Order of Man - October 04, 2019


Strategies for Vigilance ｜ FRIDAY FIELD NOTES


Episode Stats

Length

33 minutes

Words per Minute

191.58008

Word Count

6,336

Sentence Count

391

Misogynist Sentences

1

Hate Speech Sentences

1


Summary

In this episode of Friday Field Notes, I discuss the importance of remaining vigilant in the wake of recent domestic violence incidents. I talk about a recent incident involving a woman who stabs her own child and her own mother, and how the father reacts.


Transcript

00:00:00.000 You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest, embrace your fears, and boldly chart your own path.
00:00:06.020 When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time, every time.
00:00:10.440 You are not easily deterred or defeated, rugged, resilient, strong.
00:00:15.500 This is your life. This is who you are. This is who you will become.
00:00:19.760 At the end of the day, and after all is said and done, you can call yourself a man.
00:00:24.720 Gentlemen, what is going on today? My name is Ryan Michler, and I am the host and the founder of this podcast and the movement that is Order of Man.
00:00:32.580 If you don't already know what we're about, this is a movement and a mission to reclaim and restore masculinity in a society that seems to be increasingly dismissive of it.
00:00:42.640 So we do that through this podcast. This, of course, is your Friday Field Notes, where you get to listen to me and some of my thoughts about masculinity and what we need to know and do as men.
00:00:51.660 We've got our interview show where I'm interviewing guys like I did earlier in the week with Ryan Holiday.
00:00:56.840 And of course, we've had Jocko Willink on the podcast, David Goggins, Andy Priscilla, Dakota Meyer, so many incredible, incredible men who are doing some absolutely phenomenal things.
00:01:08.660 And it's all designed to give you the tools and the conversations and resources that you need to step up more fully in your life as a man, which is something I think most of us want to do as husbands, fathers,
00:01:19.960 business owners, community leaders, every facet of life that we're showing up.
00:01:24.160 It's my goal to give you everything you need to help you do it more adequately.
00:01:28.060 So again, this is your Friday Field Notes. I've got some thoughts about remaining vigilant because I saw a couple of disturbing videos in the past several weeks.
00:01:35.940 I'm going to get into that here in a minute. But I do want to mention before we get started, our friends and show sponsors, Soren X Equipment.
00:01:44.060 Now, you've heard me talk about these guys probably a little bit. Burt Soren, the president and CEO of Soren X, is a great personal friend of mine.
00:01:51.760 We've been on several hunts together. In fact, as of the release of this podcast, I'll be down in South Carolina spending some time with him and his facility and seeing what they're doing down there.
00:02:02.600 And of course, hopefully getting some working out as well. I'll be interviewing Kyle Carpenter while I'm down there, the youngest living Medal of Honor recipient.
00:02:09.820 So stay tuned for that one as well. We've got some very cool stuff coming up, but back to Soren X.
00:02:15.440 They are a manufacturer, American manufacturer of exercise equipment.
00:02:19.920 So they've got their racks and their weights and all of the standard things you would see, but they've got a couple other cool things as well.
00:02:26.520 One of the things that I really like is their center mass bells. These are, I call them hollow balls, but they're bells hollowed out with a handle inside of them.
00:02:36.600 A very, very versatile with rows and pushes and military press and bench and curls and everything else you might want to do.
00:02:43.820 Thrusters, which I hate, but they make for great thrusters. A very powerful, versatile tool.
00:02:49.400 They've got their racks, which I just mentioned, and they've got a rack they just did for me about a month ago.
00:02:55.420 It's an order of man rack. So it's custom. It's got the order of man orange with the logo and the title on the back plate.
00:03:02.340 Very, very cool. If you're not following on Instagram, you should check it out. And if you want to find the best exercise equipment you can found and made in America, then check out Soren X S O R I N E X.com.
00:03:15.640 Soren X.com and see what they're all about. All right, guys, I want to get into the meat of the discussion today.
00:03:24.140 I want to talk with you about remaining vigilant. Now, the reason I want to talk with you about this is because over the past couple of weeks, I've seen some disturbing videos on, I don't know, Instagram or Facebook, wherever I saw them.
00:03:37.840 One in particular was a family. I gather anyways, a family that's walking down the street and a woman walks by a stranger with a knife in her hand and attempts to stab one of the children in the face.
00:03:52.300 And of course the father reacts. And as he's reacting, she attempts to stab his other child in the face. And then he tries to pursue her. She's flailing her knife around a little bit and he backs up and rethinks what he's about to do.
00:04:07.420 But oh my goodness. I mean, it's easy to be an armchair quarterback and think about what could have been done better, but we don't really know unless we find ourselves in that situation.
00:04:14.980 But it's a testament to remaining vigilant. The other video that I had watched just a couple of days ago, in fact, was a video that my friend Tony Blower had posted.
00:04:26.460 And I don't know the backstory. I think this one's actually pretty popular in the news, but a man was punched, sucker punched. He was surrounded by a group of individuals.
00:04:37.700 They must have been out in public somewhere. I don't know if it was a fair or I don't know what it was.
00:04:42.820 I don't know the backstory, but it looked like he was sucker punched and this individual ended up dying due to that punch.
00:04:49.900 It was, it was violent. And, and it's another testament to the fact that we need to remain vigilant.
00:04:56.440 Now, what I want to talk with you about today is not so much vigilant in the context of physical altercations and violent encounters.
00:05:04.720 Although it could be, I think principles apply broadly to just about every scenario that you can find, which is why, why it's a principle is because they do apply broadly.
00:05:16.460 So when I'm talking about remaining vigilant, uh, I'm talking about being vigilant in, uh, physical spaces, especially if you're out in public, uh, for, and scanning for, and being aware of, uh, potential threats, violent encounters, altercations.
00:05:30.720 But I'm also talking about remaining vigilant with your health. And I'm talking about remaining vigilant with your finances and your business and your relationships, because there is no homeostasis.
00:05:42.780 There's no status in life where we're just coasting and everything is staying the same. Things are constantly changing.
00:05:49.080 The environment is constantly being manipulated and we're either improving, uh, the environment and our ability to respond and react and operate in that environment, or we'll fall.
00:06:00.320 We're falling behind. There is again, no homeostasis, no place where we're just set on cruise control and everything's going to be fine.
00:06:07.320 We have to have to remain vigilant in order to a accomplish our goals, be help others accomplish theirs.
00:06:16.080 That's part of our job as a man is to help our friends and families and colleagues and coworkers and everybody.
00:06:21.520 We have some sort of obligation and responsibility for, uh, and then also the third tenant of masculinity, which is to, uh, protect.
00:06:29.660 Actually, I consider it the first tenant of masculinity is to be that of a protector.
00:06:33.880 So if you want to protect and keep those people safe and keep yourself safe, then you need to be vigilant.
00:06:40.020 So what I thought I'd do with you today, uh, and talk with you about is share five tips that I wrote down here in my, my notepad.
00:06:49.020 You guys see this every week.
00:06:50.360 If you're following on, uh, on YouTube and you've heard me talk about it, of course, on the podcast, uh, five tips for remaining vigilant.
00:06:58.140 Now, what I'd like you to do is I go through these five tips with you today is think that this is not just a physical altercation or a violent encounter.
00:07:06.540 Although again, it could be, uh, but it could be with your finances, your business, your career, your, your health, your wealth, every aspect of your life.
00:07:13.540 And I want you to consider where in your life you might be falling short in some of these areas and where you need to shore up, uh, your ability to be vigilant and keep yourself protected and keep yourself above and beyond that thriving, uh, in your life.
00:07:27.880 And of course the lives of, of the people you have an obligation or responsibility for.
00:07:31.900 So let's just jump right into this.
00:07:33.920 A lot of this is mindset as, as, as opposed to skillset.
00:07:37.560 Uh, we've done some other podcasts with, with guys like Tony Blower.
00:07:40.880 I mentioned earlier, uh, Colonel Dave Grossman, uh, James Yeager is coming on the podcast.
00:07:45.500 We've done a lot of other podcasts that talk about specific tactics.
00:07:48.980 Uh, Tim Kennedy is another one who's talks a lot about that and being the sheepdog, but, uh, we, we do talk a lot about that and, and go back and listen, subscribe to the show.
00:07:56.880 Cause we've got some upcoming guests.
00:07:58.540 Uh, but this is more your mindset and what you need to be thinking about.
00:08:02.560 Cause I think when you get the mind, right, other things start to fall into place and you, you, you, you get the skills and the tools and the things that you need to, uh, improve from there.
00:08:13.120 But getting the mind right is, is first and the most important.
00:08:15.900 So the first mindset that I would share with you with regards to remaining vigilant and being aware of your surroundings, being aware of your finances, being aware of your health, being aware of your relationships.
00:08:25.180 Is you've really got to operate in, in, in, in truth, in the reality of the situation.
00:08:30.820 I think too many people live in this fantasy land, this delusional, uh, reality that just doesn't exist.
00:08:40.620 And people tend to think that things are better off than they really are, or, uh, bad things aren't going to happen to them.
00:08:47.280 There's been studies that suggest that men in particular, uh, overestimate their abilities and then end up underperforming by roughly 40% of the, of what's required.
00:08:58.260 So we, we, we, we, for example, double our projection of how well we'll perform, but we actually end up falling 40% below the benchmark.
00:09:10.120 You know, this is true.
00:09:11.360 When you hear from guys who will say, if they're in a physical altercation, well, I would do this and I would kick this guy's button.
00:09:16.440 Um, they have no physical training, uh, they've never been confronted or dealt with violence and they think that miraculously they're just going to step up into these situations when, when these things happen.
00:09:28.480 Uh, there's a great quote and I can't remember right off hand who said it, but I think the Navy SEALs have adopted this as one of their unofficial mantras.
00:09:36.360 Uh, and it's, you don't, uh, rise to the level of your expectation.
00:09:41.520 You fall to the level of your training.
00:09:43.620 And I would also add to that you fall to your sense of reality.
00:09:50.620 All right.
00:09:51.500 You've got to be truthful about where you are.
00:09:54.240 Now, obviously we know this applies in physical altercations, but I'll give you another couple of contexts here.
00:10:00.100 I know guys who won't jump on the scale because they're afraid to see what that scale says.
00:10:06.440 They know they're fat.
00:10:07.360 They know they're out of, out of, out of shape.
00:10:09.220 They know they're overweight.
00:10:10.360 They know they need to do something about it.
00:10:12.100 And yet they refuse to jump on the scale because they don't want to make it real.
00:10:16.880 They don't want to make it tangible.
00:10:18.280 They'd rather remain in ignorant bliss.
00:10:21.200 And that works only so well until you have a heart attack or you're diagnosed with diabetes and you die an early death when it didn't have to happen.
00:10:27.760 If you would have just faced reality.
00:10:29.640 Another example is guys as a former financial advisor.
00:10:33.620 I would see men who would refuse to look at their bank account.
00:10:37.920 Like they, they knew they were, they were, weren't doing well.
00:10:42.140 They knew they were, had no money in the account.
00:10:44.140 They knew they were up to their eyeballs in debt.
00:10:45.740 And yet they won't look at their bank account to get that fundamental foundational truth about where they are because they're afraid to make it real.
00:10:53.600 We have to operate in reality.
00:10:55.820 And you know, if we fall short and all of us do, uh, then it's not comfortable to look at the reality of the situation.
00:11:04.200 It's not a pleasant thing to have to look in the mirror or look at the bank account or look on the scale and say that you're inadequate or you're not doing good.
00:11:12.040 But guys, if you want to improve, and I imagine you do, because you're either watching or listening to this podcast, then you've, you've got to deal in reality, operate in reality.
00:11:23.200 All right.
00:11:23.840 It's, it's not okay to operate in ignorance because what you end up doing is leaving all sorts of little blind spots that you refuse to see.
00:11:32.800 And then you open yourself up and expose yourself to potential threats.
00:11:37.500 So the mindset that you have to adopt in your life, especially when it comes to remaining vigilant is operating in reality, operate in reality.
00:11:48.860 Again, think about how this lesson and all the other lessons and topics I'm going to share with you today, apply to your personal situation.
00:11:55.620 Where are you lying to yourself?
00:11:59.260 Where are you falling short?
00:12:01.000 Where have you put a blindfold on and what element and aspect of your life do you not want to see?
00:12:06.240 Because you're scared of what it looks like.
00:12:08.400 I get it.
00:12:09.800 I get it.
00:12:10.840 But if you address it correctly, lift the blindfold off and deal and operate in reality, you are going to be that much better moving forward than had you not done it at all.
00:12:22.640 So again, step number one, uh, operate in reality.
00:12:25.700 Number two is address everything with a healthy dose of skepticism.
00:12:30.640 Now this one's tough, uh, because it could border on, uh, becoming paranoid or obsessive.
00:12:38.160 And that's why I say a healthy dose of skepticism.
00:12:41.720 And there is a healthy dose and there is an unhealthy dose.
00:12:45.580 If you take it too far, uh, you become, you know, the, the doomsday prepper that, you know, that's all he focuses on.
00:12:53.260 And he can't, he doesn't have a family or a life or a business because he's neglected all of those things and focus so heavily on something that may never come.
00:13:01.220 Uh, I, I don't think you need to get to that stage.
00:13:03.680 I think there's a, a, a, a, a happy medium, a place where you can be, uh, skeptical, uh, you can, you can have and show some concern.
00:13:13.320 You can worry about what might be coming, but if you would address everything as a healthy dose of skepticism, you're going to set yourself up for, uh, seeing these potential blind spots that you wouldn't have recognized earlier.
00:13:24.700 So when you're out in public, all right, what, what's the healthy dose of skepticism?
00:13:29.580 You know, I remember one time in particular, uh, I was in Las Vegas.
00:13:34.600 I was at a gas station that I wasn't familiar with.
00:13:37.860 Uh, my eight year old son and I had just rented a luxury car for the weekend.
00:13:43.600 Cause I wanted to take them around and treat him to that.
00:13:45.460 And I pulled into this gas station with this very nice car and, uh, a homeless man approached me and I didn't know
00:13:54.560 who he was.
00:13:55.260 I didn't know what he wanted.
00:13:56.460 I didn't know what he wanted to do.
00:13:57.780 And so I deliberately and intentionally kept him away from me.
00:14:01.500 He wanted to keep coming into my space, but I didn't allow him to come into my space.
00:14:05.840 I put my hands up.
00:14:06.880 I said, just stay right there.
00:14:08.400 What can I help you with?
00:14:09.860 And he says, Oh, I'm just looking for money or I'm looking for food.
00:14:12.220 I can't remember what he said.
00:14:13.520 So I said, great.
00:14:14.440 I will buy you some food.
00:14:16.600 So he says, okay, I'll go into the gas station with you.
00:14:19.140 I said, well, you'll go into the gas station.
00:14:20.740 I will follow you.
00:14:22.360 So he went in, I followed him.
00:14:24.560 I maintained a safe distance.
00:14:26.300 I allowed him to get whatever he wanted.
00:14:28.060 I think he picked up a sandwich or a burrito or something.
00:14:30.280 I can't remember.
00:14:31.420 Uh, he put it at the register, maintain contact and eyesight with him, uh, bought his burrito.
00:14:36.340 He took it left, said, thank you.
00:14:38.040 And he was on his way.
00:14:38.860 Now I think most of that was noble intentions, but I don't know.
00:14:43.140 I don't know.
00:14:44.540 How could I know?
00:14:45.540 And had I not approached it with a healthy dose of skepticism, if his intentions were less
00:14:50.860 than honorable, I could have put myself and my son in a very, uh, compromising situation.
00:14:57.600 You know, I was also checking my surroundings.
00:14:59.660 Maybe he was a distraction.
00:15:00.900 I don't know, but guys, we have to approach our lives with a healthy dose of skepticism.
00:15:06.280 I'm always amazed, for example, when it comes to finances that people, and I know, I know
00:15:12.000 individuals who have been conned out of money via a text message and via one of these emails
00:15:19.520 that says you've won or I've won $10 million and I need to funnel it to America.
00:15:24.680 So I don't get it stolen or something.
00:15:26.900 You know, you guys know what I'm talking about.
00:15:28.580 I know people who have fallen for these scams.
00:15:32.140 These are intelligent, thoughtful people.
00:15:36.280 These aren't morons.
00:15:37.600 And yet they fall for these scams all the time.
00:15:41.500 Why?
00:15:41.920 Because they aren't vigilant and they aren't approaching their life with a healthy dose of
00:15:47.600 skepticism.
00:15:48.620 Guys, you need to verify things.
00:15:50.820 You need to make sure that what's happening around you is really what's happening around
00:15:55.500 you.
00:15:55.760 You need to be aware of what could potentially go wrong.
00:15:58.140 And I'll get into that point here in a minute, but be skeptical.
00:16:02.720 Don't be a jerk.
00:16:03.760 Don't be negative.
00:16:05.380 Don't be down all the time.
00:16:06.820 Don't be the weird psycho who's the doomsday or who can't have a conversation with anybody
00:16:11.280 or operate in reality, but don't live in ignorant bliss either.
00:16:15.520 Don't be so naive.
00:16:16.860 You know, people are after your money.
00:16:18.600 There's bad people out there.
00:16:19.840 There's great people too, but there's bad actors out there.
00:16:22.880 And if you aren't aware of that and truthful about that and skeptical about people want your
00:16:27.740 money, they want your time.
00:16:29.160 They want your attention.
00:16:30.100 They want what you have there.
00:16:31.340 They covet what you have.
00:16:32.520 Then you're going to put yourself and other people in a bad situation.
00:16:35.460 So be skeptical.
00:16:36.880 Again, don't take it to the extreme.
00:16:38.740 Find the happy medium, but be skeptical.
00:16:40.600 That's point number two.
00:16:41.840 Now, point number three, I alluded to a minute ago.
00:16:43.920 I said, be aware of what could potentially go wrong.
00:16:46.820 Uh, there's a term, I think it's mostly used probably in, in military and law enforcement
00:16:52.560 communities.
00:16:52.980 And also, uh, the corporate environment is this idea of red teaming, red teaming.
00:16:58.520 A lot of you have probably heard about red teaming and have some familiarity with it,
00:17:02.540 but the whole idea of red teaming is to create, uh, or have an individual or a group of individuals,
00:17:09.640 uh, try to poke holes in your strategy, in your plan, your service, your product, whatever
00:17:15.160 you might be evaluating, because if you do that, then you're going to start to explode,
00:17:20.340 expose, not explode, expose the potential flaws in that thing that you're evaluating.
00:17:27.040 And if you can expose the flaws, then you can address it before something goes south,
00:17:33.420 before something goes wrong.
00:17:35.400 So when I'm out in public, for example, I'm using this concept of red teaming and I'm at
00:17:41.520 a restaurant, for example, with my wife and kids, what could go wrong?
00:17:45.460 If an active shooter came into this, into this building, uh, what would that individual
00:17:50.460 try to do?
00:17:51.080 And how would I respond, right?
00:17:53.800 If I'm, if I'm worrying about, uh, starting a podcast or growing a business, uh, what could
00:17:59.320 potentially go wrong?
00:18:00.600 What are my threats?
00:18:01.560 What do I need?
00:18:02.660 Or am I exposing myself to?
00:18:04.320 And if I can be aware of that upfront and really try to play out this negative situation,
00:18:09.800 then I'm inevitably going to put myself in a better situation because I'm prepared for
00:18:15.340 that.
00:18:15.560 Again, so many people are, they're in la la land, right?
00:18:20.260 They're thinking about how everything's wonderful and everything's going to be great.
00:18:23.420 And they have this unhealthy or unrealistic expectation of how good they are and nothing
00:18:28.580 bad's ever going to happen to them.
00:18:29.880 And they're safe.
00:18:30.620 And then before you know it, this is the person who gets hurt, killed, injured, bankrupt,
00:18:35.220 sick, whatever, because they weren't willing to look at the darker side of situations and
00:18:40.740 frankly, human nature.
00:18:41.840 And it is in our nature to not only be good, but also be bad.
00:18:46.280 And if you aren't real about that and truthful about that and willing to explore that dark
00:18:52.260 path and you expose yourself to situations that are not good for you.
00:18:56.560 So red team, everything, what could go wrong?
00:18:59.880 What vulnerabilities do I have?
00:19:02.260 What am I potentially, what risk am I potentially exposing myself to you?
00:19:06.060 Start answering these questions and thinking about these questions.
00:19:09.060 You're going to shore up these areas before anything bad happens in your life.
00:19:13.080 So again, number three, a red team, red team, your, your scenarios, your environments, your
00:19:18.720 projects, your, your services, your offerings, everything red team at all.
00:19:23.720 Uh, number four, I added one.
00:19:26.920 So I might actually get to six here, but, uh, number four, I believe is what I'm on is this.
00:19:33.720 Again, these are mindsets, right?
00:19:35.300 Not so much the hard skills, but the soft skills, the mindset of the way we approach this.
00:19:39.060 Is the phrase hope for peace, but prepare for war, hope for peace, but prepare for war.
00:19:46.980 Gentlemen, you've got to get yourself prepared.
00:19:48.900 You've got to harden yourself against the environment.
00:19:53.920 So how does it look like to be prepared with regards to, we'll go through some key components,
00:19:58.540 finances, for example, learn to budget, learn to manage your money, learn to invest, learn
00:20:04.820 the term financial terms that you need to know, get your insurances and your estate planning
00:20:09.420 documents in order, get all of this stuff, stuff taken care of.
00:20:12.400 Even if you hire a financial advisor, cause again, I come from a background of being a former
00:20:17.400 financial advisor, you can't completely outsource the responsibility of taking care of your money.
00:20:23.040 And I had people that would do that.
00:20:24.260 They wanted me to hand it a law, handle all of their finances, and they didn't want to
00:20:29.000 have anything to do with it.
00:20:30.320 And I told these individuals, that's a mistake.
00:20:32.460 Now, granted, I'm going to try to do the best I can.
00:20:35.440 And I feel like I I'm going to be honorable and work well for you because that's who I
00:20:42.060 am.
00:20:42.520 But look, it'd be very, very easy for another individual to take advantage of you.
00:20:47.120 You cannot completely outsource the responsibility of your finances, your relationships, your health,
00:20:52.980 your life.
00:20:53.720 Essentially Pat McNamara, who I had on the podcast said something to the effect, and I'm going
00:20:58.080 to butcher this.
00:20:58.500 He said, as the agent in charge of your own executive security detail, you are the agent
00:21:05.580 in charge of your own executive security detail.
00:21:08.580 You, even if you hire somebody else, a financial advisor, a CPA, some sort of consultant, even
00:21:14.960 a bodyguard in any context, if you hire somebody else to take care of these things for you,
00:21:19.560 you still have a responsibility for these things.
00:21:22.360 And so if shit goes wrong and it goes south and you haven't prepared for it, you're going
00:21:26.180 to find yourself in a bad way, a bad situation.
00:21:29.220 So yeah, you can hope that things are going to be great.
00:21:32.980 You can hope that things are going to be wonderful.
00:21:34.960 In fact, I think hope is a great, is a great virtue.
00:21:38.280 We should have hope because I think if we have hope, then we're moved to do something better
00:21:42.860 with our lives.
00:21:43.580 Hope isn't just sitting back and, and waiting for things to happen.
00:21:47.260 Hope is optimism.
00:21:49.060 Hope is that things will work out.
00:21:51.340 If you're doing the right things, hope is a great thing, but if that's all you're doing
00:21:55.820 and you're not moving to action, then you're selling yourself short and you're exposing
00:21:59.620 yourself to all sorts of risks that you shouldn't be exposing yourself to or other people to.
00:22:04.820 So the mindset is I'm going to hope for peace, but I'm going to prepare for war.
00:22:09.080 I'm going to bat.
00:22:10.140 I'm going to be ready to battle.
00:22:11.520 I've got my finances in order.
00:22:13.220 I have the skill sets I need.
00:22:15.400 I'm inoculating myself against injury and illness by being physically fit and putting
00:22:20.740 the right foods into my body.
00:22:22.160 I'm training with weapons that I might potentially use or come into contact with.
00:22:27.140 I'm going to know how to hunt.
00:22:28.480 I'm going to save enough money for rainy days and bad situations.
00:22:31.920 I'm going to be situationally aware.
00:22:33.460 I'm going to think about my environment.
00:22:34.940 I'm going to red team.
00:22:35.720 I'm going to develop all of these skills that I need to put myself in a better situation.
00:22:40.460 If you aren't doing that, you're not getting in a better situation.
00:22:43.480 And trust me, you're not in that homeostasis stage where everything's just wonderful.
00:22:47.680 And it just maintains the current course of action.
00:22:49.720 If you aren't improving, other people around you are improving.
00:22:52.800 And hopefully the people around you that are improving are positive people, good people,
00:22:57.980 but they're not all.
00:23:00.480 Some of them are improving, but they have a ill will and ill wishes towards you.
00:23:05.080 And if you're not improving and inoculating yourself against that, you're opening yourself
00:23:08.740 up to, uh, to negativity at best and, and violent encounters at worst.
00:23:13.880 Uh, so that's number four, uh, number five.
00:23:16.420 I really liked this, this concept.
00:23:17.940 And this goes back to those videos I was telling you about earlier when I saw the, uh, the,
00:23:23.720 uh, family who, who the kids were attacked by this, this, this woman with a knife.
00:23:28.780 And then the guy who got sucker punched is get yourself off the X.
00:23:33.580 Okay.
00:23:33.940 Get yourself off the X.
00:23:35.660 The X alludes to the place.
00:23:39.780 And we'll call it a physical place for now, but it could be mental places while we'll talk
00:23:43.840 about that here in a second, but the physical place, uh, that an attack or a situation is
00:23:48.800 going to happen.
00:23:49.460 So if there's a violent encounter or a physical altercation, you don't need to be a hero.
00:23:55.280 Now in some cases you might, but not all situations require you to, to fight or to put yourself
00:24:02.940 in this environment.
00:24:03.700 I think sometimes a lot of the times we as men allow our egos to put ourselves in situations
00:24:10.400 that we don't have to be in.
00:24:11.980 In fact, that we shouldn't be in because it's going to, it's going to end up hurting us
00:24:16.300 and that people around us.
00:24:17.400 So if you notice that something's off, even if it's just intuitively, you feel like something's
00:24:21.880 off, then get yourself off the X, get yourself out of that environment.
00:24:26.540 I was walking, uh, down the, the Las Vegas Boulevard with, with my, uh, I think it was
00:24:32.020 my oldest son.
00:24:32.880 This was several years ago.
00:24:34.820 And there was this, he, obviously he was, he was homeless, uh, and he was probably on
00:24:41.140 drugs because he was talking to himself and acting crazy.
00:24:45.580 And my son saw him and he says, dad, can we go this way?
00:24:48.300 I said, yeah, absolutely.
00:24:49.280 We can go this way.
00:24:50.160 So we went another way, kept our eye on this individual, kept walking, no problem, nothing
00:24:54.720 happened.
00:24:55.160 And it was great.
00:24:56.260 And I said, Hey, can you tell me a little bit about why you made that decision?
00:24:59.320 And he says, well, I just saw this guy and I didn't know who he was.
00:25:01.620 And I figured it'd be best to avoid him.
00:25:03.000 And I said, that's absolutely right.
00:25:04.380 We did a little after action review, uh, right there on the spot.
00:25:07.860 And I said, you did the right thing.
00:25:09.740 He's like, yeah, but I was worried because maybe he wouldn't do anything.
00:25:12.320 I said, maybe, maybe he wouldn't have done anything if we walked past him.
00:25:15.600 Maybe he would have, but what we did by taking an alternate course is we removed or all but
00:25:22.220 eliminated that potential threat.
00:25:24.060 And that's a much better way to handle ourselves than to walk around again, an ignorant bliss,
00:25:28.320 hoping things aren't going to happen and then not being prepared when they do.
00:25:32.160 So get yourself off the X in, in, in other situations, in other contexts, uh, you might
00:25:39.460 be faced with, uh, some sort of confrontation, or maybe it's even something that you just don't
00:25:45.060 want to do, you know, maybe a friend, uh, asked for your, for your help, uh, and, or,
00:25:51.440 or, or, or need something from you and you don't want to do it.
00:25:55.140 Or somebody is making a demand of you at work and you don't want to do it.
00:25:58.860 And it's not your responsibility to do it.
00:26:01.080 What I say is get yourself off the X.
00:26:03.820 What does that mean?
00:26:04.580 It means get some margin, give yourself some space, some time and physical space between
00:26:09.960 you two in the situation.
00:26:11.360 So you can make better calls moving forward.
00:26:14.140 I've had people request things of me that I'm not interested in doing, uh, and then I'm,
00:26:18.420 that I'm not going to do.
00:26:19.860 Uh, and very simply I've said, Hey, thank you for asking.
00:26:23.620 Uh, when do you need a response by?
00:26:26.100 And they tell me, I'd like a response by tomorrow.
00:26:28.760 Great.
00:26:29.560 I can get back with you by tomorrow.
00:26:31.240 That gives me the opportunity now to take the next 24 hours to figure out, okay, is this
00:26:36.620 something I want to do?
00:26:37.540 Is it not something I want to do?
00:26:39.200 And if it's not something I want to do, how am I going to address it?
00:26:42.160 But you're getting yourself off the X so that you can make better decisions.
00:26:46.220 You can't make great decisions on the X because you're emotional.
00:26:50.720 Your, your stress levels are high.
00:26:52.720 Your cortisol levels go up.
00:26:54.400 Uh, the, the endorphins and everything are kicking around.
00:26:57.300 Like you're not making rational decisions in that moment.
00:27:00.500 So in order to put yourself in a better situation, remove yourself, eliminate the potential threat
00:27:06.880 right then and there, move yourself off the X, get yourself into a better environment,
00:27:11.220 a better situation.
00:27:12.660 Uh, and then you can make more reasonable, rational, logical choices and actions and behaviors
00:27:17.860 moving forward.
00:27:19.060 So that's number five.
00:27:20.460 And when I started this, I said you'd have five, but the first one that I said was operate
00:27:25.200 in truth.
00:27:25.680 That was one I threw in as we were talking.
00:27:27.460 So I've got one more.
00:27:28.820 So this is a bonus considered a bonus for you.
00:27:31.260 And that is eliminate complacency.
00:27:33.780 Uh, when I was in Iraq in 2005 and into 2006, uh, we were in Ramadi, Iraq and on our
00:27:41.420 FOB, which is forward operating base.
00:27:43.720 Uh, there was a sign at one of the gates.
00:27:46.460 And as we left the wire is what we called it.
00:27:49.380 As we left the wire, that sign said complacency kills.
00:27:52.920 It was a big green sign with lead, uh, red lettering stenciled, uh, lettering, and it
00:27:58.860 said complacency kills.
00:28:00.560 And in that case, it was literal death.
00:28:03.200 If we weren't vigilant and we weren't aware of our surroundings and we weren't aware of
00:28:07.720 our environment and we were just taking it easy and we become accustomed to the default
00:28:11.480 and the status quo, then you are exposing yourself to literal death.
00:28:18.000 Now there's not a whole lot of situations in modern times where you might be dealing with
00:28:22.620 the threat of actual death.
00:28:25.020 But if you aren't aware of your finances, then you potentially run the risk of going
00:28:32.240 bankrupt.
00:28:33.380 If you are complacent with your business dealings and not looking for new ways to evolve and
00:28:38.180 grow and expand, then you run the risk of, uh, being run over by the guy, the competitor
00:28:44.600 behind you, who's, who's really striving to catch up and who isn't complacent.
00:28:48.680 If in your relationship, you take your wife for granted and you think that just because
00:28:55.680 you're married, that she owes you something and you forget to court her and, and, and keep
00:29:00.640 her involved in your decisions and show her your affection and appreciation.
00:29:04.980 Well, that's probably going to end pretty rough for you and the relationship.
00:29:10.540 So don't get complacent.
00:29:13.360 It's easy to do when you're successful.
00:29:17.000 When you're successful, it's very, very easy to think that this is always going to be that
00:29:21.780 you're always going to be successful.
00:29:23.820 Guys, things don't last.
00:29:25.380 All right.
00:29:25.920 Your level of success doesn't last to the degree that it is now.
00:29:29.160 Bad things don't last either.
00:29:31.660 Okay.
00:29:31.840 You've got to be vigilant, aware, don't let yourself slip into complacency.
00:29:37.980 And when you feel yourself starting to coast and get comfortable, mix up the environment,
00:29:42.180 change things around, try to get, uh, in an uncomfortable situation, not dangerous, not
00:29:48.000 dangerous, but an uncomfortable situation so that you can stir that thing up and stop being
00:29:52.780 so complacent and comfortable with where you are.
00:29:54.940 Because if you are, you're exposing yourself to risks that you can't even recognize and
00:29:59.820 see right now.
00:30:00.820 So that's my, that's my suggestions.
00:30:03.860 Those are my tips for you.
00:30:05.540 Let's recap.
00:30:06.400 And then we'll call it a day and let you get to it.
00:30:08.080 But again, I'm going to say this.
00:30:09.360 I want you to think about this in the context of you going out into the world, going out into
00:30:15.460 an environment, dealing with your business, dealing with your relationships in your physical
00:30:19.560 fitness, every facet of life, how you have become potentially vigilant and how you
00:30:24.740 can incorporate these six steps to be, uh, more vigilant in, in your life.
00:30:29.320 Uh, again, number one, operate and deal from a place of truth and reality.
00:30:34.840 None of this, my truth BS.
00:30:36.800 I'm talking about real truth with a capital T reality, not opinion, not perception reality.
00:30:44.860 Number two is approach everything with a healthy dose of skepticism.
00:30:50.020 We don't need to be paranoid.
00:30:51.300 We don't need to be that guy, but we should approach things with a healthy dose of skepticism.
00:30:56.720 Uh, number three, red team, look for defaults and little chinks in the armor that you can't,
00:31:03.600 that could potentially be exposed and expose yourself to unnecessary risk.
00:31:07.160 Uh, number four is hope for peace, prepare for war.
00:31:10.940 So be optimistic, be hopeful that things are going to go well, but also be prepared if they
00:31:15.620 aren't a number five is get yourself off the X, get yourself out of that environment into
00:31:21.780 a more safer, more secure, uh, environment.
00:31:24.700 One that you can think about logically and reasonably reasonably and make good decisions.
00:31:29.040 And then of course, the last one is to eliminate any sort of complacency in your life, identify
00:31:34.460 where you're complacent and then make plans to shore those areas up.
00:31:38.220 So gentlemen, I hope that helps.
00:31:39.900 I want you to share this with somebody, another man who needs to hear this.
00:31:43.220 You know, I put out a lot of great content.
00:31:45.040 Hopefully I believe it is.
00:31:46.220 I'm biased.
00:31:46.660 I know, uh, for free, you don't have to pay for this stuff.
00:31:50.660 And I'm hoping that it's helping you in some capacity.
00:31:53.800 So if it is just share it, do your part by sharing this word and sharing this message
00:31:58.560 with another man who needs to hear it, who needs to implement some of our teachings into
00:32:02.320 his life and put himself and the people he has an obligation responsibility for in a
00:32:07.380 better situation.
00:32:08.760 So, uh, with that said, we're going to call it a day and a weekend.
00:32:12.420 We'll be back next week, uh, for another great interview with the one and only Jack
00:32:16.980 Carr.
00:32:17.760 Uh, he's the author of the terminal list and true believer, and then savage son, which is
00:32:23.160 the third book in the installment series of, uh, of his, his thriller series, uh, with
00:32:28.880 James Reese.
00:32:29.780 But, uh, we've got a great interview with him, former Navy SEAL, and, uh, now, uh, an amazing,
00:32:35.100 amazing author.
00:32:35.860 So make sure you subscribe, uh, leave a rating and review on, uh, iTunes.
00:32:40.560 If you want to check out YouTube and see this video, head to youtube.com slash order of
00:32:44.900 man, leave me a comment, subscribe to the channel, uh, make sure we stay connected.
00:32:49.160 All right, guys, we'll let you get going, go out there, take action, become the man you
00:32:53.140 are meant to be.
00:32:54.260 Thank you for listening to the order of man podcast.
00:32:57.040 You're ready to take charge of your life and be more of the man you were meant to be.
00:33:00.840 We invite you to join the order at order of man.com.