Order of Man - Set the Bar High, The Winner⧸Loser Spectrum, and Getting Your Wife on Board ｜ ASK ME ANYTHING

00:00:00.000 You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest. Embrace your fears and boldly chart

00:00:04.980 your own path. When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time. Every time.

00:00:10.440 You are not easily deterred or defeated. Rugged. Resilient. Strong. This is your life. This is who

00:00:17.220 you are. This is who you will become. At the end of the day, and after all is said and done,

00:00:22.780 you can call yourself a man. Kip, what's up man? Good to see you. And you got the right clothes

00:00:27.540 on today, so that's always a bonus as well. Yeah. Sometimes I forget to call you to ask

00:00:33.280 you what you're wearing, but luckily we got on the same page this morning and was able

00:00:37.440 to coordinate. Mine looks better though. Mine's like a more vibrant, better looking orange than

00:00:42.940 yours. How's that? Well, maybe I'm just repping Order of Man more than you are, so mine's worn out.

00:00:51.460 Yeah. I was trying to think of a clever comeback and I couldn't. I guess that's, well, maybe I just

00:00:56.700 have more than one. So anyways, whatever. It's not working. Good to see you, Kip.

00:01:04.400 Yeah. Good afternoon. We got some questions, it sounds like, that we're going to address today.

00:01:09.060 So I think we ought to just hop right into them. Yeah, let's do it. So the majority of our questions

00:01:15.460 today, depending on how many we get through, Iron Council. To learn more about the Iron Council,

00:01:20.600 go to orderofman.com slash Iron Council. Our first question, Zach Carbon, how do you slow down,

00:01:27.680 learn to relax, and prevent burnout? As men, we like to attack objectives and goals full throttle,

00:01:34.160 but if we never take the time to recharge and reconnect, the burnout will take us out of action.

00:01:40.400 Man, slowing down is hard, especially for high achievers, hard chargers. It is for me.

00:01:46.960 But the, but the, the, the thing that helped me the best to be able to slow down is, well,

00:01:54.100 let me reframe it. I used to think that slowing down was non-productive. So if I had to choose

00:02:01.780 between doing something work or whatever, and doing nothing like reading a book, relaxing,

00:02:08.400 enjoying time with the family, that sort of thing, I used to look at it as non-productive time.

00:02:12.840 But I reframed that and realized that when you are slowing down, when you are recharging, when you

00:02:20.360 are engaging different parts of your mind and just life in general, that actually is a productivity

00:02:28.540 activity. It's a productive activity because it helps you be that much more efficient in other

00:02:35.220 facets of your life. So what I learned to do is cut out things that were trivial or non-important.

00:02:40.220 And today, man, I feel like I'm running around like a chicken with his head cut off because I've

00:02:45.060 got project after project, after task, after phone call, after email. And it's not as productive for

00:02:51.980 me if I focus on the few things that are critically important and, and, and just focus heavily on those

00:02:59.800 and then take that time to be able to relax and rejuvenate and recharge. So I think you're looking

00:03:06.040 at it wrong. Just like I used to look at it, which is non-productive. It's a waste of time.

00:03:11.200 I used to feel that way about sleep too. It's like, I hated sleeping because there's six, seven,

00:03:17.320 eight hours that I could be doing something else. And instead I'm having to like recharge my body.

00:03:22.700 But obviously as I get older, it becomes more and more important. And I can see that if I get a good

00:03:28.620 night's rest, that I'm that much more effective and efficient the next day.

00:03:31.700 So reframe this from a negative to actually a productive activity that you ought to engage in.

00:03:41.660 When you take the time to, I don't know, reconnect or recharge, do you find that productivity is

00:03:48.080 increased in those areas when you are productive, like you're more efficient, you're getting more

00:03:52.980 done in those windows when you make that a priority?

00:03:55.040 That I'm more productive in that quote unquote productive time, not the recharge time. Is that

00:04:02.860 what you're saying? You there, Kip? Did I lose you? Yeah, you lost me for a second.

00:04:12.540 Okay. I hear you now. Okay. Are you saying, am I more productive in the quote unquote productive time

00:04:19.440 or in the recharge time, the productive time? In the productive time. Like if you take time to

00:04:25.100 recharge when you are working or you are being productive, it pays off for itself. Like it makes

00:04:32.400 up for that recharge time. Of course. Even with less time, I'm more focused. I'm more effective,

00:04:40.880 more productive with less time. I'll give you an example of this. Years ago in my financial planning

00:04:46.440 practice, I had made the decision to cut my Friday afternoon short from leaving at roughly 536 o'clock

00:04:53.660 to leaving at two o'clock, leaving the office at two o'clock in the afternoon. And I thought my

00:04:58.920 production would suffer, but I was okay with that because the business was doing well. Things were

00:05:04.220 rolling. I wanted to make sure I spent more time with my family. So I was comfortable with a lower

00:05:09.820 production in the business. Actually the exact opposite ended up happening. My Fridays became hyper,

00:05:16.060 hyper productive because I realized that I had three and a half, four hours less time to be engaged,

00:05:22.060 to be productive, to be busy with my work. And I became more efficient. And Fridays actually ended up

00:05:30.620 becoming my most effective and productive days because I had less time to do it. I wasn't dinking

00:05:36.300 around. I wasn't wasting time. There wasn't a bunch of loss of time due to switching from task to task.

00:05:42.860 So I found the exact opposite to be true, which is to your point, you're just going to be more

00:05:48.200 effective in that timeframe. Yeah. Yeah. And I think we can all be, I'm assuming everyone has

00:05:54.160 done this. And I think we've used this analogy a few times in the past where you have an hour to do

00:05:59.980 the impossible. And it's like, I'm going to give it my best shot. You're hyper, hyper focused. And then

00:06:07.020 you actually accomplished the thing that you were like paranoid about that you had minimal time. And

00:06:12.820 you're like, Whoa, like I got a lot done in that hour because I was insanely focused. And it's funny

00:06:20.100 is sometimes we wait until our backs are against all to have that, that type of laser focus. When

00:06:26.380 rowdy, we could do that more often and allow our side, allow ourselves all this necessary time to

00:06:32.540 reconnect and everything else. If we just really hyper focus when, and be intentional with what

00:06:37.660 we're doing. That's exactly right. Yep. That's exactly right. All right. Luke Watts, which battle

00:06:45.380 team is the best? Brocker. That's the battle team leader. Next question. I'm not going to, well,

00:06:55.760 Luke's like throwing out his battle team name. I'm like, yeah, moving on. He says, which advice would you

00:07:01.900 give me? Hold on. I want to know. I want to know what battle team he's part of. Well, it's,

00:07:06.960 is this bad that I'm not even Ariat? Is it? Oh, Arate. Arate. See, I don't even know how to

00:07:15.040 pronounce it. Come on, man. Come on. Apparently Luke, you guys aren't that popular. His is the best.

00:07:20.940 His is the best for him. That's what he wanted to hear. So his is the best. All right. So Arate,

00:07:28.900 by the way, Arate just reached 13 members. So, and they're moving into fire teams. So, and I,

00:07:34.800 and I, and I left this question in Ryan, because I think maybe one, you can give an example of the,

00:07:39.960 the power behind fire teams and people can relate to this even outside the iron council. He says,

00:07:45.020 what advice would you give new fire team leaders for Arate and other new teams in the IC? And what are

00:07:52.140 the key carryovers for the rest of your life? The, the advice I would give is no different than

00:07:58.840 what you've actually been hearing. It's to be accountable. It's to hold other others accountable.

00:08:05.000 A fire team, by the way, is a group within, in a battle team. So we've got battle teams,

00:08:11.520 12 to 15 man teams. And then within that, we've got fire teams, which are three to four man teams that

00:08:16.240 are more tightly knit accountability units, I guess you could say is how I describe it.

00:08:21.760 So yeah, it's the same thing. It's holding those people accountable. It's not letting them shirk

00:08:27.940 their work or their responsibilities or the tasks, the things they've identified as being important.

00:08:31.940 It's doing it yourself, right? You can't lead, you can't hold somebody accountable to something that

00:08:36.820 you're not willing to be accountable to yourself. So that's very important. And then the other component

00:08:41.380 is just consistency. You know, I, I know a lot of guys, not just within the battle battle teams and

00:08:46.620 fire teams and iron council in general, but in life who are very inconsistent. And if there's one

00:08:52.980 skill that I think there's a lot of skills, but there's, but this is a very, very important skill to

00:08:59.300 your success. And that is consistency. Men are just not consistent enough. They get hopped up,

00:09:04.940 they get hyped up, they get emotional, they get motivated, inspired and the rah, rah type stuff.

00:09:09.320 And they do it for a week or two weeks. And then it gets boring. You know, it gets monotonous.

00:09:14.540 This podcast is a great example of that. At times it's like, ah, another podcast. Yeah. It's not

00:09:20.620 always as exciting as maybe somebody hearing it would think it would be, but I made a commitment.

00:09:25.640 And so this is work, this is a job. And so I'm hyper, hyper consistent in this. Same thing with

00:09:32.260 exercise. You know, you can't go in on Saturday and bust it for five or six hours and think that's

00:09:37.820 going to be better than putting in 45 minutes to an hour every single day. Of course, the consistency

00:09:43.920 is what's going to produce the result. So be careful of the emotional roller coasters, the highs and the

00:09:51.280 lows, and try to shave those off. Not so high on the peaks and not so low on the valleys and try to

00:09:57.140 level out your performance so that you can maintain that for a very, very long time. And of course,

00:10:03.160 to his second point of that question, those are the types of things that are going to translate

00:10:06.320 over into every other facet of your life. Yeah. Is there anything else? Like I have a question

00:10:12.320 from John Jenkinson as well. And he had a similar question about current exercise routines, cardio

00:10:19.360 and strength, and staying motivated on a daily basis to ensure that you're consistent. Is there anything

00:10:24.000 else that you would add? Meaning like, don't overdo it. What else would you add to that list of

00:10:30.060 kind of tips around consistency and ensuring that you stick with it, even when you're not motivated?

00:10:35.060 Uh, I think the term stoicism comes to mind for me. I think when it comes to your consistency,

00:10:41.380 your ability to maintain your emotional bearings, we'll call it is going to be very, very important

00:10:47.100 because if you're determining how you perform based on how you feel, it's, it's fleeing, it's,

00:10:53.900 it's all over the place. And so you want to be very, very careful of allowing your emotions to

00:10:59.520 dictate your performance and your activity. So, like I said, a second ago, I try to shave off the,

00:11:07.020 the highs. Like I try not to be overly emotional in a positive way,

00:11:11.840 deliberately and intentionally. Yeah. Because if I'm relying on that as my motivator to do something,

00:11:19.360 then, you know, that's an external circumstance. There's something else that might happen throughout

00:11:23.880 the day that's beyond my control that will dictate whether or not I honor and uphold my commitments

00:11:28.980 to myself. So again, the term stoicism is what comes to mind. It's just, I've committed, I'm doing

00:11:36.680 the work. The other thing that I've found too, is if you say yes to something, maybe it's a helping a

00:11:44.360 friend move. For example, this weekend, you might be tempted at some point to back out of that because

00:11:51.160 you don't want to do it. Who wants to do that? Of course. And so you'll come up with an excuse or

00:11:56.220 a reason not to do it. I think beyond just being a man of your word, I actually think it's very,

00:12:02.580 very important for you to do the things that you say you're going to do, obviously because of

00:12:07.900 integrity, but also because you'll learn the lesson of saying yes to things you shouldn't say yes to.

00:12:15.640 Right. Because if, if you say yes, and then you just back out of things willy nilly,

00:12:20.060 people are going to think less of you. You're out of integrity, but also you're not suffering

00:12:23.500 the consequence of making a poor decision. So if you say, yeah, Kip, I'll go help you move this

00:12:29.640 weekend. And you're trying to back out of it. Just go do it because the next person who says,

00:12:34.200 Hey, will you help me move? You'll say no. And I'm not saying you should not help your friends,

00:12:40.140 but I think people can understand that that's going to apply in different situations. If you say yes,

00:12:45.140 it's got to be a yes. And you have to learn the sting, the lesson so that you'll say no next time

00:12:50.940 when you probably ought to say no in the first place. Yeah. And I would, I would just to add to

00:12:56.740 that, uh, moving's probably a little bit, uh, that example doesn't lend its lend its lend. It's not a

00:13:04.760 good example for what I'm about to say, but I think sometimes we commit to something and then we'll

00:13:09.940 half-ass it and we'll go, Oh, well I'll, I'll do the bare minimum to get it done because, um, you

00:13:17.760 know, because I don't have enough time. You know, what's even better. Don't half-ass it, do an

00:13:22.100 amazing job, right? No sleep at all, turn it in. And then you go, okay, learn my lesson, right? So

00:13:29.520 for me to do the job correctly and, and then pay the consequence as well. But it, but we rob ourselves

00:13:36.040 even sometimes, even if we keep to keep to the commitment and we still do a half-ass job.

00:13:41.120 You know, it's funny. I, uh, I saw a comment to one of my posts that I made the other day and I was

00:13:46.760 talking about setting the standard high for yourself and a guy commented back and he's like, I don't set

00:13:52.740 a high standard that way. I don't disappoint myself. And he was joking, but I think maybe he

00:13:57.940 wasn't, but, uh, I wrote back and I said, why not set a high bar for yourself and then do the work so

00:14:03.380 you don't disappoint yourself. Like there's another option here, right? So you can set the

00:14:09.080 standard low for yourself and you won't be disappointed or miss your expectations. Yeah.

00:14:12.880 That's, that's a strategy. That's a strategy, or you can set the bar high and actually do the work

00:14:19.940 and not disappoint yourself. So you got to look at like, what is the other better way of doing this?

00:14:25.580 Totally. Well, I was talking to someone just the other day about this. They're like, oh,

00:14:29.080 I can't even remember this scenario, but it was like, oh, I feel so sorry for him because,

00:14:33.380 you know, he feels really guilty or blah, blah, blah. I'm like, awesome. Good. And they're like,

00:14:39.060 that's not good that he feels that way. I'm like, yeah, it is because now he'll learn and make an

00:14:44.500 adjustments and evolve, right? Like that's how it is. Or you could even see it like body shaming,

00:14:50.780 you know, it's like, you know, love yourself or evolve your body and get in physical shape. So

00:14:56.640 you're proud of yourself. That's an option too. That's something you could do as well.

00:15:01.080 Look, this is the whole, the whole problem with what we've created in society. It's like,

00:15:06.600 I don't want people to feel bad and people are going to feel bad and they should actually.

00:15:13.260 Like when I lose, let's say I'm being competitive in some environment and I lose,

00:15:18.540 I feel bad about that. And you know what? I should feel bad about that enough to say,

00:15:23.920 I don't want that to happen again. Now there's two things that could happen.

00:15:27.360 I could retreat and never do it at all. And that's not what I'm suggesting. What I'm suggesting,

00:15:32.480 give up, right? What I'm suggesting is you go back to the drawing board and figure out how you need

00:15:37.280 to shore up your performance so that you can win next time. But sometimes the quote unquote

00:15:43.340 negative emotion, and I only use quotations because I don't think any emotion is negative,

00:15:47.800 but sometimes the quote unquote negative one is the right emotion. Sometimes you should,

00:15:55.420 if you eat all the chips and salsa and the entire thing, ice cream, and you have, you're guilty about

00:16:00.300 that. You should feel guilty about that. That's absolutely right. If you miss out on a training

00:16:06.260 session that you had made a commitment to going to and you feel bad, or you feel like a loser,

00:16:10.860 you should, you should absolutely feel like that. That is the proper response.

00:16:14.780 And so we've created this society where we strip away any, I'll use the term opportunity to feel

00:16:23.500 the sting of defeat or to feel the, the, the shame and the guilt of not performing to your,

00:16:30.360 to your standard. And, and I think it's a real detriment to society and it's a real detriment to

00:16:35.500 our maximum performance. This is why so many people are just wallowing around in complacency and

00:16:40.960 mediocrity because we've created the incentives to do it. Yeah. And at the root of it, I think is

00:16:48.380 this additional meaning of it, those, those things define us, but you can overcome them,

00:16:56.520 right? It's like, Oh, you feel bad about it. Awesome. Feel bad, feel remorse and change and evolve and

00:17:03.120 become better. And you're capable of doing that. Like you are in control of the circumstance and

00:17:09.180 yourself, but instead it's like, Oh, don't feel bad. And maybe you're not in control. Like

00:17:15.660 there's the other message that's being taught. And that other message is you're a victim of yourself.

00:17:21.160 Yeah. And you don't have control over things. It's, it's gnarly. It's crazy. And I really think,

00:17:27.060 well, go ahead. I was going to say several months ago, uh, my, my second son had his,

00:17:32.260 his first wrestling tournament and his first match. He, he beat the kid pretty handedly and it was

00:17:39.100 awesome. And so he got excited. Who is this? Is this auto or who's this? No, Eli, our second son,

00:17:44.880 Eli. Okay. Yeah. So he's, he's nine. So he was really excited about it. And, uh, and he thought he

00:17:51.440 was kind of untouchable, right? Cause he's like, I won my first match. I'm good at this. Yeah. And then

00:17:57.920 he rolled with the next or wrestled with the next kid, uh, for a second match. And the kid destroyed

00:18:03.160 him, just absolutely destroyed him. And he got up and he was a little teary eyed. I'm like, talk to

00:18:09.780 me, man. What's wrong? He's like, I just feel bad. Cause I lost. And I said, you should feel bad.

00:18:15.360 That's absolutely the right response. What are you going to do about it? And he's like, I'm going to get

00:18:21.300 better. And he was so excited to go back to wrestling because he wanted to improve and he wanted to get

00:18:27.000 better. And I had shared this story on Instagram or Twitter or something. And I had a bunch of people

00:18:32.740 come back and say, Oh, well, you know, you should have blah, blah, blah, blah. I'm like, no, you can

00:18:36.980 do that with your kids. That's not the kind of adults I'm raising. Like, I'm not going to tell my

00:18:41.560 kid it's okay that you lost. You should feel good. Oh, did you have fun out here? Cause that's what

00:18:47.520 really matters. No, that's not what matters at all. What matters is that you're here to improve

00:18:52.660 yourself and you're pitting yourself against another human being who's trained and practiced

00:18:56.820 and then you can see where you stand and you didn't stack up. So you should feel bad about

00:19:03.800 that. That's why you came here. You knew you were capable of more and you know, you have

00:19:09.520 more potential and you didn't meet it. So you should feel bad about that. Now, some people

00:19:14.160 say, Ryan, that's really abusive. No, it's not. And you can deliver that in a tactful way,

00:19:19.100 but I'm not raising losers. I'm raising winners. And that means I need to be truthful with

00:19:25.040 them. You feel bad, bud. Good. That's the right response. If you didn't feel bad about

00:19:31.340 it, I would be worried. Yeah. I would wonder why you don't care about this or why you don't

00:19:37.960 care about yourself, but you know, you're capable of more. That's why you feel bad. So what are

00:19:43.500 we going to do about it? And he came up with a solution and he trained and he got better.

00:19:48.200 Voila. Like this isn't, this isn't a mystery, but if you, if you take that away from your kids

00:19:55.240 or other people, the opportunity, the experience of these painful emotions, you're crippling them

00:20:03.160 and you're limiting their potential. Yeah. I want to provide clarity or distinction. You said

00:20:10.140 I raise winners, not losers. And, and, and hopefully we're on the same page here, but what I hear

00:20:16.460 you're saying is what's the definition of winner and loser, a winner evolves, grows, pivots,

00:20:24.100 adjusts, doesn't give up, continues to become better. It's not about, you know, Ryan saying,

00:20:29.660 Oh, I have winners. We get medals. No, it's not actually just about winning, but it's actually about

00:20:35.440 constantly growing. That is what a winner does. Exactly. Evolving to become constantly better.

00:20:41.180 A loser gives up. So from that context, do you want kids? Do you want to raise kids that give up

00:20:48.820 that the first sign of trouble, they throw their hands up and woe is me. And I can't do it. And they

00:20:54.040 don't believe in themselves and have no confidence in their ability to become better. It's crazy to

00:21:00.400 think that's what we're suggesting. No, nobody would want that, but they're at no parent would

00:21:05.080 want that, but their actions are speaking otherwise. Yeah. Yeah. And I'm glad that you made that

00:21:09.920 distinction because people are ridiculous. Yes. I'm not talking about literally winning everything 0.99

00:21:15.340 they do. I, I lose every day. I do something that doesn't work out, you know, every day that happens

00:21:21.960 and that doesn't mean I'm a loser. Right. That doesn't mean I'm a loser. It means I lost that thing.

00:21:27.920 Sure. But it doesn't make me or define me as a loser. So I'm glad you brought that caveat up because

00:21:33.900 sometimes I, I worry people are incapable of any level of rational discernment

00:21:40.700 proceed. Although I will say our podcast listeners are higher than the average, uh, person out there

00:21:51.260 who, you know, can't really try to understand what it is we're trying to say. What percent do we,

00:21:57.020 do we call these guys? Is this the, is this the 20%? Is it the, that low? Is it higher

00:22:02.060 of society? You mean of performance, like of society, like of, of high quality, high performing?

00:22:10.540 Oh, 20%. That's high. You think that's high? Dude, that's high.

00:22:16.700 10% might be pushing it. Yeah. I mean, they're out there. I don't want to, I'm not trying to be,

00:22:22.860 you know, pessimistic about it. I mean, they're certainly out there, but 20% high.

00:22:30.540 Yeah. Yeah. It's unfortunate. All right. To, to read or find those controversial posts,

00:22:36.400 which aren't controversial, uh, you can follow Ryan and, and on Instagram and Twitter at Ryan

00:22:41.800 Mickler. All right. Ryan and Kip. You're getting better at these segues, brother. I got to tell you,

00:22:45.500 man, I'm impressed. I have all these notes up here of like, you know, drop this stuff in. Nice hat,

00:22:50.760 by the way. Where did you get that? I was just joking. Good one. All right. What's next?

00:22:56.780 All right. Ryan, Nick, Ryan and Kip. I'd love to know your thoughts on investing your own money

00:23:02.020 into a startup business and how to explain to your wife that the pros outweigh the cons

00:23:07.460 when all she can see are dollar signs, the pros versus the cons.

00:23:12.380 All right. So there's a lot to unpack here and a startup business. I'm not sure if he's saying,

00:23:22.240 who is this by the way? This is Corey Kress. All right. Corey. Battle team Rome. Yeah. So I'm not

00:23:28.600 sure if Corey is talking about a startup that he would not be part of or a startup that he would be

00:23:36.540 actively engaged and part of. I'm assuming actively engaged because you said investing in your own

00:23:42.720 money into your startup. So. Oh, your startup. I didn't hear that. So yeah. Yeah. So what are my

00:23:49.820 thoughts about that? Yes, absolutely. You should do that. Those are my thoughts. If you have a startup,

00:23:55.700 you have an idea, you have an interest or a pursuit or a passion, or you're connected with somebody and

00:24:00.140 you have an affinity towards whatever they're building. Yes, you should do that. Now, don't be stupid.

00:24:05.980 Don't be reckless, but certainly, I mean, that's what I did with order of man. You you've done that. 1.00

00:24:11.060 You you've had businesses like, yes, you should do that. Okay. Any disagreement on that Kip? 0.65

00:24:19.160 Nope. Okay. Second part of this, how do you get your wife to understand? This is the long game,

00:24:25.420 brother. This is the long game. Okay. And we've got to rewind and you have to ask yourself,

00:24:31.020 why should she trust you? And you have to look at it as objectively as possible because she actually

00:24:37.460 might not have a reason to, you might've done, for example, some other investing in the past

00:24:42.960 and it didn't pan out and it didn't go well. So now you come to her and say, Hey, I'm going to invest

00:24:47.360 in this thing. And all she sees is not dollar signs. She, of course, yes, but she also sees the past

00:24:53.580 failures. And then she translates that to what has changed. Well, nothing has changed. So this is going

00:24:59.960 to produce a similar result. So your work, your little past right here. Okay. And I'm not suggesting

00:25:07.080 that you haven't done this. Okay. But people need to understand this. Your work on getting her to be

00:25:12.420 bought into you doing a startup should have started 10 years ago on the last thing, the last harebrained

00:25:20.500 idea that you had, and you should have made that one work. And then the next one and the next one and

00:25:26.020 the next one. So that when you go to her and you say, Hey, I'm thinking about doing this thing.

00:25:30.200 What do you think? She's like, yeah, you should absolutely do that because she knows it's, you

00:25:36.380 have a proven track record of success. So why would she doubt that? So what I would do is I would go back

00:25:42.900 and inventory, some other decisions, big decisions that you've made. Cause look, all, all that she sees

00:25:50.100 is the risk. And I think generally women are more prone to, to be, uh, worried about the risk involved 0.68

00:25:59.760 and men historically are more likely to take those risks. So your odds, you're at odds a little bit

00:26:08.120 here. So the best way you do, just by default, just by human nature. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So again,

00:26:15.000 go back, look at what you've done, look at what has worked. And you know what, if you come to the

00:26:21.620 conclusion that things have worked, then you need to connect the dots for, I'm not saying she's stupid 0.99

00:26:26.140 or incapable of doing it herself. You just need to say, Hey hon, you remember, uh, five years ago, 0.94

00:26:32.260 we had this opportunity and I started the business and it worked out really well. And then I sold it to

00:26:36.340 my business partner. Yeah. I do remember that. Well, we're going to do similar things here,

00:26:41.480 right? So you start connecting the dots. If it hasn't gone well in the past,

00:26:45.460 then what you start to communicate and illustrate to her is, Hey, look, you got to own it. You have

00:26:52.460 to own it. Bring it up first. It's a preemptive strike here. Hey hon, look, I'm going to be

00:26:58.340 investing this money in the startup, or I'd like to, and I want to get your blessing. This is important.

00:27:02.240 This is our decision. It's our money. So I'm going to put $50,000 into this thing.

00:27:07.440 And, uh, I realized that in the past I've made some decisions financially that haven't always

00:27:14.260 panned out real great for us and have frankly put us in a bad spot. Own it. Cause what you're doing

00:27:20.540 is you're taking away the objection upfront. This is sales training one-on-one right here. Okay.

00:27:27.960 So, Hey hon, I've made these decisions in the past. Um, I took out money on our home and I put it into a

00:27:33.920 hard money deal and I went South and we lost $10,000. And then, uh, you know, I gave my brother

00:27:39.200 that $5,000 loan cause he needed to get a new vehicle. And then it ended up getting repoed and

00:27:44.360 we lost the 5,000, whatever. Okay. Whatever it is. But here's why this time it's different.

00:27:52.440 Here's what I've learned. Here's what I'm doing to mitigate the risk. Here's why these partners are

00:27:59.620 good for this. So you bring up the objection and then you have a plan for answering and dealing

00:28:06.120 and addressing the objections that she has. That's what I'd give to her. Yeah. And she might

00:28:13.880 have some valid like feedback, right? Like if by involving her in this process, she might be like,

00:28:20.060 Hey, uh, did you consider this? Because this is where you went wrong last time. Like, you know,

00:28:25.200 involve her, not just to convince her, but like, you know, bring her along and, and get her engaged

00:28:31.620 and enrolled in the conversation. One thing that I always, and this is a little bit related to like

00:28:37.580 investment of a startup, but I think you could transcend this to anything. And I use this all

00:28:42.460 the time on Asia. And by the way, let's clarify. If you had a new startup idea today and you asked your

00:28:47.580 wife, Hey honey, what do you think? What would she say? My wife? Oh, she'd be like, do it. Sign up. 0.99

00:28:53.340 When, why, how come you haven't done it already? Totally. And mine as well. She should be like, 1.00

00:28:58.600 do it. Right. Because of history, right. And a track record. So, but anyhow, what I was going to

00:29:05.340 say is in the, in the times where maybe my wife and I are on the same page and she, maybe she's just

00:29:13.020 feels emotionally about it, like concern about it. I can go to the table and say, Hey babe, for,

00:29:19.240 for you to feel good about this approach, right. For you to feel good about investing this much

00:29:24.060 money, where would we need to be ahead of that? Right. Like how much would you, would, would make

00:29:30.800 you feel comfortable to be in savings or how much of these things would you like to see first for you

00:29:36.340 to feel good about that idea? Like back into it, back, you know, back into it and get an insight of

00:29:41.700 what's really causing the comfort and the concern about risk and address those and then proceed

00:29:49.140 forward. And that might be a constructive way of understanding her point of view.

00:29:54.820 Yeah. I think the, and, and, you know, along those same lines is just ask her what our concerns are.

00:30:00.340 You know, if she's like, no, I don't think we should do it. It would be easy to be upset. Like,

00:30:05.520 oh, well you don't understand. You never trust. Right. It'd be easy to go that route, but just

00:30:11.360 ask her, oh, okay. You don't think we should. Are there some specific reasons that you don't think

00:30:16.820 we should? What are your specific concerns? Maybe I can help you understand those. Not that we have

00:30:22.820 to come to a better conclusion or my conclusion. I'm just really curious to see if we can figure out

00:30:27.900 what's, what's going on here. And I think she'll be, you might grow from that too. Right. Yeah.

00:30:32.440 Well, and you'll probably recognize blind spots. Like she's like, look, she might say, uh, yeah,

00:30:39.700 Kip, I don't, I don't trust, I don't trust him. And you're going into business with him and I don't

00:30:44.120 trust him. Okay. Well, I want to know, like my wife's pretty intuitive. Like I would want to know

00:30:50.420 that if I'm going to go into business with you, I'm like, okay, well, what does she see that I've

00:30:53.860 overlooked? I, cause I like Kip, but what, what's like, what's happening here? Right. I want,

00:30:58.840 this is all hypothetical by the way. Uh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. This is, this is nothing that

00:31:03.920 happened last night. I'm just kidding. Yes. It's hypothetical. This is why we're not doing that

00:31:08.280 project together. Uh, okay. There's one other point that I made that I had written a note here.

00:31:16.000 Um, when you're communicating with your wife, there's, there's a school of thought that says

00:31:21.480 you should only share what's working well. In fact, I've had mentors tell me that you should only

00:31:26.020 communicate with your wife what's working well, because she needs to see you in that light.

00:31:30.320 I disagree with that. I disagree with that. I think that you need to share your wins and losses.

00:31:35.940 Now there's some caveats to this because I don't believe that a woman wants to hear you 1.00

00:31:46.380 act like a woman. Okay. And what I'm, let me, let me explain this. Let me break this down. 0.75

00:31:50.680 Now, women, they want to share their experiences, but it seems to me in a lot of times they're more,

00:32:01.740 uh, venting and more vocalizing it because they're relational and they don't really need

00:32:09.700 like an active path forward. Would you agree with that generally?

00:32:14.300 Yeah. Yeah. Well, the women, and I will say, I will say this, the women who aren't like that, 0.95

00:32:21.400 and I've met some in business in particular, they're very masculine. Not, I'm not saying they

00:32:27.980 physically, they look like men. That's not what I'm saying. I'm saying their behavior.

00:32:31.340 Yeah, but they have more masculinity. 1.00

00:32:32.840 Yes. So you see a lot of successful women in the, in the business environment. When I I've seen, 1.00

00:32:38.440 there's two in particular, I'm thinking of, and they are great leaders of their organizations.

00:32:46.720 They're very masculine in their approach about no nonsense, no BS structured path forward,

00:32:54.660 charging hard. Those are masculine characteristics and qualities. And the women who are successful in 1.00

00:32:59.800 those spaces that that's what they've tapped into. Okay. Now, the reason I say this is if you go to your

00:33:07.400 wife and you communicate her with her, like a woman, you might be undermining your credibility 1.00

00:33:14.560 and authority. So what I'm saying is don't go to her and gripe about all the things that are going

00:33:20.320 wrong in your life. Oh, I did this thing and this didn't happen. And nobody, I can't get new clients

00:33:25.380 and my life sucks and blah, blah, blah. No, that's, that's the type of relationship that she needs to 0.99

00:33:30.720 have with a girlfriend where they can do that together. Oh, my boyfriend and all my job and all what

00:33:36.920 that's what they do together. You don't do that with your wife. What you do is, and I've done this.

00:33:43.900 Hey, hon, I made a stupid decision. And, uh, and, uh, you know, I we're, we're out at whatever, 1.00

00:33:53.720 $2,000, whatever. Okay. I'm just making something up. Right. And, uh, I wanted to tell you because

00:33:58.940 I respect you and I think you need to know, I think it's important that, you know, and also I want

00:34:03.720 to tell you what I'm about to do about it and how I'm going to fix it. And then you do it.

00:34:09.380 So guys will think, oh, well, I just undermined myself because I admitted I did something stupid. 0.86

00:34:13.380 No, you actually solidified your credibility because you pointed it out. So you owned it. 0.93

00:34:20.820 That's a very admiral quality owning your mistakes. And then you outlined a roadmap to fix it. And then

00:34:29.640 you did it. And she saw you do it. She's like, oh yeah, he told me he screwed up. He said he was

00:34:36.500 going to do X, Y, and Z. He did X, Y, and Z. And now he fixed the problem. You're better looking.

00:34:43.280 You're, you're more compelling. You're more influential. You're more attractive to her

00:34:47.860 because you went through that entire process. So I do believe that you need to share wins and

00:34:54.200 losses. Go ahead. Yep. Say what you're going to say. So, so in that example, Ryan, would you say,

00:35:00.140 let's say I go to my wife and I say, Hey honey, I just lost this 10 grand mistake. This is where I

00:35:05.800 went wrong. This is what I'm going to do. I'm going to make these corrections. I changes. And then

00:35:10.000 what, and I'm using this as an example, two days later, I start doubting myself a little bit. Like,

00:35:15.720 man, I sure hope this works. And now I'm concerned and I'm, you know, and I'm second

00:35:21.020 guessing myself. Would you say that is an example of the conversation you don't have with her

00:35:27.020 to enter all this noise and stories that you're running about yourself?

00:35:32.240 Unless you're, yes. Unless you're going to her for advice. Okay. So let's take that. Yeah. Let's

00:35:41.980 take that example. You lost $10,000. You did something, whatever. Okay.

00:35:45.720 You communicated with her and then you lay out the roadmap and then you go back and you're like,

00:35:51.700 Oh, I'm just worried. I'm concerned. I'm fearful. Yeah. You don't, she doesn't need to know that

00:35:55.660 because just get over it and do it. It doesn't matter if you're afraid, like fix your shit. 1.00

00:35:59.920 Right. Yeah. But if you go to her and you say, Hey hon, you remember when I told you I was going to do 1.00

00:36:04.340 X, Y, and Z? Well, I did X and Y, but Z is proving to be a little difficult because of these

00:36:09.720 circumstances. What do you think is, can you, can you see anything or think of anything that I'm

00:36:15.620 not aware of, or maybe I have a blind spot here and she gives you a little bit of a insight or a

00:36:20.840 different perspective you hadn't considered? Yeah. I think that's a good thing. But just go

00:36:25.580 into her and say, I'm scared and I don't know what to do. And please, no, no, no. Yeah.

00:36:30.480 Definitely don't want to do that.

00:36:32.180 What's fun about this conversation, Ryan, is I remember in times of my life where I've had this

00:36:39.700 impression, right? Of like, well, I should be open. I should be communicating my feelings often.

00:36:46.280 And what's interesting about it in the example that we just gave is the fear or the doubt that

00:36:52.720 I'm having. Is that true? And so we're like, Oh, you should have open communication and community

00:36:59.300 based upon false in this base upon. I don't, I don't quite understand. Well, if your self doubt,

00:37:07.260 is it real or is it something you're making it up? Exactly. Right. And so sometimes the communication

00:37:13.520 of, of something that's not real, right. We're communicating like, yeah, but there's danger

00:37:19.260 in communicating something that, that is not even factual. Right. No, I don't agree because

00:37:24.360 your emotions are real. Like, so we're starting to, I guess it's, we're starting to bump up against

00:37:31.460 that territory of like fear is false evidence appearing real. No fear is real. Like it's,

00:37:39.340 it's a legitimate emotion. Now what you're afraid of, you might be able to address it.

00:37:45.740 So maybe you're interpreting a situation incorrectly and that's, what's making you afraid. So the fear

00:37:53.440 is real still, it's not just some made up thing that you shouldn't pay attention to. It's like,

00:37:58.240 okay, well, I'm afraid. Well, why am I afraid? Well, because I've experienced in the past and I,

00:38:02.460 and I lost or I got hurt or I got injured or whatever. And so, okay, that's good feedback.

00:38:07.760 What can I do to mitigate the risk now? So, so if you're afraid, you're afraid, if you're guilty,

00:38:15.720 you're guilty. If, if you're, if you have self doubt, that's legit. Now, what are you going to do about it?

00:38:24.420 Yeah. I think the distinction that that's helping me here, Ryan, is that you realize that there's

00:38:30.820 interpretation, that it is fear, that it is self doubt. And you're not coming to the table with,

00:38:36.760 oh, this is what's happening. It's like, no, no, no. That's just, that's fear that you're feeling.

00:38:41.480 Those are self doubts that you're feeling. And as long as we're clear on those emotions,

00:38:45.540 that's obviously safe to communicate. Yeah. I think there's, let's take fear as the emotion.

00:38:51.320 I think there's different lenses of fear, right? Like, so you're going to go to the optometrist

00:38:56.560 and you're going to get some different glasses and there's all, all different styles and all

00:39:00.420 different variations. And some are farsighted and short side, all that stuff. Right.

00:39:03.820 I think fear is emotions in general are very much the same way. So one lens you could look at is the

00:39:10.720 healthy lens of fear. Hey, I'm afraid. So I'm interpreting this situation through my lens of

00:39:18.220 fear, but it's healthy. And so it's helping me see things that I normally wouldn't see so that I can

00:39:23.260 come up with plans to deal with it. An unhealthy lens is I'm afraid. And then you start misinterpreting

00:39:31.560 everything because of your fear. And maybe you try to back yourself out of it. Maybe you see things

00:39:37.620 as scarier than they really are. Maybe you make excuses. Yes. That's, that's not a healthy lens of fear.

00:39:46.440 It's still fear. You're just looking at it through a different lens and it's not really serving you

00:39:52.560 all that well. So, yeah, I don't, um, I don't really, I don't share my emotions necessarily with

00:40:00.260 my wife. I mean, I might express them, you know, but, but I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't explain

00:40:10.380 them. I don't, I don't understand what the purpose of that would be to tell her I'm afraid. I would

00:40:16.420 say that like that wouldn't instill that wouldn't instill in me any sort of confidence in, in a

00:40:23.440 leader that I was following. Yeah. So, and, and I, I, sorry, I don't want to wrap a rat hole on this

00:40:30.740 too much, but this has been something on my mind of late because I think at least for me, and I was

00:40:36.960 speaking with someone else about this just last week, how much like we have this, or at least maybe

00:40:43.400 it should be, but it seems like there's more than just me in this world that we have this perception

00:40:47.620 of like the, the ideal marriage or the best way to connect with a woman is to, is to express those

00:40:55.480 things, to express your fears and explain them and all those things. And I'm, and I'm now learning at,

00:41:03.080 you know, 41 years old that actually that doesn't serve her and might generate more doubt in our 0.91

00:41:09.380 relationship and might introduce like, and it's not ideal. And that's not really what is best for

00:41:15.760 her or best for our relationship. And it's kind of sad to like, let that go and go, Oh damn. Like 0.97

00:41:22.580 I had this romantic perception of how that should look like. And it's probably not accurate.

00:41:30.180 Right. So where did you learn that? And I'm not saying just you, but I'm saying where have men learned

00:41:34.940 that from women. Yeah. My moms. Yeah. From your mom, from your school teacher, from, you know,

00:41:41.200 a movie you saw where the princess wanted the prince to act a certain way. You, we learned that

00:41:46.260 conditioning from women. But what's interesting about this is even women will say, I want a man 0.78

00:41:51.700 who can express his emotions and be vulnerable with me. And then though, and then they get dumped

00:41:57.120 and they're like, well, I don't understand. I was so nice. And, and I, I shared all of my feelings.

00:42:03.360 And who does she go with? I hate using the term, but you guys be able to wrap your head around this.

00:42:08.400 When I say it, she goes with the alpha, right? Yeah. I don't like using the Greek alphabet to

00:42:14.020 describe men. Cause it's weird and it's not accurate, but I use that term because you know

00:42:20.180 what I'm talking about. She goes with the guy who's assertive, who takes charge, who has plans,

00:42:26.620 is confident in what he does. Who's hyper successful, who isn't afraid of confrontation,

00:42:31.680 who isn't afraid of her, right? And can toe the line or can stand his own with her. That's who

00:42:38.880 she's attracted to. So she's telling you and women do this. They play this trick. I don't know why they 1.00

00:42:44.760 do it, but they tell you that they want the soft, friendly, emotional, vulnerable guy. That's what

00:42:52.560 they say. That's the words coming out of their mouth, but their actions speak otherwise. They don't

00:42:57.860 want that. They don't. One of those has, one of those has security tied to it. They know you're

00:43:04.240 not going to leave. And the other one has excitement and fulfillment in him. And, and, and the guy,

00:43:10.560 and would you say this, right? Well, excitement, fulfillment, opportunity. I mean, yeah. The sky's

00:43:15.780 the limit. Everything I like that. It's a good way to live. Yeah. And, and would you, would you say

00:43:20.200 that in your example, and I know we're not using the best term, but that alpha probably has those

00:43:26.520 same thoughts of doubt from time to time that he's second guessing himself that it's not that he's

00:43:32.400 absent of those, those same thought processes as the, I don't know. I don't know what we call the

00:43:37.900 other guy, the Mr. Nice guy. Um, but they're not being communicated and that he's resolving them on,

00:43:44.740 on his own or with other men. Right. Would you say that? Yes. Yeah. Yes. He, he has, I know,

00:43:52.480 I know for a fact, some of the people that I've had on the podcast, you guys hear and you're like,

00:43:56.220 Oh, this guy's a mate. Like he's got it all figured out. No, he doesn't. I promise you the

00:44:01.800 guys that have on the podcast don't have everything figured out. They have their little insecurities

00:44:05.580 and their little issues. And like you said, they deal with them. That's the difference. They deal with

00:44:13.880 them. They don't cry about them. They don't mope about them. They aren't looking for validation

00:44:17.260 from other people. They aren't feeling bad for themselves or like, okay, here's a problem I

00:44:21.620 have. What can I do to fix it? Got it. I'm going to go do that. Yeah. Hmm. This is fun conversation.

00:44:31.160 All right. Let's move on to some other questions. Very important. All right. Thomas Zimmerman,

00:44:35.560 not so much a question here, but, um, I don't know. I like the shout out here and it's not just shout

00:44:40.380 out to us, but it's actually shout out to, uh, Thomas's fellow members within the iron council.

00:44:45.720 Oh, I don't want that. Yeah. Let's just focus on you and I only read our part. Then I was joking.

00:44:54.400 He said, just wanted to thank you both for your advice and encouragement regarding my oldest daughter

00:44:59.120 on a previous AMA. You addressed issues regarding her drug use, leaving the home and the in-law dynamics.

00:45:05.540 I'm happy to report that after implementing your advice, she is now home and will be attending high

00:45:11.020 school. Members of team Mike have also been invaluable in helping me navigate this whole

00:45:15.660 issue. If it wasn't for the iron council, I don't think that there would be the same outcome. I keep

00:45:22.020 thinking of a question and then answering it mostly by remembering previous podcasts that I've listened

00:45:27.380 to or advice that I've gotten from someone in the IC. So perhaps just a sincere thank you for your

00:45:32.680 dedication to the movement. It has made a very large impact in my life and sub, uh, and, and sub

00:45:39.220 sequentially in the lives of those around me. Awesome. It's awesome, man. So awesome. I'm glad

00:45:45.460 that team Mike's working out for you. Um, that the information we shared served you in some way, but

00:45:53.220 most importantly, I mean, let's be real, you're doing the work. Like how many, how many people listen

00:45:59.400 to this podcast and are dealing with issues or even ask us questions and we answer them and they're 1.00

00:46:03.520 like, no, that's stupid. Or, or they do it for a little bit and then it, and it's like actually 0.98

00:46:09.220 working and then they stopped doing it or they don't do it at all. That's the majority. Like we

00:46:14.360 were talking about earlier. So you're the minority of people who was like, okay, I'm going to implement.

00:46:18.820 I'm going to try that. And you know, you tried it because the situation was dire. We're talking

00:46:24.000 about your daughter, somebody you love on, you know, more than maybe anybody else on this planet.

00:46:29.640 And, uh, your back was against the wall. That's something you said earlier, Kip. And so

00:46:33.400 it was, it was crucial, but guys, the thing that I, I think we need to be better at understanding is

00:46:40.340 things don't need to get dire for you to make better choices with your life.

00:46:46.180 I've been there, you know, I I've talked about the separation I had with my wife and that's when I

00:46:51.340 changed because I was at rock bottom, but it didn't need to get there. If I would have just

00:46:56.720 been a little bit more alert, a little bit more awake, uh, if I would have been engaged in the

00:47:01.080 activities that I've been talking about now for what's almost six years, it wouldn't have got to

00:47:06.580 that point. And I could have made those corrections very easily. It wasn't like I didn't recognize them.

00:47:11.740 I mean, I acknowledged them. I'm overweight. Uh, I'm, I'm not showing her attention,

00:47:17.280 the businesses in disarray. Like I acknowledged all that stuff. And yet I did nothing about it

00:47:22.320 because it didn't hurt bad enough yet. So it doesn't need to get to these dire situations.

00:47:29.320 Just play it out in your mind. If I keep doing what I'm doing, what is the inevitable result?

00:47:35.180 Divorce, losing a connection with it, with a child, uh, job loss, bankruptcy, medical conditions,

00:47:43.240 play it out. I mean, this isn't like, this isn't, we know the script, not we, not you and I, I'm just

00:47:52.380 saying humans. We know we've seen it all. You saw it in your parents. You know what your parents did,

00:47:57.200 the goods and the bads, and you know how it played out, play out your own life and see if what you're

00:48:02.260 doing is going to serve you or hurt you, you know, though. Yeah. Yeah. What's the, what's the term I

00:48:09.500 used to use on when I was a battle team leader was like, cause especially when we start evaluating

00:48:14.780 our vision and what we should be focusing on, you know, a thought that I always enjoyed was

00:48:20.140 what's the probable outcome of your life. If you continue doing what you do today,

00:48:25.300 you know, and a lot of us follow that through. It is, it is divorce. It is dying 10 years,

00:48:33.600 20 years early. It is continuing down the path of being overweight and, and feeling bad about

00:48:40.880 yourself and not having the energy. It is a mediocre job. That's the probable future.

00:48:46.480 Yes. You know, if we continue down the same projection that we're on, if we don't make it

00:48:51.520 a pressing issue, you know? Right. Yeah. It's crazy. Yeah. All right. Okay. Drive on Luca.

00:48:58.840 I'm glad I am glad though. That's good to know on that, on Thomas's question or his comments. That's

00:49:04.000 good to know. I'm super happy, right? Like that's so cool for sure. All right. So Luca,

00:49:09.400 what was the challenge you overcame that you, that you would identify as some sort of pivot point in

00:49:15.760 your life? Additionally, what did you, what did you make the decision to focus on a single problem

00:49:21.760 when faced with several other problems? I'm not sure if I understand that second.

00:49:26.340 Yeah. I don't quite get that second part of that. Let's, let's talk about the first part of it.

00:49:29.840 Maybe you can see if you can make sense of that second part. Well, I talked about just a second

00:49:34.960 ago, the separation with my wife. That was a big part of, of my transformation. You know,

00:49:39.400 I hit rock bottom. My wife is gone. My one-year-old son was gone at the time. And I really woke up to

00:49:44.260 what was happening around me and why I wasn't performing the way I needed to perform. So that was,

00:49:50.040 that was pivotal. That was huge for me. There's other little things that come up periodically

00:49:54.700 that prove to myself that I'm more capable than I previously thought possible. Uh, several years

00:50:01.680 ago, one, for example, is I did the Spartan Agogi, which is a 60 hour endurance event. And there were

00:50:07.360 numerous times more than that, that I wanted to quit and I wanted to throw in the towel, but I didn't,

00:50:13.740 I didn't. And I remember thinking about it after it was over and, and, and Joe dissented the founder

00:50:20.880 of Spartan said, you know, you guys are done. Congratulations. You know, you, you completed

00:50:25.340 the thing thinking, man, how easy would it have been for me to stop at any point that I wanted to

00:50:33.520 stop? It would have been so easy, but I didn't do that. And you come out the other side of it

00:50:40.360 and you're a better person. You're a better human being because you did something that you did not

00:50:45.260 think you could do. There's little moments like that all the time. So anytime you step into something

00:50:50.780 that's uncertain, I mean, even in jujitsu, I felt that way. You know, when I started with you and,

00:50:56.340 and Matt Arrington, I was like, man, I'm like, I'm not going to get better at this. Like, this is,

00:51:03.420 this is crazy. Like, it was just crazy. You know, I'm like, why, why do people do this? I liked it,

00:51:09.300 but I just, I didn't see myself. But it's also miserable. It's miserable, painful, you're sore,

00:51:14.780 you know, like, and I, and I just thought I, I'm not going to do this. And actually I didn't,

00:51:20.440 a lot of people don't know. Like I actually stopped. So I went and did the, um, the origin

00:51:27.180 immersion camp two years ago. And I trained maybe like three or four times before that. That's all

00:51:33.340 I'd ever done. You're like, I'm going to trade three times for, and so I can take all these guys.

00:51:38.440 Yeah. So I went and I, and I really enjoyed it. I did enjoy it. I was very sore. I mean,

00:51:44.920 I was in a lot of pain actually, because I just, my body wasn't conditioned to handle it.

00:51:49.960 And I went for the full week. So it was six, six days of just what, two, three a days. I mean,

00:51:57.080 it was, it was rough. And so I got back and I was like, I'm not doing that. And I, I actually stopped

00:52:02.560 doing it. And I told myself, you know, I was busy and I have these things and this and that and

00:52:06.520 coaching and everything else. Uh, and then, uh, I went to the next immersion camp and I had trained

00:52:15.360 a little bit leading up to that. Maybe, uh, maybe like two or three months of like solid training.

00:52:22.640 And at that point, like I was hooked and then I, I haven't stopped since. I mean,

00:52:28.000 I averaged four to five days a week for the last year, a little over a year, maybe like a year and a

00:52:33.720 half now. Um, but it would have been easy for me to like never return to it. I mean, how many,

00:52:41.960 and how many things do we do in our own lives, your life where it's like, yeah, it was a little

00:52:45.300 difficult and I just stopped. And then you come up with all the excuses and then you proved yourself

00:52:50.740 to go back to what we were saying. You know, if you look at it, uh, imagine this line, all right.

00:52:56.040 And here you are sitting in the middle, you can either go towards the side of a winner or towards the

00:53:00.440 side of a loser. And so when you throw in the towel and you start making excuses, you move off

00:53:05.100 the center line and you just move a little bit more to the loser side. And then you make another

00:53:10.340 bad decision or throw in the towel or quit and you move just a little bit more. And before you know

00:53:14.460 it, if you keep compounding those poor decisions, you are a loser, a complete loser. Or alternatively, 1.00

00:53:21.700 you say, you know what? Like, I don't feel like going to the gym today, but I'm going to go.

00:53:25.100 Well, you move off the center line over to the winner category. And then you committed to helping

00:53:31.500 your friend move this weekend and you don't want to do it, but you committed to it and you want to

00:53:35.540 be a good friend. And so you go and you help them and you move just a little bit further towards the

00:53:40.600 winner side of things. And you compound enough of those actions and behaviors together. You look back

00:53:45.420 at your life and think, Oh my goodness, look at what I created. And guess what all the losers say? 0.98

00:53:49.380 You got lucky. Oh, wouldn't it be nice? Oh, it must be nice to have all this, this free time or 0.98

00:53:56.820 have all that money or have that business or just have something miraculously fall into your life.

00:54:02.140 Those are guys that made bad decisions. They still don't recognize they made compounding poor

00:54:06.760 decisions. And they're over here on the loser side of the spectrum. And they're looking at these

00:54:10.840 people on the winner side of the spectrum and they can't acknowledge their own mistakes. And they

00:54:15.380 certainly won't acknowledge your correct choices and decisions. And there's a huge disparity that

00:54:21.320 they can't seem to wrap their heads around. Yeah. And I, and I think those guys that go onto that

00:54:26.980 loser side, you know, let's use the example of backing out of your word and not helping someone move.

00:54:33.500 They, they don't think they're on a loser side. They're buying, they're buying their BS and going, 0.97

00:54:40.280 Hey, you know what? It was a long day yesterday. I was tired. It it's okay. They come up with this

00:54:47.140 solid reason. Right. And go, Oh, you know what? No big deal. Oh, you know what? Biz works busy. So

00:54:53.400 I gave a subpar performance and just decent work and, and they keep down this path to become more of 0.99

00:54:59.620 a loser. Meanwhile, they have no idea they're a loser because it's all been justified in their mind 0.90

00:55:04.520 that like, Oh yeah. You know, I, I'm still down that middle. Right. I still can jump over there.

00:55:10.440 In reality, they're proving to themselves subconsciously. They're proving to themselves

00:55:14.940 over and over again. You can't do it. You can't do it and you won't. And they teach themselves that

00:55:23.520 man, integrity gap. Yeah. Oh, for sure. Definitely. You know, the other thing too,

00:55:31.660 we have to consider is, and, and I'm guilty of this Kip, you're guilty of this. I consider myself 0.80

00:55:36.760 on the winning side of that spectrum through decisions I've made, but that doesn't mean that

00:55:41.960 I don't make loser decisions. Yeah. Just move back over to the middle. So, so here's the key.

00:55:50.500 If you're on the winning side of the spectrum and you make a loser decision, you actually move back a

00:55:56.820 little bit further to that center line. If you make enough of them, you go the wrong way. So the key is

00:56:01.260 when you make a stupid decision and you will, and I will, and I'll continue to make them. And so will 1.00

00:56:06.720 you Kip that you stop it in its tracks. And even, even better is you correct it. So you make that

00:56:15.820 ground back up, right? So you rectify the situation, you do whatever you can to make the situation right.

00:56:23.240 And then you get back on track to where you were before, but yeah, man, you could take five steps

00:56:29.200 forward and very easily take six steps back. So you, you got to keep the ball rolling and you've got

00:56:36.260 to constantly and continually, and in all ways make the right winning decisions. And when you make losing

00:56:41.940 decisions, fix it quickly, don't let it compound. Yeah. And to your, that compound is momentum.

00:56:49.920 Yeah. Yes. So it compounds and it gets a little bit easier, a little bit easier, a little bit easier

00:56:54.940 either way. Definitely. Let's take a couple more. We're dropping some solid stuff. Okay. Actually,

00:57:02.200 I think Luca was really saying like, how do you, when there's multiple problems to address,

00:57:06.840 what do you tackle? And, and I'm assuming the answer is prioritize and execute, right? Like

00:57:12.160 what's the biggest most important one? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I do it to a lesser degree

00:57:19.360 in my, uh, in my daily planner. So as I go through my list of tasks, you know, you can,

00:57:26.500 you can see, I've got my list of tasks right here. Somebody had made a comment. They were joking

00:57:30.900 around with me. They said, Hey, I noticed that one thing was pretty far down the list. They were just

00:57:34.140 joking. And, uh, and, but to, to clear that up, to clarify, again, I know he was joking,

00:57:43.280 but to clarify, these aren't in chronological order, right? So I'll look at it and say, okay,

00:57:48.740 well, what's the next important thing that, okay. What's the next important thing. Once I have that

00:57:53.480 other thing done. Okay. Now that's important. Now this is important. Now this is important. So it's

00:57:58.220 not chronological. It's not like do this before you move to this. It's like, no, what is the most

00:58:02.600 pressing thing right now? Good. Attack that with everything you have. And then when it's done

00:58:06.240 to the degree that it can, then re-identify, uh, what you need to work on and what the next priority

00:58:12.400 is. Copy. All right. Jonathan Workheiser, Ryan, I know that auto is a strong-willed child. It's been

00:58:21.860 a challenge for you at times. Can you offer any insight and shared lessons learned about keeping cool

00:58:27.460 in reaching this personality type as a father? Everything you experience is a perception of

00:58:36.140 reality. So what I experience and how I feel about all of my children, but let's just specifically

00:58:46.400 talk about my youngest is a perception of who he really is. There are negative perceptions

00:58:54.720 and there are positive perceptions on the same event. So I've learned to choose my perception

00:59:06.340 of it. And that's all it is. I can choose to believe and perceive that he's a stubborn little

00:59:17.020 turd or I can choose to perceive that he knows exactly what he wants and he'll fight like hell to 0.96

00:59:29.420 get it. Which is awesome. If you think about it, which one serves me better, clearly thinking of it

00:59:37.720 in a positive light, which one serves him as a four-year-old, as my four-year-old son better

00:59:43.340 thinking of it in a positive light. Now that doesn't mean I turn a blind eye to something,

00:59:49.220 to some maybe behavior issue or, you know, no, I'm not saying that because clearly there are some

00:59:55.560 things that need to be addressed. That would be like a negative issue, right? That would be something

00:59:59.400 that needs to be corrected, but he's also four. You get to choose how you perceive what's happening

01:00:06.800 around you. And I wouldn't, I would perceive something differently than you would perceive

01:00:12.440 something. I mean, look, we can take the, the, the writing and the looting and all look, how many

01:00:18.140 people think it's a, it's, it's a virtuous thing, plenty millions probably. And how many people are

01:00:24.800 the opposite side of that, where they think it's destructive and, and destroying society millions,

01:00:30.100 right? Same scenario, different perceptions. So you get to choose, you know, when bad things happen

01:00:38.140 to you, when, when circumstances happen that are beyond your control and you don't like how they're

01:00:45.260 turning out or the way they're going, you can choose. Is this happening to me against me or is

01:00:51.660 it happening for me? And so when I see my son do crazy and wild things at four years old,

01:00:59.920 I'm like, that's awesome because that's how I want to interpret it. Now there's,

01:01:05.420 let me help you hone that attitude into something that's going to serve you, not hinder you. Right.

01:01:13.080 But it's just a perception. That's all it is. And that might just come with some level of maturity

01:01:18.020 on my end, you know, after having at this point, four children and, um, leading this organization,

01:01:24.020 this movement, and just doing, reflecting on myself that I look at it and I'm like, man,

01:01:30.160 you're way cooler, way stronger, way, way more resolved than I ever had. I can't wait to see

01:01:36.800 what you're capable of. If I help you hone it in the right way. Yeah. There's two things that you,

01:01:43.960 that I've gotten just two things, by the way, no, no more, no more than two that I've learned from

01:01:49.740 you over the years, but that's it. Don't, don't get a big head. There's only two things,

01:01:54.420 but, but I loved, I love the analogy of like, you look at those traits of auto and you say,

01:02:01.760 how does, how is that going to serve him as an adult? He's, he's a growing person that's going to

01:02:09.000 be an adult. And some of the traits that we conflict with as parents are good traits as an

01:02:15.620 adult. We just don't like it as a kid that we're trying to control. Right. And so I think remembering

01:02:20.920 that is important. Um, and then I think the other aspect of this is like, um, how, how do you,

01:02:30.120 how do you harness and make yourself obsolete? Right. And, and, and a phrase that I've read the

01:02:36.880 other day is like, don't, don't prepare the road for the kid, prepare the kid for the road. Well,

01:02:42.120 in that analogy, auto is going to be fine on whatever road shows up. Right. Right. And so

01:02:49.000 look, look, look at what he needs to do to prepare us as, as, as an adult. And so, um, yeah, it's,

01:02:55.360 it's funny. I have a, I have a quick share cause it's super funny since we're talking about kids and

01:02:59.800 perception. So my daughter, I come home the other day and I, last week I was totally pissed off. I was

01:03:05.860 angry. Work wasn't going well. I was tired. I, you know what I mean? It was just one of those

01:03:10.500 unfortunate scenarios where I'll regret the way I showed up when I came home.

01:03:16.060 And my, my seven year old, she says, she was talking to my nine year old and they're like,

01:03:22.720 yeah, dad's really upset. And, and, and my, my wife goes, why do you think dad's upset?

01:03:28.120 Cause they're like, Hey, maybe we should clean our room to make dad happy. Cause that's usually the

01:03:31.640 thing that pisses me off when you get home. The house is a mess. So they're like, yeah. Like,

01:03:36.280 Hey, maybe we should clean up the house and they'll make dad happy. And my seven year old goes,

01:03:40.820 no, that's not why he's mad. And my wife's like, why is he mad? She's like, because he chooses to be.

01:03:47.640 And I'm like, I love that. And what was, I was great about it. And this is very,

01:03:54.860 this is the insightful aspect of it. I made a post of this online and I had people reply back of,

01:04:01.200 Ooh, yikes. She's feisty. Like, like her comment was bad. And I'm like,

01:04:07.280 great comment. Yeah. You misunderstand. My child just made the relationship on her own

01:04:15.440 of emotion and ownership. Right. If half, half our country did that right now,

01:04:21.980 are you kidding? We'd be, we'd live in a different world, right? Like I was so happy. It was like the

01:04:27.740 proudest dad moment on earth. I was like, Oh my gosh, this is so perfect. Yeah. But a perception

01:04:33.500 I could have seen it as her talking about community feisty. I'm like, no, actually she's speaking truth.

01:04:38.440 Yeah, for sure. That's awesome. That's a great story. You know, the other thing I'd say too,

01:04:43.100 is to answer this question is just a level of awareness. You know, like you could even use

01:04:49.380 situational awareness. Like think about that term, situational awareness. You know, you're out at a

01:04:53.260 restaurant, you're looking around, you're scanning the environment, your backs to the wall. You're

01:04:57.360 looking for people who are behaving out of the ordinary for whatever the event is. You're just

01:05:02.120 looking for things that, that might signify a red flag or something's wrong. That's situational

01:05:07.140 awareness. And you're doing it at all times. You're scanning, you're looking around when you're

01:05:10.140 driving, you're doing it. You don't even know you're doing it. You're checking your mirror.

01:05:13.280 You're checking your side mirrors. You're, you know, seeing how far people are in front of you

01:05:17.060 and you're breaking or speeding up based on that. Right. So we have these ideas of situational

01:05:20.920 awareness. Well, it's the same thing with, with your children. You need to be aware of what's

01:05:26.360 going on, what's happening in their little minds, in their little bodies and your mind as well.

01:05:30.520 Like what's the context and everything else. Right. Right. So the other day, um, my son,

01:05:35.900 I was working on some emails and doing some work and he came in and he was just kind of lingering.

01:05:41.620 This is my oldest son. He's just lingering, like standing over my shoulder and lingering.

01:05:45.640 And I'm like, dude, I'm trying to work. Like, I can't have you doing this right now.

01:05:49.520 Like, please go find something to do. And he left and he kind of like slouched down into left. I'm

01:05:56.200 like, wait a second, hold up. Like, why was he lingering in here? And I'm like, oh, he just

01:06:03.860 actually wanted to be part of what I was doing. He wanted to be around me and he wanted to be part

01:06:08.680 of what I was doing. That's it. That's the only reason. So I got up frustrated because now I'm like,

01:06:14.780 now I got to go fix the problem that I just created. And I go down. I'm like, Hey bud,

01:06:20.520 look, I shouldn't have snapped at you. I apologize for snapping at you. Uh, you were hanging out.

01:06:26.280 Why were you hanging out? He's like, I just wanted to see what you were doing. Like, and like,

01:06:29.900 see what was going on. And I'm like, cool, come on. And so he came upstairs. I went through some

01:06:36.320 emails with him. I showed him. I'm like, I respond this way to this. And here's how I do my emails.

01:06:40.700 I recorded a video. I'm like, do you want to watch me record a video? He's like, yeah. I'm like,

01:06:44.320 okay. So I recorded a video and he sat there and watched how I did it. And it was very productive,

01:06:50.380 but it was, it was because I was not situationally aware that I snapped like that. And granted,

01:06:58.140 there might be times where I might need to say, Hey, bud, I'm actually about to jump on a call.

01:07:02.680 So truly you can't be in here right now, but that wasn't one of those situations.

01:07:07.400 If I would have just taken a breath and just said, okay, well, why is he here?

01:07:11.560 Just try to get a little bit of awareness about the context and surroundings. I would have made a way

01:07:15.780 better decision initially, instead of having to go back and fix the problem and make it a better

01:07:22.940 situation. So yeah, just be situationally aware. Cool. All right. Let's do one more question.

01:07:28.440 This is a good one. Okay. So Grant Holmes, since joining the IC, my wife has noticed an increase in

01:07:34.020 drive and productivity in myself. It seems like it has made her consider what she can make

01:07:39.260 or what she can make improvements on, which is great. Can you recommend any books that I can

01:07:45.680 recommend to my wife? Maybe some that your wife has benefited from. She would like to better herself

01:07:51.480 regarding mental health, fortitude with the goals of serving our family and future children.

01:07:56.760 Hey, look, first of all, congratulations, man. Talk about influence. That's, that is a perfect,

01:08:05.460 a prime example of the influence that we've been talking about kit for years.

01:08:09.760 You fix yourself and people will be inspired by that to fix themselves. This is great. This is an

01:08:17.140 amazing opportunity for you. Now let's talk about self-development for a second. Okay. In my experience,

01:08:25.060 I don't actually, now that I say it, I'm not going to say that. Cause I don't think it's true

01:08:29.280 for me. It's true. And what I was going to say is that, uh, men generally like the, like the self

01:08:35.880 help books and all that. I don't know if that's true, but for me, anecdotally it is like, I like

01:08:41.240 the self help books. I like the courses. I like the podcast about business and marketing. Like that's

01:08:46.740 what I like. And I used to make the assumption that that's what she would like to my wife. 0.83

01:08:52.400 And so I would try to coerce her and trick her and manipulate her. If you read this,

01:08:58.960 then I'll read one of your book. Like I do all kinds of stuff like that to try to get her 1.00

01:09:03.100 on the quote unquote self-development train. And then I realized I'm actually becoming my own

01:09:10.200 worst enemy because not only is she not enjoying it, she actually despises it because I'm trying

01:09:15.540 to force it upon her to do. And what I came to the conclusion of is that my self-development path

01:09:21.520 doesn't need to be her self-development path. Like they're different. So when he asks,

01:09:28.340 well, what is your wife like? She likes books on canning and she likes books and courses on,

01:09:35.840 uh, how to keep bees. And she's, she just signed up for masterclass. And if I signed up for masterclass,

01:09:43.360 I would take the accounting course and I would take the marketing course. And I would take the,

01:09:48.700 how to do a podcast course. That's what I would do. And she signed up for the grilling course,

01:09:54.660 like how to cook food and how to grill better, how to grow your plants more effectively in small

01:10:00.500 spaces. Like these are the things that, and I'm like, well, why is she doing that? That's dumb.

01:10:04.700 Like she should be doing these other things. And I realized, oh, that's self-development. 0.99

01:10:08.520 That is self-development. It's her self-development. So to answer the question,

01:10:13.540 what books, whatever she's into, I can't answer. I don't know what she's into the other day. I was

01:10:20.740 listening to Matt Walsh and he, I didn't know this. He likes bees and he suggested a beekeeping

01:10:25.260 book. So I jumped on Amazon. I bought a beekeeping book that he suggested. I'm like, I don't,

01:10:30.700 this has absolutely zero interest to me at all. I will never read this. I probably won't even crack

01:10:34.900 the cover, but he said it was good. And he seems like he likes doing bee stuff. So, okay, got it.

01:10:39.720 Got it a couple of days in the mail, gave it to her. And she's like, she was so thrilled that

01:10:44.560 it was something that she was interested in. And I was acknowledging it and fostering it, right?

01:10:50.820 I invested in her. I said, here's this book. I don't know if it's good or not, but it came

01:10:55.360 highly suggested. She's like, I've heard about this book. This is a great book. And her eyes lit up and

01:11:00.140 she was flipping through the page. She was excited about it. That's what we need to do with our wives 1.00

01:11:03.800 guys is we need to, this goes back to situationally aware. So what books do you get her? What's the

01:11:11.160 last thing she said that she was excited about? If you can't answer that question, that's the first

01:11:16.860 step. When you're sitting down and having a conversation, when does, when does she light

01:11:21.180 up? What does she get excited about? What inspires her? What, what fosters creativity or, or inspiration

01:11:29.460 in her, listen for these clues and then invest in those things for her. Hey hon, last night you were

01:11:36.100 talking about quilting. I don't know, whatever quilting. And I saw this book on Amazon and I

01:11:45.200 thought you'd really like it, man. You know how far that would go on her, not only your self-development

01:11:50.560 journey, but binding you two together. I mean, you guys would become unstoppable if you did that over

01:11:55.340 and over and over again. And by the way, if you do it for her, clearly she's open to being

01:12:01.660 influenced by you. She will start doing that for you, which is a nice thing as well.

01:12:08.680 So not a specific answer, but ah, does that, what do you think Kip?

01:12:13.660 I think it's the accurate answer, right? Because I mean, something that might resonate with you may

01:12:19.160 not resonate with her. I mean, now that's not always the case, right? I think you could be having a

01:12:23.940 conversation with her. Like I was talking with Asia about a book I was reading and she was like,

01:12:28.160 what book was that again? And now she wants to read it, right? Because we had a conversation.

01:12:33.060 So that might happen from time to time, but I agree with you, Ryan. I think far too often

01:12:37.780 we just don't see, we have to pause and see that they see things differently. Asia does stuff all the 0.90

01:12:46.280 time. I'm like, what are you doing? That's a waste of time. Why would you even worry? We're looking

01:12:51.600 at building a house and she's just constantly looking at plans all the time. I'm like, why do

01:12:56.460 you even do that until we have authorization and we know exactly like, um, but she enjoys it. 0.97

01:13:02.660 You know what I mean? She, she enjoys the conversation where I'm thinking that's a waste

01:13:06.600 of time to focus on something until you have all the evidence of what the decision, right? I'm trying

01:13:11.180 to be efficient. She's doing something that's fun, you know?

01:13:14.540 And if we were wise, we would not, we would not say, and I'm not calling you out specifically

01:13:20.560 because I'm guilty of this too, but if we were wise, we would not say, why are you doing that?

01:13:25.980 It's a waste of time. We would actually buy her the home magazine at the grocery store when we

01:13:31.180 were picking up steaks. Hey hon, um, I was standing at the counter and this home makeover magazine was

01:13:38.100 on the rack and I just got it. Cause it looked like it maybe has some cool ideas and I just got

01:13:42.380 it for you and it cost you two bucks. Yeah. Yeah. And the perfect example, like here's that,

01:13:49.320 here's the perfect example. She likes designing. She's totally like, and I'm like, honey, it's

01:13:55.640 cheaper to buy a blueprint from another company. We ensure that it's all accurate versus her like

01:14:00.740 drawing her own stuff. Right. And then being an engineer to make, make it real. And in hindsight,

01:14:06.360 I'm like, Oh, she actually enjoys that. Right. I should actually get her a book on how to design

01:14:13.540 your own home and architectural designs and other things. And she'd probably highly, highly enjoy it,

01:14:21.180 which I want to clarify. I have not done that at all. And once we hang up here, maybe I'll go ahead

01:14:26.280 and hop on and take care of that. You know, it's interesting though, and what you just said, Kip,

01:14:31.520 and I think this is very telling for a lot of us is you just communicated what you value

01:14:37.440 and in just in this isolated thing, right? But I'm sure it applies to a lot of your life.

01:14:42.520 You said it would be cheaper to do X, Y, and Z. Well, that's what you value. Hyper efficiency,

01:14:49.640 cost-effective, smart, rational financial decisions. You just said that that's what you value.

01:14:56.420 Yeah. She, on the other hand, values, and I'm not saying she doesn't value those things,

01:15:01.920 but the greater value probably is the creative process, the freedom of doing her own way,

01:15:10.960 a little bit of ownership in there. And these are her priorities. So we listen for these clues

01:15:16.060 and that's what helps you get her on her own self-development path.

01:15:20.240 Yeah. Yeah. I love it. All right, man. Let's wrap up.

01:15:25.120 All right. I got some action items. Let me, hold on. Let me take some notes.

01:15:28.880 Let me add it to my bad planner task list. That's right.

01:15:35.620 All right, man. So guys in the future, you want to submit questions to the AMA one,

01:15:40.960 you can get on the court of life and actually start being a winner and not a loser based upon

01:15:47.220 the definition we gave earlier and join us in the iron council. That's orderofman.com slash iron

01:15:53.720 council, or you can join us on Facebook. I don't know if I condone that message.

01:15:58.780 Hey, you have to listen to the podcast to understand what winner and loser was all about. So don't judge

01:16:03.640 us. Yeah. Listen earlier. What, what our definition of winner and loser is. So I'm, I'm, I'm suspecting a

01:16:10.720 future Instagram post of winner versus loser definition by Mr. Mickler, um, to view that post

01:16:18.040 and others go to Ryan Mickler and write R Y a N M I C H L E R. And of course you can support the 0.74

01:16:26.200 movement by sharing the message. And you can do that through YouTube, uh, your podcast aggregators

01:16:31.280 and, um, you know, join us. Right. The last thing I would say Kip is, uh, we've got, uh, some new

01:16:39.960 merchandise coming in the store that will be available very soon. Um, somebody in, in the

01:16:45.360 iron council had said, you told us, did you see this? Oh yeah, totally. It was super. Yeah. He's

01:16:51.180 like, you told us to go to the store and I go to the store and everything's sold out. I'm like, bro,

01:16:56.280 this, we told you that three days ago, you're three days late to the party, man. We sold out

01:17:02.500 everything in those three days. So here's what I'm going to say to you guys. If you want a shirt

01:17:06.720 or a hat or the battle planner, don't wait three days and then complain to me that are all sold

01:17:12.840 out. Get off the podcast and go right now. So you can get one specifically the battle planner. As of

01:17:19.180 right now, we, we like, we only have like 30 of those in stock and I just barely got a brand new

01:17:25.080 inventory, a brand brand new batch of those things. So we've had to order, uh, I think we

01:17:30.240 ordered close to a thousand more. So those will be coming, but if you want one now, like you better

01:17:36.740 do it today. Otherwise they'll be gone. Yeah. And this is really, as I'm assuming Ryan is a result of,

01:17:43.480 of guys signing up for battle ready. Yeah. Yep. Definitely battle ready. Um, which is a free

01:17:50.400 email course. You can check that out at order of man.com slash battle ready, man. You are getting

01:17:56.180 good at those transitions, those segues. I gotta say. All right, guys, we'll be back on Friday. I

01:18:02.740 got a good one. I'm going to talk. The title is brace for impact brace for impact. And let me just

01:18:09.720 give you a little teaser here. Things are about to go down and not in a good way. This could be in the

01:18:17.460 next six months. It could be in the next several years, but things are going to get worse

01:18:22.520 for society. So I'm going to share with you some strategies and some thoughts that I have around

01:18:29.000 what specifically is going to get worse and what specifically you as the patriarch, the father,

01:18:34.880 the husband, the leader of your community, the coach, the employer, whatever, what you need to do

01:18:41.680 to brace yourself and, uh, the people that you care about and have responsibility for. So make sure

01:18:47.040 you're subscribed. So you don't miss that one. Brace for impact on Friday. All right, guys. Uh, like

01:18:51.020 I said, we'll be back then until then go out there, take action and become the man. Thank you for

01:18:55.840 listening to the order of man podcast. You're ready to take charge of your life and be more of the man

01:19:00.960 you were meant to be. We invite you to join the order at order of man.com.

Order of Man - September 02, 2020

Set the Bar High, The Winner⧸Loser Spectrum, and Getting Your Wife on Board ｜ ASK ME ANYTHING

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