Order of Man - OoM 079： Presence, Claim, and Penetration with Satyen Raja

00:00:00.000 Today we talk about something we have not yet covered on the Order of Man podcast,

00:00:03.620 masculine and feminine energy, and how men can balance the two. 0.99

00:00:07.120 My guest today, Satyan Raja, and I discuss using the understanding of energy to attract a spouse,

00:00:12.800 raise your kids, and live more fully with who you are.

00:00:15.540 We also talk about presence, claim, and penetration,

00:00:18.520 and why every man needs to learn to master these skills.

00:00:22.420 You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest.

00:00:25.280 Embrace your fears and boldly chart your own path.

00:00:27.940 When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time, every time.

00:00:32.660 You are not easily deterred or defeated, rugged, resilient, strong.

00:00:37.720 This is your life. This is who you are.

00:00:40.260 This is who you will become.

00:00:41.920 At the end of the day, and after all is said and done, you can call yourself a man.

00:00:47.560 Men, what's going on today? My name is Ryan Michler, and I am your host and the founder of Order of Man.

00:00:51.580 As always, I'm glad you're here with us again today.

00:00:54.020 This is the show about all things manly.

00:00:56.400 So if you're trying to improve your relationship with your wife or make a career change or even just get a promotion,

00:01:02.120 if you want to connect with your kids, if you're trying to find a new hobby,

00:01:04.840 building a band of brothers, or any of the thousands of other things that I know have been on your mind,

00:01:09.200 we have got you covered.

00:01:10.420 Today, we're going to be taking things a little bit differently than we normally do.

00:01:14.000 We're going to be talking about energy, and specifically, we're talking about today masculine and feminine energy,

00:01:19.320 and why you and me as men have to understand this and how we can use energy to our advantage.

00:01:26.500 But before I get too much into the show and introduce you to my guest,

00:01:29.260 I do want to let you know that we just finished up, guys, our inaugural Order of Man uprising over the weekend.

00:01:34.120 We had 20 guys fly in from all over the country to my hometown in southern Utah to learn some new skills,

00:01:39.760 to gain some incredible resources on their journey to become better men.

00:01:44.920 Now, I'm not going to be sharing too much, so don't worry about our next uprising for a while,

00:01:49.200 but I do want to let you know that we are going to be releasing the dates for our next uprising later this week.

00:01:55.020 This is going to be our spring event, and I promise you, based on the feedback that we got,

00:01:59.280 we are going to be filling up quickly.

00:02:01.320 I've already got a dozen or so messages on Facebook from guys who want to come to the next event,

00:02:06.360 so make sure you stay tuned for that and jump on that quickly.

00:02:08.960 As always, guys, I want you to know that I did put together some show notes for this show.

00:02:12.420 You can find those at orderofman.com slash 079.

00:02:16.240 And second, make sure you join our closed men's Facebook group for a deeper conversation about this show

00:02:20.300 and any other topic that you want to discuss at facebook.com slash groups slash order of man.

00:02:25.740 Now, let me introduce my guest today.

00:02:27.320 His name is Satyan Raja, and he is the founder of the Warrior Sage group of companies Ignite Passion Now,

00:02:32.900 Harmony Integration Academy, the Find Yourself Journey, and the Unforgettable Challenge.

00:02:37.100 Through these companies, Raja and his wife, Suzanne, have traveled the world,

00:02:39.940 helping put a dent in the divorce rate by helping couples reignite their passion,

00:02:43.700 find fulfillment and accomplishment, and improve their mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual well-being.

00:02:48.960 His companies currently have over 10,000 successful grads.

00:02:52.620 And as you'll hear in the interview today, he is on his way to helping thousands more.

00:02:58.160 Satyan, thanks for joining me on the show today.

00:02:59.680 I'm glad you're here, brother.

00:03:00.700 Thank you so much. I appreciate it.

00:03:02.760 Hey, this is going to be a kind of a different topic.

00:03:05.520 I think we're going to delve a lot more into the mindset, the masculine energy, the feminine energy,

00:03:10.040 and that's something that we haven't really addressed on the podcast up to date.

00:03:14.080 So I'm glad that you're on the show, and I'm glad we're going to be able to have the chance to talk about this today.

00:03:18.720 This is really valuable, I've found in my own personal life, Ryan.

00:03:22.320 And these insights I've picked up along the way, I'm happy to share them.

00:03:26.040 And I think all the good brothers out there could get some good bells ringing in their mind

00:03:31.400 when they hear some of the stuff that I've picked up the hard way, you know?

00:03:34.520 Yeah, definitely, definitely.

00:03:35.640 If we can learn from you the things that you've experienced the hard way, that's easier for us.

00:03:39.240 So we appreciate any time we can get any of that, right?

00:03:42.520 You betcha.

00:03:43.400 So tell me a little bit about energy in the first place.

00:03:46.400 I mean, when we talk about masculine energy, feminine energy, what are we talking about?

00:03:49.620 And let's get a little bit more tangible with that so we can have some framework for this conversation today.

00:03:53.980 Yeah, sure.

00:03:54.980 So within all of us, whether we're men, women, regardless of our sexual preference or style,

00:04:01.300 we have masculine energy and feminine energy. 1.00

00:04:04.040 These words have a lot of charge with them.

00:04:06.360 They mean a lot of things to a lot of people.

00:04:08.060 So I'll express what they mean to me, all right, from my context.

00:04:11.460 Yeah, that's great.

00:04:12.520 The masculine energy within us is that energy that's always seeking a deeper breakthrough in life,

00:04:18.160 to break through obstacles, to move beyond restriction, to move beyond limitation.

00:04:23.740 That masculine energy is the energy of direction, the one that can stand up and above a circumstance,

00:04:30.060 look over it with objective vision rather than just emotional craziness, right?

00:04:35.860 Look at it from emotional detachment, if you will.

00:04:39.480 Sure, logic, right?

00:04:40.660 So let's say, should I take road A?

00:04:43.040 Should I take road B?

00:04:44.080 Should I take road C?

00:04:46.120 And that part within us that can step out aside, that's the masculine energy, okay?

00:04:51.900 Hmm, makes sense.

00:04:52.720 Yeah, that's more of logic.

00:04:54.220 And I can even see this in the conversations I have with my wife, just where she tends to

00:04:58.080 be a little bit more emotional.

00:04:59.060 I tend to be a little bit more logical.

00:05:01.380 Exactly.

00:05:01.800 So the masculine within us, its highest virtue, its highest value is the seeking of greater

00:05:08.360 freedom, freedom for yourself, freedom for your family, freedom for your society, freedom

00:05:14.660 for your country.

00:05:15.960 So it's freedom.

00:05:17.360 And ultimately, it's spiritual freedom, the freedom to be untouched, unperturbed by the

00:05:23.260 things that are going on around you to hold that calm, grounded center of being.

00:05:27.780 That's the ultimate expression of the masculine, the empty, free, steady, integral, on mission

00:05:36.360 feeling that we get when we're in the groove, you know?

00:05:40.060 Sure, okay.

00:05:40.900 So that's the masculine.

00:05:42.360 Now, we all have that, whether we're men or women, okay?

00:05:45.040 Now, the feminine side is also something that we all have. 0.77

00:05:49.540 The feminine greatest value within us is the desire for love or connection to be flowing, 0.99

00:05:56.500 to be in a natural receiving and giving space, for love to amplify, to magnify, okay?

00:06:03.360 So the highest feminine value is how can we create more love? 1.00

00:06:09.500 Can you understand me more?

00:06:11.620 I want to be felt.

00:06:12.620 I want to be heard.

00:06:13.480 I want to hear you.

00:06:14.400 I want to find out what's going on in your world.

00:06:16.660 So the values of connection and having love flow is number one for the feminine within 1.00

00:06:22.340 us.

00:06:23.460 Right, okay.

00:06:24.180 So we have the masculine energy of direction and freedom.

00:06:28.060 We have the feminine energy of reception and love, but they're not equal equal.

00:06:35.040 No one, very few people are 50-50.

00:06:37.840 And unfortunately, in today's society, there's a lot of ideas of pigeonholing, stereotyping,

00:06:43.740 or pushing us to be one or the other.

00:06:45.760 And I feel the more we try to push to be any stuck role, either the old role of the 1950s

00:06:52.840 and earlier, or some type of new, interesting role, that's what gets us in trouble.

00:06:58.560 And in my work, my philosophy is instead of trying to become something that we're not,

00:07:04.480 how about discovering what we truly are?

00:07:06.860 Let me give you a personal example, okay?

00:07:08.700 In my own life, I would say I'm more 70% masculine at my core.

00:07:13.280 That means I'm driven by purpose, by goals, by mission, by direction.

00:07:20.380 If I'm at a party, if I'm celebrating, I love that.

00:07:23.080 I enjoy that.

00:07:23.640 But after a while, I'm twiddling my thumbs and I go, okay, when are we going to do something

00:07:26.280 a little bit more meaningful?

00:07:28.640 That's the masculine within me, okay?

00:07:31.340 There's also, you know, I would say about 30% of me is feminine, using this as my example,

00:07:36.840 right?

00:07:37.040 You may be different.

00:07:38.480 Your brother down the road may be 90% masculine, 10% feminine.

00:07:41.780 Your other friend down the street may be, you know, 60% masculine and 40% feminine.

00:07:47.420 There's no wrong or right.

00:07:49.180 There's just a natural resting position.

00:07:51.860 Here's the challenge.

00:07:53.040 If I'm more masculine at my core, like I am, you know, I'll give you an example.

00:07:58.740 So the masculine is direction.

00:08:00.520 My daughter is way more feminine.

00:08:02.220 She's 19 years old.

00:08:03.200 When I, when she was growing up, before I knew about this stuff, I was, I'm, I grow

00:08:08.420 by challenge.

00:08:09.720 The masculine within us grows by loving challenge.

00:08:13.100 The feminine within us grows by loving praise and acknowledgement.

00:08:17.700 But because I'm more geared for the masculine, I would continuously challenge my daughter and

00:08:23.060 my wife.

00:08:24.040 Because.

00:08:24.260 Right.

00:08:24.520 The way you might, a son or something like that.

00:08:26.560 Exactly.

00:08:27.220 Because that's the way I'm programmed, right?

00:08:28.960 That's my hardwiring, but that was backfiring because it may grow their, their masculine

00:08:34.560 side and they may get tougher and stronger and so forth, but I'm crushing their feminine 1.00

00:08:38.560 because I wasn't giving it enough praise, acknowledgement and tenderness and love.

00:08:44.600 So what is the downside of this?

00:08:46.120 I mean, you're, you're talking about trying to fit people into holes where they may not

00:08:50.460 necessarily belong and pigeonhole them into that.

00:08:52.720 What is the downside of that individually and even collectively as a society?

00:08:56.540 Well, you look, I'll give you the other example with my son, right?

00:08:59.880 Who's 17.

00:09:00.840 If I'm all, you know, I challenge him.

00:09:02.980 It's good.

00:09:03.300 But if I over challenge him and I'm only 100% challenged, like full metal jacket, that

00:09:08.400 movie, right?

00:09:09.520 Where it's like constant, you know, challenge up.

00:09:12.060 You can break someone down.

00:09:13.420 You can break yourself.

00:09:15.260 I think what the downside is us as men, we need to find out where our natural resting position

00:09:21.220 is and, and nurture that.

00:09:23.520 So pragmatically, that means seven, 70% of the time I'm on mission, 30% of the time I'm

00:09:30.600 chilling, I'm relaxing.

00:09:31.680 I'm smelling the roses.

00:09:33.400 I'm enjoying my wife or my family time.

00:09:36.300 I'm rejuvenating myself.

00:09:38.120 I'm nurturing my feminine.

00:09:40.420 But if I overly nurture my feminine and only nurture my feminine, I'll end up being a flow 0.98

00:09:45.960 just like a new age flowster going nowhere, having no direction, no goals, um, sort of lost

00:09:52.600 in life.

00:09:53.160 You know what I'm saying?

00:09:54.140 Yeah.

00:09:54.680 So that's the detriment.

00:09:55.920 And the, so if we go to either extreme or we go to the extreme of the other side of

00:10:01.240 masculine, okay, go get it.

00:10:02.500 Balls to the wall, break, you know, break the rules, take, take prisoners, no prisoners, all

00:10:07.060 of that stuff.

00:10:07.600 Right.

00:10:08.420 There's power in that, but there's also a detriment and the detriment is the balancing

00:10:13.200 force somewhere down the road.

00:10:14.680 It's going to hit you burnout, divorce, your kids are going to hate you or whatever, because

00:10:19.960 you were extreme.

00:10:22.140 I feel interesting.

00:10:23.460 I feel the value is, is knowing our true North center and then playing that out to its

00:10:29.760 fullest.

00:10:30.740 How do you determine this for yourself?

00:10:32.640 I mean, is this, is it a series of just understanding yourself, talking with yourself, meditation,

00:10:37.280 or what does this actually look like to determine?

00:10:39.800 You talk about 70 and 30%.

00:10:41.300 What does that look like?

00:10:42.160 Okay.

00:10:42.360 So let me give you some ways that we all can check in with ourselves.

00:10:46.320 Okay.

00:10:47.180 If we're looking at movies throughout a year, okay.

00:10:50.640 You're looking at the, and you were to track the movies you watch throughout the year.

00:10:55.240 I like movies having to do with adventure challenge, you know, one man against an army, there's a

00:11:00.600 mountain.

00:11:01.060 Let's see if we can conquer it.

00:11:02.720 Any movies that have to do with unsurmountable challenges, James Bond movies, things like that.

00:11:08.940 Uh, uh, mission impossible, those type of movies, those type of thrillers, action, and you name

00:11:13.780 it.

00:11:14.560 That's always about breaking through an obstacle, sports movies, sports itself.

00:11:19.340 You know, you've got, let's say football, you've got an opposite side of a team.

00:11:23.200 They're trying to stop you from getting a ball through the other side, right?

00:11:27.220 Right.

00:11:27.500 This is a test.

00:11:28.380 Exactly.

00:11:28.880 Exactly.

00:11:29.320 A test, a challenge.

00:11:31.060 Any movies that are, that are aligned with it.

00:11:33.880 If I'm watching seven out of 10 movies, because you know, that's what happens to me.

00:11:38.360 That's my number.

00:11:39.160 Seven out of 10, you know, I'm watching those type of movies three times out of 10, I'll

00:11:43.660 sit down and I'll watch a romantic movie with my wife. 1.00

00:11:45.900 Cause I like those too.

00:11:47.040 But if I only watch those or I'm watching those 70% of the time, I wouldn't even be sitting

00:11:52.900 there.

00:11:53.220 I'd be like, I'd be bored.

00:11:54.680 You know what I mean?

00:11:55.240 Yeah.

00:11:55.720 Yeah.

00:11:56.460 Now, so we, so that's one way to take a look.

00:11:59.540 If you're watching movies, you know, and 80% of them are love stories.

00:12:03.660 They have to do with connection.

00:12:05.120 They have to do with love.

00:12:07.020 Conquer will, will love win or will love die?

00:12:10.260 You know, does he love me?

00:12:11.240 He loves me not.

00:12:12.580 Those are feminine oriented movies. 1.00

00:12:14.940 And we just have to find our truth.

00:12:17.840 So if the reality is you like 50, 50, then you're right in the middle.

00:12:21.560 That's your real quote.

00:12:22.680 It has nothing to do whether you're straight or homosexual or bisexual.

00:12:26.260 That's a different topic altogether.

00:12:28.020 Okay.

00:12:28.540 Okay.

00:12:28.880 This is simply having to do with the energetic of challenge versus acknowledgement, freedom

00:12:35.120 versus love.

00:12:36.700 So why do we try to manipulate this then?

00:12:38.640 Because I imagine if somebody figures out that maybe they're like you, 70, 30, they, they

00:12:43.560 may have a tendency or desire to say, well, no, I'm 90, 10, or I'm 10, zero.

00:12:49.420 You know what I mean?

00:12:49.900 So why do we manipulate this? 0.97

00:12:51.800 Because society's screwed, man. 0.72

00:12:54.940 Because we've got all these weird imprints, right? 0.90

00:12:58.900 For years, we had the first stage, what I call the masculine first stage imprint, first 0.68

00:13:03.520 level, old school, I'm macho, whatever, you know, I'm a tough guy, right?

00:13:09.500 What I say goes, it's the old school, you know, Archie Bunker type mindset, okay?

00:13:14.760 That attracts the old school feminine style of, I can't do anything without you. 1.00

00:13:22.580 Please stay with me.

00:13:23.400 I'm no one without you, right?

00:13:24.940 That's codependency.

00:13:26.060 So we need to move beyond codependency into the next level, which is independence.

00:13:32.440 And independence is the feeling of, you know what, we're equal, I love you, we love each

00:13:37.080 other, but we don't need each other.

00:13:38.740 But that still has a limit.

00:13:40.500 The next level is what I consider interdependence, where the masculine has, you know, so let

00:13:48.100 me backtrack.

00:13:48.840 The masculine in the first stage is a lot of spine, a lot of gusto, a lot of macho, but

00:13:54.080 very little heart, very little consciousness and love, right?

00:13:58.080 Sure.

00:13:58.360 The second stage masculine's got a lot more heart, more connected, more open, more loving,

00:14:04.520 more flowing, but they've lost their mission, their purpose, their balls and their direction

00:14:08.500 in life. 0.53

00:14:09.100 They have no where, where they're going.

00:14:10.860 They don't know what to do.

00:14:12.380 Challenge would buckle them.

00:14:14.060 This is what I'm proposing is that we cultivate our spine and our heart to become a modern conscious

00:14:20.460 warrior, sage, a man of principle, a man of depth, a man of love, a man of clarity, all

00:14:25.920 of it, you know?

00:14:26.460 So, how do we do that if we have a tendency to be more of the warrior-like versus more

00:14:31.400 of that, that, I don't know the right term, but the feeling or this, this person who may

00:14:35.720 be directionless, like you say, how do you, how do you cultivate that?

00:14:39.400 Well, if you're more in your feminine and a lot of us guys have been beaten down, we

00:14:43.440 haven't had an opportunity to grow our masculine because let's say, for example, when we were

00:14:48.300 young, okay, as an example, um, let's say a youngster and every time we try to make a

00:14:53.520 decision or move towards a direction, our parents always said, don't do that, don't

00:14:57.860 do that, you'll get hurt, don't do that, you'll get hurt.

00:15:00.680 They were trying to overly coddle us or protect us for good reason, right?

00:15:04.500 The feminine wants to see, see us get strong and survive. 1.00

00:15:08.820 Of course.

00:15:09.260 Our intentions are good in that situation, even though the outcome may not be.

00:15:12.780 Exactly.

00:15:13.800 All right.

00:15:14.440 So, but what that does is atrophies our masculine direction.

00:15:19.660 We never got to grow the muscle of choosing our own path, our own way, and come what may

00:15:24.740 the lessons that come along with making our own decisions, right?

00:15:28.020 Some of them are going to be bad and some of them are going to be good.

00:15:30.620 That part in a lot of us men has been atrophied.

00:15:33.640 It hasn't been cultivated.

00:15:35.140 It hasn't been connected to our heart.

00:15:37.200 And therefore, when we try to cultivate our masculine, we tend to go into this extreme

00:15:43.120 macho-ness and lose this inner equilibrium.

00:15:47.160 The wisdom is, is to recognize that the masculine and feminine is within all of us.

00:15:53.420 Both are good.

00:15:55.180 Both are valid.

00:15:56.580 Both are beautiful.

00:15:58.000 And we just have to come to our natural resting place.

00:16:02.140 Look, here's another way to check out where are you more, are you more masculine, more feminine?

00:16:06.540 Okay, at your core or more in the center. 0.98

00:16:10.220 In your sexual fantasies, you got to take a look at, do I enjoy in my sexual fantasies 0.98

00:16:16.380 being the one who is the more claiming, the more dominant, the more, hey, you're mine. 0.99

00:16:21.940 I love you.

00:16:23.000 You know, more of the one who's the devourer, the one who's the Casanova, the one who's

00:16:28.860 the one claiming that experience.

00:16:31.020 Okay.

00:16:31.460 Okay.

00:16:31.900 Right.

00:16:32.240 The feminine side within us is the one that loves to receive, take me, I'm yours, do with 1.00

00:16:38.720 me what you wish.

00:16:39.860 Obviously connected, right?

00:16:41.160 I'm not talking abusive relationships.

00:16:43.080 I'm talking about where there's love and trust and affection and affinity, right?

00:16:47.800 By knowing that these energies are within us, like myself, like I said, I like to be the

00:16:53.320 one who takes, you know, not takes as in ownership, but that feeling of your mind, beloved, you know,

00:16:59.340 pinning up my lover against the wall, my beloved and making out with her or surprising her that

00:17:03.960 way.

00:17:04.760 Now, don't get me wrong.

00:17:06.260 I love when she does the same, but if she did it all the time, it wouldn't be a turn 0.55

00:17:10.480 on.

00:17:11.100 Yeah.

00:17:11.500 It would be turned off for you.

00:17:12.480 I get that.

00:17:12.960 Yeah.

00:17:13.360 I like it once in a while and I like being more of the one doing that and her too.

00:17:17.280 She likes that as well.

00:17:18.840 She likes jumping on me, grabbing me when I come home, but she doesn't like doing it all

00:17:23.160 the time.

00:17:23.620 More so.

00:17:23.980 She likes being the one being taken, being followed, being a cooed and loved on, you 0.94

00:17:29.480 know, you like it 30% of the time, right?

00:17:32.540 Exactly.

00:17:33.260 Now I'm using rough numbers, but I know, I know.

00:17:36.200 So how does this apply then when finding a spouse, finding a partner, finding a mate?

00:17:41.720 Is this, are you naturally going to attract somebody who's opposite of you?

00:17:45.340 What does this look like?

00:17:46.040 Yeah.

00:17:46.260 So you're going to naturally attract someone who's the reciprocal energy.

00:17:51.160 So if I'm 70, 30, 70 masculine, 30 feminine, I'm going to attract a partner who's 70 feminine 0.61

00:17:57.800 and 30 masculine.

00:17:59.240 You always attract your reciprocal in consciousness.

00:18:02.940 And you've got to know that and know that you can't use the same methodology of motivation,

00:18:08.720 the same mindset of motivated motivation to motivate your partner or to support them.

00:18:13.940 You've got to flip into the other side.

00:18:15.940 You got, so for example, I've learned that I need to use far more praise, acknowledgement,

00:18:21.720 tenderness, connection, eye contact, loving touch.

00:18:26.220 Still within my strength of being a man, but offer that as a gift, not as a weakness in

00:18:33.360 me, but offer my strength of tenderness, my strength of connection, my strength of feeling,

00:18:41.120 you know what?

00:18:41.520 I'm here.

00:18:42.100 I'm right by your side.

00:18:43.160 I'm a rock.

00:18:44.100 There's nowhere you need, like, you don't have to worry about anything.

00:18:46.680 That's a gift that we get to give.

00:18:48.360 And when we do that, it evokes in our partner, her dropping into her feminine more.

00:18:54.860 And when she drops into her feminine more, because she feels she can trust your masculine 0.92

00:18:59.160 direction and steadiness of being and presence, man, it opens up her sexual energy. 1.00

00:19:04.840 It opens up her heart.

00:19:06.300 It opens up her desires. 0.68

00:19:07.980 It opens up her devotion and her dedication to you and your mission.

00:19:12.500 Interesting.

00:19:13.300 Yeah, this is actually something we talk a lot about through the work we're doing with

00:19:16.460 Order of Man is that you have to step into that masculine role and you have to be fully

00:19:21.540 yourself in order for you to allow or order in order for somebody else to be fully themselves.

00:19:27.140 So this makes perfect sense.

00:19:28.820 Exactly.

00:19:29.700 Exactly.

00:19:30.560 And then you're more trustable.

00:19:31.900 So that's in relationship.

00:19:33.240 But when you own this masculine side within yourself, listen, the same thing that women 0.84

00:19:38.760 find sexy, which is presence, is the same thing that other men find trustable, which

00:19:46.240 is just steady presence.

00:19:47.840 If you're going to a business meeting, you're going to some type of position where you're

00:19:52.200 in a position of influence, whether you're influencing your kids or influencing someone

00:19:57.520 in your work life or business life.

00:19:59.420 Well, if your eyes are all over the place, if you're jittery, you're shifting around, you

00:20:05.340 can't keep gaze, you don't feel good about yourself and your body and your strength and

00:20:10.520 your integrity.

00:20:11.980 Liberty, it's felt.

00:20:13.640 It may not be consciously picked up right away, but the unconscious mind of the individual

00:20:18.260 will.

00:20:18.960 And you'll get less dollars, less pay, less opportunities.

00:20:22.140 You'll push them away because you're not grounded in your masculine.

00:20:24.980 Men, just a quick break to tell you about our elite mastermind, the Iron Council.

00:20:30.120 We are really starting to take off with the group.

00:20:31.900 In fact, we had eight guys sign up over the last weekend, and these guys are seeing some

00:20:36.320 incredible results in their lives.

00:20:37.780 A few of them have started new businesses.

00:20:39.460 Some of the guys are building the confidence that they've always wanted.

00:20:41.740 They're reconnecting with their wife and kids.

00:20:43.640 They're learning to be better communicators.

00:20:45.320 And of course, so much more.

00:20:46.520 The thing that separates these men, though, from the rest is that they're doers.

00:20:50.320 And as much as I can lay the foundation inside of the Iron Council, each of these guys is

00:20:54.280 putting in the work.

00:20:55.480 You'll be teamed up in a battle team.

00:20:56.680 You'll receive weekly assignments, daily challenges, and up to two virtual calls per week to discuss

00:21:00.980 what it will take for you to be a better man.

00:21:04.100 So head to orderofman.com slash Iron Council right after this podcast to join us.

00:21:08.460 Now, let's get back to my conversation with Sachin.

00:21:12.320 Now, is this something, I'm going to just jump real quick back to the partner conversation.

00:21:16.920 Is this something you even have to consciously think about, or is this going to happen naturally?

00:21:21.420 At first, you've got to think about it like any game.

00:21:24.080 I look at it as a game, okay?

00:21:25.740 I don't look at it as like something to take too seriously.

00:21:29.700 I look at it more as a game.

00:21:31.300 So there's ways of growing our masculine energy.

00:21:34.640 And that masculine energy grows through different ways, through loving challenge.

00:21:38.520 Number one thing, I know you've got this order of man.

00:21:40.960 I really advocate every single man be on it.

00:21:44.840 Anyone who's not on it, get on it.

00:21:46.580 And anyone who's in it, stay in it.

00:21:48.060 Because I found that the number one thing that I can do to keep myself chiseled, to keep

00:21:53.720 my pencil sharp, my sword at its most cleanest and sharp, is by being with other men of character.

00:22:00.660 The other men of character who are all going somewhere with a collective intention, that's

00:22:06.180 the best way to keep our masculine healthy, growing, and of service to our lives, our families,

00:22:12.080 and to society.

00:22:12.920 How do you share this with a spouse?

00:22:16.660 Because I imagine somebody who's listening to this is very focused on self-improvement,

00:22:20.900 being aware, wanting to get better, wanting to be more of a man.

00:22:24.180 That's why they're here.

00:22:25.360 And so they'll take advice and they'll say, I get this.

00:22:27.900 I understand this.

00:22:28.780 I'm willing to work on these things, even though I may not be perfect.

00:22:31.500 But how do I get a spouse on board? 1.00

00:22:33.920 How do I let my wife know what I need out of the relationship? 1.00

00:22:36.940 The old adage is that you've got to always start on yourself.

00:22:41.680 It's very true in this one, right?

00:22:43.860 So can I lay out a dynamic that I feel if I express it to you, all the guys are going

00:22:49.460 to get this even more powerfully and then actually how to utilize this in real life?

00:22:53.380 Oh yeah, of course.

00:22:54.140 That's what we want.

00:22:54.740 Okay, so I have this thing, what I call the PCP muscle, the masculine muscle that is most

00:23:00.220 under flexed.

00:23:01.240 And here's an opportunity to flex it and to strengthen it.

00:23:04.120 It's called the PCP muscle.

00:23:06.660 The first P stands for presence. 0.99

00:23:09.580 Presence is that piece in us.

00:23:11.420 Now your posts, when I'm reading them, there's deep presence when you're in your videos and

00:23:15.960 I've seen you post your videos.

00:23:17.500 You're right there.

00:23:18.460 You're not looking elsewhere.

00:23:19.920 You're full of tension, your heart.

00:23:22.140 You have a message to deliver.

00:23:23.440 You're not distracted.

00:23:25.980 So presence is that feeling of you're right there with your lover.

00:23:29.320 You're right there with your children.

00:23:31.140 You're right there with your work.

00:23:32.860 You're right there with your mission, whatever that is.

00:23:36.140 Even if it's trying to find your mission, you're right there with it.

00:23:38.980 Your eyes are open.

00:23:40.520 You're in deep connection.

00:23:42.160 You're not wavering in any way.

00:23:44.320 You're vulnerable, yet you're grounded in your body.

00:23:47.880 That's presence.

00:23:49.880 Okay.

00:23:50.360 So presence is the undistractable, unperturbable center of being.

00:23:56.540 We need to cultivate our ability to stand with our ladies, with our partners, our families

00:24:01.740 without getting distracted.

00:24:03.600 Even if it's 20 minutes, 30 minutes, full Zen mastery, martial art focus where there's

00:24:10.400 nothing else in the universe except them.

00:24:12.700 That is a huge gift that we can give to our feminine partners and the world at large.

00:24:19.880 Presence.

00:24:20.340 Okay.

00:24:21.280 Before we get to the next one, I want to talk just real briefly on how maybe we can articulate

00:24:26.660 some of that, how we can develop, because you're talking about muscles.

00:24:29.240 So you're talking about growth and how we can do some of that in our own lives.

00:24:32.020 Yes, exactly.

00:24:33.420 So a way you can do this, you said, well, how can I bring this to my partner, right?

00:24:37.660 Go tonight, bring her close to you before you hug and kiss her and say hello, or before

00:24:43.320 you go off to work, as an example, in the morning, take a minute and hold her close to

00:24:47.800 your body, let your arms go around her, and look her deep in the eyes without any words.

00:24:55.540 See the part in her that is already full of love.

00:24:58.820 She may be in a tense mode, she may be moody, she may be in a good mood, but who knows, right?

00:25:05.140 The idea is, it doesn't matter what mood she is.

00:25:08.540 You go in with deep, steady presence, make eye contact, stay there in silence, convey the

00:25:16.060 message that I am here, hook or crook, I love you solidly, I'm going nowhere, I'm here to

00:25:23.240 raise our mission, to take us even higher to life, purpose, God, truth, whatever moves

00:25:28.760 you.

00:25:29.400 You can convey this without words, you can convey it through the steadiness of your gaze,

00:25:35.360 your smile, your connection and how you touch.

00:25:38.660 That's one thing that I advocate with all men is take a moment to do that with your kids,

00:25:43.000 your family, show them who you are by steady, strong, relaxed gaze.

00:25:49.200 Yeah, that makes total sense.

00:25:51.920 And I'm sure, maybe not this exact scenario, because it would be a little awkward, but I'm

00:25:56.540 sure you can use the same concept of presence, whether you're in a sales meeting with a client

00:26:01.540 or even potentially in a confrontation or any situation that you find yourself in.

00:26:06.640 Am I right?

00:26:07.020 Exactly, exactly.

00:26:08.880 Presence means being fully there rather than somewhere else.

00:26:12.880 It's an ancient Zen principle that you got to put 100% into everything you do in every

00:26:17.960 moment.

00:26:18.880 So if you're in vacation mode, do vacation mode.

00:26:23.340 Stop thinking about work.

00:26:24.460 When you come back from work and you're home, cut off all the other work stuff and give your

00:26:30.340 presence to your family, to your health, to your well-being.

00:26:33.760 When you're in work mode, give your presence fully there without distraction.

00:26:38.720 That's what makes us masters.

00:26:40.480 What makes us neurotic and crazy and full of frustration is when we're at work, we're

00:26:45.340 thinking about being with our family.

00:26:47.280 When we're with our family, we're thinking about work that can't shut off.

00:26:50.180 This is when guys get overstressed and overworked and they typically end up in my mind and what

00:26:56.380 I've seen is, and even in my personal life, just exploding and unleashing.

00:26:59.880 And it's usually on the people that we love the most.

00:27:03.100 Well, let's move to the next one then.

00:27:04.180 You talk, so PCP, so we've got presence.

00:27:06.320 Okay, the next one is claim, C-L-A-I-M, claim.

00:27:10.380 Claim is what do you stand for?

00:27:13.680 What do you stand besides?

00:27:15.160 What do you stand behind?

00:27:17.040 Where do you make a stand?

00:27:18.740 And obviously in a love relationship, it's beloved.

00:27:22.560 I love you.

00:27:23.340 You're mine.

00:27:24.060 You're next to me.

00:27:25.180 We are here together.

00:27:27.040 When your feminine partner feels that you have this claim, not ownership, it's the claim 1.00

00:27:33.180 of resoluteness, the claim of sureness, being steady.

00:27:37.560 She's not thinking every week that, oh my God, is he going to be there?

00:27:40.340 Is he not going to be there?

00:27:41.640 Is he faltering?

00:27:42.560 She should feel as well as your children, if you have kids, or your purpose, your mission.

00:27:48.660 Claim is that feeling of, this is here for me.

00:27:51.800 I'm here to claim my life.

00:27:53.660 I'm here to claim my gifts.

00:27:55.160 I'm here to bring my gifts to the world.

00:27:57.140 And I'm not going to make any excuses to anyone.

00:27:59.780 I'm going to fulfill my claim on this planet.

00:28:02.800 That's a bold, it's the type of boldness that's birthed in our humility and in our gifts.

00:28:09.680 How does somebody define what it is they're trying to claim and then articulate that as

00:28:15.640 well in their everyday engagements?

00:28:18.440 One of the things that you can ask yourself is what do I stand for?

00:28:22.340 Who will I live for?

00:28:23.860 Who will I die for?

00:28:25.120 Another way to look at claim is asking yourself the simple question, what must I do today to

00:28:32.380 love, to live, and to die completely without regret, without regret?

00:28:39.040 What must I do today to love fully, to live fully, to die completely without regret?

00:28:47.400 That, if you really ask that question with humbleness, with openness, and you really do what comes

00:28:53.100 up from inside of you, like actually live from that place, your claim will be so strong that

00:28:58.640 people are going to start respecting you to a whole other level, and opportunities aren't

00:29:02.880 going to come to a whole other level, because you're emanating, you're radiating this transmission

00:29:07.780 of someone who's in their body, they're not in their head, they're not daydreamers,

00:29:12.120 it's someone I could trust.

00:29:13.720 So claim is someone who's willing to go out and get what is rightfully theirs, and to earn

00:29:19.300 it, and not to beg for it, or hope for it, but to earn it through their actions, through

00:29:24.020 their steps, through their conviction in life.

00:29:27.500 This almost sounds like, to me, and we haven't gotten to the last component of this, but based

00:29:32.300 on what you're talking about up to this point, it sounds a lot like somebody who might have

00:29:38.320 quote-unquote the X factor, or the thing you just can't put your finger on, is that accurate,

00:29:43.580 or is that wrong?

00:29:44.400 The X factors, all three of these combined, when you've got the PCP muscle firing full

00:29:50.400 on, all fibers, man, it's like you become unstoppable, but not in a crazy way, you become

00:29:57.740 unstoppable by taking less steps.

00:30:01.160 You become like Archimedes, where with a lever, you can move the earth.

00:30:07.400 And it almost seems like this can't be fabricated, this can't be faked.

00:30:12.220 And I imagine, and just thinking about this in my own life, is I can see when men are

00:30:17.580 trying to fabricate or fake this PCP muscle that you're talking about.

00:30:22.680 Well, look, you know, I do martial arts, so learning anything at the beginning, there's

00:30:27.500 also always going to be a bit of exaggeration time at the beginning, or where you're going

00:30:32.320 to be a little stiff with a new learning, or practicing something, and you're not going

00:30:35.840 to be, you know, fluid in depth with it.

00:30:38.120 Give yourself that space to just take this in and to grow.

00:30:41.420 You don't have to be perfect.

00:30:42.640 This is a journey.

00:30:43.980 It's the cultivation.

00:30:45.940 It's not a destination.

00:30:47.460 It's not an arrival, okay?

00:30:49.200 Good.

00:30:49.500 And then what do you got for the last one?

00:30:51.080 So PCP, the last one stands for penetration.

00:30:54.760 Obviously, there's the sexual connotation there.

00:30:57.300 Of course, of course.

00:30:58.280 And penetration is also another way of saying execution.

00:31:02.400 You just can't have presence, and you can't just say, okay, I'm here.

00:31:06.200 You can't just claim, hey, I'm going to do this.

00:31:10.220 Penetration, execution is doing it. 0.99

00:31:13.500 Getting off your ass and activating, actualizing whatever goals, intentions, actions that need 0.99

00:31:20.340 to be done on a daily basis to attain your biggest goals. 1.00

00:31:24.680 So penetration is your willingness to take your gift and actually apply it and make it

00:31:30.560 happen in the world.

00:31:31.400 Now, in terms of partnership and relationship, penetration is that feeling that I'm already

00:31:40.480 inside my lover, my beloved.

00:31:43.760 Rather than trying to get into her pants or get inside of her, it's that feeling that,

00:31:49.380 you know, a lot of women, feminine people, they can't stand the feeling of this slimy, 1.00

00:31:56.760 always trying to get into their pants energy.

00:32:00.000 But if you already feel like you are already inside of her, your eyes, your soul, your body, 0.98

00:32:06.800 your cock, your being, truly already making love with her, already merged with her. 0.97

00:32:13.280 This is the spiritual dimension of connection. 1.00

00:32:16.220 This is where this goes into the subtle dimension where you've got to feel like you're breathing

00:32:22.200 her.

00:32:22.800 You are your lover's lungs.

00:32:24.740 So every time you're breathing in, you're filling up your lover's lungs, her belly, 0.98

00:32:30.280 you're being the resuscitation, you're becoming sensitive and aware and totally tuned in to

00:32:37.280 her psyche, her emotions, her feelings.

00:32:40.360 What's it feel like to be inside of her heart?

00:32:43.740 What's it feel like to be inside of her body?

00:32:46.620 Having that willingness to penetrate with your subtle awareness, your perception,

00:32:52.820 your intuition, your intuition, this is profound.

00:32:58.240 And it turns the feminine on like crazy to feel like you are already in them psychologically, 1.00

00:33:05.640 spiritually with love from the heart.

00:33:08.460 So does this have connotations though, outside of sexual connotations or even romantic

00:33:13.660 relationships as well?

00:33:15.240 Exactly.

00:33:16.380 So sexual and romantic penetration is that feeling of being dialed in to what someone's heart is

00:33:25.540 feeling.

00:33:26.540 Many times in life, it's hard to feel what other people are feeling.

00:33:31.060 So the practice of penetration is softening the front surface of your body.

00:33:36.420 If you can imagine the top athletes, let's say like a Michael Jordan or some athlete, okay?

00:33:43.260 When they're on a field, they're not myopic.

00:33:45.920 They're not looking at one person at a time.

00:33:48.000 They expand their peripheral vision, right?

00:33:50.440 And they can see many things going on with their subtle awareness.

00:33:54.860 This is what you got to turn on.

00:33:56.320 You got to expand your peripheral vision.

00:33:58.360 You got to soften the front surface of your body, especially around your jaws, your throat,

00:34:04.820 your chest, your belly, and then allow that place to be soft.

00:34:10.160 And like a Tai Chi master is really feeling into the space or a fisherman is feeling the 0.79

00:34:17.320 air and the scent of the air and the water and the wind and the flows, you're tuning into

00:34:23.460 a higher level of awareness of that things around you.

00:34:26.940 So penetration in terms of purpose and life value is the willingness to act in spite of

00:34:36.160 fear and to move forward in life and to take the actions that are going to bring back results,

00:34:42.940 not just the daydreaming.

00:34:45.180 How do you reconcile the process of penetration like you're talking about, softening in the

00:34:51.380 jaw and those types of things?

00:34:52.260 How do you reconcile that with the idea of presence and wanting to be maybe even just

00:34:57.720 physically present in a situation?

00:35:00.380 In martial arts, you know, we have this idea of yin and yang.

00:35:05.800 And when we bring both together, the masculine, the feminine.

00:35:08.900 So in presence, you're right there.

00:35:11.400 Presence says, beloved, I'm here.

00:35:14.680 Claim says, beloved, I'm right next to you, with you.

00:35:18.360 And we're going in that direction together for our better good.

00:35:22.900 And penetration is, honey, you got nothing to worry about.

00:35:26.680 I'm already in you.

00:35:27.740 We're already so close together.

00:35:29.940 We've become one.

00:35:31.340 You've got nothing to worry about.

00:35:33.120 That's the demeanor.

00:35:34.560 It's a demeanor, a type of mindset you're going in into everything that you do.

00:35:40.860 Interesting.

00:35:41.700 And so how do you continue to cultivate this muscle?

00:35:44.040 I mean, because somebody is going to listen to this and they're going to say, hey, this

00:35:46.400 is great that I really get what Satyaan is saying and I'm trying to practice this and

00:35:52.440 I'm going to do it tomorrow and I'm going to do it the next day and then I'm going to

00:35:55.120 forget and then it's not, it's going to become a distant memory.

00:35:58.320 Are there any tactical type strategies, I guess you'd say, for lack of a better term,

00:36:02.120 that we can implement on a daily basis to make sure that we're continuing to cultivate

00:36:05.160 this muscle?

00:36:06.340 Exactly.

00:36:07.180 Well, we've simplified it, first of all, by calling it the PCP muscle, the presence,

00:36:12.260 claim, penetration muscle.

00:36:13.760 So you only got three things to worry about, right?

00:36:15.860 Three things to juggle.

00:36:17.740 And what I like to do every single morning, afternoon and evening, is I like to do a three

00:36:23.600 minute meditation.

00:36:25.420 So in the first minute, I just stand.

00:36:28.120 I don't do this sitting.

00:36:29.100 I do this standing or walking.

00:36:31.220 I get active, okay?

00:36:33.120 And I just enter the, let's say, before I meet my wife, okay?

00:36:37.600 Let's say I brush my teeth and blah, blah, blah, I get ready and whatever and I'm about

00:36:41.320 to go to work.

00:36:42.720 I'll take one minute to get totally present.

00:36:45.120 I shut the rest of the world off and I say, I am here, world.

00:36:50.440 I am here.

00:36:51.820 I'm here.

00:36:52.940 And it's like that sense of you're not elsewhere.

00:36:55.440 You're not yesterday.

00:36:56.500 You're not two weeks ago in your mind.

00:36:58.440 You're not two months from now.

00:37:00.240 What will happen about some other topic in your life that's going on that you're worried

00:37:03.880 about?

00:37:04.500 I'm here now.

00:37:05.720 So that's my first one minute of meditation, okay?

00:37:09.240 It's the I am here meditation.

00:37:11.120 I just say that.

00:37:11.920 I'm present.

00:37:12.420 Number two, with claim, I go, what I claim today is.

00:37:18.840 For me today, what I claim today is my wisdom.

00:37:23.740 Choose one thing you're going to claim today and claim it.

00:37:27.960 I claim today my wife.

00:37:29.320 I claim today my sovereignty.

00:37:34.640 I claim today my autonomy.

00:37:37.640 I claim today my self-worth.

00:37:40.120 You've got to say what you claim.

00:37:42.160 And then the last piece is penetration.

00:37:45.300 You've got to find out where's one area that you've been holding back.

00:37:48.740 Pensive, a little nervous.

00:37:51.000 You haven't entered in fully.

00:37:52.620 It could be a conversation that you need to have.

00:37:54.600 It could be a job that you need to make new rules around.

00:37:57.780 It could be having a sit down and chat with your son about something that, you know, that

00:38:02.600 needs to be handled in the house and find out where you are holding back a little in

00:38:09.480 life and then say, okay, I'm going to penetrate this area.

00:38:12.600 I'm going to move forward in it.

00:38:13.800 I'm going to execute.

00:38:15.200 So the first minute is number one, I'm here.

00:38:20.420 Presence.

00:38:21.420 Number two, this is what I claim.

00:38:24.700 And number three, what I move forward in today is.

00:38:28.980 I do that at least twice a day, morning, and then sometimes I'll do it in the afternoon.

00:38:34.100 But I do it definitely in the morning and in the evening.

00:38:36.680 And it builds, Ryan.

00:38:38.820 It gets stronger.

00:38:40.020 It gets stronger.

00:38:40.800 And that PCP muscle, you know, you may not realize it, but you do this every day, this

00:38:46.500 presence, claim penetration exercise, reminder to yourself.

00:38:50.500 Galvanize.

00:38:51.040 It's considered a mental, emotional workout for three minutes.

00:38:54.240 Obviously, you can go longer.

00:38:55.600 But you will have such a far greater vibe.

00:39:01.060 You'll be like emanating this true man, this true warrior, this true wisdom, person of wisdom,

00:39:08.960 this iron energy that you speak about, right?

00:39:12.840 You'll be emanating it.

00:39:13.980 It's going to get stronger every week. 0.99

00:39:15.460 And what's paradoxical about this, after a while, you won't give a shit about it. 0.98

00:39:19.760 You'll just do it naturally. 0.98

00:39:21.100 And you won't do it to get attention.

00:39:23.280 You won't do it to get further on life.

00:39:24.940 You'll do it because you just do it because it feels good.

00:39:28.180 Yeah.

00:39:28.560 Yeah.

00:39:28.800 It makes sense.

00:39:29.720 Well, Satya, and I know we're just scratching the surface on what we can talk about.

00:39:34.120 And this has actually been a very fascinating discussion.

00:39:36.300 Again, something that we haven't talked a whole lot about, but we are winding down on time.

00:39:39.560 I want to ask you a couple additional questions as we do.

00:39:42.440 And the first one, and I think we've talked a lot about this at this point already, but

00:39:46.080 maybe to just to put a cap on it, is what does it mean to be a man?

00:39:49.920 I'm going to come back to that original question I said.

00:39:54.080 To me, what it means to be a man is asking oneself the question, what must I do today to love fully?

00:40:02.020 Who must I love?

00:40:03.800 You know, myself, my wife, my children, where would my country?

00:40:07.060 Who knows?

00:40:07.480 Who, you know, what must, who must I love?

00:40:11.140 What must I do today to love, to live, and to die fully and completely without regret?

00:40:18.180 To me, asking that question and living the answer that comes up from within your soul,

00:40:23.760 that's what it means to be a man.

00:40:25.900 Powerful stuff.

00:40:26.900 So if somebody's listening to this, they want to connect with you.

00:40:29.220 They want to know more about the work that you're doing and dive a little bit deeper into

00:40:32.160 this stuff.

00:40:32.640 How do we connect with you?

00:40:33.860 You can go to my website.

00:40:35.040 It's warriorsage.com, W-A-R-R-I-O-R-S-A-G-E, warriorsage.com.

00:40:41.760 I've got a really kick-ass community of people who are leaders and trainers and helpers, people

00:40:46.340 in the helping world, and folks who just want to grow physically, mentally, emotionally,

00:40:50.680 and spiritually.

00:40:51.300 So just sign up there.

00:40:52.560 You'll be invited to our private community, and I'll find out all the workings that I have

00:40:56.560 got going on, right?

00:40:58.240 Awesome.

00:40:58.700 Perfect.

00:40:59.040 We'll make sure we link that up in the show notes so all the guys can check that out.

00:41:01.780 Satya, I appreciate you.

00:41:03.000 I appreciate the work that you're doing and the conversation that you had with us today.

00:41:06.240 I know this is going to help, again, a lot of guys with some of this stuff, understanding

00:41:09.820 their masculine and their feminine energy.

00:41:11.340 So again, I appreciate you coming on the show today.

00:41:13.420 Thanks, Ryan.

00:41:13.980 And thanks, guys, for listening.

00:41:15.320 And you may want to listen to this again and take some notes, some pointers, and then

00:41:20.040 live it.

00:41:20.820 When you live this PCP muscle, just even one day, it's going to catch on fire for you, okay?

00:41:27.820 There you have it, man, Satya and Raja, teaching us the power of both the masculine and the

00:41:32.700 feminine energy. 1.00

00:41:33.440 I really encourage you to connect with him, drop him a line on Twitter, and make sure

00:41:37.100 to tag at Order of Man, and we'll be able to connect with you there.

00:41:40.060 In the meantime, make sure you go learn about our elite mastermind, The Iron Council.

00:41:44.100 It is comprised of over 125 men, all working to be the very best versions of themselves,

00:41:50.860 and they're committed to helping each other succeed.

00:41:53.200 This month, we're reading The Obstacle is the Way by Ryan Holiday, and we're focused on

00:41:56.780 the topic of being a man of value.

00:42:00.280 So you can check out the details for that at orderofman.com slash ironcouncil.

00:42:03.580 Guys, I look forward to talking to you on Friday, but until then, take action and become

00:42:07.340 the man you were meant to be.

00:42:09.360 Thank you for listening to The Order of Man podcast.

00:42:12.320 If you're ready to take charge of your life and be more of the man you were meant to be,

00:42:16.360 we invite you to join the order at orderofman.com.

Order of Man - September 20, 2016

OoM 079： Presence, Claim, and Penetration with Satyen Raja

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