Order of Man - Reconciling after Separation, Knowing When to Move On, and How to Coach Mindset Change in Others ｜ ASK ME ANYTHING

00:00:00.040 You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest. Embrace your fears and boldly chart your own path.

00:00:05.860 When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time. Every time.

00:00:10.200 You are not easily deterred or defeated. Rugged. Resilient. Strong.

00:00:15.040 This is your life. This is who you are. This is who you will become.

00:00:19.200 At the end of the day, and after all is said and done, you can call yourself a man.

00:00:24.440 Kip, what's up, man? Great to see you. Glad to be back on the podcast.

00:00:27.260 Yeah, and congratulations on the hunt, man.

00:00:30.000 Thank you. That's awesome.

00:00:30.720 Yeah, we brought it down to the wire.

00:00:34.540 We passed on a smaller bull moose on a Tuesday because we had seen so much action on Monday and Tuesday.

00:00:41.920 So we're like, ah, we'll be fine.

00:00:43.440 And then even on Wednesday morning, we saw a really small bull running with the cow before shooting light.

00:00:48.940 It's just running on the road, but it was before shooting light.

00:00:51.640 So we're like, ah, we'll be fine. No problem.

00:00:53.080 And then Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, we saw maybe four cows, no bulls.

00:01:00.000 So Breckin and I were like, oh, man, we're not going to see anything.

00:01:06.220 We should have shot that bull on Tuesday.

00:01:09.000 And then Saturday, it all came together.

00:01:12.220 Yeah, I was nervous for you when you're like, because I was like, when you first posted a picture of their first bull, I was like, congrats.

00:01:19.400 And then you're like, we passed on that one.

00:01:21.280 I thought, oh, yeah, my personality is like, this is our only chance.

00:01:26.620 Go, you know.

00:01:27.700 Well, that's so that first day.

00:01:29.140 Oh, we are, too.

00:01:31.140 That first day was the first moose that I posted was pretty decent, actually.

00:01:37.600 Yeah.

00:01:38.080 But Breckin wasn't there with me.

00:01:40.620 He had a football game that day.

00:01:43.180 So, yeah.

00:01:44.600 That even makes more sense to wait.

00:01:46.280 Right.

00:01:46.800 He said, if you're going to shoot a state record, shoot it.

00:01:49.540 But if it's anything else, don't.

00:01:51.320 So, I passed on that one.

00:01:52.980 And then on Tuesday, we passed on one together.

00:01:55.100 So, I passed.

00:01:55.740 We passed up two bulls that we could have shot easily.

00:01:59.900 And finally, we got the third time was a charm.

00:02:02.060 So, it worked out.

00:02:03.020 Cool, man.

00:02:03.880 Cool, cool, cool.

00:02:05.100 So, last week, we did a different Ask Me Anything.

00:02:08.600 We released the recording from our live event.

00:02:11.480 So, guys, this week, it's more like your traditional Ask Me Anything where we're fielding questions from members of our exclusive brotherhood, the Iron Council.

00:02:19.480 So, here we go.

00:02:21.660 Let's get after it.

00:02:22.600 Yeah.

00:02:23.020 To learn more about the IC, go to orderofman.com slash ironcouncil.

00:02:27.440 First question, Alex Johnson.

00:02:29.620 We are expecting our first child and I'm beyond excited and, of course, a bundle of nerves.

00:02:34.680 What are some things that you guys did or wish you had done to prepare yourselves for fatherhood?

00:02:41.340 By the way, the IC is an absolute blessing at this time and I am grateful to have it.

00:02:47.500 Well, one of the things that I think is useful that you actually hit on is having other men in your corner who are fathers who have gone through it before.

00:02:55.960 And one of the beautiful things about the Iron Council is we have individual channels and one of them is a fatherhood channel.

00:03:01.460 So, if you're not in that fatherhood channel, make sure you're there because you can ask questions like these and get feedback from the guys and really cater your experience in the Iron Council.

00:03:09.580 So, having men in your corner who have gone through it before is invaluable.

00:03:15.180 Also, I would suggest that you look into or at least consider or have the mindset that your job is to put yourself out of a job.

00:03:22.740 And I don't mean that you're never going to be needed or never wanted or never be around when they graduate or anything like that, but that you're not raising a child, that you're raising an adult.

00:03:32.180 So, somebody who's going to go out into the workforce, go out into the world and be self-sustaining, contribute more than they take out or take away from environments and situations.

00:03:43.160 And I think if you have that mindset, you're going to do things differently than if you're trying to baby and coddle and bubble wrap and shelter this little child not to grow up or not to contribute to society.

00:03:53.860 But I would say even different than the fatherhood thing, you're going to get that down and there's nothing you can do to be completely ready for it.

00:04:00.780 You're going to learn along the way, be open, learn to say sorry, talk to your kids about when you screw up and you will screw up.

00:04:08.180 But I would also say in addition to those things, make sure that you're taking care of yourself and also make sure that you're taking care of your wife.

00:04:14.220 Because it's very, yeah, it's very easy to, at least for me, it was very easy to lose myself and what was going on and then forget that my wife needs time and attention and energy.

00:04:28.760 And she's got this child that she's caring for.

00:04:31.440 And then she's got me as maybe an adult child at times that she's worried about.

00:04:36.620 So, help, do what you can.

00:04:39.200 And I wish I would have done a better job at this, but support around the house, support with logistical planning, support with even if she's a stay-at-home mom, for example, doing chores or errands, things that need to be done for the household so that she can have time to be able to rest and relax and recover.

00:04:59.760 Because she's got a lot going on too, obviously, clearly, more than you do.

00:05:02.640 Yeah, totally.

00:05:04.400 Yeah, the only thing that comes to mind is just take advantage of it, enjoy it.

00:05:08.140 I mean, I, this is such an old guy to say, but like I saw a video of our youngest boy when he was like a few months old the other day.

00:05:17.420 And it's like, I miss it, you know, and that time's gone.

00:05:21.800 So, just be present and embrace it and try to enjoy it and don't let work and these other things like overshadow the importance of the time that you have.

00:05:34.240 Right.

00:05:34.780 Because you won't have that time again with those kids.

00:05:37.200 Yeah, yeah, absolutely.

00:05:40.660 All right, Frederick Butcher, or Bocher, a friend called and told me he's separated from his wife right now.

00:05:47.320 He said that they are planning on reconciliation, reconciliation, sorry.

00:05:53.300 In the course of our conversation, I told him to read No More Mr. Nice Guy.

00:05:57.260 Then I thought Sovereignty would be good.

00:05:59.700 I posted to my battle team about someone recommended on F Yourself.

00:06:05.460 What books would you guys recommend?

00:06:09.020 Yeah, I think those are all really good books.

00:06:12.240 I've read all of them.

00:06:13.180 I would also read another one to add there is Wild at Heart by John Eldridge because it helps you understand masculinity and manliness.

00:06:21.240 That book was instrumental in my life.

00:06:23.060 So, I don't know if I'd give you a better list of books necessarily.

00:06:27.020 Extreme Ownership, if you haven't read that, because there's clearly a lot of things that have broken down in the relationship.

00:06:33.600 And a lot of it is your fault or your friend's fault.

00:06:37.800 And a lot of it is his wife's fault.

00:06:40.760 It goes both ways.

00:06:41.940 It takes two to tango.

00:06:43.160 But there's only one person that your friend can take responsibility for, and that's himself.

00:06:48.820 And when you change, people respond negatively and positively.

00:06:52.340 If you change for the worse, people are going to respond negatively.

00:06:54.760 If you change for the better, people are going to respond positively.

00:06:57.580 Now, it doesn't mean things are going to happen the way that you want.

00:06:59.880 It doesn't always mean just because you're changing and trying to get better and improve that there is going to be reconciliation or that you are going to get what you want from other people.

00:07:08.040 They have a say in the matter, but your life, that's the only play that you have really.

00:07:13.420 Because what's the alternative is just to continue to do what you're currently doing and hope by some miracle something works out.

00:07:22.160 Well, you might as well improve.

00:07:23.480 And if you improve, either she'll respond to that and you guys will be able to reconcile or your friend and his wife will, or maybe she won't.

00:07:33.540 And down the road, whether it's two years or five years or 10 years or whatever it might be, when he's in another relationship, he's going to be better for it.

00:07:42.100 And that relationship is going to be better because he took the right path, which is responsibility.

00:07:47.360 I mean, you've been through it, Kip.

00:07:48.200 You and I have had a lot of conversations about this.

00:07:50.020 When you took responsibility, that's when things began to change for you.

00:07:54.520 Totally.

00:07:55.160 Totally.

00:07:55.480 And you didn't reconcile with your wife.

00:07:57.640 But things worked out, right?

00:08:00.500 Very nicely, I might say, from my perspective.

00:08:02.800 Totally.

00:08:03.640 Well, and it's interesting because you're saying, what's the alternative?

00:08:08.580 But what we also hold on to is this idea, well, you know, I'm going to show up in a way that will manipulate and try to coerce and change, you know, the other individual.

00:08:21.340 But that's not the right type of change you want anyway, right?

00:08:25.480 Like, yeah, for sure.

00:08:26.600 There's certain things that I could possibly do to get my wife to show up differently. 0.93

00:08:30.760 But then she's going to resent me.

00:08:32.960 She's going to despise me.

00:08:34.720 Like, you don't even want that type anyway, right?

00:08:38.340 And so, even if you are able to pull off some, you know, change on their behalf, that's not the change that you typically want.

00:08:47.340 Because they got to make those decisions on their own.

00:08:50.100 And that's just going to be from a more powerful position.

00:08:53.600 Well, there's a lot in a relationship that you could do.

00:08:56.740 You know, you think about even, I don't know what your financial situation is.

00:08:59.940 But if you're a primary breadwinner, you could hold that little money chip, that money card over her.

00:09:04.940 Hey, you know, I got the money, so you got to stick around.

00:09:07.280 Okay, well, you're going to, you might get some compliance in that, right?

00:09:10.740 Yeah.

00:09:11.320 But do you have commitment?

00:09:12.540 No, you don't.

00:09:14.220 And it will be okay for a little while.

00:09:16.540 And then you'll go back into old patterns.

00:09:18.280 And there's more resentment, like you were saying.

00:09:20.600 And then it will only get worse and worse and worse.

00:09:23.000 So, yeah, that manipulation is a hard one.

00:09:25.620 That's actually one I fall into quite a bit.

00:09:27.340 And I don't even realize I'm doing it.

00:09:29.840 That's the trick, is you don't even realize you're doing it.

00:09:32.160 But you really have to, I say you, but I really have to dig deeper into my motives of why I show up the way I do.

00:09:40.760 Like, am I saying this thing to my wife or to my children or even to you guys listening because it's the right thing to say and the right thing to do and the right mindset or what I truly believe?

00:09:50.640 Or am I saying it so that I'll elicit some sort of reaction or response from you that I've already predetermined what it, quote unquote, should be?

00:09:58.420 Totally.

00:09:58.880 It's hard to spot.

00:09:59.860 It's really, really hard to spot.

00:10:01.380 But it is there.

00:10:02.220 And you got to be really careful of that.

00:10:04.420 I think the best thing to do, this doesn't even answer the question because you're just asking about books.

00:10:08.820 But I think the best thing to do, not just with relationships, but life is doing the right thing because it's the right thing to do and then letting the chips fall where they may.

00:10:19.800 And that sucks because the chips falling where they may don't always fall where you want them to.

00:10:25.180 So, yeah, yeah, totally.

00:10:29.340 Yeah, that's where I always, you know, we've had conversations in the past about Green's book, 48 Laws of Power, right? 0.59

00:10:36.580 And people lose their crap over it because like, this book's so manipulative.

00:10:43.440 And my stance on that has always been like, you don't think you're doing the majority of these things all the time anyway. 0.97

00:10:50.620 Right.

00:10:50.740 As well recognize what's happening.

00:10:52.500 Exactly. 0.97

00:10:52.980 Anyone that reads that book and goes, oh, this is so wrong and doesn't internalize and realize they're actually doing a lot of those things subconsciously is a fool because we're doing those things all the time. 0.97

00:11:04.360 All the time. 0.96

00:11:04.800 So, it's really good to know, you know, how human nature is, right?

00:11:09.360 And how you show up in some of those things that we naturally kind of do.

00:11:12.800 I think a good litmus test to know if you're manipulating other people or not is to ask yourself if you would do or say the same thing if you got the exact opposite response of what you wanted.

00:11:23.960 Hmm.

00:11:25.180 Yeah.

00:11:25.900 Yeah.

00:11:26.220 I like that.

00:11:27.400 So, take this situation with your wife.

00:11:30.680 Would you do what you're doing right now, whether it's trying to beg or plea or whatever you're doing, would you do it right now if you knew with 100% certainty that she was leaving tomorrow?

00:11:43.280 If the answer is, yeah, I would still do that, then you're probably not being manipulative.

00:11:46.960 That's probably actually you.

00:11:49.420 Yeah.

00:11:49.860 But if you change your tune, then you're just playing the game.

00:11:54.300 Right.

00:11:55.100 Which, I mean, there is something to be said for that in some cases, you know, but you can't lose yourself in the moment.

00:12:00.940 I think about maybe it's a client relationship and a client wants you to bump them ahead of other people.

00:12:08.580 Well, you know, depending on the client and the thing, there might be reasons to do that.

00:12:12.840 And I don't think that sacrifices your boundaries or who you actually are as a person.

00:12:20.600 If it's changing that, that's a problem.

00:12:24.200 But there are some reasons why you would do some of those things.

00:12:26.960 So, it's not a hard and fast rule.

00:12:28.360 It's just a good litmus test to see where you stand.

00:12:31.300 Totally.

00:12:31.720 Totally.

00:12:32.440 You know what?

00:12:34.160 The original question was books.

00:12:36.360 The five love languages I would add to the list.

00:12:38.900 And then one other book that comes to mind that I think was profound for me was, I think it's called Letting Go.

00:12:45.780 I'll look it up here and come from the author.

00:12:48.120 But really, it's premised on the idea that like, how do I say this?

00:12:55.300 There was a major breakthrough for me during my divorce when I went from this kind of manipulation and what I wanted versus what she wanted versus just letting go and wishing the best for her, agnostic of how it benefited me.

00:13:15.460 Right.

00:13:16.280 Right.

00:13:16.620 And once I got to that point, it was like, you know what?

00:13:20.540 I could actually love her and it wasn't about what I was going to benefit from.

00:13:25.420 And it really allowed me to get pure in my intent.

00:13:29.320 I like that.

00:13:30.080 Is it Letting Go, The Pathway of Surrender by David Hawkins?

00:13:34.320 Yes.

00:13:35.280 Okay.

00:13:35.760 Yes.

00:13:36.520 Old book.

00:13:36.940 So, there it is.

00:13:37.900 I haven't read that one.

00:13:38.880 I'm very interested in that.

00:13:39.660 It says, A Powerful Mechanism to Help You Surrender Anything Holding You Back on Your Path to Enlightenment and Find Fulfillment, Truth, and Spiritual Growth.

00:13:48.180 And it says here, the primary aim was, oh, during his psychiatric practice, the author's primary aim was to seek the most effective ways to alleviate, excuse me, relieve human suffering in all of its many forms.

00:14:04.440 Because the inner mechanism of surrender was found to be of great practical benefit and is described in this book.

00:14:09.460 And then it goes on a little bit more.

00:14:10.520 Yeah.

00:14:11.020 The mechanism of surrender.

00:14:12.460 It's interesting.

00:14:13.240 And I don't remember him actually.

00:14:15.000 I don't remember if it actually even has to do, like he even talks about divorce or marriage or anything.

00:14:21.360 But that's kind of what I got out of it was there's power in just things are what they are.

00:14:27.260 Right.

00:14:27.560 And actually just let go and deal in reality.

00:14:30.060 Right.

00:14:30.200 It's just like John Gary Bishop, right?

00:14:33.460 When he talks about expectations, right?

00:14:35.360 It's like deal in reality.

00:14:36.760 Let go of those expectations of what should or should not be.

00:14:40.280 Kind of that same concept.

00:14:41.860 Yeah.

00:14:42.460 All right.

00:14:43.280 I like it.

00:14:43.900 Chris Davis.

00:14:45.160 I lost my dad Tuesday.

00:14:47.220 Sorry, Chris.

00:14:48.200 Oh, rough.

00:14:49.420 He was 83 and suffered from dementia for several years.

00:14:54.180 Fortunately, he died in his sleep after having a nice dinner and taking a nap in his favorite chair.

00:14:58.400 I know Ryan lost his dad and would like to know he would be able to share anything that helped him get through the loss.

00:15:05.540 Like Ryan, I wasn't able to say goodbye to him.

00:15:09.720 I don't know if I'm the best person to answer this question.

00:15:12.820 And I'll tell you why.

00:15:13.740 I tend to be somebody who can bury pretty well.

00:15:19.180 And I did where it's like the pain of that.

00:15:22.360 And there's a lot of pain.

00:15:23.160 I still have a lot of regret from that.

00:15:24.920 My own personal regret that I didn't.

00:15:28.660 I wasn't as good a son as I could have been.

00:15:31.180 And that's to say nothing about the way he showed up as a father.

00:15:34.000 Good, bad and different.

00:15:34.920 None of that.

00:15:35.420 It's just I wasn't as good a son as I could be.

00:15:37.320 And I wish I would have been.

00:15:39.760 But now I don't have that opportunity.

00:15:42.500 But man, I don't know.

00:15:48.020 I don't know.

00:15:48.840 I wish I could have a better answer and give you a really good, solid answer to what.

00:15:54.760 I just say that it takes time.

00:15:57.500 Remember the memories that you have.

00:15:59.540 Think about those.

00:16:00.320 Cry. 0.75

00:16:00.880 It's okay to cry.

00:16:02.100 It's okay to let and express those feelings.

00:16:03.620 I think with grief, a lot of us won't.

00:16:05.440 I try not to.

00:16:06.620 I try to bottle it up and not cry and be emotional. 1.00

00:16:09.360 And I'm not saying be a blabbering idiot in front of everybody, but maybe just go out 1.00

00:16:12.940 into the woods and just cry. 1.00

00:16:15.920 Jason Wilson has a great book called Cry Like a Man.

00:16:18.620 And he's somebody I really admire and respect.

00:16:20.640 And there's a lot of positive benefit of letting out negativity and toxicity through tears,

00:16:27.260 actually, and through that process.

00:16:29.360 So I would say grieve and do that and find the space to be able to do that.

00:16:35.440 And that's it, man.

00:16:37.520 I mean, the hard part about death and loss is it just takes time to get over.

00:16:41.120 And if you're like me, you want it to happen quickly.

00:16:43.000 And it sometimes just doesn't.

00:16:45.200 And I'm sorry for your loss.

00:16:46.200 I was listening to Jocko podcast a few years ago.

00:16:53.740 I don't remember the app.

00:16:55.200 If you search like how to deal with loss of life or dealing with the loss of a loved one,

00:16:59.920 you'll find probably a video on YouTube around it.

00:17:04.340 But Jocko explains it like, you know, waves crashing, you know, and sometimes those sets,

00:17:10.040 the time between sets will be, you know, more distance and there'll be more time in between

00:17:16.100 the sets, but you don't determine when those sets come, you know what I mean?

00:17:20.720 And with the loss of my dad earlier this year, it was amazing what would trigger.

00:17:29.840 All it'd have to do is like, my son would be like, I got blue eyes, like grandpa farmer.

00:17:36.300 And I would just like start crying.

00:17:39.080 You know what I mean?

00:17:39.940 Or, you know, or I actually remember when probably a couple of weeks before he died,

00:17:44.760 when I felt like it was like, it's probably going to happen.

00:17:47.860 You know what I mean?

00:17:49.480 My kids prayed for him.

00:17:51.160 You know what I mean?

00:17:51.680 And I was, I remember telling my wife, like, I'm not ready, you know, I'm not ready for

00:17:55.480 this.

00:17:56.400 And so, but I think there's huge value in just focusing on one being okay to grief about

00:18:05.000 it, but to like honor, honor him by knowing him, you know, and, and one thing that's crossed

00:18:13.580 my mind and I'd love to take credit for it, but as at church, and then we were talking about

00:18:17.380 genealogy and our ancestors and understanding.

00:18:20.940 And I, and I felt like, well, you know, it was immediate to go like, oh, I should have

00:18:25.860 had these conversations with my dad and blah, blah, blah.

00:18:28.180 And then I thought, wait a second, how many uncles do I have that are still alive?

00:18:32.920 Like I could call my uncle Roger and say, Hey, let's go to lunch.

00:18:36.440 Can you just, can we spend the next hour and just talk about dad and, and get to know him

00:18:42.640 from the perspective of his little, when they were little, what kind of guy he was when

00:18:47.320 he was a kid just to, and I think there's a sense of honor and respect by understanding

00:18:52.120 who he was, whether, whether good, bad or indifferent, right.

00:18:56.780 And just kind of understanding the individual that he was.

00:18:59.240 And so anyhow, so that's on my docket, right.

00:19:02.720 To call my uncle Roger and take him out to lunch and just say, Hey, can we just talk about

00:19:07.060 my dad for the next hour?

00:19:08.120 Just so I could get to know him a little bit more in a, in a space that I never, unfortunately,

00:19:14.100 you know, got to know him right in that way, you know, and his childhood and how he showed

00:19:19.160 up in the world.

00:19:19.680 So, um, but let's find that Jocko podcast.

00:19:23.960 It, he, the way he talks about it is really powerful.

00:19:26.800 And I shared that with a handful of people and it's, it's beneficial.

00:19:30.380 Awesome.

00:19:31.280 I like it.

00:19:32.000 Cool.

00:19:32.200 So Greg, uh, Eckert, what are your top ways to invest in our, in your company to generate

00:19:39.700 more cashflow?

00:19:40.800 I'm an owner operator of a plumbing company.

00:19:45.120 Marketing.

00:19:47.240 I mean, that's really, I would say marketing, maybe research and development, uh, maybe business

00:19:54.740 acquisition.

00:19:56.300 Yeah.

00:19:57.320 I would say those are the three areas.

00:19:58.920 So if you can learn to market better or run Facebook ads better or implement a new, uh,

00:20:03.900 element of marketing, that's going to generate revenue for you for sure.

00:20:07.000 Especially if you're not using social media and you learn how to use that effectively,

00:20:10.000 especially he said plumbing.

00:20:12.300 Yes, sir.

00:20:13.160 I mean, you could be hilarious in plumbing.

00:20:15.280 Like you could be hilarious.

00:20:16.080 And if you can do that in a funny, hilarious way and not take yourself so seriously, social

00:20:21.560 media would blow up for you.

00:20:23.160 Uh, you know, think about Geico, what Geico did to the auto insurance industry.

00:20:26.540 It's like the auto insurance, such a boring thing.

00:20:29.460 And yet Geico, I think it was Geico who kind of kicked it off.

00:20:32.720 And now you see Liberty Mutual with the EMU and other companies kind of doing their thing,

00:20:36.500 but it's pretty amazing what they've done from a marketing perspective and think about

00:20:41.260 how much revenue that's generated.

00:20:42.780 Uh, the other thing I would say when I said research and development or new products or

00:20:46.300 something is maybe there's some proprietary tool that you've developed or system or procedure,

00:20:52.340 uh, that, that you can do something for maybe half the price or half the time and you save

00:20:57.320 businesses or households or whatever.

00:20:59.580 But there's, if there's something you can develop and then market and brand that that's

00:21:04.540 one.

00:21:04.780 And then the third is going and potentially even buying up smaller, uh, plumbing companies

00:21:10.040 that are looking to retire potentially, or they're struggling and they don't know how

00:21:14.040 to run the day-to-day operations, or maybe they're great with the day-to-day operations,

00:21:17.560 actually the plumbing portion of it, but not so good with the business managerial portion

00:21:21.980 of it.

00:21:22.540 And maybe you're really good at that.

00:21:23.980 So you can come in and buy that company, retain those individuals as highly paid, uh,

00:21:29.520 employees and consultants.

00:21:32.540 And now you have, you know, an extra million dollars of, of business revenue or whatever,

00:21:38.340 whatever that might look like.

00:21:39.280 So I would say that's where I would invest in a business.

00:21:42.420 Yeah.

00:21:42.800 And it depends on like why you're, what, like why generate more cashflow, right?

00:21:46.480 Is it consistent cashflow?

00:21:49.660 You know what I mean?

00:21:50.420 Or is it all up just more cashflow?

00:21:52.080 I mean, Greg, uh, just a couple of things that crossed my mind.

00:21:54.520 And obviously this is not my industry, but like B2B, right?

00:21:57.480 Like is, is there a play that you could focus on working with, um, landlords in corporate

00:22:06.520 offices and you're an on-call maintenance and support for multiple office buildings as a

00:22:13.180 plumber and you get that into a six month contract where you have resources on call to provide

00:22:18.420 services on the commercial side, right?

00:22:20.460 Like whenever I think about businesses, I immediately think residential is they're, they're

00:22:25.600 cheap and companies are not.

00:22:27.780 So, you know, is there some play where you could work with different companies and provide

00:22:33.120 plumbing services for them?

00:22:35.040 Um, and they get that into like a monthly, uh, contract basis to generate consistent

00:22:39.940 cashflow.

00:22:40.400 I don't know.

00:22:41.040 Right.

00:22:41.460 Yeah.

00:22:42.160 Yeah.

00:22:42.600 I like it.

00:22:43.300 All right.

00:22:44.080 Uh, Richard Bedwell, I am new to the IC and I'm starting to see how far of a road I have

00:22:49.500 before me.

00:22:50.260 And it is quite daunting.

00:22:52.460 Do you have any recommendations to help me get through this initial shock of thinking

00:22:57.040 so I can continue doing what I know I need to do?

00:23:00.700 Yeah.

00:23:01.080 You actually don't really have as far to go as you think you have to get to tomorrow

00:23:05.560 and you have to be a little better tomorrow than you were today.

00:23:07.740 That's it.

00:23:08.700 That's really it.

00:23:09.720 Like, I'd rather you think about it like that.

00:23:11.920 Cause what, what, like, what are you trying to get to the, the analogy I've used is going

00:23:16.280 on a hike and you see a peak and you're like, I want to get to that peak.

00:23:18.880 What happens when you get to that peak?

00:23:21.180 It's usually a false peak unless you know, like, unless you know the mountain, right.

00:23:26.400 And so you get to the top, you're like, oh crap, that's the peak.

00:23:28.800 I didn't even see it down from where I was.

00:23:30.520 Right.

00:23:30.820 You didn't have that perspective, but now that you're at a different peak, a different

00:23:34.540 elevation, you have a new perspective of what is possible.

00:23:37.780 So you don't even really know what your final goal is.

00:23:40.860 Nobody does.

00:23:41.720 People say reach your full potential.

00:23:43.540 What does that even mean?

00:23:44.920 Like, when do you know that you've reached your full potential?

00:23:48.020 You never reach it.

00:23:49.260 Cause it's not like a gas tank where you go to the gas tank and you fill it up and you're

00:23:52.660 on empty and you fill it up and it gets to full and you're like, good.

00:23:55.200 Now it's full.

00:23:56.860 No, it's not a gas tank.

00:23:59.740 It's an ever-growing gas tank.

00:24:01.860 If you want to look at it like that, when you get it to full, then there's a little bit

00:24:05.840 more like the gas tank grows.

00:24:07.420 Cause now you have new skills, new mindsets, new networks, new connections, new investment

00:24:14.720 opportunities, new resources that you can use to invest.

00:24:17.880 And so the gas tank grows.

00:24:20.220 But the reason I bring it up is it seems overwhelming when you have to go to the gas pump and you

00:24:24.560 got to put in $130 worth of gas cause you're on empty.

00:24:27.380 That seems overwhelming, especially now with by inflation.

00:24:30.920 Okay.

00:24:31.880 That's overwhelming.

00:24:32.720 That's frustrating.

00:24:33.320 But if instead you said, you know, here I am on empty and really all I need to do is

00:24:37.560 make sure there's a eighth of a, uh, uh, eighth of gas in the tank and that'll get me by.

00:24:43.500 And then from there, what's next, what's next, what's next, what's next, what's next.

00:24:47.100 So what I would suggest to you is looking at the 90 day battle plan, which is what we use

00:24:50.980 and breaking it down into four objectives by December.

00:24:55.680 What are the four things you want to do?

00:24:57.240 That's not daunting.

00:24:59.580 And I'm not telling you what those four things are.

00:25:01.720 You decide those for yourself.

00:25:03.140 Maybe it's a one on a difficulty level.

00:25:05.200 Cause that's where you're at.

00:25:05.980 Or maybe it's a 99 on a difficult level because that's where you're at.

00:25:09.400 I don't know, but just what can, what four things can you accomplish over the next 90 days?

00:25:15.220 Maybe there's, um, a course that you want to take or some sort of devotional course that

00:25:20.400 you want to take on spirituality.

00:25:22.100 And so you can do that.

00:25:23.520 Well, maybe you want to, uh, maybe you want to do some therapy for the next 90 days.

00:25:28.420 You're like, Hey, I've got some anger issues.

00:25:30.120 I've got some resentment issues.

00:25:31.760 Um, I'd like to work through that.

00:25:33.520 And so you hire a therapist and over 90 days, you have 12 therapy sessions and that's going

00:25:39.340 to move the needle.

00:25:40.620 Uh, maybe you want to run a marathon in December that, that could be your, your condition objective.

00:25:47.960 Uh, maybe you want to coach a sports team, maybe the basketball team for your kid, for

00:25:54.020 your daughter or your son, you want to coach their team so you can have a deeper connection

00:25:57.120 with them.

00:25:57.800 Okay.

00:25:57.980 You can do that in the next quarter.

00:25:59.940 And then maybe there's a, uh, a program or a course or an email series or something that

00:26:05.620 you can take on business so that you can grow your business.

00:26:08.660 Like the plumber just asked, maybe there's a Facebook marketing course you can take and

00:26:13.180 learn more about.

00:26:14.020 And so that you know how to hire and who to hire to help you run those ads.

00:26:17.440 You can do that 90 days.

00:26:19.340 And that's not overwhelming.

00:26:20.540 That's why we do it like that.

00:26:21.480 And then when that time ends, you look at what you accomplished and you look at what

00:26:25.460 you didn't accomplish and then you recalibrate it.

00:26:27.860 So you're looking at it and you're like, okay, well, uh, I need, I need to adjust.

00:26:31.820 And so you, you pivot and you make your adjustments where, where you need to.

00:26:35.800 So don't get overwhelmed.

00:26:38.060 Just find something that pushes you, but inspires you, but doesn't deflate you because it seems

00:26:44.060 too overwhelming.

00:26:45.780 Yeah.

00:26:46.180 Derek Cripe, what are some markers that y'all use to know when it's time to part ways with

00:26:51.920 an organization, especially when you're in a leadership role?

00:26:55.400 I led a team of 15 guys recently left a power line contractor due to what I saw were, or,

00:27:01.700 you know, reconcilable differences between how I needed to lead the team well and how management

00:27:07.840 wanted to squeeze every last cent out of their margins.

00:27:10.740 If, even if it meant putting these guys in undue risk, my guys are profitable.

00:27:16.180 Completing projects with a 20 to 40% profit margin when industry standards are eight to

00:27:20.740 15.

00:27:21.440 My guys were safe with no injuries and the, and the culture where anyone could and would

00:27:27.220 call each other out.

00:27:28.520 If an individual is getting lax or could step back and offer suggestions where we needed

00:27:33.160 to tighten our game.

00:27:35.060 I'm in, I'm the end.

00:27:37.120 I, I'm the end.

00:27:38.720 I, I don't know.

00:27:39.400 Along with some guys that I, I have been training to move up.

00:27:43.040 We're passed over for a yes, men.

00:27:45.100 Ultimately the company was at odds with its own values and mission statement and asking

00:27:49.360 me to compromise my own values and vision.

00:27:51.460 And I decided the best to move on and down to a different road.

00:27:54.540 I don't regret my decision in the last, in the least, but I'm curious if, and what kind

00:27:59.260 of parameters y'all have used to know when it's time to part ways.

00:28:03.380 Yeah.

00:28:03.520 I mean, that was like, you knew what you had to do.

00:28:06.340 And it sounds like I didn't know you did it already.

00:28:08.720 I was going to say, look, why are you trying to convince that you need to leave?

00:28:12.860 You're trying to convince yourself or you're trying to convince us, but it sounds like

00:28:16.100 you, you pulled the trigger on that.

00:28:17.920 Yeah.

00:28:18.240 I mean, a couple of general markers.

00:28:19.620 I mean, you saw a lot of writing on the wall that your, your team was at, was that

00:28:23.620 risk?

00:28:23.960 I don't know what kind of risk.

00:28:24.920 I don't know if it was like personal safety or something, but they were at risk.

00:28:27.780 Yeah.

00:28:27.920 Probably.

00:28:28.400 I mean, if they're linemen probably say risk, right.

00:28:30.900 Right.

00:28:31.160 Working too hard.

00:28:31.980 So that's a, that's definitely a term that I wouldn't, I mean, and that's the thing I

00:28:36.500 would suggest to you is come up with your terms.

00:28:38.280 Like, what is it that, what, where is the line?

00:28:40.960 Well, the line is, I'm not going to put my guys at unnecessary risk.

00:28:44.240 And if they step over that line, then I'm going to quit.

00:28:47.820 Okay.

00:28:48.260 Like figure that out right now.

00:28:51.820 If it compromises integrity, maybe it's financial integrity.

00:28:55.960 You mentioned that a little bit.

00:28:57.100 Is that a term?

00:28:58.260 Is that, is that a hard and fast rule?

00:28:59.840 If it is, then that that's where it needs to be.

00:29:02.700 Another term that I would have is when I'm no longer interested in it.

00:29:07.480 If I'm no longer interested in doing the thing, life's too short.

00:29:11.780 And I'm not saying like the day-to-day operations.

00:29:14.140 Sometimes like, I don't want to send some emails.

00:29:16.020 That's not what I'm talking about.

00:29:17.640 I'm talking about your heart is no longer in the thing.

00:29:20.620 That would be a rule.

00:29:21.880 Another rule.

00:29:22.580 And I actually think that this would fall into line with personal safety, especially in

00:29:25.560 your line of work is if you're not qualified to do the job, don't do the job.

00:29:29.820 Right?

00:29:31.600 Like if you can't, if you don't have the qualifications to do it, then you should not be doing that

00:29:36.760 job, especially if it's going to put other people at physical risk.

00:29:41.180 But at the, at the, at the root of what I'm saying is figure out what your baseline terms

00:29:46.100 are now today, and then know what the consequences of stepping over those terms are.

00:29:51.300 It may be quit termination, but you need to figure that out.

00:29:55.040 Now you need to decide what that is.

00:29:56.420 But those are markers that I would use integrity issues, personal safety issues.

00:30:00.600 My heart's no longer in it.

00:30:02.100 And if I'm not, if I genuinely am not qualified to do the work.

00:30:06.800 Yeah, totally.

00:30:07.360 And, and I think the only thing I'd add is like when your heart's not in it, I mean, maybe

00:30:11.340 you might need to break that down a little bit.

00:30:13.460 Right.

00:30:13.760 It's like, what, what do I need autonomy in my job?

00:30:17.440 Right.

00:30:17.720 Or do I, I don't feel like I'm getting the support I need, like get clear on what a fulfillment

00:30:23.760 looks like.

00:30:24.480 If you, if you hop online, you do a search for intrinsic motivators or intrinsic needs,

00:30:29.000 you'll kind of get a feel of what your, what I call your corporate love languages and, and

00:30:34.940 see if that's available to you in that environment.

00:30:37.220 And it just may not be a good fit, right?

00:30:39.200 If, if Ryan, if you were a micromanager and I'm helping you in the IC, I'd probably be

00:30:44.460 like, yeah, you know what?

00:30:45.380 I love what we're doing here.

00:30:47.240 I love everything, but this is just not how I operate.

00:30:49.860 Right.

00:30:50.240 And you might be like, well, Kip, this is how I operate.

00:30:53.180 Okay.

00:30:53.500 Well then that's okay.

00:30:54.600 It's not a good fit for us.

00:30:56.000 And so, but get kind of clear on what that looks like as well, because it might be a little

00:30:59.760 bit more soft where people find fulfillment in their jobs.

00:31:02.980 And those would be your intrinsic needs or quote unquote, intrinsic motivators.

00:31:08.240 I would also, I like that.

00:31:09.220 I would also say that if you don't have what you want, you're in a job and you don't have

00:31:13.080 what you want.

00:31:13.680 Don't just walk.

00:31:15.100 Yeah.

00:31:15.540 Ask for it.

00:31:16.160 Yeah.

00:31:16.740 Ask for it or build it or develop it or create it.

00:31:20.060 There's opportunities there.

00:31:21.680 And maybe you can be that guy for catalyst for change.

00:31:23.980 Do that first before you just walk. 1.00

00:31:25.540 Cause a lot of times people are, oh, my boss is an asshole. 1.00

00:31:28.060 Well, did you talk to him about the issues you had? 1.00

00:31:30.720 No, he wouldn't understand.

00:31:32.340 He would, he would, he did this, he, that, but yeah.

00:31:34.380 But did you do anything about it?

00:31:36.180 No, he just, he, he would never allow that.

00:31:38.920 Okay.

00:31:39.980 Like you're presuming it's just not a manly behavior.

00:31:44.340 It really is.

00:31:45.140 And I'm not suggesting that I don't know who asked the question.

00:31:47.640 I'm not suggesting he's not being manly.

00:31:49.500 Cause I don't know if he's done those things, but when people just walk and quit and throw

00:31:53.440 in the towel before they even ask and assert themselves.

00:31:56.080 Yeah.

00:31:56.340 I don't, I don't think that's a great way to behave.

00:31:59.580 Yeah.

00:31:59.940 Now if you've asked and, and, and you've, and you've tried and you've poured resources

00:32:04.960 and time and energy, energy and attention into something and it's not panning out.

00:32:08.940 Okay.

00:32:09.260 Well, yeah, at some point, but I think you should try those things first.

00:32:14.020 Yeah.

00:32:15.220 Adam Lewis, Ryan, what are your thoughts on the main event of how it went and the hunt?

00:32:21.240 Maybe you want to stay in the hunt for, for the next app.

00:32:24.800 I don't know.

00:32:25.760 Yeah.

00:32:25.940 I mean, you can go back and listen.

00:32:26.900 Or you already talked about the hunt.

00:32:27.920 Yeah.

00:32:28.140 Yeah.

00:32:28.440 With my, with my son Brecken, but yeah, the main event went great.

00:32:31.620 You know, what was really good about it is I know a lot of people know that, you know,

00:32:36.120 I've just had some personal issues that I'm going with through right now and I've been

00:32:38.900 kind of struggling and you know, that's been a challenge.

00:32:42.640 And at some point I'll talk about some of those things, but the reason I even bring

00:32:45.780 that up right now is because I realized how incredible you and Jay and Cameron and Chris,

00:32:53.900 and I hesitate to name names because I always forget people, but how incredible our leadership

00:33:00.340 team is with Order of Man and the Iron Council.

00:33:03.480 It's so incredible.

00:33:04.940 Even in, in, you know, where, where I am working through some, some personal things.

00:33:10.020 It's like, man, you guys just stepped up in such a great way.

00:33:13.680 And I don't think we skipped a beat.

00:33:15.700 In fact, I think it was better.

00:33:16.920 We implemented some new things.

00:33:18.220 We did some different things that we hadn't done before.

00:33:20.800 And I guess the litmus test is not whether or not I thought it was a good event.

00:33:25.060 The litmus test is whether or not the guys thought it was a good event.

00:33:27.800 And I hope that they did their after action reviews that they sent to us said that they

00:33:32.420 did.

00:33:33.280 And I hope that's the case, you know?

00:33:35.720 So, yeah.

00:33:36.820 And then go, go listen to the hunt.

00:33:39.000 Yeah.

00:33:39.100 So, Trenton Mangrum, what do you do to stay organized in business and in life?

00:33:45.040 I always feel I am forgetting something or someone.

00:33:48.700 Okay.

00:33:49.200 So, I'll answer that question by telling you that you need to ask better questions.

00:33:55.100 So, let me give you what I, let me tell you what I mean by that.

00:33:57.960 It's such a broad question that it's impossible to organize the question or the response to it.

00:34:05.340 Like, I cannot formulate a response.

00:34:07.640 I mean, I can, and I'm going to try here in a minute, but I could be way off because it's

00:34:12.560 so broad.

00:34:13.020 What do you do to be organized in life?

00:34:15.920 What do you mean?

00:34:16.560 What are you, what are you talking about?

00:34:18.460 Okay.

00:34:18.760 So, I'm answering the question like that.

00:34:21.060 Have you used the schedule?

00:34:21.720 What have you tried?

00:34:22.680 Right.

00:34:23.020 Yeah.

00:34:23.800 So, I'm answering that question like that, but it's also a useful answer because rather

00:34:28.260 than organizing your life, what I'd like you to do today is organize your car.

00:34:34.020 Just organize your car or even smaller.

00:34:35.840 Organize your glove box.

00:34:36.760 Go in there, take all the receipts out from the mechanic that are old, throw out all the

00:34:41.780 old registrations, throw out the pills of Tylenol that you have in there that have been sitting

00:34:45.420 there for, you know, 12 years.

00:34:47.440 I went in the other day, I had old bloody brought arrow broadheads that had it from other hunts.

00:34:52.760 Like take that out, like old registration stickers and like, like clean it out.

00:34:57.960 Just clean it out, throw it, get a trash can, go in, pull all the trash out of the side panels

00:35:03.160 of your door and in your glove box and center console, lift up the, actually pull out the

00:35:07.900 mats and hose them off and vacuum under the mats. 0.83

00:35:11.720 Like see if you have a toolbox, like go through the toolbox, organize it, situate it, clean it.

00:35:17.500 Just doing that alone, not number one, you're going to be much more effective.

00:35:21.420 Number two, you're going to feel productive.

00:35:23.480 So that develops and builds confidence.

00:35:25.040 And then number three, you're going to see what it's like to organize something.

00:35:28.580 Okay.

00:35:28.900 Now when you're done with that, go into your office.

00:35:31.160 I don't have to organize this entire office space.

00:35:33.560 I just maybe need to organize my bookshelf or I've got a stat.

00:35:36.780 Me personally, they're not there anymore.

00:35:38.240 I've got a couple of papers there and a couple of checks here.

00:35:40.120 I need to deposit.

00:35:41.260 Well, usually what I do is I stack them all up and then over time, it just builds and

00:35:44.380 builds and builds and builds.

00:35:45.520 So one thing I could do personally is go through and deposit the checks, send some other checks

00:35:52.580 in, file the medical bills where they need to be filed in the right filing, have a filing

00:35:56.960 cabinet, have a filing system, just isolate it.

00:36:00.200 And what's the most important thing that needs to be organized right now?

00:36:02.960 Is it your calendar?

00:36:03.800 Is it your phone?

00:36:05.020 Is it your pictures on your phone?

00:36:06.660 Is it packing for a trip?

00:36:09.880 Whatever.

00:36:10.620 Just pick something and do that instead of saying, hey, how do you organize life?

00:36:15.220 Okay.

00:36:16.020 Nathan Fullerton, what is your plan to beat your kids next year at tug of war?

00:36:21.240 Holy cow. 0.89

00:36:22.100 What's that workout plan look like?

00:36:24.340 Are you okay emotionally after that loss?

00:36:27.220 No, I'm actually really like, I'm torn.

00:36:29.600 It's bittersweet.

00:36:30.320 They beat me.

00:36:30.820 My three boys beat me.

00:36:32.160 I didn't expect that to happen, by the way.

00:36:33.880 I thought, no way.

00:36:35.920 Yeah, I'm going to just drag these guys across the grass.

00:36:38.680 I thought for sure.

00:36:40.780 And they beat me like fair and square.

00:36:43.160 My oldest son was saying, dad, were you even trying?

00:36:46.400 I said, yes, a hundred percent.

00:36:47.720 I would not let you in on purpose.

00:36:49.780 I would never do that in a million years.

00:36:51.680 I don't care how old you are. 0.76

00:36:52.800 I would never let you do that.

00:36:54.780 And yeah, they beat me fair and square.

00:36:57.980 So I don't know.

00:37:00.580 At this point, look, I'm not trying to throw in the towel, but they're only going to get,

00:37:06.640 they're going to get exponentially bigger than I am.

00:37:09.940 The only thing I can say.

00:37:11.600 Faster than you.

00:37:12.800 Yes.

00:37:13.080 Bigger at a faster rate than you can.

00:37:15.200 The only thing that I can say is as I get older and there's a few more gray hairs in

00:37:19.920 my beard is that I can be wiser.

00:37:23.580 I can be smarter.

00:37:24.500 I have more life experience.

00:37:25.980 So I think next year, instead of worrying about my muscles, I'm going to worry about technique

00:37:30.540 and tricks.

00:37:32.000 Like, like give them a bunch of slack on the rope.

00:37:34.400 So they fall and then hurry and pull it old.

00:37:37.180 I'm going to use old man wisdom versus strength.

00:37:40.900 Cause I just, honestly, I just don't see it happening at this point.

00:37:44.920 It's like, let's work in jujitsu.

00:37:46.780 It's like jujitsu.

00:37:47.740 It's like, you know, you can take a guy that's a buck 90.

00:37:51.660 How much do you weigh Kip?

00:37:53.340 One 95.

00:37:54.540 Okay.

00:37:54.840 So we're right around the same weight.

00:37:56.360 You take us, uh, and you could put, we'll use you as an example.

00:38:01.500 Cause you're better, uh, is take a guy that's 220 or 230 or 250 pounds even.

00:38:07.540 And because you're smarter jujitsu wise, you're going to beat him.

00:38:14.780 He's going to use all his muscle and all his strength, and you're going to use it against 1.00

00:38:18.180 him and you're going to make him look foolish. 0.99

00:38:20.800 You don't need to wait for my opportunity. 0.99

00:38:22.940 That's right.

00:38:23.540 So that's what I'm going to do.

00:38:24.620 I'm not going to worry too much about my strength and just all up here, all up here.

00:38:29.160 Yeah.

00:38:29.680 I'm going to get in their heads before the event, like try to fake them out, talk a lot

00:38:34.300 of crap, like get in their head, mess with them, trying to get them to like really work 0.96

00:38:38.680 hard. 1.00

00:38:39.260 Like I got, I got my strategies.

00:38:41.140 I can't disclose all of them.

00:38:42.120 Cause I'm, I'm afraid my oldest listens to the podcast.

00:38:44.080 So, all right.

00:38:46.920 Cesar, uh, Chacon, uh, and he's an educator, at least in his title inside the foundry.

00:38:54.320 So we'll see if that helps the question.

00:38:56.440 What is the best way to increase net worth?

00:38:58.860 Um, I've had a big setback shortly after joining the iron council and now I'm looking

00:39:03.780 for ways to earn, create, and make more money.

00:39:07.100 Again, it's so broad.

00:39:08.560 What is the best way to create net worth?

00:39:10.600 I mean, the simple answer is to find out that something will pay that's create something

00:39:15.660 or find something that people will pay for.

00:39:17.580 Like that's the simple, if you're asking a broad question, that's a broad answer.

00:39:21.240 I know, but that really is the answer.

00:39:23.860 You have to sell something, right?

00:39:25.460 Or, and I guess you could invest.

00:39:26.700 There's, there's investment opportunities, but usually that takes a little longer.

00:39:30.780 Uh, and especially if you had a big setback, you might not have money to invest in something.

00:39:35.060 Yeah.

00:39:35.120 I was going to say, if you have a setback that a little bit implies that you don't have

00:39:39.740 any assets to be able to make an investment.

00:39:43.280 So, right.

00:39:44.540 So it's, I don't know.

00:39:48.440 Yeah.

00:39:49.100 Hustle.

00:39:49.680 Yeah.

00:39:49.880 I guess you're, you know, I don't know.

00:39:51.840 Just what I would say is figure out what you're into and find a way to sell it.

00:39:58.540 Yeah.

00:39:59.340 Right.

00:39:59.680 If you're into, well, jujitsu is a great, if you're into jujitsu and you're good at it,

00:40:05.100 you're qualified to do it, then start putting together video, video courses on YouTube.

00:40:10.600 Hey, here's a couple of sweeps.

00:40:11.760 Here's a couple of passes.

00:40:12.600 Here's a couple of whatever.

00:40:14.140 Put those on there and see where it goes.

00:40:16.220 Like there's all sorts of companies out there that have done it.

00:40:19.700 Nick Albain, jujitsu.

00:40:21.300 He's one that does it really well.

00:40:22.640 He's a friend of mine.

00:40:24.360 I've bought in courses like flow charts and there's all sorts of guys that do stuff like

00:40:31.000 that.

00:40:32.280 If it's building websites, cool.

00:40:34.540 Put that out there.

00:40:35.140 Offer to look at some websites and say, Hey, like I'd like to offer a couple of pages for

00:40:41.260 you on your website that I think would help.

00:40:43.240 You need an about us page.

00:40:44.260 You need to start here page.

00:40:45.220 I'll build those out for you for free, just so you can see my work.

00:40:48.460 And if you like it, then maybe there's a couple other pages I can build for you or tweak or

00:40:51.500 adjust for SEO.

00:40:52.880 I'm making stuff up here.

00:40:54.040 If it's photography, if it's painting, like people are doing everything and anything and

00:40:58.600 they're making money doing.

00:40:59.660 So find out what your thing is and sell it.

00:41:02.380 The other, another guy just barely was talking about how to organize.

00:41:05.440 Maybe you're really organized.

00:41:07.700 So you put together a course, you know, a 10, a 10 week course on how to, how to organize

00:41:13.100 effectively and efficiently, or you even offer to organize people's spaces and environments

00:41:17.300 or their computers and their files, storage, whatever.

00:41:20.760 So many ways to make money, but find out what you're into and then sell it.

00:41:24.880 Yeah.

00:41:25.880 All right.

00:41:27.460 Brandon Ballard.

00:41:29.160 I have three team members at work that have a sky is falling mentality.

00:41:35.000 When one thing goes wrong, they can't seem to pivot and, and spiral into doomed mental

00:41:40.840 space, making them ineffective at their jobs.

00:41:43.300 How do I coach them to change their mindset and embrace a culture of adaptability?

00:41:48.720 Man, that's a pretty good question.

00:41:50.640 These are all good questions.

00:41:51.840 It's kind of hard to answer actually, which I think is what makes it a good question.

00:41:54.780 If it's, if you actually have to think about it and how, okay.

00:41:58.560 So I would say for adaptability, uh, number one, don't solve their problems.

00:42:05.200 That might be the biggest issue.

00:42:06.940 I don't know.

00:42:07.640 I'm just assuming here, but let's say they just throw up their hands.

00:42:10.840 Like, oh, everything's falling.

00:42:12.380 All the world's coming to an end.

00:42:13.580 And then you rush in like Superman and you're like, oh, don't take it easy guys.

00:42:16.760 Take it.

00:42:17.020 Look, I'm here to save the day.

00:42:18.660 And then you formulate a plan and a strategy.

00:42:21.160 Then what are you training them to do?

00:42:22.640 So complain every time something goes wrong.

00:42:26.720 So one simple thing that you can do is say, Hey guys, look, I know this is stressful.

00:42:31.180 I know it's a high, high pressure situation right now.

00:42:33.500 We got to get this done.

00:42:34.180 We have a deadline.

00:42:35.260 Uh, clients not happy.

00:42:36.340 Like I get it.

00:42:37.440 Uh, but I also have faith in you.

00:42:38.880 So I'm going to leave you guys with it.

00:42:40.440 And, uh, when you come up with an answer, let me know.

00:42:44.380 We'll check back at the end of the day.

00:42:45.720 Good luck guys.

00:42:46.500 I'm going to lunch.

00:42:48.920 I wouldn't say I'm going to lunch, but you know what I'm saying?

00:42:51.340 And let them figure it out because maybe they come to the conclusion. 0.99

00:42:55.940 They're like, oh crap. 0.96

00:42:57.560 Ryan's not right. 0.97

00:42:58.820 He's not going to do it this time.

00:42:59.960 It's kind of like having a, you remember in high school when you got paired up because

00:43:04.140 you had to do a science project and you always wanted that nerdy girl that sits in the front 1.00

00:43:08.600 of the class and ask all the questions.

00:43:10.200 You're like, please be my partner.

00:43:11.120 Please be my partner.

00:43:11.900 Please be my partner.

00:43:13.280 And you get her and you're like, sweet.

00:43:15.060 I don't have to do anything.

00:43:16.120 Like that's you.

00:43:18.440 You're the nerdy girl in the front of the class. 1.00

00:43:20.280 If you're trying to come in and rescue and do it all.

00:43:22.660 So don't be that person.

00:43:24.320 Let them figure it out.

00:43:25.380 And maybe they're like, oh man, Ryan's not going to save us from, from these issues.

00:43:29.540 So maybe they're actually not that big a deal.

00:43:32.120 That's one conclusion that you can come to.

00:43:34.300 Or maybe they're like, oh no, this is a big deal.

00:43:36.480 Shoot.

00:43:36.820 And he wants us to come up with an answer. 0.83

00:43:39.120 Oh yeah.

00:43:39.860 Okay.

00:43:40.040 Well, here's three.

00:43:41.180 Well, what's the best?

00:43:42.680 Well, we think this is the best.

00:43:43.680 And let the guy, just let them work through it.

00:43:45.960 They'll come up.

00:43:46.620 It might not be awesome, but they'll start learning to come up with.

00:43:49.840 And then they present that solution to you.

00:43:51.560 And then you work it with them after they've come up.

00:43:54.300 It's like, okay, cool guys.

00:43:55.240 What about this?

00:43:56.940 And you throw wrenches at it.

00:43:58.700 And they're like, oh yeah, well, we thought if this, then this.

00:44:01.220 Cool.

00:44:01.400 Okay.

00:44:01.580 You thought that through.

00:44:02.200 What about this?

00:44:02.820 Oh man, we didn't think about that.

00:44:04.160 Okay.

00:44:04.340 Well, how can we address that?

00:44:05.500 And you start working with them.

00:44:06.820 And then gradually you just give them more and more responsibility.

00:44:10.060 It's kind of like that question we were talking about earlier with the fatherhood.

00:44:13.200 rendering yourself obsolete, putting yourself out of, out of, out of work.

00:44:19.200 That's what great leaders do.

00:44:21.140 Yeah.

00:44:21.620 And there's resources online around like transfer of ownership.

00:44:24.340 You might, you know, these guys might be at different levels where you might be a little

00:44:29.160 bit more handholding and then less handholding, depending on the level of transfer ownership

00:44:33.900 that you're wanting to give them.

00:44:34.920 The other thing I'd add is just have a positive attitude about it.

00:44:40.700 I love, I know it's such a cliche thing, but I love it when Jocko does his whole good

00:44:45.540 thing.

00:44:46.180 Well, I know what you're going to say.

00:44:47.360 Right.

00:44:47.820 And it's like, you're just going to say good.

00:44:49.920 Yeah.

00:44:50.260 It's like kind of have some positive environment like it.

00:44:53.140 Like, dude, boss, we have a major problem.

00:44:55.080 This is a pain.

00:44:55.600 I don't even know if we can figure out awesome, dude, let's do this.

00:45:00.200 That's kind of exciting.

00:45:01.500 Like, at least I get excited thinking about, man, like stakes are high.

00:45:05.260 Let's figure this out.

00:45:06.360 This is cool stuff.

00:45:07.520 Right.

00:45:07.840 And, and, and, and bring a more positive approach to the challenge versus the, the challenge

00:45:14.980 being such a negative thing.

00:45:16.620 Right.

00:45:17.400 Yeah.

00:45:17.740 Agree.

00:45:18.180 Might help anyone.

00:45:19.260 Yeah.

00:45:19.820 Cool.

00:45:20.220 Cool.

00:45:20.820 All right.

00:45:21.560 Uh, Scott, uh, Jared, a, let's take a couple more, by the way.

00:45:26.320 Okay.

00:45:26.880 I think this is actually the last question that we have for today.

00:45:29.600 Let's take this one.

00:45:30.240 Have you ever considered creating and selling a challenge coin for order, man, or IC?

00:45:35.500 No, cause you can't, why, what, what's challenging about buying a coin?

00:45:41.520 Yeah.

00:45:42.220 It's called a challenge coin.

00:45:44.400 Is it challenging to buy it off the store?

00:45:48.220 Like you didn't do anything special.

00:45:50.380 What Scott doesn't know is there are order of man challenge coins.

00:45:54.440 That's right.

00:45:55.020 Oh yeah.

00:45:55.980 Yeah.

00:45:56.140 That's right.

00:45:56.600 And because it has to be earned.

00:45:58.640 So I appreciate the sentiment, but the answer is no, I'll never sell a challenge coin because

00:46:05.180 it's not, then it's not a challenge coin.

00:46:07.680 It's just, you bought a little token and I wouldn't call it a challenge coin.

00:46:13.080 Yeah.

00:46:13.660 So coins are to be earned through doing hard things through effort.

00:46:18.120 And we do have those.

00:46:20.060 And some guys do have those.

00:46:21.920 So there's your answer to that.

00:46:24.160 But let, I don't know.

00:46:25.640 I get, I get burned out on the whole challenge, like the military challenge coin thing.

00:46:29.880 Like everybody, and they're cool.

00:46:31.480 You know, it's like, but really I got a bunch sitting in the, in the drawer and I have a

00:46:35.700 bunch sitting right up there and guess which ones are in the drawer?

00:46:39.720 The ones that people gave me that don't mean anything.

00:46:42.740 Guess which ones right there?

00:46:44.500 The ones that actually have meaning behind them.

00:46:46.260 The ones that I earned from my time and service, but the ones that people just gave me because

00:46:51.120 I didn't do anything.

00:46:51.880 Those are all in the drawer right there.

00:46:55.380 Or I give them to my kids.

00:46:57.580 So it defeats the purpose.

00:46:59.800 That's all I'm saying.

00:47:00.900 But maybe I'm just a stick in the mud too. 0.94

00:47:04.260 I could be, you're a grumpy old man. 0.98

00:47:06.180 That's what you are. 0.99

00:47:07.200 Totally.

00:47:08.980 Sometimes I'm just, I'm sorry guys.

00:47:11.520 I just, I'm not sorry.

00:47:12.840 I just, I'm, I'm very practical and pragmatic, you know?

00:47:17.220 And I, and I know that sometimes it comes across as just like being a dud, but.

00:47:21.880 At the same time, no, if you're going to call it a challenge coin, then do something challenging

00:47:25.420 and maybe I'll give you one.

00:47:30.160 There you go.

00:47:30.840 There's your call to action.

00:47:32.100 If you've done something really challenging, ping, ping Mr. Mickler on Instagram and Twitter

00:47:37.040 at Ryan Mithler and let him know why you deserve a challenge coin.

00:47:40.060 Maybe he'll, he'll send one your way.

00:47:42.400 Please don't do that.

00:47:43.580 Now I'm going to have thousands of messages and emails from people.

00:47:46.460 Well, I did this thing.

00:47:47.420 And what would I do?

00:47:48.400 I did this.

00:47:49.300 I don't care about any of that.

00:47:51.880 Oh, do it anyway.

00:47:53.780 It'd be funny.

00:47:54.620 No, don't.

00:47:55.620 I'll block you. 0.98

00:47:56.760 I will block you guys. 0.98

00:47:58.880 I'll say the masculinity manifesto.

00:48:01.860 Oh, go ahead.

00:48:02.940 Sorry.

00:48:03.480 I just said, I'll, I'll, I'll congratulate you and then I'll block you.

00:48:09.060 Okay.

00:48:09.500 Don't do it guys.

00:48:10.980 Yeah.

00:48:11.380 Don't do that.

00:48:13.320 So a couple of call to action.

00:48:14.860 Um, you know, we mentioned the iron council to learn more about the IC and to get notified

00:48:19.540 when we open that back up for enrollment, go to order of man.com slash iron council.

00:48:25.140 The Ryan second book, the masculinity manifesto, uh, is out and available.

00:48:30.560 Uh, so to buy that book, wherever books are sold.

00:48:35.060 And I assume that you probably have some signed versions on store.order of man.com.

00:48:40.120 You assume incorrectly.

00:48:42.420 Ah, all right.

00:48:44.000 I do.

00:48:44.940 I do have some, they're just not signed yet.

00:48:47.840 Cause we've been so busy with the event, but they will be on the store within the next

00:48:50.880 couple of weeks.

00:48:52.300 Okay.

00:48:52.760 There you go.

00:48:53.400 So if you want to sign version, stay tuned and go to store.order of man.com.

00:48:57.940 That's right.

00:48:58.800 Cool.

00:48:59.480 Well, thanks, Kip.

00:49:00.040 Thanks guys.

00:49:00.460 Great questions.

00:49:01.260 Appreciate you guys in the iron council asking those questions.

00:49:03.340 Hopefully we gave you some answers to at least consider, um, or to ridicule and mock and make

00:49:08.340 fun of, uh, but whatever, hopefully it was at least somewhat entertaining for you guys

00:49:12.480 and educational.

00:49:13.700 Uh, we'll be back on Friday for our Friday field notes, but until then go out there, take action

00:49:18.320 and become the man you are meant to be.

00:49:20.280 Thank you for listening to the order of man podcast.

00:49:23.400 You're ready to take charge of your life and be more of the man you were meant to be.

00:49:27.480 We invite you to join the order at quarter of man.com.

Order of Man - October 19, 2022

Reconciling after Separation, Knowing When to Move On, and How to Coach Mindset Change in Others ｜ ASK ME ANYTHING

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