Order of Man - Rise From the Ashes ｜ FRIDAY FIELD NOTES

00:00:00.000 You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest. Embrace your fears and boldly chart

00:00:05.000 your own path. When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time. Every time.

00:00:10.440 You are not easily deterred or defeated. Rugged. Resilient. Strong. This is your life. This is who

00:00:17.240 you are. This is who you will become. At the end of the day, and after all is said and done,

00:00:22.800 you can call yourself a man. Gentlemen, what is going on today? My name is Ryan

00:00:27.460 Mickler, and I am the host and the founder of this podcast, this movement, The Order

00:00:31.860 of Man. This is a movement designed to help you as a man become a better father, a better

00:00:36.240 husband, a better business owner, community leader, employee, friend, brother, cousin,

00:00:42.100 you name it. However you're showing up in life as a man, this podcast, the information I'm

00:00:47.360 sharing, and the information my guests are sharing is designed to help you thrive, regardless

00:00:53.540 of what hat you're wearing as a man. So each and every week we have interviews. We do an

00:00:58.380 ask me anything segment with my cohost, Kip Sorensen. And then of course you're getting

00:01:01.980 this your Friday field notes, which is my thoughts from throughout the week. And I've got a good

00:01:06.020 one lined up for you today, rising from the ashes. And I'll tell you why I decided to talk

00:01:10.260 about this today. Inside of our exclusive brotherhood, the iron council and inside of our Facebook

00:01:16.540 group, which now has, I believe over 51,000 members, I hear over and over and over again

00:01:22.860 from men who have been completely derailed from situations that have happened to them.

00:01:30.560 And these situations could be a bankruptcy, could be a divorce, could be a death, could

00:01:35.440 be an illness, could be a job loss. There's all kinds of things that we deal with in life

00:01:39.380 as men. And I don't want to see that. There's been situations and circumstances in my life in

00:01:46.540 life. I feel like everything has crumbled around me and I found a way to overcome those

00:01:50.540 things. So I'm going to talk with you about that today. I'm going to talk about what this

00:01:54.480 actually looks like. And then of course, share with you a very simple formula that all of

00:01:59.020 us are probably somewhat familiar with, but I'm going to articulate this a little bit more

00:02:03.740 clearly. So hopefully when we do get knocked down and we will, that each and every one of us

00:02:08.560 will have a greater ability to get back up and get back in the fight. Now, before I get

00:02:13.500 into that, I do want to mention my friends and the show sponsors, which is origin main.

00:02:20.340 Now you guys are all familiar with this. You've heard me talk about it for the last several

00:02:24.300 months and you don't hear me talk about a lot of other companies. And that's because

00:02:27.400 I vet the companies I work with. And I feel like I have to know the companies I work with

00:02:32.620 and also use their products and their offerings and their services. And this is one company that

00:02:37.840 I can say with a hundred percent certainty is doing the right thing. Their mission at

00:02:42.320 origin main is very much in line with my mission here at order of man and the products and the

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00:02:52.040 I do it here. Now they've got their supplemental lineup. I use, uh, Jocko's super krill joint

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00:03:22.960 they've got training gear, they've got rash guards, they've got lifestyle apparel. If you're into

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00:03:38.760 main is in the state main origin, main.com, and then use the code order or D E R at checkout for

00:03:44.480 10% off on anything that you pick up over there. All right, guys, with that said and out of the way,

00:03:49.560 let's get back into this again. It's titled rising from the ashes. Now, the reason I titled this is

00:03:55.780 because there is going to come a point in your life. If there hasn't already, or been multiple times

00:04:01.260 in your life, like there has mine where again, everything seems like it's crumbling around you.

00:04:06.840 Everything's burning down to the ground. Your relationship is falling apart. Your fitness is

00:04:10.780 out of whack. Your money situation is horrendous. And unless you can find a way to rise from the

00:04:16.860 ashes, it's very easy. I think to allow these types of things that are, are supposed to build

00:04:23.120 us up and make us stronger. It's very easy to allow them to cripple us, to derail us,

00:04:29.040 to keep us from accomplishing all that we're meant to accomplish. And what I see a lot of guys do

00:04:33.660 is them living in mediocrity because they never learned to dust themselves off and they never learned

00:04:40.780 how to rise back up and become stronger in spite of all of the events that every single man on this

00:04:47.780 planet deals with. So again, I talked about it, whether that's a bankruptcy, a separation with your

00:04:53.380 wife or a divorce, a death of a loved one. Maybe it's that you're injured or there's a, an illness

00:05:00.040 or medical situation that you're dealing with. Maybe there's a job loss. I mean, there's so many

00:05:05.660 different scenarios and I see two types of men, those men who deal with the situation and come back and

00:05:12.820 find a way and develop a plan in order to become a better version of themselves. And then I see other

00:05:19.740 men who completely self-destruct. They completely fall apart because they don't know how to handle

00:05:28.300 these situations. And look over the next 15, 20 minutes, there's no way that I can give you

00:05:34.180 enough information in, in part the willpower that you need to overcome these obstacles. But I hope by

00:05:40.220 giving you this operating system, this framework that you and I, and everybody listening to this

00:05:45.360 podcast will be able to utilize it a little bit more effectively in their lives when these negative

00:05:51.780 things inevitably happen and they will, and they will keep happening. But through using this system,

00:05:57.280 I've been able to come out of everything that I've ever dealt with a stronger man because of the

00:06:04.880 system that I'm going to share with you today. Now, all of us are probably somewhat familiar with

00:06:08.160 this system. It's called the OODA loop. And again, a lot of you have heard about this, but it's a

00:06:12.920 system. It's a cycle. It's a process that was developed by a air force Colonel John Boyd,

00:06:18.920 and it's an acronym. So it's the OODA loop. It stands for observe number two, orient number three,

00:06:25.860 decide and number four act. So what I want to do is I want to break down each one of these things a

00:06:31.940 little bit more for you so that you have, again, this framework to be able to rise from the ashes

00:06:36.900 and pull yourself up and become a stronger man. All right. So number one, let's talk about observe.

00:06:41.040 Look, you may have just gotten your butt kicked. You may have just gotten your ass handed to you. 1.00

00:06:46.000 Again, I don't know what that looks like, but let's just assume for a second that you're dealing 1.00

00:06:49.260 with something in life, some negative situation or circumstance in which you found yourself.

00:06:55.220 It's safe to assume that when you get kicked in the teeth, that you're not going to be able to get

00:07:00.020 right back up and get yourself back into the fight. It would be nice if that were the case,

00:07:04.140 but the reality is it just isn't. And what I found is that when I hurry and get up and I don't think

00:07:09.560 about or spend any, any amount of time observing what just happened to me, I rush back into the

00:07:15.680 battle and I actually put myself in a worse situation because I didn't take the time to

00:07:21.660 regroup. I didn't take the time to evaluate what was going on around me. I didn't take the time to

00:07:27.860 inventory, to see what actually happened, to really try to understand what is going on objectively.

00:07:35.980 It's very difficult to do when you're in the midst of something very emotional to look at it

00:07:42.000 objectively, but it has to be looked at that way because what essentially you can do now is make

00:07:47.200 yourself the project. See what I see so many guys do is when these things happen, they completely

00:07:52.460 derail and they forget about improving themselves. They get themselves into a position of self-pity.

00:07:59.120 What's interesting about this is that as we, as men are designed to solve problems, we walk around

00:08:06.800 and we look at all the little problems that we could potentially face. And we look at what everybody

00:08:10.520 else is doing right and what everybody else is doing wrong. And we constantly think about how we

00:08:14.260 could do a better job and how we can improve our environment and the situation and the, and the

00:08:18.820 football game and the whatever. And very rarely do we turn that back around on ourselves. Guys,

00:08:25.000 we have to make ourselves the project. And the first way that you make yourself the project

00:08:30.740 that you look at yourself objectively and figure out where you need to improve

00:08:35.480 is by observing what actually happened. You don't need to be emotional. You don't need to rush into a

00:08:41.540 solution. Just regroup retreat or withdraw from the fight just for a minute, not permanently,

00:08:48.280 just for a minute to figure out what the hell just happened to you. Number one, observe. Number two

00:08:54.580 is orient. All right. Now, you know, what's going on. You understand what's happening. You understand 0.79

00:09:00.480 what just happened to you. Now it's time to start making a plan. It's time to start figuring out what

00:09:06.940 your resources are. It's time to figure out what your weaknesses are. It's time to figure out what

00:09:12.060 assets and what liabilities you have. It's time to start putting the little plans into motion,

00:09:18.060 or at least thinking about what is it that I need to do next? What areas of my life do I need to

00:09:24.500 improve? Do I need to improve my fitness? Do I need to improve communication skills? Do I need to

00:09:29.360 improve my ability to manage my finances? Do I need to develop and harness a new skillset so I can get

00:09:35.920 a promotion at work? What is it that you need to do? And I would suggest documenting everything,

00:09:41.460 write everything down. This is what I do when I'm doing my task list for the day. I write absolutely

00:09:45.960 everything I can down on that task list. I'm not prioritizing right now. I'm simply writing down

00:09:51.480 everything that I know needs to get accomplished and what I could potentially work on in order to

00:09:56.580 improve myself. So now we've observed, we know that we are in a difficult position. We're figuring

00:10:04.900 out what's going on around us. Now we're orienting ourselves to that situation. We're figuring out,

00:10:09.500 okay, what is it that I can do next? What is a potential plan of action? What course should I

00:10:14.160 potentially take now that we have that? And we have that all documented and listed out.

00:10:19.340 Now we can decide. We can decide based on what it is we want to accomplish. If I know that I need to

00:10:25.760 lose 30 pounds, I can decide what I need to do in order to lose 30 pounds. If I am in a relationship

00:10:32.180 that's really struggling, I've observed that I've oriented myself to where I fall short within the

00:10:37.040 relationship. And now I can decide, Hey, I need to move on or I need to step up or I need to develop

00:10:43.760 this skillset like communication, for example, and we can decide, we can decide what we need to do.

00:10:51.020 Once you've made the decision, once you have a plan, a course that you're going to set sail on,

00:10:57.780 now it's time to act. Only then should you act. I already mentioned, sometimes we're quick to act

00:11:03.720 without doing these other steps. We don't observe. We don't orient. We don't decide. We just rush back

00:11:07.900 into battle because we think that's what we're supposed to do. And granted, it might work out.

00:11:12.200 The problem though, is that even if it does work out, it's not replicatable and you didn't learn the

00:11:18.500 lesson from it. So we'll just take relationships. For example, if you are struggling in your

00:11:23.240 relationship and you and your wife go through a separation, let's say, and you correct all the

00:11:30.000 behavior that you think she wants you to correct, that actually might be something that works. But

00:11:35.740 I'm telling you, unless you do these other steps, you may have just put a bandaid on the wound.

00:11:39.980 You did not implement a long-term strategy for growth and progress within the relationships.

00:11:45.920 And it's no surprise that in six months or a year or even two or three years that you find yourself

00:11:51.560 in the exact same situation. See, we shouldn't be in this game for the short term. We need to be in

00:11:57.160 this thing for the long term, which means that we have a little bit of time to do these other steps

00:12:01.800 before we rush back into it and wreck everything and fall back into the same traps and the same

00:12:07.380 patterns that we fell into before that produced, we'll call it less than desirable results for

00:12:13.740 ourselves. So guys, don't be emotional. Don't overreact. Don't make this the first step.

00:12:22.540 Step number one, observe what's going on. Step number two, orient yourself to the situation.

00:12:29.940 Step number three, based on what you've observed and based on your orientation and what it is that you

00:12:35.360 want to do moving forward, now you can make a decision. And then step number four, which I just

00:12:40.400 said a second ago is then, and only then should you act upon all the information that you have in hand.

00:12:48.280 Now, when I started talking with you about 15 minutes or so ago, I said that this was a cycle

00:12:53.980 and it is a cycle. I think what a lot of people do is they find themselves in a bad situation,

00:12:59.700 again, through a bankruptcy or an illness or a job loss or a divorce. And they recognize because

00:13:06.140 they're in this dire situation that it's an emergency and they need to immediately correct

00:13:11.320 the behavior. And they do, they make a great job correcting the behavior and then they fix it for a

00:13:16.100 time, but then they fall back into the same patterns because they're not using this as a cycle.

00:13:21.120 Guys, this is a never ending process. So if we take relationships, observe, orient, decide, act.

00:13:27.560 Now let's assume just for the sake of argument that you get back with your wife.

00:13:33.820 Then what happens? You fall back into the same patterns. We could use the same thing with regards

00:13:38.360 to health and fitness. Maybe you get a health diagnosis that you need to lose some weight in

00:13:44.700 order to deal with this. Okay. So you start dieting, you start exercising, you start running,

00:13:50.660 you start making healthier choices, you're getting more sleep, you're reducing stress, and you're doing

00:13:54.520 all the things to improve your level of health. And then things go away. You get better. You start

00:14:00.280 feeling better and you've risen from the ashes, except for you didn't put this into a cycle. And

00:14:05.020 so what happens is in the next six months or a year, you forget about exercising. You start sleeping

00:14:11.380 in a little longer than you should. You start having some more junk food and you get yourself right back

00:14:16.940 into the same situation that you found yourself in 12 months earlier. Guys, this has to be a process for

00:14:23.700 you. When I see guys who lose weight immediately or have some huge business success right off the bat,

00:14:31.620 that's great. There's nothing wrong with that. Except for in my experience, it's very difficult to

00:14:37.760 sustain unless you have a system in place that is a cycle, not a linear progression, but a cycle.

00:14:45.340 I'm constantly going through this, constantly going through this, constantly going through this.

00:14:48.660 So even as things aren't bad in my life, my relationships, my fitness, the business,

00:14:54.380 the bank account, the things that are going well in my life right now, I am still using this process

00:14:58.940 because I want to head things off at the pass. I don't want to wait until things get horrible

00:15:03.360 for me to have to go into emergency or crisis mode. So guys, build this into your day, build this into

00:15:10.400 your week, build this into your quarterly planning. That's what I do is I do a 12 week quarterly

00:15:15.040 planning. I call it a battle plan. And I build this OODA loop into my plan. So I'm constantly

00:15:22.160 evaluating whether things are going right and whether things are going wrong. And what I found

00:15:26.520 is that as I constantly implement this into my life, I find less and less actually goes wrong.

00:15:33.220 Guys, I know when we find ourselves in difficult situations, in emotionally charged and heated

00:15:39.120 and dire situations and circumstances, it's very easy to a get down on ourselves and turn into this

00:15:47.920 self pity, woe is me type situation. And on the other hand, I know it's very easy to rush into action

00:15:54.600 and just try to fix everything. And what ends up happening there is there's usually some collateral

00:15:59.440 damage and fallout because we bulldozed our way through a problem that we created for ourselves.

00:16:03.840 What I would suggest instead is to incorporate the OODA loop or your version of it. Maybe it's

00:16:09.960 slightly different, but this gives you a basis. This gives you a foundation for what you can do

00:16:14.680 in your life. Again, it's observe, stop, breathe, relax, disengage, withdraw from the battle just for a

00:16:22.220 time, not permanently, just for a time figuring out what just happened. Number two, orient yourself.

00:16:28.580 What are my assets? What are my resources? What are my strengths? What are the weaknesses I have?

00:16:33.400 How can I shore these up? Who are the people that I need to get involved in this process in order to

00:16:37.780 help me be better off? Number three, decide, make a decision based on the facts at hand, no longer

00:16:44.080 emotions, but the facts at hand. Here's where I found myself. Here's what I want to accomplish.

00:16:50.640 Here's how I think I can improve this. I've gone through so many different scenarios and this is the one

00:16:55.480 I've decided to act upon. And then number four is like I just said, act, take the action,

00:17:02.780 do what you know you should be doing day in, day out, over and over and over again. And as you're

00:17:09.660 taking this action, observe, is the action working? Is what you're actually doing moving you in the

00:17:15.800 right direction? Or is it moving you further from what you want? Guys, I want each and every one of us

00:17:20.960 to rise from the ashes. I've seen too many men fall prey to some of these situations. And some of these

00:17:25.600 situations, frankly, are outside of your control. Some are within your control, but either way,

00:17:29.780 you have the power to rise from the ashes. You have the power to make yourself the project.

00:17:35.440 You have the power to become a better, stronger, tougher, grittier, more resilient man than you were

00:17:42.380 before. These challenging scenarios aren't there to cripple us. They're there to fortify us, to build

00:17:50.640 us, to make us stronger, but we have to have a system in place in order to do that. So guys,

00:17:56.540 I hope that helps. Please let me know if you're using this or using a different version of the

00:18:01.800 OODA loop, or you have your own scenario or process. I would love to hear what it is. I think

00:18:05.900 if we can share our ideas and our processes and the systems that we use and the tools that we have

00:18:11.040 and the conversations we're having, we're all going to be better men for it. And when I started this

00:18:15.380 project four years ago, it's the, it's the very reason I called it the order. When I say order,

00:18:21.040 I think brotherhood fraternity society, but it's men, it's all men working together to create

00:18:29.200 solutions to the problems that many of us have all dealt with. So guys go out there,

00:18:35.300 incorporate this into your life. Use the OODA loop rise from the ashes. Like you're meant to

00:18:40.100 become a better man because of those, what we would consider negative situations. Turn those into a

00:18:46.400 positive. Go out there, take action and become the man you are meant to be. Thank you for listening

00:18:51.700 to the order of man podcast. You're ready to take charge of your life and be more of the man you

00:18:56.740 were meant to be. We invite you to join the order at orderofman.com.

Order of Man - October 19, 2018

Rise From the Ashes ｜ FRIDAY FIELD NOTES

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