Order of Man - February 09, 2016


OoM 047： The Dating Playbook for Men with Andrew Ferebee


Episode Stats

Length

40 minutes

Words per Minute

218.93219

Word Count

8,875

Sentence Count

620

Misogynist Sentences

20

Hate Speech Sentences

21


Summary

Whether you re single, dating or have been married for years, dating and attracting women is a critical skill all of us need to develop. My guest today, Andrew Farabee, talks with us about how to develop strength and confidence in ourselves, approach women naturally, and how to improve your dating game.


Transcript

00:00:00.000 Whether you're single, dating, or been married for years, dating and attracting women is a critical skill all of us need to develop.
00:00:06.360 My guest today, Andrew Farabee, talks with us about how to develop strength and confidence in ourselves,
00:00:10.640 approach women naturally, and how to improve your dating game.
00:00:14.260 You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest.
00:00:17.120 Embrace your fears and boldly chart your own path.
00:00:20.040 When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time, every time.
00:00:24.480 You are not easily deterred or defeated, rugged, resilient, strong.
00:00:29.100 This is your life. This is who you are.
00:00:32.160 This is who you will become at the end of the day.
00:00:35.020 And after all is said and done, you can call yourself a man.
00:00:39.320 What's up, men? My name is Ryan Michler. I am the founder of Order of Man.
00:00:42.820 Now, if you're new to the podcast today, we talk about all things manly here.
00:00:46.220 Leadership, self-mastery, relationships, wealth, business, health, you name it.
00:00:49.980 If it's important to you as a man, it is important to us.
00:00:53.340 Today, we will be talking about improving our dating game.
00:00:56.460 And this is not just for the single guys out there.
00:00:58.860 It is for us married men too. More on that in a minute.
00:01:02.240 Now, a lot of you have asked me about personal coaching.
00:01:04.780 I get texts, emails, messages every day from men who want relationship advice,
00:01:09.460 confidence advice, money advice, etc.
00:01:11.680 I am going to be offering some coaching in the near future.
00:01:14.420 But for now, you need to join our elite mastermind, the Iron Council.
00:01:18.840 Now, this is a great way to get access to not only me,
00:01:21.320 but other men who are building businesses, developing their relationships,
00:01:24.720 building more wealth in their life, and again, everything that is important to you as a man.
00:01:29.400 You will have an accountability partner, gain access to our virtual sessions, our resource center,
00:01:33.820 and you'll also be participating in our daily and weekly challenges,
00:01:37.180 all designed to test and stretch you as a man.
00:01:40.140 Go to orderofman.com slash Iron Council for the details.
00:01:43.280 Also, keep in mind, our friends over at Seneca Creek were doing a giveaway.
00:01:47.700 Congrats to the winner last week, which was the Squid Knife by CRKT.
00:01:51.340 This week, we're giving away the Seneca Creek Wool Baseball Cap.
00:01:54.620 And if you're interested in that, you can head to orderofman.com slash Seneca Creek Giveaway 7.
00:02:02.420 Now, let's get into the show today.
00:02:04.200 Remember, you can find all the links, the resources, everything you need at orderofman.com slash 047.
00:02:09.660 And of course, you can join in the conversation we're having with over 2,100 men now
00:02:14.400 on our Facebook group at facebook.com slash groups slash orderofman.
00:02:19.040 My guest today is the founder of Knowledge for Men and also the Knowledge for Men podcast,
00:02:24.100 which has over 2 million downloads, probably more by now, Mr. Andrew Faraby.
00:02:29.540 Andrew has interviewed over 200 what I would call all-stars, including Bob Proctor, Gary Vaynerchuk,
00:02:35.200 T. Harv Eker, Kevin Harrington, and a ton more.
00:02:37.940 He also speaks to college and high school students in the San Diego area on career and
00:02:42.200 chasing passion.
00:02:43.460 And in addition to that, he hosts men's retreats in California, where he helps men get more
00:02:47.620 out of their lives by teaching about personal development, success, entrepreneurship, relationship,
00:02:51.980 philosophy, and human psychology.
00:02:54.460 All right, Andrew, thanks for joining us.
00:02:55.740 I'm glad you're here, man.
00:02:56.540 Glad to be here as well.
00:02:57.760 So I'm excited about our conversation because what we're going to talk about dating women,
00:03:02.040 finding women, courting women, all of that fun stuff.
00:03:04.380 Sounds good.
00:03:05.140 Let's do it.
00:03:05.740 You're the expert, so we're going to chat about that.
00:03:09.320 So you've got a new book, The Dating Playbook for Men.
00:03:11.800 Tell me a little bit about why you decided to write that book and your background as well.
00:03:15.880 Yep.
00:03:16.340 So The Dating Playbook for Men is a culmination of eight years of working on my dating life,
00:03:22.000 going from being single, always being broken up, friend-zoned by women that I really wanted
00:03:26.440 to be with, and just always struggling with women all throughout my life, and watching
00:03:31.180 all of my friends in great relationships, or just dating women, and for some reason, I
00:03:36.040 just couldn't seem to attract women, or be able to date women, or get the women that I
00:03:40.240 really wanted.
00:03:40.980 I was settling in relationships that didn't fulfill me.
00:03:44.700 Honestly, I didn't write the book because I'm trying to become some pickup artist or some
00:03:52.380 dating coach.
00:03:53.020 I have no intention of doing that, but I was doing this for myself, and so I was journaling
00:03:58.360 my experiences with what was working, what wasn't working for almost eight years or so.
00:04:02.720 And the book is just my journal, and I wrote it in a way where it makes sense, and obviously
00:04:08.060 I formatted it and turned it into chapters, but the book is just my journal of going through
00:04:14.420 it.
00:04:14.640 So anyone who is currently single or could relate with kind of that story of just being
00:04:19.140 friend-zoned and not being able to get the woman they wanted, feeling like all of these
00:04:22.380 things are holding them back, such as their looks, their height, whether or not they're
00:04:25.960 financially successful, or their body if they're not in shape, and all of these things,
00:04:31.000 I could relate with all of that, and I wrote the dating playbook because I felt that I had
00:04:36.440 to.
00:04:37.000 I felt that there was too much garbage out there with the books that I was reading or
00:04:40.640 with what I was seeing on YouTube and what was out there, and this is an action-oriented,
00:04:45.460 results-oriented approach to getting the women that you want in your life.
00:04:51.080 It's not so much about mindset as it is about being able to go out and get results.
00:04:57.420 That's what matters.
00:04:58.480 You want to be able to put the book down and get results, not put the book down and
00:05:02.600 just have more information in your head.
00:05:04.720 Right.
00:05:04.960 Yeah, it's all about taking action.
00:05:06.660 So tell me why we hear pickup artists a lot, and it's always with that kind of that weird
00:05:11.440 tone of voice or the roll of the eyes.
00:05:13.240 Tell me a little bit about why there's such a bad rap, because I know that you've probably
00:05:17.560 gotten a little bit when people say, oh, dating playbook.
00:05:19.780 They think that.
00:05:20.440 They probably immediately go to that.
00:05:22.380 Oh, it's a pickup book, right?
00:05:23.580 Exactly.
00:05:24.120 Yeah.
00:05:24.360 So tell me why that gets such a bad rap.
00:05:27.240 Tell me about some of the feedback that you're getting and how this might be different.
00:05:30.040 Yeah, I think it gets a bad rap because people don't like pickup because it's about tricks
00:05:34.140 and techniques and gimmicks, and it's a short-term little boost of instant gratification that
00:05:38.180 doesn't get you long-term results.
00:05:40.100 And I think just the general opinion of a pickup artist is negative because we think of just
00:05:44.160 kind of like the early pickup artist guys wearing weird hats and just wearing makeup and
00:05:49.440 all this like, just like you couldn't relate to that kind of stuff.
00:05:52.120 It's like, no, I want to be just an authentic version of myself.
00:05:56.280 And I just need to be able to overcome that approach anxiety to meet women.
00:06:00.240 And once I do that and how to have that conversation and the stimulating and meaningful conversation
00:06:04.600 to make that connection from there, getting the phone number and being able to either text
00:06:08.760 or call and have a good conversation or be able to navigate that conversation into turning
00:06:14.180 into a date.
00:06:14.860 And then how to play that dating game so that you don't fall into being needy or clingy or
00:06:19.720 falling into that jealous type of vibe, which will often lead you into being into the friend
00:06:24.060 zone and then getting into a relationship and then walking guys through the steps of what
00:06:27.780 makes a healthy relationship.
00:06:29.620 And then if it doesn't work out, then I also help guys or I recently came out with a book
00:06:33.860 called The Breakup Manual for Men.
00:06:35.660 I'm just pumping out books, I guess, you know, and just helping guys overcome that breakup because
00:06:41.140 in my opinion, you know, if a man doesn't overcome a very serious breakup, like there are breakups
00:06:46.500 that we have where it's like, oh, damn, you know, this sucks.
00:06:48.580 But then a serious breakup that lasted several years where your families were integrated, where
00:06:53.200 the possibility of marriage was in the picture and losing that woman and not having ever overcome
00:06:59.480 that and moved on from that and I say get complete with that breakup.
00:07:04.860 I believe men can be chasing a woman who reminds them of their ex-girlfriend for the rest of their
00:07:09.980 lives and they might even end up with another woman and have a family, but really they're
00:07:14.760 chasing that ex-girlfriend.
00:07:16.620 So I just kind of went through this whole starting from approaching anxiety all the way to breakups.
00:07:22.780 But yeah, I mean, I can go into some reasons why I believe men are single.
00:07:26.840 This is, I think it gives a good, it's how I start off the book and it's kind of gives a
00:07:30.760 good, you got to understand where you're at.
00:07:33.020 I was once talking to a guy or I just wrapped up a men's retreat and one of the guys was saying,
00:07:38.260 yeah, like I really just want to be dating multiple women and having those experiences.
00:07:42.380 And I asked him, do you believe right now in this current state that you are capable of
00:07:47.000 dating multiple women?
00:07:48.420 And he said, no.
00:07:49.940 And I said, okay, if you don't believe that, then it's not going to happen.
00:07:54.040 You can, you, you can want that.
00:07:55.720 It's great.
00:07:56.520 There's no mindset tricks that you can do.
00:07:59.060 There's, there's mindset stuff that can help you believe that you can do it, but, but none,
00:08:02.820 we can't do like NLP.
00:08:04.740 We can't do these tricks to your mind to make you believe that you're going to go out and
00:08:08.380 date multiple women.
00:08:09.560 Right, right.
00:08:10.140 You've got to back it up with proof.
00:08:11.740 You got to back it up with results.
00:08:13.440 So first we want to, we got to understand where you're, where are you at?
00:08:16.140 Where are you at currently?
00:08:17.440 And so I asked the man, like, where are you at in this stage of dating relationships?
00:08:22.320 Are you dating an aggro right now?
00:08:24.900 No.
00:08:25.220 Okay.
00:08:25.880 Are you going out consistently?
00:08:27.860 No.
00:08:28.320 Okay.
00:08:28.760 Are you, are you going out at all?
00:08:30.460 Not really.
00:08:31.140 What does not really mean?
00:08:32.240 Um, like once a month.
00:08:33.900 Okay.
00:08:34.240 So you're going out once a month.
00:08:35.680 When you do go out, are you talking to women when you go out?
00:08:39.160 Not really.
00:08:39.960 Okay.
00:08:40.300 So you're going out, but you're not talking to women.
00:08:42.620 Why are you not talking to women?
00:08:44.520 I, I see women that I like, but I can't approach them.
00:08:48.000 Okay.
00:08:48.620 Why can you not approach the women?
00:08:50.340 I get scared and I get a lot of anxiety and okay, that's where we're at.
00:08:54.680 So he wanted to be dating multiple women and I like to, I, I, we got to identify where you're
00:09:01.040 at.
00:09:01.340 So I just walk them through the steps backwards and he's getting started with, I, I can't
00:09:07.280 approach women.
00:09:07.980 I have approach anxiety.
00:09:10.480 And you think that's the number one reason guys struggle with dating and with women in
00:09:14.680 general?
00:09:15.020 No, no, no.
00:09:15.460 That's definitely not the number one reason, but it is a reason why, um, some guys just
00:09:20.680 won't.
00:09:21.500 Uh, I look at, let's think of it like business.
00:09:23.420 I mean, when I use these terms, some men can just like, okay, get it.
00:09:26.720 Like the analogies go clear.
00:09:28.040 So if you have an amazing blog or, or, uh, a website and you're selling an amazing product,
00:09:34.300 but you have zero traffic coming to your website and nothing happens, nothing happens.
00:09:40.780 So what we need to do is get traffic, whatever, whatever that is.
00:09:43.220 If it's online, it's organically or you're paying for traffic, but men, we need, you can
00:09:47.480 be an awesome guy.
00:09:48.160 Like you could be working on your business.
00:09:49.560 You can be financially doing well or improving your, you're like on the path.
00:09:53.360 You're improving.
00:09:54.060 There's, there's, as long as you're improving, like there's, you're okay.
00:09:57.260 You have momentum or you're going to the gym.
00:09:59.220 You're improving your body.
00:10:00.060 That's like, great.
00:10:00.700 Like you're doing all these great things for yourself.
00:10:02.560 You have, you have friends, you have a fun social life and you're like, why am I not,
00:10:05.760 why am I single?
00:10:06.340 I don't get it.
00:10:07.280 If the man has no traffic, like meaning he's not going out and meeting women, there's like
00:10:11.500 no women coming into his life.
00:10:13.580 He's either not going out or being introduced to women or he's not, he's not doing online dating.
00:10:17.500 He's not actually putting himself out there.
00:10:19.260 He's not, uh, even approaching girls when he sees them at the grocery store, at the
00:10:22.660 coffee shop, at the gym, then he has zero traffic.
00:10:24.880 So he might be a great product, but he's got zero traffic.
00:10:28.320 So yeah.
00:10:29.380 So, you know, approach anxiety is probably, um, a big reason why a lot of guys are struggling
00:10:33.840 in their dating life.
00:10:34.580 If they would just talk to, or guys will say, I don't have time.
00:10:38.580 That's, um, yeah, I don't have time.
00:10:40.080 Like I'm busy.
00:10:40.780 I'm working.
00:10:41.140 I'm, I got to go to the gym.
00:10:42.100 I got, you know, I'm working 10 hours.
00:10:43.540 I got all these responsibilities and I just say, how long does it take to have a conversation
00:10:49.840 with a girl?
00:10:50.860 Right.
00:10:51.360 How, how long would you think, Ryan?
00:10:53.580 Uh, well, yeah, I mean, it could take a couple of minutes or it could take, I guess, two hours
00:10:57.240 depending on how the conversation goes.
00:10:59.200 Yeah.
00:10:59.640 For the most part, it could be about three minutes before you're at a coffee shop.
00:11:04.840 Like for the most part, it's, it could be just about three minutes and that could be
00:11:08.860 enough to get the phone number.
00:11:09.960 Like you can get a girl's phone number in like 30 seconds, a minute, and the longer,
00:11:13.880 the better.
00:11:14.420 Typically the longer conversation you have, the better, more reliable that phone number
00:11:17.860 is going to be.
00:11:18.600 But if it takes three minutes, three minutes out of your day, like you don't have, so you
00:11:23.460 don't have three minutes out of your day to talk to one girl, one girl a day, you know,
00:11:27.500 one, as you're going about your day, that's, that's 30 girls a month.
00:11:31.860 That's, I believe 360 girls a year.
00:11:34.880 That's a lot of girls.
00:11:36.600 And so that's what I'm saying by getting some traffic, getting some flow.
00:11:39.960 Flow of women coming into your life.
00:11:41.880 Is it just a matter of, so I've been out of this game for literally 13 years, which sounds
00:11:46.480 like so long now that I say that.
00:11:49.200 Is it just a matter of being conscious and just saying, Hey, I've got to be conscious.
00:11:53.800 I've got to be aware.
00:11:55.040 Finding a woman is a priority in my life.
00:11:57.040 Like what is it that's going to transition from either the excuse of I don't have time
00:12:01.580 or I'm a little nervous about it to, Hey, let's be conscious about finding a companion.
00:12:05.480 Okay.
00:12:06.060 Well, let me give a scenario here.
00:12:07.500 And, uh, I want to get leverage on the guy.
00:12:10.360 If I'm working with him coaching, I'll just pretend like I'm coaching some of your audience
00:12:13.680 members.
00:12:14.060 I'm going to say, no, it's awesome.
00:12:16.240 Imagine watching porn and masturbating for the next 10 years and still being single.
00:12:20.920 10 years, 10 years from now, you're single and surfing through social media, looking at
00:12:24.980 everyone, you know, who's married, happy and with children.
00:12:28.620 Imagine being invited to weddings and other social gatherings with friends and family,
00:12:33.240 and you never have anyone to bring with you.
00:12:35.400 Imagine going to bed alone at night for the next 50 years.
00:12:39.440 Imagine both of your parents had died and they never got to experience grandchildren because
00:12:44.740 of you.
00:12:45.720 All of the above are very realistic scenarios for men.
00:12:48.900 This can, this can happen.
00:12:50.180 This, this is a possibility.
00:12:52.280 It's, it doesn't have to happen.
00:12:53.400 But what I want to do is you have to link more pain to being single or settling in a
00:12:58.420 relationship than to the pleasure of staying complacent with where you are now and stop
00:13:03.180 pretending that things will just get better with time.
00:13:05.700 Stop hoping that the right woman will simply just come into your life and just fall madly
00:13:11.660 in love with you.
00:13:12.160 And everything's going to work out.
00:13:13.660 Um, if you just keep doing the same thing that you're doing, it's like Albert Einstein
00:13:17.480 said, insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different
00:13:21.440 result.
00:13:22.280 So I work with guys.
00:13:24.160 I mean, this is your life.
00:13:25.480 You only got one shot at it.
00:13:27.040 So why not take a proactive approach to becoming the most powerful version of yourself and also
00:13:32.600 getting into the relationship with the woman of your dreams?
00:13:36.160 So, yeah, we become, I mean, we become so complacent, right?
00:13:39.400 I mean, anything, it's not just dating, but it's in business and it's in life and it's
00:13:42.620 in our physical fitness and it's all of these things and it's, and we become so complacent.
00:13:45.960 So I really liked the fact that you said, um, that, you know, the pain of, of the,
00:13:50.160 the status quo has got to be greater than the struggle of going out and trying to approach
00:13:55.480 a woman and having some of these conversations.
00:13:57.360 Right.
00:13:58.100 And it sounds like what you're talking about is more of, as opposed to the short game,
00:14:02.400 which is the pickup game, right?
00:14:03.440 You're talking more about the long game.
00:14:04.900 It sounds like in your book and some of the things that you discuss and coach with your
00:14:07.800 clients.
00:14:08.420 Yes.
00:14:08.800 Yes.
00:14:09.100 I'm all for finding the one woman of your dreams, but I do believe in order to do that,
00:14:13.680 you're going to have to date multiple.
00:14:15.720 You're going to have to date a few girls.
00:14:17.540 Like, it's not just like getting that one girl and then it's over, but I believe it's
00:14:20.900 very, even if you find an awesome girl, um, I would encourage you to continue dating, um,
00:14:26.080 and, and really understanding what it is that you want.
00:14:28.340 The more you date, the more that you learn about women and the more that you learn about
00:14:31.500 yourself.
00:14:31.920 And you also going through breakups is healthy for a man really helps you understand.
00:14:35.600 Uh, breakups can be really a massive, massive point in a man's life for self-discovery.
00:14:41.820 And so all of these things are really healthy for the man, uh, when viewed in this way.
00:14:46.300 So dating multiple women gives you that abundance.
00:14:49.000 It's like, you know, how to handle situations in the dating space.
00:14:53.200 And, and also, uh, you're not so reliant on, on this one woman, you know, that you're
00:14:57.940 capable of going out and meeting new women and being able to date them.
00:15:02.120 You're not feeling like this is the only woman in the world who likes me.
00:15:06.080 Well, I want to go back.
00:15:06.760 Cause you talked about you going through a lot of this experience and you being comfortable.
00:15:10.420 So tell me from your vantage point now, looking back at it now, what is it that you really
00:15:15.960 struggled with personally?
00:15:16.920 And then how did you decide or make that transition to start overcoming some of these
00:15:20.200 struggles or issues that you're having with approaching women?
00:15:22.460 I think a lot of it comes down to just, uh, that flow of traffic.
00:15:26.240 I think a lot of guys at this point in their life, like they actually are ready to like,
00:15:30.660 if they were having a, if I introduced you to a girl, like you would probably be able to
00:15:34.060 have a good conversation and probably be able to escalate from there.
00:15:37.180 Um, so most guys fall into that category.
00:15:39.720 Let me go through some categories here.
00:15:41.540 Uh, I was, I was actually all of these at one point in my life and I, I'm sure I was
00:15:45.940 too.
00:15:46.160 I don't even know what they are, but I'm sure I fall into them.
00:15:48.180 And I, I believe, uh, these eight things are why you're single.
00:15:51.260 And I was all, all of them at one point and you kind of just go through them and learn
00:15:55.020 about them and then, uh, and then you're good.
00:15:57.340 And then you start dating more women and you have this under control and you just start moving
00:16:00.900 on into, uh, other areas of your life.
00:16:02.820 But the first one is, uh, you're, you're not a strong, confident man.
00:16:06.400 You're a boy inside of an adult body.
00:16:09.640 Number two, you don't understand women and female psychology.
00:16:12.700 Number three, you don't go out and meet new women regularly, consistently.
00:16:16.840 Number four, you don't know how to talk and flirt with women you're attracted to, such
00:16:20.860 as you can talk to, you know, most girls, but when you're actually attracted to them,
00:16:25.200 you kind of close, freeze up, freeze up, you close up and you, you hide who you are.
00:16:29.060 Number five, you don't know how to transition from meeting a woman into a first date.
00:16:34.300 Uh, number six, you don't understand how the dating process works.
00:16:37.500 Number seven, you don't know how to have a happy, respectful and loving relationship.
00:16:41.840 And number eight is you just ignore dating and relationships altogether and focus on
00:16:46.400 other aspects of your life.
00:16:48.100 Interesting.
00:16:48.660 Let's talk about that first one.
00:16:49.840 I think the first one you said was you're not a confident man.
00:16:52.720 Is that, is that right?
00:16:53.440 Did I get that right?
00:16:54.100 You're not a strong, confident man.
00:16:55.940 So tell me a little bit about that.
00:16:57.580 I mean, how does somebody identify that?
00:17:00.300 How does somebody become more confident when it comes to approaching women so they can actually
00:17:04.560 start this, this snowball or start this chain of events to get them in the position they
00:17:08.000 want to be in?
00:17:08.480 Well, I would want a man not to be strong and confident, not for women, but for himself
00:17:12.700 and to really focus on himself up here.
00:17:15.540 When he, when you, you, you, you want to be strong and confident to, to everyone.
00:17:18.940 It's not like, Oh, only when I'm with women, I put on this front.
00:17:22.260 It's like, even with at work, even at, if you're with a, you're trying to order something
00:17:27.060 at a, at a restaurant from the waiter, from a bartender, like you, you want to be strong,
00:17:31.240 confident man just in your life in general.
00:17:33.320 And, and coming from having this kind of foundation set, um, allows for more opportunity
00:17:39.480 with women just in general, a strong, confident man.
00:17:42.920 I'll start with purpose, a man who has purpose, a man, I call him the grounded man, someone
00:17:49.020 who is moving in a direction that he wants to go.
00:17:53.960 He's not being, he's, he's a rock, he's a mountain, he's setting sail in a direction
00:17:58.660 that he wants to go in life.
00:18:00.360 And he's moving in that direction.
00:18:02.780 He's, he's a ship setting sail and he's not just, he, he, he has a GPS to where he's
00:18:08.120 going.
00:18:08.620 He's not just driving a car, just aimlessly hoping that he ends up at the destination that
00:18:12.760 he wants.
00:18:13.340 So he knows what he wants and he's moving in that direction.
00:18:16.300 And it's so key that not to just know what you want, um, but that you're moving in the
00:18:20.780 direction that you want to go in, meaning you're taking action, uh, versus being the
00:18:24.720 dreamer and just kind of the talker.
00:18:26.780 I call these people messengers.
00:18:28.840 They have a lot to say and, uh, they have no results.
00:18:32.240 So they, they read a lot.
00:18:33.600 Maybe they listen to podcasts, maybe they listen, they go to events.
00:18:36.660 And when you talk to them, you're like, wow, this guy's really going somewhere.
00:18:39.260 And then three years later, he's saying the same thing.
00:18:41.520 There's no results.
00:18:42.880 So let me ask you, is it that women can see that in you?
00:18:46.020 Is it that your behavior changes?
00:18:47.960 Like, what is it about that?
00:18:49.080 That helps just specifically to isolate your attractiveness to women?
00:18:53.740 Yeah.
00:18:53.960 Well, you're right.
00:18:54.780 Women can sense when a man is grounded.
00:18:56.720 What it, what it does ultimately is it removes neediness.
00:19:00.980 It removes clinginess and it removes that jealousy because you're going, you're going where you're
00:19:07.720 going and she's going to come along for the adventure.
00:19:10.620 If she doesn't want to come, she's not the right girl, but you're not going to switch
00:19:14.960 your, your path.
00:19:16.140 You're not going to change your sales and start shifting it for her.
00:19:19.500 You're going in on your path.
00:19:21.780 And if she wants to come, she will more often than not.
00:19:24.840 She will.
00:19:25.760 When you have, when you have this kind of going for you, but yeah, women can sense that.
00:19:29.040 And they want to know, although very, very, very, very few women will admit this, but
00:19:34.520 they, they want you to have a purpose and something higher than yourself and even them.
00:19:40.260 Why do you think that is?
00:19:41.100 Because it removes the neediness.
00:19:42.980 It removes the clinginess and you're, you're non, you're, you're not trying to like take
00:19:47.120 anything from her.
00:19:48.800 You're, you're just trying to give her you, like you're letting her come along for your
00:19:52.320 adventure.
00:19:52.820 So again, it removes neediness, clinginess, and jealousy.
00:19:55.720 Like removing these three things allows you to be a more of a value giving man.
00:20:01.560 What are some of the, so you, you experimented, you wrote this in kind of a journal format.
00:20:05.540 It's a book format, but it was a journal at one point.
00:20:08.660 But a journal initially, right?
00:20:09.920 Yeah.
00:20:10.160 Right.
00:20:10.840 So tell me about some of the experiences that you had as you were trying to figure out
00:20:15.800 what works, what doesn't work.
00:20:17.780 Is there something that stood out as an exceptional victory or an absolute flop that you can share
00:20:22.860 with us?
00:20:23.240 You know, like in my book, I give guys kind of some things you can get started with.
00:20:27.740 Like, like I can say like opening lines don't matter because they don't, but everyone still
00:20:32.660 wants to know, like, what do you say?
00:20:34.140 And so I'm like, all right, well, I'll just give you some basic things.
00:20:36.500 But ultimately it's to not be anyone else.
00:20:40.040 Like, let's say someone reads my book and I try to, you know, I don't want you to be me.
00:20:44.960 My goal is to help unleash you.
00:20:47.220 And so not to follow people on YouTube or read someone's book and just try and be that
00:20:52.260 person because you're like, oh, if I'm this person and he gets those results, then then
00:20:56.640 I'll get those same results.
00:20:58.220 It's not going to work.
00:20:59.320 Like you want to be you.
00:21:00.440 And so my, my book is about unleashing you, your most authentic, attractive, powerful
00:21:07.340 self as a man.
00:21:08.900 So much of this book will just apply into life.
00:21:11.600 It's more of a personal development book geared towards dating more than it is a dating book.
00:21:17.540 And this goes for men also in relationships because men will say, oh, I'm in a relationship.
00:21:22.640 I'm married.
00:21:23.060 Okay, cool.
00:21:23.540 Well, you're never supposed to stop dating your wife or your girlfriend.
00:21:25.920 You're supposed to always date her.
00:21:27.160 So this is the dating playbook.
00:21:28.960 Go read it.
00:21:30.460 Yeah, sure.
00:21:31.260 But it's to be yourself.
00:21:32.640 Like I think all too often guys, when they'll start out, they'll try and be someone else
00:21:36.180 because they don't like themselves because themselves in the past have not gotten the
00:21:40.200 results that they've wanted.
00:21:41.240 So they're going to be someone else and it's going to lead you down a path where it's like,
00:21:45.940 yeah, you might get some results, but you're going to have this like internal conflict,
00:21:49.240 internal battle with yourself where you're like, well, who am I?
00:21:52.380 And that's a, that's a kind of a scary place to be when you don't know who you are
00:21:55.840 and you're not valuing yourself.
00:21:57.420 You're, you're living your life through someone else.
00:22:00.140 How are you seeing your coaching clients do some of this?
00:22:03.400 Like how are they finding themselves so that they can then share themselves with, with the
00:22:08.200 world and with the women they want to be around?
00:22:09.840 Yeah.
00:22:10.100 Well, I, I, I depends on where the guy's at.
00:22:13.220 Like I can kind of gauge where he's at just from talking to him, but we'll go through a
00:22:17.200 self-discovery process.
00:22:18.200 It's a, it's important to just kind of work on yourself as a man first and always know
00:22:23.600 what it is that you want, what it is that you value as a man in your life.
00:22:27.800 And from there building on that foundation.
00:22:30.360 So this will help you to understand which women you like.
00:22:33.740 If you don't really know much about yourself and know what you like, then you're kind of
00:22:37.020 just looking for, you're thinking with your penis.
00:22:38.640 Like you're just like, whatever woman looks attractive, I want to.
00:22:41.340 Right.
00:22:41.680 And you want to be selective.
00:22:42.820 You want to be able to talk to a girl who's attractive and if you notice or identify qualities
00:22:48.520 that are against yours or yourself, or just in general, you should be able to walk away
00:22:53.900 from that, even if she's extremely attractive and wants you.
00:22:56.920 And that's a powerful feeling to know that you're flipping the script and it's not about
00:23:01.140 like, Oh, can I get her?
00:23:02.580 It's, do I want her?
00:23:04.040 Do you have some of those?
00:23:04.920 So share with us some of those opening lines that you said you're like, it's not about the
00:23:07.960 opening line, but you said you had a couple that, that, that people could start
00:23:10.980 with.
00:23:11.160 I'm really curious as to what those are.
00:23:12.520 Oh my God.
00:23:13.680 Yeah.
00:23:13.880 I mean, it really, it really doesn't matter.
00:23:15.880 So, I mean, they're not anything special, but it's just, hi, I'm Andrew.
00:23:19.440 It's hi, insert your name.
00:23:20.840 Hi, I noticed you were doing X, Y, and Z.
00:23:22.980 What is she doing?
00:23:24.260 Hey, I see that you're over here doing this.
00:23:26.720 Saying hi, kind of like just this compliment and then inserting what's happening in that
00:23:31.280 moment.
00:23:31.700 So I live on the beach.
00:23:32.880 So it's, it's an easy thing to do is just a girl's laying out.
00:23:35.820 She's like listening to music.
00:23:36.860 I'll just stop.
00:23:37.600 I'll wave.
00:23:38.240 She, she, she like gets up and then like takes off her headphones and I'm just like,
00:23:42.380 Hey, I noticed you're laying out here.
00:23:44.100 Hi, I'm Andrew.
00:23:44.860 What's going on?
00:23:45.840 So basically just, just simple.
00:23:47.620 Yeah.
00:23:47.820 You're just stating the present moment.
00:23:49.280 So she can't disagree with that.
00:23:51.200 And then you're just introducing yourself.
00:23:53.060 And so that's, that's not anything special, but that's what works.
00:23:57.760 Like the opener doesn't dictate whether or not you're going to get into a relationship
00:24:01.580 at all.
00:24:02.120 It's just, uh, the opener just gets you, gets you in.
00:24:04.640 So your opener should just be something that's happening in the present moment.
00:24:07.780 And that makes the most sense.
00:24:10.160 Right.
00:24:10.320 And then from there, obviously your confidence and a lot of that stuff is going to come through
00:24:14.020 as well.
00:24:14.720 Yeah.
00:24:15.100 Yep.
00:24:15.320 If it's there and then you'll want to go into how, you know, how do you have this, uh,
00:24:19.460 a conversation, like, what do you do next?
00:24:21.200 Like I run out of things to say here.
00:24:23.100 Yeah.
00:24:23.380 So there's like stimulating conversation and then meaningful conversation.
00:24:28.040 So do you have some tips or pointers on, on where we could go from there?
00:24:31.140 Yeah, of course.
00:24:32.440 Um, let's, let's hear some of those things.
00:24:34.160 Yeah.
00:24:34.380 So you're probably wondering like, what's next?
00:24:36.340 You've approached the girl.
00:24:37.540 Um, you kind of, kind of have her interest a little bit and maybe.
00:24:41.160 Yeah.
00:24:41.340 Cause you don't want that.
00:24:42.180 You don't want that weird, awkward silence where you're just like both staring at the ground,
00:24:45.620 twiddling your thumbs or whatever.
00:24:46.680 That's, that's totally awkward.
00:24:47.880 Yeah.
00:24:48.160 Yeah, definitely.
00:24:48.920 Yeah.
00:24:49.080 Well, first of all, understanding that a conversation is two people.
00:24:53.380 It's not you just bombarding her with questions.
00:24:56.600 It's, I like to say it's about 80, 20 for the first two minutes.
00:25:00.080 So for the first two minutes, it's going to be you.
00:25:02.180 Yeah.
00:25:02.400 You approached her.
00:25:03.140 Like, what do you want?
00:25:03.720 Like, what are you doing?
00:25:04.460 So it's going to be about 80% you, uh, talking the majority of the time.
00:25:08.660 But I'll just say after about two minutes, it should balance out.
00:25:11.160 It should go 50, 50.
00:25:12.240 You shouldn't keep, keep the 80, 20.
00:25:14.700 Like just, it's like, Holy, like Jesus, like calm down.
00:25:17.640 Like, I don't even want this.
00:25:18.740 I'm trying to relax here.
00:25:19.820 And then I would say after about five minutes, it can start shifting to 20, 80, where she's
00:25:25.420 talking the majority of the time.
00:25:26.580 So allowing her the space.
00:25:28.420 A lot of guys just keep talking and they think like they have to impress the girl.
00:25:31.980 It's like, oh, impress her, impress her.
00:25:33.440 And she's laughing.
00:25:34.420 It's like, yes, bought myself another 10 seconds.
00:25:36.480 And it's not about that.
00:25:38.700 It's, it's, you know, you want to bounce between 50, 50 and 20, 80.
00:25:42.180 So it's like a dance.
00:25:43.740 Um, but that's, that's a critical part.
00:25:45.400 Like right there.
00:25:46.300 Like too many guys will just, it's just question, question, question, question.
00:25:50.580 And you want to get away from 21 questions.
00:25:54.160 I mean, it's interrogation at that point.
00:25:56.660 Imagine like a salesman knocking on your door and asking you question after question.
00:26:00.520 It's like every second with this person is just so painful and you just want out no matter
00:26:04.920 how rude you'll have to be to get away from this person.
00:26:06.940 So just slamming the door.
00:26:08.360 Um, and that's what it's like for a woman when she, when you barrage her with question
00:26:11.920 after question and you're not listening to what she's telling you.
00:26:16.020 It's like, you'll ask a question.
00:26:17.660 Like some guys be like, oh, I like, are you from around here?
00:26:20.120 Uh, yeah.
00:26:21.040 Oh, okay.
00:26:21.580 Like, well, what's your favorite movie?
00:26:22.980 It's like, what?
00:26:23.680 Like, it doesn't even make sense.
00:26:25.360 It's like from left field.
00:26:26.640 It's like, oh, are you from here?
00:26:28.340 Cool.
00:26:28.580 Did you go to school here?
00:26:29.440 Like what brought you here?
00:26:30.480 Like staying on that same topic and diving into that.
00:26:33.880 But I think how do you get out of the 21 questions?
00:26:36.800 First, you know, don't assume all women are just master social creatures.
00:26:41.020 A lot of, especially younger women, very attractive younger women aren't, in my opinion, socially
00:26:46.060 that good at talking to strangers.
00:26:47.720 Of course, with their friends, their family, it's fine.
00:26:49.840 But strangers, uh, they're used to guys chasing them and saying something stupid and talking
00:26:54.620 forever, you know?
00:26:55.500 So they really don't have a lot of experience being social with what I call the grounded man
00:27:00.080 who is allowing her to participate in the conversation.
00:27:03.240 And so, you know, kick the ball to her and she needs to kick it back.
00:27:07.760 It's supposed to be a give and take conversation, but most guys don't even give her the opportunity
00:27:12.340 to contribute in a conversation since they think they need to impress the girl with some
00:27:16.860 witty lines, like over and over and over again in order to win her over.
00:27:20.180 How do you practice outside of just talking with a woman?
00:27:24.640 Because obviously you're intimidated to do it in a lot of cases or maybe difficult.
00:27:27.960 And so are there some strategies you, uh, suggest for practicing that before you're
00:27:33.060 even approaching a woman in the first place?
00:27:34.780 Like practicing your social conversations?
00:27:37.480 Yeah.
00:27:37.680 I mean, is it just having conversations with girls, with guys and just figuring that out?
00:27:42.120 I mean, how do you get, how do you become proficient in this skill?
00:27:45.380 I guess you'd say.
00:27:46.220 First of all, the answer is just going to be more experience.
00:27:48.240 Like there's nothing that, uh, there's nothing that you're just going to read.
00:27:51.280 And it's like, boom, like, it's just, I'm a social master.
00:27:54.680 Right.
00:27:55.200 But, you know, I can break some things down into like some, some stuff that I have in
00:27:59.000 the book that kind of just makes, helps guys understand like what they should be saying
00:28:03.000 and just what's kind of weird.
00:28:04.800 So I say like, there's, here's how you can do this is like, uh, there's you interview
00:28:09.340 questions.
00:28:09.880 I'll break these down.
00:28:10.820 I'll give you examples.
00:28:11.640 There's you statements, there's I statements, and then there's like these we adventures.
00:28:15.480 So a, you question, you interview question is like, where are you from?
00:28:20.540 Do you live, do you live around here?
00:28:21.760 How old are you?
00:28:22.380 What are you studying?
00:28:23.140 Where do you work?
00:28:23.700 So most guys need to reduce these kind of you question marks, these you interview questions.
00:28:28.160 It's just that interview type of question, which are what most guys are often used to.
00:28:32.540 And, and they're good to use.
00:28:34.400 Of course, you got to get to know her, but firing them one after another over and over again,
00:28:38.300 uh, the woman obviously feels like she's being interrogated from a guy.
00:28:41.440 So you want to be able to balance this out with what I call you statements and being able
00:28:45.420 to say things like, yeah, you seem really adventurous.
00:28:48.160 Yeah.
00:28:48.280 You really came alive when you started talking about school.
00:28:50.880 You, you have this really good energy about you.
00:28:53.320 I'm just not sure what that is.
00:28:54.940 You have this really beautiful smile when I saw that you were surfing.
00:28:59.660 I don't know.
00:29:00.240 I'm, I'm thinking I'm on the beach.
00:29:01.460 I was just in the water, like 10 minutes before our phone call.
00:29:04.860 Uh, you seem very ambitious in life, like for girls telling you about her career instead
00:29:09.120 of just asking her questions, you're just like giving her a positive statement.
00:29:12.720 Like you seem really ambitious in life.
00:29:14.640 Um, right.
00:29:15.100 Just a matter of complimenting her, right?
00:29:16.680 Every now and then, not too much, but yeah, having, being able to just notice something
00:29:20.900 about her is often what women love hearing.
00:29:23.420 I'm noticing you're getting, you're like getting really excited.
00:29:26.220 Uh, when you're talking about X, Y, Z, I'm noticing that you're seeing, you seem a
00:29:31.140 little nervous right now.
00:29:32.160 I'm noticing that you're kind of holding back from the conversation.
00:29:34.920 So it doesn't have to be positive.
00:29:36.440 Uh, it could just be what you're experiencing from her, which is really authentic and honest.
00:29:40.980 And it's something that, you know, guys aren't doing is being honest and open and authentic
00:29:45.340 with women.
00:29:46.380 We're always trying to game it.
00:29:47.420 It seems like always trying to game it and not listening, like always just not listening.
00:29:52.180 Like if guys can just listen more, she's giving you everything that you need, but it's like
00:29:56.540 you're looking for something better.
00:29:58.080 It's like, no, I don't like that.
00:29:59.240 I don't like that.
00:29:59.720 And then by the time like you find something you like, it's like, it's like, all right, like,
00:30:04.020 oh, cool.
00:30:04.980 You found something that you just kept asking all these questions.
00:30:07.060 It's like, whatever she's giving you is the best thing that you need.
00:30:10.080 It's the best thing.
00:30:11.120 Whether, whether it's like, oh, I'm, I'm upset.
00:30:13.240 Like, oh, I'm, I lost my friends or whatever it is.
00:30:16.760 It's like, that's the calm.
00:30:17.840 That's the topic.
00:30:18.500 Like, that's the conversation.
00:30:19.560 Go in it.
00:30:20.280 Yeah.
00:30:20.460 Roll with it.
00:30:21.160 Yeah.
00:30:21.300 Make it happen there.
00:30:22.520 And there's also, um, I statements, which I, which I mentioned earlier.
00:30:25.980 So it's like sharing about yourself.
00:30:28.180 So I usually be like, instead of saying like, where are you from?
00:30:31.620 I'll be like, I'm from San Diego, you know, an I statement, which is going first.
00:30:35.480 Where are you from?
00:30:36.640 So because you shared first, she's more inclined to share too, because you're offering value
00:30:41.300 and then she's going to return.
00:30:42.800 So you're just saying something like, I like to, I like to salsa dance.
00:30:45.960 Like, do you like to go out and dance?
00:30:47.480 So you're just sharing something about you and then asking her a question.
00:30:50.700 I like to surf in the mornings.
00:30:51.880 I like to do yoga.
00:30:52.960 I went to the university of dah, dah, dah.
00:30:55.400 So these are good because you're sharing a bit about yourself, which prompts her to do
00:30:59.660 the same and always having the courage to go first kind of gives her some safety for
00:31:04.640 her to follow after you.
00:31:06.020 So you can, when she shares, she's investing more into the conversation.
00:31:10.180 And the more that she invests into the conversation, the more likely it is that she's going to want
00:31:14.540 to see you again or just, you know, exchange phone numbers.
00:31:17.740 So, and even when I say the word exchange phone numbers, I didn't say, can I have
00:31:22.900 your phone number?
00:31:23.600 It's let's exchange phone numbers because you're also giving something of value to
00:31:27.080 her, which is your phone number, which is, she has the opportunity to contact you too.
00:31:31.160 It's not, do I get her phone number?
00:31:33.460 It's let's exchange phone numbers.
00:31:35.360 So she's also getting something in return.
00:31:37.600 And that's some, that's a flip.
00:31:39.240 Like that's really understanding that you're offering value.
00:31:42.240 It's not that you're taking value, which is, you know, taking her phone number and she's
00:31:46.220 like, oh, she's like, who is this guy?
00:31:48.340 Right.
00:31:48.500 And now she's, she's out and you're ahead, right?
00:31:50.660 Right.
00:31:50.920 It's more like, oh yeah, let's exchange phone numbers.
00:31:53.440 It's the best way to ask for a phone number.
00:31:55.680 It's like, hey, like I really, I'm really enjoying this conversation, but I got to go,
00:31:59.500 you know, not just staying in there too long.
00:32:01.460 It's, but like, let's exchange phone numbers.
00:32:03.260 It's so casual.
00:32:04.380 And it's like, of course, it's like, it even, I, it works with men as well.
00:32:08.540 Like this is just, uh, you know, social skills.
00:32:11.160 Uh, but then I, I, I say like these wee adventures.
00:32:13.840 So these are kind of more fun, more exciting.
00:32:16.700 Um, and it creates that sense of togetherness.
00:32:19.140 So it's like, oh, like if it's some younger girl, this would probably be more inclined,
00:32:23.740 but it's like, oh, we should go to Las Vegas right now.
00:32:25.880 Like, oh, we should run away and totally just get married in Vegas.
00:32:28.500 We should go skinny dipping in the beach.
00:32:30.260 We should grab some drinks and go streaking.
00:32:31.800 So it's more just like we doing something fun.
00:32:34.620 You're obviously not going to do it.
00:32:36.420 It's like, it's a joke.
00:32:37.620 It's something potentially in the future, but you're planting the idea of you two doing
00:32:41.720 something fun later at another time, which kind of insinuates a perpetuating relationship.
00:32:47.160 I'm not saying this is like how you talk, but I'm breaking down, giving you some other
00:32:52.800 things such instead of just like asking questions with the girl.
00:32:56.420 How do you, how does a guy judge how the conversation is going?
00:33:00.040 Like, is this going well?
00:33:01.040 Am I flopping?
00:33:01.760 Is this not going well?
00:33:02.920 How, because I'm sure that there's a lot of signals that are pretty obvious and there
00:33:07.200 might be other signals that are maybe not so obvious or we can't see as well as men.
00:33:11.980 And so how do you judge or benchmark how that conversation is going?
00:33:15.640 Yeah, you really don't.
00:33:16.800 Like if you're in your head judging, you know, is this working?
00:33:20.500 You're probably very nervous and anxious.
00:33:23.000 And it's, if that's how your head is thinking, then it's showing up in your body as well.
00:33:27.180 Okay.
00:33:27.640 Yeah.
00:33:27.840 No matter what, like you just want to be you.
00:33:30.000 Like you just want to just, you're going to deliver value.
00:33:32.260 You're going to like, just give your personality to her.
00:33:35.180 You're just showing her who you are and that's it.
00:33:37.860 Whether or not she seems upset, she's, she's like, she's a variable.
00:33:41.440 You're the constant.
00:33:42.320 That's just constantly going to give value.
00:33:44.360 That's what you do.
00:33:45.240 You're just giving value, enjoying your life, moving through life.
00:33:48.500 But she's a variable, which is, you don't know like how she grew up as a child.
00:33:53.080 Like you don't know if she's having a bad day.
00:33:54.680 You don't know if she, she just broke up with someone.
00:33:57.000 Like you don't know if she's even single.
00:33:58.500 Like there's all these variables that you don't know and you can't control.
00:34:02.140 So the only thing that you can control is you.
00:34:04.480 And so that's, that's all you do is you just go and deliver you and, and that's it.
00:34:08.700 Like you're not judging the interaction.
00:34:11.080 If you're judging the interaction, then you're in your head.
00:34:13.760 And when you're in your head, you're, you know, you're not being attractive.
00:34:18.460 Right.
00:34:18.960 Yeah.
00:34:19.160 It makes sense.
00:34:20.260 Andrew, winding down on time.
00:34:21.440 I've got some other questions because this is so much information.
00:34:23.920 Yeah, there's so much here, man.
00:34:25.820 But we're skimming the surface.
00:34:27.000 Like we're not even getting into how in depth I know this can be.
00:34:30.940 And obviously we're going to give those that are listening an opportunity to connect with you and see what you have going on.
00:34:35.240 Got it.
00:34:35.700 But I'm really curious before we get into some of these other questions, do you have some advice for men that are married, that have been in relationships for a long time and how they can continue to date their spouses, date their wives?
00:34:48.040 Yeah, I do.
00:34:48.820 Honestly, never stop dating and taking the things she does for you for granted.
00:34:52.920 When you ask her to be your girlfriend or to marry you, you promise to be the man who would protect and carry her heart.
00:34:59.220 And she chose you.
00:35:00.580 Never forget that.
00:35:02.040 And don't get don't get lazy with your love.
00:35:04.060 I mean, you got to treat each date like it's your first date, full of excitement, full of adventure.
00:35:09.440 Remember that first date that you had with your girlfriend or wife.
00:35:12.300 And remember how you nervously kind of picked out your clothes.
00:35:15.660 Remember how nervous you were, that feeling that you had in her stomach as you were meeting her at a venue, whether it was at a restaurant, a coffee shop, wherever it was, at the park, at the beach.
00:35:24.780 Remember that feeling you had as you were walking and you were like, oh, where is she?
00:35:27.860 You got there early.
00:35:28.920 You like went to the bathroom like twice before because you were so nervous.
00:35:32.600 And I think those feelings are really healthy.
00:35:35.140 It's like bringing that feeling back that it really keeps it alive.
00:35:39.300 And to just always have fun together, go on adventures together, experience more of life together instead of separately.
00:35:45.240 Although, yes, have like separate lives, different friends and different hobbies away from each other.
00:35:49.560 But being able to experience life together is very important.
00:35:53.100 Be mysterious.
00:35:53.860 Take her on fun excursions without telling her where you're going.
00:35:57.060 Change it up.
00:35:58.040 Maybe you guys usually watch a movie on Fridays.
00:36:00.400 Maybe you don't.
00:36:01.120 Maybe you go do something else.
00:36:02.380 Maybe you just take her for a drive and park and then just sit on the trunk of your car and just – you have a bottle of wine in the trunk.
00:36:10.240 Like laugh more and be – laugh uncontrollably together and don't take life so damn serious.
00:36:16.760 And just forget all of this – like stop complaining and whining about why she's not this other person and just embrace her for who she is and love all the beauty that she is.
00:36:27.860 I think a relationship where two people are just naturally good friends with each other is a relationship that's going to stand the test of time.
00:36:35.480 Just never waste a moment.
00:36:37.060 It may be the last moment that you have with someone that you love.
00:36:40.400 I mean we all know someone who has died probably in the last year.
00:36:45.340 We all know someone close to us at some point who has died.
00:36:49.500 And someone someday is going to be the person you love, your girlfriend, your wife.
00:36:54.400 It's a fact.
00:36:55.180 There's nothing you can do to change that.
00:36:56.560 So don't waste it.
00:36:57.720 Live it fully.
00:36:59.240 Awesome.
00:36:59.700 I'm going to have to implement some of those because I know those are things that I need to continue to do.
00:37:03.180 So I appreciate the reminder on those things.
00:37:04.900 Awesome.
00:37:05.460 Yeah.
00:37:06.000 Yeah.
00:37:06.580 A couple other questions.
00:37:07.660 The first one, I ask this of all my guests and I want to hear this from you.
00:37:11.640 And the question is, what does it mean to be a man?
00:37:15.300 Yeah.
00:37:15.720 You know, it's a powerful question and there's so much to go in depth.
00:37:19.500 But I'll follow it up with, you know, I'll just touch more.
00:37:24.440 You know, your purpose is everything.
00:37:25.960 Buddha says your purpose in life is to find your purpose and give your whole heart and soul to it.
00:37:30.600 Your purpose is your mission in life.
00:37:32.240 It's your life's work.
00:37:33.520 Something important, noble and beautiful enough for you to even die for.
00:37:37.100 Something you choose to completely commit yourself to.
00:37:40.480 And I believe for a man, your purpose grounds you.
00:37:43.680 It maximizes your chances for career, business, success in your relationships and gives you the opportunity of having – of doing something that you absolutely love, which is going to give you more life.
00:37:55.040 I think too many men are zombies.
00:37:57.800 They're really almost dead.
00:38:00.020 A lot of men die at 20, at 25.
00:38:03.200 And they're just flowing through life.
00:38:05.080 But purpose gives you increased flow experiences, which is correlated with more happiness and professional success.
00:38:12.300 It's proven.
00:38:13.020 And so having a purpose for why you're doing what you do, why are you here, having this really makes you a stronger, more grounded, more confident, more self-reliant man where you're not needing anything from anyone else.
00:38:25.860 You're not clinging to other people.
00:38:27.280 And you're obviously not jealous of any other man or anybody else because you are going on your path and you love your path so much that it makes you come alive.
00:38:37.380 And more men need to come alive because the world is full of people who are dead.
00:38:41.800 Such a great explanation.
00:38:43.600 I appreciate you sharing.
00:38:44.580 And then the last thing I want to ask is if guys that are listening to this want to know more about you and what you're doing and get some of this advice or pick up one of your books, how do we connect with you, Andrew?
00:38:52.380 Yeah, just you can go to knowledgeformen.com and pretty much my podcast is there, the Knowledge for Men podcast.
00:38:58.360 You can check out my book, The Dating Playbook for Men or The Breakup Manual for Men, which are both Amazon bestsellers at the moment.
00:39:05.100 Appreciate you taking time out of your day.
00:39:06.960 I know you're busy.
00:39:08.100 I know you've just got done with the retreat.
00:39:09.800 So it sounds like you're going to go relax for a second.
00:39:12.820 So I really appreciate taking some time and teaching us some of these things that I think is so important.
00:39:17.880 Us as guys need to learn.
00:39:18.780 Thanks a ton for being on the show.
00:39:20.000 Ryan, it's been my pleasure.
00:39:20.960 We'd be happy to be on here again.
00:39:22.780 There you have it, guys.
00:39:23.620 Mr. Andrew Farabee giving us a glimpse into the Dating Playbook for Men.
00:39:27.000 Now, head to orderofman.com slash ironcouncil so you can get all the details on our Elite Mastermind, The Iron Council.
00:39:33.460 You will want to be part of that if you're ready to take your life to the next level, if you're ready to build some solid relationships with other guys and have some accountability to make sure, to guarantee that you're accomplishing what it is you want to accomplish in your life.
00:39:45.780 Now, also remember, we're doing our weekly giveaway with our partners and friends over at Seneca Creek.
00:39:49.440 Head to orderofman.com slash SenecaCreekGiveaway7.
00:39:53.720 This week, we'll be giving away the Seneca Creek Wool Baseball Cap.
00:39:58.280 It's a weekly drawing.
00:39:59.500 So, if you don't win this week, you can enter again next week.
00:40:01.500 Last thing, if you want some additional resources for this show, head to orderofman.com slash 047.
00:40:06.920 And also, join in the conversation we're having about masculinity with over 2,100 men on our Facebook group at facebook.com slash groups slash orderofman.
00:40:15.720 Guys, I look forward to talking to you next week, but until then, take action and become the man you were meant to be.
00:40:22.160 Thank you for listening to the Order of Man podcast.
00:40:25.120 If you're ready to take charge of your life and be more of the man you were meant to be, we invite you to join the order at orderofman.com.
00:40:31.720 For more information, visit www.fman.com.