OoM 061： Tapping into the Power of Your Mind with Len Wright
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Summary
Len Wright is a Human Potential Coach who works with elite athletes, high level achievers, entrepreneurs, and dreamers to help them let go of unresolved issues, break through the barriers that hold them back, and reach even bigger and loftier goals faster.
Transcript
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We all know the mind to be the most powerful computing system known to man, but do we really
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know how to tap into it? My guest today sheds light on this amazing tool at our disposal,
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how we can tap into our subconscious, increase our focus, reduce overwhelm,
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and learn how to be fully present for every moment in our lives.
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You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest. Embrace your fears and boldly
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chart your own path. When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time, every time.
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You are not easily deterred or defeated, rugged, resilient, strong. This is your life. This is
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who you are. This is who you will become. At the end of the day, and after all is said and done,
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you can call yourself a man. Men, what's going on today? My name is Ryan Michler,
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and I am your host and the founder of Order of Man. Now, I know a ton of you have listened to
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every single episode to date, but if you're new here, I want to welcome you today. This is a show
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about all things manly, relationships, leadership, protecting your loved ones, learning, building
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wealth, starting businesses, and every other topic that is important to you as a man. We pull no
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punches, and we get right into the conversations here. No BS, no fluff, just information that you
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can actually use. So on that note, today we're going to talk about the power of the six inches
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between our ears, this incredible tool all of us have called our minds. But before we get into that,
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I want you to know that you can find all of the links, the show notes, the best quotes,
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all of the resources we talk about today at orderofman.com slash 061. We're also going to
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be having a discussion about this podcast and a ton of other conversations we're having in our
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closed Facebook group at facebook.com slash group slash order of man. We have now over 3,500 men there,
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so you're going to get some value in that Facebook group. Now, my guest today is Len Wright. He is a
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human potential coach. He works with subconscious performance enhancement to help people level up
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in every area of their life, whether that's business or health or relationships or building
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wealth. What he does is he works with elite athletes, high level achievers, entrepreneurs,
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leaders, and dreamers, and helps them let go of unresolved issues, break through the barriers that
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hold them back, and reach even bigger and loftier goals faster. Len works to bring out their personal
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authenticity, helping them see their unique gifts, and expressing them to live a life of passion,
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success, and happiness. Len, what's going on? Glad to have you on the show today, man.
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Hey, Ryan. I am so stoked to be on this show today. We're going to have a blast.
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Yes, we are, and it's going to be a good conversation, especially since I've been through a little bit of
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what you do and the results that have come from that, so I'm stoked to have you on. Why don't you
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briefly describe what it is you do, because I would not even begin to do it justice.
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Well, yeah, and I really appreciate and thank you for having me on the show, and you know what?
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It's something I struggle with, too. It's wild. People go, what do you do? And it really boils
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down to there's so much, because what I deal with is altered states in human consciousness,
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and I deal with change, personal change and transformation. So it comes across, or can come
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across very snake oil salesy type, you know, I can cure this. So I, a lot of times, you know,
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bring it to humor, which is a great equilibrium for anything like that. And so I say, usually I say,
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I'm a wizard. Can I say, I do wizardry stuff? Like, you know, I deal with people's subconscious,
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and I get rid of their limiting beliefs, and I teach them how to be able to come into their own
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true power. So tell me a little bit about why the work is so important. Let's maybe take it that
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route and talk about why it's so important that guys even consider this, you know, looking into
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their subconscious and tapping into this potential that they have within themselves.
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Yeah, well, I mean, it's the foundation of everything. You know, you can't name anything
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in life that doesn't come from our consciousness first. Our thoughts happen before anything is created,
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before anything is done, whether that's snapping at our child, or whether that's praising them,
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no matter what it is, it still all comes from thought, it comes from that deep seated belief
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system that we've created inside. And it comes from that mechanism inside. So for me, when I was young,
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that really, the mind and thinking and thought and all of that kind of stuff, you know, later,
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consciousness, really always appealed to me, because number one, we all have it,
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we all are dealing with it. Number two, is there's no real guide that we're given.
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When we're born, you know, that comes, you know, here's Len Wright's guide on how to run his brain,
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you know, you get one from microwave, right? But so, so that as well as I started studying when,
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you know, as I growing up, I started studying and seeing how some people excel in certain
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situations. And in the same situation, you know, as in twins or whatever, you'll have the other person
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do the complete opposite. And it's the same experience. So I always found it very,
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very compelling and interesting. And then from there, as I dove in further in my early 20s,
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I, I just found that it is the seat of everything. So that's why I like to build a huge,
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strong foundation for the building that is me. So that once that foundation is really strong and
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concrete in there, I understand myself, then everything I do, whether that's parenting or
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business or any kind of relationship I have, it actually is the reflection of what I am inside.
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You said something really fascinating to me, which I think everybody's probably aware of,
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but let's just delve into this a little bit deeper. You said that if you had two twins,
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for example, experience the exact same situation, they would have a different thought process about
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that. And so I'm curious why that is, because we hear things like you are the product of your
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environment, for example, but that's based on what you're saying. That's not entirely true.
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Right. It is, you know, it's partially true to a certain extent because our environment does shape
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certain things and controls that we have in the moment. But at the same time, it is really our
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perspective of what the moment is giving us that shapes how we go through it and what we do with it.
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If it's, if it really benefits us in the end or not, and I'm talking about any situation and that's
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where it gets really deep for a lot of people because they say, well, what about this? What
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about this trauma? What about, if you view every experience, and I'm not saying this is easy,
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it's a simple concept, but it's not easy to do. If you view every experience, instead of
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happening to you, happening for you, the perspective of how you go through it is one of a student.
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Learning from what the moment, what that experience is trying to teach you versus resisting what's
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happening in the moment and continually trying to push it away from us in some way, shape, and form.
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If you instead accept the moment for what it is and become that student, you open up within yourself
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new compartments, stuff that's down deep to become better, to be able to improve and to enjoy life more
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fully. That all sounds really good. How do we do it?
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Being present is, is first, you know, I don't know about you, Ryan, but everywhere we go,
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isn't it like distraction, the King? Oh yeah. You know, I mean, even now,
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as I'm having this interview, I can see my little light on my cell phone blinking.
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Yeah, exactly. And, and so very rarely we're fully present with what we're doing, you know, and, and
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again, I'll mention whether that's relationships with our children, our wife, our business or
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whatever, we're partially there and partially in another space, usually in our head somewhere.
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And whether it's be planning, whether it's talking to somebody else, whether it's doing whatever or,
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or berating ourself, whatever it is, we can't fully be empowered in that moment, only partially being
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present. So one of the things that I tell people to do is to start working on their, their level of
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distraction and simplifying, bringing their awareness back to their full moment of what's going on.
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And when a person does start training themselves to do that, because we do have to start, it's a
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habit of distraction that we've all got now. So, so once that barometer comes around, being present
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changes absolutely everything. It changes something, you know, with, with your mate. Most of the
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irritation comes from when we're not completely present. And what I was saying about being a
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student to the moment, being completely present to what the moment is giving us in the moment
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allows us to learn. If we're distracted, if we're resisting it, if we're, if we're doing somewhere,
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something somewhere else in our mind, we can't learn and be there for what that moment is trying
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to teach us. So thus, what ends up happening is we ends up having cycles in our life that continue on
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and on and on because the lesson we're never present to learn from it.
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How do you do that? Is that just a matter of turning off my cell phone or is this a matter
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of shifting my mentality? How do you actually make this work in your life?
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Shifting the mentality just to, to number one, to become aware that we are so distracted.
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You know, we know it on a logical level, but, but on a deeper level to stop, you know,
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a few times a day and just stop and become silent, become present to yourself, feel what you're,
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what's going on, see what's going on around you, your experience. But at the same time,
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try feeling inside what's going on. Listen to the voices that are going on inside your head,
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what it's telling you to do, why it's telling you to do it, all this chaos that's going on
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and just sit or stand and be, be present for that stillness, just for even a few moments.
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And you'll notice everything will come back to a more, what I call real moment because you're not
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living in this illusionary place in your mind. Cause none of that stuff that's going on in your
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mind is really happening in your moment. It's all illusion, right? You're planning something in
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the future. You're doing this, you're doing that, but it hasn't happened yet. What is happening
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in that moment is the only thing that's really real. A memory in the past that you're thinking
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of or a fight or something's going on in the past and you're, you're arguing with the person in your
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mind. That's all illusion because it's in the past. It's not happening right now. And the same
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with the future stuff. We're planning, we're worrying, we're all of that kind of stuff takes us
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out of our moment and actually gives us little to no presence for actually being aware of, you know,
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who we are in the moment. And it's makes that make, that's where reaction lives, right? As reaction
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lives in that place where you're so distracted, you just run the cycle again, whatever, maybe that's
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barking at somebody, or maybe that's just making yourself this slave and compromising yourself
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continually. When you, when you give yourself, and I say, start with just giving yourself a few times
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a day. I'm huge into meditation, no matter what kind it is. Anything that brings more stillness back
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into your life and the idea of contemplation and just sitting with the moment, becoming more aware
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and practicing that is of huge benefit. It's the only place where you can really learn.
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So this might be a little bit of a weird question, just because I'm trying to wrap my head around
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this and I know the guys are as well, is that as you're practicing being more present in the moment,
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I'm hesitant to even ask this question because I think this is actually defeating the purpose,
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but is there something that you're even looking for or asking yourself or is that stuff, should
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that be completely out of your mind? Tell me a little bit about that.
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Well, the only thing that we all have control of is there's only one thing. And I think I mentioned
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this, you know, when we spoke before, but it's focus. What we focus on grows. Okay. That's where we,
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we put our energy. We put our attention. It's the only thing we have full control of. So what I'm
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really alluding to with the silence and the getting present is gaining control over your focus again,
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right? Because that is really, if it's the only thing you have control of, really, that's your
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only job. You know, we're trying to do so much in the moment. And as you were saying, you know,
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should you be seeking something? Should you bringing yourself back into that where you can focus
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properly and just focus it on not the thoughts going through, but observing it, not having to do
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something, but noticing what you're being told in your mind again, to do, to do, to do next, to do,
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to do. And what happens if you don't do it? What just becoming that observer for a little bit
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in the chaos that's created within you can slow things down and stuff and not inside enough to
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where you can realize that you're not all of that, that the, we take on this identity that we're all
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this, you know, you're a parent, you're a boss, you're this, or you're that. And you're just
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running constantly. There's no time that we, we end up really feeling fulfilled because as you
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mentioned, we're always seeking something to do. And the reason is, is because the one thing that you
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do have to do, the one thing that you only have control of, you're not doing. And that's focus.
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If you, if you focus, if you focus on focusing, you know, if, if that's where your energy is, is,
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is making sure that what you're focusing on is all of your attention in that moment. So if with your,
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if you're with your child, you know, I mean, I see your posts with your boys and stuff like that.
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If you're with your boys, you're with your boys, you're not in your head planning the next day
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or paying your bills or going somewhere. You're with them fully. And you're focusing your
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attention. You're bringing your attention back to that continually because our minds will pull
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constantly. Right. And we get better and better and better at it, but focusing and being that focus,
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being present to that focus and aware of that is the only thing we have to do. It's the only thing
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we have full control of. So once you start doing that, then all of a sudden the chasing and everything
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else, it goes away. It diminishes because you're, you're doing the thing that you're meant to do.
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Sure. If, if, if we're like on this podcast, how would it be if I'm sitting here and I'm thinking
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about, you know, my wife coming home later and I'm thinking like puppy doing this and everything,
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I would be distracted. And when I do that right now, and I have those thoughts because I said that
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all of a sudden I lose train of my thought here. And so I can't be fully here and I'm not then thus
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fully empowered in my moment to do the best in my moment that I possibly can.
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So how do you combat the argument that to use that chess analogy of thinking, you know, seven
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moves ahead or whatever, in order to get ahead in life? Well, and, and it, you know, plan, there's
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nothing wrong with planning and thinking, but it's utilizing the tool of your mind in thinking versus
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it thinking you or it thinking through you. And the difference is, is, um, you know, and, and I've
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been here so I can understand this, you know, I'm speaking from a place of, yeah, I understand this,
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you know, you're sitting there and you're doing something. And then all of a sudden an idea pops
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into your head and says, Oh, go do this right now. And so you just jump up and you go do it
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like a mindless slave without going, I'm focused on this right now. I'll deal with that later.
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Right. And just being able to pass, we end up being slaves and running constantly all day and
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ending up all that energy being wasted and stolen from us at night. We just drop in bed. We're just
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wasted, you know, trying to be these, these great people, you know, trying to do our best,
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but all day, you know, it doesn't feel like you've chased things all day. Right. Right. You're
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just doing fires. Yeah. You're just doing fires instead of instead and realizing that every one
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of those fires is an invitation for you to look within yourself. So it brings a present to your
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moment. Boom. I'm not trying to run away from this fire or get it. You know, I'm trying to go,
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okay, so what does this fire really mean? What can I learn through so that this fire doesn't reoccur in
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my life? What is this fire trying to teach me? What can this, what can it teach me about being a better
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person? Guys, quick pause for a minute to tell you about our elite mastermind, the iron council.
00:15:52.440
By now I know you've probably heard about it, but we're a group of men working, not just talking
00:15:56.640
about this stuff, but working on becoming better men in every area of our lives. And what we're doing
00:16:01.340
is we're taking the information we learned about on this podcast and we're incorporating into our lives
00:16:06.240
so we can actually see the results. That's what we want. We want the results. So I want you to get
00:16:10.760
involved. Now we're close to our 100th member and I've got some big plans for that day,
00:16:14.880
which will happen in the next several weeks. This is a group designed to push you. It's designed
00:16:19.900
to test you. It's designed to challenge you. It's designed to get you to step outside of that
00:16:24.260
comfort zone and do some things that you would not normally do. And it's the only way, that's the
00:16:28.880
only way that you can see the real results that we want you to see in your life. So if you feel
00:16:33.500
yourself struggling in your relationship or your career or with your money or your health, you need
00:16:38.080
to join me and the rest of the men inside the iron council. We complete weekly assignments. We connect
00:16:42.560
with a battle brother. We meet each and every week and we actually, again, do the things that are
00:16:46.740
going to help you succeed massively in your life. So you can check that out at orderofman.com
00:16:51.340
slash iron council. And I look forward to seeing you on the inside. Now back to my interview with Len.
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So what do you do when you personally have overwhelmed? Because I can see for myself,
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I mean, I get busy throughout the day. I've got a thousand things to do. You have a thousand things to
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do. And I can see the benefit of what you're talking about, but I also worry that I won't be
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able to get everything done that I feel like needs to be done. So how do we accomplish that?
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Well, and it really is about a practice and it's about experience. So it's not something like I can
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be telling you guys all this, you know, all the listeners and stuff. And the arguments come up
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because it's like trying to explain, you know, I used to be in Muay Thai. So it's trying to explain a
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kick to you versus getting you to kick yourself. Right? So what I'm, I'm, you know, going to turn
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back on, on this, on you and the listeners is try this stuff. Try bringing more of that into your
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life and watching how you run with your mind, watching your thoughts, becoming more aware of
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them. I mean, when we, when we did our session together, Ryan, and we in process, I think you made
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the comment that the next day or the next couple of days, something to the effect of, you know,
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you're more aware of what's going on in your mind and those thoughts coming up. That's very valuable.
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It's a very valuable thing because that's the start of you actually running things versus this
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auto-generated mind of yours doing what it does, which is generating thought. And that's all it does.
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It just generates thought. It's up to us and our free will, what we focus our thought on. So it's,
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we don't have to think because it just generates thought. We have to focus what, where we're
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giving. So during our day, if we have focus and say you're doing, you know, you're doing a call,
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a sales call, or you're doing something, Ryan, you know, to be honest in that call, is it not,
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I mean, you were just saying about the cell phone, right? You can notice your cell phone beeping
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with this. There's always tuggings. So if you just, if you just move all of that off your plate and you
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just focus on exactly what you're doing in that moment, then all of a sudden that moment is,
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you get better results with it, which actually ends up, and you can only, you can only experience
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this by practicing it and testing it out, right? Over time. But things actually end up dropping
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off of your plate. Things end up moving so much smoother that instead of making five calls or five
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contacts to make something happen, because you're fully present in the first one, it only takes one.
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There's a guy named Stephen Kotler out there, K-O-T-L-E-R-E. He actually is studying the state
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of flow. And that's really what we're talking about here. We're talking about a state of extreme
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or intense focus and bringing your complete. What it enables you to do is to flow through that
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experience instead of pushing through the experience. When you're pushing through the experience,
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I mean, it's like anything. When you push or flow, there's a different amount of energy used.
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And that's with your day as well. If you're constantly chasing, if you're constantly putting
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out fires, if you're constantly doing that kind of stuff, and you're looking at everything like,
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oh, then all of a sudden it is going to feel heavy. It comes right back to when we started the
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conversation about perception, right? You perceive that as heavy. Granted, it will be heavy. And
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unfortunately, it doesn't look like the genie, you know, in my, I dream a genie. Your experience
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usually comes in the wrapping you don't like, right? So all of a sudden it's, that's overwhelm.
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Overwhelm is an invitation because obviously that's not a feel good thing. It's an invitation
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to look at what you're doing. It's a, it's a signal coming up in you going, hey, this isn't good for
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you. And there's another way to do this. So if you, so that's where you're talking about where
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it's actually everything there is to help and to serve you as opposed to work against you.
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Yeah. So you're not swimming upstream. You have a flow, you have a wind behind it at your back
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type of idea. You know, um, the right connections happen a lot smoother. Everything happens because
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you're fully present. You're, you're not having as many relationship problems because you're present
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with your, your mate or your significant other, um, or your child. So you don't have those things
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that are coming into your space and stealing your energy. You do everything better. Thus you need
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less energy to do it. It sounds a lot like what I would call if an athlete would, would be in the
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zone. Yep. For example. Yep. It is exactly the same type of state. Um, you know, it's not the
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same as I, I mean, we, we both know Charlie Brenneman, so it's not like when he gets in the
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octagon, it's not the same state, but yet on a deep level it is because what he says is, I mean,
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he doesn't think in that state when he's in the octagon, he doesn't think. So that's like every
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other athlete I've ever worked with. I've worked with other, um, world-class kickboxers and that
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they don't think when they're in there, they just flow. So that's a huge piece of evidence for us
00:21:42.740
as to how to get into flow in our day. Don't think. And that's really how we not think is by
00:21:50.080
focusing, taking control of our thoughts, taking control of our mind and focusing and going, no,
00:21:55.580
no, this is what I'm doing right now. This is where I am 100%. And you have to, you will have to
00:22:03.100
keep continually bringing your focus back. It's an, it's like working out or it's like anything
00:22:07.880
else. You know, it's a muscle that you need to habitually grow. But, but the more you do that,
00:22:12.980
you notice that your moments also become more meaningful because you're actually there
00:22:16.320
to enjoy them instead of somewhere else, just sort of ghost walking through the moment.
00:22:22.440
Yeah. And I really like what you said about effectiveness, because I'll be frank with you.
00:22:25.260
When I went through the session with you at first, I was a little bit like, I don't have time to sit
00:22:30.340
out for an hour and to worry about my feelings. I've got things to do, but I noticed over the
00:22:37.700
past couple of days or over the next several days of, of internalizing what it is we talked about,
00:22:43.300
that I was a lot more effective in the way that I was approaching things. And I could see my
00:22:49.060
relationships working and developing from that and even business and all of these things.
00:22:54.240
So though, I want to shift directions here a little bit, because one of the things that we
00:22:58.280
identified is that I tend to be a competitive person by nature. And sometimes I look at what
00:23:05.000
somebody else is doing and that's discouraging to me. And you helped me identify how that's not a
00:23:11.800
discouragement. That's actually a trait that's helping you. How do we begin to identify these
00:23:18.080
types of things in our own lives? Every time we say, I want to do this, right? Like I want to be
00:23:23.740
great at this. I feel this calling inside to be more than I am right now. And I want to do this
00:23:29.560
instantly inside of yourself. There will be another belief that surfaces. I guarantee you, man,
00:23:36.140
it will, it will surface because it's the nature of duality. It's the nature of how the mind works,
00:23:40.820
right? So it has to bring up its opposite. So if I say, I want to be great inside, I'm going to get
00:23:45.720
something. You're not good enough to be great. You're great. Why does that happen?
00:23:49.640
Well, number one thing is, how can you have free will and a choice with only one option?
00:23:56.280
You can't, right? So this universe and how our life works is there has to be a duality
00:24:01.900
to have free choice. So if I say black, you'll have to say white.
00:24:07.900
Right. You can't know tall if there's no short.
00:24:11.320
So understanding that concept helps us understand that our mind is just a generation of ideas
00:24:18.520
to equal out and, and all energy in our universe is all searching all the time to be able to be
00:24:25.120
equal out. Right. It's, it's looking for equilibrium. We're all, that's what overwhelm
00:24:29.800
everything. Everything is looking to be able to balance us back out again. And we resist it and
00:24:34.700
we look at it and go, no, we don't want that. And, and everything else we bounce around in it.
00:24:38.880
But, but the whole process of looking within and asking ourselves these questions and noticing
00:24:44.300
being there present to the point where when those beliefs come up, when we say, okay,
00:24:49.220
I want to do this, I want to go take this course, or I want to, you know, I want to hire Len
00:24:54.380
and, and instantly money comes up or instantly something else comes up or geez, I don't want
00:25:00.460
to be vulnerable. All of the things that come up are invitations for us to be able to look within
00:25:06.320
and go, why do we believe that about ourselves? Is that really true? Like, is it really true about
00:25:11.180
this? Or is this one of the things that I say to myself as a story or as an excuse or as a limiting
00:25:17.420
belief? And really, as one of my great teachers, um, Guy Finley says, you know, in one of his quotes
00:25:23.100
is if you take the example of a sofa, a couch in the, in the, a window, and while it's in that window
00:25:30.640
and parked there and the light, the rays of sunlight are shining on it, it can do nothing else but fade.
00:25:37.040
Unless it's moved, it's sitting there, it's going to be changed, whether it likes it or not, that,
00:25:42.060
that light is going to change it. So what I'm saying is the more that we start asking these
00:25:46.120
questions and we focus within and, and look as a student instead and learn from these experiences,
00:25:51.740
that light of understanding actually changes us. We don't have to change. We have to be honest and
00:26:00.780
vulnerable to ourselves and look at where we're already getting in our way and letting ourselves down
00:26:05.260
and believing this shit that we're telling ourselves. It's just the other side of what
00:26:10.820
we really want. So you have the free will, you have the choice. Remember, focus is the only thing
00:26:16.260
you control. So now put your focus on what you really know to believe to be true, which is the
00:26:21.020
moment that you want to be great. You look at the fork in the road, you look at I'm shit. I don't,
00:26:27.200
I'm don't value myself. I'm not good enough. And then, you know what you're telling yourself inside.
00:26:31.860
And then you look at what you really want to accomplish. There's a reason why, what you want
00:26:36.600
to accomplish, what you want to be, whether that's a great parent or, uh, you know, the next president
00:26:41.960
or, or beyond whatever that is, that calling is there for a reason. You feel that for a reason
00:26:48.760
it's, it's bubbling forth, but it never bubbles forth without the courage and the bravery and the
00:26:55.400
willingness to be able to cultivate it. And that's what those ideas will come up, those limiting beliefs
00:27:00.540
and their gifts to be able to look at ourselves, become better. That's how you get to that
00:27:05.560
greatness. Well, and I think you're talking about, this is a current, uh, reoccurring theme. As I
00:27:10.200
continue to have conversations, I think we've had close to 60 conversations now with men, which is
00:27:15.480
awesome. You're doing a fantastic job. I appreciate that. Yeah. But what, what I was going to suggest is
00:27:20.880
this is about being deliberate, right? Because you talk about the sofa and the window, it's going to be
00:27:25.740
changed. We don't have to be acted upon. We can actually be deliberate about the way that we're
00:27:31.720
going to change our life. If we approach it the way that you're suggesting we do.
00:27:35.240
Yeah. Like I, I, like I said, the only job we have is our focus. The experience is already given to us
00:27:41.460
by our partner in life, right? Life, life takes care of the, the, the, um, the whole play. It takes
00:27:48.680
care of all the other characters. It takes care of what we need so that we're given experiences,
00:27:53.800
experiences, scripts to learn from. So I walk into, um, you know, I walk into a podcast and I have,
00:28:02.480
you know, I may have little jitters and stuff and may get excited beforehand. That's all learning for
00:28:07.620
me of who I am and the greatness that I'm getting into. Every moment that we go into is there for us
00:28:15.520
to step up to. We show up fully. We're there. We're present. It will teach us how to be better,
00:28:22.500
whether it's our child saying something, whether it's our wife, you know, whether, or, or significant
00:28:27.780
other smiling or, or caring or being irritated. Everything is really a mirror to our insides.
00:28:36.400
And if we see things like that, all of a sudden stuff starts showing up. You know, I, I seen a
00:28:40.600
person that I just, man, they just irritate the hell out of me. I just, oh, instead of before how I
00:28:47.420
used to be like, I don't want to spend time with that person. That person's a jerk, blah, blah, blah,
00:28:51.300
blah, blah, blah. I now look at that person and go, what about that person that irritates me?
00:28:56.360
Cause there must be something in that person that I'm seeing that I'm getting.
00:29:00.520
That's that irritant that I have inside of me too.
00:29:05.940
Cause I wouldn't, it wouldn't have, it wouldn't bother me if that wasn't already inside of me.
00:29:10.580
And so instead of hiding it, those dark pieces of ourselves. And instead of that, we look at them,
00:29:16.040
we accept them and we learn from them. And by doing that, it, it, it's much easier to learn and
00:29:23.640
to flow and, but it all, it all comes from being able to focus. And so, you know, when I started our
00:29:29.720
conversation, that's why we started there was distraction is our enemy. You know, it's, it,
00:29:36.340
it can take our life force away from us and steal our moments. I always look at, I always look at
00:29:42.540
tourists, man. It's so funny. They're always living behind the lens. You know, you see those
00:29:47.160
tourists, right? And their cameras, they weren't really in the trip. They were recording the trip
00:29:53.300
so that they can view it over and over again, but they weren't living in fully in there.
00:29:58.840
Right. In which case they could have done that through YouTube. They didn't even need to go
00:30:01.860
experience it themselves. Right. That's exactly it. That's exactly. And, and that's what we all do
00:30:05.600
with our moments. We're constantly trying to get through our moment to accomplish something,
00:30:10.600
to get it off of our plate instead of realizing this is not a dress rehearsal.
00:30:17.980
This, this is kind of the concept of working for the weekend.
00:30:21.480
Yeah. Yeah, it is. It's, I mean, you see guys working 40 hours a week, five, six days,
00:30:25.820
seven days a week, and hopefully they'll get one day off. And, and, and for the six days out of the
00:30:30.520
seven, they tell themselves they're miserable just in order to accomplish that 12 hours or 18 hours of
00:30:35.540
happiness. Well, Ryan, I was, you know, I had a really great experience as a gift. Um, when my dad was
00:30:40.380
passing away, it was probably two days before he passed away and he was sitting on the edge of the
00:30:43.740
bed and I was sitting with him and, um, he, he was in really bad shape and he was dying of cancer and
00:30:49.320
it was really a bad, bad, bad time for him. And I remember him just saying like, what's it all for?
00:30:55.920
What was all this for? And it was a really huge impact and a huge gift he gave me, uh, along with
00:31:02.340
many others at that time. But, but that was a huge thing. Cause I sat there next to him looking at,
00:31:07.260
I'm going, I don't have to do that. I don't, I don't have to do what he just did. What? Thank
00:31:12.220
you for saying that. Like that just changed everything as perceptions tend to do. And so I,
00:31:18.320
I've, you know, I, I really, especially from that moment, everything we go through
00:31:23.580
is something we get to go through. And, and, and if we, and if we view it as something,
00:31:29.960
we just have to get through all the time. That's what our experience will be. We'll end up in our
00:31:36.020
life and it'll be a regret instead of living fully showing up authentically as much as you can
00:31:43.180
today. And then tomorrow, because you did it today, it's easier tomorrow. You do more tomorrow
00:31:47.240
and you grow. And every day you become better than the person you were before. And that's really
00:31:54.060
the juice of life. We're learning machines. You know, a prime example of that, I actually did a
00:31:59.980
keynote presentation for a group here in Utah. And I remember before I stepped onto stage, I got the
00:32:07.580
jitters. I was nervous, a little bit fearful. And I was trying to be very present because I know
00:32:12.060
we've talked about this and I thought, okay, why am I scared? And the reason I was scared was because
00:32:16.260
I cared about how it went. And because I cared about how it went, it reminded me that I spent a lot
00:32:23.080
of time preparing for this keynote presentation, which was able to bring some calmness to me because
00:32:29.320
I knew I prepared because I cared about it. And I knew I cared about it because I was nervous before
00:32:35.580
I stepped foot on stage. Yeah. And, and notice where your mind went was to skip the event and,
00:32:43.020
and give you an idea of what a pot, one of the possibilities of the, out of the millions,
00:32:48.260
you know, infinity possibilities that could have happened, gives you something that it might not be
00:32:52.320
able to work out with. Sure. Right. And so that's where presence comes in because then if you,
00:32:57.280
if you dismiss that thought and go, you know what, that's only one possibility. And I'm going to focus
00:33:01.580
completely on just doing the best job and enjoying this the most that I possibly can and have that
00:33:08.760
trust and belief that it's just going to go the best that it possibly can. And that's it. And when
00:33:13.460
you do that, your focus is there. So, so you're completely focused. It's like, again, I'm going to
00:33:17.960
mention Charlie. It's like Charlie or any, any other fighter walking into the octagon. You're
00:33:21.920
walking up on stage. They're walking into the octagon. The thought goes away. And instead you
00:33:25.540
just be sure. And when you do that, that's the most powerful moments that happen in your life
00:33:31.920
because you're fully there. You, a magic happens through you that, you know, those become the best
00:33:40.540
times. I mean, think of the memories behind you. Usually those memories, uh, the best ones are
00:33:45.460
because you are completely fully there in the moment.
00:33:51.560
And knowing that we, you know, one of the things that we all are, are folly about is we, we treat
00:33:55.920
this life like, like we have forever. Like it's never going to end.
00:34:01.540
You know, in reality, this, like I said, it's not the dress rehearsal. This is it. So today,
00:34:06.620
today counts. You know, it's like, it's game day. It counts. And, and what we tend to do is we
00:34:13.580
tend to excuse ourselves out of those moments. And then we distract ourselves because we're scared
00:34:17.700
of the greatness that we maybe could be, you know, it all comes back to that, just being present and,
00:34:22.220
and realizing that, you know, it being present is your job. That's the focus is it. Just focus just
00:34:30.140
on that. And other, other things, watch how the flow just happens and things take, get taken care of.
00:34:36.800
Well, and we're winding down on time a little bit. I do want to just briefly skim the surface and I'm
00:34:40.940
going to give, I'm going to give you an opportunity to share a little bit more about where we can find
00:34:44.100
you. I do want to skim the surface on limiting beliefs because I think this is something that
00:34:48.280
everybody understands that they have. I don't know how aware of it that they are. And I don't know to
00:34:55.880
what degree they can address these things. So just talk with me briefly about how to become more aware
00:35:01.740
of your limiting beliefs and maybe where some of those things are coming from.
00:35:06.300
Where they're coming from, it could be a myriad of sources. It's the experiences in our past.
00:35:10.140
You know, you may have been a child and something happened. You go through that experience and then
00:35:14.260
a parent or an adult of something tells you, this is what this means. And it's just accepted. It's
00:35:20.480
just, it goes in without thinking. Maybe it's through school, maybe it's through our social
00:35:24.040
connections, parents, whatever it was. I mean, we've all had various different degrees and that's why
00:35:28.800
the experience of life is different for each one of us. And we were mentioning about the twins
00:35:32.340
before, right? You know how the experience, it's how you look at that experience going through it.
00:35:36.280
So our belief systems, unfortunately, are usually a hodgepodge of experiences and convoluted filters
00:35:45.620
in how we threw them. And that's why some of those limiting beliefs are crazy and not logical and not
00:35:52.620
true. And if you told somebody else what they are, they just look at you really weirdly because they
00:35:59.100
don't have that same limiting belief that you do. Well, and the challenge is, is we hide those from
00:36:03.520
ourselves because we really don't want to see them about ourselves. What if they're true? Right?
00:36:07.360
So we, we hide them. And that's really, I mean, it comes back to being able to, um, through some
00:36:12.680
sort of practice, whether it's meditation or whether it's just being present to yourself, being able to
00:36:16.280
listen to what that is going on in your head. I mean, most people that I work with at the start,
00:36:21.320
when we start working together, they, they hadn't even been aware that they were saying this stuff to
00:36:25.580
themselves. And, and I stopped them. And I, the first piece of homework is for the next week to just
00:36:32.480
bring yourself aware to what you're saying to yourself about your life experience. What commentary,
00:36:38.040
you know, what, what are you doing? And then ask yourself a couple of questions after that. Would you
00:36:42.580
treat your child that way? Yeah. Is, is what you're, is how you're treating yourself inside from love
00:36:50.420
or from fear? We are our own beings and how we treat ourselves is extremely important. And so seeing a
00:36:59.840
limiting belief and then looking at it and realizing, you know, inside, because those limiting beliefs come
00:37:05.380
along with a lot of judgment, realizing how we treat ourselves. And then, you know, that really got me
00:37:11.660
with, when I started asking myself, it was like, would I treat my daughter this way? And I thought, yeah, I
00:37:15.540
didn't know, no, that at that time, no, I wouldn't have treated my daughter this way. This is, this is a slave
00:37:21.400
driver at the time. I, I, how I treated myself. And once I started realizing that I became like that
00:37:27.300
coach, that percent, that perception opening saying, wow, this is how I talk to myself inside.
00:37:34.520
I'm, I'm not my own cheerleader. I'm, I'm freaking my own enemy. And this is really the beginning of
00:37:41.160
that wisdom. It's the beginning of looking inside and examining who we are in each and every experience
00:37:46.840
in situation. So, so that's, I mean, that's a great place to start is just, I mean, I, I used to
00:37:52.120
actually a long, long time ago, I wore an elastic band on my wrist. And so it reminded me of going
00:37:58.740
inside because I would forget my way and I'd get lost in thought and I'd be off. And then I'd, you
00:38:02.840
know, an hour or two hours later, I'd go, oh crap, I was trying to meditate or I was trying to,
00:38:06.880
trying to put myself back. And then I'd see the elastic band. I'd go, oh yeah, okay, okay. So in the moment
00:38:11.600
without judging myself, but watching, cause I would judge myself watching and observing myself go,
00:38:16.500
holy cow, I'm being hard on myself for even doing that. And then noticing it's like,
00:38:21.000
that's not really fair. How can I learn by always being down on myself? Right? So it's,
00:38:26.160
it's, it's really about, you know, beginning to have a relationship with yourself inside.
00:38:31.840
You have beginning to see how you treat yourself, how you motivate yourself. What do you say? And,
00:38:36.540
and really just asking logically, does this freaking make sense? Is this really going to empower me?
00:38:42.640
Is this really going to get the results that I'm really wanting from my life?
00:38:47.840
Love it. Well, then, like I said, we're winding down on time. Let me ask you this additional
00:38:51.500
question, which I did prepare you for. And that is, what does it mean to be a man?
00:38:55.240
To be imperfect, to be learning, to be learning constantly. Um, being a man, I, you know,
00:39:03.760
I I'm learning a lot about masculine and feminine. And I'm realizing that, um, to be a man, a lot of
00:39:12.000
times people believe it's so many identities that they put on. Uh, you have to be this, you have to
00:39:17.900
be that you have to be strong. You have to be, I think the, what it means to be a man is to really
00:39:24.080
be aware of yourself because by doing that in our children, in our relationships, we add so much of
00:39:32.620
a ripple of impact. You know, I mean, women are, you know, mothers and, and, and women in general are,
00:39:38.160
are so important to our society, but we are as well. It's a 50, 50 deal. Nothing can be created
00:39:43.220
without of it. So I don't think we give ourselves as men, the leeway to be human. We, we, I create an
00:39:50.600
identity that, that has these certain rules and they confine and limit us. But instead, I think
00:39:58.880
the experience isn't as much male or female as really deep down it's being human.
00:40:05.020
And that's a great answer. And, and Len, honestly, one that I hadn't heard of, or even
00:40:08.340
really considered all that much. So that's, that's some valuable insight. So if somebody is listening to
00:40:12.820
this and, and I know that there's guys that are thinking, wow, I really want to learn more about
00:40:16.580
this because I'm, I'm even in that stage right now, especially after having gone through some of this
00:40:20.180
myself with you, how do we reach out to you? How do we connect with you and learn more about the work
00:40:24.280
you're doing? Oh, thanks Ryan. Well, my site is a triple W dot Zen Len coaching.com Zen Len coaching.com.
00:40:33.040
And yeah, I'm a little intense. I give a new meaning to Zen and I, uh, I claim it fully. It's my
00:40:38.000
meaning. And, uh, and so, yeah, I mean, I'm open to discussions. I love these types of, uh, of
00:40:43.300
discussions. And if people are really interested in their own consciousness and becoming better and
00:40:47.760
understanding who they truly are inside more and, and moving through life from that, uh, I would love
00:40:53.840
to be able to talk to them. So, you know, email me off my site. I'm on Facebook as well. Um, reach out
00:40:59.100
and say hello. Awesome. We'll make sure we link that up in the show notes. So all the guys can know
00:41:03.360
where to find you and track you down. Len, this has been just a powerful and really fascinating
00:41:07.060
conversation. I want to thank you for joining us on the show today. Oh, I want to thank you for
00:41:10.560
having me. And I've, it is truly been a blast. I mean, it was the intention we set and I think we
00:41:15.260
hit the mark and I hope the listeners got a lot of, uh, of good nuggets out there and, and can use it
00:41:19.980
for personal change to become better tomorrow. There you have it guys. Mr. Len Wright shedding some
00:41:25.500
light on this tool. That is the mind. Now I encourage you to reach out to him. I encourage you to try
00:41:29.640
the things Len mentioned in your life. You will see results in your ability to take charge of your
00:41:34.320
brain and use it as this powerful tool to create the life that you want. And in the meantime, go
00:41:40.060
check out the iron council on elite group of brothers inside the iron council. They're going
00:41:44.520
to push you. They're going to question you. They're going to test you. And they're going to hold your
00:41:48.240
feet to the fire, which is exactly what each and every one of us need to achieve big things in life.
00:41:53.500
That's what it's going to take to shake you out of the life that you might currently find yourself
00:41:57.240
in. So head to order of man.com slash iron council, and you can join us right now. Again,
00:42:01.960
all the details of the show can be found at order of man.com slash zero six one. And you can join in
00:42:06.160
the conversation we're having about masculinity in our Facebook group at facebook.com slash groups
00:42:10.500
slash order of man guys. I look forward to talking to you next week, but until then take action and
00:42:16.360
become the man you were meant to be. Thank you for listening to the order of man podcast.
00:42:21.100
You're ready to take charge of your life and be more of the man you were meant to be.
00:42:24.900
We invite you to join the order at order of man.com.