, he obviously has a presence. He commands attention. What does
00:31:56.080
that guy have that some men have yet to have found? See, and that's the interesting thing. When you see
00:32:01.200
a guy like that, you can't necessarily put your finger on one specific thing or another. It's the
00:32:07.440
collective whole of everything he's doing right. And so maybe he's paid attention to his style. His
00:32:13.300
clothes are fitting him well, his grooming, he shaved, he fixed his hair, you know, he took care of his
00:32:19.580
nose hair and he communicates with confidence. It's about posture. It's about eye contact. When you
00:32:25.800
walk, you walk with purpose. You have your hands out of your pocket. It's, it's all of the confident
00:32:32.040
nonverbal communicating that we do that is going to set the person apart from the guy who slouches
00:32:37.800
hands in his pocket, sort of mumbles when he talks. It's about putting it all together piece by piece
00:32:43.640
and ultimately and eventually you'll be amazed at just the power that you possess and your
00:32:50.540
communication and your presence. How did you figure all this stuff out? Is this trial and error? Is
00:32:55.820
there somebody or resources that you're going to? No, it's, it's trial and error, man. I am a,
00:33:00.240
I am a student of, of observation. And so through my work with, with YouTube, um, you know, it's forced
00:33:08.540
me to, and, and being an image consultant for a long time, I was an image consultant. And so guys
00:33:13.540
would travel from around the country and they would want me to help them upgrade their style,
00:33:19.440
maybe, you know, get them ready for a dating profile because they're recently divorced and
00:33:23.980
they just didn't know where to start. And so over the course of the past, I don't know, say I, I,
00:33:29.820
I consider it my life actually, because I grew up, um, you know, my, my parents were divorced and I,
00:33:35.820
my mom stuck me in therapy at like the age of three. And so I've just, I've sort of conditioned
00:33:41.980
myself to be very aware. And so it's, it's just something that I, that I just focus on and, and
00:33:48.600
it's, I don't know, it's just trial and error to be honest, I guess, and just being and paying
00:33:54.100
attention to people that are doing it right and people that are doing it wrong and, and figuring
00:33:59.300
out how and what that magical formula is in order to present the best possible confident
00:34:07.140
So is there a time in your life where you just completely missed the boat or missed the mark
00:34:12.460
Missed the mark. Uh, man, I missed the mark at least once a day on something.
00:34:17.940
I can't identify a specific, um, you know, I, I've had failures. I mean, I've had, I, I'm an
00:34:24.840
entrepreneur, so I've had business failures. I've had some successes. Um, you know, it's,
00:34:30.440
but as an entrepreneur, one of the, I don't have the luxury of being down on myself too
00:34:36.040
long. You got to get up, you got to figure it out and you got to move forward. Um, you
00:34:41.180
know, just, I guess they're just different times that, that looking back, I don't know
00:34:45.940
that I would change anything, but I definitely know that I wasn't my best.
00:34:50.280
Yeah. Well, Aaron, we're winding down on time today. I want to ask you a couple of other
00:34:53.860
questions. One I prepared you for a little bit here, and that is what does it mean to be a
00:34:58.340
man? Yeah, but see, I didn't get time to prepare. I know what it means to be a man is a man in
00:35:05.620
today's world, um, brings value. He brings value to those people he interacts with. He
00:35:12.120
brings value to the world around him. He does his best in order to lift people up. He does
00:35:17.960
his best to respect people around him. And, and in return, he, he, he requires respect and,
00:35:25.900
um, he, he just does his best. He understands that he is fallible. He's not perfect. And he
00:35:31.320
doesn't claim to be, um, he's a Renaissance man who is, is good at a lot of things, or he
00:35:37.900
tries to be good at certain things that they should say. And he's in touch with his, his,
00:35:42.980
his, his soul. He's not afraid to, to show emotion and, and to let people know, you know,
00:35:48.960
when, when things hurt and, and when things make him feel good.
00:35:52.260
What is the value that you feel like you provided the world?
00:35:56.320
Me, I, I, everything I do when I get up in the morning and the content that I create
00:36:01.860
is to help people feel better about themselves in whatever way that, that ends up being. And so
00:36:08.520
I get amazing emails. I get amazing calls. I just, I, I get people that, that tell me that I've helped
00:36:16.020
them in, I mean, countless facets of their life. And so my value, I was put on this earth to help
00:36:23.440
other people feel better about themselves. So that's it.
00:36:26.320
I love it, man. Well, what's next? What's, uh, up and coming for you that we need to know about,
00:36:30.120
you know, keep your eye out for me. You never know when I'll, when I'll be appearing on,
00:36:34.620
on, on another TV show or guest appearance on something. Um, I'm also getting ready to, uh,
00:36:41.320
launch a new line of, uh, men's skincare products. And so that's a lot of fun. I, I partnered up with
00:36:48.460
two really smart, smart guys and, and we're starting some, some fun businesses. And so
00:36:53.880
just, uh, yeah, who knows? We'll see. 2016 knock on wood should be a good year.
00:36:59.900
All right. We're keeping our eye on you. And then Aaron, last thing, how can we connect with
00:37:03.580
you? If you guys listen to this and says, man, this guy seems to have things figured out. I
00:37:07.140
want to know more. Where do we go to YouTube, search alpha M or, uh, just search alpha M or
00:37:13.380
Aaron Marino and Google, and you will very easily find me. Yes. I posted a lot of content. So I'm there.
00:37:19.340
You have, and I love your videos, man. So, so guys, I can attest to his videos. You'll learn a ton
00:37:24.480
and you'll be entertained. I can promise you that. Ryan, thanks so much for having me. This has been a blast.
00:37:29.900
Hey, I appreciate you. You shared some stories with me in the past that, uh, have been helpful
00:37:34.800
for me. And I really appreciate your help as I've grown order of man. Thanks for being on today.
00:37:38.280
You bet, brother. Talk to you soon. There you have it guys. Mr. Aaron Marino talking about style
00:37:42.620
and confidence. We mentioned men's style con. I hope that you can join us. If you're interested
00:37:46.860
in the details, head to order of man.com slash men's style con order of man.com slash men's style
00:37:54.040
con. You will not be sorry. I promise you will not be sorry that you attend. I can guarantee
00:37:59.580
that. Keep in mind also our elite mastermind iron council. You will want to be part of that.
00:38:03.800
If you're ready to take your life to the next level, build some solid relationships with other
00:38:07.360
men and have some more accountability in your life. And we're going to help you achieve your
00:38:11.160
goals and what it is you want from life. And remember last thing, our weekly giveaway from
00:38:15.280
our friends over at Seneca Creek, head to order of man.com slash Seneca Creek giveaway three to enter.
00:38:20.700
Now, keep in mind that this is going to be a weekly giveaway. So stay tuned. Make sure you
00:38:24.780
enter all of those for your chance to win guys. I look forward to talking with you next week,
00:38:28.560
but until then take action and become the man you were meant to be.
00:38:32.120
Thank you for listening to the order of man podcast. You're ready to take charge of your life
00:38:36.720
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