RAY "CASH" CARE ｜ How to Become a Savage Servant
Episode Stats
Length
1 hour and 9 minutes
Words per Minute
198.62605
Summary
Ray Cadey is a former Navy SEAL and CIA contractor. He is the founder of the Modern Night Project and the Squire Program and has been on the podcast for a number of years. In this episode, we talk about how to be both a man and a servant, overcoming past trauma and trauma, outward explosions versus inward implosions, the difference between problem makers and problem solvers, getting past self-sabotage and so much more.
Transcript
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Guys, most of what we see and hear about on the socials regarding being a man is being a savage, a lion, a killer, etc.
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And while I don't dismiss the importance of bodying those traits and characteristics,
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equally important is how we lead with value and ultimately serve other people.
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My guest today, former Navy SEAL and CIA operative Ray Cash Care and I talk about how to embody both the savage and also the servant.
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We cover overcoming past pain and trauma, outward explosions versus inward implosions,
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the difference between problem makers and problem solvers, getting past self-sabotage and so much more.
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You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest.
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Embrace your fears and boldly chart your own path.
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When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time.
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Every time you are not easily deterred, defeated, rugged, resilient, strong.
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This is who you will become at the end of the day.
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And after all is said and done, you can call yourself a man.
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Gentlemen, what is going on today? My name is Ryan Michler.
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I'm the host and the founder of the Order of Man podcast and movement.
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I've got a very powerful conversation lined up with my good friend Ray Cash Care.
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I just had surgery last week, so I'm recovering from that.
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But I want to make sure I get you a podcast and get this into your earbuds because it's important.
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These are the conversations that we need to continue to have if we want to step up as husbands and fathers and business owners,
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employees, coaches, mentors, community members, community leaders.
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Giving you conversations, extracting knowledge from my guests like Ray and Tim Tebow and Dave Ramsey and Dan Crenshaw and Ben Shapiro and Jocko and everybody else that we've had on the podcast.
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So it's my goal to bring these conversations to you.
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If you would, please just leave us a rating and review.
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That's another 1,300 people, which is not a lot when you compare it to the amount of listeners that we have.
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It goes a very long way in boosting the visibility and getting this into the minds and hearts of those men who need to hear it.
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Outside of that, just make sure that you are supporting in some way.
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If you've ever got any value, check out our store.
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It is open for enrollment, but only until this Friday.
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You can check that out at orderofman.com slash Iron Council.
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All right, guys, let me introduce you to my guest.
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We met, like I said, years ago through a mutual connection, Bedros Koulian, who's been on the podcast.
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And Ray and I immediately hit it off, probably because we're so alike in many ways.
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We see things very similarly, but also very different in our approach to solving the problems that we both agree on with what we see in society.
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He pulls no punches and in a world of apologists and softies and those who are, well, love to love to be victims and love to see everything wrong.
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I've always appreciated his boldness and candor.
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And the world needs more men who care deeply about the success of other men and young men like Ray does.
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He's made it his life's mission to pour into others and teach them what he knows about being a success as one of the lead instructors for both the modern day night project and also the Squire program.
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And finally, after years and years in the making, have you on the podcast, man.
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I think those few years have been some screening time, sir, making sure I'm calming myself down.
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I knew I knew when I met you that we resonated.
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I will say you're a lot more intense than I am.
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And what I've seen you do with the men that you serve, what I've seen you do with my son and the way he looks up to you and you guys have a personal relationship.
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But tell the guys a little bit about what you do.
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Obviously, you're a big proponent of building men, building young men.
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And honestly, if you look around and just culture today, it's clear to me, I think you would agree.
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If not, let me know that we are void of strong, tough, rugged, individual men that are going to lead us to a place we need to be in society and culture.
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If you were to take 100,000 foot view and then we can get deeper into it is I'm just trying to create a society of stronger and stronger doesn't just mean this.
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It's physically, mentally, emotionally stronger men.
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Now, the question I get all the time is, why don't you train women?
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Both of us have our wives have the same exact name.
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And I've been married next month will be 17 years.
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You know, I as a man, I mean, I but that's just the nature of the beast, me.
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So what I want to do and what I do is I focus on the hardships that I've had.
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And again, I don't mean from a monetary standpoint.
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I've got work with you and a lot of the people that I've really looked up to in the community that are doing the same type of work.
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And what we're trying to do is just we're trying to forge men.
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Boys are savage servants, the double edged sword.
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And what we're trying to do for these young men is we're forging and molding that blade.
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And what really infuriates me, Ryan, is especially with the project.
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But all men, we're pretty much the men that we deal with are on the same frequency and the same things have happened to them.
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And what I tell these men is there's no such thing as a midlife crisis.
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You know, you don't go out and buy a car or leave your family or just do things that are not what, you know, you did when you, like I said, you signed on the dotted line with with that beautiful queen of yours.
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When you took a knee, it's that sword has taken so much damage that it'll still destroy and tear, but it's not razor sharp.
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And what I'm doing with Bedros and everyone else and you, because we do do some things for young men and, you know, we did the uncaged event that, you know, I love that is we are giving these men the tools, the accessibility, the network to resharpen that blade and create growth.
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The physical, mental, emotional, social, spiritual, yes, and financial growth that men need to deal with.
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That's the question, because we deal and expose past and current pain.
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There are six forms of growth, seven forms of pain.
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Now, the pain, physical, mental, emotional, social, spiritual, and financial.
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Wow, that sounds just like the growths, but men, there could also be sexual pain.
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Look it up, one out of every four men in America have been abused in some sexual form.
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It doesn't have to be, you know, the whole thing, but touched inappropriately, spoken inappropriately to, been propositioned by another.
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There are things that happen, but what do men do?
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You and I know this, men, we build up these walls around us, these mental and emotional walls.
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And when men like, you know, pardon my language, lose their shit, right?
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You can only, you can only put so much in that pot before it's going to over, overfill or explode.
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And what I'm doing and what Bedros, and I know what you're doing and all these other, Matt and all these other amazing human beings that are doing things with men and young warriors is, number one, we're telling them, listen, if you've had a horrible and traumatic past, I don't blame you, right?
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But what I've told every single person I've met is I blame you if you don't take action now, right?
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Because most people, there's two types of people.
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I know we say problem makers and problem solvers, but you've got these, these men that are wishing and wanting that it never happened instead of making and taking action on it, you know, accept it, right?
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That's what I tell people, you know, you need to, and if you've had trauma, real trauma that can cause PTSD, you know, as well as I do, does not have to happen on the battlefield.
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There are three battlefields of life, Ryan, the internal, which is your battlefield, the business field and the home field.
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And what we're telling people is to stop wishing and wanting and start making and taking actions, right?
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Accept it, name, claim and tame that animal, whatever it is you've done.
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Accept it, acknowledge it, accept it, and then face it, right?
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So, that's what we're doing in a nutshell without me throwing all my F-bombs around because there is more than just F-bombs with, right?
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And like you said before, I think people misunderstand my message.
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I'm passionate because every day that I get up, I'm grateful and I want to make a difference.
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I have a very special bond with your son who is just what I think.
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If you look at the ideal all-American boy, right?
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The transition video that he put up from where he went from boyhood chunky to lean and mean, right?
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And what's going to happen from that is hopefully he's going to surround himself with young men
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and he is going to be that contagious element that these men want to draw from, right?
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That's why I hang around with people like you and Matt B and Tim Kennedy.
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I'm drawn to people like you, you know, the podcast and get it, you know, the Iron Council and all this because men are seeking this out.
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And it's our job as men to provide that vessel, that portal, that, you know, that rite of passage to these men.
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And that's what I'm going to keep doing, even with the videos that go up and people are like, you know, because, man, I'll tell you, the haters are the haters are out.
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The videos are just a small sampling, just a glimpse.
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It isn't the whole you at all because we've had personal conversations and family conversations and things like this.
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But I am really glad that you talk about because one of the words you used is trauma.
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And I don't you remember in Mexico, we were all there.
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And Bedros shared some thoughts with me very passionately, and I was gracious to hear that.
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It's because I hear so many guys use it, and then they use it as an excuse to what you said, implode.
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Well, everybody's dealt with bullshit in the past, like everybody, to varying degrees, in different ways, but everybody's dealt with it.
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And the frustrating thing that I see, and this isn't an indictment on you or Bedros or anybody else because you're not doing this.
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But I see so many organizations out there who are like, tell me about your trauma.
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And then they just throw themselves pity parties.
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It's like, okay, yeah, all of us have dealt with bullshit.
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And that's one of the things that I really respect about you and Bea and the entire team with what you guys are doing is, yeah, let's talk about it.
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But then let's actually come up with a plan to move forward past it and become better in spite of it.
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Maybe a better word for that is when men show up, you know, I want to know what is, like, I need to know, like, you're never going to know unless you grow.
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That's something I always say in all my courses to the young men.
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And so, you know, as well as I do, like, let's use the Squire program.
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We have, you know, we have stronger father-son combos like you and Breckin that come.
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But then you noticed as well as I did, there were some fathers and sons that didn't have that connection.
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So what I need to do, right, it's almost like I'm a doctor, is I want to dissect the problem.
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And this is what I tell these young men, you know, like, I come from a divorced family.
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That's why I say you can keep wishing and wanting that your parents get back together.
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You know, you can, depending on where you're living or when you're spending time with your mom, you need to be the man of the house.
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The first thing I always say in the Squire program is, like, you know, if I was using Breckin, right?
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And I know, if you're not home, is Breckin the man of the house?
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I know, because I know who his younger brothers are.
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And what these young men need to know is they need to know their role in the family, right?
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They need to know your role, mom's role, and the younger siblings.
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And then when they have an understanding of that, and case in point, I want these young men to know your role, too, Case.
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This is one of the first things I say every time, right?
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If you live, if you have a family that is still together, and I break into your house, Ron, you have a beautiful home.
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If I break into your house, where are your wife and children?
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And then after that, it's, you know, and I'm not going to say all the names of your children, but there needs to be a pecking order in everything that happens.
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And what I need to do is I need to understand what has happened so that we can fix it, because I've been there and done that.
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I've had a lot of horrible things happen to me.
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I've done drugs, and I take full acceptance of it.
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But I also took accountability and said no more, because a lot, like you said, a lot of men, boys, they use it as a crutch and as an excuse.
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And then tell me, you little bastard, what are you going to do to fix it?
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That's why we created that Facebook group page where the young men can get on there and talk, you know?
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Like, somebody tells me, oh, this, this, this, this, and this.
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Do you think you're the only young man this has happened to in America?
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Well, no, stop, stop the pity party and let's figure out how we can create a solution to make you better.
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I, but I love your outlook on this, you know, like, I don't want to hear your pity party, you know?
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Because there, like I said, there's always someone somewhere that it's, that has it worse than you.
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So no matter what you have, you have to be grateful, I think.
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Like, how am I going to compare your life experiences to mine?
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And so I'm not here to judge whether or not it was harder for you than it was for me or vice versa.
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And I just don't want the conversation to stop at, yeah, all this bad stuff happened to me.
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You talked about the hate and, you know, you have a, a, a very bold personality.
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I wish more people were like that because I think generally speaking, the default is passivity.
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And how do you deal with, with the hate that, that you experienced, that you see, that, that you have to deal with on a daily basis?
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Well, I think the hate comes from the unknown because a lot of the haters that like, let's, let's use my latest example.
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Aaron, you know, instructor Aaron posted a video of me on the one wheel talking to these young men crawling on a railroad track for the back.
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Now I know a lot of people aren't going to understand this because they're, they're not narrow and deep.
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Does that make sense with their, with their thought process?
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We make these men crawl through these evolutions because it's going to scratch and tear them up.
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It's that little 0.1%, that one niche that you'll have there.
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I've got a few of me that I'll look at and go, you know what?
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What I was thinking about my wife and my family when I was doing this and that creates, that's breaking the barriers, the mental and emotional barriers.
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There's this, I call it the Mona Lisa of the project.
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We took this picture of me going over and leaning and saying something to Andy Foe, you know, an amazing tattoo artist about his daughter.
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It looked like he was ready to throw in the towel.
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And I just went over and whispered something to him.
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And all of a sudden, he went faster and faster and faster and faster and faster.
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Not only did he graduate the course, he graduated number one.
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I'll use something, but I have to be there with these men for this transformation because I'm the one that's been helping about, you know, Steve and I, you know, onboard these men.
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So I'm riding the one wheel because I literally couldn't put all the weight on my foot.
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That was something I used to do in my life that I've overcome.
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I smoke a cigar for the fallen every time I do a course.
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But I'm not going to sit here and explain myself.
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They see, look at this short, yoked, steroid, tattooed guy up that's riding around on a one wheel yelling at people.
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I would I would I would sit here and justify what I'm doing.
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And then I would put something nasty at the end of it.
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I had a guy that started ripping me apart the other day.
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I don't know who he is, but he's been he has some meanies.
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And I was like, man, I think this is the ranger guy again.
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You rangers made the best ranger panties in the world.
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You're going to sit here and look at me and tell me you don't have haters.
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You know, and the thing is, is what I what I say to people is when they're reaching out
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like that, if you really think about it, Ryan, it's a cry for help.
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To take the time to watch a video that's a minute long and then to give me your opinion
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But that tells me that there is something in their life that they're not happy with.
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And on a different level, they wish that was them crawling.
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And when I whenever I explain myself now, I get two things.
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Making excuses would have been not to show up for that class.
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You know, I had this conversation with Tim Kennedy.
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Tim Kennedy's like, I'm the most hated guy on social media.
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Even Matt, they're like, we get it all the time.
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People will hate you because of one or two reasons.
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Number one, they wish they would have been doing what you're doing.
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Or two, at that deeper level, they hate something about themselves or what's happened to them.
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And they probably wish on a whole different level, right?
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Maybe even that this, they could have been, this would have been offered to them and they could have been fixed.
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And this is what I tell all these haters, you know, mouth and off, you know, being a knuckle dragger, just, you know, yelling.
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And you're basing this off of a one minute video, but you don't know the backstory.
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You know, they always say, don't judge a book by its cover.
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And these are the people that have, you know, like 12 followers and they don't have 12 followers because they don't have a blue check.
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They have 12 followers because that's how they're living their life.
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They don't have a message that they're putting out.
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They're just bitching and whining about things they don't have.
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I love you and keep it up, man, because you guys are fueling my fire and I will never stop doing this.
00:24:39.360
Of course, Trish is writing me right now asking how the podcast is going.
00:24:48.820
I'll offer another another reason there would be quote unquote haters is they just don't see it the same way that you or I might see it.
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And they don't know how to express it in a respectful way.
00:25:02.220
Like I've seen people be borderline hostile towards a thought or an idea or a message that I share.
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And I can either feed into that or just be more mature about it, which I am trying to do.
00:25:16.780
I'm not perfect at that, but I do try to be mature about it.
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I just made a post about abortion and my whole goal with it was like, hey, like, don't be emotionally charged in your responses.
00:25:30.020
You know, like people are going to see it different.
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I mean, look, you've done some what I would say is some hard shit.
00:25:56.660
But if we think about it, it's not hard if we just disengage for a minute and come to the table with with a goal, which is, hey, I'm not going to be emotionally charged.
00:26:08.540
And you would be amazed how many people responded actually very respectful in disagreement.
00:26:16.240
It did a little bit, but not to the degree I thought it would, because I put myself in a different position.
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And if we say it's hard, then it's going to be hard because we're going to sabotage it.
00:26:32.160
Fifty years young, I self-sabotage myself all the time.
00:26:35.640
It's because I want I'm so passionate that I want people to see my message to the point where it's like I used to be like forceful with it.
00:26:44.820
But Bedros and you and I have had conversations offline is, you know, I tell you can only save those who want to be saved.
00:26:57.280
You know, obviously, you and I have the same the same religious background.
00:27:03.300
But I am like a modern day Noah and I've just got a huge arc and I'm bringing as many people on board as I can.
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And and what's so great about me is I have unlimited amount of resources to build the arc bigger and bigger and bigger.
00:27:21.080
The difference between Noah and me is his was only so many square footage.
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I'll take whatever wants to come on board, you know, from anywhere on all walks of life.
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And that's what I think people have a hard time understanding.
00:27:38.100
This is why does this person, this human being, this this what they call the animal want to help so many people?
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Because no one really helped me when I was young.
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And I just, you know, we talk about flipping the switch.
00:27:50.980
I've you know, a lot of times when it's flipping the switch, it's let's be an animal.
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You know, people are like, you know, I would never pay $15,000 to crawl.
00:28:10.700
You're paying for what happens after you graduate the course.
00:28:14.560
Just like the squire, you don't pay $1,900 to just show up there and do an event with your son.
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You're paying $1,900 for what you do after you graduate.
00:28:26.580
Are you going to continue with the drills and the lessons we gave you?
00:28:30.540
Are you going to, you know, get up and journal and get up earlier and attack the hill?
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Are you going to be the man that you that your wife and your children want to be?
00:28:41.560
Are you going to be the man that your son looks up to?
00:28:47.960
You're paying for the accountability because I've called you on a couple of different occasions where, you know, and listen, I'm human.
00:29:01.140
And what's so amazing is having this network, right?
00:29:12.480
And I know everybody can't, but I can call you, Nick, Tim.
00:29:15.300
And 99% of the time, you guys will pick up and say, what's going on?
00:29:20.320
And I can, I can, I don't know if you want to call it venting or bitching, but I'm expressing my feelings on something.
00:29:26.600
And it's nice just to get calibrated and dialed back in.
00:29:37.220
And now here's what I need to do as a man is if I'm going to reach out for that cry of help and help you, I better be willing to take that criticism.
00:29:46.960
That's the thing, because that's what men want a lot of times.
00:29:51.100
Like, they'll call you and say, you know, my wife's not, my wife's not being intimate with me because, you know, the last couple of days I've been drinking, I'll be this.
00:29:58.980
And someone should say, well, it's because you're, you're an a-hole.
00:30:08.960
I was recently at an event with Bedros and Wes Watson.
00:30:20.180
Said, hey, Cash, can you pick us up and hold us like this and take a picture?
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The lady had dressed when I said, hey, I'm going to grab you under your legs, not your buttocks.
00:30:37.440
And I laid down, you know, completely rhyme, man to man, completely harmless.
00:30:43.400
She goes, but would you want a man picking me up like that?
00:30:53.080
I didn't pick one more person up because I don't mind if she puts her arm around people,
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I don't want a man physically picking up my woman.
00:31:01.980
And come to think about it, I don't know the circumstances with the other ladies,
00:31:07.040
but their husbands may not have appreciated that either.
00:31:11.900
So my point is, is sometimes as a man, I learn lessons not only from other men, but from my
00:31:20.020
So case in point, that's why I have a picture of my wife right here.
00:31:24.100
When I do stupid things, I look at that tattoo.
00:31:27.740
I just, I was not, I was shallow and wide when I did that.
00:31:34.040
So I apologized because that's what a real man does.
00:31:39.020
And it won't, I will not be picking people up like that.
00:31:42.780
So that's my point is, is it's, it's, it's always, I'm always learning, right?
00:31:55.140
I'm always trying to grow, man, reading and journaling.
00:32:05.180
You and I have been talking, you know, I know jujitsu and what's been going on with you.
00:32:16.380
So they, they put a, a nerve, I know you've had surgery, so you know all about this, but
00:32:21.060
they put a, like a nerve block through by like right in here.
00:32:24.880
They, they did a, um, like an ultrasound and I saw the, they showed it to me.
00:32:28.980
They, watching the needle go in here and then they just injected that stuff into there.
00:32:36.840
I can move it a little bit today, but for like four days.
00:32:42.140
So it's, it's, uh, we'll see how it goes from there.
00:32:44.960
Nick, Nick just had a, a mass removed from right underneath his pec.
00:32:53.040
I was like, you know what I, and I leaned over at him, you know, cause Nick's been on
00:32:57.120
I leaned over and I said, man, you're getting fat.
00:33:06.640
I just got to hit the pause button on our conversation very quickly.
00:33:09.340
Uh, look guys, you, you don't need to go at life alone.
00:33:17.880
In fact, you shouldn't do that because if you are, I can guarantee that you are leaving
00:33:25.280
If only you were able to tap into a few more frameworks and a network of high caliber men.
00:33:32.700
Some of you, a lot of you probably don't know these types of men or don't have access to
00:33:36.720
these frameworks that I'm talking about, but you can, and you do, it's called the iron
00:33:40.640
council and it's a brotherhood of roughly 1200 men all working together to create objectives
00:33:48.200
and goals and make our visions a reality and become better men.
00:33:52.540
And it's open right now, but it's only open for four more days before we shut it down.
00:33:56.340
So when you band with us again, 1200 men inside the council, you're going to gain immediate
00:34:01.120
access to the brotherhood, the camaraderie, the accountability.
00:34:05.700
These are all the things that I needed when I set out on this path 10 plus years ago that
00:34:12.620
And over seven years, we've been honing and refining and tweaking and adjusting so that
00:34:17.440
we can produce maximum results in my life, of course, but also in the lives of the guys
00:34:23.280
So if you want to take your finances, your family relationships, your fitness, every
00:34:28.140
facet of life to the next level, then head to order a man.com slash iron council.
00:34:35.360
You can watch a very short video and then you can also lock in your spot before we shut
00:34:40.240
So you got to do it quick again, order a man.com slash iron council.
00:34:47.480
You can register right after the podcast for now and get back to it with Ray.
00:34:53.280
Well, I'm glad you're talking about the humility.
00:34:55.200
And I think this comes in line with what you said earlier about that savage servant.
00:34:59.180
You know, I think a lot of the times the messaging that so many men receive in podcasts or social
00:35:05.180
media on YouTube, all these places is be the savage, right?
00:35:10.000
And, and certainly we should, there are times where that's required, but I think more often
00:35:15.160
than not, maybe we ought to focus more on the servant element of it and realize that we should
00:35:20.780
be humble, realize that we should be open to learning new things that we're here to make
00:35:26.740
ourselves savages so that we can serve people more effectively.
00:35:30.800
I think that's a message that needs to be shouted from the rooftops a bit more than it is today.
00:35:35.060
I think there's a misinterpretation of what the word savage, the meaning of it is any servant
00:35:40.140
case in point, we, we, we kind of, uh, I, we digress back to, um, someone breaking into the
00:35:51.980
If I was going to, I'm more scared of auto than anybody else on the planet, your family.
00:35:56.740
So, and this is the, this is this, I actually like to draw a picture for the men as I explained
00:36:04.380
And I want you as men to listen to this, right?
00:36:07.180
You have a family or someone that you care about.
00:36:11.220
You're sitting there, maybe just looking out, you know, looking at, taking the thoughts of
00:36:17.000
Your wife, Trisha, and the kids are sitting there playing.
00:36:25.560
You see me with my fist clenched, you know, situation awareness, right?
00:36:29.020
Because as a man, you're always protecting your flock.
00:36:32.060
And I'm coming at them in an aggressive manner.
00:36:35.440
I know for a fact, you are going to get up and you are going to create dead space between
00:36:41.580
And you are going to, you are going to meet me.
00:36:45.200
That meet and greet is either going to be a physical or a verbal altercation.
00:36:50.340
Depending on what my intents are and how you feel as a man, right?
00:36:54.460
Now, are you doing that because you're a savage?
00:37:03.680
You can't pick the children that you have in this world.
00:37:08.800
Obviously, you're doing the best you can with raising great children.
00:37:13.280
This is what Pedro says, but make no mistake about it, my friend.
00:37:32.560
My wife, true story, was in two bad relationships before me.
00:37:35.800
I had to explain myself to him of why I was worthy to be her husband.
00:37:45.740
But then I got on my knee and I asked her, will you, will you, right?
00:37:54.480
And from there, I took on the role as a servant.
00:37:57.140
My job is to protect her by all means, provide for her, right?
00:38:04.940
So when you're doing this, my message is, I know everybody says, oh, Cashier, the savage.
00:38:12.580
That's why I'm so aggressive with what I do because I want to serve so many because I finally learned how to serve myself because I was guilty of this.
00:38:23.860
And we've, I didn't know my self-worth for too long because of the childhood I had.
00:38:32.680
My mother and I didn't have a great connection.
00:38:40.660
So I didn't know my self-worth, which then entail I self-sabotaged.
00:38:50.820
I can say that now because they're never going to let me back.
00:38:54.000
And Bedros is like, I want you to come and work for me.
00:39:05.180
You have this gift that I want to share with people.
00:39:14.640
I can teach you how to make more money doing something that you have a God-given talent for.
00:39:21.960
You don't have to go overseas and be put in harm's way.
00:39:29.360
And he told me the story about the lion and the sheep, how the lion looked down in the
00:39:34.680
water because he was raised by sheep his whole life.
00:39:44.560
And again, the lion and his pride came down to hunt.
00:39:50.220
And the young cub, the young prince was watching his father.
00:39:53.880
And his father said, watch as the lionesses hunt.
00:39:59.460
And my job is to protect if another lion comes in or another predator.
00:40:04.100
So what happens is in the chaos, the young cub gets lost.
00:40:07.740
So the father looks and looks and searches and he can't find him.
00:40:13.920
But the young, the young boy wasn't, the young cub wasn't dead.
00:40:17.340
He got trampled on by a lioness and he just passed out.
00:40:19.780
Well, he was woken up to by a herd of sheep that took him in as their own.
00:40:26.820
Well, many moons later, that same battle tested, battle proven warrior, the king comes down and the lionesses are attacking.
00:40:36.820
And all of a sudden he sees his blood and he runs up to him and charges him.
00:40:52.560
He goes, look, look at the reflection of you and I.
00:40:59.420
And he says, no, we may look the same, but you were not there for me.
00:41:18.180
Now, the young prince, who's just as big, but he's not as battle proven or tested.
00:41:29.300
And the father literally goes, OK, so he says, walk back with me, son.
00:41:33.840
And as he walks back, the father turns and he bites him in his ass as hard as he can.
00:41:39.460
And that line turns around and goes because he unleashed the beast.
00:41:45.600
And once he did that, it was a magnetic charge where the servant came and he goes.
00:41:50.440
You may be my you may be my father by blood, but I was raised by the sheep.
00:41:58.520
Now, what I learned from there is I kept looking down into and I get emotional about this, the water.
00:42:09.120
Now, the sheep was kicking in doors and doing other things.
00:42:11.000
I was so happy and so content with doing dangerous things.
00:42:14.260
I was I was shallow and wide when you really said I had no depth.
00:42:20.600
Bedros came in and bit me in the ass, literally speaking, right, figuratively.
00:42:39.040
And then I looked at Bedros cooliness at Bedros.
00:42:49.300
Things for our country, we'll leave it at that.
00:42:51.740
There's got I've got I've got to have more depth.
00:42:56.100
Do I still self-sabotage myself from time to time?
00:42:59.900
Bedros coolian literally is the captain of putting me back in the check.
00:43:03.500
Sometimes he does it with positive reinforcement.
00:43:06.060
Sometimes he does it with negative reinforcement.
00:43:08.200
And all I've done, Ryan, is I've taken that same model.
00:43:19.340
The young men roar all day long at the end of the squire.
00:43:22.060
We show them they have so much farther to go, right?
00:43:25.960
But these young warriors, they're not intimidated by that.
00:43:29.320
Or by the time we've explained everything, it usually ends with, oh, my goodness, man, I'm going to say it.
00:43:52.500
Once you accept that you are a vulnerable human being, an animal, that you will allow growth in if you want to let it happen.
00:44:13.220
You will see me yelling and cursing at certain times.
00:44:19.540
I don't use negative reinforcement for these young men.
00:44:22.380
But will I tell them, hey, listen, I know you've got more to do more.
00:44:31.400
And I'm doing this with the approval of the fathers.
00:44:33.660
And then what happens is we're creating these lifelong, he's your son.
00:44:42.120
Even though you and Brecken will always have, and your children, I'm going to talk about the men and the life will have that.
00:44:47.700
As he gets older, it's still a bond, but that's a brotherhood.
00:44:50.680
That is something, because as he gets older and someone breaks into that house, eventually he's going to be beside you.
00:44:57.400
And then as you get older, he's going to step up and be in front of you and protect you.
00:45:03.480
Because that is the cycle of life if you're doing it right.
00:45:07.860
Versus having a shitty relationship with your child, not teaching him, not being a great role model for him.
00:45:26.020
He is going to be equipped to deal with whatever he has surrounded himself with.
00:45:29.520
And usually people like that tend to fall into the wrong elements.
00:45:38.660
I'm going to have to look that up and go through that again.
00:45:41.100
But you said something that I don't know that I agree with on the surface.
00:45:45.440
You said that you were the sheep and that Bedros helped wake you up.
00:45:52.320
But I think from all objective measures, from the outside looking in, Navy SEAL, CIA contractor, all around badass, people would say, no, you weren't the sheep.
00:46:15.980
I would rather kick in the door at night with my nods on, going into the unknown, having to go do a DA or take a target out, which is a direct action.
00:46:23.680
Which means you go in and you have an objective to do, TST, a time, sense of target.
00:46:31.000
If something gets in your way, you have to figure out what has to happen at that time and point.
00:46:39.140
But to get on a call and talk to someone about making a sale or getting out of my comfort zone.
00:46:49.920
I looked like a lion, but the internal was the sheep.
00:46:52.400
All Bedros did is when he bit me in the ass, the symbolism is he released the inner lion.
00:46:59.540
And again, I don't like to use the word salesman because I don't sell anything.
00:47:03.540
I tell a story when I get on the phone with people.
00:47:08.680
I talk and usually people can resonate with that.
00:47:11.780
And I tell people I was a sheep for too long on the inside and now I'm a lion.
00:47:17.260
And now that my internal is equivalent to my external, I honestly believe I have an unstoppable mindset.
00:47:26.600
There's nothing I can't do because I used to overthink the process and underthink what the action was going to be.
00:47:39.320
But, but, but, but, but, but, but, but what if I do this?
00:47:47.960
I was so used to eliminating the problem so fast as a Navy SEAL because I had done so, that had been my whole life.
00:47:56.120
That when I went into business and I realized, or with my family, like if I upset my wife, let's use, let's use my treasure.
00:48:20.060
I have to also be husband and father and realize that I have right now, I have women in the house.
00:48:29.700
And now there are some times where I can, but I pull from these different personalities that I have to get the mission accomplished.
00:48:53.640
Now, you know, people see me with my wife or you'll see like perfect example.
00:48:58.140
People come to the Squire program and they're like, they're hesitant.
00:49:01.480
They're like, I don't want you screaming at my kid.
00:49:07.920
And people are like, but that's all I see on social media because you're seeing something because these men are at a different point in their life.
00:49:15.080
You are doing what a man should be doing right now in your life.
00:49:19.660
And that is you are getting external guidance, right?
00:49:22.380
Because listen, you and I have the same beliefs across the board.
00:49:26.460
I honestly thought for the longest time that you were a little like, oh, I got to feel because that's what like Jason Redman said.
00:49:34.900
I've been wanting to get on your podcast for a few years.
00:49:37.640
He goes, Ryan's probably trying to figure you out, man, because he's super chill.
00:49:53.560
But in my case, the point I'm trying to make is if three of us go into a room and we enter a room and we have an objective, I go in the room and I go, I break right.
00:50:08.900
Even though we didn't see the same things, we accomplish the mission.
00:50:13.940
So I see things sometimes different than other people.
00:50:16.820
But as long as we have the same objective, right, and that's to be better, create like you're doing the same thing.
00:50:23.260
I'm, you know, obviously at a much bigger level, but we're creating a generation of better, better men.
00:50:29.640
And people will pull from my flavor, your flavor, Tim's flavor, Matt's flavor.
00:50:41.680
Like, I would have never thought myself and Brecken would have had the relationship we had.
00:50:52.500
I mean, some men would be like, don't hug my son.
00:51:00.680
And I told him the only way I'm going to be on your podcast, young man, is on my own.
00:51:05.660
I want to sit in the awesome room where you're at.
00:51:08.980
I was like, oh, you know, um, and I said, let's do this.
00:51:13.320
And then afterwards, we're going to break bread because that's what men or lobster, lobster.
00:51:29.120
I'm, I think by default, I'm a bit of an observer.
00:51:32.880
You know, I, I do, I sit back and I observe and I watch and, you know, sometimes I'm intense,
00:51:38.520
but for the most part, I'm watching and seeing and seeing how people behave and trying to
00:51:43.180
And, um, even I'll tell you this, I haven't told you this before, but I saw something
00:51:48.700
Um, I don't want to say maturity and I don't want to, you know, like pander or anything
00:51:54.160
like that, but I saw a level of depth in this last program that we did together up here in
00:52:01.720
And I just wanted to tell you that, that I really respect how you showed up for those
00:52:06.760
And I saw those boys, those young men, that's the better, that's the better word.
00:52:13.080
I saw those young men and the level of respect that they developed for you over a period of,
00:52:21.680
And there was a level of depth that was always there, but even more so this time.
00:52:26.760
And I just, I wanted to tell you that because I've been meaning to tell you that.
00:52:31.220
And, you know, even with your, you, you are, you're more an observer.
00:52:35.960
Um, you know, it's funny, uh, and you're laid back, but when you do speak, it, it, it
00:52:45.180
Like when you give your, your speeches, like everybody, even where, you know, I've heard
00:52:48.740
other instructors talking, I'm doing something, you start talking.
00:52:51.300
And I always, I say, Ryan Mickler's the moth to the flame.
00:52:54.380
People are like, because you have a very empowering message.
00:52:57.800
Um, and I think it's, you, you know, you have a different platform that you speak from,
00:53:05.000
You, you seem like you absorb a lot, you know, you ask, make, and then you take, right.
00:53:09.500
You're asking like from an outside perspective, what's going on with these young men.
00:53:13.740
You, you take that, you take that knowledge in and then you, you just make that presentation.
00:53:19.000
Um, case in point is when we were running the young men to the fathers, remember we split
00:53:26.640
and did that and you, I'm not going to say what it was, but you had a talk right there
00:53:30.700
There were a couple of young men afterwards that were just like, wow.
00:53:34.160
And I was like sitting there right with them going, wow.
00:53:37.120
Because you couldn't have said it at a better time of the process of when it was happening.
00:53:46.440
Versus me just don't come on, you know, because when in doubt I yell, come on, you didn't,
00:53:53.020
You broke it down an octave and you presented it to them on a different level, a different
00:54:00.580
Because communication is transmitting and receiving.
00:54:07.980
You went to a whole different level, even though the frequency was high, the presentation
00:54:13.620
was very monotone and you just know when to accentuate the right words.
00:54:23.720
Like you took off with a guy that we just sat there for a second.
00:54:30.360
You know, and then what happens is that's when they do this.
00:54:33.440
That's what's so key is self-reflection, right?
00:54:38.060
Um, and I told the young man, we could have taken off.
00:54:40.100
I said, I want you guys to take about two minutes, really self-reflect with instructor
00:54:46.060
And I said, I want you to harness that and use that.
00:54:49.220
And a lot of them were like, you know, they weren't off wandering around doing stuff.
00:54:52.880
There were 20 young warriors that literally, I said, take a knee, right?
00:54:59.020
Don't sit on your butts, take an athlete's knee and think about that.
00:55:04.520
And they were like, you know, then the roaring started and we took off.
00:55:07.560
So it was like, it was, you were a very intricate part of flipping that switch for these young
00:55:15.720
You know, it was, you're like silent Bob from, you know, sorry, you come in and just like
00:55:23.260
how many, how many other men are going to, or women are going to bring you lasagna.
00:55:32.160
So, and I think that just comes with, you know, who you are, what you do and you practice
00:55:38.540
I mean, your family is, when I think of America, American apple pie, I'm just like, you know,
00:55:44.380
the Mickler estate, you know, the, the huge, we're trying to live that brother.
00:55:52.100
I'm just, I want to shift gears real quick because you had said something a minute ago
00:55:57.980
and you're talking about the Squire program and you're talking about 1900 bucks.
00:56:03.120
And, you know, a lot of the times I want to talk about investment in ourselves and investment
00:56:08.340
A lot of times we might see a price tag of $2,000 and think, oh, you know, but then if
00:56:14.980
you take that and you spread that out over, let's just for easy math, say 19 years instead
00:56:19.860
of 18 years, that's a hundred dollars that you're going to invest per year into your
00:56:26.700
You know, that's a lot more manageable, but it's always fascinating to me.
00:56:32.000
I get it that people are unwilling to invest in themselves and their people, their wife,
00:56:37.980
their colleagues, their coworkers, their friends, their kids, when what will be returned to
00:56:45.760
Like there's an infinite rate of return on a hundred dollars a year spent and people just
00:56:58.600
But, and, and I couldn't agree with you more, but what will people, let's talk about what
00:57:04.980
And then I'll answer that, uh, get rich, uh, quick schemes over overnight Hollywood diets.
00:57:14.660
People will invest in video games for their children.
00:57:17.520
They'll invest in giving them electronics, which does what takes the emphasis off of
00:57:25.420
Cause they, the kids can sit here and do this all day.
00:57:44.160
You went out, you played and, and, and, and young men did dangerous shit.
00:57:50.420
Um, and I think that's why we're the way we are because every step that we took as a
00:57:55.540
young man out there in the world, we were investing in ourselves versus sitting on my
00:58:00.960
You have the strongest thumbs and the strongest, you know, neck muscle you can to do this in
00:58:09.000
People don't want to invest in themselves and infuriates me.
00:58:14.400
How many, how many times do people invest in doing fast food because it's convenient versus
00:58:24.400
Once a week, someone breaks out a cookbook and we come up with an idea.
00:58:30.300
I'm not, I'm not getting religious, but we pray before we eat.
00:58:40.480
If you're going to invest in something, investing something that is going to be lifelong, because
00:58:47.840
Let's say you do a fasting plan and you lose a whole bunch of weight.
00:58:50.980
If you take it off fast, guess what's going to happen to you to put it right back on.
00:58:54.020
Cause that's what people do, or they want this and they want that, or, Ooh, they'll invent,
00:58:57.920
they'll, they'll go out and buy a fancy car, right?
00:59:01.340
Not worry about interest rates or all this because they're so focused on what they're
00:59:04.220
going to look like in that car, what it's going to bring them.
00:59:12.460
Versus spending the money to create a relationship with your son, which, because here's what happens
00:59:21.340
I'm not saying you're bad dads or fathers out there.
00:59:23.360
I'm just saying the world is a complicated place and everybody's all over the place.
00:59:27.700
Remember before we had all the social media and things, family sat around, we did things
00:59:33.560
That's what you need to invest in breaking, breaking bread with your family, $1,900 to,
00:59:39.840
to create a, a, a, a stronger bond with your son.
00:59:43.840
We had, we had a gentleman, um, and I know this, this has no relevancy, but I want to explain
00:59:48.860
the depth of it, um, the mom remarried, um, someone from another ethnicity, let's leave
01:00:00.240
Um, we did, we did the ice bath and it was pretty, pretty tough.
01:00:04.140
But then when we blindfolded that young man and he's like, son, you got to listen to me.
01:00:10.680
And you see what we walk these, we walk these men through hell, but what we're really doing
01:00:14.720
is we're walking them through life and we're just amplifying what these, you as a father
01:00:19.260
and a dad, whatever the, you know, there's a fathers and dads you as the, the man of the
01:00:23.840
house has been doing with Brecken since the day he was been born, protecting him, guiding
01:00:36.260
When, when the evolution was done, I always tell the fathers, don't let them take blindfold
01:00:42.340
You take it off and when you take it off, that young warrior hugged his stepfather
01:00:50.480
You know, I'm right back there and I won't lie to you, man.
01:00:59.800
And he pulled me over and he said, Ray, I swear.
01:01:04.840
I've been looking for this for three years of my life.
01:01:12.660
Focus on what you're going to do from this happening.
01:01:22.220
We're just, it's kind of doing a self calibration, right?
01:01:26.100
We are getting rid of all the outside extremities in the world.
01:01:32.460
And just focusing on the task at hand, really getting into the right where the metal meets
01:01:37.980
the meat, where the bonds take place, where we've had these young warriors confront their
01:01:43.920
At your course, we had a father who wasn't in the best of shape.
01:01:50.800
We had the, I asked the son, what do you think about that?
01:01:56.800
I want my father to get in better shape so he can be around for my family.
01:02:01.760
I said, what he, his, his wife, you know, you probably don't know this.
01:02:13.740
And she was grateful for what we put those, those men through.
01:02:17.480
And because she's going to see the after effects, right?
01:02:22.360
So what did I make that young man do when his father come back?
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I want you to look at your father and tell him how you feel.
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I said, this is, I said, this is what I promise you.
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I will be far enough away where I can't hear what's said, but I am close enough that if
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your father yells at you, I will literally, as another male role model, and I know that's
01:02:42.140
dangerous territory, I will step in because you as a man should be able to express to another
01:02:48.980
man how you feel as long as it's constructive criticism.
01:02:53.140
You're not going to tell your dad that in front of other men that do, you don't do that.
01:02:56.440
That would be like me coming to your house and telling you how to father.
01:03:01.020
I know you, that ain't going to go well for me.
01:03:02.820
But if I pulled you aside, we were out maybe, you know, smoking a cigar or something and
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said, hey, Ryan, listen, as a father, I noticed a few things.
01:03:14.880
Just please take it as constructive criticism because I think you're an amazing human being
01:03:45.260
They're working out together now, at least what the young man told me.
01:03:49.740
So, yeah, that's what I'm going to continue to do.
01:03:52.300
And that's why I'm going to get on great podcasts like this and come to your amazing events and PT people, physical training and exercising because it's a lifestyle.
01:04:04.680
This is not a, I feel like being a dad or a father today.
01:04:09.960
No, it is like, man, we're open 24 hours a day, man.
01:04:17.220
And listen, there are days I don't want to get up.
01:04:19.060
There are days I don't want to get up, but I signed the dotted line, man.
01:04:30.060
That is a bonding contract for the rest of our lives.
01:04:32.900
And people need to, what's the word I'm looking for?
01:04:38.000
I was trying to think of something more powerful than that, but they do.
01:04:43.440
It can't go away because so many people just give up so easy today.
01:04:50.020
And it's because like when people, when you hear the divorce rates and everything, people
01:04:54.860
A lot of times they're just giving up on themselves.
01:05:06.560
If, if you are surrounding yourself with the right people.
01:05:10.220
And, you know, like I said, like, you know, there are days where, I mean, I'm sure
01:05:13.440
you and Trish Bicker, I mean, we don't get crazy, but there are days where I just
01:05:16.680
like, you'll see this, but you got to remember while you're there, you got to look at those
01:05:25.920
You got, and then what I do is go, there's no one else on earth.
01:05:32.460
You know, Bedros recently just reached out to me and said, Hey Ray, I'm thinking about
01:05:36.320
would you want to do this to make even more money than you're making?
01:05:39.580
And I said, well, would I still be a part of your team the way I'm now?
01:05:41.940
He goes, I'd probably start branching you off by yourself.
01:05:52.580
It's about how you feel, what you're doing, the impact you're making.
01:05:56.060
I've realized that's the first thing that Bedros taught me is he's like, the money will
01:06:00.800
But the more you make, the more you give, you know, as well as I do the shirts, all that
01:06:08.860
I know people go, you know, money doesn't buy happiness.
01:06:14.900
It creates time and opportunity so I can do more things that I want.
01:06:21.480
When I go to the Squire, I don't get paid for that, but damn, it makes me feel good,
01:06:28.520
We're going to go nationwide with this program.
01:06:30.460
Um, my job is to change, impact, and create a new civilization of men who are just bigger,
01:06:45.400
It means mind, body, and soul so that they can become the warriors that I know they were
01:07:04.480
I appreciate everything that you do and everything that you are.
01:07:07.020
And I'm glad we were finally able to make this happen.
01:07:09.140
Like I said, it's been a long time in the works, but man, I'm glad we were able to make
01:07:13.200
I know the guys will be served by, uh, by tuning in and most importantly, applying the things
01:07:18.860
Where do the guys connect with you if they want to learn more about what you're up to?
01:07:21.760
And, and yeah, there's, there's a couple of ways that you can.
01:07:29.360
Um, and you can ask questions on there, like for doing different things, or you can just
01:07:33.580
go to my IG page, um, at Ray cash care, and you can DM me.
01:07:37.600
And this is what I tell every single human being.
01:07:39.640
If you DM me something constructive, you will get a constructive response.
01:07:45.820
If you write something stupid, you're going to get blocked.
01:08:01.200
And I'm, I'm sure that the overwhelming majority of it will be constructive and helpful when
01:08:13.180
My conversation with the one and only Ray cash care.
01:08:15.560
It is my hope that you enjoyed that conversation as much as I always love having conversations
01:08:26.160
And I can tell you from experience, this is a man who really has other men and young men's
01:08:34.980
So make sure you connect with him, shoot him a message on Instagram.
01:08:40.260
And let him know what you thought about the podcast.
01:08:48.800
Take a screenshot, tag Ray, tag myself, let the world know, leave a rating and review.
01:08:53.980
And then, and then again, excuse me, if you want to band with us, these like-minded men
01:08:59.540
who are all on similar missions to improve themselves and their families and finances and
01:09:04.240
health and everything else, then check out the iron council.
01:09:08.580
Order of man.com slash iron council, order of man.com slash iron council.
01:09:15.220
All right, guys, with that said, we'll be back tomorrow and over the coming days and
01:09:19.820
weeks, I will be recovering and recuperating and regaining my energy.
01:09:24.720
It's a little down right now, but I will be regaining that.
01:09:27.120
I can assure you and promise you that I appreciate you sticking with me and I appreciate all the
01:09:31.340
We'll see you guys tomorrow until then take action and become the man you are meant to
01:09:36.360
Thank you for listening to the order of man podcast.
01:09:39.200
You're ready to take charge of your life and be more of the man you were meant to be.
01:09:42.980
We invite you to join the order at quarter of man.com.