Order of Man - Staying on the Path, Losing Everything and Starting Over, and Managing a Temper ｜ ASK ME ANYTHING

00:00:00.000 You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest, embrace your fears, and boldly chart

00:00:05.000 your own path. When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time, every time.

00:00:10.440 You are not easily deterred or defeated, rugged, resilient, strong. This is your life. This is who

00:00:17.240 you are. This is who you will become. At the end of the day, and after all is said and done,

00:00:22.800 you can call yourself a man. Gentlemen, what is going on today? My name is Ryan Michler,

00:00:27.660 and I am the host and the founder of this podcast and the movement that is Order of Man.

00:00:32.080 Now, normally on Wednesdays, you'd be hearing from not only myself, but also Kip Sorensen,

00:00:37.220 my co-host for these Ask Me Anything episodes. He's in Hawaii, so I am running solo. And that's

00:00:43.560 the beauty of having this partnership is that when I'm gone, he can carry forward the task at hand.

00:00:50.660 And when he's gone, I can do the same. So for the next couple of weeks, you get to hear from me

00:00:54.660 regarding the questions that you guys are asking in the Facebook group and in the Iron Council,

00:01:00.460 which is our exclusive brotherhood. Now, normally we'd get right into these,

00:01:04.700 but before I get into the questions, I want to make sure that I share with you, we've got an event

00:01:09.640 coming up in August, August 10th and 11th, 2019 in Maine on my new property that we just bought and

00:01:17.780 moved into about three weeks ago, a little over three weeks now. It is again, August 10th and 11th.

00:01:25.140 We've got some events. We've got some introduction to the network and the framework that you as a man

00:01:31.840 need to be successful. A lot of tools and resources and discussions and banding with other like-minded

00:01:36.700 men. We've only got, I want to say we've got less than 30 spots. Now we have 75 total. So it's a

00:01:43.900 very exclusive event, only 75 guys. I've got 40, 45 guys that are already signed up and registered.

00:01:50.100 If you want to be one of the 75 and one of the remaining 30, then go get registered as quickly

00:01:56.260 as possible. Again, it's August 10th and 11th. There's a special dinner on the 9th for members

00:02:00.780 of the Iron Council. You can do that at orderofman.com slash main event, main event, and it's

00:02:07.140 main as in the state main. So orderofman.com slash main event. All right, guys, that's the only

00:02:12.060 announcement. I want to get right into these questions because we've got quite a few. In

00:02:16.760 fact, as I'm looking through these questions, I don't think we'll get through all of them

00:02:22.240 today, but I'll do my best. That is my ultimate goal. I'll share my perspective and my insight.

00:02:27.620 I'm not going to be so bold as to tell you that it's always correct or it's the only way

00:02:31.820 of doing things, but hopefully it gives you some insight into ways that you can improve

00:02:35.580 yourself as a man as well. All right, let's get into it. First things first. Now these are

00:02:40.760 from the Facebook group because we didn't have any from the Iron Council because we had these as

00:02:44.640 leftovers. So these are all from the Facebook group from a couple of weeks ago that we just

00:02:48.700 didn't have the time to get to. All right. Just to eat Flores says, are you willing to try veganism

00:02:53.600 at least a week? If not, wouldn't that be not wanting to stepping outside of your comfort zone?

00:03:02.420 All right. I like this question because it brings up an interesting discussion because I think

00:03:07.920 the premise is wrong. It says, if not, wouldn't that be not wanting to step outside of your comfort

00:03:11.940 zone? I understand what he's trying to say. I really do. But when it comes to stepping outside

00:03:17.800 of your comfort zone, I really believe it should probably be something that's relevant to you.

00:03:22.540 And for me, trying veganism has no relevancy necessarily in my life. So it's not about being

00:03:30.120 scared of veganism. It's not about being too comfortable or complacent with my current diet.

00:03:35.400 But it's just that it's not relevant at all to me. So I think we ought to be careful of saying,

00:03:40.420 well, if you don't do this, it's not stepping outside of your comfort zone. No, it just means

00:03:44.240 you may not have a desire to do that. On the other hand, stepping outside of your comfort zone

00:03:48.980 is doing something that is a relevant to you and be something that probably scares you a little bit

00:03:54.880 and is keeping you in a place where you don't necessarily want to be. I happen to like eating

00:04:01.280 meat. I'm a hunter. I enjoy it. So I have no desire or ambition to try veganism. Would I try it? Sure.

00:04:09.660 Nothing against it necessarily. Just not something I'm necessarily interested in. That's my take on

00:04:15.200 that. All right. Number two, James Patton says, I'm going to be a first time dad in January.

00:04:20.080 Congratulations, James. That's an exciting time. Scary, but exciting. He says, what is the most

00:04:24.500 important piece or pieces of advice that you would focus on? If you were in my shoes, I'm pretty

00:04:30.500 freaked out. So any tips are appreciated. James, let me tell you this. First and foremost,

00:04:35.480 I get being freaked out. You should be a little freaked out. In fact, the fact that you're freaked

00:04:39.620 out says that you are on the right track because you care about it. If you were indifferent to it,

00:04:45.840 that would be a little, a little scary to me. It would probably be a sign that you don't really care,

00:04:51.860 but because you're freaked out, you care. You want to be a good dad. You want to be productive.

00:04:55.280 And that's a good thing. It's good to feel that way. And you should feel that way because it's

00:04:59.540 scary. There's a lot of uncertainty. There's a lot of unknown. There's a lot of variables. It's

00:05:04.540 going to change a lot of your life, obviously in the dynamic and relationship between you and

00:05:09.140 I'm assuming your wife. So it's all normal. Understand that. I would say these couple of things

00:05:14.680 first, find other dads in your area or friends that you have who are other dads band with them,

00:05:19.620 talk with them, communicate with them, figure out what they've gone through, what they, where they've

00:05:24.700 succeeded, where they've fallen behind, all of that stuff. I would also say it's important to

00:05:29.040 make sure that you continue to take care of yourself. It's very, very easy to get wrapped up in your

00:05:33.860 wife, very easy to get wrapped up in your son or daughter. And that's wonderful. Not telling you 0.78

00:05:39.560 that's wrong at all. I'm just saying that if you neglect yourself, you're going to find yourself

00:05:45.960 in a bad situation. I think a lot of first time fathers find themselves in this situation because

00:05:51.100 they neglect themselves and they give everything, all of their time and energy and attention and

00:05:56.900 resources. And they pour it all into the people who they're responsible for. It's a great place to

00:06:01.980 come from, but ultimately it won't help you serve those people over the long haul. So continue to take

00:06:08.300 care of yourself. Outside of that, roll with the punches, do the best you can be supportive of your

00:06:12.960 wife. And one other bit of advice, and I'm trying to be, give you different advice than you'd hear

00:06:17.140 from other people. You're going to hear about sleep schedules and changing diapers and feeding the baby

00:06:23.240 and all that stuff. You're going to get that advice. You don't need that from me. But one bit of advice

00:06:27.000 that I think is number one, and this may apply as your son or daughter gets a little bit older,

00:06:33.180 is that it's your job to render yourself obsolete. We live in this world where parents just want to

00:06:40.220 cuddle and bubble wrap and over protect and hover and be those helicopter parents over their kids.

00:06:46.220 And while I can understand the, the draw and the appeal and the desire to do that,

00:06:50.620 I think we do our kids a disservice when we do, when we don't allow them to experience

00:06:56.420 making their own decisions and then facing the consequence of those decisions as well

00:07:00.740 inside of a controlled environment. That is your job. Render yourself obsolete. Obviously that's going

00:07:06.940 to apply as your child gets a little bit older, but just something to consider that your job now

00:07:11.360 is to put yourself out of a job. Hope that helps. All right. Edgar Isaac Caballero says,

00:07:17.920 how do you go about making peace with your past? Make it your past and learn from it and transform

00:07:23.520 into a new man. This is a really good question. I like this question because I think there's a lot

00:07:28.160 of us, myself included who have dealt with, I don't know, some difficult times, bad decisions,

00:07:35.060 maybe feeling a little guilty about our past and some of the mistakes that we've made. And so

00:07:39.420 making peace with some of those past sins and indiscretions and mistakes and missteps is very,

00:07:46.400 very important, especially as you want to move forward. I would say this is recognize in a very

00:07:53.360 stoic manner, if you will, that there's only certain things that you can control and your past

00:07:58.880 decisions are not necessarily things that you can control. What's done is done. What has yet to have

00:08:04.680 happened is yet to have happened. All you can do is control your thoughts and your, your behavior,

00:08:10.780 your actions right now in this moment. And so if you want to get right with yourself, you want to make

00:08:16.800 peace with yourself. I really don't think it's about just pondering and reflecting upon it. I think

00:08:23.500 men are action oriented. I think by design, we are, we are made to act. We are made to move. We are made

00:08:31.940 to exert ourselves in the environment to manipulate the environment through our actions. The reason I say

00:08:38.620 that is because if you've got some past mess ups and things that you want to overcome, you need to

00:08:44.420 change your behavior based on those past mistakes. And by changing your behavior, by taking an active

00:08:52.020 role in improving yourself, you begin to make peace. You're not going to think your way to peace.

00:08:59.460 You can act your way to peace with yourself. Hey, I used to be this type of individual. And because I

00:09:06.180 learned my lessons, potentially even the hard way. Now I do this and I do this and I do this. And that

00:09:12.180 makes me a more whole man. Edgar, all of us have mistakes. All of us have trials. All of us have

00:09:20.240 things that we probably like to, to rewind and to do over. If we could, again, we can't. So learn from

00:09:27.140 those mistakes, learn the lessons, apply the lessons, act and think and behave differently. And as you continue

00:09:35.360 to do that, you'll see that you're progressing into a new man. And that will be a positive, encouraging,

00:09:43.720 peaceful resolution to your past indiscretions. Hope that helps. All right, Jason Schmidt, when you're firmly

00:09:51.980 on the path, how best to influence others without being bossy or pushy? This is really, really important

00:09:59.200 because if you have something that you know that has worked for you in your life, I think it's very easy,

00:10:04.680 especially for men as leaders. That's one of the components of masculinity is to preside, 0.99

00:10:09.000 to lead effectively is you see others who may not be doing what you're doing or falling into a pattern

00:10:14.440 that potentially you used to fall into and you see a better way, right? You've implemented something

00:10:19.580 new in your life. And so you see something different that will help improve their lives. And I think it's

00:10:25.320 natural to want to share that with other individuals. What I've learned is that if you give somebody an

00:10:32.920 answer and a solution, they don't have any ownership in that solution. And let's talk about kids, for

00:10:39.140 example, if I give my kids the answer to their math test, or I tell them, you know, here's a mistake

00:10:50.220 that you need to be careful of, or let me just tell you how to ride your bike. And I don't ever let them

00:10:56.740 experience falling down, tripping, stumbling, falling along the way, then they have no ownership

00:11:03.520 in that lesson. If on the other hand, they experience it for themselves and they come up with

00:11:09.520 solutions to their own problems, they're going to have ownership of that. They're, they have a more

00:11:14.500 vested interest in, in the answer to that problem. And so a lot of the times, as unfortunate as it is,

00:11:22.300 you're going to have to let people fall. You're going to have to let people that you care about

00:11:27.200 experience hardship and trial and adversity. And it's your job to be there when they stumble to

00:11:34.680 help motivate and push them up. One small example I can share with you is that my son, the other day,

00:11:41.540 he was on his little mini scooter. He loves that thing. And he's riding around the yard and he hit a

00:11:48.120 little bump or a rock or something and it lunged him forward and he flew over the handlebars and

00:11:53.260 skinned up his elbows and his knees. And as he was laying there crying and teary eyed, I went over and

00:11:59.040 it would have been very easy for me to pick him up. So hang with me on this analogy. I could have

00:12:03.500 literally picked him up and dusted him off. Instead, I encouraged him. I supported him. I asked if he was

00:12:10.500 okay. I said, why don't you get up and dust yourself off? You can do it. And I let him get up

00:12:15.600 himself, dust off his wounds. I was there to, to encourage and support him in doing it,

00:12:21.340 but I didn't do it for him. And that's the analogy is that you can't do things for other people.

00:12:27.580 You can help them come up with their own solutions to their own problems. That's why in the Facebook

00:12:33.120 group, when people ask questions, a lot of the times I'll simply say, what do you think you should

00:12:37.280 do? And the knee jerk reaction, what people will say, what the guys will say is, well, if I knew what I

00:12:41.760 should have done, then I wouldn't be asking the question. Would I, that's not necessarily true.

00:12:47.040 It happens a lot that people ask questions. They already know the answer to because they want an

00:12:52.480 excuse or they want an out, or they want to hear something different than the conclusion potentially

00:12:57.180 that they already came to. We've got to be better at finding our own solutions. And so if you truly want

00:13:03.100 to help people, help them find their own solutions. Don't propose them for them. And that's how you avoid

00:13:09.200 being bossy or pushy like you had asked. All right. Uh, Marcel Zucks, I think is how you pronounce his

00:13:16.180 last name, how to use the time of day, uh, when your wife is, is doing school and you are with the

00:13:22.340 kids. I got very frustrated because I have a moving company in Denmark, which I want to work in and on, but I

00:13:29.020 spend the morning till noon time with my kids, how not to get desperate when you got plans, but you've got to

00:13:34.640 pause them, uh, for letting the woman do her career studies. This is about boundaries. It really is. 0.99

00:13:41.340 And you've got to get right with the boundaries that you're established. You've got to get right

00:13:45.920 with the schedule that you guys are working on. And you've got to be very careful not to allow work

00:13:50.860 to cross over into those boundaries. And you've also got to be careful of not letting her or the 0.98

00:13:54.740 kids cross over into the work boundaries. I feel like when you're asking this question,

00:13:59.500 you just haven't got right with the boundaries. And there may be a breakdown in communication

00:14:04.460 between you and your wife. It sounds like there's a misunderstanding or you're not satisfied with the

00:14:10.220 current arrangements. And if that's the case, you've got to open your mouth and you've got to

00:14:14.320 talk about this stuff because if you don't talk about it, it's going to fester up. There's going to

00:14:18.800 be animosity and resentment and content hold held towards, towards her potentially for putting you in

00:14:25.800 this situation. So I think you guys need to have some discussions about how this is going to work,

00:14:32.300 how this is going to be acceptable for you. There's going to be some, some, some give and

00:14:37.460 take of course, and some compromise, but ultimately you need to voice your concerns. And it sounds like

00:14:43.860 maybe you haven't done that yet. And then once you voice those concerns and you guys come up with some

00:14:49.340 sort of mutual consensus about how you're going to approach your day, then, then you live with that

00:14:53.940 and you make yourself the best, make yourself the best dad possible. I think for me anyways,

00:15:01.320 and I don't want to speak for you or anybody else, but I think guys are like this a lot is that it's

00:15:05.900 easy for us to focus on the business stuff because we feel like we're being productive. At least I do

00:15:11.440 when I'm doing this podcast or, uh, putting together a video or a new article or sending out an email or

00:15:18.420 putting together an event, I feel very, very productive. And yet when I'm hanging out with my

00:15:23.520 kids, sometimes it's difficult to feel productive. Even if I'm doing something encouraging and uplifting

00:15:28.960 and positive, like playing catch with my son or rolling around and wrestling with my daughter or

00:15:34.720 whatever, it, it, it's good. And it feels right, but it doesn't feel quote unquote productive.

00:15:41.180 And I think that's the trap myself and a lot of other men fall into is that we think in order for

00:15:47.260 me to be productive and produce, which is what we should be doing, then we've got to be out on the

00:15:50.760 workforce doing that. I would, I would encourage you to try to find a way to quantify productivity

00:15:59.000 with your family. So is playing catch productive? It is. If you make it productive and you, and you

00:16:04.560 define it as being productive is roughhousing and rolling around and wrestling with your daughter

00:16:08.940 daughter productive. It is. If you, you make that the case and you, and you find meaning in that and

00:16:15.060 you dub it as being productive. So I hope that helps. I feel like maybe I'm rambling a little bit

00:16:20.720 on that, but I think if you learn to give the, the, the things that you're doing with your kids,

00:16:30.620 that the meaning and the significance of being productive, that, that you'll feel better about it.

00:16:35.660 All right. So there you go. All right. Sam Johnson. Uh, if the Boston straight pride parade gets

00:16:41.240 approved, will you and your family come down to celebrate? No, I don't know why I would do that.

00:16:47.680 I wouldn't, I wouldn't, I guess I just don't, don't care enough about gay, gay pride parades or 1.00

00:16:55.360 straight pride parades. Like I don't have to, I don't have to parade that around. Like I'm straight.

00:16:59.480 I'm married to a woman. I love her. We have kids together. I don't feel the need to,

00:17:06.080 to shout that from the rooftops necessarily. So probably won't come down. Uh, Cody Boyer,

00:17:12.260 when is Bubba going to bring back in the trenches? Those are some pretty good episodes. So for those

00:17:16.680 of you guys who don't know, uh, in the trenches was a podcast that Bubba Downs was doing. Uh, this

00:17:21.920 was probably maybe a year or so ago. And he was having conversations and interviews with

00:17:27.120 members of the iron council who had, uh, improved their lives and, and found results and success in,

00:17:33.180 in the systems that they were, they were using. Uh, quite honestly, we just didn't have the download

00:17:37.940 numbers. I just, I just wasn't getting the download numbers and the support to do that.

00:17:41.300 And so I've got to be really conscious about how we spend our time and energy and resources and what

00:17:47.100 we're putting out into the world. And I'm doing after action reviews with everything. And if

00:17:51.200 something's not working as much as maybe I like it, I've got to consider that and, and, and take

00:17:55.540 that into consideration as I, uh, as I mobilize my resources in that one, quite frankly, it just,

00:18:02.240 it just wasn't getting the support. So that's why. All right. Bubba, speaking of Bubba, here's

00:18:07.820 his question. Cody. Oh, he's following up on this guy. Uh, he says, Cody, thanks brother,

00:18:12.020 but the numbers weren't there for it to stay in the order of man network. So there there's your

00:18:15.080 answer from Bubba, which is what I just said. Uh, let's see. Oh, it looks like they had a

00:18:21.240 conversation and Kip wrote these down. He says, um, Bubba, thanks, man. I recently listened to all

00:18:25.180 those episodes and thought they were really good because you talked with guys that were on the path

00:18:28.420 and more relatable than most of us say Goggins, who's definitely influential, but not so much

00:18:32.680 relatable. So this is something that gets brought up a lot. These guys will say, Hey, when are you

00:18:37.800 going to, when are you going to interview ordinary guys? All, all guys are ordinary, or at least at some

00:18:44.000 point they were ordinary. So we have an opportunity. And this is why I interview very, very successful

00:18:49.180 men. And I hear from guys who say, well, they're not relatable. We'll relate then. Like that's your

00:18:53.060 decision. You have to know that these guys that I interview, whether it's David Goggins or Jocko or

00:19:00.020 Andy Frisilla or whoever it is that I'm interviewing, aren't some mythical superhero creatures that have

00:19:07.660 some set of skills that those mortals of us can't, can't develop. That's, that's not how this works

00:19:14.320 guys. At some point, these guys, I mean, go listen to Andy, go listen to Jocko, go listen to,

00:19:20.500 to Goggins. All of these guys were the same as you and me Goggins. I mean, he, how, how overweight

00:19:27.700 was he and how broken of a man was he? And you're telling me that's not relatable. That's completely

00:19:33.460 relatable. Now they may be further along the path, but doesn't that give you hope and optimism? I can

00:19:38.640 hear from ordinary guys all day long, but we have an opportunity to hear in this podcast through the

00:19:44.520 leverage of, of, of our, of our reach to connect with men who have figured it out. That's who I

00:19:52.720 want to learn from. I don't want to learn from like my peers necessarily. I want to learn from men who

00:19:57.800 are further along the track. This is one of the reasons in, um, in jujitsu is I'm training over and

00:20:03.100 I have been, uh, for the past month, pretty hard now is in class. I don't roll against other white 1.00

00:20:10.800 belts. I mean, I like rolling against other white belts because I'm more evenly matched and I feel 1.00

00:20:15.620 better about myself, but that's not the goal. The goal is not to feel better about myself. The goal

00:20:20.380 is to improve. And so I don't roll with white belts. Who do I roll with blue, purple, brown, 0.98

00:20:25.320 and black belts. Now it sucks because I get worked over, but that's the point. What is the ultimate goal?

00:20:33.340 Is it to be like everybody else? Like quote unquote, ordinary guys who haven't figured it out. Or is it to

00:20:38.660 be like exceptional men who have? So if you, if you're finding yourself saying, I can't relate

00:20:43.540 with that individual, then you don't know that individual's full story. Cause no, no man that I've

00:20:49.040 ever interviewed was born with, with the silver spoon. No man that I've ever interviewed was born

00:20:55.680 with some superhero strength or skillset that you and I aren't capable of developing is that they've

00:21:03.500 learned how to take what skills they do have, what strengths they have and double down on those and

00:21:10.420 what weaknesses they have. They've learned to shore those things up. So these guys are completely

00:21:13.940 relatable. They've just figured it out and they're further down the track. All right. Enough of that.

00:21:18.160 Jim Spencer, how do you handle it? If you lost everything and had to look after your partner

00:21:24.300 because of health build, build, build man. Like we've all lost things in our lives, whether that's

00:21:31.080 going through a divorce or health issues of our own or losing money or losing a job. Like we've,

00:21:36.900 we've all lost. And what a perfect opportunity to make yourself the project. This is what I think

00:21:42.700 about when I'm down and down and out. And I've talked with other guys who were down and out. It's

00:21:47.240 like, focus on yourself, focus on yourself, not at the expense of other people. It's not what I'm

00:21:52.360 saying, but what I'm saying is look at yourself objectively. Look at where you're at right now

00:21:58.120 and figure out, okay, what do I need to improve? Not everything, but one thing. What's the very first

00:22:04.560 thing I need to do? All right. I need to start losing some weight. Cool. Do that. Get up 30 minutes

00:22:10.680 early exercise, go for a quick walk. You can still look after your partner's health and go for a walk in

00:22:17.040 the morning. You can read good books. You can meditate. You can find friends. Like there's

00:22:22.140 things that you can do. You can study and earn a degree or designation that will help in your career

00:22:27.780 or help you get a job promotion. I know it's hard and it might feel overwhelming, Jim. I don't know

00:22:33.800 your full story, but I know a lot of guys are in this boat and they feel completely overwhelmed.

00:22:38.280 If you're feeling overwhelmed, stop back up, break it down, break it down into segments that I don't

00:22:44.300 want to say are comfortable that are, but that are manageable. Okay. You can't figure out and fix

00:22:49.300 everything about your life all at once. As I'm sitting here recording this podcast, I'm in

00:22:54.960 this room that, and I've said it before, it's kind of like the love child of, of Martha Stewart and

00:23:01.340 Ernest Hemingway's office. And I see the vision that I have for what this office will look like. And if

00:23:07.940 all I did was focus on the ultimate vision, it'd be very easy to get overwhelmed. Yesterday I started

00:23:12.200 peeling wallpaper off the walls and, and I, I'm a little frustrated because I'm like, man, I just

00:23:18.180 wish it was done already. But at the same time, it's the process. You have to go through the process.

00:23:23.120 So the process first is for me to take this wallpaper off the walls. And once it's off the

00:23:29.360 walls, then I've got to wait. So it dries and then I've got to patch the walls and then I've got to paint

00:23:35.420 the walls and I'm going to do everything in order. There's an order to what you're doing and how you're

00:23:41.080 improving your life. You don't get to, to skip from A to Z. You've got to go from A to B, then B to C,

00:23:48.600 C to D and so on. So if I lost everything, I'd, I'd have a vision for myself. And then I'd work

00:23:57.360 backwards into objectives. What's the first step? What's the second step? What's the third step?

00:24:03.880 And I would start executing those things. All right. Paul Ives says, did either of you serve LDS

00:24:10.320 missions? Why or why not? If so, how did it go? Seems like an endeavor that would really challenge

00:24:16.540 a young person to step outside of their, their comfort zone. So I did not serve an LDS mission.

00:24:23.900 For those of you who don't know, both Kip and myself are LDS Mormon. Um, I did not serve a mission

00:24:29.200 quite honestly. I don't know if Kip did either. That's a good question that we'll ask Kip. Uh,

00:24:33.940 it's one of the things I wish I would have done. I joined the military fairly early. Um, but I wish

00:24:39.060 I would have gone on a mission. Uh, and for those of you who don't know how, uh, LDS missions work

00:24:43.720 at 18, these young men, um, are called to serve somewhere in the world for two years. So they give up

00:24:49.880 all their, their money and their possessions and their worldly ambitions. And they go serve the

00:24:54.480 Lord for two years somewhere in the world, whether it's stateside or, or internationally. So I didn't

00:25:01.640 go, I wish I would have gone. Um, he says here, it seems like it'd be an endeavor that would really

00:25:05.400 change a young person to step outside of their comfort zone. Of course. Um, I was fortunate enough

00:25:11.500 to serve a lot of the young men in our church. And I've seen these guys go from 12 year old punk kids

00:25:19.460 to 21, 22, 23 year old men who come back and to see the level of transformation over a course of two

00:25:27.700 years by giving service to other individuals for two years straight really, really changes a boy to

00:25:34.900 a man. So that's one of the things I wish I would have done, but I didn't. Alan Hernandez says, uh,

00:25:41.040 well, they're LDS. So he questions their LDS. Yes, we are LDS. Latter-day Saint Mormon. Chase

00:25:46.380 Shippy, any tips on managing a short fuse? Uh, I've been noticing recently that it's a bit of a

00:25:53.400 problem and is beginning to drive a wedge in my marriage. And that's the last thing I want.

00:25:58.340 I think a lot of guys deal with this short fuses and tempers. And what I found is that there's two

00:26:03.320 things that have led me to believe that sometimes I have a short fuse. Number one, if I'm not doing

00:26:09.480 what I know I need to be doing. So my short fuse is less often a reflection of what other people are

00:26:15.540 doing and more of a reflection upon what I am not doing. So if there's no congruency between the

00:26:23.280 vision I have for myself and what type of man I want to be and the actions that are going to lead

00:26:28.080 me to that type of individual that leads to frustration and can ultimately lead to lashing

00:26:34.760 out and having a short fuse because you're letting other things bother you when you should be focused

00:26:39.660 on yourself. That's number one. Number two, the other reason that I've had a short fuse in my life

00:26:45.020 is because I don't give myself any space or margin to manage the things that need to get done. For

00:26:51.880 example, if I'm doing a podcast, I might give myself one hour and an appointment right after

00:26:58.680 right on the next hour. And so I've got to hurry and finish, finish, finish, finish real quick without

00:27:03.040 giving myself any sort of buffer. And then that creates stress and the cortisol levels increase.

00:27:08.480 And then I get into this fight or fight and then I end up with the short fuse and blowing up and,

00:27:13.260 and creating a greater mess of things. So I would say build in not only physical space and margin

00:27:19.840 with your calendar and your schedule, but also time to reflect mentally and emotionally and give

00:27:24.960 yourself some downtime. You know, there's a lot of guys on social media who talk about you can sleep

00:27:29.760 when you're dead and you should never, you should never rest and all that kind of stuff. And it makes

00:27:34.380 punchy and snappy little, little punchlines. But, but it's just, it's not good for you. So you need to

00:27:41.360 have downtime. You need to, to relax. You need to rejuvenate. You need to find an outlet for me. It's

00:27:47.080 jujitsu and archery. It'll probably be other things in the future too, as I have new things I want to pursue,

00:27:52.120 but having time and space in my life to be able to unwind has been really helpful. Okay.

00:28:01.020 Where are we at? Ben Acosta, would you give us some thought in putting a marker for relationships

00:28:06.920 issues? I don't really know what that means. Most of the questions are the same over and over again.

00:28:12.700 Maybe if they are in a relationships issue tab. Oh, okay. They could search and read the previous

00:28:17.840 post. So many things over and over and over again. So what Ben is referring to is the,

00:28:21.660 is the Facebook group every once in a while. And it seems to be on a cycle.

00:28:25.960 Maybe it's two months or three months is that we just get inundated with my wife left me. Why my

00:28:31.360 wife's cheating on me. My wife doesn't understand me. Why my wife, this, my wife, that, and it just 1.00

00:28:35.960 gets old really quick. And I realized that there's a lot of guys when you have 57,000 members of a

00:28:42.900 Facebook group. I realize a lot of people are dealing with issues with what their significant other. I get

00:28:49.360 that. Uh, what I would say is that you need, you just need to fix yourself. You need to work on

00:28:54.940 yourself. And I'm not saying you're the only one to blame. All right. So if you're listening to this

00:28:58.160 and saying, well, she does fill in the blank, just stop for a second. Okay. I'm not, when I say fix

00:29:04.060 yourself, I'm not saying that she is free from some burden of the responsibility. It's a, it's a

00:29:10.580 relationship. It's a two way street. I mean, both of you are in this thing, but as I said earlier,

00:29:16.260 there's only so much you can control and you can't control your wife, you can influence her, 0.99

00:29:22.100 but you can't control her. And what I've found is the best way to influence other individuals is to

00:29:26.620 change myself, to change the way that I show up, to change my behaviors and my beliefs and my patterns

00:29:32.700 and the things that I'm doing. And through those actions, other people respond positively more often

00:29:38.960 than not. So yeah, I think we, and I brought this up a week or two ago about the relationship issues.

00:29:47.180 And I gave the seven tips that it seems like I always give, and I don't remember them all right

00:29:52.080 off hand, but one is, you know, don't, don't overlook red flags. Number two, don't neglect yourself

00:29:58.480 and, and give her all your time and attention. Don't, uh, don't lose your friends and your hobbies

00:30:04.500 for her communicate effectively. These are all things that not only will help your relationship,

00:30:10.260 but to help every facet of your life. So it gets a little overwhelming and old at times, but yeah,

00:30:15.980 there needs to be some sort of, uh, look here for relationships, which I have bookmarked.

00:30:21.300 And so as guys ask questions about relationships, I just send them to that post that I made. So there

00:30:26.740 you go, Ben, Justin webs or web rather, uh, what are your thoughts on governor? Tony ever's rating

00:30:33.340 gay flat rating, gay flag with American flag at Wisconsin state house. Look, here's the deal. 0.93

00:30:40.500 I'm an American, Justin. I'm assuming you're an American. The, the American flag should never come 0.95

00:30:47.420 down from a flagpole ever. There should be no other flag that flies above the American flag,

00:30:55.380 flying with the American flag. I think is, and can be appropriate at certain times, but

00:31:00.460 there should be no flag, whether it's the gay pride flag or the straight pride flag or the purple flag 0.99

00:31:07.480 or the blue flag or the state flag or the order of man flag or whatever that should ever fly above

00:31:14.860 the American flag. And I know a lot of guys, cause I made a post about the flag think that, that it

00:31:19.780 represents some tyrannical government and gang activity, organized crime. That's not what it

00:31:26.500 means. It's never what it's meant. The American flag is about the ideals that we espouse liberty,

00:31:32.420 freedom, the pursuit of happiness. And there should be no flag ever of any kind that ever flies above

00:31:40.740 or, uh, in exchange for the American flag. Simple as that. Sean Bustler, how to offer help. I have an

00:31:48.760 issue with offering advice. Sometimes when I feel that the other person might be offended with what

00:31:52.800 I have to say, should I wait until they ask for help or offer example, someone could use to lose.

00:31:58.380 Someone could, someone could lose a hundred pounds. I can't, I'm willing to, I'm willing to help,

00:32:03.740 but to bring it up as calling them out for their obesity. Sean, sometimes it's not your job.

00:32:09.640 It's not your position. You know, if I see, for example, if I'm, if I'm at a restaurant

00:32:13.440 and I see somebody sitting in the booth next to me and he weighs a hundred pounds more than he

00:32:19.620 should, is that really my job to tell him? No. Do I think that's that he should probably

00:32:24.140 address that? Yeah. I mean, I think his life would improve if he did, but ultimately he's free

00:32:28.540 to make his own decisions. So you got to be very careful of offering unsolicited advice. Number one,

00:32:33.220 it's not your job. Number two, it's very, very seldomly, uh, is it received positively? Uh,

00:32:39.840 and, and so just, just don't do it. Now, if somebody's in your care, like you, you have a

00:32:44.840 son or a daughter who's obese, well, that's, that's your responsibility and that's your job. 0.85

00:32:49.080 And so you have to bring that up in a tactful way. Same thing with a spouse. Your spouse starts

00:32:52.820 to put on a few pounds more than, than she probably should. Well, you got, you got to be tactful in how

00:32:56.940 you bring that up, but it is your job to bring it up. So understand your place in your position and be

00:33:02.220 very, very careful of offering unsolicited feedback to those who you have no authority over or for in,

00:33:09.140 in their life. Uh, Daniel Martin Albert says, I want to be a part of this. Okay, cool. Right on.

00:33:15.020 Glad you're here. Brian Boyd. Uh, what steps can one take to continue pushing through when you think

00:33:20.840 and feel like you have pushed through, but not getting the results that you want? Well, pushing

00:33:25.000 through means the results. So if you're not getting the results that you want, then you really haven't

00:33:30.340 pushed through your, you're being held up somewhere. So if you want to quote unquote, push through,

00:33:35.160 then push through. And in order to do that, you've got to identify what the objective is in the first

00:33:40.320 place. If you don't know what the ultimate objective is, how are you going to know if you

00:33:43.820 ever achieved what you're wanting to achieve? So you've got to set the expectation. You've got to

00:33:49.660 set the standard. You've got to set the target insight. So you know what you're shooting for.

00:33:54.540 Now, once you know what that is, you align yourself physically, mentally, emotionally to the task at

00:34:01.100 hand. And then anything that gets you in your way, you go through, you go over, you go around,

00:34:05.720 you go under, and you get past that obstacle, whatever it is. So what steps can you take to

00:34:11.560 continue to push through? You've got to try something different is go, if going through it is

00:34:15.060 not working, go around it. You're going around. It is not working. Go under it. How do you do this?

00:34:21.120 Find people that have already navigated that obstacle. Very simple. We have a tendency as men,

00:34:27.740 maybe it's an ego thing to try to reinvent the wheel. Oh, there's this thing in my way and I'm

00:34:32.760 going to do it my way. Well, nobody says you have to do it your way. And nobody says you have to do

00:34:37.140 it the hard way. You have to do it the effective way. So as long as it's legal, moral, and ethical,

00:34:43.360 be effective, be efficient. You should make your training hard, but the actual test, which is life,

00:34:50.200 it should be as easy as possible. And you've got to be effective. You've got to be creative,

00:34:54.900 find other people who have already navigated the obstacle, ask for advice, ask for input,

00:34:59.820 do what they do. Don't reinvent the wheel and push through. If you really want it, push through

00:35:04.600 or push over or under or around. Again, I think we've got to be careful of the push through mentality.

00:35:10.540 Maybe you're doing it wrong, which is why it's not working. Does it mean you should abandon the task at

00:35:15.500 hand? Does it mean that you should, you should surrender? No, it just means you need to potentially

00:35:22.660 try something different. So try something different and carry on. Chris Landry. My fiance has asked for

00:35:29.280 a break and some space. We have three kids. What are my options as we now sleep in the other parts

00:35:34.660 of the house? She doesn't respond to me when I talk or try to include her when playing with the kids.

00:35:40.100 I've started to work hard at being a better me, but was looking for some clues as to what you guys may

00:35:44.960 have done to deal with this kind of situation. Well, Chris, you're on the right path. You really are.

00:35:49.100 What you said here is that I've really started to work hard on being better, being a better me.

00:35:56.280 That's what I said earlier. It's up to you to change your life. And I hope, and odds are that

00:36:04.100 she will positively respond to that. Now, I'm not going to say your relationship is going to be

00:36:07.680 salvaged. I don't know the entire story, but what can you do? You can continue to push on her.

00:36:12.780 You continue to, to include her on things and, and what you'll ultimately end up doing. And I know

00:36:19.320 this from experience is that you'll drive a greater wedge between you and her. So if she wants a break

00:36:25.040 and some space, well, I mean, you kind of got to give it to her right within reason. And in the

00:36:32.240 meantime, go to work on being the best you, how do you do this? Go read sovereignty. I wrote a book

00:36:37.640 last year, February of last year called sovereignty, the battle for the hearts and minds of men. And in it,

00:36:41.900 I break down, uh, 13 virtues that every man could implement in his life in order to improve who he

00:36:50.000 is as a man and then create a battle plan for that level of improvement. So you can get very,

00:36:55.240 very tactical, very, very specific on the things that you should be doing. Because when you say,

00:37:00.740 uh, I started working hard on being a better me. I don't know what that means. Maybe you do,

00:37:06.260 but maybe you don't. I think a lot of guys say that, but they, if I were to say, well,

00:37:11.100 what does that mean? They say, well, I don't know. Okay. We got to get crystal clear on what

00:37:16.180 exactly you're doing and what your objective is ultimately. And it shouldn't be to, to win my

00:37:22.300 wife back by the way, because I made that mistake as well. Um, because then you may not achieve that

00:37:28.900 objective because she has a say in that. So it's gotta be something that is, is at some level

00:37:37.280 controllable, which is, I want to be this percent body fat, or I want to be, uh, this strong, or I

00:37:45.400 want to have this much money, or I want to be in this specific career. I want to have this type of

00:37:50.900 relationship with my kids. And then ultimately you have to let the chips fall where they may,

00:37:56.200 which is that hopefully she recognizes and sees that she wants to be with you and she's attracted to

00:38:00.660 you. Or it might mean that, that she's not, and we can cross that bridge when it comes to it, but

00:38:06.060 it's never a bad time to work on and improve yourself. I would also say for those of guys

00:38:10.700 listening, you got to be very careful here. It says, my fiance has asked for a break in some space.

00:38:15.980 We have three kids. So what that means is that you have three kids and you're not married. Now I'm not

00:38:22.180 going to, I'm not going to try to judge that, but I'm going to say guys, like if, if you're having

00:38:27.660 children out of wedlock, there's a greater chance of this thing falling apart because the commitment

00:38:34.220 is likely not as strong as somebody who's married. So I think that this Chris, I understand that you're

00:38:41.240 already in this situation, so we've got to do what you've got to do. But I think this is a good

00:38:45.040 reminder, uh, to be careful of, uh, having children and even having sex with those that we aren't fully

00:38:55.740 committed to and those who may not potentially be fully committed to us. Something to be very,

00:39:00.680 very aware of. So Chris, I'm sorry. You're finding yourself in that situation, read sovereignty,

00:39:05.180 uh, and create your battle plan. I think that will really, really help. Chris Dalton, uh, looking to

00:39:10.820 switch careers from child protection worker to apply to be a police officer, a big career shift with a lot

00:39:17.240 of transferable skills. What should I be focusing on to prepare for the application process? Chris, I don't

00:39:21.680 know. I don't know. I'm not a police officer. So what I would tell you is to find a 1.00

00:39:25.660 police officer who, you know, and ask him specifically what you should be preparing,

00:39:31.720 uh, for the application process. Cause anything I said would not be credible advice. And I always

00:39:37.520 try to qualify the sources of my information. If, if I'm asking people who haven't been where I want

00:39:42.880 to go for advice, I've got it. That's not qualified advice. That's just anecdotal and it may or may not be

00:39:49.440 relevant. So find a police officer. Sure. There's plenty in the Facebook group and ask that individual

00:39:55.360 what you should be doing to prepare for the application process. All right, Jacob Cohn,

00:40:00.320 how are we doing on time here? Okay, cool. Uh, we're good on time. We're getting through a lot

00:40:03.920 here. I think we might get through all of them. In fact, I'm going to try to get through all of

00:40:06.620 them. Jacob Cohn, I'm curious to hear your thoughts on the place of group learning. You talk a lot about

00:40:13.000 mentorship and surrounding yourself with people who have achieved what you're after. So what do you look

00:40:17.120 for in groups like the iron council or other peer groups? Well, what I would look for is I would

00:40:21.820 look for successful people in the space in which you're trying to be successful. Uh, I would look

00:40:26.580 for a place that is not ego driven. I see a lot of, uh, a lot of men's groups that are very, very

00:40:32.040 egocentric and ego driven. They have one figurehead at the top and nobody else is allowed to contribute

00:40:38.400 or participate. And I think that's a problem. I think it's a problem. I think, you know, I try not to

00:40:45.120 be like that. I know I get arrogant and, and let my ego take over at times. And that's something that I,

00:40:51.820 I also realized that in the iron council, for example, with 500 plus members of the iron council,

00:40:56.960 that there's some guys in there who have some things to share that I don't have it all figured

00:41:01.180 out. So I would say if you're looking for a peer group, that the peers are actually contributing

00:41:07.520 in a meaningful and significant way that they have success in the place that you're after that you

00:41:14.100 feel like, I think there's a lot to be said for intuition, uh, that it's a place where you can

00:41:18.880 expand and grow and you can ask good questions and get the, the answers. And the accountability is

00:41:25.300 huge. Uh, the systems, I talk a lot about having the framework and the network. I think those are

00:41:30.120 two things you should really look for. Is there a system, a proven process and system in place that's

00:41:34.700 working for other people? And is there a network who will help you navigate that framework and

00:41:40.800 ultimately hold you accountable to accomplishing what you want to accomplish? That's what I would look

00:41:45.700 for. And that's what we do in the iron council. So if you're interested, Jacob and that, or anybody

00:41:50.520 who's listening, check it out, order of men.com slash iron council. All right, Drew, Scott, you

00:41:56.640 mentioned at a previous podcast that your family used to own a brewery several generations ago. Have

00:42:00.700 you considered finding a beer recipe and brewing some Mickler order of man boutique beer? Drew, I really

00:42:06.340 liked the idea, uh, on my mother's father's side. Uh, there was a, I believe if I remember correctly,

00:42:15.780 a great, great, great grandfather who owned a wheel and brewery. And I found a little bit of

00:42:21.760 history on that. And it's actually really, really fascinating. His son took it over when he died in a,

00:42:27.240 uh, an accident. And if I understand correctly in the, the brewery, uh, I think his, again, if I remember

00:42:33.100 right, his daughter was in the explosion or in the fire and he went in to rescue her and ultimately did

00:42:40.920 end up rescuing her, but died in the process. So very cool history, uh, Whelan beer and brewery.

00:42:48.060 If you guys have any history or, or have seen any of that, that would be very cool. Point me in the

00:42:52.780 right direction. As far as me brewing some Mickler order of man boutique beer. Uh, well, I don't drink

00:42:59.340 number one. So my ancestors might look down upon me for that. Um, so I probably won't be doing that.

00:43:05.740 And I am getting better at saying no to things that sound really cool from the outside looking in,

00:43:11.360 uh, but ultimately don't serve me in my purpose. So all I see is that that would be, although very cool

00:43:16.560 would be a distraction from what I'm trying to accomplish. Thank you, Drew, Tyler cook. Uh,

00:43:22.860 any advice for an upcoming blue belt test shark tank? I don't know. I'm a white belt. I'm a new white belt.

00:43:28.800 Uh, I don't have any advice. I would just say, keep training with guys who are better than you,

00:43:34.780 uh, talk with the guys who are in, in your, in your studio or in your gym. Um, figure out maybe

00:43:41.940 what, what you can expect. Uh, I really don't know, but I will bring this up to Kip. Cause again,

00:43:49.080 we're looking for people who are further down the track than we are. Kip's a brown belt. Um, 1.00

00:43:54.240 he's probably got, uh, better, better ideas on this than I do. Okay. Steven Giovanelli. I think

00:44:00.940 I said that right. Giovanelli is how I would pronounce that first time. Dad was six months

00:44:05.840 with first time. Dad was six months. Uh, I don't know if he has a six month old child or something.

00:44:11.640 Anyways, started using the planner and it helps a lot, but struggling to accomplish all, sometimes

00:44:16.600 any of the four quadrants in the daily objectives portion. Thank you. Appreciate what y'all are doing.

00:44:23.500 Well, when you're trying to change your life, it's easy. It's very, very easy to try to change

00:44:30.280 everything. Like I need to get in shape and I need to earn, earn my, this credential and I need to make

00:44:35.180 this much money and I need to have this conversation and I need to do this activity. And so what we do,

00:44:39.580 and this is great, but we get overly ambitious. It's like, what makes you believe that you can do

00:44:47.680 all that when in your past track record, you've, you've proven that you can't, you're just not

00:44:54.360 capable yet. This actually goes back to what Tyler was saying with his blue belt test. I'm not going to

00:44:58.980 take my test for my blue belt because I'm not capable yet. Can I be? Yes. I have hope and optimism

00:45:04.640 that I will get to that point, but I'm not there yet. So in the meantime, I'm going to work

00:45:09.440 on, on little things that will build a solid foundation for growth. So yeah, sometimes you're

00:45:16.060 not going to be able to accomplish it all and that's okay. Maybe they're too ambitious

00:45:20.260 and maybe you need to scale back. I know that sounds counterintuitive, maybe even a little bit

00:45:27.280 or different than what a lot of these, these Instagram celebrities and self-help gurus will yap

00:45:32.520 at you about like, you got to do everything all at once, all the time. It's like, okay, well I'll get

00:45:37.780 there. All right. Let's actually build something that's sustainable that I can actually incorporate

00:45:42.740 where I can build up some victories and some wins and then ultimately prove that I'm capable of more

00:45:47.960 than I thought I was previously capable of. So scale back a little bit, you know, if, if, if it's going to

00:45:54.140 the gym every day for two hours a day, well, maybe that's not it. You know, maybe, maybe it's four days a

00:46:01.200 week or maybe it's one hour a day or 45 minutes a day, like do what you can right now to build up those

00:46:07.860 victories and, and use that as, as growth. I was, uh, one of the guys I follow online and, and have

00:46:14.920 built somewhat of a friendship with over the past several years is Cam Haynes. And I know a lot of you

00:46:18.480 guys follow Cam and he and his son went and did a 24 hour run. And within the 24 hour period, the ultimate

00:46:26.760 objective, the goal for these guys is to get a hundred miles. That's a pretty good indicator that

00:46:31.140 you're, you're doing it right. That you're pretty good. Well, his son was trying to get a hundred

00:46:34.540 miles and he ended up falling short. I think he got 80 something miles, maybe 85, 87, somewhere in

00:46:39.920 there. And he was disappointed with his, uh, with his, his performance. And you know, my thought and I,

00:46:47.200 and I reached out and just dropped a comment. I said, look, I understand that you're, you're,

00:46:52.040 you're upset with this performance, but it's simply a benchmark. That's all it is. This isn't the last

00:46:56.440 time you're going to run it. And, and for Steven, this isn't the only time you're ever going to

00:47:01.560 implement a battle plan. This is a benchmark that you can grow and develop from. You can establish

00:47:06.380 it as a foundation and then you can grow from the foundation that you've built. All right. So,

00:47:11.120 so take it in step, take it in stride. Zach Melans, how much wood could a woodchuck chuck?

00:47:15.940 You know, the whole thing. He would chuck all of it. All right. Nick McVeigh, what are some ways

00:47:20.140 that you both serve your wives, especially things that you may not particularly enjoy? I have to be

00:47:25.340 careful with how he worded this. Cause he said, what are the ways you both serve your wives?

00:47:29.100 I know I just mentioned that I'm LDS, but I do not have multiple wives. I, I have one wife.

00:47:34.600 So what is the way that I serve my wife specifically things that you may not particularly enjoy? For

00:47:40.800 example, one of my least favorite chores is laundry. Normally my wife does it, but sometimes I will do

00:47:46.060 it in order to alleviate her stress. I think that's great. I think that's what a partnership is

00:47:51.000 about. I think it's a give and take. I think it's a sacrifice. I think we help where we can.

00:47:54.340 And hopefully she's helping where she can and doing things that she may not necessarily

00:47:58.100 enjoy. Yeah. I mean, for me, it's sure some things around the house or, uh, you know, even

00:48:03.880 if she, she wants to go out on, on a, on a trip or a girl's night, you know, then I'm, I'm more

00:48:10.160 than happy to, um, make sure that, that our kids are being taken care of and loved. And those

00:48:16.900 aren't things I necessarily don't enjoy. I enjoy that stuff, but, uh, yeah, I can't really

00:48:21.380 think of any examples right offhand other than if I see that she needs help with something,

00:48:25.460 then I'm going to help. If there's some things that she needs done throughout the day. Uh,

00:48:29.660 I, I try not to do other things throughout the day. Maybe if it's a certain situation,

00:48:33.420 I will, uh, cause I have those boundaries in place, but I may create a plan to be able

00:48:38.120 to do that at night or in the morning or sometime where it's more convenient, but help alleviate

00:48:43.040 that and take it off her workload. So yeah, do whatever works for you. If it's laundry, 0.95

00:48:47.440 then cool. Do laundry. Simple. Thanks, Nick. Jason Sanchez, Kip Sorensen. Great job on hosting

00:48:53.880 the solo show. It wasn't completely smooth at the beginning, uh, but then you slid into your

00:48:57.880 natural style and voiced it like a professional. I agree with that. Kip does a great job and it is

00:49:03.840 harder than you think. I don't have a too difficult time doing it now because I've been doing it for the

00:49:08.940 last four years, but talking into this little microphone and staring into a computer is, and

00:49:14.280 pretending that you're actually talking to someone is very, very strange. Uh, it's not natural.

00:49:19.700 And, uh, but Kip does a great job. He does a really, really good job. And that's why he's my

00:49:24.580 co-host. Uh, he says, Kip Sorensen, can you copy and paste the text from your daily mantra? It's great.

00:49:31.140 I'd like to write one down for myself and model after yours. So the other day, I guess, I don't know

00:49:36.460 if it was last week or the week before, I think it might've been two weeks ago. Uh, he had said what

00:49:40.900 his mantra is and he had it written down. So I'll ask him if he'll paste that in the Facebook group

00:49:46.160 for Jason and for anybody else who may be interested in. All right. We're doing good on

00:49:50.520 time. We're doing good on questions. We're cranking through them. I don't want to get through, uh,

00:49:55.020 get through these too quickly and just skim over them, but I do want to get through them all.

00:49:58.460 Uh, so we've got three more. Let's go through these. Excuse me, Josh. Uh, whoo, I'm going to butcher

00:50:04.440 this one. Tchaikovsky is how I would say that Tchaikovsky. Uh, I'm moving from Alabama to Oregon.

00:50:09.780 I have a place to live and there are lots of potential to work. What advice do y'all have

00:50:13.500 when it comes to starting over in new places? Uh, I'm going to, I'm going to give you an answer

00:50:18.620 in the form of another podcast in a podcast I did two weeks ago or three weeks ago. It's a Friday

00:50:25.800 field notes and it's strategies for, uh, embedding yourself into a new environment and making friends

00:50:32.700 and friendships. So go back and listen to that one. In fact, I do just want to pull this up.

00:50:38.700 Uh, and tell you exactly what it's called so you can find it. But if you go to iTunes

00:50:43.800 and search in the last couple of weeks for a Friday field notes, you can definitely check that

00:50:50.780 out. Uh, well, it looks like I can't find my list of previous shows as that pulls up. I'll let you

00:51:03.220 know and let you know what it's called. But again, it's the last couple of weeks. It was a Friday

00:51:07.500 field notes and I talked about strategies for making yourself, uh, known in a new environment.

00:51:15.440 Oh, here it is. Strategies for, Oh, here it is. Strategies for success in a new environment. So I

00:51:21.840 was close, but that's what it's called. Uh, strategies for success in a new environment.

00:51:25.860 So check that one out. It was released on June 7th. Okay. Next question. Two more.

00:51:34.160 Michael Mar Marcial, who is Kip Sorensen? Well, we've talked about this before. Kip is a friend

00:51:42.620 of mine. Um, he was introduced to the order of man podcast through another friend of mine,

00:51:47.640 Mr. Matthew Jenkins, who used to work together with me. Uh, and he joined the Facebook group,

00:51:55.040 was actually going to end up leaving the Facebook group. Um, but found value in what we were doing

00:52:00.140 and the podcast specifically. And not long after joined the iron council, uh, not long after he

00:52:05.400 joined the iron council, he became a team leader in the iron council because I saw his potential and

00:52:09.980 the value and his leadership skills and abilities. So I asked him to lead a team. Uh, he did that for a

00:52:16.820 while. I saw that he could actually lead more than one team. So I asked him to be our team leader

00:52:22.940 liaison. So he helps coordinate and manage all of the teams within the iron council and

00:52:28.020 helps me manage that. Um, I saw his insight and the value that he brings and the thoughts and

00:52:34.680 insights that he has to share. And they're unique. They're different than mine. He he's complimentary

00:52:38.760 to me and thought, what a great way to bring him on and help answer some of these questions and

00:52:44.440 be able to have a good conversation with him. And so Kip has grown to be a, a good friend of mine

00:52:49.460 and an instrumental part of the order of man and iron council. He's, he's a good man. He's got a

00:52:55.700 great family. Um, he's got some history, which he shared, uh, which is very valuable for a lot of

00:53:01.260 guys who have had some difficulties within their families and gone through some separations and

00:53:06.480 divorces. He talks a lot about that. Uh, he's an incredible guy, incredible guy. I'm honored to

00:53:11.420 have him with, uh, with me in these and just the mission in general. And he believes wholeheartedly

00:53:16.860 in what we're doing, which is of course valuable as well. So that's a little bit about who Kip

00:53:21.200 Sorensen is. All right. Last one, Steven, uh, momentum momentum. How do you guys handle other

00:53:28.280 men cat calling your girlfriend, wives or daughters? I'm not talking flirting or compliments,

00:53:33.460 but crude sexual comments that are shouted at a person. Had an experience a few days ago where I

00:53:38.580 came home and my girlfriend was very angry and scared because a group of guys had just made some

00:53:42.200 sexual comments to her, uh, in her own yard while she was out gardening. I wanted to find the guys

00:53:47.720 while she pleaded with me, not to create a scene or draw more attention to our house or to her and

00:53:53.020 fear that they might return when I'm not around. I understand her perspective of not wanting to be

00:53:57.100 a target, but who is going to confront these guys if I don't, or if most women are too afraid to,

00:54:02.660 I added a longer question, more details and thoughts on the Facebook page this morning.

00:54:06.000 Thanks for everything you guys do, Steven. Uh, this is a tough one. I've actually never been in

00:54:09.820 this situation. I've never been in a situation where guys have taken it too far. So one thing

00:54:14.960 I would say is, and I don't think this applies necessarily in this situation, but don't put

00:54:19.060 yourself in environments where this kind of stuff could happen. That's first and foremost. Like my

00:54:23.820 wife and I don't go out to the bars because I don't want to be around a bunch of drunk dudes who 0.95

00:54:27.600 are deliberately and intentionally losing control of their inhibitions and looking for women. That doesn't

00:54:32.920 seem like presiding or protecting very well. So I'm not going to put myself in that situation.

00:54:38.260 Now, this is different because this is your home. Like, I don't, I don't know where you live,

00:54:44.560 if it's the environment in which you live, but you may consider that. For example, uh, I would also

00:54:49.280 encourage her to, uh, get into some sort of self-defense training, whether it's martial arts

00:54:55.560 and I would probably say some sort of firearms training. So she knows how to handle a firearm. 0.99

00:55:00.460 She knows how to handle her body and she can defend and take care of herself to some degree

00:55:06.260 that she makes herself capable in some way. I don't think that this is necessarily in your best

00:55:12.540 interest to go out and chase these guys down or try to find them or confront them because you're

00:55:18.400 going to end up putting yourself in potentially a worse situation. Whether you have an encounter

00:55:22.760 with these guys and you successfully kick their ass or who knows, maybe even shoot one of them or, 1.00

00:55:29.940 or, or they ambush you and you find yourself at the end of a beating or at the end of a gun. 1.00

00:55:35.920 Like, I don't know that this is like a prudent way to, to do this. I would also say you probably

00:55:41.880 ought to be aware of your surroundings. Maybe get some cameras up, uh, on the property. Uh,

00:55:46.280 if these guys come around, maybe you capture and be aware of what are they driving? What do they

00:55:50.800 look like? What's their license plate? Call these guys in report these guys. I think there's a lot

00:55:54.940 different things that you could do here. Um, and, and those are a few solutions, but yeah,

00:56:01.220 tracking these guys down, I don't think is, is going to go over well. In fact, uh, there was

00:56:06.540 somebody who I know who had an altercation. Uh, somebody was, uh, harassing and I don't know the

00:56:14.020 full story, but anyway, anyway, somebody who was, was harassing his daughter and he ended up chasing

00:56:19.980 this individual down, tracked him down and ended up shooting this person. Didn't kill him,

00:56:26.480 but paralyzed this person and had to serve time for pursuing this individual. So was it the right

00:56:34.420 approach? Maybe it was, it could have been in that situation, but think from a clear head and try to be

00:56:41.580 objective as possible and think about what other things that you can do to keep her protected,

00:56:47.300 uh, without exposing her or you to unnecessary risk. All right. That's what I've got. All right,

00:56:54.460 guys, we got through all of them. We did it. I think we're about an hour or so just under an hour.

00:57:00.460 I think right now, uh, appreciate you tuning in. Let's see. Kip wrote some notes in here,

00:57:05.360 a couple of announcements that I need to share in parting. Again, we've got our order of man main

00:57:10.740 event about 30 spots, maybe just under 30 spots left. Uh, you can get registered at order of man.com.

00:57:17.300 slash main is in the state main main event, order of man.com slash main event. That's August 10th

00:57:23.320 and 11th with an exclusive iron council dinner on the ninth. And by the way, if you want to attend

00:57:28.080 the iron council dinner and you are not a member of the iron council, you can actually get registered

00:57:33.860 for the iron council at the same time as registration. And that way you're eligible for

00:57:39.000 the dinner as well. You don't need to be a member of the iron council for a certain period of time to

00:57:43.360 be eligible for that. So if you're interested in that again, order of man.com slash main event,

00:57:48.940 uh, what else do we got? We've got the iron council order of man.com slash iron council.

00:57:53.800 That's our exclusive brotherhood. And I talked a little bit about that throughout this podcast

00:57:56.960 outside of that subscribe. Um, I was just looking at it on iTunes. We're just

00:58:01.280 over 3000 ratings, which is very cool. Um, I'd love to get up to 5,000. So if you haven't left a

00:58:10.080 rating and review, do that, please, that's a small way to say thank you for the information

00:58:14.200 that we're putting out and me investing my time and making this content available to you. And of

00:58:18.780 course, also, uh, the visibility comes, it goes a long ways with the ratings. So the more you can

00:58:23.960 rate these in iTunes, uh, the better. So rate and review the podcast on iTunes, connect with me on

00:58:30.420 Instagram and Twitter, both at Ryan Mickler. And, uh, let's stay connected. We need to be in this

00:58:37.560 fight together. That's what we need. We need more men in this battle with us standing shoulder to

00:58:41.660 shoulder in the mission of restoring masculinity. That's what this is all about. So glad you're here.

00:58:48.420 Glad you're tuning in. Thank you for the questions. We'll catch you guys on Friday for the Friday

00:58:52.660 field notes, but until then take action and become the man you are meant to be. Thank you for listening

00:58:57.940 to the order of man podcast. You're ready to take charge of your life and be more of the man you

00:59:02.980 were meant to be. We invite you to join the order at order of man.com.

Order of Man - June 26, 2019

Staying on the Path, Losing Everything and Starting Over, and Managing a Temper ｜ ASK ME ANYTHING

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