Order of Man - Options Equal Freedom ｜ FRIDAY FIELD NOTES

00:00:00.000 If you're strapped for cash, if you're up to your eyeballs in debt, if you are at the behest or under the thumb of the medical industrial complex or big pharma or medication unnecessarily,

00:00:16.880 if you don't have any money and so you have to work for this employer and because you work for this employer and have no money,

00:00:22.160 they're asking you to do something immoral and you're not in a position to walk away, that's at odds with your sovereignty.

00:00:30.000 By now, everybody listening to this has heard the term discipline equals freedom, which Jocko said probably, I don't know, five or ten years ago and maybe longer.

00:00:39.340 Aristotle once said something close to 2,000 years ago that through discipline comes freedom.

00:00:44.240 And I will say that I don't disagree with that.

00:00:46.820 The whole concept of discipline equating to freedom means that what we sacrifice in the short term gives us greater opportunities and greater abundance and more of the life that we, I think most of us, choose to have.

00:01:03.520 The question is whether or not it's discipline that is really the thing that creates freedom in your life.

00:01:09.620 And I'm going to share some ideas not to be antithetical to that idea, but to round out the perspective that not only is it through discipline comes freedom,

00:01:19.860 but I believe that it's through the options that we have, the options that we have to choose between what we do for work,

00:01:27.380 the options that we have to choose who we decide to spend the rest of our life with,

00:01:32.420 the options that we have to choose which ideologies and maybe even dogmas that we pursue that will hopefully lead us to the kind of lives that we want to have.

00:01:41.900 So again, this is not antithetical to the concept of discipline equals freedom, but maybe gives us some new perspectives on what to look for.

00:01:49.260 So today I'm going to share with you four things that you can do to create more options in your life

00:01:53.800 and why having more options in your life ultimately gives you the freedom to choose, the freedom to pursue, and the freedom to live the life that you want.

00:02:02.780 So let's just jump right into it.

00:02:04.540 I've had a stepfather come into my life about the time I was 14, 15 years old.

00:02:09.820 And although there were some not so great examples of what it means to be a man,

00:02:15.420 I do remember him saying quite often that having more options gives you power and gives you control

00:02:22.780 and gives you the ability to choose the life that you desire.

00:02:26.680 He was very successful financially, and I really admired and respected a lot of what he did when it came to building business

00:02:33.140 and building wealth and abundance and prosperity in his life.

00:02:35.860 And quite honestly, I was the beneficiary or the recipient in some ways to some degree of the wealth and abundance he was able to create.

00:02:45.780 Other things, not so stellar, not so great, but I can at least recognize and give credit where credit is due.

00:02:52.200 What I would say as a first tactic or mindset for you when it comes to creating options in your life

00:02:57.940 is to know that it is on your shoulders to fix yourself first.

00:03:03.600 There are so many men that I talk with just about every day who think that only their life would be better if fill in the blank.

00:03:12.820 My relationship would be better if my wife did this. 1.00

00:03:16.620 My career pursuits would be better if only my boss did this.

00:03:21.680 My financial prosperity would be better if only the economy was this way, or the president or Congress did this.

00:03:32.780 I'd be a better parent if my kids were this.

00:03:36.960 And the problem with that is you're not giving yourself any sort of options.

00:03:42.840 You're not giving yourself any sort of control in your life.

00:03:47.540 What you're doing when you ask somebody else to be different in order for you to have a desired result

00:03:54.280 is handing all of the power over to that external circumstance or that person.

00:04:01.320 Nobody is responsible for your life.

00:04:04.080 I'm not responsible for your life.

00:04:06.400 The economy is not responsible for your life.

00:04:08.880 Your wife is not responsible.

00:04:10.360 Your boss is not responsible.

00:04:11.840 Your kids are not responsible.

00:04:13.820 You are responsible for your life.

00:04:16.420 Are you willing to acknowledge it?

00:04:18.900 Now, that's not to say that there aren't factors at play that influence the outcomes of your life,

00:04:25.840 but they are far less relevant than most men give them credit for.

00:04:33.480 If you want to fix your relationship, sure, acknowledge what she might be able to do differently,

00:04:38.560 but I am willing to bet that your relationship will improve in some degree the more that you're willing to invest in that relationship.

00:04:48.460 Your career will get better if you stop saying that my boss is this or the task is this or the economy is that

00:04:55.380 and decide I'm going to learn a new skill, I'm going to pick up a new skill set that will help me be more valuable to this organization.

00:05:04.800 Or if this organization does not present me with the opportunity, then I'm going to look elsewhere,

00:05:09.860 and I'm going to be marketable, and I'm going to have opportunities through networking.

00:05:15.800 It's important, very important as the first step to realize that it is on your shoulders to fix your circumstances,

00:05:23.880 nobody else's.

00:05:24.920 And we are not going to relinquish our power and sovereignty to other people

00:05:30.220 because we think other people have the key, the skeleton key to our life of success

00:05:35.800 or our dreams and hopes and desires is on your shoulders.

00:05:40.040 Number two, never pedestalize anything.

00:05:44.180 Do not pedestalize women.

00:05:46.440 Do not pedestalize your employment or employer.

00:05:50.220 Do not pedestalize the doctrine of your company or organization or country.

00:05:57.080 Do not adhere strictly without thinking about it, rational thought process,

00:06:01.680 some sort of dogma, ideology, religion, et cetera.

00:06:07.180 Never follow those things blindly.

00:06:09.800 Keep your options open.

00:06:11.720 Now, I will say that we are not going to, or at least we should not,

00:06:15.320 sacrifice what I'm talking about here for the options that we have or even loyalty.

00:06:28.380 Maybe that's a better way to say it.

00:06:30.200 I'm not telling you that you should be disloyal

00:06:32.800 because I don't think it's antithetical or opposite to not pedestalizing anything

00:06:39.200 to just be flippant and unfazed by the responsibilities that we have,

00:06:46.400 the contractual obligations that we've made, the promises that we've committed to,

00:06:50.520 the commitments that we've signed on for.

00:06:54.560 So just because you might happen to be in a long-term marriage,

00:06:58.020 you might say, well, Ryan's telling me I should have more options.

00:07:01.180 That's not the point that I'm making

00:07:02.880 because we do have commitments that we've made

00:07:05.600 or that I have made a covenant, for example, with God.

00:07:09.840 That's something I hear quite often, and I should not do that.

00:07:12.760 No, that's not what I'm saying.

00:07:14.860 What I'm saying is to keep your options open

00:07:17.320 and don't become so rigid in your thought processes

00:07:22.060 that you're not willing to explore new ideas and new concepts

00:07:26.400 and listen to new ideas

00:07:28.460 and hear what people have to say

00:07:31.220 and try new ways of doing things.

00:07:33.360 I think it is quite possible to be loyal to yourself,

00:07:39.880 to be true to your word, to honor your commitments,

00:07:44.220 and also still acknowledge that there's room for development

00:07:47.560 and improvement and nuance and thoughts and ideas

00:07:51.960 that you haven't considered before or haven't heard before.

00:07:55.140 I would liken this to a level of humility.

00:07:59.820 Not that I have everything figured out,

00:08:02.260 but that I can find new things out.

00:08:06.280 Now, don't sacrifice your principles.

00:08:09.760 Again, that's where the nuance comes in.

00:08:11.480 I'm not telling you that you should be loyal to your thing,

00:08:15.820 but check out new things at the expense

00:08:18.920 of your virtues and your values.

00:08:22.720 No, not at all.

00:08:23.640 You can continue to adhere to your values,

00:08:26.740 but still explore the fringes of what is possible and new ideas.

00:08:30.220 And there are values that are important, that come first.

00:08:33.560 I see this a lot in religion, for example.

00:08:36.880 Take the Ten Commandments, for example.

00:08:39.740 I'm not telling you that just because you happen to be a Christian

00:08:42.760 and adhere to the Ten Commandments,

00:08:44.160 but I'm saying explore the fringes that all of a sudden

00:08:46.860 you can go against the Ten Commandments.

00:08:48.560 No, this is where the nuance comes in.

00:08:51.280 But are there other ways to make sure that we adhere to those commandments

00:08:55.020 or to keep us on this straight and narrow path

00:08:58.000 that we have a desire to live?

00:08:59.720 I'm not saying that because you happen to be in a 10 or a 15 or a 20 or a 40-year marriage

00:09:06.780 that, hey, you should explore your other options

00:09:09.120 and start dating a bunch of other women

00:09:11.080 and then forget your vows and disavow those things.

00:09:14.980 It's not what I'm saying at all.

00:09:17.060 But I am saying, are there different ways to learn how to love your wife better,

00:09:22.480 to serve her more effectively,

00:09:24.460 to help her to live the kind of life that she wants? 1.00

00:09:28.040 And that's what I mean when I say never pedestalize anything.

00:09:31.540 Don't make something so important,

00:09:34.400 unless, again, it's your values or virtues

00:09:36.280 that you're sticking to as a principle

00:09:38.480 that you're just not willing to explore other things.

00:09:41.920 I've often heard those called sacred cows,

00:09:45.680 where you might not even question why or what you're doing,

00:09:48.360 but you've just always heard that this is the way we do it

00:09:50.700 or somebody made you believe that

00:09:52.720 and therefore you're blindly following something

00:09:55.160 that may or may not be leading you well.

00:09:56.820 And the question is, for yourself, is this serving me?

00:10:01.740 Is this moving me in the direction that I want to go?

00:10:04.720 Only you can determine that.

00:10:06.880 Number three, know the difference between coinciding and conflicting interests.

00:10:13.000 All of us are going to be in relationships,

00:10:15.260 platonic, personal, professional relationships in our lives.

00:10:19.220 Thousands and thousands of relationships

00:10:20.860 from the time that we're born to the time that we die.

00:10:22.960 And we need to understand that some of the relationships that we enter into

00:10:29.220 are going to be coinciding relationships,

00:10:31.880 meaning that our goals and our dreams and our desires

00:10:36.380 are going to be so closely linked

00:10:39.400 that we should partner with this individual

00:10:41.720 and we should pursue these professional and platonic

00:10:46.340 and professional relationships

00:10:48.960 because we're going in the same direction.

00:10:54.140 And when we have coinciding relationships

00:10:56.600 and interests in those relationships,

00:10:59.180 then we ought to work together.

00:11:02.400 But once those become conflicting relationships,

00:11:06.020 and they often will,

00:11:07.680 that's the time that we ought to consider

00:11:09.560 that maybe this is not the best relationship for me.

00:11:12.260 We don't want to become so locked into these things

00:11:18.680 that we continue to just beat our heads against the wall, so to speak,

00:11:23.040 because we're quote-unquote supposed to.

00:11:27.140 Is my employment relationship coinciding?

00:11:32.000 Meaning we're walking towards the same path?

00:11:35.080 Or now is it conflicting?

00:11:36.580 Meaning they're going a different route

00:11:39.700 or they're asking me to jeopardize my own morals and principles

00:11:42.480 that I'm not willing to do anymore?

00:11:44.760 And is that the time that I need to move on?

00:11:48.440 I see this quite often with men in relationships

00:11:50.960 that they've had with friends for 20 and 30 and 40 years

00:11:55.240 with friends from high school.

00:11:56.700 And there was a point in time

00:11:58.440 where it was a coinciding relationship.

00:12:01.000 We're buddies, we're hanging out.

00:12:02.620 Maybe we're on the football team together.

00:12:04.140 Maybe we're chasing around the same girls.

00:12:06.280 Maybe we have the same pursuits in college

00:12:10.520 and our degree and where we want to live

00:12:12.980 and the hobbies and activities that we're interested in.

00:12:15.020 And that's fine.

00:12:16.220 That's wonderful.

00:12:18.140 But I've also seen where you might have a friend for 20 years

00:12:22.760 and they're not living the kind of life

00:12:27.660 that is conducive to the dreams and hopes and desires that you have.

00:12:30.520 But we're supposed to be loyal to those people

00:12:32.640 because why?

00:12:35.380 I don't know.

00:12:36.260 Somebody said we're supposed to.

00:12:38.460 And now all of a sudden you're in a conflicting relationship,

00:12:41.320 in this case a friendship,

00:12:44.120 that is no longer serving you.

00:12:46.060 If anything, it's actually hindering you.

00:12:48.360 Or even romantic relationships.

00:12:51.700 And again, I'm not telling you to be flippant.

00:12:53.300 I'm not telling you to sacrifice all of this stuff

00:12:56.280 and not be loyal.

00:12:59.100 That's not what I'm saying.

00:13:00.620 But there might even be romantic relationships

00:13:03.220 where you've been with a woman for a period of time,

00:13:05.640 whether it's six months or six years or whatever,

00:13:08.760 where when you were together originally,

00:13:12.500 you had the same dreams and hopes and desires

00:13:14.860 and goals and objectives.

00:13:16.640 And now you just don't.

00:13:19.460 Maybe she sees it differently.

00:13:21.520 Maybe you see it differently.

00:13:22.640 I would say that if you're in a committed relationship,

00:13:28.720 that if you start to see conflicting interests,

00:13:31.600 that you actually spend a lot of time

00:13:33.540 figuring out how to be back on the page

00:13:35.380 of coinciding interests.

00:13:38.360 But the longer it goes where you're conflicted

00:13:40.980 in your interests,

00:13:41.700 the harder it's going to be

00:13:43.220 and the worse it's going to get.

00:13:44.620 And the more that you are going to sacrifice yourself

00:13:47.080 on the altar of this relationship

00:13:51.480 that isn't growing,

00:13:52.960 that isn't developing,

00:13:53.840 that isn't getting better,

00:13:54.660 that isn't improving,

00:13:55.600 that maybe two parties aren't willing to work on it.

00:13:59.120 My fear in telling you that

00:14:00.580 is that you might believe I'm advocating

00:14:02.480 for breaking down long-term relationships

00:14:05.540 because you're flipping about it

00:14:07.580 and think that you want something better.

00:14:08.980 Be very careful with these things.

00:14:11.800 This is a very dangerous path,

00:14:13.280 but it's also important to know

00:14:15.120 that things change over time.

00:14:19.940 Unless you can be vigilant and active,

00:14:22.600 especially in the relationships you want to keep,

00:14:25.460 with keeping those in line with coinciding interests,

00:14:30.080 it's going to drift very easily

00:14:31.960 and very rapidly over time as well.

00:14:35.060 Next thing, guys,

00:14:36.200 is know that sovereignty is the way.

00:14:39.540 Sovereignty in all things.

00:14:40.680 Basically, it's synonymous

00:14:41.700 in the way that I'm explaining it with liberty.

00:14:43.280 If you're strapped for cash,

00:14:48.240 if you're up to your eyeballs in debt,

00:14:51.520 if you are at the behest

00:14:54.420 or under the thumb of the medical industrial complex

00:14:58.920 or big pharma for medication unnecessarily,

00:15:04.220 if you don't have any money

00:15:06.280 and so you have to work for this employer

00:15:07.760 and because you work for this employer

00:15:09.340 and have no money,

00:15:10.020 they're asking you to do something immoral

00:15:11.560 and you're not in a position to walk away,

00:15:15.360 that's at odds with your sovereignty.

00:15:17.080 If you're not healthy,

00:15:18.780 if you're not making good choices,

00:15:20.500 if you're not setting boundaries

00:15:24.100 and having people respect you,

00:15:26.840 then you are relinquishing sovereignty

00:15:29.420 to other businesses,

00:15:32.540 people, relationships,

00:15:35.240 financial institutions,

00:15:37.260 big daddy government,

00:15:39.380 the medical industry,

00:15:40.880 academia,

00:15:42.400 not interested.

00:15:43.080 the more other people are demanding of you

00:15:46.140 and the more you acquiesce to those demands,

00:15:48.640 the less sovereign that you are.

00:15:50.500 And the less sovereign that you are

00:15:51.900 means that you're going to make worse choices.

00:15:54.740 Let me give you an example.

00:15:55.860 If you're at an employment

00:15:56.880 and they're asking you to do something

00:15:58.860 that jeopardizes your morals,

00:16:01.200 but you don't have 10,

00:16:04.560 20,

00:16:04.940 30,

00:16:05.320 50,

00:16:05.660 $100,000 in your bank account

00:16:07.340 and you're going to wonder

00:16:09.320 where the next mortgage is going to come from,

00:16:11.560 you're far more likely

00:16:14.260 to engage in that behavior

00:16:15.860 than if you had 20 or $30,000

00:16:17.880 with zero debt

00:16:18.840 sitting in your bank account

00:16:19.820 and now you can say,

00:16:21.640 no,

00:16:21.740 I'm not going to do that thing

00:16:22.960 that you're asking me to do.

00:16:25.180 Or in the same context,

00:16:26.620 maybe you have other connections

00:16:28.220 and networking opportunities

00:16:29.540 and CEOs

00:16:30.680 and business owners

00:16:31.720 and bosses that you know

00:16:32.840 and somebody comes to you

00:16:33.620 and says,

00:16:33.960 hey,

00:16:34.060 we need you to do this thing at work,

00:16:35.340 which goes against your own sovereignty

00:16:37.400 and you say,

00:16:37.820 I'm not going to do that.

00:16:39.500 And you know you're not going to do that

00:16:40.680 because you could easily make

00:16:41.920 three,

00:16:42.280 four,

00:16:42.540 five,

00:16:42.880 a half a dozen calls today

00:16:44.540 and have employment lined up this afternoon.

00:16:48.960 I don't want creditors

00:16:50.080 beating down my door ever.

00:16:53.460 I don't want to run the risk

00:16:56.200 of some organization,

00:16:57.280 some financial institution

00:16:58.680 or some high-level CEO

00:17:00.160 at some point saying,

00:17:01.400 hey,

00:17:01.580 Ryan owes us this amount of money

00:17:02.980 and he's going to pay

00:17:03.900 within the next 30 days

00:17:04.940 or he's going to lose his thing.

00:17:07.500 My house,

00:17:08.380 my car,

00:17:09.920 whatever it might be.

00:17:11.000 Same thing with the government.

00:17:13.200 I'm not interested

00:17:14.180 in having the government

00:17:15.500 just run rampant

00:17:18.100 and become,

00:17:19.120 it's already bloated

00:17:20.060 and large

00:17:20.640 and disgusting, 0.84

00:17:22.080 but I'm actively railing against that

00:17:24.180 because I don't think

00:17:25.160 we need some institution

00:17:26.740 to put their thumb

00:17:27.880 over us at all times

00:17:29.360 and tell us

00:17:29.840 what we're going to do,

00:17:30.560 why we're going to do it,

00:17:31.280 how we're going to do it

00:17:32.060 and what we can do

00:17:33.220 with our own resources.

00:17:35.220 Not interested in that.

00:17:38.040 I'm not interested

00:17:38.900 in being 40,

00:17:39.820 50 pounds overweight

00:17:40.920 and having to run the risk

00:17:42.580 of contracting diabetes

00:17:44.540 or unnecessary medical diagnosis

00:17:47.920 like a cancer issue

00:17:49.440 that I could have avoided

00:17:50.300 if I would have just eaten healthy

00:17:51.840 and been lean

00:17:54.560 and strong

00:17:55.300 and fit

00:17:55.900 and mobile

00:17:56.640 and active.

00:17:59.560 So I would ask you,

00:18:01.640 where in your life

00:18:02.620 are you relinquishing

00:18:03.900 your sovereignty

00:18:04.680 to the medical industrial complex,

00:18:08.560 to big pharma,

00:18:10.540 to academia,

00:18:11.600 to the government,

00:18:12.260 to your wife,

00:18:13.120 to your children,

00:18:13.820 to your boss,

00:18:14.500 to your creditors

00:18:15.340 and start asking,

00:18:18.460 what can you do right now

00:18:19.580 to get those people

00:18:20.940 off of your back,

00:18:22.740 out of your life

00:18:24.000 and uninvolved

00:18:26.000 in the day-to-day affairs

00:18:27.240 of what you have going on?

00:18:29.560 That is the basis

00:18:30.560 and the foundation

00:18:31.280 of sovereignty.

00:18:32.820 And if you want a resource

00:18:33.940 on that,

00:18:34.420 check out our battle planning app.

00:18:37.160 You can go to

00:18:38.200 12weekbattleplanner.com

00:18:39.740 or you can go to our store,

00:18:41.240 store.orderofman.com

00:18:42.460 and pick up our,

00:18:43.280 the analog version.

00:18:45.060 That's what I typically use

00:18:46.300 and it will help you

00:18:48.320 come up with ideas.

00:18:49.180 You can also go to

00:18:49.960 orderofman.com

00:18:50.840 slash battle ready

00:18:51.720 and help you identify

00:18:53.220 where you're relinquishing sovereignty

00:18:54.700 and what specifically

00:18:56.620 you can do about it

00:18:57.420 in the next 90 days.

00:19:00.280 Discipline can equal

00:19:01.160 freedom over time.

00:19:02.780 And I'm not telling you

00:19:03.840 by saying this

00:19:04.480 that it won't.

00:19:05.900 I'm saying that

00:19:06.700 you want to create

00:19:07.400 options for yourself.

00:19:09.740 Fix yourself.

00:19:11.200 Improve yourself.

00:19:12.700 Get better in every way.

00:19:14.400 Never pedestalize anything.

00:19:16.200 No government,

00:19:17.000 no company,

00:19:17.680 no organization,

00:19:18.600 no woman,

00:19:19.700 no religious ideology,

00:19:22.020 no dogma.

00:19:24.520 Nothing.

00:19:26.320 Question everything.

00:19:27.780 Not with a pessimistic attitude

00:19:29.620 but a healthy dose

00:19:33.080 of realism,

00:19:34.860 humility,

00:19:35.680 and curiosity.

00:19:36.940 Number three,

00:19:37.360 know the difference

00:19:37.880 between coinciding

00:19:38.900 and conflicting interests

00:19:40.120 and relationships

00:19:40.820 and start to recognize

00:19:42.900 the patterns

00:19:43.440 when things are conflicting,

00:19:45.560 they're no longer aligned.

00:19:47.780 And your job as a man

00:19:49.120 is to either get those things

00:19:50.120 back into alignment

00:19:51.020 because they're important to you,

00:19:52.480 relationships with your kids

00:19:53.560 or your wife,

00:19:54.100 for example,

00:19:54.860 or maybe even employer,

00:19:56.160 or figure out ways

00:19:57.700 to find other places

00:19:59.420 and other relationships

00:20:00.600 that are more coinciding

00:20:02.840 with your own dreams,

00:20:03.880 desires,

00:20:04.260 and hopes.

00:20:04.820 Don't be flipping about that.

00:20:05.820 That's the warning I gave.

00:20:07.280 And the last is understanding

00:20:08.560 that sovereignty

00:20:09.160 is the path forward.

00:20:10.200 It's the way.

00:20:11.960 Freedom.

00:20:13.380 Liberty.

00:20:14.740 Liberty to pursue

00:20:15.660 what you want to pursue,

00:20:16.820 why you want to pursue it,

00:20:18.340 and how you want to do it.

00:20:20.040 I hope that helps, guys.

00:20:21.180 If you have additional questions,

00:20:22.340 please let me know.

00:20:22.920 If you want to dive deeper

00:20:23.820 into what we're doing

00:20:24.540 and talking about here,

00:20:25.980 please make sure you join

00:20:27.120 our Brotherhood,

00:20:27.980 the Iron Council.

00:20:29.100 We open up again

00:20:30.000 in about three weeks.

00:20:31.460 If you go to

00:20:31.820 orderaman.com

00:20:32.720 slash ironcouncil,

00:20:33.820 you'll learn more

00:20:34.860 about what we do,

00:20:36.580 why it's so important,

00:20:38.120 why we question

00:20:39.000 these things

00:20:40.060 and these dogmas

00:20:40.800 and institutions

00:20:41.480 and everything else,

00:20:43.880 and ultimately secure

00:20:45.780 our own individual sovereignty.

00:20:48.360 Guys, I hope that helps.

00:20:49.440 We'll be back next week

00:20:50.320 for our interview

00:20:50.880 and also our

00:20:52.240 Ask Me Anything on Wednesday.

00:20:53.560 Until then,

00:20:54.060 go out there,

00:20:54.540 take action,

00:20:55.640 and become a man

00:20:56.200 you are meant to be.

00:20:57.400 Thank you for listening

00:21:02.200 to the Order of Man podcast.

00:21:04.260 If you're ready

00:21:04.640 to take charge of your life

00:21:05.900 and be more of the man

00:21:07.040 you were meant to be,

00:21:08.300 we invite you to join the order

00:21:09.620 at orderofman.com.

00:21:11.440 To be continued...

00:21:13.420 To be continued...

00:21:14.980 To be continued...

00:21:17.080 To be continued...

00:21:36.680 To be continued...

Order of Man - May 16, 2025

Options Equal Freedom ｜ FRIDAY FIELD NOTES

Episode Stats

Summary

Transcript