Reject Mediocrity, Embrace Excellence | FRIDAY FIELD NOTES
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Summary
In this episode, Ryan talks about the notion of mediocrity and how it has permeated every facet of society, from the dad bod to the idea that we can be just as good as the next guy. He lays out 5 steps to reject this notion and live up to the standard that society has set for us.
Transcript
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You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest, embrace your fears, and boldly chart
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your own path. When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time, every time.
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You are not easily deterred or defeated, rugged, resilient, strong. This is your life. This is who
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you are. This is who you will become. At the end of the day, and after all is said and done,
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you can call yourself a man. Gentlemen, what is going on today? My name is Ryan Michler,
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and I am the host and the founder of this podcast and the movement that is Order of Men.
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If you're new to the show today, this is a movement about reclaiming and restoring
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traditional masculinity. And to that end, we have this podcast. We've got a blog. We've got
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YouTube channels. We've got social media channels. We've got it all. And of course, we've got our
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exclusive brotherhood, The Iron Council, where 500 men have decided to band together and go more in
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depth into the conversations and the subjects and the topics that we're discussing. And then more
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importantly than that, take action towards those conversations, towards improving as fathers,
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husbands, business owners, community leaders, and every other facet that we're showing up as.
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So if you're interested in something deeper, a little bit more connected and the push and the
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accountability that you might need to take your life to the next level, then I would encourage you
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to join us inside The Iron Council. You can do that at orderofman.com slash Iron Council.
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Now for today, in case you're not aware of what we're doing here, this is your Friday field notes.
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So it's thoughts about some things that I've been thinking about from throughout the week. And
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specifically today, I want to talk about this idea and this thought that just seems to permeate
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every fabric of society. And that is the notion of mediocrity. And we'll get into that here in just
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a minute because I've got five steps that I think if we all, as men, incorporated more into our
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lives, we would reject this notion of mediocrity. And instead we would excel and thrive and really
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step up in ways that maybe we haven't in the past and the ways that we need to, the ways that are
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going to fulfill our mission and our objectives and the things that we want to accomplish and
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more effectively help others accomplish what it is thereafter as well. Before I get into that,
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I just want to make one quick mention. We're getting very, very close on the Hoyt Bow giveaway.
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We're giving away a brand new Hoyt Helix. It's one of their brand new bows. If you are a bow hunter or
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have aspirations to become a bow hunter or an archer, then definitely check this out. This is
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a $1,200 bow. It's an incredible piece of equipment that will really help you take your bow hunting or
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archery game to the next level. You can get registered for the giveaway, which we'll be doing
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on April 1st, 2019 at order of man.com slash Hoyt H O Y T. So again, order of man.com slash Hoyt,
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go ahead and take care of that, uh, after this show, because for now, again, I want to talk with
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you about the notion of mediocrity and look guys, as I was going through this, I, I, I'm always
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interested and fascinated with where words come from. And what I found here is that the word reject,
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I was really interested in that. And it says here to throw away, to cast away, to vomit.
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And I think that's pretty indicative of what we should be doing when it comes to mediocrity.
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And as I said before, it's permeated every fabric of society from the dad bod to the notion that we
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can be just good enough to the idea of participation trophies to as long as I'm better than the next guy.
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I mean, it's everywhere and it's absolutely ridiculous. And it undermines and undercuts
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our ability to step up as fully as we're capable of. It's just not living to the standard that we
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should, and we should create our own standards and be our own best standard and not compare
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ourselves to other people and what they're doing and how they're performing and really go out of our
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way to excel, to thrive, to live the type of life that we're capable of living. So I want you to look
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at, for example, your marriage. Is it mediocre? Is it average? Is it boring? Is it complacent? Is
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in a rut? That might mean that you've accepted the idea of mediocrity, that you've just succumbed to
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the idea that this is just the way marriage is. Because when you're married for five or seven or
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10 or 15 years, that this is just how it happens. Take a look at your marriage honestly and objectively
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and ask yourself if it is in a rut. And then we'll talk about how to get out of that rut.
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Ask yourself when it comes to your level of fitness, you know, do you have a little bit of a spare tire
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around the, uh, around the midsection? Are you a little weaker, not getting as much sleep as maybe
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you should eating kind of a little bit more junk than maybe necessary. These are all little things
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that creep into our day-to-day activities that keep us from doing what we want to do.
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That's what we need to understand that when we don't reject this idea of mediocrity and
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we instead embrace the mediocrity that has become so many of our lives, that we're selling
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ourselves short, that we're acting in it from a position of delusion in that we think that
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we're doing our best and we're not. Very rarely are we doing our best. Look at your bank account.
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Look at your debts. Look at other relationships you have. Look at your career. Look at the way that
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you show up. Look at the way that you do the little things and ask yourself objectively,
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am I coasting? Am I just getting by? Am I just barely doing enough just to hang on to whatever
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it is I think I should have or the standard that maybe society has set? And I'll tell you,
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it's an inferior standard. It is an absolute inferior standard. What society has set for us,
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what they're setting for our children and what ultimately they want us to accomplish.
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But I will also tell you this, that those who reject the inferior
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standard that society has put in place will ultimately be the ones who dictate how society
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is run, who will ultimately be able to dictate how they live their lives, will ultimately be able to
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influence how long they live and how healthy they are in life and the type of fulfillment they have and
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what type of relationship they have with their wife and their kids and the people in their community.
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It's the ones who thrive, the ones who excel, the ones who go above and beyond what is it expected
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that always reap the benefits of doing the work. So if you're driving to work right now,
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or maybe you're on a run or you're in bed or you're doing whatever it is you're doing,
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ask yourself, do I have what I want out of life? Do I have what I want out of life?
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Now, in some areas, you may say, yes, I do. In other areas, if you're like most people,
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the answer is certainly no, that you don't have everything you want. And I'm here to tell you
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that the single greatest solution to that, although it's broad, is to reject and dismiss and just be
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repulsed by and disgusted by the idea that you are living a mediocre life and instead attempt to
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thrive and excel and go above and beyond what is required of you. Now, the challenge with this
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is that nobody's going to expect it of you. Nobody's going to expect it of you. Your wife has
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just bought into the idea that you're just kind of an average, ordinary dude. Your employer has just
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bought into the idea that you're going to do the bare minimum. You're going to get in there when you
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need to. You're going to leave as soon as you can. You're going to do the bare minimum to get by.
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And that's just kind of the way employees are. Nobody's going to hold you accountable or hold
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your hand or tell you that you need to go into the gym and lose that extra 15 to 20 pounds.
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Nobody's going to be standing over your shoulder, documenting the garbage that you're putting into
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your body. Nobody's going to hold you accountable. You have to decide for yourself. And not only are
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they not going to hold you accountable, they're actually probably in a lot of instances going to
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encourage you to be mediocre. I know this because I've experienced it in my own life. These are
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people that I love. These are people even that love me. They have respect for me. They say they
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want me to win. But ultimately, when we interact, they're intimidated by the fact that I am driving on,
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that I am trying to excel, that I am trying to go above and beyond what is expected of me and do
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something even greater than I maybe even think I'm capable of now. They don't want me to do that.
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Why? Because it represents a very real threat to their own mediocrity. And so it's not that they
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don't care about you or they do care about you. It's that the way that you show up impacts them.
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If everybody else around me starts to thrive and excel and push and exceed their expectation
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and create some wild, crazy aspirations that they've always had, then what does that say
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about me who doesn't push, who doesn't thrive, who doesn't excel? These are the types of people
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who love you, but they don't have your best interest at heart. They're interested more in
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maintaining their status quo than they are worried about you doing something that you have the potential
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to do. And it is potential unrealized potential. It's there. It's there for you. It's there for me.
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All we have to do is step into it, have a different mindset and a couple of steps I'm going to give you
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here in a minute. And, uh, you will begin to see that when you ask yourself that question in the future,
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do I have what I want? You will be able to confidently say, yes, I do. And as you have greater
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and greater aspirations, you'll be able to say, I know that I'm capable of accomplishing that because
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I have a track record of accomplishing the things that I desire. So guys, with that introduction,
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let's get into the five steps. This one is going to be fairly short today because I don't think we
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need 10 steps. I don't think we need 20 steps. I don't think that we need to drone on and on and on
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about how to make yourself exceptional. And that is the antithesis, right? That is the opposite of
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mediocre is that you are going to be exceptional. That's what I want to be in all ways. That's what
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you should want to be in all ways. And if you're not interested in that, in whatever you're doing,
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a don't do it or be just resign right now. Stop listening to this podcast. Stop reading books.
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Stop, stop following those influential people and those inspirational people, because you're just
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not interested in doing the work. And I'm not going to say that's okay, but I know that there's
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some people out there who are like that. But if you're listening to this and you're reading books
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and you're following other inspirational people, then it's safe to assume that you are to some
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degree interested in it. So let's stop talking about it and let's go out and do it. So if you can
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take some notes, write these five things down and figure out how you're going to incorporate
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them very specifically and very tactically in your life. Number one, stop comparing yourself
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to other people. Stop comparing yourself to other people. Now, a lot of the times we compare
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ourselves to those who maybe are a little further down the path than us. And I think that actually
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could be very advantageous. I think it can also be destructive to take into the extreme. But look,
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if you're following me as a podcaster, because you want to create a podcast or movement like I've
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created, and that inspires you to do something great. I think there's a time for that. If you're
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following a fitness guy and he's ripped and he can run for miles and miles and miles, and he's got
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everything that he wants with regards to health and nutrition and fitness locked in, then I say,
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you know, follow that guy. Don't compare yourself necessarily, but be inspired by that individual.
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What I'm saying when I tell you to stop comparing yourself to other people is to stop saying that
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you're doing just enough to get by. At least I'm doing better than so-and-so fill in the blank. We have a
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tendency to do that because we want to prop ourselves up. We want to make ourselves feel
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better than maybe we should. And even saying that's a little bit taboo in modern society
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because the modern thought is that you're good just the way that you are. And just the way that
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you are is blending in with what everybody else is doing and who everybody else is. Guys, you're not
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meant for that. All right. You're not meant for the entry-level job. You're not meant for the basics.
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When you go into the gym, you're not meant for an ordinary average marriage. You are not meant for
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that. You are meant for and designed for bigger and greater and grander things. And you can let
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the masses play in the mediocrity pool. You're going to get out of that pool and you're going to go play
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in somewhere else, somewhere where you can thrive, somewhere where you can excel, somewhere you can
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exceed expectations. So when somebody comes to you and says, Hey, John, you're doing a really good job.
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You can say thank you, but deep down inside, don't accept that compliment because you're capable of
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so much more. It's like, I'm doing a good job by whose standards. And this isn't an opportunity to
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beat yourself up. This isn't an opportunity to turn this into a negative situation, but it is an
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opportunity to say, you know what? I appreciate that you say I'm doing good or that I'm on the right
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path, but I want something bigger. I want something better. I want something grander. And then making
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those plans to make it happen. So again, stop, step number one is to not compare yourself to
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ordinary, average, complacent, mediocre people. I see this all the time. I saw it in my financial
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planning practice. I would meet with clients and give them a financial strategy and coach them through
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the process. And they'd say, you know, I want to talk with my, my uncle or my friend or my brother
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or my parents. And I'd ask them how these people were in their financial situation. And more often
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than not, what my clients would say is, uh, well, they're not really doing well financially.
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It's like, well, why the hell would you listen to that individual? All right. If you want to be
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wealthy, don't take advice from, or compare yourself to broke people. If you want to be healthy,
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don't take advice from, or, or listen to people who are fat and out of shape and overweight and not
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healthy. If you want to have a thriving relationship, don't compare yourself to the
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schmuck who's been through, you know, five or six divorces. Instead, maybe compare yourself to somebody
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who has a 20 or a 30 year marriage and has this stuff locked down. And more importantly than comparing
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yourself to that individual, find out what that individual did to excel and to thrive and to succeed.
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And it's a little bit harder because those people who are rejecting mediocrity and instead stepping
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into excellence are few and far between. I want you to be one of those individuals in order to do
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that. You've got to find those individuals, which leads me into point number two, elevate your
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surroundings, elevate your surroundings in all ways. If you're, if your office, for example, is a mess,
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you are not living exceptional. You need to elevate that by cleaning it up, organizing your files,
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throwing stuff away, get rid of the old junk, cleaning up, doing an office makeover, whatever
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you need to do to elevate your surroundings. It could be your physical surroundings. It could be
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the information that you're putting into your head. What kind of books are you reading? Are you
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reading the classics? Are you reading New York times bestselling books? Are you reading books that
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are edifying and uplifting you? Are you reading books from the most successful, most intelligent
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people in the history of mankind? Or are you putting filth and trash and nonsense and garbage
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into your brain? I'm telling you, if you're putting that kind of stuff into your brain, you are going to
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produce the exact same results. I mean, this, our brains are just processing centers. All right. They're
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just processing information and then they're computing an output based on the information
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that you put into the processor. So if you're putting junk and garbage into the processor,
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then the natural outcome or the natural output is junk and garbage. If you're putting in the highest
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quality fuel and information and ideas into your brain, then the natural outcome, the product of that
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is an outcome and an output that is exceptional. So what podcast are you listening to? What books
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are you reading? What YouTube channels are you subscribed to? What TV shows are you watching?
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What is your office situation and surroundings look like? You know, I've been in people's cars. I said,
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Hey, hop in. Like, I'll give you a ride wherever these are friends. And I get in their car and their
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car is filthy. It's absolutely trashed. And I think to myself, how can this individual thrive and excel at
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anything in life? If their car, if their car looks like this and some people say, well, Ryan, that's
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being really judgmental maybe, but it also happens to be a pretty good indicator for the rest of their
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life. Organized people tend to be organized people. People who have chaos in one facet of their life
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tend to have chaos in other facets of their life. People who are overweight, grossly overweight are
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probably lacking the discipline skills to excel in their business and their marriage and every other
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facet of life. So while it may come across as judgmental, we can take it and we can learn from
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it. How can I be exceptional at everything? Clean up my car, clean up my office, clean up my house,
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clean up my files, clean up my computer, clean up my friends, who is in my friend list and what are they
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doing to me? Clean up my library, clean out the YouTube channel, clean out your podcast, clean out
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what you're, what you're watching on TV and really do an inventory and ask yourself, is this encouraging
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mediocrity or do the things that I put into my mind and my brain encourage exceptionalism? That's number
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two, elevate your surroundings. Uh, number three, and I'm going to change the order here that I wrote
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down. Uh, let's see. Number three, we'll do this way. Focus on the little things guys, focus on the
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little things. This is such a great factor in thriving and being exceptional. It's focusing on
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the little things. Everybody can do it right. When people are watching, everybody can do it right.
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When it's the big things, but it's the little things. If you can do the little things, the things
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that seem insignificant, the things that nobody's going to look at and nobody's going to review.
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If you can get those things right, then the big things inevitably take care of themselves.
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A perfect analogy of this is the gym. You know, if you're working on, I don't know,
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cleans or deadlifts, for example, you might just muscle through the weight and that's fine,
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I guess. But are you selling yourself short if you do that? Now you might look at it to
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point number one and compare yourself to other people and say, well, I'm stronger than that guy.
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Well, okay. But are you as strong as you could be? And how can you clean up a clean or how can you
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clean up a deadlift or a bench press or a back squat by doing the little things, by getting your
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feet in the right position, by having the right shoes on, by having the right equipment, by having the
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right mechanics, by having the right coach and putting the right information into your brain.
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And when you do those little things correctly in the gym, it translates to being able to push and
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pull more weight, which makes you stronger. It's the same thing in the office. If you're walking over
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trash and like my friend, Andy Frisilla, what the MFCEO says, you're leaving your little pee droplets
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on the toilet seat. Where else are you doing that? Where else are you falling short? Where else are you
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trying to get by and make sure and hope that nobody's finding out what it is you're doing?
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In all ways, you're doing that. If you're doing it in one area, you're naturally and inevitably doing
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it in other areas. In your relationship, you know, when's the last time you took your wife out on a
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date? When's the last time you left a little note that said, I love you? When's the last time you
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swept up the living room or vacuumed the house when, you know, you didn't have to? When's the last
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time that you cooked dinner for her or that you went outside with little Billy and little Timmy and you
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played catch or you sat down with little Susan and had a tea party, even though maybe you were busy.
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These are little things that nobody sees. And you know what? You do that over and over and over and
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over again. And you can't help but be exceptional. You can't help but thrive. While everybody's looking
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for the low hanging fruit, I want you to climb that tree. And I want you to find those little tedious,
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monotonous, seemingly insignificant tasks and duties and responsibilities and obligations.
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When you see a piece of trash, pick it up. When you see something that needs to be cleaned,
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clean it. When you see somebody who needs to be recognized for their hard work, or maybe they're
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just having a bad day, recognize that individual. When there's an opportunity at work that doesn't
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necessarily fall within your responsibility, but you feel like you can do it and take that on,
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take that task on. When you're at the gym and you're wondering how you can push more weight,
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look at your mechanics, ask the coach, ask a coach how to do this more effectively and how to do this
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right. You do that. You may not experience results right away. That's the trap. It may take some time,
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but if you do that consistently day in and day out and reject mediocrity, reject what everybody else does,
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and instead go deep on the little things, you will always, always over the long term be exceptional.
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And excel and thrive. That was number three. Uh, number four, I changed these around a little
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bit. Number four is own the task, own the task. What I mean by this is that if you're going to
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take on a responsibility and I don't care what that responsibility is, maybe your job is to clean
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the bathroom. All right. Not something that I think most people would find joy or fulfillment
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or satisfaction in, but you know what, if you're going to do it, you better be the best damn
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janitor that ever walked the face of the earth. If you're going to go out and you're going to play
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catch, even though maybe you don't want to, cause you're tired or you want to watch a show,
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but you committed to playing catch with your son, you better have the best session of catch that he
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and you have ever had in your entire life. If you're having sex, if you're going on a date,
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if you've picked up a new project at work, if you're cleaning out your car or cleaning your office
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or mowing the lawn or whatever it is that you're doing, own the task, make it yours, take full
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responsibility for the completion of, and the standard of that task. Don't just walk through
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the motions. Don't just say, Oh, you know, this isn't a big deal. Or don't say nobody will notice
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own the task, gentlemen, like your life depends on it. I try to do that in my life. And I'll tell
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you, I don't always, I don't always do it correctly, but I try to be the best at whatever I'm doing in
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the moment. For example, as I'm doing this podcast right now, it'd be easy for me to be sidetracked.
00:23:14.000
It'd be easy for me to be distracted. It'd be easy for me to not have this thing planned out
00:23:18.320
with regards to what I want to talk with you about. It'd be easy for me to do a million other
00:23:22.340
things, but I want to be in this 15 or 20 minutes, the best podcaster that I've ever been. I want to
00:23:29.840
be better than I was yesterday and the day before and the day before. And I want this to be the best
00:23:34.400
podcast that you have ever listened to from the audio quality to the intro and the outro and the
00:23:41.760
way that I'm communicating a message and the way that you're receiving it. Every little minute detail of
00:23:47.220
this, I want to be exceptional. Now you might listen to it and say, it's not, but my goal is to
00:23:53.400
continue to thrive and be better and better and better and really step into what I'm capable of.
00:23:58.920
So number four, again, is own the task. And the fifth point that I want to make today,
00:24:05.320
very general. All right. It's, it's 30,000 foot view, but I think if you approach and use this idea
00:24:12.120
in every facet of your life, you will thrive, you'll excel. And that is to have the mindset
00:24:19.320
of excellence. And the beauty of the human mind is that we can program it. We can script it. We can
00:24:26.920
change it simply because we want to, we're not destined to, uh, just intuition, for example, or,
00:24:36.980
or the way that our ancestors did it. We have this ability of consciousness, which says that we can
00:24:42.920
change and we can evolve and we can grow. And we have this elasticity that we're capable of to expand
00:24:50.260
our capabilities, which means this is the point that I'm trying to make that you can decide today,
00:24:57.720
the minute you're listening to this podcast, that instead of having a mindset of mediocrity,
00:25:03.380
that you will now have a mindset of excellence. That as you're driving down the road, you're going
00:25:08.960
to, you're, you're going to drive the best you can. That is, you're having a conversation with a
00:25:13.800
client. You're going to put all of your effort into that and really thrive and excel and consider how
00:25:18.560
you can make this the best. When you get home, you're going to drop your, your briefcase off at
00:25:23.220
the door and you're going to make this the best homecoming that ever existed. How could you make it
00:25:28.580
better bringing your daughter flowers or just giving your son a hug and going out and playing
00:25:33.320
baseball or, uh, getting home and making dinner for your wife? Like in what ways can you excel?
00:25:40.220
In what ways can you exceed the standard or even the expectation? Like I said earlier,
00:25:46.440
we all have expectations of each other. If I know you, I have an expectation of you.
00:25:51.020
What would happen if instead of meeting my expectation, you exceeded my expectation? What if I
00:25:57.960
was your boss and I said, here's your job, A, B, and C. And instead you did A, B, C, D,
00:26:02.780
A, E, F, and G. What would that say to me as your employer about you? Don't you think you'd be the
00:26:10.820
first in line for the promotion if you did that enough? How would that play out in your relationship
00:26:15.000
with your wife and kids? How would that play out when you go to the gym? How would that play out
00:26:19.180
when you're working with a client? You will always be picked first when you have a mindset of excellence
00:26:25.400
that in all ways you're going to show up fully, that in all ways you're going to exceed the
00:26:29.900
expectation, that in all ways you're looking for opportunities to shine above and beyond what you
00:26:35.480
previously did, that in all ways you are going to excel. Guys, this is the mindset of excellence.
00:26:43.540
This is the antithesis to rejecting, or excuse me, I should say the antithesis to embracing
00:26:49.640
mediocrity, which is what most people do. I don't want you to be most people. I don't want to be most
00:26:55.460
people. I want to be somebody who is exceptional. I want to be somebody who thrives. I want to be
00:27:00.840
somebody who creates opportunities. I want to be somebody who has presented opportunities. I want
00:27:06.320
to be somebody who, when I'm lying on my deathbed or long dead and buried, that people will look to me
00:27:12.240
and say, you know what? Ryan was somebody who always took it to the next level, who always did
00:27:18.760
above and beyond what he was asked, who always looked for opportunities, who created opportunities,
00:27:24.840
who served well, who performed flawlessly at times, and who always strived to be the best.
00:27:32.040
That's who I want to be. That's who I want you to be. And I think, I think that's who you want to be,
00:27:38.840
but it's not enough to want to be excellent. It's not enough to want to reject mediocrity.
00:27:46.540
You have to act. You have to put forth effort. And as simple as I can make it sound in five easy
00:27:52.760
steps, the reality is, is that it's sometimes very difficult to do because we get inundated with
00:28:00.900
tasks and chores and we're tired. And, and we, we, we just let this human experience, if you will,
00:28:07.960
get in the way. And I know it's challenging, but put the processes in place, have the mindset of
00:28:13.440
excellence, because that will lay the foundation for everything else. Don't compare yourself to
00:28:18.200
mediocre people. Don't be okay with who you are. Learn to love yourself. That's fine.
00:28:24.660
But don't be satisfied with who you are. Learn to elevate your surroundings. What information are
00:28:30.960
you putting into your brain? What is your physical space look like? Who are the people that you're
00:28:35.360
talking with? Learn to focus on the little things, not the big things. Yes, those are important too,
00:28:40.940
but learn to focus on the little things because that's what most people overlook. And also on the task,
00:28:46.240
make it yours, take responsibility and be about it. That's it guys. That's all I've got for you.
00:28:51.320
Let's reject this idea of mediocrity. Let's step up in ways that maybe we haven't stepped up before
00:28:55.700
and really embrace the mindset of excellence. I hope that for you. I want to see you work towards
00:29:02.560
that. I am going to continue to work towards that. And I got to tell you, as we're on this journey
00:29:06.480
together and we are, we are shoulder to shoulder in this journey to reclaim masculinity. I got to tell you,
00:29:13.020
I'm inspired by you. I'm edified and uplifted by you every day. I see what you guys are doing in your marriages
00:29:18.680
and at the gym and in your careers and in your life in general. And I am inspired by that. It wants,
00:29:24.500
it makes me want to be a better man. And I've got to thank you for that. I hope that we can reciprocate
00:29:30.740
that a little bit for each other. Anyways, guys, I'll let you get out of here. You go be excellent.
00:29:35.420
I'll go be excellent. We'll catch you on Tuesday for our interview show with the one and only Ben
00:29:41.500
Greenfield. Make sure you tune in, make sure you're subscribed. And if you would, please leave a rating
00:29:45.520
and review the best compliment that you can pay me with regards to this podcast. If you've gotten
00:29:49.760
any value from it is to a leave a rating review and be share it with another man who needs to hear this
00:29:55.700
message, a brother, a colleague, a coworker, your father, a cousin, a friend, a client,
00:30:01.420
your boss, whoever it may need to be. We're all in this fight together and we need more men in the
00:30:08.240
fight to reclaim and restore masculinity. So guys, I'll let you get out of here. Make it a great
00:30:12.580
weekend. We'll catch you early next week. Go out there, be excellent, take action, become the man
00:30:17.420
you are meant to be. Thank you for listening to the Order of Man podcast. If you're ready to take
00:30:23.080
charge of your life and be more of the man you were meant to be, we invite you to join the order