OoM 073： Lewis Howes ｜ Your Path to Greatness
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Summary
In this episode, my guest, Lewis Howes, talks with us about what it means to be great, the power of staying curious, how failure helps light the way, and how you can discover your own path to greatness. Lewis is a lifestyle entrepreneur, a business coach, a keynote speaker, and the New York Times bestselling author of The School of Greatness. He s also a former professional football player, an All-American, a world record holding athlete, and a current USA Men s National Handball Team Athlete. In addition to all that, he hosts The School Of Greatness Podcast and was recognized by the White House as one of the top 100 entrepreneurs in the country under 30.
Transcript
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I used to feel lost. I knew there was more to life, but I just could not put my finger on it.
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And even if I had, I wouldn't have known what path to take to get there. My guest today and
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a man that needs no introduction, Lewis Howes, talks with us about what it means to be great,
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the power of staying curious, how failure helps light the way, and how you can discover your own
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path to greatness. You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest, embrace your fears,
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and boldly chart your own path. When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time, every
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time. You are not easily deterred or defeated, rugged, resilient, strong. This is your life.
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This is who you are. This is who you will become at the end of the day. And after all is said and done,
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you can call yourself a man. Men, what is going on today? My name is Ryan
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Michler and I am your host and the founder of Order of Man. As always, I am glad that you're
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here with us today. For those of you who don't know, we are talking about all things manly.
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So whether you're vying for a job promotion, wondering how you can build more confidence,
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developing the discipline you need to reach your goals, we have got you covered. We talk with
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Navy SEALs, entrepreneurs, New York Times bestselling authors, and so many more successful
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people. And we're going to bring you their best insights, their ideas, their inspirations,
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and all the things that you need to be successful in your own life. And we're bringing that right
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back to you. Now, I'm not a guy who wants to waste a lot of time. So I usually just jump right
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into it, which I'm going to do today. We have got a great one lined out. We're going to be talking
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about the path to greatness. But before I introduce you to our guest, you can get all of the show notes.
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We're talking about some things that you're going to want to know more about, and you can get those
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and the rest of the show notes and the links at orderofman.com slash 073. And then make sure you
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join our closed men's Facebook group for a deeper conversation on the topic of discovering your
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path to greatness. You can do that at facebook.com slash groups slash order of man. Now, let me
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introduce my guest today. Lewis Howes is a lifestyle entrepreneur, a business coach, a keynote speaker
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in the New York Times bestselling author of The School of Greatness. He's also a former
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professional football player, a two sport All-American, a world record holding athlete, and a current
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USA men's national handball team athlete. In addition to all that, he hosts the School of
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Greatness podcast and at one point was recognized by the White House as one of the top 100 entrepreneurs
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in the country under 30. You can see that Lewis has excelled in just about everything he's done.
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He's been featured in the New York Times, People, Men's Health, The Today Show, and other
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major media outlets. And today he's on the show to talk about creating your own path to greatness.
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Lewis, what's up, brother? Glad to have you on the show, man. Thanks for joining us.
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I've been following you for a long time. I'm sure a lot of the guys that are listening have
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been following you for a long time. And so it's good to get you on the show. You're a busy man.
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Thanks, man. Yeah, it's been fun. I'm just always trying to create and add value to the world.
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Awesome. Yep. We're trying to do the same thing here. So it's good to finally meet up.
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Tell me a little bit about, I want to explore this word of greatness. And I want to know from you
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why you feel this work is so important that you're doing in the world.
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You know, I think growing up, I wanted to be successful. I think that was, I think most men
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in general want to achieve some level of success. And the challenge is, I feel like there's this
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pressure and burden and weight that comes with the word success. And there's also this stigma that
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success is really about the achievements you bring in and the amount of money you make.
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That's a successful person is that they're making money. Oh, they're successful.
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And for me, I realized that in my 20s, in my early 30s now, but in my 20s, I was so driven to be
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successful that I always felt unfulfilled. I would achieve the results, the result of success,
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but I was so unfulfilled afterwards. And I just kept striving for more and more and more.
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And it never really, you know, Tony Robbins says that success is a science. And I think I
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mastered that science, but the fulfillment is an art and it doesn't matter how successful you are
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if you're not fulfilled. And I kind of woke up to that a few years ago and realized, wow, you know,
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okay, I've been driven by success for so long, but, but really what I'm chasing is greatness.
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And what I want to be is great. I want to be great. This for me is a word that makes more sense.
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And my definition of greatness is comes down to discovering and pursuing the unique gifts that
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we have and figuring out what those are so we can pursue our dream. And in that process,
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impact the maximum people around us. And I feel like that takes off the pressure of,
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you know, having a billion dollar company or being successful. So for me, that's what it is.
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I can literally feel it in my being over the past year that I feel like I'm getting to that level
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of fulfillment. I don't know if I'll ever be completely fulfilled. And I think anybody who's
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ambitious probably feels that way, but how have you discovered this? Because I know there's a lot
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of guys listening to this right now who feel like there's more to it, but don't quite know what the
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next step of this discovery process and what greatness and success and fulfillment looks like to them.
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You know, I think it's a, it's a journey, you know, it's, uh,
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something it took me until I was about 30 to really start to be aware of in terms of feeling
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like, you know, you know, for me growing up, I just felt suffering all the time internally. I
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felt suffering. Like I wasn't good enough. I felt suffering that I, um, wasn't smart enough. I was
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suffering that even the achievements I did make, they, they weren't where I wanted them to be.
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I didn't feel like I belonged in my family with my peers, my teammates. I didn't feel like I belonged
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anywhere. So I just felt like this suffering. So for me, it was really came down to,
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I think feeling like I was worthy, feeling like I was good enough, no matter what I did or what I
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didn't do that. I'm enough as I am right now. And when I made that switch, just, I took the weight
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off, you know, I'm still driven. I'm still focused and committed. I want to create amazing things and
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achieve all these things. But I think it's just being okay with ourselves so we can show up in the
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world in a powerful, loving way that doesn't hurt other people and hurt ourselves. And that's kind of
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what it's been. And it's a journey to discover what it is we want to do. You know, I, when I was in high
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school, I wanted to be a college athlete and then a pro athlete. And it's like, I'm constantly learning
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and growing. And right now I didn't know I wanted to be a podcast speaker, author 10 years ago.
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Right, right. I didn't know I was going to be doing what I'm doing, but it kind of unfolded as I was
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curious. I think when we follow our curiosity, the things that we're curious about that make us light
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up and we just follow them a little bit. And then we figure out, well, how can I build my life around
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this curiosity? How can I make enough money to, you know, live with this curiosity? How can I find
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the right relationship that I want in this curiosity? How can I, you know, evolve my life
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around the things that I'm most curious about that excite me the most? That's what I think the
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process is. There's not a, there's no science to discovering this. It's definitely a dance and an art
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in discovering what we love, what we're, we're going to be great at. And it can change, you know,
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every season it could change, or it could be there for a number of years. And then you may not be
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passionate about it anymore. You may not be curious about it anymore. So you find something new you're
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curious about. So I think it's, it's, um, you know, trusting yourself, listening to yourself
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No, this is a great point. I mean, I'm a financial advisor by trade. Anybody that's listened to this show
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for any amount of time probably knows that. And about a year and a half ago, not that I was
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disenchanted with the business, but that something else caught my attention. And I think a lot of
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guys have that, but they're not willing to take that first step. And that's what I've done. It
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sounds like that's what you've done. And that's the first step to, uh, to greatness. I'm really
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curious about, you talked about suffering. You talk about wanting to feel worthy. Where does that come
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from? Why, why were you feeling that way? I mean, I just, uh, I just don't think I ever belonged. I
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always, I was always struggled in school as a kid. I couldn't read when I was growing up.
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It was very challenging for me and I just got made fun of a lot. So I allowed myself to feel
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the pain and suffering. And I just kind of beat myself up every day for, for not being smart enough
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for, you know, not having any friends for being like, you know, it was like six, two when I was
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like 10 years old. So I was like the skinny acne gangly kid who was goofy, who every time the teacher,
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you know, called upon me in class to read aloud, you know, I couldn't read. I would just skip over
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words and mumble and just make an excuse. So I just felt very insecure. I was always in the special
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needs classes as well growing up with me and like three kids in a wheelchair. And so it's just like,
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it didn't help my confidence. It didn't make me feel like I belonged with the guys that I wanted to
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hang out with or whatever growing up. I mean, I also was picked on as an athlete. I was picked last,
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in a dodgeball game in fourth grade with, with our class during recess. We played a dodgeball game
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and there was two, two captains and they picked me last over all the guys and all the girls. And
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they picked me. And I just remember being like, I'm a better, you know, I know I'm not this,
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I don't add zero value in this little game game right here, but I felt like I had no value in life.
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I was like, if I'm picked last for this, when I know I'm a better athlete, then at least all the
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girls, right? You would hope, right? I was like, how, you know, do I have zero value in this world?
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You know, these moments that, that shaped me and made me second guess myself and feel like I didn't,
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it wasn't worthy. So there are also moments that made me very driven. You know, I remember after
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that moment, I was just like, I'm never going to get picked last for anything ever again. And I
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trained like a maniac and I held onto that. And in some ways that drove me forward and people
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listening here, there's probably something that's happened to you or someone, something said,
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or a bully or something you lost in that you said, I never want to feel this again. And it
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drove you to become better, to prove others wrong. And for that never to happen again. And that's
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what happened to me. You know, I would train every single day after school, I would go to the basketball
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court and play from three 30 till about nine 30 when I had to go back and get dinner. And I was just
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playing with high school kids and I was just like training myself. I'd go to the gym, I'd go to the track
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every single day. I focused on becoming the best athlete that I could be so that essentially no
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one, but really those kids could never pick me last again, you know, or no one ever in the world
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could pick me last again type of feeling. And it worked really well. You know, I got incredibly great
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as an athlete and it was all state and three sports and all American and two sports in college and played
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professional football. And now I'm on the USA national handball team. And in a lot of ways it
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served my purpose of being a great athlete, but I lacked this sense of fulfillment inside because I
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was coming from a place of proving others wrong as opposed to lifting others up. And I think that's
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where we as men get to shift whenever we're coming from a place of doing something to prove others
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wrong and to look better than, and to be right and others wrong. It's not going to be fun at the
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end of the day. There's going to be some suffering or unfulfillment inside of us at the end of the
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day. That's just not how we want to live. So what's the difference between a guy like you who takes
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that? And I want to talk about external motivation versus internal motivation. But before we get there,
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I'd like to really know the difference between a guy like you who has this adversity, bullying this
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childhood where you didn't feel like you're worthy or belonging and actually use that to your
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advantage versus some people out there and maybe even the majority of people who that would
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literally cripple them, that would destroy them. And it's something a lot of people don't recover
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from. What's the difference between those two? I think it did cripple me in the sense that I was
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always alone. I always felt lonely and alone and scared. So emotionally I was crippled, but luckily at
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least I channeled it and I was very aggressive. I was passive aggressive, defensive, guarded, angry,
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resentful. So in a lot of ways it crippled me emotionally. But for whatever reason, I used that
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energy towards putting my body and mind through so much physical and emotional pain with training
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and sports and everything so that I could become better every single day. So luckily I used it for
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something good as opposed to like, I don't know, just doing drugs and going to prison or something.
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Yeah. So I was able to channel it in some ways, but in other ways it ruined me in relationships. It
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ruined me sexually. It ruined me in my family, emotionally, friends, everything. Not that I
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was constantly messed up or hurting everyone, but it just internally I felt like I wasn't living,
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being the man that I wanted to be and I didn't know how to get out of it.
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And, and when I finally became aware of this, you know, and I was still a loving guy, joyful,
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playful, but I think I just had triggers. I think we all have triggers. Mine were just very strong
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triggers. It wasn't until a few years ago when I started to be aware of it. And once I was aware
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of it, finally, I was like, Oh, okay, this is what's been holding me back. This is what's been
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hurting me. This is why, you know, I feel like a piece of crap when I react this way. You know,
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I just started to be aware of it. I think I just started to grow up a little bit. It was that
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awareness that was the first kind of like step and shifting. Now I still have to do like constant
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work and build positive habits every single day so that I don't go back to that old place.
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And I'm not perfect, but I'm able to acknowledge it when it happens and see it for what it is. And
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I just feel much more at peace internally as opposed to feeling like this negative pain.
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Yeah. Was this awareness just built over time or was this a single event? Because I think sometimes we
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get stuck in this box, right? And we don't even know what the hell's happening to us. Sure.
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What did that look like for you? It was over like a, I'd say like a four to six month period. I did a,
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I did a leadership workshop a few years ago that kind of like brought all my crap to the forefront.
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Like there was different exercise in the games that we play. And I kind of realized like how I was
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showing up in the world based on these exercises. And it just kind of woke me up. I was like,
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oh really? Do I really act like this all the time? Interesting. And do I really react like this
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when something like this happens? And then for the next kind of like four to six months, I was just
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constantly doing the work on myself. And I had a coach who was kind of like helping me out and
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things like that. So that was a great process for me in transitioning everything. And after that,
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you know, all sorts of things started to shift. You know, I sold a company for seven figures. I
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healed a past relationship of mine. I connected more intimately and honestly with my, all my family
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members. I opened up about for the first time in 25 years about getting raped as a, as a poor,
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as a boy when I was five by my babysitter's son. And I just started to let go of this perfectionism
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image that I felt like I had to have, you know, these masks that I was wearing in order to be like
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a successful, strong, indestructible man. And I kind of just started to reveal myself. And I think
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that revealing of myself and others accepting of who I have been and who I am took all this
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kind of weight off my shoulders because I felt like I couldn't let anyone know of what happened to me or
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my fears or my insecurities. And when I finally started to just talk about it, just really open up to
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everyone. It was a huge game changer for me personally, by doing that in amount, maybe it
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wouldn't work for everyone, but for me that it was a big game changer. Yeah. So this is actually
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interesting. You bring this up because I got an email from you this morning and you've got a book
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coming out. I think it's next year. So I hope it's okay. We talk about this right now, but I think
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it's a lot and I don't know much about the book. I know the title mask of masculinity. And is this what
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you're talking about or help us understand what you mean when you say that? Yeah. Masculinity is a book
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that I'm writing right now and it's coming out next year in October. But you know, for the last
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few years, I've been, as I was writing the school of greatness book, because I kind of wanted to put
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all the things I've learned out there from all the guests I've interviewed and things like that.
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And my experiences in sports and business, like what is greatness and how do you make it happen for
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yourself? So I wrote that book. And then as I was writing it, I was kind of going through this
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process at the same time. And I remember just being like, man, someday I want to talk about
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this specific topic, but it's kind of scary for me to talk about. It's kind of scary for me to put
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myself out there and reveal even more things about me that I haven't talked about and just let the
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world know. But I have just been feeling called, like I need to do some work with men, but also and
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with women and just share my experience. Now, in no way, shape or form, am I like this expert coach
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who can like help everyone with their issues or whatever? But I feel like I'm pretty good at
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seeing it for what it is on people and guiding them through a process that I think can help them
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get to a next step. And so we've been doing a lot of research and writing the book about the masks
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that men live with and carry in front of their face on a daily basis to protect themselves, to
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not show vulnerability, to act like they're better than they really are, to conquer women,
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all the different things to not show emotion or express or be intimate because we're afraid of
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abandonment or whatever it may be. The things that we do on a daily basis that maybe we're not even
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aware of that hold us back from ultimately our true greatness, from ultimately having fulfillment
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inside of us, from ultimately having the woman of our dreams, from having the career of our dreams,
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the relationships with our families, with our children's, whatever it may be that we want,
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there's something that we wear in front of us that holds us back from it if we don't have it yet.
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And so I want to uncover that and then give men and women the tools on how to work through it.
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Yeah, that sounds interesting. I know that the guys that are listening to this are going to be
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interested. So we'll make sure we keep everybody in tune with when that's released and all of that.
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I mean, I know how this has worked in my life and this has been a journey just over the past,
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literally a year and a half for me where I've opened up and I've talked about some of my
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experiences and it's been empowering in my life. It's been empowering, obviously, in other people's
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lives. And so I know how it's worked for me. But as you begin to open up and be vulnerable and shed
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that mask in a way, how have people responded to you and what you're doing now at this point?
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In every area, it's been unbelievable. Internally, it's been amazing. With my friends and family,
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I have deeper relationships with my girlfriend. I have a deeper relationship with my business.
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There's less stress and I feel like growth is more expansive more than ever now. I feel like
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I'm able to connect with people. Like when I speak on stage, I just feel like a sense of calm
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and presence and awareness of everyone's feelings in the room. And I never had that ability before.
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It was more about me trying to look good and not mess up. And now I come from a place of
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being in service. And I'm not going to be perfect, so don't try to be. But if I show up as myself and
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who I really am and focus on giving outward as opposed to trying to gain some credibility inward,
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then I'll never be able to mess up. And the mess ups won't be a mess up. It'll be a perfect
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experience to connect with someone. So for me, it's just been a game changer on all levels.
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All right, guys, quick mid-podcast break. You have heard me talk about it. I'm sure you might
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be getting sick of it by now. Our very first live event, The Order of Man Uprising, which is going
00:19:30.260
to be held September 15th through the 18th in the mountains of Southern Utah. We are getting close to
00:19:35.520
filling this up and I want to give you some more details about it. There are just too many guys out
00:19:39.340
there that are not living life the way that it was meant to be lived. And at the end of the day,
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we, as men, seem to have lost our way. We're not serving our families. We're not serving our
00:19:47.760
businesses. We're not serving our communities the way that they need to be served. And I want to work
00:19:52.520
right alongside with you face-to-face to make sure that changes. So we've got tactical scenarios.
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We've got survival situations. We're going to be planning and executing the perfect day for you.
00:20:02.760
And you're going to walk away with tools, resources, strategies, all of the insights and the
00:20:07.400
tactics that you need to excel in life and live like a man. Everything is included. So you're not
00:20:12.780
going to have to worry about anything. All you have to do is get to Las Vegas by September 15th
00:20:18.220
at 11 a.m. And we are going to take care of the rest. We're going to get you there. We're going
00:20:22.220
to feed you. We're going to do the events, the instructions, world-class instruction,
00:20:25.380
and you're going to walk away again with all of the tools and resources you need to excel.
00:20:29.980
So we're going to fill these spots up. So make sure if you are interested to go to
00:20:33.100
orderman.com slash uprising to reserve your spot. And now let me get back to my interview with Lewis.
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Yeah. You know, I think there's, and this reminds me of something. I think there's this movement
00:20:43.820
for lack of a better term of, I don't care what other people think. And I kind of get what they're
00:20:49.880
saying, but at the same time, I've never felt like that. But I feel like I'm getting to that
00:20:53.420
same position that you are. Not that I don't care what other people think, but that I'm so
00:20:57.800
focused on me that what they think of me is maybe irrelevant. I don't know if this is making
00:21:03.560
sense, but is there any way that you would quantify that thought process?
00:21:07.880
Listen, I'm a recovering people pleaser. So I want people to enjoy my work and like me and
00:21:14.160
talk about my content and buy my stuff. I want people to think highly of me because I think
00:21:20.400
highly of myself, but I'm not going to change who I am for someone just because it's their own,
00:21:27.100
they have an issue with me or something. I'm receptive to listening to feedback and seeing how I can
00:21:32.180
support that person. But if someone's just going to attack me or has something nasty to say and
00:21:38.000
whatever, then that's on them. And I can't please everyone, but obviously I'm going to do my best
00:21:43.460
and that's all I can do. So let's talk about maybe some actionable things, some tactics. I mean,
00:21:48.480
we'll get down to it of how a guy begins to maybe be more vulnerable, shed that mask, open up and really
00:21:55.220
live in the truth is what I call it to who he really is and how he really feels about the world.
00:22:00.140
I mean, some of the tools are something simple to start with is to create a list. I think when we
00:22:07.400
put pen to paper, something magical happens more so than just communicating it. But I also think
00:22:12.660
having conversations is powerful, but a lot of it is communication. We write down the things we are
00:22:19.080
grateful for every single day that does something to us. When we, when we express gratitude, it's hard
00:22:23.840
to be angry and grateful at the same time. Gratitude is the antidote of anger or resentment
00:22:31.000
or frustration or scarcity. When we are feeling those things or defensiveness, when we are feeling
00:22:41.640
those things, focus on what we are grateful for. Focus on, you know, I'm assuming most of the people
00:22:47.400
are in the United States. Like I travel all over the world for, you know, sports or business or
00:22:53.360
speaking. And every time I go somewhere and I tell people I live in Los Angeles, people just like
00:22:57.860
are in awe of the idea of possibly traveling to the United States one day.
00:23:04.240
Especially in South America. Like, you know, I play handball with, with guys in Spain and Brazil and
00:23:08.540
Argentina. And they're like, it would, it is my dream, my childhood and lifelong dream to just
00:23:13.920
visit for a weekend to America. Interesting. Yeah. And so I just gained so much perspective
00:23:19.260
when I'm around people who I'm like, I live in freaking a nice condo building with an incredible
00:23:24.860
view of Beverly Hills and Hollywood. And like, I haven't, I have a valet, a rooftop pool. Like
00:23:32.240
I haven't freaking made, I am super blessed and super grateful that I have all of my needs met and
00:23:38.760
I have abundance around me. So the first thing is like, okay, live in gratitude. And when we
00:23:43.900
do that, we start to have perspective on how amazing life actually is. That's the first
00:23:49.940
thing. I think the second, the second thing is writing down your thoughts on a daily basis
00:23:55.960
of if something happened to you today and you were angry or frustrated or pissed off or you
00:24:02.980
didn't feel fulfilled, write it down. The next thing is being aware of what your feelings and
00:24:08.180
emotions are and seeing what the patterns are that show up. Because if we don't know the
00:24:13.100
patterns, we can't shift anything. If it's just going to continue to cycle, but we're
00:24:17.820
not aware of it, it's just going to continue for the rest of our lives. So we got to become
00:24:21.160
aware of it. Write down, I was, today I was feeling really defensive when I was playing
00:24:24.540
pickup basketball and someone like started trash talking me. Like why, why was I feeling
00:24:30.020
defensive? Why do I react in that moment? Why can't I just like laugh it off? Because
00:24:34.940
who cares? It's a pickup basketball game that doesn't mean anything. You know, so write
00:24:39.020
these things down. I think that's really the first step to this is being aware and
00:24:44.000
then you can kind of move from it through there.
00:24:46.360
Yeah. It's interesting you would say this because I just made a Facebook post yesterday
00:24:49.620
about emotions, how too many people are trying to hide or pretend they don't have emotions.
00:24:54.520
And part of this is the stoic movement. And there is a lot of truth in stoicism, but I
00:24:59.060
think it's been taken too far. Like don't even have emotions at all. When in all reality,
00:25:03.160
you actually need to listen to your emotions because they're trying to teach you something,
00:25:06.620
not hide them, but understand them. Exactly. So we're talking about journaling. We're talking
00:25:11.000
about gratitude. We're talking about writing down these emotions. Is this something that
00:25:14.340
you're doing continually, constantly throughout the day, dude, in the morning, evening, how does
00:25:17.700
this look for you? Yeah. For me, it's a, it's a way of life. So I, you know, in the morning I
00:25:21.680
express it. Uh, if someone calls my cell phone, I say, thanks for calling. Make sure to tell me what
00:25:28.400
you're most grateful for today. And then I'll leave you and then leave your message and I'll call you
00:25:32.220
back. It's, it's constantly, I'm constantly evoking it out of people that I connect with
00:25:37.180
on my team calls. We start with gratitude. So for me, it's a constant thing. I say three things
00:25:42.740
I'm grateful for before I go to bed. It's just like a way of being because the bigger the game
00:25:47.580
we're up to in life, the bigger the dream, the more challenges. So I feel like it's even more of
00:25:52.380
a responsibility for us to, to live in that space. That's just for me at least.
00:25:56.760
So one of the big things that you talk a lot about, obviously you've talked about in the blog and
00:26:00.140
the podcast and all that you've been doing in your work, but you also talk about it quite a bit
00:26:03.220
in the book, which is the power of implementing habits. I want to talk about that because I
00:26:08.140
think it's really easy for us to get emotional or get us to get hyped up on a goal or a vision
00:26:12.040
that we have for ourselves and then fail in the execution of habits that, that it takes to get
00:26:16.320
there. Yeah. Habits are powerful, man. I mean, when I'm living in my habits and I'm waking up every
00:26:23.160
morning and going through my routine, I feel like on top of the world and the most productive that day.
00:26:29.160
And I feel less reactive to the stresses in the world that day. When I am off my routine or my
00:26:34.640
habits, I feel more reactive and I can feel it throughout the day and I get more frustrated or
00:26:39.980
upset or whatever. And so for me, it's something that's powerful. And my, my routine in the morning
00:26:45.020
when I'm, when I'm on is wake up and immediately do meditation for 10 minutes. I use Headspace app
00:26:52.420
and then I'll do some light stretching. I just feel like moving and stretching the body. For me at 33,
00:26:57.300
from all the sports I played is what works for me, uh, for about seven to 10 minutes. And then
00:27:02.540
I'll go right into a workout and I mix it up. I'll do a run. I'll do a hit workout. I'll play
00:27:07.440
basketball. I'll do a lift. I'll do kickboxing. And it just depends on what I'm feeling like right
00:27:12.100
now or the season I'm in. And then I come back, take a shower and, um, I will express what I'm
00:27:18.720
grateful for and, and get ready to go. And that's kind of like how I get started. Keep it simple.
00:27:24.940
And the last thing I do is I always make my bed because I think having a clean room and space
00:27:29.620
set you up for a clean, productive day as opposed to leaving it messy. So that's just what I do.
00:27:34.920
Cool. Yeah. I totally see that. If I'm, if I'm off with things, I did this just the other day. My,
00:27:39.400
my office was a complete just wreck. It was destroyed and I was not being productive in the day.
00:27:45.820
And I literally stopped everything, shut down the computer, turn off the phone and I cleaned the
00:27:50.120
office and immediately it changed around my entire day. Exactly. Exactly. How do you cap
00:27:55.760
your day? I mean, we talk a lot about, everybody talks about what the beginning of their day looks
00:27:58.940
like. How do you, I mean, when I'm on, I'll, uh, shut off all the computer and, and TV or whatever
00:28:05.720
and phone. And, uh, I like to sit on my balcony and either have some tea or just sit there. And,
00:28:12.540
um, if I'm alone, then I'll just chill alone and think of my thoughts and express what I'm grateful
00:28:17.780
for. If my girlfriend's there, then we'll, we'll just have a conversation of what we're grateful
00:28:21.440
for and what we're excited about creating for tomorrow. And then just kind of get ready for
00:28:26.420
bed. So I'm usually pretty good at sleeping now, but if, uh, if I, if I can't sleep, I'll just put
00:28:31.320
on my 10 minute meditation and fall asleep. What about, uh, during the day? Cause I know a lot of us
00:28:37.040
have, I've got a list here I'm looking at right now and I've got 20 things I need to get done this
00:28:41.160
week on it. How do you prioritize? Like, where do you put your focus and emphasize your attention
00:28:45.480
on first and how does that look for you? You know, it differs, but if I'm on, if I'm on,
00:28:50.660
then, um, I usually create a list of three things I want to create from the day before the night
00:28:56.120
before of the three most important things. The goal is to tackle those things first. Uh, but my life is
00:29:02.700
every day is different. So there's always something different happening and I'll be preparing for a
00:29:07.800
webinar or a speech, or I'm writing my book right now and I'm preparing for this big event and
00:29:12.920
traveling and training for handball. So it just kind of depends. And I just do my best every day.
00:29:18.360
What do you mean by on? You said when you're on, this is how you do it. I mean, when I'm like,
00:29:22.120
when I'm doing my habits at a hundred percent, then that's what I mean. But some days I'm not
00:29:27.980
doing them about a hundred percent. And, you know, some days I just get up and start going or some
00:29:31.400
days I'll just get up and work out and I won't do the normal routine that I have.
00:29:35.900
Sure. Yeah. So what's the importance of mixing it up then?
00:29:38.500
Um, I think for me, that's the spice of life. I think for me, it's, uh, if it's the same thing
00:29:43.320
every day, then it's not my dream day anymore. So I want to do something that's always adventurous
00:29:47.900
and creative and keeps me sharp and alert and, um, and fun. So it's good to have a routine for me for
00:29:53.840
a while, but then I like to mix it up and change the routine and, or at least have half my day
00:29:59.320
different, you know, something because that's what keeps me excited. What do you say to the guy who
00:30:05.840
maybe feels what you just said is like, yeah, I'd love to mix it up, but I'm so regimented.
00:30:10.340
You know, I look at my life personally, for example, I've got two businesses I'm running.
00:30:14.020
I've got four kids at home. I've got some community service that I'm involved with.
00:30:17.680
And mine happens to be not so structured, but I know a lot of guys listening to this
00:30:21.660
are so regimented in their days because other people are dictating the way they spend their time.
00:30:25.920
I mean, then if that's worse for you, then do what works for you. I mean, for me,
00:30:29.180
uh, I'm an entrepreneur and I like the lifestyle that I have. Um, it works for me at this moment.
00:30:35.780
You know, maybe when I have a kid or I'm married, it won't work for me anymore and I'll need to have
00:30:40.340
more structure throughout the day, but I've got a team around me. I've got 10 people. I've got a
00:30:45.720
full-time assistant who cooks all my meals. So I don't have to think about those things because
00:30:50.940
I've built the team around me to do all the things that I don't want to do and to support my
00:30:56.480
lifestyle so that I can work and then walk outside into my living room. And then there's
00:31:01.700
a meal prepared, prepared for me. And I don't have to deal with any cleaning or cooking or
00:31:05.660
shopping or prepping. It's just, I can focus on what I do best. And that's what I like.
00:31:11.140
So where does the guy who says, I want what Lewis has in, in what you just said,
00:31:16.040
get started if he's not there right now. You create a list of your dream day, write it out.
00:31:22.360
What does your dream day look like? Perfect day for you. Write it out. What are you doing?
00:31:26.480
When do you wake up? Where are you traveling to? Where do you live? How big is your space?
00:31:31.540
Who's next to you? Who are you connecting with? What are you creating? Write it all down.
00:31:37.900
And then you start reverse engineering. Okay, what do I need to do to create this? Who do I need to
00:31:42.020
become to create this? What do I need to learn to do this? What does my team need to look like?
00:31:47.480
And then you just start putting it out there. Be as detailed and specific as possible
00:31:51.520
for your perfect day and start enrolling others around you and supporting your vision.
00:31:59.040
Awesome. Yeah, I can see how powerful that would be. What are you most excited about right now? I know
00:32:03.620
you've got a ton going on. What excites you the most? What drives you the most?
00:32:07.140
I'm going to Rio in two days, so I'm going to the Olympics.
00:32:10.000
Yeah, I'm excited about that to watch. And I've got a bunch of my podcast listeners are Olympians. So it's got a lot of them
00:32:16.980
we've been reaching out and I'm going to go watch them play and compete and hopefully win some medals.
00:32:22.000
And I'm excited about my event. And I've never done this event before. I'm hosting an event called the Summit of Greatness
00:32:27.820
where I'm bringing 12 of the most inspiring speakers in the world to Columbus, Ohio.
00:32:32.160
And every morning I'm going to have four different elite athletes, world-class athletes, champions, Olympians
00:32:40.300
leading workouts in the morning to give people a total body, mind, and heart experience of how to live a great life
00:32:48.980
and what it looks like and feels like from some of the best in the world.
00:32:53.080
So I'm excited about that. It's the end of September and it's summitofgreatness.com to kind of see what we're creating there.
00:32:59.500
And yeah, I'm excited about writing my book too, Mask of Masculinity.
00:33:04.740
Yeah, you've got a ton going on. We'll make sure we link everything up so the guys that are listening to this can check out the summit.
00:33:09.580
I was actually on your site this morning as I was preparing for our conversation today and saw the lineup of speakers that you have.
00:33:15.640
It's going to be awesome. It's going to be an amazing event.
00:33:22.500
Oh, I was going to ask about that. So 2020 then?
00:33:26.140
Hopefully, or hopefully we get the bid in the U.S. in 2024.
00:33:31.480
Cool. We'll be rooting for you in the meantime.
00:33:33.860
So Lewis, I want to ask a question that I ask every single guest.
00:33:36.700
And I know this is something that you've been thinking about a lot lately as you're preparing and writing your book.
00:33:43.280
It means to discover and follow your dreams and live in service.
00:33:50.640
I mean, if you're not following your dreams, then I don't think you're living your potential as a human being, let alone a man.
00:33:58.440
But I think it's your duty as a man to discover what your purpose is.
00:34:04.860
But to discover what it is and pursue that purpose.
00:34:09.060
You may never achieve it, but the pursuit is the thing that's most important.
00:34:13.340
And we can't fully be a man, in my opinion, if we're not in service to others.
00:34:19.380
Whether that's being in service of our family, you know, making sure that everything's taken care of.
00:34:25.700
But being in service to others is what it means to be a man.
00:34:29.140
In your experience, what is the number one thing that keeps men from pursuing that dream?
00:34:35.220
Because I've never met anybody who didn't have a vision for the future.
00:34:38.360
But it's few and far between on the people who actually do anything about it.
00:34:44.360
That's what it really comes down to, is they're afraid to look bad, be made fun of.
00:34:50.540
They're afraid of their image, what people are going to say about them when they go do it,
00:34:55.420
or what people are going to say about them when they fail.
00:35:02.200
And they'd rather be right at something they're average at or that they don't love
00:35:08.360
than pursue something that they might fail at and be wrong at.
00:35:12.600
So I think it's getting away from their ego that holds us back in general.
00:35:18.340
You know, I've been there many times and still working on that.
00:35:23.800
And I think we could cycle back all the way through this conversation again,
00:35:26.420
because I'm assuming that your answer to overcome that would be being aware of the way
00:35:30.520
that you're actually behaving and how it's hindering your ability to move forward.
00:35:39.880
And then overcoming fear of failure, I think, is really walking yourself through scenarios.
00:35:47.980
If I'm not going to go after what I really want, why am I here?
00:35:55.080
Or to actually create something in the world that could be meaningful?
00:35:58.380
Or create something in my community or for my family?
00:36:00.940
It doesn't have to cure cancer, but just do whatever your curiosity leads you to
00:36:07.320
I think you don't want to live, you don't want to be 100 years old and die with all
00:36:11.080
these regrets that, oh, I wish I would have, but I was too afraid.
00:36:14.540
Here lies Lewis Howes, too afraid to go after his dream because he didn't want to be made
00:36:22.200
Here lies Lewis Howes, dead with a broken heart because he was too scared to go after
00:36:29.340
Here lies Lewis Howes, who had the courage to go after his dream and served humanity
00:36:37.020
Like, that's something that I can be proud of to leave my legacy behind.
00:36:41.320
And none of my grandkids, great grandkids said, hey, here is an inspiration, a symbol
00:36:46.880
of inspiration of a man that we can look up to and live our lives without fear and go
00:36:53.420
I think it's our duty to be symbols of inspiration as men, is to be a symbol of someone who is
00:37:03.660
It doesn't mean you have to be courageous and not show emotion, but it can be courageous
00:37:08.680
in overcoming your own demons and fears and communicating and being a symbol of inspiration
00:37:15.740
for those around you, being a symbol of harmony, peace, growth, love.
00:37:26.060
How do we connect with you and find out about the work you're doing and specifically about
00:37:30.040
Yeah, lewishouse.com has all my information, but I'm at lewishouse everywhere on social
00:37:38.760
Hey, Lewis, I just want to let you know I appreciate you, man.
00:37:41.180
I appreciate your work, everything that you've been doing over the years.
00:37:43.640
I've been following you and the opportunity to talk with you and then your ability to impart
00:37:53.800
Mr. Lewis Howes teaching us what it takes to discover our own path to greatness.
00:37:57.440
So make sure you check out the show notes at orderofman.com slash 073 for the links and
00:38:02.040
the resources that we shared today during our conversation.
00:38:05.080
And in the meantime, you want to make sure you check out that uprising event, which is
00:38:12.840
So if you're interested, you need to get your spot quick.
00:38:14.520
We're going to be bringing in daily instructors and it's going to be an event unlike anything
00:38:20.780
So go to orderofman.com slash uprising for all the details.
00:38:24.100
In the meantime, guys, I look forward to talking with you on Friday, but until then, take action
00:38:30.220
Thank you for listening to the Order of Man podcast.
00:38:33.160
You're ready to take charge of your life and be more of the man you were meant to be.
00:38:36.840
We invite you to join the order at orderofman.com.