Order of Man - Solving Simple Problems First, Focusing on the Long-Game, and Overcoming "Superhero Syndrome" ｜ ASK ME ANYTHING

00:00:00.000 You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest, embrace your fears, and boldly chart

00:00:05.000 your own path. When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time, every time.

00:00:10.440 You are not easily deterred or defeated, rugged, resilient, strong. This is your life. This is who

00:00:17.240 you are. This is who you will become. At the end of the day, and after all is said and done,

00:00:22.800 you can call yourself a man. Mr. Kip Thornton, what's going on, brother?

00:00:26.720 Not much. Wrapped up Halloween. I think Halloween is a measuring tool of a generation.

00:00:36.580 How so? I couldn't help but go trick-or-treating and notice the difference of how I trick-or-treated

00:00:42.900 as a kid versus how kids trick-or-treat today. Well, when I was a kid, my mom just said,

00:00:49.800 go trick-or-treating and be home at nine or 10 or whatever it was, and then we were off to do our

00:00:54.000 own thing. Yeah. Is that? Yeah. I think doing it solo is one aspect of it. The other one was

00:01:02.140 my objective was it was work. I got this pillowcase. I got this amount of time, and my objective was one

00:01:12.100 thing, to get as much candy as possible in that window of time. Is that different than kids these

00:01:19.840 days? Yeah. Most kids are like, I'm done. I'm like, wait, there's still free candy all throughout

00:01:25.580 the entire nation. It doesn't matter how cold it is. You need to push through. Yeah, but part of the

00:01:29.920 reason is because everybody does the trunk-or-treats, so they don't need to work for it. They just go

00:01:35.720 from car to car to car to car to car, and then there's candy, candy, candy. I love Halloween. I love

00:01:41.980 the spookiness of it. I love that kids get to dress up. I like fall. It's my favorite season.

00:01:49.020 I do not like the whole idea of just go around and people give you shit. That seems like the dumbest 1.00

00:01:55.660 thing ever. I don't like that aspect of it at all. It's consumerism at its finest. I see. 0.99

00:02:02.520 So for you, you would say be like, so many burpees per house before you get the candy,

00:02:07.340 make them work harder. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. It's like go from trunk to trunk. How hard is that?

00:02:15.760 It's weak, man. I don't know. And then you have all this candy, and it's like,

00:02:20.080 we don't let our kids eat all that, so why are we consuming all of it? And then people are

00:02:25.820 spending hundreds and hundreds of dollars on candy. I don't know. It's weird. It's such a weird

00:02:30.000 thing. That said, we went trick-or-treating last night. Apparently not too weird. It's just weird.

00:02:37.000 I don't like it, but the kids have fun, and they get to see their friends and dress up and

00:02:41.700 et cetera, et cetera. Yeah. I've never been a fan of the trunk or treat. In fact, we don't.

00:02:48.880 I mean, I get it. I get it because society is a whole lot less safe, I think, than maybe it used

00:02:54.540 to be with regards to that. And there's weirdos, man. There's creeps out there. Yeah.

00:02:59.580 But at the same time, it's like, earn it. Go earn that.

00:03:02.820 See, I just throw my kids to the creeps and say, hey, you know what? Fend for yourself. Here's a knife.

00:03:07.000 Okay. They're also highly trained jiu-jitsu practitioners. Yeah. I wish, actually.

00:03:14.600 All right. Well, should we get into the questions? Your video is frozen, but it is what it is. We

00:03:21.220 got you on audio anyways. It'll be awkward for someone watching on YouTube.

00:03:25.260 Yeah. If you watched on YouTube, you're in a very compromising position right now.

00:03:29.880 Really? Do I look like an idiot? 1.00

00:03:31.120 Idiot. Well, I don't know if it's like the fact that you're frozen that makes you look 1.00

00:03:35.840 like an idiot, but it maybe highlights or brings attention to it. 1.00

00:03:39.960 It looks normal, really. 1.00

00:03:42.080 It looks normal. Like, it doesn't look any different than you normally look. So, I guess

00:03:46.900 you're good there.

00:03:47.920 Oh, well, at least that is working.

00:03:50.060 All right, guys. We're fielding questions from, I think we'll start with the Iron Council

00:03:54.660 today. And then we'll probably get through all those based on how many questions we have.

00:03:58.520 And then we'll dive into the Facebook group a little bit.

00:04:03.400 Yeah. Sounds great. So, our first question is from Joseph McHugan. How do you go about

00:04:09.260 picking the monthly topics within the Iron Council? So, maybe we explain that briefly first.

00:04:15.040 Okay. Yeah. So, inside the Iron Council, which most of you listening know or watching, is,

00:04:20.620 excuse me, our exclusive brotherhood. We've got challenges and assignments and we're having

00:04:25.320 conversations and holding each other accountable. It's just an elevated way to communicate amongst

00:04:29.600 men who are on the same path or similar paths, I should say. Want to get better. Want to improve,

00:04:34.460 make themselves more capable as fathers, husbands, leaders in the community, owners of businesses,

00:04:39.780 employees, et cetera. Every month, we do a monthly topic and then we break it into subcategories that

00:04:45.720 we're talking about on a weekly basis. So, most of the way that we decide on the monthly topic

00:04:50.500 Joshua Laycock and I go through that and we see what trends have done well. We see what

00:04:57.980 conversations are taking place inside of the Iron Council. If there's trends and conversations that

00:05:03.720 continue to get brought up, then we know that that's probably a pretty good indicator that we

00:05:07.700 should talk about on a monthly basis. We also try to build upon previous monthly topics and cover

00:05:13.620 things that we've never even discussed before. So, a combination of what haven't we discussed,

00:05:20.420 a combination of what topics guys are talking about naturally and addressing. Maybe there's

00:05:25.840 some current events or some trends in society that we feel like we can address. We take all of that

00:05:31.380 into consideration. And also, what's done well in the past. If there's a topic that's landed flat,

00:05:36.160 then we know, okay, well, for whatever reason, this isn't that appealing or interesting to the guy.

00:05:39.960 All right, guys, we're back. Before I was so rudely interrupted, I just thought you hung up on me.

00:05:43.840 You were thick of hearing me talk about how we choose topics in the Iron Council. So,

00:05:48.180 I'm like, well, I guess he's done with hearing that. So, yeah, I just want to do my hair so I

00:05:52.600 don't look like an idiot. I started getting all like self-conscious and stuff. So, 0.98

00:05:56.900 do you feel like you're good now? Yeah, I'm good. Okay. All right. Well,

00:06:00.620 let's move on to the next question then. All right. Sean Saylors. What's a good way to introduce

00:06:05.620 my five-year-old and two-and-a-half-year-old to the concepts of masculinity without it seeming like

00:06:11.620 I'm teaching them intolerant things along the lines of boys don't do that stuff? Example,

00:06:17.640 recently, my oldest had something and acted like it was a bra. I told him he doesn't wear bras and

00:06:23.240 to stop acting like he was. Well, I don't, I think he's got a misguided sense of what masculinity is.

00:06:30.600 I mean, he said, read the part where he said, introduce them to masculinity without, et cetera,

00:06:36.940 et cetera. Yeah. Without seeming like I'm teaching them intolerant things along the lines of boys

00:06:42.460 don't do that. That's not what masculinity is. Masculinity isn't about being intolerant of

00:06:48.740 anything. Masculinity is about teaching frameworks that are going to help your children and other 0.80

00:06:53.920 people thrive and succeed and do well. And it's not bad to say that boys don't wear bras because boys

00:06:59.880 don't have boobs. Like that's it. A bra is for breasts and men don't have breasts, so they don't 1.00

00:07:10.260 wear bras. That's it. Keep it simple. Unless you wear them on your heads, right? Weird science. 0.96

00:07:15.300 Right. And then that's totally acceptable. Totally acceptable. Or it's Halloween and you're dressing

00:07:21.200 up or whatever. But like, yeah, I think you might be overthinking this one a little bit. I have all kinds

00:07:27.420 of conversations with my kids, not just sons, but daughter as well about what is appropriate

00:07:32.600 behavior and what isn't. I'm so sick of society saying that, well, you just let your kids do 0.67

00:07:37.840 whatever they want, dictate whatever they want, feel however they want, dress up with whatever

00:07:41.640 they want, be a girl, be a boy, think you're whatever gender. That's stupid. Kids are dumb. 1.00

00:07:47.900 Well, let me say it this way. Kids are ignorant, which is why they have parents. Too bad parent. Most 1.00

00:07:53.020 parents are ignorant too. Like our job is not to just let our kids do whatever the hell they feel 1.00

00:07:57.900 like doing. Our job as a parent is to let them know what is appropriate behavior. Now, some people

00:08:02.780 say, well, what is appropriate? Appropriate is something that is going to serve them well and

00:08:08.000 serve society in general. Well, that's what appropriate behavior is. Well, who dictates that?

00:08:13.620 We do individually and collectively. This isn't rocket science.

00:08:18.260 Yes. And it's going to, you're going to be intolerant of something because you should be

00:08:22.640 a standard. Yeah. Your standards are not going to agree with everybody. So guess what? Your kids are

00:08:27.700 going to have an opinion or should have an opinion that's not in line with everyone else. Right.

00:08:32.940 It's not popular sometimes. Right. Well, and then there's also a difference between intolerance

00:08:37.580 and acceptance, you know, like for example, right. I, I accept, um, I can accept that some people are

00:08:46.860 homosexual, for example, or, or, uh, think they're a woman or think that a woman thinks they're a man. 0.91

00:08:53.060 Like I, I accept that, but I don't, I don't embrace that thought. That's not, that's not something

00:09:00.200 that I choose to embrace, but I can see that, that people are, that's the way some people are

00:09:07.380 or choose to be. And so, okay, great. But I don't have to adopt that as my own personal mantra. I don't

00:09:12.960 have to say that it's okay just to make you feel better about your life choices and decisions.

00:09:18.600 Yeah. So maybe as an example, Ryan, what's that conversation where you could express that to your

00:09:25.000 kid about, you don't have to agree with it, but we don't place too harsh of a judgment on other

00:09:29.800 individuals. Everyone, you know, let them do their thing, but this is what we do. Like maybe that's

00:09:34.100 kind of what Sean. Well, I'll give you an example. So when my kids were younger, specifically my oldest,

00:09:37.800 he would see people smoking and he would say, Oh dad, they're smoking. That person's like gross or

00:09:42.400 something. I'm like, well, look, like we don't, I don't agree with smoking. I don't think it's healthy.

00:09:47.500 I don't think it's good for you. Um, I think it's expensive and it causes all kinds of health issues.

00:09:52.180 I think objectively most, even the smokers would, would agree in a test of that. Yeah. But it

00:09:57.580 doesn't make them a bad person. And so we would just have those conversations. Hey, you know what,

00:10:02.160 bud? Like people make their choices. I make bad choices. You make bad choices. They make choices

00:10:06.700 that aren't in their best interest. And we can still appreciate that individual respect that

00:10:11.760 they're probably a decent human being and that they've made this choice that doesn't serve them

00:10:16.980 well. And that's it period. Same thing with tattoos. I remember when my son would see tattoos

00:10:22.160 you know, he's like, Oh, they have a tattoo. Yeah. And that's a, that's it. I don't have any

00:10:27.560 tattoos. I don't think anything bad about tattoos, but again, we don't, unless that behavior is

00:10:32.360 affecting us in some way, like we don't need to, we don't need to judge necessarily that behavior.

00:10:38.100 Like we just let people do what they're going to do unless it affects me. It's like it's their

00:10:41.680 life. It's their deal by all means do what you got to do. If you don't mind me suggesting

00:10:46.220 though, but you still want to establish what that is, what that standard is for you and what we deem

00:10:51.940 as acceptable in our family, but, but be okay with other people doing something else. Right.

00:10:56.620 Otherwise it's like, Oh, I mean, anything's okay. Yeah. Because I like in that same conversation

00:11:02.060 about smoking, for example, I'm like, we're not going to judge that individual. That probably,

00:11:05.320 that person's probably a decent and good human being. That doesn't mean that we're going to smoke.

00:11:10.120 In fact, I don't even say that. I ask, well, what do you think about smoking? Well, I think it's

00:11:14.260 gross. I do too. So, and those are the conversations we have, but we don't need to attach unless there's

00:11:20.860 certain behaviors. We would attach that to who the person is, right? But habits and things like that.

00:11:26.960 No, I don't think so. Okay, cool. Bubba Downs. He actually has a, can I say one more thing?

00:11:34.160 I'm sorry about that. Yeah, no worries. I'm just thinking about this a little bit more. I mean,

00:11:37.600 his kids are two and five, like how much are you really going to have as far as the conversation

00:11:41.640 goes. So I would say outline what it is and be truthful about bras, for example. Like,

00:11:47.820 look, if it's playful behavior and they're dinking around, I don't think there's anything to worry

00:11:51.840 about. Right. I think a lot of guys worry about, Oh, well, what if he's, what if he's transsexual or

00:11:57.320 it's like, well, cause he's three and he's like playing with a bra. Like, I don't think that's

00:12:02.480 what that means. I don't think you have to worry about that just yet. Like there's, there's going

00:12:07.980 to be some other indicators if that's something you need to worry about. But that said, just model

00:12:12.380 the behavior that you'd like to see in your children. They see it, they pick up on it,

00:12:16.320 they recognize it. And you know what, if you're, it's the preacher's daughter syndrome. If you're

00:12:21.160 a dick about it and you, you like, like hide it and you, and you keep it from them and you don't 0.99

00:12:28.460 have conversations like this, then they're more curious about it. And they might do things out of 0.98

00:12:32.860 rebelliousness just because you were the way you were. Yeah, totally. So Sean, for, for moral

00:12:39.720 guidance, maybe watch footloose, like that whole thing, you know, plays out in footloose, really good

00:12:44.940 source of, uh, you know, not funny. I haven't seen it. No way. Are you kidding? Yeah. I haven't

00:12:52.580 seen it. Forget it. So that was all for you, man. I thought it'd be funny. You're like, uh, okay,

00:12:59.160 whatever this guy's, okay. There's a preacher, there's a daughter. She gets wild. Oh, okay.

00:13:04.500 It's like the nineties. Maybe you're too young, young buck. Yeah, maybe. Yeah. That's the one that 0.71

00:13:09.600 was partly filmed in a Lehigh, right? Yeah, totally. Like an old mill. Yeah. Okay. Good dance moves too.

00:13:17.420 Apparently. Okay. What's that other one with Patrick Swayze? What's that other, uh, dirty dancing?

00:13:22.680 Yes. That's, I do not like that movie either. All right. Bubba downs. Uh, so Bubba has a statement

00:13:31.380 that he'd like to be made. Not so much of a question. Should we just invite him here on the

00:13:36.700 podcast and yeah, just let him go rant. Yeah. Okay. Pull a Bubba is what we call that. So, um, and it's

00:13:43.340 really around the notion of 60 bucks a month for the iron council. So let's lay that groundwork

00:13:48.200 really quick. So iron council membership, um, is 67 bucks and, and just naturally we get

00:13:55.440 a little bit of like, Hey, you know, let's make this, uh, more affordable or some things

00:14:00.160 we'll sometimes hear. Um, actually probably not too often. I, I'm assuming maybe in Facebook

00:14:06.620 you might hear not in the IC in the Facebook you might. Um, but the other thing I've heard

00:14:12.020 and I'd like you to make a comment to this too, Ryan is, Hey, let me sponsor someone.

00:14:17.700 Oh yeah. And, and let me pay for their membership because they really need it. And I think both

00:14:22.100 of these things are kind of tied to one another. So let me, let me read what Bubba's asked us

00:14:25.900 to. And, and someone said, Kip, if you could do it with Bubba's accent, it'd be extra, uh,

00:14:30.740 enjoyable. I don't know if I can pull that off. That's really hard. You can't. All right. So

00:14:36.120 I'll do my best. If you don't believe you can pay for the iron council, then you are the guy

00:14:41.760 that needs it most. Stop hiding behind your bullshit, get out of your comfort zone and do 1.00

00:14:46.620 the damn work. Quit buying that coffee in the morning. Quit buying the, the scratch off. Stop 1.00

00:14:52.780 drinking with your buddies on the weekend. Stop hiding behind your money. Woes, as though

00:14:57.460 it was some kind of shield rant over, enjoy the rest of the podcast. Bubba out.

00:15:04.240 Well, there's a lot to unpack here. Those are all, those swear words are all quotes, right?

00:15:10.880 Right. It wasn't you swearing. Nope. Um, okay. So there's a couple of different ways to take

00:15:17.340 this. First, we just have to assume that some people don't want to join the iron council.

00:15:22.780 And that's fine. Yeah. Stop getting mad at them, Bubba. Right. Like just because they're not going

00:15:27.860 to invest to be a member of the iron council, it means that they're making an excuse. So let's just

00:15:32.820 be clear about that. Some people don't need it. Don't want it. Don't see the value in it. So that

00:15:38.840 that's fine. I have no problem with that. But now let's say, let's, let's take it for what I think

00:15:43.680 he's saying, which is that there are those who are interested and they're, and they say like,

00:15:48.340 I'm interested, but I have this. And, but I have that. The other thing that we have to be careful

00:15:53.040 of. And as I get older and more mature, I'm more cautious about just this black and white thing is 0.98

00:15:57.600 that I don't think $67 is a lot of money. Bubba may not think $67 is a lot of money, but that's all

00:16:03.940 relative. And I'm not going to say that it's a lot or a little for anybody else. They have to decide

00:16:09.420 that for themselves based on their own financial situation. I don't know. I don't know what their

00:16:12.960 situation is. $67 a month could be a lot of money to some people. And maybe they have, have stopped

00:16:20.620 going out and maybe they aren't going on their drink runs and buying the pack of cigarettes and

00:16:24.640 spending. Maybe they're already doing that. I want to assume that some people are. Let's get even

00:16:30.840 deeper here. If somebody wants to be part of it, they're spending money on stupid things and they 1.00

00:16:37.080 know it's stupid and they're using that as an excuse not to invest in themselves, then absolutely. 0.99

00:16:42.500 That's a problem. And I'm not just talking about investing in the iron council. I'm talking about 0.99

00:16:46.580 buying books and I'm talking about going to conferences and purchasing courses and, and

00:16:52.120 investing in things that they believe will serve them well. And I, I use the word invest very

00:16:57.840 deliberately because it's not about spending. We're not spending here. Technically. Yes, I guess

00:17:04.100 we are, but we're investing, which means that an investment will yield a return. And I believe

00:17:10.400 inside the iron council that the return that will be yielded is significantly greater than the

00:17:14.240 investment one makes with their money and their time. If you don't see that as being the case,

00:17:19.900 or you don't think that's true, then yeah, don't join the iron council. I would say that would be a

00:17:23.160 bad investment for you, but he's right to the degree that there's people who want to be part of the 0.96

00:17:29.920 iron council and are spending money on stupid things and simultaneously complaining about not 0.98

00:17:34.340 improving themselves. Yeah. Get off your butt, invest in yourself, do the work. Like he said. 1.00

00:17:40.000 Yeah. And there's always, and a lot of this relates to like time management too,

00:17:44.600 but it's almost like the same. Oh, there's a lot of ways. I don't have time or whatever. It's like,

00:17:48.960 yeah, you do. You have the time. Most people have the time. Most people have the money.

00:17:52.980 They're just, they have all these reasons and excuses of why they can't. And that's just their

00:17:57.420 escape go where they don't want to accept the idea that it, guess what? You have to buckle down

00:18:02.580 and maybe do something hard, right? They'd much rather be a victim of some other circumstance than

00:18:06.740 just deciding that they're, that they don't want to make the investment that they're unwilling to.

00:18:11.940 And that's fine. But say that, yeah, it's better. It's better to tell yourself the truth.

00:18:17.460 And the truth is not that I don't have time. The truth is I'm not going to make time to do that.

00:18:22.560 That's why when people in the podcast have asked me about, are you going to start like with a

00:18:26.600 traditional bow? I don't say, I don't have time to do that. I say, I'm not going to make extra time

00:18:32.420 or carve out time out of my day to engage in that activity. Cause that's the truth.

00:18:37.060 It's not that I don't have the time to do it. I got 24 hours a day that I could do it,

00:18:40.560 but I don't choose to allocate any of the 24 hours a day towards that activity. And that is the truth.

00:18:47.140 That's the more accurate statement. So you, we've got to be very, very careful about BSing ourselves

00:18:52.660 because we're really, really good at it. And we're so good at it that it's become conditioned in,

00:18:58.840 ingrained into the way that we communicate. And that's why it's important. I think is it Jordan

00:19:03.580 Peterson who says, be precise with your words. That's why you need to be precise with your words

00:19:09.940 so that you're a communicating the right message to others and be not lying to yourself and not

00:19:14.960 making excuses about things that you say you want to have in your life. Yeah. And, and a good example

00:19:22.180 or a good exercise for everybody listening is just look at any scenario where someone invited you to

00:19:27.540 something and your reply in almost all cases, you'll say, Oh, I can't, I have blah, right? Well,

00:19:34.500 that's not completely accurate, right? That's not what you're saying. What you're saying is

00:19:38.940 this is a higher priority. I have a previous commitment or something like that. And, and I

00:19:45.040 think there's huge power in being intentional with how we explain things. Well, you're doing it to hedge,

00:19:49.860 hedge the blow, right? So if you invited me to something, Kip would be like, Oh, I can't,

00:19:53.620 cause I have this thing. Well, I'm not, I'm, I might be actually doing that selflessly, right?

00:19:58.960 Cause I'm trying to spare your feelings. Yeah. But in the meantime, I'm lying.

00:20:04.040 And ironically, are you sparing my feelings? No, I'm still going, huh? That's a higher priority.

00:20:10.880 And then depending on whether I agree with it being a higher priority, not, well,

00:20:15.440 I'll fill that blow anyway. So it doesn't matter what kind of language you use. You might as well

00:20:19.460 been intentional with it and accurate. One thing that I really, one time you came to Utah and didn't

00:20:24.220 come train, you know, very similar. Exactly. Exactly. And I told you why I'm like, I'm going

00:20:28.940 to do this instead. And, and I went and I thought, actually I understand that. And that is a higher

00:20:35.660 priority. Yes. Totally. Because you're a reasonable human being, but there's plenty of people who are

00:20:41.280 not reasonable. And that's why people do that. Um, one of the practices that I've tried to get very

00:20:46.740 good at lately and just practice. Cause it's really hard is people will reach out to me for

00:20:52.140 either so that I can go on their podcast or they can come on our podcast. And I've really been

00:21:00.160 intentional about in my response back to them, simply saying, no, we will pass this time.

00:21:06.140 That's hard. Instead of coming up with an excuse, like, no, like we're, we're, we're busy. And I

00:21:12.240 don't know, like, no, no, thank you. But I appreciate the request send. That's really hard

00:21:19.720 to do, but that's a good practice to get into. I think. Yeah. It's super tough. Yeah. Don't come

00:21:24.440 up with the excuses after. Yeah. Okay. So the other aspect of this, what would you say to individuals,

00:21:30.560 guys that are in the iron council, they have good intentions. We've seen this all the time. Like I

00:21:34.960 even thought about this from, and maybe I even shouldn't bring this up. Cause I don't, we haven't

00:21:40.280 really talked about it, but you know, we provide discounts if you're a vet or someone has a buddy

00:21:46.700 and they want to sponsor them and have them a member of the IC. Why don't you talk to kind of

00:21:51.640 your thoughts around that? Because that's very relate, very much related. And I think there's

00:21:55.900 a lot of insights and opinions that you have there that might benefit. We don't allow sponsorships of

00:22:01.020 outside members to come into the iron council. And the reason that we don't is because if an

00:22:06.480 individual is unable or incapable of investing in themselves, then in our experience, their

00:22:15.900 performance inside of the iron council is going to be jeopardized and it's not going to be beneficial

00:22:21.220 for them. It's not going to be beneficial for the rest of the members. We're only as strong as our

00:22:24.980 weakest link. And again, I realized some people are not in the financial position to do it.

00:22:30.100 That's okay. You're then you're not in the position to be a member of the iron council. I have no

00:22:34.420 qualms about that at all. The reason that there's that barrier to entry of the $67 a month,

00:22:39.600 which might be a little or might be a lot, depending on where you are, is to a degree,

00:22:43.660 we know at least you're willing to invest in yourself. And that says something about you.

00:22:48.820 If you if you if you don't want to invest the $67, what makes me believe that you want to invest time

00:22:55.700 into implementing what we're teaching about? If you can't invest the $67, you're strapped for time as it

00:23:03.000 is because you're working and you're living paycheck to paycheck and you are incapable of

00:23:08.220 investing time into doing the work inside the iron council. That's it. That's the that's the only

00:23:15.380 reason. Now, the exception that we make to that is that if there is a an existing member of the iron

00:23:21.620 council who has fallen upon maybe some financial hardship or or whatever, and his team decides to

00:23:29.400 sponsor him for anywhere from a month to two or three months, we will we will honor that request

00:23:35.840 because that individual at least made an initial commitment to invest. He proved to his team and to

00:23:42.640 us that he's willing to invest in himself. And what he's going through right now might be a temporary

00:23:46.920 setback. I would not allow that and authorize that indefinitely. But for a period of one to two,

00:23:52.620 three months tops, yes, we would do that for an existing member of the iron council.

00:23:57.700 Yeah. I would like to share an example of this. And I've mentioned this in the past, I believe,

00:24:05.140 where when I first started doing jujitsu, I was I was doing a punch pass. And I would go like

00:24:11.040 two, three, four times a month, max, it was enough to get beat up. And then when I moved to New York,

00:24:17.400 I went into Vitor Shaolin's gym, I was told to go there, like everyone told me like you got to

00:24:22.580 train with Shaolin. So I went to Shaolin's. And, you know, the class was great. I was interested,

00:24:28.000 I wanted to sign up. And I said, Oh, do you have a punch pass? And he's like, Oh, no, you're committed

00:24:34.500 to doing jujitsu or you're not. And the price tag is going to be x. And the and the amount was

00:24:41.820 substantial, like way different than I was used to paying in Utah, right? Utah rates of jujitsu,

00:24:47.340 membership versus New York, where the gyms in Times Square area of Manhattan, it's going to be

00:24:54.240 expensive. The difference, though, I trained all the time, all the time. Why? Because I is invest I

00:25:02.660 had something on the line, I had a lot of money on the line. And I wasn't going to waste the time and

00:25:08.960 the money and the research that I was putting into, you know, this membership. So it forced me to get on

00:25:13.700 the court because I made an investment. Same thing happens in the iron council. If guys are not

00:25:18.920 like, I would even argue, and maybe you would agree with this, Ryan, and not that we're doing

00:25:23.840 this. So no one freak out. But if you change iron council membership from 67 to let's say $200 a month,

00:25:30.940 and then you waited six months, I would probably guess the caliber and the commitment and the

00:25:38.600 involvement of guys in the IC would be drastically. Oh, I'm sure it would. I'm sure it would. And in

00:25:44.440 turn, the effectiveness of that community would be drastically different. It's really, really

00:25:50.880 interesting how when when you have a lot of stakes in the game and things change, consulting is the

00:25:57.660 same way. I laugh all the time, where we we are brought into a company to provide guidance and

00:26:04.780 direction around business process and systems. And they 100% listen to us. They may have employees

00:26:11.440 that have been telling them the same thing for the last 20 years, but they didn't consider those

00:26:16.780 ideas. It's when they put money on the table, have a consultant come in all of a sudden, everyone's

00:26:22.120 like all ears. We better do what this guy tells us to do because we're throwing money into it.

00:26:27.020 And so value for sure. Yeah. Proceed value. So, so critical.

00:26:30.740 And sorry for the sun, for you guys that are watching on YouTube here, I'm getting like

00:26:36.120 knowing the sun is like angelic glow to you today, Kip. Yeah. Well, but you're getting more of a sun

00:26:42.740 off your side of your head, which is, I don't know, equally kind of wow factor there. Okay.

00:26:49.640 Josh Hubbler tricks for people you work with who are on the same level as you that do not take 0.94

00:26:56.380 ownership of their mistakes or are hypocritical and patronizing. Is that your job? Same level as you

00:27:03.940 meaning, uh, equal worker, but they have this kind of mentality. So what? Cool. That means you'll get

00:27:10.600 the promotion before them. And we get wrapped up into things that aren't really, that's not fair.

00:27:17.340 Yeah. It just shouldn't be a concern of ours. So what? So some guy dinks off. Let's say he,

00:27:23.420 well, let's say worst case scenario, he gets a promotion before you and he's a slacker.

00:27:27.620 Do you, do you not? Do you, so do you think slacking is the way to go then? No, you know,

00:27:32.060 that principally that working hard and being diligent and getting your job done and not

00:27:37.880 shirking responsibility and not making excuses is inevitably going to pay off. This is all about

00:27:43.580 the long game. So be influential, uh, do your work to the best of your ability. Know that through

00:27:50.640 that consistent effort that it's going to pay off. But if a guy doesn't want to be led to behave

00:27:56.760 differently, to do something different, to improve, to, to get better at his job, what are you going to

00:28:01.720 do about it? Nothing. And what you're, what you end up doing is taking your time and energy, speaking

00:28:06.720 of resources and directing it towards something you have no control over. And then what happens to

00:28:11.320 your work? It goes to hell because you didn't take the time like you were before to invest in what

00:28:16.740 you could control yourself. And you instead directed it to somebody who you could not control

00:28:21.700 and your work suffered because of it. Yeah. Or if you're really emotionally pissed off,

00:28:27.000 then you compromise your integrity and not do your job because he's not doing his job. And now it's

00:28:33.440 about like equal, I don't know what even the term you would use for it, like collective laziness,

00:28:39.660 because he's being lazy and why should I have to do it? If he's not doing like all that kind of

00:28:44.000 crazy, we call it social process. Yeah. That's, that's the term for it. But yeah, just do your

00:28:50.340 work, man. Do it well and let the chips fall where they may. Everything will work out. There you go.

00:28:56.180 That looks better. Is that better? Yeah. Okay. Roger Taylor prioritize and execute is one of the main

00:29:03.400 strategies from Jocko and Leif Babin's book dichotomy of leadership. They point out that sometimes you can

00:29:09.500 get target fixation and fail to see when your priorities emerge and when you have to adjust.

00:29:15.080 Do you have any suggestions for figuring out when you should step back and reevaluate when you're

00:29:20.920 not achieving the results that you would like? Yeah. You know, look at it on a grand scale and, and,

00:29:28.100 and also consider the long game, which, which Jocko would, would say as well as like, well, you know,

00:29:35.080 you can win the battle, but did you win the war, right? It's important to win the war battles are

00:29:39.540 important. I'm not going to lie. You got to win the battles too, but they're less significant than

00:29:43.560 the war itself, which is the mission, right? So if you get so hyper fixated on one thing that you

00:29:49.360 jeopardize the entire mission, then that's a problem. So keep your eye on the long game, keep your eye on

00:29:55.620 the prize, look at the results, do your after action reviews to analyze whether or not your behaviors and

00:30:01.920 your actions and your results are moving you towards the completion of that objective. And

00:30:07.000 if they're not, then step back, give yourself a 30,000 foot view, look at it from a different

00:30:12.040 perspective and ask yourself what needs to be done now to get back on track or to fix what maybe we

00:30:17.300 messed up. So again, long game mission first, which is a principle he would attest to as well.

00:30:24.200 And then you can start worrying about what battles need to be won in order to complete the overall

00:30:28.600 objective and mission. Yeah. So what I'm hearing in summary is, is don't lose sight of the long game

00:30:35.460 and the mission and look for strategies, maybe on a regular basis of how you're constantly

00:30:40.740 reconnecting with the mission and the, and the long game to make sure that you're not getting

00:30:44.940 target fixation. If you're trying to be proactive, right? Right. You're right. So, so I'll give you an

00:30:49.780 example with, with, uh, one thing that an initiative that we've started over the past little while with

00:30:54.540 order of man is to be very active on YouTube. Right. So what I do when I put up videos is we

00:31:00.180 look at the performance of those videos and I can see that, you know, one does really, really well

00:31:03.740 and the other does not so great. So do I fixate on the one that doesn't do so well and like try to

00:31:08.760 adjust it and fix it and tweak it and, and, and explain to everybody why they should listen to it

00:31:13.620 and why they should watch it. Like, do I get fixated on that one failing thing or do I just simply

00:31:19.800 learn the lesson and say, Oh, okay, well, here's what I learned from that. Don't do that next time.

00:31:23.260 And, and implement new strategies into the grand perspective of things and focus on what is going

00:31:28.560 well. Now scale out even further than that. I look at YouTube and think, okay, is this moving the

00:31:34.640 needle in the right direction right now? Our YouTube channel is blowing up. I mean, we're really close

00:31:39.780 to a hundred thousand subscribers at this point when I think 45 days ago ish, somewhere right around

00:31:45.600 there. Uh, we were at 42,000. So we've doubled in the last month, month and a half. Thanks by the way,

00:31:52.120 guys. Yes, we do appreciate the support over there for sure. Uh, I have to look at that and

00:31:57.520 ask myself continually, is this something that is moving the overall objective and mission

00:32:02.320 to where we want to go? Because if it isn't, then why would I pour my time, energy resources into the

00:32:08.400 thing that's not actually helping us produce results? I'm trying to think if there's something

00:32:12.520 that we've done in the past that ended up being something that really didn't move the needle.

00:32:19.000 I can't really think of anything, but there's been, I know there's been things and they must

00:32:25.600 have been minor cause I can't think of them right offhand that I'm like, Oh, that didn't work.

00:32:30.020 Yeah. That didn't help you. Cut ties, move on to something else. Yeah. I have that main thing on

00:32:36.760 the, on the, on the horizon that you're looking at. I have an example of this that I think is a

00:32:41.000 little bit hard and it's from a position of, of leadership within the organization in which I work

00:32:47.780 where it's really tempting to get in the weeds on a project. And, and, and let me just use kind of

00:32:54.800 use the term that those projects are fires, right? Like they're media and important. Stephen Covey in

00:32:59.940 his four quadrants, these are urgent and important items, but there's things that are important that

00:33:05.060 are not urgent. And if I spend all my time in urgent and important, I will never touch the

00:33:11.580 important and not urgent items. And eventually when we don't address those items, fires and chaos,

00:33:18.340 we will eventually assume, right? If I'm in the trenches with my team and we're kicking ass and

00:33:22.960 every project is a huge success and we're just doing an amazing job, then eventually all of a sudden I

00:33:28.440 have a guy that goes, Hey, I'm leaving the company and I'm going to somewhere else. Why?

00:33:31.600 Because I feel undervalued because I, you know, you haven't stepped back and made sure that the

00:33:38.200 culture was good, that the team environment was good, that these other things that also make my

00:33:43.940 employment here highly rewarding. You didn't worry about those because you were so worried about the

00:33:48.320 projects. Right. So I have to constantly, because both are both important. Both things are equally

00:33:54.080 important, but sometimes I have to say, okay, I need to delegate for these urgent items so I can remove

00:34:00.400 myself or I have to accept the fact that like, I don't have maybe control over it. I can't be on

00:34:06.900 every project. I can't make sure every project is perfect. I have to trust my guys and let them

00:34:11.880 move forward on those. So then that way I can step back and, and focus on the long game.

00:34:17.300 Yeah. I mean, we saw this in the financial planning field all the time. I would meet with clients who had

00:34:21.480 an underperforming portfolio, for example, and I would sit down and I'd look at their portfolio and

00:34:26.740 analyze it and review it. And I'd say, this is, this portfolio is very inefficient. It's an

00:34:31.340 ineffective investment portfolio. I'm like, well, we know it's down 30% right now, 20%. We're just

00:34:37.420 waiting until we get back to even to change it. It's like, that's a bad idea. What you're doing is

00:34:43.460 you're chasing bad money with good. Yeah. Like rat race. Right. And you, you just want to recoup.

00:34:50.480 In the time that it takes you to recoup with an ineffective and inefficient portfolio,

00:34:54.260 what if instead we put it into an effective portfolio? Could we actually get there in half

00:34:59.260 the time, a third of the time? Maybe. So is it in your best interest to chase and pursue things that

00:35:06.260 aren't working just to like force a square peg into a round hole? Of course not. And yet our emotions get

00:35:13.020 in the way egos too, right? Like, Oh, if I, if this project fails, then I'm a failure. No, it just means

00:35:20.060 that project failed. It didn't work. You're a failure. If you allow it to define you and you

00:35:25.680 keep chasing a project that isn't work, that's insanity. So cut your ties, focus on the big

00:35:30.920 picture, prioritize and execute, move on to things that are going to be more effective.

00:35:36.620 Joel Garcia, a close friend of mine struggles with his wife as she seems, uh, as she reams him out for

00:35:44.620 not stepping up where he needs to. I have brought up how he can be more capable and more proactive

00:35:49.800 man and sources that he can look into, but he dismisses it thinking everybody is equal and that

00:35:55.240 relationships are more about matching psychological profiles instead of the expectation of a man and

00:36:01.840 a woman. I'd be crushed to see his family split. How do I help him or show him how to step up?

00:36:08.300 Guys, we're not superheroes. It's not your job to rescue everybody.

00:36:15.840 And it won't work most of the time, by the way. In fact, they'll reject it. This goes back to what

00:36:19.840 we're saying earlier. The harder you push, the greater wedge you drive between him and you

00:36:23.280 be an example, be a shining beacon of what it means to be a man and how he shows up in his family and

00:36:30.340 leads his wife and leads his children and engages in his community and grows within his business.

00:36:35.660 And if he solicits you for advice or you feel like you have something to share,

00:36:39.920 share it and then just let the chips fall where they may. The guy, you just said the guy's not

00:36:45.420 interested. So knock it off. Just continue to be the light. Now, if you have somebody who comes to

00:36:52.240 you and says, Joel, you know, I, I see what you're doing in your business and your family. And I really

00:36:57.100 admire and respect what you're doing. I'm having some struggles with my relationship. Would you mind

00:37:00.640 giving me some advice? Of course, engage with that individual, help him, like tell him what,

00:37:07.020 you know, give him books to read, have him listen to the podcast, invite him to join the iron council,

00:37:12.160 all of these things. But if somebody has just proven they're not interested, then just be a

00:37:17.040 friend. Like you can be a friend to this guy without being his superhero. It's not what he wants from

00:37:24.360 you. So just be friendly with him, invite him to barbecues, invite him to family outings,

00:37:30.580 you know, train with him, hold him accountable if that's what he's looking for. And maybe at some

00:37:36.720 point he'll see the light and maybe he won't, but that's not for you to dictate.

00:37:42.700 Yeah. And I do have to say this. I mean, I think Joel's question and guys that struggle with this,

00:37:48.880 Ryan, I think comes from a place of caring, right?

00:37:50.980 I know it does. We want the best for these guys. So I totally get that. And that sucks. I mean,

00:37:56.140 I've had guys in my life that I completely care for that. I want the best for them. And I've tried

00:38:01.380 the same thing and it sucks because you feel like you're leaving them behind. You, you see what's

00:38:07.240 possible. You see the kind of man that they can become. You see their capability of, or opportunities

00:38:13.320 that they can embrace to become better. But like you said, I mean, you can't force it and it,

00:38:19.180 and it kind of stinks. Cause you can see you, all you do is, is be a great example and,

00:38:24.740 and provide some insights to your actions. And then you ultimately have to step back and let

00:38:28.920 them decide. And it's just tough.

00:38:30.580 Yeah, it is. It's unfortunate, but there's, it's not your battle.

00:38:34.620 Yeah.

00:38:35.600 It's just, it's an unfortunate situation. That's it.

00:38:39.120 Yeah. Lighthouse. I mean, I call it this, this idea, this, like the Superman syndrome. Like I see

00:38:45.240 so many guys thinking, you know, they had these boyhood dreams of being a superhero and rescuing

00:38:50.640 the damsel in distress and the people who were in bad situations. And then it's like, they,

00:38:55.560 they evolved, but they never grew out of that way of thinking. So now they're not like,

00:39:00.060 I'm the actual superhero. They're just trying to run around and rescue everybody they possibly can.

00:39:04.260 Cool. I can really appreciate your level of empathy and desire to help other people. But

00:39:11.320 what if you poured all of that into people who actually wanted to be helped?

00:39:17.160 Yeah. It's interesting, Ryan, do you feel sometimes that the people that, I mean, if we use your

00:39:23.780 superhero analogy here, that most people that you end up quote unquote rescuing are sometimes people

00:39:30.480 that you don't even know. And those that do know you are the very ones that, that, uh, probably

00:39:37.080 may not get as much influence. Does it make sense? Like, it's, it's shocking. Like since my involvement

00:39:42.640 with the podcast and stuff, I'm constantly amazed of people I don't know reaching out and leaving

00:39:48.240 comments and saying, you guys are changing my life or whatever. But, but yet my best buddy from,

00:39:54.880 you know, the last 15 years sees no value or is not even on the same page as me.

00:40:01.640 Yeah. But again, that's not your responsibility. And I get that. It's not, but it's just interesting

00:40:06.080 that the guy that I know is influenced, right? I think what would be worse. Well, part of the

00:40:11.580 reason Kip that might be is because your buddy knows the 20 year old version of yourself. Yeah.

00:40:16.440 He knows the real Kip. Yeah. Right. So he knows the guy that used to drink or used to, you know,

00:40:20.720 get into trouble and get into fights and was inappropriate and immature, whatever. And I'm not saying

00:40:24.400 those are just examples just to clarify. Right. But that's the Kip he knew. So he's like,

00:40:30.000 what's this guy going to tell me about what it means to be a man. But somebody who listens to the

00:40:33.760 podcast, they don't know my faults. They don't know your faults. Cause we paint ourselves. Let's

00:40:37.880 be honest in the best light we possibly can. And we try not to sometimes we're like, Hey,

00:40:41.800 this is our opinion. We're not perfect. So right. We try to be real about who it is we are, but

00:40:47.500 come on, let's be honest. Like we, we buy microphones to improve the sound quality and we make sure that

00:40:53.740 what's behind us is painting the right picture. And, you know, I know you don't do that, but I do

00:40:59.800 that. So it's, it's like people, these, the people who listen to the podcast don't know us. And so

00:41:07.600 therefore they don't know our faults. So they think we're better than we really are. And maybe in a way

00:41:12.080 put us on a pedestal. We don't belong. I think that, I think the, the bigger travesty is when you're

00:41:19.600 trying and you're out there and you're helping people and you have kids at home who don't even

00:41:23.540 know you. Cause that is your responsibility. Yeah. Right. So I see so many guys who get into

00:41:31.680 business and they're doing good things and they're blowing up their businesses and they're

00:41:34.700 creating jobs and they're, they're helping people and they're serving a need. And yet their children

00:41:39.340 don't know them like shame on you. Yeah. You brought children into this world deliberately and

00:41:44.800 intentionally. And now you're going to neglect them for your own selfish ambitions. Not good.

00:41:50.640 Yeah. Reminds me of a quote or a statement that Jordan Peterson made about how being public servants

00:41:56.820 and providing impact and, and change for other people that, that you should have your own house

00:42:02.760 taken care of first, that you are in no position to be providing value to other individuals. If you

00:42:07.360 haven't addressed that internally, which we're working on it at least working on. And I like that

00:42:12.380 analogy. I actually liked that clarification that you just said, at least working out, we're on the

00:42:16.780 path. Because not even Jordan Peterson has everything locked down in his home. Exactly. And this is tough.

00:42:21.180 I'm totally going off topic here, but, but hopefully it's valuable is that's what makes this tough.

00:42:27.820 Even for me, for instance, I'll, I'll be completely vulnerable here. You know, Asia and I got in a fight

00:42:33.820 like last week or something, and it bothered being probably more than normal because I'm on this podcast

00:42:41.440 with you. And we talk about relationships and the importance of, you know, how you show up at your

00:42:49.020 home and, and to your wife and your kids. And it add more pressure to the fact of like, why in the hell

00:42:55.580 are we having an argument? I should have my shit to get like, it even made it a little bit more stressful 0.99

00:43:01.140 for me because of this platform that I'm involved in versus if I wasn't. And it was, is a really 0.98

00:43:08.120 interesting. And I, and I actually meant to bring it up and say, you know, am I alone here? Do you

00:43:13.320 see this for yourself as well? Sometimes I don't ever fight with my wife. So because he's perfect

00:43:19.720 and he has a perfect background right now on the webcam. Yeah, man, this, this is good. This is an

00:43:25.700 added level of accountability for you and me. And, and she'll be, she'll be quick. My wife will be

00:43:31.800 quick to remind me when it's like, Whoa, what, what, you know, what would you tell the guys?

00:43:37.940 So it's good. It's a lot. It's, it's uncomfortable at times, but it's certainly a level of accountability

00:43:43.000 that I didn't expect when we started and launched order of man. Yeah. It's tough. And, and, and I

00:43:48.680 would assume this is, this shows up for guys that are battle team leaders within our council,

00:43:53.300 right? It should. We have members, we have leaderships. Yeah. And when you're a battle team

00:43:57.940 leader, it's like, okay, well you, I can't be calling out a guy on the team saying, Hey,

00:44:02.200 why aren't you getting your physical activities in and working out? If, if my diet sucks and I'm

00:44:08.080 not hitting the gym, like that doesn't work. Well, I mean, we were talking about superheroes

00:44:12.120 earlier. If you talk about, you know, Spider-Man and I think, I think, uh, his uncle or whatever

00:44:17.180 said with great power comes great responsibility, right? So if you are in a leadership authority type

00:44:23.000 position, then you have a responsibility to manage yourself. Yeah. And, and, and I think

00:44:27.740 we've done podcasts over and over again about this, about fixing yourself first, fix yourself first,

00:44:33.140 fix yourself first. Then you can start fixing the environment around you. Yeah. Cool. What else we

00:44:39.540 got? All right. Nick Berger. I read an article recently regarding Maine becoming the eighth state

00:44:44.720 to legalize death with dignity, internal, uh, in turn, in turning points on both sides and curious on

00:44:52.060 both of your opinions. If a man has a diagnosed of a certain mentor physical, uh, scenario,

00:44:57.320 is it noble to end his life, saving his family, the financial caretaking burden, or is, or is he

00:45:02.880 cheating them out of the life-changing experience of watching a loved one fight until the ultimate

00:45:07.960 main event? We do not find it ethical to let animals suffer yet. We take different stances on

00:45:14.540 humans. Also Ryan, do you feel pressured to buy a Subaru to fit in with all the other mainers?

00:45:20.520 Do mainers have Subarus? I don't know. I haven't noticed any. Uh, well, of course we treat humans

00:45:28.000 different than animals. Humans are more valuable than, than animals are. That'll make people mad, 0.90

00:45:33.640 but that's the truth. So yes, of course we treat them differently. I'm trying to think of death with

00:45:39.840 dignity. I, I wouldn't participate in that. I don't know if I have an opinion because I really don't

00:45:46.640 know much about it on whether or not it's ethical or moral or legal or whatever, but I don't, I don't

00:45:53.980 know that I would participate in it. You know, I'm trying to think of like in, in my own personal

00:45:58.700 circumstance, like the most difficult circumstance, if my wife was in that situation, I wouldn't, I

00:46:05.880 wouldn't do that. Now, if she was being, being maintained on life support and there was a very

00:46:11.980 little possibility, if any, that she would ever recover from that, then she is expressly told me

00:46:17.300 that she doesn't want to live on life support. That's not me doing any death with dignity type

00:46:22.000 thing. That's just me not keeping her life through artificial means. But I also have an internal

00:46:27.240 perspective on, on our experience of, of, of consciousness and being alive. Right. So like,

00:46:34.600 this isn't just about life. Right. Right. So, um, my thought is that I'm not going to participate

00:46:43.080 in taking somebody's life because it's challenging in some way, but I'll leave that for you to decide

00:46:52.580 if it is or not. Yeah. It's, it's interesting though. Like I see where Nick is coming from.

00:46:58.660 I do too. Here's my take. What, what lesson would you be robbing yourself from

00:47:07.840 through pulling the plug early and not dealing and pushing through until ultimate death?

00:47:18.900 Well, I think there's a difference. I don't, I think we better distinguish because we're not

00:47:22.340 talking about pulling the plug. Yeah. I thought about it once I said that word,

00:47:26.200 I shouldn't have used that analogy, but you know what I mean?

00:47:28.180 I know what you're saying. I just want to make sure we make whatever experience it is. Right.

00:47:32.760 There is some value to that, right? Like you could become even a better person through that

00:47:38.160 experience right before death. And I think that you might be robbing yourself of, of that opportunity

00:47:44.060 to grow at, at that time. I don't think it's your decision to make. If somebody has expressly

00:47:52.640 communicated to you that they want to die with dignity, then, then you're going to have to be the

00:47:57.020 one to do it. Why are you going to, why is somebody going to put that on you?

00:48:01.980 Yeah. You see what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? Yeah, for sure. I'm like,

00:48:05.100 if somebody comes to me and says, I'm in pain and I'm in, and I just want to die. I'm 80 years old.

00:48:09.880 I just want to die with dignity. Okay. Then do what you have to do. But why would you put that on

00:48:15.380 somebody else's shoulders? That's not their responsibility. It's not even their place. 0.90

00:48:19.360 But I'm thinking for the individual that, that might be tempted to say, Hey, I want to die with

00:48:24.680 dignity. That individual has an opportunity to still learn and grow and progress as an individual

00:48:29.320 if they're willing to drudge through the suffering that might exist for them.

00:48:35.180 Yeah. But I think they're probably in a lot of ways doing it for, for selfless reasons as well,

00:48:40.140 like to spare their family, the heartache of what it's going to, what they're going to experience.

00:48:43.640 I mean, there's so much, there's so much here that it's not like, yes, that's good. Or no,

00:48:47.600 that's bad. It's like, I don't know. Like, it's just an interesting philosophical question.

00:48:52.580 And on the surface, I would choose not to engage in that, but I'd have to think on it a whole lot

00:48:57.880 more. Yeah. And Ryan's going to sell his truck for a Subaru. Jason Clark. I did get some new snow

00:49:06.880 tires though. You're ready. I bet it's colder in Utah than it is. It was 60, 69 degrees yesterday

00:49:15.160 out here. Yeah. It was like 30 yesterday. Right. Oh, it was brutal. All right. Jason said it was

00:49:21.320 going to be cold in Maine. I'm like, what are you talking about? Whatever. That line's still going

00:49:25.300 for a morning swim. That's right, man. Jason Clark. I believe it would be valuable to discuss

00:49:31.520 the timeline. It's taking you both to make the changes you've set out via your battle plan.

00:49:38.040 Reiterate that significant change takes significant consistency and significant time.

00:49:42.620 Yeah. He actually, I was on the phone with Jason the other day and he actually talked to me about

00:49:46.820 this and I thought it was really valuable because, and I, and I made a Facebook and an Instagram post

00:49:50.760 about how long it's taken me. You know, I've, I've been on this path specifically for, for 10 years,

00:49:57.540 like this path that I'm on for 10 years. And it's taken me to get to where I am today. I still have a

00:50:02.340 long way to go, but you're saying a, a general path of becoming a better man. This is, is a deliberate

00:50:08.120 path. I should say. I see. Okay. Right. It's like deliberately. Okay. How do I improve myself

00:50:12.840 as a father, as a husband, a community leader, a business owner? How do I improve my abilities to do

00:50:19.800 that for 10 years? And I, again, it's still got a long ways to go. We spend decades, 10, 20, 30, 50,

00:50:28.340 60 years getting ourselves. I should say behaving ourselves into a certain circumstance, our life.

00:50:37.460 And when you want to change, you want it to happen overnight. I, like I, I used to be this individual

00:50:43.120 and now I don't want to be that individual anymore. So I'm going to do these things for two weeks and

00:50:46.180 then I'll be better. No, man. Decades of, of abuse and, and, and struggle and pain and making the

00:50:54.660 wrong choices and immorality and all of the other things that you want to fight against that takes

00:51:00.020 years of cleanup too. Yeah. So you're going to have to really exert yourself over long and sustained

00:51:07.240 periods of time. This is not like 90 day abs. This is like, what are you going to do for the rest of

00:51:13.040 your life to change who you are to, to remedy and rectify the man that you used to be. If you're in it

00:51:19.860 for the short game, we talked about this earlier. If you're in it for the short term, you might

00:51:23.380 experience short-term results, but you didn't create the foundational framework and, and bedrock

00:51:28.620 to do this thing for a lifetime, which is what is going to produce the, the, the sustained results.

00:51:35.740 So for me, it's taken 10 years of ups and downs and doing good and reverting back and fixing things

00:51:43.740 and making new mistakes. And, and like I talked to him last week's podcast, Friday field notes about,

00:51:49.340 uh, elevating my, my problems and getting over these minute problems and, and, and focusing on

00:51:55.540 bigger problems so that I could produce bigger results. Like it's just taken a very long time and

00:52:01.600 it will continue to take a long time and it doesn't ever go as fast as you'd like. And you don't ever

00:52:06.500 produce the results as quickly. Think about dieting, for example, how quick could you put on 10 pounds

00:52:11.300 and how much longer does it take to lose it? This is the nature of things. And, and if you're

00:52:15.980 unrealistic about that, then you're going to give up too soon because it's going to be unbearable

00:52:20.840 that you can't hit your objectives or the things that you want. So you could fool yourself and lie

00:52:25.720 to yourself and say, I'm going to do this in the next 90 days and then I'll be good. And I'll be

00:52:29.140 awesome. My marriage will be saved and my kids will like me and I'll have a promotion and, and you'll

00:52:35.860 feel good right now about that because you'll be motivated and inspired by that. But then it'll get

00:52:40.360 worse and worse and worse and worse every day that you don't meet that unrealistic expectation.

00:52:46.440 Or you could take a little pain right now and say, okay, this is going to take a lot of work.

00:52:52.320 This is going to take a long time. There's going to be ups and downs and struggles and bumps along the

00:52:57.180 way. I realize that I recognize that I understand that I acknowledge it. I accept it and maybe even

00:53:03.620 embrace it to a degree. And then as you go on your journey, it becomes easier and easier because

00:53:10.140 you've already acknowledged how difficult it will be. Don't be delusional about what it's going to

00:53:16.640 take because you're only setting yourself up for failure. I have to call out that there's a big

00:53:21.680 difference between an individual that is on the path of becoming a better person and the one that is

00:53:28.320 doing the same thing, but tracking, identifying objectives, maintaining tactics. Like those are

00:53:35.720 ones like at a way different scale than the other, right? We may have guys that are constantly working

00:53:40.980 on becoming better, but because they're not tracking and being highly super focused and intentional with

00:53:46.980 what are they going to do to do it? And are they doing it and constantly doing after action reviews?

00:53:51.580 I think there's a big difference between those two. Do you agree?

00:53:54.440 Well, I mean saying you want something and like generally having an idea about what it is and

00:54:00.900 how you're going to go about doing it is significantly inferior to knowing exactly what you want and

00:54:05.820 having a plan for getting it. Even if that plan isn't completely ironed out, having a plan and being

00:54:11.320 able to track it and, and, and having metrics to follow is infinitely better than, yeah, I just want to

00:54:19.280 get better. I think I'm going to work out. Yeah. I want to be a better dad. So like, I'm thinking

00:54:25.220 I'm going to do some things to be a better dad. Okay. Okay. I wish you luck. It's good. It's good

00:54:30.620 ambition. It's good intentions, but it ain't going to move the needle. Yeah. Yeah. And you know what?

00:54:37.060 Some guys just aren't, they're not to that stage yet. Right. So I try to be, I try to be aware of that.

00:54:44.280 Again, I think this just comes down to a level of maturity is if you've been down in the dumps for

00:54:51.300 40 years and nobody's ever taught you how to make a goal and every experience you've ever had with

00:54:59.620 anybody has been negative and people have beat you up and mocked you and ridiculed you and your

00:55:05.500 parents abused you mentally, physically, emotionally, sexually. Like that's a tall order is to say, well,

00:55:11.720 all you have to do is make a plan. Like just make a plan, like just make a 90 day plan and like have

00:55:17.580 an objective and then just do it. Like you'll be fine. That's what I used to think, but that's not,

00:55:22.840 that's not fair either because somebody who doesn't have some foundational knowledge is that's,

00:55:28.020 that's a tall order. That's an impossible task. It doesn't mean they're not capable of doing it.

00:55:33.420 It's just like, that's tough. Right. And, and exposure to good, good sources of information and

00:55:41.420 good people. And you have to build that, that framework before you can move on to the next

00:55:48.480 step and the next step and the next step and the next step. So this is a constant process of

00:55:51.920 evolution. That's why I talked about on that podcast is evolving your problems. Your problems

00:55:56.260 right now might be that you came from an abusive home and you're just trying to figure out how to

00:56:04.520 get a job or you were in prison for the last decade. And now you're a felon, a convicted felon,

00:56:12.280 and you can't, you can't secure employment anywhere. Legitimate. That's a problem. Yeah,

00:56:19.560 but that isn't, you're not going to go from that to solving world hunger. So your problem right now

00:56:26.840 is, okay, how do I secure a job? Okay. Well, maybe you're going to have to take a more menial,

00:56:31.820 menial work. Maybe you're going to have to make less money, right? There's all things, all kinds

00:56:36.080 of things that you could do now. Okay. Well, I got that now get a promotion within there or start a

00:56:40.160 little side business over here and see if you can grow that where your, your, uh, conviction status

00:56:45.080 doesn't, isn't as important. And so you start to elevate your problems, but you have to solve the

00:56:50.480 problem in front of you first before you move to the next complex problem. Copy. All right. We're

00:56:57.140 going to jump into our questions that were actually, you know what I'm thinking, Kip, what we'll do today

00:57:01.800 because we're bumping up on that hour mark. Okay. I think what we'll do is we'll save that for next

00:57:06.680 week and we'll get right into the Facebook questions. So these were all iron council questions

00:57:10.480 today. We got through all of those as well, at least. Okay. I think we should do that. And then

00:57:15.020 we'll do the Facebook questions next week. Sounds good. So on that note, um, the questions,

00:57:20.620 obviously iron council came from our exclusive brotherhood, the iron council to learn more

00:57:24.340 about that. That's order of man.com slash iron council. And then the questions that we'll cover

00:57:28.320 next week is from our Facebook group, facebook.com slash group slash order of man. It's, um, it's a

00:57:36.220 private group, so you'll have to go in and request access, but, uh, please join us there if you

00:57:41.200 haven't already. And of course, like your name and profile pick, then we'll invite you.

00:57:45.020 If we don't, we won't. And then if you're an idiot and you post stupid questions, we'll kick you out. 1.00

00:57:49.560 That's just that way it goes. So be ready. Don't be an idiot. Right. Am I wrong? Uh, I don't know 1.00

00:57:58.360 if it's idiot, but I think, I think one of the rules is don't be a dick. I think that is actually 1.00

00:58:02.920 one of the official rules in the Facebook group, which is really interesting because there's plenty

00:58:07.980 of men in there who can't follow a simple rule like that. But, uh, we do our best to keep it civil and

00:58:13.940 keep it relevant. Yeah. But there's a lot of guys in there. So it's, it is a task.

00:58:19.780 We have a good team helping us out. Yeah, for sure. All right. So we events, we have the legacy

00:58:26.280 event next year, June 11th through the 14th to learn more that's order of man.com slash legacy.

00:58:33.160 This is a father and young man event through the ages of eight through 15. It's an amazing experience.

00:58:39.880 Uh, one of our favorites now, I would even say over uprising. I, I, I, I, it's way better

00:58:46.200 than uprising. It's so cool. It is. Uprising has its place. No doubt. It's just not as rewarding

00:58:53.640 or fulfilling as the legacy event. Yeah. So if you have a young man that you want to, um,

00:58:59.040 kind of experience a little bit of a rites of passage and what it means to be a man and

00:59:03.320 to be pushed and, and to have a weekend of growth, learn more at order of man.com slash

00:59:10.440 legacy. And of course you guys can support the podcast by subscribing to the actual podcast

00:59:15.880 itself or the YouTube channel or represent and look good at the same time by going to

00:59:20.020 the store at store.order of man.com and, and get your guys's shirts, how it's wallets.

00:59:26.580 Are there wallets left? I joke around with my kids. You'll like this. I tell the boys, I'm

00:59:30.720 like, I'm like, man, I just got extra money. And they're like, what do you mean? I'm like,

00:59:34.160 I held my wallet up and it said order of man and an extra 20 came out of the ATM.

00:59:41.020 And then I go through the drive-through and I'm like, they're like, Oh, that'll be so-and-so. And

00:59:45.340 I pull the card out and I hold my wallet up as I give them the card. And I'm like, I see.

00:59:48.740 And they give you a discount. Discounts. Yeah. So there's built-in discounts everywhere you go.

00:59:52.140 You just splash that. Don't say that, man. People, somebody will actually hold me to that.

00:59:56.680 There's a lot of people who, uh, how would it be that you do it?

01:00:00.400 One time and someone goes, Hey, order of man. And they actually do give you a discount because

01:00:05.580 they listen to the podcast. Well, one of the challenge, we should try that. One of the

01:00:09.020 challenges we did in the iron council a long time ago is I think we were doing communication or

01:00:14.000 negotiation was the topic. And the challenge was for, for the day or for the week to ask for a

01:00:20.620 discount at every place you spent money. Just, just to get uncomfortable. Yep. Was the idea.

01:00:26.960 Yeah. So it's like, if you went to buy a clothes, like, Hey, do you have a discount? If you went to

01:00:31.900 McDonald's and got, uh, uh, you know, a McMuffin or whatever, Hey, do you have any discounts that I

01:00:37.960 can, that you can apply to that? And you had to ask for a discount wherever you went. And a lot of

01:00:42.700 people got a lot of discounts. They didn't expect they would. That's funny. That's really funny.

01:00:47.080 Hey, speaking of, uh, Oh, go ahead. No, you're good. No, I was just, it was a funny story. It

01:00:51.440 just reminds me of, of my daughters. They're so oblivious to things and they get discounts and

01:00:56.180 free objects on the regular basis. Like people are like, Oh, they're so cute. And they give them

01:01:00.040 stuff. Oh yeah. And, uh, we went skiing. They get, we come down to the lodge, they get in the line for

01:01:05.120 food, like them. And they're like two little friends and they just go through the whole line and

01:01:10.340 they get to the thing. And they're like, uh, that'd be so much money. And they're like, Oh, we don't have

01:01:14.560 money. Did they get it? Yeah. And they're like, ah, go ahead. Sit down. I'm like, what? They just

01:01:21.840 got in line and just asked for some chow, you know, get a burger and fries. And they're like,

01:01:26.500 Oh, we didn't realize it costs something. Super funny. Women learning to work the system. 1.00

01:01:32.400 Totally. All right. Check these out. We're speaking of clothes. Kip, you're going to like

01:01:36.020 these. Can you see these? I saw a post. I'm showing you my underwear. Those of you guys who want

01:01:42.000 to know what my underwear look like, you can go to YouTube, but, uh, yeah, I can contest.

01:01:47.860 I am not wearing them however, so you're safe. Um, yeah. Origin just came out with, uh, with, uh,

01:01:55.680 what they call under gear. And here's a pair. I've got four pair over there. Here's the, uh,

01:02:03.100 we, the people one, I believe that this is, or don't tread on me. I can't remember what it says on

01:02:06.680 it. Uh, right. Uh, what is it? Oh, right. To keep and bear arms. That's what it says.

01:02:12.940 Right. To keep and bear arms. It's pretty sweet. Check that out. At originmain.com. Use the code

01:02:19.900 order. You'll get a discount, but that's their under here. Peter, Brian made a post and, and, uh,

01:02:24.960 of those on Instagram. And I was instantly like, Oh, let me save that. I just got some yesterday. So

01:02:30.420 yeah. All right, guys. Increase your manhood. Absolutely. Yep. Absolutely. No doubt. But

01:02:36.340 you're going to have to buy a pair to, uh, figure that out for yourself. All right, guys,

01:02:39.440 we'll let you get going. We'll be back. What is today? Wednesday. We'll be back on Friday for

01:02:43.240 your Friday field notes. Until then, gentlemen, go out there, take action, become the man you are

01:02:47.980 meant to be. Thank you for listening to the order of man podcast. You're ready to take charge of your

01:02:52.880 life and be more of the man you were meant to be. We invite you to join the order at order of man.com.

01:03:00.420 We'll be right back.

Order of Man - November 06, 2019

Solving Simple Problems First, Focusing on the Long-Game, and Overcoming "Superhero Syndrome" ｜ ASK ME ANYTHING

Episode Stats

Summary

Transcript

Order of Man - November 06, 2019

Solving Simple Problems First, Focusing on the Long-Game, and Overcoming &#x22;Superhero Syndrome&#x22; ｜ ASK ME ANYTHING

Episode Stats

Summary

Transcript

Solving Simple Problems First, Focusing on the Long-Game, and Overcoming "Superhero Syndrome" ｜ ASK ME ANYTHING