Order of Man - Staying Connected with Your Daughter, Moving On From a Relationship, Floating Through Life

00:00:00.000 You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest. Embrace your fears and boldly chart

00:00:04.980 your own path. When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time. Every time.

00:00:10.440 You are not easily deterred or defeated. Rugged. Resilient. Strong. This is your life. This is who

00:00:17.160 you are. This is who you will become. At the end of the day, and after all is said and done,

00:00:22.700 you can call yourself a man. Sean, another episode of AM8. This has become a regular,

00:00:28.840 regular occurrence, I think, maybe. It is. People are going to be sick of us.

00:00:33.080 I want Ryan back. Bring Ryan back, please. Give me Ryan. I want Ryan. You know, whatever.

00:00:39.740 You want Ryan. I think he's in, where is he, in California? LA. Yeah, he's out on his way out

00:00:45.620 towards me. LA area. So, you are getting Sean and I for today's episode of AM8. We'll be fielding

00:00:54.680 questions, obviously, from Facebook. A couple from Facebook, but mostly from the gentleman

00:00:59.700 of the Iron Council, which is our exclusive brotherhood to learn more about the IC. You

00:01:05.220 can go to orderman.com slash Iron Council. It is not open. And so, my suggestion, anyone

00:01:12.300 interested in the Iron Council, sign up for the newsletter. Follow Mr. Mickler on Instagram

00:01:16.740 or Twitter, at Ryan Mickler, to stay up to date. And then once we open for a new cohort

00:01:25.140 in the IC, which is probably early March, then you'll have a short window to sign up and join

00:01:31.380 the next group of guys, the next wave of guys to join the Iron Council. So, and it's good.

00:01:37.220 It's fun. I like this wave approach because it's like, we just get flooded with all these guys

00:01:43.140 ready to hit the ground, getting after it, you know, really at the beginning of the month

00:01:48.760 of March. So, it's going to be cool to see all these guys kind of get on battle teams and

00:01:53.780 whatnot. Anyhow, you were saying, Sean, you're a little under the weather. So, you might have

00:01:58.620 a little bit of the sniffles, but, and you're talking about potentially moving, but I have

00:02:02.360 to ask this question because I was following you on Instagram and you surf and you've like

00:02:08.700 surfed for a really long time. And how's that going to work out potentially moving away from

00:02:15.120 California? Cause I'm assuming surfing is a big part of your life. Yeah. Just travel. It's a huge

00:02:20.000 part. Yeah. Always is. I'd never in a million years thought I'd be leaving California. Like if you

00:02:24.480 asked me even a year ago, you know, and yeah, it's changed dramatically. We'll just travel though.

00:02:31.420 We'll travel. We'll buy a place in Hawaii for it. Yeah. Just the difference of state income tax

00:02:37.880 between California and Tennessee is zero. Just that alone will allow us to travel and still save

00:02:44.320 money. Yeah. Well, one of these times I'm going to have to take you up on, um, get some surfing

00:02:51.840 lessons. I've been surfing a handful of times. Um, but I've never like been like, like Asia has taught

00:02:58.520 me what she knows, you know what I mean? But it's like beginner teaching a beginner. Um, but for me,

00:03:04.120 man, I just, the ocean makes me super nervous. And so I think my nerves probably get in my head more

00:03:10.540 than anything else. And, and maybe I just, a lot of people, a lot of people are really afraid of not

00:03:15.460 being able to see what's under you and around you. Yeah. Really. Yeah. Or just comfortable in the

00:03:21.300 water. Right. Like I, in fact, I, I actually probably will do this later this year. Um, sounds silly,

00:03:28.020 but I think my swimming is not very good. Um, and, uh, probably before the end of the year,

00:03:34.700 I'm going to sign up and actually get coached on swimming legit. Like I'm going to hire a coach

00:03:40.760 and I'm going to become a good swimmer, uh, just because it's an area that I'm uncomfortable with,

00:03:45.900 you know, and I, I do okay. Like I don't drown obviously, but I just, I don't, I don't have

00:03:50.940 confidence in my ability to swim. Well. So the biggest thing that fails people is the ability to

00:03:55.900 relax. It's even less the swimming and more just kind of to relax yourself, let yourself get pushed

00:04:02.240 around and, you know, let it kind of run its course and then, you know, calmly make your way to the

00:04:08.800 surface. And that's a, that's a large part of the battle. I use this story. Um, I use this story all

00:04:15.900 the time at work. Uh, and we, we talk about, uh, I'm in the space where I consider myself a specialist

00:04:22.600 in the space of knowledge management and information architecture. And, and that includes

00:04:28.080 how we disseminate information. And, um, the analogy that I use often is, and a lot of companies

00:04:34.200 get this wrong is what they'll do is they'll say, Hey, there's this important set of information that

00:04:39.240 I need to make sure all the employees know whether they need it right now or not. We'll blast them with

00:04:44.980 this kind of this email and then we'll expect them to like retain it for when they might need it.

00:04:50.820 You know what I mean? Which is highly inefficient. And that's not how humans work, right? We need the

00:04:55.060 information when we need the information, not, you know, 10 years earlier. Right. And, and, and this is

00:05:02.040 also the problem with our universities because they approach it from the perspective of regurgitating data,

00:05:09.140 um, which is really the lowest level of understanding. Uh, and then you graduate and

00:05:14.840 then you're supposed to like somehow be able to reference some data that you didn't fully comprehend

00:05:20.060 and you didn't act upon, uh, in, from a heuristic perspective and just come off memory. And it's

00:05:25.780 supposed to be going to like help you. But anyhow, the, the, the story that I use is my first time

00:05:30.900 surfing. I was with my wife and, um, and we were newlyweds is actually on our honeymoon.

00:05:37.520 And, uh, so there's a little bit of like, uh, I was checking my ego or I wasn't checking my ego

00:05:44.080 a little bit. Let's go surfing. And I'm like scared shitless. And these waves are kind of big

00:05:49.020 and I'm like, I'm going to die, but I don't want to tell her I'm going to die. Right. Cause I got to

00:05:52.300 be this tough guy. And so, so we're just surfing and, and we get ready and she goes, Oh, I almost

00:05:58.540 forgot a quick tip. And I'm like, Oh, what is it? She's like, if you get disoriented in the water,

00:06:03.800 uh, just reached down and grab the leash and follow it to the board. And I was like, okay,

00:06:09.760 like what would have happened if she didn't tell me that? And, and within the hour, no joke, I got

00:06:15.180 eaten, eaten by a wave. And I was, I was panicking underwater and I was like swimming, like panicking

00:06:22.260 to swim the surface. And then I remember what she told me and I reached out and grabbed the leash

00:06:27.400 and the board was the opposite direction. I was swimming. I was like swimming down, not up. And I thought,

00:06:33.360 oh my gosh, I like, would it completely died? Right. If she did tell me that, or maybe I would

00:06:38.640 have, I don't know, but nonetheless, like that's the example of corporate America. If that was

00:06:43.840 corporate America, that would have been an email earlier in the year saying, Hey, anyone happen to

00:06:50.440 go surfing? Remember to do this. And I would have deleted the email because I'm like, well, I'm not

00:06:53.900 serving right now. And then I would have died. Right. Versus just in time information. So, but, um,

00:06:59.520 I don't know where I'm going with this. I need coaching, Sean. I'm going to pee.

00:07:03.360 But if you don't live in California, maybe I'll, I'll, I'll hire you to, to meet me in,

00:07:08.420 in Hawaii or, or California to give me some teaching. So I love it. I've, I've probably

00:07:14.720 taught easily over a hundred people to surf, you know, and taking them out there. And it's,

00:07:19.040 it's, I love doing that. It's more fun than going out by myself sometimes.

00:07:23.100 Yeah. All right. Well, we, we got it publicly announced. That's why I actually brought this up.

00:07:28.100 After we hit record, just so you're, you're held accountable for your word here. So, um, all

00:07:34.400 right. So let's grab a couple of questions from Facebook, uh, guys to join us on Facebook. If you

00:07:38.700 haven't already, that's facebook.com slash group slash order of man. Our first question, Cameron

00:07:43.460 Miller, I'm active duty military, and I've decided not to get the vaccine. The future is uncertain.

00:07:49.780 So should I start reaching out to potential future employers in case I get discharged?

00:07:54.940 How should I go about contacting them? Is it weird since I'm still employed and not actively looking

00:08:00.200 for a job? Thanks guys. I don't think it's weird at all. I think it's prudent. I think it, it makes

00:08:07.780 the most sense. And, uh, you know, this, this, we could be talking about anything and this stops most

00:08:14.420 guys from success in most things that they do. And, um, you know, I, I, the reaching out to people,

00:08:21.840 the reaching out. Yeah. And, and the most recent thing I can think of is I have, um, uh, this group

00:08:28.720 in my business of men that, you know, it's kind of, it's, I don't want to say it's like the IC cause

00:08:33.200 it's nowhere as good or as much value, but it's, we have this men's group in our business, at least to

00:08:38.300 be in touch with all the men and kind of helping them out with things. And this month I'm having them

00:08:43.000 read sovereignty and we're going through the book and, and I told him, I'm like, Hey, if anybody's

00:08:47.640 struggling financially and you, you know, you don't want anybody, no, just reach out to me,

00:08:51.640 uh, individually, send me a DM, let me know you need the book. I'll send you one. You know, I I've

00:08:57.000 given out almost 200 of, of Ryan's books, you know, at this point. And, uh, and so I get some messages

00:09:04.320 from some guys and one of them, you know, reaches out and says, you know what? I'm, I, I didn't want to

00:09:10.200 ask. I feel bad asking, but I need it and blah, blah, blah. And my response to him was, you know,

00:09:14.820 I've made millions of dollars asking, right? And like, what's going to stop most people from

00:09:21.060 getting what they want is that fear of asking inconvenient, inconveniencing somebody, whatever

00:09:28.420 it is. And if you don't ask, you're never going to know. And so it's, I, I think that, especially if

00:09:35.280 he's looking for a good long-term employer, that's going to, to fit his needs, it's important that he

00:09:44.460 asks now, because if he goes in telling him why he's looking his current circumstance, his, his

00:09:50.860 feelings about the vaccine and that employer, um, that potential employer knows that now and they want

00:09:59.800 him, then he's covered all of that for future reference in that time. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So I'd

00:10:06.640 say absolutely. You should be putting those feelers out there asking, you know, different people. He

00:10:12.440 knows if they're hiring, if they're looking for people and just start getting it out there for

00:10:16.440 sure. Yeah. And I would communicate it right. Like, and you've already alluded to that, Sean,

00:10:21.460 it's like, tell these other potential hires, like, Hey, I'm in the military. I'm afraid of getting

00:10:26.420 discharged. I don't want to get the vaccine. I'm looking for a company. That's not going to force

00:10:30.140 that upon me. Like that's that for some organizations, they might be like, yeah, you're

00:10:35.300 our guy. We're looking for people that like have an opinion that just don't follow the status quo or

00:10:42.480 you know what I mean? Toe in line just because of, of some mandate or, um, that is willing to like

00:10:48.800 stand up for one's belief, right? Like that could be a positive thing for this particular gentleman.

00:10:54.140 And I, and in Sean, I just want to relate like something that you said is like, you've made

00:11:00.220 millions of dollars by asking really just to reiterate that opportunities are always through

00:11:07.120 people. Yeah. Growth opportunities in life is through another human. There, there is no like

00:11:13.920 elusive, like Walmart. There's no elusive corporate America that gives you your job. It's actually the

00:11:19.140 person hiring you. It's, it's other individuals, uh, promotions at work are through people.

00:11:25.440 New jobs are through people. And, and far too often, I think we assume, and, and I'm speaking

00:11:32.420 from experience because this is my default. My default is put my head down, bust my ass and just

00:11:38.880 opportunities will present themselves. Well, I'm realizing like, even now in my life, I, I,

00:11:45.260 I consider myself a, a career person, you know, I'm an expert in my field. And even now I'm realizing

00:11:52.320 how much I need to set expectation and ask for what I want, because a lot of people just assume

00:11:59.240 like, Hey, Kip's happy. He's killing it. Why change anything? And meanwhile, I might have this,

00:12:05.060 um, what's the, uh, no more Mr. Nice guy contract. Uh, Oh, you know what I'm talking about?

00:12:13.120 A covert contract contracts. Yeah. I might have this quasi covert contract with my boss or my

00:12:18.760 employer thinking, Oh, if I will do this, they're going to do this, but there's zero aware of that

00:12:24.380 expectation. And then I I'm around running around getting pissed off because my expectations aren't

00:12:30.760 being met. Well, you know, I haven't communicated those expectations with anybody. So, um, and this

00:12:36.620 is hard for me actually, cause I, I, I put value in opportunity coming to me without me asking,

00:12:43.360 like I use it as a, like a self-esteem thing. Like, Oh yeah. Like I'm really valued. And I'll even

00:12:49.480 second guess. Like, well, am I getting that because I asked or is it because they really think I'm

00:12:54.880 valuable in this area? And, and I've had this conversation with Ryan in the past and he's so

00:13:00.680 different than me because his response to this is like, well, who cares whether they gave it to me

00:13:05.240 because I asked or whether I deserved it. That's how I succeed. You know what I mean? Like I get what

00:13:10.300 I want and I proceed, you know what I mean? And I'm like, Oh, I want them to pick me because I'm

00:13:15.180 really valuable. Not because I asked, you know, like I'm, I'm such a, I don't know, emotional wreck

00:13:20.100 compared to compared to Ryan, but he will burn past or create wakes of destruction in his progress.

00:13:29.060 And we've talked about this. Like we, we were almost complete opposites, but I realized that,

00:13:34.240 that yeah, you got to set those expectations, right? You got to ask an opportunities are always

00:13:39.520 available in other people or through other people, I should say.

00:13:43.480 Yeah. And, and I think the biggest fear people have is that they're going to sound stupid,

00:13:47.720 you know, or that they're going to feel stupid or whatever. I would say the meaning that they put

00:13:51.240 on. No, would you say as well, Sean? Absolutely. The biggest thing is be as honest as you can,

00:13:57.200 you know, and the more honest, the better, uh, the more forthcoming, the better, because you're

00:14:02.720 going to find, you're going to land in, in more of a position that you want, where if you're not

00:14:06.320 completely clear and you're not completely honest, you're going to end up in another situation.

00:14:10.280 Most likely that you don't want to be in. Yeah. I love it. All right. Uh, original Chris lit

00:14:18.440 junior. How soon should high school boys and young men be taught the truth about our family court

00:14:25.020 system to protect them and prepare them? Oh, wow. This is interesting. I have, I have some thoughts

00:14:32.020 if you want to give, give some thought to it first, but yeah, I mean, my initial thought is

00:14:37.340 instead, why don't we teach them, um, clear communication and the things that are going to

00:14:46.360 keep us out of the court system, right? Let's, let's, let's teach them, you know, the, the values

00:14:52.040 and the communication skills to figure things out, to work things out. You know, I know with my kids,

00:14:58.380 I mean, I grew up in a, in a broken home, split, split home. My mom went through three different

00:15:04.840 marriages through raising us. And so, you know, I saw a lot of that. Um, and, uh, and she didn't take

00:15:11.640 advantage of it, which was always interesting to me, you know, where she complained about not

00:15:16.020 getting child support or whatever it was. And, but she never really pursued it when she could have.

00:15:20.980 And, uh, so I was able to see it, but you know, it was less about that and more about, well, if she,

00:15:28.320 you know, and the, the guys that she was with spent more time just increasing their communication,

00:15:34.060 increasing their relationship, not being stubborn, not, you know, taking things the wrong way when they

00:15:40.940 didn't need to, um, they would have maybe never been in that spot to begin with. So just that,

00:15:47.300 you know, working on themselves and that personal growth, um, you know, I, I personally haven't had

00:15:54.160 any conversations with my kids about the court system. Um, you know, and I've, I've two of them

00:16:00.240 are teenagers, two of them are younger. Um, but mine's more about, you know, choosing your partner wisely,

00:16:05.780 communicating well, um, understanding different personalities, um, you know, searching for what

00:16:14.140 people mean when they say things, uh, because like you and I, you mentioned you and Ryan, right?

00:16:19.540 The way you do things, you and I, same thing. We're different personality types. I could say

00:16:24.320 something and you may think, you know what? I would never say that to Sean that way. And you think I'm a

00:16:31.060 jerk, but my meaning behind it might be good, intense, pure, um, you know, I might even yell at

00:16:38.720 you for something, but for me, that's because I care because I I'm trying to help you. And if you

00:16:45.300 understand that about my personality, you're not going to take offense. You're not going to, um,

00:16:51.200 jump to conclusions, you know, but if you don't, you will. And so I think that personally is more

00:16:58.100 important than teaching about the court system. Right. And now I think it's important. Like

00:17:03.060 Ryan's doing a lot more work, bringing this stuff to light for guys that they start understanding it

00:17:09.440 or, or looking into it. But I think that's for guys that are kind of past the point of no return.

00:17:15.180 Right. And, and so, and that's my thoughts. It could be very wrong and, and off base,

00:17:20.900 but that's my initial thought. No, it's not wrong. Here's the deal. Default mentality for most kids,

00:17:26.940 I actually would just say default mentality for human nature is to be a victim. Yeah. So I'd be

00:17:32.240 very careful in regards to giving your children or your boys, any ammunition to be a victim.

00:17:40.080 And, and if, if you start too early and go, Hey son, the system's against you, right? The court

00:17:46.500 system's against you, you know, society's against you in this particular way in whatever that you run

00:17:52.440 the danger of your kid, latching onto it and going, Oh yeah. And, and, and being a victim about it now,

00:17:58.300 should they be aware for sure? But I think it's, it's, I would introduce that conversation

00:18:05.660 with a level of maturity of your, of your, of your boys. Um, my second oldest, I never really had the

00:18:14.540 conversation around, um, kind of social nuances that I feel are part of the boy crisis and that

00:18:23.140 are kind of stacked around men, whether it's the court system or, or a lot of other things, right?

00:18:28.320 I mean, we can say that if you're a white male, it's okay that you are somewhat reversed racist or

00:18:36.400 discriminated against because you're the majority, right? Like there's all these little nuances

00:18:40.620 that actually don't make sense. Shoot as simple as like opening the door for your wife or girlfriend

00:18:47.060 or, you know, like you're not allowed to do that anymore, right? Yeah. Or gender equality. But if

00:18:52.020 we go to war, you'll get drafted and not girls. Like there's, there's lots of little nuances and you

00:18:57.080 want to be very careful that you don't bring those up too early where your son will latch onto them and,

00:19:02.980 and be a victim of those circumstances. And I like your point, Sean is teach them how to stay out of

00:19:09.940 the court system, right? How to deal with relationships, how to honor their commitments,

00:19:13.900 how to choose a proper spouse. That's way more valuable. Um, and at one point when they're a

00:19:19.960 little bit more mature, I think you can introduce, you know, some of these nuances that they should

00:19:24.140 be aware of. Right. Um, it, yeah. So they can be careful, but I, I wouldn't do it too early.

00:19:31.160 Yeah. And you see this, I, I think I see it a little more probably in the Facebook group than we do in

00:19:37.580 the IC, but you'll see a lot of guys ask those sorts of questions. Like, Hey, I've been with

00:19:41.960 this, you know, I've had this girlfriend for eight years and it's up and down and, you know,

00:19:46.240 things aren't great. And what should I do? And then a lot of the answers are, you know, make sure

00:19:50.080 you get a prenup, make sure you do this. It's like, man, if you go into the relationship with

00:19:56.240 the expectation that there's a good chance that it's going to fail. Yeah. I can tell you it's probably

00:20:01.560 going to fail. Right. And so again, sometimes we set ourselves up for disaster, uh, by focusing too

00:20:07.780 much on that, on the front end, instead of, you know, finding the right relationship to begin with.

00:20:13.100 I heard this great quote, um, and I'm, I'm not going to be able to quote it accurately, but, um,

00:20:18.480 it was something to the extent of like, you know, couples always ask the question, is it better?

00:20:23.720 Is it better that we stay married and have contention and fighting all the time or get

00:20:31.220 divorced and have a happy home? And the answer is neither. It's better to stay married and get

00:20:37.860 happy and fix things. That's the answer. But far too often we go, Oh, it has to be this or this,

00:20:44.460 you know, and it kind of goes back to our mentality. You know what you're alluding to, Sean.

00:20:49.660 Well, it's work. People are looking for the easier route most of the time. Right.

00:20:54.800 Yeah, for sure. All right. Jason Todd, this is kind of interesting question. Uh, I listen to a lot

00:20:59.540 of podcasts, varying, varying subjects. Although one thing specifically in the manhood realm is

00:21:05.400 many of those podcasts are based out of Utah. Many of those that are in Utah are of the LDS face

00:21:11.520 faith. What do you attribute to the LDS faith that has such a strong focus on manhood versus other

00:21:17.660 Protestant face disclaimer? I do understand that you don't speak for all of the LDS church members.

00:21:23.320 I don't know. Have you had this impression that Jason has? I don't know. I mean, not growing up.

00:21:32.640 I don't know if I follow enough podcasts, but, or maybe I just don't know that, uh, that they're LDS.

00:21:37.820 So, yeah, I, I, the same, I don't really pay attention to whether they are or not, or somebody

00:21:43.420 is or not. Um, I can say not growing up in the church. It's, I definitely see, I think it's less

00:21:49.660 a focus on, um, manhood as much as focus on the nuclear family. Yeah. Um, and the role that men

00:21:57.640 play, you know, as opposed to the role that women play. Um, you know, but then you, I wouldn't say

00:22:03.040 that it's predominantly that over other Protestant, um, Christian religions, because like, look at

00:22:09.100 wild at heart, right. With, uh, John Eldridge. Right. I mean, that's, he's not LDS and that's one of the

00:22:15.500 best books I've ever read. I don't think Pressfield's LDS. Is he? No, I don't think so.

00:22:19.640 Yeah. I mean, it's just, there's, there's, yeah, Mansfield, there's numerous, you know,

00:22:25.140 authors or whoever else out there. Um, even Dave Ramsey, right? Dave, Dave with, uh, I mean,

00:22:31.080 look at the stuff that he's teaching. And, and he even said in the podcast with Ryan that, um, he looks

00:22:36.740 at what he's doing as ministry, you know? And, and so the foundations of the things that he's

00:22:42.580 talking about or, you know, along those lines as well. And so, um, most likely this guy is probably

00:22:51.760 just finding people that sound like what he likes and they happen to be LDS, or maybe they're saying

00:22:58.020 some of the same things. Maybe they're quoting scripture more often. Maybe they're, you know,

00:23:01.860 quoting some of the leaders in, in the church and he, and he finds that more appealing. Yeah. I don't

00:23:07.940 know. Right. It's like, if I like surfing, I'm going to be attracted to more things that maybe

00:23:12.560 talk about surfing and podcasts and then other things, but I'm going to, I'm going to catch some

00:23:17.560 of that lingo, some of those things that I understand more than, you know, someone like you who doesn't

00:23:22.200 surf at all. Right. Yeah, for sure. I, you know, the answer to the question though, I think it goes

00:23:27.860 back, you know, to pair paraphrase, um, the family is critical, uh, to the LDS church. It is at the

00:23:36.800 center, um, of that faith. And so you, you can't really have a conversation of the nuclear family

00:23:43.860 and, um, having clarity around your responsibilities without the conversation of manhood being part of

00:23:51.760 the game. So, um, so I, I think it's just really back to what you said. I think it's the focus on

00:23:58.480 the family that naturally makes manhood such a critical conversation. Uh, yeah. Yeah. I mean,

00:24:05.920 it's the plan of salvation is also called the plan of happiness. Right. And that, and it includes,

00:24:11.820 um, eternal families. I mean, that's, that's what the plan of salvation is. And so it's still,

00:24:18.820 it's always going to be the focus. Yeah. And I can't help, you know, I was, I was having dinner,

00:24:22.680 um, with a couple of friends on Friday night and we were talking about just high schools and,

00:24:29.620 you know, some of the BS and things that we're seeing, you know what I mean? Uh, even in our

00:24:34.600 conservative neighborhoods, you know, like little, little gray kind of coming into our middle schools

00:24:40.460 or our high schools. And, and it was funny because I even jumped on the bandwagon a little bit,

00:24:45.720 like criticizing the school. Right. Like, Oh, the school shouldn't allow this. And now, and,

00:24:50.600 and then I paused a second. I'm like, actually, that's not the problem. Problem is parents.

00:24:56.840 Problem is family. Uh, we shouldn't need schools to have certain codes of conduct. If

00:25:05.180 us as fathers and mothers and parents were doing our job. Yeah. Right. And, and, and, and there's that

00:25:14.080 always that dichotomy of freedom and safety, right. Control and freedom. They're always in conflict

00:25:19.500 with each other. And I think sometimes we jump on the bandwagon. It's like, Oh no, no, no controls.

00:25:24.200 If it's aligned with my values, it's like, no, actually, you know what parents need to step up

00:25:28.700 their game. And, and half the shit that we see in schools that we don't like, it's because of

00:25:33.780 parents not doing their jobs and, and, and just reiterates the importance of what we're doing

00:25:40.840 with order of man, what we're doing in the iron council, the legacy event, the squire program

00:25:45.640 that Bedros does. These things are so critical. Um, and, and it really starts in the home.

00:25:52.980 You, you mess up homes, everything else will go, go to crap. So go to crap. That's a technical

00:25:59.740 term, by the way. All right. Any other thoughts on that? No, no, nailed it. All right. Jefferson

00:26:08.220 drew out, uh, Abla. I'm 30 years old, married and have four kids, but I feel like I'm floating

00:26:14.400 through life right now without a destination site. Where do I start when I don't have any

00:26:20.260 dreams or ambitions left in me? So he's kind of like a little bit of a dark spot, right?

00:26:24.900 Lacks some hope. Anything that I've ever wanted to start or have started has been shot down or

00:26:30.420 bashed by significant others and or relatives. And I think that's obviously the key to the question

00:26:36.840 here. Yeah, I would say that's normal. First of all, uh, it's a normal shot down by significant

00:26:45.960 others and relatives. Um, yeah, that's a normal part, but just the fact that you feel flat or maybe

00:26:52.980 drifting. Um, I think that's a normal thing. Um, and honestly, I think the fact that it's happening

00:26:58.320 to you at 30, um, is, uh, is not a bad thing. Uh, it's just, it it's, if you can get a handle on it

00:27:06.520 now though, um, it'll serve you well for the rest of your life and, and, uh, you know, kind of the

00:27:12.620 building of your family. But, um, I know I've been there before where you just feel like you're going

00:27:17.580 through the motions. Everything's the same, especially with four kids. I have four kids.

00:27:21.440 Um, and once they get in sports and activities and it's real easy to start feeling like every day's

00:27:27.260 the same, right? It's like groundhog day and it's like, okay, wake up, take them to school,

00:27:32.500 do this, drop them off at this, drop it, you know, do this, do this meeting do right. And if your job

00:27:37.560 is monotonous that way as well, it's real easy to sink into that. And so, um, you know, you really

00:27:44.260 have to seek something different and the stuff that getting shot down is a normal part of that

00:27:53.660 process of change. Um, nobody likes change because it's work. And so whether it's significant other

00:28:01.420 friends, family, I mean, I know for myself, when I started my business and I was 22 and single

00:28:06.420 when I started my business and got backlash from family, especially my mom who was super negative,

00:28:12.700 you know, and she was the person I was doing it for, who I wanted to get some approval for too.

00:28:18.100 Yeah. Yeah. And so that, that made it difficult. And so if you're married and you're getting it

00:28:23.060 from there, I think again, back to the communication, having more open communication, why you want to

00:28:28.560 make a change, how you want to do it. Um, maybe taking smaller steps, maybe it's, you know, you start

00:28:34.280 with your fitness or, or something to give yourself more energy. I don't know. It's, I received it a lot.

00:28:39.840 I was in a flat spot and I read sovereignty and that actually woke me up to some different things

00:28:46.340 that I just started working on. You know, even if it was as simple as being a little more proficient

00:28:52.400 and firearms, right. Or maybe getting into jujitsu or whatever it was, right. Just baby steps of

00:28:59.980 starting to get into things that made me better. And that trickled into every other part of my life.

00:29:05.240 And, um, you know, and my wife is very supportive of a lot of things, but even she was kind of like,

00:29:10.260 really, are you going to do that? Like, we don't have enough things that we're doing already. You're

00:29:13.360 going to add more stuff to it. And now she's really grateful that we did. And so, cause you see the

00:29:19.240 fruit of that work of that labor. Exactly. Right. It's she's, she's seen a leadership shift,

00:29:25.280 you know, all kinds of different things, me being more excited for things, getting more done,

00:29:29.380 being more efficient, whatever it is. Um, you know, sometimes you just have to prove it. Um,

00:29:35.400 but you can't just prove it in spite of, you know, you have to gain support through,

00:29:40.080 through that proof and do it little by little. If you try and do too much at once, that's where

00:29:44.740 the bigger backlash comes from. Um, I'm trying to think of this, this book, the dream giver.

00:29:51.160 Um, I think Bruce Wilkinson, I think is the author of the dream giver. Um, it's a great short,

00:29:58.740 easy read. Um, and it's a parable about a guy, man, I'm going to mess it up. I'm not going to

00:30:05.460 try, but look it up the dream giver. And it tells the story of a guy who's trying to become somebody,

00:30:11.260 you know, and do something different. And they, they have all these funny little names,

00:30:15.780 you know, like dream stealers, you know, that show up when you start trying to pursue your dream and

00:30:21.060 things like that. But I think that that's helpful, um, in helping you understand like

00:30:25.800 all those things, all of the negative things that happen to you when you try and make a positive

00:30:31.160 change or normal and they happen to everybody. Yeah. Maybe don't, don't make it so wrong that

00:30:36.320 you get pushed back. The, the other antidote maybe is, um, or maybe word of caution. Don't do it for

00:30:44.560 them. That's the other thing too, because I, I think sometimes, even if it's in spite of something

00:30:50.440 will be like, well, I'm going to do this. I'm going to convince them. They're going to see me

00:30:53.600 this way, man. Like that's, that's a covert contract and it's outside of your control.

00:31:00.180 So whatever it is that you're working on, make sure that you're doing it for you,

00:31:03.820 that you're committed to it. The results and your growth that you will have will, will be a natural

00:31:10.060 by-product of you succeeding. And that will help their adoption of what you're doing,

00:31:16.100 but don't do it to win them. Don't do it to change their perspective of you. Don't do it that

00:31:21.600 way. Cause that's not, that's never going to be satisfying enough or they may not agree.

00:31:26.920 And, and you have to be okay with like, Hey, I'm committed to this because I want to get in shape.

00:31:31.880 And maybe they don't give a crap whether you're in shape or not. And, and it's got to be something

00:31:36.060 that, um, that moves and inspires you and that you're committed to for yourself. Um, not,

00:31:42.440 you know, uh, as a covert contract to change someone else's perspective.

00:31:46.780 And most people are fine with just being average and ordinary, uh, things being the same. They

00:31:53.440 actually prefer it that way because it's easier. It's easy. And so if you don't think that way,

00:31:58.540 you can expect that the majority of people are going to give some resistance to that. But like you

00:32:03.660 said, just keep focusing on your wins and, uh, and build it up slowly over time. And, and most likely,

00:32:11.200 um, they'll get on board as that, uh, as you becoming better helps to serve them as well.

00:32:18.640 But I think you nailed it, you know, with making sure that you're doing it for you, that it's what

00:32:22.960 you want. Yeah. Nick Taylor, when someone asks for advice yet, they are really only looking for,

00:32:30.180 uh, looking to validate their decisions they've already made. What approach would you guys find

00:32:35.200 appropriate to get through these, get through to these individuals?

00:32:38.760 I mean, you have to leave it on them and not on you. I think too many people get caught up with

00:32:49.300 trying to change people. Yep. And, um, where all you could do is teach correct principles and hope

00:32:56.180 that they govern themselves, you know, through that. Um, but don't stop teaching those principles

00:33:02.120 is what I would say, you know, keep at it and then simultaneously be an example of what works.

00:33:07.720 And that's your best chances of helping them to change. Um, but you know, you can't change people

00:33:15.800 that aren't, aren't ready, you know, but if you keep teaching, saying the same things, being that

00:33:21.240 example, maybe you catch them at a right time, right? Timing is everything. I used to hear this in

00:33:27.040 my business from actually from Ed Milet. He used to tell us that when you're talking to somebody

00:33:32.240 and you're passionate about what you do and you want them to understand it. Um, and they're,

00:33:37.580 they don't want any part of it. One of two things is usually happening. Either they don't understand

00:33:43.040 what you're saying or the timing's not right. And so, you know, most people are pretty poor at

00:33:48.260 articulating, uh, uh, a philosophy or a way of doing things, or even a feeling that's worked for them.

00:33:56.520 Um, and so, yeah, maybe a lot of times people don't get it, but I think more than that is the

00:34:02.020 timing issue. You know, if people aren't ready to change, it doesn't matter what you tell them.

00:34:06.300 Right. And so if you, you default to one of those two things, you're not going to get too caught up

00:34:13.660 in trying to change them. And you just keep doing your thing, keep applying the principles, keep telling,

00:34:20.980 you know, them those principles and, and hopefully it catches them at the right time eventually.

00:34:26.520 Yeah. All right. Timo, uh, Mueller, how to stay on track with the battle plan during vacations.

00:34:34.840 It is mere. Is it merely adapting tactics so that they fit into the day or are there other tips and

00:34:40.820 tricks that one could apply? So staying on the path during the holidays or during vacations.

00:34:46.720 I think it's circumstantial, um, you know, because if you're on vacation and part of your plan is

00:34:54.900 probably going to have to do with business connect, you mean? Yeah. And, and sometimes you,

00:34:59.980 you're not, maybe, you know, maybe part of your business plan is, you know, I'm making a hundred

00:35:05.200 calls a day or whatever it is. And, you know, if you're in sales at sales calls, maybe it's,

00:35:10.060 you know, client calls or whatever. Um, but if you're on vacation, maybe necessarily,

00:35:14.560 you're not going to do the a hundred. Right. And so kind of unpack the things that you can still do

00:35:20.000 to keep your habits strong. You know, most of that probably revolves around your fitness and

00:35:24.540 those sorts of things. I think that's, that gets most people, they go on a vacation and they just

00:35:29.120 don't do anything that they normally do. And then afterwards they're like, Oh my gosh, I can't believe

00:35:34.060 I did that. Right. And then they feel like they let themselves down, but if you just commit

00:35:38.860 to one or two of the four quadrants, right. Or, or whatever it is, and you nail those ones,

00:35:45.720 then you can still feel good. So I think it's, you don't have to get every single thing done.

00:35:52.380 Um, but making sure that you commit to the couple, you know, you can achieve while you're on vacation

00:35:56.920 nailing those. Yeah. Well, and I think a lot of us, it, it adds to the vacation, you know, like I,

00:36:04.400 I remember, um, years back I was training for a marathon and went on vacation, you know,

00:36:10.940 was at Disneyland for the week. Well, I just got up at 4am and got my runs in and guess what? It felt

00:36:19.820 great. Like I felt great. Like I, I felt good that I got my runs in while still on vacation. Like, so

00:36:27.620 far too often. Right. Like, I think we're like, Oh, it's vacations. Like the, the ultimate excuse,

00:36:33.040 you know, not to do something I would ask, uh, Timo is, would you feel better if you actually

00:36:39.800 still did your tactics while on vacation? And for a lot of us, the answer would be, yeah,

00:36:44.820 I'd actually feel great if I still did those things. So do them and don't use the, don't use

00:36:50.260 the vacation as the excuse, right. Be a little bit unreasonable with yourself and, and kind of do

00:36:55.940 what's crazy. Like I, I've been on vacation in the past where I I've been in Europe and I had team

00:37:02.760 calls at like, I don't know, like 3am in the morning, like kind of some crazy stuff. And I'm

00:37:09.760 like, guess what? I didn't regret it. Right. After the call, I didn't regret it. I thought, man,

00:37:15.480 this was great. Like, I'm glad I did that. So, um, you know, but in the same breath, like back to

00:37:21.780 your, maybe the idea is to be on vacation. Right. And, and to decompress and to get away from work and

00:37:28.660 other things. And so, you know, just make sure that you're not using vacation as the excuse,

00:37:32.780 I think is ultimately what I'm hearing. Yeah. And if you keep it in front of you,

00:37:37.040 if you're reading it and you've chosen those things to keep reading every single day, you're

00:37:42.160 going to find the places to fit those things in. I think, um, you know, as you mentioned the run,

00:37:47.280 I thought of, we went to Mexico when COVID started the first time and we were there and my wife and I

00:37:53.500 were sitting out by the pool and the kids were doing their thing. They started this like water

00:37:56.980 aerobics class thing, you know? And I was like, look how ridiculous literally the instructor was,

00:38:02.140 you ever see the movie, the proposal. Yeah. And the dude did like the, like stripper guy,

00:38:06.520 you know who I'm talking about? Like in that movie, like, like he, he, he was kind of like the,

00:38:11.380 the town, like entertainer, right? Yeah. This, this dude leading this look just like that guy

00:38:17.380 and acted like him. So I was like cracking up, but I'm like, okay, I could sit here and watch or let's

00:38:23.200 do it, you know, and then we'll get our workout in. And it was hard and it was, you know, it,

00:38:27.760 we might've looked ridiculous, but it ended up being a highlight for us. Cause we just had so

00:38:31.360 much fun and we felt silly, but we got our workout in and it was, it was finding it in that day.

00:38:36.880 Right. It didn't, it was there in front of us. We had the ability to do it. And honestly,

00:38:41.660 if I hadn't been reading that part of my plan and looking for the places where I could get it in,

00:38:46.460 I would have missed that opportunity. Totally. Yeah. We've done, we do that when we've gone to

00:38:50.900 the lake where we had unconditional workouts. And so we at like probably nine, 9 AM, we grab all the

00:38:59.460 kids. We're at the lake. We set up stations on the grass with some resistance bands, a pull-up bar,

00:39:06.620 an area to do burpees or whatever. We, we enlist all the kids and you're like, all right, we're doing,

00:39:12.440 we're doing, you know, circuits, you know, we'll set a timer. Ended up being like a family event

00:39:19.260 with, with nephews and nieces. Great time was had by all that wouldn't have been possible if we

00:39:24.900 didn't make that a priority. So it's like, you know, just make it a priority. It's vacation is

00:39:29.280 going to be fine. I think so. All right. John Jenkinson, what are the best strategies to use

00:39:35.540 to stay connected and keep open communication with your daughter as she enters her teen years?

00:39:41.280 My daughter has naturally gravitated towards my wife. So Sean, do you have a daughter and

00:39:46.000 how old?

00:39:47.460 And 16. So right in the wheelhouse, my oldest is 11. So I'm kind of like, I don't know how this is

00:39:55.140 going to, I mean, I have an idea of what I plan on doing, but yeah. Talk to us.

00:40:00.140 Yeah. I'm right in the middle of it, you know, and, and, um, she's our oldest and, um, and then

00:40:06.260 she's also very high energy, you know, she's diagnosed with ADHD at a young age and, you

00:40:12.140 know, a lot of these different things. And so like through the teenage years, it's almost

00:40:15.760 made it a little more difficult in some ways, but what I've done is, um, find the places

00:40:22.840 to connect and where that's. Yeah. And where that happened a lot where now she has a driver's

00:40:29.080 license, but before she did making sure that I was the one that was teaching her to drive.

00:40:33.920 Um, and so while we're driving around and I'm teaching her and helping her, we had tons

00:40:39.600 of conversation, you know, and so just finding that, um, and then that, that turned into finding

00:40:45.880 it in other ways. Now I'm involved with, you know, just her friends as she's, uh, going

00:40:52.860 out different places. I, I, I, I insert myself in a conversation, which at first was hard because

00:41:00.000 she was resisting it. She didn't want to talk to me about stuff, but the more.

00:41:03.920 Normal. I made it the easier it got. And then getting interested in things that she's interested

00:41:09.700 in, even if I think it's ridiculous, right? Like lately she's wanted, um, shoes, right?

00:41:17.120 She's gotten into like the air force ones and the, and the retro Jordans and stuff like that.

00:41:22.460 And so, so like she, she took an old pair and she repainted them and made them look really

00:41:28.540 cool, uh, like custom ones. Um, she got the shoe paint and all this stuff and she's super

00:41:33.760 into it. And so I just, I went in there while she's doing it. I'm like, man, just, just complimenting

00:41:38.820 her. And, and it was, it was genuine and finding, you know, all of the, her strengths, like, man,

00:41:45.520 you're so creative. You're so involved. Look, when you're really into something, like how good

00:41:49.600 of a job you do, look how focused you are. I'm so proud of you, man. That turned out awesome.

00:41:54.240 You know, and she's, it just became a little thing that she's excited to tell me about now

00:42:00.300 because I showed excitement in something that she's doing. And so again, whether it's her

00:42:06.100 friends and what, I mean, here we are looking to move right. And into another state. So obviously

00:42:11.680 she's not happy about that. This could be a really tense time where she just doesn't want

00:42:16.440 to talk to us. And so instead of letting it be tense or instead of letting her be angry

00:42:21.420 about things, it's finding, you know, ways to talk to her about those things and what

00:42:27.520 she's upset about some of the positives of moving, what it's going to be some things that

00:42:32.700 could help her feel better about the move. What are some, you know, what, if she had her

00:42:37.540 ideal thing in a new house, what would it be? And, and, you know, we'll make sure we look

00:42:41.900 for that and, and where we're looking and whatever, and not just her with all the kids, but especially

00:42:46.660 with her as a 16 year old girl and now moving away from her friends. Um, it's just making

00:42:53.080 myself a little more uncomfortable and seeking that comfort conversation. And it's a lot of effort

00:42:58.980 because they resist, you know? And, and so it's, uh, but I think what's worked the best is putting

00:43:05.900 her in situations where she can't go anywhere. And that's usually driving around. Um, when she gets

00:43:11.500 in trouble, if she like loses her phone or, or she's lost her car privileges a few times, I volunteer

00:43:18.320 to be the one to drive her to work. She works at Chick-fil-A, right? And so I'll drive her, I'll

00:43:23.560 pick her up all. And it's really just so you can get some nuggets. Yeah. So we can hang out so we can

00:43:28.840 talk. So yeah, exactly. Get some nuggies and an, and a Oreo shake. Right. Um, but yeah, that it's,

00:43:35.440 it's, it's more than any of that. It's, it's putting myself in a position where she stuck with me.

00:43:41.500 And, and we start having those conversations. I don't let her be on her phone. I, you know,

00:43:46.560 I talked to her or she's on her phone. Hey, what are you looking at? You know, what do you,

00:43:50.500 and she, sometimes she'll show me if it's Tik TOK or whatever, which I think is just makes us

00:43:56.340 use stupider. Right. And, but I'll, I'll laugh at some of it, but then also have some conversation.

00:44:01.540 Like, why do people think that's funny? Why do people think that's okay? Like, do you think that

00:44:05.600 just made you smarter or less smart watching that? Right. Like, like, why is that viral? Why do

00:44:11.420 people, why are people so interested in watching that? And, you know, and what are some other

00:44:15.580 things that you could do that are more productive? And, and again, it could be in one ear and out the

00:44:21.080 other, but honestly, I see it making a difference. I see her being more proactive and, and, you know,

00:44:26.700 finding things that serve her more. But if I didn't insert myself in a conversation with her

00:44:32.120 at this point, hundreds of times, um, it's, there'd be a giant gap, you know,

00:44:38.700 in our communication for sure. Got it. All right. Grant Grinswig, I'm going to be a dad for the first

00:44:46.380 time. And it was largely unexpected. What, and where should I be focusing my time and energy in

00:44:52.400 order to be prepared and continually lead my new family effectively as possible?

00:44:57.540 Um, this, in my opinion is, I don't think to make is harder than one. I think a lot of people think

00:45:12.220 it is. I think three was way harder than two. Right. And so I don't think two is much different,

00:45:17.480 but no matter what, with each kid, one of the places I think I see parents fail is they focus

00:45:24.460 more on the kids than the relationship with their spouse. Yeah. Or themselves. I, I would add to.

00:45:30.980 Yeah. Or themselves, you know, trying to get their free time there, you know, their, their things,

00:45:35.440 um, instead of putting more work and effort into the open lines of communication with their spouse.

00:45:42.080 Um, and so regardless of how many kids you have or what gets added, if your lines of communication

00:45:48.180 are, are working well with your partner, then, um, you can work through any of the kids stuff.

00:45:55.740 And I see too many people just focus on the kids and they get so focused on the kids that they forget

00:46:02.580 to pour more love on each other. And that breaks down that relationship, you know, which long-term

00:46:08.900 if that relationship gets affected, um, then that's going to be a detriment to the kids.

00:46:15.140 So that'd be my biggest advice is make sure you're still doing date nights. You're still,

00:46:19.680 you know, focusing on time and attention with, with your spouse and not just diving into doing

00:46:25.880 everything for the kids. Yeah. And the only thing I'd add is make sure you're taking care of yourself,

00:46:29.900 right? That your health is solid, that, uh, your mindset is solid, uh, and that you're showing up

00:46:36.760 in a very effective and honorable way. Um, and that's going to allow you to be in a position to,

00:46:43.080 to serve your children and your spouse. Um, you just can't overlook those two things. I don't

00:46:48.100 think, you know, taking care of yourself and a solid relationship with mom. Totally agree. Yeah.

00:46:54.180 All right. Chris Moser. I've had custody of my oldest for almost two years. He's eight. He has ADHD

00:47:02.320 and a very destructive nature. He also has a lot of boundary issues. How can I channel these things

00:47:08.920 into something positive? I'm having trouble getting through to him.

00:47:15.120 That's going to be a normal part of having a kid with ADHD, honestly. Um, you know, for us,

00:47:22.780 one of the things school was really difficult. So I don't know if he's homeschooling or if he's in

00:47:26.960 school. One thing we did for our daughters, we found a school that catered to her personality type

00:47:33.060 where they didn't make her sit at a desk. Cause that was near impossible, especially when she was

00:47:37.440 younger, um, where they let her literally, if she wanted to lay under her desk and do her work,

00:47:42.560 they let her do it. You know, if she want to go sit in a bean bag and do it, they did it. Now those

00:47:47.300 places are harder to find, you know, and maybe it costs a little more or whatever else, but for us,

00:47:52.120 it was an investment in her future, you know, instead of her being the bad kid at school,

00:47:57.100 um, it, she thrived and she did well. Um, you know, when COVID came, she was in a regular high

00:48:03.780 school that helped her adjust to being in a regular school so that by the time she got to high

00:48:08.880 school, she was able to do it. And then COVID hit and it was way too distracting for her to do it

00:48:14.180 online with, you know, 40 other kids. Um, and she, there was a quick downhill. And so we, you know,

00:48:21.180 immediately put her into another private school. That was more, that was one-on-one learning.

00:48:25.480 Um, so it costs more, it was harder, it was more work, but for her, we had to do it, you know,

00:48:33.860 on the home front, it was understanding that again, she can't control some of the things that

00:48:41.860 she's doing. So if he's being destructive or whatever else, we just started to build things

00:48:46.860 that maybe she could even destroy. Right. Or, uh, that aggression out. Yeah. Get the aggression out,

00:48:54.640 get the energy out. Um, there's just such an abundance of energy with kids like that. Um,

00:49:01.060 changing her diet was a major thing that helped a lot of it, um, suppress a lot of it and open up

00:49:07.100 some of her sensory processing issues and changing her diet. Maybe you look into that as well, you know,

00:49:12.520 instead of a lot of parents just try and medicate their kids. Um, I'll be honest, it's, it's hard.

00:49:17.980 It's a lot more work. Um, but, but work, you know, put in the extra effort. Um, I think the biggest key

00:49:26.220 is just trying not to make them a bad kid, you know, understand that it's not, they're not trying

00:49:32.180 to be bad. They're really having trouble processing different sensory things. Um, try and understand it,

00:49:39.780 you know, try and hold back your emotion when it happens. Um, and then try and nurture some of the

00:49:46.060 things that'll help get that energy out. Yeah. One thing that I would suggest is, um, Warren Farrell's

00:49:54.000 book, the boy crisis. Um, he, he has an entire chapter on ADHD and natural ways to, to help, uh,

00:50:03.160 deal with it. Um, and, and I, you're, you're going to have to come to this conclusion on your own.

00:50:08.020 Um, but according to Dr. Farrell, the majority of ADHD kids are actually improperly diagnosed too.

00:50:17.480 So be careful not to jump on that bandwagon too quickly. You know what I mean? When, when reality,

00:50:23.380 we're talking about dopamine management, right. And, um, you know, we live in a society where I think,

00:50:30.820 you know, it's just going to constantly get increased, right. Where, where everything is

00:50:35.560 instant gratification, right? Everything is, nothing is delayed gratification anymore. Um,

00:50:41.520 if I'm bored, I grab my phone. If I don't have something to do, I watch TV. It's always stimulus

00:50:47.040 after stimulus, after stimulus. And that looks, and I'm not saying it is, that looks like ADHD

00:50:52.880 because we get to the point where we're like, Oh, we can't just sit and think. And, and everything's

00:50:59.820 instant dopamine dumps constantly that we're looking for. I mean, we, our generation is doing

00:51:05.980 it, let alone other kids. And, and some of the stuff in that book is like, it would blow your mind,

00:51:11.220 right? Like, so for instance, a lot of what we do as children is a result of, of getting a hit of

00:51:18.920 dopamine. So when you do something good and mom and dad goes, good job, little Timmy, you're, you know,

00:51:25.600 such a good kid. You're so kind. I get a dopamine dump for that. Right. And we get these habits that

00:51:30.800 get formed that little feel good of mom and dad approves me that amount of dopamine versus the

00:51:36.860 dopamine that I get from watching like a cartoon. They don't even compare. We are, we are fighting

00:51:43.840 to get our kids to be conditioned against things that they almost have no chance to deal with

00:51:53.580 because of the amount of excitement and dopamine that they're getting from all this other stimulus.

00:51:59.960 So grab that book, read that chapter on ADHD. He even talks about, you know, if they actually are

00:52:07.280 diagnosed with ADHD, even some strategies around, you know, natural treatments, you know, and et cetera.

00:52:14.040 And so I, I would just be mindful and, and really realize what, what is ADHD versus what is not.

00:52:22.080 Uh, and, and, and I think far too often, I think a lot of parents are probably jumping the gun a

00:52:28.460 little bit. You know what I mean? With that diagnose, um, of their children. So kind of keep

00:52:33.100 that. And, and just, as you were saying that, I also thought on the destructive end, um, maybe get

00:52:38.880 them into jujitsu, right? At eight years old, that's a great time. And, uh, man, he'd get a lot of

00:52:44.400 that energy. Yeah. Channel it in a, in a positive way. Yeah. Yeah. Totally. Totally.

00:52:49.460 All right. Andrew Noel, how do you assess whether a long-term relationship, not yet a marriage

00:52:57.440 is worth continuing when it hasn't been going well, a little bit of background. We have been

00:53:03.160 dating for about three years. She has two kids who I absolutely love, but we are finding that we are

00:53:08.780 very different people. We both say we want to work things out and put effort into it, but we always

00:53:14.520 seem to fall back into old patterns and treat each other in ways that hurt. We have both broken

00:53:21.180 each other's trust, lied some, and we aren't sure how to move forward. Even though we both love each

00:53:27.160 other. I'm scared that the answer might just be move on, but I don't want to give up. Even though

00:53:32.880 it has been a rough couple of years, there's a lot of good, but it is a rollercoaster. The highs are

00:53:38.480 very high, but the lows can be completely crippling. I just, I think of, you know, I don't know which

00:53:46.940 one it was, but the podcast that Ryan did about the red flags. Yeah. I mean, it's pretty much all of

00:53:53.040 them right here. Right. It is you know, it's, if it's not getting better and if you've really

00:54:00.780 honestly worked on making it better to this point, um, I don't think it's going to honestly,

00:54:08.080 you know, and I hate giving that advice and without knowing them and their personalities or anything

00:54:13.020 else. Yeah. Um, you know, but if, if I think what stood out to me the most is that they both broken

00:54:20.320 each other's trust. Um, you know, it's, that's a hard one when you're already in a good relationship

00:54:28.840 and committed to each other and working on it. Well, um, you know, let alone if you're not right.

00:54:35.720 And I think the hard part here is if she has kids that you love, what I see anyways, in this

00:54:41.520 situation, a lot of times is that attachment is more towards those kids. You don't want to let them

00:54:46.400 down, you know, where they now don't have obligation. Yeah. And, um, and, and that attachment

00:54:53.760 keeps you in a bad situation. Um, you know, but I think three years is a long enough amount of time

00:55:00.160 to, to know. Yeah. Right. So I don't know if you think the same or what your thoughts are, but it's

00:55:05.580 just kind of, yeah. I mean, I struggle with this, right. Because you don't want to give that advice,

00:55:10.200 right? Like, you know, and, and I think far too often the natural, the typical case is we give up too

00:55:18.480 early. Right. So, you know, is, is Andrew giving up early? Did he really give it a good run? Um,

00:55:25.500 so I, I would just really get clear. Yeah. Obviously we're not going to, we don't know,

00:55:30.460 right. We don't know enough details. We don't know him. Yeah. Um, but I, I would get clear in regards to

00:55:37.420 why your, your, your wise, like, why did you ruin the trust? Why do you guys come to constantly,

00:55:46.480 um, have conflict and have these lows, like get really clear on how you're showing up

00:55:53.500 and the meaning that you're adding to maybe her actions that may not be necessarily truth,

00:56:01.160 but your interpretation, like I would get clear in that space. Why? Because you're going to do the

00:56:06.720 same damn thing in the next relationship. If you're not clear on those. So fix that shit now,

00:56:12.480 if, if, if there's something to be fixed. So I don't know if there is, but you know,

00:56:19.300 the probability is, I think most relationships are difficult because of the baggage we bring into

00:56:26.700 the relationship. And so I would suggest that you look at your baggage and figure out how that's

00:56:33.280 affecting how you show up as, as a spouse or a partner here. Um, and how that disrupts your

00:56:40.080 relationship. That way you can fix that at least confirm that it, it's still not good enough or

00:56:47.860 have that fixed. So then that way, when you, when you do consider like, you know, whether you step

00:56:53.440 away or not, that you've, you've grown from this. So if you're not a better man, like Andrew, if you

00:56:59.240 decide, Hey, it's not worth it. And you walk away, if you're not a better person after you walk away,

00:57:03.680 then this has been a complete waste of your time. So don't make it a waste of your time,

00:57:08.660 become a better man for having dated, dated this woman and for, uh, internalizing and growing,

00:57:15.740 uh, into a better person because of it. I like that. Tough though. Super tough.

00:57:23.980 All right. Isaac, uh, global. Maybe this has been asked before. Uh, you know what?

00:57:33.580 This is a Ryan specific question. So we're going to skip. Sorry, Isaac. We'll pull you up next time.

00:57:39.440 All right. Uh, Sam Broadway. If somebody wants to make a change in their life,

00:57:44.180 but doesn't believe in themselves to succeed, how can you inspire them to have faith in the process?

00:57:51.160 Is this one of those asking for a friend? Yeah. Yeah. It's a, uh, doesn't believe in themselves,

00:58:01.780 you, but they want to change. I'm going to approach this with the assumption that he's,

00:58:06.920 you know, trying to help somebody else. Um, and, uh, actually we can hit it both ways and maybe he's

00:58:13.140 the one that needs that help. I think you need to find their gifts and tell them what they are on a

00:58:22.440 regular basis, um, to give them small wins that they maybe don't see in themselves. And actually

00:58:29.660 not, maybe they probably don't see in themselves. Um, and it, it has to be genuine. It has to be true

00:58:36.640 about them. You can't just make it up like, Hey, Kip, you, you know, you're so outgoing,

00:58:40.840 I'll call BS on it, you know, whatever. Right. Um, it has to be true. Um, point it out, um,

00:58:48.180 make a point to find the things that they're doing well or doing right. Um, you know, so that they can,

00:58:55.020 so that they can feel good about themselves and their progress and maybe some of the things that

00:59:00.660 they're getting better at. Um, and then if it's yourself, um, that's having that challenge,

00:59:07.080 it's finding somebody that can do that for you, you know, whether it's a mentor, maybe it's a good

00:59:13.600 friend or, you know, somebody that can be like, Hey, will you just, you know, help me in this

00:59:18.900 process? I'm trying to get better at X. Um, I don't feel like I'm doing it well, or I'm doing it

00:59:24.800 right or making progress. Can you hold me accountable? And then also maybe, you know, point out, um,

00:59:30.540 when I'm doing it well. Um, cause I think too many times we focus on the negative and what we're doing

00:59:36.760 wrong and trying to fix our, uh, uh, the things that, um, our weaknesses when it's, we're better

00:59:45.540 off focusing on what we're doing right. And that builds those little wins, um, that build our

00:59:51.560 confidence towards us making larger changes. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, if faith and hope or confidence

00:59:58.420 is a result of success, right? Uh, we, uh, you know, in the book that we're reading this month

01:00:04.700 on our council, you know, if I remember correctly, one of the chapters, like he alludes to the fact

01:00:09.020 that, um, you have confidence that you know how to brush your teeth. Why? Cause you're good at it

01:00:14.540 because you practice it enough now. And we don't think about those things as like, Oh, I have

01:00:18.760 confidence. You actually do. There's a bunch of stuff that we're all confident about, but it took reps

01:00:23.880 to get good at it. Um, and, and something I I've shared with my son, my oldest son, Brendan,

01:00:30.060 you know, where we were talking about like mental fortitude and, and having a stronger mental

01:00:36.240 fortitude. And my question to him was, um, how are you practicing mental fortitude?

01:00:44.160 Do you wake up when you don't want to, do you work out even though you don't want to,

01:00:49.020 do you put in the extra rep? Like in the answer to, you know, from him was like, no, well then

01:00:54.740 why do you assume that you're going to be mentally strong? Like it's no different than anything else.

01:01:01.380 You got to practice whatever that is. Right. And, and six success can be found in a number of

01:01:08.020 different ways. And, and far too often in iron castle. I mean, we use this as an analogy all the

01:01:11.680 time. I, I already know what Ryan would say to this, start working out. That's what you tell this

01:01:16.640 person. Hey, it doesn't have any self-confidence. Not sure you can succeed. Start working out

01:01:21.120 because that's the easiest way, an outward way to, to generate momentum, to actually do something.

01:01:29.300 We feel good when we do something that is difficult and we like accomplish it and we overcame it.

01:01:36.420 Working out is one of the easiest things you can do to do that. So Sam, my answer would be

01:01:41.520 start working out every day, go for a run every day for this individual. And they will actually

01:01:47.420 start getting confidence in themselves and their capability to do hard things. But if you're never

01:01:52.480 doing hard things, you're never going to have the confidence to do them. So maybe a couple of

01:01:57.640 resources like atomic habits comes to mind. What other resources come to mind? What's our book of

01:02:02.980 the month that we're the confidence gap. Yeah. That's, that's really good. Another good book. I've

01:02:08.800 actually really enjoyed the confidence gap. So yeah. So yeah, just get on the path and start making

01:02:16.120 progress and look for those easy wins. Right. And, and maybe focus on habits and triggers and all that

01:02:22.520 kind of stuff to, you know, kind of hijack the process. The other thing is I have to actually add

01:02:27.120 one more thing. And we do what we're committed to. We talk about this at my work all the time. We say

01:02:39.660 that our culture is a culture of accountability, which a culture of accountability is an environment

01:02:45.740 by which all team members are trusted to be, bring their best work to the table. Self-directed

01:02:52.920 to do so. Accountability isn't me writing Sean saying, Hey, Sean, why don't you get your stuff

01:02:58.560 done? No, no. It's Sean actually doing it, having self-discipline and being self-directed. So how does

01:03:04.900 one get self-directed? Their commitment level to what it is that they're working on. And so then you

01:03:12.160 might ask yourself, well, then Kip, how does one get committed? First, I would say whatever it is that

01:03:18.120 you're working on. So, and Sam, we don't know if you're talking about you or someone else, but I

01:03:24.000 would say is this individual, you said they, they want to make a change in their life. Is that change

01:03:32.840 so clear to them that they're moved, touch and inspired?

01:03:37.220 And so I'd be asking the reason I'd be asking the question, why, why do they want to change in their

01:03:46.440 life? And their why may be weak. Ah, you know, I want to be, um, you know, I just want to, you know,

01:03:53.580 be more like not strong enough. Most likely it's weak. Yeah. It's weak. They need to get super clear

01:04:00.360 why they want to change your life. Guaranteed. Once that's strong enough, all of us will change.

01:04:06.140 But it may not be strong enough for them, right? Maybe they have to hit rock bottom or they need

01:04:13.220 to get way more clever and clear in regards to why their commitment to change is so critical.

01:04:19.560 And we're all a little bit different, right? But we, I would challenge, figure out what that is.

01:04:25.300 And so much that it drives in the, the term I like to use is that they're moved, touching,

01:04:31.560 inspired, that they're moving, touching, and inspired by why they need to make a change.

01:04:35.340 And they're committed to it. Now it's just execution.

01:04:39.280 Yeah. I had one last thought too, that, um, help them be cognizant of their environment.

01:04:44.600 Um, because if they're in a drag down, yeah. If they're in a bad environment, you know,

01:04:49.500 you look at most corporate jobs, right? They just focus on your weakness. They tell you what

01:04:53.440 you're not doing right. They'll, you know, you could go a thousand days of never being late and

01:04:58.400 they, they never praise you for that. And the first day you show up late, then they're all over you.

01:05:02.840 Right. And it's the only time you get recognized is when you do something wrong. And, um, I thought

01:05:07.960 about this the other day, cause we're starting baseball out here by us. And I'm going to be

01:05:11.680 coaching my boys and you, we have these coaches interviews, you know, and they ask you, I've

01:05:16.700 been coaching like seven or eight years now. And, um, and every time I think of, they ask, you know,

01:05:22.240 why, what do you think makes you a good coach? And, and my answer is always, I just, I focus on the

01:05:26.860 positive with the boys that I coach. I'm not the guy that's out there telling them what they did

01:05:31.060 wrong. And I, I look at like, there's so many kids, you know, I have a son who's 13 now and all the

01:05:37.800 best kids that were in his league when he was small, almost none of them play anymore because

01:05:43.640 they got onto these better teams. They were naturally really good at it, but because those

01:05:49.280 teams are so competitive and their coaches are so competitive, they tend to yell at them the whole

01:05:53.340 time and they don't want to play anymore, you know, because they're just in this negative

01:05:57.500 environment. So here you have kids that are naturally really talented and really good at

01:06:01.960 something that just don't want to do it because they, they, maybe they don't think they're that

01:06:07.860 good at it because all they hear is their flaws in this thing, even though they're exceptional.

01:06:13.020 Right. And so environment has a lot to do with that where, you know, maybe you'd need to shake

01:06:19.020 that up too, to, to put yourself in a position, you know, it doesn't mean you quit your job or

01:06:23.720 whatever else, but just place yourself in places that are going to, um, help you focus on more of

01:06:30.540 the good. Yeah. Who are you banding with? You know, what your circle of influence? Yeah, absolutely.

01:06:35.620 Good point. All right. Jason Smith. I live in California in a more conservative area. I know

01:06:41.300 Sean did as well. I love living close to our family, being established in my church and building a

01:06:46.360 community. Do you think with the, uh, exemplary leadership and change, California can, can be a

01:06:53.180 place of more neutrality and sanity again, or do you think it's far too gone and we'll need to leave

01:06:59.360 to get a suitable environment for our families? I've really struggled with this one. And, um,

01:07:06.000 you know, especially with you starting off today with, uh, yeah, we want to get out of California.

01:07:11.580 Yeah. And here's the thing we do and we don't, I'd love it here. I love where we live. We live

01:07:16.160 like he's talking about, we live in this nice little pocket. It's a little more conservative.

01:07:19.500 We have great friends. We, you know, it's almost like the sandlot, our neighborhood, you know,

01:07:24.440 the kids ride their bikes anywhere they want. We don't worry about them. I mean, it's, it's fantastic.

01:07:29.620 Um, you know, and, and could strong leadership come in and really make a change in California?

01:07:35.940 Yes, but it's going to take a long time. Um, you know, Joe Rogan posted a thing today that showed

01:07:41.960 about all these trains getting, uh, hijacked in LA right now. They're literally guys are jumping onto

01:07:48.160 trains at the, at the train station where after they've loaded from the docks and they're jumping

01:07:54.060 on with bolt cutters, passenger trains. No, no, they're cargo trains. Okay. So they're jumping on

01:08:01.260 with bolt cutters. They're, they're cutting off the locks, opening up these crates and literally just

01:08:07.580 pulling whatever they want out of these things and anything they don't want, they just throw on

01:08:12.720 the tracks. If you just look it up on Joe Rogan's thing, it's, it's, it's crazy, you know, and that's

01:08:18.700 one thing I didn't know was happening, but you look at the homeless thing, you look at, I mean, there's

01:08:22.580 just so many things happening in California that are so far down this road, you know, and, and all the

01:08:30.040 guys that are getting caught doing these things, they're getting a slap on the hand and they're back out on

01:08:34.000 the street the next day, you know? And so that's all because of policy here. So yeah. Could someone

01:08:41.060 come in and start to clean that up and whatever else? Yeah. Um, like that happened in New York,

01:08:46.240 right. With, um, with, uh, oh my gosh, I'm spacing out. Oh, back in the nineties. Uh, yeah. Who came in

01:08:55.340 there? Giuliani, Giuliani, right. But it took 10 years, right. I mean, it took a long, long time,

01:09:03.400 um, to clean it up and then now it's a mess and then some again. Right. And so, yeah, it could.

01:09:09.940 Um, but are you going to keep somebody with that type of leadership in California for that long?

01:09:16.760 I don't know, you know? And, and so it's, you could tough it out and, uh, you know, kind of test

01:09:24.220 your fortitude, um, or put yourself in a place that gives you your, you and your family, it's best

01:09:31.080 chances, you know? And so there's too many things trickling in that I see already in our home. And

01:09:37.180 that's, what's gotten us to want to move. You're having to sacrifice your, your kids by staying

01:09:43.300 possibly. Yeah. And again, it's, and some people might say, well, you know, be tougher,

01:09:50.040 have more fortitude, you know, work harder. Um, or we could give our family its best chances

01:09:56.560 generationally by, you know, being somewhere else that's, that's has the environment and the policies

01:10:04.520 and everything else that we'd rather. And I'm not thinking even just myself or my kids, I'm thinking

01:10:10.580 grandkids and their grandkids, what's going to give them their best chances of happiness. You know,

01:10:15.040 we talked about the plan of happiness before and, and, uh, the, the nuclear family. Um, so that's our

01:10:23.220 thought process, right? What's going to give us our best chances. So yeah. Could we come back?

01:10:29.080 Absolutely. Um, do I want to bank on it at this point? Not anymore. Right. That's just me personally.

01:10:35.240 All right. Nathan Blaser, two questions. First, what are some helpful tools to channel focus at

01:10:42.240 times when you can't focus on tasks at hand, especially one that, you know, needs to be

01:10:48.020 completed. And then second, what are some keys to developing into a person who's consistently put

01:10:53.940 themselves in the best positions to win kind of related question a little bit, but yeah. And it goes

01:11:01.380 to atomic habits. Um, also the power of habit is another book. They basically teach very similar

01:11:06.680 principles. Deep work. I would say I would add deep work to this list. Yeah. And, and for me

01:11:12.280 personally, I'm not a structured guy. So I think you're probably more of a structured guy. Naturally

01:11:18.420 I'm not. Um, and so I need things in place that are going to help me be more structured. One of those

01:11:23.900 things is at night, um, assessing what needed to get done that maybe didn't and making those priorities

01:11:29.860 for the next day. This is also, um, the, the seven habits, a highly effective people, right? Covey,

01:11:34.940 um, is along those lines as well. Um, finding the most important things for the next, next day,

01:11:40.980 making a list. If I don't have a list, I'm, I'm distracted and all over the place and making sure

01:11:46.160 I'm getting those things done. Um, using the battle plan, the battle planner is a good tool

01:11:51.140 to keep me focused on those four most important things and making sure, um, I'm ticking off my,

01:11:57.460 my daily tactics. Um, you know, and so the combination of those things are tools that

01:12:03.320 have worked for me, not being a very structured person. Um, and then just the consistency of

01:12:10.040 focus on what I'm trying to achieve and what's important to me that why you were talking about,

01:12:16.080 you know, that being strong enough to, to keep me on the path of focus, but, um, you know,

01:12:24.060 where I used to just kind of default go to, well, I'm just not organized. And that was my excuse.

01:12:32.080 Um, so I had to take away that excuse and start getting more organized and then finding what

01:12:36.760 worked for me. Right. I had a physical planner. I used to use the Franklin Covey planners for a lot

01:12:42.220 of years. And then that changed into some other planners. Now I use my phone, you know, for scheduling

01:12:47.880 things and reminders and things like that, um, that keep me on track. Um, the battle planner,

01:12:54.320 I use, I started using the app and, and now I use a combination of the app with the reminders for the,

01:13:01.740 from the battle planner app. It gives me a little reminders at night to, to make sure I double check

01:13:06.980 my stuff, but then the physical battle planner, you know, and looking at those physically every day

01:13:13.080 and writing stuff down actually works better than just pulling them up in the app for me. So it's

01:13:18.160 kind of a combination of the two. Right. So those are some tools I use. And then knowing myself well

01:13:26.500 enough, you know, figuring myself out well enough to figure out what's going to work best. And I found

01:13:32.780 that it's kind of the combination of different things. Yeah, for sure. Yeah. I mean, I wouldn't add

01:13:38.280 much, I mean, calendar tasks, um, you know, focus, uh, I would time box it at least. So if there's

01:13:45.960 something that you don't want to do, literally put on your calendar, like, okay, at noon, I have 30

01:13:51.800 minutes to do task X or whatever, and, and give it your all. And when the 30 minutes are up, stop

01:13:58.420 working on it. So I would give yourself some deadlines in regards to what that looks like. You know,

01:14:04.320 it's amazing what happens when, you know, something needs to be done and I have a follow-up meeting and

01:14:09.580 I schedule a follow-up meeting and I'm like, all right, got to get done before that meeting. Right.

01:14:14.560 And, and it's amazing what we can accomplish when, um, when we have limited time, uh, you know,

01:14:22.620 people get super focused and, and you can accomplish a great deal of things. So I would create that into

01:14:27.400 your environment. Right. So you can have moments of super focus. And like Sean said, you know,

01:14:32.860 know yourself, you know, uh, I can't do this with the TV on. Oh, no brainer. Don't work in front of

01:14:40.240 the TV, right? Like do things that, you know, um, are going to work and avoid the temptations of the

01:14:47.440 typical distractions that you're going to get at our job. We have these busy lights that we put on

01:14:52.680 our desks. If it's purple, that means no one walks up to me. Zero. No one can talk to me when that

01:14:59.860 light's purple. That's our busy light. That's my deep focused work light. That way we're kind of

01:15:04.660 honoring each other. And so you might even need to enlist people, right? Like, Hey, when honey,

01:15:10.140 when I'm in the office and the doors locked or closed, that's like, I'm deep work. So look at

01:15:16.640 that book, uh, Cal Newport, deep work, seven habits of highly effective people. Stephen Covey

01:15:22.520 was the other ones that we power habit, power of habit. Yeah. So I would, I would get some

01:15:28.960 resources and the last atomic habits, atomic habits. That's right. And the last question

01:15:33.200 he had is like, he's developing a person who's consistently put themselves into best position

01:15:37.540 to win, win in the position you're in. That's how, whatever it is, whatever your lot is right now,

01:15:44.300 are you winning? Are you killing it? That's how you put your, in the best yourself in the best

01:15:49.600 position to continue to win is win with whatever's been handed to you right in the moment.

01:15:54.360 Yeah. And then you mentioned the distractions, you know, I thought of like a lot of the schools,

01:15:58.420 they have these little, um, pouches that the kids have to put their phones in when they go into class

01:16:03.560 so that they don't have that distraction, right? It's hung up. Maybe you have to do that at home,

01:16:07.980 you know, and get rid of those things. Um, maybe you need to literally get rid of your TV.

01:16:14.400 You know, I, I didn't have a TV for six years. Um, just got rid of it because I didn't

01:16:19.380 want to have even the ability to walk in the room and turn it on.

01:16:23.380 Yeah. Our TV is downstairs in a room, which Asia and I will never walk down to turn on.

01:16:29.680 Thus, we never watch TV.

01:16:31.820 Yeah. So put those systems in place that remove distractions and, you know, and, and help you

01:16:37.440 to stay more focused. Okay. Last question, Abe Garcia, this is a quick one. So I want to throw

01:16:42.040 it in before we wrap up. Um, okay. Hear me out. He says, what do you think of an in-house order of

01:16:47.420 man? I see BJJ tournament or a battle team BJJ tag team matches, maybe at least at the order of

01:16:55.540 man, jujitsu camp or at origin. So I actually brought this up to Ryan and he's like, Hey,

01:17:00.320 if we get enough guys that are coming to origin next year, yeah, we'll make the arrangements

01:17:04.800 and we'll make it happen. So, um, you know, maybe we'll pull some, uh, Ryan will pull some

01:17:10.700 strings and we'll get some Matt dedicated Matt time for, uh, for an in-house, uh, iron council

01:17:17.700 order of man tournament. So, um, so there you go. Yeah. Abe it's, it's on the list. I think the key

01:17:24.280 thing is we get a big enough group going to, uh, origins immersion camp, you know, we can make

01:17:28.940 anything happen. So, all right, Sean, uh, I'm going to go ahead and wrap up. So, uh, a couple

01:17:34.580 of things we mentioned the iron council. If you guys want to join us, um, we'll probably have

01:17:39.100 openings at the beginning of March. Um, but to know when those openings happen, uh, you need to

01:17:44.940 connect with us. And so you can connect with Mr. Mickler on instant, uh, and Twitter at Ryan

01:17:50.200 Mickler that's M I C H L E R as well as go to order man.com slash iron council, sign up for the

01:17:58.300 newsletter. So you get properly notified, uh, when we open that up. And as always, if you want to get

01:18:03.240 your order of man swag, visit the store, um, at store.orderofman.com. What else have we talked

01:18:10.980 about? Battle planner. Battle planner. Yep. So you can get the battle planner app on your mobile phone

01:18:17.020 by going to the number one, two week battle planner.com, or you can also sign up for the

01:18:24.280 battle ready program, which is a free 30 day program by going to order of man.com slash battle

01:18:30.260 ready. Good stuff. Good day, sir. Thank you guys. And until, uh, let's see Friday field notes,

01:18:38.760 take action and become the men you were meant to be. Thank you for listening to the order of man

01:18:43.600 podcast. You're ready to take charge of your life and be more of the man you were meant to be.

01:18:48.320 We invite you to join the order at order of man.com.

01:18:54.280 You're ready to join the order of man.com.

Order of Man - January 19, 2022

Staying Connected with Your Daughter, Moving On From a Relationship, Floating Through Life ｜ ASK ME ANYTHING

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