Order of Man - Overcoming a Failed Relationship, Dismissing the term "Fragile Masculinity," and Reversing the Tide of Fatherless Homes ｜ ASK ME ANYTHING

00:00:00.000 You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest. Embrace your fears and boldly chart your own path.

00:00:06.020 When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time. Every time.

00:00:10.480 You are not easily deterred or defeated. Rugged. Resilient. Strong.

00:00:15.520 This is your life. This is who you are. This is who you will become.

00:00:19.760 At the end of the day, and after all is said and done, you can call yourself a man.

00:00:25.440 Kip, what's up man? How you doing?

00:00:27.500 Good. I'm tired, but I'm good.

00:00:29.540 I bet you have a new addition to the family.

00:00:33.100 Yeah, and by default, I get to use that as an excuse of losing sleep.

00:00:38.060 But in reality, I can't complain. It's mostly my wife losing all the sleep. 0.88

00:00:42.200 Oh, I thought you were saying that you were mostly complaining about your wife, not your new kid.

00:00:48.380 So tell me his name again.

00:00:51.740 K-Koa. 0.84

00:00:52.580 K-Koa. 0.84

00:00:53.940 K-E-K-O-A. 1.00

00:00:55.780 So where did that name come from?

00:00:58.140 So my wife is part Hawaiian.

00:01:01.520 Right.

00:01:01.860 And so by default, we have these Hawaiian names for most of our kids.

00:01:06.760 And what does that mean?

00:01:08.100 K-Koa means warrior.

00:01:09.900 I like it, man.

00:01:11.280 Yeah.

00:01:12.120 And K-Koa was born, what, two weeks ago?

00:01:14.400 K-Koa exactly. 0.83

00:01:17.160 Let me think through this.

00:01:18.620 K-Koa exactly one week ago.

00:01:20.280 K-Koa. 0.84

00:01:20.300 Oh, one week.

00:01:21.860 K-Koa. 0.84

00:01:22.020 K-Koa. 0.84

00:01:22.300 No, it was eight days ago, I think.

00:01:24.940 No, no, no, you're right.

00:01:25.660 Because it was the day before.

00:01:27.380 Was it eight days ago?

00:01:28.860 K-Koa. 0.84

00:01:29.180 Yeah, it was a week and a half.

00:01:31.560 Or week and a day, I should say.

00:01:33.160 So last Monday.

00:01:34.120 Yeah, because I remember where I'm like, do you still want to do this?

00:01:36.600 And you're like, yeah.

00:01:37.560 I'm like, that's weird.

00:01:39.000 And then I think I called you at nine or whatever when we were going to record and you didn't

00:01:45.340 answer.

00:01:45.920 And I'm like, that son of a gun stood me up.

00:01:48.480 And I'm like, well, understandable.

00:01:50.300 He had a kid less than 24 hours ago.

00:01:52.820 Although that serves as a perfect lesson, right?

00:01:57.600 It was establishing boundaries and not saying yes when you probably shouldn't, right?

00:02:00.700 Well, when you said yes, I was thinking to myself, I'm like, no way.

00:02:03.800 I wouldn't do that.

00:02:04.680 And then I'm like, well, maybe he just feels like mom and baby will be sleeping and he needs

00:02:09.240 to get out of there for a minute.

00:02:10.660 So I'm like, okay, I'm on if you're on.

00:02:14.100 Yeah.

00:02:14.520 Well, what it was is I thought when you asked, we would be home by then and we wouldn't have

00:02:20.320 to stay in the hospital.

00:02:21.700 And if we were home, I think I would have been down.

00:02:23.680 But we're still at the hospital.

00:02:24.740 And as you can imagine, hospital Wi-Fi is almost as bad as hotel Wi-Fi.

00:02:30.380 Yeah.

00:02:30.960 Yeah.

00:02:31.280 And so completely unreliable.

00:02:33.500 So I figured it's not going to work.

00:02:35.260 That's right, man.

00:02:35.820 We had some in the queue.

00:02:36.860 We were prepared.

00:02:37.720 So we're good to go.

00:02:39.200 So Keiko is good.

00:02:40.520 He's healthy, happy.

00:02:41.780 Yeah.

00:02:42.100 He's smiling, man.

00:02:42.980 He's already like smiling.

00:02:44.040 I'm like, what the?

00:02:45.240 He's a cute little guy.

00:02:47.720 Yeah.

00:02:47.920 He's super cute.

00:02:49.060 Mom's doing Asia's, you know, Asia, she's a rock star. 0.95

00:02:52.220 She's already walking around and everyone's like, what?

00:02:54.520 You don't even look like you had a kid.

00:02:56.280 So she's doing great.

00:02:57.380 Did she do an epidural or did she do it naturally? 0.98

00:02:59.440 She did an epidural this time.

00:03:02.760 Okay.

00:03:03.480 And, but it, I don't know, that stuff messes with her. 1.00

00:03:06.460 She, she hasn't done one in the past and she recovers really quick.

00:03:09.740 Yeah.

00:03:09.900 And then this time she had like no legs. 0.75

00:03:12.120 Like they're like, oh, you should have your filling of your legs back.

00:03:15.020 Oh no.

00:03:15.440 In a couple hours.

00:03:16.120 It's brutal.

00:03:16.480 It was like the next day she still had no legs.

00:03:18.340 Yeah.

00:03:18.560 I'm like, oh man, this is not a good sign.

00:03:19.940 My wife did an epidural for the first one. 0.78

00:03:22.160 And, and I actually, I watched it.

00:03:24.700 I shouldn't have watched it, but I did.

00:03:26.280 And that doc was sticking that needle through her spine.

00:03:29.080 And I literally, I literally almost passed out.

00:03:34.400 The other nurse in the room, like came and grabbed me and had me sit down and like brought 1.00

00:03:38.980 me orange juice and a donut or something.

00:03:40.700 And my wife was so pissed at me because I shouldn't be passing out while she's about 1.00

00:03:45.980 to deliver her baby.

00:03:48.020 And then the other three, so we have four.

00:03:49.820 So the other three, she did naturally.

00:03:52.100 Yeah.

00:03:52.820 We had some complications of the last one.

00:03:54.400 Oh, a hundred percent better, like night and day better.

00:03:57.720 It is, it is so much better.

00:03:59.060 And she, of course, obviously more painful, but she said that, that doing it naturally is

00:04:04.280 the way to go.

00:04:05.220 Should we get into this enough talking about women and babies and everything else?

00:04:08.460 And let's get into some of these questions today.

00:04:10.420 Yeah, for sure.

00:04:11.220 For sure.

00:04:11.840 And the first few questions we actually have from Joshua Jones from the, uh, a patron member.

00:04:17.400 And so we'll kind of kick off with him and then we'll jump back into some of the order

00:04:21.500 of man Facebook group.

00:04:22.860 Yeah.

00:04:23.020 And just so the guys know, cause there's probably going to be some guys who are tuning

00:04:26.060 in for the first time that these questions come from our Patreon members, which is order

00:04:30.920 of man.com slash Patreon.

00:04:32.320 It's just a way to support.

00:04:33.200 And there's some other kickbacks and perks and things with, uh, with supporting the show.

00:04:36.920 So order of man.com, or excuse me, Patreon P-A-T-R-E-O-N.com slash order of man.

00:04:43.360 Uh, there's our Facebook group.

00:04:45.140 And then of course there's the iron council, which is our exclusive brotherhood.

00:04:48.960 So that's where these questions are coming from.

00:04:50.880 And I think these are a lot of, uh, leftovers from previous weeks.

00:04:54.620 Yeah.

00:04:55.140 Yeah.

00:04:55.420 We, you guys answered the call for action and we have a huge amount of questions.

00:04:59.560 And so we'll, we'll get going and, and get through as many of these as we can.

00:05:03.940 Cool.

00:05:04.140 Let's do it.

00:05:04.960 All right.

00:05:05.380 So Joshua Jones, first question, how many hours a week are you spending on podcasting?

00:05:10.260 Do you edit the podcast yourself?

00:05:13.260 I think you, I've heard you say this or that you outsource this in the past.

00:05:16.920 I just wanted to clarify.

00:05:18.740 So I do, so we have three shows per week.

00:05:21.120 So we have our Tuesday interview show and those shows are anywhere between 60 to 90 minutes

00:05:25.240 of recording.

00:05:27.040 Uh, and then once it's recorded, I send it off to an editor.

00:05:30.380 I didn't always have an editor, but I've had an editor for two, two and a half years now.

00:05:35.020 And that was a lifesaver because I hate editing podcasts.

00:05:39.240 So I've got that.

00:05:40.120 Then we've got this show and we go for usually a little over an hour.

00:05:44.180 Um, and then I might put in an additional half an hour, just like cleaning it up and,

00:05:47.820 and putting it on our, uh, Libsyn account, which is basically where the files hosted.

00:05:53.320 It gets a little bit technical, but that's where that goes.

00:05:55.740 Uh, and I, I don't send this off to an editor.

00:05:57.560 This is raw.

00:05:58.140 You and I, I don't edit this at all.

00:05:59.660 I just cleaned up the audio a little bit, but there's no splicing or anything like that.

00:06:02.460 Uh, and then I do the Friday field notes, which is usually about, I don't know, 25,

00:06:06.740 30 minutes.

00:06:07.680 And I take another 30 minutes just to maybe clean up the audio a little bit there.

00:06:11.480 But again, that one's raw as well.

00:06:12.700 So that one takes me an hour.

00:06:13.720 This one takes me an hour and a half.

00:06:15.920 Uh, and the other one takes me an hour and a half.

00:06:17.280 So we're like five hours into it.

00:06:18.880 Um, all said by five, six hours, maybe.

00:06:22.140 What does that editing consist of that I do or that my editor does that your editor does on

00:06:27.440 those Tuesday shows?

00:06:28.260 Like how extensive is that?

00:06:29.540 Like, oh, it's cleaner, not background.

00:06:31.640 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:06:32.240 That's part of it.

00:06:32.820 So they clear up any background noise.

00:06:34.820 Uh, if there's, you know, weird transition or, you know, if the internet goes out or there's

00:06:40.160 a little hiccup or anything that might go wrong with the audio, cause that's just, it has a

00:06:44.460 tendency to do that.

00:06:45.640 Uh, he cleans that up.

00:06:46.740 Then he puts the intro and the outro and the mid roll and all the, all that kind of stuff

00:06:50.780 into it, splices it all together, uh, cleans up the audio, host it or uploads it to our

00:06:56.260 host, um, gets it all ready in prep.

00:06:58.800 Basically just all of it that I don't want to do.

00:07:01.140 So essentially what I would like to do, and I think this is an important distinction is

00:07:04.380 that it's really important that you do what you're good at.

00:07:07.400 And I'm good at being behind the microphone.

00:07:09.500 I'm not as good.

00:07:10.940 I can do it.

00:07:11.620 I'm capable of doing it, but I don't want to, nor should I be doing stuff like editing

00:07:17.140 podcasts and things like that.

00:07:18.520 You, you should, you should play to your strengths and then let other people play to theirs.

00:07:22.140 And it's a much more efficient way of running a business.

00:07:25.440 I'm totally running with Josh's, uh, or Joshua's question here.

00:07:28.960 I've always wondered who's the guy that does the intro voice.

00:07:33.640 Uh, it's, uh, I don't know his name.

00:07:36.080 Um, it's a guy on Fiverr.

00:07:37.600 Are you familiar with Fiverr?

00:07:39.500 Yeah.

00:07:39.800 And you just asked and he did like a mock intro.

00:07:42.980 I think what they call it is they call it a gig.

00:07:44.960 And he said, Hey, I can do video or excuse me, audio transcription.

00:07:50.300 So if you I'll read anything for a minute for five bucks or something like that.

00:07:54.280 Now he does all kinds of different voices, celebrity voices, characters, things like that.

00:07:58.400 I said, really?

00:07:59.320 Yeah.

00:07:59.660 So I just looked at some of his examples essentially.

00:08:02.080 And I said, Oh, I like this guy.

00:08:02.880 Sounds good.

00:08:03.920 So I wrote the script for it, sent it over to him.

00:08:06.740 He recorded it, sent it back to me and off to the races.

00:08:10.000 Cost me like five, maybe 10 bucks with the outro as well.

00:08:12.820 So that's awesome.

00:08:13.740 I mean, that's the thing is like the barrier to entry people think it's like, Oh, this is

00:08:17.300 some grand magical production.

00:08:18.760 I mean, if, if only the guys listening to this knew where I was recording this from,

00:08:23.600 I'm not sure so many people would listen.

00:08:25.720 Like I'm, I'm in, in, in my basement in what was the guest bedroom.

00:08:30.160 I've got books and papers and I've got my safe over here and I've got this little cheap,

00:08:36.160 let's not a cheap desk, but it's my wife's grandfather's desk. 0.78

00:08:39.020 It's 50 years old.

00:08:40.640 And I've got this little a hundred dollar microphone in my computer.

00:08:43.600 Like this is not elaborate.

00:08:45.080 And I think that's a huge mental roadblock to people getting started.

00:08:49.600 They think it has to be some, some magical production when in all reality, just a minimum

00:08:53.960 of viable product.

00:08:54.760 I think we talked about that maybe a couple of weeks ago, just get something out there and

00:08:58.780 you can improve and I have improved.

00:09:00.240 I've got better.

00:09:00.920 Certainly my, my technology has gotten better.

00:09:04.920 I've invested in some things that clean up the audio and make the audio production better.

00:09:08.580 But I just started, just start, just go.

00:09:12.020 And you know, to pay five or 10 bucks to have somebody do an intro and outro.

00:09:15.620 And then I paid, I don't know, 10 bucks for the music and you're off to the races.

00:09:19.980 It's not hard.

00:09:20.640 It's not a hard thing.

00:09:21.900 It's really not.

00:09:22.340 In fact, Ryan was just playing Fortnite like 20 minutes ago.

00:09:25.940 So it's not a big deal.

00:09:27.120 I did pull an all nighter.

00:09:28.640 I was up all day.

00:09:30.300 You know, I don't even know what every once in a while, my kids come home.

00:09:33.440 They're like, dad, check this move out.

00:09:34.980 And they're doing like a Fortnite dance or something.

00:09:38.060 I'm like, they dance at Fortnite.

00:09:39.280 I thought they were like fighting or shooting each other.

00:09:41.720 We don't have Fortnite.

00:09:42.720 We don't have computer games.

00:09:43.600 We don't have video games.

00:09:45.240 We just, we go outside.

00:09:47.260 Better off.

00:09:48.380 I think so.

00:09:48.940 Better off what we're going to get on a soapbox at one point about video games, but we'll save

00:09:54.020 it for another question at another time.

00:09:56.560 Let's do it.

00:09:57.100 What else we got?

00:09:58.180 All right.

00:09:58.520 Joshua Jones, dude, when you have a Patreon account, you get hooked up.

00:10:02.320 So he's getting three questions in a row.

00:10:04.100 Let's do it.

00:10:04.540 Joshua's second question.

00:10:05.980 What are the top three most challenging things about running an online community?

00:10:13.040 Keeping things civil is certainly a challenge, especially with men. 0.99

00:10:17.040 I mean, there's just some real assholes out there. 0.99

00:10:19.500 Like, like just bottom line, you know, I mean, there look, there's disagreements that 0.99

00:10:23.840 we have every day within our community and there's nothing wrong with that.

00:10:26.780 Disagreements are fine.

00:10:27.560 I think that's actually important that we discuss differences of fit of opinion, but 0.97

00:10:32.060 the way that some guys go about doing it is just completely ridiculous.

00:10:36.260 So that's definitely a challenge and making sure that we stay on track, making one of the

00:10:41.220 challenges I have is just making sure that I'm continually putting information and content

00:10:45.580 out into the world, whether that's Instagram or YouTube, Facebook, this podcast.

00:10:50.720 And it, and it's, I mean, it's so easy to get lost right in this sea of everybody doing

00:10:55.380 it.

00:10:55.620 And in order to stand out, you have to be very, very consistent in putting content out

00:10:59.100 there.

00:10:59.380 So there's certain days where I'm like, Oh, I don't want to make an Instagram post.

00:11:03.800 And yet I realized this is part of the job description.

00:11:06.380 And so I don't want to say I slap things together, but cause I am prepared and I've got a backlog

00:11:12.240 of things I can talk about, but some days I just don't feel like doing it.

00:11:15.760 And yet I do it because it's important to stay engaged.

00:11:19.900 It's important to stay relevant.

00:11:22.320 And then the third component is, and I think this might come a little bit later down the

00:11:27.780 line, you know, we're almost four years into this thing now is finding the right people

00:11:31.140 like yourself, Kip, you know, finding the right people and trying to navigate them into

00:11:35.520 the right positions.

00:11:36.300 You being here on this podcast is you the right person in this podcast, the right position.

00:11:41.220 And I get messages every single day from people that, that, you know, how much they

00:11:46.220 appreciate the podcast.

00:11:47.140 And they're talking about what we're doing with, with this ask me anything show.

00:11:50.600 And it's just a testament to the fact that, that you are a great co-host and that I've

00:11:55.420 had the ability in this case to be able to put the right person in the right position.

00:11:59.420 Uh, but there's other places inside the iron council and making sure I have good designers

00:12:04.160 and making sure I have a good podcast editor.

00:12:06.040 And so that is a challenge.

00:12:08.040 I feel like I've got some of that stuff tightened down and others.

00:12:10.120 I feel like I struggle, but, uh, I think those are the top three that come to mind right

00:12:14.220 off hand.

00:12:15.440 If you don't mind me jumping to that number two, cause I've been wondering about this

00:12:19.520 when I get into arguments, not already, I shouldn't say that when I disagree with someone

00:12:25.160 on, let's say Facebook and what they said, I'm like, I totally disagree with.

00:12:30.100 And in most cases I address those by it's not worth like I'm not in a position or new,

00:12:37.040 nor do I have the desire to convince someone to see something differently.

00:12:40.760 Yeah.

00:12:41.020 So I just don't care.

00:12:42.320 However, with an online community, do you feel like there's a level of clarity that

00:12:47.400 you, that, that you need to clarify, right?

00:12:50.260 That if someone on the order of man, Facebook group posts something and says something and

00:12:54.860 it's just a statement, let's say, let's say it's not even a question, but his statement

00:12:58.860 is inaccurate.

00:12:59.860 Do you feel a heightened level of responsibility that you need to provide clarity and correction

00:13:06.140 based upon what was said?

00:13:07.500 Well, that's my job, right?

00:13:08.900 My job is to leave this organization, which means that if there's something that is counter

00:13:13.240 to what this organization stands for, then it's my responsibility to bring it up.

00:13:16.800 Now, ultimately everybody has, what's that?

00:13:19.660 I think that would get old.

00:13:21.500 It is because there's some crazy wacky ideas out there and, and, and people say, well, according

00:13:26.780 to whose standard mine, it's my organization.

00:13:29.440 So my, my standard, my beliefs, my thoughts, well, those are just your opinions.

00:13:33.540 Yes, that's correct.

00:13:34.980 Those are just my opinions.

00:13:36.260 And this is also just my organization.

00:13:38.120 So I get to share my opinions.

00:13:39.580 So, uh, now here's one thing that I would say and add this little caveat into this thing

00:13:44.160 is that I don't, I don't necessarily get into a debate or quote unquote, defend myself

00:13:50.400 against or what somebody else might say for that individual.

00:13:54.100 I do it for everybody else paying attention.

00:13:57.780 So for example, somebody might say something about me or negative about what we're trying

00:14:02.120 to do here.

00:14:02.880 And then I'll come in and say, no, this is what we're doing.

00:14:05.520 And this is why we're doing it.

00:14:06.520 And people will always come back.

00:14:07.620 Other people now come back and say, oh, Ryan, you don't need to defend yourself.

00:14:10.720 This guy's just a hater.

00:14:11.620 I'm like, no, no, no.

00:14:12.620 I'm not doing it to appease or win this guy over.

00:14:15.220 I'm doing it for every other individual.

00:14:17.380 That's going to read my comment and say that a boy, Ryan, thank you for standing up for what

00:14:21.880 was right and true.

00:14:22.600 So there's a difference between trying to defend yourself against an individual who

00:14:27.540 frankly just may not be interested in having a civil discussion and doing it.

00:14:34.600 So people that are following you, that are part of the community, know exactly who you

00:14:39.140 are and what you stand for.

00:14:40.280 There's a difference.

00:14:41.000 So I think I need to be more succinct and maybe that seems so daunting to me because

00:14:47.260 it seems so time consuming.

00:14:49.400 Well, you know, it's to provide that clarity.

00:14:51.720 I'm just like, oh, it's so not worth it.

00:14:53.500 Yes.

00:14:53.760 But again, it's my job.

00:14:55.300 So it's just baked into the cake a little bit.

00:14:58.320 And a lot of people, what they'll say to me is they'll say, right, it's not always so

00:15:01.000 black and white.

00:15:02.000 I'm like, well, I know it isn't, but what I'm doing is giving the counter argument.

00:15:05.220 What I'm doing is giving you the extreme because what most people do is water down everything

00:15:09.620 they've ever shared and everything they ever talk about and talk about all the little

00:15:12.760 exceptions and, and talk about how life is just wonderful and little magical fairies 0.98

00:15:18.220 and unicorns running around.

00:15:19.360 And I'm trying to give you the definitive answer to counter the mediocrity that has just

00:15:25.580 consumed our lives.

00:15:27.240 And so people will say, oh, it's not always so black and white.

00:15:29.600 I realized that, but what if we just thought of it this way for a minute, what could that

00:15:34.220 potentially open us up to?

00:15:36.020 Yeah.

00:15:36.640 And I'm not trying to play devil's advocate.

00:15:38.660 The things that I say, I truly believe, I don't like the devil. 0.98

00:15:42.680 Let me just throw out some bullshit argument just to give you the counter. 0.97

00:15:46.500 I don't really believe it, but let me just throw it out there. 0.99

00:15:48.220 That's, that's intellectually dishonest.

00:15:51.200 So it's not things that I'm making up.

00:15:53.160 It's things that I believe, but I share it in a very succinct, powerful way because nobody

00:15:59.160 else is going to share it that way.

00:16:02.660 What else?

00:16:03.280 Love it.

00:16:03.400 All right, Josh's, uh, Joshua's third question.

00:16:07.640 What advice or guidance do you have for any entrepreneurs currently running a brick and

00:16:11.860 mortar store or a skilled trade service that wants to move to an online business supported

00:16:16.600 community like yours?

00:16:18.340 Uh, just, just get online, you know, just, just build a Facebook page, uh, Instagram,

00:16:23.840 Twitter.

00:16:24.080 I would, I would focus on those three initially, uh, potentially a Facebook group in addition

00:16:29.240 to the Facebook page that you've had, and then just start sharing your message and be

00:16:32.700 consistent.

00:16:33.780 Now, Ryan, your tribe builder, is that course that you offer?

00:16:38.100 I know it's kind of a scheduled thing.

00:16:40.320 It's not always happening, but the tribe builder kind of focuses on this.

00:16:43.820 It does.

00:16:44.220 And it's, it's sporadic.

00:16:45.380 So it's not even scheduled.

00:16:46.540 It's just when enough guys have asked me in a shorter period of time about how to build

00:16:50.200 a tribe.

00:16:50.640 And Joshua was actually reached out to me and said, Hey, when are you doing your next

00:16:53.420 course?

00:16:53.820 I don't know.

00:16:54.440 I don't know when, because like I said, it's not scheduled, but yeah, that's what it's

00:16:57.940 designed for guys that want to build an online community.

00:17:01.440 So, I mean, if you're interested in that, stay tuned when it comes out and if, and whenever

00:17:05.340 else, then we'll, I mean, that's not my focus, you know, I'm not, I'm not like primarily

00:17:09.040 focused on that.

00:17:09.900 So that's just, if I can do it and I feel like doing it, there's enough people that want

00:17:13.280 it, then we do it.

00:17:14.760 And, and for the new listeners, the reason why Joshua was asking this question is because, uh,

00:17:20.640 obviously the podcast has a huge subscription number associated to it and a number of listeners,

00:17:25.800 but there's a corresponding Facebook group, facebook.com forward slash groups, forward

00:17:30.520 slash order of man.

00:17:31.580 And I believe we are roughly over.

00:17:34.500 What are we up to?

00:17:36.120 In the Facebook group?

00:17:37.060 Yeah.

00:17:37.640 What's the last number?

00:17:38.300 Like 52, just over 52,000 people, I think.

00:17:40.540 52,000.

00:17:41.360 So that's ultimately why I think Joshua was asking, right?

00:17:44.200 There, there's obviously a, a lot of momentum and there's a movement around, uh, this podcast,

00:17:50.700 Ryan's podcast.

00:17:51.280 And so that's obviously kind of the root, I think of Joshua's question.

00:17:55.840 Right.

00:17:56.020 And, and to answer his question is, is just get online and post three times per day online.

00:18:01.280 If you can do that and you can do that for six months, you'll start to see some traction.

00:18:06.240 That's it.

00:18:06.860 And people are like, well, what about, no, don't ask any more questions.

00:18:10.040 Get online and post three times a day for six months.

00:18:17.300 Well, what, what if I, what if I do this?

00:18:19.700 And what if get online and post three times a day?

00:18:24.280 Look, that's our tribe builder.

00:18:26.560 Of course, I just gave it to you.

00:18:28.280 Get online, post three times a day for six months and you'll start to build your tribe.

00:18:32.620 There you go.

00:18:33.120 You don't even need to pay for tribe builder now.

00:18:35.900 Done.

00:18:36.300 Or just now have a patron account because you feel guilty because you got something

00:18:40.780 for free.

00:18:41.640 People overcomplicate it, man.

00:18:43.340 It's like, well, what if I do this magic little thing and blah, blah, blah.

00:18:46.820 It's like, what if you do that?

00:18:48.660 It's the same thing with diets and exercise, right?

00:18:51.540 And how do you, how do you lose weight?

00:18:53.060 Really, dude?

00:18:53.840 Do you not know how to lose weight?

00:18:55.580 You eat a little bit better and you move your body a little bit more.

00:18:59.020 Oh, but what about this one special blah, blah, blah?

00:19:01.920 No, eat a little bit better.

00:19:03.900 Move your body a little bit more.

00:19:05.160 Oh, should I power lift or, or body build or do CrossFit?

00:19:09.740 I don't care.

00:19:10.860 You're sitting on the couch, dude.

00:19:12.420 You've been on the couch for the past decade.

00:19:14.240 It does not matter what you do at this point.

00:19:16.860 Get up off the couch, go move your body, eat a little better.

00:19:20.880 Do that for six months.

00:19:22.140 Once you've done that for six months, then let's talk about some advanced techniques

00:19:25.560 and strategies. 0.71

00:19:26.180 But for now, just get your lazy butt off the couch and get your body moving. 0.81

00:19:29.680 Hey, I brought this up, uh, last Sunday when I was teaching a gospel class on Sunday and 0.96

00:19:37.160 it's about staying the course.

00:19:38.560 And, and it's funny how often people fell at their workouts and their regiments because

00:19:43.940 midway they go, Oh, well, you know what?

00:19:45.700 Maybe I should be doing this instead.

00:19:46.840 And then they stop being consistent.

00:19:49.920 They take a break.

00:19:51.220 They try something else because they're not seeing the results quick enough.

00:19:54.180 Right.

00:19:54.300 I mean, sometimes it's like, Hey, you know what?

00:19:55.960 Like to your point, Ryan, give us six months, post three times a day, six months, then see

00:20:00.060 what happens and then adjust.

00:20:01.580 Right.

00:20:02.280 Well, and even talk about, uh, people will say that.

00:20:04.880 How do I become more spiritual?

00:20:06.660 Go to church, read the Bible and pray.

00:20:10.300 But you know what?

00:20:11.540 That's not fun.

00:20:13.000 It's not sexy.

00:20:14.360 Oh, that's all I need to do.

00:20:15.320 Yeah, that's it.

00:20:16.640 Oh, but like, isn't there some sort of like special thing that I can do?

00:20:21.400 Yes.

00:20:21.800 But we already know that praying, going to church and reading scripture will enhance your

00:20:28.380 spirituality.

00:20:30.200 But I don't know.

00:20:31.400 People just want, want it to be complicated.

00:20:33.420 It doesn't need to be complicated.

00:20:34.760 There's no rule that says let's complicate this to the point where we don't do it.

00:20:38.300 And I think that's what I actually, I believe that's what people are doing.

00:20:42.040 I think what they're doing when they're, when they're trying to complicate it is they're

00:20:45.580 trying to weasel their way into an excuse to keep them from moving forward.

00:20:49.180 If it's complicated, then I have an excuse for not doing it.

00:20:52.280 Guys, it's not complicated.

00:20:56.160 It's not complicated.

00:20:58.580 Just do the basics, do them very well for an extended period of time and you will inevitably

00:21:05.340 win.

00:21:06.000 Totally.

00:21:09.100 Jordan Webb, back to the Facebook group.

00:21:11.780 How do you deal with trauma, specifically childhood trauma that now keeps you up at night?

00:21:16.920 Also, how do you deal with toxic family members who were abusive mentally, physically to you

00:21:22.760 as a child?

00:21:23.840 Yeah, that's tough.

00:21:24.780 Look, I've got to preface it with this.

00:21:26.720 There, there might be some, some therapy.

00:21:29.540 Kip, you and I aren't professionals on this stuff.

00:21:31.620 I would, I would see a professional.

00:21:32.900 Like I don't, there's so many guys out there that won't go see a professional, go see a

00:21:36.700 professional, go talk with somebody who's well-versed and educated and has the experience

00:21:42.120 in talking with men about the issues that they've dealt with.

00:21:45.200 I know that doesn't seem like maybe it makes you feel like you're more vulnerable or that

00:21:53.560 you're weaker somehow.

00:21:56.360 Okay, fine.

00:21:57.460 You know what?

00:21:57.980 So be it.

00:21:58.520 But I would rather be that than allow myself to be in a perpetual state of misery and contention

00:22:07.100 and depression, resentment, animosity towards another individual or my life in general.

00:22:14.080 I mean, do you, do you realize how, how much we're selling ourselves short when we give

00:22:20.140 other people so much power over us?

00:22:22.440 And sometimes the best thing that we can do is to flush that stuff from our system.

00:22:27.080 And the best way to flush all of that resentment and bitterness from your system is to talk with

00:22:32.700 somebody who is educated in the ways of how to flush that stuff from your system.

00:22:38.200 Yeah.

00:22:38.880 I would love to give a great, great advice, but that's the advice.

00:22:43.720 Go see somebody guys.

00:22:45.920 If you're dealing with depression, suicidal thoughts, if you're feeling down, if there's

00:22:51.520 some guilt or sorrow or some past trauma, mental, physical, emotional trauma, go talk

00:22:58.180 with a professional that can help you get through that stuff.

00:23:02.480 It's okay to do that.

00:23:04.500 Men, you, there's a quote and I'm going to butcher it, but it says men, I don't even know

00:23:09.020 who says it. 0.99

00:23:09.500 Men are tool wielding animals without them. 0.99

00:23:13.000 We're nothing with them.

00:23:14.040 We're everything.

00:23:14.560 You have a tool at your disposal.

00:23:16.680 That's a clinical, a medical practitioner, a psychiatrist, psychologist that you can go

00:23:22.320 talk with.

00:23:22.980 Men use tools. 0.98

00:23:24.200 Those are the tools that you have available.

00:23:26.440 Go use the tools so you can get better.

00:23:31.960 I just feel inclined, Jordan.

00:23:34.360 This isn't advice, but when I read this question, you know, when we talk about childhood trauma,

00:23:40.800 it's assumed that there's a lot of mental meaning as a child that gets raised up in that, in

00:23:49.400 those kinds of circumstances, right?

00:23:51.000 There's a lot of self-talk, probably self-reflection about your value as an individual.

00:23:57.560 And, um, and it's really hard for people to get out of toxic scenarios, especially when

00:24:04.100 they believe it, when they believe that, that it, it's a representation of who they are as

00:24:09.200 a person.

00:24:09.680 And to that, I, I strongly believe that we, um, are all divine, that we are, our capability

00:24:20.940 of who we are, um, comes from a creator, not based upon our circumstance and, and who you

00:24:29.800 are capable of being is divine and it's amazing.

00:24:34.360 And, and try not to let how you were raised set the tone for who you are or who you believe

00:24:40.840 you are as a person.

00:24:42.880 I think that's powerful, man.

00:24:44.500 I really do.

00:24:45.200 I was talking, I was talking with somebody the other day and we were, we were talking about

00:24:48.840 the show.

00:24:49.440 They asked me anything and the differences in personality between you and me.

00:24:53.180 Like you, I think in a lot of ways we're very similar.

00:24:56.620 Uh, and in a lot of ways we're, we're different.

00:24:59.260 I'm like, go see somebody.

00:25:00.200 That's the answer.

00:25:00.980 Period.

00:25:01.340 Done.

00:25:02.000 You're like, well, hold on.

00:25:02.720 Like, let's give the empathetic, compassionate version of this.

00:25:05.800 But I think you're, what you're saying is something that I didn't initially consider,

00:25:10.540 but I think you're spot on.

00:25:12.580 I think it's a hundred percent.

00:25:13.660 Right.

00:25:14.520 At least we both wear flat brim hats.

00:25:17.260 Right.

00:25:17.460 We're good looking that way anyways.

00:25:18.900 Yeah.

00:25:19.940 Did you know that we're getting, did you know that we're, uh, getting some curb brim hats?

00:25:25.340 I heard.

00:25:25.920 They're actually pretty cool.

00:25:27.440 There's four different iterations of them.

00:25:29.020 So guys, those are coming out soon.

00:25:30.360 If you're a curb brimmer, if you're one of the four or five people who wear curb brim hats, 0.88

00:25:33.620 they're coming out soon.

00:25:34.900 I anticipate fully selling five of them and it should be, uh, it should be really good.

00:25:40.420 It's going to break the internet.

00:25:41.900 By the way, I'm sorry, but Bubba, Bubba Downs posted a photo.

00:25:46.560 That's so funny, man.

00:25:47.820 Dude, that's not even, that's not even like a curb brim, that hat got ran over.

00:25:53.060 Like it's, it's, oh, wait, are you talking about, oh, you're talking about the curb.

00:25:57.700 Did you see the one where he was wearing the flat brim hat and he's like, am I doing this

00:26:00.720 right?

00:26:01.440 Oh, no, no.

00:26:02.340 I saw his, okay.

00:26:03.580 So the curb brim looks like a hamburger hat.

00:26:06.800 Yeah.

00:26:07.860 So I posted a picture because I was hunting, uh, last weekend and I was at, uh, this hunting

00:26:14.760 club and they had some, some, some orange gear for me to wear.

00:26:17.640 Cause we were pheasant hunting.

00:26:19.280 So I went out there and I put the orange vest on and they had a hat here.

00:26:21.880 They're like, here's your hat.

00:26:22.600 And it was curb brim hat.

00:26:23.660 I'm like, oh my goodness.

00:26:24.580 I'm going to wear this curb brim hat.

00:26:26.560 No photos.

00:26:27.400 Yeah.

00:26:27.720 So I put it on and no, I took a picture for Bubba specifically.

00:26:31.040 And I just like, it was pointing to my hat and I said, am I wearing this right?

00:26:33.460 It feels weird and everybody gives me a hard time, you know?

00:26:36.360 And then he posts a picture of a selfie with a flat brim hat and he's got it cocked and

00:26:40.800 canted to the side.

00:26:42.120 And he's like doing this really like weird pose.

00:26:45.300 And he's like giving a peace sign and doing duck lips.

00:26:47.480 He's like, am I doing this right?

00:26:49.720 Very funny, man.

00:26:52.220 Ah, the curb brim flat brim debate continues.

00:26:56.620 Yeah.

00:26:56.940 Well, and Bubba's take the whole curve thing to a whole new level.

00:27:00.040 I don't even know if anyone curves their brim like he does that.

00:27:02.920 That thing looks horrible.

00:27:05.540 It looks really bad.

00:27:06.900 We'll have to come up with a new name for it.

00:27:09.160 All right.

00:27:09.340 Well, I'm going to post photos of him online just to make fun of him.

00:27:12.080 Right on.

00:27:12.400 Let's do it.

00:27:12.960 All right.

00:27:13.360 Tyler Barnett.

00:27:16.740 What are you feeling?

00:27:18.140 What are your feelings about homeschooling versus public school?

00:27:22.220 You know, I, okay, look, let's be full disclosure because I'm a little fired up today.

00:27:26.620 Full disclosure.

00:27:27.200 When I was a kid, the homeschooled kids were the weirdos.

00:27:30.140 Yep.

00:27:30.500 Right.

00:27:30.980 Like heaven forbid I say that now, but that was the truth.

00:27:35.640 All the kids who were homeschooled were the weirdos.

00:27:38.100 They were socially awkward.

00:27:39.760 They were weird.

00:27:42.580 Uh, but I don't think it's like that anymore because there's so many, the problem I think

00:27:46.780 with homeschooling initially, and I don't think it's this way anymore is that the kids

00:27:50.380 were missing the social component.

00:27:52.080 To me, I look at school and look, don't get me wrong.

00:27:55.300 The, the learning aspect, you know, the basics and the foundational principles of English and

00:28:00.020 history and mathematics and these types of things and the study and the diligence and

00:28:03.960 the sacrifice and the homework and all this stuff.

00:28:05.780 I think there's value to that certainly, of course, but I think the real value in school

00:28:11.860 is held in the social interactions with other human beings.

00:28:16.240 So it's the kids on the, on the playground, working their issues out.

00:28:19.940 It's, it's them playing sports.

00:28:21.960 It's, it's them communicating with an authority figure.

00:28:24.440 It's them, uh, communicating with other kids in class and doing teamwork and working on projects

00:28:29.020 together and those social interactions are critical.

00:28:32.620 They're crucial and homeschooling 20 years ago, 30 years ago, I don't think had that.

00:28:39.260 And so these kids were sheltered and isolated in their bubbles with their moms and dads and

00:28:43.680 never had any interaction with kids.

00:28:45.180 So, but now there's so many opportunities.

00:28:48.280 So if you're going to homeschool your kid, which I actually, my wife and I are leaning

00:28:51.280 more towards every single year, they're in the public school system now.

00:28:54.800 Uh, but every single year we learn more.

00:28:57.100 We got to do this.

00:28:57.740 We got to do this.

00:28:58.340 So we, we are seriously contemplating it, uh, next year, but we also want to make sure

00:29:04.520 that they're heavily involved in sports, that friends still come over, that they still

00:29:08.400 go to friends' houses.

00:29:09.400 There's these little, um, uh, I think they're like a co-op homeschooling thing where one

00:29:14.700 parent will teach and have the kids over for a few hours and another, another parent will

00:29:18.280 teach and have the kids over the next week.

00:29:20.020 And so there's a lot of cool little opportunities that create the social dynamic that is much

00:29:24.800 needed in a young person's life.

00:29:26.520 But I think homeschooling is a very, very viable route that every parent ought to consider

00:29:32.580 at least and have a discussion about.

00:29:34.940 What's your guys' motivation around considering the homeschooling? 0.99

00:29:38.360 I just, I mean, there's little kids at school who are assholes, frankly. 0.99

00:29:41.820 Uh, and they learned some of the garbage and nonsense and filth that they learn from other 1.00

00:29:46.840 kids who are learning that stuff from these parents who have no clue about life and are 0.64

00:29:51.900 operating their lives in a way that I feel is, is, is right and accurate.

00:29:56.860 And the way that I want my kids to be exposed to is, is sometimes utterly disgusting.

00:30:02.560 Yeah.

00:30:03.180 Um, I don't have so much of a problem with the school system itself because we live in a pretty

00:30:08.360 conservative area.

00:30:09.100 I'm conservative.

00:30:09.800 Okay.

00:30:09.980 Everybody knows I'm, I'm conservative by nature with regards to my politics.

00:30:14.060 Yeah.

00:30:14.320 Weird shocker.

00:30:16.880 Um, and, and most people in this little community of ours are very conservative in nature.

00:30:21.860 We have a good relationship.

00:30:23.300 Uh, I actually serve with the elementary school, uh, uh, principal.

00:30:27.460 Um, I serve with him with some young men in the community.

00:30:29.920 So him and I have a great relationship and we know their teachers and we have their, their

00:30:34.140 phone numbers and we text their teachers and things like that.

00:30:36.560 So I don't feel so bad about that.

00:30:40.460 Um, but there's just weird little things like with other kids the other day, my kid came

00:30:43.900 home, my oldest son, he came home and he said, Hey, I saw a weird commercial.

00:30:47.760 We were watching a, some sort of education, something on YouTube.

00:30:51.200 And it went to a commercial and the commercial was about, um, transgenderism.

00:30:58.380 And I'm like, what?

00:31:00.420 Like what?

00:31:00.940 You're listening to that in school.

00:31:02.320 They're like, yeah, it was like a commercial on YouTube.

00:31:03.920 I'm like, well, I don't want you listening to YouTube at school anyways.

00:31:06.760 I don't even let you watch YouTube at home.

00:31:09.820 Uh, and, and so I, you know, I was upset about that.

00:31:13.020 And so we talked to the teacher.

00:31:14.400 She's like, yeah, we have this approved channel on YouTube that we watch and it's filtered

00:31:19.260 and that, that came on and I heard and ran and turned it off.

00:31:22.700 And so, you know, there's little things like that, that I'm just not okay with.

00:31:26.080 I'm not comfortable with.

00:31:27.300 And those are draws for homeschool for me, but it's hard because at the same time you want

00:31:32.480 your kids exposed to all sorts of things.

00:31:35.700 And then you want to help give them the ability to think for themselves.

00:31:41.620 And if you just shelter them and bubble them, I don't think that's effective either.

00:31:44.880 So there's like this happy medium, right?

00:31:46.360 The dichotomy of trying to figure out how do you provide the foundational knowledge and

00:31:52.040 principles that you adhere to?

00:31:53.300 And then how do you expose them to other, other issues?

00:31:56.940 Like when I see my, my son, you know, when he sees somebody smoking, for example, he's

00:32:00.420 like, dad, they're smoking.

00:32:01.980 Yeah.

00:32:02.600 And you know what?

00:32:03.160 That's, and I tell him, I said, I don't think that's a good decision.

00:32:06.940 That doesn't make them a bad person.

00:32:08.380 I just don't think it's a good decision for their life.

00:32:10.760 What do you think?

00:32:11.700 He's like, yeah, I don't either.

00:32:13.000 And I said, but remember it's, it's their choice, right?

00:32:15.640 We have a choice.

00:32:16.480 You have a choice.

00:32:17.400 I have a choice.

00:32:18.520 They have a choice.

00:32:19.440 And if that's how they choose to live their life, then ultimately that's their choice.

00:32:23.180 Now it doesn't make them a bad person.

00:32:24.720 It just means they make different choices than maybe what you make.

00:32:27.600 So I think it's okay to expose them to some degree to some of these outside factors so

00:32:31.400 that you can have real conversations with your kids.

00:32:33.760 Yeah.

00:32:34.380 I wonder how much of that depends on the kid too, where, you know, certain kids you're

00:32:37.940 like, yeah, he's going to be fine in the public school system.

00:32:40.880 Another kid you're like, eh, you know what?

00:32:42.460 Maybe we'll homeschool him.

00:32:43.560 Yeah.

00:32:43.740 I mean, my oldest is really impressionable because he wants to be liked.

00:32:46.600 So my greatest fear with him is that his buddies, as he gets older, his buddies will, you know, 0.98

00:32:51.020 want to be at a party or want to steal something or do something stupid. 0.94

00:32:53.940 And he'll want to be approved of so much that he'll just go along with something that he 0.99

00:32:59.100 knows is wrong.

00:33:00.180 I don't have that fear at all with my, with my second son.

00:33:03.580 In fact, my greatest fear with my second son is he'll be the ringleader of that thing.

00:33:08.240 So yeah, I mean, every kid is so different, you know, it's, it's, it's crazy.

00:33:12.680 It's tough.

00:33:13.460 It's rewarding, but it's challenging.

00:33:15.680 Cool.

00:33:16.040 Good question, Tyler.

00:33:17.500 I liked it.

00:33:17.860 That's a good question.

00:33:18.800 Yeah.

00:33:19.100 Very viable.

00:33:19.740 I would say to like the, if I were to wrap it all up, I think homeschooling is a very

00:33:22.820 viable, significantly more so than one is what it was 20 years ago.

00:33:26.600 Yeah.

00:33:27.060 And if you were, it's funny, right?

00:33:29.120 Because I'm, I, I totally agree with you.

00:33:31.580 Everything you're saying, I'm like, yeah, spot on.

00:33:33.420 And then, and then I think, oh, I'm wondering how much more passionate about homeschooling you

00:33:38.840 would be if you lived to like in California, for instance.

00:33:41.640 For sure.

00:33:42.260 I think it greatly depends on your climate.

00:33:44.120 Yeah, I would, and well, I don't know where I want to, I just wouldn't live in California,

00:33:50.960 number one.

00:33:51.500 But if I did, then yeah, homeschooling would be a lot more feasible and reasonable for

00:33:58.600 us to, to consider.

00:33:59.780 For sure.

00:34:00.260 And, and you California guys, we're not hating on you.

00:34:02.640 I just, I'm just kidding.

00:34:03.740 Yeah, everyone sees it different, right?

00:34:06.460 And we have different values and we have to identify what's best for our families.

00:34:10.100 And, and to be frank, I know multiple families that have moved to Utah from California strictly

00:34:16.400 because of the school system.

00:34:18.160 Yeah.

00:34:18.640 Like that was the reason for brutal, brutal.

00:34:20.840 And I, and I like a small town.

00:34:22.920 There's a lot of things about Utah that I really, that I love.

00:34:26.480 Um, and the political and religious climate is a big part of that for me.

00:34:33.120 All right.

00:34:33.780 Next question.

00:34:34.760 Les Hine, Hine, maybe post-divorce healing for men.

00:34:39.660 My marriage of 23 years may be ending soon, not by my choosing.

00:34:44.620 And I'm asking for advice and guidance.

00:34:47.220 Uh, we did a podcast, uh, man, we've done so many podcasts on this subject.

00:34:54.020 I mean, we really have, I feel like sometimes I feel like I'm beating a dead horse on this

00:34:57.460 thing, but guys keep asking these questions.

00:34:59.880 So I know, I know it is tough.

00:35:01.940 You know, I've been through a separation, not a divorce, but a separation.

00:35:04.540 I know how challenging and difficult it can be.

00:35:06.700 Uh, I think you got to find some new hobbies.

00:35:08.880 You know what?

00:35:09.540 If you, if you go to our website and go to fix your marriage by like search in the search

00:35:15.480 bar, fix yourself by fixing your marriage, or excuse me, fix, man, fix your marriage

00:35:21.420 by fixing yourself.

00:35:22.460 There we go.

00:35:23.360 And the other one is fix yourself first.

00:35:25.340 There's some very actionable items in there.

00:35:27.200 Some of which are finding a hobby, something that you engage in, uh, learn a new skill,

00:35:33.260 find some new friends, uh, gain a promotion, go exercise.

00:35:38.500 I mean, there's so many things that you can do.

00:35:40.300 And most, if not all of them are centered around yourself.

00:35:43.080 Look at this time.

00:35:44.740 And I know it's hard.

00:35:45.920 I know it's challenging.

00:35:47.060 I know it's hard to get out of the funk, but look at this time in your life as an opportunity.

00:35:52.840 And I know it's really hard to think of it that way, but think of it as an opportunity

00:35:57.580 to make yourself the project.

00:36:00.580 And what I mean is that I think men thrive, thrive on having something to do.

00:36:06.100 When I was hunting this last weekend, uh, we'd go hunt for two or three hours in the morning.

00:36:10.300 And then we'd hunt two or three hours in the evening hours.

00:36:13.420 And then we had all day for really, we didn't have anything planned.

00:36:17.300 And the guys that were with, they said, Hey, we got to work.

00:36:19.320 We got to do this and this and this, would you like to come?

00:36:21.040 And man, I jumped at that opportunity because I want a project.

00:36:24.700 I think men, we are inherently designed to work and to labor and to look for problems.

00:36:31.420 So take this moment in your life and use it as an opportunity to make yourself a project.

00:36:38.540 How can you remake the man that you are physically, mentally, intellectually, professionally,

00:36:44.880 like what is every facet of your life that you can improve and then find the tactics that

00:36:49.760 are going to make you a better individual.

00:36:51.120 And when you consume yourself with how can I get my fitness in check and how can I lose

00:36:55.280 30 pounds and how can I run this marathon and what, what skill do I need to develop at

00:36:59.540 work to get the promotion and how can I start a business?

00:37:02.140 And you start looking at all of these things from the mirror and the lens of how you can

00:37:07.980 fix yourself.

00:37:10.320 I think a lot of the things start to line up and take care of themselves.

00:37:13.660 I really do.

00:37:15.520 Yeah.

00:37:16.340 I mean, that's what say that's ultimately what saved my marriage.

00:37:18.640 And I'm not saying that I did it or even you should do it to salvage your marriage.

00:37:22.480 I'm saying do it for you and things have a way of working out, whether that's reconciling

00:37:27.880 with your wife or not reconciling and being a great catch for the next woman to come into 1.00

00:37:32.860 your life, making yourself the project is always, always the right thing to do.

00:37:39.260 Yeah.

00:37:39.800 And we don't have much info less, but in your question, you said not by my choosing, I would

00:37:47.940 if you're not already, and you may already be doing this, but if you haven't already own

00:37:52.880 it, own the fact that you're getting divorced and it is your choosing.

00:37:57.160 Now you may not have decided, uh, you know, to, uh, you know, answered a question of, do

00:38:03.320 you want a divorce?

00:38:03.900 And you said yes, but you don't think your actions played a part.

00:38:08.260 And even if you don't think your actions did play a part, figure out how they did.

00:38:12.820 Well, and that's what it is.

00:38:14.040 Making yourself a project, right?

00:38:15.220 It's fixing your stuff, fix yourself.

00:38:17.720 And that's the only way you're going to make sure that you're not going to divorce the

00:38:20.320 second time.

00:38:20.940 Right.

00:38:21.200 Is figure out what you did wrong in this marriage, figure out how you could have been a better

00:38:25.760 husband and, and yeah.

00:38:27.500 And like what Ryan said, work on yourself.

00:38:29.120 So then that way, the next time you, you meet the next woman that you're, you have your 0.92

00:38:34.600 a game, you're the man, you're, you're the perfect husband.

00:38:38.640 You know, it's always really learned through this experience.

00:38:41.000 Sorry, Kip.

00:38:41.520 I didn't mean to interrupt you.

00:38:42.340 Keep going.

00:38:42.860 No, you're fine.

00:38:43.280 No, no, you're fine.

00:38:43.900 That's all I was going to say.

00:38:44.600 Okay.

00:38:44.820 Uh, you know, what's really interesting is I'll hear a lot of guys will say, Oh, my

00:38:49.420 wife, you know, like she's crazy or she's doing this or she's doing that. 1.00

00:38:53.100 And, and it's her fault. 0.99

00:38:54.600 It's her problem.

00:38:55.200 Like, man, if you were, if you were half the man that you had the ability to become, you

00:39:00.280 would be repulsed by a woman who was like that. 0.89

00:39:03.600 Yeah.

00:39:04.040 And I know that's probably going to make people's heads explode and spin and, well, not my fault.

00:39:09.280 Look, if you look here, let me, let's just put it really frankly.

00:39:13.380 A very fit individual, a man or a woman, doesn't matter. 0.99

00:39:18.200 A very fit individual is going to be very unlikely to be attracted to a fat person.

00:39:26.420 A human being with an abundance mindset is going, it's going to be very unlikely that

00:39:33.520 at that individual will be attracted to somebody with a scarcity mindset.

00:39:38.220 Somebody who is extremely wealthy is probably not going to be attracted to somebody who's

00:39:44.720 broke.

00:39:46.200 And people say, well, that's not fair.

00:39:47.660 Like you can't judge by that stuff.

00:39:49.000 I don't care if it's fair or not.

00:39:50.180 It's the truth.

00:39:51.160 You are going to attract who you are.

00:39:53.280 So if you've attracted somebody into your life who isn't up to par, maybe that's a reflection

00:40:01.840 of yourself.

00:40:04.100 So why don't you fix and worry about improving yourself and see if you can help that individual

00:40:09.540 change through your influence.

00:40:10.920 That's one of the greatest lessons I learned in my marriage.

00:40:15.800 Whenever I was unhappy with what my wife was doing or what she wasn't doing, I found that

00:40:20.780 that was a reflection of me more so than it was indicative of her and who she was.

00:40:26.080 So go to work on yourself.

00:40:28.060 Everything else will start to fall in line.

00:40:32.700 Devin Hesketh.

00:40:33.900 You don't even want to say anything to that?

00:40:36.060 Yeah, it was good.

00:40:37.160 What do I say?

00:40:38.020 It was so good.

00:40:38.720 I couldn't even say anything and I'm trying not to do my filler things between questions

00:40:43.120 like, I like that.

00:40:44.300 Good job.

00:40:45.200 Or I don't know.

00:40:46.240 I like, I like when you say those things.

00:40:47.860 I'm trying to be quiet.

00:40:48.240 Oh, okay.

00:40:48.760 Well, you're amazing, Ryan. 0.98

00:40:50.440 And darn it. 0.90

00:40:51.320 People love you. 0.98

00:40:52.260 Thank you.

00:40:53.660 Perfect.

00:40:54.400 You earned your paycheck.

00:40:55.700 This lesson, this podcast, this podcast.

00:40:59.520 All right.

00:41:00.660 So yeah.

00:41:01.700 What do I say?

00:41:02.380 All right.

00:41:02.760 Devin Hesketh.

00:41:04.320 I'm trying to learn to prioritize my time better.

00:41:06.700 How are some good ways that I can build schedules, stay disciplined and following them without

00:41:11.260 being easily distracted in an environment that changes a lot?

00:41:14.760 Book recommendations.

00:41:18.000 Well, set some boundaries, right?

00:41:20.860 Stop being distracted.

00:41:22.100 That's a choice.

00:41:22.700 You're choosing to be distracted by all your stuff.

00:41:25.860 Like I look at my desk right here and I've got a couple little items of mail.

00:41:30.080 I got a catalog here.

00:41:31.480 I've got a couple of books.

00:41:32.440 I've got a thank you card.

00:41:33.240 I've got all this stuff on here.

00:41:34.240 And you know what?

00:41:34.720 The more stuff I have on my desk, the more distracted I am.

00:41:38.440 Obviously.

00:41:39.440 So how can I be less distracted? 1.00

00:41:41.460 Get rid of all the shit. 0.99

00:41:43.580 And what's sitting before me, my computer. 1.00

00:41:46.840 That's it.

00:41:47.300 So I got to work.

00:41:49.280 So eliminate the distractions.

00:41:51.420 The same thing in the gym.

00:41:52.720 You go into one of these global gyms, you got 2000 pieces of equipment.

00:41:56.060 You're like, what the hell should I do?

00:41:57.440 I don't know.

00:41:57.860 Focus on one of them.

00:41:59.620 You don't need every little gidget and gizmo that ever was made by some person who thought

00:42:06.360 they had the next greatest idea of how to get into shape.

00:42:10.780 Eliminate it.

00:42:11.440 Find the thing that's going to produce the biggest result and get rid of everything else.

00:42:15.980 And we do this by creating healthy boundaries.

00:42:20.080 What are your boundaries?

00:42:21.800 What are your lines?

00:42:23.000 What are the lines that people in your business won't cross?

00:42:25.320 What are the lines in your family that your family members won't cross?

00:42:28.080 You start writing these things down and documenting these things and then not allowing yourself

00:42:32.920 or other people to cross these boundaries.

00:42:35.660 You'll find yourself significantly more effective.

00:42:38.360 My look, I've had plenty of conversations with my wife about taking the trash out in the 0.98

00:42:42.480 middle of the day.

00:42:43.040 She can you take the trash out or can you do this? 1.00

00:42:45.140 No.

00:42:46.940 Oh, but I really need.

00:42:48.060 Okay, good.

00:42:48.940 I'll do it when I'm off of work because the boundary is, and you and I have talked about

00:42:52.820 this, that I work from, you know, nine, nine to five.

00:42:57.100 So I can help you before or after not during, not in the middle.

00:43:01.200 Hey, Ryan, will you watch the kids while I go run this errand?

00:43:03.540 No, I'm, I'm working.

00:43:06.900 And people will hear that and they'll be like, oh, that's so, that's so harsh, Ryan.

00:43:09.800 That's so harsh.

00:43:10.440 It's not harsh because her and I have talked about it.

00:43:13.000 We've agreed to it.

00:43:14.220 It's not like I'm springing some unknown expectation on her.

00:43:17.440 We've agreed upon these expectations.

00:43:20.320 And so when we have, I have these boundaries, I've established what they are.

00:43:23.480 I've identified them.

00:43:24.380 I've communicated them with the people who will be impacted by those decisions and then

00:43:29.760 uphold those decisions.

00:43:31.000 You'll be less likely to be distracted.

00:43:33.220 You'll be more focused and you'll be able to accomplish significantly more than if you

00:43:36.960 were scatterbrained all over the place.

00:43:38.380 Totally.

00:43:42.520 And it's great because you're, you're able to pull off those boundaries with your wife

00:43:46.560 because you do take out the trash when you're done.

00:43:49.940 Right.

00:43:50.280 Because the boundaries aren't just in my business.

00:43:52.520 The boundaries for my family are like last night we went to, uh, there in, in the community,

00:43:57.420 there's this little, they call it sleepy hollow.

00:43:59.000 It's a little Halloween village, a little fall Halloween village.

00:44:02.200 I got my phone out only to take pictures of the kids, but I wasn't on their Facebooking

00:44:07.300 or texting or messaging or emailing because the boundary is that I'm at home doing home

00:44:11.460 and family stuff.

00:44:12.360 So she trusts me.

00:44:14.620 She believes in my word because I uphold my word both ways, business and personally.

00:44:20.300 You got to do it both ways.

00:44:22.360 What are some book recommendations you have for Devin here?

00:44:25.460 The one thing by Gary Keller is really good.

00:44:27.940 Actually, that's, that's, that's the one book I'd recommend.

00:44:31.120 Just read that.

00:44:32.800 He should rename it.

00:44:33.920 The one book, the one book, the one thing.

00:44:35.900 Yeah.

00:44:36.140 Yeah.

00:44:36.380 It's, it's a great book.

00:44:37.400 You've read that one too, Kip, haven't you?

00:44:38.840 Yeah.

00:44:39.160 Yeah.

00:44:39.340 It's a great book.

00:44:39.900 It's great.

00:44:41.100 Read that one.

00:44:41.980 Then do it.

00:44:42.660 Apply.

00:44:43.580 Yeah.

00:44:44.340 Essentialism, believe it or not.

00:44:45.480 Yeah.

00:44:45.680 It's another good book.

00:44:46.180 Kind of place into the same.

00:44:47.120 Yeah.

00:44:47.480 Place in the same area.

00:44:48.220 I've had Greg on the, uh, on the podcast.

00:44:50.100 In fact, another good book, but I'm, I'm hesitant to give a bunch of book recommendations

00:44:54.360 to a guy that's like, Hey, I need to eliminate distractions.

00:44:58.160 Just read 40 books.

00:44:59.540 Right.

00:45:00.060 Read all of these.

00:45:00.960 And then figure out which one's best.

00:45:02.640 No, just read those two.

00:45:03.820 You'll be fine.

00:45:05.040 Cool.

00:45:05.960 All right.

00:45:06.360 Tyler cook.

00:45:07.000 My son is two months old.

00:45:09.040 How do you maintain your sanity of not sleeping at night when working all day, then training

00:45:14.620 all night?

00:45:17.380 Um, I don't, I don't have that issue.

00:45:19.440 My kids sleep.

00:45:20.720 Like I, I don't know if I'm fortunate or if my wife's just running them throughout the 0.65

00:45:25.160 day, but man, my, my kids sleep.

00:45:27.500 I will say, so I've got two older kids.

00:45:29.680 They sleep.

00:45:30.300 No big deal.

00:45:31.160 I've got two younger kids, a five and a two year old.

00:45:33.060 My five year old wakes up occasionally.

00:45:35.300 Cause maybe she has a bad dream or something.

00:45:37.240 My wife and I, it's my responsibility to take care of her. 0.95

00:45:39.900 So if she's crying, I'll go in there and sing her a song or something or, you know, whatever,

00:45:44.240 just get her back to sleep. 0.99

00:45:45.180 And then, uh, our two year old, that's he's, he's my wife.

00:45:49.240 So when he wakes up, she has to go do that.

00:45:51.400 Like, that's just what we have worked out.

00:45:53.640 Um, I, I don't know.

00:45:55.920 I don't, I don't, I get my sleep, man.

00:45:58.060 I need my sleep.

00:45:59.320 I have a one week year old.

00:46:00.740 Yeah.

00:46:00.940 You're, you're similar to that.

00:46:02.480 Yeah.

00:46:03.260 What do you got?

00:46:04.480 Well, it's funny.

00:46:06.600 Um, you do what Ryan is saying on the question before about establishing boundaries.

00:46:13.860 Uh, here's the reality.

00:46:15.020 You have two adults that could potentially deal with a kid staying up.

00:46:19.240 All night, right.

00:46:20.520 And killing your sleep.

00:46:21.820 I think instead of, cause trust me, this has been on my mind.

00:46:26.100 Yeah, because over the last week I'm like, oh man, I, I'm struggling getting to the gym

00:46:31.000 in the morning.

00:46:31.520 Like I feel exhausted.

00:46:33.780 And, uh, and I really think at the root of it is Asia and I, my wife, uh, need to do a

00:46:40.420 better job in dividing and conquering and establishing boundaries and our strategy on how to do this.

00:46:46.640 For instance, by default day one and two, we are both by the baby.

00:46:52.360 Well, when the baby gets up, I wake up, she wakes up, she helps the baby.

00:46:57.060 And I'm like, uh, honey, do you need anything?

00:46:59.060 No, I'm okay.

00:46:59.800 All right.

00:47:00.220 Do you, you know, so I'm up anyway.

00:47:02.320 Now, is there value in me being up?

00:47:05.040 No, no, not a thing.

00:47:07.280 Yeah.

00:47:07.720 Most of the time, because she's breastfeeding, I'm providing no value. 1.00

00:47:11.940 Go back to sleep.

00:47:13.280 Yeah.

00:47:13.560 So why am I getting up?

00:47:15.340 Well, because I feel bad, right?

00:47:16.600 Like there's a little bit of a social pressure here.

00:47:19.060 Like, man, you know, she's, she's losing all this sleep all by herself. 0.99

00:47:22.800 I don't want to be an ass. 0.99

00:47:23.840 Well, guess what I can do? 0.99

00:47:24.740 I can communicate that.

00:47:26.060 I can say, okay, honey, since you're breastfeeding, there's not much I can do. 1.00

00:47:30.820 Do you care if I sleep in the other room so I can get shut eye?

00:47:33.980 And then if you need me to like run to the store and grab something, or I don't know,

00:47:38.920 there's a blowout in the diaper or whatever, then call me out, call me in on those scenarios

00:47:43.800 and then I'll help.

00:47:44.740 Right.

00:47:45.020 And then I'll watch the baby from these hours so you can sleep.

00:47:49.020 Like, I really think it comes down to strategy and then figuring that out versus just letting

00:47:54.180 it just naturally happen the way it's going to happen.

00:47:56.240 And communication.

00:47:57.540 Exactly.

00:47:58.100 Right.

00:47:58.320 Because what's going to happen is it.

00:48:00.060 And yeah, good point.

00:48:01.760 Right.

00:48:02.040 Imagine that same scenario.

00:48:03.440 And I don't communicate that to my wife.

00:48:05.460 And instead I just bell on her and sleep in the other room.

00:48:08.940 Yeah.

00:48:09.180 She's going to be pissed. 1.00

00:48:09.920 I'm not going to work out well either.

00:48:10.780 Yeah.

00:48:10.960 She's going to be completely pissed. 1.00

00:48:12.440 So I think it's that communication boundaries come up with a strategy.

00:48:16.360 So you both support each other.

00:48:18.080 And I, I really do think it's possible.

00:48:20.280 I hope it's possible, Tyler.

00:48:21.720 I hope.

00:48:22.360 Well, and, and look, let's look at it this way too, Kip.

00:48:24.660 It may not be possible to, to the degree that you would like, because it's the season

00:48:29.160 that you're in.

00:48:29.640 Like deal with it, bear down for a couple of months and deal with it.

00:48:34.760 Cause such as life, you decided to have kids and having kids is hard, it's rewarding, but

00:48:38.920 it's also hard.

00:48:39.540 So, so what I would say to that is just understand that there's seasons to things, but don't

00:48:43.980 extend the season.

00:48:44.960 And what I mean is that don't make my wife, Oh, bless her heart.

00:48:51.240 She's notorious for this. 1.00

00:48:52.300 She makes her life harder than she needs to. 1.00

00:48:54.080 I swear.

00:48:54.540 It's like, she just likes to make it more challenging than it needs to be. 0.98

00:48:58.880 I think two years old is probably appropriate where a kid can cry it out for a little bit.

00:49:04.120 Yeah.

00:49:04.540 Cause you know what?

00:49:05.380 He might just go back to sleep on his own.

00:49:07.480 And if it keeps going and keeps going, but extend that time out, like don't, don't extend

00:49:11.620 your season longer than it has to be like potty training. 1.00

00:49:15.280 You know, that's such a pain in the ass, literally a pain in the ass. 1.00

00:49:19.380 It's like, don't extend that out. 1.00

00:49:21.720 Get it done.

00:49:22.340 Get it taken care of.

00:49:23.220 It's going to suck for a little while.

00:49:24.420 Just get it done.

00:49:25.260 So it's done.

00:49:25.860 And then you don't have to worry about it.

00:49:27.260 But I swear to some people just love to extend their problems and makes it make it harder

00:49:31.380 on themselves.

00:49:32.000 It actually needs to be.

00:49:32.980 It's crazy.

00:49:34.360 What else?

00:49:34.840 Although I'm curious, I'm curious about Tyler's.

00:49:37.420 He says then training all night.

00:49:40.140 Is it what he, I try, are you doing jujitsu all night?

00:49:42.440 That's why you're not getting any sleep.

00:49:44.180 Right.

00:49:44.560 That's a boundary too.

00:49:45.580 Look, I know guys who are jacked and they spend five hours a day in the gym.

00:49:49.760 Like, well, cool.

00:49:50.520 Great physique, but everything else is falling apart.

00:49:53.680 So have some boundaries.

00:49:55.820 I don't think that he literally means all night, but maybe, maybe he scales back to three

00:50:02.080 nights a week because that's what has to be done for the next two months.

00:50:04.840 Yeah.

00:50:05.160 And to your point for the season, maybe it's pushups on the carpet and sit-ups or crunches

00:50:10.020 or something else, right?

00:50:11.060 Right.

00:50:11.680 Or a walk with the family or whatever.

00:50:13.840 Just make it work.

00:50:15.440 Cool.

00:50:16.220 All right.

00:50:16.540 Next question, Evan Vander, Vander, Vander, turn, turn, tune.

00:50:22.180 Yes.

00:50:23.280 Yeah.

00:50:23.600 I can't even see the questions today.

00:50:25.720 So.

00:50:26.040 Vanden, torn.

00:50:26.420 Oh yeah.

00:50:26.840 I can't help you.

00:50:27.420 Sorry.

00:50:27.940 I'm on my own.

00:50:28.740 All right.

00:50:29.000 Here you go, Evan.

00:50:29.660 I'm looking to improve my sexual wellness and overall physical appearance, foods to eat

00:50:34.880 specifically, and what kind of workouts to achieve and overall toned body with heavy

00:50:40.100 fat loss.

00:50:40.980 Well, I think we already talked about this.

00:50:43.040 Shredded. 0.96

00:50:44.300 Just, I mean, you know what to eat, right?

00:50:49.300 Like, I mean, do people really not know?

00:50:52.120 Yeah.

00:50:52.600 You think Evan's overcomplicating it?

00:50:54.340 Yes.

00:50:54.840 Like there's, I do.

00:50:55.840 There's some special food.

00:50:57.260 Unless he's going to do like a, like a, a body building or like a fist, a physique contest

00:51:03.740 or something.

00:51:04.580 Come on.

00:51:05.340 You know what to eat.

00:51:06.940 Just eat healthy, eat real foods, eat foods.

00:51:10.440 I liked this tactic.

00:51:11.600 Eat foods with only one ingredient.

00:51:14.340 Don't eat fake food.

00:51:15.660 Don't eat processed food, eat fruit, vegetables, meat, drink a lot of water.

00:51:19.300 Um, that's it.

00:51:24.960 Like there's right.

00:51:26.600 Like, isn't that it?

00:51:28.680 Yeah.

00:51:29.200 And time just time.

00:51:31.100 Of course.

00:51:31.440 And it's, it doesn't.

00:51:32.400 Yeah.

00:51:32.740 But we all know now, as far as exercise goes, yeah.

00:51:36.520 Exercise, do it all lift, lift heavy, go run, do some pushups, stay active, do it all.

00:51:45.860 Like it'll all help.

00:51:47.620 Just, just do it all.

00:51:49.300 Yeah.

00:51:49.840 I mean, Evan, and just so you don't feel beat up, like the reality of it is this is everybody's

00:51:55.680 story, right?

00:51:56.760 Everyone, like so many people do this.

00:51:58.920 Oh, I'm doing this workout three weeks in.

00:52:01.260 Oh, it's not working.

00:52:02.080 Maybe I need to change my diet or like there's some, guess what it is most of the time.

00:52:07.120 It's just time.

00:52:07.940 You got to give it time.

00:52:09.340 Yeah.

00:52:09.840 Like you got it, like figure out whatever plan it is.

00:52:12.920 And, and guess what?

00:52:14.060 The plan that you pick is not going to be perfect, but guess what?

00:52:17.320 It's a plan.

00:52:18.340 Give it the 12 weeks and see it through a hundred percent.

00:52:22.140 Look, here's the deal.

00:52:24.120 You'll know the results, right?

00:52:25.420 Yeah.

00:52:25.580 It's, it's exactly right.

00:52:26.400 Here's the deal.

00:52:28.440 Fitness people and trainers would be out of work if you just did what they told you to

00:52:32.460 do.

00:52:32.660 We here at the order of man podcast would be out of work.

00:52:38.840 If everybody just follow the advice that we gave, but they don't and they won't.

00:52:46.540 That's why this will always be a business.

00:52:49.180 That's why fitness professionals will always exist.

00:52:52.760 I, I once her a chiropractor, he was a friend of mine and he said, Hey, if I, I just, I could

00:52:56.920 just give you, I'm just going to give you like three to four stretches that if you do every 0.99

00:53:01.440 single day, barring some sort of emergency or, or, or accident that you have will keep

00:53:07.620 you from ever needing to see me again.

00:53:09.100 If you do this every single day.

00:53:10.460 And I said, well, why would you show that to anybody?

00:53:12.280 He's like, it doesn't matter whether or not I show it to him.

00:53:14.680 They're not going to do it.

00:53:15.880 So it doesn't matter if I show it or not.

00:53:17.960 So he showed me the four stretches to do every morning.

00:53:20.040 And guess what?

00:53:20.700 I don't do any of them.

00:53:24.800 Just go do it and do it.

00:53:27.660 Like you said, Kip, for, for, for four months, three, four months, and you'll

00:53:31.400 see, Oh, I look pretty good naked.

00:53:33.800 And my wife is attracted to me or these girls are attracted to me because I look at my physique. 0.59

00:53:37.820 I look good.

00:53:38.940 And then keep doing it and keep doing it and keep doing it.

00:53:41.160 And you'll be fine.

00:53:42.460 You know what to do.

00:53:43.540 Yeah.

00:53:43.920 And Evan, that's what Jocko was talking about.

00:53:45.520 He says, get some, by the way.

00:53:47.200 That's exactly what he's talking about.

00:53:49.760 How could you interpret that any other way?

00:53:53.840 What else?

00:53:54.960 Jocko's going to beat me up if he sees me.

00:53:56.600 All right.

00:53:57.240 Andrew Lennert's a question about everyday carry.

00:54:00.420 Do you, everyday carry more than just a firearm?

00:54:04.080 How and why do you carry the things you do?

00:54:07.120 I care.

00:54:07.620 So what I carry is my keys, my wallet, my phone, my beard comb, and my Glock 43.

00:54:17.740 That's it.

00:54:18.740 I have a little knife on my key chain too.

00:54:21.360 That's all.

00:54:21.800 I love, I love that there's the beard comb in there.

00:54:24.220 It's classic.

00:54:25.100 You gotta have it, man.

00:54:26.080 No, I, I, it's fun.

00:54:27.700 I think we talked about this a couple of weeks ago.

00:54:29.160 There's a bunch of guys out there who are like, you, you do like a, what they call a

00:54:32.280 quote unquote pocket dump.

00:54:33.980 It's like, what kind of pockets are you wearing?

00:54:37.340 Like, do you have, like, are you wearing MC hammer pants to carry all that stuff around?

00:54:42.160 Like, that's funny.

00:54:42.880 Like, get real.

00:54:43.480 You don't need a lot.

00:54:45.320 Okay.

00:54:46.360 Now I will say this.

00:54:47.440 I have a little bag in my truck.

00:54:49.760 I don't carry it with me, but it's in my truck.

00:54:51.760 It's got some basic, basic medical supplies.

00:54:54.260 Like a bug out?

00:54:55.180 A little bit.

00:54:55.960 Not even so much of a bug out.

00:54:57.260 It's just got just like it, like just some things that I may face.

00:55:00.900 It's got a little, uh, emergency.

00:55:02.500 What are those?

00:55:02.900 Like, uh, foil blankets.

00:55:04.140 Uh, it's got, I got a little bit of cash in there.

00:55:06.840 I've got a multi-tool in there.

00:55:08.240 I've just got some things, some odds and ends that I may need.

00:55:12.620 Should I run into a disaster or some sort of thing?

00:55:16.960 So I have that in my truck.

00:55:19.000 Um, but other than that, I don't wear MC hammer pants or cargo pants and load them to the brim.

00:55:25.380 And it's so funny.

00:55:27.720 Like these guys everyday carries and what they put on their pit.

00:55:31.120 I'm like, you don't carry that stuff around.

00:55:33.220 So I carry my little, my Glock 43, my beard comb, my, my wallet, my phone, and my keys with a little small knife on there.

00:55:42.000 That's it.

00:55:42.560 Nice.

00:55:42.980 And the 43 is a nine, nine millimeter.

00:55:45.900 Cool.

00:55:46.920 Single.

00:55:47.520 That's a single, single stack.

00:55:49.480 Yeah.

00:55:49.700 So it doesn't carry many rounds.

00:55:51.180 You know, it's only got six rounds.

00:55:53.020 Um, I guess you can change, you know, chamber one, but.

00:55:55.920 Uh, so you better be accurate, but it's what I need or what I have.

00:56:01.140 Copy.

00:56:01.700 You know, it's, uh, this is advice for you, Ryan.

00:56:05.480 I'm just joking.

00:56:06.740 Uh, what do you mean brother?

00:56:08.140 Well, it's really fun.

00:56:09.200 Oh, well you're going to have one of those foil blankets.

00:56:11.300 Yes.

00:56:11.520 Right.

00:56:12.680 And, uh, I have an older brother that's somewhat of a survivalist, right?

00:56:16.880 He loves kind of roughing it.

00:56:18.680 Yeah.

00:56:19.340 And, uh, he went with boy Scouts to go backpacking and he thought, you know what?

00:56:23.480 I'm going to just use that emergency blanket.

00:56:25.900 Right.

00:56:26.380 I've never forced myself to use one.

00:56:27.860 I'm just going to use it.

00:56:29.020 And, uh, gets up in the mountains down there by St. George, by the way.

00:56:32.820 Yeah.

00:56:33.220 And, uh, they ended up getting some snow.

00:56:35.400 Oh, geez.

00:56:36.480 While they're camping.

00:56:37.200 And he, he, he rips out that little emergency blanket and it's like four feet by like three

00:56:42.800 feet.

00:56:43.400 Like it curls up in a ball.

00:56:45.340 Yeah.

00:56:45.720 Yeah.

00:56:45.900 Like it's covered like half his leg, you know?

00:56:48.520 And he was like, I thought they were bigger.

00:56:52.840 So it's super funny.

00:56:54.240 Yeah. 0.99

00:56:54.500 Look, I mean, you don't need to carry everything, but also don't be stupid. 0.99

00:56:59.740 You know, like, like, like carry, like carry what you need. 0.98

00:57:03.800 Now I, I got to give him credit.

00:57:05.400 He's like, I'm going to try something new and he, and this is his thing for sure.

00:57:08.420 But like, don't, don't make it harder than it has to be, but you don't have to carry

00:57:12.660 everything, but the kitchen sink either.

00:57:14.660 Yeah.

00:57:15.280 Yeah.

00:57:15.700 Super fun.

00:57:16.340 That's funny.

00:57:17.140 So did he freeze?

00:57:17.980 Did he, I mean, he survived. 0.74

00:57:18.800 He's like, oh man, that's miserable.

00:57:21.380 But it's funny because I have so many of those blankets as well, but I've never opened one.

00:57:25.040 I never have no idea what the diameter is.

00:57:27.660 Yeah.

00:57:27.880 I never have either.

00:57:29.060 Yeah.

00:57:29.220 Better him than me.

00:57:30.120 Like, I just assumed that they're like six feet by four or something, but no, they're

00:57:34.360 like, they're like for little people.

00:57:36.360 What's, what's the little, they're kids.

00:57:38.340 Kids and midgets. 0.54

00:57:39.240 What's the quote?

00:57:40.720 It's a smart man learns from his mistakes.

00:57:42.960 A wise man learns from the mistakes of others.

00:57:45.500 Yeah.

00:57:45.880 Yeah, totally.

00:57:46.800 Absolutely.

00:57:47.400 Well, and it's like one of those despair posters.

00:57:49.700 It's like, sometimes your lot in life is to serve as a warning for others.

00:57:53.440 Yeah.

00:57:54.320 Or, or John Wayne's life is hard. 1.00

00:57:56.460 It's harder if you're stupid. 1.00

00:57:59.740 Totally. 1.00

00:58:00.620 Right on.

00:58:00.940 What else we got, man?

00:58:02.020 I feel like I'm being cynical today.

00:58:03.720 I'm really, I'm just maybe on one a little bit.

00:58:05.680 I'm not trying to be cynical.

00:58:06.740 I'm just like, come on.

00:58:07.480 You guys got this.

00:58:08.980 I'm trying.

00:58:09.740 I'm trying to counter you a little bit.

00:58:11.500 I appreciate that.

00:58:12.120 So not everyone's feeling like you're just attacking in them. 1.00

00:58:14.980 You're an idiot. 1.00

00:58:15.800 Just do it. 1.00

00:58:17.100 He says out of caring.

00:58:18.580 Out of caring.

00:58:19.380 Yes, I do.

00:58:20.100 I do care.

00:58:20.840 That is one thing.

00:58:22.380 All right.

00:58:22.780 Jory Jimenez.

00:58:24.880 What's your opinion on fragile masculinity?

00:58:27.900 Man, I don't even know what that means.

00:58:29.440 Well, I think I know what it means, but it also doesn't exist.

00:58:32.640 It's an oxymoron, right?

00:58:35.640 Masculinity by design is not fragile.

00:58:37.480 It's not designed to be fragile.

00:58:38.700 It's designed to be tough, resilient, gritty, fortitude.

00:58:41.820 Like all those words that you think about when you generally think of men strength.

00:58:45.080 So are you displaying, are you being fragile as you're displaying masculinity?

00:58:51.640 No, it's not, it's not a thing.

00:58:54.340 It's like toxic masculinity.

00:58:55.520 It's not a thing.

00:58:56.540 I know what people think it means, but it's not a thing.

00:59:00.080 So what do people think it mean?

00:59:02.620 What toxic or fragile?

00:59:04.200 No, fragile masculinity.

00:59:05.420 I'm assuming this is like a social term.

00:59:07.640 What they mean, what they mean is insecurity.

00:59:11.200 What, what, what he's, what he's referring to.

00:59:13.260 I think, I don't want to put words in his mouth, but I think what he's referring to is that

00:59:16.820 men are so insecure in their masculinity and their manliness that they just like overcompensate

00:59:23.220 for it.

00:59:25.620 That's what they mean.

00:59:26.680 But do you see what I'm saying?

00:59:28.700 Yeah.

00:59:29.200 But by design, masculinity is not insecure.

00:59:33.200 So you can't be fragile and masculine.

00:59:35.960 You can be fragile at times.

00:59:40.320 You can be masculine at times, but you can't be fragile and masculine.

00:59:45.720 That would be like saying I'm, I'm cold in a hot kind of way.

00:59:49.160 It's like, well, you either are cold or you're hot or, or it's like pregnancy.

00:59:54.560 You can't be kind of pregnant. 0.96

00:59:56.360 You either are pregnant or you're not pregnant. 0.94

01:00:00.440 Like there's no, there's no middle ground on this.

01:00:03.680 So I think what he's referring to is guys who are so insecure about what they do that

01:00:09.460 they're like walking around, like I got a big truck and big, heavy swinging balls and

01:00:14.620 I do this and I lift. 0.55

01:00:16.360 And that's not masculinity.

01:00:17.880 That's just ego.

01:00:19.360 That's just insecurity.

01:00:21.240 It's, that's not masculine at all.

01:00:24.140 So when I hear people talk about, oh, the traditional view of masculinity is to have 0.96

01:00:29.840 sex with a bunch of women and drive a big truck and lift heavy things. 1.00

01:00:33.900 I'm like, no, that's not masculinity. 0.99

01:00:36.360 It's never been that.

01:00:37.820 And anytime that anybody's ever said that that's masculine, they've been wrong since the dawn

01:00:43.400 of time.

01:00:45.580 Masculinity is about protecting, providing, and presiding.

01:00:49.380 It's about using the skills and the tools and the virtues like strength and honor and

01:00:56.640 character and mastery.

01:00:58.060 Jack Donovan talks a lot about the tactical virtues.

01:01:00.500 It's using all of those characteristics, violence, even aggression when necessary to produce effective 0.98

01:01:06.160 outcomes for yourself and other people and being fragile and being weak and being pathetic 0.92

01:01:11.660 and being insecure is not masculine. 1.00

01:01:14.480 It's just being weak and pathetic and insecure period. 0.99

01:01:17.860 So you can't be fragile and masculine. 1.00

01:01:21.340 You can't be toxic and masculine.

01:01:23.840 I know people like to distort what those phrases mean, but that's not, they're, they're misnomers.

01:01:29.320 They're not accurate definitions of masculinity.

01:01:34.280 So there you go.

01:01:36.920 Strike the nerve there.

01:01:38.140 No, not a, not so much a nerve, but maybe, maybe, I mean, this is, this is my life's work.

01:01:44.660 So it's like, you know, I just get, I just, I get frustrated when he, oh, he's, he's fragile.

01:01:50.440 He's displaying fragile masculinity.

01:01:52.000 Oh, it's tight. 0.99

01:01:52.660 He's toxic. 1.00

01:01:53.320 No, he's an asshole. 1.00

01:01:56.160 He's not being, it's not toxic masculinity. 1.00

01:01:58.120 He's an asshole. 1.00

01:01:59.500 No, no, no, no, no, no, no. 1.00

01:02:00.820 It's his masculinity that makes him that way.

01:02:02.920 You know what? 1.00

01:02:03.360 I know women who are assholes too, and I've never said toxic femininity. 1.00

01:02:07.640 Not once have I ever said that. 1.00

01:02:09.080 Not once I've even heard that term.

01:02:10.860 Yeah.

01:02:11.400 Because we know that it's not masculinity.

01:02:13.980 We know that it's not femininity. 1.00

01:02:15.800 It's just being an a-hole. 0.94

01:02:20.100 Yeah.

01:02:20.620 I love how, yeah, the, the slippery slope.

01:02:23.360 Oh, well it's, it's a preconceived notions of masculinity.

01:02:27.440 Thus, thus, this is a character or this issue is related strictly to men.

01:02:31.940 Right.

01:02:32.780 Yeah.

01:02:33.360 Right.

01:02:34.320 So lame.

01:02:35.400 It is.

01:02:37.260 I'm going to get riled up now.

01:02:38.500 All right.

01:02:40.020 Bertrand.

01:02:40.980 Gampa.

01:02:41.960 As a single man, how can I prepare for marriage and my wife?

01:02:46.520 Don't prepare for marriage and wife. 0.68

01:02:48.760 Prepare just for life.

01:02:49.880 Prepare yourself.

01:02:51.340 Be the best man that you can be.

01:02:52.920 And those things will take care of themselves.

01:02:54.520 So what are some areas?

01:02:56.220 Well, definitely physical fitness.

01:02:58.660 That's a huge area.

01:03:00.060 Learning how to communicate.

01:03:01.160 We've talked a lot about boundaries in this podcast, developing a new skill set so that

01:03:05.860 you can provide more effectively and more efficiently, being able to build and develop

01:03:11.760 and nurture relationships, having a hobby and an activity and an interest, something

01:03:14.820 that engages your mind and your heart and your spirit and your soul.

01:03:17.520 These are all things that you can do to improve yourself, which make you a much more suitable

01:03:22.520 partner for a potential spouse down the road.

01:03:25.060 And you know, what's funny is when you stop looking and focusing on, oh, my wife and I

01:03:29.360 need to find a woman.

01:03:30.060 And you start focusing more on yourself and becoming a man of value, a deeply convicted,

01:03:36.160 valuable man.

01:03:38.060 Women just kind of tend to flock to that. 1.00

01:03:40.120 It's almost as if that's attractive to them.

01:03:42.660 Yeah.

01:03:43.480 And then hold onto it.

01:03:44.980 Don't let it go.

01:03:45.940 No, no, not even.

01:03:46.820 I would say this kid, not even hold onto it, but continue to develop it because holding

01:03:51.520 onto it.

01:03:51.980 I think of when I think of holding onto it, I think of picking up on the beach of handful

01:03:56.400 of sand and then like grasping it, what happens this, the, the, the sand gradually slips through

01:04:02.020 your fingers.

01:04:04.040 It's not a passive thing.

01:04:07.100 Masculinity and manliness is not passive.

01:04:08.900 It's active, meaning that you will never get where you have the potential of going.

01:04:14.820 It's a moving target.

01:04:15.920 Once you achieve some level of mastery, when it comes to being a man or some proficiency,

01:04:20.320 when it comes to a skillset that helps you be a better protector, provider, presider,

01:04:24.240 that target moves because now you have new potential.

01:04:27.100 Yeah.

01:04:27.580 So not only hold onto it, like actively pursue it.

01:04:31.660 That's what happens when guys get into relationships.

01:04:33.760 Kip, I'm, I'd be willing to bet you've done this.

01:04:35.400 I've done this where I'm so enthralled by this beautiful woman that I've, I have a connection

01:04:39.580 with that.

01:04:40.380 I let everything else go like my, my buddies and my hobbies and my activities and my

01:04:44.740 interests.

01:04:45.140 And then I lose all that stuff.

01:04:46.420 I have no energy to bring the relationship.

01:04:47.800 And over time, she's less attracted to that.

01:04:50.240 And in fact, a lot of ways repulsed by that.

01:04:52.140 And she ends up leaving because you're not the man that she initially fell in love with.

01:04:55.940 Yeah.

01:04:56.360 And the irony is, I would say, and hopefully my wife still doesn't listen to the podcast.

01:05:02.140 Uh, I would say that most women would ask you to give up all those things. 1.00

01:05:07.060 They, a lot of them would be like, Oh no, it's all about me.

01:05:09.980 It's all about me.

01:05:10.540 But yet it's not what they're asking for.

01:05:12.580 It's like, they may be verbally saying that, but that's ultimately not what they're attracted

01:05:17.420 to.

01:05:17.800 Maybe that's better.

01:05:18.660 I don't, I think that might be true.

01:05:20.880 I don't know if I fully agree with that.

01:05:23.460 I would say definitely some women because they're insecure. 1.00

01:05:26.240 Yeah.

01:05:26.600 I think an insecure woman would say, no, no, no, no. 0.97

01:05:28.440 Love me.

01:05:28.900 Love me.

01:05:29.240 Hold me.

01:05:30.280 Be my little teddy bear.

01:05:31.480 I think that's an insecurity issue.

01:05:33.180 I think the women that you want, the women that I want anyways, my, my wife is completely 1.00

01:05:39.380 self-reliant.

01:05:40.260 She's independent.

01:05:41.040 She supports me.

01:05:41.800 She uplists me.

01:05:42.540 She encourages me to go on hunts and do activity.

01:05:45.620 It, it's always funny when, when I hear guys will be like, Oh yeah, my wife didn't let

01:05:49.580 me like, Whoa, dude.

01:05:51.660 Like you got some serious, serious problems.

01:05:54.780 Number one, you're blaming your weakness on her.

01:05:57.740 That's a problem.

01:05:58.720 That's a character flaw.

01:06:00.120 You're not taking ownership of your life.

01:06:02.340 Number two, you're letting your wife dictate your life. 1.00

01:06:05.700 She certainly has a say in the matter, but she shouldn't be dictating your life. 0.55

01:06:10.400 I guess pretty sad when you hear that.

01:06:12.600 Now, if you made the choice, like, Hey, you know what, I didn't go hunting this weekend

01:06:15.760 because it was my, uh, my kid's game and, and my wife already had something planned and

01:06:20.240 I wanted her to go do that thing. 1.00

01:06:21.440 And then I needed to stick around to, to take care of the kids while she was away.

01:06:24.400 That's a decision that you've made.

01:06:25.900 Congratulations.

01:06:26.740 But don't you dare say that my wife wouldn't let me.

01:06:29.400 That's, that's a sign of, uh, definitely not ownership and a sign of weakness.

01:06:34.720 Yeah, for sure.

01:06:35.640 It's, it's, it's a long relationship.

01:06:37.120 I'd probably suggest too, that a lot of guys that have really healthy relationships aren't,

01:06:44.080 are not even close to being the same men that you were in the past.

01:06:48.020 If I look at who I was when I first married Asia, I am not the same man.

01:06:52.060 I'm not the same man I was a year ago.

01:06:54.700 Yeah.

01:06:55.440 I'm constantly changing and, and I don't think, and I think that's healthy, right?

01:06:59.760 That's the sign of healthiness.

01:07:00.920 If, if you're stagnant to what you're saying, Ryan, I don't think you're in a good place.

01:07:05.420 I'm full of quotes today.

01:07:07.240 It's the quote that says, no man steps in the same river twice for he is not the same 0.69

01:07:10.460 man and he is not the same river.

01:07:12.700 And people say all the time you've changed.

01:07:14.360 Oh, you've changed.

01:07:15.260 Yeah. 0.66

01:07:15.660 You're damn right. 0.61

01:07:16.260 I have, I should be changing.

01:07:17.700 If I'm not a different guy in the next 24 hours than I am today, then I have failed the

01:07:21.620 last 24 hours.

01:07:25.740 Love it.

01:07:26.300 Love it.

01:07:26.780 How many more questions you want to do here?

01:07:28.240 What are we at?

01:07:28.660 We're a little over an hour.

01:07:29.500 Let's take a couple more. 0.62

01:07:30.760 Okay.

01:07:31.320 Landon.

01:07:31.680 What was that even last question?

01:07:32.780 I don't know.

01:07:33.040 I think I might've got on a soapbox there.

01:07:34.440 Uh, preparing a single man for marriage and wife. 0.63

01:07:37.500 Yeah.

01:07:37.620 I think you hit it.

01:07:38.420 I think you hit it.

01:07:39.460 Yeah.

01:07:39.940 Focus on you, man.

01:07:41.020 Right.

01:07:41.260 And become the better version of you.

01:07:42.820 And that, that will all work out.

01:07:44.340 That will prepare you.

01:07:45.180 Absolutely.

01:07:45.820 Yeah.

01:07:46.900 Landon Wood.

01:07:47.560 How can we turn the tide of fatherless homes in a society becoming more feminist and anti-masculine? 1.00

01:07:53.980 Raise men.

01:07:55.080 Another quote, if men don't learn, boys won't know, or excuse me, is that how it goes?

01:08:02.420 If boys don't learn, men won't know.

01:08:03.580 Excuse me.

01:08:03.960 If boys don't learn, men won't know.

01:08:06.300 Uh, I think that was Douglas Wilson.

01:08:08.060 Um, the reason I bring that up is it's our responsibility to raise the future generations

01:08:12.980 of strong and great men.

01:08:16.660 So how do we turn the tide?

01:08:18.140 Raise men.

01:08:19.260 And I'm not even talking about biological.

01:08:21.100 Look, there's kids in my community who don't have dads around and they're weak and they're 1.00

01:08:24.780 cowardly and they're pathetic. 1.00

01:08:26.060 It's my responsibility to lift them up. 1.00

01:08:27.500 Why?

01:08:27.740 Because that's going to impact my life.

01:08:29.200 And it's more, what morally we have an obligation responsibility to do.

01:08:33.640 If I have the ability to reach outside the walls of my home and help a young man become

01:08:37.320 a better man, then it's my moral obligation to do so.

01:08:40.240 So how do we raise a future generation of men?

01:08:42.100 We get involved in organizations like order of man.

01:08:44.420 We spread the mission and we spread the word.

01:08:46.780 And then we look around and we say, here's a, here's a young man, whether this is my biological

01:08:51.060 son or a neighborhood kid or somebody on my team that needs some guidance, direction

01:08:55.220 and focus on what it means to be a man.

01:08:56.840 It's my responsibility to instill that upon him. 1.00

01:08:59.580 So that we don't have a bunch of weak, cowardly, pathetic, effeminate little boys running around 1.00

01:09:05.140 dictating the conversation that we should be having when it comes to what it actually 1.00

01:09:09.440 means to be a man and how we display masculinity in the society.

01:09:13.660 So we turn the attention outwards to the young boys who need the guidance and direction and

01:09:20.760 aren't getting the guidance and direction they need.

01:09:25.000 That's become my life's work.

01:09:26.320 And I would say it doesn't need to become your life's work, but it should become a part

01:09:31.100 of your life.

01:09:32.220 It's your responsibility as a man.

01:09:34.240 Yeah.

01:09:34.780 And it's not just young boys.

01:09:36.880 I, I, that's a good point.

01:09:38.580 Really good point.

01:09:39.220 It's other men. 0.96

01:09:39.980 It's, it's how you show up in your family.

01:09:44.000 It's how you show up in your community.

01:09:45.420 It's how you show up at work and other men looking to you going, yeah, that's, that's

01:09:51.000 how, that's the kind of man I should be.

01:09:53.740 Right.

01:09:54.160 And model that in, in everything that we do.

01:09:56.760 I actually thought you were going to say, it's our job to teach that with women to, 1.00

01:10:00.540 to girls too.

01:10:01.420 I thought you were going to go that route, which I actually agree with girls. 1.00

01:10:04.080 I do too.

01:10:04.900 I think it's, I think it's critical that my daughter sees me being a man because the,

01:10:13.840 the hopefully gentlemen that she chooses to be with down the road will likely be a lot

01:10:20.320 like me.

01:10:20.940 And so it's my responsibility to teach her what is acceptable behavior in a potential

01:10:28.580 husband and the father of her future children.

01:10:32.280 That's my job.

01:10:33.760 That's my job. 1.00

01:10:34.580 And if you're showing up like an asshole, she's going to be with an asshole. 1.00

01:10:37.340 And that's probably partly due to you and the things that you failed to do as a man. 1.00

01:10:45.620 Man, I'm fired up today.

01:10:47.040 What else we got?

01:10:48.300 No.

01:10:48.700 Well, Landon, you can join the order.

01:10:51.760 If you're not having already, you can join the iron council.

01:10:56.000 You could subscribe to this podcast.

01:10:58.800 You can share this podcast.

01:11:00.580 You can help us push this message, right?

01:11:04.380 That's, that's part of Ryan's work, right?

01:11:07.260 That's why he does this podcast to turn that tide that you're talking about.

01:11:11.940 And, and the more that you support this message and what we're doing and, and standing up for

01:11:16.360 other men, the more you can do that.

01:11:18.160 Absolutely.

01:11:18.700 So a hundred percent, man, let's take one more after it.

01:11:20.940 All right.

01:11:21.600 Steven Payne Davis, when is the right time to give up on pursuing a woman who is in a relationship

01:11:27.520 with someone else, but isn't happy according to her?

01:11:31.540 You shouldn't even pursue that woman in the first place. 1.00

01:11:33.780 Get the hell out of there, man.

01:11:35.240 Like until she's mature enough to see that she's in a relationship where she's not happy.

01:11:39.840 Why would you want a woman like that? 1.00

01:11:41.960 Maybe she's hot. 1.00

01:11:42.760 Cool.

01:11:43.000 Go find somebody else who's hot, but isn't, it doesn't have the emotional baggage or whatever

01:11:46.600 else she's dealing with.

01:11:47.520 She's in a relationship.

01:11:48.940 Go find somebody else who's not in a relationship, who wants to be committed to you, who sees

01:11:54.180 the value of, of a good man, who sees the value of commitment and honor and wants to have

01:12:00.160 a good relationship. 1.00

01:12:00.880 Oh, but she's the one bullshit. 1.00

01:12:04.300 There isn't the one. 0.99

01:12:06.460 There's plenty of women, women out there who are beautiful and lovely and want to be loved 1.00

01:12:12.060 and want to be led and want to be a partner with you.

01:12:17.440 She's not ready yet.

01:12:19.160 Yeah.

01:12:19.560 Yeah.

01:12:19.880 Dissect her actions.

01:12:21.100 She's in a relationship that she is not happy with.

01:12:25.340 So what does that say about her?

01:12:26.960 Right.

01:12:27.800 And, and I, I used to use this term back in the day, but she's vine swinging, right?

01:12:32.640 Well, no, I don't even know if it's that or if she's just insecure.

01:12:36.480 Yeah.

01:12:37.320 Yeah.

01:12:37.520 It could be either one of those.

01:12:38.660 Because maybe she's committed Kip. 0.63

01:12:40.180 Like she could be genuinely committed to this other individual.

01:12:43.840 So she's not necessarily vine swinging. 0.62

01:12:45.640 She's just, she's just insecure because she thinks that for whatever reason, maybe she had

01:12:51.680 some past traumatic events or maybe dad was out of the picture, but for whatever reason,

01:12:55.880 she's more comfortable in a relationship where she's not happy than being alone.

01:13:02.560 Yeah.

01:13:03.160 And you want a woman like that? 1.00

01:13:06.220 It's not your problem.

01:13:07.540 It's not your responsibility to save everybody.

01:13:10.160 Even the woman who you could potentially and genuinely love.

01:13:14.020 Yeah.

01:13:14.460 And by the way, that thought that's somewhat of a folly, assuming that you can even save

01:13:19.100 them.

01:13:19.540 I mean, that's a, that's a personal issue, right?

01:13:22.280 That she needs to find out for herself.

01:13:24.140 And, and you're just, you, you could just be addressing the dependency that she's, that

01:13:30.960 she needs.

01:13:31.520 You're, you're not necessarily helping her.

01:13:33.440 Right.

01:13:33.980 Cause what's to say that, you know, it's, it's like the old adage goes that you are the

01:13:37.660 common denominator of all your problems.

01:13:40.040 Yeah.

01:13:40.480 So what's to say it's actually the relationships that that's the problem, or even this gentleman

01:13:44.300 who she happens to be with.

01:13:45.720 That's the problem.

01:13:46.940 Yeah.

01:13:47.420 You don't know.

01:13:49.740 Tough Steven.

01:13:50.760 Yeah, it is tough.

01:13:51.500 I would say there's plenty of other fish in the sea.

01:13:55.700 Another quote.

01:13:57.420 Lots of quotes today, man.

01:13:59.320 I honestly do.

01:14:00.380 I'm going to go back and listen to this because we're, this is actually going to be released

01:14:03.340 tomorrow just because we got a little behind with, with you being unavailable last week

01:14:06.480 is I'm going to go back and listen.

01:14:07.980 And I'm like, man, am I being like bitter or am I just like fired up?

01:14:12.140 What, what would you say?

01:14:12.920 How would you categorize my, the tone of my answers today?

01:14:16.860 No, I think you're fired up.

01:14:18.040 Okay. 1.00

01:14:18.960 I don't want to be an asshole. 1.00

01:14:19.900 I'm not trying to be an asshole. 1.00

01:14:20.840 I'm just, no, no. 0.98

01:14:22.080 But sometimes, I mean, let's say, let's say it this way.

01:14:26.680 Society, right. 0.99

01:14:28.560 Would maybe say you're being an asshole, but the reality of it is, is you're speaking the 0.99

01:14:34.440 truth and we need to not be so sensitive all the time. 1.00

01:14:38.560 That's true.

01:14:39.540 And what you're saying is spot on.

01:14:41.540 So deal, deal with it.

01:14:44.320 Bonus Kip.

01:14:45.000 You're getting a bonus this week, man.

01:14:47.040 Yeah.

01:14:48.480 Well, should we call it a day?

01:14:49.900 Yeah, let's do it.

01:14:50.760 All right, guys.

01:14:52.020 Really appreciate you.

01:14:52.760 I do appreciate the questions.

01:14:54.940 Man, we couldn't do it without you.

01:14:56.920 You know, it's, it's, we all have questions.

01:14:59.540 We all have thoughts.

01:15:00.220 We all have ideas.

01:15:01.040 We all have things that we're dealing with.

01:15:02.380 And I appreciate your willingness to share them because look, if you're having this problem,

01:15:07.500 then it's safe to say that there's millions of other men who are dealing with some very, 0.82

01:15:11.300 very similar issues who don't have the balls to speak up or just quite, quite frankly,

01:15:15.460 aren't part of the order yet. 0.91

01:15:16.760 And they will be.

01:15:17.920 So I appreciate you leading the charge.

01:15:19.720 I always talk about leaders going first.

01:15:21.320 Leaders do leaders ask questions.

01:15:23.340 They give thoughtful answers.

01:15:24.860 They push themselves outside of their comfort zone.

01:15:27.260 And sometimes some of these questions and bringing up these conversations, frankly,

01:15:30.780 are not comfortable, but that's what it takes to improve.

01:15:33.300 And I'm glad that you're doing it.

01:15:34.420 I really am.

01:15:36.000 You want to end this thing, wrap this thing up Kip for us? 0.94

01:15:38.420 Yeah, let's wrap this thing up.

01:15:39.700 If you want to join these gentlemen that have submitted these questions, you, you primarily

01:15:43.940 have three ways to, of doing that.

01:15:45.740 You can go to patreon.com forward slash order of man, which is a paid membership that comes

01:15:51.080 with a handful of perks, not only having your questions read here on the podcast, but some

01:15:56.020 swag and a few other things.

01:15:58.300 Second, you can join us on Facebook at facebook.com forward slash groups forward slash order of

01:16:04.040 man.

01:16:04.340 There's a lot of conversation going on there.

01:16:07.640 Um, and you'll be rubbing shoulders with five, 50,000 plus other men.

01:16:11.940 That's kind of dealing with the same questions and having those conversations.

01:16:14.820 And it's a great opportunity to not just come browse and read, but post and contribute and stand up for

01:16:22.760 other men and, and make a difference and, and get on the path of, of what Landon would, um, alluded to

01:16:28.860 earlier of turning the tide of fatherless homes.

01:16:31.020 Well, guess what?

01:16:31.780 Do something about it.

01:16:33.420 Join the Facebook group.

01:16:34.780 And if you want to step up even further, then you join us in the iron council and you can join

01:16:39.400 the iron council at order of man.com forward slash iron council.

01:16:43.500 And the iron council is, is pretty much a brotherhood.

01:16:46.100 You get assigned a, uh, within a battle team, you rub shoulders with anywhere from 10 to 15 other

01:16:52.000 men, uh, that will hold you accountable that, uh, get past the mentality that we sometimes have 0.99

01:17:00.080 in society of buying into other people's bullshit. 0.98

01:17:03.420 So no one calls us out on ours. 0.99

01:17:05.980 That goes away.

01:17:07.180 That goes away in the iron council because guess what guys, it's not effective.

01:17:11.680 And, and if you're willing to level up, guess what you need to do?

01:17:14.280 You need to face your issues straight on and you need to hold other men accountable.

01:17:17.760 So they hold you accountable.

01:17:19.100 And that's what we do in the iron council.

01:17:21.020 You can connect with Ryan on Instagram at Ryan Mickler.

01:17:25.400 Uh, I think, uh, what Twitter is at order of man.

01:17:29.380 Yes.

01:17:30.460 And, uh, if you're looking for some swag and curve brims and you want to help Bubba purchase

01:17:35.740 more than the five that he's planning on buying.

01:17:39.140 So not only are we selling five of them, but Bubba who's buying all five.

01:17:42.860 Is that what you're saying?

01:17:43.740 Yeah.

01:17:44.140 I think Bubba's buying five and we need someone else to buy the other a hundred. 0.80

01:17:48.220 Yes.

01:17:51.100 Uh, so a couple of weeks.

01:17:53.080 Yeah.

01:17:53.940 Some swagger, get some swagger, order man, swagger.

01:17:56.800 Yes.

01:17:57.740 Yeah.

01:17:58.020 And, and I know, I know it's cheesy, but man, I find, and I think this is the case for

01:18:02.420 most guys is we find honor in those decals on the back window of our cars.

01:18:08.160 We find honor and we're in those shirts because they represent something.

01:18:11.520 They represent something you're standing, standing up for.

01:18:14.140 So do it, stand up for it and let the world know.

01:18:18.900 It's all I got.

01:18:19.840 I love it, man.

01:18:20.680 You're getting better at it.

01:18:21.520 You're getting better at it.

01:18:22.300 You're selling it, man.

01:18:23.100 You're selling it.

01:18:23.720 Appreciate you, Kip.

01:18:24.360 I really do.

01:18:25.000 This is a, this has been a good partnership.

01:18:26.520 A lot of fun doing these things.

01:18:27.580 I know the guys I've, I've tried to send you messages when I get messages from the guys

01:18:31.700 about you and your contribution to this podcast.

01:18:34.360 Um, but I, I'm getting a lot of messages that, that from these guys who really appreciate

01:18:38.280 you and the dynamic you bring to the show.

01:18:39.900 So want to let you know that, man.

01:18:41.660 Yeah.

01:18:41.840 I appreciate it.

01:18:42.720 You know, I'm just grateful to serve, um, this, this adds purpose, uh, to my life

01:18:49.240 and, and I appreciate the opportunity.

01:18:51.000 So right on brother.

01:18:52.240 All right.

01:18:52.680 I'll let you get going.

01:18:53.380 You got a young one to take care of guys.

01:18:54.800 We'll let you get going, uh, go out there, take action and become the man you are meant

01:18:58.880 to be.

01:18:59.180 Thank you for listening to the order of man podcast.

01:19:02.500 You're ready to take charge of your life and be more of the man you were meant to be.

01:19:06.500 We invite you to join the order at order of man.com.

01:19:09.760 We'll be right back.

01:19:10.880 We'll be right back.

01:19:13.540 We'll be right back.

01:19:14.120 We'll be right back.

01:19:15.520 You Jared.

01:19:15.620 We'll be right back.

01:19:15.900 We'll be right back.

01:19:28.340 We'll be right back.

Order of Man - October 31, 2018

Overcoming a Failed Relationship, Dismissing the term "Fragile Masculinity," and Reversing the Tide of Fatherless Homes ｜ ASK ME ANYTHING

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Summary

Transcript

Order of Man - October 31, 2018

Overcoming a Failed Relationship, Dismissing the term &#x22;Fragile Masculinity,&#x22; and Reversing the Tide of Fatherless Homes ｜ ASK ME ANYTHING

Episode Stats

Summary

Transcript

Overcoming a Failed Relationship, Dismissing the term "Fragile Masculinity," and Reversing the Tide of Fatherless Homes ｜ ASK ME ANYTHING