Order of Man - Prepared or Paranoid, Master Task Lists, and Neighborhood Fathering

00:00:00.000 You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest. Embrace your fears and boldly chart

00:00:04.960 your own path. When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time. Every time.

00:00:10.400 You are not easily deterred or defeated. Rugged. Resilient. Strong. This is your life. This is who

00:00:17.080 you are. This is who you will become. At the end of the day, and after all is said and done,

00:00:22.600 you can call yourself a man. Kip, what's up, man? So great to see you. As always,

00:00:26.960 looking forward to our conversation on this Ask Me Anything today. Before we hit record,

00:00:32.480 you're saying that your moose is coming out. Are we going to see that in the background or

00:00:37.740 where are you going to put this behemoth? If I put a moose in my background, all you would see is

00:00:42.860 brown fur. Based on where I'm at here on this screen, you would see nothing. But I actually

00:00:49.620 have a pitched roof in my living room right above a stairwell that goes down to the basement. So

00:00:55.740 I think it's going to fit right there. But it's four feet wide. It's four feet deep. And it's four

00:01:03.020 feet tall. So this thing is massive. And if I put it on that peak above the stairwell, I don't think

00:01:09.960 it'll it won't take up any living space. It'll just it'll just engulf a room, which is going to be

00:01:14.980 rad. Maybe said it said it. It's not going to take anybody out like no one's going to get injured by

00:01:21.240 the mounted moose. If they might, depending on how I got to do a little research on how I'm going to

00:01:26.060 mount this dang thing, because I don't know how heavy it is. But it is it is a monster. And I've

00:01:30.700 always wanted a mount a moose mount in my in my house. So I finally have one. And me and my son

00:01:39.460 took care of business. And it was our own hunt. I didn't buy somebody else's mount. It's our moose.

00:01:43.920 It's our hunt. So I feel good about it. That's funny. Have you seen those almost like gag things

00:01:50.300 where like a noisemaker and it's super small and it goes somewhere and everyone's like, what's that

00:01:54.860 noise? Do you know what I'm talking about? I think so. Yeah. You should do like a moose one.

00:02:02.360 And it's just randomly like you hear like the moose every so often. It would be funny if you did it like

00:02:08.120 motion detected. So you every time you walk by, it's like, I don't even know what it would make,

00:02:12.860 but I'm gonna I'm gonna make that me there. Just call. All right, cool. Most look, I'm taking

00:02:17.340 notes. Because I actually like that. All right. This is the critical things that we resolve here

00:02:22.200 on the order of man podcast. This is important stuff right here. This is very important stuff.

00:02:27.960 All right, cool. Well, good to see you. Let's get into questions today. Yeah, let's just get right to

00:02:33.360 it. Sorry, I was taking notes. I got distracted with tales of my moose. So taking notes of the sound

00:02:39.220 maker for the moose head. If I don't take notes, I won't do it. I think that's a good

00:02:42.820 lesson for everybody else. Like do whatever works for you. Some people make fun of my systems,

00:02:46.800 but my systems work. So yeah, you know, it's, it's only stupid if it doesn't work, right?

00:02:53.080 Yeah, yeah. Well, I actually, I know this, this is a system of yours. And in a long time ago,

00:03:00.000 I read seven habits of highly effective people. All you young kids have no idea what that book is,

00:03:04.960 because I'm dating myself here. But he talks about the master task list is what he calls it.

00:03:10.220 And it's, and he uses it like you use your notes. It's the dumping ground of, Oh, I need to do that.

00:03:16.120 It has no priority. I don't know when, but I need to document that it needs to get done. It goes on

00:03:21.860 the MTL. And then on a weekly basis, you scrub that you look through it and go, am I calling anything

00:03:28.260 up out of there? Right? And sign appropriately, it's perfect. And then you get out of your head and

00:03:32.300 you're not like trying to memorize stuff and, and ultimately end up forgetting.

00:03:36.560 I mean, there's value in the task list itself because you know what needs to get done. But

00:03:42.340 I think one of the often overlooked benefits of having the task list, which you just glossed over

00:03:46.880 briefly is that it's out of your head. And now it doesn't occupy space anymore because that making

00:03:53.960 this, uh, this motion tripped, you know, moose call thing. It's a good idea. I want to do it,

00:04:00.980 but I don't need that in my head today. I got a bunch of other stuff I need to get done.

00:04:05.920 So I like to purge it. You guys can see. So I use a battle planner. You iron council guys are going

00:04:11.480 to be upset with me because I, I haven't, it's all blank right now. Yeah. Yeah. The only thing that's

00:04:18.600 filled out is right here where I have all of my tasks that need to be done for the week. So I've

00:04:24.560 already written that out. In fact, I wrote that out last, the end of last week. So I can come in here,

00:04:29.040 throw them on here. The rest of this stuff will be filled in this morning. It's been a little bit

00:04:32.300 of a hectic morning. Uh, so yeah. Anyways. Um, yeah. If you can document your battle. Oh, good.

00:04:40.400 I was just going to say, if you're going to document your battle planner,

00:04:43.540 we should start. I'm going to have to mute you. Am I going to have to mute you?

00:04:49.700 Come on. We've been doing this for three years. We should know. We should know that the dance,

00:04:53.540 we should know that the harmony at this point, go ahead. Yeah, totally. Go ahead.

00:04:58.300 If you want a planner like Ryan's go to store.orderman.com back to you. Yes. Uh, one

00:05:05.440 other plug. So the battle planner store, store, store.orderman.com. One other plug is the iron

00:05:11.120 council is going to be opening up here in about three weeks, three and a half weeks or so. Uh,

00:05:15.000 this is going to be huge guys. This is the last opening of the year. So we're going to build out

00:05:19.800 this last quarter because what I really want to do is I want to give you guys momentum as you move

00:05:24.300 into 2024. Like everybody starts talking about new year's resolutions in December, maybe the end

00:05:30.340 of November, if they're a little bit more of an achiever, but that's too late. What I want to do is

00:05:36.120 I want to give you some track to run on. It's like a plane that takes off. If, if you're, if you're at

00:05:42.300 the end of the runway, like you don't have enough space to take off. It's just not going to happen.

00:05:46.780 Right. Uh, if you have some runway, you can get some ground. You can, you can get up to speed.

00:05:53.640 And then by the time you hit halfway or three quarters, or even the end of the runway,

00:05:56.960 you have enough speed for the lift and everything you need to do to fly successfully.

00:06:01.080 But that's what we don't do with our planning. If you get into December and you're like,

00:06:04.800 2024 is going to be the best year ever. It's like, nah, it's probably going to be the same as it was

00:06:09.280 give or take for, from 2023. But if we plan it out now for the next three months and you start

00:06:15.940 working towards achieving these things, what you're going to do is you're going to find that

00:06:20.060 some of your planning isn't going to work effectively. Good. I want to know that now.

00:06:23.620 Some of it's going to work really, really well. Good. I want to know what that is so I can double

00:06:27.480 down on it so that when we hit January of 2024, it's not like, what are we going to do? I'm going

00:06:33.280 to start new habits this year. It's not this abrupt start, stop type thing. We're going to ramp up right

00:06:39.260 now. And I promise you that if you take your, your, the last three months of your life of this year

00:06:45.520 seriously, then you can say 2024 is my year because you're actually doing something about it right now.

00:06:52.600 And that's all the work that we're doing inside the iron council. And you can, you can look at that

00:06:57.120 in two different ways. Number one is you can go to order a man.com slash iron council. You can get

00:07:01.460 signed up on the wait list. That's way. Number one, number two is you can go to order a man.com slash

00:07:07.940 battle ready. And if you do that, then you're going to get a series of 17 emails. That's going to get

00:07:13.360 you onboarded and ramped up and up to speed so that when you hit the iron council come September

00:07:18.440 15th, when it opens up, you're going to be light years ahead of everybody else who didn't do any

00:07:23.320 of that stuff. And everything that we talk about in there, you're already going to be familiar with.

00:07:27.200 So let's start planning today for what we want to do tomorrow and tomorrow will go better. So again,

00:07:32.780 order a man.com slash battle ready and order a man.com slash iron council. Those are the two ways I

00:07:37.880 would suggest to you. Excellent. All right. Excellent. Well, talking about the iron council,

00:07:42.220 we're going to fill some questions from the foundry, which is our system within the IC

00:07:47.920 Daryl Hahn. I'm sure it depends on the habit, but what is better to first build a good habit

00:07:54.840 or break bad ones? I don't, I don't really know if one is better than the other necessarily.

00:08:01.580 I think this is where we start to get into the shoulda, coulda, wouldas, and you should do this.

00:08:05.620 You shouldn't do that. I don't think we need to get into that. I actually think you can do both at

00:08:10.500 the same time. And you probably ought to consider doing that. In fact, in his work,

00:08:14.540 atomic habits by James clear, which we're actually going through in the iron council right now,

00:08:18.460 which is probably why Daryl asked this question. Uh, and Charles Duhigg's work in,

00:08:23.060 I think it's just called the habit, the book, the habit. They talk about the yellow one,

00:08:28.120 the yellow one with the wheel or whatever it is on there. I can't remember exactly with the red logo.

00:08:32.460 Yeah. Yep. That's, that's all I remember too. Uh, in, in both of their work, they talk about

00:08:40.340 this concept of something triggering the habit. So for example, smoking, let's say we, we, I think

00:08:49.080 all of us, including smokers would agree. That's a bad habit. There's probably a few people out

00:08:56.060 there like, Oh, this is excellent. This is good for my health. And this is a, this is going to

00:08:59.340 improve my life. Like very few people. Our European brothers did not get the memo guys.

00:09:06.080 It's not good for you. You should probably stop. I was so shocked when we were in France,

00:09:10.860 how many people still smoke? I'm like, really? I thought we stopped this, but Scotland was the

00:09:17.600 same way when we were, we're in Edinburgh. It was, it was like everybody was smoking. And if you

00:09:22.160 heard them, they're all European. I don't know what it is, but it's not good for you. We all know

00:09:26.920 that. And I think even Europeans know that, but something's triggering that for you. There's,

00:09:31.380 there's some sort of cue or trigger on the two terms I've heard. Yeah. You know, it might be

00:09:35.740 anxiety. It might be somebody else lights up and you're like, well, I'll have a smoke with this guy.

00:09:38.760 Right. It could be that after, after work is, Hey, when I'm off work, then I, then I have a smoke or

00:09:45.160 when lunch, I have a smoke. There's something that's triggering that habit for you. And we need to

00:09:50.840 identify what that is. So you can do that. And then what you should be doing is simultaneously

00:09:57.120 be replacing that bad habit with something more effective. So for example, if you realize that

00:10:02.820 the cue is socially related, everybody's going on a lunch break. Everybody's taking a break from work.

00:10:09.480 I'm out at the bar having a drink. And that's what your trigger is. Then you can simultaneously remove

00:10:16.320 the bad habit and replace at the same time with something better. And that could be maybe it's

00:10:23.240 having a sucker. I mean, I don't know. I'm just throwing out ideas here. You know, maybe it's

00:10:27.380 having another drink walk, going for a walk. Like it could be anything, but if you could identify what

00:10:34.540 the cue and trigger is, then you can replace the bad habit with a good one. Because I think there's

00:10:40.060 a problem in just saying, Hey, I'm going to stop. So when I stopped drinking, for example,

00:10:43.880 I think I would have had a harder time if I didn't replace it with seltzer water and energy drinks.

00:10:51.280 So it was energy drinks. And I'm like, well, these aren't good either. So, and I still have an

00:10:55.540 energy drink daily usually. Yeah. But I started to drink a lot more seltzer water because that I had

00:11:02.600 to replace it with something. Otherwise that void was going to create issues for me. So I think you can

00:11:07.480 do both simultaneously, whether it's drinking, smoking, pornography, gambling, womanizing,

00:11:17.540 lusting, like any of these things that we typically, you know, talk about drug use. I think you should

00:11:23.780 probably do both simultaneously. It could even be biting your nails. You know, that's when I bite my

00:11:28.940 nails. I've done a lot better lately, but it's usually when I'm focused on a task or I'm anxious

00:11:35.740 about something that I bite my nails. And so it could just be, you know, flipping a pencil or

00:11:41.260 coming up with whatever you can to replace that bad habit with something more productive and more

00:11:46.300 effective. And that's, what's gets, that's, what's recommended in a topic habits, right? Is,

00:11:50.440 is when you grab a bad habit to replace it with a good one, not to just like, Oh, I'm going to just

00:11:55.400 stop. Right. I mean, that's kind of one of the foundations of that book. So yeah, it kind of

00:12:00.600 addresses Daryl's question, right? It is right. You do both, right. You find the bad one,

00:12:04.840 replace it with a good one. I also think there's a great, a great tactic or strategy in there. And

00:12:12.780 one thing that again, both authors talk about is creating friction for the tasks or excuse me,

00:12:20.460 the habits that you don't want to engage in. Yeah. So if you don't want to drink, for example,

00:12:25.240 first thing is get rid of all the booze in the house. Like that's pretty common knowledge at this

00:12:29.620 point. But the reason that works is because now in order for you to have a drink, you can't just

00:12:34.720 do it on a whim because you can't go into the kitchen or the cabinet and get yourself a bottle

00:12:38.700 of booze. You actually have to get in the car. You got to drive somewhere. You got to spend money

00:12:43.980 on something. Now that might not hold you back completely, but there's barriers there that create

00:12:48.840 friction between you and the habit that you want to get rid of. And then we want to make the good

00:12:53.780 habits, working out, dieting, eating right, eating correctly. We want to make that more streamlined.

00:12:59.160 So a great example of that would be food prep. If you have a rough time with eating food throughout

00:13:05.360 the week and you're busy and you're like, shit, I don't have time. Like, let me just run to Burger

00:13:09.160 King real quick. Well, if on Sunday night you do food prep, now it's actually quicker for you just

00:13:16.580 to pull that out of the fridge, microwave it, and then just eat it. So the idea of you having not

00:13:22.860 enough time is no longer an issue and you just grease the grooves for the healthy habit and made

00:13:28.280 the harder habit. It gave it more friction. That's helpful too. That's been something extremely,

00:13:33.360 extremely useful for me. Yeah, totally. What's your thoughts around building mental fortitude?

00:13:39.120 You know, it's like sometimes I look at habits or I like I've had this conversation with gentlemen

00:13:44.580 before. It's like, oh, I struggle in these areas. And then you're like, well, what are you doing

00:13:50.460 to build some mental fortitude? Like, are you even, is there other areas that you're practicing

00:13:56.420 delayed gratification, like working out and doing hard things? And it's like, there's nothing difficult

00:14:01.440 in their lives, right? Everything is instant gratification. And so part of me feels like,

00:14:05.540 well, and you want to tackle this difficult thing, but yet you're not getting the reps of doing hard

00:14:11.780 things mentally at all. Well, there's a couple of points I would make with that. One is that I've seen

00:14:17.320 guys and I'm going to give you a silly example to prove a point, but I've seen guys scoff at the

00:14:25.960 idea of having systems in place because they believe you should just be strong enough to overcome

00:14:30.620 whatever your temptation is. Discipline always. Right. Yeah. That's dumb. I mean, there's no way

00:14:35.900 around it. That's dumb. The idea of that, like, yeah, I mean, let's say, let's take pornography use,

00:14:41.640 for example. So it's like, okay, I want to refrain from pornography. So why in the world would you sit in

00:14:47.240 front of your computer and, and like potentially expose yourself to that and just exercise willpower

00:14:52.920 and say, I'm not going to look at the pornographic websites I'm used to looking at? That's dumb.

00:14:57.980 You're just, you're just playing with fire. You're asking for fire. Yeah. Yeah. You're asking for

00:15:02.800 trouble when you're putting yourself in bad circumstances. Yeah. But some guys will say,

00:15:07.060 well, I'll, I'll, I do that because then I'll be able to resist it in the future. It's like,

00:15:10.720 maybe, you know, maybe, but also you're just, it's just a dumb thing to do. Um, what I would

00:15:17.160 suggest is to your point is learn to build up some mental fortitude in some other areas,

00:15:21.840 like working out, like training jujitsu, like getting up earlier than you're supposed to.

00:15:28.300 Maybe it's taking cold showers. Maybe it's taking on a new project at work. Maybe it's doing a new hobby

00:15:34.580 or an engaging a new, a new project. One project I did this weekend to actually that I've never done

00:15:39.900 before is I hung and installed some cabinets turned out pretty good. And I'm building a custom closet.

00:15:46.160 Never done that stuff before. I have enough woodworking skills that I can, you know, figure it

00:15:51.240 out. Uh, yeah, but that's fun. It's challenging. It's rewarding. It occupies my time. It's something

00:15:57.740 that's productive. So I would definitely suggest you build up mental fortitude that way. One way I did it

00:16:03.720 in jujitsu all the time is that if somebody ended up getting me in a submission, as long as they were

00:16:09.860 like jerking on my arm or, you know, being not a good training partner, I would sit in the submission

00:16:17.000 a little longer than I felt comfortable with. So Kip, if you had your arms wrapped around my neck,

00:16:22.920 when I first started training, it was like, okay, you got me.

00:16:26.520 Yeah. It's like, it was more as a tap to the panic, not to the actual choke.

00:16:31.640 And now it's like, okay, this hurts. I know he's got me. Like, I'm not getting out of this.

00:16:36.440 This is a submission. He's got me dead to rights. Just sit here for a second and feel it.

00:16:42.020 Like just feel it. And you feel it and you're like, okay, yep. That's, that's the point.

00:16:47.060 And then you notice yourself starting to build up some calmness in the face of chaos,

00:16:51.880 but there's one other point to this. You have to be deliberate and intentional about it.

00:16:56.560 And so this is why our concept of actor after action reviews is so important because now we

00:17:02.540 start connecting the dots. If I go train jujitsu and I train for an hour and then I come home and

00:17:08.020 I don't think anything about it. Sure. It was good for my body. It was like, sure.

00:17:13.120 Mentally, it wasn't as effective and productive as it could be unless I say, oh, you know that one

00:17:18.900 thing he did. How does that translate to my life? How does it translate to everyday life for me to be

00:17:24.840 calm? How does it translate for me to show aggression at certain moments, but refrain and

00:17:29.960 restrain and others. And that's why the after action review is so important because we take

00:17:34.380 these real world examples and situations that we're in. And then we apply the lessons broadly

00:17:40.220 across the rest of our lives. If you're not doing an after action review, you're missing valuable

00:17:45.460 feedback. That's going to translate from one experience to another. Totally. Love it, man.

00:17:51.220 Josh Fryer, emergency preparedness versus extreme prepping. Where do you draw the line between

00:17:58.060 these two categories? This is easy. I thought a lot about this one because there's preparation,

00:18:04.020 there's paranoia, right? Yeah. The line is this, when it starts to hinder your other performance and

00:18:12.020 your other duties, responsibilities, and obligations, that's the line. So if you're, let's take,

00:18:18.700 let's take food storage as just a small example. I think all of us would agree that having some food

00:18:26.980 set aside for an emergency, having a way to filter water, even having water storage, I think we would

00:18:34.360 all agree that that's an important thing. But if you're $50,000 in consumer debt or probably more,

00:18:41.020 I don't even know what the average is. $50,000 in consumer debt, you're losing $500 to $1,000 a month

00:18:49.180 in your discrepancy between what you spend and what you make. And you can't do a basic budget.

00:18:56.800 You're going to go spend $500 a week on food? I mean, come on. How sustainable is that? Now it's

00:19:05.800 starting to hinder other facets of your life. Could you spend $20 a week? Maybe do that.

00:19:13.120 And that's the point is that do it to the degree that you can, as long as it doesn't negatively

00:19:18.740 impact the rest of your life. With the financial situation I'm in, I'm fortunate enough that I can

00:19:24.860 go out and I can do food prep and I can get everything I have and get everything that I need.

00:19:29.080 And it's not going to hurt me or hinder me in the financial realm. But if it was, then I have to

00:19:35.280 consider how I'm going to invest in food prep without negatively impacting this side of things

00:19:40.480 over here. Another one, this is very common for a lot of guys, especially as we get into the fall

00:19:45.900 and we're getting into hunting season. I'm all for taking care of yourself. I'm all for having time

00:19:50.420 with yourself. I'm all for spending time with buddies. I think that's crucial. I think it's important.

00:19:54.980 I think hunting is a great way to develop a skillset that might come in handy at some point

00:20:00.900 down the road, but there's a point in time where it's going to negatively impact your marriage or

00:20:06.860 the relationship that you have with your kids. If your son's a senior, and this is his last year

00:20:12.080 of playing football, and you're going to miss every one of his games because every weekend he has a

00:20:16.540 game, you're out on a hunt. That's a problem, right? Now it's become an issue because you're impacting

00:20:22.160 negatively other things that you've identified as being important to you. Do you miss one game or

00:20:27.500 two? Sure. I get it. I can see that, but to miss all of them because you're taking care of this one

00:20:32.320 thing, that's where it starts to go from being prepared to being paranoia or being extreme in your

00:20:39.200 activities. I actually have a good example of this from a mindset perspective, and you'll kind of relate

00:20:46.840 to this. I will not maybe relate, but you'll be able to understand this due to Utah culture a little

00:20:53.240 bit. When I was a kid, my mom was all about the world ending. We would have family night, and the

00:21:03.260 books that we were reading weren't like, be happy and live a fulfilled life. It was like, the moon's

00:21:08.920 going to turn to blood. We're all dying, right? It was super focused around second coming kind of

00:21:18.140 orientation. And as a kid, I completely got into the mindset of, I'm never going to get past high

00:21:26.340 school. I'm never going to get married and have kids. And it affected my mindset. I was so wrapped up

00:21:35.220 in a doomsday approach to things that I wasn't enjoying life because I was so prepared, so worried

00:21:41.780 about what tomorrow was going to bring. This is a good example of prepping, right? Prepping is for

00:21:47.640 what? Prepping for what? The future. Just make sure that your preparedness doesn't stop you from living

00:21:55.360 in the present and enjoying what we have. So there's just another example of how that can get out of

00:22:01.100 whack. Yeah. Great example. Great example. Also, wondering who you're preparing for.

00:22:07.800 I had a close friend. This was probably, jeez, this was probably 15 years ago now. We were both

00:22:14.860 in the financial services industry. And he started to get into prepping. And then it became more and

00:22:20.620 more. And he's building underground bunkers, digging out holes with excavators and putting connex.

00:22:26.240 He was getting into it. Well, over the long haul, he ended up neglecting his other duties and

00:22:32.820 responsibilities. He neglected work. He's neglected his finances. And he neglected his family. So he

00:22:38.360 lost his job. He became financially destitute. And he lost his family. I'd rather die.

00:22:45.280 Totally.

00:22:46.020 Like, so, okay, great. You're prepared. And then now you're going to live in this bunker by yourself.

00:22:50.620 I'd rather die than not have financial abundance, all my relationships, working with my kids,

00:22:59.240 having a job that gives me fulfillment. I would rather be dead than all that gone,

00:23:04.860 but me have all the food storage in the world or the fanciest, you know, box underground.

00:23:09.520 Yeah.

00:23:10.100 So, yeah.

00:23:11.380 Totally. All right. Drew Sands. In business, how do you decide which revenue stream to go all in on?

00:23:19.120 I know for you, it's our council. However, I know that events and merchandise are also part of the

00:23:24.340 business. This is a good question. Right off the gate, I would say the one that is going to be the

00:23:30.280 most lucrative. I'm just thinking through this. I haven't seen this question. So I'm just thinking

00:23:34.700 through this. I would look at what is most lucrative, what is most cost effective. So for

00:23:40.600 example, if I could spend a dollar on marketing and earn 10, I would do that over spending a dollar

00:23:45.480 and earning two. I'm going to go all in on the 10X return rather than, you know, the one or two X

00:23:53.380 return. Also, I think a consideration is what do you enjoy? You know, like I think, yeah, look at the

00:24:01.160 margins from purely a mathematical perspective, but also if you don't enjoy doing that, how sustainable

00:24:06.540 is that going to be? Unless you're part of another business where you're worried about revenues and

00:24:12.120 bottom line and all that kind of stuff. And that's something different than what I'm talking about

00:24:15.840 now. I'm talking about for my business. So the Iron Council is a lucrative element of our business.

00:24:21.920 If I didn't enjoy that, I don't care how lucrative it was. It's just not going to be something I'm

00:24:27.600 really going to get too much into. But I also realized that there's risk in going all in on one

00:24:33.660 thing. And so we diversify even in our business. So we diversify with merchandise. If I'm telling you,

00:24:40.500 hey, join the Iron Council for $97 a month, that's in somebody's wheelhouse and it's not other

00:24:46.840 people's, but they can sure as heck afford a $25 hat. Or maybe they can't, they don't want to do the

00:24:53.380 $97 a month, but they'd love to spend two grand and come to an event with their son. So these are

00:24:59.720 different price points and different pricing models for different purposes. We have other plans in place

00:25:05.460 that are going to be one-off products that might be around $50 to $150. This is not a recurring

00:25:11.820 sort of business model. It's just a one-time $50 to $150 purchase. And that's going to hit guys that

00:25:19.360 have a little money in the bank account that want to spend a hundred bucks on a course, for example.

00:25:26.800 Another thing that we started to implement with our good friend Lex in the Iron Council

00:25:31.580 is some more small, small group coaching. Well, that's going to be significantly more expensive

00:25:36.940 than what the Iron Council is, but some guys are there. They have the budget, they have the means,

00:25:42.240 they have the desire. And so what I try to do is create all sorts of different price points and

00:25:47.360 different pricing models and structures based on trying to capture, this is like a business stuff.

00:25:54.340 So don't like, it sounds weird when we're talking about the order of men, because I really look at it as

00:25:58.540 a mission. So let's just hang that on the wall for a minute. I'm talking about the business element of

00:26:02.760 it now is I'm trying to capture as many different people as I can in different price points, in

00:26:08.900 different economic statuses. And we do that by creating different types of products and different

00:26:13.880 ways to pay for them. Yeah. Well, another way to saying that is provide services for those

00:26:19.460 individuals based upon where they are, right? Like some people say, Hey, you know, based upon where I am,

00:26:26.400 I want hands-on best of the best coaching or direct, you know, influence. And I don't want to

00:26:32.720 share. Right. Or other people are like, Hey, based upon where I'm at, my price point is, you know,

00:26:38.160 battle ready. And, you know, maybe some events once a year, right? Like it is about serving people

00:26:44.540 where they are. And there's a couple of things, Drew, I'd consider too. It's like, you know,

00:26:49.860 which things are passive, right? And other things to consider is like, which ones generate

00:26:56.840 reoccurring revenue stream, right? In the space that I am in, a lot of stuff is project-based work

00:27:03.660 that fluctuates. It's high, it's hot, it's cold, it's warm. It might be all over the place. And so

00:27:10.040 for us as an organization to focus on, Hey, how do we generate reoccurring revenue? That's dependable.

00:27:15.680 That's big, right? Or even passive revenue where back to your point, Ryan, maybe the margins are

00:27:22.860 minimal and it's reoccurring. Or if I'm not interested in that aspect of the business,

00:27:27.900 my passion's not there. Okay. Well, how can I delegate that to other team members? Let them

00:27:32.920 run with that side of it. And then we have some passive income that I can almost be like out of

00:27:36.980 sight, out of mind and focus my energy where my talents are, where my interests are. So I totally

00:27:43.140 agree with you, Ryan, like it, it's not, and I'd be careful with this and you said it drew. So I'm,

00:27:48.200 I'm putting it back on you with go all in on, I would be careful with all in on there. There's a

00:27:54.760 lot of different ways that you can generate revenue stream. And the last thing you want is to go all in

00:28:00.560 on something that based upon a change in the market, you're dead in the water, right? So you want to

00:28:07.060 look for things that were, that allow you to be recession proof as well as just market proof,

00:28:12.500 depending on how things evolve and change. Yeah. I think that's a great way of looking at it. I mean,

00:28:17.380 even with our business model, it's the reoccurring revenue, right? With the iron council. And that's

00:28:22.440 created a base layer of business revenue. And then now we can do other things, right? I can come up

00:28:29.340 with hats and shirts and do events and create courses and all of that stuff. Again, we're just

00:28:35.480 looking at it now, guys. So please understand me from a business perspective. So this has nothing

00:28:40.140 to do with how much I value the movement. I always have to throw that out there because people are

00:28:43.940 like, well, isn't this important to you? It's just about money. It's just a business to you, isn't it?

00:28:47.360 No, it's, it's both. It's, it's a business so I can stay in the game and serve, but it's also

00:28:52.380 something I'm deeply passionate about. But there's going to be a couple of guys out there who

00:28:56.520 inevitably say it because they can't wrap their heads around the idea of enjoying something,

00:29:00.460 but also making a lot of money doing it because they're not doing that in their life.

00:29:04.180 They're miserable. So they equate earning money with misery. And if that's what you think about

00:29:10.240 earning money, do you really think you're going to create financial abundance in your life?

00:29:14.760 You're not, you're really not. Yeah. So maybe pull it off. You're miserable while you're doing it.

00:29:20.340 Like really? Then what was the whole point? Right, right. Injection. Yeah, no, you're,

00:29:25.340 you're right. So, so now we can experiment with different things. And, and, you know,

00:29:28.840 I think about a hat, for example, there's some guys who are like, you know, I don't want all the

00:29:31.940 coaching. I don't want the brotherhood. I don't want all that. But like, Ryan, I really enjoy your

00:29:35.340 podcast. How can I support? I need to have a way for you to support at $20 a pop because that's all

00:29:42.420 you're willing to. And that's fine. I love it. I'm I'll take it. And hopefully you get a great hat or a

00:29:47.360 great shirt and has a great message and reminds you to, to try to aspire to live a certain way.

00:29:51.560 And in the meantime, it generates revenue for the business so that I can continue to invest in

00:29:55.980 technology and camera equipment and new marketing strategies and hiring the right people.

00:30:02.380 That's one thing I get a lot is like guys will say, especially with the iron council,

00:30:06.960 I made a post about three months ago when we opened last time. And I said, Hey, the iron council's open

00:30:11.740 and here's what you get and here's what you do. And somebody wrote back, well, where does all that

00:30:15.740 money go? And it wasn't like a genuine question. It's just a dumb question. And let me tell you why

00:30:22.920 it's a dumb question. Number one, it's cynical. And that's how he meant it is like, well, where's

00:30:28.060 all my money going? So it's a cynical question, but it's also really dumb because for example,

00:30:33.620 if I go to Walmart today and I get some groceries or I buy a new computer, like I don't ask where does

00:30:41.640 all my money, I'm going to buy this new Mac, where does all that money go? Where the hell do you

00:30:46.980 think it goes? It's a business. So it goes into employees. It goes into technology. It goes into

00:30:52.360 the actual thing that you bought. It goes into extra money to generate revenue. Some of that

00:30:59.060 gets siphoned off to personal accounts so that people can put food on the table and a roof over

00:31:04.080 their head. Like it's a ridiculous, it's a ludicrous question because you spend money every single day

00:31:10.580 and never once do you ask, where does all this money go? We know where it goes. And capitalism

00:31:17.160 is the greatest system that we've ever devised to create more prosperity, more abundance, more

00:31:24.840 technology, more advancement in medical and transportation and standard of living devices,

00:31:31.940 all because we're a little bit greedy. And the more money we can generate, the more we can pour

00:31:38.300 back into businesses and R&D and development and marketing and put a great product out in the

00:31:46.120 world. Guys, and this is not just my business. I see it all the time. Get over it. Yeah. Does it

00:31:52.440 have its faults? Sure. And I'll tell you where, now I'm going to get on a soapbox. I'll tell you where it

00:31:56.980 has its faults. When the government gets involved, that's cronyism. That's not capitalism. That's

00:32:03.720 crony capitalism. Okay. That's governments getting involved. Lobby is getting involved

00:32:08.360 to manipulate artificially markets in order to prop certain businesses or industries up. We even see

00:32:16.860 it with subsidies to prop industries up, to put others completely out of business. It's all through

00:32:22.500 the lobbyists. It's all through governments. Man, you get that stuff out of capitalism, out of the free

00:32:28.580 market society, and just watch people thrive through innovation. Now there's going to be some

00:32:34.340 companies that fail. I don't need the government to come in and rescue those companies. Those

00:32:38.560 companies need to either get smart or develop a new product that people actually want to pay money for

00:32:43.880 or figure out a way to reduce their price. Like I don't need anybody else to come save this company.

00:32:48.820 Sometimes the hostage has to be shot. And so sometimes businesses are going to go under,

00:32:54.100 but the businesses that don't learn from those because they see it and they're like,

00:32:57.740 oh, we need to do better than that competitor because he went out of business.

00:33:01.080 This is the way to true prosperity and abundance, not only in America, but in the world. But we got

00:33:06.760 to get over this idea of somebody making money as inherently evil or bad or manipulative. It's only

00:33:17.020 that way when the government gets involved and all that other stuff will be regulated through free

00:33:22.160 markets. Give you a great example of that. Take Bud Light. I don't even care if you agree with this or

00:33:26.920 not. That's not the point. But the market has spoken. Bud Light effed up. You don't have to

00:33:33.740 agree with it. You don't have to like it. You can agree. You can disagree. But the reality is,

00:33:38.100 is that eight plus billion people on the planet said, Bud Light, you effed up. And it was all

00:33:44.120 because of that Dylan Mulvaney fiasco. Again, I don't care whether you agree with the politics or

00:33:49.160 not. But isn't that a beautiful thing? Because now 8 billion people can say, no,

00:33:53.340 we're not playing that game. So Bud Light has two options. They can double down on their efforts

00:33:58.020 and continue to screw it up, which they have to some degree. Or they can get smart and say,

00:34:02.160 oh, you know what? Our customer base doesn't like this. Let's think about a better way of

00:34:07.100 serving our clientele. This is a beautiful system. It's the government that gets in and mucks it all

00:34:13.640 up. But anyways, that's my soapbox for the day. You don't seem to, I was going to say,

00:34:18.860 yeah, I don't think you have a strong opinion about the subject.

00:34:23.820 That's it's all good. All right. We're going to hop over to Facebook to join us there.

00:34:27.880 Facebook.com slash group slash order, man, Brendan Swaridowski in a healthy household.

00:34:34.820 Is there an age and time limit on when to move out from a parent's perspective and the child's if

00:34:40.660 the kids is taking advantage, still paying rent of a cheaper, healthy situation at home? Is it wrong

00:34:47.160 for them to live there into their late twenties? If my child and I have a healthy relationship and

00:34:52.500 they are doing what they need to progress in life, when would, do you think they should be out by?

00:34:57.680 You're looking at health from one side of the equation.

00:35:01.160 Yeah. Or at least in the short term, you say you have a healthy relationship. Do you?

00:35:07.060 Or is it just convenient for your kid? And so he's like, it better be nice to dad. I don't know.

00:35:11.400 I'm just throwing that out there. Yeah, it's true. Yeah. They've learned at least not to bite the

00:35:16.600 hand that's feeding them. Yeah. And also, let me ask you this, talking about health,

00:35:21.500 because you said that a couple of times, is it healthy long-term for a child who's either in

00:35:29.800 college or out starting his career? Is it healthy for him not to launch and not to pay his own way

00:35:37.220 and not to stumble and not to fumble and not to screw up? Is that healthy? A parent who's overly

00:35:44.240 cautious would say, well, yeah, because then he's taken care of and he doesn't have to worry about

00:35:49.840 that. You can focus on, get real and also get over yourself. You're not even worried about your

00:35:55.320 kid at that point. You're worried about your own feelings. You're more worried about how you'll feel

00:36:01.140 about what this child is going to experience when they deal with hardship than you are with

00:36:06.620 exposing them to some tough circumstances and letting them figure it out. I mean, how many of us,

00:36:11.960 as we've grown up, I'm 42 years old, I've missed rent. Okay. I've gone months without paying rent

00:36:18.240 in my life. Like there's been times where I'm like, shit, I got to rob Peter to pay Paul.

00:36:22.520 Like, and you know what? I'm okay. Like I figured it out. There was some sleepless nights and there was

00:36:28.880 some difficult conversations and there were some pissed off landlords, but you know what? Here I am.

00:36:34.540 It's fine. But let your kids have that and get out of the way so they can go out and actually create

00:36:42.060 experiences that are going to be summer painful where they can learn how to be out on their own.

00:36:48.780 Yeah. I was going to say something, Ryan. I feel like it, some of this is rooted in the idea

00:36:55.920 that we don't think the best teacher is the difficulty and, and there's, and then we delay it.

00:37:05.480 Right. And so think about your example of like, you know, not being able to pay rent. It is better

00:37:10.640 that your kids figure that out at 18 and 19, then 26, then 28, then 30 or whatever. And so the longer

00:37:21.200 we delay the difficulties that provide opportunities for growth, the bigger the impact will be when they

00:37:30.440 have to learn that lesson. Right. And that's one of the things that we, we failed to do here is we

00:37:35.820 think, well, an ideal state, right? It's in an ideal state. This is what's better for them and it helps

00:37:40.100 them out. But what we're failing to realize is most learning is found in the difficulty. Most learning is

00:37:47.700 found in the struggle. And if we delay the struggle, then we delay the learning and we delay

00:37:54.360 and the consequences of that delay learning just increases as they get older and older.

00:38:00.920 Yeah. So you want Tommy to fail young, not when he's older. And, and, and if we keep swooping in

00:38:07.020 and helping them, we're delaying that learning experience when the impact is minimal.

00:38:11.900 You even want them to fail when they're under your wing. Like my kids, they have chores. And so I tell

00:38:17.560 them, here's your chores. And a couple of them will put up a stink because they haven't been around me

00:38:22.340 long enough, but they'll put up a stink about it. It's like, I don't want to do that. It's like,

00:38:25.800 cool. Then you don't get to eat dinner with us tonight. And they're like, well, that's not fair.

00:38:30.280 No, that's a hundred percent fair. Like I have to pay for that food. I have to cook the food. I have

00:38:36.100 to prepare it and I have to do the dishes. The least you can do is the dishes after it's done.

00:38:40.700 You don't like doing that. Don't eat dinner with us. Like that's the deal. Oh, you don't,

00:38:45.440 you don't like, you have to vacuum your room. Cool. I'll take that mattress back.

00:38:50.140 That's the deal. It's not, it's not a hard thing. And you know, they'll put up a stink about it

00:38:55.940 and they'll go to bed hungry for a couple of nights. And then they'll realize, oh yeah,

00:39:00.820 I actually have to pull my weight to eat. Yep. That's what you have to do here.

00:39:03.940 Yeah. Cause that's what the world is. And the sooner they learn that lesson, the better.

00:39:09.100 Right. I totally agree. What was the first part of his question? He said something about like,

00:39:13.040 his son is taking advantage of that, that, that I, I, yeah. I mean, if the kid is taking

00:39:18.100 advantage, still, still paying rent of a cheaper, healthy situation at home, is it wrong for them

00:39:23.000 to live there until their late twenties? You're trying to like, you're conflate. You're saying

00:39:28.060 a cheaper, healthy. So what you're doing, you're saying that being cheaper is healthier. Like

00:39:32.200 you're conflating it. He's taking advantage of this, right? That's the answer. He's taking advantage

00:39:37.100 of the system. Of course he is. Yeah. Which you can't blame him for, but create the opportunity

00:39:42.420 for him not to take advantage of it. Don't say that because you guys talk or because it's cheap,

00:39:47.460 it's healthy. That's not what healthy means. Yeah. Healthy means he's learning to be self-sufficient.

00:39:53.840 So give him the leeway to be self-sufficient. The biggest thing we have to realize guys is you're not

00:40:01.660 doing this for Tommy. I know you're not because I, that's not what I'm doing for my kids. When I

00:40:06.780 coddle them, you know who I'm doing it for me, because I don't want to deal with the fallout.

00:40:12.900 I don't want to see my kids suffer. I don't want to feel sorry for what my child is going through.

00:40:18.200 That's nothing to do with what they're going through. It's, it revolves around me. It's selfish.

00:40:22.780 And we got to let go of that selfishness and let life happen and progress and let them learn.

00:40:28.300 All right. I think we beat that one to death. Yeah. Christopher Hickman. I just finished my

00:40:33.700 Mike Glover's book prepared reading. It gave me a lot of good insights on how to better protect

00:40:38.820 myself, better protect myself. There's a lot to consider and it's easy to go overboard wanting

00:40:44.780 to buy it all right away. What sort of precautions have you taken to keep your vehicle equipped for

00:40:50.340 emergencies? And, and what, where, what were your first priorities you tackled in terms of

00:40:55.560 preparedness when you got to your new place in Utah? I think, I think Mike would agree with this.

00:41:01.700 You have to almost in a way triage the situations that you might encounter. So when I moved from

00:41:09.480 Maine to Utah, the likelihood of me needing a bunch of cold weather survival gear in my truck

00:41:15.520 drastically reduced because I'm here in Southern Utah, it's going to be 95 degrees today. It's not to

00:41:21.380 say I shouldn't be aware of it, but it's not as important as making sure that I have ways to keep

00:41:26.760 myself cool and hydrated, which may not be the same issue that I'm dealing with in Maine.

00:41:31.460 So what we do is we triage what we're likely to encounter. So as far as what I have in the vehicle,

00:41:37.520 um, it's something to, it's a bag that I would have in place if I needed to deal with something

00:41:43.580 overnight. It's some water, uh, it's medical supplies because the likelihood of me either

00:41:50.460 having some sort of medical injury or coming across somebody. I mean, how often guys have you

00:41:56.000 been the first person to witness an accident and that you got to go take care of this person.

00:42:01.080 Maybe that's something as severe as a tourniquet, right? Or maybe it's just, you know, bandaging some,

00:42:06.500 some deep lacerations. That's good. That's a strong likelihood that that's going to happen to you

00:42:11.580 if it already hasn't in at some point in your life. So that should be in there. Uh, you got to

00:42:16.400 consider, man, what, what would happen to my vehicle if it broke down? So is, do you have a

00:42:22.180 working Jack? Do you have your spare tire? Is it inflated? What does that look like? Uh, another

00:42:28.740 thing that I have is I have a little USB, uh, charger that will jumpstart my car. So if for whatever

00:42:37.280 reason, my battery died or I left the light on or whatever, I can take that little

00:42:41.320 USB charged charger, hook it right up to the battery terminals. And I know it works because

00:42:45.760 I've tried it fires right up. As long as I keep that thing charged, I was probably a good reminder.

00:42:51.420 I probably should go in and charge it now. Cause it's probably dead. Yeah. Yeah. But there's

00:42:56.000 things like this that you got to consider if my vehicle breaks down, if I come across for myself

00:43:00.440 or somebody else, a medical condition, also self-defense, you know, especially if you're in a

00:43:05.040 city and I'm going to say, I'm going to put this disclaimer out there, check your local laws, but

00:43:11.080 there might be a situation where you have to defend yourself. If you're in a riot or somebody's trying

00:43:16.360 to mug you or steal your vehicle, um, or you deal with some sort of violent encounter, how do you deal

00:43:21.020 with that? Also, do you know the laws? Like if, if there's a riot and they start jumping on your car,

00:43:27.300 can you mow people down to get out of there? Like, is that, is that a legal viable strategy?

00:43:32.160 Yes or no. What ramifications come with that? Like, these are all important things to know

00:43:37.040 outside of just what kind of preparations you should have for your, for your vehicle.

00:43:40.920 These are some considerations that I've, that I've implemented in my vehicles.

00:43:46.540 Oh, the other thing, the other thing I would say is I actually think it's really important that

00:43:51.720 everybody have a carbureted vehicle. Like every vehicle that we have just about now has, has

00:43:57.620 computer technology. And I'm trying not to dip into the realm of conspiracy or

00:44:01.980 paranoia, but like that stuff can be shut off from a remote. That stuff's subject to EMPs,

00:44:08.620 electric magnetic pulses. That stuff's subject to just parts, extra parts breaking down.

00:44:15.280 Forget about the conspiracy stuff. So I like having a carbureted vehicle.

00:44:20.420 Yeah. Learn how to drive stick. You know, if I, if I was driving, uh, if I was deserted somewhere

00:44:27.000 and, and I needed to get from point A to point B, or there was some sort of emergency situation,

00:44:31.740 the only vehicle was a manual transmission. Could I operate the thing? If not, I better figure out

00:44:38.220 how to operate manual transmission. Otherwise somebody might not get to the hospital in time

00:44:43.180 because that's the only vehicle there and available.

00:44:45.140 Yeah. All right. Josh Sutton, as a father, that was an Eagle scout. Don't associate with the Boy

00:44:53.860 Scouts of America anymore. Would trail life be a decent replacement for my son? And I don't like

00:45:00.260 like a, uh, organization. Is that what that is or? Yeah. Trail life USA, I think is what it's called.

00:45:05.160 Um, yeah, I agree with the Boy Scout thing. A lot of people, when I, when I talk about Boy Scouts,

00:45:09.420 I called this and people mocked me that I said, Boy Scouts is dead. This was probably five years

00:45:13.920 ago. Boy Scouts is done. It's dead. People are like, no, this is, they mocked me like fine,

00:45:18.800 whatever. But this is a dying organization. You know, when you go against your charter,

00:45:23.300 you go against your determining and founding principles. It's only a matter of time before you

00:45:27.780 go under and people will say, well, my local chapter, well, that's great. But the, the,

00:45:33.460 the, the rotten tree cannot yield and bear good fruit. If the tree has gone bad, the fruit will

00:45:40.220 inevitably go bad. It might take some time, but it too will inevitably go bad. If you don't have

00:45:44.920 any support at the, at the, the higher echelons of the organization, like at some point you can only

00:45:51.380 rely on your own abilities. And there are some great scout leaders who probably listened to this

00:45:55.920 podcast who I commend. I think you're doing honorable and great work. So don't misunderstand me,

00:46:00.740 but you're working for a corrupt organization. You're working for an organization, maybe not

00:46:05.700 corrupt, but you're working for an organization that has gone bad. The tree has gone bad. And now

00:46:13.480 you're just hoping that the nutrients that are remaining are going to be enough to help you do

00:46:17.620 what you want to do. It's just not a great system to operate in. So yeah, Trail Life USA is one I've

00:46:24.440 looked into. That's a really good viable option based on the research that I've done. If I

00:46:30.960 understand correctly, that one might, there's a couple others I can't remember right offhand,

00:46:35.440 but that one might be, have more of a Christian undertone to it, which I don't think is inherently

00:46:41.140 bad. It's just something you need to know. In fact, I think it's inherently good, but it's just

00:46:45.740 something you need to be aware of. So yeah, or create your own. I mean, create your own system.

00:46:52.260 If it's just you and your kid, I would actually love to see that. I'd love to see more one-to-one

00:46:56.740 involvement or one-to-two involvement, meaning you and your son are sons and maybe of a friend,

00:47:03.400 right? Maybe the kid down the road who doesn't have dad around and he can come over and hang

00:47:06.700 out with you and your boy while you go fishing this weekend. That's what I'm talking about.

00:47:09.660 Yeah. I mean, just imagine, imagine the benefit of, Oh, there's no Boy Scouts in my neighborhood.

00:47:15.860 So I'm going to have to learn these things so I can teach my kids. Like seriously,

00:47:19.740 it's not going to be a bad thing. I mean, we're all better off in that example. So we'll take

00:47:26.440 your immediate neighborhood. You know, I've got one house up here to the street. I've got a field

00:47:31.980 there. And then if you go down here, I probably got, you know, four or five houses on this side,

00:47:36.560 four or five on this side. And then this cul-de-sac right around the corners, probably got 10 houses.

00:47:40.460 So there's probably 20 within two to 300 yards of my house. There's probably 20 houses.

00:47:46.940 So out of those 20, half of them probably have maybe actually in this neighborhood,

00:47:52.940 probably 80% of them have kids in the house. Okay. So there's eight, 80% of those houses. So

00:47:57.720 18, uh, 16 of those houses have kids of those. Let's say that, I don't know, 60, 70, 80%.

00:48:07.240 I think it's a little higher in the area that we're in have fathers in the home. So that means

00:48:11.960 that there's probably of the 16 that have kids, there's probably 12 to 13 to 14 that have dads in

00:48:18.160 the house itself. What about the other four households? And what if the, the 12, let's say

00:48:23.980 12, what about the 12 households that had engaged fathers decided, Hey, you know what? We're going to

00:48:30.440 serve our kids, but we're also going to make sure we're going to take care of ours in this neighborhood.

00:48:33.520 And now all of a sudden you've got 12 dads for four households that don't have dads in

00:48:41.900 it. That means that there's like three dads for every house that doesn't have a dad in

00:48:47.900 it. Like, imagine if we all just did that for a second. So instead of just going to the game,

00:48:53.840 go to your neighbor and say, Hey, I know, uh, John is, I don't know if he's around or what,

00:48:59.380 but we're going to the football game and you want to come with us or, Hey, we're going camping this

00:49:05.320 week. Like we'd love to have little Billy come with us. If he's interested, like imagine now he's

00:49:10.260 got three dads. He might even be better off than having a disengaged father in the house

00:49:15.520 because there's three to four per house that are engaged that way. That's the kind of,

00:49:20.100 that's the kind of neighborhoods that we need to create. And, and then, you know what? Boy Scouts

00:49:24.880 isn't an issue. This is not. Yeah. I like it. Bob Ross. Yes. Bob Ross. He says happy little trees.

00:49:33.900 My wife recently lost a lot of blood and underwent emergency surgery. She is stable now and home,

00:49:40.660 but we'll be off work for two months. Financially we are stable and this is not a source of stress.

00:49:46.940 What I am concerned about, uh, is with taking care of my son and wife. I know I can take care of

00:49:53.300 them, but I am concerned. I may not have any time left for me. What small things would you recommend

00:49:59.380 or tricks you may possibly use to get small amounts of time for self-care things for your ideas and

00:50:04.740 input? Yeah, you might, you might not have time for yourself. Like I think that realization is

00:50:09.780 important, but you said yourself, she's out, she's laid up for two months. You can do that. Anybody can

00:50:14.240 do that for two months. Like if you can't have it, if you have to stop going to the gym or you don't

00:50:19.100 have as much training time, you know, then that sucks, but you can do it because you're a loving

00:50:24.720 husband and father. And that's the sacrifice that we would make, but there are things that you can

00:50:29.060 do. Let's take the gym. For example, maybe you can't go to the gym, but you can go for a run around

00:50:33.640 the neighborhood. What's that going to take you? 20 minutes, you know, depending on how fast or how

00:50:37.940 far you run, it might take you 20 minutes. Um, you can't go outside and do a body weight workout.

00:50:42.960 You can get your son. How, how old is Bob's son? Did he say?

00:50:46.040 He didn't say, but I mean, you know, whether he's in a stroller or walking with you or on his

00:50:51.520 little bike, right? Like that's that walk, that exercise. That's a great time with him.

00:50:56.240 Yeah. So you kill two birds with one stone that way. Um, but there's other things. I think your

00:51:00.400 wife, you know, she's not, she's not incapacitated. I mean, she's present, you know, she's there.

00:51:07.160 And so you might say to her, Hey hon, just so you know, like I'm going to take about half an hour

00:51:11.780 off. Uh, and I'm going to go for a bike ride or I'm going to go to the gym or I'm going to go for

00:51:17.080 a ride or I'm going to go, uh, grab a drink with my buddy, or we're going to go to the football game

00:51:21.120 tonight or whatever. Um, with our son, you know, he's occupied with coloring right now. Um, I told

00:51:27.800 him that if he can say here and he can color and he can play with Lego or do whatever he's going to do,

00:51:32.200 then we'll invite one of his friends over when I get back in 45 minutes. But just wanted to let you

00:51:36.700 know, he should be occupied. He should be good. Um, and he knows how you're feeling. And so I set

00:51:41.380 those boundaries up and, and, you know, that's the deal. I think if you, depending on how old he is,

00:51:46.420 if it's a baby, that's, that's harder. Right. But you can plan that in a nap. So you're like, Hey hon,

00:51:53.340 little Billy's taking a nap right now. He's going to be out for the next hour and a half, two hours.

00:51:57.780 Um, are you good? Can I get you some, some lunch? Can I get you taken care of? Because while he's taking

00:52:02.900 a nap, I'm going to let you do whatever you need to do. I'm out. Like I'm going to go have lunch with

00:52:08.480 my buddies. And so you just plan around that to make it work for everybody during this time.

00:52:14.880 Totally. Well, and there's like, I don't know, like a thing I feel like I use all the time is like

00:52:20.320 build up the excitement of movie night. And that's a great time to bell out. Right. So you could say,

00:52:26.060 Hey, it's, it's, you know, mom and son date night. I'm going to set up a movie,

00:52:31.060 do some popcorn for you guys. You get to hang out. I'm going to remove myself, you know,

00:52:37.220 from the movie and I'm going to go work out. Right. Like there's, there's some ways if you just

00:52:40.940 get creative and, and, and think through them and, and over communicate, right? Like you may not be

00:52:45.980 able to turn the nap thing. All right. Hey honey, once baby falls asleep, just so you know, like I

00:52:51.940 really want to go to the gym. So I'm going to bell once he's asleep. So that way you're managing

00:52:55.280 some expectations. Um, and, and the best way we do that is, is over communication. So.

00:53:01.060 Yeah. And, and along those lines of communication is making sure that you're being honest. So I was

00:53:05.440 going to call you out on the movie night thing a minute ago, but you, I think the way you said it

00:53:09.640 is exactly right. I thought you were going to go with, Hey, while they're watching a movie, sneak

00:53:14.120 out and we're not doing, that's not what we're saying. Yeah. It's, it's a plan. So here's what

00:53:19.160 a lot of guys would do is like, and I've done, I've been guilty of it. You turn the movie on and it's

00:53:23.620 like, what are my kids, my kids wanted to watch the other day. My two youngest teenage something

00:53:28.240 cracking or something like some car. I'm like, I don't want to watch this. And so what do we do?

00:53:33.320 We bail? Like we go work or we go fiddle around with a project or we go tinker around. I don't

00:53:39.120 know, whatever we do. Right. Yeah. That's not the right way to do it. The right way to do it is say,

00:53:44.300 Hey hon, movie night for you to not family movie night. Cause then you're lying. It's a movie night

00:53:50.940 for you to, I need some time. This is going to allow you to have some time with our kid in a,

00:53:56.100 in an easier way for you to manage based on what's going on health-wise right now,

00:53:59.520 but I'm not going to be here. And so you're over communicating to your point, Kip. And you're

00:54:04.940 also being honest. Cause if you say family movie night and you start cooking popcorn and you sit

00:54:10.040 down, you're in it. You just committed. Yeah. You can't bail now I've bailed and it doesn't,

00:54:15.980 it's not good. It doesn't, even if your kids don't say anything or your wife doesn't say anything,

00:54:19.440 it's not a good look. Yeah. Well, it's dishonest, right? I mean, you set one expectation

00:54:24.960 and bail out on it, right? It's a form of out of integrity. So cool. All right, man,

00:54:30.500 we got through our questions. So a couple of things as reminders. Yep. Ryan called these out

00:54:35.440 earlier. So engage, learn about the iron council, go to order of man.com slash iron council to sign

00:54:40.820 up and get notified when we open up roughly in three weeks or get on that path now by going to

00:54:46.160 order of man.com slash battle ready and start working and preparing to get that battle plan

00:54:51.520 in place for when you can join. And of course you can get your latest swag from store.orderofman.com

00:54:58.260 and connect with Mr. Mickler on Instagram and Twitter at Ryan Mickler.

00:55:03.740 Sweet. I think we got it all Kip. I appreciate you, man. Great conversation guys. Great questions

00:55:08.540 today. Some new ones we hadn't heard of that. I kind of stumbled over for a minute, but we like those

00:55:12.580 kind of questions. So keep them coming. All right, guys, let's get out there, take action and become

00:55:17.160 a man we are meant to be. Thank you for listening to the order of man podcast. You're ready to take

00:55:22.060 charge of your life and be more of the man you were meant to be. We invite you to join the order

00:55:26.540 at orderofman.com.

Order of Man - August 23, 2023

Prepared or Paranoid, Master Task Lists, and Neighborhood Fathering ｜ ASK ME ANYTHING

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