Order of Man - OoM 061： Tapping into the Power of Your Mind with Len Wright

00:00:00.000 We all know the mind to be the most powerful computing system known to man, but do we really

00:00:04.380 know how to tap into it? My guest today sheds light on this amazing tool at our disposal,

00:00:09.060 how we can tap into our subconscious, increase our focus, reduce overwhelm,

00:00:13.200 and learn how to be fully present for every moment in our lives.

00:00:17.820 You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest. Embrace your fears and boldly

00:00:22.340 chart your own path. When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time, every time.

00:00:27.720 You are not easily deterred or defeated, rugged, resilient, strong. This is your life. This is

00:00:34.700 who you are. This is who you will become. At the end of the day, and after all is said and done,

00:00:40.420 you can call yourself a man. Men, what's going on today? My name is Ryan Michler,

00:00:45.520 and I am your host and the founder of Order of Man. Now, I know a ton of you have listened to

00:00:49.040 every single episode to date, but if you're new here, I want to welcome you today. This is a show

00:00:53.720 about all things manly, relationships, leadership, protecting your loved ones, learning, building

00:00:58.600 wealth, starting businesses, and every other topic that is important to you as a man. We pull no

00:01:03.880 punches, and we get right into the conversations here. No BS, no fluff, just information that you

00:01:08.840 can actually use. So on that note, today we're going to talk about the power of the six inches

00:01:13.480 between our ears, this incredible tool all of us have called our minds. But before we get into that,

00:01:18.700 I want you to know that you can find all of the links, the show notes, the best quotes,

00:01:23.120 all of the resources we talk about today at orderofman.com slash 061. We're also going to

00:01:28.740 be having a discussion about this podcast and a ton of other conversations we're having in our

00:01:32.960 closed Facebook group at facebook.com slash group slash order of man. We have now over 3,500 men there,

00:01:39.780 so you're going to get some value in that Facebook group. Now, my guest today is Len Wright. He is a

00:01:44.640 human potential coach. He works with subconscious performance enhancement to help people level up

00:01:50.180 in every area of their life, whether that's business or health or relationships or building

00:01:54.620 wealth. What he does is he works with elite athletes, high level achievers, entrepreneurs,

00:01:58.700 leaders, and dreamers, and helps them let go of unresolved issues, break through the barriers that

00:02:03.740 hold them back, and reach even bigger and loftier goals faster. Len works to bring out their personal

00:02:09.740 authenticity, helping them see their unique gifts, and expressing them to live a life of passion,

00:02:15.800 success, and happiness. Len, what's going on? Glad to have you on the show today, man.

00:02:21.200 Hey, Ryan. I am so stoked to be on this show today. We're going to have a blast.

00:02:25.220 Yes, we are, and it's going to be a good conversation, especially since I've been through a little bit of

00:02:28.860 what you do and the results that have come from that, so I'm stoked to have you on. Why don't you

00:02:32.920 briefly describe what it is you do, because I would not even begin to do it justice.

00:02:38.700 Well, yeah, and I really appreciate and thank you for having me on the show, and you know what?

00:02:42.840 It's something I struggle with, too. It's wild. People go, what do you do? And it really boils

00:02:48.660 down to there's so much, because what I deal with is altered states in human consciousness,

00:02:54.600 and I deal with change, personal change and transformation. So it comes across, or can come

00:03:01.560 across very snake oil salesy type, you know, I can cure this. So I, a lot of times, you know,

00:03:09.520 bring it to humor, which is a great equilibrium for anything like that. And so I say, usually I say,

00:03:15.480 I'm a wizard. Can I say, I do wizardry stuff? Like, you know, I deal with people's subconscious,

00:03:20.160 and I get rid of their limiting beliefs, and I teach them how to be able to come into their own

00:03:24.920 true power. So tell me a little bit about why the work is so important. Let's maybe take it that

00:03:29.960 route and talk about why it's so important that guys even consider this, you know, looking into

00:03:34.480 their subconscious and tapping into this potential that they have within themselves.

00:03:38.120 Yeah, well, I mean, it's the foundation of everything. You know, you can't name anything

00:03:42.600 in life that doesn't come from our consciousness first. Our thoughts happen before anything is created,

00:03:49.600 before anything is done, whether that's snapping at our child, or whether that's praising them,

00:03:55.000 no matter what it is, it still all comes from thought, it comes from that deep seated belief

00:04:00.280 system that we've created inside. And it comes from that mechanism inside. So for me, when I was young,

00:04:07.340 that really, the mind and thinking and thought and all of that kind of stuff, you know, later,

00:04:13.340 consciousness, really always appealed to me, because number one, we all have it,

00:04:18.460 we all are dealing with it. Number two, is there's no real guide that we're given.

00:04:24.420 When we're born, you know, that comes, you know, here's Len Wright's guide on how to run his brain,

00:04:28.860 you know, you get one from microwave, right? But so, so that as well as I started studying when,

00:04:34.340 you know, as I growing up, I started studying and seeing how some people excel in certain

00:04:39.100 situations. And in the same situation, you know, as in twins or whatever, you'll have the other person

00:04:45.120 do the complete opposite. And it's the same experience. So I always found it very,

00:04:49.920 very compelling and interesting. And then from there, as I dove in further in my early 20s,

00:04:55.520 I, I just found that it is the seat of everything. So that's why I like to build a huge,

00:05:02.440 strong foundation for the building that is me. So that once that foundation is really strong and

00:05:08.420 concrete in there, I understand myself, then everything I do, whether that's parenting or

00:05:14.600 business or any kind of relationship I have, it actually is the reflection of what I am inside.

00:05:20.740 You said something really fascinating to me, which I think everybody's probably aware of,

00:05:25.160 but let's just delve into this a little bit deeper. You said that if you had two twins,

00:05:29.540 for example, experience the exact same situation, they would have a different thought process about

00:05:34.000 that. And so I'm curious why that is, because we hear things like you are the product of your

00:05:39.940 environment, for example, but that's based on what you're saying. That's not entirely true.

00:05:44.160 Right. It is, you know, it's partially true to a certain extent because our environment does shape

00:05:49.080 certain things and controls that we have in the moment. But at the same time, it is really our

00:05:54.240 perspective of what the moment is giving us that shapes how we go through it and what we do with it.

00:06:01.860 If it's, if it really benefits us in the end or not, and I'm talking about any situation and that's

00:06:06.740 where it gets really deep for a lot of people because they say, well, what about this? What

00:06:09.820 about this trauma? What about, if you view every experience, and I'm not saying this is easy,

00:06:16.100 it's a simple concept, but it's not easy to do. If you view every experience, instead of

00:06:21.880 happening to you, happening for you, the perspective of how you go through it is one of a student.

00:06:28.720 Learning from what the moment, what that experience is trying to teach you versus resisting what's

00:06:35.780 happening in the moment and continually trying to push it away from us in some way, shape, and form.

00:06:41.880 If you instead accept the moment for what it is and become that student, you open up within yourself

00:06:49.600 new compartments, stuff that's down deep to become better, to be able to improve and to enjoy life more

00:06:57.500 fully. That all sounds really good. How do we do it?

00:07:00.440 Being present is, is first, you know, I don't know about you, Ryan, but everywhere we go,

00:07:04.780 isn't it like distraction, the King? Oh yeah. You know, I mean, even now,

00:07:08.440 as I'm having this interview, I can see my little light on my cell phone blinking.

00:07:11.560 Yeah, exactly. And, and so very rarely we're fully present with what we're doing, you know, and, and

00:07:17.840 again, I'll mention whether that's relationships with our children, our wife, our business or

00:07:22.060 whatever, we're partially there and partially in another space, usually in our head somewhere.

00:07:28.580 And whether it's be planning, whether it's talking to somebody else, whether it's doing whatever or,

00:07:33.100 or berating ourself, whatever it is, we can't fully be empowered in that moment, only partially being

00:07:39.440 present. So one of the things that I tell people to do is to start working on their, their level of

00:07:45.140 distraction and simplifying, bringing their awareness back to their full moment of what's going on.

00:07:52.800 And when a person does start training themselves to do that, because we do have to start, it's a

00:07:57.580 habit of distraction that we've all got now. So, so once that barometer comes around, being present

00:08:03.320 changes absolutely everything. It changes something, you know, with, with your mate. Most of the

00:08:08.120 irritation comes from when we're not completely present. And what I was saying about being a

00:08:13.280 student to the moment, being completely present to what the moment is giving us in the moment

00:08:17.500 allows us to learn. If we're distracted, if we're resisting it, if we're, if we're doing somewhere,

00:08:22.520 something somewhere else in our mind, we can't learn and be there for what that moment is trying

00:08:29.220 to teach us. So thus, what ends up happening is we ends up having cycles in our life that continue on

00:08:34.240 and on and on because the lesson we're never present to learn from it.

00:08:39.160 How do you do that? Is that just a matter of turning off my cell phone or is this a matter

00:08:44.560 of shifting my mentality? How do you actually make this work in your life?

00:08:47.900 Shifting the mentality just to, to number one, to become aware that we are so distracted.

00:08:53.260 You know, we know it on a logical level, but, but on a deeper level to stop, you know,

00:08:58.360 a few times a day and just stop and become silent, become present to yourself, feel what you're,

00:09:05.540 what's going on, see what's going on around you, your experience. But at the same time,

00:09:10.320 try feeling inside what's going on. Listen to the voices that are going on inside your head,

00:09:15.800 what it's telling you to do, why it's telling you to do it, all this chaos that's going on

00:09:21.240 and just sit or stand and be, be present for that stillness, just for even a few moments.

00:09:29.040 And you'll notice everything will come back to a more, what I call real moment because you're not

00:09:36.720 living in this illusionary place in your mind. Cause none of that stuff that's going on in your

00:09:41.020 mind is really happening in your moment. It's all illusion, right? You're planning something in

00:09:45.460 the future. You're doing this, you're doing that, but it hasn't happened yet. What is happening

00:09:49.720 in that moment is the only thing that's really real. A memory in the past that you're thinking

00:09:55.280 of or a fight or something's going on in the past and you're, you're arguing with the person in your

00:10:00.020 mind. That's all illusion because it's in the past. It's not happening right now. And the same

00:10:05.000 with the future stuff. We're planning, we're worrying, we're all of that kind of stuff takes us

00:10:09.420 out of our moment and actually gives us little to no presence for actually being aware of, you know,

00:10:17.600 who we are in the moment. And it's makes that make, that's where reaction lives, right? As reaction

00:10:22.880 lives in that place where you're so distracted, you just run the cycle again, whatever, maybe that's

00:10:27.920 barking at somebody, or maybe that's just making yourself this slave and compromising yourself

00:10:32.680 continually. When you, when you give yourself, and I say, start with just giving yourself a few times

00:10:38.500 a day. I'm huge into meditation, no matter what kind it is. Anything that brings more stillness back

00:10:46.020 into your life and the idea of contemplation and just sitting with the moment, becoming more aware

00:10:52.560 and practicing that is of huge benefit. It's the only place where you can really learn.

00:10:59.380 So this might be a little bit of a weird question, just because I'm trying to wrap my head around

00:11:02.980 this and I know the guys are as well, is that as you're practicing being more present in the moment,

00:11:07.840 I'm hesitant to even ask this question because I think this is actually defeating the purpose,

00:11:12.380 but is there something that you're even looking for or asking yourself or is that stuff, should

00:11:16.820 that be completely out of your mind? Tell me a little bit about that.

00:11:19.500 Well, the only thing that we all have control of is there's only one thing. And I think I mentioned

00:11:24.100 this, you know, when we spoke before, but it's focus. What we focus on grows. Okay. That's where we,

00:11:31.280 we put our energy. We put our attention. It's the only thing we have full control of. So what I'm

00:11:36.880 really alluding to with the silence and the getting present is gaining control over your focus again,

00:11:44.340 right? Because that is really, if it's the only thing you have control of, really, that's your

00:11:48.780 only job. You know, we're trying to do so much in the moment. And as you were saying, you know,

00:11:52.640 should you be seeking something? Should you bringing yourself back into that where you can focus

00:11:57.860 properly and just focus it on not the thoughts going through, but observing it, not having to do

00:12:04.260 something, but noticing what you're being told in your mind again, to do, to do, to do next, to do,

00:12:08.660 to do. And what happens if you don't do it? What just becoming that observer for a little bit

00:12:13.000 in the chaos that's created within you can slow things down and stuff and not inside enough to

00:12:21.340 where you can realize that you're not all of that, that the, we take on this identity that we're all

00:12:27.520 this, you know, you're a parent, you're a boss, you're this, or you're that. And you're just

00:12:30.860 running constantly. There's no time that we, we end up really feeling fulfilled because as you

00:12:37.940 mentioned, we're always seeking something to do. And the reason is, is because the one thing that you

00:12:43.600 do have to do, the one thing that you only have control of, you're not doing. And that's focus.

00:12:50.760 If you, if you focus, if you focus on focusing, you know, if, if that's where your energy is, is,

00:12:59.100 is making sure that what you're focusing on is all of your attention in that moment. So if with your,

00:13:04.900 if you're with your child, you know, I mean, I see your posts with your boys and stuff like that.

00:13:09.040 If you're with your boys, you're with your boys, you're not in your head planning the next day

00:13:14.760 or paying your bills or going somewhere. You're with them fully. And you're focusing your

00:13:22.360 attention. You're bringing your attention back to that continually because our minds will pull

00:13:26.460 constantly. Right. And we get better and better and better at it, but focusing and being that focus,

00:13:33.980 being present to that focus and aware of that is the only thing we have to do. It's the only thing

00:13:39.060 we have full control of. So once you start doing that, then all of a sudden the chasing and everything

00:13:43.480 else, it goes away. It diminishes because you're, you're doing the thing that you're meant to do.

00:13:49.400 Sure. If, if, if we're like on this podcast, how would it be if I'm sitting here and I'm thinking

00:13:54.180 about, you know, my wife coming home later and I'm thinking like puppy doing this and everything,

00:13:58.900 I would be distracted. And when I do that right now, and I have those thoughts because I said that

00:14:04.260 all of a sudden I lose train of my thought here. And so I can't be fully here and I'm not then thus

00:14:11.520 fully empowered in my moment to do the best in my moment that I possibly can.

00:14:16.840 So how do you combat the argument that to use that chess analogy of thinking, you know, seven

00:14:21.880 moves ahead or whatever, in order to get ahead in life? Well, and, and it, you know, plan, there's

00:14:26.360 nothing wrong with planning and thinking, but it's utilizing the tool of your mind in thinking versus

00:14:32.360 it thinking you or it thinking through you. And the difference is, is, um, you know, and, and I've

00:14:39.600 been here so I can understand this, you know, I'm speaking from a place of, yeah, I understand this,

00:14:44.600 you know, you're sitting there and you're doing something. And then all of a sudden an idea pops

00:14:47.460 into your head and says, Oh, go do this right now. And so you just jump up and you go do it

00:14:52.080 like a mindless slave without going, I'm focused on this right now. I'll deal with that later.

00:14:58.160 Right. And just being able to pass, we end up being slaves and running constantly all day and

00:15:03.780 ending up all that energy being wasted and stolen from us at night. We just drop in bed. We're just

00:15:09.240 wasted, you know, trying to be these, these great people, you know, trying to do our best,

00:15:14.540 but all day, you know, it doesn't feel like you've chased things all day. Right. Right. You're

00:15:19.700 just doing fires. Yeah. You're just doing fires instead of instead and realizing that every one

00:15:26.060 of those fires is an invitation for you to look within yourself. So it brings a present to your

00:15:31.160 moment. Boom. I'm not trying to run away from this fire or get it. You know, I'm trying to go,

00:15:35.700 okay, so what does this fire really mean? What can I learn through so that this fire doesn't reoccur in

00:15:40.440 my life? What is this fire trying to teach me? What can this, what can it teach me about being a better

00:15:46.100 person? Guys, quick pause for a minute to tell you about our elite mastermind, the iron council.

00:15:52.440 By now I know you've probably heard about it, but we're a group of men working, not just talking

00:15:56.640 about this stuff, but working on becoming better men in every area of our lives. And what we're doing

00:16:01.340 is we're taking the information we learned about on this podcast and we're incorporating into our lives

00:16:06.240 so we can actually see the results. That's what we want. We want the results. So I want you to get

00:16:10.760 involved. Now we're close to our 100th member and I've got some big plans for that day,

00:16:14.880 which will happen in the next several weeks. This is a group designed to push you. It's designed

00:16:19.900 to test you. It's designed to challenge you. It's designed to get you to step outside of that

00:16:24.260 comfort zone and do some things that you would not normally do. And it's the only way, that's the

00:16:28.880 only way that you can see the real results that we want you to see in your life. So if you feel

00:16:33.500 yourself struggling in your relationship or your career or with your money or your health, you need

00:16:38.080 to join me and the rest of the men inside the iron council. We complete weekly assignments. We connect

00:16:42.560 with a battle brother. We meet each and every week and we actually, again, do the things that are

00:16:46.740 going to help you succeed massively in your life. So you can check that out at orderofman.com

00:16:51.340 slash iron council. And I look forward to seeing you on the inside. Now back to my interview with Len.

00:16:58.320 So what do you do when you personally have overwhelmed? Because I can see for myself,

00:17:02.580 I mean, I get busy throughout the day. I've got a thousand things to do. You have a thousand things to

00:17:06.080 do. And I can see the benefit of what you're talking about, but I also worry that I won't be

00:17:12.340 able to get everything done that I feel like needs to be done. So how do we accomplish that?

00:17:17.100 Well, and it really is about a practice and it's about experience. So it's not something like I can

00:17:22.820 be telling you guys all this, you know, all the listeners and stuff. And the arguments come up

00:17:26.880 because it's like trying to explain, you know, I used to be in Muay Thai. So it's trying to explain a

00:17:32.340 kick to you versus getting you to kick yourself. Right? So what I'm, I'm, you know, going to turn 0.63

00:17:38.540 back on, on this, on you and the listeners is try this stuff. Try bringing more of that into your

00:17:44.460 life and watching how you run with your mind, watching your thoughts, becoming more aware of

00:17:50.620 them. I mean, when we, when we did our session together, Ryan, and we in process, I think you made

00:17:55.680 the comment that the next day or the next couple of days, something to the effect of, you know,

00:17:59.220 you're more aware of what's going on in your mind and those thoughts coming up. That's very valuable.

00:18:05.700 It's a very valuable thing because that's the start of you actually running things versus this

00:18:12.160 auto-generated mind of yours doing what it does, which is generating thought. And that's all it does.

00:18:19.240 It just generates thought. It's up to us and our free will, what we focus our thought on. So it's,

00:18:26.220 we don't have to think because it just generates thought. We have to focus what, where we're

00:18:32.560 giving. So during our day, if we have focus and say you're doing, you know, you're doing a call,

00:18:38.060 a sales call, or you're doing something, Ryan, you know, to be honest in that call, is it not,

00:18:44.320 I mean, you were just saying about the cell phone, right? You can notice your cell phone beeping

00:18:47.380 with this. There's always tuggings. So if you just, if you just move all of that off your plate and you

00:18:53.460 just focus on exactly what you're doing in that moment, then all of a sudden that moment is,

00:18:58.960 you get better results with it, which actually ends up, and you can only, you can only experience

00:19:03.600 this by practicing it and testing it out, right? Over time. But things actually end up dropping

00:19:10.440 off of your plate. Things end up moving so much smoother that instead of making five calls or five

00:19:16.800 contacts to make something happen, because you're fully present in the first one, it only takes one.

00:19:20.940 There's a guy named Stephen Kotler out there, K-O-T-L-E-R-E. He actually is studying the state

00:19:28.060 of flow. And that's really what we're talking about here. We're talking about a state of extreme

00:19:33.460 or intense focus and bringing your complete. What it enables you to do is to flow through that

00:19:40.360 experience instead of pushing through the experience. When you're pushing through the experience,

00:19:47.380 I mean, it's like anything. When you push or flow, there's a different amount of energy used.

00:19:51.880 And that's with your day as well. If you're constantly chasing, if you're constantly putting

00:19:55.600 out fires, if you're constantly doing that kind of stuff, and you're looking at everything like,

00:19:58.280 oh, then all of a sudden it is going to feel heavy. It comes right back to when we started the

00:20:03.540 conversation about perception, right? You perceive that as heavy. Granted, it will be heavy. And

00:20:08.580 unfortunately, it doesn't look like the genie, you know, in my, I dream a genie. Your experience

00:20:14.500 usually comes in the wrapping you don't like, right? So all of a sudden it's, that's overwhelm.

00:20:18.600 Overwhelm is an invitation because obviously that's not a feel good thing. It's an invitation

00:20:23.280 to look at what you're doing. It's a, it's a signal coming up in you going, hey, this isn't good for

00:20:29.000 you. And there's another way to do this. So if you, so that's where you're talking about where

00:20:33.900 it's actually everything there is to help and to serve you as opposed to work against you.

00:20:38.400 Yeah. So you're not swimming upstream. You have a flow, you have a wind behind it at your back

00:20:43.980 type of idea. You know, um, the right connections happen a lot smoother. Everything happens because

00:20:48.740 you're fully present. You're, you're not having as many relationship problems because you're present

00:20:53.500 with your, your mate or your significant other, um, or your child. So you don't have those things

00:20:59.720 that are coming into your space and stealing your energy. You do everything better. Thus you need

00:21:06.000 less energy to do it. It sounds a lot like what I would call if an athlete would, would be in the

00:21:11.980 zone. Yep. For example. Yep. It is exactly the same type of state. Um, you know, it's not the

00:21:17.260 same as I, I mean, we, we both know Charlie Brenneman, so it's not like when he gets in the

00:21:20.980 octagon, it's not the same state, but yet on a deep level it is because what he says is, I mean,

00:21:26.840 he doesn't think in that state when he's in the octagon, he doesn't think. So that's like every

00:21:32.760 other athlete I've ever worked with. I've worked with other, um, world-class kickboxers and that

00:21:37.040 they don't think when they're in there, they just flow. So that's a huge piece of evidence for us

00:21:42.740 as to how to get into flow in our day. Don't think. And that's really how we not think is by

00:21:50.080 focusing, taking control of our thoughts, taking control of our mind and focusing and going, no,

00:21:55.580 no, this is what I'm doing right now. This is where I am 100%. And you have to, you will have to

00:22:03.100 keep continually bringing your focus back. It's an, it's like working out or it's like anything

00:22:07.880 else. You know, it's a muscle that you need to habitually grow. But, but the more you do that,

00:22:12.980 you notice that your moments also become more meaningful because you're actually there

00:22:16.320 to enjoy them instead of somewhere else, just sort of ghost walking through the moment.

00:22:22.440 Yeah. And I really like what you said about effectiveness, because I'll be frank with you.

00:22:25.260 When I went through the session with you at first, I was a little bit like, I don't have time to sit

00:22:30.340 out for an hour and to worry about my feelings. I've got things to do, but I noticed over the

00:22:37.700 past couple of days or over the next several days of, of internalizing what it is we talked about,

00:22:43.300 that I was a lot more effective in the way that I was approaching things. And I could see my

00:22:49.060 relationships working and developing from that and even business and all of these things.

00:22:54.240 So though, I want to shift directions here a little bit, because one of the things that we

00:22:58.280 identified is that I tend to be a competitive person by nature. And sometimes I look at what

00:23:05.000 somebody else is doing and that's discouraging to me. And you helped me identify how that's not a

00:23:11.800 discouragement. That's actually a trait that's helping you. How do we begin to identify these

00:23:18.080 types of things in our own lives? Every time we say, I want to do this, right? Like I want to be

00:23:23.740 great at this. I feel this calling inside to be more than I am right now. And I want to do this

00:23:29.560 instantly inside of yourself. There will be another belief that surfaces. I guarantee you, man,

00:23:36.140 it will, it will surface because it's the nature of duality. It's the nature of how the mind works,

00:23:40.820 right? So it has to bring up its opposite. So if I say, I want to be great inside, I'm going to get

00:23:45.720 something. You're not good enough to be great. You're great. Why does that happen?

00:23:49.640 Well, number one thing is, how can you have free will and a choice with only one option?

00:23:55.700 Great point.

00:23:56.280 You can't, right? So this universe and how our life works is there has to be a duality

00:24:01.900 to have free choice. So if I say black, you'll have to say white. 1.00

00:24:06.760 Otherwise there is no black. 1.00

00:24:07.900 Right. You can't know tall if there's no short.

00:24:10.820 Right.

00:24:11.320 So understanding that concept helps us understand that our mind is just a generation of ideas

00:24:18.520 to equal out and, and all energy in our universe is all searching all the time to be able to be

00:24:25.120 equal out. Right. It's, it's looking for equilibrium. We're all, that's what overwhelm

00:24:29.800 everything. Everything is looking to be able to balance us back out again. And we resist it and

00:24:34.700 we look at it and go, no, we don't want that. And, and everything else we bounce around in it.

00:24:38.880 But, but the whole process of looking within and asking ourselves these questions and noticing

00:24:44.300 being there present to the point where when those beliefs come up, when we say, okay,

00:24:49.220 I want to do this, I want to go take this course, or I want to, you know, I want to hire Len

00:24:54.380 and, and instantly money comes up or instantly something else comes up or geez, I don't want

00:25:00.460 to be vulnerable. All of the things that come up are invitations for us to be able to look within

00:25:06.320 and go, why do we believe that about ourselves? Is that really true? Like, is it really true about

00:25:11.180 this? Or is this one of the things that I say to myself as a story or as an excuse or as a limiting

00:25:17.420 belief? And really, as one of my great teachers, um, Guy Finley says, you know, in one of his quotes

00:25:23.100 is if you take the example of a sofa, a couch in the, in the, a window, and while it's in that window

00:25:30.640 and parked there and the light, the rays of sunlight are shining on it, it can do nothing else but fade.

00:25:37.040 Unless it's moved, it's sitting there, it's going to be changed, whether it likes it or not, that,

00:25:42.060 that light is going to change it. So what I'm saying is the more that we start asking these

00:25:46.120 questions and we focus within and, and look as a student instead and learn from these experiences,

00:25:51.740 that light of understanding actually changes us. We don't have to change. We have to be honest and

00:26:00.780 vulnerable to ourselves and look at where we're already getting in our way and letting ourselves down 0.99

00:26:05.260 and believing this shit that we're telling ourselves. It's just the other side of what 0.98

00:26:10.820 we really want. So you have the free will, you have the choice. Remember, focus is the only thing

00:26:16.260 you control. So now put your focus on what you really know to believe to be true, which is the

00:26:21.020 moment that you want to be great. You look at the fork in the road, you look at I'm shit. I don't, 0.99

00:26:27.200 I'm don't value myself. I'm not good enough. And then, you know what you're telling yourself inside.

00:26:31.860 And then you look at what you really want to accomplish. There's a reason why, what you want

00:26:36.600 to accomplish, what you want to be, whether that's a great parent or, uh, you know, the next president

00:26:41.960 or, or beyond whatever that is, that calling is there for a reason. You feel that for a reason

00:26:48.760 it's, it's bubbling forth, but it never bubbles forth without the courage and the bravery and the

00:26:55.400 willingness to be able to cultivate it. And that's what those ideas will come up, those limiting beliefs

00:27:00.540 and their gifts to be able to look at ourselves, become better. That's how you get to that

00:27:05.560 greatness. Well, and I think you're talking about, this is a current, uh, reoccurring theme. As I

00:27:10.200 continue to have conversations, I think we've had close to 60 conversations now with men, which is

00:27:15.480 awesome. You're doing a fantastic job. I appreciate that. Yeah. But what, what I was going to suggest is

00:27:20.880 this is about being deliberate, right? Because you talk about the sofa and the window, it's going to be

00:27:25.740 changed. We don't have to be acted upon. We can actually be deliberate about the way that we're

00:27:31.720 going to change our life. If we approach it the way that you're suggesting we do.

00:27:35.240 Yeah. Like I, I, like I said, the only job we have is our focus. The experience is already given to us

00:27:41.460 by our partner in life, right? Life, life takes care of the, the, the, um, the whole play. It takes

00:27:48.680 care of all the other characters. It takes care of what we need so that we're given experiences,

00:27:53.800 experiences, scripts to learn from. So I walk into, um, you know, I walk into a podcast and I have,

00:28:02.480 you know, I may have little jitters and stuff and may get excited beforehand. That's all learning for

00:28:07.620 me of who I am and the greatness that I'm getting into. Every moment that we go into is there for us

00:28:15.520 to step up to. We show up fully. We're there. We're present. It will teach us how to be better,

00:28:22.500 whether it's our child saying something, whether it's our wife, you know, whether, or, or significant

00:28:27.780 other smiling or, or caring or being irritated. Everything is really a mirror to our insides.

00:28:36.400 And if we see things like that, all of a sudden stuff starts showing up. You know, I, I seen a

00:28:40.600 person that I just, man, they just irritate the hell out of me. I just, oh, instead of before how I

00:28:47.420 used to be like, I don't want to spend time with that person. That person's a jerk, blah, blah, blah, 1.00

00:28:51.300 blah, blah, blah. I now look at that person and go, what about that person that irritates me? 1.00

00:28:56.360 Cause there must be something in that person that I'm seeing that I'm getting.

00:29:00.520 That's that irritant that I have inside of me too.

00:29:05.180 Interesting.

00:29:05.940 Cause I wouldn't, it wouldn't have, it wouldn't bother me if that wasn't already inside of me.

00:29:10.580 And so instead of hiding it, those dark pieces of ourselves. And instead of that, we look at them,

00:29:16.040 we accept them and we learn from them. And by doing that, it, it, it's much easier to learn and

00:29:23.640 to flow and, but it all, it all comes from being able to focus. And so, you know, when I started our

00:29:29.720 conversation, that's why we started there was distraction is our enemy. You know, it's, it,

00:29:36.340 it can take our life force away from us and steal our moments. I always look at, I always look at

00:29:42.540 tourists, man. It's so funny. They're always living behind the lens. You know, you see those

00:29:47.160 tourists, right? And their cameras, they weren't really in the trip. They were recording the trip

00:29:53.300 so that they can view it over and over again, but they weren't living in fully in there.

00:29:58.840 Right. In which case they could have done that through YouTube. They didn't even need to go

00:30:01.860 experience it themselves. Right. That's exactly it. That's exactly. And, and that's what we all do

00:30:05.600 with our moments. We're constantly trying to get through our moment to accomplish something,

00:30:10.600 to get it off of our plate instead of realizing this is not a dress rehearsal.

00:30:17.980 This, this is kind of the concept of working for the weekend.

00:30:21.480 Yeah. Yeah, it is. It's, I mean, you see guys working 40 hours a week, five, six days,

00:30:25.820 seven days a week, and hopefully they'll get one day off. And, and, and for the six days out of the

00:30:30.520 seven, they tell themselves they're miserable just in order to accomplish that 12 hours or 18 hours of

00:30:35.540 happiness. Well, Ryan, I was, you know, I had a really great experience as a gift. Um, when my dad was

00:30:40.380 passing away, it was probably two days before he passed away and he was sitting on the edge of the

00:30:43.740 bed and I was sitting with him and, um, he, he was in really bad shape and he was dying of cancer and

00:30:49.320 it was really a bad, bad, bad time for him. And I remember him just saying like, what's it all for?

00:30:55.920 What was all this for? And it was a really huge impact and a huge gift he gave me, uh, along with

00:31:02.340 many others at that time. But, but that was a huge thing. Cause I sat there next to him looking at,

00:31:07.260 I'm going, I don't have to do that. I don't, I don't have to do what he just did. What? Thank

00:31:12.220 you for saying that. Like that just changed everything as perceptions tend to do. And so I,

00:31:18.320 I've, you know, I, I really, especially from that moment, everything we go through

00:31:23.580 is something we get to go through. And, and, and if we, and if we view it as something,

00:31:29.960 we just have to get through all the time. That's what our experience will be. We'll end up in our

00:31:36.020 life and it'll be a regret instead of living fully showing up authentically as much as you can

00:31:43.180 today. And then tomorrow, because you did it today, it's easier tomorrow. You do more tomorrow

00:31:47.240 and you grow. And every day you become better than the person you were before. And that's really

00:31:54.060 the juice of life. We're learning machines. You know, a prime example of that, I actually did a

00:31:59.980 keynote presentation for a group here in Utah. And I remember before I stepped onto stage, I got the

00:32:07.580 jitters. I was nervous, a little bit fearful. And I was trying to be very present because I know

00:32:12.060 we've talked about this and I thought, okay, why am I scared? And the reason I was scared was because

00:32:16.260 I cared about how it went. And because I cared about how it went, it reminded me that I spent a lot

00:32:23.080 of time preparing for this keynote presentation, which was able to bring some calmness to me because

00:32:29.320 I knew I prepared because I cared about it. And I knew I cared about it because I was nervous before

00:32:35.580 I stepped foot on stage. Yeah. And, and notice where your mind went was to skip the event and,

00:32:43.020 and give you an idea of what a pot, one of the possibilities of the, out of the millions,

00:32:48.260 you know, infinity possibilities that could have happened, gives you something that it might not be

00:32:52.320 able to work out with. Sure. Right. And so that's where presence comes in because then if you,

00:32:57.280 if you dismiss that thought and go, you know what, that's only one possibility. And I'm going to focus

00:33:01.580 completely on just doing the best job and enjoying this the most that I possibly can and have that

00:33:08.760 trust and belief that it's just going to go the best that it possibly can. And that's it. And when

00:33:13.460 you do that, your focus is there. So, so you're completely focused. It's like, again, I'm going to

00:33:17.960 mention Charlie. It's like Charlie or any, any other fighter walking into the octagon. You're

00:33:21.920 walking up on stage. They're walking into the octagon. The thought goes away. And instead you

00:33:25.540 just be sure. And when you do that, that's the most powerful moments that happen in your life

00:33:31.920 because you're fully there. You, a magic happens through you that, you know, those become the best

00:33:40.540 times. I mean, think of the memories behind you. Usually those memories, uh, the best ones are

00:33:45.460 because you are completely fully there in the moment.

00:33:49.340 Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. Makes sense.

00:33:51.560 And knowing that we, you know, one of the things that we all are, are folly about is we, we treat

00:33:55.920 this life like, like we have forever. Like it's never going to end.

00:34:01.020 Sure.

00:34:01.540 You know, in reality, this, like I said, it's not the dress rehearsal. This is it. So today,

00:34:06.620 today counts. You know, it's like, it's game day. It counts. And, and what we tend to do is we

00:34:13.580 tend to excuse ourselves out of those moments. And then we distract ourselves because we're scared

00:34:17.700 of the greatness that we maybe could be, you know, it all comes back to that, just being present and,

00:34:22.220 and realizing that, you know, it being present is your job. That's the focus is it. Just focus just

00:34:30.140 on that. And other, other things, watch how the flow just happens and things take, get taken care of.

00:34:36.800 Well, and we're winding down on time a little bit. I do want to just briefly skim the surface and I'm

00:34:40.940 going to give, I'm going to give you an opportunity to share a little bit more about where we can find

00:34:44.100 you. I do want to skim the surface on limiting beliefs because I think this is something that

00:34:48.280 everybody understands that they have. I don't know how aware of it that they are. And I don't know to

00:34:55.880 what degree they can address these things. So just talk with me briefly about how to become more aware

00:35:01.740 of your limiting beliefs and maybe where some of those things are coming from.

00:35:06.300 Where they're coming from, it could be a myriad of sources. It's the experiences in our past.

00:35:10.140 You know, you may have been a child and something happened. You go through that experience and then

00:35:14.260 a parent or an adult of something tells you, this is what this means. And it's just accepted. It's

00:35:20.480 just, it goes in without thinking. Maybe it's through school, maybe it's through our social

00:35:24.040 connections, parents, whatever it was. I mean, we've all had various different degrees and that's why

00:35:28.800 the experience of life is different for each one of us. And we were mentioning about the twins

00:35:32.340 before, right? You know how the experience, it's how you look at that experience going through it.

00:35:36.280 So our belief systems, unfortunately, are usually a hodgepodge of experiences and convoluted filters

00:35:45.620 in how we threw them. And that's why some of those limiting beliefs are crazy and not logical and not

00:35:52.620 true. And if you told somebody else what they are, they just look at you really weirdly because they

00:35:59.100 don't have that same limiting belief that you do. Well, and the challenge is, is we hide those from

00:36:03.520 ourselves because we really don't want to see them about ourselves. What if they're true? Right?

00:36:07.360 So we, we hide them. And that's really, I mean, it comes back to being able to, um, through some

00:36:12.680 sort of practice, whether it's meditation or whether it's just being present to yourself, being able to

00:36:16.280 listen to what that is going on in your head. I mean, most people that I work with at the start,

00:36:21.320 when we start working together, they, they hadn't even been aware that they were saying this stuff to

00:36:25.580 themselves. And, and I stopped them. And I, the first piece of homework is for the next week to just

00:36:32.480 bring yourself aware to what you're saying to yourself about your life experience. What commentary,

00:36:38.040 you know, what, what are you doing? And then ask yourself a couple of questions after that. Would you

00:36:42.580 treat your child that way? Yeah. Is, is what you're, is how you're treating yourself inside from love

00:36:50.420 or from fear? We are our own beings and how we treat ourselves is extremely important. And so seeing a

00:36:59.840 limiting belief and then looking at it and realizing, you know, inside, because those limiting beliefs come

00:37:05.380 along with a lot of judgment, realizing how we treat ourselves. And then, you know, that really got me

00:37:11.660 with, when I started asking myself, it was like, would I treat my daughter this way? And I thought, yeah, I

00:37:15.540 didn't know, no, that at that time, no, I wouldn't have treated my daughter this way. This is, this is a slave 0.99

00:37:21.400 driver at the time. I, I, how I treated myself. And once I started realizing that I became like that

00:37:27.300 coach, that percent, that perception opening saying, wow, this is how I talk to myself inside.

00:37:34.520 I'm, I'm not my own cheerleader. I'm, I'm freaking my own enemy. And this is really the beginning of

00:37:41.160 that wisdom. It's the beginning of looking inside and examining who we are in each and every experience

00:37:46.840 in situation. So, so that's, I mean, that's a great place to start is just, I mean, I, I used to

00:37:52.120 actually a long, long time ago, I wore an elastic band on my wrist. And so it reminded me of going

00:37:58.740 inside because I would forget my way and I'd get lost in thought and I'd be off. And then I'd, you

00:38:02.840 know, an hour or two hours later, I'd go, oh crap, I was trying to meditate or I was trying to, 0.72

00:38:06.880 trying to put myself back. And then I'd see the elastic band. I'd go, oh yeah, okay, okay. So in the moment

00:38:11.600 without judging myself, but watching, cause I would judge myself watching and observing myself go,

00:38:16.500 holy cow, I'm being hard on myself for even doing that. And then noticing it's like,

00:38:21.000 that's not really fair. How can I learn by always being down on myself? Right? So it's,

00:38:26.160 it's, it's really about, you know, beginning to have a relationship with yourself inside.

00:38:31.840 You have beginning to see how you treat yourself, how you motivate yourself. What do you say? And,

00:38:36.540 and really just asking logically, does this freaking make sense? Is this really going to empower me?

00:38:42.640 Is this really going to get the results that I'm really wanting from my life?

00:38:47.840 Love it. Well, then, like I said, we're winding down on time. Let me ask you this additional

00:38:51.500 question, which I did prepare you for. And that is, what does it mean to be a man?

00:38:55.240 To be imperfect, to be learning, to be learning constantly. Um, being a man, I, you know,

00:39:03.760 I I'm learning a lot about masculine and feminine. And I'm realizing that, um, to be a man, a lot of

00:39:12.000 times people believe it's so many identities that they put on. Uh, you have to be this, you have to

00:39:17.900 be that you have to be strong. You have to be, I think the, what it means to be a man is to really

00:39:24.080 be aware of yourself because by doing that in our children, in our relationships, we add so much of

00:39:32.620 a ripple of impact. You know, I mean, women are, you know, mothers and, and, and women in general are,

00:39:38.160 are so important to our society, but we are as well. It's a 50, 50 deal. Nothing can be created

00:39:43.220 without of it. So I don't think we give ourselves as men, the leeway to be human. We, we, I create an

00:39:50.600 identity that, that has these certain rules and they confine and limit us. But instead, I think

00:39:58.880 the experience isn't as much male or female as really deep down it's being human.

00:40:05.020 And that's a great answer. And, and Len, honestly, one that I hadn't heard of, or even

00:40:08.340 really considered all that much. So that's, that's some valuable insight. So if somebody is listening to

00:40:12.820 this and, and I know that there's guys that are thinking, wow, I really want to learn more about

00:40:16.580 this because I'm, I'm even in that stage right now, especially after having gone through some of this

00:40:20.180 myself with you, how do we reach out to you? How do we connect with you and learn more about the work

00:40:24.280 you're doing? Oh, thanks Ryan. Well, my site is a triple W dot Zen Len coaching.com Zen Len coaching.com.

00:40:33.040 And yeah, I'm a little intense. I give a new meaning to Zen and I, uh, I claim it fully. It's my

00:40:38.000 meaning. And, uh, and so, yeah, I mean, I'm open to discussions. I love these types of, uh, of

00:40:43.300 discussions. And if people are really interested in their own consciousness and becoming better and

00:40:47.760 understanding who they truly are inside more and, and moving through life from that, uh, I would love

00:40:53.840 to be able to talk to them. So, you know, email me off my site. I'm on Facebook as well. Um, reach out

00:40:59.100 and say hello. Awesome. We'll make sure we link that up in the show notes. So all the guys can know

00:41:03.360 where to find you and track you down. Len, this has been just a powerful and really fascinating

00:41:07.060 conversation. I want to thank you for joining us on the show today. Oh, I want to thank you for

00:41:10.560 having me. And I've, it is truly been a blast. I mean, it was the intention we set and I think we

00:41:15.260 hit the mark and I hope the listeners got a lot of, uh, of good nuggets out there and, and can use it

00:41:19.980 for personal change to become better tomorrow. There you have it guys. Mr. Len Wright shedding some

00:41:25.500 light on this tool. That is the mind. Now I encourage you to reach out to him. I encourage you to try

00:41:29.640 the things Len mentioned in your life. You will see results in your ability to take charge of your

00:41:34.320 brain and use it as this powerful tool to create the life that you want. And in the meantime, go

00:41:40.060 check out the iron council on elite group of brothers inside the iron council. They're going

00:41:44.520 to push you. They're going to question you. They're going to test you. And they're going to hold your

00:41:48.240 feet to the fire, which is exactly what each and every one of us need to achieve big things in life.

00:41:53.500 That's what it's going to take to shake you out of the life that you might currently find yourself

00:41:57.240 in. So head to order of man.com slash iron council, and you can join us right now. Again,

00:42:01.960 all the details of the show can be found at order of man.com slash zero six one. And you can join in

00:42:06.160 the conversation we're having about masculinity in our Facebook group at facebook.com slash groups

00:42:10.500 slash order of man guys. I look forward to talking to you next week, but until then take action and

00:42:16.360 become the man you were meant to be. Thank you for listening to the order of man podcast.

00:42:21.100 You're ready to take charge of your life and be more of the man you were meant to be.

00:42:24.900 We invite you to join the order at order of man.com.

Order of Man - May 17, 2016

OoM 061： Tapping into the Power of Your Mind with Len Wright

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