Order of Man - Setting Your Own Standards, Broadening Your Perspective, and the Benefits of Responsibility ｜ ASK ME ANYTHING

00:00:00.000 You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest. Embrace your fears and boldly chart your own path.

00:00:06.020 When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time. Every time.

00:00:10.480 You are not easily deterred or defeated. Rugged. Resilient. Strong.

00:00:15.500 This is your life. This is who you are. This is who you will become.

00:00:19.760 At the end of the day, and after all is said and done, you can call yourself a man.

00:00:25.120 What's going on, man? Thanks for joining me back for another edition of Ask Me Anything.

00:00:28.760 Hey, I'm excited to be here. I'm on an all-time order of man high.

00:00:33.340 I just got back from Phoenix, met up with a handful of guys from the Iron Council,

00:00:37.460 and it's just a testament of what we do, right, where you can go visit another city

00:00:42.860 and just hang out with like-minded guys and totally get along with them

00:00:45.960 because you know you're on the same path and that they're good guys.

00:00:48.760 Yeah. How many, were they all Iron Council guys?

00:00:52.440 They were all Iron Council guys. There was one guy there that just joined like last month,

00:00:56.320 so he hasn't been on a battle team yet. There's a couple guys from Epsilon,

00:01:00.620 and I don't remember what battle team Drew was on.

00:01:03.640 Anyhow, yeah, it was great.

00:01:05.560 Nice, man. Yeah, it's pretty cool. I love seeing these guys get together. I mean,

00:01:08.420 there's a lot to be said for having a band of brothers, even digitally, like the Iron Council,

00:01:12.780 but I think the real value is in the battle teams and then also being able to meet face-to-face.

00:01:17.060 So it's cool to see you guys doing that.

00:01:19.120 Yeah, that was good. Drew put it all together, so I can't take any credit for it. I just showed up.

00:01:23.540 So, hey, man, that's just as good. It's good. Yeah. Cool. Well, guys, what we're doing here

00:01:29.900 for our Ask Me Anything is we're fielding questions. I think the questions from today

00:01:33.720 come exclusively from our brotherhood, the Iron Council. Is that correct?

00:01:38.120 Yeah. Yeah. So we have three left from the Iron Council, and then we have some Facebook guys,

00:01:42.600 some stragglers.

00:01:43.540 Some stragglers here and there. Yeah. We'll try to get to all of them. We'll try to be a little bit

00:01:47.720 more on top of it than we have maybe in the past. I know we've got sidetracked and derailed

00:01:52.040 early on in most of our calls, but we're getting better. I think we're improving.

00:01:57.040 Yeah. We're just going to say, use the battle plan or follow the battle plan,

00:02:01.240 and we're just going to progress through these real quick.

00:02:03.300 That's the only answer I'm going to give today. So no need to stick around, I guess, right?

00:02:08.220 Yeah.

00:02:08.840 The answer is the battle plan.

00:02:10.300 But we'll read your name so you can listen anyway and just feel special.

00:02:13.040 There you go. There you go. Well, cool, guys. So, yeah, we're glad you're here. Also,

00:02:17.360 we've got obviously the interview show, which was released every Tuesday. So yesterday,

00:02:20.860 if you're listening to this, the day it's released, and then our Friday field notes.

00:02:24.020 And I've got a couple of good ones. I think the one that is coming up this Friday,

00:02:27.980 I've tried to get ahead because I'm pretty busy. This month is going to be an insane,

00:02:32.620 insane month. We've got two events. I've got two other traveling plans, and then we're moving.

00:02:37.520 It's going to be a crazy month, but I've tried to get ahead of the podcast. So I think this Friday

00:02:42.620 is all about the concept and idea of embracing change. And then next Friday is on initiating our boys,

00:02:50.240 which I just took my second son on the first phase of his initiation process over the weekend.

00:02:57.240 I saw that.

00:02:57.560 It was pretty cool. Yeah, it was a lot of fun.

00:02:59.060 How did it go?

00:02:59.920 It was good, man. It was a challenge. It was a struggle, which is obviously what it was supposed

00:03:03.520 to be. And he did well. He earned his first .22 rifle and learned a lot about what it means to be

00:03:10.320 a man. And it's actually interesting because over the past couple of days, he slipped with a few

00:03:14.360 things that I critiqued him on and gave him some feedback on. And it was nice because all I had to say is,

00:03:19.100 hey, remember the conversation we had on the mountain? And it was amazing at how quickly he

00:03:24.460 corrected his behavior. And these are little frame of references, little frame points where we can

00:03:30.540 draw back upon and correct behavior in our boys and daughters too, in order to get them on track

00:03:37.200 with regards to how they need to show up as they're transitioning into men and young women.

00:03:42.020 Yeah. And I have to say this. I mean, some guys may look at, um, you know, your weekend with your

00:03:50.680 son is like, you know, Ryan's, this is all kind of, obviously this is very much tied to you, Ryan,

00:03:57.140 in the, in the kind of man that you show up not only on the podcast, but, but in your personal life.

00:04:02.160 But guys, I mean, what we're doing on the podcast and being part of iron council bleeds into our other

00:04:07.080 lives is like for us, like even me, right? Like the conversations that I have with my boys

00:04:12.160 is very much tied to the conversations that we have on this podcast. It's very much tied to the

00:04:18.220 conversations that we have in the iron council. Um, and it's, and it shows up all like all over the

00:04:24.720 place, right? I was talking to, um, a friend that's a, uh, a pastor and he was saying that,

00:04:30.300 you know, he was using some quote unquote iron council material as part of a discussion point.

00:04:35.160 I've used it with, when I teach gospel doctrine, sometimes I had a conversation with my son in

00:04:40.340 Phoenix that's in college and I'm recommending books that guess what we've read in the iron

00:04:44.720 council, right? That I'm like, Hey son, you need to read this. This is a great book. And for all you

00:04:49.340 IC guys, you know, we all know that we're, we're starting a new quarter here on our battle plans.

00:04:54.320 And what did I do on Saturday with my 17 year old work on his battle plan, right? The, these things

00:05:01.020 show, it shows up in so many areas of our lives. Um, because we see the value in it, we apply it

00:05:06.580 and then we're like, Oh my gosh, like I can use this at work. I can use this with my sons. I can

00:05:10.940 use this in, in multiple facets and in different scenarios. And so I don't know the value add is

00:05:16.620 far beyond just, you know, it's good for me to become a better man. No, it's good for all of us

00:05:21.820 to be, to level up and become better. So, well, and it should be like that. There should be

00:05:25.880 congruency between the way that we show up at work and at home and coaching baseball teams and

00:05:31.580 civic duties and activities and spiritual obligations, responsibilities. It, there should

00:05:36.160 be congruency. If there's not congruency between the way you're showing up in different facets of

00:05:40.800 your life, it's a very inefficient way of going about doing it. And it's very disingenuous.

00:05:45.680 Yeah. I've come across almost fake or nothing. I mean, maybe, maybe the point that I'm making

00:05:52.040 is that it's just not a fulfilling, satisfying way to live. If you have to wear these quote unquote

00:05:56.880 hats, like I'm the boss at work and I'm this individual at home and I'm this individual over

00:06:01.980 here. I mean, how exhausting is that? There should be a level of congruency in the way that you show

00:06:08.060 up as a man in every facet of your life. And the more you can find and, and, and work towards that

00:06:14.320 congruency in your life, the much more satisfying life is. I mean, I've been there. I've been in

00:06:18.580 positions where I've been all over the place and I felt like I've had to show up and be different

00:06:23.700 people in different circumstances and it's exhausting. So this order of man journey over

00:06:30.060 the past four years, there's been a lot of benefits of course, but one of the biggest benefits that I

00:06:35.880 didn't fully anticipate happening was this level of congruency and a common theme or thread between

00:06:42.420 the way I show up in any area of life that I'm, that I'm showing up as. Yeah, that's awesome.

00:06:48.540 Well, cool. Let's, uh, let's get that too. Yeah. Well, thank you. Yeah. Let's, uh, I'm sure you,

00:06:52.180 I'm sure a lot of guys see that in their lives, you know, as you know, being able to just step up

00:06:56.360 more fully as, as a man and then whatever roles they have under the umbrella of I'm a man wherever

00:07:02.140 I am. Right. Yeah, totally. All right. Let's get into it. Questions. Iron council guys. First,

00:07:08.460 Dennis Morris, if you don't want to address this, I understand why, what are your thoughts on Dillashaw's

00:07:15.840 PED suspension thoughts on use of PDs as a whole? Is it using science to make athletes better or is

00:07:23.340 it cheating or are there two and not mutually exclusive? Well, this is, this is tough because

00:07:29.380 I had a conversation obviously with TJ Dillashaw, uh, what a month and a half or two months ago. And

00:07:34.860 it was, it was actually pretty interesting because he actually brought this up in the conversation.

00:07:39.400 He said, I, and I can't remember if it was part of what we had recorded or before we hit record,

00:07:44.600 he had said he has to be really careful of the supplements that he's taking, because if he

00:07:49.340 doesn't know exactly what's in those things, he could test hot for some of these, uh, PEDs and

00:07:53.880 ultimately be suspended or, um, have his title revoked, things like that. So, you know, I don't,

00:08:00.180 I don't know TJ. Um, I'm not going to suppose or, or make the assumption that either he did

00:08:05.440 knowingly or did not knowingly. I don't know the entire situation. It's very easy for us to say,

00:08:10.180 Oh yeah, you did it. Yep. Yep. That's just the way it is. Like he cheated. I don't know. I don't

00:08:14.540 know the entire situation, but what I, what I will say is if somebody takes these, these performance

00:08:20.600 enhancing drugs, then by its definition, yes, they are cheating because there's a, there's a,

00:08:25.500 there's a set of rules. And if you're going outside of the rules, whatever those rules are,

00:08:30.840 then you're, you're cheating. Competition is about cooperation. We've talked about this in the past.

00:08:36.520 And if you are outside of the bounds of what is accepted from the rules standpoint, then yes,

00:08:43.900 you are manipulating the whole idea of cooperation. It has to be a level playing field. So if you're

00:08:51.400 stepping out of that, you're taking away the level playing field. Now, is it scientific in the way to

00:08:56.260 improve performance? Absolutely. And I have no problem with that. I mean, we should always be

00:09:01.920 pushing the bounds of what is capable for humans, but if it's open and available to one individual,

00:09:07.100 it should be open and available to another individual. And that's what levels the playing

00:09:10.700 field and makes it a healthy, truthful cooperation in a competitive environment. So I think both exist.

00:09:17.320 I think it's cheating and I think it's a way to enhance human capabilities and performance.

00:09:24.700 Yeah. And, and guys need to be, I mean, and you've already alluded to it a little bit is

00:09:29.120 not all PE, PEDs are the same, right? Like I've known guys that are, that are virtually taking

00:09:35.820 pre-workouts, like a pre-workout, like that's run of the mill. Like so many guys take pre-workouts

00:09:41.300 all the time. And, and some of those, uh, you'll, you will test negative for PEDs. So

00:09:48.140 it's not, I don't know. You're saying positive, we'll test positive for it.

00:09:51.720 We'll test positive for it. Yeah, totally. So we, it's, you know, we got to be slow to judge,

00:09:56.480 right? Well, and ultimately, you know, if that's the case, I don't think that you should be able to

00:10:01.860 make the argument. It's not, it's not a credible or relevant argument to say, well, everybody does this.

00:10:06.240 Well, if everybody did that, then the rules ought to change. Yeah, exactly. And you know what the

00:10:11.200 rules are. And so, you know, deal with it. I had my son's, um, my oldest son's first baseball game

00:10:17.640 and it would be, it would be like saying, well, you know, I want four strikes because I feel like

00:10:23.900 I deserve it. Well, that's great, but that's actually not the rules. Like you get three strikes

00:10:28.540 like everybody else. And these are the parameters in which we operate. And if you fall out of those

00:10:32.580 parameters, then there's a consequence. You get out or there's a penalty or whatever else it may

00:10:38.100 be. So yeah, I think having rules is critical. It's critical for healthy cooperation and competition.

00:10:44.120 And we have to operate within those. If the rules are not correct, then the organization,

00:10:49.960 the governing body ought to be the one changing the rules to make it more appropriate.

00:10:54.980 Yeah. So I'm totally shocked, Ryan. So you're suggesting that,

00:10:57.960 that just because everyone else is doing it, doesn't make it okay.

00:11:01.700 Yeah. Yeah. Well, we talk about this a lot, the standards, right?

00:11:05.480 Yeah. Is, is, is, and this is like a dad thing. Like if, if little Billy jumped off the bridge,

00:11:12.380 would you jump off the bridge too? Right. But what we do as men, it's really interesting is we hold

00:11:17.400 ourselves to other people's standards. Yeah. And when we do, I think we typically holding

00:11:22.300 ourselves to an inferior standard. Well, like he does it, so it's okay. Or, you know, the,

00:11:26.860 it's not illegal. So I guess it's okay. It's like your standard for yourself should be the

00:11:32.580 highest possible standard there is. And yet many times as we, as men will compare ourselves to what

00:11:37.980 other people are doing or what is legal or what is acceptable or what is okay, or, you know,

00:11:42.540 we're just bending the rules a little bit. And what you're doing is you're actually lowering the

00:11:46.440 bar to make it okay to do something that maybe you ought to not do. And you know, you shouldn't be

00:11:51.940 doing so set the bar high, set your own standard and don't worry about what other people are doing.

00:11:58.300 There's a little bit of power of religion in there. I mean, that's, that's one of the reasons

00:12:02.140 why I think it's so impactful for people to bring, believe in a higher power sometimes because that

00:12:08.340 becomes the standard, you know? Well, I can, I mean, there's a lot of questions about where does

00:12:12.800 morality come from, right? And a lot of people would say, and I would say this, and I think you would

00:12:17.480 too, is that it comes from God, but a lot of people don't believe in God. So where does it

00:12:21.920 come from? I think each of us have to choose individually. I believe that my sense of morality

00:12:26.980 comes from a higher power. You might believe your sense of morality comes from somewhere else. And

00:12:31.560 this is why there will always be disagreements. This is why there will always be wars and contention

00:12:36.820 because this isn't a one answer thing and not everybody believes the same thing. And so what I

00:12:43.140 believe is moral and virtuous, you may believe is the complete opposite and vice versa. That's why

00:12:48.720 that's, that's why there's always going to be contention. And so when we have these men who talk

00:12:53.000 about this utopian society in which everybody gets along, it's delusional. I mean, we can work towards

00:12:58.500 that. I think we ought to, we ought to work towards a harmonious society, but at the end of the day,

00:13:02.420 we ought to make ourselves capable of defending ourselves and those we have an obligation and

00:13:06.220 responsibility for. Amen.

00:13:07.740 Man, planet ball. Is there a way to use the battle plan to have tactics for your tasks at work? It

00:13:13.980 seems like my battle plan has basically nothing to do with my nine to five. How do I change that?

00:13:19.940 That's the fourth quadrant, which is contribution. So contribution is becoming a man of value.

00:13:25.120 So I think what a lot of people do is they focus on what I can get, you know, how much money can I make

00:13:31.240 and what, what, what can I get out of this employment agreement? And, and it's all about get,

00:13:36.200 get, get, get, get, get. What I found in my life is that getting receiving is the natural

00:13:41.880 consequence of giving that the more you give and the more value you add in other people's lives,

00:13:46.760 that you will inevitably be served by that. It's just, it's an internal principle.

00:13:50.340 Zig Ziglar said, the more you help people get what they want, the more you'll get what you want,

00:13:54.040 because it's an exchange of value. That's all it is. So if you feel like you want to incorporate

00:13:59.300 some tactics to complete some objective objectives within your career or work, then build that into

00:14:06.520 the contribution component. And maybe you need to get a new degree. Maybe you need to get some new

00:14:11.420 credentials or some new licensing. Maybe you need to take on a new project at work. Maybe you need to

00:14:15.680 stay a little bit later, get there a little bit earlier. Maybe you need to assert yourself. Maybe

00:14:18.800 you need to manage a project or a team or a group of people. These are all ways that you can give

00:14:23.800 back. And in turn, you will be rewarded sometimes financially in the context of a career, for

00:14:28.700 example, and other times the sense of feeling like you did a good thing and you're uplifted because

00:14:34.200 of that. And both there's value in both of those things. Yeah. I've even had my connections quadrant

00:14:40.240 kind of bleed in some work inside of that connections quadrant as well. Yep. Connections or

00:14:46.320 relationships. And I think a lot of us think by default, it's the relationship with our spouse.

00:14:49.540 And certainly it should be that it should also be the relationship with your kids and the

00:14:52.960 relationships with friends and other family members. And in the context of what you're

00:14:56.840 talking about, coworkers and potentially even a boss. Now that's not to say, I will say one

00:15:03.040 other thing here at Kip. It's a lot of times because we focus on one objective in each of

00:15:07.140 the quadrants over a 90 day period. That's not to say that because you happen to be focusing

00:15:12.440 on your relationship with your employer that you should overlook or put the relationship with

00:15:18.320 your wife or kids or other people who are important on the back burner, because you're

00:15:21.620 focusing on this, this quarter. Yeah. You can focus very, very specifically on a relationship

00:15:28.300 that you want to improve and also maintain other relationships that you have. Like we

00:15:33.160 should be doing that. We don't have to forsake those other relationships because it's not

00:15:36.820 in our battle plan.

00:15:37.560 Copy. Jeremy Judd, what is your most enjoyed experience of being podcast partners or podcast

00:15:47.300 partners, right? I don't like running and running the AMA together.

00:15:52.560 The most enjoy. I actually like when we, I wouldn't say disagree. Cause I can't, I really can't think of

00:15:57.960 a time where we've like adamantly disagreed about something, but I do like, no, we disagree all the

00:16:02.960 time. Well, we're disagreeing now, I guess I do like when we see things differently and have a

00:16:09.520 different perspective that maybe I hadn't considered or you hadn't considered. Uh, it expands the way

00:16:14.500 that we view things. So I think that's enjoyable. I that's, that's the most enjoyable part to me is

00:16:20.100 that you bring a perspective that a lot of times I just don't consider myself. And that expands my

00:16:26.680 thinking and my ability to improve myself as not only a podcaster, but a man in general.

00:16:33.320 Same for me. I've mentioned this in the past. I, I feel like we're just having a phone call and

00:16:38.000 we're going over guys's questions and I, and, and I get to hear your opinion about it and sometimes

00:16:42.420 share mine. Like I, I just, I think just the conversation in general is just an enjoyable

00:16:46.800 conversation. So for sure. And, and a lot of it has to do with the fact of like, man, you know,

00:16:51.280 I wouldn't have seen it that way, you know? And, um, that one time I had to do the, had to, uh,

00:16:57.680 the time I did the MA solo, it also helped me appreciate like how quickly you have these responses

00:17:05.300 down. Like so many, you know, like the fact that you answer first is like so nice. It gives you a

00:17:13.200 little bit of a buffer. Totally. Cause I hear what you say and I'm like, Oh, you know, that's

00:17:17.100 interesting. And then I give some thought to it, but it, half these questions, if I had to answer

00:17:21.260 first, I'd be like, uh, I don't know. Next question. You know, I will say, I mean, it's

00:17:27.040 definitely a skillset. I think a lot of people look at it and think, Oh, you just talking to the

00:17:30.580 microphone. Oh, you just BS. It's like, I mean, yeah, maybe there's an element of that, but I've

00:17:35.500 been doing this for a little over four years now. And I was listening to my interview this morning.

00:17:41.020 In fact, with, with Elliot Hulse, it released yesterday. I listened to those because I'm critiquing

00:17:46.800 myself. Like, did I miss a question? Did I miss a follow-up? Where could I have

00:17:51.120 delve deeper? And I noticed a couple of points in that conversation that I would have done a little

00:17:55.060 differently, but that helps me improve, uh, next time. So anyways, I'm, I'm listening to this,

00:17:59.460 to this podcast. And I thought to myself, man, I actually did a pretty good job,

00:18:04.080 but it's not, it's not something that comes naturally. Some people say that, Oh, you're just

00:18:11.200 natural. No, it's not something that comes natural. It's not something that this is the first

00:18:16.300 time I've ever turned on a microphone and sat behind it. I mean, we're, gosh, we're over 400

00:18:21.900 shows into this now. And I feel like I'm finally getting my feet under me. Exactly. That's exactly

00:18:26.840 right. Yeah. So anyways, that's what I enjoy about it. All right. Facebook. We're jumping

00:18:31.980 to the Facebook guys. Oh, that was quick. We only had a few with iron council. Yeah. Just three guys.

00:18:35.840 All right. Just three. Well, it was three from last time, right? Roll over from last week.

00:18:40.900 Yeah. All right. Facebook, Kyle Shields. Is there a TV show or movie that you have found

00:18:46.200 particularly impactful trying to better understand media that drives people to do more? Thank you,

00:18:52.180 gentlemen. Um, to do more. I don't know. I mean, my favorite movie is Braveheart. I love that movie.

00:19:01.020 I think that that's like the epitome of masculinity right there. I mean, sacrifice commitment,

00:19:07.020 serving something higher than himself, building a band of brothers, becoming proficient in the

00:19:13.640 battle of protect or excuse me, the skill of protection and battle. I just love that movie.

00:19:18.620 I think that's so powerful. The other one that I really like is this is going to sound funny,

00:19:22.740 but the lion King, man, that is to me, that is such a cartoon. The kids. Yeah. The cartoon show. Yeah.

00:19:30.200 The cartoon movie. Yeah. I love that movie. I love that movie, man. Like it's just, it perfectly

00:19:35.820 illustrates the role of a father. I think it perfectly illustrates the journey of a young man

00:19:41.860 into masculinity and manliness. I just think that's a great movie. And there's so many underlying

00:19:47.980 messages that translate perfectly into how we are to act and behave as men. Yeah. That's weird. I know

00:19:54.900 it sounds weird, but I'm telling you, just, just next time you want, they're actually coming out with

00:19:58.860 a new lion King that I'm really excited about, but just watch that movie in the context of

00:20:04.120 what it means to be a man. And I think you'll look at it a lot differently than just a simple

00:20:08.740 cartoon. I'm envisioning a, uh, lion kid, lion King movie preview for order of man, just an entire

00:20:17.700 movie theater packed with dudes watching lion King together. I like it, man. And their boys get,

00:20:23.480 get our boys involved. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. As far as like doing more,

00:20:28.920 is there a movie out? I think people to do more. Yeah. I think ultimately you're better off reading

00:20:33.680 a book than you are watching a movie. I'll let you answer this Kip. And then in the meantime,

00:20:39.300 what I'm going to do is I'm going to pull up my, uh, Instagram account. Cause I just made a, uh,

00:20:43.600 Instagram post, I think it was yesterday. And I said 10 books that every guy should read on the

00:20:49.220 subject of masculinity. In fact, here, let me just read it for you real quick. Uh, and then you guys can

00:20:53.080 take notes. So, or go to my Instagram account at Ryan Mickler and pull it up there. Uh, number one is

00:20:57.760 manhood in the making by David Gilmore, man of steel and velvet by Aubrey Andalin. Uh, my book

00:21:03.980 sovereignty. Uh, the next one is the way of men by Jack Donovan, the way of the superior man by David

00:21:11.360 data, King warrior, magician lover by Robert Moore and Douglas Gillette Mansfield's book of manly men by,

00:21:18.080 uh, Steven Mansfield. No more, Mr. Nice guy by Robert Glover, iron John by Robert Bly. There's a lot

00:21:24.680 of Roberts in here, uh, fire in the belly by Sam Keene as a man thinketh by James Allen and wild

00:21:31.740 at heart by John Eldridge. I would also add one thing I didn't put in here is man's search for

00:21:36.480 meaning by Viktor Frankl. Another great one. So those are 12, I think I actually 13 books that

00:21:43.400 you can read that I think will give you a better context of what it means to be a man. And then

00:21:47.900 I think the, the way he phrased it was to do more in your life. Yeah. I'm trying to think of movies

00:21:54.020 that are specific to doing more and not just movies. I enjoy two movies that for whatever

00:22:00.620 reason, like kind of fire me up is limitless. Have you seen this movie? No. Is that, are they,

00:22:07.020 do they take a drug or something? And it like expands there. Yeah. I haven't seen it. Yeah. I know

00:22:11.440 what it is. I just haven't seen it. Whenever I watch limitless, man, I get all fired up. I'm like,

00:22:15.960 man, I need to take some drugs or I need to figure out how to like open up my mind. Right. Cause this

00:22:21.480 guy just crushes it. Yeah. Right. And I'm like, uh, and it just, I don't know, for whatever reason

00:22:25.500 gets me fired up. And there's a old movie, it's probably in the nineties called the game. And, uh,

00:22:34.480 and when I watched that, it's been years and years since I've watched it. But when I watched that movie,

00:22:38.660 I I'm fired up afterwards as well. What is it? The game? Wait, what'd you call it? Game. The game.

00:22:43.320 Okay. Yeah. And I can't tell you anything about it cause it messes up the whole, yeah. I don't

00:22:48.320 want to just, yeah. I don't want to spoil it. All right. There you go, guys. All right. Nick,

00:22:54.120 Nick Elroy, because perception and interpretation interpretation as kind of spelt weird. So I may

00:23:02.560 have copied it wrong are singular to an individual. What and how is the best approach to the broad stroke?

00:23:09.800 I, I'm so confused on this question. Read it, read it one more time and I'll see if I can

00:23:16.660 interpretation are singular to the individual. What and how is the best approach to the broad

00:23:25.520 stroke? Oh, that's more input. That's all it is. This is more input. I mean, if you're look,

00:23:30.600 we, we put ourselves in these boxes and we see life through our own lens. And if you can't expose

00:23:36.100 yourself to new stimulus, then you'll never gain a different or broadening perspective of life.

00:23:41.240 So I just gave you 13 books, for example, read those books. That's going to give you an entirely

00:23:46.160 new perspective or a broadened perspective of life itself. Listen to this podcast, listen to other

00:23:51.540 great podcasts, read a ton of books, um, communicate with people who are achieving what it is you want to

00:23:57.500 achieve. These are all ways that you broaden your perspective. Hmm. What does he mean by the broad

00:24:03.080 to the broad stroke? I think he's just saying the broad diversity of life, right? Again, again,

00:24:09.820 we, we paint ourselves into these corners, right? And, and I have, this is who I am. I identify as

00:24:15.060 this individual, uh, and, and we don't look outside of ourselves to give ourselves these new perspectives

00:24:21.660 and these new ways of looking at things. The only way to do that is to, is new information. And I would

00:24:28.020 even say information that challenges the way that you currently think you don't have to accept it as

00:24:32.560 gospel, but certainly consider it certainly expand your mind to the possibility that there is more

00:24:40.660 in a different way of looking at things. This is why I enjoyed my conversation with Elliot so much

00:24:44.700 from yesterday is because one of the things that he said is that, cause it got a little weird in

00:24:50.180 moments and he's like, man, look, nothing's off the table for me. He's I, he said, I want to explore

00:24:55.140 everything. And although I might not take it all, I'm exploring, I'm learning, I'm growing.

00:24:59.660 And that means I can't take off the table. Some of these things that other people might think are,

00:25:04.700 are fringe or weird or out there, but yeah, I mean, just expand your horizons and do something

00:25:10.680 that you normally wouldn't do. Give yourself a new perspective that you haven't considered before.

00:25:15.640 Yeah. I think at the root of that too, Ryan is, is listening to understand and not to confirm your

00:25:22.280 understanding of something. Like there is so much that, that we skirt over that we hear. And then we

00:25:29.220 plop it into our bucket of pre preconceived notions versus if we actually had communications

00:25:35.240 with individuals, read books, not to reinforce what we already believe, but just to truly understand

00:25:41.900 from someone else's perspective. That's super insightful. If we can do that.

00:25:47.400 I agree. And I think the best way to do that is to ask questions. Is this true? In what context

00:25:54.420 is this true? How does this broaden my perspective of being, will this serve me? Will it hinder me?

00:25:59.960 Ask yourself these questions when you come across new information, as opposed to, uh, what is it?

00:26:05.480 Confirmation bias, right? Where you're just reading and you're like, yep, see, I knew that. I knew that.

00:26:09.680 This just confirms what I knew. Yeah. Okay. Well, yes, some of that is, is okay, but expand yourself to

00:26:15.640 new. That's why I think one of the things that I need to really work on is I'm just looking at my

00:26:20.240 library here is 98% of the books. It may be even more are all, uh, nonfiction and more specifically

00:26:29.620 self-help. So I'm like, man, I really need to broaden my perspective and read some fictional work

00:26:34.880 and some, some things that I haven't, or normally wouldn't. So I give myself a new perspective.

00:26:40.460 Yeah. Um, an example of this, right, I think is, um, from a social condition, at least in, in,

00:26:47.200 it doesn't relate as much to books, but you know, the, the concept that we're all looking through

00:26:52.460 different lens lenses, right. Different shades of colored glasses. And you know, what, what I'm

00:27:00.880 seeing is drastically different than what you're seeing. And just being constantly aware of that,

00:27:05.420 that, that everything that you're assuming is truth is a perception and your interpretation and

00:27:12.660 the meaning that you're putting around the scenario. Like always, that's what we constantly always do.

00:27:17.260 And so I, I think just having that mind mindfulness that you're constantly doing that. And, and I,

00:27:24.400 I use this even when I, you know, when Asia and I, if we get in a fight or I have a disagreement with

00:27:29.600 someone else, I stop and go, Whoa, I'm making them wrong because I see it differently than them.

00:27:36.640 And it's not right. And it's not wrong. They just see it differently. Right. And I really,

00:27:41.380 and that puts me kind of in this state of like, I I'm listening to understand from their perspective

00:27:46.540 and it's not about making them right and me being wrong anymore. Now it's just about understanding

00:27:51.940 and understanding that based upon their upbringing, they see it differently than me.

00:27:55.820 I mean, I see what you're saying and I certainly agree to an extent, but at what point is it

00:28:00.120 legitimately wrong? Cause I think there's times where people are wrong. And I think there's times

00:28:06.660 where my perspective, although it might be different than somebody else is legitimately correct.

00:28:11.880 So how do you know when it's right and wrong for me? I, I still can identify and say, I,

00:28:18.400 this is wrong, but I, I hold onto the perspective of, I have identified this as wrong,

00:28:24.180 that it's not like some, you know what I mean? Some massive right and wrong that, that puts me in a

00:28:29.980 state of like, I've decided I've made this distinction that this is a wrong thing or this

00:28:33.880 is a right thing, you know? And, but I'm open to them disagreeing with me without me making them

00:28:39.300 wrong. Does that make sense? I mean, it does, but I still think there's times where people are wrong,

00:28:44.080 like, like objectively wrong. And I think that if we allow that to go because we think, well,

00:28:51.020 this person has their own perspective, then that's a detriment to society in a lot of ways,

00:28:56.080 because what if somebody is being completely immoral? You know, what, for example, what if

00:29:01.180 somebody is stepping out on their wife? I believe that's with all the fiber of my being that that is

00:29:07.400 wrong and it's a detriment to society. So for me to say, well, he just, you know,

00:29:12.180 he comes from a different perspective. Maybe I ought to consider it. I'm like,

00:29:15.200 no, no, no. Well, and that's not what, that's not what I'm suggesting. I'm not like,

00:29:19.120 let's use that as an example. In that example, my take on it would be, I under try to be understanding

00:29:25.780 the sense of, Hey, if I were raised the way he was raised, if I had the same relationship he had,

00:29:31.920 guess what? The probability of me making the same decision as that individual is really,

00:29:35.600 really high. So I use it to remove judgment. Now, how does that justification think it doesn't

00:29:42.080 justify anything for me? All, all that allows me to do is understand from their perspective

00:29:47.620 of how they may have gotten into that, into that space, but I don't use it to justify like it's

00:29:53.460 okay. But then, but then let's, let's dive deeper then. And cause this is, I think this is really

00:29:58.500 important. So let's, let's keep on the same context. Why, why is that understanding? How is that

00:30:05.520 helpful to you or that individual? Helps me understand how someone got to a point where

00:30:11.580 they would make those kinds of decisions. And then that gives me the knowledge and the understanding

00:30:17.080 to avoid that. And, and also, and also to be slow to judge. Like I can, I can 100% say, Hey,

00:30:27.200 you step on your wife, step out on your wife. That is 100% wrong. And you're an asshole for doing so.

00:30:32.060 However, it is very powerful for me to disagree with that and still go. I see the path in which 1.00

00:30:39.300 he put himself on that probably resulted to that. I like that. Unfortunate. It's horrible. And I

00:30:44.760 disagree and it shouldn't have happened, but guess what? I get it. Like not get it as in I accept it.

00:30:50.180 I get it. I understand to a degree. Yeah. Yeah. That's interesting. I hadn't considered that because

00:30:54.740 then that gives you some new stimulus or input for the way in which you live your life. Like,

00:31:00.840 Oh, well he put himself in this situation because he has a hot secretary and he stays late. And so

00:31:05.720 does she, and maybe I ought to avoid doing that in my own life. Yeah. Right. Right. Interesting.

00:31:14.360 Okay. Yeah. That makes sense. I'm just really, I'm really curious about that. Especially when people

00:31:18.540 talk about judgment, I'm always very careful about that because I, what I see a lot of people doing

00:31:23.720 because, because I'll make a post and guys will say, well, you're being very judgmental. I'm like,

00:31:28.020 well, you're judging me for being judgmental. So like, who's, who's in the wrong here?

00:31:31.840 This judgment argument is, is a strange one to me because you can't really call somebody out

00:31:39.260 for being judgmental without judging the fact that maybe they're wrong for being judgmental. It's,

00:31:43.680 it's very ironic and hypocritical to say the least. Yeah. And, and we all do it. We all judge and maybe 0.85

00:31:50.340 judgment isn't the right word. Maybe there's a different word discernment maybe,

00:31:54.460 but all of us are looking at other people and judging them based on the way they look,

00:32:00.880 based on the way they behave and interact with other individuals, based on their appearance and

00:32:05.240 their communication style. And we're making judgments. A lot of these judgments in my mind

00:32:10.200 are justified and warranted. You know, if I see a guy who's, who's beat up, he looks aggressive,

00:32:16.420 he looks angry, he's, he's moving around frantically and he's waving a gun in the air.

00:32:21.300 Well, my judgment is that this is an individual who's a threat and I need to act accordingly.

00:32:26.600 But if I say, well, I don't want to judge, I don't want to pass judgment. Then you put yourself

00:32:31.080 and other people in a dangerous scenario that could have been stopped. Had you been a little

00:32:36.420 bit more judgmental in that situation? So maybe judgment's not the right word.

00:32:40.440 Yeah, there is, there is a better word for it. And that we're going to, I'm going to remember it at

00:32:44.640 one point.

00:32:45.220 So, yeah. And well, you don't even have to worry about that. Cause I'm going to get two dozen emails

00:32:49.100 from people who say, well, it's, it's this word. And actually, and I, and I, that may sound like

00:32:53.900 I'm, I'm not encouraging that. I actually do encourage that. I like when I get messages from

00:32:58.120 you guys and you say, Hey, on this lap, you know what? I got a lot of messages from last week.

00:33:02.200 I think we were talking about Asperger's and autism. And I had a lot of messages from

00:33:07.460 men of the order who were messaging me and sharing resources and insights. So I actually

00:33:13.400 really do appreciate the follow-up because I want this to be something that is, it's a community,

00:33:19.360 right? It's a community of brothers working together to help each other out. So I don't

00:33:22.780 ever want it to come across as Kip, you and I just talking at the guys. I want it to be a

00:33:26.800 conversation. And so when you message Kip and myself about, Hey, here's a resource or here's a

00:33:31.140 thought, or here's the word you were looking for, then I, I'm very much appreciative of that stuff.

00:33:36.060 All right. Origins of the word judge. There you go. Judge discern. I don't know if there's some

00:33:42.660 other, some other words in there. All right. What do we got next? All right. Ben DiMaggio,

00:33:47.220 your thoughts on socialism. Way to go straight up broad there, Ben. Well, I think it's actually

00:33:55.340 the antithesis of manliness. I honestly believe that I believe that if you are a socialist in the

00:34:01.020 term that I think he's referring to and what we think of, then that is not a manly thought.

00:34:06.060 It's not, it's not manly to take the possessions or work or result of somebody's work from another

00:34:14.160 individual and give it to somebody else who has, who has not earned it. It is not manly to encourage

00:34:20.540 mediocrity and complacency. It is not manly to assume that somebody else owes another individual

00:34:29.200 something. It is not manly to be dependent on somebody or some other organization

00:34:35.400 to provide what you need to, to provide for your way of life and the people you have an obligation

00:34:41.200 for. It is probably the most unmanly way of approaching life and politics. And I'm going to

00:34:49.640 stick by that. It's, it's just, it's a horrible, horrible way to operate. And it's the antithesis of

00:34:56.360 everything that we teach here at order of man. Mike drop. Yeah. I mean, what would you,

00:35:00.840 would you say something different to that? I think socialism is that utopia that we're kind

00:35:07.020 of talking about earlier, like where people think like you get a, what's it just see it on a,

00:35:12.980 at a small scale, right? You have a team of 10 guys and you make this agreement, um, to say, Hey,

00:35:20.840 we're all going to get paid equal. We're going to come together. We're going to have this kind of,

00:35:27.360 the social condition, the socialism condition in regards to how we work now in theory. Is it,

00:35:34.280 do I see, can, can I see the value or of what probably people are thinking when they think of

00:35:41.460 socialism? I do actually, I, I, I, I do see it. I'm like, yeah, but it's not reality. I don't think

00:35:48.660 it's, I don't even see it in theory. It's like you and I Kip are so different. If we were the exact

00:35:54.880 same, okay, let's, let's evaluate this, but we're not, we're not, we're so different. And quite

00:36:01.880 frankly, there's some things that I do in my life that are more valuable than what you do.

00:36:06.260 And conversely, there are some things that you do in life that are more valuable than what I do.

00:36:11.740 And to say that we should be compensated or awarded the same based on different actions and

00:36:18.120 different ways of going about doing it and different value that we add. That's ridiculous. 0.95

00:36:23.060 It's not even let to your point, it's, it's, it's not real, realistic, and it's not operating in 0.97

00:36:28.600 reality. It's, it's, it's delusional. It's asinine. Yeah. Yeah. I think, I mean, not to get into

00:36:35.340 politics here, but I think there's so many items on the quote unquote left that is based upon, is not

00:36:43.580 based on reality and based upon human condition. And humans on a regular basis have proven not to benefit

00:36:52.660 from a handout. We do not benefit from handouts at all. If anything, it's a complete opposite.

00:36:59.360 And we can look at many, many examples of this, of how it has not worked. I don't know.

00:37:05.740 I would like to make one distinction here though, because I know what a lot of people will say is

00:37:10.000 what about those who were downtrodden and, and oppressed or less, less fortunate, um, or,

00:37:18.080 you know, in a horrible situation, maybe it's mental or physical disability or, or illness

00:37:22.720 to that. I say it is our responsibility as individuals, sovereign men to take care of our

00:37:29.980 people. So if I have a child who has, just like you do, Kip, a child who has some medical conditions,

00:37:36.340 it's not my responsibility to take care of your child. No, that's your responsibility.

00:37:41.420 If I have a member of my community who needs to be helped and uplifted and edified, that's my

00:37:49.140 responsibility as a leader within my community. That's not your responsibility. It's not your

00:37:54.720 community. So I believe that we as men have an obligation to protect, provide, and preside for

00:38:03.380 and over those we have an obligation for. So I'm not saying that we shouldn't help those who need to be

00:38:09.860 helped and need to be lifted up and needed some assistance. That is our job to serve, but I'm not

00:38:16.680 saying that it's right for me to mandate that another individual help you Kip with your obligations

00:38:24.560 and responsibilities that you have in your life. Well, and if we look at this from our personal

00:38:29.740 perspective, we're robbing ourselves of the benefit of helping others. Like you look at your,

00:38:35.640 the example that you just gave, it is so drastically different than if you paid a lot more in taxes

00:38:43.740 and it was helping the needy. So that's scenario number one versus scenario number two, you saving

00:38:50.100 up money, you organizing your community to come together and help those in need. Those two scenarios

00:38:56.560 are so drastically different. One you benefit from and the other one you do not.

00:39:02.160 Right. Right. Like you don't grow from that first scenario at all.

00:39:06.260 It's the benefit of responsibility. Totally. I'll give you an example in a small context. We have a

00:39:12.280 young man here in the community and he's a friend of my son, my oldest son, and he can't play baseball.

00:39:19.460 He's got some medical issues and he just can't play baseball and he wants to be part of the team

00:39:26.260 so bad. And I'm not going to give the kid a handout because that doesn't serve him,

00:39:30.280 but I want him to be involved to some capacity. So he's going to be, he's our manager this year.

00:39:35.680 And so we were at the game last night and he's such a good kid. I wish he could play. He's such

00:39:39.480 a good kid, but he can't, he's got those limitations. And, and so I said, you come be our

00:39:43.740 manager, you come to practices, you come to games. And so last night he was sitting there and he was

00:39:47.560 kind of like, I don't know what to do. Like he felt good that he was there, but he wasn't really

00:39:50.740 doing anything. And I gave him responsibilities. I said, your responsibility when we get to the game

00:39:55.760 is to take the balls, put them out is to empty out the bag, line up the helmets. They, the way

00:40:01.660 they need to go to put the bats where they need to put the, to put the catcher's gear where it needs

00:40:05.700 to be. And then after every inning, your job is to go then and clean and straighten everything up.

00:40:09.720 So we're ready for the next inning. So in a way I'm assisting in a way that helps this young man

00:40:16.960 be part of the team and be included, but it's not a handout. Make no mistake. I'm not handing

00:40:22.640 anything out. He's earning that. And there's obligations and responsibilities that he has

00:40:26.680 on the team. If he wants to be part of the team. I love it. All right. Sean Lloyd ideas on

00:40:32.940 investments with under a 50 K a year salary for those guys looking for a side hustle that barely

00:40:38.560 make more than what they, they can to pay the bills. Look, there's so many variables right here.

00:40:45.180 I mean, you're talking about investments and then a side hustle and starting a business. I don't know.

00:40:50.740 I don't know. I don't know what your situation is. If you want to make more money, I would probably

00:40:55.200 encourage you to sell some things around the house first and get that taken care of. I'd encourage

00:40:59.820 you to get out from any debt that you might have, because that's an increase in net, uh, household

00:41:04.600 income. Those are things that you can do. Uh, then from there, I would look to setting money aside

00:41:11.000 and having it in a savings account, just there as a, as a foundation for your financial planning.

00:41:16.180 Uh, from there, you can start getting into some, some, uh, potentially, you know, conservative

00:41:21.560 mutual funds, um, and, and grow that way because the risk is less than maybe some of these other

00:41:27.280 exotic or exciting, um, type investments we hear about, uh, from a business standpoint,

00:41:33.600 I would just take what, you know, just take what, you know, all right. Whether it's photography

00:41:38.180 or building a website, or maybe you, you know, some plumbing around the house, maybe you're,

00:41:44.700 maybe you're a handyman, you know, maybe, maybe you're a guy who knows how to tinker and fix things.

00:41:48.720 And you've got a neighbor who needs you to fix the toilet. And then another neighbor who needs you to

00:41:52.560 fix the, the, the, the electrical. And so you realize, man, I could really do some things.

00:41:57.760 And another neighbor calls you up and says, Hey, will you help me build a shed? That might be a pretty

00:42:01.660 good indicator that this is something that you could potentially move into. So some of the

00:42:06.200 questions I would ask myself is if I was in this situation, what am I doing when time goes the

00:42:12.480 fastest? What am I doing when time goes the fastest? What are other people asking me for advice

00:42:18.960 about if money was not a concern of mine, what would I be doing in, in, with my time? Those are

00:42:27.200 three very simple questions that might lead you to something that you could potentially do. And what

00:42:32.760 you want to do here is you want to look for underlying threads or common themes between

00:42:37.300 the answers of those types of questions. If you keep seeing a reoccurring trend, there's probably

00:42:42.120 something you ought to move into and at least take the first step, which is to sell something to

00:42:48.440 somebody. That's, that's what it is. That's always the first step. If your neighbor says, Hey, I want

00:42:54.320 to, I want to build this workbench for, for my garage. I know you're handy. Can you help me with it?

00:42:59.720 Hey, you know what? Yeah, I will help you. It's going to cost a little bit in supplies. Here's my

00:43:03.600 time. It's going to be a couple hundred bucks. That's really, really scary if you've never done

00:43:08.380 that before. But the first step is always to sell something. And then, you know, okay, this is at

00:43:13.400 least a potentially viable business strategy, but most people never make that leap. They're too afraid

00:43:19.240 to ask for money. If you looked at money and I think I just did a podcast on this, but if you

00:43:23.900 looked at money as a medium of exchange of value, you'd have an easier time with asking people for

00:43:30.360 it, right? Because it's like, you want me to add value to your life? Okay. You add value to my life

00:43:35.000 in the, in the form of dollar bills and I'll do what you want me to do. It's just an exchange of

00:43:39.160 value. That's all it is. Totally. And then half of you guys would stop demonizing everybody that's

00:43:43.560 rich, right? While you're at it. That's exactly right. And what you do, interestingly enough,

00:43:48.300 when you demonize other people who are wealthy, you subconsciously tell yourself that you don't want to be 1.00

00:43:52.840 wealthy because you don't want to be the a-hole or the jerk or the crook who is wealthy. So you'll 1.00

00:43:59.260 sabotage yourself when it comes to building wealth. Like you won't ask for money or you won't ask for

00:44:03.420 enough or you won't work as hard as you possibly could. It's crazy. I have to say it, man,

00:44:09.620 Mitt Romney. He was awesome. What, what about him? I don't like Mitt Romney.

00:44:13.560 You don't like Mitt? No, I don't. Yeah. I think he's a weenie.

00:44:16.520 I, when he, I hated the fact that he got completely demonized for, for being highly

00:44:23.360 successful. Oh, for sure. It pissed me off. I agree. Yeah. I agree with that. That's not why

00:44:28.200 I dislike him. It has nothing to do with his wealth. In fact, I commend the man for building

00:44:33.160 wealth and building businesses and employing people and building a tax base. Like I commend

00:44:37.020 him for doing those things. That's not why I dislike Mitt. Yeah. You're more of on the policy side.

00:44:41.620 Yeah, I am. What you, you had a problem with a politician based upon their policy. I thought

00:44:46.680 we're supposed to focus on their character and something. Well, I was being judgmental. So yeah.

00:44:52.120 All right. Derek Myers, Ryan and Kip, what have you, uh, what have been some of the best tips

00:44:57.820 you have been given or could give about dealing with anxiety and negative thoughts? Uh, very simple.

00:45:04.060 Go to work. Yeah. Get busy. Well, man, look when you're, when, and let's say this disclaimer.

00:45:09.380 All right. If you're dealing with a medical condition, then you probably ought to seek the

00:45:13.780 help of a medical professional, not a podcaster, right? But if you're a little bit anxious or

00:45:20.920 you're feeling down today, okay, that's different. That's not a medical condition. And what I found

00:45:25.580 in my life is that it's very hard for me to be in my head when my hands and my feet and my

00:45:31.780 back are engaged. So find something that brings you significance and meaning and purpose and do

00:45:39.320 it. And as you're doing it, you won't feel bad. You can't feel bad. Even going to the gym,

00:45:46.100 I find value and meaning and going to the gym. So if I'm feeling bad, I go to the gym.

00:45:50.200 I can't feel bad for myself when I'm trying to, uh, you know, deadlift 400 pounds because I'm

00:45:55.980 too engaged doing that to feel bad and worry about anything else. And then I put the idea together

00:45:59.900 that I'm improving myself and it's hard to feel bad when you're actively moving towards

00:46:03.780 something that's going to improve your life. So I find, I have found that the guys who are again,

00:46:11.560 barring medical conditions, the guys who are just within the normal parameters of being down

00:46:16.480 occasionally or, or feeling anxious or stressed out about something, go work, go be productive.

00:46:21.800 That's your job as a man is to go do, stop sitting around and thinking, stop sitting around and

00:46:27.300 feeling bad for yourself. Stop dinking around on Facebook or Instagram, stop even listening to this

00:46:32.240 podcast and go put your hands in your back to work and you will feel better.

00:46:36.740 Love it. The only other things I'd add is service, provide value. You already alluded to it.

00:46:43.160 That's work, right? Service, work, you're serving, meaning.

00:46:46.660 Yeah. Serve someone else. Um, and then the other thought is that crossed my mind is, um,

00:46:54.200 and I don't even know how to explain this very well. Sometimes we have a tendency to,

00:46:59.320 to beat ourselves up. Like for instance, Derek might be bidding himself up, right?

00:47:04.000 Oh, why do I have all these negative thoughts and exact stop making yourself wrong? Like realize that

00:47:09.380 you're doing it, pivot and adjust. That's it. Like don't add even more meaning to the fact that

00:47:15.360 you're, that you have anxiety and thought, cause then you're just perpetuating it and making it

00:47:18.860 worse. Just realize that, okay, this is what is. So this is what I'm doing. It's not effective.

00:47:23.980 So I'm going to pivot and do something different. I'm going to go work out or whatever. Right. But

00:47:28.580 if you go beating yourself up and think something quote unquote is wrong, then you're perpetuating

00:47:34.220 the negative thought. You're perpetuating the anxiety that you're feeling as well.

00:47:37.520 Well, and I just realized it's not effective for you. Change it, pivot.

00:47:40.760 And that's the point. Cause you, if you think something's wrong, there's, there's validity to

00:47:45.020 that. And, and so I think it's okay to make yourself wrong. I do. I think it's okay to say

00:47:50.720 the behavior I'm engaging in or the thing that I did or the way that I conducted myself was wrong.

00:47:57.840 But if, if you stop there, it's a, it's a partial thought. It's an incomplete thought process.

00:48:05.040 The next thought is how can I be right? This was, I've done that, man. I've had time. In fact,

00:48:12.620 I had it in iron council a couple of weeks ago where I, I handled something incorrectly.

00:48:16.820 I recognized that it was wrong and there's nothing bad about saying that you were wrong,

00:48:22.860 but if you stop there, that's, that's, that's not good. So I corrected the behavior. I, I apologized.

00:48:29.960 I said, here's why behaved or, or, or reacted that way. And here's how I'm going to react moving

00:48:36.120 forward. And I've corrected the behavior and all as well. Yeah. I think what's critical Ryan is that

00:48:43.580 when, so if we use your example in the iron council that you, you labeled your action is wrong and not

00:48:52.240 you is wrong. Good point. Good distinction. And I, so I think it's really important that we don't

00:48:56.700 put that label on who we are, that, that we are the creators of who we are. We choose ultimately who

00:49:04.520 we are and that you're not, maybe the action was wrong or you shouldn't be. Those thoughts are wrong,

00:49:09.000 but it's not you either. Do you get to the action and not your identity? Well, I'll give you an

00:49:14.460 example of this. So, um, Sal over at mind pump media, those guys are all good friends. I think

00:49:19.060 they just celebrated their 1000th episode actually. Anyways, um, we've had some great conversations and

00:49:24.400 Sal and I were talking about it and he said one that really makes sense in this context. He said,

00:49:28.780 a lot of people will say, I am fat, I'm fat. And he said, that's, that's the wrong way to look at

00:49:33.280 it. The way that you should be looking at it is not that you are fat, but that you have fat. 0.85

00:49:38.860 Right. I am not fat. I have fat because one is something you can do about it. Okay. I can

00:49:45.280 eliminate this fat. The other one is to your point, you're wrapping your identity up and being fat. 0.60

00:49:51.540 And that will, that will be discouraging to you. It'll keep you more fat. Exactly. So,

00:49:58.120 so rather than saying I am this, I have this, that's an objective look at it. I, I have fat

00:50:05.160 and I need to eliminate it or I am fat. And that's a destructive thought. Yeah. That's good

00:50:12.340 distinction. Sam Johnson. Have you considered expanding the order of man library to include

00:50:18.120 more recommendations for books to read, perhaps keeping an extensive record of all authors you've

00:50:23.500 interviewed over the years? No. Well, I've thought about that and occasionally I make posts and do

00:50:30.500 blog posts and things like that. I haven't considered documenting all the authors that

00:50:35.800 I've interviewed, um, purely from the standpoint of effectiveness and the way I allocate my resources.

00:50:42.120 It doesn't seem like an effective use of resources. I feel like I can use the time and attention

00:50:46.060 of those individuals that I would have do that to do something else that maybe would move the needle

00:50:50.560 a little further. Yeah, I do. Well, we just gave you 13 books to read. Um, every once in a while,

00:50:56.960 I come up with a new post on, on books on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook, wherever,

00:51:00.580 and also do blog posts with that stuff as well. Yeah. This, this has come up multiple times in the IC

00:51:06.960 where, you know, we have these monthly topics that we discuss and, and whenever we get on a topic that,

00:51:13.000 that we've covered in years past, I immediately go, you know, and this is just my, my work.

00:51:21.000 Coming through right. And showing itself in the IC where I'm like, Oh,

00:51:24.880 you should have a taxonomy. We need to be tagging. So then that way, when we have a month on wealth,

00:51:30.960 it's like, all right, everybody that's episodes, you know, 10, 20, 200, 305. Here's the list of 10

00:51:39.100 books on the subject. Here's Friday field notes related to that same exact subject go. Right. But in the

00:51:46.060 same token, it's like, okay, well, who, who's going to listen to all 200 episodes? Right.

00:51:51.640 You know what I mean? Who's going to read 20 books? Like we're getting to it, like in an economy of

00:51:57.740 scale here, right? That is, it is starting to be, um, overwhelming, pretty overwhelming. Yeah.

00:52:03.140 Well, and my greatest fear too, in this context is, do guys really need to read another book?

00:52:11.340 Yeah. Like, do you need to read 20 financial books? Right. And, and so it's actually a little

00:52:16.900 discouraging when I make a post about books and I do it because I enjoy reading. I know guys enjoy

00:52:21.720 reading, but some of those posts are my most popular posts. And the reason that it's a little

00:52:27.660 concerning to me is because I feel like what my friend Andy Frisilla says is we've become these

00:52:33.940 information zombies where we just consume, consume, consume, consume, consume. It's like,

00:52:38.980 when are you ever going to go produce with as much as you're consuming? When are you ever going to go

00:52:43.660 produce with that time? So you don't have to read every book that was ever written. You just have to

00:52:51.660 read a handful that pertain to something you want to learn and then go produce, stop being a consumer

00:52:59.140 and be a producer. And then that's my fear. When we put out these big, long lists of books,

00:53:05.020 it's like, do you guys like those 13? I'm like, do you guys really need to read all 13 of those?

00:53:10.180 No, they need to read one sovereignty. And then the rest, the rest, they can maybe read later or

00:53:17.560 sporadically between action. Yeah. Well, and that's why I like your interview

00:53:23.420 Epps on Tuesdays because I kind of use that to filter out whether I want to read those books or

00:53:29.640 not too. Sure. Yeah, of course. When you interview someone, I'm like, I really like that guy. I'm

00:53:34.240 like, ah, that guy's not resonating with me. Yeah. I think a lot of people, and I used to think this

00:53:39.640 too, because I've got a whole library right here. In fact, in our move, I'm getting rid of probably 90%

00:53:44.280 of these books because they don't, I'm not going to read them again. They're just sitting there.

00:53:49.420 It's, it's just interesting how, how much we read. And then we think that because we pick up this book

00:53:55.560 that we need to read the whole thing. And I've gone through a chapter or two of a book and I'm

00:53:59.520 like, this is a stupid book. I don't like this. And I feel obligated to read the entire thing. 1.00

00:54:04.220 It's like, stop reading dumb books. Stop reading books that don't resonate with you. If it doesn't 0.98

00:54:08.340 resonate with you, just put it up, put it away, give it to somebody who might, it might resonate with a

00:54:12.360 little bit more and pick up a different book that is going to be more engaging or help you move the

00:54:17.700 needle a little bit more than this book that doesn't do it for you. You know, you're talking

00:54:21.900 about fiction, fictional books earlier. I'm wondering if, would, are you interested in having

00:54:27.960 people share what fictional books they would recommend? I'm curious. Oh yeah. I think that's

00:54:32.400 great. That's, that's why we, that's why we do this, right? Whether it's in the iron council or the

00:54:36.600 Facebook group share. I mean, the one thing I'm seeing in, in, uh, in the Facebook group is a

00:54:42.140 bunch of guys and you always know, cause they're like, I need your help. Here's what I need from

00:54:45.800 you. No, dude, that's not how you start a sentence. It's not how you start a thought. Here's what I

00:54:51.520 need. Give me, give me, give me. That's how children start thoughts. The way men start thoughts is,

00:54:56.620 Hey, here's what I'm doing and here's what's working. And I hope this helps you. Hey, one little

00:55:00.720 point of clarification that I might need is what have you done in this situation? I did it and it

00:55:04.200 didn't work. And I'm wondering if you would recommend anything different. That's how men 1.00

00:55:08.360 start thoughts. And I see this in the Facebook group all the time. This guy's like, Oh, I'm

00:55:13.820 struggling with my wife. I don't know what to do. Well, figure it out, man. Figure it out.

00:55:18.740 Come, come to the table with an, with a proposed solution and then we'll help you from there.

00:55:25.120 But yeah. So to your point about should people share? Yes. Cause that's called producing the giving

00:55:31.540 value. And you should be trying to do that in every interaction you have. So if there's a

00:55:35.780 fictional work, yes. If there's a fictional work that you like, contribute to the group

00:55:39.600 and share what, you know, share your resource. The other guys can benefit from it. Yeah.

00:55:45.960 Zane road. Can you guys give a few advice, a few advices? That's funny. Can you guys give some

00:55:52.920 advice for a starting white belt? I'm currently three months in and I'm loving it. Yeah. Go ahead.

00:55:57.540 White belt. Just listen to your instructor and do what he says and do it a lot. Yeah. I mean,

00:56:05.880 there's no like what other advice, like it's going to suck. It's going to be hard. You're

00:56:10.240 going to feel discouraged at times. You're going to be sore. You're going to get beat up. You know

00:56:16.400 all that already. Cause you're already going. So just do what your instructor tells you to do.

00:56:21.300 Be consistent and enjoy the, enjoy the process. Yeah. There's so many life lessons,

00:56:27.380 right? Like we, you know, I don't know. There's so many life lessons and, and one that you, you,

00:56:32.500 by the way, all these things you will learn by just going to jujitsu and continue training.

00:56:37.720 It's just, that's what it is. You'll figure it out on your own over time, whether we give you the

00:56:42.620 advice or not. So, but regardless, one that I love, uh, that was opened up for me and it didn't

00:56:49.380 open up for me as a white belt opened up for me as like a blue belt. And it sounds super simplistic.

00:56:54.100 So everyone's kind of, you guys might roll your eyes going, uh, yeah, in jujitsu, it's like life.

00:57:01.220 And, and we talk about the tugboat mentality. Jujitsu is no different. You don't, you, you don't move

00:57:08.540 your opponent, right? Most of the time when you're in a negative position, we have a tendency,

00:57:13.600 our natural reaction is to push them, right? Move that person. I get him off me, right? That's a

00:57:19.940 natural reaction. Um, but like life, you can't control people, but you can't control yourself.

00:57:27.880 And so if you guys think of a basic, a move in jujitsu that we call a shrimp, a shrimp is you

00:57:35.020 moving yourself. You're creating a frame, a boundary against an opponent, and you're removing

00:57:42.160 yourself from the bad position. And so much in jujitsu, we have a tendency to move our opponent,

00:57:48.320 focus on moving yourself. Don't move them. And that's always going to work anyway. You're

00:57:53.360 going to end up with some big guy. It is unmovable. And the only person you're going to be able to move

00:57:57.980 is yourself. So focus on moving yourself, not your opponent. And the only other thing I could think

00:58:02.600 that kind of comes to mind is if you're using a lot of strength, like you're gritting your teeth

00:58:07.560 and gritting your face, you're doing it wrong. So I've actually really worked at work on that lately

00:58:12.880 is I noticed that I was trying to muscle people as opposed to just, Hey, enjoy it. All right. Yeah.

00:58:20.480 Let's, let's flow. Let's roll. Let's move. Like I don't have to manipulate you that way. And then

00:58:24.700 when you make a little mistake, then I can capitalize on that little mistake. Exactly. Or use their

00:58:29.680 movement to your advantage. Right. Yeah. It's very exhausting when you just try to stop someone

00:58:34.200 doing everything they want to do. Brutal. Yeah. You think, you know, you, you hear two minutes or

00:58:39.940 three minutes. You're like, Oh, that's not a long time. Okay, sure. Sure. Go give it a try.

00:58:45.440 Roll around with somebody who wants to hurt you for two minutes straight and see how tired you are.

00:58:49.620 Yeah. It's exhausting. It's exhausting, man. And that's what every, and by the way,

00:58:53.900 everyone that starts jujitsu, that's what they do, right? Like you, you get in a position where you

00:58:58.480 can hold your opponent and it's funny. You see it so much more as you train longer and longer,

00:59:03.280 but you train with someone that's brand new and he's holding your hand and you move your hand to the

00:59:08.020 right. And he tries to stop it from moving to the right. Right. And you can pause and go,

00:59:11.680 why are you trying to stop me from moving my hand that way? I have no idea. Like all they're trying

00:59:17.540 to do is stop you from doing whatever you want to do. Right. Right. But it's just part of the benefit,

00:59:22.900 right? It might benefit them for you to move that way, but they're just like, I'm not going to let you,

00:59:26.920 you know, it's just part of the, that's, that's an arrogance and maybe an ego. And it's all just part

00:59:33.080 of the journey. It's just part of the deal. But the good thing is, Zane, like, don't,

00:59:38.020 don't put too much weight on quote unquote, like what's the advice I need? Cause guess what?

00:59:42.600 It's like life. You'll learn. Life will teach you. The only advice. Yeah. The only advice you need is

00:59:49.580 just keep going. Yeah. Yeah. And everything you'll learn at all. That's right. It's quite ironic.

00:59:56.400 All right. What else? All right. Kyle, Bruce, what tips and suggestions slash advice do you have for

01:00:02.400 handling or adjusting to a new position or career where you have to heavily rely on coworkers for

01:00:07.960 training on processes? What if I, uh, what if I sense that my questions are annoying to the trainer

01:00:15.360 or that my trainer feels I'm inadequate for the position during the learning transition?

01:00:20.740 I think you're too much in your head, man. Totally. Like stop that. Stop getting in your head.

01:00:26.460 Like your trainer's not thinking that. All right. If he's, if he's worth his weight or even just a

01:00:31.080 mediocre or she is a mediocre trainer, they're not thinking that. The only thing I would say is that

01:00:37.140 you might become an annoyance if you don't implement what's being taught. Like if the trainer has to

01:00:41.460 tell you to do the same damn thing over and over and over again, and you're not getting it, then yes, 0.98

01:00:44.900 you're being annoying. So drop the arrogance, drop the ego, do it the way they say, learn, implement it, 0.99

01:00:51.000 practice it and show that you're improving. If you're improving, a trainer's not going to beat

01:00:56.340 you up over that. And you're just inside of your head thinking, well, what if they think I'm stupid? 1.00

01:01:00.600 And what, that's your ego, man. Cause you don't want to be inadequate. And I understand that. And 1.00

01:01:05.740 I think it's actually good in a lot of ways. You, you should have some of those thoughts because

01:01:09.980 that's, what's going to drive you to progress and get better and improve. And if you're not improving,

01:01:15.320 that's one thing. But if you're moving the needle through applying, what's being taught

01:01:20.020 repetition, practicing it, improving, showing a trainer that you're doing the work that they have

01:01:25.920 suggested, the trainer's not going to be upset about that or make you feel stupid or anything 0.95

01:01:31.480 like that. And if they are, you know, some, some trainers are, I mean, some of them are. And if they

01:01:36.880 are okay, well get your, you're get your training done as quick as possible. So you can get yourself

01:01:41.320 out of that environment. Yeah. And you're not helping yourself, right? As you're, as you're getting

01:01:45.880 the sense of the, are they annoyed and am I inadequate, blah, blah, blah, blah. Well, guess

01:01:50.460 what you're not doing? You're not present to the training, right? You're worried about something

01:01:54.860 entirely different. So guess what? You're perpetuating this and actually quote unquote

01:01:58.580 increasing the probability of you being annoying and not being adequate. You're increasing the

01:02:04.920 probability of that by being worried about it. Like just buckle down, focus, just do it. Don't worry

01:02:09.740 about it. Um, I've had bad trainers specifically in the financial planning world, and I've recognized

01:02:14.260 that they're bad trainers. Now I don't just credit or disqualify their advice. Cause I don't

01:02:19.360 know any better to do that, but their style is what I'm, uh, uh, critical of. And I just

01:02:26.200 go through the training, get it done as quick as possible. And then remember what that trainer

01:02:30.940 was like and not be that guy when I'm in their situation. It's just learn using as an example

01:02:37.820 like, Oh, I don't want to be like that. That doesn't work, but I'll, I'll bear down. I'll

01:02:41.500 handle it for now. I'll get through it. And then when I'm in that position, I'll do it

01:02:45.340 differently. Yeah. I love that. Let's take a couple more. All right. You and Ryan, you

01:02:51.860 might, uh, you might got, you might got, what are some of the most important mistakes you've

01:02:56.560 made personally and in general? And what lessons did you learn from them?

01:03:00.600 Hmm. Ooh, man. How much, how much time do we have?

01:03:03.360 Yeah. We did not have a whole time. We were like, we need like a, our own episode just

01:03:07.500 for Ryan. All his mistakes. Yeah. That'd be a good podcast. It's just like mistakes.

01:03:13.300 And you just go through every mistake you've ever made in life. Um, what are the biggest

01:03:19.560 mistakes? Uh, most important or most important mistakes. Yeah. Some of them are my most important,

01:03:24.960 although I can't maybe give you a specific right now. Cause I can't really think of one

01:03:27.760 right on the fly is when I rush to a decision. I've noticed I have a tendency of doing that,

01:03:33.900 that I just rush, rush, rush, rush, rush, rush. If something's in my way, I'm like, I'm going to

01:03:37.360 blow that thing up as quick as I possibly can so I can get past it. And what I've realized is that

01:03:41.780 very rarely does something need to be blown up that quickly. It might still need to be blown up,

01:03:46.060 but I can blow it up tomorrow. Not right now. Yeah. And, and so my biggest lessons come when

01:03:52.580 I jump, jump too quickly to solve problems. And it's not always a bad thing, but it can be

01:04:00.280 because I leave just this wake of collateral damage in my path. So one thing I've noticed is

01:04:07.960 that if there's an issue, breathe, disengage for a minute, physically or mentally, get yourself out

01:04:15.740 of that situation, try to get different inputs, and then you can come back into it. A lot of times

01:04:20.280 these problems just have a way of working themselves out. And if they don't, and you come back into it in

01:04:24.380 24 or 48 hours and it's still there. Okay. Now you have the right frame of reference in which to

01:04:29.580 operate. One of the most important mistakes that I've ever made is a series of mistakes that led up

01:04:35.980 to my separation. And ultimately the series of mistakes that I made was being too dependent

01:04:40.980 and too attached to my wife. And because I was that way, I was draining her physically, mentally,

01:04:48.600 and emotionally, which led ultimately to a separation. And during that separation,

01:04:53.880 I realized and learned that I needed to be my own source of energy. And then if I can learn to

01:05:01.100 rejuvenate and recharge myself, then I'm actually able to bring something into the relationship.

01:05:06.880 But I was asking her in a way to be my battery pack. So I was, she was draining her stuff. I was

01:05:12.360 draining her energy. We know when we do that because we hear things like, uh, my wife isn't attracted 1.00

01:05:17.980 anymore. The spark is gone. There's no more love. These are all indicators that maybe you drain the

01:05:23.380 spark that was once there and she just can't support or sustain it any longer. Yeah. That's a

01:05:29.260 couple of thoughts that I have. Although maybe those aren't like specifics. Yeah. No, I'd say mine are

01:05:35.380 very similar, but I'd say all the mistakes that led up to me getting a divorce and, and ultimately the

01:05:41.060 lesson learned there for me anyway, was the ownership of my life. Like it was actually in my control.

01:05:47.980 And I wasn't, um, I learned that lesson of not being a victim and, and, and giving away my

01:05:54.100 sovereignty. Yeah. So yeah, that was the most profound anyway. Uh, a couple more. Yeah, man.

01:06:01.580 I got some time. Sorry. Yep. Mark Kerwin, where do you see masculinity in a hundred years? Is gender

01:06:06.920 becoming irrelevant? Thoughts on trends and biology versus nurture? How about tech? Will it shape our

01:06:13.540 masculinity? There's a lot of questions. Yeah. Um, gender will never be irrelevant. Although we

01:06:19.660 will try as a society to make it less relevant, it will always be relevant because it's biologically

01:06:24.500 hardwired into the way in which we operate. You can't program or that or condition that out. We,

01:06:29.940 we talk about gender being societally constructed and yet it's not. Therefore it can't be societally 0.63

01:06:36.720 unconstructed. It's biologically constructed. So as much as these ridiculous delusional people want to

01:06:44.920 warp and, and distort the meaning and the purpose of masculinity and femininity, they will never 0.97

01:06:51.820 succeed because it's something that can't be warped or distorted. Where do I see masculinity going?

01:06:57.880 It's cyclical. Just like anything we're, we're, we're relatively weak. I believe right now there

01:07:03.600 will be some catastrophic event, some war or some condition or some economic catastrophe that will

01:07:10.080 cause us to wake up and realize that we need to harden ourselves to what could potentially happen.

01:07:14.960 And all men will learn to become tough and strong and resilient and gritty like we once were.

01:07:21.360 And we'll begin to be complacent again because we will produce results through our hard work and

01:07:26.940 effort and strength. And then we'll fall into some catastrophic, catastrophic event again,

01:07:32.600 and then we'll weaken ourselves. And I mean, it's just, it's a cycle. And right now I think we're at

01:07:37.400 the low end of the, the, the totem pole, if you will, where men are generally weak and cowardly and 0.99

01:07:43.020 pathetic and a little bit helpless, a lot helpless, I should say. And it's unfortunately, I believe that 0.98

01:07:48.660 it will take some sort of crazy event that will cause us to wake up and realize the error of our ways.

01:07:56.600 And, and I look at my job here with order of man is to get out ahead of that because we don't have 0.99

01:08:01.960 to, and we don't, we don't have to wait until there's some tragic event to fix our shit. 0.99

01:08:09.200 We can do that. Now we do that. It's called consciousness. We project ourselves out to a 1.00

01:08:15.240 future place in time and predict what might potentially happen. Should we continue this

01:08:20.340 course of action and correct it before we get to that point? So that's why this work is so

01:08:27.380 important. I was thinking about this as I was looking at Instagram earlier today, and I saw

01:08:32.680 all these people, cause I follow a lot of inspirational people. And, and I thought to

01:08:35.800 myself, you know, some of these guys are motivational people. Others are, you know, hunters, others work

01:08:41.680 on cars, others are big into fitness. And I thought to myself, you know, it's really interesting how

01:08:45.900 much meaning they find in what they do and, and how much meaning I find in what I do. I think

01:08:51.920 what we're doing here is so critically important because everything else stems from being a man.

01:09:00.420 Like every other way that you can find purpose and significance and meaning in your life stems from

01:09:05.120 you being a more capable man. That's why this work is so important. That's why I'm engaged in this.

01:09:11.280 That's why I ask you guys to be engaged. That's why I challenge you and push you and prod and even

01:09:16.320 poke and hopefully cause you to think about some of your current patterns, because I don't want it

01:09:21.120 to get a situation into a situation where there's some tragic, horrific event that we have to deal

01:09:27.680 with and learn the hard way. We don't have to do it that way. We can do it a much easier way,

01:09:31.360 which is get ahead of the curve. Yeah. What did he say? He was asking about technology.

01:09:38.060 Will technology? Yeah. Look, technology is, is an interesting thing. Yeah. I mean,

01:09:43.160 it's interesting too, because modernity is, is, is an amazing thing, right? We, we, we have these

01:09:49.460 amazing capabilities to be able to connect to people across the planet and we have medical advancements

01:09:55.600 and, and more wealth and abundance and prosperity that we've ever had in our lives. And technology

01:10:01.400 drives much of the innovation and advancement and growth regarding those, those things in our lives.

01:10:07.300 And yet, if we can't learn how to connect with the individual that's sitting across the table,

01:10:12.620 and we can't learn how to engage our bodies through exercise and just going for a hike or

01:10:20.500 going for a walk. And if we're not doing these types of things, I think we're going to find

01:10:25.180 ourselves in a very bad way. So technology is wonderful. As long as you understand that it's

01:10:32.460 a tool to be utilized to help you be in a more, a more effective man. Yeah. All right. Patrick

01:10:39.160 provost, how do you balance work, life, and family? Um, I actually like the second part,

01:10:45.980 part of his question, which is when did you figure out what works for you? I think that's a little bit

01:10:51.280 more insightful. Like what, what, what does this look like specifically for Mr. Mickler to balance

01:10:56.780 work, what say, say it again, balance, work, family, and yeah, work, life, family. I'm not

01:11:02.840 sure why life is different than work and family, but yeah, what are you saying? Yeah. Yeah. So

01:11:06.480 work and family. Well, I don't, if you look on, for example, Instagram, and I was thinking a lot

01:11:11.540 about this over the past couple of weeks is that 80% of what I post is, is family related or

01:11:18.860 personally related very little to do with business because the greater threat is not that a man

01:11:27.320 doesn't know how to adequately work or, or learn the strategies for improving his career. The greater

01:11:33.080 threat is that he forgets why he did it in the first place. So my call, I feel like, and my challenge

01:11:40.960 to you is to go more towards your family, go more towards your personal interactions, because I can't

01:11:50.160 imagine any man lying on his deathbed and saying, you know, I wish I would have put a few more hours

01:11:56.220 in at work. I wish I really would have got that promotion that I was after that would have changed

01:12:00.860 everything. No, no way. What they're saying is I wish I would have stayed, spend a little more time

01:12:06.400 with my family. I wish I would have taken advantage of that opportunity that I once had. Like these are

01:12:10.760 the types of things that we'll be saying. So how do you balance it? You realize the proper order of

01:12:16.100 things and the proper order of things is that you are a provider in so much that you are providing

01:12:21.380 for the people that you love and care about. It's not just for the sake of providing. That's,

01:12:26.180 that's an empty, meaningless pursuit. And it's been, it's been elaborated on and it's been promoted

01:12:34.140 that this is what we are to do. No guys, we, we are responsible for ourselves and our families,

01:12:40.040 and we want to be engaged and we need to be present and we need to be active in their lives.

01:12:43.840 That's what we want. So I would say in order to create more balance, make yourself more capable

01:12:50.820 at work so that your hourly time is worth more. That's the best thing that you can do so that

01:12:57.180 your hourly rate is more than it was before. If your hourly rate, because your capabilities require

01:13:02.840 you flipping burgers at McDonald's, you're going to live an inadequate life and you're going to have

01:13:07.380 to work, you're going to flip a ton of burgers in order to provide for your family. Right?

01:13:13.460 Yeah.

01:13:13.800 But if you improve your capabilities by now, you're not just a burger flipper. Now you can

01:13:19.340 make the burgers and now you can sit on, you can be at the register and you can take orders and then

01:13:24.580 you can upsell and then you can move into a server position where you start getting paid tips. And then

01:13:29.120 you move into management because you understand how the restaurant works. And then you, you see what I'm

01:13:33.260 saying? Like you, you constantly improve your ability to make more money for the same amount

01:13:39.300 of time. Then you can redeploy that time towards more meaningful pursuits, like your family and the

01:13:45.080 people that you care about. That's what it's been for me when I, so I was in the financial planning

01:13:51.000 practice. It was slow, slow, slow, but I constantly learned, constantly grew, had other people coach and

01:13:56.720 mentor me. My time gradually got worth more and more and more. And then I started a podcast and I thought

01:14:01.680 this would be a great way to market the financial practice. And then I started having clients call

01:14:06.140 me instead of having to go chase clients around. They were starting to call me, which made my time

01:14:10.260 more valuable. And then I pivoted to order of man and I learned how to add value and I learned how

01:14:15.200 to market myself and I learned how to podcast. Then I learned how to do a website. And now I'm in the

01:14:19.180 process of learning how to be a better delegator so that things get done. Although I don't have to be

01:14:23.080 the one doing it. And I'd redeploy all of that time and attention towards different pursuits,

01:14:27.660 particularly my family. That's the strategy I'd give you.

01:14:30.180 That was extensive. Sounds good.

01:14:33.180 Anything else? Did we get through all of them or we've still got more?

01:14:36.020 No, we got two, but they're kind of lengthy ones. So I think we should, uh, maybe table these for

01:14:40.320 next week. Okay, cool. Let's do it, man. Let's, uh, let's wrap it up. Take us home, Kip.

01:14:45.640 Yep. Sounds great. So guys, if you want to get your questions, uh, answered on the AMA, uh, you can do so

01:14:52.400 by joining our iron council. You can learn more about the iron council at order of man.com

01:14:59.400 slash iron council. You can also join us on our Facebook group, which is facebook.com slash groups

01:15:07.260 slash order of man. You can follow Mr. Mickler on Twitter and Instagram at Ryan Mickler. And for you

01:15:15.580 guys that want to support the podcast and connect and share this message and, and, and be part of this

01:15:20.920 battle, uh, to restore masculinity. You can do so by subscribing to the podcast, uh, leave a rating

01:15:27.400 and review and get some swag at a store.order of man.com and, and represent what we're doing here,

01:15:34.820 uh, by what you wear. And it's, and we've talked about this quite a bit, but man, it's so fun to,

01:15:40.000 to wear an order of man hat or iron council jacket. And, uh, no, like when I was in the airport,

01:15:47.820 there's a couple of times where I'm like, you know, the guy's looking at me kind of weird.

01:15:51.480 I'm like, yeah, he knows, he knows, he knows, he knows. Yeah. So it's kind of fun. If you know,

01:15:57.080 you know, yeah. Um, and then event and schedule wise, August 25th to September 1st is the origin,

01:16:05.100 uh, Brazilian Jiu Jitsu immersion camp. You can subscribe at origin, main.com slash order camp.

01:16:12.840 And by going to that URL, you're going to actually be tracked to some extent. So we know that you're

01:16:18.920 coming to the event as, as a participant of order of man. And, uh, Mr. Mickler's working with the guys

01:16:24.940 over at origin to get some order of man rash guards made. So excellent. Well done. A big question I get

01:16:32.520 by the way, Ryan is, are you going to have a surplus of those so people can buy the order of man rash

01:16:38.500 guards from the store as well, or are they only available if you go to the camp?

01:16:42.960 I don't know. I'm kind of thinking just make them available for those guys who go to the camp.

01:16:46.860 Yeah. It was kind of fun that way. Maybe I'll have the other ones made up so guys can get their

01:16:51.400 order of man rash guards, but make like an exclusive one for immersion camp.

01:16:55.780 Yeah. That's a good idea. Cause we already have one designed. Maybe we'll do that. We'll have the

01:16:59.940 one designed. What we'll probably do just because I know how it's going to work with origin is we'll do

01:17:05.240 pre-order maybe for some of these rash guards. And then if you come to the immersion camp,

01:17:11.420 then we'll have a, like the new specialty rash guard only available for those who went to the

01:17:17.440 immersion camp. Yeah. I like that. What's our update on the Hoyt?

01:17:21.760 Um, we have a winner. I have reached out to him just waiting to hear back, but we do have a winner

01:17:27.880 for the Hoyt bow. So he will be getting mailed a new Hoyt as soon as I get the specifications for

01:17:35.300 his draw length and draw weight and all that stuff. Yeah. We had over 3,500 guys, uh, register for the

01:17:42.340 giveaway. And then, uh, we, unfortunately we had a couple of guys who disqualified themselves

01:17:48.100 cause they didn't register correctly or put their information in. Right. And we couldn't verify

01:17:52.080 who they were. So we, we went with this guy and he checked out and registered correctly and

01:17:57.860 off to the races. Yeah. I totally started registering. I was like,

01:18:02.660 Oh dude, could you imagine a second? That'd be jacked up. Could you imagine if you won? I

01:18:07.720 can't win the Hoyt. I'm like, cheater. That'd be awesome. We should have done that. We should

01:18:14.720 have said, Hey, you want like, and just for April fools. I hate April fools, by the way, 0.85

01:18:20.040 it's such a ridiculous holiday or activity. It's like, you never know. Anyways, that's all 0.99

01:18:24.940 other conversation. All right, guys, we'll let you get going. It's going downhill fast. Hey,

01:18:28.700 just want to let you know, we appreciate you. Glad you're on this journey. Uh, make sure you share

01:18:32.260 this. There's guys that need to hear this there. I'm telling you, there are guys out there

01:18:35.260 who are struggling, who are trying to salvage their marriages. They're trying to lose weight.

01:18:41.280 They're trying to connect with their kids and advance their careers and grow their bank accounts

01:18:45.680 and really understand how a man shows up in his life. And you might be the catalyst for growth and

01:18:53.840 progress in that man's life. And all it takes is you sharing what we're doing here. So share it,

01:18:59.480 uh, leave a rating and review goes a long way in gaining visibility for the order. Anyways,

01:19:03.560 guys, appreciate you. We'll let you get going until, uh, Friday for the Friday field notes,

01:19:07.360 but until then take action, become the man you are meant to be. Thank you for listening to the

01:19:11.660 order of man podcast. You're ready to take charge of your life and be more of the man you were meant

01:19:16.680 to be. We invite you to join the order at order of man.com.

Order of Man - April 03, 2019

Setting Your Own Standards, Broadening Your Perspective, and the Benefits of Responsibility ｜ ASK ME ANYTHING

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