Order of Man - Render Yourself Obsolete, Less Thinking and More Action, When a Boy Becomes a Man

00:00:00.000 You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest, embrace your fears, and boldly chart

00:00:04.980 your own path. When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time, every time.

00:00:10.420 You are not easily deterred or defeated, rugged, resilient, strong. This is your life. This is who

00:00:17.220 you are. This is who you will become. At the end of the day, and after all is said and done,

00:00:22.780 you can call yourself a man. Gentlemen, what is going on today? My name is Ryan Michler,

00:00:28.080 and I am the host and the founder of the Order of Man movement. Now, normally, guys, on Wednesday,

00:00:34.020 I'm joined by my co-host, Mr. Kip Sorensen. Unfortunately, he won't be joining us today.

00:00:39.940 He's got some other meetings and some things he's dealing with and doing, so you get to hear from

00:00:45.060 just me today, and I'm going to be answering and fielding your questions. He sent me a message,

00:00:50.800 an email, and it said that I'm going to be fielding questions from Instagram, and I think if we get

00:00:55.780 through all the Instagram questions, then we will get back over to the Facebook questions.

00:01:00.640 And by the way, guys, if you do have questions, the best place I would say to submit those questions

00:01:05.000 so that Kip and I can answer those for you is in the Facebook group, which can be found at

00:01:09.340 facebook.com slash groups slash order of man. So I've reviewed some of these questions, not all of

00:01:14.520 them, and hopefully I can give you some solid answers, at least point you in the right direction.

00:01:19.800 If I know the answer, I'll do my best to answer it. And if I don't, I'll let you know that too.

00:01:23.400 So just hanging out here at home, doing some work, man, things are really growing and expanding

00:01:28.200 over the past four weeks. The social media sites and platforms continue to grow, which is good.

00:01:35.140 You know, I'm glad that what we're sharing with you is resonating, and hopefully we have some

00:01:39.260 information that is helping you become a more capable man. Because if you are joining us for

00:01:43.320 the first time, that's what this podcast and this movement is all about. I don't usually do

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00:03:12.680 with that, let me, uh, let me pull up these questions here. I've got them listed here and

00:03:17.140 we'll get through as many of them as we possibly can. And if I butcher your username on Instagram,

00:03:22.060 well, just get a different username. If you don't like it, I'll do the, I'll do my best.

00:03:27.020 All right. So first question, here we go. This is from AZ wildcat 97. He says, or she says,

00:03:34.360 I don't know, Ryan, what is the single most important trait you want to have your kids take

00:03:39.400 with them when they are adults? Uh, I think that's a pretty easy answer. You know, I try to

00:03:44.900 go through these questions as best I can. And that one was pretty easy for me. It's self-reliance.

00:03:49.020 If I can teach my, my four children, I've got a 12 year old, a nine year old, a six year old,

00:03:55.780 and a four year old. If I can teach them self-reliance and the ability to be independent

00:04:01.300 and the ability to be resourceful and find ways to make their own way, then I feel like I've done

00:04:07.260 my job as a father. I've often said that our job is fathers is to render ourselves obsolete.

00:04:13.000 And that doesn't mean that we won't be needed or won't be wanted. Uh, it just means that our

00:04:18.140 children, when that time comes, and hopefully that's at age 18, not any later, uh, are able to

00:04:24.520 go out on their own and do their thing and go to school and get their education and get into a career

00:04:30.280 and pick a worthy partner and all of the things that you would want for them. But a lot of that is

00:04:34.920 going to come down to what you have done, uh, by way of, of fathering them and by teaching them

00:04:40.700 self-reliance, resiliency, fortitude, grit, uh, critical thinking, being able to think on their

00:04:47.160 own, uh, also exposing them to the consequences of their decisions. I think a lot of the reasons that,

00:04:53.380 uh, kids, uh, and, and young men and young women don't, uh, or, or aren't as self-reliant as maybe

00:04:59.660 they ought to be is because the parent or the adult, uh, never really allow that allowed them

00:05:05.920 to experience the weight of their decisions. They rescued them. They saved them. They bubble

00:05:10.700 wrapped them and coddled them and kept them from any sort of hardship and adversity. Uh, and then

00:05:16.140 it's no surprise that these young men and women are, are going out into the world and getting there,

00:05:22.180 getting kicked in the teeth because they've never experienced it before. So you re you really need

00:05:26.820 to let your kids experience the weight of the decisions they're making in a controlled environment.

00:05:31.380 Obviously you don't want them to be hurt physically, mentally, and emotionally. Uh, but that's what a

00:05:37.000 parent's job is, is to expose your children to hardship. And as a father, again, ultimately render

00:05:43.000 yourself obsolete. All right. Next rocket propelled Haas says, how much time did you spend, spend in the

00:05:50.160 brainstorm slash research phase of your movement? At what point did thought turn into action?

00:05:57.760 So Haas, I'll tell you for me, if I err on the side of either action or planning, it's usually on

00:06:07.000 the action side. I usually, again, if I err, it's, it's going too hard too quickly. And sometimes I leave a,

00:06:13.760 a wake of collateral damage in my path. So, uh, I don't remember the exact timeline, but I will say

00:06:21.480 that I had the idea, uh, to, to, to start this, this podcast initially in, in March of 2015 is when

00:06:28.780 I started. Uh, I would probably say that I got serious about it maybe in January of that same

00:06:34.740 year. So I spent a couple of months, two, three months planning it, organizing it, thinking what I

00:06:40.840 wanted to do. It may not have even been that long. It made a, may have been like 30 days, frankly.

00:06:46.260 Um, the, the law, the thing that took me the longest is to come up with a name.

00:06:50.360 I spent, I spent weeks thinking about, okay, what name should I use? What am I trying to create?

00:06:55.180 What websites are available? What social media handles are available? So I spent a lot of time

00:06:59.480 trying to figure out, uh, the naming. And then once I had that, I launched, I just went,

00:07:05.320 cause I, I figured I could grow it and, and, and develop it and articulate it and improve it and tweak it

00:07:09.680 and adjust it. As I, as I went, uh, we had a great podcast several weeks ago with a former rocket

00:07:16.080 scientist. His name is Ozan Virol. Uh, and, and in his book, think like a rocket scientist. One of

00:07:22.080 the things that he talks about is building, building the plane as you fly and flying the plane as you

00:07:27.540 build. So you, you just got to go, you just got to launch and know that whatever you do, regardless

00:07:33.140 how much planning and research, uh, you, you put into this thing, it's going to change. So you might as

00:07:39.380 well just launch with a minimum viable product and get it out in the world. And then based on the

00:07:45.080 feedback and what you like and don't like about what you're doing, you tweak, adjust and drive on,

00:07:49.820 but it didn't take me very long at all. Maybe several months, uh, faith in him. Seven says,

00:07:55.120 what is the best thing that you think will happen in society as a result of this pandemic?

00:08:01.900 Uh, I, I think, so I wrote the book, sovereignty, the battle for the hearts and minds of men

00:08:07.340 in, I think I released it in February of 2018. Yeah. Cause it's been two years. So February of 2018.

00:08:16.580 And I think that, that, that the time we're experiencing right now, the things that we're

00:08:21.980 experiencing right now are only going to help magnify that message, which is to be independent

00:08:28.600 to, to not be dependent on anybody or anything else and to become a completely sovereign man.

00:08:37.240 And that is to not have to be reliant upon a job or what somebody else is doing, or even

00:08:44.320 culture or economics to be completely self-reliant. And as people experience hardships,

00:08:52.400 and I know there's a lot of people struggling and hurting right now, financially, physically,

00:08:56.620 mentally, uh, I think what we're going to see more and more of is people becoming independent

00:09:03.320 and using this as a wake-up call to realize that the life that they've been living is potentially

00:09:09.200 somebody else's life and how much they've put themselves at the mercy of extenuating and outside

00:09:14.340 circumstances. So I hope that people, and I, and I see this, that people will become more self-reliant,

00:09:20.420 uh, that they will get their finances in order, that they will begin to take better control and care

00:09:25.760 of their health. They'll lose weight. They'll get strong. They'll eat right. They'll get the sleep

00:09:29.020 they need. Uh, they'll start investing in the relationships that are actually valuable as

00:09:34.840 opposed to just like dinging around on Instagram or Facebook all day, all night without any real

00:09:39.580 connection to their wife, their kids, their friends, their family. Uh, and we'll start to

00:09:43.640 reprioritize what is important and what isn't. So this is, this is my hope. And, and I see it,

00:09:49.620 you know, I see it in you guys who are listening and we're plugged into what we're doing. And

00:09:52.640 I hope we continue to see more of that. All right. S Dortega 10. I believe that's what it is. S

00:09:59.520 Dortega 10 says, thanks for all the great messages you put out into the world in a time where people

00:10:04.160 need to hear them the most. You are welcome. It's my privilege and honor to be able to do this.

00:10:09.560 AJ S R C five, AJ S A R C five. I don't know how you pronounce that, but AJ S A R C five.

00:10:16.540 Uh, I have two kids under three. That's hard. I know it is. We've done it. Uh, wife and I both

00:10:23.240 work from home. Kids are now at home full time. How do I force my ass out of bed at 4 AM when I

00:10:29.840 feel like I'm falling apart from exhaustion, but I know I need to get up. Well, I will tell you,

00:10:34.920 I don't get up at 4 AM because that's early and I don't want to get up at 4 AM. I usually get up at

00:10:40.920 about 6 AM 530 to six, somewhere in there. Uh, so maybe you don't need to get up at 4 AM. I think

00:10:48.500 this is one of the traps of self-help is we look at what other people are doing. And we think because

00:10:52.420 another person is doing it, who's highly ambitious and motivated and successful and disciplined that

00:10:58.140 we need to do the exact same thing that those individuals do. I think generally, I would say

00:11:04.220 that there's some practices that you can implement, like getting up early is a good thing. So you can do

00:11:09.940 your work and get to it, but you don't need to get up at 4 AM. That's, that's what I would say

00:11:14.840 first. Now, if you work at five or five 30, maybe you do, but it all depends on your situation.

00:11:21.380 So you got to take that into consideration. Uh, also with two kids under three, um, you know,

00:11:28.840 you, you need to set up some routines for them. I don't know what time they go to bed. Uh, if they go

00:11:32.740 to bed late, then you ought to consider setting up the routine. So they go to bed early. So you have

00:11:37.800 some time with you and your wife before bed. Uh, maybe you're not going to watch TV. Cause I

00:11:42.940 actually think TV does the opposite for you when it comes to sleeping. Like you think you're sitting

00:11:47.900 on the couch relaxing, but you're not, you're, you're, you're getting all worked up. You get

00:11:52.160 the blue light coming into your brain. Uh, it's, it's not good and it's not conducive for a proper

00:11:57.200 night's rest. So I would say, turn off the TV, maybe read a book. Uh, that, that would be a better

00:12:03.780 way. I think to relax, um, make sure your bedroom is set up for sleep so that when you are sleeping,

00:12:09.120 it's maximum efficiency. Uh, make sure it's cool in the house. Make sure it's completely black and

00:12:15.260 dark in there. Keep your phones and your electronics away from you. These are all things that you can do.

00:12:20.140 I realized with kids under three, it becomes a challenge because they may be getting up in the

00:12:24.980 middle of the night and things like that. Um, I don't know if, if your wife is breastfeeding,

00:12:29.820 but if she is, you know, then she's getting out of bed and she's taking care of the kids,

00:12:33.600 or maybe, maybe she's not. And you're getting up. I mean, there's so many circumstances here.

00:12:38.180 So I would say you don't need to force yourself to get out of bed at 4.00 AM, unless you feel like

00:12:42.660 you want to do that. Make sure you put the kids down at a proper time, turn off the electronics,

00:12:47.300 turn off the TV before, uh, sleep, maybe even learn to take a nap during the day. You know,

00:12:52.080 maybe there's a 30 or 45 minute segment in there somewhere where you can, you know, sneak away and

00:12:57.540 talk with your wife about this, but get a few, uh, get a few, uh, minutes of, of extra sleep.

00:13:03.080 There's things you can do. Uh, you just got to work it and it'll change, man. It'll change. I

00:13:06.640 promise it'll change. It'll get better. It'll improve. You might just be in the stage of life

00:13:10.840 and welcome to fatherhood. All right. The Ryan M hunt, uh, says, what did you think of the most,

00:13:17.220 uh, recent London real with David Ike? Uh, I enjoyed it. I actually enjoyed it. I think they've done,

00:13:23.740 um, Brian Rose has done two interviews, two or three with David Ike. And I think he's

00:13:27.520 got a third one coming out. Um, I really like Brian, uh, Brian and I are friends. I think highly

00:13:32.480 of what he's doing, uh, with London real and the London real army. Uh, I think it's pretty

00:13:38.240 disturbing, frankly, how, how much that interview has been banned and how much Brian and David Ike

00:13:46.200 have been blocked. I don't agree with everything David Ike said. Um, I think he's taken it to the

00:13:51.760 extreme. Uh, and, and I think there's maybe some validity to some of the things that he's talking

00:13:56.960 about. And it's certainly things that we ought to be aware of. And basically, if you aren't

00:14:00.580 familiar, it's the controversy of, of five G and Corona virus. And, uh, I think he refers to the

00:14:07.800 powers that be as the cult that is orchestrating all of this. So, um, you know, I generally don't

00:14:13.720 get wrapped up in conspiracy theories, but it's interesting. It's entertaining. That's for sure.

00:14:18.120 Uh, but it is interesting and something to be very aware of and, uh, just take with a grain of salt

00:14:23.520 because I don't think everything is as grand or elaborate as he's made out to be, but things to

00:14:30.440 be aware of. All right. Single speed, Ben, single speed, Ben best book to give your spouse or to read

00:14:38.100 myself to help motivate her to start being productive exercise and find enjoyable hobbies.

00:14:43.180 Ben, look, I got to tell you, I don't, I don't actually see this like going over all that well,

00:14:50.040 frankly, uh, because if you give her a book and, and it's the, the underlying reason, the motive is

00:14:59.240 to motivate her to start being productive, to exercise, to find enjoyable hobbies. I think maybe

00:15:04.600 you have her best interest at heart, but it might not be well received based on the situation

00:15:10.760 and the place she is. Uh, I would say more for you is you start being that way. You start being as

00:15:18.660 productive as possible. You start exercising every single day. You participate in enjoyable hobbies

00:15:23.880 and let her see firsthand experience the benefits of you, uh, stepping into those things. And I think

00:15:32.580 naturally and inevitably, uh, she will be influenced by that. My wife is influenced when she sees me go out

00:15:38.360 in the morning or the middle of the day and do a 45 to an hour long exercise. She's, she's motivated

00:15:45.040 by that. And also consider that your way of being productive is not her way of being productive. My

00:15:52.140 wife and I are completely different from this perspective. I want to read self-development. I want

00:15:56.760 to take courses. Like these are the things that I'm interested in self-help self-development. Uh, she's

00:16:01.940 very interested in hobbies. Beekeeping is one of her hobbies right now. Uh, she's growing plants in the

00:16:06.340 house, uh, as she gets those ready to take outside. These are things I'm not necessarily interested in,

00:16:12.080 but it doesn't mean that she's being less productive because she's doing that and not

00:16:15.940 reading a self-help book. So I would, I would really explore. Are there some, some things that

00:16:22.500 she's interested in or even just express some level of interest? And then how could you foster and

00:16:28.240 facilitate more of that? So if she's talking about one day, you know, you're eating dinner and she says,

00:16:34.480 you know, I'd, I'd really like to grow a garden. That should be a light bulb moment for you. Like

00:16:39.460 there's an opportunity to, to appreciate the fact that she brought it up. She's being assertive.

00:16:44.960 She's sharing what's, what's on her mind, what she's interested in. And then that should be a key,

00:16:51.140 a warning, a trigger, not a warning, but a trigger that this is something that you ought to foster in

00:16:55.160 her. So if she's talking about a garden, maybe you get her a subscription to a garden gardening

00:17:00.420 magazine, or you find a book that's on gardening and you buy it. You don't tell her about it.

00:17:04.020 You just buy it and you say, Hey, hon, I was on Amazon looking for a book the other day. And you

00:17:08.000 had said something about wanting to start a garden. And I saw this book. So I figured I'd get it for

00:17:13.340 you. This is how you facilitate growth and progress and expansion in her and do it in a way that lets

00:17:20.820 her know that you care about her. And it, and, and I don't, I don't think she'll misread or

00:17:26.080 misinterpret that. But if you just give her like a self-help book, like how to lose weight in 30 days,

00:17:31.160 like, of course, she's going to take that the wrong way, right? You left that window open.

00:17:35.920 So just, just listen for what she says and then foster it. And you know, maybe she doesn't like

00:17:40.640 gardening. She does it for, she reads the book. He's like, yeah, that sounds lame. And then she

00:17:44.520 talks about, you know, I've always wanted to learn to play the guitar. Cool. Then take that path. And

00:17:49.920 this is how you foster this. And not only a wife, but your children as well. These are the things that

00:17:53.940 we should be doing as men. All right. Uh, Gillies farm, I would say, maybe I pronounced that wrong,

00:17:59.980 but Gillies, Gillies fam, excuse me, not farm Gillies fam. What are your thoughts on adult ADHD?

00:18:05.540 It seems to be more prevalent in men. Uh, any advice on managing it or at least managing

00:18:10.200 distractibility? Um, you look, I'm not a medical doctor. I don't know like what, what's actually

00:18:17.640 ADHD and what is not, and what's just people are distracted a lot of the times and, and interested

00:18:25.260 in a lot of different things. I have personal friends of mine who, who, who maybe you would

00:18:30.180 say have ADHD, but, uh, I found that those individuals who are most successful with, with,

00:18:36.760 with this type of behavior are the ones who facilitate it and foster it. So if they're interested

00:18:42.300 in something, they explore that rabbit hole, they go down that rabbit hole and they, they become

00:18:46.680 productive. I think the reason that maybe we see it more prevalent in men is because we're hardwired

00:18:52.720 to be doers. We're hardwired to go out. We're hardwired to look for problems. We're hardwired to

00:18:57.900 try to solve problems. We're hardwired to tinker and to explore and to look for new ways to expand

00:19:03.700 our capabilities and improve our situation. So I think this is probably why you see it more prevalent

00:19:09.040 in men, especially in boys too. You know, you think about young boys at school, they're told to sit

00:19:14.540 down, to shut up, to color within the lines, to listen, to pay attention. And then if they fall

00:19:18.400 outside of that norm, quote unquote norm, that standard, then it's because they have ADHD.

00:19:24.780 Well, maybe they're just not interested in reading from a book and maybe they just want to go burn

00:19:28.280 ants. Right. And, and maybe they don't, they want to play in the dirt. Uh, and they want to,

00:19:33.320 they want to play football and they want to be more active. So experiential learning in young men is

00:19:38.200 very, very important, but I don't think it changes for men, for adults. I think that we are forced

00:19:45.120 into a cubicle, uh, to type away on a computer and a keypad all day, uh, to, you know, stare at

00:19:51.640 these electronics. And I honestly believe it's, it's soul sucking in a lot of ways. So you need to find a

00:19:58.820 way to foster that, go outside, shoot guns, shoot an arrow, go to jujitsu. When this whole thing clears

00:20:05.860 up, have friends, pick up hobbies, build something, work with your hands, exercise. I think all of

00:20:12.200 these things will help if you're feeling distracted, uh, and non-productive and you're going like in a

00:20:17.380 million different directions, pick one and like really go deep into that, that Avenue and see

00:20:21.520 where it takes you. Excuse me. All right. Um, Mark Anthony 27. Hey Ryan, I still live at home with

00:20:29.000 my grandparents. Any suggestions for how to handle this and be as prepared as possible? Well, Mark, I don't,

00:20:35.120 I don't know how old you are. Um, you know, if you're young, if you're, if you're 18 or younger,

00:20:39.700 then I think you're looking at this right way. How do you handle this? Uh, you need to get your

00:20:44.320 finances in order. You need to learn some basic things like how to cook meals for yourself, um,

00:20:50.160 how to do the laundry, you know, like how to keep your space clean and organized. Uh, maybe you ought

00:20:56.500 to look for a job. I don't know if you have a job, but look for a job, figure out ways to, uh, to

00:21:02.040 interview and be successful in that endeavor. Learn how to network, go where other people are

00:21:06.360 specifically motivated, successful, and ambitious men. Because if you surround yourself with those

00:21:12.080 types of individuals, it's likely that you will pick up on some of their traits and develop that

00:21:16.220 for yourself. So again, I don't know how old you are, but if you're young, I commend you for thinking

00:21:19.940 about this. Uh, and I would say, learn how to manage your money, learn how to network, go network,

00:21:25.660 uh, get a good job, uh, develop new skills, explore hobbies and interests and activities,

00:21:31.660 and generally learn how to make yourself self-reliant. I would say, even if you're older,

00:21:36.000 that you should have already maybe been doing that, but Hey, whatever you're doing it now.

00:21:40.300 So those are the things that you ought to be aware of and focused on, and then get out on your

00:21:44.020 own as quickly as you possibly can. Pete borrows. What do you love most about Maine? Oh my goodness,

00:21:49.660 man. There's so much about Maine. I love it here. Um, the people are great. Some of the most friendly,

00:21:55.180 kind, courteous people that I've ever met. Um, I've got some great friends in, in Pete and Brian

00:22:01.920 and the entire origin crew. Uh, the outdoors is amazing. Falls. It's all amazing. Winter is

00:22:10.000 beautiful. The fall is amazing. Spring is almost here. Uh, and it's nice to see the grass and the

00:22:16.720 fields and to be able to walk our fields. I, I don't know if I could just isolate it to one thing.

00:22:22.120 Our home is we're very fortunate with this home that we live in. There's just so much to be

00:22:26.720 thankful for here. And, uh, we love it all. Trevor Watson. He says he graduates from college

00:22:33.020 next spring. I've decided to join the military after I graduate. Anytime I talk with my mother

00:22:37.960 about it, she shuts it down. That makes sense. Uh, we have a great relationship. We were very close,

00:22:42.800 but she does not want me to go. That also makes sense. I have felt compelled to join for a while

00:22:47.640 and I know it is the right decision. Do you have any advice on how to smooth things over with her?

00:22:52.440 Is there anything I can get her in my corner, given the possible threat to my life? Uh, no,

00:22:57.720 frankly, like there really isn't like, what are you going to say? She knows what the military is.

00:23:01.980 She knows what you're doing. She knows what you're risking. You're her little baby,

00:23:06.140 her little boy, and it's a natural. And you should be, you should be flattered by that. She means she,

00:23:11.440 it means she loves you. She cares about you. Um, so there's nothing that's going to help her feel

00:23:15.700 better about that decision other than you explain it to her, why it's so important to you,

00:23:22.420 why you feel compelled to do it. Uh, and, and I think she probably sees that, you know,

00:23:28.840 obviously she cares about you. She wouldn't have these types of feelings if she didn't.

00:23:32.440 Uh, so she probably wants your, your, your success and your wellbeing. So, uh, just explain to her why

00:23:38.040 it's so important for you, uh, why you want to go, why you want to train in the military,

00:23:42.640 what your goals and ambitions are within the military and how it fits into your scheme of life

00:23:47.120 as best you can. Uh, and that's all you can do. You know, I wish I could tell you, if you just say

00:23:52.260 the secret formula phrase, then, you know, she'll feel so much better about it. She won't, she's

00:23:56.680 obviously got reservations about it. Uh, and, and I'm sure that it's, it's not to the point where,

00:24:01.940 you know, she, she doesn't want to talk at all to you anymore, or she's upset with you. She's just

00:24:06.120 upset with the situation. So just be the best you can be. And I explained to her why you're doing it,

00:24:11.320 be a committed soldier or warrior, whatever branch you're going into, uh, and, and get after it and

00:24:18.000 keep her in the loop. You know, just keep communicating with her. That's, that's the

00:24:20.820 biggest thing. Don't ghost her. Keep communicating with her. All right. Phillip Jeffrey 10. Can we expect

00:24:26.520 any order of man merch after they get done getting after it? Of course, I'm not sure what that second

00:24:31.580 part means, but we do have order of man merch. We've got hats, we've got shirts, we've got battle

00:24:36.900 planners, we've got wallets, we've got flags, we've got decals. We've got, I don't know. I'm sure I

00:24:43.580 missed something in there, but we've got, we've got merchandise head to store.orderofman.com.

00:24:49.800 All right. Scott MCCL 15. Uh, this is an interesting one. Shame on this God forsaken country

00:24:57.460 and it's global elite daddies running it to the ground. All will be forced to Amos 412 coming soon.

00:25:05.080 Okay. There it is. I'm not sure that that's a question, but there it is. Uh, we deal in lead.

00:25:11.500 I have a small knife making gun. Let me try this again. I have a small knife making business.

00:25:18.400 I currently make less than 10 grand a year from it, but it's on the rise. Would it be beneficial tax

00:25:24.980 wise to legitimize the business? Uh, not, no, probably not from a tax perspective. Again,

00:25:32.860 let me just put this disclaimer out there. I'm not a, I'm not an accountant. I'm not a CPA,

00:25:37.240 not a financial advisor anymore, but from a, from a tax perspective, no, whether you're a sole

00:25:42.580 proprietorship or just you as an individual, like it sounds like you are now or an LLC,

00:25:47.100 uh, it's all passed through. And what that means is that the income comes into the business. Let's

00:25:53.200 just say it's since your, your Instagram handle is we deal in lead. Let's just assume that that's

00:25:57.700 your business name. Okay. So you have income coming into, we deal in lead a pass-through

00:26:02.700 entity means that the income passes from, we deal in lead to you as an individual. It's not taxed at

00:26:08.400 a business or a corporate level. And then also taxed at an individual level. It's, it's only taxed once

00:26:14.460 as a sole proprietor or an LLC or an individual without a license, uh, without a business that is.

00:26:20.400 So from the, from a tax perspective, probably not, um, there may be some, some benefits to the way

00:26:29.220 that you pay yourself. And maybe if you're married, the way that you pay, like my, my wife gets paid

00:26:35.160 and I get paid, even though she isn't like technically working in the business is the way

00:26:38.740 that we set up our, our organization. Uh, you can pay yourself some, some dividends as opposed to

00:26:45.540 income. And then the dividends are not subject to, um, uh, I believe it's the, uh, I'm going to get

00:26:53.520 this wrong, but I think you guys will understand what I mean. It's not, I'll just say this. It's

00:26:56.360 not subject to the same level of taxation. Okay. Again, I'm not an accountant or CPA. You can,

00:27:01.100 you can talk with somebody, but if you pay yourself dividends, it's not subject to the same level of

00:27:05.460 taxation. So I guess that would be a tax benefit. Mostly the reason though, uh, that you would, uh,

00:27:11.860 you would set up a business entity is to keep yourself from some sort of liability,

00:27:16.000 especially with a small knife making business. Like if you're making knives and let's say one

00:27:20.300 of those knives breaks, or, uh, there's some negligence on your part and it, and it cuts somebody

00:27:25.700 or they lose a finger or, or something like there's a potential lawsuit on your hands. And if it's just

00:27:31.940 you as an individual, now they're going to come after your personal assets, your car, your house,

00:27:36.260 whatever assets, bank account, et cetera, et cetera. But if you have it as a business, like for example,

00:27:41.720 quote unquote, we deal in lead as the business, then they're going to potentially sue the business.

00:27:47.680 Okay. Well then that doesn't go down to you as an individual. So there's some,

00:27:51.940 some legal reasons why you might want to legitimize the business too. So from a tax perspective,

00:27:57.960 the income, the dividends versus wages, that might make a little bit of a difference,

00:28:01.800 especially if you're making $10,000 and more. Uh, and then the, the legality, the legal

00:28:06.960 ramifications. So I would, at this point, I would probably consider setting up a business.

00:28:11.720 Pop up line thoughts on the stimulus package and how it seems our government will do anything in

00:28:16.220 its power to keep people from struggling, uh, instead of facing challenges and growing stronger.

00:28:21.180 Yeah, I agree. I think that's ultimately the play. You know, if we can get people, I say,

00:28:26.040 we, if the government can get people dependent on it's, it's giving hand, uh, then, then it has more

00:28:33.180 power. And that's ultimately the antithesis of what I talk about in the book sovereignty that I

00:28:37.920 mentioned earlier. Like we have subjected ourselves to governments and we think that,

00:28:41.820 Oh, you know, the government will come in and rescue us and save us. And if you don't believe

00:28:45.060 that, that's fine. But I'm telling you, there's millions and millions, probably hundreds of

00:28:48.440 millions of people that actually believe that the thing that government has their best interest at

00:28:53.280 heart. And that just isn't true. So the stimulus package, the $1,200 or whatever you're going to be

00:28:58.980 receiving, although it may help put some food on the table, uh, it may pay the mortgage.

00:29:04.580 It's certainly not a fix. In fact, it's, it's, it's going to hinder you in the long run because

00:29:11.260 now you're more dependent. And there's even talk about increasing that and giving people

00:29:15.460 income on a monthly basis until, until like, this is the thing they say until this whole

00:29:20.940 coronavirus fallout and is gone in the, in the economy is better. Like the government doesn't

00:29:26.320 do away with benefits. Like once a benefit is established, the government doesn't do away

00:29:31.360 with it ever. So this isn't going away. If we give people money on a monthly basis, especially

00:29:36.460 more money than they make at their current job, like what would, why would they go back

00:29:40.680 to work? And it's not going to go away. If anything, it's going to grow just like Medicare

00:29:46.160 and Medicaid and social security benefits and all these other things. Uh, it's just going

00:29:50.080 to grow and it's going to become a bigger and bigger issue to deal with down the road.

00:29:53.900 So it's a dangerous precedent. Um, it's unfortunate that people are in a difficult

00:29:59.020 circumstance. It's unfortunate that there's a lot of businesses that aren't viable in

00:30:03.280 times like this, but these are the times that we learn and we need to experience the

00:30:07.540 pain. We need to experience the pain because if we don't experience the pain that we don't

00:30:11.980 learn and grow from it. So yeah, I mean, this is the same thing parents do, you know, they

00:30:16.040 want to keep their kids from experiencing the hardship. Well, that's all fine and great in the

00:30:20.320 short term, but over the long haul, it doesn't save anybody. In fact, it hinders them, it cripples

00:30:24.340 them and keeps them from doing great things in their lives. The real Thomas, uh, Olski.

00:30:31.800 I think that's what it is. The real Thomas Olski. He says, we're well past the half hour

00:30:36.140 mark. Oh, that's cause I was asking questions for a half hour, but he says besides guns, ammo

00:30:40.500 and a few rods, what would be your next tool on the list for bug out chainsaw? Um, no, I

00:30:48.280 don't, I don't think, I mean, having a chainsaw is good, but I don't think I'd have a chainsaw

00:30:52.660 in a, in a bug out bag. I just think that's too, like, it's going to be too big and too

00:30:57.880 bulky to carry around. I mean, you're probably going to have some food. Um, some like, I like

00:31:03.060 mountain house meals because you just need water. Uh, you need to boil it. So, uh, that,

00:31:09.320 that, that's something I would have in there. Um, clothing, right. A blanket, things like

00:31:14.280 that would be important. A filter water filtration system would be important. Um, so yeah, besides

00:31:20.540 guns and ammo and rods, that that's what I'd have some sort of freeze dried food, water

00:31:25.340 filtration, clothing, uh, tools, maybe a hatchet, things like that, but probably not a chainsaw.

00:31:31.600 No shoe dog. 2701. Bly says, uh, he's, he's referring to Robert Bly. Um, and iron John.

00:31:42.860 He says, Bly says that at the age of nine, a boy loses his golden ball. Did you experience

00:31:49.500 that? I was nine when I was told my stepdad wasn't my real father. It's caused years of

00:31:56.060 self doubt. And why wasn't I enough? All that has changed since my mom has passed. And I met

00:32:02.260 my biologic father and the truth was told. Uh, I don't know. I mean the, the, the golden

00:32:08.600 ball, the way I understand it represents, you know, innocence, right? It, it, you lose

00:32:13.100 the golden ball, you lose your innocence. And I think for all men, we need to experience

00:32:17.400 that at some point, whether it's nine or whether it's 35, like all men need to need to experience

00:32:24.640 the loss of the golden ball. It's very important. In fact, most cultures throughout history have

00:32:30.660 understood this. And what we do is we ritualize it for our young men. So the boys at a certain

00:32:37.420 age, whether that's nine or 12 or 16 or whatever, the culture dictates will quite literally be taken

00:32:43.520 away from his mother, quite literally taken away from the women. And it would be thrust into a very

00:32:50.040 demanding and difficult circumstance, physically, mentally, and emotionally with the men. And once he

00:32:56.260 passes that test, then the men welcome him. And they usually signify that with some sort of,

00:33:02.620 uh, sacrifice or painful ritual, like circumcision or other, uh, scars or tattoos that ritualizes or

00:33:12.440 that crystallizes the experience. Like you are now one of us, you welcome to manhood. We don't really

00:33:19.020 have that in, in modern culture. And so it's replaced with, uh, things like sports or military service,

00:33:28.780 uh, even gang activity, but it's inferior to what the tribesmen, what the, what the men of the tribe

00:33:36.000 should be doing because they're not, they're not talking about morality. They're not talking about,

00:33:42.200 uh, what it means to be a man. And it's all replaced with this faux sense of what it means to be a man.

00:33:48.500 So, you know, I don't know if I lost it at nine. Uh, what really opened my eyes was definitely the book

00:33:54.680 Iron John, but also another great book is wild at heart by John Eldridge. And I didn't read that book

00:34:00.160 until I was 34, 35 years old. And it really opened my eyes to like my relationship with my mother.

00:34:10.580 And this actually goes into the question. The gentleman asked earlier about his decision to

00:34:15.440 join the military and how his mom doesn't like that. Well, maybe you didn't ever lose the golden

00:34:22.580 ball, right? You're still clinging to your mother and she wants you to. That's the thing is that

00:34:27.540 sometimes a mother's intuition is a direct odds with the transition from boy to a man. Like the,

00:34:35.480 the mom doesn't want her little boy to become a man because what happens? Like, I'll tell you this,

00:34:40.060 what happened with my mother and I, when I got married, she was very, very upset. Not like with me,

00:34:46.860 not with my fiance, but she was upset because she was at that point realizing she was losing her

00:34:54.820 quote unquote, little boy, all women, all mothers will experience this. And it's a direct odds with

00:35:01.880 what you as a man need to do at some point. So yeah, you do need to lose your innocence.

00:35:06.380 You do need to lose the connection, uh, with, with your mother at some point.

00:35:11.960 Um, and hopefully it's sooner rather than later, but if it's, if it's later, you know, at 18,

00:35:17.740 like I'm assuming or, or older, like this gentleman is who, who asked earlier, um, at some point he's

00:35:23.280 gotta, he's gotta come to the realization that he needs to separate from the women. I hope that

00:35:28.060 answers answers. It's kind of a roundabout way, but iron John's a great book wild at heart. It's

00:35:31.680 another great book that talks a lot about the, the connection and then ultimate separation between

00:35:36.620 boy and mom. We juice F3. I have a friend who grew up in a much better financial financial situation

00:35:44.520 than I did. And he was a very good and has a very good paying job. Now, uh, I'm worried about not

00:35:50.300 being able to take care of my wife like he is. And I'm wondering if this is a time to change

00:35:55.020 industries. Uh, I work in a brewery currently and like working with my hands, but I also feel

00:36:02.400 so in my head, I'm not sure where to start thought process going through. All right. Well,

00:36:08.460 so there's a lot to unpack here. Um, first you're comparing yourself to another individual. That's,

00:36:13.480 that's a, that's a danger. And now looking at what people are doing and being inspired by it is

00:36:17.680 different, but I think you're falling into the comparison trap here and you better be careful

00:36:21.360 with that game because there's always somebody who's more successful financially or whatever metric

00:36:25.940 you want to look at. So compare yourself to you and who you were yesterday, not to who this guy is.

00:36:31.880 Doesn't his life has no relevancy in yours. Okay. What he makes and how he takes care of his wife

00:36:36.840 or his family has no relevancy in the way that you take care of yours, unless you're learning skills

00:36:41.300 and things that he knows so that you can improve yours. That that's it. All right. I'm he, you also

00:36:46.120 say, I'm worried about not being able to take care of my wife. Good. You should be worried about

00:36:50.860 that. You're a man. Those are things that you should, should be concerned with. And the fact that you are

00:36:55.960 worried about that means you care about that. It means you want to improve and grow and become

00:37:00.180 more capable and make more money and provide more resources to the family. That's all good.

00:37:05.140 Don't look at that as a negative. That's very important that you feel that way. Some people

00:37:07.940 would say, Oh, you should just be happy with the way you are and how you feel. And you shouldn't

00:37:11.220 have worries in the world. Well, that's real nice, but that doesn't drive you to become a better,

00:37:16.120 more capable man. So I think having the frustrations and concerns about being able to provide effectively

00:37:22.500 for your family is actually a good thing. It drives you to do better. It could be taken out of

00:37:26.300 context and to the extreme and hinder you, but healthy worry and concern and doubt is valuable.

00:37:34.840 Now, as far as changing industries, I don't know. I mean, I can't tell you whether you should or

00:37:40.300 should not. You're working in brewery. You like working with your hands, but, but I feel so in my

00:37:45.920 head, I'm not sure where to start. Look, just explore. All right. Just, just explore, be the best at

00:37:51.720 what you're currently doing. And in the process, explore it. There's things that you're also

00:37:54.960 interested in take a few hours every week and explore that and, and talk about it. And maybe

00:38:00.140 you start a little side business. That's what order a man was. Initially. I did a podcast. I was

00:38:04.700 working two hours in the morning. I woke up before anybody else got up for two hours. Then I hung out

00:38:11.020 with the family and did breakfast and all the things got ready. And then I went into my job,

00:38:14.360 which was financial services. And then I came home, did dinner, played with the kids, spent time with my

00:38:19.520 wife. And then when they were done, I went back and I, and I took two more hours to work on the

00:38:23.500 business. So you have more time. So I would say, explore those and like, stop thinking about it.

00:38:30.160 Like you sound like you're in your head. So stop thinking so much about it. And if something

00:38:36.300 sounds even remotely interested, interesting, don't say, Oh, but, but, but, and that's more in

00:38:41.200 your head. If something sounds remotely interesting, cool. Explore it. Like you can't, I don't know if you

00:38:46.500 can see it if you're on video right now, but I've got a guitar behind me. I've always wanted to play a

00:38:51.160 musical instrument. I've never played besides like the recorder in like fifth grade, never played a

00:38:56.480 musical instrument. So I went to the pawn shop. I bought a guitar for like 50 bucks. Is it the best?

00:39:02.620 No. Does it need to be the best? No. And you know, I've just started strumming away and learning some

00:39:06.980 chords and, and I like it. I enjoy it. It's relaxing and enjoyable to me. It's, it's nice to learn a new

00:39:12.940 skill. Will I like be a master guitarist or, or, you know, perform in a band or on stage? I don't know,

00:39:19.720 maybe, maybe not, but right now I'm just enjoying it. And I'm willing to take the path, like take

00:39:24.640 action. Stop, stop being in your head, start taking action and, and get after it. Okay. You're just

00:39:30.760 overthinking it, I think. And that's causing some like trepidation and confusion and frustration in

00:39:35.840 your head. Get out of your head into action. Uh, the real be simp, the real be simp. Uh, how would

00:39:44.740 you sum up creating a successful podcast? Well, you start, that's the first thing you start very

00:39:51.460 easy. Um, if you're interested in starting a podcast, just Google Pat Flynn's guide to podcasting.

00:39:55.660 That's what I did. Don't ask me what I did. Just Google Pat Flynn's guide to podcasting

00:39:58.940 and then follow that step-by-step. I'm, I'm dumb enough that like, I'm just willing to follow what

00:40:05.340 other people did and not necessarily feel like I need to reinvent the wheel. Okay. So that's,

00:40:11.000 that's what I would do there. Uh, from there is work on audio quality, work on your ability to

00:40:17.760 communicate effectively, uh, work on your ability to interview and do it a lot. I've been going for

00:40:25.960 five years. I mean, we're at, I want to say I've done over 600 podcasts at this point. So the

00:40:31.820 repetition is, has made me better and improved my ability to podcast successfully. Also learn how to

00:40:39.260 network, learn how to ask referrals and introductions, make introductions and connections

00:40:43.840 for other people. This is how you build your network and get successful people on your podcast,

00:40:48.180 which is also going to help your podcast be a success. All right. Uh, Mohammed, I'm not even

00:40:55.080 going to pronounce the last name. Mohammed alphabet says boxing or kickboxing, whatever. I don't know.

00:41:02.020 Like for what, for enjoyment, for self-defense, for like what, whatever, just pick one, whatever

00:41:08.840 sounds interesting to you. I've, I've never done either. I focus most of my martial arts,

00:41:14.760 all of my martial arts on Brazilian jujitsu. I wrestled in high school and that's my background. So

00:41:19.480 you pick one, doesn't matter. Mac wild wild wild and as or wild and as what will be worse

00:41:28.560 than this current pandemic, the economic fallout due to shutting down the economy or not doing

00:41:36.500 anything at all. Sweden. Well, I actually believe that we are closer to the herd immunity than we've

00:41:45.300 been led to believe. Uh, I believe that the cure, which is social isolation, social distancing is,

00:41:52.340 and shutting down the economy is becoming worse than the, the fallout from the virus itself.

00:41:59.700 I think after everything is done and said that the death rate of this Corona virus will be

00:42:06.460 marginally worse than the flu. And I think more people have this significantly, more people have

00:42:13.480 this exponentially, more people have had this. And now the antibodies to combat this Corona virus,

00:42:19.880 than we have been led to believe. So I think we need to start opening up the economy systematically

00:42:26.100 in a process, in a system, not just like everybody being reckless. Uh, but look, social isolation and

00:42:32.080 social distancing was never designed to like cure this. That's not how you cure that the virus or the

00:42:37.680 pandemic or, or, or face it. It was only designed to flatten the curve. Well, the curve has been

00:42:42.320 flattened. Hospitals are not being overrun. Uh, we have plenty of ventilators from all that I've seen

00:42:49.120 and it's just not as big of an issue as we once were led to believe. So we need to find out, um,

00:42:58.000 how many people actually have had the virus and now have the antibodies that that antibody testing is

00:43:03.300 very, very important because we need to know the number. Is it, is it 10% of the population? Is it 70%

00:43:11.080 of the population? Like how many people have actually had this thing? And we want that number to be large,

00:43:16.220 by the way. We, we want as many people as possible to have actually already had this virus, because

00:43:22.220 that means that the death rate is significantly lower than we once thought. It's very important

00:43:26.620 that that number is high. Now, if it's not high, we got to address it. But if it is, that's a good

00:43:30.260 thing. Uh, but we need to really, at this point, I believe need to start worrying more about, um,

00:43:38.020 social distancing for our elderly and for those who have compromised health conditions and immune

00:43:45.560 systems. And we need to let those who have already had the virus get back to work. And we need to start

00:43:50.440 opening this economy because we're going to face some real problems. If we don't get this thing

00:43:54.120 opened up soon, potentially problems that we can't recover from, uh, be Haldeman one, two, three.

00:44:01.720 What advice do you have for a guy that is 33 just got his first bonus child, seven years old? Um,

00:44:09.600 okay. Doesn't work because we have decided that it's best that I stay at home instead of work two

00:44:15.040 weeks on and two weeks off. And I just can't grasp or get any structure. I don't know if that makes

00:44:21.680 any sense. I I'm having a hard time like tracking all this. I don't, you say you're 33. You just got

00:44:27.260 your first bonus child, seven years old. I don't know what that means. Like, does that mean you

00:44:33.000 have another kid, but then, but you're saying seven years old, did you adopt kid? Like, I don't,

00:44:38.120 I don't know what you're saying here. Um, you don't work because we've decided that it's best.

00:44:42.060 I stay home and you just can't grasp or get any structure. We'll get some structure, like get a

00:44:47.020 system organized, talk with your wife, get your kids involved. I don't, you have a seven year old.

00:44:51.180 I don't know if you have other children or what, but start creating some structure. What time

00:44:55.220 are you going to get out of bed? Cool. That's the established time. What are you going to do when

00:44:57.960 you get out of bed? Okay. I'm going to work out. I'm going to have breakfast with the family. And

00:45:00.360 then I'm going to get ready. Like if you just dink around and you slouch around, you don't get out

00:45:04.080 of your pajamas and you wander around without any plan for the day. Yeah, of course you don't have

00:45:08.020 any structure. So what's the answer to getting structure, get structure, get organized, start to

00:45:13.560 make some order out of the chaos that you found yourself in. It's easy when you're at home and you

00:45:17.220 don't have anybody pecking at you or giving you orders or telling you what you need to do to just

00:45:20.820 fall into the path of complacency, but you're seeing the ramifications, the negative ramifications

00:45:26.200 of doing that. So find some structure, get on a schedule, a time schedule, organize your day

00:45:32.020 and, and treat it like you would at work. If you were at work, you would feel that way.

00:45:37.620 So, and, and maybe, you know, you're talking about being at home instead of working two weeks

00:45:44.320 on and two weeks off, we'll find it. Maybe you're interested in a job that isn't like that.

00:45:47.800 And maybe that would bring some structure. Like this isn't either, or like there's other

00:45:52.300 options. What is the third option? So get some structure. J money, VJ money says, have you

00:45:59.060 visited Africa before? If no, when are you coming to Ghana? I haven't visited Africa before and

00:46:03.880 I don't really have any plans or trips planned or desire to go to Ghana. Dandor Clegane, you

00:46:12.580 going to have another kid? Nope. We've got four and we love our family dynamic the way it is.

00:46:18.860 I am Sam Rodriguez. Sam, good to hear from your brother. He says, can you send me one of those

00:46:23.740 cinnamon rolls that my wife was making, please? You know, I would, if I could, but they were all gone

00:46:27.520 long ago. Jason fancy any advice for guys working away from home temporarily as in two weeks away,

00:46:34.880 two weeks home advice for what like guys we need. So I made this post the other day on Instagram or

00:46:42.500 Twitter, probably both. And I said, the quality of your life will be determined by the quality of

00:46:46.820 questions that you ask. It's very important that we learn to ask better questions. I mean, I could

00:46:51.360 give you all sorts of advice. Some of it would apply. Some of it would not. So ask specific questions.

00:46:56.340 You'll get specific answers. I mean, two weeks away, two weeks home. Yeah. You're going to have

00:47:01.600 issues when you get home. Your wife's going to be in charge of the house, which makes sense. And

00:47:05.920 you're going to want to wrestle control. So you guys need to get on the same page with that.

00:47:10.300 Your kids aren't going to understand your discipline and your structure because they're

00:47:13.420 not used to that. So that's going to be a challenge. You need to create some expectations,

00:47:17.800 communicate with them, talk with them as often as you can. Maybe send them little things. Maybe it's

00:47:21.940 a postcard occasionally or a small gift. I don't think you need to like lavish them in gifts,

00:47:27.620 but you know, little things that let them know you're thinking about them while they're away.

00:47:30.560 And if you have something more specific you're looking for, then feel free to ask me that and

00:47:35.080 I'll, I'll do my best to answer that. A Mustafa one, two, two, three ever considering adding some

00:47:42.080 kind of striking standup fighting to your jujitsu. Plus have you ever competed in any jujitsu tournaments

00:47:47.020 or are considering it? Um, I I've never done any striking or standup fighting, but yeah, I think that

00:47:53.600 would be valuable. Um, it's just not a focus, a priority and an emphasis of mine. I I'm just going to

00:47:58.480 focus on jujitsu currently cause I enjoy it. I like it. Um, and I needed to develop a better

00:48:03.360 skillset at it. So jujitsu is my focus, but yeah, I've, I've considered that and I have not yet

00:48:08.360 competed in any tournaments, but I am considering it. Hamada sad one, three, please drop more episodes.

00:48:15.020 I like, like listening to them since Friday field notes till today. I keep everyone keep checking to

00:48:20.220 see if you put something else out. Uh, yeah, we do three episodes per week and we do a lot on Instagram,

00:48:25.620 live stories. And, uh, we also, uh, have occasionally a bonus episode or podcast throughout the week. So

00:48:32.180 three to four, and that's probably the max that we'll do right now. Ben Schaefer, what are some of

00:48:38.580 the biggest things you've learned about yourself, your family and our country during these trying

00:48:43.080 COVID times so far? Well, Ben, I'm in a unique situation and I realized not everybody's in this

00:48:48.800 situation, but, um, I'm pretty fortunate in that a lot of, a lot hasn't changed for us.

00:48:54.820 Um, my priorities maybe were shifted more heavily towards work, but since this whole pandemic and

00:49:01.300 everything, I've, I've shifted my priority back to where it needs to be, which is my family primarily.

00:49:05.700 Um, but you know, I work at home and I have for the past, well, I don't know, six years, six,

00:49:12.240 seven years. Uh, my kids are homeschooled already. They have been for almost a year now.

00:49:16.400 So my wife doesn't, doesn't work outside of the house. So she's a stay at home mother and,

00:49:23.000 uh, and a homemaker. So things haven't changed really for us. Um, just reprioritized and the

00:49:30.040 importance of, of family in times like this. And then this is the last question on Instagram.

00:49:34.340 And we'll probably take a few more here, but Jacob Fentress says he's 11 hours too late.

00:49:39.860 Uh, what is the most common complaint that men have about their lives? Unhappy about their job,

00:49:44.260 relationship with the wife, underachieving, et cetera. What is the absolute common core issue

00:49:48.520 that every man shares? Uh, I'll start with the last question. What is the common core issue that

00:49:53.840 every man shares? Uh, it's lack of responsibility. Everybody pushes off responsibility and the burden

00:49:59.020 of blame on other people and outside circumstances. And if you learn to take more responsibility for

00:50:04.840 your life, for your marriage, for your job, for the economy, for your underachieving as painful

00:50:10.160 as that is to wrestle with, you're going to have more success. When you do too many men are just

00:50:15.260 consumed with trying to blame and shift on everybody else. And even the guys who say, no,

00:50:19.160 I don't do that. Do that. Okay. So, so take it to the extreme. That's why I like extreme ownership

00:50:23.960 by Jocko Willink. Cause he talks about that. Take it to the extreme. And every time you think it's

00:50:28.200 somebody else's fault, you better first ask yourself, what did I have to do with it? And look,

00:50:32.780 other people might be at fault. There might be some blame on some other people, but ultimately it's

00:50:37.260 your responsibility. That is the common core issue that every man shares, including myself.

00:50:41.440 I'm not above that. Uh, now what is the most common complaint? I mean, you, you brought up

00:50:46.200 three pretty good ones. Unhappy about their job. Get that a lot. The relationship with a wife.

00:50:50.500 Those are probably you hit the two most relevant topics. Guys don't know if they want to start new

00:50:55.680 jobs. They don't want to. I mean, you heard, in fact, in this podcast, you heard both of those

00:51:00.080 people unhappy with their jobs, considering maybe going and trying, doing something else. And you also

00:51:04.580 heard some relationship questions as well. How do I get my wife to, uh, be motivated,

00:51:09.940 ambitious, to try new things, to, to push herself forward. So these are the common things that we

00:51:14.460 deal with. And again, responsibility, take responsibility for your life. All right. Now

00:51:20.040 we're going to go over to, uh, Facebook, Jonathan bell, and I'll take a two or three more. And then

00:51:26.680 we'll wrap this thing up for the day. Jonathan bell. Uh, what book has had the biggest impact on

00:51:31.300 your worldview opinions or life. Thanks for all you and Kip do in the order of man. Um,

00:51:36.340 there's a lot of books and it's a combination of a lot of them, but, um, definitely scripture.

00:51:42.260 And I hesitate to answer it with that question. Cause, cause I think that's kind of a cop out a

00:51:47.300 little bit in a way it's like, that's the easy answer, but definitely scripture, the Bible.

00:51:52.520 Um, outside of that, I'd say wild at heart. I mentioned that earlier. Wilder heart has really

00:51:57.080 changed my view of, of what it means to be a man and why we wrestle with and have so many issues as

00:52:02.500 men. So that's what I'd give you. Craig Perkins, what are your long-term plans for growing order of

00:52:07.740 man? Uh, you know, you're, you're, you're part of it right now is continue to grow in reach and

00:52:12.500 visibility and scope and size. Um, at some point we'll bring in chapters and organizations across

00:52:17.360 the world, physical chapters and meetups, uh, really working on an achievement and an advancement

00:52:21.900 initiative within our exclusive brotherhood, the iron council. Um, and then trying to hit all

00:52:26.900 platforms, trying to make sure that we're doing marketing, right. That we're reaching as many

00:52:30.620 people, that it's systematic, that it's efficient and effective. Uh, and we're really putting out

00:52:34.820 the content that's going to be most prevalent and impactful to the men who listen. Wayne Taylor.

00:52:42.340 Hey lads. My 13 year old son gets picked on a fair bit at school. Problem is by a girl. My wife tells

00:52:47.360 him he should tell the teacher, but I disagree. But then again, I don't know what to tell him. Uh,

00:52:51.560 get him, get him involved in, um, self-defense, jujitsu, karate, striking, wrestling, um, kickboxing,

00:52:58.320 boxing, et cetera, et cetera. Now I'm not saying to, to beat this girl up, but having that skill

00:53:04.140 set's a valuable thing. It might just be that this girl likes him. Uh, and I've found that when young

00:53:10.400 men are involved in martial arts and competitive sports, that it changes their demeanor and it changes

00:53:19.660 what they will put up with what they will tolerate and what they will not tolerate. And I think you'd

00:53:24.760 be very surprised at how much confidence can be built in your 13 year old son and how just him

00:53:32.420 walking around with his head, a little higher, his shoulders back a little further, his chest out.

00:53:37.460 And with a little bit of, of pride in each step will change the way we'll influence the way people

00:53:44.420 respond to him. So I would get him involved in competitive sports and I would get him involved

00:53:50.220 in, uh, martial arts, specifically jujitsu. Um, yeah, I don't, I don't think it's inappropriate

00:53:56.600 to let the teacher know. I think that's probably actually an appropriate course of action, depending

00:54:00.700 on what, what is happening, if it's bullying or if it's just picking on because she's got a crush on

00:54:06.080 him. But I rest on, on the thing I said earlier, which is to get him involved in competitive sports

00:54:11.320 or martial arts. All right. Last one here, guys, Paul dominion. Once you started succeeding,

00:54:17.000 did you find it difficult to find close relationships outside the order of man community?

00:54:22.120 I know I found it easier because I was successful and successful people want to spend time with other

00:54:27.040 successful people. They want to connect with them. They want to reach out to them. They want to have

00:54:30.220 conversations with them. They want to collaborate and do projects together. So yeah, success breeds

00:54:35.580 success. So you're going to find people like you are, if you're a loser and I'm not suggesting Paul

00:54:40.940 that you are, but if you are a loser, then you're going to attract losers. If you're a winner and

00:54:45.660 you're successful and you're motivated and driven and ambitious, then you're going to find those types

00:54:49.540 of individuals to spend time with. So yeah, I, now that said, I had a lot, let go of old friendships.

00:54:55.880 I had to, to move on and to spend less time with certain people. Uh, but all of that has been replaced

00:55:02.680 with more powerful, more profitable, um, more fulfilling relationships in my life. So

00:55:11.000 success will breed more success and the successful people are looking for successful people to spend

00:55:16.720 time with. All right, guys, I think we got through quite a few there. I hope I answered some questions

00:55:21.580 that, uh, were relevant to you. I hope I gave you some good feedback and some good things to think

00:55:25.820 about, uh, if I didn't, well, sorry, sorry, uh, ask, ask some different questions and I'll try to

00:55:33.140 do my best to answer those to the best of, of my ability. But I just want to let you know, I'm glad

00:55:37.500 that you're in this battle. Um, it is a battle, you know, not a physical battle. Some people don't

00:55:41.580 like when I say that term, like what's this battle you're talking about? It's a battle, you know, like

00:55:46.120 we're dealt with difficult circumstances every single day. It's hard to lead a family at times. It's hard to,

00:55:52.040 uh, build a career or start a business. It's hard to, uh, fight against the temptations to

00:55:58.280 eat more than you should, or to sleep in longer than you should, or not exercise and not do the

00:56:02.720 things that you deep down have a desire to do. That's a battle. And I think if you approach each

00:56:07.300 day as the battle, that there is an enemy out there and that you are trying to become the strongest,

00:56:12.100 most capable man to combat and face that enemy, whether it's perceived or visible or invisible or

00:56:18.100 tangible, if you are more capable to deal with that, then you will be a better man, a more capable

00:56:23.880 man, a more fulfilled and satisfied man. And you'll be able to impact more than other people.

00:56:28.160 That's why I use that term. So I am glad that you're in this battle with me standing shoulder

00:56:32.680 to shoulder, uh, in what it means to be a man and reclaiming masculinity and making ourselves more

00:56:37.580 capable guys. If you would, on that note, um, please share this more men need to hear this message,

00:56:42.380 especially in times, trying times like these. And I believe if you have access to information

00:56:47.220 that could benefit somebody else, then you have frankly, an obligation and outside of just an

00:56:52.640 obligation, I'd ask that you share. That's a great way to give back to hopefully, uh, some value that

00:56:57.600 we've provided to you. So share this with your brother, your father, your colleague, your coworker,

00:57:02.960 just another man, share it on Facebook, send it a text to somebody and let them know what you're

00:57:06.700 listening to, how it's helping you, how it's serving you. And, uh, and I think we'll all be better

00:57:12.000 for it. Also, if you would, uh, make sure you check out the iron council. That's our exclusive

00:57:15.920 brotherhood, the iron council. You can find that order of man.com slash iron council. And you can

00:57:21.140 see what we're all about and what we're doing there. All right, guys, I'm going to sign out.

00:57:24.180 I'll be back on Friday for our Friday field notes, but until then go out there, take action and become

00:57:28.900 a man. You are meant to be. Thank you for listening to the order of man podcast. You're ready to take

00:57:34.140 charge of your life and be more of the man you were meant to be. We invite you to join the order

00:57:38.800 of man.com.

Order of Man - April 22, 2020

Render Yourself Obsolete, Less Thinking and More Action, When a Boy Becomes a Man ｜ ASK ME ANYTHING

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