Order of Man - Optimize Your Day, Develop Discipline, and Overcome Resistance ｜ ASK ME ANYTHING

00:00:00.000 You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest. Embrace your fears and boldly chart your own path.

00:00:06.020 When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time. Every time.

00:00:10.440 You are not easily deterred or defeated. Rugged. Resilient. Strong.

00:00:15.520 This is your life. This is who you are. This is who you will become.

00:00:19.760 At the end of the day, and after all is said and done, you can call yourself a man.

00:00:25.740 Kip, what's up, man? Glad to have you back for AMA.

00:00:29.040 One zero. Double digits.

00:00:31.000 One zero.

00:00:31.980 Killing it, man.

00:00:33.280 I know. We're on a roll.

00:00:34.660 Yeah. What are you thinking about it so far? You like it?

00:00:37.260 You know, I enjoy it. In fact, I often forget that we're actually being recorded and people are going to listen to what we have to say.

00:00:45.020 And I just feel like we're having a good conversation about good questions and legit topics.

00:00:50.540 So I just enjoy having the conversation.

00:00:52.820 In fact, if AMAs don't work out, I think we should still have weekly calls and you and I can just talk.

00:00:57.700 Just shoot the breeze, huh?

00:01:01.180 You know, these will work out, man.

00:01:02.620 I'm telling you, like the number of downloads we get on these podcasts relative to my interviews and the Friday field notes.

00:01:08.900 I mean, it's right there.

00:01:10.040 We get just about the same number of downloads.

00:01:12.720 And the numbers are steadily increasing.

00:01:17.580 I think last month we had a roughly 20% increase in download numbers over the previous month.

00:01:25.960 That's big, man.

00:01:27.380 That's awesome.

00:01:27.720 For the numbers that we're doing, that's a big, that's a huge leap.

00:01:30.720 And it's a testament to you, Kip.

00:01:34.340 It's all you.

00:01:35.140 It's just what you bring to the equation with the podcast.

00:01:38.760 It's the new dynamic.

00:01:39.820 And I've noticed that more and more people are asking you questions.

00:01:42.720 You laughed.

00:01:43.880 You laughed when I said that.

00:01:45.900 But it's happening.

00:01:47.500 It's happening.

00:01:48.360 The takeover has begun.

00:01:50.380 Well, and I think guys are getting the idea that, hey, I have legit questions.

00:01:55.800 I want to bring them up and let's have a discussion around them, right?

00:01:59.680 And it's just so powerful because that's what this podcast is about.

00:02:03.640 That's what the Iron Council is about.

00:02:04.880 That's what the Order of Man Facebook group is about, is about men standing shoulder to shoulder and pushing forward, right?

00:02:11.600 And moving down the path and becoming better men.

00:02:13.860 And this conversation, I think, just promotes that even more.

00:02:17.400 Well, the other thing I think a lot of guys resonate is the realness of it as well.

00:02:21.160 A couple of weeks ago, you and I had talked about some issues, some personal issues each of us were dealing with.

00:02:26.280 We're not beating around the bush on these topics and these questions.

00:02:29.980 So it's real.

00:02:30.900 It's unscripted.

00:02:32.400 In fact, I don't even know what questions are here.

00:02:35.840 And we're just speaking from the heart, I guess you'd say.

00:02:39.880 So I think people appreciate that.

00:02:41.580 And it's not all edited and cleaned up and marketed and whatnot.

00:02:44.660 Yeah, for sure.

00:02:45.700 Well, should we jump right into it?

00:02:46.800 Guys, so for those of you who don't know, because obviously there's not a lot of new people listening.

00:02:51.440 This is me and Kip's Ask Me Anything.

00:02:53.960 So we get these questions from our Patreon account, which is orderofman.com.

00:02:59.440 Excuse me.

00:02:59.940 I keep saying that backwards.

00:03:00.900 It's patreon.com slash orderofman.

00:03:03.960 What else?

00:03:04.620 What else?

00:03:04.920 What else?

00:03:05.220 The Facebook group.

00:03:06.380 Iron Council.

00:03:08.020 Which is our exclusive brotherhood, right?

00:03:10.000 Yep.

00:03:10.160 And then the Facebook group is facebook.com forward slash groups forward slash orderofman.

00:03:15.080 Dude, you keep throwing me off with those forward slashes.

00:03:18.020 I'm a techie.

00:03:19.080 I'm a nerd.

00:03:19.700 I'm using the forward slash.

00:03:21.420 You can be technical about it.

00:03:22.120 The rest of the world just knows them as slashes.

00:03:23.920 Slash.

00:03:24.320 Slash.

00:03:24.760 Just because we're lazy.

00:03:26.280 Okay.

00:03:26.760 I'll just say slash.

00:03:27.740 No, I don't want you to be lazy.

00:03:28.880 I'm just saying I'm lazy.

00:03:30.200 So you keep doing your thing, man.

00:03:32.520 I'm just saying for all you tech guys listening, if you want to access something via a UNC path,

00:03:38.380 you use a backslash.

00:03:39.920 I don't even know what you're saying by UNC.

00:03:42.780 So is geek acceptable or is it nerd or like what is acceptable?

00:03:49.400 Geek is cool.

00:03:50.760 Nerd is not.

00:03:51.760 No, you can't be a nerd, but a geek is all right.

00:03:53.940 A geek, yeah.

00:03:54.500 I thought it was the other way around.

00:03:55.780 So that's good to know because I was going to offend somebody.

00:03:58.680 All right, you geeks.

00:03:59.780 Now you know.

00:04:00.280 UNC codes or whatever.

00:04:02.020 Use a backslash.

00:04:02.940 All right, let's do this.

00:04:04.240 All right.

00:04:04.600 First question.

00:04:05.520 Chandler Hag. 0.90

00:04:07.420 Advice on getting ready to have your first child.

00:04:09.960 What should finances look like as well as how to keep up with going to the gym and juggling

00:04:14.640 being a new dad?

00:04:15.820 These are always interesting questions because quite honestly, Chandler and anybody who is

00:04:20.920 going to be having a baby in the near future can attest.

00:04:24.640 Well, those who've already had a child can attest to the fact that there's nothing that

00:04:28.260 you can do to be completely ready, right?

00:04:30.200 Like it is a wrench in the entire system, but it's a positive wrench in that it helps

00:04:38.180 you grow and expand and your capacity for love and maturity just increases exponentially

00:04:46.380 when you have a child.

00:04:47.280 It's an amazing thing, but you can't ever be completely ready.

00:04:49.880 Now, what should your finances look like?

00:04:51.300 Well, I, me personally, I would be working to pay off debt as quickly as I possibly can

00:04:56.580 get out from underneath that debt because it will enslave you.

00:05:00.920 And when I was first starting to have children, we had a lot of debt.

00:05:04.780 And I remember there was days where I would literally pace around in the backyard because

00:05:10.360 I was worried about how I was going to make the mortgage payment.

00:05:12.440 That's not something you want to be worrying about when you're trying to bring a new baby

00:05:18.000 into the world because there's enough stress as it is.

00:05:20.840 So get out from underneath your debt as quickly as possible.

00:05:24.320 In addition to that, you need to have an emergency fund saved up because kids cost a lot of money.

00:05:28.940 You know, our, uh, our first was born, uh, four weeks early.

00:05:32.860 So he was premature and fortunately was pretty healthy.

00:05:35.860 One of his lungs hadn't fully, I don't even know the term inflated or what.

00:05:39.680 I don't even know the term, but one of his lungs wasn't fully functioning when he was

00:05:43.620 first born.

00:05:44.140 They fixed that within 30 minutes of him being born.

00:05:46.600 Uh, he had jaundice a little bit.

00:05:48.420 And so we had to take home this, what can only be described as a briefcase tanning bed.

00:05:55.100 And he had to basically live in that thing for 24 hours.

00:05:59.180 And my wife and I would take turns. 0.84

00:06:01.120 I would sleep and she would be out in the living room with this briefcase tanning bed that he 0.89

00:06:04.460 was in.

00:06:05.120 And then we would do that for a couple hours and then switch, couple hours, switch, couple

00:06:08.400 hours, switch, couple hours, switch.

00:06:10.220 Uh, but there was a cost associated with that, that we weren't expecting.

00:06:13.280 And we weren't in the position financially to handle that.

00:06:15.620 So it was a real challenge.

00:06:16.880 So number one, get your debt paid off.

00:06:18.460 Number two, start building up the emergency fund, having some adequate savings set aside

00:06:24.160 first 500, then a thousand, then 2000, then 5,000, then 50,000.

00:06:29.000 Just keep working your way up.

00:06:30.700 Uh, as far as going to the gym and juggling, being a new dad, communicate with your wife,

00:06:35.560 just communicate with her, let her know, uh, figure out a way that's going to work where

00:06:40.940 you can keep going to the gym, set those expectations, set those boundaries.

00:06:45.480 I would say, and I don't necessarily mean this term in a, but in a way almost enforced

00:06:51.440 that she does it as well, because she's going to be less likely to do it because she's got

00:06:55.180 this new child and mothers by default are a lot more nurturing and empathetic and want

00:06:59.460 to be, I think a little bit more involved with the kids generally than fathers do initially.

00:07:03.880 That was my experience.

00:07:04.960 Anyways, it was like, all this, all this little guy does is poop, eat and cry.

00:07:10.200 I can't even throw a baseball with this kid yet.

00:07:12.940 So it's like, he is not fun.

00:07:16.300 What am I supposed to do with this thing?

00:07:17.700 You know what?

00:07:18.160 Like, let's be real as a father.

00:07:20.060 That's what it is.

00:07:20.820 It's like, there's no connection.

00:07:21.920 That little baby.

00:07:23.480 There's not that there's no connection, but there's less of a connection.

00:07:26.120 That little baby didn't spend nine months in your belly.

00:07:29.400 Yeah.

00:07:29.900 And, and so it's harder to connect, but I'm, I'm digressing here.

00:07:33.440 The point is that set the expectations, set the standard, communicate with your wife, and

00:07:37.860 then ensure that she's doing the things for her as well, even though she'll be less likely

00:07:41.060 or have less of a desire to do those than probably you will.

00:07:45.920 You know, I think there's a good testament to what you're saying, Ryan, about having your

00:07:49.860 finances in order and whatnot.

00:07:51.220 If I, if I look at my past, when I first had my two kids, my first two boys, I was working

00:07:58.780 full time.

00:07:59.480 I was going to school full time.

00:08:01.400 I mean, no joke.

00:08:02.400 I'd wake up at roughly about five, four 35 AM.

00:08:05.460 I'd go to work until about 2 PM.

00:08:07.760 Then I'd go to school until about 10 PM.

00:08:10.000 I'd come home.

00:08:10.660 I'd sleep.

00:08:11.120 Yeah.

00:08:12.140 Now, do you think I took advantage and enjoyed my children?

00:08:17.420 No way, man.

00:08:18.440 I was so stressed.

00:08:19.820 Yeah, like it was, it was a really tough time in my life and it's, and it's so much

00:08:24.240 different now with our little girls, Asian eyes, little girls, they're little and I'm 0.99

00:08:29.580 enjoying them so much.

00:08:31.040 And I think the biggest differences is I was stressed out, right?

00:08:34.800 I was stressed out about finances.

00:08:36.300 I was stressed out about school, providing for a new family and, and I didn't have my stuff

00:08:41.360 together.

00:08:41.780 And because of that, I, I, I just wasn't in the right state of mind to really just take

00:08:46.800 advantage of the wonderful time it is when they're little and I can now do that now.

00:08:51.940 So that finance and that stuff's important, but it's also important to clear your mind,

00:08:56.820 right?

00:08:57.140 That stuff, you know, so then that way you can focus on just really enjoying your kids

00:09:01.120 when they're little.

00:09:02.260 Yeah.

00:09:02.620 I mean, and you know, the other thing you got to consider too, is, is their seasons,

00:09:06.440 right?

00:09:06.660 I mean, most people, when they're having kids, they're young, they're, they're not in the

00:09:10.120 best position financially.

00:09:11.420 And you're going to look back on those times.

00:09:13.220 And I, and my wife and I do actually fondly, you know, it's like, man, remember we were

00:09:17.040 living off top ramen and we couldn't make ends meet and we were worried about the mortgage

00:09:19.980 payment.

00:09:20.480 Those aren't things that we're worried about right now, which is a huge blessing.

00:09:24.700 Uh, just try to understand that it's going to take some time and you're going to get

00:09:29.660 through it.

00:09:30.180 It's going to be hard, but don't let it consume you to the point where it becomes a negative

00:09:35.060 experience.

00:09:36.320 Yeah.

00:09:36.920 Copy Chandler and congratulations, man.

00:09:39.300 Yeah.

00:09:39.520 Kids.

00:09:40.000 Absolutely.

00:09:40.280 Super awesome times.

00:09:41.420 Yeah.

00:09:42.120 For the first time in your life, assuming it's your first child, first time in your

00:09:45.740 life, you'll understand unconditional love.

00:09:48.100 You'll go, Oh, I understand that now.

00:09:50.580 Yeah.

00:09:50.900 Yeah.

00:09:51.360 A hundred percent.

00:09:52.480 All right.

00:09:52.860 Corey Britton's question for someone with no hand to hand combat, uh, experience or,

00:09:57.640 well, through boxing or whatever, where's a good place to start?

00:10:01.160 I'm 41 physically active.

00:10:02.980 I ride my bike.

00:10:03.980 I do CrossFit, but I've never engaged in any contact sports, even with the four years within

00:10:09.560 the air force in six years.

00:10:10.940 And G they don't train for that.

00:10:13.000 I like to get into self-defense or boxing just to learn.

00:10:15.800 Is there any one that is better than another for, uh, for a no nothing beginner?

00:10:22.200 I I'll let you answer this, but, but before, before that, let me just say really quickly

00:10:26.580 from my perspective, I would encourage you to get into Brazilian jujitsu.

00:10:30.560 And the reason I say that is because there's no striking involved.

00:10:34.620 If you've never been in a combat sport, you've never been punched in the face.

00:10:38.840 You've never been kicked and struck at, uh, I would say that jujitsu will give you a good

00:10:43.660 introduction into violence and physicality with another human being who wants to hurt

00:10:49.120 you, uh, without the potential injury or risk that comes with striking sports.

00:10:54.400 Now I'm not saying you shouldn't do those things, but I think Brazilian jujitsu is the

00:10:58.600 introductory that's my experience anyways.

00:11:01.000 What would you have to say about that Kip? 0.94

00:11:02.400 I totally agree.

00:11:03.680 I mean, one of the benefits that we have in jujitsu over other martial arts is we can

00:11:07.500 practice a hundred percent, right?

00:11:10.140 We can do that.

00:11:10.760 We can go a hundred percent roll insanely hard and choke as hard as we can and yank on each

00:11:17.660 other's arms as hard as we can.

00:11:19.000 Cause we have this nice little rule of a double tap, right?

00:11:21.360 That we'll let go.

00:11:22.720 Um, other combat sports.

00:11:24.020 You can't like, I was just talking to the guy yesterday about Krav Maga.

00:11:27.320 Oh man, I love Krav Maga and I do too.

00:11:29.820 I think Krav Maga is super, super cool.

00:11:32.040 However, it's super hard to practice.

00:11:34.320 Why?

00:11:35.120 Because there's only so many times that you can fish hook someone's mouth, punch them

00:11:39.340 in the groin and I gouge them, right?

00:11:41.500 Like you can't do that all the time.

00:11:43.200 So it's, it's super hard to fully practice.

00:11:46.300 Um, but jujitsu, you can fully engage.

00:11:48.240 Now with that said, uh, you know, hand to hand combat, dude, I'm a huge, I love Muay Thai.

00:11:55.000 So if I were in the space of wanting to get some kicks and punches in, uh, train Muay Thai

00:12:00.320 any day.

00:12:01.120 And I think boxing, wrestling, jujitsu, those are kind of my top four, but Muay Thai is super

00:12:07.140 fun.

00:12:07.460 If you want to get into some striking and from a self-defense perspective, and some guys will

00:12:12.220 argue with this because some people will argue, well, jujitsu is not superior for a group attack.

00:12:17.960 If you have five guys attacking you and you're on your back, other guys can kick you in the

00:12:21.540 head.

00:12:21.760 Well, you know, guess what?

00:12:23.060 Boxing is really hard too, with five guys around you all punching.

00:12:25.600 Anything is you're taking on five dudes who want to hurt you.

00:12:28.960 So something is better than nothing.

00:12:30.980 Yeah, exactly.

00:12:31.940 Exactly.

00:12:32.540 But jujitsu does a really great job from a self-defense perspective.

00:12:37.020 And, uh, to be frank, man, I've seen it used all the time in, in real world experiences.

00:12:42.580 And it's, there's something beautiful to have a conflict and have some guy just get choked

00:12:47.620 out and be able to walk away and you didn't even have to punch him.

00:12:50.320 It's kind of nice.

00:12:51.900 I remember, I remember that's like, that is the quote of the century right there.

00:12:59.140 I remember when we were at, uh, origin and I was so pissed at you, not like at you directly,

00:13:06.740 but just you happen to be my opponent who is showing me all my inadequacies at the moment.

00:13:12.320 And like, I'm like, I just want to put my forearm through Kip's throat and you try and

00:13:18.480 I tried and it didn't, I mean, maybe it hurt or whatever, but you're like, so, and you got

00:13:24.560 up and everything was fine and you tap me out, you know, still, but, uh, yeah, I mean,

00:13:29.020 that's the thing is like, you recognize violence and you recognize when somebody's trying to

00:13:33.520 hurt you and you deal with it and it's good.

00:13:35.900 I think it's a good thing for men, especially.

00:13:38.440 Yeah.

00:13:38.860 Get after it, Corey.

00:13:39.920 And dude, let us know what you decide.

00:13:41.700 I'd love to hear what you decide to do and what your experience is like.

00:13:45.240 So share that in the Facebook group.

00:13:46.680 But I did hurt you a little, right, Kip?

00:13:48.500 It was uncomfortable.

00:13:49.740 In fact, I started getting a little, I was even a little angry.

00:13:52.540 I was like, are you shoving your elbow in my face?

00:13:55.420 I'm going to arm bar you now. 0.99

00:13:58.640 Oh, that's funny.

00:13:59.820 Well, you worked me over anyways.

00:14:01.700 It's on the subject of martial arts.

00:14:03.620 Bubba Downs from the Iron Council has the following.

00:14:06.200 And he says, I start BJJ tomorrow morning, which probably was a week or two ago.

00:14:11.140 Yeah.

00:14:11.380 So hopefully that's going well, Bubba.

00:14:13.200 Any tips for a bearded brother to keep from losing my wits?

00:14:17.780 And losing by losing his wits.

00:14:19.440 I think he means losing his beard.

00:14:22.000 Totally.

00:14:22.680 I think so.

00:14:23.840 And he does have some advice for you guys, but we'll let Ryan answer the question first.

00:14:27.700 And then we'll, we'll give Bubba's advice for the rest of you.

00:14:30.160 I don't have any tips.

00:14:31.160 I, I, every time I go to the gym, I lose 10% of my beard hairs.

00:14:37.440 Uh, somebody did say that it was actually a good thing because those were the weak hairs

00:14:42.200 that were just eliminating themselves.

00:14:46.540 Uh, you know what?

00:14:48.640 I don't, I, I don't know.

00:14:50.100 Just understand that it's going to get yanked on and then make a decision.

00:14:52.980 Is it worth it?

00:14:53.700 For me, it is like, I'm keeping my beard for now.

00:14:55.960 I, I, will that change down the road?

00:14:57.940 Maybe, but for now I can deal with it.

00:15:00.260 That's fine.

00:15:00.880 You just deal with it.

00:15:01.780 Tough, it's up your beard.

00:15:03.080 That's what it is, man.

00:15:03.920 Only the strong survive.

00:15:05.780 So here's Bubba's advice to the rest.

00:15:07.760 I was going to, hold on.

00:15:08.420 I was going to say something else.

00:15:09.480 Somebody else made a suggestion.

00:15:11.100 I think it was Matthew Arrington.

00:15:12.460 Somebody made a suggestion and said that all the beard hairs that fall out, I should set

00:15:16.940 them aside and laminate them for bookmarks.

00:15:21.200 Sell them on the, uh, order of man store coming soon.

00:15:24.300 Ryan Mickler beard hairs for bookmarks.

00:15:26.500 Pay attention guys.

00:15:27.520 Those will be coming out here soon.

00:15:28.840 All right.

00:15:29.080 What else is, or, or for the baron guys that can't grow a beard, you can sell those to them

00:15:33.920 and they can do implants with them or something.

00:15:35.440 Well, somebody else said that I should do locks of love with my beard.

00:15:39.120 And I'm like, I can't imagine somebody being so desperate for hair that they would wear

00:15:44.220 this ugly mange as their headpiece.

00:15:47.220 Like, I just, I can't imagine that.

00:15:49.640 It's an honor.

00:15:50.140 That would be disgusting. 0.57

00:15:51.320 So Bubba's, Bubba's suggestion or recommendation to you guys is he says, men, if you haven't

00:16:00.020 checked out the Patreon for order of man at patreon.com forward slash order of man, if

00:16:05.900 you dig what they're doing, donate, there's even some cool stuff to be gained or don't

00:16:11.600 because if the only sentimental patron, my odds are better for the cool shit.

00:16:16.000 So the Sentinel, I better say that the Sentinel patron, yeah, that's, um, that's, I think

00:16:21.880 that $20 membership and it's him.

00:16:23.800 And I think there's one other member and there's swag and things like that, that we give away

00:16:27.880 as well.

00:16:28.240 So he likes his odds.

00:16:30.080 Yeah.

00:16:30.540 Bubba's getting all kinds of order man stuff.

00:16:32.440 And you guys are letting this happen by not signing up.

00:16:34.980 So get in there and steal some of the stuff from Bubba.

00:16:37.800 That's a good strategy.

00:16:38.700 Actually, you pay 20 bucks a month, which is what he's doing.

00:16:41.060 And then if he's the only one there, then he gets something every month that's valued

00:16:44.740 at $20 or more.

00:16:46.440 He's coming out on top.

00:16:47.680 I gotta be careful.

00:16:48.160 I gotta, I gotta keep my eye on him, man.

00:16:50.280 Yeah.

00:16:50.600 Well, and now I understand why Bubba's constantly doing Facebook posts about how Patreon sucks

00:16:55.220 and no one should ever sign up for it.

00:16:58.740 That's funny.

00:16:59.380 All right.

00:16:59.620 What else we got?

00:17:00.340 Corey again, it looks like.

00:17:01.760 Yeah.

00:17:02.100 Bubba's working the system.

00:17:03.200 Corey, you get two questions in here.

00:17:04.640 What's going on, man?

00:17:05.340 That's good.

00:17:05.760 All right.

00:17:06.500 Corey Britton, something else I'd like to hear perspective on.

00:17:10.060 With Christmas fast approaching Santa Claus, I'm a huge, I'm huge on telling the truth

00:17:14.780 and I want my kids to always tell the truth.

00:17:16.760 However, the magic of Santa Claus brings a special magic to Christmas.

00:17:20.820 So I'm torn.

00:17:22.260 My kids believe and I, and I let them, but I also feel a little wrong about propagating

00:17:28.680 a lie.

00:17:29.340 Your guys' thoughts.

00:17:30.600 I don't, I don't look at that as, as lying.

00:17:32.860 I know some people do and they're thinking, oh, I can't lie about anything.

00:17:35.860 And if you lie here, what else are you lying about?

00:17:38.000 Honestly, for me, it, to Corey's point, it's the spirit of Christmas.

00:17:42.820 It's the mentality behind it.

00:17:44.640 It's the charity.

00:17:45.480 It's the giving.

00:17:46.200 It's the love.

00:17:47.040 It's, it's just teaching the right things about Santa Claus, which is not, hey, give

00:17:51.960 all your presents.

00:17:52.620 And maybe you teach about more along the lines of, of St. Nicholas, right?

00:17:57.380 And you tell those stories because that's not a lie.

00:17:59.980 And you talk about the importance of charity and giving and, and, and, and helping your

00:18:05.940 community and helping those less fortunate than you, which is the spirit of St. Nicholas,

00:18:10.480 but then also the spirit of Christ Christmas, right?

00:18:13.820 And talking about how wonderful of a blessing that was for all of humanity and talking about,

00:18:18.800 uh, the, the, the gifts that the wise men brought and, and the story of Christ, the birth

00:18:25.260 of Christ, uh, I think when we focus more on that, Santa Claus becomes less of an issue,

00:18:29.700 but I'm not too concerned that my kids believe in Santa Claus.

00:18:32.600 And I, I don't personally feel like I'm lying.

00:18:34.920 Yeah.

00:18:35.560 Well, and, and how did you, how did you feel growing up?

00:18:38.520 Right.

00:18:38.780 Did you feel jaded that the whole magic of Santa Claus, you know what I mean?

00:18:42.560 As you got older, where you're like, oh, I wish my parents didn't do that.

00:18:45.300 I'm like, I don't, I liked it.

00:18:47.480 I loved it.

00:18:48.060 Yeah.

00:18:48.720 I don't, I don't, I don't think it's a big deal, but I can certainly understand where

00:18:52.120 guys are coming from, but that's, that's on you to teach the rest of the meaning behind

00:18:55.620 it.

00:18:57.240 Cool.

00:18:57.880 All right.

00:18:58.260 Next question, Nick Matori, how does Ryan organize his day?

00:19:04.620 I start organizing, excuse me, organizing my day the night before.

00:19:09.380 So when I cap off my day, I look at what I accomplished.

00:19:13.420 I look at what I didn't accomplish, uh, where I did well, what I didn't do so well.

00:19:17.640 And most importantly, how am I going to prioritize, prioritize, uh, for the next day?

00:19:22.280 So that's the first thing I do.

00:19:23.380 And I use our battle planner, which is in our store store.orderofman.com.

00:19:28.760 And I use that.

00:19:30.280 So I go through, I list everything that needs to be done, including my objectives for the

00:19:33.700 day and the tasks and any notes that I have.

00:19:36.080 And then I also have one key objective, uh, for each of the four quadrants.

00:19:40.820 We can talk about that maybe another time.

00:19:42.840 Um, I'll give you a small example.

00:19:44.280 One of my quadrants for taking care of myself, my objective for this quarter is to learn

00:19:50.040 to play the guitar.

00:19:51.060 So I bought a guitar, uh, middle of last week or so, and I've been playing every single

00:19:56.040 day.

00:19:56.680 So I jot that down into my battle plan.

00:19:59.000 Okay.

00:19:59.200 What time am I going to do this?

00:20:00.540 Where is it going to fit in?

00:20:01.400 Where is it going to squeeze in?

00:20:02.320 And I get that done.

00:20:03.440 So that's, that's what I do the night before.

00:20:05.060 Then when I wake up in the morning, I do my morning routine and yada, yada, yada.

00:20:08.180 I get into my office, which happens to be downstairs.

00:20:10.740 I review my battle plan from the night before, uh, make any adjustments based on emails or

00:20:16.660 anything else that may have come up in the last 12 to 14 hours and reprioritize and execute

00:20:24.420 from that battle plan and start it back all over that evening.

00:20:27.520 Pretty simple.

00:20:28.620 What are you, are you using a calendar as part of that process?

00:20:31.800 Like, uh, on your phone or computer as well, or yeah, yeah.

00:20:35.640 I use Google calendars.

00:20:37.060 Um, so that syncs to my phone and my computer and all that.

00:20:40.520 So that's, that's what I use.

00:20:42.100 Uh, what else do I do?

00:20:43.140 Oh, the other thing that I do is this has actually been really helpful for me.

00:20:46.180 And I learned this, this tactic a long time ago is in my battle plan, which is actually

00:20:51.500 pretty cool.

00:20:51.980 If you guys haven't seen that it's, it's a custom made order of man battle plan.

00:20:56.120 There's, there are 52 segments in there.

00:20:59.080 So one for each week of the year, and then it's bound in this really nice, uh, leather

00:21:04.580 bound cover that is awesome.

00:21:07.800 It's made by Rustico, a little partner of ours on those things.

00:21:11.500 Um, where was I going on that?

00:21:14.420 Oh, so the way that I, the way that I organize the tasks, right?

00:21:17.800 Cause we all have tasks.

00:21:18.740 We might have five, we might have 10, we might have 30.

00:21:20.940 So I list all those things out and a lot of people ask like, well, how do I prioritize

00:21:25.580 this for me?

00:21:26.340 I just look at the list and say, okay, what do I need to get done right now that will

00:21:29.640 yield the biggest result?

00:21:30.840 And Gary Keller talks about this a little bit in his book, the one thing.

00:21:34.920 And he says, what's not a little bit, a lot, that's the whole premise of the book.

00:21:37.940 What is one thing that you could do right now that you could do today that if you didn't

00:21:43.040 get anything else done, the day would still be a victory.

00:21:46.580 So you pick that one thing and you do that one thing.

00:21:49.760 And then when that's done, then you move on.

00:21:51.200 Okay.

00:21:51.300 What's the next one thing?

00:21:53.040 Get that done.

00:21:53.580 What's the next one thing.

00:21:54.720 So that's how I organize my day.

00:21:56.140 Now there's certain things where I can, I can start for example, but I can't necessarily

00:22:01.120 finish.

00:22:01.600 Maybe I have to make a phone call or collaborate with you or whatever it may be.

00:22:05.640 And so I make the phone call and I simply, when I make the call, I just put a, uh, uh,

00:22:11.020 like a backslash over that right in front of it.

00:22:14.160 So I just do one little slash Mark because I started it, but it hasn't been completed.

00:22:19.620 Then when it's completed, let's say I had to leave you a message to talk with you about

00:22:23.780 the podcast.

00:22:25.100 Then when you call me back and we have that conversation, then, and only then do I put,

00:22:29.120 make that slash into an X.

00:22:30.600 And so I know the things that are X'd out or done.

00:22:32.440 If it has a slash, I've started it.

00:22:34.200 If it has nothing, I haven't even started it.

00:22:37.080 I like that.

00:22:38.100 And that's really similar to Andy's like powerless, right?

00:22:41.260 Andy Brazil is powerless.

00:22:42.320 Kind of a little bit.

00:22:43.300 Yeah.

00:22:43.580 Kind of the same concept.

00:22:44.500 I think anybody who achieves at a high level.

00:22:46.800 And I like to place myself into that category.

00:22:48.760 I think, you know, like 70 to 80% of the time that would define me, um, is you have a system

00:22:55.180 and you work the system and you don't deviate from the system.

00:22:57.640 And, and also the system is not complex.

00:22:59.940 See, I think a lot of people think that it has to be complex.

00:23:03.200 Oh, if it's not complex, it doesn't really mean I'm doing it as efficiently as possible.

00:23:06.300 No, I don't think so.

00:23:07.480 I think the more simplified that it can be, the less complex it is, the more effective

00:23:13.440 it's probably going to be.

00:23:14.860 And the more, um, sustainable it will be over time as well.

00:23:19.220 Cool.

00:23:20.100 And I'm not sure if you guys caught that or not, but Ryan is practicing the guitar.

00:23:25.220 So maybe, uh, maybe the dance is on its way.

00:23:28.440 That's right, man.

00:23:29.240 Just stay tuned.

00:23:30.220 Just stay tuned.

00:23:31.700 Cry me a river.

00:23:34.480 I'm sure we can get some better songs than that.

00:23:38.120 Mike Morris, his question.

00:23:39.900 How does one develop discipline?

00:23:41.860 I've heard many times that motivation is fickle and that discipline is more important.

00:23:46.180 The advice is often just do it, but doing it gets pushed off.

00:23:50.900 If you don't have the motivation or the discipline, these questions are really tough.

00:23:55.120 For me, because I've never had a motivation problem.

00:23:57.920 Never.

00:23:58.580 Like if people say, how do you stay motivated?

00:24:00.540 I'm like, what do you mean?

00:24:02.100 Well, like, how do you stay excited to do things that are exciting to you?

00:24:04.760 And you don't have to worry about motivation.

00:24:06.440 Now, granted, there's things that we all have to do that we're not excited about, right?

00:24:10.800 Whether it's paperwork or editing a podcast or whatever, whatever that looks like for you.

00:24:15.760 But I do it because it's means to an end and it just has to be done.

00:24:19.600 So I personally have never had an issue with getting things done or being motivated about it.

00:24:23.920 Uh, as far as developing discipline, the reason that people say, just do it is because you do just do it.

00:24:30.540 You, you just, you decide every day.

00:24:33.900 You have about a million decisions that you can make.

00:24:37.520 And the decision is, do I do what I already committed to doing?

00:24:41.020 Or do I do something else?

00:24:42.660 It's very simple.

00:24:44.060 It's a decision.

00:24:44.940 And if you do something else, you decided to do something else.

00:24:47.640 That wasn't the default, you decided to do that other thing.

00:24:53.220 So make new decisions.

00:24:55.140 Now, that being said, there's some systems and processes that you can put in place that will help you be more disciplined.

00:25:01.620 So for example, and this is one I think a lot of people use, the discipline to get out of the bed, out of bed when, when the alarm goes off.

00:25:08.100 If you hit, if you hit snooze every time and you stay in bed all the time, well, what can you do in order to avoid doing that?

00:25:15.340 I would say, number one, plan your day the night before so that you, when you wake up, you know exactly what you're going to be doing.

00:25:22.020 Because if you don't know what you're going to do or don't have any plan, it's like, oh, I can sleep in.

00:25:25.420 I don't really need to do anything.

00:25:26.700 Not, no big deal.

00:25:27.600 But if you have a plan and you know what you're trying to accomplish, then I think it's easier to get out of bed.

00:25:33.680 The other thing is eliminate any barriers, again, with regards to getting out of bed, eliminate any barriers that could potentially keep you in bed.

00:25:41.340 So for me, I know when I very first started working out after being a decade on the couch, essentially, the barrier was like, I'd wake up.

00:25:48.580 I'm like, I don't really know what I'm going to do.

00:25:50.260 And I got to get changed and I got to find my shoes and find the shirt I'm going to wear and put like my towel in there and have a pre-workout.

00:25:58.560 Get all that shit ready the night before so that when you wake up, it's like my shoes are there, my shirt's there, my underwear, my hat, my whatever, whatever it is that you need.

00:26:06.400 It's all laid out.

00:26:07.120 It's ready to go.

00:26:07.960 You got your playlist ready.

00:26:08.900 You got your ear pods.

00:26:10.440 Like all of it's just right there.

00:26:12.440 The other thing that could potentially keep you from getting out of bed is you just hitting the little button on your phone.

00:26:18.040 Well, move your phone.

00:26:20.260 Then you can't hit the button.

00:26:21.460 So move your phone across the room or move it downstairs or whatever, whatever's going to work for you.

00:26:26.540 And that way you actually have to get up and do the thing.

00:26:29.100 So, yes, you do just do it, but you've got to put systems in place that eliminate barriers and obstacles from maintaining the level of discipline that you have a desire to maintain.

00:26:40.040 Or you can skip all that hard work, Mike, and just get Jocko's discipline.

00:26:46.820 And you drink discipline and you just become disciplined by default.

00:26:51.140 It's just that easy.

00:26:52.720 Simple.

00:26:53.500 So easy.

00:26:54.300 And if you're going to do that, go to originmain.com and use the code ORDER at checkout for 10% discount on discipline.

00:27:01.200 Look at us.

00:27:03.000 We're good, man.

00:27:03.600 We worked that right in.

00:27:05.120 You like that, Mike?

00:27:06.460 Yeah.

00:27:08.080 Actually, you know, it's really great if you don't mind me sharing an example of this.

00:27:11.460 So, um, as you guys probably know, um, I, you know, my son's been struggling, making good decisions of late and it's, it's centered around discipline.

00:27:22.700 And, and we had this conversation the other day about, okay, wait a second.

00:27:26.740 So we expect him to be disciplined and choose the right decision, right?

00:27:32.060 When he's with his buddies and someone suggests doing something stupid, but yet he's unable to wake up by himself or we all, we expect him to,

00:27:41.460 to watch his sisters and be a good babysitter, but, but he can't make his bed in the morning.

00:27:47.500 Right.

00:27:48.180 Right.

00:27:48.660 Like, and so I think if I had to summarize that as an example, I think the way that he gets disciplined, obviously, and we now have some systems in place, right?

00:27:57.840 As we're focusing on, on adjusting his and pivoting his parents, right?

00:28:02.380 Is go for the quick wins.

00:28:04.740 Right.

00:28:05.160 And so that's my focus with Kyave is, okay, we need to build up discipline.

00:28:08.980 So how are we going to do that?

00:28:10.460 We're going to make our bed before we go to school.

00:28:12.340 We're going to wake up every day at 6 AM.

00:28:14.320 We're going to say prayers, kneeling before we leave the door.

00:28:17.780 Right.

00:28:18.160 We were, we're creating small wins, right.

00:28:21.220 To create some momentum and some opportunity for him to learn discipline.

00:28:26.900 So, and I think there's lots of ways, Mike, that you can do that.

00:28:30.160 There's tactics around, uh, avoiding making the bad decisions.

00:28:33.740 And then there's also areas that we, you can just learn discipline easily.

00:28:36.700 Uh, you know, one of the things that, um, uh, I was actually, uh, from a religious perspective, I was reading about one of the values of fasting.

00:28:45.860 Um, and, and in scripture, it mentions that one of the values of fasting is that it helps avoid temptation.

00:28:52.740 Well, why do you think that does, right?

00:28:55.360 You're developing the, the skill to be avoid those temptations.

00:28:59.480 Absolutely.

00:28:59.840 Yeah.

00:29:00.080 Your body's saying eat and you're going, no, right.

00:29:02.500 And if you can do that for a 24 hour period, what's the, what's the chances of you then not being able to, you know, making other positive decisions that your body wants to naturally do on its own.

00:29:11.520 So I, I think there's some, there's something to be said for this small, the small wins.

00:29:16.060 Yeah.

00:29:16.640 A hundred percent, man.

00:29:17.840 Hardly agree.

00:29:19.420 This is funny.

00:29:20.380 Chris Dalton.

00:29:21.300 Funny story.

00:29:22.100 He says, I was at the gym tonight on the bench.

00:29:24.920 And the next, the next song was the dance.

00:29:28.040 I burst out laughing and nearly dropped the weights on myself.

00:29:31.740 You should sing it this week on the AMA.

00:29:34.140 Well, you heard it already.

00:29:35.580 I don't need to sing it, but man, don't kill yourself.

00:29:37.620 And the other thing, why are you listening to the dance at the gym?

00:29:41.540 I was thinking the same thing.

00:29:43.000 I'm like, that is not a motivated song.

00:29:44.980 You need different music, my man.

00:29:46.640 And, and maybe you don't have a choice or whatever, but gosh, I would consider finding a different gym.

00:29:51.080 If that's the kind of music they're playing it, uh, during gym time.

00:29:54.920 Maybe he was, uh, doing yoga.

00:29:57.040 Maybe Chris, we love you, brother.

00:29:59.200 We're just giving you a hard time, but seriously, don't listen to the dance while you're working out.

00:30:03.280 Get a little bit of Justin Timberlake.

00:30:05.700 That will get you going.

00:30:07.180 Okay.

00:30:07.980 Sounds good.

00:30:08.900 By the way, I saw an incredible movie last week called star is born chick flick.

00:30:17.040 Dude.

00:30:17.920 Yes.

00:30:18.980 I, my wife took me and she's like, let's go do this.

00:30:21.480 And I, and I said, that's fine.

00:30:22.380 You know, I just, I just want to go out, you know?

00:30:23.800 And I was saying, well, I was like, predator is out.

00:30:26.760 You want to go watch predator instead?

00:30:28.080 She's like, no, no, I want to see this.

00:30:29.140 I'm like, okay.

00:30:30.180 So we went to it.

00:30:31.500 It is a damn good movie.

00:30:33.660 It's, it's a Bradley Cooper and lady Gaga of all people.

00:30:39.740 And Holy crap, dude, it is good.

00:30:42.420 It is a good, good movie.

00:30:45.120 Have you, you haven't, you haven't seen it yet?

00:30:46.600 I, I haven't, but I would almost guarantee that, uh, you know, I might get a little bit

00:30:51.860 of action if I went to that movie.

00:30:53.720 Well, and it's not a bad movie, so it's not a bad way to secure some action.

00:30:57.480 Yeah.

00:30:58.080 Yeah.

00:30:59.420 Two birds, one stone.

00:31:01.680 Absolutely.

00:31:02.340 Check it out.

00:31:03.060 Is that movie sponsoring the podcast?

00:31:05.760 No, it's just a good movie.

00:31:08.180 I'm just joking.

00:31:09.000 It's just a good movie.

00:31:09.940 And apparently that's the fourth version of it.

00:31:12.840 Really?

00:31:13.360 Yeah.

00:31:13.540 What's the name of the movie again?

00:31:14.600 A Star is Born.

00:31:15.940 A Star is Born.

00:31:16.820 The other one was with, uh, uh, I might butcher it.

00:31:19.880 I think it's Chris Christopherson and, uh, is it Barbara Streisand or I think maybe, but

00:31:26.120 Is it based upon a book or, uh, an actual like artist?

00:31:29.940 No, I don't think, I think it's fictional, but it's like I said, four versions.

00:31:33.700 I mean, yeah, it, it was just a good movie.

00:31:37.300 Really good movie.

00:31:38.720 Gonna have to check it out.

00:31:39.760 Check it out.

00:31:41.040 All right.

00:31:41.680 Robert Miller, could you talk about some recommendations for literature or essential readings to develop

00:31:47.920 oneself as a man? 0.67

00:31:49.320 I really liked the marriage Friday filled notes you did recently getting married next

00:31:53.180 year.

00:31:53.440 And I think it is a great advice to get started out to get started outright.

00:31:57.960 Good.

00:31:58.140 I'm glad you liked the advice as far as literature for developing oneself as a man.

00:32:02.220 Sovereignty, the battle for the hearts and minds of men.

00:32:05.520 That's it.

00:32:06.760 I'm just kidding.

00:32:07.380 I wish that was the only book you needed to read and everything would be fine.

00:32:11.380 It's a good start and it happens to be my book.

00:32:13.940 So yes, I'm a little biased.

00:32:15.800 Here's what I would do.

00:32:16.780 Uh, who was that?

00:32:17.540 Chris?

00:32:18.140 No, Robert.

00:32:18.920 Robert Miller.

00:32:19.620 Here's what I would do, Robert.

00:32:20.720 Go to order of man.com in the top, right.

00:32:23.420 There's a little search magnifying glass.

00:32:25.320 Click on that and then type in books.

00:32:28.300 And two articles will come up on top.

00:32:30.100 The first one is five books.

00:32:31.920 Every man should read in 2018.

00:32:34.140 And the next one is 10 books.

00:32:36.640 Every man should read.

00:32:37.840 And I will say this, the five books.

00:32:39.860 Every man should read in 2018.

00:32:41.200 Let me just tell you here real quick.

00:32:42.740 You can go check this out anyway, so you can get links to them and stuff.

00:32:45.180 But number one is as a man thinketh by James Allen.

00:32:48.080 One of my very favorite books, uh, the power of positive thinking and how powerful your

00:32:52.680 mind is.

00:32:53.160 The other, the next one is iron John by Robert Bly.

00:32:56.160 The next one is Mansfield's book of manly men.

00:32:59.500 Now I will say that one has a not religious, but Christian undertone, but whether you're

00:33:04.480 a Christian or not, there's a ton of value to be taken away from that. 0.99

00:33:07.240 And I've done two interviews with Steven Mansfield and he's come out to one of our, uh, our meetups

00:33:11.180 as well.

00:33:12.180 Uh, one book, this one is, I'm telling you it's life changing is a book called wild at

00:33:18.800 heart by John Eldridge who have also done a podcast with.

00:33:22.100 And then the fifth one is the one I just mentioned earlier.

00:33:24.420 Sovereignty mind, the battle for the hearts of my mind.

00:33:26.160 Uh, I would add one other book into there, which is Marcus Aurelius's meditations.

00:33:31.940 I think if you're going to start, that's a pretty good start.

00:33:34.800 And of course there's an infinite number of books from there.

00:33:37.520 Dude.

00:33:38.040 And then Robert, then Julian is on the iron council and we just go through books.

00:33:41.480 Like there's no tomorrow.

00:33:42.680 It's true.

00:33:43.120 And this month we are reading the dichotomy of leadership.

00:33:45.800 In fact, in fact, I don't know if you know this Kip, but Dave Burke, who is a podcast

00:33:51.160 guest and lead instructor with echelon front.

00:33:53.900 Uh, he is an amazing, amazing individual.

00:33:56.200 You met him out there at, uh, at the, uh, the origin, uh, camp.

00:34:00.940 And he is a fighter pilot.

00:34:02.900 He flew the F 16, I believe F 18, F 22, F 35.

00:34:07.340 And top gun instructor.

00:34:08.480 Top gun instructor.

00:34:09.640 Then gave up his wings essentially to go fight on the ground in Ramadi with, uh, with support

00:34:15.200 and coordination with task unit bruiser.

00:34:16.620 Uh, anyways, the reason I bring that up is he is going to be joining us on a special call

00:34:22.080 the end of this month, uh, inside of the iron council.

00:34:26.380 So you guys will probably want to check that out as well.

00:34:29.180 Super cool.

00:34:30.340 Super cool.

00:34:31.140 Yep.

00:34:31.440 Should be good.

00:34:32.520 All right.

00:34:33.140 Damon Matthews, is there a difference between putting positive and negative limitations on

00:34:39.060 yourself?

00:34:41.260 Yeah.

00:34:42.080 One is constructive and the other is destructive.

00:34:44.380 I mean, positive limitations are, Hey, don't go jump off of that bridge without a parachute

00:34:51.780 or a plan that that's going to serve you well that you don't do that.

00:34:58.020 So yes, you are limiting yourself.

00:35:00.460 That's a good thing.

00:35:01.780 And I, you know, it's interesting.

00:35:03.260 And this kind of ties in line with the discipline equals freedom concept and mentality.

00:35:07.420 If you think about rules and codes of conduct and guidelines, even if you look at it from a 0.90

00:35:14.280 religious standpoint, the 10 commandments, and you look at it from a military standpoint and all

00:35:19.180 the, the, the code of conducts and standard operating procedures by which military members

00:35:23.200 act, uh, it's, it's, it's by its very nature, limiting by its very nature.

00:35:30.340 It is designed to limit you.

00:35:32.980 And so some people think, well, I'm not going to live that way.

00:35:35.440 I'm, I'm free.

00:35:36.380 I can do whatever I want.

00:35:37.560 Yeah, you can, but that doesn't free you from the consequences of those choices that

00:35:41.960 you make.

00:35:42.600 So positive limitations, like a code of conduct, which I talked about a week, week and a half

00:35:47.700 ago on the Friday field notes is a set of self-imposed limitations that keep you on the

00:35:55.460 straight and narrow that keep you on the path that you've chosen to walk.

00:35:58.780 So you should have those things.

00:36:00.500 Like if you don't have a set of parameters in which you operate, that's, that's pretty

00:36:04.720 sad to me.

00:36:05.760 Now, negative limitations are something that maybe somebody else is opposed upon you or

00:36:10.880 it limits your growth and progress and productivity.

00:36:13.940 And certainly you want to avoid those things, but there's a lot of positive limitations that

00:36:17.160 we impose upon ourselves.

00:36:18.260 Like I, I get out of bed early.

00:36:21.500 I don't eat junk food.

00:36:23.220 I, whatever.

00:36:25.020 I mean, you guys all can come up with things, but those are limitations that you've imposed

00:36:28.420 that actually serve you well.

00:36:29.600 So yeah, you should have positive limitations as well.

00:36:33.200 Good question, Damon.

00:36:34.780 Yeah, that's an interesting question.

00:36:37.180 Cause at first I was like, I don't understand what that looks like from a practical perspective,

00:36:42.020 but what we're really talking about is, is you choosing to be disciplined in a certain

00:36:47.160 area and in maybe negative limitations are things that are kind of forced upon you.

00:36:51.220 Is that correct?

00:36:53.140 Well, it could be, but not even that necessarily, because I think about my kids, for example,

00:36:57.980 I impose limitations like bedtime, for example, and, and maybe they look at those, those negative

00:37:04.120 limitations, but in the grand scheme of things, they're not, they're actually positive.

00:37:07.200 So it's not that they're being imposed upon you.

00:37:09.080 It's what result are they producing, whether they're imposed upon you or whether they're

00:37:12.880 self-imposed.

00:37:13.560 It's more about the result that it's producing rather than where the authority is coming

00:37:18.840 from.

00:37:19.600 I see.

00:37:19.900 So negative limitations could be you choosing not to do something because you're embarrassed

00:37:24.040 or the fear of failure.

00:37:26.320 You know what I mean?

00:37:26.740 Something that doesn't have a positive outcome.

00:37:28.960 Or your parents told you you were a piece of shit and you can't do it.

00:37:32.040 And so you start to believe that.

00:37:34.320 And now you take their limitations and you impose them and you adopt them.

00:37:39.120 You make them your limitations.

00:37:40.900 Yeah.

00:37:41.500 Okay.

00:37:42.040 Yeah.

00:37:42.660 Got it.

00:37:44.040 All right.

00:37:44.420 Adam C.

00:37:45.040 Trout.

00:37:46.920 Morbid.

00:37:47.520 I know.

00:37:47.940 But what is the business continuity plan for the order of man should Ryan die unexpectedly?

00:37:54.700 This guy trying to knock me off or what?

00:37:57.200 I don't know.

00:37:58.360 It is kind of more.

00:37:59.560 It is.

00:38:00.400 It's a good question though.

00:38:01.520 I mean, this is something that we had to do in the financial planning business.

00:38:04.900 In fact, it was regulation.

00:38:05.860 It was regulated through the Securities and Exchange Commission that we had to have a

00:38:11.200 business continuity plan because we're dealing with people's money.

00:38:16.780 Now, I don't have to have one here.

00:38:18.460 And frankly, I don't as of right now, but I've got plans and things in place to make sure

00:38:23.040 that I do.

00:38:24.040 This is a relatively new business.

00:38:25.480 You got to think too.

00:38:26.200 I mean, we've been going for three and a half years and really only about two and a half

00:38:31.020 years of it being a full-time business of mine.

00:38:35.280 And I can't believe the rate at which it's grown and expanded.

00:38:39.580 So it's certainly something that's on my radar.

00:38:41.640 Although we don't have any solid plans in place as of right now.

00:38:45.300 I think if you died unexpectedly, we'd all of a sudden see the order of guys podcast and

00:38:52.200 the order of brothers podcast.

00:38:56.180 Look, you know what?

00:38:56.920 I mean, let's be truthful here.

00:38:59.440 If I didn't do this, and I know this is going to sound arrogant, but please guys, bear with

00:39:03.700 me on this because it's going to illustrate a point.

00:39:05.380 If I didn't do this, I think everything that we've built would just fall apart.

00:39:10.720 I really do.

00:39:12.440 And I know there's guys with initiative.

00:39:14.500 I know there's guys who believe in what we're doing, who are just raving fans of what it is

00:39:20.880 we're doing, but there's a huge initiative problem in society today.

00:39:27.240 And what I see is I see that there's so many guys out there that recognize problems, right?

00:39:32.860 We see the problems in ourselves.

00:39:34.320 We see the problems in our communities and our families and in the country.

00:39:37.240 And we have ideas for products and services we can bring to market.

00:39:41.540 And then we stop.

00:39:43.680 We stop.

00:39:44.440 It's an initiative problem.

00:39:45.460 It's not an identification problem.

00:39:48.560 That's what we do.

00:39:49.400 We're problem solving machines.

00:39:50.560 We walk around and we're like, what's wrong with this?

00:39:52.040 What's wrong with this?

00:39:52.580 What's wrong with this?

00:39:53.520 And as men, we just look for problems.

00:39:55.880 But I think there's very few men who are like, oh, there's a problem.

00:39:59.780 Now I'm going to fix it.

00:40:00.700 I was just editing my podcast with speaking of Echelon Front, JP Donnell.

00:40:04.320 Now he's a lead instructor with Echelon Front as well and a Navy SEAL and task unit bruiser.

00:40:10.920 And he said the thing that he really enjoyed about the SEAL teams and his experience in the

00:40:17.140 brotherhood is that the guys own the problems and they own the solutions.

00:40:25.200 And I thought that was a really, really interesting perspective.

00:40:28.260 And I think it's few and far between to find a man who owns the solutions to problems.

00:40:34.960 Yeah.

00:40:35.760 You know what I think though, Ryan?

00:40:38.020 I mean, and plus, I mean, let's be frank, the podcast, this is a full-time job, right?

00:40:43.120 So the question would be like, who's going to step up, quit their job and like dedicate

00:40:46.920 their time, their life to this.

00:40:48.320 Yeah.

00:40:48.620 Yeah.

00:40:48.820 Good point.

00:40:49.200 Um, however, I do think that on the iron council, I could totally imagine that happening

00:40:53.920 where if you passed, you would have the entire leadership team on the iron council go, all

00:40:59.520 right, guys, what are we going to do?

00:41:00.900 Yeah.

00:41:01.340 Yeah.

00:41:01.540 That's probably true.

00:41:02.040 Let's keep these, let's keep these teams together.

00:41:04.140 Let's keep the momentum.

00:41:05.280 Like, I really don't think the iron council would die.

00:41:07.760 I can see that.

00:41:08.380 I think those guys would level up and we would, we'd figure it out.

00:41:11.320 I think, I think, I think that's probably a pretty good assessment, but I also think there

00:41:17.260 would be a large portion who would just drop out, but I think there would be a, uh, like

00:41:21.640 a 20%, you and Bubba and Gatch go, and I shouldn't even name names because there's

00:41:26.900 too many to name and I'll forget somebody, but you guys will, yeah, a hundred percent.

00:41:31.480 You guys will step up, continue the thing and figure something else out.

00:41:34.320 I agree with that.

00:41:35.200 That's a good assessment.

00:41:36.400 Yeah.

00:41:37.480 All right.

00:41:38.200 Enough of me dying.

00:41:39.080 What else?

00:41:40.120 I know, uh, Duffy Miller, how would you like to die?

00:41:43.600 No, I was joking.

00:41:44.160 If you could choose the way to die, what would it be?

00:41:48.120 Yeah.

00:41:48.560 It would not be drowning.

00:41:49.740 It would not be fire and it would not be falling to my death.

00:41:56.100 I know it would not be those things.

00:41:58.120 That's not Duffy's question.

00:41:59.220 I'm just saying, I mean, you were, you were going there, so.

00:42:02.040 I just want to keep on the negative track.

00:42:04.240 All right, let's move on.

00:42:05.820 Uh, Duffy Miller, how can someone practice the right values and doing the right things for

00:42:10.180 a relationship if you're between relationships?

00:42:12.660 Um, I'm assuming intimate relationships primarily is what Duffy's talking about.

00:42:17.900 So I did a, um, I did a, uh, podcast again, just go to order of man and in the search bar

00:42:26.400 type in fix yourself.

00:42:28.740 And the podcast is fix your marriage by fixing yourself.

00:42:32.800 And a lot of guys, I've sent that to a lot of people and they're like, well, I'm not married

00:42:36.680 or I'm in between relationships.

00:42:38.720 Like, dude, it doesn't matter.

00:42:39.940 The advice is all the same.

00:42:41.600 So how do you, how do you work on yourself or how do you practice the right values between

00:42:46.720 relationships?

00:42:47.260 You do those things.

00:42:48.380 And I can't remember exactly what those were, but you keep exercising, you jot down a code

00:42:54.140 of conduct, you maintain discipline, you learn and develop new skills so that you can go start

00:42:59.380 making more money.

00:43:00.880 You find a hobby to engage in so that you can, uh, free your mind and, and have an outlet.

00:43:07.620 Like these are all things that you can do.

00:43:09.540 And by the way, it's not just between relationships.

00:43:11.800 It's also when you're in relationships, you should be doing these things as well.

00:43:15.160 It's exercise, it's knowledge, it's reading, it's application, it's developing new skillsets.

00:43:20.100 It's finding a hobby.

00:43:21.140 Those will serve you well in and outside of romantic relationships.

00:43:24.960 Yeah.

00:43:25.400 And you know, what's going to be hard Duffy is you're going to get on the path and be doing

00:43:29.820 discipline and having all those things and being on track and working in all those areas

00:43:34.140 of your life.

00:43:34.780 And then when you get in a relationship, if you're like most men, you'll throw it all

00:43:39.060 to the side.

00:43:40.160 Yeah.

00:43:40.740 And that's the tough part, right?

00:43:42.460 Is, you know, and we see this even within, uh, guys on battle teams within iron council

00:43:47.760 where it's a little bit of a Mr. Nice guy mentality, right?

00:43:51.120 Where your world revolves around her and you can be on your a game, get in a relationship

00:43:57.060 and you throw it all to the wayside and then you start becoming the man that she doesn't

00:44:00.280 want to be with.

00:44:01.200 Right.

00:44:01.980 Right.

00:44:02.240 So while you become clingy and needy and annoying more than an independent strong man

00:44:07.200 who stands on his own two feet, but would like the companionship of a woman.

00:44:11.640 Yeah.

00:44:12.640 Copy.

00:44:13.500 So Hunter Locke, battle team echo.

00:44:17.820 I said this on Facebook.

00:44:20.060 Maybe I shouldn't say it here.

00:44:21.080 You're an ass for asking this question.

00:44:22.820 But his question, and it was unfortunate.

00:44:27.780 I knew about this question.

00:44:28.880 I totally forgot about it because we don't kind of prep.

00:44:31.160 Right.

00:44:31.580 Right.

00:44:31.920 So we keep this raw.

00:44:32.980 And now I'm like, damn, I should have thought about this question.

00:44:35.560 So Hunter's question, Ryan Kip, what's the most embarrassing thing you've ever done?

00:44:41.060 And what did it teach you?

00:44:43.360 Well, I imagine he has something specific in mind for you.

00:44:46.860 I don't know.

00:44:48.600 I don't think so.

00:44:49.380 Oh, it's just the way he worded it.

00:44:50.880 And you said you're an ass.

00:44:51.960 I'm like, well, he knows specifically something about Kip.

00:44:55.060 Oh, no.

00:44:55.700 I think he's just looking for an opportunity for us to belittle ourselves online.

00:44:59.920 Dude.

00:45:00.320 I don't.

00:45:00.900 What's the most embarrassing?

00:45:02.400 Do you know of one?

00:45:03.800 I don't.

00:45:04.840 Look, here's one for me.

00:45:06.280 Um, I used to drink a lot.

00:45:10.100 I used to get drunk like every night, right out of high school and into college.

00:45:15.120 And one time I went to a buddy's, uh, place and all my, after work and all of my buddies

00:45:21.920 were drunk.

00:45:22.540 I'm like, well, I got to catch up.

00:45:24.340 So we had this beer bong.

00:45:25.620 Do you know what a beer bong is?

00:45:26.980 Yeah.

00:45:27.380 So we had this beer bong and I bonged like, I don't know, like seven or eight beers in

00:45:34.340 like 20 minutes and it just wrecked me.

00:45:38.680 Just like completely wrecked me.

00:45:40.700 And so in the morning I wake, I blacked out.

00:45:44.020 I don't know what, I remember puking over the toilet, um, but I blacked out and I wake

00:45:49.320 up the next morning and a little hungover or whatever.

00:45:51.520 And I go into work and I'm working and I get a phone call from my buddy.

00:45:56.380 He's like, Hey dude, do you remember what happened last night?

00:45:59.880 I'm like, well, I remember drinking and puking.

00:46:02.840 I don't really remember much more than that.

00:46:05.400 And he's like, well, I was in, I was in my room and you came in the room and you went

00:46:12.960 to the corner and just started peeing in the corner.

00:46:16.760 Oh man.

00:46:17.600 And he's like, and I guess he woke up and him and his girlfriend were there and they

00:46:20.920 woke up and said, um, Hey, Hey, the bathroom's in there.

00:46:24.900 And I guess the only thing I said was, no, I'm good.

00:46:27.360 And just kept peeing and then left and just went and passed out somewhere.

00:46:33.100 Oh man.

00:46:33.980 And I didn't remember a thing of this.

00:46:36.160 I'm like, Oh dude, I'm so sorry.

00:46:37.780 I can come over and clean up.

00:46:38.960 He's like, no, we got it taken care of.

00:46:40.340 But like, don't get that drunk.

00:46:42.000 Anyways, that's a small example.

00:46:43.900 I, I used to get drunk a lot to the point where I would, I would come home from work

00:46:50.700 and I would just have a couple of beers just because, and that's where I knew I'm like,

00:46:53.840 Oh man, this is a problem.

00:46:55.500 Yeah.

00:46:55.700 It's not looking good.

00:46:56.480 It's not looking good.

00:46:57.340 So I, I quit cold Turkey.

00:46:59.060 I quit.

00:46:59.840 And I haven't had a drink for man.

00:47:02.940 I don't know.

00:47:03.880 16 years or something.

00:47:05.060 Is that, was, were those the same parties that Kavanaugh was at or?

00:47:08.380 No, no, it was not like that at all.

00:47:12.120 Oh man.

00:47:14.820 I, so I have a lot of stories like that where in my, in my youth, I was a little wild and

00:47:22.160 liked to get drunk and it wasn't good, man.

00:47:26.320 I've definitely matured and gotten over that, but yeah, some of those moments are pretty embarrassing

00:47:30.880 for me.

00:47:32.320 Yeah.

00:47:32.880 So I don't, man, I wish I could come up with something profound that wasn't so long ago.

00:47:37.360 And I know darn well that like later today I'm going to be working and go, Oh wait,

00:47:41.940 that's, that was a better story.

00:47:43.260 I should have shipped out one instead.

00:47:44.460 But the only thing that comes to mind, um, probably one of the first most embarrassing

00:47:49.080 moments is, uh, I remember I was late middle school.

00:47:54.360 Yeah.

00:47:54.780 Late middle school.

00:47:56.100 And there is a talent show at the school and I wanted to be in that talent show really

00:48:01.780 bad.

00:48:02.140 And, uh, I went to my sisters and said, Hey, I want to dance in the talent show.

00:48:08.040 And so they're like, Oh, we gotcha.

00:48:10.940 We'll help you.

00:48:12.200 So, so we grabbed some, uh, Michael Jackson, MTV music videos and, uh, you know, rehearsed

00:48:20.120 gave me like a whole little dance routine to do, which, which included me like eventually

00:48:27.620 laying on the ground and humping the ground, which in hindsight, I was like, what were my

00:48:34.080 sisters doing?

00:48:35.180 Right.

00:48:35.540 Or actually now makes sense.

00:48:36.980 Right.

00:48:37.180 They're like, Oh, this is going to be funny.

00:48:39.200 So, uh, and that was really embarrassing.

00:48:41.300 And it was an area that something I really wanted to do and I was really embarrassed to

00:48:45.940 do it.

00:48:46.420 And the lesson I learned was it wasn't a big deal that it wasn't a big deal.

00:48:51.600 And if anything, people respected the fact that I was willing to put myself out there,

00:48:56.160 uh, and try something.

00:48:58.360 So, uh, and I, and I think that's, I don't know, that seems to be the mantra in my life

00:49:03.080 a lot, right?

00:49:03.920 Where there's areas where I'm concerned, I'm embarrassed.

00:49:06.340 Just, I mean, be frank, being on this podcast is especially at first was really intimidating.

00:49:12.620 Right.

00:49:13.720 And, um, but it works out and it's okay.

00:49:17.280 And it's not that big of a deal.

00:49:18.560 It's, it's usually always a bigger deal in my mind than it really is.

00:49:21.020 Yeah.

00:49:21.560 Yeah.

00:49:21.820 There's a, there's a phrase cognitive distortions.

00:49:25.460 I know some guys are probably familiar, but we as human beings have this amazing ability

00:49:28.980 to play things out significantly worse in our minds than they actually are in reality.

00:49:32.860 And it's a good self-defense, self-survival mechanism that we use.

00:49:38.940 Uh, but very often we take it to the extreme and create these really false, weird, strange

00:49:46.880 stories in our minds about how bad it actually is versus the reality of the situation.

00:49:52.520 It's not a good thing.

00:49:53.480 I fall into this trap a lot.

00:49:54.660 I mean, I really get into my head at times and, and start thinking about, oh, this is

00:49:58.420 bad.

00:49:58.700 This is all going downhill.

00:49:59.480 You know, somebody's upset or the podcast doesn't do as well one week as it should.

00:50:03.880 And I think, oh, I guess the podcast is over.

00:50:05.820 Like nobody likes it anymore.

00:50:06.880 Like I do that stuff all the time.

00:50:09.420 Cognitive distortions.

00:50:10.360 It's good to be aware of that because you know, when you're doing it, so you can chill

00:50:13.380 the hell out and get back to reality.

00:50:16.520 Yeah.

00:50:17.400 Cool.

00:50:18.280 There you go.

00:50:19.020 I'm glad, I'm glad we're over that.

00:50:20.460 All right.

00:50:21.720 Jeff flew it.

00:50:23.440 I can have a bit of an all or nothing attitude at times.

00:50:26.640 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, go ahead.

00:50:28.080 I, that's funny.

00:50:29.820 Cause that's an oxymoron.

00:50:30.920 I can have a bit of an all or nothing attitude.

00:50:33.640 You either have an all or nothing attitude or you don't.

00:50:37.000 All right, Jeff, get real, man.

00:50:40.120 You're all or nothing.

00:50:41.460 Admit it.

00:50:42.160 Admit it.

00:50:43.320 Admit it.

00:50:44.180 All right.

00:50:44.560 So when Jeff is having his all or nothing attitude, if I mess up on a tactic for a day,

00:50:50.080 there can be a tendency to say that went wrong.

00:50:53.400 So the hell with everything else, as well as hell with hitting the objectives for the

00:50:58.260 next day.

00:50:58.720 I try to remind myself in those cases that it's about progress, not perfection.

00:51:03.560 And it's most important to pick yourself up and get back on the horse to speak.

00:51:07.780 What other tips do you guys have to help in these situations that find the balance between

00:51:12.700 moving onward, but at the same time, making sure that you're not going too easy on yourself.

00:51:19.260 So I learned this.

00:51:20.400 I don't know where I learned it or where I started implementing it, but this has been

00:51:23.860 so helpful when I catch myself in those moments, because obviously Jeff is catching himself

00:51:28.560 in those moments.

00:51:29.400 Otherwise he wouldn't have brought it up or maybe he's catching himself after the fact.

00:51:32.740 I don't know.

00:51:33.380 But my response or one of the tactics I use is what would I tell my son?

00:51:41.440 If my son was experiencing the same thing right now that I'm dealing with, whether that's

00:51:46.520 being lazy or, or, or messing up in some small instance, what would I tell him?

00:51:54.760 What advice would I give him or her, a daughter, doesn't matter. 0.99

00:51:58.840 Then give yourself that advice and follow it.

00:52:02.040 And I'm assuming that you would tell your son or daughter that, Hey, we all mess up.

00:52:08.540 It's okay.

00:52:09.940 It's natural to mess up, but it doesn't have to define our behavior moving forward.

00:52:17.080 What can we learn when we mess up?

00:52:18.820 And then what do we do?

00:52:19.740 Well, we get back on the horse and we fix it and we correct the behavior and we, and we

00:52:23.160 do what we need to do to, to get back on the track that we've identified for ourselves.

00:52:27.200 So isolate yourself from the moment a little bit, get out of yourself for a second and look

00:52:33.420 at it objectively.

00:52:34.300 What, what would Jeff tell a stranger?

00:52:37.000 What would Jeff tell his kids?

00:52:38.540 What would Jeff give an advice about on this podcast?

00:52:41.880 If he was talking to the masses, take that advice to heart and do the advice that you

00:52:46.500 would give to somebody else.

00:52:48.380 That's called consciousness.

00:52:49.760 It's, it's, it's incredibly powerful.

00:52:52.180 We as human beings have this ability to project ourselves outside and beyond ourselves.

00:52:57.540 That's what makes us so powerful.

00:52:59.320 In fact, there's a lot of people and even studies that suggest that's actually the thing that

00:53:03.900 makes us human is that we have the ability to be conscious, to project ourselves somewhere

00:53:10.280 else, some other time and place, either in the future or in the past and make new decisions

00:53:15.960 based on that stimulus that we have.

00:53:19.480 It's pretty incredible.

00:53:20.340 I would just add that there's huge power in language.

00:53:24.180 And so Jeff label this as giving up, you're going to give up, right?

00:53:30.700 You're going to give up just because you messed up a little bit.

00:53:35.480 So maybe, you know, like you're saying, Ryan, just change the perspective on this a little

00:53:39.400 bit and I, and I, and make it maybe a bigger deal than it is.

00:53:42.620 So then that way you don't give up as easy because it is a form of giving up.

00:53:45.860 There's a little bit of giving up there, you know, right.

00:53:48.520 It's, it's, it's, it's basically you, you've decided to throw in the towel, right?

00:53:54.040 And just say, well, okay, I surrender.

00:53:56.700 Well, yeah, okay, that's fine, but you don't have to.

00:53:59.800 So yeah, I like that kid.

00:54:01.660 That makes sense.

00:54:02.100 The things that we tell ourselves is powerful.

00:54:03.780 So tell yourself the right things.

00:54:06.220 Cool.

00:54:06.780 So Reese, Reese has an interesting question.

00:54:09.460 He says, it's been said that people have lesser impact on their hometowns than they do to

00:54:13.780 the world at large.

00:54:14.660 As an example, Jesus was not as immediately impacting to Bethlehem like it was globally.

00:54:20.500 What's the response to Hurricane Utah to order of man or the IC at large?

00:54:25.120 Can you speak to any of your skeptics in town?

00:54:28.660 And is this a factor for your decision to possibly relocate?

00:54:33.600 I'm not even to the stage where any of this really even matters.

00:54:37.360 You know, it's like, like people, the only people that know what I do in my hometown of

00:54:43.460 Hurricane are the people who are my friends or my wife's friends.

00:54:46.800 And they're like, so what is it that Ryan does exactly?

00:54:49.260 And nobody knows.

00:54:51.140 We're just not at the scale to where people are like, oh, Ryan, Ryan, Ryan.

00:54:55.640 No, it's not like that at all.

00:54:58.220 And I don't care.

00:54:59.660 I don't like, it's not like, do you know who I am when I walk into the restaurant and they

00:55:05.200 can't get me a table right away?

00:55:06.600 Don't you know who I am?

00:55:08.320 I'm the man of the order.

00:55:10.020 That's right.

00:55:11.240 It's not like that at all.

00:55:12.720 And frankly, I don't, I don't care.

00:55:14.900 I really don't.

00:55:16.580 I'll tell you, it is nice when people recognize you.

00:55:19.520 Like I've been recognized on planes a couple of times where like people come up like, hey,

00:55:23.420 aren't you that guy that does order, man?

00:55:24.860 Yeah.

00:55:25.540 And it's cool.

00:55:26.120 Like, I'm, I'm not going to lie.

00:55:27.400 It's flattering and it definitely strokes the ego, but I'm not at a point now where nobody

00:55:34.360 cares.

00:55:35.000 No, nobody knows or cares here or really frankly, anywhere else what it is I'm doing.

00:55:41.600 So I'm curious, like if, if you, you had a new neighbor moving down the street and you

00:55:46.600 guys go introduce yourself or they come over and say hi and they say, oh, Ryan, so what,

00:55:51.260 what do you do for work?

00:55:52.280 What, what, how, what do you, how do you explain this?

00:55:54.800 I'm curious.

00:55:55.480 Yeah.

00:55:55.780 I, I usually what I'll say because I'm not, I just really not interested in like getting

00:56:00.200 in a long drawn out conversation about it is usually what I'll say is I have a podcast

00:56:04.380 and we teach and leadership principles and give men the tools to be better fathers, husbands,

00:56:10.960 business owners, community leaders.

00:56:13.120 Now, a lot of people say, oh, that's cool.

00:56:15.040 That sounds interesting.

00:56:15.740 And like, that's the end of the conversation to which is fine.

00:56:18.300 It's, it's, it's fine.

00:56:19.800 Other people will be like, oh, what?

00:56:21.380 Like, how do you do that?

00:56:22.100 And they're intrigued.

00:56:22.740 And of course I'll delve a little deeper into it.

00:56:25.340 Um, it's just, it's not any different than the way you would introduce yourself.

00:56:30.300 There's, there's nothing different.

00:56:31.440 It's just, it's just to, you know, it is what it is now to the skeptics of my town.

00:56:35.140 There's no, there's no skeptics.

00:56:36.480 Like there's nobody who's like, oh, that Ryan guy, that Ryan guy lives down the road.

00:56:40.780 Have you heard about what he's doing?

00:56:41.980 I said, he's weird.

00:56:43.440 No, no.

00:56:44.140 Like there isn't, there's no skeptics.

00:56:46.720 There's people who are questioned.

00:56:48.600 They're like, oh, what?

00:56:49.320 Like a lot of my wife's friends question.

00:56:52.020 Like, what is it that Ryan's doing?

00:56:53.320 The, the couple of weeks ago when we did our legacy event, there was a couple of friends

00:56:56.700 she had and their husbands, in fact, that ran into her at the store or whatever.

00:57:00.340 Cause we live in a pretty small town and, and said, no, I saw something on Facebook.

00:57:04.260 What is Ryan doing?

00:57:05.000 Oh, that's cool.

00:57:05.560 I didn't know he was doing that.

00:57:06.740 There's nobody's skeptical of what it is we're doing.

00:57:09.260 Cause it's so good.

00:57:11.560 It's so powerful.

00:57:12.620 Right.

00:57:13.000 And everybody that hears about it is like, oh man, that's awesome.

00:57:17.360 Wow.

00:57:17.720 That's really cool.

00:57:18.800 Like, that's a pretty, pretty exciting thing.

00:57:20.680 Like, who's going to, who's going to be skeptical if my wife says, oh yeah, he's up in the,

00:57:25.000 in the mountains this weekend, 20 guys flew in and they brought their sons and they're,

00:57:29.260 they're, they're hiking and they're doing jujitsu stuff and they're, they're camping and they're

00:57:33.860 had, they're talking around the fire.

00:57:35.420 Like, who's going to say, oh, I don't know about that.

00:57:38.760 I can't be good.

00:57:40.700 He's going to say that, which is the power of what we're doing.

00:57:43.920 Um, as far as the factor or whatever to, to relocate, no, I'm not like running away from

00:57:49.980 anything or like, oh, these guys don't believe in me.

00:57:52.120 So I'm out of here.

00:57:53.140 No, just, we were ready for an adventure.

00:57:55.840 We want to do something different.

00:57:56.840 And we're in the space financially, emotionally, physically where, where we can do it.

00:58:01.300 So like, why not take advantage of it?

00:58:02.620 That's the, that's the only reason to, to consider relocating.

00:58:05.280 And you know what, when I moved to a new place, nobody's going to know me and what I do,

00:58:11.100 just like nobody knows me and what I do here in my hometown.

00:58:14.300 Yeah.

00:58:15.100 Although in Maine, all five people might know what you're doing.

00:58:18.340 They may.

00:58:18.980 That's the goal over time.

00:58:20.960 Everybody, the world will know.

00:58:23.240 Yeah.

00:58:23.440 Pete and the four other people in Maine will know.

00:58:28.940 So these last couple of questions, by the way, I felt to announce this, that these are

00:58:32.700 coming from the iron council group.

00:58:34.720 So Hunter, Jeff, Reese, uh, and now this next question by Joe.

00:58:38.240 So, so Joe, uh, at Colt, uh, when you talk about developing your code of conduct, how

00:58:44.800 do you involve your sons more at a young age, six and four, is it better to just develop

00:58:50.320 it than tell them about it or let them have input seems young, but I want them to have

00:58:55.320 buy-in.

00:58:56.300 Yeah, it is.

00:58:56.960 I don't think six is too young.

00:58:58.680 I think six is, is probably pretty, pretty adequate.

00:59:01.400 Even four, I think a four year old, if you, if you talk to your boy, I think he said

00:59:06.180 sons, right?

00:59:07.440 Yeah.

00:59:07.920 So if you talk to his four year old and said, Hey, what do you, what do you think's important

00:59:12.080 that we do?

00:59:14.040 You know, like how, how, what do you, what do you think about dad?

00:59:17.180 Like, what do you like about what I do?

00:59:19.320 What do you admire?

00:59:20.160 I think a four year old might be able to give you some pretty cool answers in a different

00:59:24.400 perspective.

00:59:24.920 You haven't heard before a six year old certainly would be able to now, are they going to articulate

00:59:29.180 it in this masterful sentence that you can now document and use it as a framework

00:59:33.760 for the rest of your life?

00:59:35.220 No, but they're definitely going to give you some insight.

00:59:37.920 So then when you go and you start documenting this code of conduct, and this is what I did

00:59:41.580 with my 10 and almost eight year old now is, is we wrote down this code of conduct, but

00:59:49.940 I gathered their input and they said, well, we think discipline is important.

00:59:53.720 Okay.

00:59:53.960 So what, let's craft a sentence.

00:59:55.700 So we crafted a sentence with my help, of course.

00:59:58.720 So get the insight, get the help and the guidance and then, and then craft the sentences and

01:00:02.780 then ask them what they think of it.

01:00:04.400 Do you like this sentence?

01:00:05.180 And I told my boys a couple of sentences.

01:00:06.820 They're like, no, I think we should say this instead.

01:00:08.820 So we incorporated that into that.

01:00:10.360 This is a collaborative process.

01:00:11.860 It shouldn't just be you.

01:00:13.020 And it certainly shouldn't just be them.

01:00:15.060 Just collaborate in a way that feels best based on their ages and maturity level as well.

01:00:20.080 So yeah, it's funny how your four-year-old could probably just draw a picture on the

01:00:25.860 piece of paper and say, yep, that's me contributing, right?

01:00:28.740 We made this together.

01:00:29.940 Yeah.

01:00:30.580 Yeah.

01:00:30.820 That's a good.

01:00:31.340 And one of the things that we did on our code of conduct is my 10 and eight-year-old, we,

01:00:35.120 and myself, we all signed as well.

01:00:37.220 So now I can go back and say, Hey guys, like last night, what was, um, oh, my, my eight-year-old,

01:00:44.440 he was, he was being destructive in the house.

01:00:47.980 So I can't remember exactly what he's doing, but he was like breaking toys or something.

01:00:51.080 He's just being crazy.

01:00:52.680 And one of our codes of conduct is we respect ourselves, our surroundings and others.

01:01:00.400 So at the dinner table, I said, Hey, remember when we talked about respecting ourselves,

01:01:04.000 our surroundings and others right now, you're not respecting your, your toys and your possessions,

01:01:10.440 which is your surroundings.

01:01:11.460 And you're not respecting us because you're being wild at the dinner table when we should

01:01:15.280 be here having a productive conversation and eating dinner.

01:01:18.220 Right.

01:01:19.320 Yeah, you're right.

01:01:20.220 I remember that.

01:01:20.960 Okay, cool.

01:01:21.920 Correct the behavior.

01:01:22.940 But now we have a document and the expectation isn't loose.

01:01:25.480 It's like, no, you're not living up to the thing that you signed.

01:01:29.360 And I think that creates the buy-in that, uh, that will help keep all of us on the path

01:01:33.900 that we're wanting to travel.

01:01:38.400 Powerful stuff.

01:01:39.840 Uh, Bruce Wilson in Steven Pressfield's book, the art of war.

01:01:44.040 Great book, by the way, he talks about the resistance.

01:01:47.660 What have, what I have found in my life is that the closer that I get to things, I really

01:01:52.560 want Cal, uh, calibration, contribution, et cetera.

01:01:55.600 The resistance becomes a frenzy to derail me from pushing all the way through.

01:02:00.260 It's as if one is running a marathon and hits the wall.

01:02:04.040 What are some tips and techniques that either of you use to get through the wall of resistance?

01:02:08.780 I am specifically interested in the final push techniques to go the complete distance.

01:02:14.120 As it seems, I constantly get derailed near the end and have to start over again.

01:02:19.220 I appreciate all that you guys do for us.

01:02:21.300 Thank you.

01:02:22.480 This is a really good point because resistance comes up everywhere.

01:02:26.140 And I think Bruce is exactly right.

01:02:28.420 I think the closer you get, the harder it becomes and the more resistance that presents

01:02:33.520 itself.

01:02:34.040 Now I frame this a little bit differently.

01:02:35.660 I completely subscribe and ascribe to, uh, Steven Pressfield's idea of the resistance,

01:02:41.580 but the way that I frame it is it's the world's and the universe's way, or even God,

01:02:46.520 however you want to look at it.

01:02:47.860 It's, it's that way of proving if I'm worthy of that thing.

01:02:55.080 And if I don't overcome the resistance, then I prove to the world and myself that I'm not

01:03:01.060 yet worthy of it.

01:03:01.980 Now, some people say that and say, Brian, you got to have self-love.

01:03:04.880 It's not what I'm talking about.

01:03:07.260 You don't get to just have what it is you want just because you want it.

01:03:11.700 So for example, I don't get to be a Brazilian jujitsu black belt because I want to really

01:03:16.280 bad.

01:03:17.760 I don't get to be a masterful guitar player because I really have a desire to be a masterful

01:03:23.040 guitar player.

01:03:24.300 I don't get to be a great dad because I just, ah man, I just, I want to be a good dad.

01:03:29.060 You got to earn that and you earn it by overcoming the resistance.

01:03:35.100 To me, it's like the final exam.

01:03:38.620 The resistance is the exam.

01:03:41.280 This is the test.

01:03:43.240 Have you earned it yet?

01:03:45.060 And if you don't overcome the resistance, then the answer to that is no, you haven't earned

01:03:49.620 it yet, which is okay.

01:03:51.020 It just means you have to regroup, then re-engage so that you are more equipped to earn it next

01:03:57.680 time.

01:03:58.320 As far as some tips and techniques, look at your battle plan because he's talking about

01:04:03.980 a battle plan.

01:04:04.500 He's talking about calibration and contribution, the objectives he has in each of those.

01:04:07.640 So what do we do with our battle plan?

01:04:08.780 We start with the end in mind, as Stephen Covey would say, which is the vision for what

01:04:13.540 I want for myself.

01:04:14.960 Here's the type of individual, the type of man that I want to be, the type of father, husband,

01:04:18.760 business owner, community leader, I want to be now in order to be that kind of individual,

01:04:23.200 I need to accomplish X, Y, and Z in these four categories.

01:04:26.660 Calibration, which is self, contribution, which is being a man of value, condition, which

01:04:31.500 is physical health and wellbeing, and which one?

01:04:36.920 No, we said contribution.

01:04:38.720 Calibration.

01:04:39.300 Connection.

01:04:39.720 Connection.

01:04:40.140 Thank you.

01:04:40.480 Connection, which is the relationships that you have with other individuals.

01:04:44.060 So you have an objective in each one of those categories.

01:04:46.420 Now that you have a 90 day objective, you work backwards into the tactics.

01:04:51.360 What are the things that I can do on a daily basis in order to secure X, Y, and Z?

01:04:55.140 So I'm going to use the guitar just because I picked this up last week.

01:04:58.180 Every single day, my tactic is to practice between 30 and 60 minutes every single day.

01:05:04.160 Now, if I'm not moving towards my objective because I've identified 30 day and 60 day checkpoints,

01:05:09.840 if I'm not hitting those checkpoints, then my tactic is off.

01:05:13.260 Maybe I'm not practicing enough.

01:05:16.940 Maybe the program I'm using is not the right program to be using.

01:05:22.040 And so where can I reevaluate my tactics in order to get back on this path?

01:05:27.440 Okay.

01:05:27.880 Well, I, you know what?

01:05:28.720 I said 30 to 60 minutes.

01:05:29.960 It looks like I'm actually gonna have to practice for 90 minutes a day.

01:05:32.480 Or I'm using this, this online app, uh, Fender app, which is actually really good.

01:05:38.060 But if it's not producing the results, then maybe I have to look at that and find a new book.

01:05:42.020 Maybe I need to bring in a, uh, uh, an instructor and practice live with an instructor. 0.53

01:05:46.860 So the, the, the point that I'm making here is that if it's not working and you're not moving in the right direction based on your checkpoints that will lead to your objectives that lead to your vision, then reevaluate your tactics and see if there's something else that you can do that will help you move the need a little bit further.

01:06:03.880 I like that.

01:06:06.980 I think sometimes Bruce at that wall of resistances is nothing more than sometimes just a mental perception, right?

01:06:15.560 Where you don't want to do those tactics cause you're like, oh, it's not working.

01:06:19.120 Or, uh, you know, maybe, maybe, maybe this isn't going to work or you know what I mean?

01:06:23.680 And you get in your own head and, and not that everything relates to jujitsu, even though it probably does.

01:06:29.940 Uh, you know, this happens all the time, right?

01:06:32.900 In jujitsu, we have these highs and lows, right?

01:06:35.040 Where you, you feel like you're on top of your game and you're like, man, you know, I'm awesome.

01:06:39.380 And you get a little bit of pride and ego and you think you're amazing.

01:06:42.880 And then a week later, it's like everyone can submit you.

01:06:46.540 And it's almost like you might as well take your belt off and start over fresh.

01:06:50.760 And for whatever reason, you're in a slump.

01:06:52.980 But what I've learned over the years is at the end of that slump is another high.

01:06:57.880 So, you know, and it's back to what Ryan was saying earlier about the perception, right?

01:07:03.820 Your, your thought process around the resistance, see it as, yes, I'm almost getting there.

01:07:09.660 Yes.

01:07:09.980 There's a high coming, right?

01:07:12.100 There's an opportunity to learn in this moment of resistance, right?

01:07:15.700 I'm going to rise to the occasion.

01:07:17.120 I'm going to push forward.

01:07:18.840 So I, for me, I just, I think it has to do with maintaining that mindset and, and being

01:07:26.620 really honest with yourself that that resistance is just a sign of the test and it's just a

01:07:32.500 sign of progress coming and growth coming.

01:07:36.160 And that's all it is.

01:07:37.440 And it's not doubt.

01:07:38.580 And it's not all those other things.

01:07:40.280 Yeah.

01:07:40.780 I really liked that Kip. 0.95

01:07:42.000 That makes a ton of sense.

01:07:42.940 One thing I would add to that is also, you said that, that, that a high is coming, but I

01:07:47.280 would also add that another low is coming.

01:07:49.500 Yeah.

01:07:50.160 Yeah.

01:07:50.520 And you have to be realistic about that because I think what some people think Kip is that

01:07:54.760 if you're on the right path, then everything is seamless.

01:07:58.020 It's a high after high after high.

01:07:59.900 Right.

01:08:00.000 That, that if, if it's meant to be that everything will just line up, that's not true at all.

01:08:05.020 You have to be realistic in your expectations.

01:08:07.360 Even if you're on the absolute 100% correct path for you in any endeavor, you are still going

01:08:13.400 to experience highs and lows.

01:08:15.180 It's not personal.

01:08:16.260 It's not meant to derail you.

01:08:19.260 It's nobody's out to get you.

01:08:22.240 It is just part of the deal.

01:08:24.640 And when you recognize, cause look, I recognize there's little slumps.

01:08:28.280 Let's just use the podcast.

01:08:29.100 For example, there's slumps in our downloads, our number of downloads per, per month or per

01:08:34.620 episode.

01:08:35.520 That doesn't mean that it's wrong.

01:08:37.800 It doesn't mean that I'm off.

01:08:39.340 It doesn't mean that the podcast is over.

01:08:41.740 It doesn't mean that people don't like what I have to say, or you have to say, it doesn't

01:08:45.560 mean any of that.

01:08:46.820 It just means this is part of the game.

01:08:49.820 Stay with it.

01:08:50.900 Stick with it.

01:08:51.700 It's a test.

01:08:52.980 You have to prove you're worthy of it.

01:08:55.500 Bear down, get through it and get to that next high.

01:08:58.900 And you will experience another low and another low and another high and another low.

01:09:02.920 It's part of the game.

01:09:04.660 Recognize it, address it for what it is.

01:09:07.360 Yeah.

01:09:07.520 And don't make it wrong.

01:09:09.300 That's what I'm saying.

01:09:10.740 Exactly.

01:09:11.220 Something's wrong.

01:09:11.660 Something's wrong.

01:09:12.180 No, this is normal.

01:09:13.500 This is life.

01:09:14.780 And it may be, there may be some things that are off, right?

01:09:17.920 You're like, oh, well, gosh, this isn't working anymore.

01:09:20.060 What else can I do?

01:09:21.320 Well, okay.

01:09:21.980 Adjust, right?

01:09:22.880 Adjust.

01:09:23.760 But it's not wrong.

01:09:25.320 Absolutely.

01:09:25.940 Yeah.

01:09:26.560 Let's take one or two more.

01:09:27.940 Just depending.

01:09:28.360 Let's take one more.

01:09:29.100 We're running.

01:09:29.380 We're running down on time.

01:09:30.300 Yeah.

01:09:30.600 All right.

01:09:31.380 So Dan Delario, lately I found myself spread pretty thin between family, work, social community

01:09:38.100 obligations, as well as all the hobbies I like to pursue.

01:09:41.600 How do you recommend scaling down so you can concentrate fully on what's important while

01:09:46.540 also avoiding the feeling of not growing as a person because you're not doing or learning

01:09:51.440 more?

01:09:52.080 This is a huge issue.

01:09:53.180 So many people have a hard time saying no.

01:09:55.180 And you have to say no.

01:09:56.660 I'll give you an example.

01:09:57.660 A couple of days ago, a good friend of mine, in fact, Matthew Arrington, he's a friend

01:10:03.300 of mine, but he's also a business partner with the events that we run.

01:10:06.640 And he reached out and he said, hey, man, I'm going to start this nonprofit and here's

01:10:09.720 what we're doing.

01:10:10.420 And you know what?

01:10:11.020 It was right in my wheelhouse.

01:10:12.240 And it was very much in line with what we're doing here.

01:10:14.740 But I evaluated what else I have going on.

01:10:18.500 And I said, you know what, man?

01:10:20.360 I really appreciate the offer.

01:10:21.860 I'm flattered that you would ask me, that you want me to be involved.

01:10:25.160 But at this time, I can't do it because I've got other priorities that are more pressing

01:10:31.040 down the road that may change.

01:10:33.340 But as of right now, with respect to you and what you're looking for, I won't be able

01:10:38.320 to give you that.

01:10:39.000 Now that's taken a lot of practice years and years and years of practice because it's

01:10:44.860 flattering and you want to be helpful.

01:10:48.160 Most men do.

01:10:48.700 I think want to be helpful and want to be appreciated and acknowledged.

01:10:52.760 And all of those things were a sign of appreciation and knowledge, uh, uh, acknowledgement for me,

01:10:57.380 but I can't because I do have other priorities.

01:11:02.440 So it's a matter of documenting all of the things that you're doing and figuring out what has to

01:11:07.860 go, maybe it's coaching.

01:11:10.360 I mean, I had to make that, dude, I had to make that decision this year with my kids

01:11:13.780 that talk about hard.

01:11:16.640 I had to tell my oldest son that I'm not going to coach his football team this year,

01:11:20.000 because I think two things, I think he can get another better experience if he allows

01:11:24.760 somebody else to coach him.

01:11:26.920 And I just don't have the capacity to coach every sport.

01:11:31.700 So I coached my second son's football team, but not my oldest this year's, but I'm going

01:11:35.920 to coach his basketball team and my second son can have somebody else.

01:11:38.520 So we just have to make decisions based on what we can do.

01:11:41.620 And we have to be bold in the way that we communicate those decisions.

01:11:46.060 Yes, I'm in all the way or no, I'm not going to do this at all because I have these other

01:11:51.280 things I'm engaged in and want to make sure I'm serving adequately.

01:11:56.420 It's good, man.

01:11:57.360 Yeah, and I think it's important to Dan that, I mean, there's the balance, right?

01:12:02.160 And that's not necessarily his question, but we talk about this sometimes is, you know,

01:12:06.360 we get focused on what's important and we lose sight that that personal growth is also

01:12:11.840 important, right?

01:12:13.060 So you still need to focus on yourself.

01:12:15.780 You still need to take care of your physical health and your personal growth.

01:12:19.480 It's just, it's, you know, it's that balance a little bit that is tough sometimes.

01:12:24.120 Yeah, yeah, definitely.

01:12:25.000 Cool, man.

01:12:27.080 Well, guys, if you like these questions, if you want to participate and submit and have

01:12:34.720 these kinds of conversations with the other guys within the Order of Man or within the

01:12:38.320 Iron Council, you can join us on facebook.com forward slash groups, forward slash Order of

01:12:43.900 Man.

01:12:44.900 And then if you're ready to level up and kind of get a little bit more in depth, right,

01:12:49.820 kind of go a little hardcore, join us at the Iron Council.

01:12:54.020 Uh, you can learn more about the Iron Council at, um, what is the URL?

01:13:00.280 I always, I want, I always want to put the, and I can't remember which one has.

01:13:04.340 Well, we had, yeah, it's order of man.com slash Iron Council order of man.com slash Iron

01:13:09.320 Council backslash Iron Council. 0.94

01:13:10.820 It's actually a forward slash.

01:13:12.900 Oh, sorry.

01:13:13.300 Forward slash Iron. 0.97

01:13:14.120 See, now, see, you got me all confused.

01:13:17.080 Forward slash Iron Council. 0.87

01:13:19.140 Don't mess with me, Kip.

01:13:20.160 Forward slash Iron Council. 0.87

01:13:20.740 All right.

01:13:21.140 You can follow Mr. Mickler on Instagram at Ryan Mickler and on Twitter at Order of Man.

01:13:29.200 And check out the Facebook or check out the website.

01:13:33.400 Go visit the store.

01:13:34.220 Or do we get new products in yet or they're, they're almost coming?

01:13:37.660 They're close.

01:13:38.840 We've got a couple of hat styles, curve brim hats for all of you curve brimmers out there. 0.99

01:13:45.900 And, uh, um, hoodie, long sleeve shirts, beanie.

01:13:51.980 What do they call it in Canada?

01:13:53.320 Someone was telling me what they call it in Canada.

01:13:55.840 And they told me.

01:13:56.440 A different name?

01:13:56.960 Yeah.

01:13:57.400 For a beanie.

01:13:58.020 For a beanie?

01:13:58.280 And they told me and I'm like, I don't know what that is.

01:14:00.040 They're like, oh, it's a beanie.

01:14:01.720 Sock hat.

01:14:02.220 I don't know.

01:14:02.660 They're wrong.

01:14:03.180 I know they're wrong.

01:14:03.920 Whatever, whatever it is, they call it is wrong.

01:14:06.540 But that's coming.

01:14:07.820 That's going to start a fight. 1.00

01:14:09.460 Well, what's going to start a fight is that you just mentioned a brim hat.

01:14:12.860 I, I swear.

01:14:14.440 Right.

01:14:16.000 We start talking about flat brim and curve brim hats and all of a sudden, uh, the whole

01:14:20.860 world starts.

01:14:21.640 We're going to break the internet with, uh, these kinds of conversations.

01:14:24.320 So you, you curve brim guys, you, you have, you talk a lot of crap, you know, prove us 1.00

01:14:30.220 wrong and actually buy a hat out of the store.

01:14:33.260 So Ryan's not stuck with all of the hats sitting in his basement, trying to get someone

01:14:37.680 to buy them.

01:14:38.600 I got, I got four new curve rim hats that are coming.

01:14:41.700 That are cool.

01:14:42.400 They're really cool.

01:14:43.820 Bubba's just going to buy them all just so he can prove you wrong.

01:14:46.880 That's fine.

01:14:47.500 I don't care who buys them.

01:14:48.800 Just buy them or why.

01:14:51.400 I don't care who or why they buy them.

01:14:52.980 Just buy them.

01:14:53.920 Yeah.

01:14:54.560 Cause Ryan's not wearing them.

01:14:56.100 That's right.

01:14:57.640 Cool, man.

01:14:58.260 We good.

01:14:59.660 Yeah, I think we are.

01:15:00.980 All right, guys, keep submitting those questions.

01:15:02.660 Kip and I will keep answering them.

01:15:03.760 Hope you enjoyed this one.

01:15:04.900 Uh, appreciate you.

01:15:05.720 I say it every week, every week.

01:15:07.260 I'm grateful though.

01:15:08.100 And, uh, appreciate you guys being on this journey.

01:15:09.940 We need more men in this fight.

01:15:11.180 So I would just encourage you to engage a little bit more in whatever way that you see

01:15:15.200 fit.

01:15:15.460 And then also share this, share this episode, share this movement with your dad, your brother,

01:15:20.100 your cousins, your uncles, your friends, whoever it may be that need to hear the message

01:15:23.580 of reclaiming and restoring what it means to be a man.

01:15:26.860 And so guys, until Friday for our Friday field notes, go out there, take action and become

01:15:30.860 the man you are meant to be.

01:15:32.700 Thank you for listening to the order of man podcast.

01:15:35.540 You're ready to take charge of your life and be more of the man you were meant to be.

01:15:39.520 We invite you to join the order at order of man.com.

01:15:42.780 We'll be right back.

01:15:47.720 We'll be right back.

01:15:51.480 We'll be right back.

01:15:56.580 We'll be right back.

01:15:59.620 We'll be right back.

01:16:00.740 We'll be right back.

Order of Man - October 17, 2018

Optimize Your Day, Develop Discipline, and Overcome Resistance ｜ ASK ME ANYTHING

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