Order of Man - Stop Outsourcing Your Power

00:00:00.000 Everything that you need is already inside of you.

00:00:01.900 It's just been buried and pummeled under years of outsourcing responsibility to everything

00:00:08.300 and everyone around you.

00:00:10.040 But guys, reclaiming your power, sovereignty, these buzzwords and phrases that I use, it's

00:00:15.320 not, they're not meant as motivational quotes.

00:00:18.480 It's the discipline that you need every day by saying, if it's to be, it's up to me.

00:00:24.140 Stop outsourcing that power.

00:00:25.840 Stop giving other people the steering wheel of your life.

00:00:30.840 Men, today I want to talk about something that I am seeing everywhere.

00:00:35.580 It's in our culture.

00:00:37.160 It's in our homes.

00:00:38.640 It's in our conversations.

00:00:40.460 And it's even in the men who message me every single day to talk about some of these issues.

00:00:46.480 And that is the fact that men are outsourcing their power.

00:00:50.220 I see it all the time.

00:00:51.560 We hand off our power to our emotions and let our emotional outbursts and concerns get the

00:00:57.900 better of us.

00:00:58.440 We hand it off to institutions like the government and academia and the medical community, financial

00:01:05.220 institutions.

00:01:05.880 We even hand it off to our circumstances.

00:01:08.160 So many men will say, well, you know, because I was raised in this kind of home or because

00:01:12.980 I'm around these types of people or because my boss was this or the employment, my employment

00:01:18.260 situation is this or the economy is that.

00:01:20.700 And, you know, we also hand it off to the stories that we were conditioned to believe

00:01:25.120 as boys.

00:01:25.880 And we were.

00:01:27.260 I want you to think about the destructive thoughts and ideas that you have on a daily basis and

00:01:33.060 ask yourself, where did that come from?

00:01:35.480 Where did that originate?

00:01:36.640 And if it were absolutely true, unequivocally true, then why is it that nobody else necessarily

00:01:44.820 believes that way?

00:01:45.680 Or why is it that some people, even in the same circumstances, are able to produce better

00:01:50.660 results than we are?

00:01:52.340 It's probably because the stories that we're telling.

00:01:54.620 Um, and then, you know, we wonder at the same time why we feel stuck and why we feel frustrated.

00:02:00.920 Many of you are resentful.

00:02:02.560 And guys, what I want to tell you today is that we didn't just lose our power.

00:02:07.880 It's not something that just randomly happened.

00:02:10.000 We gave it away.

00:02:11.400 And that's partly because there's this illusion that power belongs somewhere else and we don't

00:02:19.400 have access to it.

00:02:20.340 You know, men today are trained to believe that somebody else has all of the answers.

00:02:25.940 Like the government will fix the economy.

00:02:28.740 We see that all the time.

00:02:30.000 Uh, my therapist will fix my mindset.

00:02:32.940 My wife will fix the marriage.

00:02:35.000 Um, the school system will fix my kid.

00:02:38.280 The financial institutions have my best interest at heart and will take care of me.

00:02:43.340 Uh, even, even the algorithm.

00:02:44.980 And this is one that I often fall prey to that the social media algorithm will fix my

00:02:50.260 business.

00:02:50.700 And it's this mindset.

00:02:51.880 It becomes the greatest threat to a man's freedom.

00:02:55.180 I really believe that's true because the second you believe someone else caused all of your

00:03:00.840 problems, you also believe that someone else must be able to solve it.

00:03:07.900 I think that's slavery in a way.

00:03:10.740 And that's not physical slavery, obviously, but it's a form of psychological slavery.

00:03:15.120 And the worst part about it is, is that you're the ones putting the shackles on your own

00:03:19.660 wrists.

00:03:21.780 But I, but I think we really need to understand why men, why they abandon responsibility.

00:03:28.780 And I don't always think maybe six, seven, eight, nine, 10 years ago, I believe that it's because

00:03:35.200 men are weak or, or lazy, or they think they are.

00:03:39.920 But I think most of the time it's multifaceted.

00:03:44.060 Number one, responsibility is, is heavy.

00:03:48.820 It's a heavy burden to bear at times.

00:03:50.900 And most men never have been taught that they're supposed to carry the weight.

00:03:54.840 They've never been taught how to carry the weight properly.

00:03:58.040 They often think about some hiking and backpacking trips that I've been on.

00:04:01.200 And as I've learned to do that more effectively, the right kind of pack that you would take on

00:04:07.200 a long haul or a hunt, it's supposed to be form fitted.

00:04:12.080 It's supposed to be high up on your shoulders, resting on your hips.

00:04:15.120 There's a right way to carry it.

00:04:17.000 But too many men have not learned how to carry the weight because their fathers didn't know

00:04:21.440 how to carry the weight if they were around at all.

00:04:23.320 And they were actually told to avoid discomfort.

00:04:28.980 And then also you have to consider that responsibility, it's lonely, actually.

00:04:32.880 When it's all on you, you stand alone.

00:04:35.240 That scares a lot of men because they've never been lonely.

00:04:41.880 They've never been, and I should say isolated.

00:04:45.500 They've never been on their own.

00:04:47.680 They've always been able to rest on the laurels of someone else, their parents, their siblings,

00:04:53.020 their boss, their colleagues, their coworkers, the government.

00:04:57.060 And when you take on responsibility, now it's all on your shoulders.

00:05:00.600 And that can scare a lot of people who have never done it before.

00:05:04.280 And one of the other important things, and this is one of the last points I wanted to make

00:05:08.060 on this particular topic, is that responsibility, what it really does, is it reveals the truth.

00:05:14.900 It reveals the truth.

00:05:16.040 And most men are terrified of the truth.

00:05:19.120 Because if you're responsible, then you're also accountable.

00:05:22.760 And the accountability that you have to the goals and the dreams and the desires and the

00:05:28.120 hopes and the wishes and the promises that you've made and believe about yourself, well,

00:05:32.700 what they do by definition is they expose the gap between who you currently are and who

00:05:40.140 you committed, maybe even to other people you love, that you would be.

00:05:44.300 So instead, many men, they just outsource, they avoid, they numb out, they sedate, they drift,

00:05:51.860 they coast, they hand the very thing away that makes them men, agency, sovereignty.

00:06:00.920 And that's why I wrote the book called Sovereignty, The Battle for the Hearts and Minds of Men.

00:06:05.800 Now, there's a time in your life where everything begins to change.

00:06:10.580 And as we roll into the end of November, beginning of December, and starting to get into 2026,

00:06:17.180 I want that moment to be manufactured by you.

00:06:19.540 I want it to be a moment where you decide right now as you're listening to this podcast,

00:06:23.260 this is my moment.

00:06:24.900 This is the moment where I decide to stop coasting, stop drifting, stop outsourcing my power

00:06:30.580 and reclaim sovereignty for myself.

00:06:32.880 Because if you do that, then the rest of this year is going to be way better than it could

00:06:37.340 have been.

00:06:37.720 And 2026 is going to be your year.

00:06:39.840 Not the one that everybody says, oh, it's my year.

00:06:42.520 2025 was just a warmup.

00:06:43.900 No, actually your year.

00:06:46.680 And it comes when you realize something that nobody is coming to save you.

00:06:52.800 And even if they pretend that they are, there's strings attached that you need to be aware of.

00:06:57.440 And that's not depressing, or at least it shouldn't be.

00:07:01.200 It should be liberating.

00:07:02.140 Because if no one is coming to save you, then you can stop waiting.

00:07:07.980 You know, if you fall over a ship on a cruise that you're on, and you're sitting there in the ocean,

00:07:14.720 you're freaked out, and you're terrified of the water and the currents and the waves and the sharks

00:07:18.400 and everything else, and there's nothing you can do, that's what's depressing.

00:07:22.400 Because you just have to wait and hope that somebody saw you fall overboard,

00:07:26.100 that somebody else is going to tell the captain to turn the ship around and come save you.

00:07:31.460 But in life, it doesn't always work like that.

00:07:33.940 There's things that you can do.

00:07:35.960 You can start moving.

00:07:38.220 And guys, when you take full ownership of your life, your body, your marriage, your finances,

00:07:46.360 your mindset, the mission that you're on, you can stop playing defense and start playing offense.

00:07:55.360 And that's where you really become a bold, assertive, courageous, capable man.

00:08:02.620 And let me give you three ways to do this, because we can address the problems,

00:08:06.900 but if you don't have the solutions, then it becomes a challenge.

00:08:08.920 But I want you to incorporate this stuff into your daily life.

00:08:11.360 So I'm going to share with you three ways that you can reclaim your power right now, today.

00:08:17.280 So number one, stop asking this question.

00:08:20.880 Even if it's subconscious, you have to recognize when you're asking this question,

00:08:24.380 why did this happen to me?

00:08:27.820 Why did my wife decide to leave me?

00:08:29.780 Why does my boss hate me?

00:08:31.060 Why is the economy this way?

00:08:32.460 Why did I get in an accident?

00:08:33.560 You know, this morning, I was driving on the highway,

00:08:36.620 and I looked out my window to the left because I saw a movement that didn't look familiar.

00:08:41.040 It was another vehicle, and it was a mule deer that had crossed the northbound lanes,

00:08:47.640 crossed the median on the highway, and was coming into the southbound lanes,

00:08:52.160 and I was traveling south.

00:08:53.780 And I saw this thing well ahead of time.

00:08:57.520 And the thing ran right in front of me.

00:09:00.060 I had plenty of time to hit my brakes and stop.

00:09:02.460 It ran right in front of me, but it hit the vehicle next to me.

00:09:04.940 And it ran into the front quarter panel, dragged along the side of the truck,

00:09:08.560 ripped the back of the bumper, and bent it.

00:09:11.900 I stopped, and the guys were okay, fortunately.

00:09:15.020 And you know, you have to ask yourself, when you have these crappy moments,

00:09:19.880 you know, I've struck deer before.

00:09:21.560 I've been hit by vehicles before.

00:09:23.760 And we often think, why did this happen to me?

00:09:26.260 If it wasn't for bad luck, I wouldn't have any luck at all.

00:09:28.500 But I had another incident.

00:09:31.740 This was about three weeks ago, three, four weeks ago.

00:09:34.300 And I was driving down the highway with my oldest son, and we were going on a trip.

00:09:40.220 And we got stopped and held up in traffic.

00:09:44.540 And I was so frustrated.

00:09:45.680 We sat in traffic for three hours without moving.

00:09:48.780 And obviously, there was an accident in front of us.

00:09:50.960 I could see it, about 200 yards in front of us, maybe 100 yards.

00:09:53.520 Uh, and I was frustrated.

00:09:56.060 We missed our first flight.

00:09:57.320 We missed our second flight.

00:09:58.260 And we did end up catching the third flight for the hunt that we were supposed to be on.

00:10:01.800 But we were late, and we were frustrated about it.

00:10:03.640 And I was so frustrated.

00:10:04.800 Why did this happen?

00:10:05.880 This always happens to me, just like we all fall into.

00:10:09.620 And then I realized, if I was just 20, 30 seconds earlier,

00:10:16.400 you know, we stopped at the gas station and got ourselves a snack and a drink for the trip

00:10:19.740 down to Las Vegas for a flight.

00:10:21.720 If I was just 20 seconds earlier, or 30 seconds earlier,

00:10:26.680 I could have been in that accident.

00:10:30.240 Somebody who was going on the highway the wrong direction, slammed into a semi truck, dead.

00:10:36.120 I think two or three people in there died instantly.

00:10:39.080 But that could have been us.

00:10:41.260 So did the three-hour delay happen to us, or did it happen for us?

00:10:46.200 Because the real question that you can ask, regardless of what happened to you or for you,

00:10:52.260 is what can I do about it?

00:10:54.860 You know, one of those questions, why did this happen to me?

00:10:57.980 It anchors you in victimhood.

00:11:00.960 And the other liberates you from victimhood.

00:11:04.100 It frees you.

00:11:06.160 It gives you your sovereignty back.

00:11:07.900 What can I do about it?

00:11:08.820 Number two, take control of one domain of your life immediately.

00:11:13.440 Just today.

00:11:14.400 Just one.

00:11:15.360 Even for the next two weeks or until the end of the year.

00:11:17.680 But just pick one.

00:11:19.300 And it might be 30 days of physical discipline.

00:11:21.960 It might be a hard conversation that you've been avoiding.

00:11:28.180 Maybe you and your wife have some unsaid things that need to be addressed.

00:11:32.500 Maybe you need to have a difficult conversation with a coworker who's underproducing.

00:11:36.520 Maybe one of your children is slacking and they need some insight and direction.

00:11:41.400 Could be setting up a morning routine.

00:11:43.600 I mean, how many of you guys get up right when your alarm goes off?

00:11:46.920 Or do you hit the snooze button and dink around a little bit?

00:11:50.040 Scroll social media, waste a bunch of time, spend too much time in the bathroom,

00:11:54.280 and then get out of the house with just enough time to maybe give your wife a kiss

00:11:59.360 and say bye, love you to the kids.

00:12:01.840 What's your morning routine?

00:12:03.140 Maybe it's just eliminating one vice.

00:12:06.780 For the next 30, 45 days, can you stop drinking?

00:12:10.400 Can you stop smoking?

00:12:12.240 Can you stop watching pornography?

00:12:15.320 Can you stop yelling at the people that you love and care about?

00:12:20.040 Can you stop your addiction to your phone?

00:12:22.680 You can do one of those things if you focus on it.

00:12:26.060 Maybe it's learning to lead your home more intentionally by setting up a family meeting every week

00:12:31.540 or doing dinners and meals together.

00:12:34.520 But the reality and the point that I'm making here is that you can start small in very controlled

00:12:40.700 domains of your life.

00:12:41.800 And that's going to create massive rippling effects that will permeate across all other domains.

00:12:48.620 If you get your physical health in check, I promise your marriage will get better.

00:12:52.160 If you can get your marriage better, I promise your financial situation, your career aspirations will go better.

00:12:58.240 That's the beautiful thing about this.

00:12:59.740 Wherever you plug in, everything else is going to improve because of it.

00:13:04.260 And that's how we know these are universal principles that are proven to actually work.

00:13:08.840 All right, guys, number three.

00:13:10.240 And this one's very, very important.

00:13:12.860 Surround yourself with men who hold you to a higher standard.

00:13:16.960 Most of us have default friends.

00:13:19.840 So a default friend would be somebody that's just a friend just because.

00:13:24.300 It could be your neighbor.

00:13:25.500 The only reason they're your friend is because they live right next door to you.

00:13:27.720 It could be somebody that you work with.

00:13:30.860 And the only reason they're your friend is because you happen to work at the cubicle or the office next to them.

00:13:37.260 It could be somebody that you went to high school with.

00:13:40.280 And the only reason you're still their friend is because you went to high school with them 25, 30 years ago.

00:13:45.500 This is one that I often see.

00:13:47.420 You have a friend, but the only reason he's your friend is because it's your wife's friend's husband.

00:13:54.060 Now, there's nothing wrong with those relationships inherently.

00:13:58.140 They might be great guys, and they might be guys that you want to actually have in your band of brothers.

00:14:02.760 But unless you've inventoried it and said, hey, this is a default friendship, but is this one actually serving me?

00:14:10.620 Then you don't really know.

00:14:12.780 And I promise you that that is making a huge difference in the way that you show up.

00:14:17.600 You might not believe it.

00:14:19.020 You might not think it.

00:14:20.000 You might think you're above it.

00:14:21.160 But I promise you, you are impacted and affected and influenced by the environment, the factors, and the people around you.

00:14:29.660 You listening to this podcast today, it's going to influence you for better or worse, even if it's just to a small little sliver of a degree.

00:14:38.580 You having that conversation at dinner with your wife's friend's husband, that's going to impact you.

00:14:46.120 And if he's negative, and if he's broke, and if he's a victim, you're going to be a little bit more of that when you get done with that meeting with him.

00:14:53.760 And this is why tribes, intentional tribes, we have the Iron Council, there's other places, there's other organizations, there's other groups.

00:15:03.160 This is why they matter.

00:15:05.520 Because if you're left alone or you're operating in default friendships, you're going to drift.

00:15:11.120 But in intentional brotherhood, you're going to grow because you're intentional about the kind of growth you want to experience.

00:15:16.120 So, let me give you a few resources.

00:15:19.320 It's very easy.

00:15:20.360 I have four resources for surrounding yourself with great men who are going to hold you to a higher standard.

00:15:25.500 Number one, go to the gym.

00:15:27.160 Take the dang earbuds out of your ears.

00:15:29.480 Go to the gym.

00:15:30.440 Converse.

00:15:30.960 Act like a human being.

00:15:32.420 Open your mouth.

00:15:33.280 Ask for advice.

00:15:34.940 Share compliments.

00:15:35.960 Reach out to people.

00:15:36.860 Connect with people.

00:15:37.660 Give people a fist bump or a thumbs up if they hit a lift.

00:15:40.780 Guys, put yourself out there.

00:15:41.920 So, the gym.

00:15:42.620 The gym could be strength training.

00:15:44.740 It could be jujitsu.

00:15:45.920 It could be a running club.

00:15:47.520 That's what I mean when I say the gym.

00:15:49.280 Church.

00:15:51.060 Go to church.

00:15:52.060 Those guys are all banded together in objective morality, trying to be better, trying to improve.

00:15:58.060 Introduce yourself to the pastor.

00:16:00.040 Introduce yourself to the preacher.

00:16:01.860 Introduce yourself.

00:16:02.560 Go to the men's things that they do, whether it's a Saturday morning workout or a Wednesday night Bible study.

00:16:08.780 Go and insert yourself into those conversations.

00:16:10.960 So, we've got the gym, we've got church, and then we've got business functions.

00:16:18.820 Chamber of Commerce, Rotary, Business Network International.

00:16:22.780 Those men are all trying to build their businesses.

00:16:24.740 Now, some of you might say, well, you know, I don't want to invest.

00:16:27.360 Why?

00:16:28.860 Why wouldn't you invest in that?

00:16:30.180 I can't tell you how often I hear people say, well, you have to pay for friends.

00:16:34.180 What are you talking about?

00:16:36.000 I'm not paying for friends.

00:16:37.520 I'm paying for connections.

00:16:39.700 And paying is such a bad word when it comes to this.

00:16:41.680 You're investing, right?

00:16:43.120 You're investing in other men.

00:16:44.320 They're investing in you, whether it's business or your spiritual growth or your physical growth or even inside the fourth resource, the Iron Council, our exclusive brotherhood of men.

00:16:53.880 Yeah, you're going to pay for that.

00:16:55.840 Now, people are going to mock you and say, oh, you're paying for friends.

00:16:59.040 We're not friends.

00:17:00.120 Have you ever heard me say that the Iron Council is about having friends?

00:17:03.480 No.

00:17:04.080 It's about accountability.

00:17:05.880 It's about systems and tools and processes and procedures that we know works because we've been doing it for 10 years.

00:17:13.160 Would you ever hire a coach and then take it to heart when somebody says, I can't believe you hired a coach.

00:17:18.560 You don't know how to do that thing?

00:17:20.240 No.

00:17:20.780 You would not ever believe that about yourself.

00:17:23.020 Because, you know, hiring a coach in social media marketing or physical fitness or training for a marathon or how to grow your business or how to be a better communicator on stage or in your relationship is only going to pay you huge dividends.

00:17:38.200 So if you're not willing to invest in yourself, then don't complain and cry about not having people in your corner.

00:17:44.160 I saw some statistics today that said upwards of 72 to 73 percent of men are lonely.

00:17:50.440 And yet only 62 percent, if I remember the statistic, were willing to go do anything about it.

00:17:59.020 So you can't say you're lonely or isolated on one hand and then on the other, not put yourself out there in positions where you might be able to meet people and connect.

00:18:10.420 Guys, in brotherhood, whether it's in the Iron Council or one of these other resources, that's where you grow because it's intentional.

00:18:17.120 And if your circle doesn't challenge you, then it's not really a circle.

00:18:21.980 I would probably say it's more like a cage or a prison that you're trapped in.

00:18:28.180 And what's worse is you're the one that erected the bars.

00:18:30.800 You're the one that shackled yourself.

00:18:32.280 You're the one that isolated yourself to that cage.

00:18:36.320 Guys, the reality is, is that the power was never out there somewhere else.

00:18:43.020 It's not like energy where we have to get it from somewhere else.

00:18:46.280 It's renewable energy.

00:18:47.400 It's inside of you.

00:18:48.600 You know, the world conditioned us to believe that our power was external.

00:18:52.560 But every piece of meaningful change that I've ever had in my life came from one place.

00:18:58.840 Two places.

00:18:59.940 I would say God primarily.

00:19:01.980 He breathed that into me.

00:19:03.660 And then I would say me.

00:19:05.140 The decisions I've made.

00:19:06.840 My discipline or lack thereof.

00:19:08.580 My courage or lack thereof.

00:19:10.960 My willingness to confront the guy that stares in the mirror every morning when I'm getting ready for work.

00:19:18.360 Everything that you need is already inside of you.

00:19:20.860 It's just been buried and pummeled under years of outsourcing responsibility to everything and everyone

00:19:27.740 around you.

00:19:29.680 But guys, reclaiming your power, sovereignty, these buzzwords and phrases that I use, it's not,

00:19:36.240 they're not meant as motivational quotes.

00:19:38.180 It's not like a weekend burst of willpower.

00:19:44.460 It's the discipline that you need every day by saying, well, and this might be viewed as a

00:19:52.540 motivational quote, but this is one that I've often heard is that if it's to be, it's up to me.

00:19:57.600 If it's to be, it's up to me.

00:20:00.100 And that's true.

00:20:01.800 Stop outsourcing that power.

00:20:03.680 Stop giving other people the steering wheel of your life.

00:20:08.100 Stand up, guys.

00:20:08.820 Take it back.

00:20:10.340 And really become that man that you are meant to be and that other people need you to be.

00:20:16.620 No more victimhood.

00:20:18.380 No more outsourcing.

00:20:20.860 No more complaining and griping without doing anything about it.

00:20:24.060 Be deliberate.

00:20:24.840 Be intentional.

00:20:25.720 Surround yourself with good people.

00:20:27.000 Go to work.

00:20:27.540 Stop playing the victim game.

00:20:28.640 If you do this, those few things that I alluded to about working in one of those domains.

00:20:35.360 Stop asking, why did this happen to me?

00:20:38.780 Surrounding yourself with men who hold you to a higher standard.

00:20:41.700 If you do that for the next 30 to 40 days through the end of the year,

00:20:45.300 I promise you, you will be nearly unrecognizable on January 1, 2026.

00:20:50.980 And we're not going to wait for New Year's resolutions.

00:20:53.500 We're going to start right now.

00:20:54.380 If you want more ideas and insights, join me and join the thousand plus other men inside

00:21:01.100 the Iron Council, all doing work to be better, to reclaim our sovereignty, and to become the

00:21:06.440 men that we're meant to be.

00:21:08.540 Guys, we'll be back next week.

00:21:09.860 Got a great conversation lined up with Mr. John Lovell, a good friend of mine and the

00:21:14.900 founder of Warrior Poet Society.

00:21:16.920 Do not miss that one.

00:21:18.820 Make sure you subscribe, leave a rating and review.

00:21:21.540 We're at just about 9,000 ratings and reviews on Apple Podcasts.

00:21:25.220 Do it over on Spotify as well.

00:21:26.540 Let's continue to grow this thing because more men need to know that we cannot outsource our

00:21:30.580 power, but we can reclaim our masculine sovereignty.

00:21:35.460 Make it a good one, guys.

00:21:36.500 Have a great weekend.

00:21:37.280 We'll be back next week.

00:21:38.020 Until then, go out there, take action, and become a man.

00:21:40.740 Thank you for listening to the Order of Man podcast.

00:21:45.580 If you're ready to take charge of your life and be more of the man you were meant to be,

00:21:49.600 we invite you to join the order at orderofman.com.

Order of Man - November 28, 2025

Stop Outsourcing Your Power ｜ FRIDAY FIELD NOTES

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