Order of Man - September 04, 2024


Politics & Masculinity, Starting a Business, Eliminating Health Excuses ｜ ASK ME ANYTHING


Episode Stats

Length

54 minutes

Words per Minute

174.92781

Word Count

9,471

Sentence Count

619

Misogynist Sentences

19

Hate Speech Sentences

15


Summary

In this episode, Ryan answers a question from Edward Teniente about leaving a 9-5 job to start a business. What is the most difficult part of leaving an eight-five job and venturing out into starting a business?


Transcript

00:00:00.000 Today, in today's day and age, you have to choose to be a man.
00:00:04.420 And that's largely true until crap hits the fan, right?
00:00:08.280 Because there's no consequences to poor decision-making in society today.
00:00:12.220 Greater men than us have built this incredible society,
00:00:15.160 this capitalistic, beautiful, thriving, abundant society.
00:00:20.440 But we have it pretty good.
00:00:21.980 But we don't realize that unless we can do the work of men,
00:00:26.480 hard work, strength, courage, boldness, fortitude, grit,
00:00:31.020 that we could very easily lose a lot of the rights that we've just taken for granted.
00:00:36.640 You're a man of action.
00:00:38.360 You live life to the fullest.
00:00:39.800 Embrace your fears and boldly chart your own path.
00:00:42.740 When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time, every time.
00:00:47.200 You are not easily deterred or defeated, rugged, resilient, strong.
00:00:52.240 This is your life.
00:00:53.340 This is who you are.
00:00:54.440 This is who you will become at the end of the day.
00:00:57.460 And after all is said and done, you can call yourself a man.
00:01:01.980 Guys, welcome to the Order of Man podcast.
00:01:04.240 My name is Ryan Michler.
00:01:05.440 I'm your host and the founder of this movement.
00:01:08.080 And of course, this podcast as well.
00:01:10.640 This is your Ask Me Anything.
00:01:12.220 We're going to field questions from today, specifically the Facebook group.
00:01:16.760 Typically, I have a co-host, Mr. Kip Sorensen.
00:01:19.180 He is away on vacation, spending time with his family.
00:01:23.640 So we'll allow it.
00:01:24.760 We'll allow him to do that as if it's my choice.
00:01:28.100 But for better or worse, you're riding solo with me today.
00:01:31.520 And I'm going to attempt to answer these questions.
00:01:33.740 We've got some really, really good questions.
00:01:35.740 I'm going to attempt to answer these as best I can and hopefully give you some things to consider, some points to ponder on.
00:01:43.500 So I'm not going to waste a whole lot of time today getting into it.
00:01:46.560 These ones all come from our Facebook group, which can be found at facebook.com slash groups slash order of man.
00:01:53.940 I'd encourage you to join over there.
00:01:55.360 We've got 74,000 people, all men working together to improve themselves, to bounce ideas off of each other, to get some insight about struggles they may be dealing with.
00:02:06.840 And it's a really great resource.
00:02:08.560 It's obviously free because it's in the Facebook system, but we'd love you to join.
00:02:13.580 Again, facebook.com slash groups slash order of man.
00:02:17.720 So the first question today comes from Edward Teniente, I think is how you pronounce that.
00:02:22.320 You're going to see I'm just as bad as Kip when it comes to pronouncing names.
00:02:26.240 He says this, what is the most difficult part of leaving an eight to five job and venturing out into beginning a business that may grant you the financial freedom to do as you please and be present for your family daily?
00:02:38.560 Well, it's actually been a long time since I have been in an eight to five job.
00:02:44.520 I was thinking about it.
00:02:46.080 There's really only one that I can think of that had that typical eight to five, nine to five type schedule, and that was doing some landscaping right out of high school.
00:02:54.880 Outside of that, most of it's been shift work, sales work.
00:02:59.020 I worked in retail for a lot of years.
00:03:01.380 I did the financial planning practice, and obviously I do this now.
00:03:04.320 So it's not your typical eight to five, and it's been a very long time.
00:03:07.500 But that said, I have had consistent work where it's you have a schedule, and I think that's what Edward is probably talking about here is that you have a schedule, you have a routine, you know what your schedule is, you go in for a set period of time.
00:03:22.020 And then usually when you get home, you have some opportunity if you can to completely check out and focus on your family versus being in a business, something like this, where I've got a lot of flexibility and freedom with my time and my schedule.
00:03:34.000 And I can schedule something, for example, this morning, if I want to, without having to ask anybody for permission, but I might have to make that up on the tail end.
00:03:42.560 So, for example, last night was my daughter's birthday yesterday.
00:03:46.840 I decided that I wanted to take her to dinner, so I did.
00:03:49.560 We went out to dinner.
00:03:50.860 I came home, and I had to do a little bit of work to catch up for the day later that evening, 9, 10 o'clock at night.
00:03:57.060 So, it's not an 8 to 5, but I'm working just as many, if not more hours than when I was working in an 8 to 5.
00:04:05.440 So, I think one common misconception is that we'll have all the freedom and flexibility in the world.
00:04:10.220 You'll have the flexibility, but if you want to be a success, then you can't just think that, hey, if I do this, then everything is going to be wonderful, and I don't need to worry about my schedule or what I'm doing.
00:04:21.200 No, you need to be hypervigilant, and that's the biggest thing to answer your question.
00:04:24.920 Edward, that was a struggle for me, and I'm sure it was a struggle for a lot of people.
00:04:30.440 When you leave a set job, you're your own boss now.
00:04:35.700 So, when you go into an employer's work, you know exactly what you're going to be doing.
00:04:41.080 You know exactly what your duties are.
00:04:43.100 You don't have to do everything.
00:04:44.420 You focus typically on your very specific, narrowed work, and then you get to check out.
00:04:51.120 But as a business owner, first and foremost, you're everything.
00:04:55.860 You're now the business department, the new development, the R&D department, the accounting department, the janitor department, the banking department.
00:05:05.460 You're everything.
00:05:06.840 Payroll, like you've got to do all of it.
00:05:09.880 And that can be a real challenge if you're not ready to step out onto your own because you think that, hey, I'm pretty good at doing this thing,
00:05:16.920 so I'll automatically be good at being a business owner.
00:05:20.340 If you've ever read the book E-Myth, you know that's a myth.
00:05:24.500 Just because you're good at the thing, whether it's plumbing or building or accounting or website development or marketing strategies,
00:05:32.280 doesn't mean that you're going to be good at everything else that goes into a business.
00:05:37.420 And that was the most challenging thing for me is the learning curve.
00:05:40.060 I worked with a financial planning practice.
00:05:43.320 I started, gosh, almost 20 years ago now with that practice.
00:05:49.080 And I remember there came a point after working with them for about five years where I thought I need to go out on my own.
00:05:57.020 But the beauty of that was I was fortunately smart enough and had enough advisors in my corner that said,
00:06:03.060 hey, here's the things that you need to worry about when you go out on your own.
00:06:06.100 And so I spent about eight months to a year working with this other firm,
00:06:10.920 knowing that I was going to be leaving as I developed and learned the other side of the businesses besides just sales.
00:06:17.720 So if I were you and I'm thinking about going out into business on my own,
00:06:22.720 then don't be naive to the idea that just because you're good at whatever it is you do,
00:06:27.560 that you're going to be a good business owner.
00:06:29.560 Spend a lot of time trying to figure out what else do I need to learn?
00:06:33.200 What information do I need to have?
00:06:34.920 What gaps do I have as a business owner?
00:06:37.420 And then start working on filling those gaps now so that when you transition in six months or eight months or 12 months or in two years,
00:06:44.800 you'll have a significantly easier time than just cutting off all ties and jumping in headfirst.
00:06:50.600 And that's what a lot of Instagram type people will tell you.
00:06:52.980 Just burn the bridges and burn the boats and go all in.
00:06:57.560 That's not what I did.
00:06:59.000 And it's not what a lot of successful people I know did.
00:07:01.720 They built their business while they were doing something else to hedge against some of the potential risk.
00:07:09.420 So I hope that helps.
00:07:11.100 This one comes from George Zhang, I guess is how you say it.
00:07:14.940 Again, you're going to hear me butcher these things.
00:07:16.560 X-I-O-N-G Zhang, maybe?
00:07:18.800 Zhang?
00:07:19.360 I'm not sure.
00:07:20.260 And I apologize about that, George.
00:07:22.480 But he says this.
00:07:23.700 Oh, it's a similar question.
00:07:25.420 He says, what are some of the struggles you faced when you started your business and how did you overcome them?
00:07:32.300 Sometimes I feel unsure if I ever get the business moving along.
00:07:37.040 I wonder if I'm just wasting my time.
00:07:39.440 I just know I need financial sovereignty.
00:07:42.460 Well, first and foremost, let's not assume that just because you start your own business, you're going to have financial sovereignty.
00:07:48.820 You might, and a lot of very wealthy people either built their wealth in business and or real estate.
00:07:57.540 So the opportunity is definitely there.
00:07:59.940 And the upward mobility for financial freedom and abundance, I think, exists to a greater capacity as an entrepreneur than it does an employee.
00:08:09.240 But that's not to say you can't make great money as an employee and there might not be reasons why you would want to be an employee over being an entrepreneur.
00:08:16.880 But you've already made that decision.
00:08:18.740 The biggest thing, the biggest hurdle, I think, for any business owner is marketing.
00:08:25.520 If you don't have, you could have the best widget or gizmo or gadget in the world, ever invented, ever created, the newest technology.
00:08:32.420 Just this cutting edge, beautiful product or service.
00:08:39.180 But if nobody knows about it, then it really doesn't matter how wonderful the product is.
00:08:46.480 So I think marketing is the oxygen in the lungs of the business or the blood pumping through the veins, whichever analogy you want to use.
00:08:55.440 You have to have a steady flow of prospects and clients through marketing, through branding, through social media development.
00:09:03.440 For me, one of the biggest things that I focus on is learning how to tell good stories, taking examples from my daily life and building them into an applicable story that has a lesson that people can use and gain some inspiration or motivation from or education or literacy from.
00:09:22.420 That, to me, that, to me, is a huge component of what I do, and it's going to be a very important part of what you do.
00:09:29.720 Can you tell a good story?
00:09:31.140 Can you tell your business's story?
00:09:33.040 Can you craft a message that resonates with people?
00:09:36.080 If your message currently is not resonating with people, why?
00:09:39.180 What can you do about it?
00:09:40.120 What can you tweak and adjust and change?
00:09:42.300 And how can you really land on the ears of your potential customers?
00:09:47.240 That's always the biggest struggle for most businesses.
00:09:49.940 You can figure out the tax stuff.
00:09:52.880 You can figure out the accounting stuff.
00:09:54.940 And those are good problems to have.
00:09:56.380 If you're trying to deal with taxes and accounting, it means you have revenue.
00:09:59.640 So you can deal with all of that.
00:10:01.740 You can learn how to hire employees.
00:10:04.040 You can learn HR.
00:10:05.940 You can hire HR departments.
00:10:09.080 You know the business well enough where you can come up with new ideas and new strategies for the application of your product or service.
00:10:19.040 All of that stuff, I'm not going to say it's easy, but it's not as difficult as getting a new customer.
00:10:25.520 So spend a lot of time and energy focusing on how do you market, how do you brand, how do you use social media, how to connect with people, how to introduce people, how to be a networker.
00:10:35.880 Those things, for me, are the most important part of the business and something that I think and a lot of people would agree are very, very challenging when it comes to growing a business.
00:10:46.760 All right, let's go next to Will Luna.
00:10:49.760 So these comments, I had made this post a couple of weeks ago and we got so many questions I wasn't able to get to them all.
00:10:55.500 But his question is how to get out of the roommate phase with my wife.
00:11:00.380 Now, I do want to say that I did a podcast, I think it was maybe two weeks ago, August 23rd.
00:11:11.660 So almost two weeks ago and it's titled How a Man Avoids the Friend Zone.
00:11:17.000 So if you're listening to this on Spotify or Apple Podcasts, go back, listen to the Friday Field Notes that came out on August 23rd, How a Man Avoids the Friend Zone.
00:11:29.140 And I get into some very key tactics, effective tactics and strategies that you can use to get yourself out of the friend zone, back into an intimate stage with your wife.
00:11:40.540 Or maybe you're not married and you have a romantic interest and you want to progress into a romantic interest as opposed to just being friends.
00:11:49.220 I think I've got some very practical, pragmatic advice that will help you achieve what you want to achieve and can go into more depth than what I can do here on an Ask Me Anything.
00:11:58.440 So again, that's August 23rd, How a Man Avoids the Friend Zone.
00:12:03.140 And then make sure you're subscribed to the podcast wherever you listen so that each and every week when these come out, you never miss any of those.
00:12:11.000 But I hope I answered the question in that podcast.
00:12:15.160 Next, we have one from Thomas Hone.
00:12:18.080 He says, how to stay strong and keep up with exercise when dealing with ongoing joint pains.
00:12:25.160 I don't want to jump to conclusions here, but sometimes when I hear questions like these, I can't help but think that this is nothing more than an excuse.
00:12:35.860 And I'm not discounting how you're feeling.
00:12:37.980 I don't know the severity of the joint pains.
00:12:40.620 I don't know what medical conditions you're dealing with.
00:12:42.860 I have no idea.
00:12:44.600 But when I hear questions like this, I can't help but think that maybe there's some excuse making about the joint pain.
00:12:51.540 And I appreciate you asking the question because it means that you are interested in still developing strength and being fit, although you might be restricted from certain movements.
00:13:02.340 The thing that we need to realize is that strength training, which is what I would call lifting heavy weights to build muscle, is not the only way to be fit.
00:13:12.940 Now, I think it's something that every man should do.
00:13:15.060 You know, you walk down the street and you see this skinny, scrawny little beanpole.
00:13:19.180 You can't help but think that's not a masculine guy.
00:13:23.180 On the other hand, you see a guy who's big and full and has muscle development and clearly, you know, can hold his own.
00:13:31.380 That's somebody that we would just generally consider manly or masculine.
00:13:34.620 Now, that doesn't paint the entire picture, right?
00:13:36.980 Because that skinny, scrawny guy might be a killer at jujitsu.
00:13:40.200 You know, the big fat meathead, he might be unable to move and lack any mobility to do anything effective in his life.
00:13:48.880 So, it doesn't paint the entire picture.
00:13:50.580 But generally speaking, we can equate muscle mass to being manly and masculine, generally.
00:13:58.260 So, that's important.
00:14:00.780 But it's not the only way.
00:14:02.660 When I got injured, I was doing a lot of jujitsu.
00:14:04.800 And when I got injured, I ruptured my pectoral muscle, complete rupture, 100% pulled away from the bone.
00:14:12.620 I spent about three months between surgery and recovery where I really couldn't do much with my upper body.
00:14:18.900 I certainly couldn't train jujitsu.
00:14:21.080 But I went.
00:14:22.480 All of my scheduled classes, I continued to go to jujitsu.
00:14:25.340 I would sit in the corner and I would do box step-ups or sit-ups, not really any planking or push-ups or anything like that, just because I couldn't.
00:14:37.000 I would do one-arm incline bench press with dumbbells.
00:14:41.800 Whatever I could do, I would do.
00:14:43.840 And then when the guys would train, I'd watch them and evaluate.
00:14:46.980 And then after, when they did instruction, I would sit with all the guys and I would listen to the instruction, even though I couldn't actually do it.
00:14:53.740 But I've got another friend who's dealing with some other similar health conditions, injuries mostly, and everything has to be low impact.
00:15:04.240 Well, he's got a pool.
00:15:05.800 So he can go to the pool and he can stretch and he can move and he can swim.
00:15:10.260 It's very low impact.
00:15:12.400 Maybe there's a specific part of your body that you can't exercise.
00:15:15.760 Maybe you have some knee or hip problems.
00:15:18.320 Okay, what's to keep you from doing upper body work?
00:15:21.120 Or what's to keep you from doing the elliptical machine or potentially even bike riding?
00:15:27.040 Something with low impact.
00:15:28.620 The point that I'm making here is, Thomas, you need to get creative.
00:15:32.460 And if you're using this as an excuse, and I'm not saying you are, but if you are, then you need to drop the excuse.
00:15:38.600 There's an infinite number of ways to stay fit and healthy and active and productive and even build muscle in spite of medical conditions that you might be dealing with.
00:15:46.980 And the only exception to that would be you're in a coma where you literally cannot get out of bed and you literally cannot move your body at all in any capacity or any degree.
00:15:58.460 Even people in wheelchairs can exercise, can move if they have the desire to do it.
00:16:04.920 And if they're willing to push aside the excuses and get to work in spite of what they're dealing with.
00:16:12.040 Don't use it as an excuse.
00:16:13.640 I don't think you are because you wouldn't be asking the question.
00:16:16.060 But look for creative ways to stay fit, stay healthy, stay motivated, even if it isn't ideal for you.
00:16:23.140 And then you can work on recovery.
00:16:24.640 You can work on nutrition.
00:16:25.920 You can work on mobility.
00:16:27.340 You can work on the things that your doctor prescribes for you in order to fix the health issues so that you can get back on the path that you want to be on.
00:16:34.940 But it does not give us an excuse to stop.
00:16:37.100 It just means we might need to take a different path for the time being.
00:16:42.100 All right, here's one that I think might be a bit controversial.
00:16:46.680 And while I just get into it, this one comes from Leonard Galgay.
00:16:51.700 He says, how is it that sexuality is not a factor in learning to do better in our roles of husband, father, brother, son, employee, et cetera?
00:17:00.840 Well, I mean, I asked for some clarification on this because it was worded in a way I didn't quite understand.
00:17:07.300 He said, how is it that sexuality is not a factor?
00:17:10.300 And through clarification, what he's saying is he does not believe that sexuality should be a factor when it comes to doing better in our roles as husband, father, brother, son, employee.
00:17:22.740 And that I can agree with.
00:17:24.580 If you're homosexual, bisexual, I still think you have an obligation, responsibility to improve yourself as a man and just a human being in general.
00:17:34.380 And so just because you happen to like men doesn't give you a pass not to improve yourself as a man.
00:17:43.600 I don't really know if that's an issue.
00:17:48.520 I do think there's this interesting phenomenon that I would call, and I've heard other people call, just gay culture, which is effeminate and it's over-sexualized.
00:17:57.680 And you can tell, you know, a man who comes out of the closet, for example, all of a sudden goes from talking like a normal human being to this very cartoonish character type persona that he thinks all homosexuals have.
00:18:12.560 I don't understand how coming out of the closet and letting people know that you're a homosexual automatically changes your voice, but it seems to.
00:18:22.920 So this is part of the gay culture.
00:18:26.480 It's flamboyant.
00:18:27.380 It's over-sexualized.
00:18:29.160 It's very effeminate.
00:18:30.840 It's almost a mockery in some cases to the extreme of what it actually means to be feminine because it's a caricature of what, I mean, a great example of that, and this is not homosexual, this is transgender, is this man by the name of Dylan Mulvaney.
00:18:46.920 He pretends that he's a 15-year-old schoolgirl, you know, and so that's a problem.
00:18:53.260 He's making a mockery of what it means to be a young woman, and I think that's a problem.
00:18:59.120 I don't agree with that.
00:19:00.620 I also don't agree with gay culture.
00:19:03.520 You can like men and not be this flamboyant, overly sexualized femboy.
00:19:10.280 And I don't understand why that seems to permeate the culture, but it does.
00:19:17.680 So even as a gay man, yeah, you have a responsibility and an obligation to improve yourself as a human being.
00:19:24.860 Now, that said, I'm not going to tell you that you're going to be less of a man necessarily or that you're not a man at all if you happen to like men or men and women, but I think there's some things that are missing.
00:19:36.120 You know, Leonard says, for example, in his first comment, he says, how is it that sexuality is not a factor in learning to do better in our roles as husband, father, brother, son, employee, et cetera?
00:19:46.140 Well, let's extrapolate one of those roles, father.
00:19:50.060 A gay man cannot be a father.
00:19:52.480 He can be a father figure, right, through adoption or other methods in vitro and these other types of methods and surrogacy and these types of methods for, you know, having a child with you in your home, but you're not a biological father.
00:20:09.880 So how do you bridge that gap?
00:20:12.420 Well, you just become a good father figure.
00:20:14.380 But yeah, I think if the other side of it, too, is that there is something to be said for the very real and distinct differences between the way men generally show up and the way women generally show up.
00:20:27.440 And when a man partners with a woman, he is meeting not only a need and a desire, physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual, but he's actually making himself better because a woman is going to round out a man with skills and perspectives and ideas that men just don't have on their own and vice versa, by the way.
00:20:50.360 You know, sometimes you'll hear people complain that, oh, women, we don't understand women, and women will say, we don't understand men, and we don't need each other.
00:20:59.360 You're not supposed to understand each other.
00:21:02.220 If you understood each other, you wouldn't have any need for each other.
00:21:05.200 It's the fact that you don't understand or you don't see their perspective or you don't always agree with the way they view the world that makes it something that's actually a valuable union.
00:21:16.180 So I'm not going to sit here and tell you that you can't be a man if you're gay.
00:21:20.940 But there are some things that you don't have in your life.
00:21:25.440 The love of a good woman, the ability to father biological children, and those bring tremendous value and worth.
00:21:35.380 And look, I'm not here to tell you that it's a choice or it's not a choice or it's like, I don't know.
00:21:41.540 But what I do think is that certain men are born with a predisposition to be gay.
00:21:49.480 And then you have a decision to make as to whether or not you want to act upon that predisposition to be attracted to men.
00:21:57.860 That isn't my decision to make.
00:22:01.240 I'm not going to worry about who you're attracted to, but you have to decide.
00:22:08.380 And we've had guys in our Facebook group who are attracted to men who aren't interested in living that lifestyle.
00:22:15.200 And so we can talk about how you might resist what they would call a temptation.
00:22:21.680 And we have other men who have no problem with that.
00:22:24.900 But again, that's not my decision to make.
00:22:26.580 But ultimately, whether you're gay or straight or bi or whatever, you do have a responsibility and obligation to make yourself better, not only for yourself, but for people who are relying on you.
00:22:36.440 And that's what I think, take it or leave it, or let me know if I'm wrong, which I'm sure you will.
00:22:44.280 Zachary Moore says, how do you have a healthy level of pride in your accomplishments and not go down playing them with, oh, anyone can do it with hard work or I just got lucky?
00:22:55.820 Yeah, this is a really good question.
00:22:58.340 You know, it's hard at times for guys to accept praise.
00:23:01.900 And I think that comes from this idea that we're supposed to be completely humble, and we should be humble.
00:23:10.840 But accepting warranted praise is not at odds with being humble.
00:23:18.560 If you did a good job at something and somebody says, good job, you can accept the compliment without letting it go to your head.
00:23:27.600 Now, it could go to your head, or you could just decide, thank you, I worked hard.
00:23:31.800 I appreciate that.
00:23:32.840 And that's the first step in learning how to accept compliments with grace.
00:23:38.900 And it's important that you do, because a compliment is a gift.
00:23:44.140 So let's say it's your birthday, and you invited me to come spend some time with you or your family member, and I bring a gift to you.
00:23:53.320 And it's all packaged up, and it's beautiful, and it looks nice, and you open it up, and you get this present, and you say, ah, I don't want this.
00:24:01.880 This is not good enough for me.
00:24:03.620 You would never do that.
00:24:04.980 What you would do is say, even if you didn't like it, even if you didn't want it, you would say, oh, thank you.
00:24:11.660 That was thoughtful.
00:24:12.420 I appreciate that.
00:24:13.700 That's what you would do with a gift that you didn't want or didn't feel like you deserved.
00:24:18.040 You wouldn't throw it back and say, I don't want this.
00:24:19.780 Your gift is not good with me.
00:24:20.840 It's not good enough.
00:24:22.120 You would just say thank you.
00:24:24.000 It's the same thing with a compliment.
00:24:25.920 If somebody acknowledges something that you did, who are you to deny that person giving you a gift and making them feel good about paying you a compliment?
00:24:35.240 And this is something that I have to be very conscious of is we ought to be validating how other people feel.
00:24:41.820 We don't have to validate whether they're right or wrong.
00:24:43.620 We can discuss that.
00:24:44.880 But the way people feel is the way they feel, and you can validate that and still disagree with them, by the way.
00:24:50.120 So if a person says to you, hey, Zachary, man, you knocked it out of the park with that project, you can't disagree with them.
00:25:01.100 That's their perspective.
00:25:03.360 You're going to debate with them, and a debate would be like, oh, no, I just got lucky.
00:25:07.240 No, it's not a big, that's not how they saw it.
00:25:10.320 The way they saw it is that you did something noteworthy, something worthy of praise.
00:25:15.840 So just do this.
00:25:17.540 Oh, thank you.
00:25:18.360 I appreciate that.
00:25:21.180 That means a lot to me.
00:25:22.960 Oh, man, you saw that?
00:25:23.900 Thank you.
00:25:24.400 That's cool.
00:25:26.600 Or I appreciate your help on the project.
00:25:28.460 I couldn't have done it without you.
00:25:30.380 But, man, we got this done, and we knocked it out of the park.
00:25:33.100 Just accept.
00:25:34.320 Just say thank you.
00:25:35.360 Like, I wish more people could learn to say thank you.
00:25:39.100 You know, if you tell your wife, hey, hon, you look great today.
00:25:42.020 She doesn't need to say, nah, I don't feel good.
00:25:45.620 I don't look good.
00:25:46.260 No, just thank you.
00:25:47.640 Oh, thank you.
00:25:49.300 It's not a hard thing to say.
00:25:51.400 We just get in our way.
00:25:52.720 And I think it has to do with this false sense of humility that we tend to equate with not accepting praise or not acknowledging our strengths.
00:26:02.380 We can acknowledge our strengths.
00:26:04.640 We can acknowledge when we've done well.
00:26:06.400 In fact, we should because then we can actually replicate what we created.
00:26:10.200 And by the way, we don't make these decisions in a vacuum.
00:26:12.300 If I do really well at work, I'm going to impact my employees, my employer, my community, my clients, all in a very positive way.
00:26:21.620 A lot of people, and I think this might be more of a leftist ideology, especially as it pertains to capitalism, that somehow if I do well, it comes at the expense of other people.
00:26:31.600 And unless we're in a zero-sum game like a fight, like an MMA fight or something like that, this is not a zero-sum game.
00:26:39.180 When I do well, it lifts other people up as long as I'm doing it legally, morally, and ethically.
00:26:44.680 So let's get past the, oh, I don't, and a lot of times it's just false humility, right?
00:26:51.720 You're just doing it as a virtue signaling thing, like, oh, me, no, shucks, not me, oh, no, I didn't do anything.
00:26:59.640 Just be honest, be sincere.
00:27:01.560 Thank you for noticing.
00:27:02.540 I appreciate that.
00:27:03.380 That means a lot.
00:27:04.120 That was kind.
00:27:04.860 Thank you for the nice words.
00:27:06.500 Very easy to do.
00:27:07.880 And it will allow you to be more gracious and accepting of the gifts that people give to you.
00:27:12.120 Let's go to, well, this one's from Noah.
00:27:17.340 I don't think he has a question, but there was a point that he made in here that I wanted to address.
00:27:21.180 He says, this is not a question, more of a statement.
00:27:24.060 I just typed out three paragraphs of a question to realize I'm being an absolute child about the situation,
00:27:31.040 a situation I'm in, and need to be grateful for the things that just got handed to my girlfriend and I.
00:27:37.820 Thanks for your constant insight and wisdom.
00:27:39.280 Thank you for bringing incredible people on your podcast to share their wisdom.
00:27:42.800 It has truly changed my life.
00:27:44.320 And here's a moment where I can exercise the answer to the previous question of just being grateful and gracious and saying thank you for the compliment.
00:27:53.480 I'm glad to know that the work that we're doing is impacting you in a positive way.
00:27:57.640 That's why we do it.
00:27:58.500 And I'm glad to know that the people that come on the podcast, you gain value from, and I'm honored to do this work.
00:28:04.260 Now, the point that I wanted to make on this is that sometimes when we write these things out or we start to reflect on them or we start to vocalize the concerns and problems we have or even just share it with a friend, we can work it out ourselves.
00:28:19.660 We begin to come up with the solutions to our own problems.
00:28:25.040 And that's what I'll tell a lot of guys in the Facebook group when they ask questions about, I have two business opportunities, which one should I do?
00:28:32.160 I have no idea.
00:28:33.840 I have no idea.
00:28:35.160 I don't know your circumstances.
00:28:36.680 I don't know your financial situation.
00:28:38.480 I don't know your dreams and hopes and desires.
00:28:40.740 It is not my place to say choose option A.
00:28:43.780 I have no idea.
00:28:46.900 It's my place to say, what do you think you should do?
00:28:51.900 Or here's a consideration based on a similar circumstance that I had in the past.
00:28:58.000 Or what are you nervous about?
00:28:59.980 What are the pros and cons of each?
00:29:01.760 My goal, my job is to help people come up with solutions to their own problems.
00:29:06.120 And you'd be amazed how many times when I say, well, what do you think you should do?
00:29:10.320 How many guys will come back and say, well, if he knew what to do, he wouldn't be asking the question.
00:29:15.640 That isn't true.
00:29:18.160 How many times have you had an issue or a struggle or a challenge in life and you're thinking to yourself, ah, man, I really think I should do option A.
00:29:26.500 But I'm going to reach out and see if I can get some other insight or perspective.
00:29:32.140 All the time.
00:29:32.960 In fact, most of the time, if you're a normal man, a normal human being, when you're presented with an idea, of course, you move right into solution mode.
00:29:45.060 Now, it might not be accurate.
00:29:46.860 It might not be the best solution.
00:29:48.780 But of course, you always have an idea of what you think you should do.
00:29:51.720 So then what we can do is we can help you flesh out those ideas by asking you good and poignant questions.
00:29:59.760 By having you dig a little deeper than maybe you did and not hit that surface level, but get down really into the real issues, into the pros and cons and struggles and future based on each of these options.
00:30:10.760 So I like that Noah solved some of his own problems here.
00:30:15.540 I'm not really sure what they are, but it sounds like maybe a difficult situation with his girlfriend, but he's wanting to be grateful for it and work through it.
00:30:23.740 And so, Noah, if you have additional questions or insight, I'd be happy to help you with that.
00:30:27.700 I can't give you the answer, but I might give you some questions or some considerations.
00:30:33.960 This one is, let me see here.
00:30:38.420 What would be an approach to make, let's see, what would be an approach to make understand beyond political frontiers that manliness is not negotiable?
00:30:50.600 Well, I think, unfortunately, people need to realize that, and they will realize through either voluntary decisions or through hardship, that stepping up into manliness and masculinity is not something that you should negotiate with.
00:31:06.660 A friend of mine, his name is Jack Donovan.
00:31:12.140 He says that today, in today's day and age, you have to choose to be a man.
00:31:18.520 And that's largely true until crap hits the fan, right?
00:31:24.840 Because there's no consequences to poor decision-making in society today.
00:31:28.660 We've built this, I shouldn't say we,
00:31:30.380 greater men than us have built this incredible society, this capitalistic, beautiful, thriving, abundant society.
00:31:40.060 And that's not to dismiss some of the issues and challenges that we have, and we can discuss those, and we always do.
00:31:44.140 But we have it pretty good relative to every other culture throughout the rest of human history,
00:31:51.160 including much of the cultures today outside of the U.S.
00:31:55.880 We have it pretty good.
00:31:59.520 But we don't realize that unless we can do the work of men, hard work, strength, courage, boldness, fortitude, grit,
00:32:09.400 that we could very easily lose a lot of the rights that we've just taken for granted,
00:32:15.000 that we didn't establish or defend ourselves.
00:32:18.880 We're just a beneficiary of it.
00:32:20.700 But you'll notice, when things go south, whether it's an active shooter situation,
00:32:26.220 a natural disaster, or some other form of emergency,
00:32:30.860 everybody looks to the most capable and qualified man.
00:32:35.840 They don't look to the boy, the eight-year-old boy.
00:32:39.680 They don't look to the guy who's miserable, fat, out of shape, broke, and kind of weak.
00:32:44.420 They look to the quintessential man, the one who's a leader, the one who's bold, the one who's assertive,
00:32:52.340 maybe even takes those traits to the extreme, maybe takes them too far at times.
00:32:58.360 They're still looking to that person because they recognize that person, at a minimum, is a man,
00:33:04.420 and he will do what he can do to get himself and other people into safety.
00:33:09.220 So, you can choose to be a man today, in light of not having to be,
00:33:18.200 and then prepare yourself for what may come,
00:33:21.720 or you can choose not to do that,
00:33:25.180 and then be forced and compelled and obligated to it in times of struggle and difficulty.
00:33:32.640 And if you choose the latter, you're so far behind the curve
00:33:36.600 that depending on the situation, you may get yourself killed or hurt or other people killed or hurt.
00:33:44.380 So, I don't believe it's negotiable.
00:33:47.020 And I believe that every single day, we need to wake up and work on becoming better men.
00:33:53.280 Now, one of the things that was interesting, and this is going to be a little polarizing here.
00:33:58.480 This one comes from Sasha Flammersberger, by the way, and he says this as a follow-up.
00:34:03.820 I said, which frontiers are you referring to?
00:34:06.120 I'd be happy to address these questions, but I want more specifics.
00:34:08.660 And he says this,
00:34:10.020 The importance of masculine virtue seems to decrease significantly from the conservative end of the spectrum,
00:34:15.760 the political spectrum, towards the left or liberal end.
00:34:19.120 How can we make clear to the more left-oriented people
00:34:22.140 that manly virtues are core values in themselves that should not be relinquished easily?
00:34:27.860 Well, look, here's the reality.
00:34:28.900 Those people who don't believe that manliness and masculinity are virtuous
00:34:33.560 are the ones who turn to and are completely pathetic and helpless
00:34:37.900 turn to those who do possess manliness and masculinity in times of turmoil and stress.
00:34:45.440 Right?
00:34:45.940 Something goes wrong at work, you look to the man.
00:34:48.240 Something goes wrong in the community, you look to the man.
00:34:50.180 Something goes wrong as a natural disaster, they look to the man.
00:34:52.740 Something goes wrong with, you know, an active shooter situation or violent encounter,
00:34:56.720 they look to the man.
00:34:57.600 The people who complain about this stuff, they look to the men just as fast,
00:35:02.120 if not more so, because they don't have what it takes to keep themselves safe and protected
00:35:07.480 and do that same thing for other people.
00:35:11.140 So they have a choice.
00:35:14.000 See, this is the thing.
00:35:15.020 Everybody has a choice.
00:35:17.120 And it's not my job to choose for other people.
00:35:20.080 It's just to highlight what I think is a good way to live.
00:35:24.740 Now, I'm not going to say I have 100% figured out.
00:35:26.500 I don't, I have my own problems that I deal with.
00:35:29.980 But it's important that you allow people to make decisions.
00:35:34.240 And so people who are more left-leaning, that maybe don't possess or even believe
00:35:39.540 that some of these manly characteristics are virtuous and noble and righteous and good,
00:35:43.820 what do you want me to tell them?
00:35:47.300 There's nothing you can tell them until they see a good man in action.
00:35:51.160 Somebody who's bold and capable, but also caring and empathetic and offers and affords grace.
00:36:01.620 The guy who can do it with class.
00:36:04.020 I don't think it's enough to just do good work or to get the job done
00:36:09.120 without having this other softer side of things, which is do it right.
00:36:14.500 Include other people.
00:36:17.040 Take other people's thoughts into consideration.
00:36:20.100 Those are the kind of people that others will follow.
00:36:22.720 Now, it is interesting as we're talking about politics, because I brought this up
00:36:25.920 a couple of weeks ago, and I made a post.
00:36:29.600 It was very controversial.
00:36:30.420 And it was eight masculine political positions.
00:36:33.460 And number one is peace is only possible through strength.
00:36:36.460 National sovereignty is greater than everyone is welcome.
00:36:39.940 Taxation is legalized theft.
00:36:42.080 Second Amendment is mandatory.
00:36:43.740 The family unit is the backbone of America.
00:36:45.680 Free markets are the economic answer.
00:36:47.540 The rule of law must be maintained.
00:36:49.180 And equity is righteous, but equality is not.
00:36:55.380 Most people agreed with most of those points.
00:36:57.980 The only issue, surprisingly, that a lot of people took issue with
00:37:00.840 was that taxation is legalized theft.
00:37:03.440 I mean, what else would you call it?
00:37:05.720 You're compelled to give the government your hard-earned money
00:37:10.780 under threat of imprisonment or fines or loss of other property.
00:37:19.380 What else would you call it?
00:37:20.960 Now, I'm not saying that we shouldn't have taxation.
00:37:24.240 I certainly can see why a small, very small, marginal percent of our,
00:37:32.940 whether it's state, federal income tax or sales tax,
00:37:36.900 which is what I lean more towards,
00:37:38.480 might be necessary to run a thriving society.
00:37:41.600 It's still theft.
00:37:43.080 Like, I'm still compelled to give up my possession under threat.
00:37:48.740 I don't know what else you would define it as,
00:37:51.500 but that's beside the point.
00:37:52.460 The reason I bring these up is because these are very masculine political positions.
00:37:56.740 And the issue that a lot of people took issue with
00:38:00.100 was the fact that I called them masculine positions.
00:38:02.260 Well, they are.
00:38:04.720 Because I look at everything that I do
00:38:07.700 through the lens of protecting, providing, and presiding for my people.
00:38:13.020 If you don't agree with that, that's fine.
00:38:17.360 But I'm giving you an opinion that based on our God-given duty
00:38:23.800 and responsibility to protect, provide, and preside,
00:38:26.860 that these are the masculine political positions that align perfectly with that.
00:38:30.640 So, for example, peace is only possible through strength.
00:38:33.800 Of course.
00:38:34.880 Of course, as men, if you're going to be a protector, you have to be strong.
00:38:37.840 I mean, the alternative is being weak and cowardly and pathetic
00:38:41.700 and thinking that everybody just needs a hug
00:38:43.280 and you all want to sing kumbaya around the global campfire
00:38:46.440 while they run roughshod over you and everybody else
00:38:48.660 and the things that are important to you.
00:38:51.000 Are you kidding?
00:38:53.240 But there's a lot of people, and this is more of a leftist position,
00:38:56.120 that the reason there's so much turmoil and strife throughout the world
00:39:01.240 is because, you know, they just need to be understood.
00:39:03.600 No, they don't.
00:39:04.380 They don't even want to be understood.
00:39:06.380 There's evil that exists in the world,
00:39:08.420 and we need to understand that it exists
00:39:10.200 so we can deal with it appropriately.
00:39:12.240 And just because you're strong
00:39:13.440 doesn't mean that you are going to go run over everybody against their will.
00:39:17.460 It just means you can.
00:39:21.180 And that's important.
00:39:23.240 Some of the strongest, most capable physical men I know
00:39:26.900 are also some of the most unassuming, kind, gentle souls you'll ever meet.
00:39:32.700 But they can kill you.
00:39:35.800 Literally, they can kill you.
00:39:37.620 However they want, at any moment.
00:39:41.280 So, it's peaceful because you're strong.
00:39:45.860 National sovereignty is greater than everyone is welcome.
00:39:48.540 Of course.
00:39:50.040 As the patriarch of your home, you don't open your doors and windows
00:39:53.000 and just let random strangers into your house.
00:39:55.980 No, it's protected.
00:39:58.120 It's walled off.
00:39:59.560 You vet the people that come into your house, right?
00:40:01.700 They're friends and family members, people you trust, people you respect.
00:40:06.200 You don't bring filth into your home.
00:40:09.940 You protect it because you're the father.
00:40:13.000 You're the patriarch.
00:40:13.820 You're the dad, the husband.
00:40:15.480 You're the leader of the household.
00:40:17.660 Second Amendment protection, family unit, the backbone of society.
00:40:21.600 Of course, that's a masculine position.
00:40:24.320 We're called to lead our families.
00:40:27.100 We're called to serve our kids.
00:40:29.120 We're called to help them grow in righteousness.
00:40:31.820 Free markets.
00:40:33.300 Of course, that's a masculine position.
00:40:35.880 Individual and personal responsibility.
00:40:37.580 I can make my choices how I want to spend my money,
00:40:39.740 and you can make yours.
00:40:40.900 And I'm going to try to add value into the world, right?
00:40:43.700 Protect, provide, preside.
00:40:44.660 I'm going to try to add value into the world
00:40:46.220 that people are voluntarily interested in acquiring.
00:40:53.620 The alternative is compulsion.
00:40:56.000 You have to buy this thing, or you have to sell this thing.
00:40:59.640 Like, Kamala's doing that right now with housing prices and price gouging.
00:41:03.560 She's going to, like, one person or one committee
00:41:09.240 is going to set a price for 300-plus million people.
00:41:16.980 Tell me how that's masculine, that you have to do this.
00:41:22.240 We're going to force you to sell your product for this much.
00:41:25.480 We're going to force you to make these many items.
00:41:28.520 That's communism.
00:41:31.040 It's antithetical to what it means to be a man.
00:41:33.560 The rule of law.
00:41:37.560 Believing that everybody is equal,
00:41:39.160 but we're not going to just give people stuff at the end.
00:41:41.820 Because if the government is giving things to people,
00:41:44.360 they have to take it from somebody else.
00:41:46.800 Again, theft.
00:41:47.520 That's not manly.
00:41:49.240 So, of course, these are masculine political positions.
00:41:51.540 But if you're looking at it from a political perspective,
00:41:53.820 and we can even just look at the data,
00:41:56.320 more and more women are liberal,
00:41:58.480 and obviously more men are conservative.
00:42:00.820 I mean, these are not my opinions.
00:42:02.260 This is the data.
00:42:04.440 Like, the data suggests this.
00:42:05.720 This is some information from Gallup.
00:42:08.820 And it says here,
00:42:10.880 U.S. women, the title is,
00:42:12.000 U.S. women have become more liberal, men mostly stable.
00:42:14.760 And to go into this a little bit,
00:42:18.060 from 99 through 2013,
00:42:20.140 about 3 in 10 women age 18 to 29 identified as being liberal.
00:42:25.540 So about 30% of women between the ages of,
00:42:28.200 or excuse me, yes,
00:42:28.860 between the ages of 18 to 29 are liberal.
00:42:30.900 But around 2020, 2022, 2023,
00:42:33.980 it increased from about 30% up to,
00:42:38.460 or 33%, I should say,
00:42:39.900 up to about 41, 42%.
00:42:43.900 So more and more women are becoming more and more liberal.
00:42:48.540 And this specifically applies to educated single women.
00:42:52.440 And that's a growing segment.
00:42:55.840 Women are outpacing men in formal education.
00:42:59.840 And there are significantly more single,
00:43:02.640 both men and women,
00:43:03.700 than there have been in the past.
00:43:04.960 So, of course,
00:43:07.080 liberalism is growing
00:43:08.100 because more and more women are in that demographic
00:43:12.740 of educated and single.
00:43:14.980 It says here that 14% of women aged 65 and older
00:43:20.920 identified as liberal in 99,
00:43:22.460 but this rose to 21% in 2013 and 25% by 2023.
00:43:28.160 So one in every four women aged 65 and older
00:43:31.940 identified themselves in liberal after 2013.
00:43:36.340 I wonder why it's less.
00:43:38.260 Why is it 25 for women over 65
00:43:40.680 than it is for women under 29?
00:43:43.540 40% to 25%.
00:43:46.640 Because a woman who's 65 years old
00:43:50.580 knows how the world works.
00:43:52.980 There's a phrase, and I'm gonna butcher it.
00:43:54.720 It says, if you're a, well, how does it go?
00:43:58.480 If you're conservative before age 25, you're heartless.
00:44:02.900 If you're a liberal after 25, you're brainless.
00:44:08.300 I mean, that's really the difference.
00:44:09.920 And I think that's why
00:44:11.160 conservatism is more likely
00:44:14.400 to be equated with masculinity
00:44:16.140 because it's a logic-based ideology.
00:44:21.920 Liberalism tends to be a more emotional
00:44:23.800 or feeling-based ideology.
00:44:26.820 And we know the differences between the sexes.
00:44:29.300 So that one's gonna stir a lot of people up,
00:44:30.840 but that's the reality of it.
00:44:32.480 It'd be hard to convince me otherwise,
00:44:34.120 but maybe you've got some points on it.
00:44:35.480 But that, I think, is the reality of it.
00:44:37.160 All right, let's take,
00:44:40.000 looks like we might have one or two more.
00:44:42.040 So this one comes from Devin Fox.
00:44:43.580 He says, I've been struggling with deciding
00:44:45.900 if we want a second child.
00:44:48.360 Thoughts on being a one-and-done parent.
00:44:51.560 Again, not my decision to make.
00:44:54.020 Of course, you're just asking for my feedback.
00:44:55.940 I see the pros and cons of both.
00:45:00.220 Having one child allows you to focus
00:45:02.600 and really pour all your time and attention and energy
00:45:06.540 into that one child.
00:45:08.320 Having more than one child,
00:45:10.540 sure, your time is gonna be spread out,
00:45:12.680 but if you have something to share
00:45:14.020 and you have a way to provide for them,
00:45:16.760 I think that's an important consideration,
00:45:18.500 then bringing children to the world
00:45:20.040 is a beautiful blessing.
00:45:21.580 And by the way, from a societal standpoint,
00:45:23.560 we need more children in the world.
00:45:26.700 Our birth rates are dwindling.
00:45:29.240 They're falling so far behind
00:45:31.220 and it's just not sustainable.
00:45:32.540 So we need good kids in this world
00:45:35.100 and we need righteous parents to raise them.
00:45:38.100 Men and women who listen to this podcast
00:45:39.860 and go to church
00:45:41.520 and believe in good, wholesome information
00:45:46.020 and activities and ways to grow their families.
00:45:49.440 We need that to offset the fact
00:45:52.160 that we're just not having kids at the same rate.
00:45:54.420 So it's really, really important
00:45:55.620 that we bump up these birth rates.
00:45:57.480 But I think you have to ask yourself,
00:45:59.120 are you in the financial position to do it?
00:46:02.720 Like, do you have the means to do it?
00:46:04.560 And I think more importantly than that,
00:46:06.460 because the means will come,
00:46:07.380 especially if you're young.
00:46:09.220 You know, I remember when we first started having kids,
00:46:12.360 we weren't in the best financial position.
00:46:14.620 We could make ends meet and we could afford it,
00:46:17.440 but it was still tight and scary at times.
00:46:20.920 You know, as I've gotten older,
00:46:22.320 that's not as big of an issue as it was before.
00:46:25.420 So, but you do need to consider whether or not
00:46:28.500 you can handle the financial obligation,
00:46:31.720 responsibility of bringing additional kids in the world.
00:46:33.660 But I think you also have to ask yourself,
00:46:35.440 am I going to be present and available physically,
00:46:38.020 mentally, emotionally, and spiritually for this child?
00:46:39.900 If you're not, then I would suggest
00:46:43.160 you don't bring a child into the world
00:46:44.980 because we don't need another child
00:46:48.220 who's not engaged with his parents.
00:46:49.960 We don't need to send another child
00:46:51.840 off to government indoctrination camps
00:46:54.520 that we call schooling and have absent parents.
00:46:58.640 And by the way, if you send your kids to school,
00:47:00.620 I'm not saying it's horrible,
00:47:01.680 but you better be involved as a parent.
00:47:04.720 And if you're not, then I think you really run the risk
00:47:07.740 of losing your child to a system
00:47:09.380 that you probably don't believe in.
00:47:12.880 But yeah, ask yourself if you're going to be present
00:47:15.160 physically, mentally, and emotionally for this child.
00:47:18.140 Another consideration is how's the relationship
00:47:20.440 with your wife, their mom?
00:47:23.400 I've actually heard therapists even allude to
00:47:27.620 or suggest that maybe in order to fix the relationship,
00:47:30.760 have a child.
00:47:31.680 What horrible, horrible advice.
00:47:34.540 And what a shame that you would do that to a child
00:47:36.940 if you guys are struggling and talking about divorce
00:47:43.680 and contention and animosity in the relationship,
00:47:46.420 probably not the best time to bring a child into the world.
00:47:49.280 But if things are good and you have visions and goals
00:47:51.620 and your goals are aligned
00:47:52.680 and you want to do this together forever,
00:47:54.200 then I would say you ought to consider
00:47:57.000 bringing a child into the world.
00:47:58.060 There's another question here
00:48:02.380 and this is the last one today.
00:48:03.940 This one comes from Jake Opinion.
00:48:05.220 He says, it's for Kip, but I'll go ahead and answer it
00:48:06.940 because Kip's not here.
00:48:07.720 He says, he was recently told that God won't quote,
00:48:09.840 use him because he has a heart of war.
00:48:12.960 This is something Kip talks a lot about.
00:48:15.000 I know this is something that you have discussed
00:48:16.700 a few separate times,
00:48:17.840 but can you riff off what heart of war means?
00:48:20.760 So for example, can I be a student of self-defense
00:48:23.100 without having a heart posture that is a heart of war?
00:48:26.800 If having a heart of war is inherently wrong,
00:48:29.260 what would you suggest I do to reposition?
00:48:33.200 I think a heart of war,
00:48:34.780 essentially what that means is that you want to contend,
00:48:37.860 you want to fight.
00:48:39.180 There's animosity, there's contention,
00:48:41.540 there's hostility built up in you.
00:48:43.300 And usually that is derived from some sort of past experience
00:48:47.960 or past story or past trauma that you're dealing with
00:48:51.220 that you have not yet corrected.
00:48:54.900 Or it might just be also some of the information
00:48:57.540 that you've been exposed to.
00:48:59.380 You know, I think of an extreme example,
00:49:02.080 a terrorist who wants to harm innocent people.
00:49:04.800 That's a heart of war.
00:49:06.360 That's contention, that's animosity.
00:49:08.160 And it might come because there's some past story
00:49:10.820 that he's telling himself that justifies it,
00:49:12.680 or it might become because he's been indoctrinated
00:49:15.500 through years and years of mental programming
00:49:18.140 to behave and act this way and think like he does.
00:49:21.820 So it could be either.
00:49:24.020 But no, I don't think that just because you want to be
00:49:26.880 a student of self-defense, for example,
00:49:28.440 that you have to have a heart of war.
00:49:29.820 I don't.
00:49:31.200 I don't want to go to war with people.
00:49:33.280 I don't want to battle with people.
00:49:34.540 I don't have a lot of contention.
00:49:35.900 Now I'm willing to do it.
00:49:37.860 If there's something that I need to make a stand for
00:49:39.980 or something I don't believe in
00:49:41.380 or some injustice that's taking place in front of me,
00:49:44.060 then yes, of course, I'm willing to do it.
00:49:47.040 It doesn't mean I want to.
00:49:48.340 I don't find joy in it.
00:49:50.040 I don't go out looking for it.
00:49:51.800 I'm not trying to create contention.
00:49:53.940 In fact, if anything, I'm trying to be a peacemaker.
00:49:59.020 Somebody who wants people to get along,
00:50:01.100 who wants to work together,
00:50:02.320 who wants to communicate and coordinate and compromise.
00:50:06.380 And if those things can work, I'm happy to do that.
00:50:08.540 But if needs be, I'll go to war if I have to.
00:50:12.560 And that's the distinction.
00:50:13.800 Are you looking for it or are you prepared for it?
00:50:19.620 A separate paragraph, he says, additional details.
00:50:22.500 This was told to me by the pastor's wife
00:50:24.540 after a short conversation about me training jujitsu,
00:50:27.760 practicing with firearms,
00:50:29.340 learning and reinforcing my situational awareness,
00:50:32.700 and a disagreement on Jordan Peterson's famous quote,
00:50:35.520 good men are dangerous men under control.
00:50:37.640 The comment was made about me training for violence
00:50:39.660 versus being meek and mild like Jesus.
00:50:42.360 This meek and mild thing, she's so mistaken.
00:50:47.000 This meek and mild thing doesn't mean weak and pathetic.
00:50:51.380 It means being a peacemaker.
00:50:54.040 Jesus Christ was a peacemaker.
00:50:56.220 He wanted peace, but he was willing to go to war.
00:51:00.440 He was willing to battle.
00:51:01.640 He didn't kowtow to people just because they didn't believe.
00:51:07.860 He didn't soften up his language and his rhetoric
00:51:10.140 just because it might offend people.
00:51:12.360 He died in a brutal, horrible, painful, excruciating way
00:51:19.240 for what he believed in.
00:51:21.480 He was a warrior.
00:51:24.040 Yes, he was meek and mild
00:51:25.220 because he looked for the good in people.
00:51:27.500 He was fulfilling a good and righteous mission
00:51:30.220 and purpose on this planet.
00:51:32.200 But we got to get past the idea
00:51:34.140 that he wasn't willing to make a stand
00:51:35.620 and he wasn't a strong person.
00:51:37.300 He certainly was.
00:51:39.560 So she's mistaken.
00:51:41.380 And I really wouldn't talk to her too much
00:51:43.560 about these issues moving forward.
00:51:46.260 More so I'd work on communicating with your pastor.
00:51:49.840 But if she's planting that nonsense
00:51:51.860 into her husband, the pastor's ear,
00:51:54.120 I have to wonder what the congregation is like.
00:51:57.540 And this is part of the problem with modern Christianity.
00:51:59.920 It's weak.
00:52:01.020 It's cowardly.
00:52:01.920 It's pathetic.
00:52:03.960 It's overly feminized.
00:52:06.980 It shifts and moves with the ebbs and flows
00:52:10.540 of current cultural tides.
00:52:12.920 I call it the doctrine of popular culture.
00:52:15.960 It's not the gospel.
00:52:17.760 It's not the doctrine of Christ.
00:52:19.560 It's the doctrine of popular culture.
00:52:22.180 What's popular?
00:52:24.100 What's the narrative?
00:52:25.000 What's the prevailing narrative?
00:52:26.180 And let's just follow that
00:52:27.000 because heaven forbid we offend somebody.
00:52:28.640 Did Jesus worry about offending people?
00:52:31.020 No, everywhere he went, he was offensive.
00:52:33.500 He didn't set out to be offensive.
00:52:35.600 He wasn't doing it to contend with people.
00:52:37.740 He was doing it to save people.
00:52:40.200 They chose to contend with him.
00:52:42.600 So I hope that gives you some perspective.
00:52:44.420 But no, she's wrong.
00:52:45.460 And you ought to listen to your pastor, not her.
00:52:48.040 All right, guys.
00:52:49.080 I hope that helps.
00:52:50.240 I hope that gives you some insights and ideas.
00:52:53.180 Again, I don't, and I say this all the time,
00:52:55.140 I don't think I have all the answers.
00:52:56.380 I have some of the answers
00:52:57.480 and I have some words that may or may not work.
00:53:01.400 I hope I give you good advice
00:53:03.220 and I base it off what's going on in my life.
00:53:05.440 And I also base it off of the tens of thousands of men
00:53:08.440 that I've worked with over 10 years
00:53:10.000 in improving their relationships,
00:53:12.360 improving their businesses,
00:53:13.900 improving their ability to operate in the community.
00:53:16.260 And I would highly encourage you
00:53:17.700 as we come into the middle of September
00:53:19.880 to check out our brotherhood, the Iron Council.
00:53:22.800 We're having conversations like this,
00:53:24.420 but they're going so much deeper
00:53:26.040 into what you could actually do.
00:53:28.760 And we're holding each other accountable.
00:53:30.720 And when a guy, for example,
00:53:31.980 this last one where he's like,
00:53:33.040 I don't know if I should train jujitsu
00:53:34.240 because do I have a heart at war?
00:53:35.820 We're going to say to you,
00:53:36.920 no, you're going to train jujitsu
00:53:38.140 and here's some schools where you can come with me
00:53:40.880 and we're working together above and beyond
00:53:43.140 just having discussions about it.
00:53:44.880 Check it out at orderaman.com slash ironcouncil.
00:53:48.100 All right, guys, that's all I've got for you today.
00:53:49.900 We'll be back on Friday.
00:53:51.000 Until then, go out there, take action
00:53:52.720 and become the man you are meant to be.
00:53:56.040 Thank you for listening to the Order of Man podcast.
00:54:01.360 You're ready to take charge of your life
00:54:03.000 and be more of the man you were meant to be.
00:54:05.400 We invite you to join the order at orderofman.com.