Order of Man - OoM 075： From Rock Bottom to Rock Star with Ryan Blair

00:00:00.000 Somewhere at some point you have hit rock bottom. I know I certainly have. For me, it was seven years

00:00:04.140 ago when my wife and I decided to call it quits. Fortunately, I hit it hard enough and fast enough

00:00:08.420 I was able to do something about it and save our marriage. Today, I talk with my friend and New

00:00:12.160 York Times bestselling author, Ryan Blair, about hitting rock bottom, how to dig yourself out of

00:00:16.740 it, and become a rock star. You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest. Embrace your fears

00:00:22.620 and boldly chart your own path. When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time, every

00:00:28.400 time. You are not easily deterred or defeated, rugged, resilient, strong. This is your life.

00:00:35.320 This is who you are. This is who you will become. At the end of the day, and after all is said and

00:00:40.800 done, you can call yourself a man. Men, what's going on today? My name is Ryan

00:00:45.560 Mickler and I am your host and also the founder of Order of Man. As always, I'm glad you're here with

00:00:49.940 us today. You know we're talking about all things manly in this show, specifically how you can be a

00:00:54.600 better man in your life. A better leader, a better father, a better husband, a better business owner,

00:00:59.140 again, just being a better man. Men, we are three weeks away. I'm so excited about our inaugural

00:01:03.960 Order of Man Uprising. This is a three-day experience in the mountains of Southern Utah.

00:01:07.840 It is designed to help you be a better leader, a better protector, a better provider in your family,

00:01:12.600 in your business, in your community. And basically, we're taking what we talk about on each and every

00:01:17.340 show of the podcast and we're putting it into action. So if you're interested in the details,

00:01:21.300 go to orderofman.com slash uprising to get all of those. I mentioned the discount available to

00:01:26.360 veterans last week. It still applies and we literally have three spots left. So make sure

00:01:30.880 you jump on that quickly. Now guys, I want to get into the meat of the show. We've got a great one

00:01:35.120 lined out for you today with my friend in New York Times bestselling author. But before I introduce you

00:01:39.000 to him, let me give you two quick resources that you will be interested in. First, you can get all of

00:01:43.320 the details, the show notes for this show at orderofman.com slash 075. And second, make sure you join

00:01:49.620 our closed men's Facebook group for a deeper conversation about this show at facebook.com

00:01:54.340 slash groups slash orderofman. Now let me introduce you to my guest today, Ryan Blair. He is the co-founder

00:02:00.540 and CEO of Vaisalus Sciences. He's a number one New York Times bestselling author, a serial entrepreneur

00:02:06.360 who came from nothing to lose, everything to gain. And at the age of 21, Blair had already founded his

00:02:11.060 first business, 24 seven tech, and has since created and sold numerous other companies for hundreds

00:02:16.040 of millions of dollars over the course of his career. In 2011, he wrote a book titled Nothing

00:02:20.340 to Lose, Everything to Gain, How I Went from Gang Member to Multi-Millionaire Entrepreneur,

00:02:24.920 which reached the New York Times bestseller list. And in 2012, Ernst & Young named Blair as

00:02:29.440 Entrepreneur of the Year. Today, he's here to talk with us about his new book,

00:02:33.340 Rock Bottom to Rock Star. Ryan, what's going on, man? Thanks for joining me on the show today.

00:02:39.060 Thank you for having me, Ryan.

00:02:40.640 Hey, I want to lead off with a strong question just to get right into it. You wrote a new book

00:02:44.960 and the title is From Rock Bottom to Rock Star. And I really want to know what you mean when you say

00:02:50.400 rock star, because I think there could be a lot of confusion about what that actually means.

00:02:53.300 Yeah, you know, it's interesting. You know, people ask me that a lot. Rock star today is used to

00:02:57.180 describe, you know, rock star engineers, for example, people that are just the best of the

00:03:02.100 best in their chosen sport, you know, and I wanted to, I wanted to take the meaning of rock star and

00:03:07.360 apply it to anyone doing anything above and beyond people that are fulfilled, that are happy,

00:03:12.740 and that are living a life, you know, of their dreams, and regardless of their chosen profession,

00:03:17.580 whether they want to be a rock star teacher, rock star engineer, or a rock star entrepreneur.

00:03:22.720 And that said, I use the word rock star because I have had some experiences that, you know, that I

00:03:27.700 teach my readers in Rock Bottom to Rock Star about, and specifically what not to do many times is

00:03:32.860 what I'm talking about, because, you know, certainly having had some of the success that I've had,

00:03:36.720 I've had a rock star life on occasion.

00:03:38.380 And I know a little bit about your story. You grew up without a father figure in your

00:03:43.220 life. You got involved in gangs, and some of this is similar to me, and I'm curious about

00:03:48.740 the differences between learning what not to do and learning what to do. Is one more effective

00:03:53.920 than the other, or how do you deal between the two?

00:03:56.140 Yeah, well, you know, everything in life is trial and elimination, right? So, you know, it's a process.

00:04:00.460 So you have to try something and eliminate it. So it's a combination of both. I could tell you if you

00:04:06.060 can learn what not to do, you know, and if you can learn what not to do from a person like me,

00:04:10.060 who has tried a lot of different things, that's the best form of learning. So I would rather have

00:04:14.500 a list of what not to do than a list of what to do, because we all instinctually know, or we've

00:04:19.300 been told what to do, and we elect not to. So, you know, I like to share a lot of my reading and a

00:04:24.460 lot of my writing is really about, you know, teaching people what not to do.

00:04:27.900 How do you see this in other people? Because you're right. I mean, you definitely want to learn

00:04:31.420 from other people. You don't want to go through it the hard way or reinvent the wheel. You might as well

00:04:34.800 just learn from someone like you or anybody else who's struggled in their life. How do you see this

00:04:40.620 and recognize this in other people and then apply it in your own life?

00:04:43.200 You know, you just have to ask good questions, you know, and have good friends. And, you know,

00:04:47.220 I, for example, this Saturday, I was sitting down with a friend that I know named Zach Scholler,

00:04:52.280 who sold his company for a ton of money. I'd known him for a long time. And we were just talking back

00:04:56.980 and forth about what not to do or what did we learn or who, you know, who would we not do business

00:05:01.800 with or how did this transaction come out to, you know, not work out the way it should have and so

00:05:06.680 forth. So you just got to have good people around you and ask good questions. Uh, but you got to

00:05:11.380 constantly ask questions and steer the, steer the narrative, not toward talking about all the good

00:05:15.740 things you've done, all the good things they've done, but all the things that we want to learn

00:05:18.660 from each other. Yeah. I think it's really easy to get stuck in our own ways and then just not be

00:05:23.580 open to asking those questions. I, I just spent four days with some guys who had managed to be

00:05:28.560 very, very successful in the online space. And it was amazing to see how these guys interact with

00:05:33.960 each other. It's not beating their chest. It's not telling each other how great they are. It is a

00:05:38.400 lot of question asking in what each of them have learned and how they can improve in their own

00:05:43.700 business and in their own lives. Yeah. One of my values is, uh, you know, be a, a good teacher

00:05:48.660 and a better student. And that's the explicit value that I've written down is I always want to be

00:05:53.200 a good teacher, meaning, you know, my, my goal in life is not just to teach us, you know, it's to,

00:05:58.160 to be a good teacher, but an even better student, which means you got to listen, you know, you got

00:06:03.120 to, uh, you know, put yourself in environments where you can learn and you got to be a lifelong

00:06:07.120 student and a lot, and, and the best of the best, especially in our world that are, it's changing so

00:06:11.600 much. And specifically, as you said, online advertising or online marketing, or, you know, I mean,

00:06:16.700 that changes nearly every day. And so if you're not a good student, you're, you're not going to be

00:06:20.440 relevant for long. I'm really curious about, cause I know a little bit about your network.

00:06:24.920 And I know you've mentioned in the book, the type of, and the caliber of people that you're

00:06:28.600 spending time with, not only spending time with, but your friends with, I think we hear this a lot.

00:06:33.000 Like your network is your net worth. And we hear these cliches. I want to know how you've been able

00:06:38.080 to build the network that you have, because I think that's critical for guys listening today.

00:06:42.700 Yeah, no, it is. And, and, you know, and I'll tell you, I'm a, uh, you know, based on the way I've

00:06:47.040 been raised and everything else, I just, I I've come to some very clear focuses in my life.

00:06:51.140 And I realized that I needed a mentor early on. And so I approach everyone, even to this day,

00:06:56.980 uh, you know, I need mentorship in a particular subject. So for example, uh, I have an office in,

00:07:02.160 uh, Troy, Michigan. I was contemplating moving my office from Troy, Michigan. It's a 63,000 square foot

00:07:08.080 facility to Detroit in partnership with Dan Gilbert, founder of Quicken Loans and the owner of the

00:07:13.180 Cavaliers. So the first person I tried to get ahold of to have this conversation was him.

00:07:17.720 Now I knew that Dan, you know, likely doesn't have a lot of time and would likely not receive

00:07:22.580 a ton of value by meeting me. Uh, but I took the shot and he did take the time. And next thing you

00:07:28.360 know, I'm on a, you know, I have a relationship with the guy. So I guess aim high, go after the

00:07:32.900 very best of the best. And a lot of times they'll just point you into, you know, someone else within

00:07:36.780 their organization, but you know, and I'll even give you another example. I was talking to the guys

00:07:41.340 at WeWork, the big, you know, the big shared office, uh, unicorn that's now worth 15 billion.

00:07:46.860 Uh, I I've known the founders for, you know, a long time. I had a question. I reached out to the

00:07:51.780 founders. They didn't send me to the, the, you know, the correct individual within the organization,

00:07:55.760 but I'm always pinging these people. I'm always asking questions and I'm always attempting to

00:08:00.520 engage them and, you know, knowing that their time is limited. So when you say you reached out to

00:08:05.680 these guys, what does that tactically look like? Uh, well, so I'd met the guy a long time ago,

00:08:09.880 Adam Newman, uh, through a mutual friend. Uh, when WeWork was getting started, he asked me to

00:08:15.700 invest in his company. I passed, uh, it was a $250,000 investment in 2011. My friend, uh, made

00:08:22.220 250 million or something like that as a result. Yeah. So, you know, I, I, I knew that I wanted to

00:08:27.960 keep these guys close, but I hadn't talked to him in a long time. So tactically, uh, one, one day I'm

00:08:32.760 reading Forbes magazine or fortune magazine. Adam's a number one, 40 under 40. And I reached out to him

00:08:38.300 and gave him a congratulations to my surprise. He remembered me and replied right back and,

00:08:43.060 you know, and I reengaged with them. So I'm constantly looking for reasons to reengage

00:08:47.220 somebody I know. And I'm also seeking to narrow the gap of degrees of separation. So for example,

00:08:53.400 one of my goals is to be on a first name basis with the president. And so I've, you know, I've

00:08:57.680 done a lot of different tactical moves to do just that, adding value to the president, uh, lobbying on

00:09:03.260 some initiatives and I'm a Republican by the way. Uh, you know, and I love Democrats and Republicans,

00:09:07.680 but you know, I, I had to take a unique approach to try to add value to a democratic president.

00:09:12.360 So that way I could have my voice heard. And next thing you know, I'm in the white house.

00:09:16.620 Interesting. So are you on first name basis? No, no. I always call him Mr. President.

00:09:20.820 Okay. You'll get there though. Right. I hope so. One day.

00:09:24.220 Yeah. Very cool. It sounds to me a lot like just being deliberate, like knowing what you want and

00:09:29.260 then creating a plan. And you mentioned finding focus is, is one of your strengths. One thing

00:09:34.240 that you're good at, how did you find that focus? And what are the areas that, that are your hyper

00:09:38.840 focused on in life? Yeah. One, one thing I'll say just back to you saying being deliberate on

00:09:42.820 networking, just to add one more piece of value here, I'd say that you have to have an angle with

00:09:47.900 each individual, right? Because everybody needs to be approached uniquely and, and, and, and personally,

00:09:53.260 and you need to have an objection and object, an objective with them, uh, and that angle that is clear and

00:09:58.700 concise and spelled out. So they get it as soon as they either read the inbound inquiry or whatever

00:10:03.040 the case is, or somebody communicates why Ryan wants to meet you, Mr. President, for example.

00:10:07.160 Sure. So you've got it, you know, you've got to find a unique angle, one where you offer value to

00:10:11.060 the individual. You're not just simply seeking to receive value because every day of the week,

00:10:15.600 somebody gets, you know, an inquiry of somebody asking them to invest or blah, blah, blah, blah.

00:10:19.980 So that said, I just wanted to add value there because I do believe Ryan, you're absolutely right.

00:10:24.520 Networking has been a huge factor in my success and will continue to be one.

00:10:29.180 Um, so I, you know, I hope that that added value now.

00:10:32.340 No, that makes sense. One thing I may want to mention just really quickly is I know that you

00:10:36.740 are going to be speaking at Lewis house event and we actually just had Lewis on the podcast.

00:10:41.960 And what was interesting is I reached out to him about a year ago, not anything against him.

00:10:46.220 He's busy. I mean, he's at a level that I wasn't at at the time. And so we didn't make the connection,

00:10:50.760 but like you said, I kept reaching out, kept reaching out. And then I finally reached out to him and I

00:10:54.200 said, Hey, we're getting some traction with the podcast. And this would be a great time for you to come

00:10:58.300 on the show so we can promote the event. And because I came and I led with value, he said,

00:11:03.220 yeah, that makes sense. Let's do it now. So just a quick antidote to your, uh,

00:11:07.200 Yeah. And Lewis Lewis is a great friend of mine too. And, you know, he asked me to be on his show

00:11:11.500 a long time ago. Uh, and, and I, I said, Hey, you're both, we're both in LA. I like to hike.

00:11:16.660 Let's go on a hike before the show. And we built a great bond on that hike. We got to work out in.

00:11:21.440 So, you know, we were, it's kind of a life hack work while you work out, so to speak. And,

00:11:25.040 you know, and, and, uh, Lewis has become a great friend. So, you know, that's just how,

00:11:29.220 that's how it works. But you have to, like you said, you have to have intentionality and you also

00:11:32.700 have to delete people from your network from time to time that are, you know, perhaps counterproductive or,

00:11:37.160 you know, they're not growing as an individual like you are. And so you can't keep space for

00:11:41.820 them or you can't, you know, you gotta, you gotta, you know, you gotta grow at the pace and speed that,

00:11:46.720 that you are set to grow at. And if other people are holding you back, you gotta, you know, you gotta

00:11:50.820 sometimes remove, I guess, uh, communication with friends and reduce communication with certain

00:11:56.600 people and increase communications with others. I obviously we're talking a lot about value. And

00:12:01.360 one of the things that I've seen a lot of guys get wrapped up in is they don't know how to

00:12:04.860 provide value in the book. You actually talk about your relationship with John Maxwell and the value

00:12:10.140 that he was actually looking for from you, where, where you assumed he was at a completely different

00:12:15.420 level. Talk to me about that. Yeah. So, uh, uh, you know, I've, I've always tried to reach out to

00:12:19.660 everyone and anyone. And when I have a chance to connect with a person like John Maxwell, you know,

00:12:24.420 I take it regardless of my direct desire of our agenda to, to say, you know, earn money or,

00:12:30.500 or do business deal or whatever the case is, I simply go after it. And I go after it, uh, as a

00:12:35.980 connection that I know that will result in something somewhere down the road. And I don't

00:12:40.380 have a specific agenda in many cases, John Maxwell is one of those people that I just reached out to

00:12:45.560 saying, I want some of him to rub off on me. Right. And that is it. Uh, and when I sat down with

00:12:51.200 him, you know, at first I was kind of skeptical because here's a guy that's, you know, that's super

00:12:56.240 wealthy, super famous. He sold 70 million books. He's, he's one of the most brilliant individuals

00:13:01.560 I've ever met. And I just asked him, why, why are you sitting here? Cause clearly it's not the amount

00:13:06.840 of money that I could pay you because you know, the, the, the world's leaders call upon John for

00:13:11.280 counsel. Clearly it's not because you want access to my friends because you know, John and I are a bit

00:13:17.160 of a generation apart and he likes to play golf, uh, probably five days a week in his later years.

00:13:22.480 Uh, and I don't play golf whatsoever. So, you know, through process elimination, we came to the

00:13:27.440 fact that he is seeking to leave a legacy and he felt like leaving some of his valuable wisdom in

00:13:33.000 my head, uh, would, uh, continue his work press beyond his lifetime. And it was a magical thing

00:13:39.160 for me to have clarity in what he wanted. He had clarity in what I wanted. And when you have that

00:13:43.460 clarity, you can build great relationships. In fact, my next book, rock bottom to rock star,

00:13:47.660 John gave me a beautiful testimony for the back cover of it. I was so excited when it came in.

00:13:53.000 Very cool. Yeah. Again, it just sounds like being deliberate and asking, right? I think that's the

00:13:58.360 lesson. Just asking, how can I help you? How can I serve you? And it sounds like he knew exactly what

00:14:02.700 he wanted and it was a win-win relationship. How do you manage all this? Because I know like for me,

00:14:07.420 you might be somebody that I want to get ahold of and then I want to get ahold of this guy and this

00:14:10.720 guy. And how do you manage your, your relationships? Yeah. Well, you know, it's funny that you say that one,

00:14:15.220 I have a fantastic staff. I have a right hand in my office that she used to work for Madonna.

00:14:20.420 She's a director of my office. So she, she knows how to operate at a very high level. 0.94

00:14:25.260 And so I hired, I hire people that are, you know, the best in the world at, at what they do. So

00:14:29.780 that's number one. Number two is I try to create systems. And right now I'm actually working on,

00:14:36.500 you know, my system to make sure that I'm constantly engaging individuals that are within

00:14:40.700 my network, sending them value, whether it be a copy of my new book signed to their daughter or

00:14:45.140 their son or whatever the case is. Uh, whether it be an article that I like, uh, I, you know,

00:14:50.180 I own a company called by Salas. It makes world renowned and great health and wellness and healthy

00:14:54.860 lifestyle related products. And so I'm constantly just trying to add value to people. And then at

00:14:59.920 some point I know in time, you know, the law of reciprocation will occur and value will be added

00:15:04.820 back to me, but I do it without, uh, you know, a specific intention to receive, just knowing that

00:15:10.760 putting it out there, I'm going to get it back somehow, some way. Yeah. Just knowing things

00:15:14.820 will take care of themselves. Yeah. I have a little more intentionality of just, you know,

00:15:18.380 let's toss it up and hope because hope isn't a strategy, but I know that I tell my friends I'm

00:15:23.980 on a hundred year plan. So, you know, and I tell everybody that like when my friend's going through

00:15:28.660 a relationship issue, I say, look, you know, you don't have to worry if your wife chooses sides and

00:15:33.620 doesn't like me or whatever the case is, cause I'm your friend for a hundred years. Right. So we're

00:15:38.080 playing for a hundred years here. Uh, don't think about things in short term. And so I think that's

00:15:42.360 one of the keys to me managing these relationships is setting expectation with them that we're doing

00:15:47.140 this for life for one, and there's no looking back. Right. So now we might separate or we might not

00:15:52.600 have constant time together, or there might be separation as a result of environment or things

00:15:58.540 going on in life and all that doesn't matter. If you look at life with a hundred year plan, so to

00:16:02.980 speak. No, that's a great point. We talk a lot about actually planting your flag. And if you

00:16:07.340 haven't planted your flag where, you know, it's going to be forever, then it's very easy to get

00:16:11.500 sidetracked. It's very easy to do things that are not in your best interest over the longterm,

00:16:15.940 but are really just built for short-term gain. So I get that. Yeah, very much so.

00:16:20.320 So I think I got you sidetracked a little bit here because we're going to talk about focus and the

00:16:24.180 areas that you focus on. So I want to come back to that. No, I appreciate that. So focus. So for me,

00:16:29.340 I'm blessed with ADD. I have a son with autism named Reagan and he's a magical. So focus in our

00:16:36.720 family is fleeting, but when we do focus, we have a hundred percent, you know, our blinders on and

00:16:42.340 intentionality toward whatever the task is. I also talk a lot about, and rock, but I'm the rocks are

00:16:48.500 compartmentalization. And so I look at life, you know, as a single day and a single day is 24 hours and it is

00:16:55.840 all one in the same to me, right? If I'm fulfilled at work and I'm fulfilled at play and I'm fulfilled

00:17:00.360 in my relationships that are non-work or non-professional, then I had a great day.

00:17:05.480 And so we focus and compartmentalize on what we got to get done every single day. And when you're

00:17:10.200 dealing with very difficult times, like, you know, like I have, my mother was in a coma for two years,

00:17:14.800 for example, and that was a real rock bottom moment for me. And, you know, and when I, the way I was

00:17:20.280 able to get through that was I compartmentalize the time that I dealt with that away from,

00:17:25.840 the time that I had to apply to my business, the time that I had to apply to my writing career,

00:17:30.040 uh, to my social relationships and to so forth. So you got to get good at compartmentalizing

00:17:35.500 because it's too easy sometimes to let one thing knock off, knock you off track on another.

00:17:40.000 And you can't allow that to happen because you have to have, you know, a purpose and a vision

00:17:44.180 that, you know, you have to be highly optimized in order to say, provide for your family,

00:17:48.660 or in my case, provide for my family. And then the thousands of other families that,

00:17:53.480 that, you know, that I support, uh, and eventually provide for hopefully the millions

00:17:57.560 of families that my charities will be giving to. So, you know, you gotta, you gotta continue

00:18:02.080 to be focused, but you gotta look at it in a very tactical, uh, manner and a very strategic

00:18:06.520 matter at that.

00:18:08.800 All right, men, quick mid podcast break. I mentioned it earlier, but we've got three spots left to the

00:18:13.020 inaugural order of man uprising, which is September 15th through the 18th, 2016. Now I began a journey

00:18:18.380 seven years ago to be a better man in my family and my business and my community. And I want to

00:18:23.320 share with you a live experience regarding the lessons that I've learned along the way between

00:18:27.480 the tactical scenarios that we're going to be running. We've got survival situations. We're

00:18:31.520 going to be executing the perfect day. You're going to walk away with a ton of tools, some resources,

00:18:35.700 the strategies, everything that you want and need to excel in life, to take your life to the next

00:18:40.660 level. Everything is included food, lodging events and instruction. You just have to get to Las

00:18:45.660 Vegas. That's it guys. Get to Las Vegas by September 15th, 2016 at 11 AM. And we will take

00:18:51.220 care of the rest. We're going to be filling up these spots quickly. I've got three left.

00:18:54.360 So go to order at man.com slash uprising, secure your spot right now as we gear up in the final

00:18:59.880 weeks to the uprising. Now, let me get back to my interview with Ryan.

00:19:04.460 So what are some of the systems then that you're using, whether that's, that's computer programs or

00:19:09.620 just a process maybe that you've developed, even if that's in your own head, that the guys can

00:19:13.380 extract from you to say, okay, here's how I take the priorities in my life and then actually spend

00:19:19.260 my attention on those important things. Yeah. I mean, for one, so one, I guess the most

00:19:23.880 important system that you have is trying to, to, to self actualize as best as you can to self improve,

00:19:29.940 to look yourself in the mirror and say, did what I was today a good day? Like, did I get the job done

00:19:36.000 today or did I screw up? And believe me, I do this all the time, you know? Yeah. And, and yeah,

00:19:41.580 so it's like, you know, yesterday, uh, I caught up on sleep and I had appointments that I had to

00:19:46.820 cancel and everything else. And, you know, and, and, uh, I realized, Hey, I could have made a better

00:19:51.640 game time adjustment than, you know, I could have caught up on some sleep on Saturday and Sunday,

00:19:56.460 as opposed to just relegating it all to Sunday and missing some appointments. So, but you wanted to

00:20:01.280 be fresh for this show, right? So I, I basically sacrificed a hundred meetings yesterday just for

00:20:05.920 me, Ryan. I appreciate that. Yeah. But you know, you got it, you got it, you got to constantly seek

00:20:10.700 to optimize. And the best analogy that I can use is I used to own a company called sky pipeline and

00:20:16.380 sky pipeline was in the broadband wireless communication space and broadband wireless is

00:20:20.860 simply radio frequency communication. Now here I'm a total nerd here. So give me one second,

00:20:25.440 but when you think about radio frequencies and broadband, imagine a radio dial with a hundred

00:20:30.580 different knobs on it, or imagine the old equalizers on a, on a stereo, you have to constantly adjust

00:20:36.100 them to get the right sound. And every one of us is going to have the right, you know, sound or the

00:20:40.500 right frequency. And that changes over life and it changes over time. And so you got to constantly

00:20:45.060 dial in your knobs and tune in your, your instrument, so to speak, in order for you to, you know, to

00:20:49.800 continue to operate at your highest frequency possible. Yeah. We talk a lot about, uh, I call them

00:20:55.300 after action reviews, which is basically going through the end of your day and looking about what you got

00:20:59.460 accomplished, what you didn't do and what you really want to improve tomorrow. Without that,

00:21:02.940 you're never going to have a benchmark for what you want to do. Yeah. Yeah. I, so I, I tend to do

00:21:06.680 mine. I tend to get up to say three hours. My, my best days are when I'm up three hours before

00:21:12.400 everybody else, meaning everybody else is going to try to contact me. I'm three hours ahead as opposed

00:21:17.100 to waking up, uh, to them contacting me or, you know, allowing, uh, uh, life to take over your agenda

00:21:23.520 during the day. So I try to do my planning and, uh, prior day review after I've slept on it.

00:21:28.580 Cause a lot of times when you're dealing in say, you know, uh, high cost, very expensive,

00:21:33.340 uh, high risk or high, uh, uh, emotion, uh, environments, you know, dealing with sort of,

00:21:38.760 you know, buying a company or selling a company and that type of stuff. A lot of times sleeping

00:21:42.520 on, it's a good, healthy thing to do as well to review. Hey, you know, did I act, uh, the way I

00:21:47.180 wanted to yesterday? Did I get the things done that I wanted to do? Did I have a fulfillment that I

00:21:50.980 wanted to have? And I tried to get up three hours before to do just that, to have that review.

00:21:56.080 That's interesting. Yeah. I've never looked at it like that. I do mine at the end of the day,

00:21:59.020 but that's something certainly worth considering that I may have to try and see if that works.

00:22:02.880 I've done them both. And some days I do it at the end of the day as well. It just really depends on

00:22:06.400 when my day ends. Sometimes my day ends at four or 5 AM, uh, based on, you know, my travel schedule.

00:22:11.800 And sometimes I'm shifting time zones and, you know, I was on the road for nothing to lose.

00:22:16.440 Uh, my first book, I was on the road for 220 days, uh, for two years in a row.

00:22:23.240 Oh my goodness. Yeah. So I'm, I'm, I'm, uh, uh, I was a bit of a road warrior and I did have to

00:22:28.840 create unique systems just to me and my lack of sleep in many cases.

00:22:33.500 Well, I think the point you're making is that you have to get it done and just do what works

00:22:37.260 for you. But as long as you get it done, that's the goal, right?

00:22:39.920 Yeah. The goal is, you know, you're, you're, uh, you're, you're, you're review process is

00:22:43.740 absolutely right. A person has to find a time when that review is in their best place. Like

00:22:48.540 for example, you know, you have a few children, I've got a child. There might be times where

00:22:52.980 I need to make sure that I do it after he goes to sleep or before he wakes up. So you just

00:22:57.260 got to find yourself a real optimized schedule.

00:23:00.280 I want to talk about this because it actually leads me into some of the premise behind the

00:23:03.580 book, which is some of the things that you've gone through and learned the hard way that

00:23:06.420 we can learn from. And, and the first one I want to cover, because this is

00:23:09.540 something a lot of guys, including myself, including you at times, uh, do to ourselves,

00:23:13.700 which is excuses. And you've got a whole section on excuses. So I want to talk about

00:23:17.720 how to identify when you're actually giving yourself an excuse that's probably just BS

00:23:22.620 and you need to burn past that.

00:23:23.760 Yeah. You know, that's interesting. Um, you know, it's tough because it's real easy to make

00:23:28.540 an excuse and I'll give you an example. Uh, you do it subliminally. So for example, I live

00:23:34.440 in the Hollywood Hills and you know, I live on top of a hill and I get this great wind and I

00:23:39.080 have an ocean view and you know, blah, blah, blah. And then I have an office in Midtown,

00:23:43.560 Los Angeles, for those of you not familiar, like this is the flatlands and it's the office

00:23:48.500 is in a skyscraper. And I found myself not wanting to go into my office. Right. Which

00:23:53.040 is, you know, which is not a, uh, uh, a great thing when you have a number of employees that

00:23:57.660 would like to see you. And so I realized that, you know, that I was making an excuse every

00:24:03.360 day not to go into this office because I liked the environment of my home much better. I'm

00:24:08.760 inspired by views. And so the action I took was one, recognizing the excuse, communicate

00:24:14.600 to my peers and my colleagues at my office, Hey, I noticed that I'm doing this. Help me

00:24:19.960 recognize if I find myself into this trap again. And then the last one is I'm moving the office

00:24:24.920 to a place that's more friendly to the environment that I want to create, so to speak.

00:24:28.740 Hmm. Yeah. So it just sounds like you're owning that and finding ways that make it work for

00:24:32.980 you.

00:24:33.200 Yeah. You have to. And that's a lot, a lot of what I talk about in my next book is I wanted

00:24:37.180 to create a business that operated around me. So I never wanted to sell it or leave a business

00:24:41.080 again, because, you know, you know, as you know, um, I, I bought and I've sold and I've

00:24:45.860 been part of a lot of different businesses. And so I wanted to, with my Salas, when I bought

00:24:50.440 it back, I wanted to make it something that, you know, I, I, I owned forever. And so, you

00:24:55.480 know, that's a very important aspect of, of how I'm trying to design.

00:24:58.260 I'm the environment around me.

00:25:00.300 How does that differ knowing that you're going to own it forever versus having a buyout

00:25:05.180 strategy or some sort of exit strategy?

00:25:07.160 Yeah. Well, for those of people not familiar on the phone, you know, I sold my first company

00:25:10.840 sky pipeline when I was 24 years old in a $25 million transaction. Um, yeah. And I started

00:25:17.000 when I was 21 and, uh, the venture capitalists made 24 to $25 million for round numbers.

00:25:23.080 Right. Um, sure.

00:25:24.260 So I learned all kinds of things about full ratchet provisions and the influence and the

00:25:28.100 way venture capitalists, you know, will manipulate the board or manipulate the buyer or they, you

00:25:32.660 know, they do everything they can to, to win on behalf of their investors, not necessarily

00:25:36.980 on behalf of their entrepreneurs. And so I saw and learned that the hard way. And I also

00:25:41.460 saw the heartbreak of some of my employees that lost their jobs when the company got bought

00:25:46.400 or lost, uh, the cause or the purpose or the chemistry that we had. And so when I, when I bought

00:25:52.440 by South or I bought by South in 2005, after selling sky pipeline, I, I, I didn't think I was

00:25:58.200 going to sell it. And then I got an offer in 2008 and I decided to sell it. It was a five-year

00:26:03.460 earn out. They, they bought it for evaluation of 32.5 million. Uh, and at the end of the five years,

00:26:09.900 it was worth 792.4 million. And so at the end of the five years, I, once again, I'd sold my company

00:26:16.140 through an interesting structure and you know, uh, a really, uh, unique transaction. I wound up

00:26:23.040 getting the company back because the buyer basically couldn't afford to pay me to leave

00:26:27.580 or pay me to stay. Uh, and so, you know, by the, by Sal's story is, is an interesting one to study

00:26:34.120 as a kind of a bit of a case study. Um, and when I bought it back, I realized, you know, I'd sold it

00:26:39.000 eight times EBITDA, which, you know, means basically the performance of the company,

00:26:43.680 their profitability over eight, you know, for eight years of getting paid. Now that's a cool

00:26:48.540 thing, but I realized, wow, I plan to be alive a lot more than eight years. So why would I sell

00:26:53.100 eight years worth of profit when, you know, when I got plenty of years left in me to build this thing?

00:26:57.680 And so that was a mistake. And it's funny. I sat down with my friend as a private equity Titan

00:27:01.840 and he's like, so selling by Sal's is a mistake. And I'd never thought of that because, you know,

00:27:06.680 I'd made a huge amount of wealth. I, you know, I'd certainly established myself as a, as a

00:27:11.720 successful deal maker and entrepreneur and builder of a company, but I realized it was a mistake.

00:27:16.380 So the difference this time around is I'm trying not to make the same mistakes twice. Um, you know,

00:27:21.020 we'll see where it goes. Nothing is fixed in stone, but the odds of me selling by Sal's anytime soon

00:27:27.080 are very, very low because me and my co-founders, you know, we bought this company back to build it

00:27:31.460 together for the rest of our lives. So, you know, who knows what'll happen? Uh, anything could change

00:27:36.520 and industry can change. Regulatory things can change. You know, I have no control over a lot

00:27:41.100 of things, but right now my focus is the longterm, not the short term. What sets a guy like you apart

00:27:46.680 from everybody else? Because I hear this, you've got your 21 year old kid, four or five years later,

00:27:50.940 you sell this thing for 25 million. You've got another business that sells for over 30 million.

00:27:54.740 These are stakes that guys just, it's not even resonating with people. I want to know how you got to

00:28:00.460 the mindset of playing at this caliber of, of level that you're at right now. Uh, you know,

00:28:05.320 the best, the best description, because you believe me with, with all these deals and

00:28:09.400 transactions has come a whole lot of criticism and hardship and sacrifice and all this stuff.

00:28:15.600 Right. So, so there is a, there is a double, uh, edge to this sword. You know, one of the,

00:28:20.700 the people I've studied a lot in life and I've always been inspired by way back in my start of my

00:28:25.700 career in 95, uh, was Steve jobs. And they used to say he had a re he was a delusional that he had,

00:28:33.020 you know, uh, a reality delusion, so to speak. And I've just been delusional. I've just, I just

00:28:39.240 thought that I could be a billionaire. I've just thought that I could make hundreds of millions of

00:28:42.960 dollars. And when people would tell me I was delusional, you know, I believed, and that's the

00:28:48.000 one thing you have to have. I mean, if you want to start a company, you're starting a thing. It is a

00:28:52.780 belief is what you're starting that, that, that first share that you have, or the, you know, the shares

00:28:57.580 that you have, all that is, is a piece of paper that has no value. And you see the value there and

00:29:03.020 you build the value there when no one else does. And as a result of that, you then have something

00:29:06.960 very valuable. And a lot of people just don't understand equity and the values of it and the

00:29:12.600 beliefs around it as because we're programmed to, you know, to believe it takes money to make money

00:29:17.660 or that we should get a good, you know, hourly, hourly wage, or that we should go to school and get

00:29:23.040 good grades and go to a great college so that we can one day work 40 years to then retire. And that

00:29:27.880 reality doesn't work for the majority of people. And, and so it's an illusion. And so I just chose

00:29:33.580 to create my own rules and my own beliefs. And I chose not to subscribe to anyone else's unless they

00:29:39.840 were an expert. So I don't listen to a single person's advice unless I believe they're an expert

00:29:44.280 in the advice category they're giving me. How do you create those beliefs in yourself when maybe

00:29:50.240 there isn't anything that you've done to prove that you should believe that way?

00:29:54.880 Yeah. You know, you, you have to, you have to have a bit of faith. I I'm a spiritual individual

00:29:59.080 and you know, I'm not here to preach my spirituality, but there's a, there's, there's,

00:30:03.360 there's so many great, wonderful things that I'm so grateful for that. I, I can't even tell you how

00:30:09.740 it happened. Like, how was I so fortunate to be born in America at a time of technological

00:30:15.460 revolution at a time when we are the richest superpower in the world at a time when you

00:30:21.320 have the innovate innovations of the internet, you know, self-driving cars. I mean, all these

00:30:26.520 things around me, I believe that I came here for a reason and that I was, you know, that I was gifted

00:30:31.700 this, this beautiful life that I have for a purpose and that's to give back. So I have a bit of faith

00:30:36.920 that I'm supposed to go through the good times and the bad times in order to teach and in order to

00:30:42.220 make the world a better place. And that's what I believe, you know, I've been so blessed to do.

00:30:46.540 And that's what I believe my life's work is. And so when you have that purpose, you know,

00:30:50.880 a lot of things get a lot better when you start to have clarity and why you're doing what you're

00:30:55.720 doing. Yeah. I mean, you sound like a guy who's obviously comfortable. You're confident with

00:30:59.540 yourself and your abilities. You talk about in the book as well, identifying yourself and the

00:31:03.900 importance of that. I want to, I want to address that issue because I think there are a lot of men

00:31:08.780 who listen to this podcast, who feel like they're wandering around a little bit aimlessly and are

00:31:13.480 never going to achieve the results they want to, and the results you're talking about, unless they

00:31:17.840 find a way to get clear with who they are. Yeah. Well, you know, and I got to tell everyone on the

00:31:21.980 phone here, I'm, I'm more confident now than I was yesterday, but believe me, I have, I have my own

00:31:27.920 challenges and, and, you know, a lot of results of my upbringing, you know, it was a very unique set of

00:31:35.900 circumstances. You know, I, I got kicked out of school when I was in ninth grade. I went to juvenile

00:31:40.340 hall. I was involved in a gang. I mean, all kinds of stuff like that. And I had a lot of insecurities

00:31:45.740 and I still am working on my insecurities. Right. But some of those things that are weaknesses can

00:31:51.300 drive you. And so you want to harness those things. Right. So as opposed to, you know, uh, seeing a

00:31:56.960 weakness as a weakness, I see it as a potential strength. And I sit, you know, like, for example, if

00:32:02.200 there's something that just keeps me up at night, you know, I, I, I don't, um, get mad at myself and

00:32:08.380 upset that I'm so tired. I think it's a magic that's keeping me up and I'm supposed to work

00:32:12.800 through that and determine, you know, is that something I got to fix or is that something I

00:32:16.760 got to grow with? Interesting. Yeah. I mean, there's never been anybody who has any level of success that

00:32:22.500 hasn't gone through some sort of hardship. But what's interesting is I noticed a common thread

00:32:26.840 between the most successful people and they are consistently and constantly bringing up and

00:32:32.360 talking about and how these hardships or the obstacles or trials they face actually made

00:32:37.240 them a stronger person. Yeah. Yeah. Well, that's the whole premise of rock bottom to rock stars.

00:32:40.780 And when I do the interviews, uh, you know, in preparing for the book and some of the people

00:32:44.480 I've interviewed, a lot of times people don't realize because they suppress these rock bottom

00:32:49.440 moments. Like it might be, uh, if you're successful, you might've gotten that way because of an

00:32:53.980 abusive situation because you, you know, saw a friend or family member go through a tough time

00:32:58.520 or because you individually went through some sort of tragedy. And, and as a result of that,

00:33:02.660 you, you, you know, you made a decision or a vow, or you modified your behavior consciously or

00:33:07.500 subconsciously. And so a lot of times people don't realize that that is the foundation. In fact,

00:33:12.360 it was a JK Rowling's quote that inspired me to the title of rock bottom to rock star. And that is,

00:33:17.460 she said, rock bottom became the foundation for which she built her empire. And when I saw that,

00:33:22.220 I realized, wow, me too. Right. That, that is the absolute foundation. One of the principles

00:33:27.060 that I write about is, you know, what weakens you strengthens you. And so there's a lot of people

00:33:32.160 that are very connected to their rock bottom moments, but they don't, they don't disconnect

00:33:35.720 from them enough to be able to grow from them and build from them. They, they wallow in them and

00:33:40.780 they dwell and they complain and they, you know, they, they have apathy and grief and shame and guilt

00:33:46.520 and all those negative, you know, emotions connected to it. And you got to just in life,

00:33:51.540 in my opinion, you got to delete the past as soon as you have it and go to work, you know,

00:33:56.880 today in the present and then hope for a great future and spend, you know, a fair amount of

00:34:01.120 time thinking about the future. But all we got is today for the most part. Yeah. What did that look

00:34:05.840 like when you came to this realization of hitting rock bottom that you actually had to do something?

00:34:10.420 What did it look like and feel like for you? And then what was the response of that and how to deal

00:34:13.940 with it? You know, well, so for one, I didn't realize the worst period of my life was when my

00:34:20.020 mother was in that coma. She fell down a flight of stairs. I'm a mama's boy. Uh, a lot of what I did

00:34:25.400 in life was to make her proud. You know, after I got my mentor at 17, I wanted to win. I wanted to

00:34:31.140 make my mother proud. I'm highly competitive. And now I had to see, you know, my mother's suffering and

00:34:36.180 going through a, you know, a very, very difficult, she had a brain injury after falling down a flight of

00:34:41.600 stairs. And, you know, this was a gruesome period. I didn't realize how much of a rock bottom period

00:34:47.520 that was for me, how, how much that was taking out of my energy and my life force, so to speak,

00:34:52.280 uh, until after I got through it. And, you know, by the grace of God and a miracle, my mother woke up

00:34:58.460 from that coma. And, and, you know, and I now get to have so much clarity in what I was supposed to go

00:35:03.340 through and learn from that experience. But during the period of time, sometimes you don't realize

00:35:07.500 you're about to hit a bottom. In fact, most people don't, because that's why they keep falling lower

00:35:11.640 and lower and lower. And, you know, and, and that's why, you know, sometimes people never

00:35:15.480 actually rise themselves back up because, you know, one of the rules of, uh, when you're falling,

00:35:20.860 right, when you're in a hole is to quit digging. And a lot of times people just keep digging when

00:35:24.900 they're in the hole and you got to just learn to quit digging when you're in a hole.

00:35:28.360 No, it makes a ton of sense. Ryan, we could cover so much and I know we just skimmed the surface,

00:35:32.140 but for the sake of time, what I would suggest guys go out, get the book. I've gone through it.

00:35:36.360 It's got some incredible insight, incredible value, and the stories in there I can really

00:35:40.160 relate to. So I appreciate you sharing that because I think it's going to change a lot of

00:35:43.600 people's lives. Awesome. Thank you, Ryan, so much. I really appreciate it.

00:35:46.620 So I want to ask you a couple other questions as we wind down here. And the first one I prepped

00:35:50.860 you a little bit for, and I ask all of my guests, what does it mean to be a man?

00:35:55.260 You know, that's a great question. And I, you asked it for me, uh, asked me that question earlier.

00:36:00.600 And I, it says, I have a struggle with it because, you know, to me, I didn't have a father growing up.

00:36:06.360 Uh, and I have a seven year old boy that, that named Reagan that has autism. And unfortunately

00:36:11.540 me and his mother didn't work out. We, we couldn't raise them together. We, you know,

00:36:15.200 we just, we grew apart and, and that separation could never really be healed. And so I have,

00:36:20.480 I'm a single father. So to me, uh, being a man is taking care of my son and doing whatever it

00:36:25.820 takes to make sure that he learns the lessons that I did not. And he's a better man than me.

00:36:29.780 And so being a man to me is being a great father. If you're not a father out there,

00:36:33.860 then be a mentor to someone, be a great mentor to a brother, to a sister, to a cousin,

00:36:38.260 you know, being a man, we have to show and model our leadership and our essence and in our society.

00:36:44.140 I don't see that happening enough. I see so many broken homes, so many fathers that have

00:36:48.420 disappeared from their children. And so to me, being a man is just, you know, standing up for

00:36:52.740 what's right and being a leader. And, and if you have the blessing of having a child, being a great

00:36:57.240 father. Powerful stuff, man. And right in line with what I believe that to be and what I know a

00:37:01.460 lot of the guys do too. So, Hey, I want to let you know, we appreciate you. I appreciate the book.

00:37:05.420 And as, as this comes available and the guys read it, I know they'll appreciate it as well.

00:37:08.560 And all the work that you're, you're doing and the lessons that you've learned the hard way. So I

00:37:12.660 don't have to. Yeah. My pleasure. Thank you. How do we connect with you? If you want to learn more

00:37:17.920 by the book? Yeah. If you just go to ryanblair.com, you could find out all the information there and

00:37:22.020 all my media, social media links and so forth. The book will be available, uh, or, you know,

00:37:27.180 throughout the United States and every bookstore and so forth, October 4th. Uh, but if people want

00:37:31.500 to join me on my, I have a pre-sale offer that will be coming out here very shortly where I actually

00:37:36.140 give back to charity if people, uh, purchase the book, uh, on a pre-sales basis. So if you want to

00:37:41.660 put me to work and see me giving back to charity firsthand, go to ryanblair.com and I hope you join

00:37:46.340 me in the launch of this book. Uh, obviously I give all kinds of money away to charity and all the

00:37:51.260 proceeds from my books as well. So, you know, it's all for a good cause. Right on, man. I'll make sure

00:37:55.980 we, uh, link everything up in the show notes so the guys can take advantage of that, taking your

00:37:59.500 time on the show. Awesome. Thank you very much. And I appreciate talking to all your listeners too.

00:38:03.900 It's awesome. There you have it guys. Mr. Ryan Blair teaching us a little about what it'll take

00:38:09.140 to go from rock bottom to rock star. Make sure you check out the show notes again at order of

00:38:12.920 man.com slash zero seven five for the links, the resources, and a link to the book that we shared

00:38:18.380 during our conversation today. In the meantime, also guys, check out the inaugural order of man

00:38:22.440 uprising, September 15th through the 18th, 2016. It's going to sell out. We're really close. We've

00:38:27.360 got three spots and we are bringing in new instructors, new information each and every day

00:38:31.760 as we wind up to the event. And it's going to be unlike anything you've ever experienced.

00:38:36.840 Go to order of man.com slash uprising for all the details guys. I look forward to talk with you on

00:38:40.980 Friday for Friday field notes, but until then take action and become the man you were meant to be.

00:38:45.340 Thank you for listening to the order of man podcast. You're ready to take charge of your life

00:38:49.940 and be more of the man you were meant to be. We invite you to join the order at order of man.com.

Order of Man - August 23, 2016

OoM 075： From Rock Bottom to Rock Star with Ryan Blair

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