Order of Man - OoM 054： Lessons Learned From an MMA Fighter with Charlie "The Spaniard" Brenneman

00:00:00.060 Most of you have watched MMA fights. From the casual observer, however, it simply looks like two guys beating each other mercilessly.

00:00:06.660 And while the violence is certainly an element of the fighting these guys participate in, there are so many lessons that can be extracted from fighting in the cage.

00:00:13.400 My guest today, MMA fighter Charlie the Spaniard Brenneman, shares with us how to become more disciplined, how to develop a perfect day, and what separates the winners from the losers.

00:00:22.180 You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest. Embrace your fears and boldly chart your own path.

00:00:27.880 When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time. Every time. You are not easily deterred or defeated. Rugged. Resilient. Strong.

00:00:37.660 This is your life. This is who you are. This is who you will become. At the end of the day, and after all is said and done, you can call yourself a man.

00:00:47.180 Men, what's going on today? My name is Ryan Michler. I am the host and founder of Order of Man. I'm glad you're tuning in here with us.

00:00:52.780 If you haven't heard this podcast yet and you're new here, I want you to know we talk about all things manly when it comes to the relationships you have with your family and your community, your health and your fitness, your wealth and business, but most importantly, how to take care of yourself.

00:01:06.320 Now, we've got a great one lined up for you today, and we're going to be talking about manly lessons learned from fighting MMA.

00:01:12.260 My guest today is going to give us the lessons he's learned from his career so we don't have to go out there and learn it the hard way.

00:01:17.980 But before we get into that, I do want to give you the heads up on the Iron Council, which is our elite mastermind.

00:01:23.080 Now, I'm sure you've heard of it by now, but if not, this is where men go to actually apply the stuff, apply the things they learn from this podcast and our blog into their lives.

00:01:31.980 This is not for guys who simply want to learn about it or talk about what it means to be a man.

00:01:36.560 This is for men who want to act on the knowledge they have to improve the connections they have with their wives and their kids.

00:01:42.800 They want to increase their wealth. Maybe they want to start a new business.

00:01:45.340 All of the things I know you're interested in, I get messages and emails every single day from men like yourself who are not satisfied with where they are in life and are ready to do something about it.

00:01:55.000 So if that's you, if you're one of those men of action, I invite you to join me and the rest of the men in the Iron Council.

00:02:00.240 Head to orderofman.com slash ironcouncil to get all the details, and you can join us there.

00:02:05.040 Now, let's get into the show today.

00:02:06.900 Remember, you can find all of the links and resources at orderofman.com slash 054.

00:02:11.700 And as always, join in the conversation we're having with over 2,600 men now in our Facebook group at facebook.com slash groups slash order of man.

00:02:20.500 Now, my guest today is Charlie the Spaniard Brenneman.

00:02:23.560 He is a professional mixed martial arts fighter, speaker, mentor, and author.

00:02:28.000 Following a successful high school wrestling career, Charlie took his talents to Lockhaven University,

00:02:32.020 where he achieved a top 12 finish at Division I Nationals and a first team all academic.

00:02:36.980 Now, here's where it gets interesting.

00:02:39.160 After teaching Spanish for three years and winning Spike TV's Pros vs. Joes,

00:02:44.220 Charlie decided to leave his job to pursue a master's degree and also begin his professional fighting career.

00:02:50.620 In 2011, he was ranked as high as number seven in the world in the UFC.

00:02:54.320 And in 2015, he published his autobiography, Driven, My Unlikely Journey from Classroom to Cage.

00:03:02.320 Charlie, what's going on, man?

00:03:03.400 Thanks for joining us on the show today.

00:03:04.540 How are you, Ryan?

00:03:05.220 I'm glad to be here, man.

00:03:06.980 I'm glad we could connect.

00:03:08.440 You were under the weather last week, and it sounds like you're feeling better now,

00:03:11.120 so this will be a good conversation today.

00:03:12.680 I am.

00:03:13.020 I don't get sick often, but, man, it really knocked me out the last week and a half.

00:03:16.760 But you recovered quick.

00:03:17.940 I did, you know.

00:03:18.860 That mentality, to be honest, it's funny.

00:03:21.040 You know, I really do have that mentality.

00:03:22.600 I just push through it and sweat and work out and try to just, you know, beat the sickness out of me.

00:03:27.880 But I'm not sure that's a true thing, but I work on that mentality.

00:03:32.280 You know, I think it is, and I think there's a lot of people who would probably disagree with me on this.

00:03:36.220 And I realize that there's people out there who have serious illnesses and sickness and disease.

00:03:41.680 But at the end of the day, I think a lot of us just need to tough it out and do what we can just to get past it because there's things to be done, right?

00:03:47.720 Absolutely, man.

00:03:48.360 It's funny.

00:03:48.720 My buddy sent me a Wikipedia of not being able to sweat out sickness.

00:03:52.480 I was like, dude, I don't know.

00:03:53.480 Oh, he did?

00:03:53.880 Yeah, I said, I just said that.

00:03:55.300 I don't know if it's true.

00:03:56.340 I just, that's how I live.

00:03:58.120 Yeah, yeah.

00:03:59.120 Well, whatever works, right?

00:04:00.320 That's all that matters.

00:04:01.220 Absolutely.

00:04:02.440 So, Charlie, I'm anxious to talk with you about this because you went from being a full-time school teacher to an MMA fighter.

00:04:11.700 So, tell me just about your thought process and your decision-making process behind that decision.

00:04:16.980 Yeah, I mean, it's a pretty interesting thing when you look at it from the outside.

00:04:21.000 But, yeah, I was a junior and senior high school Spanish teacher.

00:04:24.580 I graduated from college.

00:04:26.020 I was a wrestler my whole life.

00:04:27.280 I graduated from Lock Haven University.

00:04:30.440 And at that point, it was the end of my competitive career, basically my competitive life.

00:04:35.500 And I thought I wanted that.

00:04:36.980 You know, I was like, oh, I'm done cutting weight.

00:04:38.760 I'm done.

00:04:39.680 I'm going to eat soda or drink soda and eat Pepsi, whatever.

00:04:43.340 Drink.

00:04:43.860 I know what you mean.

00:04:44.860 Maybe you're not fully recovered from being sick.

00:04:47.920 But every day, I'm never working out again.

00:04:51.040 And then, you know, it just got old.

00:04:52.540 It got old quick.

00:04:53.700 And I needed a purpose.

00:04:56.500 I needed something to do with myself and with my life.

00:04:59.260 And a friend of mine from college wrestling, Frankie Edgar, who, you know, went on to become the UFC champ and is still doing really well.

00:05:06.680 I saw him fighting, and I thought, man, I can do that.

00:05:09.500 And so I took the steps to get it done.

00:05:12.080 I left my job graciously, and I got a grad assistantship for grad school.

00:05:18.220 I moved to eastern Pennsylvania, started training.

00:05:21.060 And once grad school was over, I jumped into it full time, moved to New Jersey, and spent much of the last decade driving all over the east coast to get the best training in.

00:05:30.940 What do you think about – I really am on board with what you just said about purpose.

00:05:35.420 I've thought a lot about what I call the domestication of modern man.

00:05:39.220 Yeah.

00:05:39.400 And we get stuck in these cubicles, or we get stuck in this rut, and then life is just so boring and mundane.

00:05:45.200 And I honestly believe that men are not supposed to live this way.

00:05:49.120 Why do you – first of all, I guess, do you recognize that as well?

00:05:51.840 And then second of all, if it is the case, why do you think that's the way it is these days?

00:05:56.520 Yeah, I absolutely think that way, and I operate on the same mentality.

00:05:59.900 It's tough for me.

00:06:00.860 You know, when people ask me what I do, you know, I used to be a teacher.

00:06:04.080 I used to be a fighter, and now I'm building a speaking career.

00:06:08.960 Basically, I just be me, and I try to inspire and share my knowledge with other people and have that be my livelihood.

00:06:15.340 That's just the way I'm wired.

00:06:17.340 And, you know, I look at a lot of people and, you know, some even my friends and my, you know, people around me in my circle.

00:06:24.460 I think that it's just like anything.

00:06:26.440 So if you have a married couple or you have a couple who they, you know, they form a relationship on day one.

00:06:34.080 And every day it gets a little more, a little more intense, a little more intense.

00:06:37.540 Well, if you let a seed, some sort of seed of negativity start on day one, when you extrapolate that and multiply it by a year, five years, 10 years, 15, 20 years, then it becomes this giant mountain.

00:06:49.860 Sure, right.

00:06:50.600 Between you and X, whether it's a goal or whether it's some other pursuit.

00:06:54.560 And I think that a lot of times people allow those seeds to really sprout.

00:06:59.220 And then when they realize they're there, it's such a monumental problem that it's too intimidating to attack.

00:07:05.780 So let's say somebody finds themselves in that rut where they feel like they're stuck or that they don't have purpose like you talked about.

00:07:11.860 Barring a complete job transfer and fighting MMA, what do you suggest guys do?

00:07:17.840 I think you just start at square one.

00:07:19.520 So it's like, you know, whether you call it trimming the fat or whether you call it getting rid of the excess stuff, you know, just what I like to do is every morning, you know, I get up really early, I bust my butt, I train physically hard, I train mentally hard, I'm reading, I'm learning.

00:07:33.840 And it's just always clearing the fat.

00:07:36.780 And remember, why am I doing this?

00:07:38.160 What do I want?

00:07:39.560 You know, there's exercise you can do, whether it's discovering your why or whether it's, you know, writing out your perfect day, these different things.

00:07:45.920 But for me, the motivation and the drive to be different is deeply seated in just my core self.

00:07:56.940 You know, what do I want to do?

00:07:57.920 What do I want to be?

00:07:58.760 And kind of getting rid of that clutter around it.

00:08:02.160 How did you find that out?

00:08:03.120 Because I think a lot of guys know where they are, that they're not happy with life or where they need to be, but they're directionless.

00:08:09.440 They don't have any idea of what I need to be doing or how can this change or how can this improve?

00:08:13.760 They don't even really realize that something else is out there.

00:08:16.260 They just know what they're in is not quite right.

00:08:18.700 I mean, for me, I was fortunate and I write about this in my book and I write about it in blogs, etc.

00:08:23.920 But I knew from a very young age, you know, what I wanted to do and what I want to do is I want to live, experience and share with other people.

00:08:33.320 And the format, you know, at first it was wrestling and then it was through teaching and then it was through professional fighting and now it's through speaking.

00:08:40.520 But the theme of inspiring people has been in my being since I was a kid.

00:08:46.560 For someone who's, you know, our age, I don't know exactly how old you are, but, you know, you're guessing.

00:08:51.940 Mid-30s.

00:08:52.400 Mid-30s, yeah, same here.

00:08:54.180 You know, for someone who's at that crossroads or that confusion, it's like, well, I'm 35 and I still don't know.

00:08:59.920 I mean, a great exercise is writing out your perfect day.

00:09:03.700 And I mean, that's it.

00:09:04.460 It doesn't have to be super monumental, but go home today.

00:09:08.420 People ask me this all the time, how I wrote a book.

00:09:10.500 Well, you just start, you know.

00:09:11.960 Right, right.

00:09:12.620 Go home from wherever you're doing right now and write out your perfect day.

00:09:15.900 What, you know, what time you want to get up, what you want to eat, who you want to be around, what you want to do, where you want to do it, etc.

00:09:21.600 And then assess it and think, okay, what's the first little thing I can do right now to create that same snowball effect that I was talking of negativity earlier, to create that same snowball effect of positivity.

00:09:37.440 That makes total sense.

00:09:38.260 I think a lot of guys will look at that though because I've heard that answer before and it's right on.

00:09:42.620 I mean, I've done the same thing in my life and I've seen huge transformations and changes and excitement in my life because I'm willing to invest some time in doing that.

00:09:51.140 But there's a lot of guys out there who I think will skim over that and won't implement that advice because it almost sounds like it's too simple, right?

00:09:58.580 Yeah, and I'll tell you what.

00:09:59.460 Those people who are going to jump over it and who are going to skim over it aren't going to accomplish what they want to do because they don't understand that what gets you to the end, what gets you to where you want to be are the little things that you do on a daily basis that the average person doesn't want to do.

00:10:13.640 Yeah, yeah.

00:10:14.440 That's a great point.

00:10:15.540 And I was actually talking with some of the youth in our church yesterday and one of the gals that we were talking with, she plays basketball and I asked her how many drills she thinks she runs on a weekly basis during practice and she said anywhere from probably 50 to 100 different drills.

00:10:29.680 And I said, well, how many different skills are you learning?

00:10:32.140 She said, well, at the end of the day, we're only learning three skills, right?

00:10:35.320 Passing, dribbling, and shooting and we're just learning and doing all these drills to get better at those three things.

00:10:41.680 So she talked a lot about the small things, just getting consistently better at a select few things will really help them obviously in that context win a basketball game, but as life as well.

00:10:52.400 Absolutely.

00:10:52.900 You know, I've had a wrestling career, I've had a teaching career, I've had a fighting career and I'm building a speaking career.

00:11:00.680 And, you know, I'm living that right now, you know, trying to narrow and focus on, all right, who really am I talking to and what really am I talking about?

00:11:09.800 So it's a real thing that just because someone's successful or perceived successful, it doesn't end there.

00:11:16.440 You know, it's an ongoing thing.

00:11:17.820 I recently watched Euro Dreams of Sushi on Netflix.

00:11:21.560 I don't know if you've ever heard of it.

00:11:22.920 No, I haven't.

00:11:23.400 You should watch it and all your other listeners should watch it as well.

00:11:26.260 It's called Euro Dreams of Sushi, J-I-R-O. 0.94

00:11:29.440 But it's about this world-renowned sushi chef who, I mean, he literally said, I've been doing the same thing every day for, I think it's like 70 years.

00:11:39.680 Right.

00:11:40.180 And that's how he became the best sushi chef in the world.

00:11:45.140 How do you keep your excitement?

00:11:46.720 Because I know if I look at things that I have to do every single day and I do them because I know that they're an important part or a component of what it is that I want to accomplish.

00:11:54.980 How do you personally stay motivated to continue doing those things when it gets mundane and boring?

00:11:59.460 Yeah, I mean at the very root of it, it's remembering to focus on your why and your reason for being.

00:12:05.900 Sure.

00:12:06.080 But on a practical, logistical basis is I need variants.

00:12:10.200 I need to switch things up.

00:12:11.640 So if, for example, in my speaking career or where I'm headed now, I need several different components to comprise that thing.

00:12:20.580 So there's a little bit of blogging.

00:12:21.760 There's a little bit of speaking.

00:12:22.740 There's a little bit of reading.

00:12:23.620 You know, and there's these different funnels that creates enough of a variance that are all collectively working together to achieve my ultimate goal.

00:12:33.080 Yeah, that's a great point.

00:12:34.380 In the past, I've actually bounced from thing to thing.

00:12:36.740 And my wife, as I started Order of Man just about a year ago now, she said to me, I really like the idea.

00:12:42.360 I think it's exciting and I'm excited for you to do it.

00:12:44.360 But I think it'll only last for, you know, several months because I think you'll get bored.

00:12:48.360 And I do, I tend to get bored, but I've done exactly what you're talking about where we've got the blog and we've got the podcast and we've got the mastermind and we've got this and we've got that.

00:12:57.680 And it's created enough variance to keep things interesting for me.

00:13:00.320 So all of those things, it's, you know, it's like a puzzle or, you know, it's all of those things are differently, independently functioning towards that master goal.

00:13:08.720 Sure.

00:13:09.120 Makes a ton of sense.

00:13:09.960 What was the hardest transition for you from being a school teacher to now I'm going to take a complete 180 and get into fighting?

00:13:18.720 And you've always had this wrestling background, so I'm sure you've always been athletic.

00:13:22.180 But what was the biggest and hardest transition for you as you did that?

00:13:24.820 You know, thinking on that question, immediately processing it, I'm not sure that it was very difficult.

00:13:30.140 It was a very natural thing for me.

00:13:31.900 Really?

00:13:32.180 I will tell you, though, one of the biggest things of living life, living life in the public like that, and I've had some really big fights, you know, some co-main events in the UFC on live television.

00:13:43.700 And I've also, like, not had the best nights on live TV in the UFC.

00:13:48.500 So it's been a spectacle, I guess a spectacle.

00:13:52.500 But the thing that I was not prepared for and still, at this point, feel like I got a pretty good handle on it, though, is just the harshness of the real world.

00:14:03.160 You know, social media, you have your following, the Order of Man following, I have my following.

00:14:07.860 So, you know, I bet you don't get many Order of Man comments saying, Ryan, you're terrible and you should stop, you know, I'm keeping it clean here.

00:14:15.500 But, you know, some terrible things.

00:14:17.540 Like, no, not from our audience, that's for sure.

00:14:20.420 From those outside of the audience, we get that kind of stuff.

00:14:23.100 But, man, just getting that stuff on a regular basis from the MMA community is insane.

00:14:29.300 I'm not officially retired, but I'm kind of on hiatus because the offers just aren't worth the risk, to be honest.

00:14:37.480 Sure, sure.

00:14:37.760 But it's like, I'm thinking, like, man, if I ever announce my retirement, I'm going to get more hate than I will support.

00:14:44.800 And that's the way, unfortunately, that the MMA community works.

00:14:48.120 Yeah, so not to rub salt in the wound here, but I've always had this question as I watch an MMA fight about what is the mindset after a loss?

00:14:58.500 Because everybody goes through loss, but not everybody has it as visible as you do.

00:15:04.100 That's a great question that I wish I could convey the actuality of the situation.

00:15:11.100 You know, I watch fights on a pretty regular basis, and the guy that I had just fought, Johnny Hendricks, just got knocked out on Saturday night.

00:15:18.300 You know, I don't – everyone I've fought, I don't have a problem with any of them.

00:15:21.580 You know, they're all relative, respectful human beings.

00:15:23.760 And, man, I watched him lose, and just – I felt for him.

00:15:27.940 And I don't have a relationship with him at all.

00:15:30.240 He beat me up before, you know, so I should hate him.

00:15:33.160 But I was – it was making me sick to imagine how he's feeling.

00:15:38.120 I actually said to my wife that next morning, I can't imagine how Johnny's feeling right now because it's like you put – I put everything into that, everything, money, time, everything.

00:15:51.820 That's your livelihood.

00:15:52.680 And then to fall flat on your face in front of everyone, it's just – it's terrible.

00:15:59.480 I mean, it's really tough.

00:16:01.120 And to be able to get up that next morning and that next morning and that next morning and then create that snowball effect of, you know, small but incremental positive change is pretty – you know, it builds some strong character.

00:16:16.680 So are you right back at it?

00:16:18.420 I mean, with the next day, I mean, you're up and you're back at it?

00:16:20.980 Or is the mind – is it just in your mind so hard to overcome maybe the negativity of I'm not adequate or I'm not good enough?

00:16:27.360 What is that like?

00:16:28.540 What's that timeframe?

00:16:29.620 It differs.

00:16:30.420 It differs from fight to fight because, you know, physically speaking, you could be not bruised at all or you could still be in a hospital.

00:16:37.620 It differs greatly.

00:16:39.160 For me personally, I always a lot like a weak period of just feeling bad for myself.

00:16:44.660 So I don't even try. 0.98

00:16:45.700 You know, I just wake up and feel like crap and I say, feel like crap, Charlie. 1.00

00:16:50.420 It's your time to feel like crap. 0.99

00:16:52.500 And then on that eighth day, it's like, all right, man up. 0.98

00:16:54.900 You know, get moving.

00:16:56.260 Get out of this.

00:16:57.780 Interesting.

00:16:58.480 So you've already decided beforehand.

00:17:00.160 I mean, obviously, you don't anticipate and don't want to lose the loss.

00:17:03.200 But if that's going to occur, you know what the plan is after that.

00:17:06.240 Yeah, after it happens enough.

00:17:07.660 And I'll tell you what, and you'll appreciate this and some insight for the listeners.

00:17:11.800 I got knocked out on April 26, 2014.

00:17:14.720 I was fighting on live TV in the UFC and I got knocked out cold, one punch right to my jaw and I was out.

00:17:19.820 Oh, wow.

00:17:20.360 Yeah.

00:17:20.540 And that really shook me everything.

00:17:22.500 It shook everything as a being.

00:17:23.940 But also, you know, I was concussed.

00:17:25.860 I woke up the next, well, I mean, I woke up immediately.

00:17:28.060 But the next morning, I woke up with a little bit of a headache.

00:17:30.280 But then on the, like Monday, Tuesday, so a couple of days after the fight, my headache hit me like nothing.

00:17:37.500 And I couldn't think straight.

00:17:39.880 I couldn't see straight.

00:17:41.540 And I had my in-laws, you know, I had to babysit my daughter.

00:17:44.600 They had to walk in and pick her up when I'm writhing on the couch. 1.00

00:17:47.440 And then in the meantime, I'm getting this hateful social media comments.

00:17:52.260 Oh, I bet.

00:17:53.080 I'm terrible and I should be embarrassed and I'm a disgrace to the sport.

00:17:56.120 And, I mean, getting kicked when you're down like that, as I had mentioned, it really, I mean, you can go one way or the other.

00:18:03.400 You can soak in it and become a, you know, a melancholy whatever.

00:18:07.840 Or you can just man up and face it and move forward.

00:18:11.340 Well, let's flip this around then.

00:18:12.520 Let's talk about the positives.

00:18:14.080 We don't want to be down on everybody, right?

00:18:15.760 Oh, wait.

00:18:16.060 There are positives to professional fights?

00:18:17.920 Well, I don't know.

00:18:18.400 You tell me.

00:18:18.900 I'm going to ask you next.

00:18:20.140 Yeah.

00:18:20.940 No, you know, what's it like after a win?

00:18:23.080 I mean, you have a big win and do you enjoy the moment or is your mind and you the kind of guy that says, okay, great.

00:18:30.520 What's next?

00:18:31.160 No, you know what?

00:18:31.800 I, uh, so the biggest, the biggest night of my life, you know, of my professional fighting life was on June 26th, 2011.

00:18:39.220 And I talk about this in my book in detail, but I was thrust into a co-main event spot in the UFC against a guy named Rick Story.

00:18:47.100 Rick Story at that time was ranked number six in the world.

00:18:49.820 And if he had won, he was going to fight George St. Pierre for the belt.

00:18:54.060 Oh, wow.

00:18:54.760 Okay.

00:18:54.980 Yeah.

00:18:55.120 Here I was thrust in this main event as a nobody.

00:18:57.740 Like I was, I was a laughingstock on online.

00:19:00.980 You know, it was like, who's this can story's going to murder him, blah, blah, blah.

00:19:05.160 Sure.

00:19:05.700 Sure. 1.00

00:19:05.920 So I walked into that on live TV and one, I kicked his butt. 0.98

00:19:10.080 And it was like, the way I describe it to answer your question, it's like having everything that you could ever imagine and want in the palm of your hand. 0.98

00:19:20.180 It's the most fulfilling, satisfying, gratifying feeling that you could ever imagine.

00:19:26.440 And it's kind of the same way.

00:19:27.860 I let that marinate and soak in that for about a week.

00:19:32.340 And then it's, all right, get back to work.

00:19:35.320 Yeah.

00:19:35.500 So same thing.

00:19:36.200 I mean, very similar process.

00:19:37.660 Enjoy it for a week.

00:19:39.040 Yeah.

00:19:39.560 Have to, you know, suck it up and live through it for a week.

00:19:42.500 And then you're right back to it.

00:19:43.700 Absolutely.

00:19:44.580 How does your experience in fighting and MMA compare to everyday life, whether it's being a school teacher or now with you building your blog and your speaking career?

00:19:56.740 How do those things compare and then maybe how do they differentiate?

00:20:00.500 Yeah.

00:20:01.040 It's a really great question.

00:20:02.860 The principles, and that's why it's hard for me to kind of narrow down exactly who I want to speak to, because the principles that I've learned and that I've kind of developed into my speaking curriculum, they're universal.

00:20:15.780 I mean, it's over.

00:20:18.180 It's the standard cliched things that we hear on a daily basis.

00:20:21.060 The reason that, you know, people wouldn't expect that a UFC fighter could relate to them if they're in an office or they're a high school kid going to school is because they think that fighting is just this far off crazy thing.

00:20:35.220 And while it is kind of a far off crazy thing, I'm sitting on my couch right now in my house in a normal town.

00:20:42.580 You know, we're people, but we've been able to experience these experiences and these successes and these failures times a million.

00:20:52.880 So the learning curve that we have to go through is amplify that much more than the average person.

00:21:00.980 So in that aspect, we have that much more valuable insight to offer people than the average person.

00:21:08.260 I get that just because of the level you're playing at.

00:21:10.540 Absolutely.

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00:22:19.900 Now, back to my interview with Charlie.

00:22:24.060 So what separates a because the night the name of your book is driven and I'm really curious what separates out of the thousands, tens of thousands of guys who call themselves MMA fighters.

00:22:38.060 What separates the men who are extremely successful, top level fighters like yourself and guys who never really get off the ground, although they have this dream and this passion they're chasing?

00:22:49.660 Yeah, it's a couple to it's two different sides.

00:22:52.500 One, it's the work that I was talking about.

00:22:54.740 People aren't the majority of people aren't willing to do the things that that I did.

00:23:01.100 You know, I'm from central Pennsylvania and I live in lived in a very rural area.

00:23:05.620 So I, I quit my job.

00:23:08.520 I moved across the state when I moved across the state.

00:23:12.840 I traveled to train.

00:23:14.600 I traveled to train about 15 hours a week.

00:23:17.960 So if you add up, you know, roughly two hours a day of actually traveling to the workouts.

00:23:23.060 Right.

00:23:23.600 And then working out and then driving home.

00:23:26.240 You know, that that's like I mean, that's a lot of time and a lot of effort.

00:23:30.900 And most people don't have the fortitude to really remember, OK, why am I doing this?

00:23:35.240 Why am I doing this at the risk of it never paying off?

00:23:39.140 That's another thing.

00:23:40.660 So, yeah, it could never work.

00:23:42.120 Yeah, definitely.

00:23:42.920 So there's that aspect of one.

00:23:44.580 Most people just are willing to actually put in the work needed to be put in.

00:23:48.620 And then secondly, Ryan, if you have the best podcast ever.

00:23:53.780 I do.

00:23:54.080 Yeah.

00:23:54.280 Yeah.

00:23:54.460 I'm just kidding.

00:23:55.300 Well, yeah.

00:23:55.920 What's take out this?

00:23:57.220 Yeah.

00:23:57.520 What are you talking about?

00:24:00.220 We're getting there.

00:24:01.140 Um, so, you know, you have the best podcast ever, right?

00:24:05.940 But if you don't have a platform, if you don't have a following, if you if your neighbor doesn't

00:24:10.720 know that you have this podcast, then it's not going anywhere.

00:24:15.000 So it's not really the best, right?

00:24:16.740 Yeah.

00:24:17.000 Yeah.

00:24:17.160 It's not.

00:24:17.700 I mean, it hypothetically, it probably could be, but it's not in the perception of society.

00:24:22.960 So the second, the second facet is guys don't connect themselves with the people that they

00:24:28.920 need to connect themselves.

00:24:30.040 And that's by either management, moving, um, forming a relationship with a gym, you know,

00:24:37.180 those types of things are, are equally as important.

00:24:40.740 Yeah, that's a great point.

00:24:41.900 That's in fact, we talk a lot about relationships and specifically networking.

00:24:45.600 And we always hear the adage, you are the average of the five people you spend the most

00:24:48.880 time with.

00:24:49.520 You hear things like that.

00:24:50.720 How does a, how does an everyday guy like myself decide who it is I need to connect with

00:24:56.220 and then actually start making those connections so I can up where I am in life?

00:25:00.320 I'll say this much.

00:25:01.080 So the answer to the second part of that, the way you do it is by picking up the phone and

00:25:05.720 doing it.

00:25:06.600 It goes back to that, you know, doing the little things.

00:25:09.780 So what I've learned in my experience is from both one reading about it to experiencing

00:25:15.780 it on the end of being the, the, the, the, I don't want to say inferior, but being the

00:25:21.720 person learning from.

00:25:23.380 Sure.

00:25:23.940 Right.

00:25:24.100 And then I've all the student, but then I've also lived it from the teacher perspective.

00:25:29.500 If a young fighter, you know, I speak at a lot of schools.

00:25:32.520 I have a school program geared around vision and values and sharing my information, my experience

00:25:37.980 on that.

00:25:38.460 And I tell every kid in that auditorium, 10,000 kids last year, I said to them, email me, call

00:25:46.220 me with any concerns, any advice, any, anything, and I will help you.

00:25:51.320 I guarantee.

00:25:52.780 Yeah.

00:25:53.020 Because I'm in a position where I can, I can make that statement out of 10,000 kids.

00:25:58.080 I've probably had 20 emails total.

00:26:01.680 And then out of those 20 emails, I might've had three follow up on that initial email.

00:26:07.460 So interesting.

00:26:08.780 Right.

00:26:08.960 Yeah.

00:26:09.100 And even that to me sounds actually high.

00:26:10.980 Yeah.

00:26:11.260 It is.

00:26:11.640 So I'm surprised even that high, which is surprising.

00:26:14.440 So one is the actual doing it because the, you know, people, and you know, this too, people

00:26:18.720 in those positions of perceived success, they value and appreciate essentially themselves

00:26:24.840 five, 10, 15, 20 years ago.

00:26:27.160 They appreciate.

00:26:28.260 They can see themselves.

00:26:28.640 Yes, exactly.

00:26:29.440 And, and I know I appreciate that.

00:26:31.500 And the vast majority of other people do.

00:26:33.420 So it's so hard in podcasts like this because myself as a, as the host and you as the guest,

00:26:38.680 you know, I'm always looking for that magic answer.

00:26:41.160 And I know a lot of guys are looking for that magic answer and the magic answer is you just

00:26:44.480 got to get to work, but that's not the answer that anybody wants to hear though.

00:26:48.500 Right.

00:26:48.600 Earlier when we were talking about it, uh, when you asked me the question along those

00:26:52.380 lines, I was thinking, well, for those guys who think that is too simple of an answer,

00:26:56.720 tell them to call me when they have the answer.

00:26:59.560 Cause I want it.

00:27:00.480 Cause I don't want to do all this work.

00:27:02.380 I, yeah, if I can find a quicker way, I'll do it.

00:27:04.660 Yeah.

00:27:05.060 And it, and it just doesn't exist long-term.

00:27:07.400 I'll say that it doesn't exist long-term.

00:27:09.220 Exactly.

00:27:09.580 So let's go back to the previous answer, which was talking about, uh, basically building

00:27:15.540 mental fortitude, stick-to-itiveness, right?

00:27:17.940 Just making sure that you're going to actually live out what it is you're trying to accomplish.

00:27:22.580 And you said, most men won't do that.

00:27:25.120 Why is that?

00:27:26.020 Why aren't guys doing that?

00:27:27.160 Why aren't we able to maintain discipline over long periods of time?

00:27:30.260 I think, you know, part of it is just one, because they don't truly want it enough.

00:27:35.020 Um, you know, I work, I have a couple of really extremely valuable mentors that, that,

00:27:39.020 you know, I work with and the, the, one of the activities that we're doing is, you know,

00:27:43.960 mapping out my day, like every single day, the whatever, 12, 16 hours, 18 hours, I'm awake

00:27:50.360 mapping it out in 30 minute increments.

00:27:52.880 And it's intimidating to see, like I, I walk, I'm in my head.

00:27:58.940 It's like, I'm Charlie, I'm dedicated to, you know, building my career. 0.98

00:28:01.820 I'm busting my butt.

00:28:02.800 But then when I look at that sheet of paper and I see like, whoa, dude, you have like four 0.85

00:28:07.760 hours, five hours, six hours where you're not actually doing anything.

00:28:13.280 Yeah, I know what that's like.

00:28:14.960 It's daunting, man.

00:28:15.600 It is really intimidating.

00:28:17.580 And for myself, you know, I, I've lived in the public eye and I've been bashed and ridiculed,

00:28:23.320 et cetera, in the, in the public eye on a regular basis.

00:28:25.660 So it's like, eh, you know, that little thing staring in front of me doesn't really do much

00:28:30.640 to me.

00:28:30.980 It's like, okay, well, okay, let's get better.

00:28:32.740 It's intimidating and it's easier to not pay attention to it than it is to actually work

00:28:39.380 on it.

00:28:39.920 You know, I wrote, I, I, I self-published my book in November and I probably could have

00:28:44.160 gotten it done by August or September.

00:28:46.880 But as I got closer to the end of it, I started to get scared and I started getting nervous

00:28:51.360 and I started to think, what if this is bad?

00:28:53.820 What if people don't like it?

00:28:55.140 What if I do something?

00:28:56.760 I started to create all these reasons that were inhibiting my success.

00:29:00.640 And then I thought, you know what, man, heck with all that, you're doing this, do it right

00:29:05.840 now.

00:29:06.460 So I picked up the phone and, you know, made, made arrangements to get it done.

00:29:09.540 But it's, it's that fear of becoming self-aware, I think.

00:29:13.360 Yeah.

00:29:13.780 I talked to a lot of guys about my health journey over the past three years and the hardest

00:29:17.820 thing was not to get back to the gym.

00:29:19.320 The hardest thing for me was to actually get on the scale at the worst that it had ever

00:29:23.500 gotten.

00:29:24.100 So that self-reflection is definitely a valuable thing, but certainly hard to do.

00:29:29.440 Absolutely.

00:29:29.700 So what is your day, your day where you start mapping that out?

00:29:33.260 I'm really curious about that thought process where you say, Hey, we map it out every, every

00:29:36.660 30 minutes is what you said.

00:29:37.900 I'm really curious about what that process looks like for you and how we might implement

00:29:40.840 that in our lives.

00:29:41.860 The actual logistic process of it.

00:29:43.940 I mean, I'm, I'm very new to it, like a week into it.

00:29:46.660 Uh, and I, and I have, it's funny, you know, I haven't, I'm not going to sit here and say

00:29:49.880 I have, I haven't done a full seven day week because it is very daunting.

00:29:54.140 So I'm doing like two days, you know, two days, two days to get comfortable with that

00:29:59.180 implementation.

00:30:00.200 But I mean, it's literally just operating on a spreadsheet Sunday through Saturday, starting

00:30:06.000 the, the, the day at my wake up time.

00:30:08.280 So sometimes I wake up at four 45, sometimes I wake up at five 30 and then boom.

00:30:12.820 And from there, it's, you know, the first couple blocks are the same.

00:30:15.980 I read every morning.

00:30:17.560 I have a, what I call power bread.

00:30:19.280 It's kind of a joke, but I call it a power breakfast where I speak with one of my mentors

00:30:23.400 for 15, 30 minutes about growth, growth oriented content.

00:30:28.100 And, uh, I journal.

00:30:29.700 And then from there it's, it's, you know, increment and other things that I'm working

00:30:33.480 on to, to build my, my speaking career.

00:30:36.800 I thought when you said power breakfast, I thought you were going to refer to what you told me you

00:30:40.700 were eating before we started recording this podcast today.

00:30:43.400 I'm like, if that's a power breakfast, I don't want that.

00:30:46.700 You know, the other day I've made my daughter a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

00:30:50.380 I thought, dang, that looks good.

00:30:52.020 So now for like the last three days, I've been just having peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.

00:30:56.420 That works.

00:30:57.200 Hey, that works.

00:30:58.160 So what have you noticed over the past seven days of just implementing this process?

00:31:01.180 Have you noticed your efficiency or effectiveness go up?

00:31:03.880 What does that look like over the past week?

00:31:05.360 Yeah, definitely efficiency, effectiveness going up also.

00:31:08.020 So, but then I, I've noticed that in the same thing with, with journaling, I've noticed

00:31:11.240 that the things I use the five minute journal, you know, at the, at the end of it, it says,

00:31:15.840 how could I have made today better?

00:31:17.140 I've noticed like through that process and through the scheduling process that, and again,

00:31:21.140 I'm very new to this, so it's not like I'm an expert, but I've already noticed it's

00:31:25.040 like the things that I could have done better each day are the same things.

00:31:29.300 Sure.

00:31:29.660 So always, I only have maybe three things that I could have done better, but those three things

00:31:34.980 make up like a hundred percent of my not well executed time.

00:31:39.980 Yeah.

00:31:40.360 So it really helps to clarify, okay, what is, what are the major problems?

00:31:44.540 No, that's good.

00:31:45.180 We use a, I actually use, and I learned this in the military, but we called it an after

00:31:49.480 action review.

00:31:50.380 And I think a lot of people out there probably plan out their day and they probably plan it

00:31:54.280 out very similar each and every day, but they fail to actually reflect upon how the day

00:31:58.480 was actually executed.

00:31:59.700 So the questions I ask myself at the end of the day is, what did I want to get accomplished?

00:32:05.180 What did I actually get accomplished?

00:32:08.020 What would I have liked to get done a little bit more?

00:32:11.080 What could I have done to improve the day and how am I going to improve the day tomorrow?

00:32:15.880 So those five or whatever those were, five or six questions I ask every single day.

00:32:20.280 And it's amazing how much more effective I am the following day when I think about how

00:32:23.940 the previous day went.

00:32:24.800 And like to couple on the theme that we're talking about, like, how can you, how can you

00:32:29.420 make it better?

00:32:29.920 How can the average guy make, uh, take that first step?

00:32:32.900 That last part that you said is how can I make tomorrow better?

00:32:37.040 Yeah.

00:32:37.740 That means nothing if you don't actually do it tomorrow.

00:32:42.560 Yeah.

00:32:43.000 And it's just so much easier and less pressure to just, I'm going to sleep, boom, it's gone.

00:32:48.680 Um, you know, to actually wake up the next morning and remember and then do is, is what

00:32:54.420 separates, you know, the, the average from the, the best.

00:32:58.440 Not to mention the guilt associated with that, because I think there's a lot of guys who,

00:33:01.880 who really want to make something more out of their life, but haven't.

00:33:04.580 And then they have to live with this guilt or this shame.

00:33:06.920 And a lot of that is the root of confidence issues, not really doing what you told yourself

00:33:12.620 you were going to do and, and being short of the life that you believe you deserve.

00:33:16.000 Yeah.

00:33:16.440 You know, on a, uh, a practical level.

00:33:18.920 So one of my trainers, he he's over in Philadelphia.

00:33:21.780 He runs a gym called stay fly.

00:33:23.400 And he's been a, just a super, super asset to my life and my career.

00:33:27.980 And, you know, from very early on, you know, when you start training with someone, money

00:33:32.100 becomes, can become a thing, you know, in a business relationship or when you're training,

00:33:37.260 like how are we going to figure this out?

00:33:38.780 And it's very uncomfortable.

00:33:40.480 And through his experiences, which I use in my life now is he said, I've, I've, I've,

00:33:45.980 learned that it's easier to have an uncomfortable two minute conversation on day one than it

00:33:51.360 is to sever a relationship on year one or year two or somewhere down the line.

00:33:57.200 So it's, it's doing the, you know, that little uncomfortable thing like, all right, Ryan,

00:34:01.280 all right, Charlie, you know, you really didn't do this yesterday.

00:34:03.780 It's uncomfortable right now, but I'm in this for the long haul.

00:34:07.540 And then you move forward.

00:34:09.260 And isn't it such a huge weight off your back when you know you have to get something done,

00:34:13.160 but you've been pushing it off for whatever reason?

00:34:15.500 Yeah.

00:34:15.620 And when you finally do it, how liberated you feel for doing it?

00:34:18.920 Absolutely.

00:34:19.440 I read Tim Ferriss's content a lot and he talks about that with just, and actually I'm reading

00:34:24.780 Mark Devine's book too about The Unbeatable Mind.

00:34:28.600 Oh yeah, great book.

00:34:29.380 Yeah, it is.

00:34:30.160 And he talks about, well, Tim Ferriss is like super minimalist, but, but Mark also talks about

00:34:36.780 it just kind of getting rid of clutter and junk, et cetera.

00:34:40.260 And, you know, that's a tremendous asset, you know, clean out your closet and be like,

00:34:44.740 oh yes, I feel so good about this.

00:34:47.400 Let me bounce back to one more question I have while we're on the topic of discipline

00:34:51.800 and sticking to things.

00:34:53.240 How does one develop that?

00:34:55.040 Because we all know what it's going to take and we all know that it's probably going to

00:34:58.320 take longer than we thought.

00:34:59.880 And the effort's going to be, the effort required is going to be more than we initially

00:35:04.160 thought as well.

00:35:04.880 So how do we develop the skill of sticking to things and building discipline into our

00:35:09.220 lives?

00:35:09.900 Yeah, it's a, it's like anything.

00:35:11.540 Um, okay.

00:35:12.860 So at the root, you really have to want to do it.

00:35:15.080 You know, I can, I can, uh, I can give you the secret to making a million dollars or

00:35:19.840 the plan, Ryan, but if you don't do it, it's not going to happen.

00:35:22.360 So one, that's, that's the underlying, but the, a practical first step is to schedule

00:35:28.520 and write down, um, you know, if you're trying to, whether it's working out, whether you're

00:35:33.400 trying to eat healthy, whether it's whatever, it's scheduling and planning.

00:35:37.320 If you go into a day thinking, oh, I'm going to eat healthy today and I'm going to work

00:35:41.380 out.

00:35:41.660 Right.

00:35:42.000 And then you wake up and then your day starts.

00:35:43.840 And then before you know it, it's one o'clock, you have to eat a quick lunch and then you get

00:35:47.320 home and then you have your house, you know, your family activities.

00:35:50.320 Well, if the night before you would make your healthy lunch, right, you'd write down on a

00:35:54.980 piece of paper, you know, what time you're going to work out your, your,

00:35:58.520 your workout clothes, one, you either slept in them so you can work out the next morning

00:36:03.200 immediately upon waking up or two, they're neatly packed in a bag that's already in your

00:36:07.100 car, you know, planning like that and scheduling it is, it's forming habits and habits at the

00:36:14.180 very beginning are like active conscious decisions that you have to make.

00:36:19.420 And then after you make those decisions, whether it's three weeks or whether it's 21 times or

00:36:24.080 however long, um, then, then it becomes the habit that you want.

00:36:28.520 But at the beginning, you really have to focus on, on why you're doing it, but then start

00:36:33.840 planning, start scheduling and start prepping.

00:36:36.200 And then little by little by little, that will become part of you.

00:36:39.760 Hey Charlie, we're running down on time here.

00:36:41.660 There's a question I want to ask that I ask all of my guests and that is what does it mean

00:36:46.020 to be a man?

00:36:46.780 You know, I list, I've listened to your podcast for quite a while and I, I, I love your content

00:36:51.780 and it really resonates with what, with what I think of that.

00:36:56.760 And I think a huge, huge part of being a man is identifying your purpose and your values

00:37:03.020 and sticking to them no matter what.

00:37:05.940 I think knowing, knowing what you stand for and standing for it is, is makes as much of a

00:37:11.600 man as anything.

00:37:12.280 Has nothing to do with fighting, has nothing to do with beards or mustaches or anything

00:37:17.400 like that.

00:37:18.600 Although you have a nice one.

00:37:20.000 I do too, Ryan.

00:37:21.180 I can see that yours is probably a little better.

00:37:24.400 How long is it?

00:37:25.240 Do you have a full beard now?

00:37:26.820 It's not long.

00:37:27.620 Yes, I have a full beard, but, but it's not a long beard.

00:37:30.140 It's, I keep it pretty.

00:37:31.980 Okay.

00:37:32.480 Yeah.

00:37:32.700 I did for a long time.

00:37:33.920 I'm going on almost, I think I'm just about 11 months right now.

00:37:37.360 Oh yeah.

00:37:37.980 Funny story about actually when I fought Johnny Hendricks, I fought him back in.

00:37:41.500 And I think, uh, 20, 2009, 2010, um, right after that fight, I got back, it was in California.

00:37:48.720 I got back to my apartment and I was getting ready to shave and I thought just out of nowhere,

00:37:53.020 like, wait a minute, why am I shaving?

00:37:55.300 I don't have to shave anymore.

00:37:57.560 Yeah, it's nice.

00:37:58.560 It's that day I've had a beard.

00:38:00.160 I know.

00:38:00.420 And, and it's actually gets a little tough for me now because I wrestle, I've got two

00:38:04.900 boys and I've got a little girl and I wrestle with my two boys just about every night and

00:38:08.420 my little girl is starting to get involved in, and the way that she beats me is she just 1.00

00:38:11.940 grabs a fist full of my beard and just yanks.

00:38:14.900 Oh my goodness.

00:38:16.180 It hurts like you wouldn't believe.

00:38:17.480 Oh, I know.

00:38:18.000 I know.

00:38:19.080 I believe.

00:38:20.020 Well, Charlie, I appreciate you.

00:38:21.220 I appreciate you being on the show.

00:38:22.260 How do we connect with you?

00:38:23.120 Let's say guys listening to this, they want to connect with you.

00:38:24.940 They resonate with your message.

00:38:26.160 I know you've got the book.

00:38:26.960 So tell us about that and then how we reach out.

00:38:29.260 Absolutely.

00:38:29.740 Everything I do is, is on my website, charlie-brenneman.com.

00:38:35.040 It's a little difficult to spell.

00:38:36.260 If you just Google Spaniard UFC, it'll come up.

00:38:39.020 All my social media links are there.

00:38:40.800 My book available is available there as well.

00:38:43.480 And, and one of the thing I'm trying to build most that I'm just, I believe in so much is

00:38:48.220 my blog.

00:38:48.840 I write on a weekly basis and, you know, I have plenty of nice, nice free resources that,

00:38:54.320 that you can get in return for supplying your email address.

00:38:56.680 But, you know, it's something that I really believe and I really trust in and I would

00:39:00.220 encourage your followers to check that out.

00:39:02.020 And I can pretty much guarantee that you'll enjoy my book.

00:39:05.480 I've gotten a lot of great feedback from it.

00:39:07.120 So, you know, I would appreciate any and all the support from, from you and your audiences

00:39:10.940 and I really appreciate your time.

00:39:13.320 Awesome, Charlie.

00:39:13.620 We'll make sure we link up all of that information in the show notes so the guys know exactly

00:39:16.560 where to turn, how to connect with you.

00:39:17.920 We'll get some guys your way, get them reading your book and connecting and I'm sure it'll

00:39:21.880 benefit everybody.

00:39:22.660 So I appreciate you and sharing some of your wisdom.

00:39:24.740 I appreciate you sharing your wisdom so I didn't have to learn about these UFC lessons

00:39:28.600 the hard way because that's not something that's on my alley.

00:39:31.380 Go do something else.

00:39:32.080 Start a podcast.

00:39:33.240 That's right.

00:39:33.860 That's right.

00:39:34.520 Charlie, I appreciate it.

00:39:35.220 Thanks for being on the show today, man.

00:39:36.280 Thanks a lot, Ryan.

00:39:36.780 There you have it guys, Mr. Charlie, the Spaniard Brenneman sharing his lessons learned from

00:39:42.740 the cage.

00:39:43.260 Again, if you're one of those few men who are action takers, I personally invite you to join

00:39:47.200 me and the men of the iron council.

00:39:48.660 You are going to get a ton out of this and actually start seeing results in your relationships,

00:39:53.060 your health, your wealth, and most importantly, yourself.

00:39:55.520 So head to orderofman.com slash iron council to get started right away.

00:39:59.080 And again, if you're interested in the details of the show, they can be found at orderofman.com

00:40:02.580 slash zero five four.

00:40:04.480 You can also join in the conversation we're having about masculinity, our Facebook group

00:40:08.340 at facebook.com slash groups slash order of man.

00:40:12.140 Guys, I look forward to talking to you next week, but until then take action and become

00:40:15.680 the man you were meant to be.

00:40:17.140 Thank you for listening to the order of man podcast.

00:40:19.920 You're ready to take charge of your life and be more of the man you were meant to be.

00:40:24.120 We invite you to join the order at orderofman.com.

Order of Man - March 29, 2016

OoM 054： Lessons Learned From an MMA Fighter with Charlie "The Spaniard" Brenneman

Episode Stats

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Order of Man - March 29, 2016

OoM 054： Lessons Learned From an MMA Fighter with Charlie &#x22;The Spaniard&#x22; Brenneman

Episode Stats

Summary

Transcript

OoM 054： Lessons Learned From an MMA Fighter with Charlie "The Spaniard" Brenneman