Order of Man - Ownership over Victimhood, Handling Aggression, and Letting Go

00:00:00.000 That now we rescue people.

00:00:02.680 And when I rescue you, Ryan, when I rescue someone,

00:00:05.880 in essence, it's because I don't believe in you.

00:00:09.800 I don't believe you're capable of doing it.

00:00:12.920 That you require me to do it for you.

00:00:17.380 And thus, I rob you from building self-confidence.

00:00:21.340 I rob you from growth.

00:00:23.260 And I rob you from the honor of rising up and doing it on your own.

00:00:29.000 You're a man of action.

00:00:31.160 You live life to the fullest.

00:00:32.600 Embrace your fears and boldly chart your own path.

00:00:35.540 When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time.

00:00:38.900 Every time.

00:00:40.000 You are not easily deterred or defeated.

00:00:42.280 Rugged.

00:00:43.080 Resilient.

00:00:44.040 Strong.

00:00:45.040 This is your life.

00:00:46.140 This is who you are.

00:00:47.560 This is who you will become.

00:00:49.280 At the end of the day, and after all is said and done,

00:00:52.300 you can call yourself a man.

00:00:56.800 Mr. Kip Sorensen, what's up, brother?

00:00:58.640 Good to see you, man, on this Monday.

00:01:00.220 Getting the week started off right with our conversation.

00:01:02.720 Yes.

00:01:04.080 I'm renewed.

00:01:05.600 I think you knew this.

00:01:06.560 I went camping over the weekend.

00:01:07.960 And so whatever it is about being out in nature,

00:01:12.380 making fire, sleeping on the ground,

00:01:15.780 just centers me.

00:01:17.420 And life is way better than I realize.

00:01:19.600 Doing a little peyote.

00:01:20.740 Don't leave that part out of it.

00:01:21.960 Come on now.

00:01:22.460 Yeah, a little knock on the sky.

00:01:26.180 Or Iowa score.

00:01:26.540 I don't know.

00:01:26.880 What were you doing?

00:01:28.280 Not just.

00:01:28.700 Yeah, it's like, oh, drugs.

00:01:29.980 I feel so good.

00:01:30.440 I was camping.

00:01:31.240 I'm like, you were getting high, bro.

00:01:33.020 No, we had a sweat Sunday morning.

00:01:35.640 Started at like 5 a.m.

00:01:37.880 Made these guys get up.

00:01:39.960 Burned some rocks.

00:01:40.940 And dude, by 10, I was telling my son, I'm like, I am destroyed.

00:01:46.980 My body is just like done for Sunday.

00:01:50.460 But it was great.

00:01:51.740 It was really great.

00:01:52.960 So no drugs required.

00:01:54.980 There was enough suffering that no drugs were required.

00:01:57.560 All right.

00:02:00.040 I sat at the pool for about five hours while you were doing that.

00:02:03.360 Oh, yeah.

00:02:03.500 You're a poor thing.

00:02:04.500 And it's a little different experience.

00:02:06.560 But well, I'm a ginger, so I got pretty burned.

00:02:09.120 But outside of that, there wasn't much suffering going on.

00:02:13.780 I love it, man.

00:02:15.200 I love it.

00:02:15.640 Should we get into headlines?

00:02:16.720 Let's just jump right into it today, man.

00:02:18.320 Absolutely.

00:02:19.440 So here's the headline that I have.

00:02:22.920 So the Sheetz convenience store chain has been hit with a lawsuit by the federal officials

00:02:28.400 who allege that the company has discriminated against minority job applicants.

00:02:35.040 Sheetz, which operates more than 700 stores in six states,

00:02:38.260 discriminated against blacks, Native Americans, and multiracial job seekers by automatically

00:02:45.560 weeding out applicants who the company deemed to have failed a criminal background check,

00:02:51.480 according to U.S. officials.

00:02:54.480 You'll like this, all right?

00:02:56.000 Okay, keep going.

00:02:56.920 Yeah.

00:02:57.160 The Equal Employment Opportunity Commission filed a lawsuit in Baltimore against the company,

00:03:03.240 alleging that the chain's longstanding hiring practices have disproportionately impact on minority

00:03:10.700 applicants and thus the federal civil rights law.

00:03:16.460 The company was sued under the Civil Rights Act of 1964, which prohibits workplace discrimination

00:03:22.560 on the basis of race, sex, religion, or national origin.

00:03:28.340 So my response to this, we need to deal with the fact that we do not help people when we rescue them.

00:03:38.780 And this is a prime example of thinking that we're helping someone by rescuing them,

00:03:47.200 by lowering the standard of what is required to be successful in college,

00:03:52.120 by lowering the standard of what it means to get a job.

00:03:56.820 And what we need to realize, and I think it was 1971, psychology has this term,

00:04:02.360 and you guys can search this up.

00:04:03.600 It's called the Drama Triangle.

00:04:06.280 And in this Drama Triangle, you will perpetuate a person to have a victim mindset

00:04:12.340 when your interaction with them is from the perspective of rescuing them and or persecuting them.

00:04:23.160 And the persecuting is kind of a given.

00:04:25.840 We all know we shouldn't persecute people.

00:04:28.140 We shouldn't have, we shouldn't discriminate against people.

00:04:31.240 But then what we've done is we've swung that pendulum so far over that now we rescue people.

00:04:38.660 And when I rescue you, Ryan, when I rescue someone,

00:04:42.040 in essence, it's because I don't believe in you.

00:04:46.000 I don't believe you're capable of doing it.

00:04:49.380 That you require me to do it for you.

00:04:53.440 And thus, I rob you from building self-confidence.

00:04:57.240 I rob you from growth.

00:04:59.160 And I rob you from the honor of rising up and doing it on your own.

00:05:06.160 We think we rescue people because we care.

00:05:09.580 No, we rescue people often because it makes us feel good.

00:05:14.440 It makes us feel superior.

00:05:16.280 And it's because of our lack of belief in other individuals.

00:05:20.920 If you're part of a minority group and you're being rescued, stand up and fight against being rescued. 0.94

00:05:30.140 You don't need to be rescued.

00:05:32.620 No one needs to be rescued.

00:05:34.760 And we need to believe in humanity and we need to help them support and coach.

00:05:40.760 But don't rescue people.

00:05:42.520 And this is a prime example of rescuing which will just perpetuate holding people down.

00:05:50.920 Well said.

00:05:53.820 As you were saying this, Kip, I wasn't looking at you because I was pulling up some statistics.

00:05:59.160 Because I actually wanted to go through this.

00:06:00.800 And this is going to be very unpopular with a group of our listeners.

00:06:04.780 But this is the reality.

00:06:06.260 So let's take a look here real quick because this ties into exactly what you're saying.

00:06:09.980 So I just pulled up some statistics.

00:06:12.480 This is from the FBI website, FBI.gov.

00:06:15.640 And I did it real quick, so forgive me.

00:06:19.280 But these numbers are, it looks like, from 2016.

00:06:22.560 So this is, you know, eight years ago.

00:06:25.160 But the numbers are probably not all that different.

00:06:27.420 But I think this will give you an idea.

00:06:29.260 A lot of the times in that headline, and I haven't read that headline that you talked about.

00:06:33.640 But what they said was that if you're doing criminal background searches,

00:06:38.160 it's largely going to affect black and minority people.

00:06:42.580 Right?

00:06:42.940 That was the assertion.

00:06:44.280 Yep.

00:06:44.920 So is that really what's happening?

00:06:48.180 But let's take a look at this.

00:06:49.400 So I looked at the total arrests for, again, this is for 2016.

00:06:54.060 So it's outdated, but we can pull up, I can get a little bit more specific or newer data.

00:06:58.140 But this should give us an idea.

00:07:00.040 Total arrests.

00:07:01.640 Let's take a look for, so the total is roughly eight and a half million people for 2016.

00:07:09.540 Of those, 5,800,000 are white, and we'll just isolate white and black.

00:07:16.540 We won't talk about American or Native Indian, Asian, other Hawaiian or Pacific Islander, Hispanic.

00:07:22.780 We'll just black and white for now.

00:07:25.080 So of the 8.5 million that were arrested in 2016, 5.8 were white, 2.2 were black.

00:07:33.760 So if you look at that number alone, you think, well, whites commit more problems. 1.00

00:07:39.640 They commit more crime. 0.99

00:07:40.920 Like, there it is.

00:07:41.960 It's in the numbers.

00:07:42.620 And while that's true, that doesn't paint the entire story because if you go to, and this is from in 2021, 40.1 million people in the United States were non-Hispanic black alone, which represents about 12% of the population.

00:07:57.800 So if 12% of the population, again, in 2021, is black, and yet if you look at murder, then blacks are responsible for 52% of the total murder or non-negligent manslaughters in America in 2016. 0.90

00:08:17.820 Overall, across all races.

00:08:21.860 Just regardless.

00:08:23.620 Yeah, 52%.

00:08:24.760 Dang.

00:08:25.900 Yeah.

00:08:26.820 So why isn't that 19, or excuse me, why isn't that 12%?

00:08:32.800 Get it?

00:08:33.920 Look at rate.

00:08:35.740 29%.

00:08:36.380 Now, whites commit 67% and blacks commit 29%, but why isn't that number 12%? 0.92

00:08:45.940 Robbery, 43 white, 54 black. 0.94

00:08:49.600 Burglary, 68 white, 29% black.

00:08:52.940 Now, when I say that, and you can go through, it's the same for everything.

00:08:58.080 All of those numbers should be 12%, right?

00:09:02.520 Yeah.

00:09:03.120 If it's proportionate.

00:09:05.260 But it's not proportionate.

00:09:07.820 So what's the problem here?

00:09:10.020 Is it really, this is where people are going to lose their minds.

00:09:12.620 I'm going to hear about this one for sure.

00:09:14.120 But guys, I'm just, it's just the numbers.

00:09:17.820 So what is it about, sorry, switching over to my other camera here.

00:09:23.640 What is it about the culture?

00:09:26.380 Fatherless homes, whatever else is being taught in the community, no consequences.

00:09:33.180 To your point, government's coming in to rescue people who are single mothers, for example,

00:09:39.440 and we're fostering and encouraging women raising their children on their own.

00:09:44.600 And we're even subsidizing it.

00:09:46.220 We're rewarding it through government allocations and handouts.

00:09:50.060 And I'm not picking on black people or white people, or it doesn't, that's an immutable 0.64

00:09:55.300 characteristic, but there's something going on about the culture that's causing them to

00:10:00.800 commit more of the crime than their percentage relative to the population.

00:10:06.200 Yeah.

00:10:06.380 And that's the deal we need to address.

00:10:08.180 And I think you're hitting on the subject right there.

00:10:10.200 I'm supporting it with data and numbers.

00:10:12.240 You're saying, hey, here's what we need to do about it.

00:10:15.540 And I completely agree with it.

00:10:17.780 We can't continue to hamstring white, black, purple, Asian, brown, yellow.

00:10:22.440 I don't care.

00:10:23.080 You can't hamstring people and then assume that they're going to do well.

00:10:27.620 You can't paint people as victims and assume that they're not going to embrace that ideology

00:10:33.120 and think that the world is out to get them.

00:10:35.500 Now, there was a time in America where black people were unjustly persecuted and had a separate

00:10:44.460 set of rules for them.

00:10:46.360 That's not okay.

00:10:48.040 It's not okay. 0.99

00:10:49.640 And so we're trying to write that shit, but we can't go back and change it. 0.99

00:10:54.600 We don't need to pretend it doesn't exist. 0.99

00:10:56.780 But what we do need to do is create some equality.

00:11:02.320 Okay.

00:11:02.760 Not equity, but equality in the way that we approach the law and handouts and government subsidies.

00:11:11.060 And then you have to assume that people can make good decisions.

00:11:13.900 Now, the bleeding hearts will tell you, well, Ryan, you know, if you grew up in generations

00:11:19.660 or even hundreds and hundreds of years of believing this and living this way, you aren't

00:11:24.240 afforded the same opportunities or your mindset's different.

00:11:26.640 I actually agree with that.

00:11:27.640 And it took me a hard time to wrap my head around that.

00:11:30.060 But I see that.

00:11:31.080 I see people who grow up in poverty, white, black, it doesn't matter, who grow up in poverty,

00:11:35.440 who grow up around drug abuse and other degenerate type behavior.

00:11:40.640 And those people are going to have a harder time as adults.

00:11:44.440 There's no doubt about it.

00:11:46.400 But we can't pretend that those opportunities don't exist.

00:11:49.460 And we need to right the ship by creating fair practices that apply broadly across genders,

00:11:55.800 races, et cetera.

00:11:58.280 Yeah.

00:11:58.720 So, I mean, there's the numbers.

00:12:00.460 You just look at it and see.

00:12:01.800 Yeah, absolutely.

00:12:02.480 And I believe we need to double down on understanding human behavior and how do we empower people

00:12:11.840 through agency and freedom to rise up, not rescue them.

00:12:19.740 And that's where we go wrong so often is we think the handout helps.

00:12:26.520 It's mindset.

00:12:28.280 It's belief in oneself.

00:12:30.540 It's those things.

00:12:31.980 It's fatherless homes.

00:12:33.220 It's these other issues that are really at the center of the problem.

00:12:37.400 And we think that it's just, you know, if we just give handouts, then it's all going to be okay.

00:12:43.000 That's not necessarily the issue.

00:12:47.100 All right.

00:12:47.620 What do you got?

00:12:48.240 Yeah.

00:12:48.780 I mean, on an anecdotal level, if I give, if you say to me, hey, Kip, or hey, Ryan, I can't make the

00:12:55.760 mortgage this month and I make your mortgage payment for you, I didn't help you.

00:13:00.160 Yeah.

00:13:00.560 Now I might've got you out of a temporary bind and knowing you because of your diligence and

00:13:08.140 your hard work and your dedication, you might just have fallen upon hard times.

00:13:11.320 But my handout is contingent.

00:13:14.620 It's not indefinite.

00:13:15.780 It's, hey, Kip, I'll help you out.

00:13:17.460 And you need to pay me back.

00:13:19.180 Yeah.

00:13:19.680 When you got your feet under you.

00:13:21.080 And this is only going to happen once.

00:13:23.500 Yeah.

00:13:23.820 So the rest is on you.

00:13:27.400 And then when you come to me and say, hey, Ryan, I can't make my mortgage payment next month.

00:13:31.440 Man, I'm sorry about that.

00:13:32.560 You're going to have to go somewhere else.

00:13:34.260 You know what, though?

00:13:35.460 I've got an event coming up.

00:13:36.780 I'll hire you for the event.

00:13:38.740 You want to go to work?

00:13:39.600 And you can decide yes or no or whatever.

00:13:43.720 And, but that's on you.

00:13:44.920 That's no longer on me.

00:13:46.320 Yeah.

00:13:47.660 Yeah.

00:13:48.400 All right.

00:13:49.340 My headline's a little lighter and also maybe much more disturbing.

00:13:53.960 I don't know if it's more disturbing, but it's certainly disturbing.

00:13:58.980 So I saw this video the other day, and here's the headline.

00:14:02.080 This is from New York Post, but it's all over the place.

00:14:04.360 The headline is this.

00:14:06.140 Oops.

00:14:06.780 Here we go.

00:14:07.180 New footage shows a woman who used her dead uncle to sign bank loan arriving by taxi with the driver helping move the body.

00:14:20.240 Have you seen this, Kip?

00:14:21.320 No way.

00:14:22.780 It's, dude, it is disturbing.

00:14:27.540 I mean, clearly, it's like Weekend at Bernie's on steroids, but clearly she's in the bank. 0.98

00:14:33.040 You can see the footage.

00:14:33.820 She's in the bank, and she's got, I didn't know it was her uncle at the time, but she's got this man in a wheelchair who is clearly either completely incapacitated and brain dead or actually dead, and he is actually dead.

00:14:49.740 This happened in Brazil.

00:14:50.900 Yeah, she attempted to secure a loan, and she would grab his hand and actually sign the document to help him sign the document so she could secure a loan from the bank.

00:15:04.340 Like, oh, my gosh, man.

00:15:06.960 Like, what in the hell is wrong with people?

00:15:10.480 How old is his body? 0.95

00:15:11.900 Like, is he sneaking up the bank?

00:15:13.860 I don't know about that.

00:15:17.120 He didn't look decomposed.

00:15:19.260 I'll say that.

00:15:20.540 At first, I watched the video, and I thought, oh, he's got maybe some sort of, like, mental handicap or something, or he's in a coma, something.

00:15:32.240 And then I'm like, no, that guy's dead.

00:15:34.080 Like, he's legitimately dead.

00:15:35.840 And sure enough, he was dead.

00:15:38.480 And I don't even know where to go with this, Kip.

00:15:40.980 I don't know where to take this conversation other than – I will say this.

00:15:46.920 There needs to be some consequences for people's behavior, and I – and this is a broader subject, but we see so many people trying things like this, which is just repulsive and disgusting.

00:15:59.260 But then other things, you know, I listened to a headline over the weekend, and I can't remember the woman's name right offhand, but she admitted to smothering her baby.

00:16:12.280 She had a baby who was – the mother was high on cocaine or heroin or something at the time, and she admitted that she killed her baby because the baby wouldn't stop crying, and it was frustrating.

00:16:26.520 And the judge – so the prosecution tried her for negligence, which led to the baby's death, which is not negligent.

00:16:39.780 That's not negligence.

00:16:41.860 That's murder.

00:16:42.960 Yeah.

00:16:43.160 And the judge, he said that he was not going to find her guilty because it was the wrong charge.

00:16:55.820 It shouldn't have been negligence.

00:16:56.900 It should have been manslaughter at the least.

00:16:59.120 And so he scolded her and said, well, I hope you learn from this lesson.

00:17:03.560 Learn from this lesson?

00:17:04.500 What are you learning?

00:17:05.020 She killed her baby. 1.00

00:17:06.600 Yeah. 0.97

00:17:08.480 She killed her baby. 1.00

00:17:09.940 She's going to go out. 0.51

00:17:11.660 She's going to get pregnant again, of course, and she's probably going to get high again, and she's probably going to do this again because she believes that she can get away with it. 0.98

00:17:21.460 We live in a society that is devoid of law and order or at least law and order for certain individuals, and this ties into what you were saying is that there's a complete double standard based on somebody's victim class.

00:17:34.720 Yeah.

00:17:35.160 And I – it's not sustainable.

00:17:40.000 It's not sustainable as a society if we say that that person, they had a hard time, they had a hard upbringing, so we'll give them a pass.

00:17:49.020 Well, that person, they had a great upbringing, and they still did it, so we're not going to give them a pass.

00:17:52.720 We're going to throw the book at them.

00:17:54.000 This is not sustainable.

00:17:55.580 We need to impose – excuse me, impose harsher convictions, harsher penalties for these behaviors, including things like you saw these Hamas supporters closing down the infrastructure of the United States.

00:18:14.580 Golden Gate Bridge, a lot going on in Chicago.

00:18:18.060 Those are literally terrorists.

00:18:19.800 They're terrorizing people.

00:18:21.300 They're threatening people, and they're shutting down infrastructure, which if you think about it, is a military tactic.

00:18:29.800 Throughout thousands of years, the military has attacked infrastructure.

00:18:34.560 Yep, infrastructure supply chain.

00:18:36.060 Highways, supply chains, rivers, in order to cut off enemies, and this is exactly what these individuals are doing, and guess what?

00:18:46.720 We're going to give – what?

00:18:47.580 Give them a pass because they're quote-unquote peacefully protesting?

00:18:51.540 They're not peacefully protesting.

00:18:53.020 They're literally engaging in military operations, coordinated, logistical, well-thought-out attacks against everyday citizens who are trying to get to work, trying to go see their kids' game, who are trying to run their errands and do their jobs and do their work, who are trying to run life-saving medical runs with EMTs and firefighters and police officers.

00:19:21.340 And these terrorists – and the only state that really did anything about it – guess – I'll give you a guess.

00:19:27.600 What state?

00:19:28.340 Florida.

00:19:28.980 That did anything about this?

00:19:30.580 Florida.

00:19:31.620 Yep.

00:19:33.000 Florida said nope, and they arrested them immediately.

00:19:36.160 Everywhere else is like – hummed and hawed around and created real problems for people.

00:19:41.700 These are terrorists, and they deserve to be treated as such.

00:19:43.640 That's a little bit of a stretch from the original headline, but there has to be harsh consequences for this type of behavior, and we can't condone it.

00:19:53.160 We can't celebrate it.

00:19:54.440 We can't make excuses for it, and we need to start cracking down.

00:19:59.100 Let's jump into questions from the Iron Council.

00:20:01.860 To learn more about the Iron Council, you can go to orderofman.com slash ironcouncil.

00:20:05.960 So our first question, Brian Basteo, how do you deal with overwhelmed stress from busy seasons or weeks?

00:20:14.720 You know it's not going to last, but you still feel all the weight pushing down.

00:20:18.860 Yeah, with the busy season, it is hard because what ends up happening is you cut yourself off from activities that are healthy for your mindset and for your mental well-being.

00:20:32.740 And I get it.

00:20:33.740 When it's busy and life's hard and it's challenging or there's changes in life, it becomes difficult to do.

00:20:39.440 But what I would suggest to you is that that is the absolute worst time to cut some of those things out of your life.

00:20:45.300 Now, I realize that your schedule may need to change.

00:20:47.920 So, for example, if you have a project at work that requires you to go in two hours early every morning for the next 30 to 60 days, but that's normally the time you get into your gym sessions, you know the gym is good for your mental health and your physical health.

00:21:02.560 It's going to give you energy.

00:21:03.560 It's going to help you feel fit.

00:21:04.720 It's going to help you burn off and reduce stress.

00:21:07.180 This is scientifically proven to be true.

00:21:10.080 So you're telling me that you should cut that out completely?

00:21:12.780 No.

00:21:13.140 It means that you probably need to do it.

00:21:15.400 To your point, and you've talked a lot about this, Kip.

00:21:18.620 Is do some push-ups at your workstation.

00:21:23.000 Maybe you take lunch.

00:21:24.040 I know you take lunch and you go train jiu-jitsu.

00:21:26.180 And so you're a little bit more planned out about your meal planning so that you actually have it with you and you don't need to run somewhere.

00:21:33.040 So you eat real quick and then you go train or you train and then you eat.

00:21:36.020 And maybe instead of an hour, it's only 30 minutes.

00:21:37.940 But you have to continue to do those things.

00:21:40.140 And what I would suggest is that even though your schedule may change, don't eliminate those.

00:21:46.180 Find different ways to become more efficient with your time so you can continue to pray, read your scriptures, go exercise, see your friends.

00:21:54.760 Now, are you going to go spend the entire weekend with your buddies on a campout?

00:21:58.380 No, that doesn't make sense in this season.

00:22:00.320 But could you go out together and hang out for an hour and grab dinner one evening?

00:22:06.240 Probably.

00:22:07.020 If you can't do dinner, maybe a breakfast is in order.

00:22:10.080 Maybe a lunch is in order.

00:22:11.860 But there are opportunities here.

00:22:13.440 And it just comes down to you shifting your schedule.

00:22:16.200 And one virtue that I think is really overlooked for men is the ability to adapt.

00:22:25.060 I see so many men who are rigid with every aspect of their life.

00:22:29.560 And the problem with being rigid is that if there's a force great enough on that rigidity, it crumbles, it breaks.

00:22:36.720 I see that an analogy would be when you're forging knives.

00:22:40.180 I work closely with Montana Knife Company.

00:22:42.860 They're friends and sponsors of mine.

00:22:44.160 But I had the opportunity to go make a knife with Josh Smith, who's a master bladesmith.

00:22:51.460 And he talked to me a little bit about the differences between strength and hardness.

00:23:00.980 Or like, what was it?

00:23:02.560 Hardness and strength or something like that.

00:23:05.620 Because the harder you make it, it doesn't become stronger.

00:23:09.120 It becomes more brittle.

00:23:11.700 It's a little counterintuitive.

00:23:13.380 But the harder the metal, the more brittle it is.

00:23:17.240 Exactly.

00:23:17.940 Interesting.

00:23:18.380 Or if you look at city buildings, they're actually designed to sway and to move with the wind and move.

00:23:24.900 If the ground starts to shake in earthquakes, they shake.

00:23:27.620 Or look at a flagpole.

00:23:29.680 You know, in Maine, one of the first things I put into the ground was this 25-foot flagpole.

00:23:34.440 It's made of fiberglass.

00:23:36.120 And I could literally, when the wind started kicking up, I could see it moving back and forth.

00:23:41.080 But it always came back to its upright position.

00:23:43.620 If that would have been some rigid steel, it probably would have just ripped right out of the ground.

00:23:48.080 Because it has no flex or ability to bend and manipulate as the forces of life act upon it.

00:23:53.500 And it's the same thing in your life.

00:23:55.260 If you're so rigid in your workout schedule that the minute you can't go work out at 6 a.m., everything about your life falls apart, then there's a problem.

00:24:04.140 If you're so reliant on somebody else in your life, like your wife or your kids or a friend, that that person is maybe no longer in your life for whatever reason, maybe they pass away or you and your wife split and your world crumbles, then that means you were too rigid in your life.

00:24:21.140 You can't adapt.

00:24:23.240 And you can't make pivots as life is going to require you to do.

00:24:27.240 So in this time of busyness, whatever that looks like, because he didn't really get into details, you know it's going to be over.

00:24:35.000 Bend, man.

00:24:36.160 Bend.

00:24:36.840 Flex.

00:24:37.940 Bow a little bit.

00:24:38.860 Give a little bit.

00:24:40.620 Okay, your workouts aren't an hour long in the morning, but they are 30 minutes during lunch.

00:24:45.040 Got it.

00:24:45.520 That's all you can do right now.

00:24:46.900 But make sure you take care of yourself by being flexible like we talked about in that analogy.

00:24:51.680 I love that analogy.

00:24:52.880 Timothy Conley, what are some ways to navigate the ever-changing seasons of raising a special needs son?

00:25:01.260 And how can I better prepare him to be the man that he is meant to be?

00:25:06.060 My oldest and only son, Connor, is four years old, is on the spectrum, and is nonverbal.

00:25:12.040 I know life must be taken one day at a time, and it's going to require a lot of patience.

00:25:16.600 But to be honest, outside of my Iron Council brothers, there isn't a lot of support available locally.

00:25:22.560 Thank you.

00:25:25.540 I'm going to challenge that last assertion you made.

00:25:28.320 Yeah.

00:25:28.760 You're saying that, but that's not true.

00:25:31.040 It is not true.

00:25:32.500 I don't know where you live.

00:25:34.160 I don't know your circumstances.

00:25:36.000 I don't know your setup.

00:25:37.120 But what you're saying is not unequivocally true.

00:25:41.040 There are resources.

00:25:42.740 There are people.

00:25:43.560 There is support.

00:25:44.520 You just need to assert yourself to be able to find it.

00:25:47.260 There's probably other dads in your area who also have special needs children who are saying

00:25:52.260 the same thing as you.

00:25:53.420 Now, I don't know where they are.

00:25:54.760 I don't know where they congregate.

00:25:56.380 And the reason I don't is because this is not a situation I personally have to deal with.

00:26:00.300 So I have a level of empathy, but I also have a level of separation, which gives me the ability

00:26:07.000 to tell you clearly that there are other people around you who are in a same situation and probably

00:26:13.340 have said something almost verbatim to what you just said.

00:26:16.280 Yeah.

00:26:17.000 But you're going to need to assert yourself and find out what those resources are.

00:26:21.580 I would say, again, I don't know anything about your son's situation.

00:26:25.620 People say on the spectrum, it means a lot of different things.

00:26:28.500 It could just simply mean that he's not, he's socially awkward, but in your case, nonverbal.

00:26:34.780 So we're talking a little bit further down the spectrum of ability to operate in life,

00:26:40.540 right?

00:26:42.020 So I don't, I can't speak to that because I've never been in that situation.

00:26:46.320 But what I would say is to go find those resources in your area.

00:26:50.700 And if there's not one available, then create it.

00:26:53.220 And then also to go back to our previous question, take care of yourself.

00:26:59.220 Okay.

00:26:59.440 You're, you're going to spend a lot of time with your child, more time and dedication

00:27:05.900 than maybe I need to because of your son's situation.

00:27:11.300 This is why it's even more important for you to exercise.

00:27:15.260 This is why it's even more important for you to find hobbies and outlets and activities

00:27:20.060 and more important to find other men, not just in the iron council, but locally that

00:27:26.120 you can get a break from.

00:27:28.080 I know people don't like to talk about this, but you're going to need a break.

00:27:33.060 Okay.

00:27:33.600 Your son being on the spectrum and being nonverbal is going to be exhausting.

00:27:38.180 And that says nothing about your love for him, but it's going to be infuriating and exhausting

00:27:44.440 at times.

00:27:45.500 It's exhausting for me.

00:27:46.860 And I have mentally healthy, physically healthy children.

00:27:49.560 They fortunately, I'm not in that position and it's exhausting for me.

00:27:55.540 So if you can't find a way to take care of yourself, then you're going to get frustrated,

00:28:01.780 bitter, angry, contentious, resentful, which will lead you to take it out on him.

00:28:08.880 It's not his fault.

00:28:09.820 And it'll also lead you to take it out on your wife. 1.00

00:28:12.180 It's not her fault.

00:28:13.000 So find those outlets outside of what's going on with your son and your wife and your debt

00:28:18.300 family dynamic, because you're going to need all the strength you can, you can get.

00:28:21.940 You said something that I felt could relate to any man.

00:28:28.000 When I think about any hardship with any of my kids, especially the older kids, because

00:28:33.980 now I can hindsight, you know, look back and go, oh, what would I have done different?

00:28:39.460 The answer I would guess for most men is spend more time with them.

00:28:44.920 When I look at the hardships that I've had with some of my teenage sons, the solution would

00:28:53.520 have been have more time with them, which you've already alluded to in this circumstance,

00:29:00.740 but it's kind of the answer.

00:29:03.360 Show up powerfully, be an amazing tool and use that to lead and guide.

00:29:09.320 And to do leading and guiding for those that we care about, it requires reps with them.

00:29:16.240 Guidance, show, modeling, leading by example.

00:29:20.460 And so I would double down on that.

00:29:23.080 I actually can relate a little bit.

00:29:25.720 My oldest son, born with a hearing loss, had hearing aids ever since he was four months

00:29:33.340 old.

00:29:34.640 He was diagnosed with Asperger's.

00:29:37.320 So wicked, smart in certain areas, socially awkward in others.

00:29:44.000 And then when he was 14, started losing his vision, which then we realized that the hearing

00:29:50.100 loss was actually associated to Usher syndrome.

00:29:53.920 And so at this moment, he's probably about 5% of his vision he has left.

00:29:57.900 But growing up, he struggled.

00:30:03.080 He was on the spectrum, and it's so vague, right, that term, right?

00:30:07.560 But he has Asperger's, autism and hearing loss.

00:30:12.160 And so his speech was delayed.

00:30:14.200 He struggled in school.

00:30:17.320 He had moments of kids making fun of him because of how he showed up or because of his hearing

00:30:23.400 loss and other things.

00:30:24.520 And so he struggled.

00:30:28.200 In hindsight, when I look back at some of the best things that we've done or that I've

00:30:35.560 done that I think is that I understand that there's value in understanding what's going

00:30:43.800 on and we put a label on it.

00:30:45.300 And be careful that that label doesn't become his identity and that you don't put that on

00:30:53.740 him.

00:30:56.500 There's power in exactly the way he is.

00:31:02.040 And if I approach him as something's wrong, that his autism is a problem, is an issue, then

00:31:10.940 it becomes his problem, his issue.

00:31:13.020 It becomes his reality.

00:31:15.000 And everything that shows up in his life ends up becoming barriers against it.

00:31:19.680 Oh, I can't do that.

00:31:20.820 Why?

00:31:21.040 Oh, because I'm not.

00:31:22.520 Oh, I can't do that.

00:31:23.340 And it becomes this self-fulfilling prophecy and limitation of how he shows up in the world.

00:31:31.240 So, and I'm not saying that you're doing this, but be careful not to take those labels,

00:31:37.440 those descriptions, those terms that we get from psychology and doctors and make it their

00:31:43.440 reality.

00:31:44.940 Your son is who your son is.

00:31:47.120 Whole and complete.

00:31:48.720 Perfect.

00:31:50.120 Different than society.

00:31:51.980 Shows up differently.

00:31:52.960 Sure.

00:31:54.040 But you also learn that he'll even have superpowers that normal people don't have.

00:32:00.100 And he'll have amazing things that other people can't do.

00:32:04.340 And make sure don't put that label on him.

00:32:07.440 Otherwise, you're going to hinder his growth and possibly damage his self-esteem at the

00:32:13.140 same time.

00:32:17.100 It's powerful.

00:32:18.500 I don't have experience like you do and like our asker has, but I have a friend and I won't

00:32:24.480 get into specifics, but my friend has a son who's severely mentally and physically disabled.

00:32:32.000 And my friend really loves to ski.

00:32:35.540 He's a great skier.

00:32:36.540 He loves to ski.

00:32:37.440 And they take family trips and they go skiing together.

00:32:40.060 And he told me this story where he has a certain sort of seat or something with actual skis on

00:32:48.960 it.

00:32:49.080 Yeah.

00:32:49.340 And he will take his son.

00:32:50.800 Push him.

00:32:51.500 Skiing with him.

00:32:52.900 Yeah.

00:32:53.800 And so they go skiing together.

00:32:55.060 And when he was telling me this story, he said that he had somebody come up to him and who was super inquisitive

00:33:02.600 about what he was doing and was really excited to see that he had taken his son out to do this.

00:33:08.860 And come to find out that man who approached my friend has a son with a similar condition, but didn't know it was even possible to do something like this.

00:33:17.960 Yeah.

00:33:18.080 And so my friend, through his own actions of serving his son and being a good dad, actually ended up serving somebody else who then could go out and do the same thing with his son and experience life the way that he wants to experience it and raise his boy.

00:33:30.640 Um, I just thought that was really powerful.

00:33:32.920 The lesson that I extract from that is maybe we shouldn't always turn inward so much and think about the great opportunity and blessing as hard as it may be to realize that we have now to serve other people.

00:33:48.420 And is this something that you and your son could do together to not only forge deeper bonds amongst yourself, but to help inspire other men who are in similar situations to forge the type of bonds that you're developing with your son?

00:34:03.180 In other words, turning this into some purpose and turning this into some passion and creating something really, really powerful.

00:34:12.040 Even if you just serve one other guy or five or 10 or a hundred, or imagine you serve a million other people all because you decided to take this challenging set of circumstances and stop wallowing in it.

00:34:23.220 And I'm not saying you are, but not wallow in it and instead turn it outwards and make it something very positive.

00:34:28.560 Yeah.

00:34:29.100 I love that.

00:34:30.200 My, my son, Brendan, um, he skis and, and the ski resort has like a vest, like a orange bright vest that says blind skier.

00:34:40.800 Or more or less, this is, do not go by the sky.

00:34:44.400 He's going to plow you over, you know?

00:34:47.220 And, and I write, I write in front and my son, my other son or my wife will ride behind him.

00:34:54.440 And I kind of make sure that, and I'll yell, you know, if there's like a path issue or something and he just goes down the, down the mountain, you know?

00:35:03.640 But it's like, that's awesome.

00:35:05.540 It's courageous, you know?

00:35:07.280 Like at nighttime, he's virtually a hundred percent blind.

00:35:10.540 So like when we go camping and it's dark at night, he just holds onto my shoulder and we're like, watch your step.

00:35:18.120 You know, let's keep going.

00:35:19.700 Got to live, you know?

00:35:21.200 So.

00:35:23.160 Are you familiar with Eric?

00:35:25.540 I believe his last name is pronounced Weiner Mayer, YN Mayer, Weiner Mayer.

00:35:30.120 Is this the Everest guy?

00:35:31.580 No.

00:35:33.780 So he's climbed, he's blind, he's officially blind and he's climbed the seven tallest peaks on each of the seven continents.

00:35:42.020 Yeah.

00:35:42.820 And he also, uh, white rock, white water rafted down the Colorado, solo down the Colorado river.

00:35:49.760 That's right.

00:35:51.600 Yeah.

00:35:52.560 You, if you guys, if you haven't read his book, he's got a book out on that rafting or the kayaking thing.

00:35:57.980 And also his, the peaks, he's, he's been on the podcast.

00:36:02.000 He's amazing.

00:36:03.380 Absolutely incredible.

00:36:04.740 Yeah.

00:36:04.960 Your son might be inspired by him if you haven't checked any of that stuff out.

00:36:07.640 Yeah.

00:36:07.880 I'll, I'll send it his way.

00:36:09.560 Very cool.

00:36:10.740 Cool.

00:36:11.400 All right.

00:36:11.640 What's next?

00:36:12.200 DT Ray Miller.

00:36:13.760 So we're going to hop over to the gram going through divorce. 0.83

00:36:18.040 I've accepted that it's over and I've moved on.

00:36:20.940 Do you ever really let it go?

00:36:24.100 I just miss my kids so much.

00:36:26.160 50, 50 isn't enough time with them.

00:36:31.560 I've let it go.

00:36:33.020 I, well, I say it this way.

00:36:34.440 I've let go of what's beyond my control.

00:36:36.700 She is not within my control.

00:36:39.080 Yeah.

00:36:39.560 And the circumstances are not entirely within my control.

00:36:42.580 Some of it.

00:36:43.140 Yes, but not entirely.

00:36:45.460 And what good does it do to say, this is, this shouldn't be this way.

00:36:49.860 She's this.

00:36:50.500 And I can't, shouldn't be that.

00:36:52.080 What good is that?

00:36:53.000 Now, if there's some room where you can navigate and fight for your rights as a father, absolutely.

00:36:59.700 I'm not saying you shouldn't do that.

00:37:01.040 You absolutely should.

00:37:02.780 But in my situation, things between my ex and I are strained.

00:37:08.220 They're cordial, but strained.

00:37:09.940 It's not real enjoyable for either one of us to necessarily see each other.

00:37:13.460 I imagine that will get easier as time goes, but I, I'm not holding on to anything.

00:37:18.480 I'm not, I've let go of all of it.

00:37:21.160 And I've come to the conclusion that I get my kids half of the time and she gets them the other half.

00:37:27.760 And if she reaches out and says, Hey, I, she reached out, uh, last week and said, Hey, I, I have tickets.

00:37:34.020 And she didn't even tell me where she has tickets to.

00:37:36.040 It doesn't matter.

00:37:36.540 It's not my business.

00:37:37.460 It's her life.

00:37:39.160 But she says, Hey, I have tickets.

00:37:41.000 Can I, can I take the kids on this Friday?

00:37:43.140 Well, that Friday, that particular Friday happens to be quote unquote, my day.

00:37:47.180 And the answer is, of course, yes, you can have the kids that Friday, of course.

00:37:52.780 And if I have something going on and I message her and I say, Hey, you know, this Friday, we've got an event going on this Friday.

00:37:58.980 And we're doing a mock-up for some other events that we're doing with M42 adventures.

00:38:02.880 And I reached out and I said, Hey, I'm going to, I'd like to take the kids all day to this event.

00:38:07.620 She's like, yeah, go ahead.

00:38:08.500 Cause normally she has them on Fridays. 0.99

00:38:10.480 So that's her time.

00:38:13.040 Like, so we're cordial.

00:38:14.940 We work together in that, but I don't have any sort of like, I don't even, I don't even want, I don't have the desire to make anything work or turn it back to the way it used to be.

00:38:25.380 Which is really weird because I remember how poorly I felt as I was going through all of this.

00:38:30.440 I don't feel that way anymore.

00:38:32.280 And so I've, I've completely let go of that and I'm learning to just focus on the controllables.

00:38:38.300 So when my kids are here with me, I'm trying to give them maximum time and attention, trying to teach them and inspire them and spend time with them and laugh with them and play with them because that's the time that I have.

00:38:50.400 So I make the best of it and the rest is beyond my control.

00:38:55.820 And I would say this, and I've talked about this at length and you have too, Kip, is that a lot of the times we make enemies of our exes and you just end up shooting yourself in the foot.

00:39:07.980 What's the saying? 0.98

00:39:09.000 Cut off your nose to spite your face. 0.98

00:39:11.080 It's like, like, why would you do that?

00:39:13.620 Why would you make an enemy of your ex knowing that she does actually have some say in how your kids spend their time? 0.83

00:39:19.320 So if you're going to make an enemy out of her, are you really doing what's in the best interest of your kids?

00:39:25.000 No, you're not.

00:39:26.520 And not only that, you're actually, you're playing yourself.

00:39:29.820 You're making it harder on you to spend time with your kids.

00:39:35.020 So you don't need to make an enemy out of her and you don't need to be best friends either.

00:39:40.420 In fact, that would be weird.

00:39:42.340 Just be cordial and be helpful and be friendly and be accommodating when you can in anticipation and hope that she will do the same to you when you need that.

00:39:51.760 So the short answer is yes.

00:39:54.460 Yes, you will let go.

00:39:56.460 The sooner you can do it, the better.

00:39:58.340 Yeah.

00:39:58.980 And when I hear let go, I think for a lot of men, what we're talking about here is dealing in reality.

00:40:09.640 A lot of the letting go is the acceptance of the circumstance.

00:40:14.480 You can't change it.

00:40:16.300 Well, it shouldn't be or I shouldn't have to.

00:40:18.440 It doesn't matter.

00:40:19.340 It is what it is.

00:40:22.800 And letting go is dealing with what is so.

00:40:27.200 And it is impossible for us to show up powerfully in the world if we're not choosing to deal in reality.

00:40:38.820 And it kind of requires us to swallow it.

00:40:41.120 I'm just writing notes because.

00:40:42.500 It requires us to swallow it and go, okay, you know, I know where I went wrong.

00:40:49.180 I'm going to take responsibility for my areas.

00:40:51.220 I can't change this.

00:40:52.540 It is what it is.

00:40:54.640 All right.

00:40:55.520 Now what I'm going to do.

00:40:57.920 But most people don't do that.

00:41:00.620 This is anybody that has a hardship with a parent.

00:41:04.700 I kind of use them as the prime example.

00:41:07.520 You know, you have a person that has a broken relationship with a parent for 20 years and they're in the 40s.

00:41:13.560 You know what that problem is?

00:41:15.000 Not letting it go.

00:41:17.020 They're still holding on that the world is the way it is because of mom and dad.

00:41:22.940 Right.

00:41:23.200 And it's like, well, guess what? 1.00

00:41:24.960 They were shitty parents. 1.00

00:41:26.720 Awesome. 1.00

00:41:27.600 Now what?

00:41:29.860 And deal in it.

00:41:31.580 Well, I shouldn't have had to.

00:41:32.940 It doesn't matter.

00:41:33.960 You did.

00:41:34.480 You did.

00:41:37.020 Exactly.

00:41:37.860 So now deal.

00:41:38.900 Deal in reality.

00:41:42.540 Yeah, I remember there was a pivotal moment.

00:41:45.540 One moment.

00:41:46.560 And I'm not sure it works like this for everybody.

00:41:48.440 But there was one moment that I had in a span of about 60 seconds where I let go.

00:41:54.940 Yeah.

00:41:55.520 Completely.

00:41:56.100 Me too.

00:41:57.220 And she said something to me and I won't get into the specifics of it, but she said something and it was the most painful thing that I've ever heard her say.

00:42:08.040 And I don't even think she was being mean spirited when she said it.

00:42:11.340 Yeah.

00:42:12.200 She was just stating what was.

00:42:14.440 And she said something to me and I'll never for the rest of my life forget it.

00:42:18.080 And it was so painful because it was the worst thing she ever said to me.

00:42:22.280 But it was also the most liberating.

00:42:24.760 I was going to say, I'm assuming it was painful, but then you felt at peace shortly thereafter.

00:42:30.580 Yes.

00:42:31.920 Because I could chalk it up at that point.

00:42:35.240 I could say, okay, yep, this is done.

00:42:38.780 All right.

00:42:39.480 And it was hard, you know, and for months it was hard.

00:42:42.540 And now it's not hard.

00:42:44.500 There are hardships, elements of it that are hard, but that portion of it is just not a thing.

00:42:51.160 Yeah.

00:42:51.640 Which is really freeing and liberating.

00:42:53.200 It allows me to move on with my life and focus on my kids, focus on my girlfriend and her daughter, focus on my business that I wasn't doing before, that I couldn't do before.

00:43:01.160 Because I was just clinged on to this thing that could no longer be.

00:43:05.040 Yeah.

00:43:05.180 That's interesting that that was a single moment for you because that was a single moment for me as well.

00:43:12.500 And in fact, it was the complete opposite.

00:43:15.360 She wasn't saying anything mean.

00:43:16.960 If anything, she was like, hey, trying to like maybe see if we could put things back together.

00:43:23.400 And in that moment, you know, and I'll respect her by not sharing the details, but like in that moment I went, whoa, yeah, this is never going to work.

00:43:37.380 Like it is over, you know, and I was pretty much thanks, but no thanks.

00:43:43.800 And she couldn't understand it, but I just knew, you know, and then I felt at peace.

00:43:51.340 Yeah.

00:43:51.540 Yeah.

00:43:52.780 All right.

00:43:53.520 It's just Andrew Six on the gram.

00:43:57.180 If this is too personal, it's okay.

00:44:00.060 Well, it's too late now.

00:44:01.080 I'm, I'm reading this baby.

00:44:02.700 I know you, so I know this isn't too personal.

00:44:05.260 I just said, ask me anything, not an answer anything.

00:44:07.220 So I always have to make that distinction.

00:44:09.420 Yeah.

00:44:09.560 You can ask whatever you want.

00:44:11.020 Doesn't mean we're going to answer.

00:44:13.060 But I'm curious how you dealt with a mentor and close friend coming at you with such aggression when you went public with your alcohol problems.

00:44:21.620 I personally was encouraged to see you facing your problems so openly, but I can't imagine that that kind of reaction was difficult to deal with.

00:44:32.040 Yeah.

00:44:32.480 I, uh, I've stayed away from this a little bit because I don't like drama and this is drama.

00:44:38.600 Yeah.

00:44:38.960 Like I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't have time for drama.

00:44:41.840 I don't have time for nonsense, but a lot of people listening, um, know that Sean Whalen, when, when I had posted this on Instagram, uh, had, you know, made a comment that was entirely inappropriate.

00:44:56.700 It was pretty weak.

00:44:57.680 Absolutely.

00:44:58.500 Yeah.

00:44:58.680 And then, um, and then followed up with his own post on his channel, basically throwing me under the bus and using it as an opportunity to, I don't know, gloat or showboat or I don't know, whatever.

00:45:16.300 Like I don't, I'm not really going to get into motives cause I don't know other people's motives, but it was, it was a low blow on two different accounts.

00:45:22.720 And I didn't, I didn't, I didn't respond to his comment and I didn't respond to his post because again, I'm not going to get wrapped up in the drama.

00:45:34.140 Uh, Sean sent me one message that I, I'm not going to share the details again cause we're not doing drama.

00:45:41.800 It was, it was, it was just, I don't even know how to describe it.

00:45:49.940 It was, it wasn't, it wasn't mean necessarily, or he wasn't like getting after me, but you know, he said something and, um, I, I felt like I was pretty gracious in my response to it.

00:45:59.580 And then I saw him maybe like three or four weeks later at an event and I shook his hand and he shook my hand and we talked for a minute and that was it.

00:46:07.360 Like that's it. Like I get so frustrated with social media at times because I know that I could probably make a bigger deal out of it and I know he could probably make a big deal out of it.

00:46:21.160 And then we could, you know, fight about it openly and publicly. And then we could do maybe like a charity boxing event and like, like all this shit that people do just to like drum up attention and nonsense and chaos. 0.92

00:46:34.580 And I don't, I just don't care. I really don't. It was unfortunate. I think the way that he responded and handled that and that's it. I don't have any ill will towards Sean. Like, I mean, look, do your thing, whatever. Um, but I'm not going to get sucked into that because my mission of serving you guys and, and also personally learning from my own shortcomings and my own failures is where my focus is and where all of our focus should be. 0.97

00:47:03.160 Yeah. And if you're getting wrapped up in my drama because I'm creating it, then that's antithetical to the mission that I'm trying to lead, which is to help you with all of the tools and resources and conversations that you need to be the best man possible.

00:47:18.860 And I know I could drum up drama with Sean or other people. I could do that, but I'm not going to do that because that isn't how I operate. And that's not what I want to occupy my time with. So it's unfortunate that that's how that went down.

00:47:35.320 But it is to your point earlier, the way it went down and that's it. And I haven't really thought about it for probably months until you brought it up again. Yeah. And I'm not saying like, shame on you for bringing it up. You're just curious, but it's not something that occupies my mind because people are people and we make mistakes.

00:47:54.820 And I try to afford grace when people say and do dumb things. And I've talked about that. And I wish people would do that for me. I'd say and do dumb things all the time. If I expect people to give me a little bit of leniency and grace, then I have to do it for other people as well.

00:48:08.620 That doesn't mean I need to continue to be friends with people or associate with people. It just means that I'm willing to let it go because it's just not really that big a deal. And it isn't. It's not a big deal at all.

00:48:20.620 Yeah. And I, I hope you guys heard that and, and took the answer out of the circumstance and the situation of how to deal with it. Right. Right. I'm not, I'm not going to get sucked into drama. If drama shows up on my door, I'm not going to get sucked into it. Why is it going to serve me? Is it part of an alignment with the mission of what I'm trying to achieve? It's not. Oh, okay. Is it outside of my realm of control?

00:48:49.680 Absolutely. Absolutely. I'm not. Yep. I'm going to afford some grace. People make mistakes all the time. Continue to operate in an empowering way. And I can't help but think all the times where I see that scenario all the time. Like I struggle with this all the time, even from a leadership perspective at work where we might do things as an org and I might get frustrated. Why are we doing that? And I'm like, wait a sec, Kip, you can't change people.

00:49:19.680 And, and, and one of my, one of my mentors, his name's David Russell. This, I could talk to him for hours and he had, he would gladly talk for hours. He's, he's a talker. But he said, I was frustrated. I was like, man, I'm so frustrated with this and I can't, we shouldn't be operating this way. We shouldn't be doing whatever. And it, you know, I'm dealing, I'm not dealing in reality. I'm dealing with what I think should, should be.

00:49:48.680 And he goes, Kip, your job is to illuminate and present possibilities for others to choose for themselves.

00:50:01.400 And we grow when you're capable of growing from other people's share and when they grow from yours. But it's not about getting people to see things the way we see them. It's more about creating opportunities for us to see how other people see things.

00:50:22.920 And that's it.

00:50:23.720 Yeah.

00:50:25.140 And that's all we do, you know, and we live in this world. It's like, oh, well, you got to reply, man. You got to reply back because then you'll convince whoever convinced anybody out of an argument and be a little bit.

00:50:37.740 You're going to sound like an idiot. 1.00

00:50:38.720 Yeah. 1.00

00:50:39.280 Like, and you're going to sound like an idiot. 1.00

00:50:40.920 Yeah. And that's why persecution is so ineffective. Back to like my opening comments. You don't get people. Let me say it this way. You can get people to do things by persecuting them. 1.00

00:50:53.400 Absolutely.

00:50:54.720 And by manipulating them.

00:50:55.840 Yeah.

00:50:56.020 But it's not an empowering way. It's not empowering growth. You're not really helping them. Right. Thus, thus, persecution is not that beneficial.

00:51:07.280 No. Well, look, I had other people take pop shots from the cheap seats at me, you know, during that time.

00:51:12.880 Yeah.

00:51:13.080 And not one of those people who took those type of shots reached out to me and asked, hey, man, like, how are you doing? Or, hey, you really messed up. Like, what can I do to help? Like, not one of those critics did. But you know who did?

00:51:27.820 Guys who weren't the critics. Guys who were like, yeah, man, you really messed up. But like, what's going on? Like, how are you doing? What are you doing to fix it? How are you going to correct the behavior? Hey, like, what, how can I help you?

00:51:38.880 Those are the people that didn't say anything online. They didn't say anything publicly. But you know what? My phone blew up with those people. You know, it's the people you don't know. It's the people who want to send. And I had like half a dozen people send emails to their lists about why, you know, this and that about me. And like, I don't need to respond to that. I don't need to get into that. Not one of those people called me. Not one of those people reached out to me. Not one of those people cares about me.

00:52:03.640 What they care about is an opportunity for them to boost up their own followings or their own movement or whatever else it is they're doing. And those people aren't going to last. And people are going to start to see right through them. But it's the individuals who, they don't blast it on social media. They reach out and say, hey, man, you screwed up. What are we going to do about it? But they stand by you. And those are the people that I invest my time in.

00:52:25.140 Yeah. Well said. Gabriel Rejos Davila 1074. I always wonder where people come up with these Instagram names. I'm like generic. Kip. All right. How do you deal with forgiveness with an ex-family member? Ex-family member. Oh, in-law. When you knew or know you weren't at fault for the situation?

00:52:51.140 Well, you don't know that. Because if you knew that, then you would have already let it go. So you're holding on to some guilt or something. Some weird, you're holding on to something.

00:53:06.080 This whole, the theme of this conversation should be letting go. Why are you holding on to it? Like, what do you need from them? Well, you need their approval. You need their apology. You need their-

00:53:16.140 Validation. Validation. Yeah. Like, what? What do you hope to get from dealing with an ex, an in-law? I don't really-

00:53:28.740 I'm having a hard time wrapping my head around the question because if you knew you were in the right, then that's it.

00:53:35.960 And why are you trying to convince them? Why does that matter to you? I think that's the real question.

00:53:41.880 Why does their validation matter? And if you're going to say here, well, it doesn't matter, then you would have already let go.

00:53:52.580 You know, it sucks. I don't know what your in-laws did. Maybe they talked poorly of you. Maybe they screwed you over in a financial deal. 0.94

00:53:59.140 There could have been a number of things that could have happened, but it's done. And it happened.

00:54:03.540 And they're ex-in-laws for a reason. And that's it. Like, okay. I think forgiveness is powerful, you know?

00:54:14.440 And it's not for the other person. It's just so I can move on in life. Like, I've talked-

00:54:18.580 We're talking about letting go. There's people who've said things about me who I forgive.

00:54:22.120 Now, I'm going to be best buddies with them? No. But I forgive them.

00:54:25.040 There's other relationships that I think weren't handled properly when it came to my situation over the past year and a half to two years.

00:54:34.440 I have frustrations about it, but I forgive those people.

00:54:39.780 And what they do now is really on them.

00:54:43.040 I'm not going to stand at the judgment seat and be judged on how they respond to me in their lives.

00:54:49.160 God's not going to say, hey, well, you know, this person didn't validate you.

00:54:52.440 And you didn't make this person feel good.

00:54:54.800 And you didn't make this person feel comfortable with all their decisions.

00:54:57.340 So what do you have to say about that?

00:54:59.040 Like, I'm not going to be asked that question.

00:55:02.380 The question I'm going to be asked is, did you do the best with what I gave you?

00:55:06.620 And did you try to do better?

00:55:08.460 And did you try to serve people?

00:55:10.140 And did you try to learn and grow and have purpose and mission and serve and lead and be a good father?

00:55:15.780 Did you try to do those things?

00:55:17.620 And then let's go back and check the receipts because all that's going to be replayed for me.

00:55:21.240 And in some cases, yeah, I did.

00:55:24.920 In other cases, no, I didn't.

00:55:26.640 And I hope for a little grace in those things I didn't do well at.

00:55:29.380 But I'm never going to be asked or held to account for what other people do or think about me.

00:55:34.060 It's not an issue of mine.

00:55:35.400 So I don't need to consume myself with it.

00:55:37.820 All I need to do is say, hey, you know what?

00:55:39.860 I don't know fully that person's situation.

00:55:42.980 Maybe they were saying things or doing things on faulty information.

00:55:47.140 That could entirely be true.

00:55:48.640 Maybe they have their own lens in which they view life and circumstances.

00:55:54.420 And so they're lumping me into past experiences.

00:55:57.760 That's probably entirely true.

00:55:59.800 But that says nothing about who you are as a man.

00:56:02.440 So let it go.

00:56:04.280 Let it go.

00:56:04.960 Move on.

00:56:05.480 In order to let go, you have to forgive.

00:56:07.400 You can't move on unless you forgive.

00:56:09.800 Because they will always occupy a little bit of your mind.

00:56:12.620 It will always just be there.

00:56:14.980 And then you're going to drag that person around with you for life.

00:56:19.180 I don't want to do that.

00:56:21.140 I don't have the capacity to do that.

00:56:23.500 I have a lot of people who I love and care about who rely on me.

00:56:26.780 And I can't take on other people's problems.

00:56:30.460 Gabriel, I want to make sure you don't miss what Ryan just said.

00:56:35.520 You're frustrated that they have not forgiven you a little bit.

00:56:43.740 And some of the response is, forgive them.

00:56:47.200 Like, our heart at war towards someone requires us to give forgiveness to get rid of.

00:57:04.780 It doesn't require them to change whatsoever.

00:57:09.780 And that's outside your realm of control anyway.

00:57:11.580 So if you have a heart at war towards someone, a parent, an ex-family member, an ex-spouse, your abuser, and you have a heart at war towards them, figure out how to forgive them.

00:57:27.300 And that's how you let go.

00:57:30.300 Not them coming to you going, oh, I was wrong, Ryan.

00:57:34.400 It's all my fault.

00:57:35.440 Oh, now I feel relieved.

00:57:36.920 Guess what?

00:57:37.400 You won't feel relieved.

00:57:38.400 Because you haven't addressed the real suffering that's occurring, and the suffering's in you.

00:57:45.220 And it's your heart at war towards the other person that needs to be resolved.

00:57:49.440 It's not, you don't need them.

00:57:52.360 You need to deal with what's inside your heart.

00:57:55.620 And you do that by forgiving others.

00:57:57.780 And so you might be like, well, I did nothing wrong.

00:58:01.180 Actually, the forgiveness is how you feel about them.

00:58:04.760 Where's your grace?

00:58:05.800 Yeah, right.

00:58:06.540 Where's your grace around the situation?

00:58:11.580 Are we placing judgment?

00:58:13.560 Often we are when we have anger towards someone else.

00:58:18.940 Clean that up, and then we can move on easily.

00:58:23.460 Yeah.

00:58:25.160 All right, let's take a couple more, Kip.

00:58:26.300 I love how these calls end up having themes to them.

00:58:29.160 And I don't know if it's like we come into them with a theme.

00:58:32.100 But it's always, I don't know, every week it seems like once there's a theme set, and it's kind of the tone of the call.

00:58:39.800 So, yeah.

00:58:42.220 All right.

00:58:43.740 Gary Four.

00:58:44.980 I've spent all these years trying to become a self-sufficient, high-value man.

00:58:50.060 And now I'm scared to let...

00:58:51.500 Hold on, hold on, hold on.

00:58:54.600 I was going to say, I'm almost wondering already.

00:58:59.040 Maybe I'm way off on this.

00:59:01.440 Does this have to do with getting validation from any external circumstance or any set of external alleys?

00:59:11.360 If not, I could be way off.

00:59:12.560 No, I don't think so.

00:59:13.320 Just in that first...

00:59:14.120 Okay.

00:59:14.820 I don't think so.

00:59:15.340 All right, all right.

00:59:15.660 Fair enough.

00:59:16.080 Let's hear it.

00:59:16.520 All right.

00:59:17.220 I've spent all these years trying to become a self-sufficient, high-value man, and now I'm scared to let a woman into my life. 1.00

00:59:24.740 The cons seem to be outweighing the pros when it comes to a wife, but then again, I've never been taken care of or loved by a significant other yet.

00:59:34.360 So maybe a little bit.

00:59:36.020 Why even let a woman in when you are already happy in your life without? 1.00

00:59:42.380 Don't.

00:59:43.680 I don't need to convince you.

00:59:45.600 You're convinced.

00:59:47.100 Yeah.

00:59:47.360 What do you want me to tell you?

00:59:48.960 All the things that everybody else has already told you?

00:59:52.680 I don't care if you find a woman or not. 0.97

00:59:55.100 It doesn't bother me.

00:59:56.480 I mean, I can tell you the reasons why I think having a good woman in your life is beneficial, and I certainly will do that in the spirit of the question.

01:00:03.100 But I think the real thing is, like, I don't need to convince you.

01:00:05.900 If you're happy, be happy.

01:00:08.600 That's cool.

01:00:10.400 Like, what's wrong with being happy with where you are?

01:00:14.200 I don't know.

01:00:15.840 Well, and there's some, and as you answer his question, right, there's some loaded meaning in that statement.

01:00:22.300 I've never been taken care of or loved by a significant other yet.

01:00:26.920 Right, because of what I said earlier, and I called it.

01:00:31.460 Yeah, you do.

01:00:31.920 He's seeking validation from other people.

01:00:34.100 I told you that was what he was getting at.

01:00:36.360 Yeah.

01:00:36.520 I've always been a high-value man, but nobody values me.

01:00:42.020 Yeah.

01:00:42.980 Like, I already knew where he was going with this question, and I didn't see it, by the way.

01:00:49.660 So, why do you think it's a woman's job to take care of you? 1.00

01:00:54.580 Is it?

01:00:58.720 I don't think so.

01:01:01.440 Now, look, I'm dating somebody who I'm in love with, and we have a great relationship.

01:01:06.280 I've never once thought it's her responsibility to take care of me or make me feel good about myself.

01:01:11.540 Does it feel good?

01:01:12.580 Yes.

01:01:12.980 Yes.

01:01:13.080 Do I love spending time with her?

01:01:16.160 Of course.

01:01:17.740 Do we have laughs and experiences and things together that bring value and joy to my life?

01:01:22.640 Yes.

01:01:24.240 And if, and she's going to listen to this, and so I hope she takes this in the spirit in which is intended.

01:01:28.600 If this doesn't work out or she's no longer to my life for whatever reason, my life's not over because she doesn't define me.

01:01:38.420 Yeah.

01:01:38.820 So, if she decides, hey, you know what, I'm done, and she's out, I'm going to be heartbroken.

01:01:45.200 It's going to be very upsetting.

01:01:46.360 It's going to be hard to deal with.

01:01:47.420 And also, life's going to be fine.

01:01:49.140 Like, I'll be able to move on with life.

01:01:51.440 Yeah.

01:01:53.660 So, you've got to be careful of the validation.

01:01:57.240 I think you're, I think in this situation, you're probably looking for a woman to be something other than she can be to you. 0.67

01:02:05.840 Which is unfair.

01:02:06.620 Which is, well, she doesn't appreciate me.

01:02:08.820 She doesn't like my hard work.

01:02:10.540 She doesn't give me what I need.

01:02:12.480 She doesn't do this. 1.00

01:02:13.460 She doesn't do that. 1.00

01:02:14.740 She's not supposed to do any of that. 1.00

01:02:18.360 She's supposed to bring joy and satisfaction and happiness in your life.

01:02:24.080 That's what I would say my girlfriend does for me. 0.73

01:02:27.680 But she doesn't take care of me. 1.00

01:02:31.540 She doesn't, like, make me whole.

01:02:33.800 She adds value to my life in ways that sometimes are hard to quantify.

01:02:40.320 But I know they exist.

01:02:42.120 And I love her for that.

01:02:44.080 And also, I'm a complete man on my own.

01:02:47.180 And I want her to be a complete woman on her own. 0.97

01:02:50.700 And I want to be a kind of guy that brings joy and value and service to her life.

01:02:55.080 Not because she needs it, but because she enjoys it.

01:02:57.720 And it's nice to do life together.

01:02:59.060 You said something.

01:03:03.700 That's it.

01:03:06.540 Because she enjoys it, if you don't mind me adding, because you choose to.

01:03:14.060 Yeah.

01:03:14.820 Right.

01:03:15.360 Because you want to.

01:03:16.880 That's it.

01:03:18.100 Not because it's required.

01:03:20.200 Not because it's, you know what I mean, a necessity.

01:03:22.920 No, it's just because you want to.

01:03:24.480 That's so.

01:03:24.800 So, yeah.

01:03:29.680 I mean, it's a choice, right?

01:03:30.840 Well, you often hear about this with love.

01:03:33.160 You know, love is what love is.

01:03:36.020 And a lot of people say love is a choice.

01:03:37.920 Yeah, you do.

01:03:38.440 You have to choose to love a person.

01:03:40.060 Now, there can be emotional feelings, right?

01:03:42.020 And I think that's another descriptor of love.

01:03:44.620 Like, emotionally, I'm connected with this person.

01:03:46.960 I want to serve them and be with them.

01:03:48.520 And also, I want to love them.

01:03:51.380 Meaning, I want to actually do something.

01:03:53.560 I want to make her feel important.

01:03:55.960 I want to add value to her life.

01:03:57.720 I want to cook her dinner.

01:03:59.060 Like, I want to love her actively.

01:04:01.860 And that's a choice that we have to make every day.

01:04:04.660 In the spirit of the question, and I'm not trying to convince you, Gary, for,

01:04:10.580 but maybe for, obviously, all the other people listening to the question,

01:04:17.400 there is an element of who I am as an individual and opportunities to become something better

01:04:25.940 that I don't think was on the table without marriage.

01:04:36.500 Whether it's dealing with the opposite sex or them speaking into me and me learning from them

01:04:44.220 and having someone in my life to learn from.

01:04:46.420 So, I don't want to get that mixed up with not being complete and seeking validation.

01:04:51.820 But there's an element of growth that is only made possible through that.

01:04:56.020 And, of course, then you can tack on having children and say,

01:04:58.900 okay, now the ultimate tool of growth.

01:05:00.500 But there's massive value into it.

01:05:03.680 At least in my life, it has been.

01:05:06.640 And I am a better man for it.

01:05:11.340 Agreed.

01:05:12.460 I mean, there's an element there.

01:05:15.620 And not only that, it's hard.

01:05:18.100 Her and I actually were talking about how hard it is to do this.

01:05:24.080 Like, to pour into each other, to invest in each other,

01:05:28.100 to, you know, have, this is what's interesting.

01:05:31.980 You have two different people.

01:05:33.200 And this is what her and I were talking about this last weekend, in fact.

01:05:35.840 Two different people who have two different beliefs about just about everything.

01:05:40.820 Who have different ways of doing just about everything.

01:05:43.820 Who have a different lens in which they view life for every aspect of life.

01:05:50.880 And then you're asking them to come together and be harmonious.

01:05:56.040 How's it going to work?

01:05:57.280 Like, there's going to be friction.

01:05:59.680 So the question is, is this a friction I can deal with?

01:06:02.340 And is this a person who's willing to work through the friction with me?

01:06:05.060 Because it's going to be there.

01:06:07.160 And does the enjoyable times outweigh the friction?

01:06:11.680 Therefore, we're willing to work through the friction.

01:06:14.080 Yeah.

01:06:14.560 So, yeah, it's tough.

01:06:16.620 You know, I wrote something down that's maybe a little bit different than what you said.

01:06:19.240 And I said this, if you need a woman to complete you, 0.99

01:06:21.220 you probably should be very careful of bringing a woman into your life. 1.00

01:06:23.700 Yeah, you're not ready.

01:06:24.840 Because it's not fair to her.

01:06:26.260 Totally.

01:06:27.040 It's not.

01:06:27.900 If you're like, I need you to complete me.

01:06:30.440 Like, you and women, by the way, are repulsed by this.

01:06:33.880 Yeah.

01:06:35.280 Deutiness, clinginess.

01:06:37.580 I was going to say, they want it.

01:06:39.900 They're repulsed by it.

01:06:41.400 Go ahead.

01:06:41.600 But they act like they want that in their early stages.

01:06:47.560 There's some craziness going on there.

01:06:51.900 It's not craziness.

01:06:53.420 It's just not being totally in tune with what they want.

01:06:56.860 Because they're being conditioned through society, just like men are, to believe a certain thing. 0.65

01:07:01.320 And so, you know, they will say things, and men will too, but women and men will both say things that they don't actually believe.

01:07:10.020 And a lot of that is driven through emotion.

01:07:14.460 But then when biology takes over and human evolution, like, no woman is going to want a loser who can't sustain himself. 0.66

01:07:28.140 She might say, oh, I love him.

01:07:30.140 I can fix him.

01:07:31.240 She might even say that in her head.

01:07:32.880 Yeah.

01:07:33.380 But then when you mess up enough times, she's like, I can't deal with this.

01:07:37.760 I want a man who can actually stand on his own two feet and stand not only beside me, but also in front of me when the time calls for it.

01:07:47.220 And you can't do that if you can't stand up on your own two feet, and you're asking her to stand in front of you.

01:07:52.260 That's not the role.

01:07:54.080 You are to stand in front of her.

01:07:57.900 So, if you can't do that, you might not be ready for a relationship.

01:08:02.920 Even if she says, I want a man to be vulnerable.

01:08:06.080 I want a man who feels like he can cry to me. 1.00

01:08:08.220 These are all the things we will say.

01:08:09.620 It's not true.

01:08:11.740 They don't think that.

01:08:13.540 They might think it, but they don't.

01:08:16.040 In their deepest, harsh desire, it's not.

01:08:21.460 Sure, you know, this is an interesting conversation about vulnerability with women. 0.99

01:08:25.620 You know, some guys will say, oh, you need to be vulnerable with women. 0.92

01:08:27.800 No, you don't.

01:08:31.220 You should be honest.

01:08:33.460 You know, I've had honest conversations with my girlfriend where she's asked me things, and I've been tempted to not lie, but just like put a little bit of a wall up.

01:08:41.180 But I'm like, no, she wants honesty, so I'll be honest with her.

01:08:43.360 And I'll tell her things I'm afraid of, or things that concern me, or things that keep me up at night.

01:08:49.020 Yeah.

01:08:49.220 But I'm not going to babble and cry like a baby, like a buffoon in front of her, because what kind of confidence does that instill in me from her? 0.56

01:08:58.120 None. 0.87

01:08:58.600 It undermines it.

01:08:59.840 Yeah.

01:09:00.380 So I will be honest with her.

01:09:02.240 Hey, I'm scared of this.

01:09:04.300 You know, I've been hurt in the past, or I'm scared of this, or I'm scared of that, or here's some things that I'm worried about, or here's the struggles I'm dealing with at work or my children.

01:09:11.260 But I'm not going to cry and be a baby in front of her, because it's inappropriate, and it doesn't actually help the relationship.

01:09:21.860 And I know all the people who don't agree with that will hear that and say, well, you need to be able to cry.

01:09:26.300 You need to be honest.

01:09:26.940 I'm not saying that.

01:09:27.720 I just said I'm honest, but I'm appropriate as a man, because that's what women want, and that's what I want to be.

01:09:37.360 Yeah.

01:09:38.540 So.

01:09:39.280 Okay, I have a quick question for you.

01:09:40.720 Dan Horgan, are you still slinging arrows?

01:09:44.100 Would love to see you at Total Archery Challenge.

01:09:46.260 I think that's his way of saying, are you going to Total Archery Challenge?

01:09:50.460 Yeah.

01:09:50.800 No, I'm not.

01:09:51.740 The short answer is no, I'm not.

01:09:52.900 Dan, good to hear from you, man.

01:09:54.520 Good friend of mine with Black Rifle Coffee, and so we throw arrows together at Total Archery Challenge.

01:09:59.660 I'm not going to go this year.

01:10:00.520 I've got so much going on, and I've learned to say no to things, so unfortunately, no.

01:10:04.480 But I am still slinging arrows.

01:10:06.220 I have a tripod out back that I shoot from.

01:10:08.480 And, yeah, continue to practice.

01:10:11.780 I've got a bow hunt in June.

01:10:15.480 You and I will be on that one, Kip.

01:10:16.660 Yeah.

01:10:16.940 And then I've got a hunt in Minnesota, and I think I've got one or two others.

01:10:22.280 I'm sure I will by the time the year's over that I have.

01:10:24.760 So, yep, still practicing and getting Kip into bow hunting as well.

01:10:29.100 So, we're spreading the good word.

01:10:30.380 I've got some arrows.

01:10:31.160 I'm going to get in my backyard and throw them.

01:10:34.480 Throw them?

01:10:35.060 Yeah.

01:10:35.620 Spear, dude.

01:10:36.620 Spear.

01:10:37.060 Let's go spear hunting.

01:10:38.280 Addle, addle.

01:10:39.160 Yeah.

01:10:39.640 I like that.

01:10:40.480 Yeah.

01:10:40.760 Do you know what that is?

01:10:41.700 An addle?

01:10:43.140 I didn't hear what you said.

01:10:44.320 An addle?

01:10:45.540 It's like a stick.

01:10:46.940 Oh, no.

01:10:47.300 I don't know.

01:10:47.680 It's like the rubber band thing or whatever?

01:10:49.140 No, it is, right?

01:10:52.660 It's like an elastic-like thing.

01:10:54.840 No, you're thinking like spear fishing almost.

01:10:57.480 No, it has like a notch at the end.

01:10:59.460 Yeah, kind of like that.

01:11:00.520 And you take the stick, and you project the stick, and it hooks into the knock in the back

01:11:06.440 of the, like a larger, smaller spear or a really large arrow.

01:11:13.080 Anyhow, look it up.

01:11:14.080 I'll send you a link.

01:11:14.400 I'm so confused.

01:11:16.300 Send me the link.

01:11:17.120 Good times.

01:11:17.560 Good times.

01:11:18.260 You're not even speaking.

01:11:18.960 You know, like adaladal or something.

01:11:20.560 I don't even know what it's called.

01:11:21.400 I couldn't understand.

01:11:23.640 All right.

01:11:24.420 What is it called?

01:11:26.020 An adaladal.

01:11:28.960 Adaladal.

01:11:29.760 Okay.

01:11:30.160 Send it to me, or I'll look it up.

01:11:31.660 Okay.

01:11:32.120 And I might be saying it wrong.

01:11:33.320 I am from elsewhere, so a full disclosure.

01:11:36.520 But I'll send you a link.

01:11:37.760 Well, I'm from Paralymp.

01:11:38.940 So you and I are trying to, like, communicate in any other language than Southern Utah Redneck, 0.59

01:11:43.200 and it's a little challenging for both of us.

01:11:45.600 Yeah.

01:11:46.220 Oh, man.

01:11:46.980 Good times.

01:11:47.580 All right, sir.

01:11:49.380 So.

01:11:49.700 And then bring us home.

01:11:50.600 Yeah.

01:11:50.960 Learn about the Iron Council, gentlemen.

01:11:52.760 Orderofman.com slash Iron Council.

01:11:54.520 We had a couple IC questions today, and you saw the breadth of that, right?

01:11:59.380 I have this tribe, a support mechanism.

01:12:01.240 One of the guys says, hey, the only support group I have is Iron Council currently in his life.

01:12:06.340 And I spent this last weekend with a group of guys, and they're like, oh, man, this is so refreshing to be with like-minded people.

01:12:13.460 That's what the Iron Council is all about, all right?

01:12:15.940 It's about that brotherhood, and it's about like-minded, but most importantly, standing for one another.

01:12:21.860 Orderofman.com slash Iron Council.

01:12:24.840 You can also join our Facebook group at facebook.com slash group slash Order of Man.

01:12:29.660 And then while you wait for the Iron Council open up for enrollment, you can sign up for the Battle Ready program.

01:12:38.720 That's orderofman.com slash battle ready.

01:12:41.540 And, of course, you can get your latest Order of Man swag at the store.

01:12:45.340 That's store.orderofman.com.

01:12:48.360 And it sounds like you have some M42 Adventures coming up as well, some events.

01:12:55.360 Yeah, we've got an Africa hunt, and then we've got a couple here.

01:12:58.720 You can go to m42adventures.com to learn more about those adventures and what we're doing.

01:13:02.800 We've also got a surf one we're planning next year in Costa Rica.

01:13:05.600 Nice.

01:13:06.080 So there's going to be some cool trips.

01:13:07.260 Okay.

01:13:07.620 Yes, it should be good.

01:13:08.340 Now you're talking my language.

01:13:10.040 That sounds nice.

01:13:10.860 We'll get you out there.

01:13:12.160 Cool.

01:13:13.240 All right, sir.

01:13:13.700 All right, guys.

01:13:14.380 Appreciate the questions.

01:13:15.240 Great questions.

01:13:15.760 We've got some leftovers, so we'll hit those next week.

01:13:17.820 But until then, go out there, take action, and become the man you are meant to be.

01:13:25.940 Thank you for listening to the Order of Man podcast.

01:13:28.900 If you're ready to take charge of your life and be more of the man you were meant to be,

01:13:32.940 we invite you to join the Order at orderofman.com.

Order of Man - April 24, 2024

Ownership over Victimhood, Handling Aggression, and Letting Go

Episode Stats

Summary

Transcript