Order of Man - Secrets to Thriving Relationships ｜ ASK ME ANYTHING

00:00:00.000 So this is from Bruce Lee.

00:00:01.940 He says, do not pray for an easy life.

00:00:03.680 Pray for the strength to endure a difficult one.

00:00:06.600 John F. Kennedy says, do not pray for easy lives.

00:00:09.620 Pray to be stronger men.

00:00:13.060 Life's not supposed to be easy.

00:00:14.860 We can enjoy the comforts of modern times.

00:00:17.140 And I do.

00:00:18.140 Don't get me wrong.

00:00:18.960 I do.

00:00:20.060 But also be careful because that's a trap.

00:00:24.180 It really is a trap that we need to avoid

00:00:26.420 and be very, very cautious of stepping into.

00:00:30.000 You're a man of action.

00:00:31.600 You live life to the fullest.

00:00:33.060 Embrace your fears and boldly chart your own path.

00:00:35.980 When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time.

00:00:39.380 Every time.

00:00:40.460 You are not easily deterred or defeated.

00:00:42.760 Rugged.

00:00:43.540 Resilient.

00:00:44.400 Strong.

00:00:45.480 This is your life.

00:00:46.600 This is who you are.

00:00:47.920 This is who you will become.

00:00:49.800 At the end of the day, and after all is said and done,

00:00:52.780 you can call yourself a man.

00:00:55.460 Kip, what's up, man?

00:00:56.440 So good to see you.

00:00:57.300 I saw you like 48 hours ago.

00:00:58.900 But, you know, it's good to see your smiling face this morning as well.

00:01:01.580 I didn't get enough of you this weekend.

00:01:03.320 Yeah, it's a good sign that you still wanted to record.

00:01:05.620 I was like, depending on how the week goes,

00:01:07.760 Ryan's like, you know what?

00:01:09.360 You know, maybe I should go solo on those.

00:01:13.740 I actually learned something about you.

00:01:15.660 Well, I guess I already knew.

00:01:17.640 I didn't know this, but I saw it in action.

00:01:20.220 You and I are so much alike, and it's funny to me.

00:01:23.100 It was actually a little bit funny.

00:01:24.600 I chuckled a couple of times because I would look around,

00:01:27.540 and I'm like, where's Kip?

00:01:28.760 And I'm thinking, well, maybe he's on the boat.

00:01:30.760 Maybe he's, you know, having some lunch.

00:01:33.140 Maybe he's taking a nap on a lawn chair.

00:01:35.760 No, you were moving laundry machines around.

00:01:39.520 You were fixing sprinklers.

00:01:41.700 You were reprogramming door locks.

00:01:44.360 I'm like, yep, this is why Kip and I like each other so much

00:01:48.720 because taking a vacation is just not something that resonates with either of us.

00:01:54.400 Yeah, you got to get something done to feel good about how it went.

00:01:59.100 I mean, you were on it the entire time,

00:02:01.480 but you did let loose a little bit, and we had a good time.

00:02:04.320 The craziest thing is when my boys wanted me to jump on the tube with them,

00:02:08.560 and I jump on the tube, and you're like,

00:02:11.460 this is my moment to just get back at Mickler 0.99

00:02:15.640 for all the bullshit I've had to deal with over the past several years, 0.99

00:02:18.700 and you turned and whipped us around, 0.98

00:02:21.180 and then I eventually fell off, and I was getting back on the thing,

00:02:25.160 and you took off before I was even on the thing,

00:02:27.680 and I backflipped over the back end of it right back into the water. 0.99

00:02:31.140 I'm like, damn that Kip. 0.98

00:02:33.860 Yeah, that's my – I usually do that whenever I'm pulling anybody on tubes. 0.99

00:02:39.600 Once they have a hand onto the tube itself, I'm like, it's go time.

00:02:44.280 Good luck getting on.

00:02:47.100 And you did a cool thing with my boys, my two oldest boys.

00:02:50.140 You're like, all right, when I make this movement, this spinning movement,

00:02:53.260 I want you guys to switch spots on the tube, and they did.

00:02:55.580 They successfully pulled it off.

00:02:56.920 I was impressed.

00:02:57.500 Which is highly entertaining to watch.

00:03:00.320 Oh, so good.

00:03:01.420 So funny.

00:03:02.440 But no, I appreciate you letting my family come up,

00:03:05.340 and we had a really good time with you, man.

00:03:07.040 So, yeah.

00:03:08.320 Good, good.

00:03:09.240 We're glad we made it happen.

00:03:10.240 With that said, should we get into – yeah.

00:03:12.780 Should we get into headlines today?

00:03:14.960 Yeah, let's do it.

00:03:16.080 You go.

00:03:17.240 All right.

00:03:17.860 So I was looking through some headlines, and I often do.

00:03:22.020 I use this program.

00:03:23.020 It's actually really cool.

00:03:24.000 It's called Flipboard, I believe.

00:03:25.660 Let's see.

00:03:26.120 Flip – yeah, Flipboard.

00:03:27.220 Have you heard of it?

00:03:28.020 Yep, yep.

00:03:28.680 It's a cool program because you can basically customize the news that you want to receive.

00:03:34.300 So some of the news things that I get are – let's see.

00:03:39.060 There's like a daily – like a for you, so it's all cultivated towards you.

00:03:45.540 Leadership, technology, business, conservative views, mindfulness.

00:03:49.100 So I get a lot of different things, and I was going through some of these the other day about mindfulness,

00:03:52.820 and I don't have a specific headline, but in it I learned a little bit more about vulnerability opening up to your spouse,

00:04:00.040 and I made this comment or this post on social media, and it enraged people.

00:04:06.100 I was amazed.

00:04:08.400 I didn't think it was controversial.

00:04:10.500 Like I wasn't trying to rile people up.

00:04:12.140 And basically what I said is this – let me just pull this up so I'm not just trying to remember here.

00:04:19.180 I said no woman wants a vulnerable man. 0.99

00:04:21.400 They'll tell you they do, and they're very convincing, but they'll resent you the moment you show any sign of weakness, obviously.

00:04:29.320 Be humble, be honest, but do not be vulnerable with the woman in your life.

00:04:33.620 So how can you be humble and honest without being vulnerable?

00:04:36.700 Very simply, always present a solution or path forward coupled with your humility and honesty.

00:04:42.840 Anything less is complaining and reeks of weakness to her.

00:04:48.100 And I put some context in the caption, but I did not know it would fire people up the way that it did.

00:04:56.560 I actually didn't think it was all that controversial.

00:04:59.380 I don't think the post itself is controversial.

00:05:02.300 I think what was controversial to a lot of people is the use of their sacred word vulnerability.

00:05:09.260 Yeah.

00:05:10.160 And that's where I think a lot of people took issue.

00:05:12.900 And I don't even really want to address the subject itself.

00:05:15.800 We can talk about that.

00:05:17.100 You can jump on Instagram, and we can discuss and debate.

00:05:20.000 And we had some really good discussion about it.

00:05:21.620 But it's amazing how quickly people will react versus respond when you use a word that they don't like.

00:05:33.820 And they won't even dive into the context of what we're talking about.

00:05:37.980 What was fascinating to me is that most of the comments that dissented from what I said, and that's fine.

00:05:42.740 We all have agreements and disagreements, weren't actually really dissenting all that far away from what I was talking about with the context.

00:05:50.860 It was that they took issue with my use of the word vulnerability.

00:05:55.420 And the reason I bring this up is that it leads to a greater discussion in society where I think we've really, really lost the ability to have deep and meaningful conversations.

00:06:05.940 Because one party, whether it's me or another, gets so hung up on one word without really considering, how is it that this person means that?

00:06:15.920 Or how do they define the word vulnerability?

00:06:19.780 And rather than jumping to their emotional reaction, really just stopping and pausing and asking themselves, well, let me try to understand what this person means.

00:06:30.700 And I'm not – I'm guilty of this.

00:06:32.420 I'm not free from falling into the same trap.

00:06:35.520 But I think if all of us, especially as men, because we do dictate a lot of the conversations that take place in our circles, if we can learn to be a little bit more discerning and we can learn to not be so heavily vested in a specific word or concept.

00:06:54.000 And instead really strive to understand what people are talking about before we interject our own two cents, I think we'll have much healthier discussions and I think we'll come to much better understandings of each other.

00:07:06.900 We may not ultimately agree, but at least we can maybe see things in a way that we haven't seen before.

00:07:14.060 And I always say this because I think it's important.

00:07:17.240 I'm not just pointing fingers at the people who disagreed with me.

00:07:21.160 I'm looking at myself in the mirror and asking myself, where have I looked at conversations that people have had or word choices that they've used that have offended me?

00:07:33.700 And if I chose not to be offended in those moments, what could have I learned had I opened myself up to the possibility that maybe there's something I can learn here?

00:07:44.380 So, yeah, not a specific headline, but I saw a bunch of things come up, which is why I made that post in the first place, and it was very interesting.

00:07:51.600 Very, very interesting.

00:07:53.100 Yeah.

00:07:53.760 Yeah, I love – it's – well, just to add to what you said, I mean I can't help but think like we don't even look at why we're mad about it.

00:08:03.700 Right?

00:08:04.460 So, like that's level one.

00:08:06.600 Level one is, oh, understanding your perception and your perspective versus mine and being curious to seek to understand, right, before being understood.

00:08:19.720 And then the other part is, why is this making me mad?

00:08:24.640 Why am I getting upset?

00:08:27.060 Why am I triggered?

00:08:28.400 Why is my heart rate going up?

00:08:30.440 What does that say?

00:08:31.480 What interpretations do I have?

00:08:33.700 How is this tied to my identity that I feel threatened by this?

00:08:36.900 Like, man, we don't even do that number.

00:08:40.480 And I find it fascinating.

00:08:43.220 It's just another indicator on the dashboard of whenever we get triggered and we're upset about something, why?

00:08:50.420 Why are you getting mad?

00:08:52.320 And what does that say?

00:08:53.500 And is that – and should you or should you not?

00:08:55.980 And should you pivot and even being empathetic and understanding yourself let alone other people is – it's really interesting how we do things like that as humans.

00:09:08.780 But yet we never ask that question.

00:09:11.860 I think it's a good question.

00:09:13.180 Maybe it's maturity.

00:09:14.940 Maybe it's having my own battles that I've wrestled with specifically over the past several years where I've really had to do a lot of self-reflection on the way that I was showing up.

00:09:28.680 Not only for my family but for everybody, you and people listening to this podcast and the way I'd show up on social media.

00:09:35.040 And to be honest, I'm embarrassed.

00:09:37.860 You know, I'm embarrassed about the way that I showed up for my family.

00:09:41.280 I'm embarrassed about the way that I even showed up here with you at times or the way that I showed up for people on social media.

00:09:48.120 And I noticed myself getting triggered a lot and, you know, resorting to insulting and demeaning and demoralizing responses that had nothing to do with the actual discussion at hand.

00:10:00.060 And I've really tried to become more aware of that.

00:10:02.540 I'm not perfect at it.

00:10:03.720 I think I'm doing a lot better.

00:10:05.340 You guys correct me if I'm wrong.

00:10:08.620 But what I've – what's worked for me is when I notice my blood boiling and the temperature is getting a little hotter is just not responding at all, you know, not reacting, maybe even asking a question as opposed to making an assertion or an assumption.

00:10:27.860 Assumptions have got me into a lot of trouble.

00:10:29.520 So really working on being conscious of how I respond to people in a way that fosters discussion and dialogue, not tampers it and cuts it off at the knees.

00:10:41.720 Yeah, so I mean in the spirit of this past week being Independence Day, I was talking with the kids a little bit about our founding fathers and who they were.

00:10:53.420 And I didn't realize how young they were.

00:10:57.480 So let's go off the list here.

00:10:59.600 So on July 4th, 1776, here are the ages of our founding fathers.

00:11:06.660 And I can't help but think – I don't think people at that age have the same mindset or even close.

00:11:37.240 To what these gentlemen were at those ages.

00:11:41.200 And I've heard this all my life and Ryan, I'm sure you've heard this, right?

00:11:45.500 Kind of this sentiment of like don't grow up too quick and, you know, take your time and, you know, figure your stuff out.

00:11:53.940 And, you know, like almost like we encourage our children or our young adults not to grow up too quickly.

00:12:01.000 And maybe perhaps said another way, don't be about something too quickly.

00:12:07.560 And maybe we have that wrong.

00:12:09.540 Just maybe we should say, you know what, live a life of fulfillment and purpose and meaning as soon as possible.

00:12:18.180 And if I had to put a pin on what these guys did, it was living a life of purpose.

00:12:25.000 Look at what they were fighting for at that age.

00:12:31.080 Awesome.

00:12:32.480 You know, and I think as I reflect, I'm thinking, man, I need to be about something way more than I even am now.

00:12:40.180 And we shouldn't be waiting to get older to be showing up powerfully because here's a great example of seven men that were showing up in a very serious way and fighting a serious battle.

00:12:53.880 And they were young in my opinion.

00:12:57.880 So it's crazy.

00:12:59.920 It is crazy.

00:13:00.860 I didn't even know.

00:13:01.880 I knew they were young, but I didn't know 18 years old.

00:13:04.060 I was looking it up as you were saying that Nathan Hale, who's largely considered America's first spy, was 21 when he died.

00:13:09.640 He's the gentleman who is credited with saying, I regret, but I have one life to lose for my country.

00:13:14.720 You know, 21 years old.

00:13:17.600 Look at what 21-year-olds are doing now.

00:13:19.940 Look at what we were doing as 21.

00:13:21.400 Look what I'm doing now as a 43-year-old.

00:13:24.620 Totally.

00:13:25.800 I should be George freaking Washington, you know.

00:13:29.860 I got one year to accomplish what he accomplished by the time he was 44 years old.

00:13:34.980 Yeah, and I'm already too late.

00:13:37.840 I think it's easy, though, to discount.

00:13:40.280 And as you're hearing that, I can hear people saying, well, you know, life was different back then.

00:13:44.360 We lived shorter lifespans, yada, yada, yada.

00:13:46.800 I mean, sure, maybe that's true.

00:13:49.460 But I never really bought into the trope of, like, age is just a number.

00:13:55.040 I'm like, no, there's actually something to it.

00:13:58.380 Because I know that there's, like, generally speaking, an 18-year-old is going to be more immature than a 45-year-old, right?

00:14:06.680 But I also know, as you get older, you know, my body's not as quick as it used to be.

00:14:13.240 It doesn't recover as fast.

00:14:14.500 We were on that, too.

00:14:15.220 And I'm like, duh, give me off.

00:14:17.400 This is, this hurt. 0.82

00:14:18.640 This is miserable.

00:14:20.260 20 years ago, I would have never in a million years have said that, you know?

00:14:24.100 So there are real things that are happening physiologically to our bodies where age is not just a number.

00:14:30.720 But also you get to decide there's a guy by the name of Mark Sisson or Sisson is how you say.

00:14:36.240 He's a health guy.

00:14:37.500 Dude, I saw a picture of him.

00:14:38.940 He's, like, tan.

00:14:39.900 He's lean.

00:14:40.500 He's shredded.

00:14:41.060 He's got abs.

00:14:42.240 The guy looks like he's probably 55.

00:14:45.080 He's 70 years old.

00:14:46.180 You know, it's, like, what are we doing with our lives? 1.00

00:14:50.500 And are we squandering our lives on stupid, insignificant, trivial bullshit? 1.00

00:14:56.260 Or are we actually engaged in meaningful things? 1.00

00:14:59.320 This goes back, actually, to that conversation that I had yesterday about vulnerability. 1.00

00:15:03.620 A couple of people said, this bullshit, what you're saying is the reason men are killing themselves. 1.00

00:15:09.700 Like, wait. 1.00

00:15:11.080 You're saying the reason men are depressed and killing themselves is because I'm encouraging them to, 1.00

00:15:16.040 have a plan of action when they talk with their wives about their problems, not just complain and gripe?

00:15:20.840 Like, that's what you're saying?

00:15:22.940 Because I think the real issue of men killing themselves is lack of purpose and meaning.

00:15:28.220 And also, not a lack of opening up to their wives, but a loneliness epidemic with other male friends.

00:15:36.940 So, if you can enlist, this is my theory on it, if you can enlist other men into something meaningful and purpose-driven,

00:15:49.080 I think that will tamp down a lot of depression you're dealing with and the anxiety and the stress and everything else of life.

00:15:55.220 It has nothing to do with whether or not you talk to your wife about how you're feeling.

00:15:58.280 Well, and another way, just another way of saying what you said in that post is it's the difference of having a victim mindset.

00:16:08.180 And someone with a victim mindset lacks hope because it's outside their control and they're not acting on it.

00:16:17.680 The number one thing to, if you're in a victim mindset and you feel like a victim and you feel hopeless,

00:16:25.620 guess what the number one thing is to do to change that?

00:16:29.320 Act on it.

00:16:31.480 Actually do something about it.

00:16:33.360 Have a plan.

00:16:34.560 The minute you have a plan, you step into the path of empowerment.

00:16:38.600 It's fascinating.

00:16:40.280 Now, that step is hard for some, depending on where we're at.

00:16:43.960 But that's how you move from hopelessness is actually dealing in reality and going, here's what's on the table.

00:16:52.640 Now, what am I going to do about it and take action?

00:16:56.620 That's how you move beyond that.

00:16:58.860 And that's what you're saying.

00:17:00.820 The only part of that that I take a little issue with, and I want to hear what you have to say about this.

00:17:06.240 I'm actually kind of tired of hearing people say it's hard for things that aren't hard.

00:17:11.820 And, like, we do that.

00:17:15.760 You know, it's like, oh, going to the gym is hard.

00:17:17.720 No, it's not.

00:17:20.140 It's not hard.

00:17:21.680 Like, you just set your alarm and you make a decision and then when in the morning, and you know it's going to be hard in the morning.

00:17:28.120 But you just make a decision and you get up and you get to get out of your climate-controlled bed, your bed that might even adjust to your, like, height and your sleep temperature.

00:17:41.080 And then you put your clothes on.

00:17:42.920 You didn't have to, like, go shear a sheep.

00:17:45.100 You put your clothes on that some poor kid in China made for you. 1.00

00:17:49.600 Okay, and then you put your shoes on and then you walk out to your truck in a climate-controlled vehicle and it drives you from your house three to five to ten miles away to the gym in a matter of minutes.

00:18:06.260 And then you go into this climate-controlled building.

00:18:08.300 You see what I'm saying?

00:18:09.640 Like, we've normalized this concept of things being harder than they actually are.

00:18:15.360 And I think if we had some perspective on it and said, this is not hard.

00:18:19.440 This is the expectation.

00:18:20.960 This is the standard.

00:18:21.800 This is the baseline.

00:18:23.040 I wonder if more people would be willing to do it if they got over this concept of it being hard all the time.

00:18:28.260 Well, and maybe another way to look at it, and I totally agree with you, is that some things are hard.

00:18:35.680 Like, get over it.

00:18:37.720 Yeah, good point.

00:18:38.420 That's the other thing.

00:18:39.440 We need to normalize that growth is on the backside of difficulty.

00:18:43.640 Like, you know, we were talking about this or I was talking about it with someone is, in my mind, I was like, how do I have some leadership guides around having difficult conversations?

00:18:55.280 And my mindset was, how do I make it easy to do?

00:19:00.600 And I came to the conclusion a couple weeks ago of, actually, it's never going to be easy.

00:19:06.420 You need to be courageous.

00:19:08.420 And stop making things wrong just because they may be difficult.

00:19:13.600 And that's part of the problem because we live in a world that it's like, well, nothing should be difficult.

00:19:20.160 Oh, marriage shouldn't be difficult.

00:19:21.880 Going to the gym shouldn't be difficult.

00:19:23.520 None of these things should be difficult.

00:19:24.940 Says who? 0.65

00:19:25.480 And ironically enough, we all know that on the backside of difficulty is always growth, but yet we want to grow, but not at the expense of having to do anything courageous or difficult.

00:19:38.700 Yeah, definitely.

00:19:41.700 I'm pulling up a couple of quotes here that always stand out to me.

00:19:45.820 So here's two.

00:19:48.600 So this is from Bruce Lee.

00:19:50.440 He says, do not pray for an easy life.

00:19:52.180 Pray for the strength to endure a difficult one.

00:19:55.200 John F. Kennedy says, do not pray for easy lives.

00:19:58.120 Pray to be stronger men.

00:19:59.800 Like life's not supposed to be easy.

00:20:03.380 We can enjoy the comforts of, of modern times.

00:20:05.660 And I do.

00:20:06.480 Don't get me wrong.

00:20:07.420 I do.

00:20:08.320 But also be careful because that's a trap.

00:20:12.880 It really is a trap that we need to avoid and be very, very cautious of stepping into.

00:20:17.680 Yeah, totally.

00:20:19.120 Okay.

00:20:20.040 We're going to jump to, yeah, we, we got some good ones, man.

00:20:23.400 In fact, some good ones that I even flag certain ones because we had quite a bit from, from Instagram.

00:20:29.620 To follow Mr. Mickler on Instagram, that's at Ryan Mickler.

00:20:33.680 Both were X and Instagram.

00:20:35.940 Skylar by Tendorp.

00:20:39.020 Best habits for men to form in marriage.

00:20:42.800 I'm getting married in a few weeks and I want to be the best husband I can be.

00:20:46.920 Best habits for men to form in marriage.

00:20:50.580 These kind of questions are, frankly, they're a little hard for me because if I went through a divorce two years ago.

00:20:56.440 So anything that I say, you know, it would be easy to say, well, you went through a divorce.

00:21:01.480 What do you know?

00:21:02.240 Well, I do know.

00:21:03.300 I know it worked because I was married for 18 years and I know it doesn't work.

00:21:07.580 So take that for what it's worth.

00:21:10.300 I'm always going to try to be as honest as I can be and say, hey, when I was doing these things, this works.

00:21:16.220 And when I stopped doing these things, this doesn't work.

00:21:19.040 So I would say habits to eliminate first and foremost, any vices that you may have.

00:21:26.220 You know, for me, it was excessive drinking and I really let that come between my ex-wife and me and my kids too.

00:21:34.060 You know, I let that really drive a wedge between the relational dynamics I had with my family.

00:21:41.060 And, you know, I regret that.

00:21:42.860 But it is what it is and I've learned from those things and I'm trying to rebuild relationships specifically with my kids that I drove the wedge in between.

00:21:50.280 For some guys, it's pornography.

00:21:53.620 You know, I've talked with a lot of guys and women who their husbands or the guys themselves are addicted to pornography and it drives a wedge.

00:22:05.360 You may not even feel it.

00:22:06.560 It may not.

00:22:07.060 That's the insidious thing about it.

00:22:09.720 Even when I was drinking, I really didn't feel like I was that disconnected.

00:22:13.460 Now that I'm sober, I look back and think, oh, my goodness, I told you already I was embarrassed about the way I was showing up.

00:22:20.040 I didn't even recognize it.

00:22:22.340 I think the same can be true for something like pornography.

00:22:25.180 You know, if you're engaged in that, I guarantee you're treating your wife differently.

00:22:29.760 Sex is probably not as connected.

00:22:31.240 It's not as intimate.

00:22:32.380 You really don't know what intimate physical connection actually is or what it can mean.

00:22:37.200 You're just there solely for the purpose of getting off. 0.91

00:22:39.980 Maybe you're comparing her to the big boob porn star you watched last night and now you have this woman who, you know, maybe she's got some scars or she's got some stretch marks from your children and you're comparing to this, you know, manicured blow-up, human blow-up doll essentially. 0.96

00:22:59.060 And of course, like there's – of course there's going to be a comparison there. 0.96

00:23:02.960 So think about what vices you have and what you can do to get rid of those things.

00:23:08.120 But I'd also say for me the biggest thing is just making sure that there's structured time for communication.

00:23:15.620 You said something as just kind of a throwaway a minute ago.

00:23:18.700 You said, I was talking with my kids about the founding fathers.

00:23:22.400 That's a kind of – that was kind of a throwaway line for you but it was really, really insightful because if you listen, what it means is that you deliberately carved out time to talk about something that doesn't just happen organically but that something is meaningful and significant with your children.

00:23:44.760 And when you do that with your wife, whether that's, hey, every Monday we're going to talk about finances and every Sunday we're going to maybe do something at home where we talk about God and the scriptures or every day when I get home from work and she gets home or she's at home, we're going to talk about each other's day.

00:24:05.360 Every morning we're going to – every morning we're going to do a little five-minute powwow and try to make sure we're all on the same page for the same day.

00:24:11.260 When I was doing those things, relationships, solid.

00:24:15.860 The minute you stop talking, assumptions come into play, guesswork, distraction, temptation, all the things that will divide you and separate you from your spouse rather than draw you closer together.

00:24:30.440 Just making some notes.

00:24:31.960 That's good.

00:24:32.500 You know, the three things, when I think about just my marriage and the things, I'll be honest, that are areas that I struggle with that I know if they were habits, we'd be better off.

00:24:49.280 Yeah, we know, right?

00:24:50.920 Yeah.

00:24:51.140 Yeah, some of these are like still difficult for me.

00:24:53.780 And the top one on my list is fully expressed.

00:24:58.340 If I have an upset, I got to talk about it.

00:25:04.340 And I want to clarify, it's not a, hey, I need you to change something.

00:25:12.520 It might be a request, but it also might just be telling her like, hey, when this happened, it really made me upset or whatever.

00:25:19.480 Like we literally had something two weeks ago, something came up and out of respect to my wife, I'm not going to share it, but it really bothered me, like really bothered me.

00:25:29.380 And I thought about this.

00:25:30.520 I'm like, I got to say something because otherwise it's just going to show up how I, how in my behavior, I'm going to wear it on my shoulders.

00:25:38.780 I'm going to withdraw, I'm going to stonewall, other things. 1.00

00:25:42.400 And, and so while we're driving, I'm like, hey, really want to have a conversation with you about something somewhat difficult.

00:25:48.320 And I would just want to share how I feel.

00:25:50.240 I don't even know what to do with it or if I even have a request out of it, but I want you to know that this bothered me, right?

00:25:58.700 In a kind of a weird way.

00:26:00.020 And just, I just want to put it out there and I don't, I don't have anything to know action items to be frank, but I just want to tell you I expressed that she's like, oh, provided a little bit of clarity.

00:26:11.880 I felt a hundred percent better.

00:26:16.540 No change required.

00:26:19.660 It was fascinating how just being expressed is so valuable because now she understands.

00:26:26.400 And I feel understood a little bit and, and, and, and I didn't stonewall.

00:26:31.140 I didn't withhold communication or I wasn't upset with her or anything just because I was able to talk through it with her.

00:26:38.040 And so being fully expressed is super critical to me.

00:26:41.520 Second, I would say celebrate the differences.

00:26:43.900 I got this from you, Ryan.

00:26:45.900 And in Asia and I, we have grown in a very great way from this perspective.

00:26:51.120 We used to not parent the same way and we used to make it bad.

00:26:57.060 Like, oh, we need to be, we need to be the same type of parent.

00:27:00.960 And we eventually learned we're not.

00:27:04.900 I'm the dad.

00:27:06.140 She's the mom.

00:27:07.000 She's really great in certain areas.

00:27:08.700 I'm really great in other areas.

00:27:10.340 And we need to celebrate the differences that we bring to the table.

00:27:13.900 The firmness that I bring to the table is great for our kids.

00:27:17.960 The extra emotional empathy that she brings to the table is great for our kids.

00:27:22.120 And we need to not demonize each other and our unique differences in the feminine and masculine.

00:27:28.240 And then the last I'd say, which I kind of got from you a little bit, is keep learning.

00:27:33.200 You know, when I think about some of the best times that we're aligned, it's when we're communicating a lot.

00:27:39.100 Now, the tough part is the margin to communicate a lot.

00:27:43.880 And I think it was about last year, Asia was preparing for a marathon.

00:27:50.200 And so she asked if I'd run with her in the evenings as she prepared.

00:27:55.220 That was probably the best alignment that we had because we just talked the whole time we were running about all kinds of things.

00:28:04.300 We'd ask, I mean, not scripted, not, we didn't have an agenda, but we talked about our day.

00:28:09.280 We talked about things that made us frustrated.

00:28:11.240 We just asked questions, talked about a book we're reading.

00:28:14.980 And we were just in a better position just because we had that margin of communication.

00:28:19.280 You guys are in way better shape than I am.

00:28:20.920 You're talking while you're running.

00:28:22.060 I'm like, I don't know how you do that because there's no talking.

00:28:26.940 There's only breathing when I'm running.

00:28:30.380 Well, this is last year, but yeah, that's funny.

00:28:34.940 A couple of things, if I can just kind of riff on what you said very briefly.

00:28:39.340 You talked about fully expressed.

00:28:41.620 Again, that goes back to vulnerability.

00:28:43.380 Some guys might say that's vulnerability.

00:28:45.580 I don't think that's vulnerability.

00:28:47.700 I think it's just honesty and humility.

00:28:50.380 Like you're not there babbling.

00:28:51.880 You're not there being weak.

00:28:53.300 You're not there saying that you're inferior or this is an issue for you.

00:28:56.980 Like you fully acknowledge that, hey, this is something that is important to me, something that was a concern of mine.

00:29:04.260 Again, I don't know what it is, but you didn't – the way you approached it made it a masculine approach.

00:29:10.840 And I think that's one of the issues that I take is that on one end of the extreme, when I say don't be vulnerable, some person might think I'm saying be emotionally closed off.

00:29:21.180 I'm not saying that at all. 0.98

00:29:22.420 And then on the opposite end of the spectrum, somebody might say, well, that means I just need to blabber and cry and bitch and moan and dump everything on my wife's lap. 1.00

00:29:30.400 Well, no. 0.98

00:29:31.820 Like the way you share matters.

00:29:34.240 If you went to her with tears in your eyes, I was offended and hurt and frustrated you'd treat me like that, of course she's going to look less favorably at you.

00:29:45.060 But you said, hey, babe, like I need to talk with you.

00:29:47.140 This is what I interpreted.

00:29:48.580 This is how it came across.

00:29:49.740 This is how I felt.

00:29:50.760 What's up?

00:29:51.320 And you gave her the space to share what she needed to share.

00:29:54.340 There's nothing weak about that.

00:29:57.720 Yeah.

00:29:58.280 It's better.

00:29:59.180 And then the other thing you said, and this is really important and something I'm learning with the relationship I have with my girlfriend, is you said celebrate the differences.

00:30:07.680 But I wanted to kind of deviate just a little bit from that.

00:30:11.140 One thing I'm learning, because I've seen this in previous relationships that I've had, is that I pick and choose the things that I like.

00:30:18.500 Like, and so, I might really like her passion, but when it's directed at me, I don't like it so much.

00:30:29.380 Right?

00:30:29.960 So, I might be upset or offended or chastise her for directing that at me, but then in the same sentence, I'm like, but keep being passionate about everything else.

00:30:39.400 I don't think we get to decide, because what makes her, in this case, my girlfriend so amazing, is also the things that at times can be very challenging.

00:30:49.660 And so, we, it's, I want her.

00:30:55.320 Not this part of her.

00:30:57.700 I want all of it.

00:30:59.960 Even when it's directed at me.

00:31:01.760 It's not always enjoyable, but I want all of it.

00:31:04.720 Because I realize that the things that make it challenging at times are also the things I really, really admire her and respect.

00:31:11.600 And I think for the first time, maybe in my life, I've come to a place where I just accept you for how you are.

00:31:21.500 I don't need to change you.

00:31:23.740 I don't need to fix you.

00:31:26.180 I don't need to convince you to do life differently.

00:31:29.260 Emily, you're a grown woman.

00:31:32.580 And I love you for so many reasons.

00:31:34.820 And we struggle for others.

00:31:36.660 But I want all of it.

00:31:38.500 And I don't need everything to be perfect.

00:31:40.360 Just like I would hope and expect that she would accept me.

00:31:43.880 And if I can't deal with it, and she can't deal with it, then we can go our separate ways.

00:31:49.860 But I'm not here to fix or change or correct or modify you.

00:31:53.240 I love you just the way you are.

00:31:54.960 And that's been a really powerful place for me to get to.

00:31:59.260 Yeah.

00:32:00.320 That's so powerful.

00:32:01.940 Well, and it allows agency and freedom in how they show up without this pretense of eggshells and yuckiness that comes with the judgments.

00:32:14.980 Yeah, that's great, man.

00:32:17.220 All right, Max Noreen, how do you go about rebuilding yourself?

00:32:22.460 How do you incorporate better habits and eliminate the bad ones?

00:32:25.760 I feel like I'm making major progress compared to last year.

00:32:29.560 But I want to do more and bring more value to the world.

00:32:33.780 So rebuilding yourself is so broad.

00:32:38.620 And what I've seen a lot of times when guys come into the Iron Council, for example, that's our exclusive brotherhood, is they come in and they want to fix everything about themselves.

00:32:49.000 And you and I over the weekend, you've got this beautiful property on the lake and you've got this beautiful home that you built.

00:32:54.720 And right next to it, you've got this garage that was clearly there before.

00:32:58.760 You didn't build that.

00:32:59.380 It was clearly there before.

00:33:00.280 And it needs some work, all right?

00:33:03.960 It needs a little work.

00:33:04.900 It needs a little love.

00:33:06.440 But the bones are good.

00:33:08.180 So we were talking about it.

00:33:09.940 We went in there and, you know, you're like, hey, I'm going to rip this siding off.

00:33:13.600 We're going to put paneling on like the house so it matches.

00:33:16.360 We're going to redo the roof, clean up the inside, maybe put a garage door, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.

00:33:20.920 But when you are considering rebuilding that or repairing that, you're figuring out what exactly needs to be repaired.

00:33:27.740 You're not tearing the thing down and starting from scratch.

00:33:30.600 You're like, no, the bones are good.

00:33:32.600 The framing's good.

00:33:34.860 The slab, the concrete, the fountain, that's good.

00:33:37.760 I just need to change a few things here and there.

00:33:39.780 And so you specifically focused on what needed to be changed.

00:33:44.220 And that's what I would suggest to this person.

00:33:47.840 You don't need to fix everything.

00:33:49.580 You need to figure out what you need to fix first.

00:33:53.820 So maybe you look in the mirror and you're not real happy with how you are because you're 60 pounds overweight.

00:33:59.260 Okay, well, that's something you can focus on.

00:34:03.020 Or maybe you feel so disconnected from God and you're like wondering what your purpose on this earth is.

00:34:10.080 And there's no meaning or significance in your life.

00:34:13.640 Maybe you ought to pick up the Bible.

00:34:15.200 Or maybe you're in a relationship and you love this woman and it's pretty good, but like 30% of the time you guys hate each other.

00:34:26.420 And there's arguing and there's bickering and there's nastiness between you.

00:34:30.060 Okay, well, then you need to work on your ability to communicate more effectively so you guys can have civil discourse and get through these issues.

00:34:37.580 Or maybe you pull up your bank account and you're afraid to pull up your bank account because you know it's in the negative or you know you're afraid to open your mailbox because you know you're going to be met with 17 bills.

00:34:48.780 Okay, then you need to focus on how do I learn basic budgeting, paying off debt, restructuring tax strategies, investing, getting a promotion, getting a raise, etc., etc., etc.

00:35:00.740 So the first step to quote unquote rebuilding yourself is to really be honest about where you're deficient.

00:35:10.060 And once you are really honest about that, then you can start to focus on what needs to happen first.

00:35:15.380 The beauty of this is every example I just gave you will relate to the others.

00:35:20.580 I guarantee you, if you're 60 pounds overweight, because that's the example I used, and you start going to the gym every day and you dial in that nutrition, I guarantee your relationship is going to get better.

00:35:32.360 I guarantee your finances are going to get better.

00:35:35.140 I guarantee you're going to have a better emotional and spiritual connection with God.

00:35:40.320 If you start to get that spiritual side better, and you start formulating a connection with God and realizing that you have a purpose on this earth, I guarantee you're going to start leading your family better.

00:35:52.840 I guarantee you're going to look at finances and say, hey, I need to be prudent over this because God has given it to me, and it's my responsibility to do what's right with it.

00:36:01.240 Or that he's blessed me with this incredible body, and so I need to treat my body correctly because it's a gift from God.

00:36:06.840 So wherever you plug into this equation, it's going to get better.

00:36:12.500 But the first step is always to be honest and truthful about what your deficiencies are and then focus on those things.

00:36:19.540 I love it.

00:36:20.900 I had this conversation with, I think it was with Asia, actually, last week, where most transformation for people, kind of like that moment of shift,

00:36:33.420 shift is moving from or moving into ownership of their life.

00:36:42.380 It's always kind of like anyone that you've ever talked to, like read a book, Goggins, your story, my story.

00:36:50.620 Most people, the shift was that they were living a life, waiting and hoping for someone else to save them.

00:37:00.300 They had excuses for how their life was.

00:37:04.000 They were allocating blame to someone else, and they weren't dealing in reality.

00:37:09.620 And the moment of switch was, and this is the key, was this is my creation.

00:37:20.280 I am where I am because of me.

00:37:23.620 I'm out of shape because of me, not because I was raised.

00:37:26.760 I'm not going to hold on to that excuse anymore.

00:37:29.080 You're not big-boned.

00:37:29.620 I'm not going to allocate that blame anymore.

00:37:31.200 My marriage is in shambles because of me, because of how I showed up.

00:37:37.380 It's not my wife's fault anymore.

00:37:39.520 It's not my parents' fault that I never got a higher education.

00:37:43.760 They've let go of the blame, and they've taken responsibility for their lives, and then they take the action to make something happen.

00:37:56.640 Agreed.

00:37:57.520 Nothing more to say on that.

00:37:58.900 It's hard to do, but, man, once you do that, everything changes.

00:38:03.320 Yeah.

00:38:03.600 There I go.

00:38:04.080 Using that it's hard to do thing.

00:38:05.600 It's hard to do.

00:38:06.980 Is it?

00:38:08.460 Or is it just accepting it, you know?

00:38:10.720 Yeah, accepting it, and it's empowering.

00:38:13.940 Like, it's a tough pill, maybe, but it also means it's within your realm of control, right?

00:38:19.420 And that's the light at the end of that tunnel.

00:38:21.720 You know what's funny about that, though, too, Kip?

00:38:23.660 It's like, yeah, we say it's a tough pill, but you know already.

00:38:29.940 Like, you've already swallowed the pill.

00:38:31.540 Well, that's why you're convincing yourself all—that's why you're lying to yourself all the time, because you don't want to accept it.

00:38:37.840 What you already know is to be true. 1.00

00:38:40.300 That's why you feel like shit. 1.00

00:38:42.140 You know the concept, ignorance is bliss? 1.00

00:38:45.180 It's bliss because you haven't—because you don't know.

00:38:48.980 But the reason you're miserable is because you do know, and you're hiding it and not doing anything about it.

00:38:55.440 You're not miserable because it's not a problem.

00:38:57.700 You're miserable because you recognize and acknowledge it as a problem, and you're not doing anything about it.

00:39:04.820 Yeah, and because you're unwilling to do something about it, you allocate blame so that way you can live with yourself and justify your existence.

00:39:12.240 Yes.

00:39:13.180 Yeah.

00:39:13.380 All right, Adam, as a F. Corey, geez, Instagram, why do you believe our country struggles with the idea of unconditional ownership?

00:39:27.260 From a neurological perspective, what is wiring us to choose victimhood?

00:39:32.420 Oh, it's all ego.

00:39:33.900 I mean, this ties in nicely to what we were talking about, but it's all ego-driven.

00:39:38.120 It's self-preservation.

00:39:40.620 You know, you're talking about from a neurological perspective.

00:39:42.800 I'm not an expert.

00:39:44.300 I'm not a neurologist or anything like that, so I don't know the exact things that are happening inside of your brain by any means.

00:39:50.680 But what I do know, based on human psychology, is that we don't want to be ostracized from the group.

00:39:56.800 And incompetence is a risk, a very real threat throughout human history to ostracize yourself from the group, even today.

00:40:04.360 If you're incompetent at work, you're fired.

00:40:08.380 If you're incompetent long enough as a husband, you're divorced.

00:40:12.800 So in order to—and let me say one other thing with that.

00:40:18.620 We're always stronger in a group.

00:40:20.580 We as human beings are not meant to operate alone.

00:40:23.220 We've operated in tribes and packs and gangs and groups and cultures throughout all of our history of human evolution.

00:40:30.840 So if that's hardwired into us, just because we're in an era where I don't really need you, Kip, to survive, we're still hardwired to behave that way.

00:40:43.240 And we still do need other people in a circle of ours in different aspects of life.

00:40:48.660 So when you're incompetent, you're risking—your brain at least believes that you're going to die.

00:40:56.060 Because a thousand years ago, you might have. 0.99

00:41:01.300 If you go on a hunt and you keep fucking things up for everybody, and that's how the tribe eats, but you keep scaring the deer away, and you can't kill it when it comes to you, bro, you're out. 0.96

00:41:12.820 Because we're not going to feed you anymore. 0.99

00:41:16.440 You're just consuming, and you're not producing anything for the tribe.

00:41:20.240 You're out.

00:41:22.280 It's the same thing.

00:41:24.040 If you're incompetent at work, people are going to know.

00:41:26.980 If you're incompetent at home, people are going to know.

00:41:28.920 And you don't want that to happen, so you create stories and lies and rationalizations and justifications, and you market all of that, not only to yourself, but to other people, to convince them that you're still a valuable member of the tribe.

00:41:45.540 When you might know deep down inside, you're probably not as valuable as you think you could be.

00:41:50.840 Yeah.

00:41:51.560 It's all in the quest of not being found out.

00:41:56.160 Of course.

00:41:57.000 It's because you don't want to be removed from society or die.

00:42:04.400 It's crazy.

00:42:05.800 Yeah.

00:42:06.180 And then just think of all the scenarios by which that shows up.

00:42:10.540 Like as a husband, as a student, a kid that doesn't understand something, a subject in a classroom, and you don't raise your hand because you don't want to look like you don't know the answer when you think you should.

00:42:23.960 Or, man, like, or going along with social pressure, political viewpoints, and, well, I better wear a mask if everyone else is, right?

00:42:33.280 Like, that is so, like, it was once told to me that human condition is focus 100% of the time of the avoidance of looking bad and making sure you look good.

00:42:47.860 It, well, you wake up in the morning, you drive what you drive, you dress like you dress, you say what you say, all in the spirit of looking good or the avoidance of looking bad.

00:43:00.120 And I love the context so you can, quote, unquote, survive within the tribes and the communities that you belong to.

00:43:06.680 And that's literally what it comes down to.

00:43:09.740 You know what's interesting about this, though, is, and I agree with that, you know, looking good, not looking bad, again, to go back to the tribes of ancient civilizations.

00:43:19.520 But the risk of you being ostracized 1,000 years ago or 2,000 years ago or 10,000 years ago was significant.

00:43:28.520 Yeah.

00:43:29.160 Right, like, if I was in this really small, rural, remote area in the desert of southern Utah, no dwellings, no electricity, no power, scarce resources, fighting over each other and other warring tribes like Native American Indians used to do, like, if I get kicked out of the tribe, I'm dead. 0.98

00:43:52.120 Like, you have to survive now, not like, well, they'll give me some grace for six months, right?

00:43:59.040 Like, that wasn't an option.

00:44:00.540 Or am I going to go to another tribe?

00:44:02.520 No, you're not. 1.00

00:44:03.520 You're dead.

00:44:05.720 But in modern times, there's a tribe for everything. 0.98

00:44:11.500 That's actually a really nice thing because now you can be a freak, the weirdest freak, the weirdos, like, the weirdest person you could ever be, and there's somebody just like you.

00:44:23.120 So just keep sharing what's on your mind.

00:44:27.020 Say the things that you want to say.

00:44:28.820 Do the things that you want to do.

00:44:30.320 As long as it doesn't impact other people, live your life.

00:44:33.920 There is a tribe built around some of the weirdest, most obscure things you could possibly think of, and that might be something you're into.

00:44:40.820 There's other people that are into that as well.

00:44:42.380 So that empowers me because now I've given myself permission to say things that I want to say, that I believe, that maybe before I thought, well, if I say this, people aren't going to like it.

00:44:54.560 You're damn right people aren't going to like it.

00:44:56.360 But there are going to be people who do, and those are your people.

00:45:01.060 We didn't have that luxury before.

00:45:02.940 We do now.

00:45:04.500 Yeah.

00:45:04.660 So this is an interesting question, and I – well, we'll see.

00:45:09.320 I'm interested in here.

00:45:10.740 Maybe I'm more interested than Miles is on your response here.

00:45:14.060 But Miles Brockman, guitar player.

00:45:16.120 What's your opinion on personality disorders in men and their effect on personal development and growth?

00:45:23.760 And I did a search for personality disorders.

00:45:26.500 Some of them I can't even pronounce.

00:45:29.820 But I'm assuming you probably – I mean these are narcissist, dependent, borderline avoidant, antisocial, paranoid personality disorder.

00:45:42.300 Like these are the ones from WebMD.

00:45:46.120 But yeah, what are your thoughts on personality disorders and their effect on personal development?

00:45:53.360 I will say this.

00:45:55.900 I'm not a psychologist.

00:45:58.180 I'm not a therapist.

00:46:00.200 So I don't know clinically.

00:46:03.700 But I will admit –

00:46:05.020 Disclaimer.

00:46:05.840 Right.

00:46:06.520 But I'll admit like I recognize that there are things such as personality disorders that are clinically diagnosed,

00:46:13.780 that there's a real issue here.

00:46:17.480 But I think probably 99% of what we consider a personality disorder is nothing more than your behavior conditioned and programmed on your life.

00:46:30.240 Like narcissist is one you hear all the time.

00:46:32.440 Oh, that guy is a narcissist. 0.88

00:46:33.780 Why? 0.99

00:46:34.120 Because he's selfish? 0.96

00:46:35.160 Well, then you're a narcissist too. 0.75

00:46:36.620 Like we're all selfish. 0.89

00:46:38.560 Right?

00:46:38.960 What were some of the others?

00:46:42.560 Avoidant personality disorder.

00:46:44.180 Yeah, let's take that one.

00:46:45.160 Let's take that one.

00:46:45.840 Let's take avoidant.

00:46:47.120 So what?

00:46:47.840 You have an avoidant personality disorder because your dad beat you or you watched your mom and dad fight throughout your childhood, verbal, emotional, physical abuse,

00:46:58.580 and now you're concerned about getting married, so you have a disorder?

00:47:01.800 No, it's just part of the human condition.

00:47:05.080 Yeah.

00:47:05.820 So I think there are things that are a real problem that are clinically diagnosed, and I think you need to be really careful of labeling yourself.

00:47:15.020 Here's one.

00:47:15.980 This isn't a disorder, but here's what I hear all the time.

00:47:18.480 Well, I'm never going to get that promotion or – oh, here's one.

00:47:22.140 I'm never going to meet a woman because I'm introverted.

00:47:24.160 No, you're never going to meet a woman because you're telling yourself you're introverted and giving yourself permission not to go talk with women.

00:47:32.460 It has nothing to do with whether or not you feel comfortable doing it.

00:47:36.380 No man feels comfortable approaching an attractive woman. 1.00

00:47:40.820 Some men do it anyways. 1.00

00:47:43.460 So the more that you label yourself – and we do this all the time.

00:47:47.980 We start throwing labels on ourselves.

00:47:50.060 Well, I can't do it because I'm introverted. 0.69

00:47:51.440 Well, that guy's a narcissist.

00:47:52.560 Well, I'm an avoidant personality.

00:47:54.920 Well, I'm anxious.

00:47:55.660 Well, I'm this.

00:47:56.200 Well, I'm that.

00:47:56.760 I'm this and that. 1.00

00:47:57.380 I don't care about your bullshit. 1.00

00:48:01.820 Stop telling yourself that. 0.99

00:48:04.940 You know, if instead of saying, well, I'm introverted, say, hey, I'm uncomfortable talking with people, but I do it anyways because I realize the importance of finding good people in my corner.

00:48:13.540 That's how I am.

00:48:15.920 I'm not totally comfortable being in public spaces with a bunch of random people.

00:48:20.140 It's not actually even something I really enjoy.

00:48:23.340 It drains me.

00:48:25.180 But I do it anyways because it's part of my mission.

00:48:28.700 I realize that it's important to do.

00:48:32.500 So stop putting the labels on yourself and start doing something.

00:48:39.080 Like, use language that's empowering.

00:48:40.800 Well, I'm really, I'm not a great public speaker.

00:48:45.520 I'm just, I'm not supposed to be.

00:48:47.760 You're not, not supposed to be either.

00:48:50.520 Like, you're just uncomfortable talking in front of people.

00:48:53.600 So instead of that, say, hey, I'm really uncomfortable because I care about the way people perceive me.

00:48:58.160 And therefore, I'm really going to prepare for this meeting and be prepared to deliver an important topic to these people.

00:49:03.680 I don't, I don't like the labels.

00:49:07.360 Again, disclaimer, there's probably some people, a select percentage who deal with real mental issues that need to be addressed.

00:49:14.740 But the overwhelming majority of it is just a label that somebody else attached to you and gave you.

00:49:21.500 It's like the little permission slip.

00:49:23.420 Like, maybe your parents treated you a certain way and they said, well, you're different.

00:49:27.400 You know, it's okay. 1.00

00:49:28.660 And they gave you a permission slip to be an asshole or to be a loser. 1.00

00:49:32.340 Like, get over it and start living the life that you want in spite of the discomfort of life that everybody else on the planet deals with. 1.00

00:49:43.180 Totally.

00:49:44.700 Nothing to say, man.

00:49:45.800 I totally agree.

00:49:47.000 We have to be careful that it doesn't serve you and why we're at it, right?

00:49:51.400 Be careful what labels you put on your kids because we do the same thing to them.

00:49:55.380 Um, you know, I, as an example, I remember, um, you met Kalani, you know, this weekend when she was little, she wouldn't crawl.

00:50:05.300 She like did this butt scoot thing with her arms and she would just crab. 1.00

00:50:10.720 It was really weird. 0.75

00:50:11.840 It looked like a dog that had like tapeworms rubbing their butt. 1.00

00:50:15.340 I think it's ass on the carpet. 1.00

00:50:17.240 Yeah. 0.99

00:50:17.840 So she would just do that everywhere. 0.99

00:50:19.800 She wouldn't crawl and she would growl at you. 1.00

00:50:23.000 You're like, oh, cute baby.

00:50:24.180 And she'd be like, ah, and I'm like, dang, you know?

00:50:26.780 So, so we called her monster. 0.81

00:50:29.160 We're like, she's a little monster. 0.50

00:50:30.740 And we would say it tongue in cheek.

00:50:32.760 And I remember Asia and I eventually at one point said, we should probably stop saying that even though, even though it's true. 1.00

00:50:42.680 Because once she starts understanding, I don't want her to think that we see her as that label, even though we did.

00:50:49.740 Because I don't want her to internalize it and then say, oh, well, this is how I am.

00:50:55.860 This is how I show up.

00:50:57.000 And so we intentionally like, oh, it's our sweet little girl.

00:51:01.840 Tongue in cheek.

00:51:03.460 Kind of joking, even though she act like a little monster, just to make sure that the label is the label we wanted. 1.00

00:51:09.800 Not something that was disempowering.

00:51:13.540 So be careful what labels we give our kids.

00:51:16.140 People love it.

00:51:16.820 I watched this video today on Instagram.

00:51:18.500 There was this woman, she's 6'5", and she's a lesbian. 1.00

00:51:22.620 And I had to hear her say over and over again, I had to hear how many times she wanted to tell everybody she was a lesbian. 0.99

00:51:29.060 I'm like, I don't care.

00:51:30.100 Like, that's what defines you?

00:51:32.900 Like, cool.

00:51:34.940 You like women.

00:51:36.300 Great.

00:51:37.180 Like, is there anything else that you can offer us here?

00:51:40.360 But we get so wrapped up in these labels.

00:51:43.540 The other thing that we do, Kip, is we don't just label ourselves and other people.

00:51:50.680 We label concepts.

00:51:53.480 So let me explain what I mean.

00:51:54.800 So the kids the other day said that they wanted something, and I said, oh, no, we're not getting that.

00:52:01.960 That's too expensive.

00:52:06.540 Is it?

00:52:07.440 Who says it's too expensive?

00:52:10.860 And when I say it's too expensive, I caught myself in the moment, and I'm like, wait, what am I teaching my kids?

00:52:17.180 That some things are out of reach.

00:52:20.180 Yeah.

00:52:21.580 But it's not out of reach.

00:52:22.420 Now, can I afford it today?

00:52:25.440 No.

00:52:26.160 I can't even, I think it was, I can't even remember what it was.

00:52:28.620 I can't afford that today.

00:52:30.100 But that's a better thing to say.

00:52:32.000 Like, hey, that's a cool goal.

00:52:34.340 I can't afford it.

00:52:35.280 Maybe we can figure out how to work towards it.

00:52:38.080 That's better than saying it's too expensive.

00:52:40.560 That might be as well, right?

00:52:42.100 Yeah.

00:52:43.040 So we got to be careful with the verbiage we're using for ourselves, but also for little hearing ears of our children.

00:52:51.020 Yeah.

00:52:51.420 I love it.

00:52:52.420 All right.

00:52:54.240 M tries 86.

00:52:55.740 As someone who is a military spouse, I've had to take on the role of a part-time stay-at-home dad.

00:53:02.560 I'm thankful I get to be able to take care of my son, which is six months, and my daughter that is eight years, while my wife works extremely hard for this country.

00:53:11.100 Even though I also work limited hours, I find myself wanting to do more for myself and my family by branching out of my comfort zone for hobbies and side hustles, but not at the expense of burning my family financially.

00:53:26.360 It just seems too difficult.

00:53:27.360 It just seems too difficult narrowing down to what to do.

00:53:30.180 Any advice, I'd really appreciate it.

00:53:32.300 Side note, I'm a big fan of the podcast and has impacted a lot of aspects of my growth in my life.

00:53:38.440 Thank you, guys.

00:53:39.180 I don't understand.

00:53:41.000 Maybe you can help me clarify if you know.

00:53:43.000 I don't understand how picking up some extra work by turning a hobby into a business, that's kind of what I'm gathering here, picking up something to turn it into a little money-generating stuff.

00:53:54.080 Well, I mean, he said hobbies slash side hustles, so maybe he wants to take on hobbies and those would cost money, but they may not necessarily be a side hustle, or the side hustle doesn't work.

00:54:07.460 I'm having a hard time with this.

00:54:08.940 I mean, so you don't think you can have hobbies because you stay at home?

00:54:15.020 I mean, maybe you're not in the financial position to travel the world.

00:54:20.180 Maybe you want to be a world traveler.

00:54:21.720 Like, maybe that's not in your cards right now, but you can't sign up for a $100 jujitsu class?

00:54:27.980 No judgment.

00:54:28.900 I just, I'm curious.

00:54:31.640 You know, look, one of the quotes that comes to mind is, you can do anything, you just can't do everything.

00:54:44.620 And that goes back to what you were saying about priorities.

00:54:47.300 So, yeah, maybe you can't do all the things that you want to do right now, but man, if you can't start a jujitsu class, or maybe you really like nature.

00:54:55.760 Like, actually, here's really something you could do.

00:54:57.480 You have a six-month-old and an eight-year-old, is that right?

00:55:01.580 Like, let's say you really like taking pictures.

00:55:05.980 Okay, so go, like, save some money if you need to.

00:55:08.600 Go buy a $500, $600 camera.

00:55:11.580 And buy a little pack that you can put on your chest or on your back for your six-month-old.

00:55:16.080 Your eight-year-old's old enough.

00:55:17.680 And start hiking around the area.

00:55:21.080 And now you're going to take pictures.

00:55:22.280 Or maybe you can take pictures of your kids because you want to start a photography business, and then you start marketing on a website, which is so easy to do these days.

00:55:30.840 You can go to, like, Squarespace and build one for almost nothing, and it'll take you maybe an hour.

00:55:37.880 And build a photography portfolio and say, hey, I'm doing some newborns right now.

00:55:43.720 Or I'm doing back-to-school pictures because we're coming close to back-to-school now.

00:55:47.300 Or I do landscape pictures or photography or whatever.

00:55:50.560 Like, I think there's a lot of things you can do here if you can be creative and you can get your kids involved in the process.

00:55:55.780 I know it's hard with a six-month-old, but an eight-year-old, you can start introducing him or her.

00:56:00.980 I can't remember if it's a boy or a girl.

00:56:02.880 Him or her to some of this as well.

00:56:04.700 It'd be good for them.

00:56:06.800 Yeah.

00:56:07.360 But I don't think it would burden the family.

00:56:08.720 I think the biggest thing here is talk with your wife.

00:56:11.960 Because I would be willing to bet your wife would be supportive of you having hobbies that you're interested in.

00:56:19.680 I'd be willing to bet that she's supportive of you starting a little side project.

00:56:24.940 In the barrier to entry, man, when I started this podcast, and we've made millions and millions of dollars over this 10-year time frame,

00:56:31.480 eight, nine years, somewhere in there, I started it with probably less than $200.

00:56:36.000 It's like a $60 microphone, $15 hosting service, $20 web hosting service, and that's it.

00:56:48.980 And then social media, which was free.

00:56:50.840 So it costs less than $100 to get this thing off the ground.

00:56:55.280 The barrier to entry is just non-existent.

00:56:59.560 Yeah.

00:56:59.880 I mean, reading between the lines here, I think your last statement is the key thing, right?

00:57:03.880 He obviously, this is more about alignment with your spouse than it is about the hobby or what hobby or anything else, right? 0.99

00:57:12.300 I mean, key things I heard here, it's like, hey, my wife's busting her ass. 1.00

00:57:16.320 She's working. 0.99

00:57:17.560 And I'm a burden, maybe a little bit already.

00:57:22.800 And then if I go have fun and build up hobbies, am I more of a burden?

00:57:28.720 And the other thing I read in here that I saw a little bit is I wanted to do more for myself, right?

00:57:38.420 Like there's a little bit of lack of maybe fulfillment in what you're currently doing, right?

00:57:44.960 Just watching the kids.

00:57:46.120 And I'm not saying you're being ungrateful or anything like that.

00:57:48.860 Like you might be highly grateful.

00:57:50.540 You may be a great dad, right?

00:57:52.560 But there's an itch that's not being fulfilled, and you're trying to find it.

00:57:58.280 And I think the key thing for you to find whatever that is and whatever that looks like is in alignment with your spouse and you guys talking it through and figuring out what's going to give you fulfillment, purpose, and meaning in your life in addition to you being a father.

00:58:15.960 I mean, I would say, generally speaking, that's going to be true of men who stay at home. 0.79

00:58:20.600 So, yeah, I would struggle with it.

00:58:23.680 I know I would.

00:58:25.160 Most men would.

00:58:26.620 It's just it's not it's not part of our biological makeup.

00:58:30.580 Like we're not the nurturers.

00:58:32.380 We're not the we don't have those maternal instincts the same way mothers do. 0.56

00:58:36.720 I think generally we don't find as much fulfillment in raising children as we do going out into the world and making money and bringing home the bacon, so to speak.

00:58:44.820 I'm not saying what you're doing is wrong.

00:58:46.840 I'm not even upset.

00:58:47.940 If it works for your your situation, by all means.

00:58:51.760 But I don't think what you're experiencing is abnormal for any guy who stays at home.

00:58:56.080 But like I said, I think your wife is probably willing to discuss this with you and she wants you to be happy.

00:59:02.900 And I also think there's some things that you can do very creatively that will allow you some fulfillment, but not detract from the household finances or from your role as a part time stay at home dad.

00:59:15.180 You know, if it's talking about the gym, get your ass up before everybody else gets up.

00:59:19.780 Well, but then I won't get as much sleep. 0.78

00:59:22.140 Yeah.

00:59:23.820 Bingo.

00:59:24.160 So what's more important, your sleep or your workout?

00:59:27.520 You get to pick.

00:59:28.660 And that goes back to what I said.

00:59:29.640 You can have anything.

00:59:30.580 You just can't have everything.

00:59:33.120 Yeah.

00:59:33.880 Love it.

00:59:35.320 All right.

00:59:35.900 A couple more.

00:59:37.300 Yeah, let's do it.

00:59:37.940 All right.

00:59:39.440 Corey Castillo, as it pertains to man's responsibility in discerning absolute truth, what is a or the fundamental basis of truth he must recognize before building upon it and leading others to their discernment?

00:59:56.560 He's asking, what is the origin of truth is what I'm gathering.

01:00:01.340 Fundamental basis of truth.

01:00:03.640 God.

01:00:05.320 Yeah.

01:00:06.120 Now, a lot of the principles can be described even scientifically, not all of them.

01:00:14.560 Well, even look at scientifically how truth has changed.

01:00:18.300 I mean, you don't have to go back far in history of what we said was one thing.

01:00:22.040 And then later on, 50 years later, scientists are like, oh, actually are bad.

01:00:26.620 Slightly different.

01:00:28.400 Yeah, but that's not truth then.

01:00:30.860 Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

01:00:32.180 Like things that we say are true.

01:00:36.360 But again, that is not truth.

01:00:39.340 That's just our current understanding of it.

01:00:42.540 Yeah.

01:00:43.060 So we say, oh, it's true that the sun and the planets revolve around the earth.

01:00:49.680 You know, that's what humans used to believe.

01:00:51.920 Well, we said that was true, but clearly it wasn't true.

01:00:55.140 So I think we have to be careful of saying what is true and what isn't.

01:00:58.500 But I think the source of absolute truth comes from an unwavering place.

01:01:02.640 It's by its very definition, unwavering.

01:01:05.820 It just is.

01:01:06.860 And that's God.

01:01:09.020 Yeah.

01:01:10.340 So our understanding of him and our understanding of science and technology and mathematics

01:01:19.160 and our comprehension of some of these principles will change from time to time.

01:01:23.660 I think we need to be open and receptive to that.

01:01:27.540 But absolute truth comes from God.

01:01:30.400 And if you don't believe me, that's okay.

01:01:33.620 You need to figure out where it comes from for you.

01:01:37.020 I don't believe in moral relativism.

01:01:39.520 It just is.

01:01:43.120 I know that there's gray areas.

01:01:45.040 I know that there's exceptions.

01:01:46.460 I know that there's bending the rules.

01:01:48.280 But there's no moral relativism.

01:01:50.100 Like it just is.

01:01:51.040 And it's unwavering.

01:01:52.380 And that gives me faith.

01:01:53.940 And that gives me hope.

01:01:55.660 And that gives me confidence to move forward in my life.

01:01:58.380 And I know when I'm messing up because I'm basing it against what I believe to be absolute

01:02:03.460 truth, which is derived from God.

01:02:05.540 If you don't believe that, find out what it is for you because your life's going to be

01:02:08.980 a whole heck of a lot easier when you're operating around a set of principles that you believe

01:02:14.660 are unwavering.

01:02:15.700 Like, even when you mess up, you can acknowledge, hey, you know what?

01:02:18.980 I screwed up because I went against this principle.

01:02:22.620 And so now I need to rectify and correct or repent if we want to look at it from a religious 0.75

01:02:27.900 perspective.

01:02:29.860 Yeah.

01:02:30.260 Do you feel like realizing or promoting the idea, like, let's think about just being

01:02:38.160 fathers and teaching our children that most things that we deem as truths aren't.

01:02:47.000 They're just interpretations.

01:02:48.600 And people see.

01:02:49.500 And really doubling down on that concept is a benefit to their development as individuals.

01:02:55.500 I probably do that too much.

01:02:57.940 I think we get sideways way too often with ways things should or should not be, aka truth

01:03:05.960 or not right and wrong.

01:03:08.380 I think they hurt us because they stop us from actually seeking a deeper understanding of

01:03:15.220 the situation or the individual.

01:03:18.700 What's your thoughts around that?

01:03:20.520 And is there a negative drawback to us saying that most things aren't absolute truths and that

01:03:27.620 they are just interpretations?

01:03:29.200 Is there negativeness to that?

01:03:32.000 One thing that you'll hear me talk about on the socials is this indoctrination of our

01:03:37.960 youth from the public school system.

01:03:40.660 Yeah.

01:03:41.480 Like our kids are being indoctrinated to an ideology that is not going to serve them in

01:03:46.200 their best interest.

01:03:46.960 And every once in a while, I'll get a comment that says, well, aren't you doing the same

01:03:50.160 thing when you're teaching them about God or religion or this or that?

01:03:54.040 The answer is yes, I am.

01:03:58.620 The difference is it's in my authority to do so.

01:04:04.680 Do I believe that it's absolute truth?

01:04:08.180 No, because I'm a human being.

01:04:10.280 I mess up.

01:04:11.140 I screw up.

01:04:12.720 You know, as best I can, I try to be a decent human being, but you know, some people screw

01:04:16.400 me over and I have ill will towards them or I had an experience and it filters and tweaks

01:04:21.800 and distorts the way I perceive other things.

01:04:24.460 I realize that.

01:04:25.740 And when I talk with my kids, you know how many times I have to tell my kids, I'm sorry.

01:04:29.460 I did last night.

01:04:30.600 My youngest did something and he shouldn't have done it, but he did it.

01:04:34.900 And I handled it incorrectly and I snapped at him and I shouldn't have done it.

01:04:38.280 And so I said, hey, look, I'm sorry, buddy.

01:04:41.320 What you did was wrong.

01:04:43.160 Do you think?

01:04:44.000 Yeah.

01:04:44.820 Okay.

01:04:45.060 And what I did was wrong.

01:04:46.940 I could have corrected you more effectively, better, maybe a little bit more empathy.

01:04:52.140 And I did not yell at you.

01:04:53.200 I'm sorry.

01:04:55.180 So, yeah, I don't, I don't think the way I parent is the absolute truth.

01:05:00.800 Somebody the other day said, I posted something and said, well, this is just an opinion.

01:05:04.660 Like you're presenting it as fact.

01:05:06.900 I'm like, no, it's, I know it's an opinion, but I don't need to preface all of my thoughts

01:05:11.120 with this is my opinion because people are smart enough to discern opinion versus fact.

01:05:17.160 No, they are.

01:05:17.960 They're just playing games. 1.00

01:05:20.300 They're playing dumb. 0.99

01:05:21.560 People do that on social media all the time. 0.99

01:05:24.940 But yeah, it's, it's all indoctrination.

01:05:27.720 It's just a matter of as a parent, if you have the authority to do it and I do.

01:05:32.040 And to your point, I believe that largely, not always, because I get it wrong from time

01:05:37.500 to time, but largely the principles I'm trying to instill in my children are going to lead

01:05:43.500 them to a better life.

01:05:45.040 If I say, for example, we don't steal from our friends, it's because I think that's going

01:05:50.940 to lead them to a better place.

01:05:53.260 Now, if I was broke and had no money and we were in the zombie apocalypse and I saw a loaf

01:05:58.660 of bread that, you know, was there unguarded, I would steal it a hundred percent.

01:06:03.320 I would steal it.

01:06:03.900 It's still wrong, but I'd be able to justify that.

01:06:07.220 So I know it's not absolute.

01:06:08.980 I get that.

01:06:09.960 I understand that.

01:06:10.840 I'm just trying to lead myself and my kids to a place I think will serve them.

01:06:15.220 And hopefully I get it right.

01:06:17.340 I won't get all of it right.

01:06:18.940 Like, as they say, we all screw up our kids.

01:06:21.280 It's just a matter of how you do it.

01:06:23.620 Yeah.

01:06:23.980 I have a feeling how you'll respond to this question.

01:06:28.300 And it's probably not in the spirit that K gray, seven, seven, five is thinking. 0.80

01:06:33.620 Okay.

01:06:34.740 All right.

01:06:35.080 Let's hear it.

01:06:35.660 Bring it.

01:06:35.940 I think it's, but I think it's a good question.

01:06:37.940 He says, trying to, I'm trying to make up for lost time, do's and don'ts.

01:06:44.040 And I know that's super vague, but, but I think you have some nuggets for him nonetheless.

01:06:49.120 So trying to make up for lost time, do's and don'ts.

01:06:51.820 Don't do that. 0.97

01:06:53.980 Cause you're going to try to go fix a bunch of shit that you can't fix and waste a bunch 0.99

01:06:59.060 more time. 0.98

01:06:59.620 So then in a year, you're going to come back and say, well, it's fixing that thing from

01:07:03.100 two years ago.

01:07:03.740 And now I'm fixing the thing from a year ago.

01:07:07.160 Just put a period at the end of the sentence.

01:07:09.860 Like we all have those friends who just drone on and on and on and on.

01:07:14.900 Or you all see those posts where people don't put paragraphs and periods and sentence structure. 0.96

01:07:19.460 And it's just like this blurb of like bullshit and you just scroll cause you don't want to 0.98

01:07:24.820 read it. 0.98

01:07:25.120 Put a period at the end of the sentence, or if you prefer, close the chapter of the book.

01:07:32.460 What's done is done.

01:07:33.680 Learn the lesson.

01:07:34.300 I'm not saying that.

01:07:35.100 Learn what you need to learn and then just change it.

01:07:37.720 I, for example, with my kids could very easily, especially my oldest say, man, I really screwed

01:07:43.560 that up for a year and a half to two years.

01:07:45.460 I need to make up for that.

01:07:47.300 No, I don't.

01:07:48.100 Cause I can't, it's impossible.

01:07:50.200 What I need to do is be a good father now.

01:07:53.900 And I need to do the right things today.

01:07:57.320 And I need to show them.

01:07:58.740 I'm going to get emotional because the other day, him and I had a conversation and I'll

01:08:06.640 paraphrase, but essentially he said, dad, I've seen you.

01:08:10.340 Now, I've seen you change a lot and I know that you're not perfect and sometimes you default

01:08:23.000 back to the old way of being, but I see the work that you're doing and you're better than

01:08:30.660 you were before.

01:08:34.720 And that's all you can do.

01:08:35.820 I can, all I can do is say, sorry.

01:08:39.680 And I have, but I don't keep apologizing to my children.

01:08:43.200 I said, sorry, there's nothing else I need to say.

01:08:45.800 If I was sincere in my apology, then there's no other apology necessary.

01:08:51.960 Hey, here's what happened.

01:08:53.520 I acknowledge it.

01:08:54.580 I apologize.

01:08:55.580 I'm sorry.

01:08:56.460 I'm going to do better moving forward and then do it.

01:08:59.660 And that's it.

01:09:01.000 And then just let that chapter be closed.

01:09:03.580 It's, it's fine.

01:09:04.760 It's good.

01:09:05.260 It's okay.

01:09:06.120 You'll be better off in the long run.

01:09:08.100 And there'll be so many amazing blessings that come into your life when you do.

01:09:13.560 Divorce is a great example. 0.95

01:09:15.340 I'm actually in the process of putting together a course for men who are divorced.

01:09:19.500 It's called Divorce, Not Death.

01:09:21.700 And we're going to talk a lot about some of these issues.

01:09:25.140 My life is better.

01:09:28.680 I'm not saying that I would have wanted to go through that divorce.

01:09:31.820 I'm not saying that was like entirely even a good thing because there's real world consequences to it.

01:09:37.200 But I'm saying my life is better today than it was three, four, five years ago.

01:09:41.080 Not because of the divorce, but just in spite of it.

01:09:45.260 I just learned what I needed to learn and implemented new lessons.

01:09:49.300 And I'm living a much better life with my girlfriend, with my kids, with my business, with every aspect of life.

01:09:55.580 Some of the most difficult things to forgive and accept is our past, actually.

01:10:03.080 And by holding on to it and not putting that period at the end of it and letting it go, we drag it into today.

01:10:15.920 We drag it into tomorrow.

01:10:18.160 And instead of being fully present and showing up powerfully, we're like on this quest of not letting it go.

01:10:27.400 And it will show up.

01:10:29.160 It really will.

01:10:30.240 And I'm a huge, I believe this so seriously.

01:10:33.500 Like it is so critical that we learn to forgive and accept the past for what it is.

01:10:40.280 And we can't change it.

01:10:42.500 And there's a lot of power in just letting that go and living into the present.

01:10:47.880 And you won't and we won't if we don't learn to let it go somehow.

01:10:52.020 And you'll drag it along and it comes with the baggage of what it means and the stories and all those other things when we're not putting the period at the end of that sentence, right?

01:11:05.140 And letting it play into today and tomorrow.

01:11:07.540 I've said this before.

01:11:08.820 When I was going through my divorce, actually, I think if I remember correctly, it was after my divorce was finalized.

01:11:16.520 And my ex-wife said something to me and it was very painful.

01:11:22.900 It was hurtful.

01:11:24.260 She didn't intend to hurt me, but it was hurtful.

01:11:28.500 And it was really hard.

01:11:31.200 It was the most difficult thing I think maybe I've ever heard.

01:11:35.880 And it was also really liberating.

01:11:39.580 Because in my mind, I was like, got it.

01:11:43.260 This is done.

01:11:44.440 And then I closed it.

01:11:48.640 And from that moment on, I'm not saying I didn't have hard days.

01:11:52.260 And sometimes I still do.

01:11:53.500 But from that moment forward, life got incrementally better.

01:11:58.200 But it wouldn't have happened if I didn't close it and stop it and end it.

01:12:01.600 You have to end it.

01:12:02.720 Something has to die.

01:12:04.660 That relationship has to die for you to move on.

01:12:07.800 And I don't know what he's dealing with, but I think that's universally applicable.

01:12:12.080 Good questions.

01:12:13.280 Really good questions.

01:12:14.000 It's powerful today.

01:12:14.940 You guys got me crying.

01:12:16.020 You got me being vulnerable and everything here.

01:12:17.880 Come on now.

01:12:19.140 The gram showed up again in a powerful way.

01:12:21.860 It usually does.

01:12:22.740 It usually does.

01:12:23.960 For better or worse, gram shows up.

01:12:26.180 Yeah.

01:12:26.300 So the Iron Council enrollment is closed officially.

01:12:30.580 But if you're interested to learn more, you can sign up for a newsletter and learn more about the IC.

01:12:36.060 Nonetheless, that's orderofman.com slash Iron Council.

01:12:38.720 But kind of your primary option for kind of banding with us is obviously to connect with Michler on the socials at Ryan Michler, but also look into the Battle Ready program.

01:12:49.860 This is a self-paced approach to what we do within the Iron Council, and it's a great mechanism to prepare you for joining us in Q4.

01:13:00.660 To learn more about the Battle Ready, go to orderofman.com slash battle ready.

01:13:05.300 And, of course, you can find your Order of Man swag at the store at store.orderofman.com.

01:13:13.060 Excellent.

01:13:13.880 Thanks, Kip.

01:13:14.460 Guys, great questions today.

01:13:15.980 Appreciate all of you, Kip.

01:13:17.280 As always, appreciate you.

01:13:19.460 You guys keep those conversations and those questions coming.

01:13:22.160 We'll keep giving those answers, and we'll keep working.

01:13:25.140 All right, guys, we'll be back on Friday.

01:13:26.900 Until then, go out there, take action, and become the man you are meant to be.

01:13:34.400 Thank you for listening to the Order of Man podcast.

01:13:37.340 If you're ready to take charge of your life and be more of the man you were meant to be,

01:13:41.380 we invite you to join the Order at orderofman.com.

Order of Man - July 10, 2024

Secrets to Thriving Relationships ｜ ASK ME ANYTHING

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