Order of Man - Safe Doesn't Mean ＂Soft＂

00:00:00.000 a lion doesn't make his pride, his crew feel safe by becoming a house cat. He makes them feel safe

00:00:10.260 by doing what lions do. And I want for every man listening to this to become that. Not a smaller,

00:00:18.640 softer, more easier to digest version of yourself, but a more complete version. One who's done a lot

00:00:25.240 of that inner work, one who's earned the trust of the people around him the way I wish I would

00:00:30.180 have when I had that opportunity. Men, today we're going to talk about something that I think a lot

00:00:36.540 of men misunderstand, or maybe they even flat out avoid, because on the surface, what I'm going to

00:00:43.120 share with you today might sound like that soft, politically correct talking point that actually 0.90

00:00:50.220 sounds ridiculous. If you do any digging under the surface, we're going to be talking about

00:00:55.500 what it means for a man to be safe. Now, look, before you check out, I want you to stay with me

00:01:00.280 because what I'm not talking about is what modern culture usually means when they push this idea.

00:01:08.300 And I'm not here to tell you to shrink. I never have. I never will. I'm not here to tell you to

00:01:13.960 apologize for who you are as a man or to smooth out some of those rough edges or just become 0.95

00:01:21.460 some sort of passive agreeable whiny wimp or version of yourself that causes no sort of

00:01:33.080 friction for anybody because I don't think that's safety. That is more akin to weakness 0.90

00:01:39.640 and weakness doesn't allow us to step up in the way that we as men are supposed to step up.

00:01:46.560 What I'm talking about is something that is harder to wrap our heads around. And frankly,

00:01:52.800 I think it's more important than anything that, you know, that quote unquote, safe masculinity

00:01:58.700 crowd continues to peddle us. I'm talking about being the kind of man who has real and genuine

00:02:05.160 strength, real power, real presence. And one who has done a lot of work on himself to make sure

00:02:12.620 that the strength that he does possess serves the people that he loves instead of threatens them.

00:02:18.760 And that's the difference. And today I want to break that down. And I want to start by sharing

00:02:24.220 something very personal with you. And I've shared this, but I want to get really in depth with this

00:02:31.480 because I think that this conversation deserves me being more genuine about it. As a lot of you

00:02:40.980 guys know, I was married for 18 years and that marriage ended about three and a half years ago.

00:02:46.860 And I've, I'm being completely honest with you. A significant part of why that marriage ended

00:02:56.800 is because in the last several years of our marriage, I wasn't a safe man. Not in the way

00:03:03.500 that culture means it. It wasn't abusive in the ways that make headlines. There was no infidelity,

00:03:09.080 but I was volatile. I was emotionally dysregulated and I was dealing with my alcohol abuse that I

00:03:18.260 hadn't fully confronted it, but I hadn't even at the time begin to confront it. And the result

00:03:26.620 of that was a version of me that the people in my home, my wife and my kids couldn't fully trust

00:03:33.580 or predict when I came home. And I'm sure a lot of you guys have felt the same way. When you get

00:03:38.640 home, your family scatters. Why? Because they don't trust you and they can't predict what kind

00:03:44.620 of man they're going to be getting when you walk in the door. My wife at the time, my ex-wife,

00:03:50.820 she couldn't lean into me fully because she didn't know, again, what version of me that she

00:03:55.720 was getting. And my kids were trying to read the room and read the cues and see how I was

00:04:03.000 responding or acting instead of just being there and present and living it the way that they should

00:04:07.520 have as children. And I told myself for a very long time that it wasn't that big of a deal that

00:04:17.420 I was providing for them that I was there and present and that I was trying. But here's what

00:04:24.620 I know now after years of reflection and doing a lot of work personally on myself

00:04:28.920 is that trying to do something and actually doing it, being there, being present, being safe

00:04:36.000 is obviously not the same thing. My family didn't need me to just try harder. They actually needed

00:04:42.920 me to be regulated. They needed me to be consistent. They needed to know that when the

00:04:50.140 reality and pressure of life hit the real pressure the kind that every single family faces that i

00:04:56.600 would be the kind of man who could handle it not the man who exacerbated some of the problems

00:05:02.160 and if i'm being honest again i wasn't that man and that cost me and it cost her and it cost my

00:05:11.340 children and it's a hard cost to pay it's a hard price to pay and and i'm not telling you that to

00:05:19.340 to beat myself up. I've done a lot of work on myself internally. I own that. I take responsibility

00:05:24.600 and I've moved forward in my life in a way that's healthy. But I'm telling you because I think that

00:05:29.640 there's a lot of guys listening right now who are closer to where I was than they want to admit.

00:05:38.600 And a lot of men listening to this are probably heading for a cliff and they don't even realize

00:05:43.500 it. And if this conversation today just reaches even one of those men before he loses what

00:05:50.780 I lost, then I think it's worth being as direct as I'm going to be with you. So let's talk

00:05:56.600 about why this actually matters because most men have never been taught to think about

00:06:02.000 this and that gap, that's what's costing them in their marriages and their relationships

00:06:06.780 with their kids their families when when a woman doesn't feel safe with a man she's not able to

00:06:14.860 relax and ease into that relationship and so she has to manage it and she stays guarded and she

00:06:21.380 withholds information and her love and affection and she keeps one foot out the door and one foot

00:06:26.720 in emotionally and it's not because she doesn't want to trust him it's because of history she

00:06:34.600 doesn't have enough evidence that she can trust him. And here's what that will cost you. It'll

00:06:41.640 cost you intimacy, respect, connection, partnership, because a woman who feels genuinely safe with a

00:06:51.120 man, she's not going to nag him. She's not going to test him. She's not going to do those shit

00:06:55.900 tests that women love to do. She doesn't try to control or manipulate. She opens up. She follows 1.00

00:07:02.820 his lead. And she brings her best version, that feminine version that all of us want to the

00:07:10.100 relationship because she's not spending her energy, always bracing for impact, always being

00:07:16.200 concerned about what's around the corner. And that's the relationship that I think most men

00:07:20.560 say they want. And almost none of them, including myself at the time, understand that we often are

00:07:30.060 the variable that either creates that safe environment for her to be feminine or just

00:07:38.180 flat out destroys it. And that's what I did. And look, guys, this is not about catering to women

00:07:44.240 or making them the center of your universe. If you've been following me for any amount of time,

00:07:48.940 you know, I don't, I don't believe in that, but it is about understanding that your ability to

00:07:54.980 lead in the relationship to actually have the type of woman that you want depends on whether

00:08:03.040 the person next to you her trust that you you are a man of character that you're stable

00:08:11.700 because you can't lead her if she doesn't feel safe following you and that's when her walls go

00:08:17.920 up and that's when she steps into masculine behavior and that's when she manages the

00:08:22.740 relationship instead of opening yourself up to it. And so what does it actually mean? This is

00:08:29.120 important. We have to ask ourselves this question. What does it actually mean for a man to be safe

00:08:34.320 in that context? Because I think most men, when they hear that word in the, in that context of

00:08:39.480 relationships, they immediately picture the opposite of what I'm talking about. The opposite

00:08:44.720 of manliness. They'll think about a guy who has, you know, no opinions, no edges, no spine, no

00:08:51.260 backbone, a man who's been just so domesticated that he has no real threat to anyone. And here's

00:09:02.620 the thing, that's not a safe guy. That's not what she's looking for when she says, I want safe

00:09:08.140 masculinity. That guy's just absent. He's abdicating his responsibility, right? He's

00:09:14.300 checked out. He has no character. He has no code he's living towards. He's not an anchor in his

00:09:20.440 family's life. And you can't trust a man who has no anchor. You can't trust a man who has no spine.

00:09:27.620 He's cowardly. He's not virtuous. What women are actually describing when they say that they want 1.00

00:09:35.040 to feel safe with a man is something way more meaningful. They want to be able to read their 0.80

00:09:44.580 man. They want to know who he actually is. And by the way, if you hear a lot of banging and

00:09:50.900 clanging going on, they're doing construction outside. And so something on my shelf just fell

00:09:56.460 over and you'll hear a lot of background noise. It is what it is. We'll get through it.

00:10:03.260 Yeah, but they want a man to know who he is.

00:10:07.220 they want to trust that when things get hard and they will you you guys have been through

00:10:16.460 hardship bankruptcies and job losses and friction and contention and in-laws and

00:10:22.600 medical issues but they want a man who they know is not going to explode

00:10:28.520 which is kind of what i tended to do verbally they want a man who they know is not going to

00:10:35.860 disappear. That's not what I did, but plenty of men do. And they want a man who's just not going

00:10:39.820 to fall apart and crumble at any sign of adversity. So think about it this way.

00:10:47.500 If you lock your bedroom door, it doesn't make you feel safe because it's fragile and volatile.

00:10:54.500 It makes you feel safe because it's strong and that it's on your side. It will do what it needs

00:11:00.680 to do and that's the model that we should be looking at when it comes to leading our wife

00:11:06.200 and our children it's it's strength it's knowing that you're on their side it's consistency

00:11:12.440 and i want to take a minute to talk about this lie that we've been sold

00:11:20.300 because there's a version there's a version of a man out there who has

00:11:28.740 really internalized and just taken to heart this weak cultural message that the way to make her

00:11:38.340 feel safe is just to become as non-threatening as possible. That's the nice guy, right?

00:11:45.300 And I have some nice guy tendencies. A lot of you do as well. We over-apologize. We have no opinions

00:11:52.320 unless she has them first. And that's not really an opinion. That's just agreeing.

00:11:56.320 he never pushes back he never holds the line he never expresses his needs and goals and desires

00:12:04.180 he just bends and contorts and morphs constantly into whatever direction just keeps the peace

00:12:13.020 and he actually believes that this is what she wants you see it all the time I can see it in a

00:12:19.440 man's eyes you know I'll drive down the road and I'll see a man driving a minivan and I'll look

00:12:25.120 over at him and I'll give him a little nod and I can see his soul if it's even there at all just

00:12:30.440 being crushed because he's driving a minivan and he's running the kids around and he's doing all

00:12:36.900 the domestic duties and he's doing what a good husband should do and yet he feels empty and 0.99

00:12:41.960 devoid well guess what so does she she knows you're a coward she knows you're weak and you're

00:12:47.500 not safe you might appear safe from the outside and so that's why everybody will say oh he's a 0.96

00:12:52.880 good man. Oh, he's such a good guy. Oh, you're lucky that you're married to this guy. And

00:12:56.580 meanwhile, she's just at her wits end. She's just devoid and empty of real, meaningful

00:13:06.220 connection as much as the guy is. Because her nervous system is dysregulated. It's not

00:13:13.460 fooled by you just being compliant. When a woman is with a man who has no edges or no 0.90

00:13:20.760 standards or no spine like i'm saying she she doesn't relax she actually becomes more anxious

00:13:27.060 because she has to she can't read the guy she doesn't know who he actually is and if she can't

00:13:33.520 predict what he's going to do or how he's going to respond or she can worse and she knows he'll

00:13:38.960 cower then she certainly can't trust him and so she has to step up and be not only the woman of

00:13:44.840 relationship but also the man of the relationship you cannot feel safe with a person who is just 0.65

00:13:53.640 a mirror of whatever you're saying you can only feel safe she can only feel safe if she's with a 0.58

00:14:00.180 man who's genuine and real and authentic doesn't mean he needs to be a jerk but he's real the nice 0.76

00:14:08.280 guy guys does not create safety he creates this this vacuum this emptiness

00:14:16.180 and nature and women and relationships it abhors a vacuum so she ends up like i said managing the 1.00

00:14:26.440 relationship leading the relationship resenting the relationship because she's with a guy who 1.00

00:14:32.640 was supposed to be your partner. And that guy actually doesn't have any, any code, any standard

00:14:42.380 that she can rely on. And this is what we would call personal responsibility in its most basic

00:14:47.400 form. You are the variable in the relationship. Now I know there's exceptions. I know that she

00:14:54.340 might not be who she's meant to be or who she agreed to be. I know that she may have changed.

00:14:59.160 I know that there may be other issues like infidelity and substance abuse.

00:15:04.100 I know all that because I talk with men every single day.

00:15:08.400 Oftentimes when I make posts like this on social media, people will say, well, you know, she has a part to play too.

00:15:13.560 Yeah, I know.

00:15:15.200 And I know there's exceptions to what I'm talking about.

00:15:17.860 I'm asking you to take a look inside and not really focus so much on what she is or is not doing, but focusing on what you are or are not doing.

00:15:26.580 okay it's it's not about her expectations in this conversation it's not about the cultural

00:15:34.220 things that she's bought into it's not about bad luck that you have it's you and the question is

00:15:42.360 whether you're going to show up as the man that she needs you to be yes she has a part to play

00:15:48.480 yes she has responsibility but when we start saying well she's not what you're doing is you're

00:15:53.920 abdicating responsibility it's not manly it's cowardice it's weak and this is why when i have

00:16:00.740 these conversations i talk about the concept of sovereignty personal liberty and i think this is

00:16:06.940 where most men they either get it or they don't the idea that you are your inner authority you

00:16:14.420 are the author of of yourself that you are responsible for your mind for your emotions

00:16:21.000 for your actions. And it's not dependent on what she does or does not do. It's not this like

00:16:27.120 philosophical concept. It's daily practice. It's the foundation of everything that we're talking

00:16:34.880 about in this conversation. It's a man who is emotionally regulated because that's not a man

00:16:41.780 who feels nothing, right? This is that warped, distorted perception of stoicism that you're not

00:16:49.940 supposed to feel your emotions no that's not what the great stoics ever said you're supposed to

00:16:54.660 understand what your emotions are telling you and act appropriately and i want to be really clear

00:16:59.140 about that because emotional regulation isn't just suppressing what you think or feel and i know

00:17:08.400 plenty of men who don't express emotion at all and they think they're being strong but what they're

00:17:14.980 actually doing is pressurizing themselves until they turn into a bomb and raise your hand if you've

00:17:21.980 ever been a bomb in the relationship you get so frustrated so fed up so angry so whatever that

00:17:30.000 you just blow up verbally or maybe even physically and even if it's not directed at her the kids if

00:17:35.300 you go punch a wall and her and the kids see it they're going to be afraid of that because you're

00:17:40.200 bigger and stronger than they are. And that's a threat. That's not safety. But when you can 0.83

00:17:48.000 actually regulate your emotions, that's what I'm calling sovereignty. I don't want you to be this

00:17:53.880 pressure cooker with a faulty valve. You have to have a good working valve that releases the

00:17:58.840 pressure in healthy ways. I think a man who's sovereign can actually feel everything he's

00:18:04.260 feeling. He feels anger. He feels fear. He has desires and frustration and grief. I've experienced

00:18:10.560 all of those today. I've experienced all of those, but he's done enough work inside the work that

00:18:16.960 we've talked about for the past decade to ensure that he's the one driving the vehicle. He's the

00:18:23.560 one driving the conversations, not his emotions in the working in the background. A man who's

00:18:31.620 regulated his feelings just inform him it's data but they don't dictate what he does it's not the

00:18:37.620 emotion it's the response to the emotion that could become a problem and that's what creates

00:18:43.120 safety because when i was drinking and in the throes of my alcohol abuse and volatile i had

00:18:50.240 given away my sovereignty quite literally the control over my mind and my emotions and my body

00:18:56.780 and i handed the wheel over to to this substance to this poison and then also to whatever i don't

00:19:07.080 know unprocessed garbage baggage that i that i hadn't dealt with some from my childhood some

00:19:15.520 from the marriage some from business frustrations and then the people around me ended up paying the 0.83

00:19:20.720 price for that my my ex-wife and my kids mostly that's on me it was always on me

00:19:27.040 and and i don't take personal responsibility as some clever slogan it's it's an acknowledgement

00:19:34.200 that whatever is happening inside of you is yours to manage it's not her problem

00:19:44.920 it's not your wife's problem to work around what you're experiencing now should she be there in

00:19:51.100 support of course and a good partner will do that but it's not her problem it's definitely not your

00:19:59.240 kids responsibility to tiptoe emotionally physically around you because they don't know

00:20:06.280 how you're going to respond that's yours and the moment that you actually take that seriously

00:20:11.840 is when you actually own your inner world

00:20:15.160 instead of outsourcing it to people that you love.

00:20:20.260 I think everything in your life will change.

00:20:22.660 It has for me.

00:20:23.800 And I've acknowledged and accepted

00:20:25.180 and tried to make amends and apologized

00:20:27.260 and changed behavior based on that belief.

00:20:30.420 So let's get really specific here, okay?

00:20:32.980 I don't want you to leave with concepts.

00:20:34.740 I don't wanna talk about this from a 30,000 foot view only.

00:20:37.900 I want you to leave with something

00:20:38.820 you can actually take home,

00:20:40.480 literally take home when you get home today so here's what actually creates safety in the eyes

00:20:47.040 of your wife and it's it's all deeply masculine okay so the first we've talked about it is

00:20:54.560 emotional regulation it's not the absence of emotion it's mastering it when pressure hits when

00:21:00.760 when you're confronted with conflict when the environment around you gets chaotic when the

00:21:06.760 hits the fan you are the thermostat i've often said you're the thermostat not the thermometer

00:21:14.680 okay the thermostat you set the temperature you don't simply that's what a thermostat does like

00:21:22.940 you can go over to the thermostat on the wall and set the temperature where you want it the

00:21:26.840 thermometer is just a reflection of whatever you're dealing with so you're not a thermometer

00:21:31.700 you're a thermostat think about that the next time you're tempted to blow up to explode to

00:21:38.260 become volatile think about that when your kids scatter when you get home or your wife doesn't

00:21:42.600 want to talk with you and ask about how your day is it's because you're being the thermometer and

00:21:46.820 not the thermostat okay a second thing for you to consider point number two is that you have a clear

00:21:53.800 code you have to have a code and you have to make the code identify the code before you're in

00:22:00.120 conflict because when you get in conflict you're already heated you're already frustrated the blood

00:22:05.420 pressure is already there and you cannot think clearly so you have to have a code beforehand

00:22:09.800 because as a husband and a father if you have no standards or no lines or no non-negotiables

00:22:18.340 then that's when you become unpredictable in the worst possible way at the worst possible moment

00:22:24.060 but a man who knows what he stands for and he holds to it consistently through thick and thin

00:22:32.720 through the good bad and the ugly that's a readable man that's a man who becomes trustworthy

00:22:38.780 what's interesting is if you look at the statistics women will stay in abusive relationships

00:22:44.840 for way longer than is healthy and why do they do that well they do it because of the famous 0.98

00:22:50.920 you know quote the devil you know they do that because at least they know what they're going to

00:22:56.740 get because if they leave that represents all sort of sorts of unpredictability and fear

00:23:01.720 now i'm not telling you to be abusive but the concept is interesting that people will stay

00:23:07.160 in toxic relationships because the fear of the unknown the uncertainty is greater than the fear

00:23:14.200 of the potential abuse. So if that's true, then we can use that concept to our advantage, meaning

00:23:23.580 that if we're always regulated and we're always safe and secure and predictable, then the people

00:23:29.860 in our lives that we love most will want to be there because they know, hey, even when it gets 0.99

00:23:35.080 nasty, I know this is a man who's going to be able to handle his shit. You don't want your kids and 0.99

00:23:42.520 wife guessing who you are she already knows but you want to be consistent and that's what creates

00:23:50.600 safety okay the third is this this capacity for protection it's the ability and willingness

00:23:57.000 to protect physically financially emotionally i did a podcast not too long ago on the seven

00:24:06.720 forms of masculine provision it's not just about paying the bills there's more to it

00:24:10.840 when when you have this willingness and capability of provision and protection

00:24:17.000 that is not a threat she trusts you you're giving her a gift and frankly it's who you as a man are

00:24:25.660 built to be it's it's a man who would step between his family and harm that's not an intimidating man

00:24:33.740 to the people inside that circle if i'm dangerous but i'm not dangerous to them

00:24:37.920 i'm dangerous to external sources that would attack my family i'm not scary she's proud

00:24:44.780 to stand by me the quote comes to mind the real man gains renown by standing between himself and

00:24:52.260 the blows excuse me and destruction absorbing the blows of fate with equanimity that's from

00:24:58.120 david gilmore a man is a fortress and and people will sleep well your people will sleep well inside

00:25:07.100 the walls of that fortress the fourth component is accountability without the the theatrics

00:25:14.900 okay when when you mess up and you will we all do then you own it hey i messed up i did that wrong

00:25:23.140 i'm sorry i should have done better i was short i was impatient i got after you i raised my voice

00:25:26.920 just acknowledge it no deflection no 10 minute explanation of how it wasn't technically your

00:25:33.820 fault or no, no, like self, uh, you know, flagellation to perform remorse or tell people

00:25:42.740 you're sorry. You just say what happened. Hey, I was a jerk. I was frustrated with work. That

00:25:49.260 wasn't right of me to do it. And then you just take responsibility and then you fix it and you

00:25:53.360 move on. That's clean accountability. It's going to happen. And if you do that over time, and I'm

00:26:00.540 not saying just mess up so you can take accountability. But if you do that over time,

00:26:04.480 and then you actually correct the problem, that builds a level of trust that's almost impossible

00:26:10.140 to ignore. She knows you're human. Okay. She knows that you're, you're not going to be,

00:26:16.380 you know, the perfect saint all of the time. You're, you're not the perfect version of Christ

00:26:23.600 that we've been commanded to be like we're we're human beings and she knows that and it's okay

00:26:30.760 within reason but you have to be willing to acknowledge it and if you can't then you become

00:26:37.120 a danger to her because you she doesn't know that you even acknowledge there's a problem

00:26:41.860 you think that maybe you're hiding it by not bringing it up you're not fooling anybody

00:26:47.960 i thought that i was fooling my ex-wife my children when i would get drunk i wasn't

00:26:52.920 in hindsight i wasn't fooling anyone all of them knew even when the kids were little they may not

00:26:59.820 have known what was happening but they knew dad was not safe there was something off all right

00:27:05.860 next presence and and i think this one gets underestimated because if you're distracted

00:27:11.840 all the time if you're checked out if you're there physically in the room but mentally

00:27:16.980 often wherever else you might be that's not safety that's that's absence you're yes you're

00:27:22.840 physically there but you're not present and an absent man can't be relied upon

00:27:29.760 presence means that she knows yes where you are physically but also what you're about who you are

00:27:39.640 that you see her that you acknowledge her that you're in it with her and and that matters more

00:27:46.320 than most men realize. And so here's the thing I want to leave you with. Safe masculinity as

00:27:52.600 culture might define it, that that's kind of a trap. It's asking men to become less of who they

00:28:00.220 are in the name of being more, more acceptable or more tolerant or just soft and weak and feminized.

00:28:08.280 And it will hollow you out. I promise you nice guys are hollowed out. And then someday they 0.96

00:28:13.860 snap and they end up hurting people or themselves physically mentally emotional all of it and when

00:28:21.740 you're that kind of guy you leave a shell of of who you're actually meant to be but real safety

00:28:29.120 and security the kind that builds that that relationship and that earns that trust and

00:28:35.600 makes the people you love feel genuinely seen and heard and cared for that's not softness

00:28:43.240 we're not going to equate safety with softness

00:28:45.820 that's the best version of masculinity that there is

00:28:51.100 not hard or violent or rough

00:28:54.020 but meek maybe is a word we could use there

00:28:59.580 willing to be tender and kind and gentle

00:29:02.560 but also be willing to step up

00:29:04.700 and be strong and bold and courageous and assertive

00:29:07.080 when it's needed

00:29:07.620 but it requires you to conquer yourself first

00:29:11.600 that's where the sovereignty comes in your own work first it requires that you hold yourself

00:29:17.820 to the code i talked about when even when no one is watching in fact especially when no one is

00:29:22.240 watching that you're able to regulate when everything in your bones and in your blood

00:29:30.260 and in your being wants you to react and i i know what that's like that you stick around and you

00:29:36.840 stay present when you want to run or avoid conflict that you're honest with her and your

00:29:42.400 kids and the people in your life when it would be way easier at least in the moment to just disappear

00:29:47.020 and shrink away that if you think about it in this context a lion doesn't make his his pride his

00:29:57.560 his crew feel safe by becoming a house cat domesticated house cat he makes them feel safe

00:30:08.620 by doing what lions do and i want for every man listening to this to become that not a smaller

00:30:18.880 softer

00:30:19.540 more easier to digest version of yourself but a more complete version one who's done a lot of

00:30:27.820 that inner work one who's earned the trust of the people around him the way i wish i would have when

00:30:33.240 i had that opportunity i still do with my kids but not with her one who knows that the measure

00:30:40.560 of a man's strength is not just what he can do to the world, but what he can do and what he can be

00:30:51.480 for the people in his corner. And guys, that's the work. And it starts today. So I hope that

00:30:59.880 message resonates with you. I hope you take it to heart. I hope you realize that safe doesn't

00:31:05.060 necessarily equal or mean soft. If this one landed for you, please share it. Drop a comment. If you're

00:31:11.340 on YouTube, leave a podcast rating and review wherever else you might be listening. Hit the

00:31:16.940 share button, pay it forward to another man who might need to hear this because we don't want a

00:31:21.800 legion of soft men. We want strong, bold, courageous men, but we also want men who love and lead their

00:31:27.820 families well. And if you're in a season of your life where maybe you aren't showing up as the man

00:31:34.760 that you want to be and know you can be,

00:31:38.400 I'm not going to tell you that it's okay.

00:31:41.020 I'm just going to tell you it's time to change.

00:31:43.380 You don't have to be perfect, right?

00:31:45.000 You just have to be honest and you have to get started.

00:31:48.900 So today is the best day to get started.

00:31:51.180 All right, guys, we will be back tomorrow

00:31:53.040 for our Ask Me Anything.

00:31:54.860 Until then, go out there, take action,

00:31:56.940 and become the man you are meant to be.

00:32:00.040 Thank you for listening to the Order of Man podcast.

00:32:03.000 You're ready to take charge of your life

00:32:04.640 To be more of the man you were meant to be, we invite you to join the order at orderofman.com.

Order of Man - May 05, 2026

Safe Doesn't Mean ＂Soft＂

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