Order of Man - Political Turmoil to Personal Resilience ｜ ASK ME ANYTHING

00:00:00.000 Now, there might be some user interfaces that are worse than others.

00:00:03.520 There might be some glitch or some problem that actually happened with the technology.

00:00:09.260 But 99% of the time, it's doing exactly what you told it to do.

00:00:14.780 You just fat fingered the keyboard and punched in the wrong input.

00:00:19.100 That's all that happened.

00:00:20.120 I promise you.

00:00:21.140 The reason I bring this up is because you're living your life on operating systems.

00:00:25.220 So have a better operating system.

00:00:27.600 You're a man of action.

00:00:30.440 You live life to the fullest.

00:00:32.260 Embrace your fears and boldly chart your own path.

00:00:35.200 When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time.

00:00:38.580 Every time.

00:00:39.660 You are not easily deterred or defeated.

00:00:41.960 Rugged.

00:00:42.740 Resilient.

00:00:43.760 Strong.

00:00:44.700 This is your life.

00:00:45.800 This is who you are.

00:00:47.220 This is who you will become.

00:00:48.940 At the end of the day, and after all is said and done, you can call yourself a man.

00:00:54.420 Kip, good to see you today, man.

00:00:55.700 I hope all is going well.

00:00:56.740 Obviously, we had a crazy weekend, not just personally, but in this country.

00:01:01.540 Holy cow. 0.89

00:01:02.340 What a wild weekend with the stuff going on with the attempted assassination of former

00:01:09.320 President Trump.

00:01:10.140 Yeah. 0.74

00:01:10.480 Gnarly.

00:01:11.700 Dude.

00:01:12.120 And so much.

00:01:12.980 I don't know.

00:01:13.520 So many different opinions.

00:01:16.320 And as information was gathered in, I probably got sucked into way too much internet and social

00:01:25.460 media browsing, just trying to get some type of insights.

00:01:28.560 And it wasn't as productive once that occurred for my weekend anyway.

00:01:33.240 But yeah.

00:01:34.520 No, I know.

00:01:35.080 I think I saw some questions for today that we're going to address and we're going to hit

00:01:39.540 heavy on these topics, I think, a little bit.

00:01:42.120 We're going to cover some other topics as well, but obviously just crazy news.

00:01:46.000 And I got sucked into it as well.

00:01:47.540 So I'm sure many, many Americans did.

00:01:49.980 So there's a lot going on that we can unpack here, I think.

00:01:52.600 For sure.

00:01:52.940 For sure.

00:01:53.380 In fact, I mean, there's, we have a handful of questions.

00:01:56.400 I'm assuming that's kind of what was on your mind from a, from a headline perspective.

00:02:01.680 So maybe just, yeah, let's just get into it.

00:02:04.840 And what's your thoughts, man?

00:02:07.000 I think so.

00:02:07.840 I think let's bypass the headlines and we'll just get right into it.

00:02:11.580 Obviously a very dark day for America.

00:02:16.460 This, this doesn't happen often, fortunately.

00:02:19.640 And you can have thoughts about it.

00:02:22.360 You can believe it's an inside job.

00:02:23.800 You can be believe in conspiracy theories. 0.88

00:02:25.840 Some people even believe it was justified, which is completely asinine to me, but this is 0.59

00:02:31.360 a horrible, horrible thing.

00:02:32.500 And I think it speaks to the, the tone and the temperature of American politics, which

00:02:38.800 is really unfortunate.

00:02:40.040 I did spend a lot of time thinking about over the weekend, this common trope that you often

00:02:45.060 hear, which is united, we stand divided, we fall.

00:02:48.340 And you hear all people say that we need to be united.

00:02:51.560 And I don't actually believe that.

00:02:53.920 I don't agree with that.

00:02:55.400 And I'll tell you why.

00:02:57.600 United around what?

00:02:58.880 That is the most important question to me, because anytime somebody says, united, we

00:03:04.120 stand divided, we fall to me, I hear compromise.

00:03:10.080 I'm not going to unite around ideas that I think are destructive and dangerous.

00:03:16.080 I'm not going to unite around ideas that I don't believe in.

00:03:19.120 And the people who don't agree with me, why would they unite around ideas that I believe

00:03:24.120 in?

00:03:24.340 So the only way that we come to some sort of unity is through compromise.

00:03:31.420 And I've said this before, there's certain things I'm just not willing to compromise.

00:03:35.960 There's certain things that are, and there's certain things that are not.

00:03:38.280 So I think we're probably headed for, at this point, I've thought this for a while, is some

00:03:42.820 sort of division.

00:03:44.680 And I don't, I don't exactly know what that looks like.

00:03:47.720 I don't know how that plays out.

00:03:49.240 I know it'll be painful.

00:03:50.240 I know it'll be brutal.

00:03:51.040 I know hundreds of thousands of people will likely lose their lives during this division.

00:03:55.800 But we're at a, we're at a precipice now where there's no uniting around certain beliefs.

00:04:01.360 The things that I share, I mean, I could post something on social media today and I'd have

00:04:05.720 50% of the people complain how horrible I am and how evil of a human I am and how everything

00:04:12.100 I believe is wrong.

00:04:13.040 And why everything I stand for is what's wrong with this country.

00:04:15.480 I'm not going to unite around those people and I have no sort of false expectations that

00:04:22.200 are going to start rallying behind me because all of a sudden they see the error of their

00:04:25.680 ways.

00:04:26.100 It's just not going to happen.

00:04:27.740 So we're in for dangerous times.

00:04:30.000 And as men, I think you ought to really, really be aware of that and not play this little utopian

00:04:35.820 fantasy game where you think everything's just going to work itself out.

00:04:39.600 It's not.

00:04:40.220 How do I know that?

00:04:41.080 Because thousands and thousands of years of human history have told us this is going

00:04:46.060 down.

00:04:47.100 This is a sinking ship and you better be prepared.

00:04:50.400 You might not have to deal with it, but for sure your kids and grandkids will.

00:04:53.780 Yeah.

00:04:54.280 So there's my doomsday message for today to start you off on this, on this Monday for

00:05:01.160 us, but everybody else is hump day Wednesday.

00:05:03.280 So there you go.

00:05:04.340 Enjoy the weekend, fellas.

00:05:09.300 Enjoy life.

00:05:10.180 Good luck.

00:05:10.640 Do you agree or disagree, Kip?

00:05:13.800 I, I think it's bad.

00:05:17.220 You mentioned something that I, I slightly disagree with and, and you, you, you know,

00:05:23.460 like unified alignment.

00:05:25.000 I do think there is a way to it and it's through debate.

00:05:29.840 It's through discussions.

00:05:31.620 It's through, uh, critical thinking and bringing ideas to the table and people considering one

00:05:38.940 another's thoughts and ideas around something.

00:05:40.800 And the unfortunate part is we've gotten a place in our country where we don't do that

00:05:45.860 anymore.

00:05:46.200 That all we do is we need immediately demonize the other party.

00:05:52.060 We grab soundbites.

00:05:53.420 We're not critically thinking.

00:05:54.800 And it's, it's, it's as simple as, well, it's right or wrong.

00:05:58.120 Oh, and it, or it doesn't.

00:06:00.380 And they're right is of course their interpretation of what is right and wrong, but there's not

00:06:05.380 a debate happening.

00:06:06.280 And so you'll never have unified alignment when we don't have proper debate, where we

00:06:12.860 just attack people and jump to the conclusion of judgment and not seek to understand or have

00:06:19.680 a healthy dialogue.

00:06:21.140 It's, and so I think it's possible, um, but we're not doing it.

00:06:26.260 And, and that's not the climate of our current society.

00:06:31.520 Well, I don't, I don't disagree with what you're saying.

00:06:34.000 I just don't think it can happen.

00:06:37.500 No, I don't, I don't disagree.

00:06:39.040 I believe that civil discourse, working through ideas, having conversations brings us closer

00:06:46.680 together.

00:06:48.240 Who's, who's going to do that? 0.97

00:06:50.940 People are insane, Kip, like literally insane.

00:06:55.060 You know, I could post the sky is blue and somebody out there'll be like, on Mars, it's 0.81

00:06:59.140 red. 0.99

00:06:59.480 I'm not talking about fucking Mars. 0.99

00:07:01.220 You guys are like, just creating just like nonsensical arguments over nothing. 0.99

00:07:07.640 And nobody wants to come to the table.

00:07:10.000 We just want to fight and be contentious.

00:07:12.520 And I agree that all of that civil discourse is crucial and it's not going to happen.

00:07:19.160 There's no, there's no path to civil discourse at this point.

00:07:23.120 And I do think it's important to call this out.

00:07:25.300 And gosh, man, I feel like I just repeat myself all the time.

00:07:28.420 So my apologies to the guys listening.

00:07:30.680 They're like, oh my gosh, your Kip goes in saying the same thing, but why don't people

00:07:35.420 do it?

00:07:36.640 And, and it's because they have outsourced their value to belonging to a critical party.

00:07:44.720 And they would rather sit in the space of being a victim than taking ownership of their

00:07:50.000 life.

00:07:50.340 And, and that's what it comes down to your book, sovereignty.

00:07:56.800 I literally do believe that if everyone sought to have sovereignty in their lives, we wouldn't

00:08:03.660 be like latching on to our identities being tied to someone else.

00:08:09.120 Our, our, well, if I, you know, believe this political thing that my whole world's going

00:08:13.260 to fall apart.

00:08:13.660 A lot of that is a victim mindset.

00:08:16.040 It's choosing to put your happiness, your, uh, your success or failure of life on the

00:08:23.380 shoulders of someone else.

00:08:24.360 So you don't have to take accountability for it.

00:08:26.940 It's, it's a lack of taking ownership of one's life. 0.96

00:08:31.680 And, and, and the rub is, you know, you just said this, people are crazy.

00:08:35.700 People are, and they're unwilling to address or face the music of taking ownership of their 0.55

00:08:44.740 lives.

00:08:45.760 So they would much rather stay where they are because it doesn't, it means that they

00:08:50.360 don't have to take responsibility.

00:08:54.360 I mean, I, I, I agree with all of that.

00:08:56.420 And I just think we're at a point now where what we're doing in this movement is at this

00:09:01.260 point here to serve those people who might be on the fence, you know, they don't know

00:09:06.640 exactly which direction they're going to go.

00:09:08.600 They don't exactly know if they're going to take responsibility for their lives or not.

00:09:12.600 Maybe they came from a broken home or a damaged, uh, environmental structure when they were

00:09:16.620 children and they didn't learn this, but they're kind of on the fence and they can see the silver

00:09:21.040 lining and we're trying to serve those people, or we're trying to serve those who have already

00:09:25.500 made a decision to take ownership and sovereignty over their lives.

00:09:28.720 And they want to serve and they want to be valuable and they want to hold themselves

00:09:32.580 accountable and they want accountability in society and culture.

00:09:35.500 They just don't know how to do it yet.

00:09:37.600 But there's some people who are just lost.

00:09:39.700 Like we can't serve, we can't save, we can't help because they're just not interested in

00:09:45.960 living in a civilized society that prides itself on responsibility, accountability, being

00:09:55.420 an asset over a liability and continually making themselves in their environment better.

00:10:01.160 Yeah.

00:10:01.540 And it's unfortunate, but it's the reality from where I sit.

00:10:04.060 And shame on, I don't know, it's shame on a lot of people for, for, for creating polarization

00:10:14.620 for the sake of power or for the sake of soundbites or viewership and other things that to be honest,

00:10:24.360 just feeds this fire of contention.

00:10:29.080 It's, it's really unfortunate.

00:10:30.900 It's really unfortunate.

00:10:34.280 Well, you know, what's interesting, Kip, is I made a post on Instagram and I'd have,

00:10:38.600 I've had people accuse me of that too.

00:10:40.440 And the post that I wrote was the iconic picture of Trump raising his fist in defiance after he had got shot.

00:10:48.040 Yeah.

00:10:48.240 And I said, this is getting unreal.

00:10:49.880 And now if you don't quite understand before, maybe you can start to see the stakes at which this game is being played.

00:10:56.200 The election is crucial and it goes far beyond the consequences of our generation's poor choices.

00:11:00.760 Our kids and grandkids will suffer immensely unless we right this ship.

00:11:04.920 Now I realize I have a picture of Trump with the American flag.

00:11:07.320 And so there's some connotation behind that message, but the message is pretty neutral.

00:11:13.760 The words are itself are pretty neutral.

00:11:17.060 You know, and I had people get quite upset about all sorts of things.

00:11:21.420 I'm like, what, like, what are you reading?

00:11:23.180 Like, where are you getting that from?

00:11:25.080 I simply said that the stakes that are being played here are real.

00:11:29.900 Yes, there's a picture of Trump.

00:11:31.180 Sure, you can make that connection, but also for us and also for our kids and also for everybody else.

00:11:40.060 You know, this election goes far beyond the consequences of our generation.

00:11:43.620 I mean, that could go either side of the table.

00:11:45.620 I'm not talking about one side.

00:11:48.120 Of course.

00:11:49.720 What's to contend with in that message other than you don't like the picture I posted?

00:11:54.880 Got it.

00:11:55.460 I can understand that.

00:11:56.320 But, man, we just fight over nothing.

00:11:59.700 Anyways, let's see if we can maybe bring some of these guys closer to some understanding and some help.

00:12:05.620 Not that we have all the answers, but maybe give them some context to consider their lives.

00:12:09.500 And that goes for, I mean, that's you and I, of course.

00:12:12.740 And that goes for everybody listening.

00:12:15.800 I mean, how we show up matters.

00:12:18.020 We talk about this often in the Iron Council, but it really does.

00:12:21.500 And if we're playing small, if we're lacking integrity, if we're not living a life, I love this phrase, if we are not living a life worth living, then what are we doing?

00:12:35.700 So let's all rise up, right?

00:12:38.700 And be shining examples to those in our lives and make sure that we're doing our part. 0.94

00:12:44.920 And it's not, by the way, that isn't the bullshit stuff that everyone usually does.

00:12:51.120 And it's not resharing Facebook messages and Instagram posts. 0.86

00:12:55.040 That's not what I'm saying.

00:12:55.920 I'm saying how you literally show up as a boss, as a father, as a spouse, as a son, as a brother, as a community member.

00:13:06.300 Are you a man of integrity?

00:13:07.780 Are you assertive?

00:13:08.900 Do you make things happen?

00:13:10.380 Are you showing up powerfully?

00:13:11.780 That's what I'm talking about, not regurgitation of online data and you counting that as standing for something.

00:13:20.860 That's white belt material right there.

00:13:25.900 Yeah, maybe, yes, maybe.

00:13:29.380 But I would also say civil discourse is an integral part of the solution.

00:13:35.580 And so I don't think you're saying this, but I want men to hear, we're not saying disengage from these important discussions and conversations.

00:13:46.660 Continue to have those discussions.

00:13:48.340 But here's one thing I would say.

00:13:50.280 Let's ratchet down the rhetoric.

00:13:52.320 And specifically what I mean by that is let's not attack each other personally.

00:13:59.560 Let's debate ideas.

00:14:01.680 Kip, you and I don't always see eye to eye.

00:14:04.100 We're pretty aligned, but we don't always see it perfectly.

00:14:06.880 But I would never attack your character. 0.99

00:14:08.980 I would never call you an idiot because you see it a little differently than I do. 0.99

00:14:16.280 And this is what we see on social media all the time is somebody says something. 0.99

00:14:19.800 And look, I've been guilty of this too. 1.00

00:14:22.060 But somebody says something you don't agree and you're like, you're a freaking moron. 1.00

00:14:25.300 It's like, well, hold on. 1.00

00:14:28.020 Let's go back to the topic.

00:14:31.720 Is the idea good?

00:14:33.880 Is it righteous?

00:14:35.360 Is it worth consideration?

00:14:37.000 Or is it not?

00:14:37.920 And that doesn't necessarily mean that we have to attack the individual.

00:14:42.900 Even in a Christian perspective, a lot of people get upset, Christians, about like, oh, you shouldn't judge.

00:14:48.980 Actually, in my experience, it isn't Christians who are saying that.

00:14:52.300 It's usually agnostic or atheist people.

00:14:55.360 I thought you Christians didn't judge people.

00:14:56.920 That's what they say.

00:14:59.300 Okay.

00:14:59.560 It's okay to judge the behavior, not the person.

00:15:06.580 It's okay to call out right from wrong without attacking an individual.

00:15:11.380 So if you come across an idea, and maybe it's even my idea that you hear and you're like, I don't agree with that.

00:15:16.800 And here's why.

00:15:18.380 Explain it intelligently.

00:15:21.240 Like, give me some.

00:15:22.040 And I'll make that commitment as well. 1.00

00:15:23.500 I will make a commitment to try to articulate my thoughts and ideas intelligently without resorting to, you're an idiot, you're a fool, you're a snowflake, you're this, you're that. 1.00

00:15:34.220 This is the problem. 1.00

00:15:35.440 And this goes to your point earlier, Kip, why we can't have conversations.

00:15:39.920 Because I don't want to converse with somebody who's going to do that.

00:15:43.120 But if somebody disagrees with me respectfully, I'd have that conversation all day long.

00:15:48.960 I actually like it.

00:15:50.380 I find it enjoyable.

00:15:52.180 Like, what?

00:15:53.120 You think what?

00:15:54.160 Why?

00:15:54.500 Help me understand.

00:15:55.200 I don't understand that.

00:15:56.440 That's enjoyable to me.

00:15:57.480 You know what's great about this?

00:15:58.920 This helps you.

00:16:00.760 Like, I don't know about you, but many times in my life, I'm like, I hear something, I'm like, I disagree.

00:16:04.620 But I can't articulate it.

00:16:07.700 I kind of go, well, why do I disagree?

00:16:09.400 I don't know how I disagree.

00:16:10.880 And by me processing it, I can go, hey, you know, and I learn.

00:16:15.300 I'm like, okay, that's why I disagree and work through it.

00:16:18.960 And I'm better for it.

00:16:20.780 So if I can't debate, if I can't articulate my stance on something, then I'm not also learning.

00:16:27.660 And now I'm just latched on to, well, I know I should naturally disagree because conservatives do that.

00:16:34.280 And yeah, you know, whatever.

00:16:35.620 It's like, well, what about me?

00:16:36.760 What do I think?

00:16:38.240 Why do I feel differently about this?

00:16:40.420 And by processing it, I'm just better off if I can articulate those things.

00:16:45.380 So there's some personal benefit to this as well, not just in the debate itself.

00:16:50.360 So I don't know.

00:16:52.700 Yeah.

00:16:52.900 So let me ask you this.

00:16:53.940 So, I mean, there's a lot going on.

00:16:56.160 I actually, I don't know if you want to get into technical details or some of the nuances of the event.

00:17:03.600 But man, there's some things that are bothering me about it.

00:17:06.540 And I don't know.

00:17:07.800 Do you have some key things on some of the videos that you've seen and you're just like, what the hell?

00:17:15.180 And is there value in us discussing it?

00:17:16.880 I'm not a conspiracy guy.

00:17:19.020 Yes, I think so.

00:17:20.320 And look, I'm not a conspiracy guy.

00:17:22.300 I'm not going to immediately jump.

00:17:23.780 You know, I saw a lot of people be like, oh, the left orchestrated this.

00:17:27.180 I don't know.

00:17:28.620 I don't know.

00:17:29.220 Does the language contribute to it?

00:17:32.180 Yeah.

00:17:33.180 But that happens on the left and the right.

00:17:35.580 But of course, if, for example, if you call somebody Hitler enough, it's not a stretch to assume that at some point somebody's got to eliminate Hitler. 0.72

00:17:44.840 That's rhetoric that leads to, and I'm not saying the person that called somebody else a Hitler is responsible for the assassination of Donald Trump.

00:17:56.640 I'm not saying that because that person isn't actively calling for violence against an individual.

00:18:01.520 But I am saying it ratchets up the temperature and people act on words.

00:18:07.640 The pen is mightier than the sword.

00:18:09.500 We've all heard that.

00:18:10.640 You guys listen to this podcast because words are powerful.

00:18:14.280 So when you say things, especially to people you have influence with, then they're going to hold some weight.

00:18:20.900 And the way people interpret what you're saying is important, and it's also, as a communicator, part of your responsibility.

00:18:29.220 If I, for example, was trying to communicate a message about manliness that nobody understood, is that their fault or my fault?

00:18:36.900 Well, I'm the communicator, so it's my fault.

00:18:40.200 I need to do a better job articulating my thoughts so that people can act on it in a powerful way.

00:18:46.420 So to go back, I am not a conspiracy guy.

00:18:49.260 I'm not going to jump to conclusions, but I have questions.

00:18:55.060 How does a young man, I think he was 20 years old, climb onto the roof of a building that's roughly 130 yards away from where the president is going to be speaking?

00:19:08.580 There's plenty of people who have called out and said, hey, there's a shooter they identified.

00:19:16.900 He's got a rifle.

00:19:17.660 He's got a gun.

00:19:18.280 A police officer even was confronted by this individual, and yet that individual still gets those shots off.

00:19:24.240 I did hear from a Secret Service agent that part of their rules of engagement, and I can confirm this, not with Secret Service, but with government in the military because I spent time in the military.

00:19:36.420 I can confirm that there are rules of engagement that hinder our side from eliminating threats as quickly as we could.

00:19:47.260 And what I heard from this particular Secret Service agent is that in this instance, they were not authorized to take a shot until and unless the president or the detail, whoever they were protecting, was fired upon.

00:20:01.040 So there's part of the delay right there.

00:20:03.740 You might have eyes fixed on a target, and you're literally disqualified from taking that lethal shot because you have to wait until that individual shoots at the president.

00:20:15.780 I have real-world experience with this in Iraq in 2005, 2006.

00:20:20.760 One of our rules of engagement was that we could not fire upon – I'm going to use – be a little bit sensitive with some security language.

00:20:28.920 We could not fire upon unless certain criteria were met, which means that that posed a greater threat to us.

00:20:37.140 You couldn't be too proactive. 0.99

00:20:38.560 It's unfortunate and it's bullshit. 0.99

00:20:40.540 It's the reality of war and battle and violence. 0.98

00:20:43.380 Okay, so let me –

00:20:44.620 So there's things that are questionable, but also I can see some rationale behind it, although I don't agree with it.

00:20:53.240 I think some strategies and things need to change, but I also see the other side of it.

00:20:56.860 If you saw that guy crawl up on the building with a rifle and you're one of those individuals saying, hey, cops, there's a guy up there with a rifle laying down right there, what would you do?

00:21:11.200 You, Ryan.

00:21:12.480 Look, it's easy to say I would have done something.

00:21:17.260 I know, and I try not to do that either because I'm like in the heat of the moment or whatever, but I'm sorry.

00:21:23.300 I think I would have chucked at least rocks at the dude or something, wouldn't you?

00:21:29.800 I mean I'm trying to look at this as objectively as possible.

00:21:34.000 It's so easy to say, well, I would have done.

00:21:38.460 But you know what?

00:21:40.140 Look, here's a couple considerations.

00:21:44.300 What if that's an undercover sniper?

00:21:46.840 You start questioning whether he's part of the security detail.

00:21:50.300 You would question it.

00:21:51.960 Yeah.

00:21:52.280 You would – of course you would question it.

00:21:54.160 Or here's another one.

00:21:56.220 Daniel Penny, he's the guy – we talked about it a couple weeks ago.

00:21:58.780 He's the guy that subdued that individual, ended up killing him in the subway.

00:22:02.060 That hero.

00:22:02.440 We talked about that, right?

00:22:03.260 In my opinion.

00:22:03.780 Yeah.

00:22:05.280 Hero.

00:22:06.560 I agree.

00:22:08.080 And yet he was charged with, I believe, manslaughter.

00:22:13.120 So –

00:22:13.760 You get enough of those stories and all of a sudden you're like, I'm not touching anybody.

00:22:17.540 Right.

00:22:18.440 Is what you're saying.

00:22:20.160 Or, hey, I've got a wife and kids that I've got to protect. 1.00

00:22:23.920 Now, look, I know a lot of guys are probably going to hear this and be like, oh, you pussy. 1.00

00:22:27.080 You can't get him. 1.00

00:22:27.620 You should have went up there and choked him out.

00:22:29.340 Yeah.

00:22:29.480 You don't know.

00:22:30.120 Yeah, you don't know unless you're in that situation.

00:22:33.620 I would like to think I would have done something.

00:22:35.880 I would have hoped I would.

00:22:37.980 And also there's some other considerations that I think in real world scenarios.

00:22:42.940 And there's a lot of people who have not been in real world life and death situations.

00:22:47.740 And you don't know.

00:22:48.840 Like you literally don't know what you'll do. 1.00

00:22:50.880 Like, oh, in a fight, I would kick that guy's ass. 1.00

00:22:54.640 You think he would, but you probably wouldn't. 1.00

00:22:59.680 So I appreciate the gesture, Kip.

00:23:04.340 Again, I'm trying to look at it as objectively as –

00:23:06.440 I would like to think you and I would go rush that together and do that together.

00:23:09.520 I mean I'm not saying I would have climbed up on the roof and got shot.

00:23:14.540 But I'd probably be a little bit of a pansy chuck some rocks at him and hide behind a tree.

00:23:18.900 You know what I mean?

00:23:20.640 Just to cause some distraction.

00:23:22.540 But you're right.

00:23:23.280 I mean – and I'm trying to like evaluate the scenario because when I watch the video, I'm like, why are you guys like harassing him?

00:23:31.180 But you're right.

00:23:32.740 Like maybe he's part of the security deal.

00:23:35.260 I don't know that, right?

00:23:36.560 And so I'm trying to tell a cop like, hey, do this guy up the gun – oh, with the rifle up there?

00:23:40.240 Is that – is he part of you guys?

00:23:41.800 Is he not, right?

00:23:42.660 Like you kind of don't know.

00:23:45.280 And a lot of those secret service guys, correct me if I'm wrong, aren't in quote-unquote uniform or anything.

00:23:52.780 So it's not like they have badges exposed.

00:23:55.180 I don't know.

00:23:55.480 I don't think they do.

00:23:57.320 So, crazy.

00:23:59.360 Yeah, I mean usually they have the uniform, you know, your suit.

00:24:02.540 But I'm sure there's undercover – yeah, I'm sure there's undercover individuals in – you know, that are just walking around that are part of the quote-unquote crowd that you'd never be able to identify.

00:24:13.800 So we don't know.

00:24:14.560 It's crazy, man.

00:24:15.540 And what blew my mind, I caught this.

00:24:18.860 I was like – because I watched that over and over again.

00:24:21.720 And then literally like he tilts his head.

00:24:25.340 Like he's looking this way and he like turned his head just like a tad more right during that shot moment.

00:24:33.540 And I was like, dude, that may have been the difference whether he's alive or dead right now was really that head tilt, which is just craziness.

00:24:45.740 Just craziness.

00:24:46.780 It is crazy.

00:24:50.160 I don't know that it was an inside job.

00:24:54.580 I wouldn't go that far.

00:24:56.120 But there were some major, major breakdowns that need to be addressed.

00:24:59.960 Agreed.

00:25:00.680 Yeah, there's so many conspiracy theory things.

00:25:03.300 Like I saw too.

00:25:04.260 I was like, what?

00:25:05.520 Like people not bothered in the crowd behind him.

00:25:08.960 They're like signaling.

00:25:10.920 Yeah.

00:25:11.160 Yeah, I saw that one.

00:25:11.980 I heard one person say that this shooting took place at 6-11 and 6-11, anything with the 11 sequence, so like 1-11, 2-3-11, 4-11, 5-11, 6-11 is satanic. 0.97

00:25:26.380 Just shut up. 1.00

00:25:27.260 That's a stretch. 1.00

00:25:27.900 Just shut up. 1.00

00:25:30.740 There are so many things like that. 1.00

00:25:32.240 Yeah.

00:25:32.480 It's crazy.

00:25:33.320 Kind of nuts.

00:25:34.040 And it's super like, well, and to your point, you know, you don't know what you don't know until you're in the moment, right?

00:25:40.360 Whether you have like fight and flight scenarios.

00:25:42.520 And so I think we see that a little bit with Trump, you know, going, hey, I want my shoes.

00:25:47.500 You know what I mean?

00:25:48.280 And I want my shoes.

00:25:49.700 You're like out of all the things, right?

00:25:51.640 And whether you like the guy or not, talk about utter badass, by the way, to pause for that moment and go, you know, hold on, hold on.

00:26:02.160 Or, yeah, you know, I was like, dude, most people would be frantically running and not taking a moment to like make a stand.

00:26:14.400 And it was kind of cool.

00:26:16.820 He's rebellious in nature.

00:26:18.000 I mean, you can definitely surmise that from it.

00:26:20.960 Again, whether you agree with it or not, he's rebellious.

00:26:23.480 He's got a fighting spirit.

00:26:30.820 Yeah.

00:26:31.220 Did I lose you, kid?

00:26:32.500 Nope, I got you.

00:26:34.660 All right, man.

00:26:36.000 Well, should we?

00:26:36.620 All right.

00:26:37.080 Yeah, should we do it?

00:26:37.940 Let's give us a little questions.

00:26:38.320 All right, so.

00:26:40.720 Yeah.

00:26:41.180 Well, we're kind of jacking up questions here because we had one about headlines around Trump and our thoughts and reactions to it.

00:26:48.280 Let's jump into Caleb DeLong.

00:26:50.940 Him and Ryan Gant had kind of similar questions.

00:26:54.320 You know, battle plans for this quarter.

00:26:56.500 What are you working on?

00:26:57.840 What objectives do we have?

00:26:59.420 And what do we plan to achieve?

00:27:02.000 And maybe, Ryan, you kind of kick us off with just a quick, you know, what is the battle plan?

00:27:06.280 Just really quick in case we have some new listeners.

00:27:08.440 Yeah, the battle plan is just an operating system for how you approach your day.

00:27:15.240 You know, it's too many guys are going at it haphazardly, believing that they're just going to make the most of it without having a plan.

00:27:21.440 Clearly not having a plan doesn't work.

00:27:23.160 And even if it does, it's not replicatable.

00:27:25.620 You can't do it over and over again.

00:27:27.560 You might get lucky once, but you can't do it every single day.

00:27:31.400 And so we, Kip, you and I and other people in the Iron Council are about creating replicatable results.

00:27:37.700 And how do you do that?

00:27:38.420 By having a system that will begin to articulate what works and what doesn't.

00:27:42.520 And that's what the battle plan is.

00:27:44.420 We're going to help you identify and create objectives and tactics and checkpoints when we talk about those things that are going to help you move in the right direction.

00:27:52.040 And if it's not moving you in the right direction or at the pace you would like, we can then begin to identify where exactly is the breakdown so we can shore it up, fix it, and get better.

00:28:02.660 So that's what the battle plan is.

00:28:04.900 So for me, I-

00:28:06.080 Can I add something?

00:28:06.720 Because I just thought this was really neat and it's related and it won't be as related once you go over your battle plan.

00:28:13.860 Fascinating.

00:28:14.260 I found that I learned this last week from a psychology perspective, one of the driving motivators for an individual is the goal of, or the tracking of improvement.

00:28:27.840 One of the top motivators for people is the tracking of improvement, right?

00:28:31.720 And you can see that in things, right?

00:28:34.480 Look at us as individuals, right?

00:28:36.280 You grab a basketball hoop.

00:28:37.900 Let's say you went to a hoop on a park or in a gym and you started shooting.

00:28:41.660 What would you naturally start doing?

00:28:44.260 You would start playing a game with yourself.

00:28:47.280 You'd be like, oh, right.

00:28:48.760 We're seeing how many times.

00:28:50.020 I'm going to see how many times out of 10 or how many times in a row.

00:28:52.980 No one's around.

00:28:54.360 No one knows.

00:28:56.020 But by default, you start analyzing improvement as an individual and it keeps you motivated.

00:29:03.640 It keeps you shooting at that gym for another hour or so.

00:29:06.780 Or we shoot arrows down at range.

00:29:09.240 Remove the target. 1.00

00:29:10.480 All of a sudden you shoot two and you're like, this is stupid. 1.00

00:29:13.280 You walk away. 1.00

00:29:14.260 You throw the target up.

00:29:16.020 Oh, man.

00:29:16.700 Let's just keep shooting more and more, right?

00:29:18.420 Because we see progress.

00:29:20.600 And you assign points to it.

00:29:22.180 Like it gets, it's part of the human condition.

00:29:26.080 And so not only is it going to help us sure up and analyze and improve, it also keeps us

00:29:32.920 focused on a target and it helps us focus on improvement.

00:29:37.220 And keeps us engaged.

00:29:41.300 It keeps us doing it.

00:29:42.320 You know, if you never saw any sort of improvement in your life, you'd give up hope and you'd stop

00:29:46.840 doing that thing really, really quickly.

00:29:49.580 My sons actually do this.

00:29:51.080 My two oldest sons, we have an adjustable basketball hoop.

00:29:53.440 And they're constantly moving it up and down to see at what height they can dunk.

00:30:00.080 You know, so my second son, he's like at eight and a half feet.

00:30:02.540 And he's like, maybe I can get, you know, eight feet, 10 inches or eight feet, 12 inches.

00:30:07.500 And they're constantly like seeing how they can improve until they can get up to that 10

00:30:11.260 foot dunk.

00:30:12.180 It's what we do.

00:30:13.000 In fact, in the battle planner itself, I, I had this quote put into it and it's by Carl

00:30:18.040 Pearson.

00:30:18.520 It says simply that which is measured improves that which is measured improves.

00:30:24.740 If you want to grow your bank account, you got to look at your bank account.

00:30:27.560 You want to lose weight.

00:30:28.280 You got to jump on the scale.

00:30:30.360 You want to be a better husband or a better father.

00:30:32.660 You got to be able to articulate and identify on what scale you're operating now.

00:30:37.980 Yeah.

00:30:39.060 You have to, otherwise you just won't get any better.

00:30:41.800 So for me, I'm working, we always work on four key areas.

00:30:46.440 And, and so there's, there's, like I said, four, four areas that I'm working on.

00:30:51.820 Calibration is getting right with yourself spiritually, mentally, and emotionally.

00:30:56.420 Connection is, is the relationships that we have.

00:30:59.220 Maybe that's a romantic relationship or relationship with your kids or a brother or a parent, whoever

00:31:04.100 it might be.

00:31:05.140 Condition is your physical health.

00:31:06.800 And then the last is contribution.

00:31:08.560 That's becoming a man of value and giving back.

00:31:11.080 Sometimes you will be paid and compensated for that.

00:31:15.000 For example, employment.

00:31:16.300 Other times it's just being a valuable member of the community and being an asset, not necessarily

00:31:20.380 a liability.

00:31:21.500 So those are four key areas.

00:31:23.180 I'll pull out a couple.

00:31:24.360 So for conditioning for me, this quarter, I'm trying to lose some excess body fat.

00:31:29.500 15 pounds of body fat is my goal this quarter.

00:31:32.000 If I lose that, that will be a success.

00:31:34.520 And then I have daily tactics, things that I do on a daily basis.

00:31:38.560 Number one is daily training.

00:31:40.000 That training changes from day to day, depending on what I'm trying to do.

00:31:43.300 And it's also locking in my nutrition.

00:31:45.160 So I have my nutrition, my diet, everything I have that I want to eat and I'm supposed to

00:31:51.020 eat.

00:31:51.220 So I track all of that.

00:31:52.360 And then with contribution, for me, completing the course Divorce Not Death is a priority

00:32:00.740 of mine this quarter.

00:32:02.220 So that's specifically for newly divorced men who are trying to navigate those first 12

00:32:07.500 months.

00:32:07.980 We'll talk more about that.

00:32:09.400 But I have the daily tactic of working on the website daily, recording videos daily, and

00:32:14.420 then doing research and data analysis from social media accounts.

00:32:18.140 So on a daily basis, I'm working on developing that course.

00:32:21.660 This is, it's done.

00:32:22.700 It's already done.

00:32:23.740 It's just a matter of finalizing it, but it's done in my mind already.

00:32:27.140 15 pounds, I've already lost it.

00:32:28.680 I just have to realize it.

00:32:29.780 I love it.

00:32:30.600 I'll pick two.

00:32:33.020 On the conditioning front, actually, my, you know, I feel pretty locked in.

00:32:37.640 I'm so motivated about going to the gym and getting on the mats that I don't need to

00:32:41.900 track it, right?

00:32:43.300 It's just there.

00:32:44.340 Um, where I struggle is on my protein intake, getting enough, uh, and the good old sweets.

00:32:53.000 So my focus is, is around getting enough protein intake, 200 a day with no candy.

00:33:01.080 Although I do have myself saying I can have candy one day a week, which is usually Saturday

00:33:05.880 or Sunday, but, um, that's, that's the focus.

00:33:09.160 And that's fine because you're deliberate and intentional about it.

00:33:13.480 It's when you're not intent, it's when you're up at 10 30 at night and you're like, I'm going

00:33:17.240 to go have a piece of apple pie.

00:33:19.080 That's the problem.

00:33:20.840 But planning it and saying, Hey, you know what?

00:33:22.540 I'm going to have a Snickers today.

00:33:23.800 It's my day.

00:33:24.620 Cause this is my day.

00:33:25.700 I can have a Snickers.

00:33:26.980 That's fine.

00:33:28.340 That's what people need to understand.

00:33:29.700 It's the intentionality behind it.

00:33:31.320 The moment you stop becoming intentional is when you start to lose it.

00:33:35.240 So for me, it's late night snacking.

00:33:36.800 It, I, I have to shut it down cause I will, I'll go nuts late night.

00:33:41.660 That's funny.

00:33:42.420 The other thing that, um, and I share this one just because it's been so impactful in

00:33:47.540 the past and I'm doing it again cause it's something I really need to focus on is, uh,

00:33:53.500 no phone, uh, from, from six to nine is what I have on my battle plan.

00:33:59.100 Uh, maybe said another way, no phone once I come home from work until the kids are in bed

00:34:05.480 and is that a goal or is that a tactic?

00:34:09.860 That's the tactic.

00:34:10.940 The objective is, uh, it's energy and being present with my kids and I'm not giving them

00:34:17.740 my all.

00:34:18.540 So you know what I mean?

00:34:19.580 Because I'm, I'm distracting myself.

00:34:24.420 Yeah.

00:34:24.860 So we need to hash that out.

00:34:26.500 And there was a question that, that ties into this.

00:34:28.740 Sometimes people have men have a problem with objectives, which is synonymous with goals.

00:34:35.060 So we'll just use the term objectives.

00:34:37.500 They have a hard time quantifying it.

00:34:39.460 So they don't know if they've achieved it.

00:34:41.600 Right.

00:34:42.040 So you said to be more present, to be more available, that, that doesn't mean anything

00:34:47.340 to me.

00:34:48.840 Now I have my own thoughts about what that looks like, but that's probably different

00:34:52.360 than what it is for you.

00:34:53.800 And so when we have these objectives that are hard to quantify, you need to be able to

00:34:59.940 quantify it.

00:35:00.640 There was a question in there.

00:35:01.680 Kip, see if you can pull it up.

00:35:03.100 A guy was asking about, it might've been one of the last questions.

00:35:05.720 And he was like, how do you do this when there's hard to quantify objectives?

00:35:09.700 Like, what do you do?

00:35:10.720 There's something along those lines, right?

00:35:12.040 I'll find it here in a second.

00:35:13.140 Sorry.

00:35:15.440 Okay.

00:35:15.740 So while Kip, you're looking for that, here's what I would say.

00:35:20.900 Just find a way to quantify it.

00:35:22.860 He was talking about, if I remember correctly, specific in the realm of calibration, getting

00:35:29.360 right with yourself mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.

00:35:32.700 So my calibration tactic is not just to be more mindful and understand myself better

00:35:38.720 because that's not quantifiable.

00:35:40.960 But my tactic, excuse me, my objective for calibration this quarter is to complete Jordan

00:35:46.580 Peterson's self-authoring program.

00:35:49.860 That's quantifiable.

00:35:50.800 Black and white.

00:35:51.940 Now it will lead to me being more self-aware.

00:35:54.780 It will lead to me understanding myself better.

00:35:58.620 It will lead to, and my tactic is 30 minutes of daily study with the program itself.

00:36:04.060 And if I'm not doing that on the weekends, then I have created another secondary tactic,

00:36:08.640 I call it, of reading 30 minutes of self-development, self-help information, books, resources, articles,

00:36:15.840 et cetera.

00:36:16.920 So every day I'm working on it.

00:36:18.640 And at the end of the quarter, I can say, did I complete it or not?

00:36:21.720 And it's black and white.

00:36:24.740 You're able to articulate it.

00:36:26.140 You're able to measure it.

00:36:27.080 And then you can say, yes, I completed it.

00:36:28.580 Great.

00:36:29.180 Now you can get deeper.

00:36:30.440 How did you feel?

00:36:31.200 How did it improve your life?

00:36:32.920 When it comes to kids, here's what I would say.

00:36:37.140 Rate yourself.

00:36:38.680 So if your goal is to develop a deeper relationship with your kids, then maybe you identify five

00:36:45.500 specific areas in which you could do that.

00:36:47.680 So maybe it's the amount of time you spend with them, the amount of communication you

00:36:53.720 have with them throughout the day, the quality of the time that you're spending, their level

00:37:00.240 of engagement and satisfaction.

00:37:02.760 And then maybe it's something like trying new things with my kids together.

00:37:07.420 I'm just giving you some examples.

00:37:09.440 So now what you do is on a scale from one to 10 is you rate each one of those, those five

00:37:14.820 areas that you've identified on a scale from one to 10, one being the lowest, 10 being

00:37:18.720 the highest, and maybe you average out to be a six.

00:37:23.180 Okay.

00:37:23.900 Then your goal with your kids this quarter is to turn that into a nine.

00:37:29.000 And you have your five key areas you want to do that, that you've identified.

00:37:32.320 It's not important to me.

00:37:33.420 It's important to you.

00:37:34.560 What is it that you've identified?

00:37:36.460 And then you also involve your kids.

00:37:39.240 So your average might be six today and their average, maybe it's seven.

00:37:43.300 And then in 90 days, you run it again.

00:37:46.440 And now you feel like you're an eight, but they still feel like you're at a seven.

00:37:50.700 Okay.

00:37:51.180 You still have some work to do.

00:37:53.660 This is the power of quantifying what you're going after.

00:37:56.120 And they will easily rate you.

00:37:59.480 You may not like it.

00:38:01.100 Oh, for sure.

00:38:01.700 But they'll tell you if you've gotten better or you're more present with them or whatever.

00:38:05.700 I mean, they'll know.

00:38:06.680 And if that's truly the objective, then it's, it's really their perspective that you're kind

00:38:12.420 of looking for, to be frank.

00:38:15.320 Yeah.

00:38:15.740 You don't get to decide if you're more connected.

00:38:17.820 They get to decide.

00:38:19.840 And also I would say this, you can do this with your, your spouse too.

00:38:23.620 Same thing.

00:38:24.940 And tell her to be honest.

00:38:26.080 Here's the, here's the catch guys, whatever feedback they give you, you cannot rationalize,

00:38:37.600 justify, explain, or defend.

00:38:40.660 You just have to say, thank you for bringing that to my attention.

00:38:45.840 Some of this I'm well aware of others.

00:38:48.980 It's kind of shocking.

00:38:50.360 It's a surprise to me.

00:38:51.320 Thank you for letting me know.

00:38:54.060 Now I know what I can work on, but you do not rationalize, justify, defend, because then

00:39:00.000 they're not going to give you it because you're rejecting them.

00:39:03.700 You're invalidating what they're trying to tell you.

00:39:06.460 So don't, well, the reason I'll spend as much time with you is because I'm at work.

00:39:10.480 That's not the point of the exercise.

00:39:12.740 You didn't ask and they don't care about your excuses.

00:39:19.920 So if they say, dad, I really wish you'd spend more time with us, period.

00:39:25.980 Not, well, I had a big quarter at work.

00:39:29.000 Nope.

00:39:29.440 That wasn't the exercise.

00:39:32.020 They gave you your answer.

00:39:33.620 And if it's important to you, you're going to now figure out a way to make it work.

00:39:37.040 Yeah.

00:39:37.160 So it was Bo actually that, that had a question around this.

00:39:41.840 He was actually asking, and it was around calibration because we know those are kind

00:39:46.200 of the harder objectives.

00:39:47.860 His question specifically is around checkpoints for those.

00:39:50.880 So using the examples that you have, what would checkpoints like a 30 or 60 day checkpoint

00:39:55.900 look like just to address his question specifically?

00:39:59.480 I mean, calibration, you know, for what I'm doing with a self-authoring program, my, my

00:40:06.200 checkpoints for 30 and 60 days are the amount of modules I've completed pretty easy.

00:40:12.240 But a checkpoint is basically the progress you've made.

00:40:15.100 If we're talking about it in the context of relationship with kids, you might, for example,

00:40:23.660 universally, I think taking a trip with your kids that they get to plan is something that

00:40:29.180 they would really find valuable and they would feel more connected to you.

00:40:34.680 So maybe in 30 days, it's like, okay, I'm going to do all this work, but in 30 days,

00:40:38.680 we're going to do something that's interesting to them.

00:40:40.680 And maybe one of them decides we're going to do a camp out.

00:40:43.160 Okay.

00:40:43.400 Well, that's your 30 day checkpoint.

00:40:44.700 You guys have this camp out and you enjoy yourself and enjoy your time, but there's something

00:40:48.940 tangible that you let them decide.

00:40:52.560 But that, that's what I would do is, is just create those checkpoints based on whatever's

00:40:57.160 going to move you closer to your checkpoints.

00:40:58.300 Like in that feedback loop with them.

00:41:00.240 Hey, how's it going?

00:41:01.540 How am I doing?

00:41:03.080 Have you noticed that I'm more present when I come home?

00:41:05.960 Or do you feel like, you know, I'm not ignoring you or I'm not distracted with other things

00:41:11.140 and that we're doing things together and, you know, use it as an opportunity to have that

00:41:14.880 discussion as well.

00:41:16.660 Okay.

00:41:17.940 And when you do those questions, don't ever lead.

00:41:20.300 Like, do you feel like I'm doing a better job?

00:41:22.420 Yeah.

00:41:22.560 That's a leading question.

00:41:23.540 So the question is actually, how do you feel I'm doing with these areas that you identified?

00:41:31.340 That's a, that's a better question, which is going to lead to a more accurate, truthful

00:41:35.420 answer rather than I'm doing a better job.

00:41:38.140 Right?

00:41:38.480 Yeah.

00:41:38.920 Because if I say no, good point.

00:41:42.940 Right.

00:41:43.480 All right.

00:41:43.780 Exactly.

00:41:44.260 Aaron Handcart.

00:41:45.700 How do you get through a friend who is super tied into online communities and relationships

00:41:50.580 to the point where it's all consuming for them instead of building a relationship in person?

00:41:57.100 I mean, what, what do you do?

00:42:06.640 I mean, the only thing you can do is invite him into your circle model.

00:42:11.080 That's it.

00:42:11.760 You know, if you're going to the game, bring them along.

00:42:15.000 If you guys are going to do some pickup basketball, invite them along.

00:42:17.540 If you're going to go on a hike, invite them along.

00:42:19.120 If you're going to go, you know, meet some, meet some girls somewhere, you know, be in a

00:42:24.460 social environment, invite them along.

00:42:25.920 And that's all you can do.

00:42:28.240 You know, I, we can't rescue other people.

00:42:31.000 We can't interject into their lives.

00:42:33.380 I'll tell you what, over the past two years, I've interjected myself less into other people's

00:42:41.360 problems.

00:42:41.760 And it's been amazing for me.

00:42:46.680 Short of saying, I don't care about your problems.

00:42:48.940 I do.

00:42:50.480 I will say that your problems are your problems.

00:42:53.160 They're not my problems.

00:42:54.140 So if I see something that I don't think is going to be good for you, it's not really

00:42:59.200 my problem to solve.

00:43:00.160 It's not even my problem really to like address all that much.

00:43:04.260 I might identify it.

00:43:05.620 I might help.

00:43:06.520 I might tell you that I see something, but outside of that, like that's your deal, man.

00:43:10.980 So here's what I'm going to do.

00:43:13.260 I'm going to invite you into my circle.

00:43:15.020 I'm going to keep you along.

00:43:16.340 I'm going to keep you coming.

00:43:17.200 I'm going to add you into our friend circle and explain the benefits and show you the benefits.

00:43:23.860 But then ultimately, that's not my decision.

00:43:26.980 You can keep playing video games if you want or doing online chats or whatever it is you're

00:43:30.200 doing.

00:43:30.420 That's your, it's your life, not mine. 0.97

00:43:34.620 Just let go of the expectation.

00:43:36.480 It's really powerful.

00:43:37.980 It's a good way to live.

00:43:39.280 Jimmy Hellwood, how to maintain focus on the path.

00:43:44.120 One of my biggest issues I have is being distracted and procrastinating from the path I want to

00:43:49.480 take by social media that focuses around the poor direction of the world is taking.

00:43:53.600 For example, I've been doing great all week, maintaining focus, and then suddenly the Trump

00:43:58.780 assassination attempt happens, and I'm back gorging on what went on on YouTube, and then

00:44:04.360 my whole evening is over.

00:44:06.840 Even though I'm not American, I sincerely hope that you can unite from these last few years

00:44:11.940 of division.

00:44:12.880 The world needs a stronger America right now.

00:44:17.800 Well, I would say this.

00:44:19.420 Don't make it wrong to deviate.

00:44:23.600 You can deviate.

00:44:25.740 Like, things come up.

00:44:27.660 This was an event that is very impactful in not only American culture, but globally, I

00:44:33.460 think, and so things come up.

00:44:35.440 And so you can be interested in things.

00:44:37.600 You can have a change of plans.

00:44:39.180 You can have a change of heart.

00:44:40.420 You can have somebody suggest something, and you were going to do something else, but you

00:44:43.760 think that looks better.

00:44:44.720 You can do that.

00:44:45.980 So give yourself permission to do that.

00:44:47.640 But if you think it's going to be unhealthy, or it could become unhealthy, just set boundaries.

00:44:52.780 That's it.

00:44:53.600 So the Trump assassination, look, I do it too.

00:44:57.080 Kip, you and I talked about it at the start of this meeting.

00:44:59.780 Just give yourself a boundary.

00:45:01.080 Hey, I'm going to look at this stuff for 30 minutes.

00:45:03.680 Maybe I even need to set alarm.

00:45:05.160 30 minutes, I'm done, because I'm moving on to this.

00:45:07.620 And I do that on a daily basis.

00:45:10.240 You know, there's things where I might be cleaning the house.

00:45:13.160 I'll clean the house to distract myself from my work.

00:45:16.600 Like, so I'm like, oh, I got to do this podcast.

00:45:20.520 I got to send this email.

00:45:21.460 I got to do this thing.

00:45:22.280 And I'm out in the living room folding laundry.

00:45:25.640 It's like, okay, the laundry isn't what needs to be done right now.

00:45:29.060 The work needs to be done.

00:45:30.320 So I'll give myself, okay, fold this laundry.

00:45:33.740 But when this laundry is folded, then you are going to do X.

00:45:37.660 And then I stick to it.

00:45:38.960 And then I do X.

00:45:40.240 And then once that's done, then I can go back and fold the rest of the laundry or do the dishes or distract myself with whatever else I feel like I have to distract myself with.

00:45:47.680 But the boundaries and the rules are important. 0.99

00:45:52.780 When you are on your computer, a lot of times, and I'll say this too, ah, damn computer, like I hate technology. 0.98

00:45:59.880 It's user error always. 0.96

00:46:02.880 It is not a technological error.

00:46:05.860 Now, there might be some user interfaces that are worse than others.

00:46:09.640 There might be some glitch or some problem that actually happened with the technology.

00:46:14.700 But 99% of the time, it's doing exactly what you told it to do.

00:46:20.820 You just fat fingered the keyboard and punched in the wrong input.

00:46:25.200 That's all that happened.

00:46:26.240 I promise you.

00:46:28.360 So the reason I bring this up is because you're living your life on operating systems.

00:46:34.120 So have a better operating system.

00:46:38.300 The operating system that has created your life can be adjusted.

00:46:43.020 But you have to have those rules in place.

00:46:45.040 So just put rules in place and then follow those rules.

00:46:47.680 And we know what the rules are.

00:46:49.340 If you exercise, you're going to be in better shape than if you don't.

00:46:52.740 That's just a rule.

00:46:54.340 A principle, if you want to call it that.

00:46:56.860 If you eat better, you're going to feel stronger, more capable.

00:47:01.080 You're going to have energy and focus throughout the day.

00:47:03.520 That's just a rule.

00:47:05.980 If you're able to regulate your emotions, you're going to feel happier.

00:47:09.020 You're going to be able to converse with more people.

00:47:11.020 It's just a rule.

00:47:12.820 And everybody knows what the rules are.

00:47:14.660 Financially, make more money, spend less.

00:47:16.960 That's a rule.

00:47:18.760 It does not.

00:47:19.400 The answer never deviates from that rule.

00:47:22.340 So figure out what the rules are.

00:47:24.080 Figure out what rules you're working that are not serving you.

00:47:26.760 And then replace them with better rules that will serve you.

00:47:30.900 Maybe I'm a nerd.

00:47:31.800 But I find this fascinating, or at least it's helped me.

00:47:36.560 Realizing why I do it is beneficial.

00:47:40.220 And what a lot of people don't realize is we're seeking immediate gratification or dopamine hits of the feeling of being busy and accomplishing something.

00:47:50.980 You'll see people do this when they avoid deep work or work that requires a lot of effort and attention.

00:47:57.500 They'll go, oh, well, I'll just do my email really quick because they get a quick fix, right?

00:48:02.740 It's like, oh, yeah, see, I'm productive, right?

00:48:04.800 And we see this in our society.

00:48:06.160 Oh, how's your day?

00:48:06.940 Oh, so busy.

00:48:07.640 You know, it's like, oh, I'm valuable versus, well, what were the results you came up with, right?

00:48:15.000 It's like zero results.

00:48:16.280 Okay, not that actually great of a day.

00:48:18.760 But it's interesting.

00:48:20.180 And realize that human condition.

00:48:22.400 Oh, I'm going to do a laundry really quick.

00:48:23.740 Why am I doing that?

00:48:24.820 Because I'm going to have a sense of accomplishment fairly quick.

00:48:29.180 But the two-hour podcast blog that I got to write, that's going to take some time.

00:48:35.200 And so just be aware of it and look at all these little teeny distractions that you constantly do to avoid the work that you should be doing.

00:48:45.900 And I just think being aware of it has helped me.

00:48:48.920 And I have actually, you talked about time boxing.

00:48:52.040 I actually have a device.

00:48:53.800 It's like a puck.

00:48:54.700 It's a little circular puck.

00:48:56.120 And I just rotate the puck.

00:48:58.020 Looks like a Nest thermostat.

00:49:00.220 And I change that puck to 20 minutes.

00:49:03.100 And I push on it.

00:49:04.260 And it counts down.

00:49:06.700 And I'll use it to be like super focused.

00:49:09.140 I got 20 minutes to get this thing done.

00:49:11.240 And I'll go all in on 20 minutes, every fiber of my being, to try to get it done.

00:49:16.820 And it's a little game.

00:49:17.760 Like kind of what we were talking about earlier.

00:49:19.320 Now it's a game.

00:49:19.960 I got to get that article written up or that documentation done within a 20-minute period of time.

00:49:26.220 Let's see if I can do it.

00:49:27.180 And I don't do anything else within that time box.

00:49:32.820 Do you have the name of that?

00:49:34.280 Like the brand name of that?

00:49:35.300 I don't.

00:49:35.600 You saw my –

00:49:36.220 Because I think people would be interested in that.

00:49:37.320 You can literally – there's cubes with numbers on each side of the cube.

00:49:40.940 And if you tilt the cube and put the five on top, it will be a five-minute clock.

00:49:45.160 You put 20 on top.

00:49:47.140 There's cubes.

00:49:47.880 There's pucks.

00:49:48.420 There's all kinds of stuff that people use for those.

00:49:52.660 Yeah.

00:49:53.380 I think that's cool.

00:49:54.320 I like what you were saying about look at the result.

00:49:56.360 I mean I was thinking about it.

00:49:57.640 You know, yeah, you have folded laundry but no more money in the bank account today than you did yesterday.

00:50:01.980 So what was a more productive day?

00:50:04.140 Yeah.

00:50:05.020 I think I'd rather have a little more money in the bank account than some finely folded T-shirts.

00:50:10.200 Yeah.

00:50:10.640 Well, and I think – who else does this?

00:50:12.560 I think Andy Priscilla.

00:50:13.980 He talks about his – I think his power list.

00:50:16.280 And does he get that done first before he does anything else, which forces him to almost do those items?

00:50:23.100 I don't know if he does it first.

00:50:24.360 But, yeah.

00:50:26.800 Well, you know, here's an example.

00:50:28.320 The other day – and I have to-do lists everywhere.

00:50:31.200 I will operate really well with lists.

00:50:33.800 And the other day, my girlfriend and I were going to a friend's wedding.

00:50:38.640 And that was on Thursday.

00:50:40.040 And so we went Thursday late morning we left.

00:50:43.300 And I had about three hours that I could do some work for Thursday, Friday, and then get ready for this week.

00:50:49.960 I was more productive in that three hours than the three previous days combined.

00:50:56.200 So what does that tell you?

00:50:58.500 It tells you how good we as human beings are at procrastinating.

00:51:02.400 And I can't remember the law right offhand, but that your work expands to the time allotted.

00:51:11.300 And when your time allotted contracts to your point about 20 minutes, then the work, the time it takes to get it done contracts as well.

00:51:19.400 What law is that?

00:51:19.720 So while you look that up, look through – I mean, how many times have there been a scenario where you have –

00:51:26.380 Parkinson's.

00:51:26.860 I have 10 minutes. 0.98

00:51:28.340 Holy crap. 0.99

00:51:29.280 Like it's a holy crap moment. 0.99

00:51:31.460 And you just mad scramble. 0.97

00:51:34.520 And all of a sudden you're like, how in the hell did I get that done in 10 minutes?

00:51:38.900 That's the principle.

00:51:39.760 Yeah.

00:51:40.520 Yeah.

00:51:42.460 It's Parkinson's law is what it is.

00:51:45.220 I love it.

00:51:45.680 All right.

00:51:46.860 Daniel Franklin, if you've never went through the rites of passage with your father, such as your first buck or a filet crepey – I don't even know what that is – or how to control your temper, how do you teach those to your son?

00:52:03.500 So how do you teach your son these rites of passages or important principles that were never taught to you?

00:52:10.520 Okay.

00:52:11.000 So there's two ways you can do it.

00:52:13.360 First, you have to learn it first.

00:52:15.440 You have to address the lack of knowledge.

00:52:18.020 Yeah.

00:52:19.400 Yeah.

00:52:20.040 So if you've never shot a buck, then you need to get into hunting.

00:52:25.020 If you've never fileted a fish, then you need to go out and fish and then filet a fish.

00:52:30.220 What was the other example he used?

00:52:33.820 Okay.

00:52:34.280 So if you don't know how to regulate your emotions and you always get angry, then you need to start reading a book or listening to a podcast about how to understand your emotions better.

00:52:43.100 The one I would give you is Men's Work by Connor Beaton.

00:52:47.200 That will help you regulate your emotions more effectively.

00:52:49.680 He's a good friend.

00:52:50.360 He's a dear friend of mine.

00:52:51.320 And he's got some really, really powerful information on that.

00:52:53.900 So you have to learn it.

00:52:55.900 That's number one.

00:52:57.000 There's another way, actually.

00:52:59.080 And most people overlook this.

00:53:00.840 With your kids, this is actually really powerful.

00:53:03.160 You can learn it together.

00:53:04.380 So let's say, Kip, you're my son, hypothetically, in this scenario.

00:53:10.320 And, yeah, don't say that.

00:53:14.280 Don't ever say that again.

00:53:15.620 You just got work. 1.00

00:53:16.260 That's the weirdest shit you've ever said, Kip. 0.99

00:53:20.160 I got to lighten it up, dude. 1.00

00:53:21.540 You started off this podcast with, like, hey, guess what? 0.99

00:53:25.480 Everything's going to shit. 0.99

00:53:26.980 Good luck. 0.99

00:53:27.580 And there's nothing you can do about it.

00:53:34.740 So Kip is my son.

00:53:36.800 I'm his daddy.

00:53:38.380 And we both decide.

00:53:41.820 I can't even take this seriously now, man.

00:53:44.020 We both decide that, you know what?

00:53:45.640 Like, maybe we want to figure out how to hunt.

00:53:48.900 And then we do it together.

00:53:50.760 Hey, where would you like to go?

00:53:53.120 What do you want to hunt?

00:53:54.920 How are you going to contribute?

00:53:56.160 I'll take care of it financially because I'm making money.

00:53:59.280 You're not.

00:53:59.700 You're my kid.

00:54:00.900 So what are you going to do?

00:54:02.440 How are you going to pull your weight?

00:54:04.140 What resources do we need?

00:54:05.480 Why don't you research some guns?

00:54:06.720 What do you want to look at? 0.61

00:54:07.520 Let's go shoot together and get the ego out of the way. 0.99

00:54:11.620 I think a lot of the times in these scenarios and environments, you as a father might believe, like, oh, I should.

00:54:16.860 I should know how to do this, and I don't.

00:54:18.840 And you're embarrassed because your ego.

00:54:22.120 Why should you know how to do it?

00:54:23.680 That's what I want to know.

00:54:26.580 Like, all these guys were like, oh, you should know how to do that.

00:54:28.920 Why should I know?

00:54:29.860 Nobody ever taught me.

00:54:30.780 Why should I know how to change a tire?

00:54:34.720 Why should I know how to shoot a gun?

00:54:37.960 Why should I know how to do an oil change on my car, basic maintenance around the house?

00:54:42.160 Like, why should I know?

00:54:43.020 I never learned those things.

00:54:44.280 So get rid of the shoulds and the ego around it and just say, you know what?

00:54:50.820 Yeah, maybe that is something that would be good for me to learn.

00:54:53.320 And so now as a 43-year-old man, I'm going to figure it out.

00:54:56.540 And I've got a 16-year-old son and a 12-year-old son and a 10-year-old daughter and an 8-year-old son.

00:55:01.840 And we're going to do it together.

00:55:02.920 And what a powerful way to bond with your kids.

00:55:07.120 When there's no ego involved, you're all contributing in a cool way.

00:55:11.440 You're learning something new together.

00:55:13.560 You may or may not do it ever again.

00:55:16.140 But get rid of this thing like, I have to have it figured out or I'm less of a father.

00:55:20.840 And just do it together.

00:55:21.900 I promise your kids are going to love it.

00:55:23.700 My oldest son and I, we hunt a lot together.

00:55:26.980 I didn't know how to hunt.

00:55:28.140 He knew that.

00:55:29.060 In fact, he's a better hunter than I am.

00:55:30.960 We're going to Africa together in three weeks.

00:55:35.080 I will not, because it's not true, go into that environment and pretend like I'm a better hunter than him.

00:55:42.320 It's number one, it's just not accurate.

00:55:45.080 And number two, it just doesn't help the dynamic.

00:55:47.960 Like I can learn things from him if I'm humble about it.

00:55:52.020 And I go into it with the spirit of learning together and experiencing it in a fun way without the expectation of I'm the man.

00:56:00.960 I'm the dad.

00:56:02.180 You do it my way.

00:56:03.620 That's not helping.

00:56:04.140 It doesn't help you.

00:56:05.680 Everyone think about it right now.

00:56:07.380 Imagine your dad.

00:56:08.140 And then imagine a scenario by which your dad came to you and said, hey, son, I've always wanted to do this.

00:56:14.880 I don't know how to do it.

00:56:16.440 Do you want to learn together?

00:56:17.720 And you tell me you think less of your father for doing that.

00:56:22.300 Of course you wouldn't.

00:56:23.360 Yeah.

00:56:24.240 I would have loved to be part of that with my dad.

00:56:29.020 How awesome that would have been.

00:56:30.620 I would have been edified and better off.

00:56:37.580 Well, Kip, you know, as you're saying that, there's also things that you might know, but you can still approach it with that level of humility and learning.

00:56:44.480 So let's take a very small example.

00:56:46.840 Let's say the car battery is dead.

00:56:49.520 And you need to replace the battery in the car.

00:56:51.580 Well, you know how to do that.

00:56:52.820 And so instead you decide, hey, you know what?

00:56:57.180 My son or my daughter doesn't know how to do that.

00:56:59.600 So you bring out little Billy or little Susie and you're like, hey, Susie, like we need to change the battery in the car.

00:57:04.860 The battery is dead.

00:57:05.560 And here's how I know that.

00:57:07.380 And so I figured you and I could spend the morning doing that.

00:57:11.820 So let's go ahead and pop the hood of the car.

00:57:13.980 Do you know how to pop the hood of the truck?

00:57:16.180 No.

00:57:16.840 Okay, well, open the door.

00:57:18.600 It's right there.

00:57:19.600 Go ahead and pull on that latch.

00:57:20.900 And then you come around the front.

00:57:21.960 There's another little latch you got to lift up.

00:57:23.580 Then you got to put this thing here.

00:57:25.060 And then we're going to need some tools.

00:57:26.760 Do you know where the battery is?

00:57:28.120 And she's like, you know, points it out.

00:57:30.380 Cool.

00:57:30.720 We're going to need some tools.

00:57:31.640 What do you think we might need?

00:57:33.900 And you teach her in a very humble way by experiencing it together.

00:57:38.780 And now you just didn't regurgitate a bunch of information.

00:57:41.260 She actively did the thing. 0.88

00:57:43.400 And not only is she going to learn better, but she's going to feel more proud about it because it wasn't dad who changed the battery.

00:57:50.100 Susie changed the battery in the car.

00:57:52.860 She's contributing to the family, and she's making her dad proud.

00:57:57.160 That's a way better way than just to say, as we all do as dads, like, hold the flashlight, right, which is terrifying for kids.

00:58:03.960 Have you seen that short meme video where this dad's holding the measuring tape, and there's, like, a little three-year-old on the other side?

00:58:13.820 He's like, hold the effing tape.

00:58:15.800 Oh, yeah.

00:58:16.260 Have you seen that one?

00:58:17.500 And he's like, totally.

00:58:19.580 Yeah.

00:58:20.420 And we all laugh because we're all, like, all been there as dads.

00:58:24.000 On both ends.

00:58:25.520 And kids.

00:58:26.800 Yeah, true.

00:58:27.120 All right.

00:58:27.280 Last question here.

00:58:28.300 Yeah.

00:58:29.260 That's how I would do it.

00:58:29.980 Chris Ferguson, how do you recollect yourself after the sudden and unexpected loss of a friend?

00:58:40.960 Well, first of all, if that's the case that you're dealing with now, I'm sorry to hear that.

00:58:44.800 That would be very difficult.

00:58:46.820 I don't think that I've lost somebody.

00:58:50.340 You know, I've lost my grandparents.

00:58:51.560 We weren't real close, I would say, but that was hard.

00:58:55.180 An aunt, that was hard.

00:58:57.500 I've lost people in my life, but never anybody, like, super close to me.

00:59:01.780 So I don't know what that's like.

00:59:03.000 So I'm sorry you're dealing with that.

00:59:06.500 That would be hard.

00:59:09.520 I think without going through that scenario, I think it's okay that you give yourself some time to grieve.

00:59:16.020 And reflect upon the positive memories.

00:59:21.020 We have this really interesting thing around death where we all just, like, mope and mourn and cry and complain around death.

00:59:27.080 And sure, there's a time for mourning.

00:59:28.940 But the way we do it, we might reconsider that, which is, hey, I had a really good time with this person.

00:59:35.000 You know, and I had a good life with this person.

00:59:37.300 Or we celebrated good times.

00:59:39.080 And here's the memories we made.

00:59:40.860 And here's how my life is better.

00:59:42.260 So I would give myself that time to grieve, and then I would also consider how that person would want me to live.

00:59:50.800 You know, Kip, if you passed away, I wouldn't, like, sit around and sulk over the loss.

00:59:59.280 I would be really grateful for the lessons I've learned and the time that you and I've had together.

01:00:03.900 And then I would consider, I would consider you, I actually would consider you on a daily basis.

01:00:10.000 Like, what would Kip do in this situation?

01:00:12.260 Or how would Kip respond to this?

01:00:14.840 Or how would he coach me?

01:00:16.100 If I was going through this, what would Kip tell me?

01:00:19.180 And then I would do that.

01:00:20.600 Because that helps me carry on your legacy.

01:00:23.860 And it helps me remember you.

01:00:26.620 And it honors what you brought to my life.

01:00:30.800 Yeah, totally.

01:00:31.580 That makes sense.

01:00:32.340 Well, and I think, the other thing I think to remember is, and I'm stealing this from Jocko.

01:00:37.540 You know, he had a, he did an episode on dealing with grief.

01:00:42.080 It made sense logically.

01:00:45.060 And then I think it was like six months later, I lost someone.

01:00:50.640 And then it really connected.

01:00:53.600 Where I was like, oh, yeah, he's totally right.

01:00:56.280 Yeah.

01:00:56.700 And he uses the analogy of ocean waves crashing.

01:01:00.180 And how the waves come in as sets.

01:01:04.080 And at first, those sets will be just nonstop.

01:01:08.600 And then the time between sets will slow down.

01:01:13.060 You'll be able to kind of collect yourself.

01:01:15.300 And out of nowhere, you'll just be flooded with an emotion.

01:01:19.980 Right.

01:01:20.120 I remember it was actually even before my dad passed away, I was just dealing with it.

01:01:28.040 Right.

01:01:28.260 Like, okay, he's, you know, we're probably in the final chapters of life here.

01:01:32.640 Like, there was all the evidence was proving that he was going to pass away soon.

01:01:37.520 And I was handling it, you know, emotionally and mentally fine.

01:01:42.620 And then I remember just one night, I was just like, during our family prayer, I just couldn't handle it.

01:01:50.720 All of a sudden, I was just like, I can't deal.

01:01:55.280 And I don't know what the trigger was.

01:01:58.200 I don't know what the scenario was.

01:02:00.760 And so to that, I would just say, that's just how it's going to go.

01:02:06.700 And you're going to have moments of maybe moments of despair and feeling really sad.

01:02:12.620 And then those breaks will get longer over time.

01:02:17.060 But every so often, you'll get a random wave that will crash on you and shove your face into the sand.

01:02:24.740 And I think in those moments, we're presented with the opportunity to learn and grow.

01:02:32.660 And we've talked about this recently more than normal, but embrace that it's okay.

01:02:45.600 See, you know, we've talked about always making difficulty wrong.

01:02:49.680 Like, maybe we need to normalize that a little bit.

01:02:52.700 And also realize that death is sometimes a hard thing to deal with.

01:02:57.680 And that's okay.

01:02:59.080 And this is, of course, it should be.

01:03:02.740 And this is how we remember people.

01:03:04.900 And the big question is, what are you going to learn?

01:03:07.360 And what are you going to do with it?

01:03:10.600 And how are you going to grow?

01:03:13.600 And find that evidence of growth and opportunity in your moment of suffering.

01:03:20.340 Because otherwise, your suffering is lost if you're not going to become a better person for it.

01:03:27.060 So just look for those chances.

01:03:28.700 Kip, I think this is one of the biggest problems with the rise in mental health that we see, specifically among men, is that you're not supposed to feel a certain way.

01:03:44.600 For example, sorrow.

01:03:47.600 You're not supposed to be sad.

01:03:49.640 Why?

01:03:50.760 You can be sad.

01:03:51.560 There's things to be sad about.

01:03:53.180 You lose a loved one, how could you not be sad about that?

01:03:56.180 So then if you believe that in that sadness there's something wrong with you, then not only do you feel bad about being sad, because that's the way you're feeling, but then you start to feel guilt and shame for being sad.

01:04:10.920 So by believing that there's something wrong with you or that you're broken, you're actually exacerbating the problem.

01:04:16.640 Rather than believing, hey, I'm sad right now, and it's not fun, it's not enjoyable, it's not comfortable, but it's part of the human condition.

01:04:25.200 It means I miss this person, it means I love this person, it means I had a good relationship with somebody I cared about, and I think I'm just going to be sad today.

01:04:34.040 Now there comes a point in time where we can't just wallow in our own self-pity, but it's okay to be sad.

01:04:39.840 The way we respond to it is really the question. 1.00

01:04:43.680 Like, you can't go treating everybody else like shit. 0.99

01:04:46.560 You know, every once in a while, my daughter, she'll have a bad day. 1.00

01:04:49.920 And when she has a bad day, it's externalized onto other people.

01:04:55.360 And I tell her, hey, bud, like, I know you're having a bad day.

01:05:00.420 I know what you're dealing with right now.

01:05:01.940 You told me I'd be upset too.

01:05:04.240 And that's okay.

01:05:05.160 You can be upset.

01:05:06.920 But what's not okay is treating other people poorly because you're upset.

01:05:12.000 So if you need some time to go in your room and cry or draw or you want to go on a walk with me or maybe you need to distract yourself, like, whatever we need to do, we can do that.

01:05:25.560 But you're not going to treat people poorly because you're sad.

01:05:28.980 So two things can exist.

01:05:31.780 You can be sad and we'll give you the space to deal with it.

01:05:34.940 And also, you don't get to externalize that in a negative way on other people.

01:05:39.940 So it's really just a matter of how you handle it.

01:05:42.780 I love it.

01:05:44.260 All right, sir.

01:05:45.440 Well, there you go.

01:05:47.620 Okay, man.

01:05:49.420 Well, one of the things I wanted to mention and bring up is, you know, on the concept of sadness and loss.

01:05:57.300 A lot of guys in the wake of my own divorce a couple of years ago have – are going through the same thing.

01:06:08.520 And they've identified what they're going through and they've shared with me their own personal struggles.

01:06:13.280 And when we talk about, as men, appropriate responses, we can be sad and sorrowful.

01:06:18.400 And I was for a while.

01:06:20.040 And then we can talk about appropriate responses.

01:06:22.200 And the appropriate response for me is, how do I help more men who are navigating this?

01:06:26.280 Because I'm not going to wallow in it.

01:06:28.260 I'm not going to believe my life is over.

01:06:30.400 I'm not going to not share what I've learned to help other people who might be dealing with the same set of circumstances.

01:06:36.180 And so we've created a course called Divorce Not Death.

01:06:39.780 Divorce Not Death.

01:06:40.700 And I called it that not only to be a little bit edgy with it so people would pay attention, but because I know how many people are willing and really ready to take their life in the wake of some sort of news like this, like your wife wants a divorce.

01:06:56.360 I don't want that to happen.

01:06:57.680 And what I want to do is I want to help you navigate the first 12 months of divorce.

01:07:01.300 This is not for a man who's trying to get his wife back. 0.92

01:07:04.840 This is not for a man who's 20 years into divorce.

01:07:08.060 This is not even meant for a man who is in a separation or having a difficult time with his marriage, although it will help for all of that.

01:07:15.840 It is specifically designed for dealing with all the ramifications that you have to deal with from emotional burden and pain to separating assets and finances to legal ramifications and custody schedules, everything that you need to know in the first 12 months of divorce to beginning to date again at some point when you feel ready and comfortable, all of it.

01:07:36.860 So it's not ready yet.

01:07:38.560 It will be ready in the fourth quarter of this year, so October.

01:07:43.280 But if you go to divorcenotdeath.com, you can sign up for – watch a quick video and sign up for notifications and information when that comes available.

01:07:55.400 And we're also going to be dropping some resources that lead up to that time that you can use because I don't – if you're at divorce's doorstep right now, I don't want you to have to wait three months to be able to get some information.

01:08:07.040 So we're going to start dropping some of that information ahead of time.

01:08:09.440 So, again, if you go to divorcenotdeath.com, drop your email in there, and we'll help to whatever degree we can navigate really, really difficult times.

01:08:18.600 Kip, you and I have both gone through it.

01:08:20.220 I'm fairly early into it.

01:08:21.960 You've gone through divorce years and years ago, so you're in a different place than I am.

01:08:25.940 Hardest.

01:08:26.500 But we can both attest to how painful it is.

01:08:28.900 Hardest time of my life.

01:08:30.160 Yeah.

01:08:30.580 Easily.

01:08:31.700 Yeah.

01:08:31.900 Yeah, for sure.

01:08:33.240 So that's divorcenotdeath.com.

01:08:35.240 We'll make that available to you guys.

01:08:36.600 Okay.

01:08:36.820 That's all I've got, Kip.

01:08:37.420 Well, you got –

01:08:39.620 Man, we're talking about some crazy stuff today.

01:08:42.040 Assassinations.

01:08:42.580 The world's not getting better.

01:08:43.880 You're losing your friends.

01:08:45.420 You're getting divorced. 0.58

01:08:46.620 We don't want you to kill yourself.

01:08:49.240 We've got to change a ton of these things, man.

01:08:50.720 Yeah, maybe next week.

01:08:54.160 We'll be a little lighter next week for you guys.

01:08:57.080 Sounds good.

01:08:58.880 All right, Kip.

01:08:59.920 I appreciate you guys.

01:09:01.040 I appreciate you.

01:09:02.060 Hopefully we gave you some things to consider today.

01:09:04.280 Go out there, take action, and become the man you are meant to be.

01:09:10.060 Thank you for listening to the Order of Man podcast.

01:09:13.000 You're ready to take charge of your life and be more of the man you were meant to be?

01:09:16.980 We invite you to join the order at orderofman.com.

01:09:20.160 We'll be right back now.

01:09:22.100 We'll be right back.

01:09:30.560 Whether you're a man you are.

01:09:32.460 We'll be right back.

Order of Man - July 17, 2024

Political Turmoil to Personal Resilience ｜ ASK ME ANYTHING

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