Order of Man - Solve Your Own Problems, Sobriety and Ego, and Controlling the Controllables

00:00:00.000 You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest, embrace your fears, and boldly chart

00:00:04.960 your own path. When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time, every time.

00:00:10.340 You are not easily deterred or defeated, rugged, resilient, strong. This is your life. This is who

00:00:17.060 you are. This is who you will become. At the end of the day, and after all is said and done,

00:00:22.580 you can call yourself a man. Tip, what's up, man? Great to see you today. Good to be back,

00:00:27.780 and always look forward to these conversations, not just because I think we help guys. It's

00:00:33.360 actually really helpful for me to be able to have a conversation and then work through some of the

00:00:37.100 questions that we get from the guys. Yeah. I don't know about you, but all the time

00:00:42.340 we chat and I kind of walk away with, yeah, I need to step up my game in that area, or I should do what

00:00:50.680 I just said a lot more than I do. I mean, it's, and it's good. I mean, we're not perfect, right?

00:00:56.220 And we talk about that. We're not pretending to be perfect. And so it's just edifying.

00:01:01.040 It's, and I say it all the time, it's the power of the conversation. Right. And, and it's so valuable

00:01:06.580 to be able to have men in our lives, you know, you and mine, where I can have these kinds of

00:01:11.760 conversations versus the shallow, superficial BS conversation that so many men have with one

00:01:18.200 another, not to get all negative town, but it's just, you know, we don't talk about these things as

00:01:23.400 much as we should. No, there's not really. That's one of the great things about this format is we

00:01:27.920 have a, an excuse or a reason to, and most men don't. And so they talk about sports or they talk

00:01:34.980 about the weather, or they talk about, I don't know, the latest gossip in their neighborhood,

00:01:40.320 or they stick primarily to business discussions and they never get into deep and meaningful

00:01:46.560 conversations. So I think the lesson there is that if you do want to band with other men and,

00:01:54.500 and you should want to do that, there's a lot of hard days out there. It'll say, you know,

00:01:59.080 I'm a lone wolf and I'm going to do it on my own. And I look, I understand the appeal of that because

00:02:04.620 banding with other people means that you need to trust other people and you need to be open and

00:02:15.340 vulnerable. And I'm using that in the correct way, meaning that you're exposing yourself

00:02:20.940 to some potential risk when you build a relationship, whether it's a romantic relationship

00:02:27.400 or a platonic relationship with your friends. So I get it, but we should really want to be

00:02:33.680 banded with other men because you're going to learn, you're going to grow. Those guys are going to hold

00:02:39.360 you accountable. When things in your life go South, you're going to have somebody to lean on to some

00:02:44.540 degree. Banding with other, other people is, is so powerful. But what I was going to say is that

00:02:50.100 you need to be intentional about it. If you're going to, if you want to band with other men,

00:02:56.440 the default just ain't going to, it's not going to cut it. So you got to be more intentional,

00:03:01.680 more and more deliberate, which, you know, it sounds like a big sales commercial, but that's one of the

00:03:08.080 beauties of the iron council, which is open as of today is that we have a deliberate intentional

00:03:15.620 system built so that men can tap in and not have to guess about how to build deep and meaningful

00:03:23.740 connections with a band of brothers. Totally. Totally. So true, man. And it's not uncommon that,

00:03:31.420 I mean, we're obviously getting big enough that it's not, I don't know, maybe statistically,

00:03:37.380 I don't know the statistics, but it seems very common to have men in your area. So part of the

00:03:44.440 benefits of the iron councils, we have these channels, these regional channels, and you can

00:03:49.180 get connected with these guys. When, when I, to be frank, if I pull fight night over at my house or

00:03:55.680 whatever, it's literally hop into the iron council and I say, Hey, you know, have this going on at my

00:04:02.280 house? And I invite those guys. So it's not just online. I mean, we're, we're getting to a size

00:04:07.360 where the probability of someone being in your area is really high. Um, and, and you can get

00:04:13.400 physically connected and hang out with some of these fellow members as well. Yeah. I had a friend

00:04:18.760 just reach out a couple of days ago and he said, Hey, uh, this is in the area. There's going to be a

00:04:24.180 Spartan race. It's in July. Do you want to do it? Cool. I mean, he's in the iron council. He said,

00:04:29.480 we're going to get a group of iron council guys together. And, and the, the cool thing about it

00:04:33.820 is I'm, I'm a beneficiary of the iron council too. You know, yeah, we created it, but I'm also an

00:04:40.480 active member in it. And my life would probably not be where it is right now without the brothers

00:04:46.060 that are inside of, inside of the, the, the group. So yeah. You know, it's funny. I'll share this

00:04:52.580 story. It's, it's super hilarious. So we did, we did Ragnar Zion trail relay couples training,

00:04:59.100 uh, couples relay race in Zion's national park. And we had two teams so we could run with our spouses.

00:05:06.840 Yeah. And you know how it is when you have a group of people, it's like last minute, like,

00:05:11.740 oh, someone's sick or whatever. I'm like mad scrambling for someone. And I won't share his

00:05:17.460 name, but it's really funny. So I made it call him out. I made a post on social media and said,

00:05:23.160 Hey, I need a runner for like tomorrow. I literally, I think it was like a day before.

00:05:31.160 And this guy that follows the order of an podcast goes, I'm in really showed up in Zion's the next

00:05:37.540 day. The joke was at camp is everyone called him Craig's Craigslist killer. Cause I kept who's

00:05:44.140 this dude. And we're like, I don't know some dude from the internet. That's going to be cappy

00:05:49.140 with us guys. A total stud. It was super awesome. He actually ended up being like a legit runner.

00:05:55.020 So he's way faster than all of this. So I'm like, I made us even look good actually joined the iron

00:05:59.920 council now, but it's super just like, I don't know. It was just, and he's a solid guy.

00:06:05.060 And it's just funny how it is, you know? So one thing I'll say on that is good for him.

00:06:11.980 Good for him. You know, how many times I've asked people if they want to, here's two examples

00:06:18.380 this week, as of the release of this episode, I'm in Texas with my two oldest boys and seven other

00:06:27.240 guys in the iron council. We're doing an iron council hunt. And between that hunt and a Hawaii hunt later

00:06:34.040 in the year, you know, how many people have turned me down like personal invite. And look, I get it.

00:06:40.640 People are busy. People have things going on. Maybe they're not hunters. Maybe they're not

00:06:44.820 interested. Maybe they don't like me. I don't know. There's a thousand different reasons it could be,

00:06:48.040 but the guy that says yes is the guy who's going to grab life by the balls. Like he's going to make

00:06:57.720 life his own. And so this guy you're talking about, how easy would it have been for him to ignore it?

00:07:04.280 For him to not say anything, for him to come up with all the excuses. Instead, he said yes. And he

00:07:09.800 got connected with a great group of men. He, he participated in a cool physical activity.

00:07:15.520 He's hopefully reaping the benefits. Now the iron council guys, if there's opportunities that present

00:07:21.040 itself, stop looking for reasons to say no and start looking for reasons to say, you know what?

00:07:27.480 Yeah. I think I'll do that. I think I will try that. Yeah. Yeah. Or to think conditions need to be

00:07:33.600 correct. That's, that's where I, that's where I fell is I, things need to be lined up, right?

00:07:39.820 Yeah. And they'll never be lined up. The circumstances are never going to be perfect.

00:07:44.160 No, we had, I had years ago, speaking of Spartan races and Ragnar years ago, I had a guy call me up

00:07:51.420 and we were loosely affiliated or acquainted. I think he, I think he may have at that point been

00:07:58.100 on the podcast a year earlier or something. And he called me and he said, Hey, do you want to go on

00:08:03.060 a cruise to the Bahamas? You and your wife and me and my, my wife. And I said, well, yeah,

00:08:09.500 what's, but what's the catch? And he's like, well, cause it was free. He said, you want to,

00:08:17.880 I have a ticket for you. It's free. And I said, great. What's the catch? He's like, it's this

00:08:22.840 weekend and you got to run a Spartan race. It's a Spartan cruise. So I get off the phone with him.

00:08:30.340 I look at my wife and tell her what's going on. And we both said, yeah, let's do it. And we had,

00:08:35.880 I think we had three kids at the time, maybe four. We had at least three kids. We had to find a sitter

00:08:41.720 real quick. Neither one of us had trained any running or anything like that, but you know what?

00:08:46.100 It was awesome. It was an incredible cruise. We get to meet these people. Another experience.

00:08:53.000 I was looking for a ticket into SHOT Show and a buddy, a mutual friend now who's part of the Iron

00:08:59.440 Council and been a good friend over the years. Colin Cottrell reaches out and he's like, Hey,

00:09:03.420 I have a connection. I can get you in. And he gets me in later. He introduces me to Ted Nugent

00:09:08.500 later. He's actually the one who gets me into hunting. Cause he calls me up and he's like,

00:09:12.360 Hey man, my buddy in Texas needs to go, needs us to come out and shoot some of these deer

00:09:17.600 call this hurt a little bit. And, uh, I'm like, well, I've never hunted before. He's like,

00:09:23.220 I know I want you to go. I'm like, well, I don't have a rifle or a bow. He's like, I know,

00:09:26.080 get one. And I did. And I went hunting and got a bow, got a rifle, took my first deer with a bow,

00:09:34.280 took my first deer with a rifle on that hunt. And that was, I think, seven, six, seven years ago.

00:09:39.260 And hunting is a big part of my life now because you said, yes, that's it. Just say yes.

00:09:45.780 And then figure it out along the way.

00:09:48.260 Yeah. I like it. Asia would be like, yeah, Kip, listen to what Ryan's saying. Stop.

00:09:53.180 Just say yes. Well, there's also a time to say no to, right? I say no too often though.

00:10:00.420 That's the thing. You got to exercise some discernment because for every, everything that

00:10:05.060 we say here, you should do, or we should do, I should say there's the opposite is also true.

00:10:11.760 And there's a lot of things that we should be saying no to as well. So yeah. Say yes to everything

00:10:16.820 and home is falling apart. I don't have a job, but I say yes. All these great opportunities.

00:10:21.780 Ryan said I could go on all the hunts and all the races, hun. Like this fall, you won't see me at

00:10:26.620 all. But Ryan said, Ryan said, Ryan said, yeah, he wrote the book sovereignty. So honey, I got to

00:10:32.080 listen. And then I'll get from these women who are like, and I've actually had this, I think two or

00:10:39.780 three times women, you broke up my marriage. When I've, when I've got those, either one of two or

00:10:50.220 three things is happening. Number one, these are not in any order necessarily, but I won't, I won't say

00:10:58.000 it rude. I was going to say it rude. I won't say it rude. Cause I'm working on positive attitude,

00:11:01.780 but it was probably the right thing based on your attitude woman. Uh, just the way that you're

00:11:09.320 messaging me and coming at me, you know, maybe he's growing and you're not. So that's one option.

00:11:14.680 The other option is he is grossly misinterpreted our message

00:11:18.280 and really messed up. That's an option. Um, and the third thing I would say is if I quote unquote,

00:11:28.260 broke up your marriage and your marriage was that fragile, that a podcaster is the one who

00:11:34.620 broke up your marriage that neither of you really know. Yeah. Trust me. It was not me. It was not me.

00:11:42.420 All right. Let's get to some questions. So we're going to field questions from the iron council.

00:11:47.580 Like Ryan mentioned, uh, the iron council membership enrollment is open. So go to order of man.com

00:11:54.340 slash iron council to learn more. That's going to be open roughly only for until the

00:11:58.180 end of the month until April 1st. So you guys have a limited time to, to sign up once again,

00:12:03.040 order of man.com slash iron council. All right. And first question from moose,

00:12:07.700 how has your relationship with your own ego changed in sobriety, your relationship with your own ego?

00:12:16.920 Well, I think the, the root, not the root, but one of the factors of ego is delusion.

00:12:23.560 When, when, when we're egotistical, we're arrogant, which I define as excessive pride,

00:12:30.580 let's be precise with our language. I'm talking about excessive pride. It's usually rooted in

00:12:36.980 delusion. You think more highly of yourself than you should. Yeah. When a man is drunk, he's also

00:12:45.580 delusional. When he, when he, when he's drinking, he's delusional. He's, he's not, it's not, he's not

00:12:52.520 rooted in reality. His mind is quite literally altered. And so I think I thought more highly of

00:13:01.500 myself when I was drinking because I wasn't rooted in reality. And now that I can see things more

00:13:11.260 clearly, I know where my flaws are. Uh, I'm, I'm more aware of my weaknesses and because I can see

00:13:21.840 those things clearly, I don't think so highly of myself. I, yeah, there's been an increase of

00:13:28.160 humility because of that. For sure. Uh, somebody said it on our iron council Friday call and I've

00:13:33.600 heard this before, but be humble or get humbled. And that's where I'm at in my life right now,

00:13:40.620 getting humbled because I wasn't humble because I wasn't clear headed because I was drunk all the

00:13:49.360 time. So, you know, I will say it's been tempting to drink, you know, at times, uh, cause it would be

00:13:57.160 really, really nice to, to zone out of, of life and reality. But I think a man's got to deal in reality

00:14:04.360 as painful as it might be. At times a man has to deal in reality. And the reality is, is none of us

00:14:10.960 are as good as we think we are. We're not working as hard as we could. We're not as engaged in our

00:14:16.260 relationships as we should be. We're not as physically strong and capable as we think of

00:14:21.580 ourselves. And we have a lot of room for improvement, but if you're egotistical or you're

00:14:27.600 drunk or any other factor, not dealing in reality, then you're not aware of those things. And you're

00:14:34.000 going to get kicked in the teeth proverbially, maybe even literally, uh, before too long. So yeah,

00:14:41.440 definitely a more humble, I would say, which I'm glad, you know, I feel better about that. I'm more at

00:14:47.200 peace with that. Even though going through a hard season, even though coming face to face with my

00:14:53.360 own deficiencies, there's, there's more, well, here's the thing about it is that when a man

00:15:01.960 takes an honest look at himself and, and honestly assesses his performance across various facets of

00:15:12.400 life, if he does it honestly, then he gives himself the chance and the opportunity for growth.

00:15:21.420 But if we're not honest about that, we're capping off our potential. Yes, exactly.

00:15:28.360 Would you say that you're on a, if you don't mind me asking an uptick, doesn't that make sense where

00:15:35.120 that it's not crushing humility. It's not like slapping my face humility. Now it's just like,

00:15:40.740 okay, dealing in reality and, and building momentum.

00:15:45.680 The analogy I would use is digging a big, a big pit in the ground for no reason.

00:15:53.040 Why, why would you do that? Yeah. We do it right. We dig ourselves into a hole.

00:15:58.000 So I think more accurately, Kip, I've stopped digging. Number one, that's the first step you're

00:16:06.320 to stop digging the hole. And then if you're in a, if you're in a pit and it's, and you look up and

00:16:14.940 the climb is daunting and you can't get out like on silence of the lambs, you know, the woman in there

00:16:20.220 and she's trapped in the bottom of the pit and she can't get out. Yeah. Then what do you do? Well,

00:16:27.580 you got to start building something, you know, you got to build stairs or you got to build a footing

00:16:34.260 and a foundation or a hill or something to climb out of, or you've got to build something. And I feel

00:16:39.300 like in my life right now, I'm building a better foundation. So I would not say that I'm out of the,

00:16:46.500 out of the hole by any stretch of the imagination. I would not say that I'm building momentum. I think

00:16:53.180 I'm at the stage of my life where I've stopped digging and I'm building a sure footing and

00:16:57.580 foundation so that I can begin the, the ascent out. Got it. Cameron Smith, have you ever thought

00:17:07.380 of creating a similar program to the IC for business to implement, to increase employee satisfaction and

00:17:13.100 productivity? I know certain, certainly something like this would be a huge benefit for my employer,

00:17:18.920 as well as huge percentage of employees. These days, there are so many people unhappy with their

00:17:24.460 jobs and show only to collect a paycheck, half-ass everything, blow their money, and then complain about

00:17:31.600 how they're paid too little, how they, and how they can't afford anything. I saw some of these questions.

00:17:40.880 The better question is, have you ever thought about doing that?

00:17:44.340 Really? I mean, I'm going to answer it in the spirit of the question, but that's a better question.

00:17:53.080 You know, how many times do we look for solutions to our problems out there? What if you are the

00:17:59.800 solution, not only to your problem, but to other people's problems? That's what the order of man is

00:18:04.560 all about. When I started eight years ago, it was a solution to my problems. And then I invited people

00:18:11.620 along on the path and look where it is now, this global movement. It's incredible, but it's a

00:18:18.140 testament to the power of solving your own problems. So I think the better question is, have you ever

00:18:25.540 thought about doing that? And what would that look like if you did that? Because obviously it's something

00:18:30.820 that you care about. And I would say that based on what you're sharing with me here, that you are

00:18:37.920 somewhat qualified to do it. Now, look, I'll tell you, it's a great idea, by the way. It's a great

00:18:43.860 idea. I don't know if I'm the guy to do it because I don't feel qualified to talk about that. I don't

00:18:49.940 have employees. I don't have to deal with that. So what could I possibly share about employee retention

00:18:58.700 and how to work with employees on your team? You could do that, Kip. I can't do that. I don't know

00:19:04.320 enough about that. So great idea. Maybe think about you doing it. What would you add, Kip?

00:19:13.880 No, I'm, I'm just, this is something that it's unrelated to the question. I, I, I, you're so

00:19:21.060 great at this from a abundancy mentality. I I've seen you do this over the years constantly where

00:19:29.400 someone goes, I want to start a podcast around masculinity. And you're like, awesome. And Oh,

00:19:36.060 I want to do something like what you've done, but for business. Awesome. And I think most people

00:19:41.720 would be like hoarding and going, Oh, this is my jam. And yeah, maybe I'll implement it and,

00:19:47.580 and feel like you need to implement for someone else does because of a scarcity mentality. And, um,

00:19:54.220 I know that's not the question, but I just, this is, this is a superpower of yours and it's,

00:19:59.940 and it's been a great example to me over the years in regards to encouraging other people to do their

00:20:06.060 own thing. It's actually really good. Well, I, I really appreciate that Kip. Thank you. Um,

00:20:11.680 I try to be like that. You know, I can't say that I've always been, or am excellent at it. You know,

00:20:16.800 I still have jealousy or comparison to other people. There's a great quote that I heard years and

00:20:23.160 you're maybe a decade or more ago that has become so internalized that I just operate by this.

00:20:32.300 And it's from Zig Ziglar. And I'm, and I'm paraphrasing a little bit. He says,

00:20:36.280 if you help enough people get what they want, you will inevitably get what you want.

00:20:42.180 Like, I believe that with every fiber of my being, every, everything that I am, every little particle,

00:20:50.860 every little atom of me believes that that is true. If I just help enough people get what it is

00:20:57.500 they're after. Inevitably that's going to be returned to me. It has to happen that way.

00:21:04.820 Call it karma, you know, call it God's bountiful blessings. I don't care what you call it,

00:21:11.100 but that's what it is. There's another phrase. I was in BNI business network international for a lot

00:21:17.420 of years, which is a great business networking group, by the way. And I'm not paid to say that

00:21:22.360 or anything or affiliated with them anyway. It's a great program. It really helped me launch my

00:21:26.640 financial planning practice. And their mantra is giver's gain. Two words, giver's gain. It's the

00:21:34.660 same thing. It's the same concept. The more you give, the more that you will get.

00:21:40.000 You, I couldn't, I couldn't stop the blessings from coming in by helping other people. It's beyond

00:21:49.480 my control. I believe it's divine. You may not, it doesn't matter, but it's just impossible

00:21:55.720 to not help people and have it be returned unto you. Impossible.

00:22:00.900 Yeah. Yeah. We could rat hole on this maybe for a little, little while. I just, it's hard,

00:22:11.880 right? Like when, how, what's your mindset when ego does get into play or there's comparison,

00:22:18.540 right? Because like, I think that's what stops people is they think, Hey man, if I, if I help

00:22:23.280 this person out in this area that might be an area that you want to succeed in, how do you pause and

00:22:30.980 go, you know, I'm going to do it anyway. I don't know. Right. I think far too often we, we get in

00:22:35.480 our own way thinking that, that if we don't keep it to ourselves, then we won't succeed in that area.

00:22:41.640 I just don't believe the pie is finite. I don't believe value will ever run dry because just don't,

00:22:49.500 you know, and maybe I'll go a different direction. That's one thing I found out. I started the

00:22:53.040 podcast, not as order of man, but in my financial planning practice, because I wanted to give more

00:22:59.340 value and I wanted to find new ways to market and to share financial services information.

00:23:04.420 And, you know, I pivoted and you might find that too. You might be so good at adding value to other

00:23:09.840 people in some way that you no longer do the thing that you were doing before. And now you pivot into a

00:23:15.940 new, new direction that you just didn't see before. I, I think it just comes down to what I was saying

00:23:24.740 earlier, Kip. It's, it's so leaving that coded into my DNA. Yeah. And, and like, I also believe,

00:23:34.740 and I think this is more of a spiritual belief, but look, I'm here for a couple of different reasons,

00:23:42.480 two reasons that I'm here, meaning I exist for two reasons. Number one, to learn and to grow.

00:23:50.200 That's number one, to learn and to grow. Number two is to help other people do the same.

00:23:56.220 Serve. Yeah. That is why I am. That is why I exist. It's why you exist, Kip. That's why everybody

00:24:02.840 listening to this podcast exists. You're to exist, to grow and to help other people. And that's it.

00:24:11.260 Like we don't need to, we don't need to explain it any further than that. I, I mean, I'm happy to

00:24:17.400 talk about it, but it's just, I just don't get the scarcity thing. I, I don't, I actually don't,

00:24:26.160 it's hard for me to compute. Now I will say to your point about comparison, comparison gets a bad rap.

00:24:33.560 It's not bad actually in and of itself. It's bad. If it, if it causes you to beat yourself up or

00:24:42.680 causes you to freeze or causes you to retreat, then yeah, comparison's bad. But if I'm at the gym

00:24:48.700 and I see a guy who's jacked, just ripped shredded, I can compare myself to him and think how pathetic I

00:24:59.480 am, or I can just go talk to him and say, Hey bro, you look awesome. Like I want to have a physique

00:25:06.900 like you. Do you have a pointer or two? So I just compared myself, but it moved me in a positive

00:25:13.440 direction. Oh, now I, you mean, if I go to the gym, I could look like that guy. Okay. Yeah. I'm

00:25:18.880 going to do that. It creates possibility. Yeah. Possibility and hope. Yeah. You know,

00:25:25.620 it's the same thing with podcasting. If I see Joe Rogan or, or another guy that's doing really

00:25:30.500 well right now is Chris Williamson. Uh, and he was on the podcast, um, maybe about a year or so ago,

00:25:36.000 he's blown up. And at times I'm like, well, why, why is he, why, you know, of course that's natural,

00:25:42.100 but also it's like, Oh, what did he do? Wait, let me see. Is there something I could learn from him?

00:25:47.760 Something I could implement in my own life or my own business that would help me achieve the same

00:25:52.320 results. And again, if it's service oriented, then you won't fall into the trap of letting it

00:26:00.000 hinder you. You'll use it as fuel to push you forward, to serve more people. Yeah. I like that.

00:26:06.440 All right. Another question on egos from Manny, the Rambo Alvarez, the Rambo, when someone,

00:26:13.040 the Rambo, uh, when someone close. Yep. Yep. Tough guy too. Good role. Uh, when someone close to you

00:26:21.380 is being negatively impacted by their own ego, what is the best way to get them back on track?

00:26:28.880 So someone close to you being negatively impacted by their own ego.

00:26:32.700 There's a lot of questions about ego today, guys. The reason that is, is we're actually studying that

00:26:36.880 in the iron council this month. So you're going to see a lot of ego related questions.

00:26:41.060 So Manny, first question here on this, is that person interested in getting better or improving?

00:26:47.720 If the answer is no, there's probably not a whole lot you can do and you just got to let it run its

00:26:56.120 course. And you know, what's going to happen. They're going to get their, I'm trying not to

00:27:01.060 swear. They're going to get their butts handed to them. They're going to get humbled. Yes. Just like

00:27:05.540 I said, and you know what? And they'll learn. Now, if you're a friend, so Kip, you're a friend. I've

00:27:13.460 been, I was thinking about this last night. I was driving, I was running an errand. I was driving

00:27:17.760 home and I was thinking about this. If you love somebody, even if it's brotherly love, like we

00:27:26.120 have no, we have no word in the English language for romantic love versus brotherly love. But if you

00:27:32.220 love brother or, or your wife or your girlfriend, you have a responsibility to be honest

00:27:40.180 because lying, even through a mission is not love.

00:27:49.100 Yeah.

00:27:50.740 It's not, it's, it's selfish because you're trying to spare yourself from having these difficult

00:27:56.860 conversations. So here's what I would do. So if I see a flaw in you, Kip, well, I love you. I want

00:28:03.620 you to win. I want you to thrive. I want you to succeed. And so I need to bring it up because that's

00:28:09.640 now my obligation. My obligation. And because of our relationship is to bring it up. So I bring it up.

00:28:17.600 Kip, can I talk with you about something? You're going to say yes.

00:28:21.380 Yes. Hey, I've, I've noticed, I've noticed that, uh, you seem to be very confident in some of your

00:28:34.000 capabilities and that's really good. You should be because you're so good at X, Y, and Z.

00:28:41.240 But I've, I see you falling into a pattern that I fell into years ago and I really, really lost my

00:28:50.240 way. And it caused some real turmoil in my life. And because I love you and I care about you,

00:28:59.560 I need to bring that to your attention because I don't want you to go through what I went through

00:29:05.540 years ago because it was brutal. Can I be honest with you about that? And then again, you're going

00:29:13.800 to say yes. Yep. Okay. Now we start to have this conversation and then you just leave it alone.

00:29:22.720 You know, if, if he gets heated back up a little bit, turn the prep, turn the dial on the pressure

00:29:27.620 down. Like if he's like, well, screw, screw off, man. You don't know. Say, Hey, look, you're right.

00:29:32.800 Hey, that wasn't my intent. I don't, I don't know. I just saw something and I went through it and I

00:29:38.240 wanted to bring it to you. If you ever want to discuss it more, just know I'm here for you, man.

00:29:43.500 And then actually be there for them outside of this kind of conversation. If he's like, Oh,

00:29:49.240 really? I didn't know. Okay. That's turn the pressure up a little bit. Right? So you can gauge

00:29:53.700 it based on their response, but they're the one that gets to dictate the level of involvement,

00:29:59.280 but it's your responsibility to bring it up. If they shut it down, wash your hands. You did your part.

00:30:05.420 Yeah. If they're receptive to hearing more and going into it, great. You can get into it more.

00:30:12.040 That's how I would approach it. Totally. The only thing I'd add is, is sometimes,

00:30:17.420 and I, this is a little beyond Manny's question. Sometimes we'll approach this Ryan should or

00:30:25.460 should not be a certain way. And so let me coach him. And then, and then we'll alter our relationship,

00:30:32.480 whether that person changes or not. What do you mean? Give me an example of that.

00:30:38.060 We will, we will, we will withhold our relationship with them because they're wrong,

00:30:44.440 because there's meaning around the way that they've showed up in the world and they're not

00:30:49.780 changing or whatever. Like what I'm trying to say is get really clear that you're going to

00:30:56.740 communicate and they may not listen and then may not be their time. And you need to be kind of okay

00:31:03.920 with that and, and, and give them that freedom to do with it. What you will your job is to maybe not

00:31:11.620 your job, but what you've decided to do is communicate that to them and put that on the

00:31:16.520 table for them to consider. And beyond that, like maintain your relationship, but don't create meaning

00:31:22.300 if like, Oh, well, Ryan didn't listen to me and he's still doing that same thing. And now I'm all

00:31:27.480 hyped up and frustrated because, you know, you're still acting in a negative way with your ego and

00:31:33.500 you know, whatever, just, you know, I don't know. Does that make sense?

00:31:38.100 Yes, it does. And so I think you're right in that you have to be okay with people making their

00:31:46.180 decisions, even if they're the wrong ones. I mean, that being so overly vested in other people's

00:31:53.500 decisions lead to a life of just frustration. Yeah. Now, but that said, so yes, I agree with you on

00:32:03.860 that Kip. The thing I might take a little bit of issue with is the relationship actually might change

00:32:11.580 depending on the behavior. Yeah, that's true. I mean, we could go, the pendulum here could be

00:32:18.300 extreme where we're like, this has to change or I'm out kind of scenarios. Yeah. So for an example

00:32:24.760 of that, since we were talking about drinking, if I've got a bunch of buddies, now I was a closet

00:32:28.820 drinker, but let's just hypothetically say I'd go out and, and, you know, get, get drunk with my

00:32:33.680 buddies. I'm going to tell them guys, look, I'm on the path to sobriety. I'm not drinking anymore.

00:32:39.580 And hopefully they respect that. And we can go do things that don't require drinking,

00:32:45.040 or we can go do things where, you know, people do get drunk, but we don't. And they support me in

00:32:50.940 that. But if they're like, well, sorry, bro, we're still drinking. I have to be okay with their

00:32:55.680 decision. That's fine. They're that's their life. But if that's the case, the dynamic between us

00:33:00.560 changes and, and I have to establish that boundary. Yep. Yep. For sure.

00:33:07.740 All right. Todd breath. Have either one of you got dizzy after some intense day of BJJ.

00:33:16.600 My last role, I got dizzy on how to lay down for a while before leaving first time that this has

00:33:22.400 ever happened to me. Thanks. Well, look, I'm not a doctor, so this isn't medical advice. There's my

00:33:29.920 disclaimer. I mean, make sure you're fit. Like I would go, I'd go have my heart checked and stuff,

00:33:36.880 right. But so, so that's, that's the first thing, make sure you're fit and make sure your heart and

00:33:43.460 your pumpers working right. And all that kind of stuff and your lungs and, you know, go, go get

00:33:47.200 that stuff checked out. But yeah, I get dizzy. Of course. Absolutely. And, and what, what, what does

00:33:53.780 that come from? Lack of blood or oxygen, both of which are likely to happen in jujitsu.

00:33:58.920 So yeah. Self-inflicted and, and inflicted upon. Yeah. That's right. Look, there's been times where

00:34:09.120 I've gotten done with jujitsu and I've gotten in the truck and I'm lightheaded. And so I've

00:34:14.740 literally pulled the truck over. Yeah. Because I'm like, man, if I go out, I'm going to take a bunch

00:34:20.120 of people out with me here. So just pull over for a minute, get your bearings, you know, but make sure

00:34:24.560 you're good. Make sure you're drinking water. Tap, tap often and early, right. As the, as the phrase

00:34:30.500 goes, I don't do that. I don't take my own advice on that, but I should. But yeah, if you're dizzy,

00:34:37.120 good. You worked hard. That's awesome. Excellent. Gross. Make sure there's no medic underlying

00:34:43.300 medical issues. I would say, but yeah, I, I, of course, I think that's good. You should means you

00:34:49.260 worked hard. What do you think? Same. That's happened to me a couple of times where I'm like,

00:34:54.540 I can't even go to the bathroom and shower. You know, I'm like, I'm, I'm stuck here on the mats

00:34:59.100 for about 30 minutes, just trying to recover. So it happens. Yeah. And use it, use it, use it wisely,

00:35:05.700 you know, breathe. Look, I'd work on breathing exercises. I think that's, that will help you

00:35:11.320 increase your lung capacity and make sure you're getting the oxygen you need. Uh, but you might just

00:35:16.620 sit there afterwards and use it as an opportunity to do some stretching or do some mobility drills.

00:35:21.520 And, and so maybe that's your cool down where you can regulate your body and bring it back to where

00:35:27.200 it needs to be before you get in a motor vehicle and turn that thing into a weapon.

00:35:31.980 Yeah. The other thing too, I mean, it is possible that Todd's going a little crazy,

00:35:37.580 maybe a little too intense. So, you know, check, check your ego and, uh, try to calm down a little

00:35:45.740 bit and be present in the moment, not get so intense around everything and just kind of flow

00:35:52.480 with it. I mean, that's, that's a skill that comes in time, the kind of the calmness of jujitsu.

00:35:58.060 And it takes a little while to get there. If you're taught, if you just barely started training,

00:36:02.400 so you could be spazzing a little bit. And so try to work on that. Cause that's going to help you in

00:36:08.040 the future as well to know when to stay calm in the minute, in the, in the middle of the storm.

00:36:14.280 So that is one of the benefits of jujitsu is just being able to stay calm. I was thinking about it

00:36:19.600 and we've talked about it before that time where I drove my forearm into your jar, your chin or

00:36:24.300 whatever I did. Yeah. I remember you're just like mounted me. You're looking down at me and you're

00:36:29.500 just, and you're just looking at me enjoying it. You're like, yeah. And you laugh, you laugh.

00:36:35.760 And I'm like, why is he laughing? I'm going to do this harder. And I was training a little bit

00:36:43.940 ago with someone who is new and strong, no doubt, but just hilarious. Just trying to muscle.

00:36:52.280 The same thing. He didn't do that, but I can't remember what he did, but he was just trying

00:36:56.180 to muscle everything. He was spazzing all over the place. And I'm like, all right, I'm just going

00:37:03.800 to sit here on top of you until you get tired. And then I can have my way with you.

00:37:09.980 And sure enough, it happened. And it's just, it's now I know why you're laughing because it's funny.

00:37:16.120 It's hilarious. It's, it's ignorance, you know, and, and it's not a mean spirited laugh,

00:37:22.160 but it's just, yep. I know what you're doing. And I, and I was there just like you are right now.

00:37:26.500 Yeah. Yeah, totally. All right. Scott Thistle. I see building trust and report like a house of

00:37:35.000 cards. When one simple slip seems to crash the whole thing. How, how do you get the will to

00:37:41.680 start building that house again, rather than walking away from the table? This was mostly

00:37:47.180 driven by listening to a podcast recently where someone whom I'm considered a mentor was a guest

00:37:52.740 and said the most egotistical thing I've heard. I have a hard time listening anymore as that nags in

00:37:58.900 my head, 99.99% of the time. Um, those things are great, but that 0.001 just cannot get out of my

00:38:07.040 head. Well, I hope it's not this podcast. He's asking the question now and answer it. So yeah. And he said

00:38:13.300 that earlier, like this isn't this podcast. So just to clarify, but yeah. Oh yeah.

00:38:21.140 Yeah. You're putting your, you're, you're, you're making people out to be better than they are.

00:38:27.720 Yeah. People suck. I do like, and just because I get one thing wrong, does that negate everything

00:38:37.740 else? That's right. No, just means I got that one thing wrong. You know? So I think what you need to

00:38:43.560 do here is you need to ask yourself, are you propping this individual up higher than you should?

00:38:50.540 Because that's also not fair to them too, by the way, because it strips them of some of their

00:38:54.440 humanity. Right. So that, that's not, that's not fair to that person. You know, we do that to

00:39:00.460 athletes and movie stars and rock stars and this kind of people. Yeah. We assume that they're like

00:39:05.420 great dads because they're a good basketball player. It's really interesting. You're like,

00:39:10.880 oh, he's so amazing on the court. He must be a great dad and great this. You're like, uh, no,

00:39:15.240 they're probably horrible in those other areas. Maybe we don't know. Weird. Yeah. So take,

00:39:21.660 take the people off the pedestal. I would also ask is what this person is saying, is it true? And is it

00:39:27.240 helpful for me? I don't look, I don't need to know everything about a person to know whether or not

00:39:36.180 what they're sharing is accurate and helpful. And, you know, like I think about it with regards to

00:39:42.840 fatherhood. You know, I, I used to be of the mindset that you can't take advice from people

00:39:50.480 who are like not achieving the results that you want. And I don't, I'm actually questioning that.

00:39:59.700 There might be wisdom still there. Yes. Like if you take somebody who's on their deathbed,

00:40:04.520 let's say they've dealt with diabetes their entire life and they're, they're, you know, 200 pounds

00:40:09.340 overweight and they've, you know, they've had their feet amputated and you know, all this stuff,

00:40:14.440 like they might actually have some insight that would help you stay on the path to being healthy.

00:40:22.980 You know, somebody who's broke, although maybe at times they failed to implement it in their own life,

00:40:29.000 or maybe they've dug themselves out of their poverty might actually be more credible than the person

00:40:35.920 who's never been broke at all. Or the guy who's gone through a divorce or the guy who's dealt with

00:40:40.860 a medical condition or the guy who, whatever that there's some real practical advice there. Now,

00:40:48.340 whether they follow it or not, I mean, that's, that's another conversation. Uh,

00:40:53.500 I also think there's value to compartmentalizing things. You know, you talked about basketball.

00:41:00.240 Let's say you want to become a better basketball player. And so you study the greats and you go to,

00:41:04.320 go to, I don't know, programs and trainings and things like this. And, and you, you take their

00:41:11.820 basketball advice and that's it. Yep. Like just cause I'm learning basketball from you doesn't mean

00:41:18.380 I need to learn how to be a good father from you. So that's what I would say is just, is take people

00:41:24.620 off the pedestal, uh, learn to compartmentalize and ask yourself, is this advice accurate or is it not?

00:41:34.320 And, and also I would say too, with the house of cards thing, if it's worth rebuilding,

00:41:40.860 you got to ask yourself, is it, is it worth the time and effort? It might not be. And so that's okay.

00:41:48.200 Just move on. That's okay. But if it is, if you're like, no, I actually really enjoy listening

00:41:53.380 to this person or they really have a lot to say and a lot to share. They get this, you know, one to

00:41:56.820 10% wrong. Well, okay. Is it valuable enough for you to stick around and listen to the other

00:42:02.320 80 to 90%? I don't know. You got to ask yourself.

00:42:06.300 Totally. I was just having this conversation with, um, with our kids. One of the nighttime dinner

00:42:13.940 questions that the wife brought up was, you know, who's someone who's a hero of yours that you look up

00:42:20.140 to. And I couldn't say a person, but I said, Ryan's conviction, my brother's fatherliness,

00:42:30.480 my other brother's reliability, my dad's hard work ethic, right? Like I had all these people, but,

00:42:38.420 but I knew what they were really good at. Right. And what I loved about them. There wasn't a hero.

00:42:44.400 So it was, they were, they were all heroes in their own, right? Yeah. That makes sense.

00:42:49.740 Oh, that's awesome. Yeah. I think if we have heroes, we're always going to be let down.

00:42:55.360 Yeah. Cause they're human, man. They met like, we all mess up. We all screw up. If you're,

00:43:01.660 you're, if that all comes crumbling down, like this house of cards you're talking about,

00:43:05.120 because they mess up, man, you built that on faulty foundation. It's like all these guys with

00:43:09.700 liver King, you know, when liver King came out and said he, he eats or he was, he's taking

00:43:14.160 steroids first. You're an idiot. If you didn't think he was doing that second. So what?

00:43:20.300 Like that's not my life. Yeah. You know? Yeah. Okay. So he's taking steroids and,

00:43:26.180 and what is there other, I don't, look, I don't follow him. So I don't know,

00:43:31.160 but is there other advice that he could share? Well, he's fit. You know, it's not just the roids.

00:43:36.260 He's probably trains a little bit. I would imagine too, you know? So totally.

00:43:42.420 Um, it's funny about that. I had no idea it was a legit thing. Anyway. I, I thought it was like,

00:43:49.660 he's just being funny. It's a joke. You know what I mean? Yeah. Because common sense,

00:43:54.640 because you have common sense that that's why, and most people don't anymore.

00:44:00.480 All right. Karen Gill, what are your daily non-negotiables and how do you handle being

00:44:06.420 flexible with them when outside circumstances are impacting your ability to execute on them?

00:44:11.540 Okay. Well, first they're daily. So you have 24 hours to do them. So that's, that's how you,

00:44:18.900 that's how you do it. So I'll give you an example. That's how you make it work. Yeah.

00:44:22.180 This morning, my schedule was a little screwy, a little wonky. And so I was going to go work out

00:44:26.160 this morning. And I just realized last night, I'm like, you know, it's not going to work out this

00:44:30.300 morning, but exercise training is a daily non-negotiable. So I'm going to do it this

00:44:35.580 afternoon. I don't like working out in the afternoon. I'm tired. I'm done. It's hot.

00:44:41.000 Uh, you know, I, I don't, I don't like doing it, but it's a non-negotiable. So I'm going to do it,

00:44:47.720 but I just had to change it and plug it in somewhere else. So what my non-negotiables

00:44:51.720 are training. I do it every day, seven days a week. You know, some guys will say, well, you know,

00:44:57.660 I, I train three days a week and that's all you need to do. Cool. Then just do it three days a week.

00:45:02.480 I don't do it just for the physical benefits. There's other benefits to it. So that's one.

00:45:08.280 Um, another one is spending time with my kids. So we, we try to get as like yesterday, we,

00:45:16.840 me and my second son played a catch out in the backyard. So that's, you know, took us 20 minutes.

00:45:23.760 That's what we did. We all cooked dinner together. They had, they could have whatever they wanted.

00:45:27.300 So we went to the grocery store and they got whatever they wanted. We cooked all together.

00:45:30.400 That was fun. Um, journaling is, has become a non-negotiable. So just documenting. In fact,

00:45:35.960 I think I'm actually going to come out with a journal for order, man. Cause I get a lot of

00:45:39.560 questions about, Hey, what do I journal about? What do I write about? What do I talk about? How do I do

00:45:43.260 this? How do we do that? It's not that complicated. It really isn't. We're overthinking it if we're asking

00:45:47.960 those questions, but if guys are asking them, I think we can give them some prompts and some things to help.

00:45:52.260 So stay tuned for that. You know, reading, I wouldn't say as a daily non-negotiable there's

00:45:58.700 days I don't read, but that's one thing I do like to do quite often. Hmm. But those, those are,

00:46:04.380 those are mostly it training. Yeah. Well, I do, I do not, I do read scriptures daily, you know? So I

00:46:11.540 guess there's that. So daily, uh, spending time with kids, training, uh, journaling and reading.

00:46:19.660 Yeah. I like to think of this question from the perspective of drinking water and eating

00:46:26.040 like that does, it's not always convenient, but you somehow make it work. Yeah. And it's so

00:46:36.060 different. Just you find a way and sometimes you have to be unreasonable. You know, sometimes you

00:46:41.740 have to, yeah, sometimes you have to do the thing that doesn't make sense. Right? Like I, I, in the

00:46:47.760 past, I remember when I was training for a marathon, it, it lined up with some holidays.

00:46:53.640 Well, for me to get my four hour run in or four mile run in, what am I going to have to do? Wake

00:46:59.580 up before my family does, before we go to Disneyland. Yeah. That's just what's required.

00:47:05.200 And it's kind of fun. I don't know why I, maybe I just embrace that kind of stuff. I kind of like

00:47:10.040 it. Like Matt Jenkins came up to the house like a couple of weeks ago and he's like, well, I'm training

00:47:13.880 for a race. I have to get my run in. Of course, Matt's like, it's eight 30 at night. And he's

00:47:18.720 like, and I'm like, really Matt? I'm like, okay, fine. Let's go headlamps trail on the side

00:47:25.620 of the mountain. Hey, I was better for it. You know? So it's, that's why it's fun.

00:47:30.640 That we come up with because it's fun because you know, you didn't want to do it and you did

00:47:37.620 it anyway. And you're more of a bad-ass than you were an hour earlier. That's why like,

00:47:44.420 and the reason that you feel crappy is because you know, you should be doing something and you

00:47:49.760 don't do it. Or, you know, you shouldn't do something and you do do it. That's why you feel

00:47:56.900 crappy. That's, that's why you're depressed. Self-betrayal. Yeah. That's, that's a great way

00:48:01.640 to say it. That's why you're depressed. And the reason you're fulfilled is because you're doing

00:48:05.420 exactly what, you know, you should be doing. Yeah. Or not doing what, you know.

00:48:10.440 All right. Chris Elder, how would you recommend someone keeping, keep moving forward in all areas

00:48:15.920 of their life when one quadrant of life has seasons, which require 90 to a hundred percent of

00:48:21.860 their attention? I work in a finance and every quarter I have two plus weeks sprint of workload

00:48:27.580 that requires me to bring my other quadrants down to a bare minimum effort. When I get back in,

00:48:34.020 when I get to the back end of that sprint, I find it difficult to get back on track

00:48:39.780 with the other quadrants. Yeah. And that's look, that's okay.

00:48:43.840 So if you don't know what the quadrants are, there's, there's four quadrants that we cover.

00:48:48.500 So we have calibration, which is mental, emotional, and spiritual health.

00:48:52.360 We have connection, which is the relationship you have with others condition, which is your physical

00:48:56.580 health and then contribution, which is adding value, becoming more valuable, a man of value.

00:49:01.120 So yeah, that's okay. You know, that's as long as you anticipate that you have these things coming

00:49:08.460 up and you have a strategy and plan in place. If you're an accountant, for example, I don't think

00:49:14.360 Chris is, he's talking about doing something quarterly. Maybe he's doing accounting or bookkeeping

00:49:18.880 or something. I don't know. Then yeah, that's okay. Just have the plan. That's the biggest thing.

00:49:25.520 Have the plan in place, but don't neglect your other quadrants. Just shift emphasis.

00:49:34.900 Don't not do them, still do them, but maybe to a varying degree. So the analogy I've used in the

00:49:40.860 past is imagine that you're surf surfing and you catch a wave and you're going to make a bunch of

00:49:48.320 micro shifts in your weight, front, back, forward, sideways, every other way. Right?

00:49:53.240 Well, if you need to lean back for whatever reason, I'm not a surfer, but if you need to lean back

00:49:58.380 for whatever reason to stay on this board, on this, on this wave, you're not putting a hundred

00:50:03.160 percent of your weight on your back foot, but you might go from 50, 50 to now 70, 30, I don't know,

00:50:11.180 whatever it might be. And that's what we're saying here. So if you can't train like you normally would,

00:50:15.860 you go to the gym at 7am every morning, you can't do that during these two weeks.

00:50:19.800 Look, we get it. Maybe it's a body weight workout in your office, on your lunch break.

00:50:25.240 This goes to the point you were talking about earlier, Kip. So you're not neglecting it.

00:50:29.420 Also, you need to communicate with the people who are impacted by the decisions that you're making.

00:50:34.080 So for example, your connections are going to suffer if you're stuck in the office

00:50:38.060 for 12, 14 hours a day for two weeks, you need to communicate with your wife and kids about why

00:50:45.800 that's the case and what's going to happen on the other side of this. And then you actually need

00:50:50.620 to follow through with it. Look, as far as getting back into the routine, I get that. I understand

00:50:56.460 that. But what you need to do is you need to make these two weeks of the quarter part of the routine.

00:51:03.460 It's not a variance of the routine. It's actually part of the routine.

00:51:07.620 So now it's anticipated. It's expected. It's planned for. You're not deviating from your course.

00:51:16.260 You're actually just playing it out. And that way, when those two weeks are done, you can get back on

00:51:21.120 this other part of the plan that you were on before. It's just part of the plan. Make it part of the plan.

00:51:27.760 Tyler Turner, what is the most powerful shift in mindset you guys have experienced or embraced in

00:51:36.440 your lives? And how has that played out in your lives or recommendations on how others could

00:51:42.680 implement these mindsets? For me, two immediately come to mind. So I didn't see this question before

00:51:50.420 we jumped on. So I didn't prep for this one, but two come to mind. The whole concept of extreme

00:51:57.460 ownership was a big shift for me. And I, and I have attempted to embrace that fully.

00:52:07.320 And the more that I embrace that concept, the better I am for it. So there's that. The other

00:52:13.860 shift in mindset relates to fatherhood. And that is that it's my job to put myself out of work.

00:52:21.280 Like I'm, I, it's my job to, as I said in the past, render myself obsolete as a father.

00:52:30.660 And that causes me to have different conversations with my kids. It causes me to be more productive

00:52:37.400 in the work that we're doing and, and what I'm teaching them because my role is to put myself out

00:52:43.300 of work. Those are two big shifts for me. Yeah. Yeah. I would say ownership as well. I,

00:52:51.140 I think that was the, and it was interesting. It's, it's so hard to even look back and think that I saw

00:52:58.160 the world that way, but I was so blinded and so bought into the things that were not working out in

00:53:06.660 my life was a result of someone else and not me. And I was a victim to it. And it's just so

00:53:16.360 crazy that, that, that, that was so baked in. My marriage wasn't good. Why? Because of what my

00:53:22.440 wife was doing. My childhood was an ideal because of my parents, right? Like I had all these reasons

00:53:28.780 versus taking responsibility for how I showing up in the world in the present agnostic of those things.

00:53:37.200 And, and it's, it's, it's, it's pretty much extreme ownership, but, but it's really interesting

00:53:42.240 too, is a lot of people that follow like Harbinger Institute. One of my favorite books is the anatomy

00:53:48.820 of peace. And, and you've heard this term like an outward mindset. What outward mindset is extreme

00:53:57.220 ownership. It is instead of being out of integrity and blaming someone else and being a victim, you're

00:54:07.100 taking ownership for how you see them. You're taking ownership for your response to other individuals

00:54:13.980 emotionally. And then you're taking ownership of how you're going to act moving forward. And it's,

00:54:23.120 it's everything. Integrity is everything. Agree. The other thing that I thought of,

00:54:29.060 as you were saying that Kip is, and I've adopted this mindset more, it's something I've been aware

00:54:33.780 of, but I've adopted it more in my life over the past several months is control the controllables

00:54:38.780 and then just let the rest go free, free yourself of the burden of unexpected and uncontrollable events

00:54:51.620 and people. That's the hardest thing about relationships. You're relying on somebody

00:54:58.320 else. And, you know, to a degree there, there should be obviously a level of trust there.

00:55:04.420 There's agreements that have been made, of course, but at the end of the day, like you can't control

00:55:09.620 other people. You can't, you, you, you can only control yourself. It's it, your fitness,

00:55:18.260 what you eat, how you respond to situations, your mindset, how you interpret experiences. Like

00:55:26.760 that's it. That's all you can do. And then you just have to have faith that things will work out

00:55:34.160 in the macro. That's one thing I want to make sure people are aware of too. If you do all of the right

00:55:41.120 stuff today, your life is not going to immediately turn around. Like you're not going to get the

00:55:47.100 promotion today. Your wife is not going to tell you that she wants to come back. You're like your

00:55:52.900 fitness. You're not going to lose 50 pounds. That's not going to happen today. If you do everything

00:55:58.440 right for the next 24 hours, that's not going to happen. But over the course of a year, over the

00:56:06.300 course of five or 10 or 20 years, if you do everything right every day and not even everything,

00:56:14.280 right. 80% right. Yeah. In the macro, it's all going to work out. It will all work out. I promise

00:56:22.820 you. I promise you it'll work out. Jay Grindrod, what is your take on the three banks folding in the

00:56:32.740 past week, especially as the FED has announced that all deposits will be returned to the account

00:56:38.900 holders. How is this sustainable on different levels, nationally, community, and individuals?

00:56:45.160 Well, it's not sustainable. Look at 2008. We know what's happening here. We know the game that is

00:56:53.020 being played. The cards are stacked against us. The system is rigged and there's a real problem.

00:56:59.480 Janet Yellen. She had said that initially that the government wasn't going to bail out or

00:57:10.440 return deposits over 250,000 because that's what's FDIC insured is 250,000. But a lot of these people

00:57:18.860 had significantly more money than $250,000 in the bank. And then she rolled out a plan. I think it

00:57:25.740 was just yesterday. This is Sunday. So as of the recording of this yesterday, which was Sunday,

00:57:32.040 she had said that they're going to try to make account holders whole with the exception of some

00:57:37.840 of the executives and a few others. But it wasn't going to come at the cost or the expense of the

00:57:43.640 taxpayer. Explain to me how that works. Well, there's only one way. You ready for this?

00:57:48.920 You ready? There is actually a way that can happen. Print money. That's the only way that

00:57:57.620 it could not come at the expense of taxpayer dollars. But in the end, that still comes at

00:58:01.380 our expense because now we have runaway inflation. The problem is a couple of things. Number one,

00:58:07.380 we deviated from the gold standard. That's an issue. That took place, well, I think it was in 1933.

00:58:15.440 Is that FDR? Yeah. Said no more private ownership of gold. And then in 71, we got off the gold

00:58:23.360 standard completely. So now we just have this fiat currency that the government said, you have to use

00:58:28.680 this. And there's no backing to it. So that's a problem. The other problem is a fractionalized

00:58:35.960 banking. That's a problem. If you guys don't know what fractionalized banking is, go ahead and take a

00:58:40.900 look. But essentially, if I deposit $10,000 into my account, the bank, if I understand correctly,

00:58:49.900 they call it the reserve ratio. And the reserve ratio is the amount of money that a bank needs to

00:58:56.800 keep in reserves relative to the loans outstanding. If I understand correctly right now, it's between

00:59:05.820 zero and 2%. So if it's zero, that means for every loan I have outstanding, I have to have nothing

00:59:12.900 in the bank backing up that loan. So if I deposit $10,000, they could go out and loan $100,000,

00:59:22.340 a million dollars that they just created out of thin air. And if I go back to get my $10,000,

00:59:31.720 and everybody else goes back in to get their $10,000, it's not there. It's not there.

00:59:40.140 So between going off the gold standard and fractionalized banking, you guys can dig into it.

00:59:45.240 We are in for some rough times, but we're stupid. I mean, we are consumers, the public are stupid.

00:59:52.480 I'm explaining terms that aren't really that complex that people even listening to this podcast

00:59:57.560 won't understand. That's scary. That's a scary situation. And we continue to let these things happen.

01:00:06.420 And we continue to let elected officials do these types of things. And even unelected appointed

01:00:12.740 officials do these types of things without consequence at our expense. So unless we can wake

01:00:20.500 up and talk about these issues, vote people out of office, make a mockery of these individuals who do

01:00:28.540 this kind of thing and run them out of town, nothing will change. And we'll continue to print money

01:00:34.480 and make ourselves as a country more vulnerable, have runaway inflation like we do now.

01:00:41.640 It's going to get bad unless we can wake up and start to educate ourselves because the school system

01:00:46.700 isn't going to do it. Guess why? It's part of the government that wants to control you.

01:00:51.420 We are morons. No, no, no, no, no, no. It's different. The public schools, no, they want to

01:00:57.420 help. Yeah. I think teachers do generally. Individual teachers, I believe that's true, but they're part of

01:01:02.980 a system that is stacking odds again. It's not broken. It's working perfectly. For whom?

01:01:12.900 The government. The government. It's not a broken system, guys. We need to stop with the passive

01:01:18.840 language. It's not broken. It's working according to plan. And we got to do something about it.

01:01:27.260 There you go. There you go. That's a good call to action. So gentlemen, we spoke about the Iron

01:01:33.120 Council. It is open for enrollment. So if you haven't joined us, go to orderofman.com slash Iron

01:01:38.840 Council. You got two weeks to sign up to connect with us on Facebook, go to facebook.com slash

01:01:45.060 group slash order man. And of course you can follow Mr. Mickler on Twitter and Instagram at

01:01:50.520 Ryan Mickler. Anything else, sir? That's it. That's all I've got. Great questions today. We had some

01:01:56.500 really good ones. Yeah, they were awesome. Well, thanks Kip. I appreciate you, man. I know you got to

01:02:02.660 get going. I got to get going. All of us have busy lives. So you guys get to it as well. Appreciate you

01:02:06.780 all. We will be back on Friday. Until then, go out there, take action, and become the man

01:02:12.320 you are meant to be. Thank you for listening to the Order of Man podcast. If you're ready

01:02:16.940 to take charge of your life and be more of the man you were meant to be, we invite you

01:02:21.200 to join the Order at orderofman.com.

Order of Man - March 15, 2023

Solve Your Own Problems, Sobriety and Ego, and Controlling the Controllables ｜ ASK ME ANYTHING

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