Solving Simple Problems First, Focusing on the Long-Game, and Overcoming "Superhero Syndrome" ｜ ASK ME ANYTHING
Episode Stats
Length
1 hour and 3 minutes
Words per minute
191.68066
Harmful content
Misogyny
5
sentences flagged
Hate speech
5
sentences flagged
Summary
In this episode, the brother and sister duo of the discuss Halloween, the differences between kids and adults when it comes to trick or treaters, and what it means to be a man in today's society.
Transcript
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You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest, embrace your fears, and boldly chart
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your own path. When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time, every time.
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You are not easily deterred or defeated, rugged, resilient, strong. This is your life. This is who
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you are. This is who you will become. At the end of the day, and after all is said and done,
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you can call yourself a man. Mr. Kip Thornton, what's going on, brother?
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Not much. Wrapped up Halloween. I think Halloween is a measuring tool of a generation.
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How so? I couldn't help but go trick-or-treating and notice the difference of how I trick-or-treated
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as a kid versus how kids trick-or-treat today. Well, when I was a kid, my mom just said,
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go trick-or-treating and be home at nine or 10 or whatever it was, and then we were off to do our
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own thing. Yeah. Is that? Yeah. I think doing it solo is one aspect of it. The other one was
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my objective was it was work. I got this pillowcase. I got this amount of time, and my objective was one
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thing, to get as much candy as possible in that window of time. Is that different than kids these
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days? Yeah. Most kids are like, I'm done. I'm like, wait, there's still free candy all throughout
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the entire nation. It doesn't matter how cold it is. You need to push through. Yeah, but part of the
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reason is because everybody does the trunk-or-treats, so they don't need to work for it. They just go
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from car to car to car to car to car, and then there's candy, candy, candy. I love Halloween. I love
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the spookiness of it. I love that kids get to dress up. I like fall. It's my favorite season.
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I do not like the whole idea of just go around and people give you shit. That seems like the dumbest
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thing ever. I don't like that aspect of it at all. It's consumerism at its finest. I see.
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So for you, you would say be like, so many burpees per house before you get the candy,
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make them work harder. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. It's like go from trunk to trunk. How hard is that?
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It's weak, man. I don't know. And then you have all this candy, and it's like,
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we don't let our kids eat all that, so why are we consuming all of it? And then people are
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spending hundreds and hundreds of dollars on candy. I don't know. It's weird. It's such a weird
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thing. That said, we went trick-or-treating last night. Apparently not too weird. It's just weird.
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I don't like it, but the kids have fun, and they get to see their friends and dress up and
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et cetera, et cetera. Yeah. I've never been a fan of the trunk or treat. In fact, we don't.
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I mean, I get it. I get it because society is a whole lot less safe, I think, than maybe it used
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to be with regards to that. And there's weirdos, man. There's creeps out there. Yeah.
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But at the same time, it's like, earn it. Go earn that.
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See, I just throw my kids to the creeps and say, hey, you know what? Fend for yourself. Here's a knife.
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Okay. They're also highly trained jiu-jitsu practitioners. Yeah. I wish, actually.
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All right. Well, should we get into the questions? Your video is frozen, but it is what it is. We
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got you on audio anyways. It'll be awkward for someone watching on YouTube.
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Yeah. If you watched on YouTube, you're in a very compromising position right now.
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Idiot. Well, I don't know if it's like the fact that you're frozen that makes you look
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like an idiot, but it maybe highlights or brings attention to it.
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It looks normal. Like, it doesn't look any different than you normally look. So, I guess
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All right, guys. We're fielding questions from, I think we'll start with the Iron Council
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today. And then we'll probably get through all those based on how many questions we have.
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And then we'll dive into the Facebook group a little bit.
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Yeah. Sounds great. So, our first question is from Joseph McHugan. How do you go about
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picking the monthly topics within the Iron Council? So, maybe we explain that briefly first.
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Okay. Yeah. So, inside the Iron Council, which most of you listening know or watching, is,
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excuse me, our exclusive brotherhood. We've got challenges and assignments and we're having
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conversations and holding each other accountable. It's just an elevated way to communicate amongst
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men who are on the same path or similar paths, I should say. Want to get better. Want to improve,
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make themselves more capable as fathers, husbands, leaders in the community, owners of businesses,
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employees, et cetera. Every month, we do a monthly topic and then we break it into subcategories that
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we're talking about on a weekly basis. So, most of the way that we decide on the monthly topic
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Joshua Laycock and I go through that and we see what trends have done well. We see what
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conversations are taking place inside of the Iron Council. If there's trends and conversations that
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continue to get brought up, then we know that that's probably a pretty good indicator that we
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should talk about on a monthly basis. We also try to build upon previous monthly topics and cover
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things that we've never even discussed before. So, a combination of what haven't we discussed,
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a combination of what topics guys are talking about naturally and addressing. Maybe there's
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some current events or some trends in society that we feel like we can address. We take all of that
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into consideration. And also, what's done well in the past. If there's a topic that's landed flat,
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then we know, okay, well, for whatever reason, this isn't that appealing or interesting to the guy.
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All right, guys, we're back. Before I was so rudely interrupted, I just thought you hung up on me.
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You were thick of hearing me talk about how we choose topics in the Iron Council. So,
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I'm like, well, I guess he's done with hearing that. So, yeah, I just want to do my hair so I
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don't look like an idiot. I started getting all like self-conscious and stuff. So,
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do you feel like you're good now? Yeah, I'm good. Okay. All right. Well,
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let's move on to the next question then. All right. Sean Saylors. What's a good way to introduce
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my five-year-old and two-and-a-half-year-old to the concepts of masculinity without it seeming like
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I'm teaching them intolerant things along the lines of boys don't do that stuff? Example,
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recently, my oldest had something and acted like it was a bra. I told him he doesn't wear bras and
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to stop acting like he was. Well, I don't, I think he's got a misguided sense of what masculinity is.
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I mean, he said, read the part where he said, introduce them to masculinity without, et cetera,
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et cetera. Yeah. Without seeming like I'm teaching them intolerant things along the lines of boys
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don't do that. That's not what masculinity is. Masculinity isn't about being intolerant of
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anything. Masculinity is about teaching frameworks that are going to help your children and other
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people thrive and succeed and do well. And it's not bad to say that boys don't wear bras because boys
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don't have boobs. Like that's it. A bra is for breasts and men don't have breasts, so they don't
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wear bras. That's it. Keep it simple. Unless you wear them on your heads, right? Weird science.
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Right. And then that's totally acceptable. Totally acceptable. Or it's Halloween and you're dressing
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up or whatever. But like, yeah, I think you might be overthinking this one a little bit. I have all kinds
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of conversations with my kids, not just sons, but daughter as well about what is appropriate
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behavior and what isn't. I'm so sick of society saying that, well, you just let your kids do
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whatever they want, dictate whatever they want, feel however they want, dress up with whatever
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they want, be a girl, be a boy, think you're whatever gender. That's stupid. Kids are dumb.
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Well, let me say it this way. Kids are ignorant, which is why they have parents. Too bad parent. Most
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parents are ignorant too. Like our job is not to just let our kids do whatever the hell they feel
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like doing. Our job as a parent is to let them know what is appropriate behavior. Now, some people
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say, well, what is appropriate? Appropriate is something that is going to serve them well and
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serve society in general. Well, that's what appropriate behavior is. Well, who dictates that?
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We do individually and collectively. This isn't rocket science.
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Yes. And it's going to, you're going to be intolerant of something because you should be
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a standard. Yeah. Your standards are not going to agree with everybody. So guess what? Your kids are
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going to have an opinion or should have an opinion that's not in line with everyone else. Right.
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It's not popular sometimes. Right. Well, and then there's also a difference between intolerance
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and acceptance, you know, like for example, right. I, I accept, um, I can accept that some people are
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homosexual, for example, or, or, uh, think they're a woman or think that a woman thinks they're a man.
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Like I, I accept that, but I don't, I don't embrace that thought. That's not, that's not something
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that I choose to embrace, but I can see that, that people are, that's the way some people are
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or choose to be. And so, okay, great. But I don't have to adopt that as my own personal mantra. I don't
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have to say that it's okay just to make you feel better about your life choices and decisions.
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Yeah. So maybe as an example, Ryan, what's that conversation where you could express that to your
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kid about, you don't have to agree with it, but we don't place too harsh of a judgment on other
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individuals. Everyone, you know, let them do their thing, but this is what we do. Like maybe that's
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kind of what Sean. Well, I'll give you an example. So when my kids were younger, specifically my oldest,
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he would see people smoking and he would say, Oh dad, they're smoking. That person's like gross or
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something. I'm like, well, look, like we don't, I don't agree with smoking. I don't think it's healthy.
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I don't think it's good for you. Um, I think it's expensive and it causes all kinds of health issues.
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I think objectively most, even the smokers would, would agree in a test of that. Yeah. But it
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doesn't make them a bad person. And so we would just have those conversations. Hey, you know what,
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bud? Like people make their choices. I make bad choices. You make bad choices. They make choices
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that aren't in their best interest. And we can still appreciate that individual respect that
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they're probably a decent human being and that they've made this choice that doesn't serve them
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well. And that's it period. Same thing with tattoos. I remember when my son would see tattoos
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you know, he's like, Oh, they have a tattoo. Yeah. And that's a, that's it. I don't have any
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tattoos. I don't think anything bad about tattoos, but again, we don't, unless that behavior is
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affecting us in some way, like we don't need to, we don't need to judge necessarily that behavior.
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Like we just let people do what they're going to do unless it affects me. It's like it's their
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life. It's their deal by all means do what you got to do. If you don't mind me suggesting
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though, but you still want to establish what that is, what that standard is for you and what we deem
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as acceptable in our family, but, but be okay with other people doing something else. Right.
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Otherwise it's like, Oh, I mean, anything's okay. Yeah. Because I like in that same conversation
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about smoking, for example, I'm like, we're not going to judge that individual. That probably,
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that person's probably a decent and good human being. That doesn't mean that we're going to smoke.
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In fact, I don't even say that. I ask, well, what do you think about smoking? Well, I think it's
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gross. I do too. So, and those are the conversations we have, but we don't need to attach unless there's
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certain behaviors. We would attach that to who the person is, right? But habits and things like that.
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No, I don't think so. Okay, cool. Bubba Downs. He actually has a, can I say one more thing?
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I'm sorry about that. Yeah, no worries. I'm just thinking about this a little bit more. I mean,
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his kids are two and five, like how much are you really going to have as far as the conversation
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goes. So I would say outline what it is and be truthful about bras, for example. Like,
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look, if it's playful behavior and they're dinking around, I don't think there's anything to worry
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about. Right. I think a lot of guys worry about, Oh, well, what if he's, what if he's transsexual or
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it's like, well, cause he's three and he's like playing with a bra. Like, I don't think that's
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what that means. I don't think you have to worry about that just yet. Like there's, there's going
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to be some other indicators if that's something you need to worry about. But that said, just model
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the behavior that you'd like to see in your children. They see it, they pick up on it,
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they recognize it. And you know what, if you're, it's the preacher's daughter syndrome. If you're
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a dick about it and you, you like, like hide it and you, and you keep it from them and you don't
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have conversations like this, then they're more curious about it. And they might do things out of
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rebelliousness just because you were the way you were. Yeah, totally. So Sean, for, for moral
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guidance, maybe watch footloose, like that whole thing, you know, plays out in footloose, really good
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source of, uh, you know, not funny. I haven't seen it. No way. Are you kidding? Yeah. I haven't
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seen it. Forget it. So that was all for you, man. I thought it'd be funny. You're like, uh, okay,
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whatever this guy's, okay. There's a preacher, there's a daughter. She gets wild. Oh, okay.
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It's like the nineties. Maybe you're too young, young buck. Yeah, maybe. Yeah. That's the one that
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was partly filmed in a Lehigh, right? Yeah, totally. Like an old mill. Yeah. Okay. Good dance moves too.
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Apparently. Okay. What's that other one with Patrick Swayze? What's that other, uh, dirty dancing?
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Yes. That's, I do not like that movie either. All right. Bubba downs. Uh, so Bubba has a statement
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that he'd like to be made. Not so much of a question. Should we just invite him here on the
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podcast and yeah, just let him go rant. Yeah. Okay. Pull a Bubba is what we call that. So, um, and it's
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really around the notion of 60 bucks a month for the iron council. So let's lay that groundwork
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really quick. So iron council membership, um, is 67 bucks and, and just naturally we get
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a little bit of like, Hey, you know, let's make this, uh, more affordable or some things
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we'll sometimes hear. Um, actually probably not too often. I, I'm assuming maybe in Facebook
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you might hear not in the IC in the Facebook you might. Um, but the other thing I've heard
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and I'd like you to make a comment to this too, Ryan is, Hey, let me sponsor someone.
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Oh yeah. And, and let me pay for their membership because they really need it. And I think both
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of these things are kind of tied to one another. So let me, let me read what Bubba's asked us
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to. And, and someone said, Kip, if you could do it with Bubba's accent, it'd be extra, uh,
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enjoyable. I don't know if I can pull that off. That's really hard. You can't. All right. So
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I'll do my best. If you don't believe you can pay for the iron council, then you are the guy
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that needs it most. Stop hiding behind your bullshit, get out of your comfort zone and do
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the damn work. Quit buying that coffee in the morning. Quit buying the, the scratch off. Stop
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drinking with your buddies on the weekend. Stop hiding behind your money. Woes, as though
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it was some kind of shield rant over, enjoy the rest of the podcast. Bubba out.
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Well, there's a lot to unpack here. Those are all, those swear words are all quotes, right?
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Right. It wasn't you swearing. Nope. Um, okay. So there's a couple of different ways to take
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this. First, we just have to assume that some people don't want to join the iron council.
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And that's fine. Yeah. Stop getting mad at them, Bubba. Right. Like just because they're not going
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to invest to be a member of the iron council, it means that they're making an excuse. So let's just
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be clear about that. Some people don't need it. Don't want it. Don't see the value in it. So that
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that's fine. I have no problem with that. But now let's say, let's, let's take it for what I think
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he's saying, which is that there are those who are interested and they're, and they say like,
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I'm interested, but I have this. And, but I have that. The other thing that we have to be careful
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of. And as I get older and more mature, I'm more cautious about just this black and white thing is
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that I don't think $67 is a lot of money. Bubba may not think $67 is a lot of money, but that's all
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relative. And I'm not going to say that it's a lot or a little for anybody else. They have to decide
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that for themselves based on their own financial situation. I don't know. I don't know what their
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situation is. $67 a month could be a lot of money to some people. And maybe they have, have stopped
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going out and maybe they aren't going on their drink runs and buying the pack of cigarettes and
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spending. Maybe they're already doing that. I want to assume that some people are. Let's get even
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deeper here. If somebody wants to be part of it, they're spending money on stupid things and they
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know it's stupid and they're using that as an excuse not to invest in themselves, then absolutely.
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That's a problem. And I'm not just talking about investing in the iron council. I'm talking about
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buying books and I'm talking about going to conferences and purchasing courses and, and
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investing in things that they believe will serve them well. And I, I use the word invest very
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deliberately because it's not about spending. We're not spending here. Technically. Yes, I guess
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we are, but we're investing, which means that an investment will yield a return. And I believe
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inside the iron council that the return that will be yielded is significantly greater than the
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investment one makes with their money and their time. If you don't see that as being the case,
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or you don't think that's true, then yeah, don't join the iron council. I would say that would be a
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bad investment for you, but he's right to the degree that there's people who want to be part of the
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iron council and are spending money on stupid things and simultaneously complaining about not
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improving themselves. Yeah. Get off your butt, invest in yourself, do the work. Like he said.
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Yeah. And there's always, and a lot of this relates to like time management too,
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but it's almost like the same. Oh, there's a lot of ways. I don't have time or whatever. It's like,
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yeah, you do. You have the time. Most people have the time. Most people have the money.
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They're just, they have all these reasons and excuses of why they can't. And that's just their
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escape go where they don't want to accept the idea that it, guess what? You have to buckle down
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and maybe do something hard, right? They'd much rather be a victim of some other circumstance than
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just deciding that they're, that they don't want to make the investment that they're unwilling to.
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And that's fine. But say that, yeah, it's better. It's better to tell yourself the truth.
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And the truth is not that I don't have time. The truth is I'm not going to make time to do that.
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That's why when people in the podcast have asked me about, are you going to start like with a
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traditional bow? I don't say, I don't have time to do that. I say, I'm not going to make extra time
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or carve out time out of my day to engage in that activity. Cause that's the truth.
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It's not that I don't have the time to do it. I got 24 hours a day that I could do it,
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but I don't choose to allocate any of the 24 hours a day towards that activity. And that is the truth.
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That's the more accurate statement. So you, we've got to be very, very careful about BSing ourselves
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because we're really, really good at it. And we're so good at it that it's become conditioned in,
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ingrained into the way that we communicate. And that's why it's important. I think is it Jordan
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Peterson who says, be precise with your words. That's why you need to be precise with your words
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so that you're a communicating the right message to others and be not lying to yourself and not
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making excuses about things that you say you want to have in your life. Yeah. And, and a good example
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or a good exercise for everybody listening is just look at any scenario where someone invited you to
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something and your reply in almost all cases, you'll say, Oh, I can't, I have blah, right? Well,
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that's not completely accurate, right? That's not what you're saying. What you're saying is
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this is a higher priority. I have a previous commitment or something like that. And, and I
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think there's huge power in being intentional with how we explain things. Well, you're doing it to hedge,
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hedge the blow, right? So if you invited me to something, Kip would be like, Oh, I can't,
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cause I have this thing. Well, I'm not, I'm, I might be actually doing that selflessly, right?
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Cause I'm trying to spare your feelings. Yeah. But in the meantime, I'm lying.
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And ironically, are you sparing my feelings? No, I'm still going, huh? That's a higher priority.
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And then depending on whether I agree with it being a higher priority, not, well,
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I'll fill that blow anyway. So it doesn't matter what kind of language you use. You might as well
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been intentional with it and accurate. One thing that I really, one time you came to Utah and didn't
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come train, you know, very similar. Exactly. Exactly. And I told you why I'm like, I'm going
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to do this instead. And, and I went and I thought, actually I understand that. And that is a higher
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priority. Yes. Totally. Because you're a reasonable human being, but there's plenty of people who are
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not reasonable. And that's why people do that. Um, one of the practices that I've tried to get very
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good at lately and just practice. Cause it's really hard is people will reach out to me for
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either so that I can go on their podcast or they can come on our podcast. And I've really been
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intentional about in my response back to them, simply saying, no, we will pass this time.
00:21:06.140
That's hard. Instead of coming up with an excuse, like, no, like we're, we're, we're busy. And I
00:21:12.240
don't know, like, no, no, thank you. But I appreciate the request send. That's really hard
00:21:19.720
to do, but that's a good practice to get into. I think. Yeah. It's super tough. Yeah. Don't come
00:21:24.440
up with the excuses after. Yeah. Okay. So the other aspect of this, what would you say to individuals,
00:21:30.560
guys that are in the iron council, they have good intentions. We've seen this all the time. Like I
00:21:34.960
even thought about this from, and maybe I even shouldn't bring this up. Cause I don't, we haven't
00:21:40.280
really talked about it, but you know, we provide discounts if you're a vet or someone has a buddy
00:21:46.700
and they want to sponsor them and have them a member of the IC. Why don't you talk to kind of
00:21:51.640
your thoughts around that? Because that's very relate, very much related. And I think there's
00:21:55.900
a lot of insights and opinions that you have there that might benefit. We don't allow sponsorships of
00:22:01.020
outside members to come into the iron council. And the reason that we don't is because if an
00:22:06.480
individual is unable or incapable of investing in themselves, then in our experience, their
00:22:15.900
performance inside of the iron council is going to be jeopardized and it's not going to be beneficial
00:22:21.220
for them. It's not going to be beneficial for the rest of the members. We're only as strong as our
00:22:24.980
weakest link. And again, I realized some people are not in the financial position to do it.
00:22:30.100
That's okay. You're then you're not in the position to be a member of the iron council. I have no
00:22:34.420
qualms about that at all. The reason that there's that barrier to entry of the $67 a month,
00:22:39.600
which might be a little or might be a lot, depending on where you are, is to a degree,
00:22:43.660
we know at least you're willing to invest in yourself. And that says something about you.
00:22:48.820
If you if you if you don't want to invest the $67, what makes me believe that you want to invest time
00:22:55.700
into implementing what we're teaching about? If you can't invest the $67, you're strapped for time as it
00:23:03.000
is because you're working and you're living paycheck to paycheck and you are incapable of
00:23:08.220
investing time into doing the work inside the iron council. That's it. That's the that's the only
00:23:15.380
reason. Now, the exception that we make to that is that if there is a an existing member of the iron
00:23:21.620
council who has fallen upon maybe some financial hardship or or whatever, and his team decides to
00:23:29.400
sponsor him for anywhere from a month to two or three months, we will we will honor that request
00:23:35.840
because that individual at least made an initial commitment to invest. He proved to his team and to
00:23:42.640
us that he's willing to invest in himself. And what he's going through right now might be a temporary
00:23:46.920
setback. I would not allow that and authorize that indefinitely. But for a period of one to two,
00:23:52.620
three months tops, yes, we would do that for an existing member of the iron council.
00:23:57.700
Yeah. I would like to share an example of this. And I've mentioned this in the past, I believe,
00:24:05.140
where when I first started doing jujitsu, I was I was doing a punch pass. And I would go like
00:24:11.040
two, three, four times a month, max, it was enough to get beat up. And then when I moved to New York,
00:24:17.400
I went into Vitor Shaolin's gym, I was told to go there, like everyone told me like you got to
00:24:22.580
train with Shaolin. So I went to Shaolin's. And, you know, the class was great. I was interested,
00:24:28.000
I wanted to sign up. And I said, Oh, do you have a punch pass? And he's like, Oh, no, you're committed
00:24:34.500
to doing jujitsu or you're not. And the price tag is going to be x. And the and the amount was
00:24:41.820
substantial, like way different than I was used to paying in Utah, right? Utah rates of jujitsu,
00:24:47.340
membership versus New York, where the gyms in Times Square area of Manhattan, it's going to be
00:24:54.240
expensive. The difference, though, I trained all the time, all the time. Why? Because I is invest I
00:25:02.660
had something on the line, I had a lot of money on the line. And I wasn't going to waste the time and
00:25:08.960
the money and the research that I was putting into, you know, this membership. So it forced me to get on
00:25:13.700
the court because I made an investment. Same thing happens in the iron council. If guys are not
00:25:18.920
like, I would even argue, and maybe you would agree with this, Ryan, and not that we're doing
00:25:23.840
this. So no one freak out. But if you change iron council membership from 67 to let's say $200 a month,
00:25:30.940
and then you waited six months, I would probably guess the caliber and the commitment and the
00:25:38.600
involvement of guys in the IC would be drastically. Oh, I'm sure it would. I'm sure it would. And in
00:25:44.440
turn, the effectiveness of that community would be drastically different. It's really, really
00:25:50.880
interesting how when when you have a lot of stakes in the game and things change, consulting is the
00:25:57.660
same way. I laugh all the time, where we we are brought into a company to provide guidance and
00:26:04.780
direction around business process and systems. And they 100% listen to us. They may have employees
00:26:11.440
that have been telling them the same thing for the last 20 years, but they didn't consider those
00:26:16.780
ideas. It's when they put money on the table, have a consultant come in all of a sudden, everyone's
00:26:22.120
like all ears. We better do what this guy tells us to do because we're throwing money into it.
00:26:27.020
And so value for sure. Yeah. Proceed value. So, so critical.
00:26:30.740
And sorry for the sun, for you guys that are watching on YouTube here, I'm getting like
00:26:36.120
knowing the sun is like angelic glow to you today, Kip. Yeah. Well, but you're getting more of a sun
00:26:42.740
off your side of your head, which is, I don't know, equally kind of wow factor there. Okay.
00:26:49.640
Josh Hubbler tricks for people you work with who are on the same level as you that do not take
00:26:56.380
ownership of their mistakes or are hypocritical and patronizing. Is that your job? Same level as you
00:27:03.940
meaning, uh, equal worker, but they have this kind of mentality. So what? Cool. That means you'll get
00:27:10.600
the promotion before them. And we get wrapped up into things that aren't really, that's not fair.
00:27:17.340
Yeah. It just shouldn't be a concern of ours. So what? So some guy dinks off. Let's say he,
00:27:23.420
well, let's say worst case scenario, he gets a promotion before you and he's a slacker.
00:27:27.620
Do you, do you not? Do you, so do you think slacking is the way to go then? No, you know,
00:27:32.060
that principally that working hard and being diligent and getting your job done and not
00:27:37.880
shirking responsibility and not making excuses is inevitably going to pay off. This is all about
00:27:43.580
the long game. So be influential, uh, do your work to the best of your ability. Know that through
00:27:50.640
that consistent effort that it's going to pay off. But if a guy doesn't want to be led to behave
00:27:56.760
differently, to do something different, to improve, to, to get better at his job, what are you going to
00:28:01.720
do about it? Nothing. And what you're, what you end up doing is taking your time and energy, speaking
00:28:06.720
of resources and directing it towards something you have no control over. And then what happens to
00:28:11.320
your work? It goes to hell because you didn't take the time like you were before to invest in what
00:28:16.740
you could control yourself. And you instead directed it to somebody who you could not control
00:28:21.700
and your work suffered because of it. Yeah. Or if you're really emotionally pissed off,
00:28:27.000
then you compromise your integrity and not do your job because he's not doing his job. And now it's
00:28:33.440
about like equal, I don't know what even the term you would use for it, like collective laziness,
00:28:39.660
because he's being lazy and why should I have to do it? If he's not doing like all that kind of
00:28:44.000
crazy, we call it social process. Yeah. That's, that's the term for it. But yeah, just do your
00:28:50.340
work, man. Do it well and let the chips fall where they may. Everything will work out. There you go.
00:28:56.180
That looks better. Is that better? Yeah. Okay. Roger Taylor prioritize and execute is one of the main
00:29:03.400
strategies from Jocko and Leif Babin's book dichotomy of leadership. They point out that sometimes you can
00:29:09.500
get target fixation and fail to see when your priorities emerge and when you have to adjust.
00:29:15.080
Do you have any suggestions for figuring out when you should step back and reevaluate when you're
00:29:20.920
not achieving the results that you would like? Yeah. You know, look at it on a grand scale and, and,
00:29:28.100
and also consider the long game, which, which Jocko would, would say as well as like, well, you know,
00:29:35.080
you can win the battle, but did you win the war, right? It's important to win the war battles are
00:29:39.540
important. I'm not going to lie. You got to win the battles too, but they're less significant than
00:29:43.560
the war itself, which is the mission, right? So if you get so hyper fixated on one thing that you
00:29:49.360
jeopardize the entire mission, then that's a problem. So keep your eye on the long game, keep your eye on
00:29:55.620
the prize, look at the results, do your after action reviews to analyze whether or not your behaviors and
00:30:01.920
your actions and your results are moving you towards the completion of that objective. And
00:30:07.000
if they're not, then step back, give yourself a 30,000 foot view, look at it from a different
00:30:12.040
perspective and ask yourself what needs to be done now to get back on track or to fix what maybe we
00:30:17.300
messed up. So again, long game mission first, which is a principle he would attest to as well.
00:30:24.200
And then you can start worrying about what battles need to be won in order to complete the overall
00:30:28.600
objective and mission. Yeah. So what I'm hearing in summary is, is don't lose sight of the long game
00:30:35.460
and the mission and look for strategies, maybe on a regular basis of how you're constantly
00:30:40.740
reconnecting with the mission and the, and the long game to make sure that you're not getting
00:30:44.940
target fixation. If you're trying to be proactive, right? Right. You're right. So, so I'll give you an
00:30:49.780
example with, with, uh, one thing that an initiative that we've started over the past little while with
00:30:54.540
order of man is to be very active on YouTube. Right. So what I do when I put up videos is we
00:31:00.180
look at the performance of those videos and I can see that, you know, one does really, really well
00:31:03.740
and the other does not so great. So do I fixate on the one that doesn't do so well and like try to
00:31:08.760
adjust it and fix it and tweak it and, and, and explain to everybody why they should listen to it
00:31:13.620
and why they should watch it. Like, do I get fixated on that one failing thing or do I just simply
00:31:19.800
learn the lesson and say, Oh, okay, well, here's what I learned from that. Don't do that next time.
00:31:23.260
And, and implement new strategies into the grand perspective of things and focus on what is going
00:31:28.560
well. Now scale out even further than that. I look at YouTube and think, okay, is this moving the
00:31:34.640
needle in the right direction right now? Our YouTube channel is blowing up. I mean, we're really close
00:31:39.780
to a hundred thousand subscribers at this point when I think 45 days ago ish, somewhere right around
00:31:45.600
there. Uh, we were at 42,000. So we've doubled in the last month, month and a half. Thanks by the way,
00:31:52.120
guys. Yes, we do appreciate the support over there for sure. Uh, I have to look at that and
00:31:57.520
ask myself continually, is this something that is moving the overall objective and mission
00:32:02.320
to where we want to go? Because if it isn't, then why would I pour my time, energy resources into the
00:32:08.400
thing that's not actually helping us produce results? I'm trying to think if there's something
00:32:12.520
that we've done in the past that ended up being something that really didn't move the needle.
00:32:19.000
I can't really think of anything, but there's been, I know there's been things and they must
00:32:25.600
have been minor cause I can't think of them right offhand that I'm like, Oh, that didn't work.
00:32:30.020
Yeah. That didn't help you. Cut ties, move on to something else. Yeah. I have that main thing on
00:32:36.760
the, on the, on the horizon that you're looking at. I have an example of this that I think is a
00:32:41.000
little bit hard and it's from a position of, of leadership within the organization in which I work
00:32:47.780
where it's really tempting to get in the weeds on a project. And, and, and let me just use kind of
00:32:54.800
use the term that those projects are fires, right? Like they're media and important. Stephen Covey in
00:32:59.940
his four quadrants, these are urgent and important items, but there's things that are important that
00:33:05.060
are not urgent. And if I spend all my time in urgent and important, I will never touch the
00:33:11.580
important and not urgent items. And eventually when we don't address those items, fires and chaos,
00:33:18.340
we will eventually assume, right? If I'm in the trenches with my team and we're kicking ass and
00:33:22.960
every project is a huge success and we're just doing an amazing job, then eventually all of a sudden I
00:33:28.440
have a guy that goes, Hey, I'm leaving the company and I'm going to somewhere else. Why?
00:33:31.600
Because I feel undervalued because I, you know, you haven't stepped back and made sure that the
00:33:38.200
culture was good, that the team environment was good, that these other things that also make my
00:33:43.940
employment here highly rewarding. You didn't worry about those because you were so worried about the
00:33:48.320
projects. Right. So I have to constantly, because both are both important. Both things are equally
00:33:54.080
important, but sometimes I have to say, okay, I need to delegate for these urgent items so I can remove
00:34:00.400
myself or I have to accept the fact that like, I don't have maybe control over it. I can't be on
00:34:06.900
every project. I can't make sure every project is perfect. I have to trust my guys and let them
00:34:11.880
move forward on those. So then that way I can step back and, and focus on the long game.
00:34:17.300
Yeah. I mean, we saw this in the financial planning field all the time. I would meet with clients who had
00:34:21.480
an underperforming portfolio, for example, and I would sit down and I'd look at their portfolio and
00:34:26.740
analyze it and review it. And I'd say, this is, this portfolio is very inefficient. It's an
00:34:31.340
ineffective investment portfolio. I'm like, well, we know it's down 30% right now, 20%. We're just
00:34:37.420
waiting until we get back to even to change it. It's like, that's a bad idea. What you're doing is
00:34:43.460
you're chasing bad money with good. Yeah. Like rat race. Right. And you, you just want to recoup.
00:34:50.480
In the time that it takes you to recoup with an ineffective and inefficient portfolio,
00:34:54.260
what if instead we put it into an effective portfolio? Could we actually get there in half
00:34:59.260
the time, a third of the time? Maybe. So is it in your best interest to chase and pursue things that
00:35:06.260
aren't working just to like force a square peg into a round hole? Of course not. And yet our emotions get
00:35:13.020
in the way egos too, right? Like, Oh, if I, if this project fails, then I'm a failure. No, it just means
00:35:20.060
that project failed. It didn't work. You're a failure. If you allow it to define you and you
00:35:25.680
keep chasing a project that isn't work, that's insanity. So cut your ties, focus on the big
00:35:30.920
picture, prioritize and execute, move on to things that are going to be more effective.
00:35:36.620
Joel Garcia, a close friend of mine struggles with his wife as she seems, uh, as she reams him out for
00:35:44.620
not stepping up where he needs to. I have brought up how he can be more capable and more proactive
00:35:49.800
man and sources that he can look into, but he dismisses it thinking everybody is equal and that
00:35:55.240
relationships are more about matching psychological profiles instead of the expectation of a man and
00:36:01.840
a woman. I'd be crushed to see his family split. How do I help him or show him how to step up?
00:36:08.300
Guys, we're not superheroes. It's not your job to rescue everybody.
00:36:15.840
And it won't work most of the time, by the way. In fact, they'll reject it. This goes back to what
00:36:19.840
we're saying earlier. The harder you push, the greater wedge you drive between him and you
00:36:23.280
be an example, be a shining beacon of what it means to be a man and how he shows up in his family and
00:36:30.340
leads his wife and leads his children and engages in his community and grows within his business.
00:36:35.660
And if he solicits you for advice or you feel like you have something to share,
00:36:39.920
share it and then just let the chips fall where they may. The guy, you just said the guy's not
00:36:45.420
interested. So knock it off. Just continue to be the light. Now, if you have somebody who comes to
00:36:52.240
you and says, Joel, you know, I, I see what you're doing in your business and your family. And I really
00:36:57.100
admire and respect what you're doing. I'm having some struggles with my relationship. Would you mind
00:37:00.640
giving me some advice? Of course, engage with that individual, help him, like tell him what,
00:37:07.020
you know, give him books to read, have him listen to the podcast, invite him to join the iron council,
00:37:12.160
all of these things. But if somebody has just proven they're not interested, then just be a
00:37:17.040
friend. Like you can be a friend to this guy without being his superhero. It's not what he wants from
00:37:24.360
you. So just be friendly with him, invite him to barbecues, invite him to family outings,
00:37:30.580
you know, train with him, hold him accountable if that's what he's looking for. And maybe at some
00:37:36.720
point he'll see the light and maybe he won't, but that's not for you to dictate.
00:37:42.700
Yeah. And I do have to say this. I mean, I think Joel's question and guys that struggle with this,
00:37:48.880
Ryan, I think comes from a place of caring, right?
00:37:50.980
I know it does. We want the best for these guys. So I totally get that. And that sucks. I mean,
00:37:56.140
I've had guys in my life that I completely care for that. I want the best for them. And I've tried
00:38:01.380
the same thing and it sucks because you feel like you're leaving them behind. You, you see what's
00:38:07.240
possible. You see the kind of man that they can become. You see their capability of, or opportunities
00:38:13.320
that they can embrace to become better. But like you said, I mean, you can't force it and it,
00:38:19.180
and it kind of stinks. Cause you can see you, all you do is, is be a great example and,
00:38:24.740
and provide some insights to your actions. And then you ultimately have to step back and let
00:38:30.580
Yeah, it is. It's unfortunate, but there's, it's not your battle.
00:38:35.600
It's just, it's an unfortunate situation. That's it.
00:38:39.120
Yeah. Lighthouse. I mean, I call it this, this idea, this, like the Superman syndrome. Like I see
00:38:45.240
so many guys thinking, you know, they had these boyhood dreams of being a superhero and rescuing
00:38:50.640
the damsel in distress and the people who were in bad situations. And then it's like, they,
00:38:55.560
they evolved, but they never grew out of that way of thinking. So now they're not like,
00:39:00.060
I'm the actual superhero. They're just trying to run around and rescue everybody they possibly can.
00:39:04.260
Cool. I can really appreciate your level of empathy and desire to help other people. But
00:39:11.320
what if you poured all of that into people who actually wanted to be helped?
00:39:17.160
Yeah. It's interesting, Ryan, do you feel sometimes that the people that, I mean, if we use your
00:39:23.780
superhero analogy here, that most people that you end up quote unquote rescuing are sometimes people
00:39:30.480
that you don't even know. And those that do know you are the very ones that, that, uh, probably
00:39:37.080
may not get as much influence. Does it make sense? Like, it's, it's shocking. Like since my involvement
00:39:42.640
with the podcast and stuff, I'm constantly amazed of people I don't know reaching out and leaving
00:39:48.240
comments and saying, you guys are changing my life or whatever. But, but yet my best buddy from,
00:39:54.880
you know, the last 15 years sees no value or is not even on the same page as me.
00:40:01.640
Yeah. But again, that's not your responsibility. And I get that. It's not, but it's just interesting
00:40:06.080
that the guy that I know is influenced, right? I think what would be worse. Well, part of the
00:40:11.580
reason Kip that might be is because your buddy knows the 20 year old version of yourself. Yeah.
00:40:16.440
He knows the real Kip. Yeah. Right. So he knows the guy that used to drink or used to, you know,
00:40:20.720
get into trouble and get into fights and was inappropriate and immature, whatever. And I'm not saying
00:40:24.400
those are just examples just to clarify. Right. But that's the Kip he knew. So he's like,
00:40:30.000
what's this guy going to tell me about what it means to be a man. But somebody who listens to the
00:40:33.760
podcast, they don't know my faults. They don't know your faults. Cause we paint ourselves. Let's
00:40:37.880
be honest in the best light we possibly can. And we try not to sometimes we're like, Hey,
00:40:41.800
this is our opinion. We're not perfect. So right. We try to be real about who it is we are, but
00:40:47.500
come on, let's be honest. Like we, we buy microphones to improve the sound quality and we make sure that
00:40:53.740
what's behind us is painting the right picture. And, you know, I know you don't do that, but I do
00:40:59.800
that. So it's, it's like people, these, the people who listen to the podcast don't know us. And so
00:41:07.600
therefore they don't know our faults. So they think we're better than we really are. And maybe in a way
00:41:12.080
put us on a pedestal. We don't belong. I think that, I think the, the bigger travesty is when you're
00:41:19.600
trying and you're out there and you're helping people and you have kids at home who don't even
00:41:23.540
know you. Cause that is your responsibility. Yeah. Right. So I see so many guys who get into
00:41:31.680
business and they're doing good things and they're blowing up their businesses and they're
00:41:34.700
creating jobs and they're, they're helping people and they're serving a need. And yet their children
00:41:39.340
don't know them like shame on you. Yeah. You brought children into this world deliberately and
00:41:44.800
intentionally. And now you're going to neglect them for your own selfish ambitions. Not good.
00:41:50.640
Yeah. Reminds me of a quote or a statement that Jordan Peterson made about how being public servants
00:41:56.820
and providing impact and, and change for other people that, that you should have your own house
00:42:02.760
taken care of first, that you are in no position to be providing value to other individuals. If you
00:42:07.360
haven't addressed that internally, which we're working on it at least working on. And I like that
00:42:12.380
analogy. I actually liked that clarification that you just said, at least working out, we're on the
00:42:16.780
path. Because not even Jordan Peterson has everything locked down in his home. Exactly. And this is tough.
00:42:21.180
I'm totally going off topic here, but, but hopefully it's valuable is that's what makes this tough.
00:42:27.820
Even for me, for instance, I'll, I'll be completely vulnerable here. You know, Asia and I got in a fight
00:42:33.820
like last week or something, and it bothered being probably more than normal because I'm on this podcast
00:42:41.440
with you. And we talk about relationships and the importance of, you know, how you show up at your
00:42:49.020
home and, and to your wife and your kids. And it add more pressure to the fact of like, why in the hell
00:42:55.580
are we having an argument? I should have my shit to get like, it even made it a little bit more stressful
00:43:01.140
for me because of this platform that I'm involved in versus if I wasn't. And it was, is a really
00:43:08.120
interesting. And I, and I actually meant to bring it up and say, you know, am I alone here? Do you
00:43:13.320
see this for yourself as well? Sometimes I don't ever fight with my wife. So because he's perfect
00:43:19.720
and he has a perfect background right now on the webcam. Yeah, man, this, this is good. This is an
00:43:25.700
added level of accountability for you and me. And, and she'll be, she'll be quick. My wife will be
00:43:31.800
quick to remind me when it's like, Whoa, what, what, you know, what would you tell the guys?
00:43:37.940
So it's good. It's a lot. It's, it's uncomfortable at times, but it's certainly a level of accountability
00:43:43.000
that I didn't expect when we started and launched order of man. Yeah. It's tough. And, and, and I
00:43:48.680
would assume this is, this shows up for guys that are battle team leaders within our council,
00:43:53.300
right? It should. We have members, we have leaderships. Yeah. And when you're a battle team
00:43:57.940
leader, it's like, okay, well you, I can't be calling out a guy on the team saying, Hey,
00:44:02.200
why aren't you getting your physical activities in and working out? If, if my diet sucks and I'm
00:44:08.080
not hitting the gym, like that doesn't work. Well, I mean, we were talking about superheroes
00:44:12.120
earlier. If you talk about, you know, Spider-Man and I think, I think, uh, his uncle or whatever
00:44:17.180
said with great power comes great responsibility, right? So if you are in a leadership authority type
00:44:23.000
position, then you have a responsibility to manage yourself. Yeah. And, and, and I think
00:44:27.740
we've done podcasts over and over again about this, about fixing yourself first, fix yourself first,
00:44:33.140
fix yourself first. Then you can start fixing the environment around you. Yeah. Cool. What else we
00:44:39.540
got? All right. Nick Berger. I read an article recently regarding Maine becoming the eighth state
00:44:44.720
to legalize death with dignity, internal, uh, in turn, in turning points on both sides and curious on
00:44:52.060
both of your opinions. If a man has a diagnosed of a certain mentor physical, uh, scenario,
00:44:57.320
is it noble to end his life, saving his family, the financial caretaking burden, or is, or is he
00:45:02.880
cheating them out of the life-changing experience of watching a loved one fight until the ultimate
00:45:07.960
main event? We do not find it ethical to let animals suffer yet. We take different stances on
00:45:14.540
humans. Also Ryan, do you feel pressured to buy a Subaru to fit in with all the other mainers?
00:45:20.520
Do mainers have Subarus? I don't know. I haven't noticed any. Uh, well, of course we treat humans
00:45:28.000
different than animals. Humans are more valuable than, than animals are. That'll make people mad,
0.90
00:45:33.640
but that's the truth. So yes, of course we treat them differently. I'm trying to think of death with
00:45:39.840
dignity. I, I wouldn't participate in that. I don't know if I have an opinion because I really don't
00:45:46.640
know much about it on whether or not it's ethical or moral or legal or whatever, but I don't, I don't
00:45:53.980
know that I would participate in it. You know, I'm trying to think of like in, in my own personal
00:45:58.700
circumstance, like the most difficult circumstance, if my wife was in that situation, I wouldn't, I
00:46:05.880
wouldn't do that. Now, if she was being, being maintained on life support and there was a very
00:46:11.980
little possibility, if any, that she would ever recover from that, then she is expressly told me
00:46:17.300
that she doesn't want to live on life support. That's not me doing any death with dignity type
00:46:22.000
thing. That's just me not keeping her life through artificial means. But I also have an internal
00:46:27.240
perspective on, on our experience of, of, of consciousness and being alive. Right. So like,
00:46:34.600
this isn't just about life. Right. Right. So, um, my thought is that I'm not going to participate
00:46:43.080
in taking somebody's life because it's challenging in some way, but I'll leave that for you to decide
00:46:52.580
if it is or not. Yeah. It's, it's interesting though. Like I see where Nick is coming from.
00:46:58.660
I do too. Here's my take. What, what lesson would you be robbing yourself from
00:47:07.840
through pulling the plug early and not dealing and pushing through until ultimate death?
00:47:18.900
Well, I think there's a difference. I don't, I think we better distinguish because we're not
00:47:22.340
talking about pulling the plug. Yeah. I thought about it once I said that word,
00:47:26.200
I shouldn't have used that analogy, but you know what I mean?
00:47:28.180
I know what you're saying. I just want to make sure we make whatever experience it is. Right.
00:47:32.760
There is some value to that, right? Like you could become even a better person through that
00:47:38.160
experience right before death. And I think that you might be robbing yourself of, of that opportunity
00:47:44.060
to grow at, at that time. I don't think it's your decision to make. If somebody has expressly
00:47:52.640
communicated to you that they want to die with dignity, then, then you're going to have to be the
00:47:57.020
one to do it. Why are you going to, why is somebody going to put that on you?
00:48:01.980
Yeah. You see what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? Yeah, for sure. I'm like,
00:48:05.100
if somebody comes to me and says, I'm in pain and I'm in, and I just want to die. I'm 80 years old.
00:48:09.880
I just want to die with dignity. Okay. Then do what you have to do. But why would you put that on
00:48:15.380
somebody else's shoulders? That's not their responsibility. It's not even their place.
0.90
00:48:19.360
But I'm thinking for the individual that, that might be tempted to say, Hey, I want to die with
00:48:24.680
dignity. That individual has an opportunity to still learn and grow and progress as an individual
00:48:29.320
if they're willing to drudge through the suffering that might exist for them.
00:48:35.180
Yeah. But I think they're probably in a lot of ways doing it for, for selfless reasons as well,
00:48:40.140
like to spare their family, the heartache of what it's going to, what they're going to experience.
00:48:43.640
I mean, there's so much, there's so much here that it's not like, yes, that's good. Or no,
00:48:47.600
that's bad. It's like, I don't know. Like, it's just an interesting philosophical question.
00:48:52.580
And on the surface, I would choose not to engage in that, but I'd have to think on it a whole lot
00:48:57.880
more. Yeah. And Ryan's going to sell his truck for a Subaru. Jason Clark. I did get some new snow
00:49:06.880
tires though. You're ready. I bet it's colder in Utah than it is. It was 60, 69 degrees yesterday
00:49:15.160
out here. Yeah. It was like 30 yesterday. Right. Oh, it was brutal. All right. Jason said it was
00:49:21.320
going to be cold in Maine. I'm like, what are you talking about? Whatever. That line's still going
00:49:25.300
for a morning swim. That's right, man. Jason Clark. I believe it would be valuable to discuss
00:49:31.520
the timeline. It's taking you both to make the changes you've set out via your battle plan.
00:49:38.040
Reiterate that significant change takes significant consistency and significant time.
00:49:42.620
Yeah. He actually, I was on the phone with Jason the other day and he actually talked to me about
00:49:46.820
this and I thought it was really valuable because, and I, and I made a Facebook and an Instagram post
00:49:50.760
about how long it's taken me. You know, I've, I've been on this path specifically for, for 10 years,
00:49:57.540
like this path that I'm on for 10 years. And it's taken me to get to where I am today. I still have a
00:50:02.340
long way to go, but you're saying a, a general path of becoming a better man. This is, is a deliberate
00:50:08.120
path. I should say. I see. Okay. Right. It's like deliberately. Okay. How do I improve myself
00:50:12.840
as a father, as a husband, a community leader, a business owner? How do I improve my abilities to do
00:50:19.800
that for 10 years? And I, again, it's still got a long ways to go. We spend decades, 10, 20, 30, 50,
00:50:28.340
60 years getting ourselves. I should say behaving ourselves into a certain circumstance, our life.
00:50:37.460
And when you want to change, you want it to happen overnight. I, like I, I used to be this individual
00:50:43.120
and now I don't want to be that individual anymore. So I'm going to do these things for two weeks and
00:50:46.180
then I'll be better. No, man. Decades of, of abuse and, and, and struggle and pain and making the
00:50:54.660
wrong choices and immorality and all of the other things that you want to fight against that takes
00:51:00.020
years of cleanup too. Yeah. So you're going to have to really exert yourself over long and sustained
00:51:07.240
periods of time. This is not like 90 day abs. This is like, what are you going to do for the rest of
00:51:13.040
your life to change who you are to, to remedy and rectify the man that you used to be. If you're in it
00:51:19.860
for the short game, we talked about this earlier. If you're in it for the short term, you might
00:51:23.380
experience short-term results, but you didn't create the foundational framework and, and bedrock
00:51:28.620
to do this thing for a lifetime, which is what is going to produce the, the, the sustained results.
00:51:35.740
So for me, it's taken 10 years of ups and downs and doing good and reverting back and fixing things
00:51:43.740
and making new mistakes. And, and like I talked to him last week's podcast, Friday field notes about,
00:51:49.340
uh, elevating my, my problems and getting over these minute problems and, and, and focusing on
00:51:55.540
bigger problems so that I could produce bigger results. Like it's just taken a very long time and
00:52:01.600
it will continue to take a long time and it doesn't ever go as fast as you'd like. And you don't ever
00:52:06.500
produce the results as quickly. Think about dieting, for example, how quick could you put on 10 pounds
00:52:11.300
and how much longer does it take to lose it? This is the nature of things. And, and if you're
00:52:15.980
unrealistic about that, then you're going to give up too soon because it's going to be unbearable
00:52:20.840
that you can't hit your objectives or the things that you want. So you could fool yourself and lie
00:52:25.720
to yourself and say, I'm going to do this in the next 90 days and then I'll be good. And I'll be
00:52:29.140
awesome. My marriage will be saved and my kids will like me and I'll have a promotion and, and you'll
00:52:35.860
feel good right now about that because you'll be motivated and inspired by that. But then it'll get
00:52:40.360
worse and worse and worse and worse every day that you don't meet that unrealistic expectation.
00:52:46.440
Or you could take a little pain right now and say, okay, this is going to take a lot of work.
00:52:52.320
This is going to take a long time. There's going to be ups and downs and struggles and bumps along the
00:52:57.180
way. I realize that I recognize that I understand that I acknowledge it. I accept it and maybe even
00:53:03.620
embrace it to a degree. And then as you go on your journey, it becomes easier and easier because
00:53:10.140
you've already acknowledged how difficult it will be. Don't be delusional about what it's going to
00:53:16.640
take because you're only setting yourself up for failure. I have to call out that there's a big
00:53:21.680
difference between an individual that is on the path of becoming a better person and the one that is
00:53:28.320
doing the same thing, but tracking, identifying objectives, maintaining tactics. Like those are
00:53:35.720
ones like at a way different scale than the other, right? We may have guys that are constantly working
00:53:40.980
on becoming better, but because they're not tracking and being highly super focused and intentional with
00:53:46.980
what are they going to do to do it? And are they doing it and constantly doing after action reviews?
00:53:51.580
I think there's a big difference between those two. Do you agree?
00:53:54.440
Well, I mean saying you want something and like generally having an idea about what it is and
00:54:00.900
how you're going to go about doing it is significantly inferior to knowing exactly what you want and
00:54:05.820
having a plan for getting it. Even if that plan isn't completely ironed out, having a plan and being
00:54:11.320
able to track it and, and, and having metrics to follow is infinitely better than, yeah, I just want to
00:54:19.280
get better. I think I'm going to work out. Yeah. I want to be a better dad. So like, I'm thinking
00:54:25.220
I'm going to do some things to be a better dad. Okay. Okay. I wish you luck. It's good. It's good
00:54:30.620
ambition. It's good intentions, but it ain't going to move the needle. Yeah. Yeah. And you know what?
00:54:37.060
Some guys just aren't, they're not to that stage yet. Right. So I try to be, I try to be aware of that.
00:54:44.280
Again, I think this just comes down to a level of maturity is if you've been down in the dumps for
00:54:51.300
40 years and nobody's ever taught you how to make a goal and every experience you've ever had with
00:54:59.620
anybody has been negative and people have beat you up and mocked you and ridiculed you and your
00:55:05.500
parents abused you mentally, physically, emotionally, sexually. Like that's a tall order is to say, well,
00:55:11.720
all you have to do is make a plan. Like just make a plan, like just make a 90 day plan and like have
00:55:17.580
an objective and then just do it. Like you'll be fine. That's what I used to think, but that's not,
00:55:22.840
that's not fair either because somebody who doesn't have some foundational knowledge is that's,
00:55:28.020
that's a tall order. That's an impossible task. It doesn't mean they're not capable of doing it.
00:55:33.420
It's just like, that's tough. Right. And, and exposure to good, good sources of information and
00:55:41.420
good people. And you have to build that, that framework before you can move on to the next
00:55:48.480
step and the next step and the next step and the next step. So this is a constant process of
00:55:51.920
evolution. That's why I talked about on that podcast is evolving your problems. Your problems
00:55:56.260
right now might be that you came from an abusive home and you're just trying to figure out how to
00:56:04.520
get a job or you were in prison for the last decade. And now you're a felon, a convicted felon,
00:56:12.280
and you can't, you can't secure employment anywhere. Legitimate. That's a problem. Yeah,
00:56:19.560
but that isn't, you're not going to go from that to solving world hunger. So your problem right now
00:56:26.840
is, okay, how do I secure a job? Okay. Well, maybe you're going to have to take a more menial,
00:56:31.820
menial work. Maybe you're going to have to make less money, right? There's all things, all kinds
00:56:36.080
of things that you could do now. Okay. Well, I got that now get a promotion within there or start a
00:56:40.160
little side business over here and see if you can grow that where your, your, uh, conviction status
00:56:45.080
doesn't, isn't as important. And so you start to elevate your problems, but you have to solve the
00:56:50.480
problem in front of you first before you move to the next complex problem. Copy. All right. We're
00:56:57.140
going to jump into our questions that were actually, you know what I'm thinking, Kip, what we'll do today
00:57:01.800
because we're bumping up on that hour mark. Okay. I think what we'll do is we'll save that for next
00:57:06.680
week and we'll get right into the Facebook questions. So these were all iron council questions
00:57:10.480
today. We got through all of those as well, at least. Okay. I think we should do that. And then
00:57:15.020
we'll do the Facebook questions next week. Sounds good. So on that note, um, the questions,
00:57:20.620
obviously iron council came from our exclusive brotherhood, the iron council to learn more
00:57:24.340
about that. That's order of man.com slash iron council. And then the questions that we'll cover
00:57:28.320
next week is from our Facebook group, facebook.com slash group slash order of man. It's, um, it's a
00:57:36.220
private group, so you'll have to go in and request access, but, uh, please join us there if you
00:57:41.200
haven't already. And of course, like your name and profile pick, then we'll invite you.
00:57:45.020
If we don't, we won't. And then if you're an idiot and you post stupid questions, we'll kick you out.
00:57:49.560
That's just that way it goes. So be ready. Don't be an idiot. Right. Am I wrong? Uh, I don't know
00:57:58.360
if it's idiot, but I think, I think one of the rules is don't be a dick. I think that is actually
00:58:02.920
one of the official rules in the Facebook group, which is really interesting because there's plenty
00:58:07.980
of men in there who can't follow a simple rule like that. But, uh, we do our best to keep it civil and
00:58:13.940
keep it relevant. Yeah. But there's a lot of guys in there. So it's, it is a task.
00:58:19.780
We have a good team helping us out. Yeah, for sure. All right. So we events, we have the legacy
00:58:26.280
event next year, June 11th through the 14th to learn more that's order of man.com slash legacy.
00:58:33.160
This is a father and young man event through the ages of eight through 15. It's an amazing experience.
00:58:39.880
Uh, one of our favorites now, I would even say over uprising. I, I, I, I, it's way better
00:58:46.200
than uprising. It's so cool. It is. Uprising has its place. No doubt. It's just not as rewarding
00:58:53.640
or fulfilling as the legacy event. Yeah. So if you have a young man that you want to, um,
00:58:59.040
kind of experience a little bit of a rites of passage and what it means to be a man and
00:59:03.320
to be pushed and, and to have a weekend of growth, learn more at order of man.com slash
00:59:10.440
legacy. And of course you guys can support the podcast by subscribing to the actual podcast
00:59:15.880
itself or the YouTube channel or represent and look good at the same time by going to
00:59:20.020
the store at store.order of man.com and, and get your guys's shirts, how it's wallets.
00:59:26.580
Are there wallets left? I joke around with my kids. You'll like this. I tell the boys, I'm
00:59:30.720
like, I'm like, man, I just got extra money. And they're like, what do you mean? I'm like,
00:59:34.160
I held my wallet up and it said order of man and an extra 20 came out of the ATM.
00:59:41.020
And then I go through the drive-through and I'm like, they're like, Oh, that'll be so-and-so. And
00:59:45.340
I pull the card out and I hold my wallet up as I give them the card. And I'm like, I see.
00:59:48.740
And they give you a discount. Discounts. Yeah. So there's built-in discounts everywhere you go.
00:59:52.140
You just splash that. Don't say that, man. People, somebody will actually hold me to that.
00:59:56.680
There's a lot of people who, uh, how would it be that you do it?
01:00:00.400
One time and someone goes, Hey, order of man. And they actually do give you a discount because
01:00:05.580
they listen to the podcast. Well, one of the challenge, we should try that. One of the
01:00:09.020
challenges we did in the iron council a long time ago is I think we were doing communication or
01:00:14.000
negotiation was the topic. And the challenge was for, for the day or for the week to ask for a
01:00:20.620
discount at every place you spent money. Just, just to get uncomfortable. Yep. Was the idea.
01:00:26.960
Yeah. So it's like, if you went to buy a clothes, like, Hey, do you have a discount? If you went to
01:00:31.900
McDonald's and got, uh, uh, you know, a McMuffin or whatever, Hey, do you have any discounts that I
01:00:37.960
can, that you can apply to that? And you had to ask for a discount wherever you went. And a lot of
01:00:42.700
people got a lot of discounts. They didn't expect they would. That's funny. That's really funny.
01:00:47.080
Hey, speaking of, uh, Oh, go ahead. No, you're good. No, I was just, it was a funny story. It
01:00:51.440
just reminds me of, of my daughters. They're so oblivious to things and they get discounts and
01:00:56.180
free objects on the regular basis. Like people are like, Oh, they're so cute. And they give them
01:01:00.040
stuff. Oh yeah. And, uh, we went skiing. They get, we come down to the lodge, they get in the line for
01:01:05.120
food, like them. And they're like two little friends and they just go through the whole line and
01:01:10.340
they get to the thing. And they're like, uh, that'd be so much money. And they're like, Oh, we don't have
01:01:14.560
money. Did they get it? Yeah. And they're like, ah, go ahead. Sit down. I'm like, what? They just
01:01:21.840
got in line and just asked for some chow, you know, get a burger and fries. And they're like,
01:01:26.500
Oh, we didn't realize it costs something. Super funny. Women learning to work the system.
1.00
01:01:32.400
Totally. All right. Check these out. We're speaking of clothes. Kip, you're going to like
01:01:36.020
these. Can you see these? I saw a post. I'm showing you my underwear. Those of you guys who want
01:01:42.000
to know what my underwear look like, you can go to YouTube, but, uh, yeah, I can contest.
01:01:47.860
I am not wearing them however, so you're safe. Um, yeah. Origin just came out with, uh, with, uh,
01:01:55.680
what they call under gear. And here's a pair. I've got four pair over there. Here's the, uh,
01:02:03.100
we, the people one, I believe that this is, or don't tread on me. I can't remember what it says on
01:02:06.680
it. Uh, right. Uh, what is it? Oh, right. To keep and bear arms. That's what it says.
01:02:12.940
Right. To keep and bear arms. It's pretty sweet. Check that out. At originmain.com. Use the code
01:02:19.900
order. You'll get a discount, but that's their under here. Peter, Brian made a post and, and, uh,
01:02:24.960
of those on Instagram. And I was instantly like, Oh, let me save that. I just got some yesterday. So
01:02:30.420
yeah. All right, guys. Increase your manhood. Absolutely. Yep. Absolutely. No doubt. But
01:02:36.340
you're going to have to buy a pair to, uh, figure that out for yourself. All right, guys,
01:02:39.440
we'll let you get going. We'll be back. What is today? Wednesday. We'll be back on Friday for
01:02:43.240
your Friday field notes. Until then, gentlemen, go out there, take action, become the man you are
01:02:47.980
meant to be. Thank you for listening to the order of man podcast. You're ready to take charge of your
01:02:52.880
life and be more of the man you were meant to be. We invite you to join the order at order of man.com.