Order of Man

00:00:00.000 You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest. Embrace your fears and boldly chart

00:00:04.980 your own path. When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time. Every time.

00:00:10.460 You are not easily deterred or defeated. Rugged. Resilient. Strong. This is your life. This is who

00:00:17.220 you are. This is who you will become. At the end of the day, and after all is said and done,

00:00:22.780 you can call yourself a man. Mr. Kip Sorensen, good to see you. Actually,

00:00:27.160 it's good to see you with a mask on because it covers up your face, so that's always a good

00:00:30.900 thing, too. You never know about these Zoom meetings. They're a little scary, so I'm glad

00:00:35.960 to see you're masked up today. It's the COVID, man. It's changing the world. Hold on.

00:00:44.320 I was listening to a podcast the other day. What podcast? Oh, it was on Matt Walsh, and he said he

00:00:49.840 was traveling, and he was sitting next to a guy on the flight, and the guy would literally lift his

00:00:55.940 mask up every time he needed to cough. He would lift it up and cough, and then put it back on.

00:01:02.140 It's like, dude, that's the exact point of the mask if you're going to wear one. Holy cow,

00:01:09.460 these people have lost their minds. Oh, it's funny. That's when you know they're just wearing the mask

00:01:16.340 because of the social pressure of people staring at them and giving them bad vibes. They're like,

00:01:21.180 I'm just going to wear a mask. I'm assuming you don't wear a mask often in public. I assume.

00:01:27.780 Maybe I'm wrong. I don't, but there's been a few cases where I do, and the way I work it in my mind,

00:01:35.440 because there's certain things I just completely disagree with, but I also get that, like for

00:01:40.860 instance, our tenant, or not our tenant, the landlord of the building that we're in,

00:01:47.860 he's at mercy to a certain regulation. You know what I mean? And if people aren't following his

00:01:53.600 regulation, we kind of affect him, right? And so we don't wear masks like in the office, but

00:01:58.460 they ask in the common areas that we at least consider to do so. And it's nice because then

00:02:02.500 I don't hear, you know, if I go in the bathroom, someone's taking a dump. I don't smell it as much,

00:02:06.640 you know? So to me, it's nice. Cause I don't have to talk to people. I don't want to talk with

00:02:11.700 like on the plane. Are you a plane? Are you a talker on the plane? Um, I am not. It depends.

00:02:18.760 I, I, I, I wing it, right? Like if I sit down and that person's immediately closing eyes or whatever,

00:02:23.560 I'm like, got it. We're good. You know, I'm, I'm that guy. I'm the guy that's like tucked in the

00:02:30.100 corner. Pretend like I'm sleeping. Like, don't talk to me. I don't want to be on this flight. I don't want

00:02:35.620 to talk to you. I don't want to pretend like I care about your grandkids or whatever. Just leave

00:02:40.860 me alone and let me do my thing. So. Yeah. I'm a little adult. It depends. Yeah. Yeah. I don't,

00:02:47.980 I don't wear my mask at all ever. Rarely. I mean, maybe if I go to a store, I try to be actually

00:02:55.500 respectful. If a store says, Hey, we require masks. I know there's a lot of people like, well,

00:03:01.340 I'm not wearing my mask in here, but I think, you know, if you're going to go into a store and ask

00:03:05.480 exactly. And if you don't like it, well, I'm going to go into the store next door who doesn't

00:03:09.700 require a mask or so. I don't know. It's a, I don't know where I was going with that a minute

00:03:14.780 ago, why I was asking you if you wear a mask, but because I had one on. Yeah. I mean, look,

00:03:21.600 there's even, I've seen articles where it's like, wear a mask in your house. I'm like, dude,

00:03:27.740 I'm not going to wear a mask in my house. That's stupid. Or wear a mask. I saw one where it maybe

00:03:31.820 was a troll account. It had to have been wear a mask when you're having sex. Come on.

00:03:37.400 Come on. Get your wife sick. This can't be real. I mean, you're exchanging bodily fluids. Like I

00:03:43.040 think that, you know, having some aerosol air particles is, you know, the least of your worries

00:03:48.440 at that point. Totally. My favorite, my favorite meme was the, it's like these, this little,

00:03:55.400 little kid, you know, kindergartner age and mommy's and his mom's talking to him. And the meme is like,

00:04:02.240 Timmy, that's not your mask. Where do you get that mask from? And he's like, Oh,

00:04:06.200 I traded my mask with Johnny and Johnny. I was like, that's so true. Yeah. Yeah.

00:04:12.320 Fortunately, our kids don't go to public school. They're homeschooled and they have been for the

00:04:16.920 last couple of years. So we don't have to worry about exchanging masks all the time, man.

00:04:22.440 Right at, at, at eight 30 or nine o'clock when school starts mask up kids, we're going into the

00:04:27.780 classroom. Yeah. Sleep with them on. That's right. That's a good strategy, man. My, my dirt,

00:04:34.560 my daughters talk a lot. So maybe I should just instigate mask in the house. Dude, I actually have

00:04:39.640 the mask on. You can't talk. Exactly. It's like the stick, like the talking stick. You can only talk

00:04:44.560 if you're holding the stick. I actually, I actually thought the last time I was on a flight,

00:04:50.200 it was probably a month or so ago. And I thought, I actually like this better.

00:04:56.980 Oh, me too.

00:04:57.680 Because there was fewer people. There was fewer people on the plane. Nobody was trying to talk

00:05:02.660 with me. Everybody was maintaining their own personal boundaries. I'm like, this is actually

00:05:07.820 better. I wish we could do this all the time. This is way better than when you're just packed

00:05:12.180 shoulder to shoulder and thrown into the metal tube, like a, like a group of sardines. Like,

00:05:18.020 yeah. It's like, this is way better. Yeah. Yeah. I, I liked the last slide I went on to. I was

00:05:23.620 like, Oh, this is nice. And we went to universal in Florida and that was nice. Like the longest

00:05:28.600 line was like 10 minutes. I'm like, are they open? Yeah. Universal studios. That's surprising.

00:05:34.260 Actually longest ride, 10 minutes, 10 minute wait. Perfect. Yeah. I'm like, and it was 10 minutes

00:05:39.500 cause it took that long to walk on, you know? That's what I'm saying. Like, you know, it's easy. It's,

00:05:44.100 it's funny to me, you know, you think about these amusement parks and it's like,

00:05:47.400 we've become so accustomed to it. It's like, Oh, it was only an hour wait.

00:05:52.900 You paid money to wait in line. It's ridiculous, but they've conditioned us.

00:05:57.920 Imagine doing that at the doctor's office. It's just an hour. I just waited an hour.

00:06:01.640 It wasn't bad. Yeah. I'd said this last week. I'm set. I send doctors an invoice, man.

00:06:06.460 Like if you get me in past my time, like now you're cutting into my time. We agreed at this time. Now

00:06:11.780 you're cutting into my time. So you send me your invoice. I'll send you mine. I'm worth as much,

00:06:15.800 not more than what you're charging me. So let's do this. I'll play this game all day long.

00:06:23.140 That's funny. The world, man. So if you're a doctor, a physician, a dentist, a chiropractor,

00:06:29.320 a veterinarian, or whatever, don't do that to your patients. Don't do it to me. Cause I'll send you

00:06:34.720 an invoice. Yeah. Give me in at the scheduled time. Oh, but we don't know because our patients run over.

00:06:39.800 Well, schedule some buffer time. That's not my fault. That's your fault for mismanaging your schedule.

00:06:44.020 Yeah. That's what we all do on a regular basis to schedule our time and set expectation

00:06:48.600 appropriately. Yeah. Doctors. So when Ryan goes to the dentist, he gets paid. I get paid. I get paid.

00:06:55.240 Absolutely. That's what it's all about, man. Making money wherever you go. All right. That's enough

00:07:00.860 banter. Yeah. We did our bare minimum. All right. So today it's all serious from here. Yeah. So yeah,

00:07:08.520 let's, let's get serious. So we have questions. We have a handful of questions from the iron council,

00:07:14.040 our exclusive brotherhood, some left to learn more. Yep. To learn more order man.com slash iron

00:07:18.960 council. And then we'll dive into questions from our Facebook group to join us there. Go to facebook.com

00:07:25.900 slash group slash order, man. Do you want to get into it? Don't go there. Just go to iron council.

00:07:30.600 Like don't even go to the Facebook group. Skip that.

00:07:32.740 We'll just repeat the iron council questions. I wonder if we'd, if how well it would be congruent

00:07:41.880 or if it'd be completely off. If we intertwined them. Yeah. If we just repeated them, like if I'd

00:07:47.460 say the same thing or if I'd say something completely different. Yeah. I mean, I was looking

00:07:51.260 through the Facebook questions. There's some solid ones. Oh no, there's, there's great questions in

00:07:55.480 there. No doubt. All right. Let's get to it. I was going to peek some of the guys on Facebook and say,

00:07:59.640 Hey, you know what? Your question was so good. Uh, you might be ready for the iron council.

00:08:03.740 You're ready for a scholarship in the iron council.

00:08:07.040 Based upon the quality of question. That's right. All right. Jay Carlson. What are some ways?

00:08:12.380 Actually, hold on. Hold on. Now my wheels are turning now. Are we coming up with an idea here?

00:08:17.160 Mid? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. If, if we have some Facebook questions and I'm like, that's a good

00:08:22.800 question. Then just know we're going to invite you to the iron council. So if you don't get an invite,

00:08:28.580 you know, your question wasn't up to bar, but if you get an invite, it means we liked your question.

00:08:34.320 All right. Yeah. Proceed. All right. Jay Carlson. What are some ways you are intentional

00:08:40.100 with your wives specifically in the area of communication? Well, you know, I set us,

00:08:47.300 I set time aside. My wife and I actually deliberately and intentionally set time aside

00:08:51.220 because I've noticed if we don't, everything gets in the way from school and kids and this

00:08:56.380 and that and business and everything will, will take precedent if you aren't deliberate and

00:09:02.320 intentional about it. So yeah, I think it's just as simple as saying to your wife, Hey hon,

00:09:08.320 after the kids are in bed, I'd, I'd really like to talk with you for a half an hour about

00:09:11.860 fill in the blank and talk with you. What do you mean?

00:09:17.580 No, seriously. What do you mean? I use that all the time. Yeah. I want to know what you mean

00:09:23.820 in the bedroom. Oh no, that's massage. That's like, Hey, I want to give you a massage, a back

00:09:28.820 massage. Is your neck hurt? Yeah, honey. Back massage is code for that. But talking is actually

00:09:34.900 code for talking here in this household. Oh, okay. I don't know how you guys do it in the

00:09:38.820 Sorenson household, but that's, that's how it works here. Well, actually now I know how you do it in

00:09:42.680 the Sorenson household. Honey, I have something to talk to you about kids. Watch TV, go to bed,

00:09:48.000 entertain yourselves for 10 minutes. Five. Is that what it is? Five minutes.

00:09:54.260 Because five minutes in heaven is better than no minutes in heaven.

00:09:58.560 Fair enough. Well said. Well said. Yeah. I, uh, that's it. That's, that's really it. Jay is just,

00:10:05.320 is just set time aside, making sure that you carve out the time and that you carve out the time,

00:10:11.460 right. That you actually think about, okay, like, when do I want to talk to my wife about these

00:10:15.260 things? And, and what do I want to address? And, you know, it's really easy to just plop your ass

00:10:19.840 on the couch and just turn on whatever it is you're going to watch. That's easy. It's easy to allow

00:10:24.960 even the kids to, to be a distraction. And, and I know the way I say it is kind of maybe, maybe comes

00:10:30.620 across a little harsh, but at times that's true. The kids can distract and, and, and take away from the

00:10:35.980 conversations and the time that you have with your wife. So, um, you know, I've had to remind my kids on

00:10:40.860 multiple occasions. Hey, you know, we're talking, please go in the other room and watch a show or

00:10:45.440 find a game or go outside. But right now this is mom and dad's time. So, uh, this is a common theme

00:10:52.100 that we talk about is communicating the expectation. Hey hon, I'd like to talk with you about X, Y,

00:10:56.680 and Z tonight, and then upholding the boundaries and the expectation, which is, Hey, when something

00:11:02.040 interjects, whether it's a phone call or she gets on the phone or the kids get in the way, it's like,

00:11:06.300 nope. Boundaries well-established. They've all been communicated. And now we honor the boundaries

00:11:11.360 and that's been very helpful for us. Yeah. Are there other areas that you're intentional? I mean,

00:11:16.080 I know specifically it's talking communication. Nope. That's the only way. That's the only time

00:11:19.260 I've ever intentional about my life. Uh, with my wife specifically. Yeah. Yeah, for sure. Like we do,

00:11:26.840 uh, Monday meetings that revolve specifically around finances. We actually haven't done this one in a

00:11:34.140 while, but we used to do a annual two to three day staycation, which is, you know, where we get away

00:11:41.500 somewhere locally. We'd, we'd get a hotel room for a couple of days or go up to Zion or something like

00:11:46.480 that. Uh, and then we would both spend time thinking about what we wanted to accomplish this

00:11:51.900 year. And then we w we would do this in the beginning of the year. And then we'd talk about

00:11:55.700 those things. Um, so yeah, those are a couple of areas. Yeah. That we've gotten away from it just

00:12:00.960 because life's busy, right? This is exactly what I'm talking about. And I think what Jay's hitting

00:12:05.100 on right here is life's busy and everything gets in the way. Uh, but that's actually a very good

00:12:09.000 practice and something that, well, we'll just get back to it this year as we get into a 2021.

00:12:15.400 Yeah. I like that. One thing that we did recently or are in the process of doing that I'm kind of,

00:12:21.020 I'm really excited about is, um, I've mentioned interest to Asia in the past of, of getting EMT certified.

00:12:29.240 Hmm. And for you or her, for me, for you, okay. And she's like, you know what? I have that same

00:12:34.580 interest. And so starting next month, we start classes and training for the rest of the year.

00:12:41.700 Actually it takes, it's like two times a week for a few hours each night. And by mid December,

00:12:49.520 we'll be certified EMTs. I'm super stoked about it. Yeah, man. That's really cool to be able to do

00:12:55.340 that together. Yeah. Yeah. I like that. Yeah. One other thing I was thinking about that we do,

00:13:00.360 that's a very cool idea. But one other thing I was thinking of is, uh, Trish and I usually,

00:13:04.500 I would say about 80% of the time eat lunch together. So, and I have the luxury of being

00:13:10.120 at home. I know it's not always the same, but you can take the principles that we sit down,

00:13:14.360 we eat lunch. She makes lunch for us. We sit down, we eat it. And we typically watch, you know,

00:13:17.740 like Tucker Carlson, we just catch his recaps and, or we just talk about whatever needs to be

00:13:23.440 addressed. And just that, you know, 25, 30 minutes or so is kind of a nice, uh, little reset to our

00:13:29.920 day. And some time that we have together, we do it in our, our dining room. If the kids come in,

00:13:34.720 it's like, Nope, this is our lunchtime. You go eat your lunch. Or if you're done with lunch,

00:13:39.500 go play outside. But this is lunch. Like you go do your thing. We're doing our thing right now. So

00:13:44.020 that's been helpful for us as well. I like it. All right. William Tanner,

00:13:49.000 my number one issue is emotional control. I'm good as long as I'm occupied with a task,

00:13:55.980 but when I'm not engaged in something, I tend to, to let fear, insecurity, uncertainty affect my mood,

00:14:02.780 which my girlfriend picks up on. I know that as a man, I'm expected to be stable. I'm expected to be

00:14:09.200 the stable one that provides safety, security through stability, and not discuss those fears

00:14:13.540 with my girlfriend. But when she asks what's wrong, I don't want to be dishonest and say nothing.

00:14:19.000 She has some anxiety issues of her own. And me talking about my own problems tends to set her

00:14:24.600 off in a very negative mindset. I struggle with a lot of trauma from the past, relationships,

00:14:30.200 addictions, and combat. And I've been journaling to try to dig through it all and unpack it.

00:14:35.800 I have a battle plan. I've been diligently working at it. My question is, are there any specific

00:14:40.920 practices or resources that you could recommend to help in this specific area of emotional maturity

00:14:46.980 and control? Thank you. Uh, what was his name? Dylan? William. Oh, William. William. Yeah. Um,

00:14:54.680 all right. A lot to unpack here. First, I got to say, there's a few false premises that you're

00:14:59.920 operating on. Okay. The first one, and this isn't the first one I heard. This one just stands out.

00:15:05.560 You said that you aren't quote unquote supposed to, I don't know if that's the language you use,

00:15:10.340 but you aren't supposed to talk with your wife about these things. That's wrong. It's flat out

00:15:16.240 wrong. You actually, that's your partner. You should be able to talk with your wife about these

00:15:21.460 things. Now there's a difference between the way men communicate and the way women communicate.

00:15:25.960 All right. So a woman, I'm just speaking generally, will communicate her feelings and her day and the

00:15:33.140 things that she's going through just for the sake of expressing them. And what she wants is she wants

00:15:39.320 support, right? Like I just want to be heard. I'm not trying to solve problems. I just want to

00:15:44.200 be heard. It's a very hard thing for men to wrap their heads around, but it is what it is. And you're

00:15:49.100 not supposed to understand women fully. Otherwise you'd probably be more like a woman. Well, the fact

00:15:53.580 that you're a man says you're not always going to going to understand that, but you know what?

00:15:56.840 Here's the cool thing, guys. We don't need to understand that in order to appreciate it and then act

00:16:03.600 accordingly. Like I don't understand why my wife would just vent at me, but I know that's what she

00:16:08.080 wants. And I'm capable enough to recognize that. And then just to act accordingly. And it works

00:16:13.480 better. All right. Here's how men communicate their problems as opposed to women and boys, by the

00:16:20.520 way, immature men. Okay. You have a problem, you express it, and then you start articulating the

00:16:29.160 solutions. Men are problem solvers. So look, your wife and for the women who are listening, I would say

00:16:35.780 there's five to 10% of our audience right now is women. I can guarantee that the majority of the

00:16:41.720 overwhelming majority of those women don't want to hear their husband sound like a woman,

00:16:45.860 like one of her girlfriends. Cause her girlfriend's going to come and say, Oh, I have this problem in

00:16:50.760 this deal. And then they're just supposed to sit there and talk and listen. And that seems strange

00:16:55.420 for men. What your woman is looking for is somebody who can be honest about what they're experiencing

00:17:01.100 and then fix your shit. Like she doesn't want to hear you gripe and moan and complain and bitch about

00:17:08.280 everything that's going wrong in your life. And with a sense of hopelessness and I don't know what

00:17:13.720 to do. Yeah. That's a feminine approach. A masculine approach is, Hey hon, you know what?

00:17:20.660 Man, I've been dealing with some things at work and I've got passed over for this promotion. It's very

00:17:24.400 frustrating to me. And I want you to know that if you've, if you felt some of that from me, it's because

00:17:29.300 I've been frustrated, not at you, but with my work situation. And I've been thinking a lot about what

00:17:34.360 I want to do. And here's my plan. See, now you just communicated your emotions and your feelings

00:17:41.900 and the way you were feeling about things without undermining your masculinity. Here's my plan. Here's

00:17:48.580 what I'm going to do. And then you communicate and you still maintain your sense of authority and

00:17:56.140 credibility in her eyes. And then by the way, you actually have to do it. Okay. You actually have

00:18:01.260 to execute the plan. So the first premise that is a little faulty here is that, Oh, you know,

00:18:07.080 she just doesn't want to hear my stuff. No, she wants that. She's your partner, dude.

00:18:11.720 She wants to hear what's going on. She just doesn't want to hear about it like a woman. That's what her

00:18:17.240 girlfriends are for. And if she doesn't have girlfriends, by the way, you need to help her

00:18:22.120 realize that she needs some girlfriends. I'm going to talk about this on our, our Friday field notes.

00:18:26.480 So make sure you check that out this coming Friday. Okay. So that's number one. The second

00:18:31.600 faulty premise is this idea of control. I want to control my emotions. I understand what you're

00:18:39.980 saying, but I want you to choose a different word. I want you to use the word, understand your

00:18:47.160 emotions. And as we always do, we're going to bring jujitsu into this thing. Okay. So I'm rolling

00:18:54.680 with my buddy Brody this morning and he's in my guard and I'm trying to control him, right? Like

00:19:01.460 grab his wrist, grab his head, control him. And how easy is that to do? It's not easy at all. It's not

00:19:09.240 easy. And I realized everything was tense. I was like, my arms were tense. My abs were tough. Like I got

00:19:14.580 my hips engaged. And like, you can only do that for so long. Like you can do it, but only for so

00:19:21.120 long. Cause the other guy's working just as hard against you. And instead of trying to control the

00:19:26.580 situation, relax, read the situation. So if he puts his hand here, you adjust here. If he adjust that,

00:19:36.500 then you adjust here. If he goes here, you go this way. If he shifts this way, you shift the other way.

00:19:41.120 Now you're not trying to control the situation, or in this case, your opponent, you're reading what

00:19:48.320 your opponent is doing. And then you're responding based on those reads to put you in a better

00:19:52.660 situation. Would you agree with that, that analogy with jujitsu? Okay. Totally. Right. I mean, it's

00:20:00.040 the classic make a frame and move you. Right. As opposed to them. You don't lift the person off of you.

00:20:08.040 If they mounted you, no, you use a frame, you create a boundary, and then you move yourself.

00:20:14.740 I was rolling with this guy. Luke is his name. And he's just getting started. He's a bodybuilder.

00:20:21.280 He's jacked. And he's very athletic. And so I pass his guard. Like I'm not nearly as athletic as this

00:20:28.760 guy, but I've got some jujitsu under my belt. So I pass his guard. I get inside control and he's just

00:20:34.160 pushing, pushing, right? Like he's like doing a bench press. Yeah. And, and he did it for about

00:20:41.680 two minutes and then he just got gassed. He was tired. And I stopped and I said, all right, look,

00:20:48.000 like you're a strong guy. Can you bench 200 pounds? He's like, yeah, no problem. I said,

00:20:52.780 good. Cause that's essentially what you're doing. You know, you're benching a hundred nine. That's

00:20:55.660 what I weigh. 195 pounds. You're, you're benching 195 pounds. How long do you think you can hold that

00:21:00.720 bench? Like if you were benching up, that'd be no problem. You can crank out 10, 15, 20 of those.

00:21:05.520 No problem. How long do you think you could hold it? He's like, I don't know a minute. I said,

00:21:09.940 exactly. And then you're dead. You're spent. Stop trying to push on me because I will just lay on you

00:21:17.140 and I don't have to do anything. And you're gassed. You're spent. So this is what we're talking about.

00:21:22.440 It's like, don't move the other person, move yourself. So how does this tie back into the emotional

00:21:25.880 thing? It's not about controlling your emotions, guys. This is what everybody will say. This is what

00:21:32.160 all the guys, the bros will say is like, control your emotions. No, no, no. Understand them. It's

00:21:38.740 more thoughtful than just control. Control is like domination. Thoughtfulness is like, oh, okay. I

00:21:45.800 understand what this emotion is trying to tell me. Greed, anger, resentment, jealousy, frustration,

00:21:51.940 sorrow, love, happiness, joy. What is it that I'm trying? What's the lesson to be extracted here?

00:22:00.840 Okay. I'm happy. Why am I happy? Because you're spending time with your family. Cool. Now, you know

00:22:06.440 to do that more. Or if you're guilty, why are you guilty? Because you didn't do what you thought you

00:22:12.760 should be doing and you weren't as effective as you knew you could be. All right. Don't dwell on the

00:22:16.780 guilt or try to like suppress the guilt. I don't want to feel this. No, feel it. Embrace

00:22:21.920 it. I'm guilty because I didn't perform. So tomorrow when I go into the office, I'm going

00:22:27.240 to perform at 110% to make up not only for today, but what I did yesterday. Now we're

00:22:32.720 more thoughtful. And then we can apply what we've learned through the feedback of emotion

00:22:38.220 to improve our lives. It's, this is the thing that I get so frustrated with about when people

00:22:44.740 talk about stoicism, people who don't understand stoicism, they'll say it's the suppression of

00:22:50.040 emotions. No, it isn't guys. That's not healthy. It's not healthy. It's the maturity to stop,

00:22:59.580 evaluate, and be thoughtful about what the emotion is teaching you so that you can act accordingly and

00:23:06.720 make a new choice. The next time an opportunity is, or a temptation is presented to you.

00:23:13.900 Yeah. They're to be understood, not controlled. Yeah. And I think the, the tie or the understanding

00:23:22.560 of the trigger or where the emotion might come from, or I, well, let me say this. I think it's

00:23:29.620 valuable to know where it might come from. Um, but not necessary, but what I do think is, is,

00:23:35.120 is it true? Because far too often, if I look at situations when I've gotten in, in fights,

00:23:43.660 emotional fights with my wife, it's not true, right? Like she does X, I interpret it as Y,

00:23:53.100 and I'm reacting as though she said what, how I interpret it, which is not true.

00:23:59.280 Oh, that I made that up due to some other trigger and you know, how I was raised and when I was a

00:24:05.120 kid or whatever. And sometimes you have to pause for a second and say, okay, I'm feeling this way.

00:24:11.540 Why is that accurate? Does this serve the situation? Is this good? And then what's beautiful about this

00:24:18.380 too, for, from William's perspective is he can go back to his wife and say, I feel really upset.

00:24:24.660 I'm not sure why maybe, but when this occurred, man, I totally got this flood of emotions. And,

00:24:32.540 and I interpret is, is this, I'm sorry. I'm out of integrity for judging you incorrectly.

00:24:38.300 Sorry about that. What's great. She now understands maybe a little bit of the trigger. You're aware of

00:24:43.840 where their emotion may have came from. And what did you just allow her to do her emotions? And next

00:24:51.460 time she has a negative mindset, she might learn from your example and go, Hmm, is that valid?

00:24:57.920 Right. Where's that coming from? And be able to deal with it appropriately, not just, Oh,

00:25:03.280 this is how I feel. So thus it is. Right. And it's like, man, sometimes that's not true.

00:25:09.260 Feelings are, um, understand what I'm saying here, guys. Feelings are weak.

00:25:14.940 Okay. I'm not saying they're wrong. I'm just saying they're, they're weak, meaning that they're,

00:25:23.440 they're flippant. You know, they come in and out. Sometimes you feel this way. 10 seconds later,

00:25:28.960 you're going to feel that way. And they're just a part of the story. Totally. It's just, it's,

00:25:35.340 it's just incomplete. And so if you're making your decisions based on emotion, I mean, we see this in

00:25:41.740 generally in society too, right? You see these, these rioters and these looters, and they're so

00:25:46.720 emotional and they're so hopped up. It's like, wait a second. I understand, you know, you've

00:25:52.000 interpreted a set of experiences and you've interpreted them as, as negative or, or an attack

00:26:00.500 or some sort of assault on you. I get that, but let's take some other factors into consideration

00:26:06.640 and round out this thought process. These are frankly, these are immature people.

00:26:11.920 You know, my, my children do the same thing. Kip years do too. When my four-year-old doesn't get

00:26:15.980 what he wants, he acts emotionally. He'll, he'll bite and he'll scratch and he'll kick or he'll

00:26:22.920 stomp his feet on the ground and, and throw a temper tantrum and cry. And it's emotional. That's it.

00:26:29.400 There's no logic. And we expect that from four-year-old children. We just don't expect it from adults

00:26:35.020 because hopefully they would have learned, but these people have never learned by the way,

00:26:39.520 being emotional, it's not serving you. It's not helping you. It's not even helping your cause.

00:26:46.680 It's undermining everything that you pretend to be emotional about or outraged about. So

00:26:52.080 use it as a metric and then round it out with some logic and reasoning and margin and space and

00:26:59.880 consideration and thoughtfulness. All right. We got that one. Good.

00:27:03.180 Yeah. Totally. All right. Jordan Shank, are there differences between confidence and self-worth?

00:27:12.540 How does one find their self-worth? I have a friend that doesn't feel that they

00:27:16.680 have any self-worth. He says that he hates himself and doesn't feel like he has anything to add to

00:27:22.780 society and that he will not be missed. Helping him find his self-worth and confidence would change

00:27:29.020 everything. Okay. So there's a lot here. So there's a lot of reasons he could feel this way.

00:27:35.380 It could be that there's some sort of mental illness. Let's just address that. There could be

00:27:39.800 a mental illness here. And if that's the case, then that needs to be clinically

00:27:43.780 dealt with and addressed. It could be that he needs attention. That could be another thing. Like he just,

00:27:51.960 he doesn't feel like he's getting enough attention. So he wants to say things that he knows will get

00:27:57.900 attention, right? Like if somebody, if somebody threatens to, to kill themselves, they're going

00:28:03.360 to get some attention, right? Like it's going to get some attention from people. And that might be

00:28:07.160 what they're after. Yeah. Or it might also mean that he actually feels like this. And if that's the case,

00:28:13.180 I'm going to say something that's not going to be popular. Maybe he's right.

00:28:18.820 That's not popular. Oh, Ryan, how could you say that? How could you be so insensitive? And

00:28:26.080 that's the reality. Like you have to earn confidence. You don't get to just have it.

00:28:32.780 You guys will say, my wife doesn't trust me with this new venture. It's like, yeah,

00:28:36.960 why should she? Would you trust you with this new venture? No. Well, why are you expecting her to?

00:28:42.080 Well, cause she married me. Does that mean she has to blindly follow you into whatever battle you

00:28:47.140 decide to go into? Of course not. Like it's her livelihood as well, right? So how do you develop

00:28:53.580 confidence? You earn it by doing things that you didn't previously think you could do

00:29:00.460 or had no desire to. Yeah. If you woke up this morning and you said, I really don't want to go

00:29:08.380 for a run today. Like I really don't want to go for a run today. And then you went for a run

00:29:13.700 after the run, you'd be more confident. If you woke up this morning and you said, man, I just,

00:29:20.760 it's five 30. I don't want to get out of bed and go to jujitsu, which is what I tell myself every

00:29:25.300 morning at five 30. And then I get up and I go do it. I'm done. And I'm more confident.

00:29:31.800 Inevitably, man, I really don't want to have that conversation with my wife. I really don't want to

00:29:38.540 have that conversation with my boss. And then you go do it. And then you're more confident because

00:29:43.880 you earned the right to be confident about your ability to move forward in the face of not wanting

00:29:49.800 to do it. So if I was in your shoes and I was talking with my friend, Kip, if you were my friend

00:29:58.720 who was struggling, that's a big if by the way, about being my friend, you got it. Just making

00:30:05.480 sure you got that. If you were my friend and you were struggling, I would talk with you and I'd say,

00:30:12.900 Hey man, like, have there been some things that you've like always wanted to do or accomplish

00:30:16.860 or like, Hey, have you ever shot a bow before? Have you ever done jujitsu before? Have you ever

00:30:24.000 shot a firearm? Have you ever done a podcast? Have you ever got behind a microphone and just

00:30:29.240 talked before? Have you ever done that? Like I would take everything that I'm interested in

00:30:33.420 and I would see if I could get you interested in it. You're like, no, I've never shot a bow before.

00:30:39.660 Hey, come over to my house tonight at six. I want to show you a couple of things. It's actually pretty

00:30:44.000 fun. It's like, I'm, I'm not trying to like win you over. I'm not trying to do a therapy session

00:30:49.660 on you or whatever. Like, I'm just like, come over and shoot, like come shoot a bow and you come over

00:30:54.520 and you shoot a bow. I guarantee you're going to feel better. Even if you don't like it, you're still

00:31:00.140 going to feel better because you did it. And what a powerful opportunity I have to get you involved

00:31:05.760 in not only something that I like, but start getting you to think about things that you might enjoy

00:31:10.180 man. Like guys, I don't think we realize how powerful we truly are. If we just spend a little

00:31:17.280 time thinking about other people and what they need and how to motivate themselves. Look, here's

00:31:24.460 what the doctrine of popular culture. And I'm going to like, I'm going to trademark that phrase. You

00:31:29.520 guys have heard me say this. The doctrine of popular culture tells me to tell you Kip is my friend

00:31:35.140 who's struggling Kip, you're enough. You're enough. You're special. You're, you're good just

00:31:42.600 the way you are. And you're a beautiful soul. And then you hear all that and you feel good for five

00:31:47.300 seconds. And then you go home and you're like, I don't feel like that, man. I feel shitty. I feel

00:31:53.920 worthless. I feel hopeless. People don't like me. I have no skills. And now we have this internal

00:32:00.160 conflict that's conflicting. And I actually made matters worse because I told you it was okay to

00:32:06.640 be a pathetic loser. Well, Kip, it's not okay. And I don't need to rub it in your face and say,

00:32:12.440 yeah, you should feel like shit because you're a loser. Instead, as your friend, I should try to

00:32:18.020 foster growth and expansion and progress in you. And when you say, man, Ryan, I'm just not feeling good

00:32:24.020 about who I am and how I'm doing. My response should be, Hey, do you know how to cook ribs?

00:32:30.160 It's like, what's that got to do with anything? It has everything to do with it. Come over tonight

00:32:35.360 and I'll teach you how to make a great rub for the ribs. And then we'll have some dinner.

00:32:42.760 I'm not going to therapy session you. I'm not going to ask you about what's going on. I'm going

00:32:46.220 to teach you a skill. I'm going to teach you something you've never done before as trivial as

00:32:52.580 it may be. And you're going to feel better. This is how, this is how men operate, get to work

00:32:58.600 and get your buddies involved in work. And they're going to feel better about it. I promise

00:33:03.000 you, they're going to feel better about it. Don't therapy them. I'm telling you, don't therapy

00:33:07.100 them. If there's mental illness, go get some, look, I'm not a medical professional. If there's

00:33:11.960 mental illness, I would, and I've fact, I've had all kinds of emails from men who were like, Hey,

00:33:16.860 Ryan, what should I do in this situation? I'm like, bro, based on what you're saying, I really,

00:33:21.380 really would encourage you to get some, some medical therapy. And I've had other emails where

00:33:26.740 I'm like, go run a marathon, like go train for a marathon. And I try to read what they need. And I

00:33:33.380 think, I think you can do that too. Totally. Would you agree that there's a point here where that lack

00:33:39.460 of concurrency is, is because of integrity of some sort? Yeah. It's the integrity gap. Like we've

00:33:46.020 talked about, right? I know I'm capable of better and I'm not. That's not depression though. Right.

00:33:51.560 So that's the difference, what you're saying here. Keep going. I don't want to interrupt, but

00:33:54.860 no, I just want to make that distinction. I think we could build skills and get confidence,

00:34:01.280 but, but I do think that eventually, I think you get some confidence through some exercises and doing

00:34:07.900 certain things. And eventually you're going to get to a point where your, your self-worth is tied to

00:34:15.480 your integrity and you're congruent or, or out of integrity with oneself when you're not living a

00:34:22.500 fulfilled life, when you know you're capable of better. And, and, and, and eventually you're going

00:34:27.560 to have to get to that point of like, you know, cause the phrase I like here that he wrote is

00:34:31.920 doesn't feel like he has anything to add to society. I have to ask myself and eventually Jordan's

00:34:38.160 friend should ask himself, am I adding anything to society? And if the answer is no, then do

00:34:46.200 something. Well, and as a friend, so guys get trapped in this all the time and, and I've, I've

00:34:52.960 appeared cold at times in my life because of this, but I've, I've tried to mature on this level.

00:34:57.660 If you recognize somebody who's feeling like that, again, I'm, I'm barring mental illness here.

00:35:02.780 Okay. So, but if you are clinical depression, right? Like chronic and clinical depression is

00:35:07.940 different. But if you have a friend who's experiencing that, I want you to know it's not

00:35:13.820 your job as a brother. And I'm using brother loosely, not like, not biological brother, but a

00:35:18.720 brother, you got, you get it. A brother in arms. It's not your job to make them feel good about that.

00:35:25.920 That's where people mess up. Right. And so you come to me and you're like, and you're like,

00:35:30.280 like I said earlier, Oh, Ryan, you're, you're so wonderful. And it's like, dude, don't pander.

00:35:34.480 All right. Don't, don't do that to me because you know, I know in this case, like I don't want

00:35:39.900 to be pandered to, it makes me feel worse. So instead your job is not to make your brother feel

00:35:46.240 good about it. Your job is to help him develop skills to improve. So he actually has something

00:35:52.420 to add. And that's why I was saying like, get him involved in your stuff. Hey, let's go.

00:35:57.960 Have you ever lifted weights? Like I'm getting into power lifting and it's been a lot of fun.

00:36:02.420 Why don't you just come with me tonight? Yeah. Who knows, man, you may turn him onto something that

00:36:07.540 he just latches onto and he's off to the races and his life is transformed because you said,

00:36:13.800 come lift weights with me. Not, Hey, no, you're special the way you are. That's such a problem,

00:36:20.060 man. It really is a problem in society. It bothers me a lot. Yeah, totally. All right.

00:36:27.880 Uh, Kale Mulever starting somebody, by the way, Kip said, I guarantee you pronounce that incorrectly,

00:36:36.400 but somebody the other day said, you guys both suck at pronouncing names. All right, good. We're

00:36:44.080 out in the air now. Everybody gets it. We're out of the closet with name pronunciation. So deal with it.

00:36:49.880 Severe County in Paraguay did not serve us well. Truth. Um, now with that same, in that same, uh,

00:36:58.980 related to that same comment though, is someone said, Hey, you pronounced my name wrong. However,

00:37:04.900 based upon the spelling, you pronounce it correct. I'm like, Oh, so now I'm supposed to understand like

00:37:10.680 culture and you know, how Danes pronounce something, even though you spelled the name wrong,

00:37:16.160 you're the one that got into this podcasting game. Uh, you want to be in this game. You take

00:37:20.620 responsibility for understanding culture and the way that names are pronounced. You're talking about

00:37:26.120 Rex Houston, Houston, Houston. It looks like Houston. I've said, I actually, I sent Rex a message and I'm

00:37:34.200 like, I didn't even know your name was Houston. I've said Houston. He's like, Oh, I never heard you

00:37:39.540 say it. I only heard Kip say it wrong. Oh, I see how it is. All right. Kale, Kale Mulever, Mulever

00:37:48.180 starting from zero. Should I conquer my debt simultaneously while saving or kill debt first?

00:37:55.360 What about practice saving and using savings as an amount to crush debt? I'm actually really glad

00:38:00.560 he brought this up because I did a podcast called brace for impact. This was about two weeks ago. And I

00:38:05.260 think I listed roughly seven or eight strategies that you should use and employ over the next several

00:38:10.180 months as we gear up for what I believe is going to be a very violent, chaotic November, November.

00:38:20.460 Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Especially with, uh, Ruth Bader Ginsburg passing away, which throws another wrench

00:38:26.600 in the system. Okay. One of the comments that I made is that you should pay off debt in addition to,

00:38:33.280 you know, securing your house and getting training and getting firearms, stacking cash,

00:38:36.260 all that kind of stuff. Right. And a bunch of people came back and said, well, you know,

00:38:39.400 if the world's going to go to shit, then you shouldn't pay off your debt. And there's two

00:38:43.960 reasons why that isn't accurate. The first reason is you incurred it. I feel like being a man of

00:38:49.840 integrity is a good thing. Number two, the world is not going to go to shit. I didn't say that the

00:38:57.140 world is going to end. I said, it's going to be very violent. And there's going to be some reasons

00:39:01.140 why you want to have some cash set aside and why you want to train yourself and why you want to

00:39:06.300 defend your family and your household and yourself. That doesn't mean the world is going

00:39:11.120 to end. If the world was going to end. And I was telling you that to go back to what we talked

00:39:15.080 about several weeks ago, I would be a cult leader. And of course, if I thought I was going to die on

00:39:20.320 Friday, if I legitimately honestly thought that I was going to die on Friday or that the United States

00:39:26.500 of America was going to collapse as we knew it on Friday, of course, I would not recommend that I

00:39:31.840 make a $5,000 deposit to any debt that I may have outstanding. Of course, I'm just saying over the

00:39:40.340 longer term, it's a good idea to get yourself out from under the thumb of the financial institutions

00:39:46.440 that would love nothing more than to keep you subjected to all the interest that you're paying

00:39:51.660 on all your cars and your medical bills and your this and your that and everything else that you have.

00:39:56.500 So to answer this question, I would say that you ought to have a, an adequate amount of money

00:40:08.020 set aside before you aggressively start paying off debt. And here's why let's just assume for the sake

00:40:16.360 of argument that I have $50,000 in consumer debt between cars, medical bills, personal loans,

00:40:23.540 whatever it might be $50,000. I don't know what the average is, but I imagine it's somewhere around

00:40:28.860 there. Well, if I start it, let's let, and let's say, I'm going to back up here. Let's say on that

00:40:34.900 $50,000, the amount that I have to pay on a monthly basis, I'm just going for easy math here. So don't

00:40:40.120 math check me here, but it's just, just arbitrary numbers that I'm paying a thousand dollars a month to

00:40:45.180 service that debt. Okay. If I start making $2,000 payments and I do that for a year, then I made

00:40:53.360 $24,000 extra in payments, right? So that means that I owe $24,000 less, 26,000 minus any principle

00:41:02.140 that was being applied for my thousand. So let's just say now I owe 20,000. Again, don't check my math

00:41:08.560 here. Okay. Now in 12 months, I lose my job or my kid breaks his leg or the transmission on the truck

00:41:20.500 goes out or any, or COVID-19 hits or any number of things that could potentially happen. Do you think

00:41:29.300 if I lost my job, we'll take that scenario that I could go back to the financial institutions and I'd

00:41:33.320 say, yeah, you know what? You know what bank of America, man, I've been paying you all this money

00:41:39.140 and I don't have a job now. I would like to get some of that money back that I paid that I overpaid

00:41:45.300 to you because I don't have a job. And like, it would really help me make the bills. You think bank

00:41:51.520 of America is going to say, oh yeah, good point. Let me go ahead and send you a check for $20,000

00:41:56.200 or $24,000. Of course not. Now here's what they might do. Oh, we'll give you $20,000,

00:42:05.060 10% interest on this $20,000. So they love that. They love it. All right. So it's good. This is why

00:42:15.360 I tell people who aggressively want to pay off their homes. I'm like, slow down a little bit.

00:42:20.940 Just slow down a little bit. Take some of your discretionary income. Sure. If you've got the

00:42:25.020 discretionary income and you're in the position, pay the home down. I'm on a 15 year note personally,

00:42:29.340 you know, so because we're in the financial position to be able to do that. Not everybody's

00:42:33.020 there. I get it. It's just slow down a little bit. Stay, set some money aside. If in 10 years,

00:42:39.060 you say, well, my goal is to pay my house off in 10 years. Well, if you've got $150,000, $200,000

00:42:43.360 set in account somewhere, there's nothing to keep you from going to the bank and saying, Hey, you know,

00:42:47.860 I just want to pay this thing in full. And right now at $120,000 or $200,000 check.

00:42:51.940 But in the meantime, you create some more flexibility for yourself just in case something

00:42:57.860 happens where you need some of that money. So very long answer. This is my financial planning

00:43:04.060 background. Speaking to you now, very long answer to tell you that you should have adequate savings.

00:43:09.160 What is adequate? I would say six months of expenses, maybe three on the low side. I think

00:43:18.160 that's low, but three to six months of expenses set aside for a rainy day, put it, put into a bank

00:43:24.960 account. I'm not talking about an investment. I'm just saying in a bank account, doing its thing,

00:43:29.440 cash, they're available, maybe even some cash on hand. And then if you have any discretionary income

00:43:35.080 outside of that, then you can start applying it towards debt. Once you hit that, then you can get

00:43:39.220 more aggressive about paying off the debt. So yeah, I'm not one to say, especially if you have no money

00:43:45.900 set aside, dump all your money into, into debt. That's a stupid idea. And it sets you up for all

00:43:51.500 sorts of potential failures when variables in life come up and they will come up. We don't know

00:43:56.900 what they're going to be or when they're going to happen, but they're going to come up. And so we

00:43:59.740 need to be prepared for it. And you don't want those variables, just you having to use a credit card

00:44:04.580 again because of an emergency and then getting into more debt, right? Right. Because a thousand

00:44:08.560 dollars is going to cost you $2,000. Yeah. Copy. Dwayne Smith. Good name. That's a solid name there.

00:44:15.680 Actually, it's Dwayne. I'm just kidding. Proceed. Dwayne. All right. Hey, Ryan and Kip. I'm 20 years

00:44:27.260 old and new to the Iron Council and I'm finding my way around pretty well. I train dogs for a living

00:44:32.900 and it's my full-time job. My question, I've been wanting to start my own dog training business with

00:44:38.320 my fiancee later down the road and her main worry is not being able to split work from home life.

00:44:45.100 Curious on your guys' thoughts far as taking these things through, talking these things through and

00:44:51.420 instead of bringing something negative into the work and home. Yeah. You know, look, there's a lot of

00:45:00.180 crossover, obviously with my professional and personal life. I work here out of the house. My

00:45:05.000 family is here, you know, we do homeschooling. So like everything personally is here in our home.

00:45:11.700 And also I'm in the podcast studio, which happens to be a bedroom, you know, a repurposed bedroom

00:45:17.700 in our home. So I can certainly appreciate what you're saying. I know a lot of guys, especially now

00:45:23.440 in the wake of COVID are working from home and finding it difficult. The answer is just having

00:45:27.920 boundaries. That's all it is. You know, communicate with your wife. Uh, sounds like she's on board,

00:45:33.620 which I love. That's awesome. She wants to do it with you. That's amazing. Uh, and she's on board

00:45:37.800 with it. It sounds like I would just say that you guys communicate with each other and figure out some

00:45:42.400 boundaries and don't allow each other to cross those boundaries. If, Hey hon, we're going to work

00:45:46.460 from nine to six and we're going to take a two hour lunch break in the middle. And we're going to,

00:45:51.820 after we're done, we're done. We're putting the phones away or return. Then great. If it's,

00:45:55.660 Hey, we're going to do all this personal stuff during the day. And we're going to work on,

00:45:59.920 on these, you know, the dog training at night. Cool. Whatever it is. I don't know what it is,

00:46:04.420 whatever it is for you, just communicate it and then ensure that each of you are sticking to it.

00:46:09.360 And the third point. So the first point is communicate. Second point is commit to it.

00:46:13.800 Third point is check in, always check in. This is what a lot of guys miss. You have to check in.

00:46:20.540 I had a great conversation with my podcast editor. Um, I, I talked with him. There was some

00:46:26.720 miscommunications. Didn't get after him for any reason. I wasn't mad. I just, there was some

00:46:31.620 miscommunications. So we knew what they were and it seems like that had changed. So I got on the

00:46:36.400 phone with him and I said, Hey, if things changed, what do we need to do here? We got back on the same

00:46:40.120 page. And I also asked him, and he's listening to this podcast right now. Cause he edits this podcast.

00:46:45.400 I asked him, I said, how are you feeling about our arrangement? How are you feeling about the work

00:46:50.580 and what you're doing? Cause I want to know if he's not happy with it. I need to know because

00:46:55.080 either I need to make sure that we're doing things that he will be satisfied with, or I need to look

00:46:59.840 at some alternatives. The last thing I want is in a month, if he's not happy to get blindsided with

00:47:04.820 this. So the three part formula is communicate the expectations. You work together with her on that.

00:47:10.640 Step number two, uphold the expectations. If things go wrong or things go off, or there's

00:47:16.900 some boundaries being crossed, you've got to, you got to uphold them. And then the third point is,

00:47:21.780 are you still satisfied with these expectations and these boundaries? Cause if it's not working,

00:47:25.820 I want to know, and maybe we can adjust and tweak to ensure that they are. It's a very,

00:47:30.120 very simple three part formula, but I guarantee you that it's going to save you all sorts of headache

00:47:34.880 and potentially in this case, even your marriage.

00:47:37.760 Yeah, totally. And I think those, that three part formula is applicable to

00:47:42.420 project management, client expectations, everything. Yes. But don't miss that third

00:47:47.860 part. Cause sometimes what I know guys will do is that, and I've done this is they won't check in

00:47:54.180 because they, they've bought into the idea that ignorance is bliss. Yeah. It's only bliss until it

00:48:00.920 blows up in your face. So I would rather know and have an uncomfortable conversation and get

00:48:07.340 real with somebody and them say, Nope, it's not working for me. And I don't, I'm out. I'd rather

00:48:12.300 know that now than trying to figure that out and then scramble for everything that I needed to do.

00:48:18.700 Most of the time you're going to find out that, yeah, the expectations are great. Good, cool.

00:48:22.880 We'll maintain the court, but you've got to know that stuff. Don't allow yourself to be blindsided.

00:48:27.260 Yeah. Copy. And I think you, I I'm assuming you'd agree, Ryan, Dwayne, uh, the, the benefits will

00:48:34.440 outweigh the difficulties of establishing boundaries, like, uh, tax perspective, you being able to grab

00:48:42.140 lunch midday with your spouse because you're working from home. Like it it's worth it. Yeah.

00:48:48.220 So the other thing I would say for Dwayne here from a marketing perspective, because you said down

00:48:52.440 the road, we'd like to do this, start talking about it on social media right now. Yeah. You know,

00:48:58.020 you've, I'm assuming you have dogs. So start posting videos of you training your dog and you

00:49:04.380 getting your dog to do certain things that people would be like, Oh, that's cool. Start now because

00:49:09.180 then what, what'll happen? Here's what'll happen. If you start now and you do a good job at this in six

00:49:15.020 months, you'll start getting requests. Might not even take that long. Hey, how did you do that?

00:49:20.020 How did you get your dog to do that thing? And you're like, Oh, I did this. And what you'll

00:49:25.760 notice is you'll notice reoccurring questions. And then what you do, Dwayne, is you put together a

00:49:30.560 course. All right. It's a 30 day or a 60 day, or it's a 90 day course. And it might be what I would

00:49:38.320 do personally is I would do 30 days to dog obedience, something like that, or, or puppy training 30,

00:49:44.860 30 day self self self taught puppy training. And then you walk them through the basics of sit,

00:49:52.720 stay, heal, whatever, whatever it is you train them. And you just do some videos. You set up a

00:49:59.140 Facebook group. You have some assignments for them. You're off to the races, but you've got to do it

00:50:04.100 now. Do it today. Start sharing now because in three months, if you do this consistently, and I,

00:50:09.000 when I say consistently, I'm saying every day or every couple of days, you're making new posts about

00:50:13.440 dog training and obedience. And basically you're just documenting your life and how you train your

00:50:17.720 dogs. I guarantee if you do this well, that people are going to say, Hey, I need some of that for my

00:50:23.900 new puppy. I just got, or I have this, I've got this old dog and he's a great dog, but he's, you know,

00:50:30.100 he's stubborn. Okay. They're going to start asking you, if you do it now, you'll be in the position to

00:50:35.160 be able to build this thing to what it needs to needs to be. Cool. All right. Abby Nash,

00:50:40.760 do you have the desire for a male best friend? I almost skipped this question, but I thought,

00:50:46.380 oh, that's actually interesting conversation. Cause I, I wonder how many guys, I don't know,

00:50:52.380 feel like they don't have a best friend and that's something that seems missing for them or I don't

00:50:58.800 know. No, I don't, I don't think generally the idea of besties or BFFs really resonates with men,

00:51:05.300 you know, like it does with women. Yeah. So personally, he's, since he's asking, like,

00:51:11.520 I have no, I don't have a desire to have like a best friend, but I do want people I can.

00:51:18.080 You have, but you would say that you have the equivalent of that just across multiple guys,

00:51:23.780 or is it? Yeah. Yeah. Or, or certain guys in only certain aspects of life.

00:51:28.860 Well, you know, I like, I know I like, yes, I know I like to bust your balls about things,

00:51:32.760 but Kip, I would actually consider you a friend, right? Like if, if I need to heard it. Yeah. You

00:51:37.760 heard it here. I actually, Cody, you're listening to this. Will you please edit that out of the

00:51:41.680 podcast? Take that out. So, you know, like if I needed to confide in you with a certain advice

00:51:49.980 from organization to running a business, to leading a family, these are all things that I,

00:51:54.880 I've, I highly respect you in. And, and those are things I would reach out to you about.

00:52:00.080 There's other men in my life who I would reach out to about other situations or scenarios that

00:52:04.940 I might run across. So I don't think of it so much as like this idea, like I said earlier,

00:52:10.240 of besties, you know, like an all encompassing. Yeah. But I think of it as, you know, this is my

00:52:15.160 band of brothers, board of advisors, you know, guys that I confide in men that I respect in certain

00:52:21.960 elements and aspects of their lives. And I do make a very conscious and deliberate effort about

00:52:27.240 fostering these types of relationships. Absolutely. Because I think it's important.

00:52:31.120 That's why we continue to have conversations on a weekly basis, actually more often than that.

00:52:35.660 That's why Pete Roberts and Brian Littlefield and the men that I roll with at jujitsu and other men

00:52:40.920 that I have conversations with, it's very important to me, you know? So yeah, you can,

00:52:49.200 you can interpret that how you want, if you want to consider that a best friend or the way that I

00:52:54.940 choose to interpret it as I've, I've got a solid band of brothers that I can rely on based on what

00:52:59.880 it is I, I need in the moment. And also by the way, what they need, like I'm trying to add just as

00:53:04.620 much value to their lives as I hope they would add to mine. Totally. Do you wonder, I wonder if

00:53:10.820 the concept of, and Nash, we're totally like looking into your question way more than,

00:53:17.500 than what you asked, but I'm curious if the concept of a best friend sometimes might mean

00:53:24.620 someone that they're truly open with. And, and not that you're not that way with other people,

00:53:30.700 but I wonder if some guys think, oh, well, that's what the best friend is. Everyone else I'm superficial

00:53:36.000 with. And I'm not truly like myself around them, but a best friend I would be. Do you think guys

00:53:43.580 think that way at all? That's hard for me to say. Like I've never, I've never had like what I would

00:53:49.480 say a best friend. Uh, and I don't have a whole lot of friends, frankly. Yeah. Because, because I'm

00:53:57.940 just not friendly because you're the, you're the asshole on the airplane going, don't talk to me.

00:54:03.940 Exactly. Because I, here's a mask, but here's why full disclosure, there aren't a whole lot of men

00:54:11.420 I resonate with. Like I, I want, I want to be around people that want to be the best at everything

00:54:17.760 they do from their hobbies and their activities to their family life, to their business. Uh, there's

00:54:23.460 a guy that I kind of know of. And, you know, I heard some things through the grapevine about how

00:54:28.580 this person performed. Like, I don't want anything to do with that guy. Like maybe he's great in these

00:54:32.960 areas, but like there's, there's, there's an integrity gap. There's a, there's a deficiency

00:54:37.580 there. And I'm not, I'm not interested in that. And I'm not saying the guys I'm spend time with are

00:54:41.380 perfect. I'm not saying nobody's perfect. I'm certainly not, but they're on a path. Yeah. And those

00:54:47.420 are the people I'm going to invest in. And I'm going to make a look. Part of the reason I came to Maine

00:54:51.620 is because this is where origin is. And Pete Roberts is, and this, that pizza guy that I know

00:54:57.320 obviously much more has come of the relationship and I've met so many more people and there's been

00:55:01.320 some unintended and positive benefits of being out here, but I'm deliberate. I'm intentional.

00:55:06.340 If I'm doing something, it's because I've thought like, this is, I've played it out in my mind why

00:55:10.800 this would be a good thing or potentially good thing. Yeah. Yeah, totally. Yeah. I've, I've even let

00:55:17.380 go of relationships, you know, like, like guys that I would consider friends and, and I, not that I

00:55:23.420 wouldn't consider them friends now, but the amount of involvement I have with them is almost non-existent.

00:55:29.620 And it's just cause we're just on different paths, you know, like, and it's okay. No hard

00:55:34.700 feelings, but there's what they deem important or whatever. It just isn't important to me anymore.

00:55:38.960 Exactly. And then focus on something else. Yeah. I would say rather than focusing on the term

00:55:45.200 and maybe you're not, maybe you're just using that term to describe it, but rather than focusing

00:55:48.700 on the term of best friend, consider what is it that I want and what is it that I can give in

00:55:53.000 exchange for that? Yeah. Copy. All right. Marty Westerlund, how can I start a weight loss

00:56:00.480 and nutrition program and stick with it without quitting the battle plan? Are these, are these

00:56:06.640 still iron council questions? No, we're in a Facebook. Well, join the iron council.

00:56:11.940 I knew it was Facebook questions. Cause it's like, if he was an iron council,

00:56:17.900 he would have already answered the question. Yeah. This is something that guys have all the

00:56:22.940 times. Like, so that battle ready program guys, if you're not familiar with it, really go check

00:56:28.380 it out. We've had close to 10,000 men go through the program at this point or in the middle of it.

00:56:32.740 It's at, or it is awesome. It's an order of man.com slash battle ready. And over a period of 30 days,

00:56:38.160 it's going to tell you exactly what you need to do in order to build up the systems and the programs

00:56:44.060 and the processes, and then take action towards what it is you want. And it's going to help you

00:56:48.040 identify what you want to sounds like you already know what you want. Uh, so one of the things that

00:56:54.320 I do in that email series is one of the first emails you get, you get, we'll say, you know,

00:56:59.000 what's, what's your biggest struggle as, as it relates to becoming a sovereign man,

00:57:04.680 taking ownership of your life. Uh, and without question, the number one answer is discipline

00:57:09.880 followed very closely by consistency, which is actually discipline. Yeah. Same synonymous,

00:57:15.640 right? In this case. So this isn't uncommon. Um, but the best way to do that is to do the battle

00:57:22.380 plan. This is exactly why I did it. The thing that I've always struggled with is my weight up and down.

00:57:26.680 I'll eat all the food that I see in front of me. I don't have any problem working out. I don't have

00:57:30.700 any problem reading. I don't have any problem, you know, train any of this stuff, nothing,

00:57:33.800 no problems with that. Eating is tough. I want to eat everything that I see. And so I'm like this,

00:57:40.360 I truly like I'm up and down, I'm all over the place, but the bat, I created the battle plan,

00:57:45.340 not for you, Kip, not for anybody. I created it because this is what I needed in my life to

00:57:49.400 keep me on track. And over the past five years now, I've kept 50 plus pounds off and, you know,

00:57:57.340 done some pretty cool things in my life because I have the system. So the system is already created.

00:58:03.140 You just need to plug into it. So guys, if you're listening to this and you're like, yeah,

00:58:07.700 I have the same problem. You need to go to order a man.com slash battle ready. And it's going to walk

00:58:12.240 you through everything. It's the short answer of what you need is you need a vision. You need clear

00:58:19.340 set specific goals and objectives. You need to break it down into actionable daily tactics. And then you

00:58:26.680 need a way to track it and you need somebody to hold you accountable. It's like those five factors

00:58:32.260 and I'll walk you through all of it. There you go, Marty, Brian real. What are the best ways to

00:58:39.680 establish yourself as a manager slash leader after being with the same group of employees for an

00:58:45.480 extended period of time? Get better, get better than them. Now look, and I'm not saying it's like a

00:58:53.140 competition or you're trying to push them down, but Excel, I was thinking about this. You know,

00:58:57.680 if you're on a, if you're going on a race, okay, you're, you're on a race with somebody

00:59:01.060 and just bear with the analogy. It's not perfect. Cause this is not necessarily a competition,

00:59:05.380 but I think it'll prove the point. You're in a race with somebody. If you're walking just a half

00:59:11.720 step faster than they are, or running a half step faster than they are after a hundred yards,

00:59:16.660 you might be a body length ahead of them. After 200 yards, you're probably going to be

00:59:23.000 a body and a half or three body lengths ahead of them. After a thousand yards, you're going to be

00:59:28.580 like 20 body. It's exponential growth. So most people aren't going to do that. Most people are

00:59:35.100 just going to do the bare minimum. They're going to do what's required. They're going to punch in at

00:59:39.120 the right time. They're going to punch out at the right time. They aren't going to go above and

00:59:42.340 beyond. They aren't going to exceed the expectation. And what they'll say is, oh,

00:59:47.260 they don't pay me to do that. Right. Right. And isn't that a beautiful thing? Because now you get

00:59:53.800 to take that half step forward because you're willing to do it without being directly compensated.

01:00:00.800 And one day you're going to look and see where you are and you're going to be alone. And you're

01:00:04.820 going to wonder where everybody else is. They're back doing the bare minimum. And you,

01:00:09.240 and you don't think down about those people, right? You don't look down on them. You don't

01:00:13.620 make them feel bad. Those are their decisions. They're big boys and they make their decisions

01:00:17.140 and you make your decision. And then what you do is you say, Hey guys, let me show you how to go a

01:00:22.800 little bit faster. Let me show you something that worked for me. Oh, you need help with that. You know

01:00:29.080 what? Brian's really good at that thing. Let me get you connected to Brian because then you'll be able

01:00:34.900 to do it more effectively and more efficiently. And you start to lead from the, from the heart

01:00:39.900 of service. Not let me get out ahead as far so I can look good. No, no, no. Get out ahead so that

01:00:46.240 you can start to paint, right? You can start to say paint, but paint the path is what I'm saying.

01:00:51.000 Like illuminate the path. It's kind of like the scouts, right? What do the scouts do? They go out

01:00:56.860 ahead where it's dangerous. It is dangerous for a scout to go out ahead or a forward observer in the

01:01:02.280 artillery to go out ahead into enemy lines and observe and see what's going on. Then what does

01:01:08.120 he do? He gets on the radio and he's like, here's what we got. Here's what we have going on. Here's

01:01:12.380 what I would suggest. Oh, don't go down that route. Cause that's a trap. Go down that other route.

01:01:16.800 And these are what the scouts and a forward observers do. These, this is what a leader is.

01:01:21.400 The leader goes first in the hostile territory and the uncomfortable situations. And then he doesn't

01:01:26.560 stop there. He turns around and says, let me help you get to where I am. And then when you're here,

01:01:31.300 I'm going to go ahead and leapfrog ahead. So you're always going to stay out ahead if you adopt

01:01:35.700 this mindset, but it isn't to get ahead. It's to help other people get to where you currently are.

01:01:41.360 And that's a servant mindset. Totally. Yeah. And I think just to reiterate what you said,

01:01:46.900 cause I think it's the most important aspect of this is don't get ahead so you can be ahead.

01:01:52.180 Right. Your focus is wrong. It's not about you. Yeah. Make the focus about doing the job

01:01:58.120 an amazing way, serving the client, the best possible way, uplifting the team,

01:02:03.460 bringing the team along. You engulf yourself with that. You're going to go ahead. You're going to

01:02:10.580 lead ahead. You're going to gain the respect of your team. That's, that's the by-product of actually

01:02:15.760 just leveling up and doing the right thing for the right reason. That's well said. I mean,

01:02:21.980 do the right thing. What, what, what's the, uh, what's the, uh, it's like the primary song

01:02:29.460 that we learned, like do what is right. Let the consequences follow something like that. Right.

01:02:33.760 I didn't learn, I didn't learn the LDS primary songs because I wasn't baptized until I was 16,

01:02:38.560 but it was like, it's like, do what is right. Let the consequences follow. I think it's, I think

01:02:43.160 it's that, isn't it? No, I think that is right. Yeah. I didn't know I was LDS until I was a little

01:02:46.980 bit older. So I, I missed that on a lot of primary. So people who, who know the primary songs

01:02:52.660 are going to correct us, but do what is right. Let the consequences follow. Like things will play

01:02:57.560 out the way they're going to play out if you do what's right. And you know what, well, what is

01:03:00.860 right. Come on now, you know, you know, it's right. And it goes back to that being self-worth and

01:03:07.160 having integrity and, you know, right. Yeah. Yeah. Let's take one or two more Kip. All right. Ben Phelps.

01:03:13.040 We've been, uh, we've heard about your journey, but something that I, that I've been curious about

01:03:19.020 is what was the switch? What was the thought and, and you acted upon it? Was it a gradual realization

01:03:26.600 as you look back? Was it a switch or a moment of clarity action or a trigger? Does it affect how

01:03:33.880 you pivot? And if so, in what ways? So I, I think there's a misconception that the big,

01:03:40.540 when you, let me say it this way, when you look at somebody who's achieved some level of success

01:03:45.840 that you admire, and I've realized that about what we've created here is there's people that

01:03:49.560 look to what we've done and they think, well, how, how do they do it? Like, this is awesome.

01:03:53.760 You know, and they have a sense of admiration or respect for what we've created. And I think that's

01:03:57.420 great. And, and I'm, I'm excited about that because I think it inspires people, but I think we tend to

01:04:02.720 believe that there's these big moments in time that have happened that created that individual.

01:04:07.300 And there certainly just started, right, right. That's not how it works. In fact, I did a podcast.

01:04:14.300 Uh, was it last week? What was the pot? Pull it up while I'm talking and see if you can find the,

01:04:20.000 the Friday field notes that I did from last week. So do I need to subscribe to be able to do that or,

01:04:25.140 um, that's disappointing. I'm just funny. Of course you'd subscribe. Yeah. Friday.

01:04:32.720 Okay. Yeah. What was that podcast? It was, uh, how to improve style. No,

01:04:39.840 that was this morning. Why follow your passion is a bad advice. There you go. Okay. So I actually

01:04:45.560 talk a lot about the journey for order of man in that podcast. I mean, I went into depth about me

01:04:52.100 being in the financial planning practice and it wasn't like one day I'm like, I'm going to start

01:04:56.720 order of man and talk with Jocko and, and Goggins and all in like, no, and inspire millions of men.

01:05:03.860 And I'm going to write this book and I'm going to do it all in the next week. Yeah. No, like I'm

01:05:09.460 going to start a pot, not even, I'm going to, it wasn't even, I'm going to start a podcast. It was

01:05:13.120 like, I'm going to do a different podcast. Cause I had another podcast. Yeah. So I'm going to do a

01:05:18.440 different podcast. And then I did that for about six months and I'm like, I'm going to start a course.

01:05:23.660 And I did that with 12 guys. And then I thought, I'm going to open this up to more guys. And we

01:05:28.920 grew to 80 to a hundred guys very, very quickly. And then I thought, I'm going to put an event

01:05:34.280 together and nobody came to the event. And I'm like, okay, I'm going to do another event, but I'm

01:05:39.380 actually going to have people come to this one. And we had 20 guys. And then I was like, okay,

01:05:44.340 now I'm going to do another event, but this time I'm just going to do it for dads with their kids.

01:05:48.180 And then I'm going to do another event and I have 75 guys. And then I'm going to have a hundred guys.

01:05:52.680 Oh, and you know, I was talking with this person, but now I want to talk with Jocko. So I'm going to

01:05:57.340 have a conversation with him. It doesn't happen in now. So I will say this. Sometimes you hit a home

01:06:05.480 run, right? You just make contact, you hit that sweet spot and it's off to the races. But what I

01:06:14.360 have noticed is even in my home runs, if we were to map this out, let's just take the trajectory or

01:06:20.840 the growth of order of man, whether you want to talk about podcasts, downloads or subscribers,

01:06:25.060 whatever metric you want to take. Here's what it does guys. Okay. So it goes like this. It grows,

01:06:30.020 it grows, it grows. And I'm hitting single, single, single, singles. And then I hit a home run. It

01:06:34.340 goes like this, bam. Okay. And then here's what most people don't know. It doesn't keep going like

01:06:40.320 that. It actually goes like this, but it never gets below where it was initially. And then it

01:06:46.800 goes like this. Yeah. Single, single, single, single home run dips a little bit. Single,

01:06:53.460 single, single, single, single, single. This is the process. It is not fun. In fact, I'm in the

01:06:58.480 middle with the podcast, just so you guys know, full disclosure here of one of these right here.

01:07:02.640 Okay. This month, the downloads are looking like they're going to be lower than they were last

01:07:09.600 month. That's very frustrating for a high achievers, for somebody who takes pride and

01:07:13.260 continue to grow and evolve and expand. It's also part of the game. And what most people will do,

01:07:20.380 Seth Godin talks about this in the concept that he's dubbed the dip is most people will see that

01:07:26.120 dip and think, Oh, it's over. It's over. It's over. You know, it was working. It was doing well.

01:07:31.980 And now it's over and people are exhausted or they don't like this or what I have to share is

01:07:35.720 not valuable anymore. Nope. That was just, I don't care if you call it God or nature or karma or

01:07:43.560 whatever you can choose to fill in the blank with that word there. It's just the way to prove that

01:07:48.720 you're still in the thing and you're worthy of the next big thing to happen. And so I'm right here

01:07:55.140 and I could be discouraged, but I'm actually like, no, man, I'm excited. Cause the next thing

01:08:01.280 that happens is going to be awesome. And I don't know what it is, but it's going to be awesome.

01:08:06.260 How do I know that? Cause it's happened over the past five years. This is the way it works.

01:08:11.120 It's not guesswork. It's just maintaining the course of action.

01:08:14.700 I like to, I like to see that dip as, as this, I think, I think it, I think it's this,

01:08:20.620 I think it's learn, learn, learn results, learn, learn, learn, learn, learn results.

01:08:28.040 Yes. Right. And that results is part of the learn. And the next spike is part of the dip,

01:08:33.260 right? There's no other spike without that dip. And, and it's just, you know, and we have a tendency

01:08:38.640 to look at it and go, ah, it's not working. It's failing. It's like, no, this is now where I put my

01:08:45.060 head down. I have some grit. I, I look for the lesson to be learned. I evolve. I change for more

01:08:51.340 result. The other thing I think, I think you're right with that. The other, just to kind of riff

01:08:56.160 on this analogy a little bit, I think it actually, the reason you experience results and you have these

01:09:01.660 peaks is because you experienced the result and then you prove that you can't sustain it.

01:09:06.760 Yeah. You could, but when you go there, you expand your capacity a little bit. So when you dip,

01:09:12.460 because you can't sustain that level of growth, you just can't, it's impossible. I'll go back to

01:09:16.280 that in a second. You, but you, when you, so you, you can't sustain it because you don't have the

01:09:20.940 capability to do it. And then you dip, but you don't ever dip below where you were before because

01:09:27.180 you expanded, you expanded your capacity just a little bit. Yeah. Right. So if I were to take

01:09:33.280 somebody who's, who's, who's in just extreme poverty. And I said, I'm going to write you a check

01:09:41.180 for a million dollars today. And I wrote them a check and it would be good. I wrote them a check

01:09:45.700 and I gave it to them. They couldn't even cash the check. They don't know how to go to it. They

01:09:54.000 don't even have a bank account. Yeah. They couldn't go to the bank and say, I've got this check for a

01:09:59.060 million dollars and I'd like to cash this or deposit this in my banking. They couldn't even do that.

01:10:04.760 And this is the point that I'm making is like when people win the lottery, you know, they win

01:10:10.980 the lottery and, and then they lose it because yeah, they got the money, but they never developed

01:10:17.160 the skillset to be able to manage that kind of money. This is why, when I had that conversation

01:10:20.720 with Andy Priscilla several months ago, I said, I told him flat out and he agreed with me. I said,

01:10:27.040 Andy, I think I would crumble if I had to do what you had to do. And he says, yeah, you're exactly

01:10:32.720 right. He wasn't saying it mean spirited at all. He was saying that if you had to do what I do on a

01:10:37.180 daily basis, you would crumble within the first couple of hours because you haven't earned this.

01:10:42.120 You haven't earned the right to run an organization like this. And he, again, he wasn't saying it mean

01:10:46.180 spirited, but he was dead on. Yeah. You have exactly what you have in your life because you deserve

01:10:53.740 exactly what you have. Now there's going to be blips where sometimes maybe you're going to get kicked

01:10:58.540 in the balls and you're going to get a hand less than what you deserve. But that's, that's a blip

01:11:03.320 that isn't generally true. Or sometimes you're going to hit the home run and you're going to have

01:11:08.400 more than maybe you deserve, but that's a blip. And that's why it comes back down. It's like the

01:11:12.900 thermostat on the wall. You know, you set your thermostat to 70 degrees in the house and you know,

01:11:17.900 sometimes it's lower. Sometimes it's higher. If it's higher, it comes back down. If it's lower,

01:11:21.500 it goes up and it's doing this constantly. Well, that's what's happening with your results.

01:11:25.340 What you need to do is become more capable of handling in our metaphor, the higher temperature

01:11:31.000 and gradually you'll see your line goal. It's like the stock market. You'll see the line go like

01:11:36.380 this. If you focus on a daily basis, it's all over the place, but generally it goes like this.

01:11:41.820 Yeah. And, and for the guys that might be thinking that their, their world is not a blip

01:11:46.920 and it's, you know, just a bad hand of cards. Now look at all the inspirational people that you know of

01:11:54.340 and look at all the bad cards that they were handled, handled and what they did with them.

01:12:01.920 Right. They, they use them to become amazing. So awesome. That's now up to you.

01:12:08.840 That's exactly right. If you feel like your line, isn't going like this up and it's going down those,

01:12:13.880 that's because the choices you're making, if it's one little off, okay, that's, that can be explained

01:12:19.120 or, or that could be, you know, understood. But if it, it's a trend, that's the decisions that

01:12:24.900 you're making, not a blip. I think that's a wrap, man. Yeah. Let's do it. Cool. Well, join us next

01:12:35.240 Wednesday to submit your questions for future episodes of the AMA. You can subscribe to the

01:12:41.500 Facebook group, facebook.com slash group slash order of man, or you can jump on the court of life

01:12:47.220 and take more action and rub shoulders with other like-minded men at the, within the iron council.

01:12:53.500 That's order of man.com slash iron council. And if so, of course support the podcast by following

01:12:59.320 Mr. Mickler on Instagram or Twitter at Ryan Mickler, subscribe to the podcast, uh, via your,

01:13:06.060 you know, podcast aggregator or YouTube. And of course you can, uh, grab your order man swag at

01:13:12.420 the store that store.orderofman.com. And the one thing that I was going to mention that I think is

01:13:17.880 just profound is what I like about a lot of the things that we talk about on the AMA is it's a lot

01:13:24.740 of these conversations are obviously are submitted for the AMA, but some of what we come up with is

01:13:29.740 based upon conversations that people are having with you on Instagram, leaving comments on YouTube.

01:13:35.500 So interact with, with Ryan, uh, certainly if it's negative, interact with him, uh, save the

01:13:41.620 positive stuff for me, but yeah, because like Kip needs that, you know, like I don't need that

01:13:46.960 validation, but Kip does. So I need the stick. Yeah. I need the stick. Yeah. Tell me I can't do

01:13:54.400 something. So, but, but honestly though, like, I think you do an amazing job at interacting with

01:13:59.520 people. So, uh, there's a lot of value and I think you value that quite a bit when people

01:14:04.320 try to comments and interact. I mean, it's social, right? It's not one way. Like I try to be

01:14:09.360 responsive in return. It becomes increasingly difficult, but I care about the guys who are

01:14:13.820 listening and the guys who are interacting. And I try to be as responsive as possible.

01:14:17.120 Yeah, for sure. Cool. All right, guys. Great questions today. Appreciate the conversation.

01:14:22.060 We'll keep them going. Uh, again, Friday's podcast is going to be centered around what to look for in a,

01:14:30.020 a, in a good woman and how to instill these factors. If you are into her, if you already have

01:14:37.560 a woman. So we're going to cover both. All right. I was going to say, if you didn't cover both is just

01:14:42.420 the first one that may not be, you know, Hey honey, you need to listen to this, but no, I think

01:14:47.360 actually having your wife listened to this is a good thing because look, you know, here's the

01:14:51.520 interesting thing. And, and I don't, I'm not saying this cause I'm some sort of, you know,

01:14:56.460 great orator or anything, but I'm just telling you, this is the way the case is. Sometimes you're

01:15:01.180 too close. And if you say something, she's like, Oh yeah, it's just Kip because she sees all your

01:15:07.240 flaws. Now, if I say something and it happens to be the same thing, Kip, that you said, well,

01:15:13.340 Asia might say, well, Ryan said this, we should do this. And so it's not any sort of like trance I

01:15:21.720 have on, on women. It's just, sometimes you're too close and having an objective party. Listen

01:15:26.700 is like, Oh, it just lands a little different. Cause I can say something without the fear of

01:15:32.360 retribution from your wife and without the emotional attachment and baggage to the consequences

01:15:40.820 of saying the things that you say. So I can say things differently than you can say things.

01:15:45.720 And with that well-rounded approach, my help, that's why this podcast is going to be good.

01:15:50.200 Yeah. Awesome. Looking forward to it. All right, guys, we'll be back on Friday for that. And then

01:15:54.840 of course, uh, in the coming weeks, some very, very cool podcasts coming up two in particular

01:15:59.440 that I'm very excited about. I'm just throwing that out there. I can't disclose this to you,

01:16:03.760 but, uh, stay tuned. All right, guys, go out there, take action, become the man you are meant to be.

01:16:08.440 Thank you for listening to the order of man podcast. You're ready to take charge of your life

01:16:12.900 and be more of the man you were meant to be. We invite you to join the order at order of man.com.

01:16:20.200 You're ready to have an impact.

01:16:21.040 Thank you.

01:16:21.620 Thank you.

01:16:28.600 Bye-bye.

01:16:29.440 Bye-bye.

01:16:31.100 Bye.

01:16:33.800 Bye-bye.

01:16:39.200 Bye.

01:16:40.720 Bye-bye.

01:16:41.960 Bye.

01:16:43.620 Bye.

01:16:44.000 Bye.

01:16:44.800 Bye.

01:16:44.900 Bye.

01:16:45.060 Bye.

01:16:45.840 Bye.

01:16:46.240 Bye.

01:16:46.960 Bye.

Overcoming Lagging Results, Developing Intentionality with Your Wife, and Why Controlling Your Emotions Won't Help ｜ ASK ME ANYTHING

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