Order of Man - Render Yourself Obsolete

00:00:00.000 You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest. Embrace your fears and boldly chart

00:00:05.000 your own path. When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time. Every time.

00:00:10.500 You are not easily deterred or defeated. Rugged. Resilient. Strong. This is your life. This is who

00:00:17.240 you are. This is who you will become. At the end of the day, and after all is said and done,

00:00:22.800 you can call yourself a man. Gentlemen, what is going on today? My name is Ryan Michler.

00:00:27.660 I'm the host and the founder of the Order of Man podcast and movement. Welcome here and welcome

00:00:31.880 back. I might be a little out of breath today because we just had an accident on our corner

00:00:37.760 of our house, which not to exaggerate at all, we probably had 12 to 15 accidents this year at that

00:00:47.900 corner. So hopefully they do something about it. But it actually got me thinking about what I wanted

00:00:54.260 to talk with you about today because the way that this whole thing went down with this accident at

00:00:58.820 the corner illustrated perfectly what I'm going to share with you today, which is rendering yourself

00:01:03.340 obsolete. So I've got five points, five things I wanted to share with you that are going to help

00:01:09.400 you become a more effective leader. Now, before I get into that, I do want to make a very quick

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00:02:23.400 but at a minimum, you're going to get 24% off. Again, originusa.com. All right, guys. So we're

00:02:28.080 talking about rendering yourself obsolete. Very quick story for you here. I went downstairs after

00:02:34.320 I finished a podcast that I had just done about 10, 15 minutes ago. And there was an accident outside.

00:02:41.580 And like I said, we've had 12, 15 or so more, maybe accidents on that corner. And I went out

00:02:51.420 there because I saw what had happened. My wife ran out there. My son ran out there. And by the time

00:02:55.780 that I got there, which must've been two or three minutes after this accident happened, everything

00:03:00.080 was taken care of. My son had grabbed a broom. He was assisting the elderly gentleman that was in the

00:03:05.800 car out of the car. He had already grabbed a chair. He brought the elderly gentleman into the house

00:03:10.880 where it was warmer because we're here in Maine and it's getting to be wintertime. So it's cold out

00:03:14.840 there. My wife had called the police. We had the broom. He went and got the cones. He set up cones.

00:03:21.780 So nobody would run into the car after the fact. I got out there and everything was done.

00:03:28.040 I was pleasantly surprised. I wasn't shocked because we've gone through this, like I said,

00:03:32.220 so many times, but I was pleasantly surprised that there wasn't a thing that I needed to do because

00:03:38.760 primarily my wife and son had handled it all. And this was a perfect illustration about what I

00:03:43.900 wanted to talk to you about today. Now, fortunately with the accident, everybody's okay. We've got a

00:03:47.860 couple of people in shock. We've got a one, one woman with a, with a bloody nose and the elderly

00:03:52.920 gentleman is, is okay. Like I said, just a little bit of shock, but outside of that, everybody's going

00:03:56.980 to be fine. Just banged up vehicles and whatnot. But the topic of today is rendering yourself

00:04:02.880 obsolete. And isn't that our job as leaders to put ourselves out of work, to make sure that the

00:04:08.520 people who are under your care know what they need to do in your absence, because guys, you can't be

00:04:14.900 there 100% of the time. And if you're building a team around you, whether that's your family

00:04:18.920 or your coworkers, uh, your employees, people that you mentor or coach, and they need you there

00:04:25.520 to be able to run effectively and efficiently and deal with what happens throughout life,

00:04:29.660 then you're doing them a huge disservice. And you're doing the mission, whether that's leading

00:04:33.520 again, your family or the mission of your business or the mission of your organization or charitable,

00:04:37.940 uh, company, you're doing that a big disservice when you don't render yourself obsolete. And what

00:04:44.740 I've seen is so many guys will cling on to every little thing and they micromanage and they direct

00:04:49.680 and their team can't do anything unless they're around. And that's a problem. That's not leadership.

00:04:54.600 You're actually hamstring stringing the people that you propose to lead. So let's talk about

00:05:01.140 these five steps that you can incorporate into your life to render yourself obsolete so that when

00:05:06.380 you're not around your people, your son, your daughter, your colleagues, your coworkers, your

00:05:10.660 employees, the people that you love will be able to operate even though you're not around. Number one,

00:05:14.820 you need to know your role, know your role as a leader. All right. It's arrogant. It's egotistical.

00:05:19.640 It's egocentric to believe that a leader is somebody who's going to be there forever.

00:05:24.460 And that the people that you're leading are always going to look up to you.

00:05:27.900 It feels nice. It strokes the ego, but it isn't effective leadership. If they can't do things

00:05:32.620 in your absence, you should be able to get to the point where your son or your daughter or all these

00:05:37.400 people that we're talking about are going to go on to bigger and grander and better and greater

00:05:42.420 things because you've led them effectively, not because you've hamstringed them to depend on you,

00:05:48.920 to rely on you. We want self-reliant, strong, capable individuals. You know, it's funny when

00:05:54.460 I talk about rendering yourself obsolete, people like to say things like, well, you know, as a

00:05:58.160 father, you're never obsolete. Yes. I realized that. I realized that the job changes, the description

00:06:04.540 changes. I realized the dynamics are going to be different from time to time. And that as you get

00:06:09.740 older and your children get older, for example, that that relationship is going to change. But the

00:06:14.500 point of rendering yourself obsolete is in your current situation, right? Like you should not

00:06:19.700 have to wipe your kid's ass forever, literally and figuratively. Okay. And that's the point that

00:06:25.620 I'm making here. So the first step is knowing that your job is to put yourself out of work,

00:06:30.920 but too many men won't do that because they pride themselves on being in that position indefinitely.

00:06:36.060 Guys, get over it. If you can't raise people up to replace you, to be better than you,

00:06:43.220 then that leaves no upward mobility for you. Number two, you have to develop a culture to be

00:06:48.620 able to do this. Again, whether it's in the walls of your home or your business, you need to develop

00:06:53.020 the culture that says that I am replaceable, that I am working to replace myself. You want your

00:06:58.880 quote unquote subordinates. We'll use that term. You want your subordinates to know that they should

00:07:03.320 be leading and training and inspiring other people to replace them. This is a culture of

00:07:08.780 rendering yourself obsolete. You've got to coach this stuff. You've got to give people permission

00:07:14.840 to do this. They have to acknowledge and recognize and see that you're going to give them some sort of

00:07:19.760 authority, some sort of opportunity to have some level of responsibility in their lives so that they

00:07:26.520 can improve and they can get better and you can improve and you can get better and you can have

00:07:30.240 upward mobility and so can they. But this starts with a culture. Is it a culture of selfless service

00:07:35.840 or is it a culture of arrogance and ego and pride? Because if it's a culture of arrogance, ego, and

00:07:41.640 pride, nobody's ever going to get better. You've already capped. You're hamstringing people. You've

00:07:47.500 limited their upward mobility and their upward trajectory. Or on the other hand, are you creating

00:07:52.880 a culture of selfless service, of actually caring about other people, of actually wanting to see other

00:07:58.360 people win, of giving them opportunities and responsibilities to do so. Create the culture.

00:08:03.940 Know that this is inherent or needs to be built in as an inherent feature of your organization or your

00:08:09.360 family. Number three, you have to decentralize command. As Jock would say with some of the rules

00:08:16.900 of battle, decentralizing the command. If everybody has to go through you and all the decisions need to be

00:08:22.760 funneled through you, you're a bottleneck. You're a problem. You're the problem, right? You don't have

00:08:29.160 the answers to everything. You don't have the capacity to do everything. You have the capacity

00:08:34.140 to do so much. And what you need to be considering doing is A, rendering yourself obsolete. Two,

00:08:39.940 creating that culture and understanding what your role is. And then giving people opportunities

00:08:45.200 through your express permission and through the culture that you've created to step up in your stead.

00:08:51.200 If people are afraid to step up because they don't want to step on toes when you're gone,

00:08:55.620 you're doing it wrong. You haven't done this correctly. On the other hand, if people feel

00:09:00.820 empowered that when you are gone or you are not able to make a decision, they feel empowered to be

00:09:06.300 able to make that decision in your stead, that's when you know you're on the path to rendering yourself

00:09:11.580 obsolete. And by the way, guys, this doesn't mean that your team is always going to get it right.

00:09:15.420 If I have my child or an employee do something, that doesn't mean it's going to be done 100%

00:09:21.980 correctly every time. And you need to be okay with that. Because if you want it done 100% correctly

00:09:27.580 all of the time, you might be able to get that done to some degree if you handle it yourself.

00:09:34.360 But again, where are we going? If you're doing that, you're capping your growth.

00:09:38.400 So you have to be okay with maybe not everything working out the way that you want it to,

00:09:42.900 or maybe even somebody presents a new idea that you haven't considered before because you're always

00:09:47.380 looking at the problem through your own lens. Guys, decentralize the command. Give people the

00:09:52.840 express verbal and or written authority to act in your stead. Not everybody, of course, but the right

00:10:00.780 people at the right time in the right position and empower those individuals. And when you empower

00:10:06.700 those people, you are going to create and develop this culture of rendering yourself obsolete.

00:10:12.240 I don't know, by the way, if you can hear the sirens in the background, got the fire truck on its way

00:10:17.840 to the corner right now based on that story I just told you about earlier with the accident. So you

00:10:22.860 might hear that in the background. So just deal with it. All right, guys, number four, render, excuse me,

00:10:28.280 offer feedback. All right, just because somebody, you've given somebody authority to do something

00:10:35.340 or to act in your stead like this accident. For example, my son went through the scenario. He went

00:10:40.280 through the drills. He did everything he needed to be doing. And when we're done, I'm going to offer

00:10:43.980 him some feedback. Everything that I have to share today is very constructive. It's very positive

00:10:47.920 because he handled it exactly right. The only difference today between other scenarios is that

00:10:55.180 we had this elderly gentleman who was in the accident come into our house because again, it's cold

00:10:59.740 outside. We haven't done that before because it hasn't been cold. So that's one thing that maybe changed

00:11:04.800 in the past. And so him and I will talk about why we would do that and how we would make sure that

00:11:09.060 works, but everything else was good. Guys, you got to offer feedback. Okay. I'm not talking about

00:11:14.080 completely handing over the reins of the organization or handing over the reins of your family and just

00:11:20.580 saying, here you go. I washed my hands. It's yours now. No, you're still involved. And so this is

00:11:26.940 intentional and deliberately stepping back and giving other people authority, obligations,

00:11:34.020 responsibilities, opportunities, empowerment to do the thing. Okay. But you have to offer feedback

00:11:38.660 so that they continue to get better. So that when you continue to progress and your children get

00:11:44.640 older or your employees become more proficient at a certain thing, then that feedback is what's

00:11:50.080 going to help them continue to progress, which leads into point number five. And guys, this is the

00:11:55.260 last point that I want to share with you today. I know this is a bit of a short one, but I do want to go

00:11:59.260 help and see if there's any assistance needed on my part. Okay. Number five is you need to balance

00:12:03.600 your involvement with your level of indifference. Again, we're not, I'm not talking about being

00:12:08.940 indifferent. I'm not talking about nihilism. Like, Oh, I'm done. Like, just go throw up your

00:12:15.280 hands. You guys just do whatever you want. No, that's not leadership either. That's the abdication

00:12:20.180 of leadership. True leadership is a level of involvement to the degree that you need to be involved

00:12:25.180 and then stepping back and letting your people lead in your stead and then stepping back in and

00:12:31.200 offering feedback and suggestions and constructive criticism, and then stepping back away and letting

00:12:36.000 them do something different or letting them do more than what they did before. Cause they prove

00:12:40.020 themselves capable of the previous task or obligation responsibility you assigned them with,

00:12:44.960 but guys, you need to continue to balance and it's moving, right? Like sometimes you're not going to

00:12:51.040 know exactly where that line is between being indifferent with people and then being completely

00:12:56.120 involved with these individuals that you're trying to lead. Feel it. Okay. Be intuitive about it.

00:13:02.620 Acknowledge the feedback you're getting from them or the subtle cues that they may be sharing with you

00:13:07.740 that are going to help you make the better decision about now do I get involved or now do I step away?

00:13:13.220 But ultimately you need to realize it is a balancing act and it moves. It's not finding the perfect

00:13:18.820 balance and then you're done. It's constantly shifting up and down, back away, get myself

00:13:24.320 involved, step away, insert myself into this conversation, stay out of this one, let people

00:13:30.040 give themselves maybe just enough rope to hang themselves with, but not put anything in danger,

00:13:35.180 any risk of the company or organization. Okay. Now I got to get back involved and help them move

00:13:39.760 things forward. It's a balancing act. It's, it's very dynamic and it moves and it adjusts and it

00:13:46.340 pivots based on your ultimate goals and objectives and based on the maturity and the capability of the

00:13:51.840 people that you're leading. So guys know that your job as a leader, whether that's a father,

00:13:56.480 a preacher, a mentor, a coach, a team leader, a boss, et cetera, is to put yourself out of the work

00:14:06.160 that you're currently involved in. And in order to do that, again, you need to know your role as a

00:14:11.240 leader, which is not to be involved in everything. It's just to ensure that everything gets done.

00:14:15.480 It's to empower other people through decentralized command is to develop and foster and nurture and

00:14:22.500 talk about the culture of rendering ourselves obsolete. It's about offering feedback as needed.

00:14:28.100 And then point number five, balancing involvement and indifference. There is a balancing act and you

00:14:34.940 need to find out what that is. Guys, the more you do this, the more you take this to heart,

00:14:38.420 the better leader you're going to be, the more effective your organization is going to be,

00:14:42.160 the more powerful the family dynamic is going to be, and the more successful your children and

00:14:47.340 your wife are going to be. And isn't this what we all want, right? We all want our people to be

00:14:53.300 successful, to thrive, to win, to be able to lead in our stead. And so, as I think about what went down

00:14:59.040 this afternoon with the accident on this corner, I couldn't help but feel a little sense of pride,

00:15:03.200 actually a lot of pride in knowing that my son handled himself correctly. And then also I felt

00:15:08.480 good and affirmed that the way that I lead him and the way that I lead my wife and the rest of my

00:15:15.420 children is moving in the right direction. All right, you guys, we will be back next week.

00:15:21.400 I hope you all had a great Thanksgiving, a lot to be grateful for. Please exercise and share your

00:15:28.260 gratitude for the people in your life in the wake of maybe a difficult year for some of you,

00:15:34.640 for a lot of us. Continue to share that gratitude. We'll talk more about gratitude in a future episode,

00:15:40.040 but it is really powerful when you think about all the things that you've been abundantly blessed with.

00:15:43.680 So keep a gracious heart and also make sure if you want some gift ideas, check out originusa.com,

00:15:50.480 24% off for the next 24 hours at originusa.com. Check out their geese. A lot of you guys are getting

00:15:56.360 involved in jujitsu. They just came out with a new rash guard. You can check that out there.

00:16:00.600 They've got their built field pants that they just came out with and everything else that you may be

00:16:08.380 interested in from denim to boots to shirts to hoodies to everything else. All right, guys,

00:16:12.300 check it out. We'll be back next week. Until then, go out there, take action and become the man you are

00:16:17.940 meant to be. Thank you for listening to the Order of Man podcast. You're ready to take charge of your life

00:16:23.120 and be more of the man you were meant to be. We invite you to join the Order at orderofman.com.

Order of Man - November 26, 2021

Render Yourself Obsolete ｜ FRIDAY FIELD NOTES

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