Order of Man - Pick a Fight ｜ FRIDAY FIELD NOTES

00:00:00.000 You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest, embrace your fears, and boldly chart

00:00:04.980 your own path. When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time, every time.

00:00:10.420 You are not easily deterred or defeated, rugged, resilient, strong. This is your life. This is who

00:00:17.200 you are. This is who you will become. At the end of the day, and after all is said and done,

00:00:22.780 you can call yourself a man. One of the most transformative books that I have ever read

00:00:27.880 on the subject of masculinity is John Eldridge's book, Wild at Heart. If you guys haven't read

00:00:33.720 that, I would highly recommend that you do. It may transform your life as well. There's a quote

00:00:38.860 inside of that book, Wild at Heart, that says, deep in his heart, every man longs for a battle to fight,

00:00:45.220 an adventure to live, and a beauty to rescue. And guys, unfortunately, I think there are too

00:00:49.900 many men out there. You may be one of them. I certainly have in the past, where we don't have

00:00:53.680 any of those. No battle to fight, no adventure to live, and no beauty to rescue. Today, I want to

00:00:57.480 focus on a battle to fight. There is an epidemic among men of depression, anxiety, suicide. In

00:01:05.220 fact, there are studies that suggest that suicide is four to five times higher for men than it is

00:01:11.760 for women. And there's a reason. It's multifaceted, sure. But I think at the end of the day, there's a

00:01:17.020 lot of lack, I should say, of fulfillment, purpose, and meaning in a man's life. So today, what I'm going

00:01:24.300 to do is I'm going to talk with you about six key things that you can do to find your battle.

00:01:28.860 We'll talk about the other things another time. But for today, we're talking about a battle to

00:01:33.320 fight, why it's so important for a man to have a battle, six things that you can do to identify

00:01:37.540 and build your battle. And hopefully that will bring you some, not peace necessarily, but some

00:01:42.740 fulfillment and meaning and purpose behind your life. So guys, we're going to get into it. I do want

00:01:48.220 to mention very briefly that next week on Friday of next week. So a week from today, we're opening up

00:01:53.720 our exclusive brotherhood, the iron council. This is a band of brothers over 1000 men strong.

00:01:59.820 We're working together. We're focused on our own goals, ambitions, desires. We're implementing

00:02:04.660 systems and tools and processes that are proven to work now with tens of thousands of men all across

00:02:09.960 the planet. And I'm very, very excited. It's my goal to make this the largest enrollment that we've

00:02:15.560 ever had for the iron council. And it's not so much about the numbers. It's the fact that we're

00:02:19.800 reaching more and more men. We're impacting more communities, more families, more businesses,

00:02:24.580 more neighborhoods, and more people than we ever have. So if you're interested in banding with us,

00:02:29.440 I'd highly encourage you to check out the iron council. You can learn more, watch a quick video,

00:02:34.160 figure out what we're all about. And of course, get registered and signed up to band with us at

00:02:38.380 order of man.com slash iron council. And inside of the iron council, we're talking about

00:02:43.460 our own battles and things that we should be fighting as well. Now, before I get into this,

00:02:48.220 I will say that there's a lot of battles out there. There's a lot of hardship and challenge

00:02:52.480 and strife and struggle and turmoil in life, just as a inevitable part or dynamic of our life

00:02:59.500 experiences. I'm not saying that we should just take those on just because when I say battle guys,

00:03:06.060 what I'm talking about is an intentional purpose-driven battle, something that is meaningful

00:03:11.920 and significant to you, something that is a problem that you identify in the world,

00:03:16.460 something that you are uniquely qualified to address. Maybe you have experience or insight

00:03:21.020 that nobody else has and something that you can provide an offer to the world. I don't buy into

00:03:26.500 the suffering for suffering sake. Now, I do agree that we should suffer in training so that we can be

00:03:32.680 more adequately prepared for real life, but suffering for the sake of suffering is stupid. There's,

00:03:37.720 there's no significance or purpose or reason to do that. If we're going to suffer, we should have

00:03:42.920 some meaning behind it. And hopefully through the six points I'm going to give to you today,

00:03:46.680 we will be able to find some of that purpose and meaning. So guys, the first thing that I want you

00:03:51.120 to consider is obviously we know it's important. I think that most men, if not all men have some

00:03:58.540 vision of the future, have some way they identify themselves or see themselves, whether it's next week

00:04:03.960 or next month, next year, in the next 10 years, we all are ambitious and we all have hopes and

00:04:09.560 desires and dreams and aspirations. Uh, unfortunately in modern culture, uh, too many of us are relying

00:04:17.340 upon somebody else to figure out what that is or somebody else to provide that to us. I liken it to

00:04:24.300 an injured animal. Let's say an Eagle that breaks its wing and somebody, some bleeding heart finds

00:04:30.960 the Eagle and brings the Eagle in and nurses, the Eagle back to health and, uh, does everything it

00:04:36.400 can that, that they can to take care of that Eagle. And then they released the Eagle back into the wild.

00:04:41.880 Well, if you're in captivity for too long, there's no way that you're going to survive in the wild.

00:04:47.820 And that is true about government handouts, fail-safe methods that are provided by society.

00:04:54.420 I think the more you accept that, not only are you losing a little piece of your soul when somebody

00:05:00.600 gives you what, you know, you should create and provide for yourself, you're actually hurting

00:05:06.860 yourself. You're harming yourself. Now I'm not saying you shouldn't, shouldn't take a hand when

00:05:11.980 it's offered, especially if you do need the help, but man, you got to get out of that as quickly as

00:05:16.620 you possibly can, because the whole goal for you is to go out and be sovereign, to provide your own

00:05:23.300 way, financial resources, spiritual provision, mental clarity. So you can lead and protect and

00:05:30.020 provide preside, which is something we often talk about here. So guys, I want you to go out and do

00:05:34.380 this on your own. And I think deep down, you know, you want to do it as well because each man is

00:05:39.580 asking himself. And this goes back to John Eldridge's book. Am I enough? Now he says for women,

00:05:45.400 they're asking, am I lovely? And I know people hear that. They're like, Oh, beauty is not the only

00:05:49.760 thing. It's not what he's talking about. Lovely is a nurturing, kind, empathetic, compassionate,

00:05:55.140 supportive, all the things that we love to see in feminine women. But for a man, he's not asking,

00:06:02.080 is he lovely? He's asking, am I enough? Which is more a conversation around capability. Do I have

00:06:07.820 what it takes? Well, we don't know. And I want to find out. So when I'm doing something in my life,

00:06:13.240 that's inferior, deep down, like deep rooted down that I know is inferior to what I can produce,

00:06:18.560 no wonder it creates a sense of dissatisfaction at best suicidal thoughts at worst guys. We know

00:06:27.020 we're destined for more. We know we have more in us. So how do we do it? Number one, I want you to

00:06:32.660 ask a few questions. If you can ask these questions of yourself and you can reflect on these questions,

00:06:37.520 you can journal about these questions. You can spend time pontificating and questioning and pondering

00:06:41.860 these questions. We're going to move more into action here shortly, but this is where it starts.

00:06:46.300 Number one, what am I doing when time moves the fastest? What am I doing when time moves the

00:06:52.320 fastest? Because if you're fully present and engaged in something, then you know that it's taking all of

00:06:57.780 your attention and you aren't focused on what else you have going on, what's going to happen in the

00:07:02.980 future, what's happened in the past. You are fully present in the moment. What are you doing when time

00:07:08.380 moves the fastest? Number two, what are you doing that people are continually asking you for advice

00:07:14.460 on? Maybe it's photography. Maybe it's marketing. Maybe it's gardening. Maybe it's firearms training.

00:07:22.620 Maybe it's some sort of proficiency with work. Maybe it's learning how to speak better in public.

00:07:28.260 Maybe it's some sort of organizational, digital organizational, physical space organization.

00:07:33.320 Maybe it's some method of art, whether it's music or film or theater. It really doesn't matter.

00:07:41.780 The point that I'm making here is I don't want you to disqualify anything that you might do if people

00:07:46.240 are continually asking you for advice about it. Because what often ends up happening is they see

00:07:51.380 that there's something in you that you have a hard time recognizing yourself. And we do that a lot of

00:07:57.420 the times if we're really good at something. So for example, I'm a decent communicator.

00:08:01.800 I can take complex ideas. I can break them down. I can repackage and reorganize them and produce

00:08:07.260 them and deliver them in digestible forms like this podcast. So people often ask me for advice.

00:08:14.500 My knee jerk reaction, as is anybody's who's good at something is that's not a big deal.

00:08:20.820 Well, it only it doesn't feel like a big deal to you because it is a gift. It's a talent that you

00:08:26.200 have and hopefully you've developed it. But for other people, they don't have that same talent.

00:08:30.860 And so they're recognizing something in you that you might think inherently comes naturally or that

00:08:36.000 everybody has. And I'll tell you what, if people are asking for advice about a thing over and over

00:08:40.600 and over again, you better pay attention because they, again, might see something in you that you

00:08:47.740 don't see yourself. Okay. So number one, again, what are you doing when time moves the fastest?

00:08:51.740 Number two, what are people constantly asking you for advice on? And then the third thing is what

00:08:56.960 would you do if money were of no concern? All your bills were paid. Your mortgage was taken care

00:09:02.300 of. You got your investment portfolio set up. Like everything is taken care of. Finances is no

00:09:07.400 longer an issue. And every time I pose this question, guys will make jokes and laugh about

00:09:11.460 it. And like, I get it, but I want you to be serious about this. Like, if you know that you don't

00:09:16.960 have a purpose, a meaning, you feel empty and shallow in life and stop joking about it. Like,

00:09:22.720 well, I would do this thing. It's like, okay, stop. You know what I'm telling you to do?

00:09:28.080 Okay. Take this seriously, especially, especially if you feel like you don't have purpose direction

00:09:33.760 and the meaning of your life, what would you be doing? You know, like guys will say, well,

00:09:38.340 I'd be jacking off all day. Okay. Well, clearly that's not in the spirit of the, the, the question

00:09:43.260 I'm asking. Like, what would you be doing? Would you be teaching people about business? Would you be

00:09:49.240 serving orphanages? Would you be training firearms? Would you be painting landscapes? Would you be

00:09:55.100 taking pictures of, of, of people? Would you be building websites? Would you be building furniture?

00:10:03.320 Like what? And if you can't answer that question, then maybe we're not even to the point that I'm

00:10:07.640 talking about now. You got to find some hobbies, find some activities, find some interest, create some,

00:10:12.920 some dimension to your life. I mean, how many of us are so one dimensional? We get up, we,

00:10:18.540 you know, say hello to our wife or our kids and you know, we, we shower and we clean up.

00:10:23.640 Maybe we go to the gym, then we change and we go through this mindless activity of, of getting

00:10:30.320 ready. And then we go into work and we're miserable at work. And then we come home and the kids are

00:10:34.680 bouncing off the walls and your wife needs you to do 17 things around the house. And then you go to

00:10:39.560 bed and you do it all over again. What a miserable, miserable existence. It's no wonder men are

00:10:44.180 depressed, full of anxiety and even suicidal because you've got to create some dimension.

00:10:51.060 You've got to create some edges to your life. For example, I'm going on a hunt tomorrow.

00:10:57.220 Very excited about my hunt. Now I've got all kinds of things. I've got a list here. I've got a million

00:11:01.400 things I can be doing. I've got an event coming up. We've got our iron council opening up. I've got

00:11:05.620 a thousand things plus to do and take care of. And yet I'm going on a hunt because that's important.

00:11:12.000 I'm spending time with my girlfriend because that's important. I'm engaged in activities and

00:11:15.940 hobbies and interests because that's important. I'm trying new things outside of my business because

00:11:20.300 those things are important. They make me interesting and they add a new flavor, a new dimension to life

00:11:25.440 that I wouldn't have if I wasn't willing to engage in those things. Make life interesting guys so that

00:11:31.380 you can answer the question, what would you be doing if money were of no concern? If you figure that

00:11:38.380 out, man, I, we can teach you how to make money. I mean, there's people making money doing some crazy

00:11:43.840 wild stuff. So whatever it is, you don't worry about that. We'll talk about that later. But for

00:11:47.940 now, what is it that you'd be doing if money was of no concern? And then the last thing that I want

00:11:53.280 to share with you, because it's, again, this is so important that we get the, the, the mental side

00:11:57.500 of, of this, right? What injustices do you see in the world? There are certain injustices that you

00:12:03.820 see. There are certain challenges that you see in the world. There are certain struggles. There

00:12:08.420 are certain issues that you wish weren't present. Maybe you experienced those yourself when you were

00:12:13.980 a young boy or young child. Maybe you've recently gone through something that you don't want other

00:12:18.720 people to experience. And because you have that perspective, you might be able to share something

00:12:24.360 with somebody. So they don't experience that, whether it's with the family, professionally,

00:12:28.860 personally, in the community, in the neighborhood, politics, local politics, national politics,

00:12:33.780 there's, there's issues. There's things that fire you up. There's things that keep you up at night.

00:12:39.280 There's things that you're upset about. And you're upset about those things because

00:12:43.620 you've dealt with them probably, and you've had to deal with them and you've had to find ways to

00:12:48.400 overcome them. So if you've done that, you can certainly teach other people how to do that.

00:12:52.940 And that's a pretty good little indicator that there's something that you are here on this planet

00:12:57.420 for. And I do believe that, that we are here. I don't think this is an accident. I think

00:13:02.900 there's a lot of intentionality behind God putting us here in this time, in this moment,

00:13:06.400 with the skill sets that we have. And we're meant to share those things with the world. We're not

00:13:11.820 supposed to hide our light as the Bible may say. We're supposed to share, burn brightly and share

00:13:16.700 those things with the world. What is it that fires you up? What solutions do you have? What experiences

00:13:22.900 are you familiar with? And how can you use that information to serve other people? Guys, please go back

00:13:30.660 and listen to this. If you're not in a position to take notes, uh, if you are in a position to take

00:13:34.840 notes, please take notes. Again, the questions are, and I'm no particular order necessarily, but

00:13:42.020 what are you doing when time moves the fastest? Where are people asking you for advice? What would

00:13:48.600 you be doing if money were of no concern to you? And what injustices do you see? And a part of that is

00:13:57.040 what experience do you have that can help you help qualify you to address those injustices?

00:14:02.700 Guys, the next thing I want you to do is now that we start thinking about some of these things,

00:14:05.860 you're going to notice some overlapping ideas. And once you have those overlap overlapping ideas,

00:14:10.940 I think it's important that you begin to make a plan. Now, some of us get stuck in this paralysis

00:14:16.140 by analysis. These are the analytical types. This is not me by the way, but they'll ponder and

00:14:21.120 they'll stew and they're pour over all the minute details and the trivial nonsense of a plan.

00:14:26.460 And if that's you less planning, and then there's those of us. And I fall into this camp

00:14:31.700 who don't plan at all. We're more intuitive and we just go for it and send it. And hopefully it all

00:14:36.880 works out. And we ended up spending a lot of unnecessary time and money on these things.

00:14:40.860 And those people need to plan myself included a little better than just thrown at the wall

00:14:45.320 and seeing what sticks. I don't think one's better than the other necessarily. I just think

00:14:49.520 we need to be aware of who we are and then temper our personality into something that's actually

00:14:55.240 useful and productive. But ultimately you have to create a plan. I started Order A Man in March of

00:15:00.660 2015, March 15th, 2015. So we're nine years into this thing. And my plan was to start a podcast and

00:15:07.120 a website. I started going to events. I started networking with people. I started inviting people

00:15:12.300 on the podcast. I built the website and then it was build social media profiles. And then we decided to

00:15:18.560 do an event. And then I decided we'd start this closed brotherhood of 12 people. That was the

00:15:24.560 iron council. And now we've got over a thousand people as part of that organization. So it started

00:15:29.060 with a plan. But the point three that I want to share with you is that it's always taking the next

00:15:34.320 step. And I often say this, what's your next first step? Because sometimes what happens is when we look

00:15:41.340 at something that we might be excited about, you know, if you, if you answer those questions about

00:15:46.320 what is your fight, what is your battle, and you've started to identify something, sometimes you look

00:15:52.980 at everything that needs to be done in order to accomplish things. And it just becomes so daunting

00:15:57.180 and overwhelming, especially considering that we have so much going on in life with our personal

00:16:01.960 lives, our professional lives, our hobbies, activities, interests. There's so much going on

00:16:06.560 that it becomes daunting. So what I would suggest rather than add to your plate of anxiety,

00:16:11.880 because that's what we're trying to alleviate to some degree, is instead of looking at the entire

00:16:15.880 picture, just ask yourself, what is the next first step? Again, when I started Order of Man,

00:16:21.080 it was a podcast. When I got the podcast up and running, it was social media. When I got the social

00:16:25.400 media up and running, it was building out a Facebook group. When I got that up running, it was

00:16:29.900 building a closed brotherhood. When I got that up and running, it was do a live event. When I got that

00:16:35.620 up and running, it was opening up the iron council. When I got that up and running, it was buying a new

00:16:39.500 property that we could facilitate our own events on. You can see where this goes, but it's always about

00:16:44.940 what the next first step is. And I say first step because it's just one of one. I don't need you to

00:16:50.440 worry about the next hundred things that you need to do. I need you to worry about the next one thing

00:16:55.020 that you should do. And take that step, take that action, and allow it to see where it goes.

00:17:02.020 Don't put so much weight on it. Don't put so much emphasis on it. Don't freak yourself out and say,

00:17:07.300 well, you know, if this doesn't work, my life's over. I know we joke about that and you might laugh as I

00:17:11.740 say that, but it's true. I've seen so many men not do things because they're so paralyzed by the fear

00:17:18.280 of doing it that they won't allow themselves to do it. Give yourself some grace. Give yourself some

00:17:22.760 slack. It's okay. You know, if you start a podcast, don't say that, oh, you know what? If this podcast

00:17:27.240 doesn't work, then I just don't know what I'm going to do. I'm going to have to go back to my old job and

00:17:30.840 it's going to suck. And I hate life and life's miserable and things on the family front aren't going

00:17:35.500 well. Okay, stop. You don't need to know all that. If you want to start a podcast, then just start a

00:17:40.060 podcast and just let the chips fall where they may. I'm not telling you to do it haphazardly. I'm

00:17:44.940 just saying, allow yourself some grace. What's the next first step of starting a podcast? Maybe it

00:17:51.500 takes off. That'd be great. It's probably not going to. Let's assume it does. Great. No problem.

00:17:58.120 Let's assume the more realistic thing is that it doesn't take off. That's okay.

00:18:02.560 You got to figure, we've tried so many different things. I've tried different podcasting formats,

00:18:06.920 different podcasts, guests host with me, different platforms, different methods. I've tried it all

00:18:15.200 and I will continue to experiment. And you know what? If something doesn't work out,

00:18:19.540 I just write that on the doesn't work out board. And then I do something else. Give yourself an

00:18:25.620 opportunity and permission to pivot, adjust and move on. All right. So we've talked about the questions.

00:18:32.980 We've talked about creating a plan. We've talked about now step number three, taking that next

00:18:38.540 first step. And the fourth thing, and this is very important guys, continue to make yourself more

00:18:45.760 capable. If you're anxious, if you're depressed, if you're suicidal, if you're frustrated with life,

00:18:52.760 I'd be willing to bet it's because you have a vision of who you want to be, at least to some degree,

00:18:56.600 may not be perfect, but you have some vision of who you want to be in life. And your actions are

00:19:02.960 not in alignment with who you want to be. And that disparity, which I call the integrity gap is so

00:19:09.380 vast. It's so wide. It's so daunting. It's so frustrating that you don't even dare take the

00:19:16.800 first step. Guys, what we need to do as men, because again, what questioning are we question?

00:19:22.820 Are we answering according to John Eldridge? Am I capable? So the answer is every single day we are

00:19:29.800 to make ourselves more capable. So if you notice a deficiency in your physical prowess or your

00:19:37.540 physical stature, then your job is to go to the gym or your job is to pick up martial arts. If you

00:19:43.960 notice there's a deficiency in your ability to communicate effectively with other people, then it's

00:19:48.080 your job as a man to learn how to be a more effective communicator. Take a course, buy a program,

00:19:55.200 subscribe to YouTube channels, go present in low risk environments. We've talked about that,

00:20:01.360 but your job every single day is to make yourself more and more capable. I told you I've got this

00:20:06.880 hunt coming up tomorrow. This afternoon, I snuck away, threw a target into my truck, grabbed my gun,

00:20:14.320 went out South and went and shot. You know, some of my shots were really good. Some weren't good,

00:20:19.980 but I was out there doing something that was significant and meaningful to me,

00:20:23.160 which allowed me to better answer the question. Am I enough? Well, I don't know, but I'm working

00:20:28.440 on it. I'll find out in the next couple of days if I have a successful hunt, but guys, you can't feel

00:20:34.960 sorry for yourself while you're simultaneously building a skillset. That's going to help you do

00:20:40.220 more of what you want to do. That's going to help you better engage in that fight and engage in that

00:20:44.560 battle. You can't feel bad for yourself when you're training jujitsu. Now you can, you can,

00:20:51.920 you can convince yourself, well, I'm not good enough. I suck at this. I'm horrible at this,

00:20:55.040 but you know that you're improving. You can't feel bad about your performance when you're taking a

00:21:01.220 course that's helping you get better in that performance. Guys, every opportunity, look to

00:21:05.920 improve yourself. It's called the Kaizen method. The Kaizen method is simply 1% better each day.

00:21:11.260 Find a way in which you want to be 1% better and focus on that and do it. Just do it.

00:21:16.160 Start the next first step. Training, practice, research, implementation, experimentation. Just get

00:21:25.980 better every single day. And then once you know where you're directing it, it becomes even more

00:21:30.560 powerful. Now it's potent, right? Because for a lot of times we're just throwing it at the wall.

00:21:34.620 Like I'm just going to try everything. And I think there's value in that by the way, because sometimes

00:21:37.740 that's how we find what we're interested in. But once you find out what your fight is, because you

00:21:42.240 went through the other process, I'm talking with you. Now you can isolate your activity towards

00:21:49.480 that ultimate desire. Your pursuit is focused. It's laser-like. You know exactly where you're

00:21:56.360 going. You know exactly what needs to be done. Once you do that, you're putting your efforts on

00:22:01.460 hyperdrive because you know it's going to pay off. All right. Step number five. Now, guys, we're going to

00:22:07.100 talk a little bit more about the Iron Council, but just very briefly, because I don't want to turn this

00:22:10.200 into an infomercial for you guys. But ultimately, you need to enlist other men in your battle,

00:22:16.400 right? You can't do it alone. You're not meant to do it alone. Somewhere along the way, we in society

00:22:21.300 have bought into the idea that we're supposed to be lone wolves, that somehow the lone wolf is better.

00:22:26.620 He's not better. He's inferior, right? He may feel better about himself because he doesn't need any

00:22:31.460 help from anybody else and you can never rely on anybody else. But guys, that's bullcrap. Since the

00:22:36.620 time that man has been walking this planet, we have been banding with other men in our area with

00:22:42.080 similar interests, similar desires, similar lineage, similar interests, and then relying on each other,

00:22:48.680 serving the men around us and allowing the other men around us to serve us. Guys, it's so, so important

00:22:55.420 that you enlist coaches and mentors and brothers and friends and advocates and champions who are in your

00:23:03.120 corner actively engaged in helping you improve, doing and saying what needs to be done, having the

00:23:09.260 difficult conversation, calling you out, putting their arm around you when they need to, calling you

00:23:14.100 up to do something better that you may not even believe you're capable of. I have guys in the Iron

00:23:19.120 Council. I have close personal friends. I have people I can call. I have family members who are calling me to

00:23:24.140 be better. And when I see them, sometimes it's frustrating, especially if they're calling me out.

00:23:29.140 But that's the only way that we improve. We can't change our life or our circumstances in this little

00:23:34.680 narrow box of our own mind that we've created for ourselves. It's the reason you're listening to this

00:23:40.120 podcast. You already believe what I'm telling you. If you didn't believe what I was telling you, you

00:23:45.420 wouldn't be listening to this podcast or any other podcast you might listen to. But you know, new

00:23:50.500 knowledge comes from external sources, not internal ones. Listen to podcasts, read books, go to programs,

00:23:59.900 go to events, buy and purchase courses, join the Iron Council Brotherhoods, read the Bible. Like there's

00:24:06.100 stories and there's lessons and there's examples and there's people who want to serve you. The battle

00:24:12.800 that you want to fight, if you've identified it, is too great. It's too grand for you to do by yourself.

00:24:19.620 And if it isn't, I challenge you to think about something a little harder because it's going to give you

00:24:23.440 more meaning. You cannot do it alone. And why would you want to? You know, if you're excited about

00:24:30.000 something and you think you have a solution to some problem or injustice in the world, don't you want to

00:24:34.520 shout that from the rooftops? Don't you want to proselyte that mission, whatever that mission may be? Don't you

00:24:40.300 want other people involved spreading the message? Of course you do. So it's time that we enlist other

00:24:46.320 brothers, other men in our corner and they have to be men by the way. And I'm not saying you can't

00:24:50.920 have female friends. Sure. If you want, that's another discussion for another day, but you do

00:24:56.040 have to have some men in your corner where it's exclusively men that you can talk with, address

00:25:01.500 these things because they're going to hold you accountable and hold you to task in a way that the

00:25:05.760 women in your life either won't or can't. You have to have men in your corner. And guys, the last

00:25:12.920 thing that I want to share with you here today is that on your quest for this battle to fight,

00:25:18.400 as John Eldridge would say, look at this as a process of evolution. I look at pictures of myself

00:25:23.760 from two years ago in the midst of some really challenging circumstances with alcohol abuse and

00:25:28.900 the beginning of the end of my 18 year marriage. And I'm a completely different man than I was two

00:25:36.620 years ago. And I hope that I'm a completely different man in two years. I don't want to be the

00:25:41.740 same person. Every once in a while, I'll have somebody on social media say, well, you know,

00:25:45.380 Ryan, what you said today conflicts with what you said seven years ago. Well, I hope it does.

00:25:52.280 Because if I'm saying the same thing seven years later, what in the world have I been doing with

00:25:57.560 the seven years of my life that I could have been evolving and growing and morphing and changing and

00:26:03.700 improving and becoming a superior version to the man I was seven years ago? Don't ever listen to

00:26:10.640 somebody who has a vested interest in you staying the same, maintaining the status quo. Your job on

00:26:16.780 this planet is to serve other people in meaningful and significant ways like we're talking about today.

00:26:23.300 And the only way you can do that is to evolve, is to make yourself into something better physically,

00:26:30.980 mentally, emotionally, spiritually, relationally, financially. Start covering all these bases.

00:26:38.000 I don't care where you're at right now. I really don't. If you're a hundred pounds overweight,

00:26:42.420 I don't care. I don't look at you negatively, but get on the path. If you're a hundred thousand

00:26:48.200 dollars in debt, I don't care. I'm not going to look at you negatively. I just want you on the path.

00:26:54.500 You know, every once in a while I go into the gym and I'm tempted to, you know, belittle,

00:26:58.420 at least in my own mind, I don't do this vocally, somebody who might be a hundred pounds overweight.

00:27:02.460 And then I remember that's a guy who's actually getting into the gym. That's a guy who's evolving.

00:27:08.460 That's a guy who's getting better. How dare I make the assumption that he's not doing what he

00:27:15.260 should be doing. He's there. He's doing the work. How many of us aren't, you know, maybe, maybe,

00:27:21.640 maybe you've been in bad situations. Maybe you're an alcoholic. Maybe you abuse drugs. Maybe you're

00:27:27.220 into pornography. Maybe you're into debt and you're up your eyeballs. Maybe you've gone through a divorce.

00:27:30.780 Maybe you're not in the shape that you'd like to be. Okay. We all got to start somewhere.

00:27:37.520 So regardless of where you are on the path, your only job is to be better today than you were

00:27:43.660 yesterday. And then tomorrow it's better than you were today. Evolve. I mean, isn't that amazing?

00:27:51.540 That's such an amazing thing as a human being. You know, most animal species, and I'm not a biologist

00:27:56.740 by any stretch of the imagination, but I believe that most animal species are operating purely from

00:28:03.860 instinctual evolution. They just instinctually know, like, this is how we perform. Maybe it's

00:28:09.960 been taught to them, you know, through observation, but generally that's how the animal kingdom works.

00:28:14.600 There's no consciousness in it is what I'm saying. But as a man, you're conscious, conscience. You,

00:28:20.480 you, you, you're, you're, you're, you're sentient. You have the ability to decide to be better than

00:28:29.520 you were yesterday. And the only question is, are you going to do that? Guys, I think John Eldridge

00:28:35.560 nails it and surmises perfectly what we should be doing as men. And I, I try to steer away from the

00:28:41.520 shoulds and you should do that. And you ought to do this. But I think deep down, you know,

00:28:46.040 I think that if, as John Eldridge says, you have a battle to fight, an adventure to live

00:28:53.400 and a beauty to rescue, I think you're going to live a more fulfilled life. I think you're going

00:28:58.120 to serve more people. I think you're going to create more prosperity and abundance in your life. I think

00:29:02.160 you're going to be happier. I think it's, you're going to have more significance in your life and

00:29:05.760 you're going to walk a little differently than you did when you didn't have anything going for you.

00:29:09.640 Now, this is our calling. What is your battle? It's not my battle, by the way. A lot of people

00:29:14.200 will reach out. Hey, you should talk about this. And maybe I will. I appreciate those suggestions,

00:29:18.040 but my retort to that is you should talk about that. I'll talk about it too. But in the meantime,

00:29:23.180 you should talk about that. Sounds like it's important to you. So you start talking about that.

00:29:28.300 And that's not, that's not a dunk. That's not a slam. I'm not saying it. I'm saying, no,

00:29:31.920 I really like, if that's an issue, then I want you to address that. And I will help you. I will

00:29:36.820 support you. I'll talk about it on my end, but we can't pawn off these responsibilities and think,

00:29:41.920 oh, well, Ryan should talk about it. Jocko should talk about it. Annie Frisilla should talk about it.

00:29:45.620 No, you talk about it. You do something about it. That's your battle. And you can enlist me.

00:29:52.780 Point number, what was it? Four, five, enlist other men in the battle. You can enlist me. You can enlist

00:29:57.420 other people, but that's your battle. So take up that banner, hold it high, know what it stands for,

00:30:03.140 plan it in the ground, and then do everything you can to build the empire that you want to build.

00:30:09.000 All right, guys, I hope that serves you. If there's other pointers, tips, other things you

00:30:12.320 want me to talk about, please let me know. In the meantime, check out the iron council at

00:30:16.440 order of man.com slash iron council. You can watch a quick video. You can drop your email in there.

00:30:21.640 So I'll give you a heads up. When we open up on the 15th, I'll send you an email and we'll have

00:30:25.940 you there with us. We're talking a lot more about this, but not just this 30,000 foot view that we

00:30:30.580 often do on the podcast. We're getting down to the details and I'm going to hold your ass

00:30:34.560 accountable to getting done what you say you want to get done. All right, guys, we'll be back next

00:30:39.140 week for our interview until then go out there, take action and become the man you are meant to be.

00:30:45.060 Thank you for listening to the order of man podcast. You're ready to take charge of your life

00:30:49.660 and be more of the man you were meant to be. We invite you to join the order at order of man.com.

00:31:00.580 You're ready to join the order of man.com.

Order of Man - March 08, 2024

Pick a Fight ｜ FRIDAY FIELD NOTES

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