Order of Man - Strategy is Downstream From Mindset, How Pastors and Therapists are Failing Men, and Holding Elected Officials Accountable ｜ ASK ME ANYTHING

00:00:00.000 You're a man of action. You live life to the fullest. Embrace your fears and boldly chart

00:00:04.980 your own path. When life knocks you down, you get back up one more time. Every time.

00:00:10.420 You are not easily deterred or defeated. Rugged. Resilient. Strong. This is your life. This

00:00:16.800 is who you are. This is who you will become. At the end of the day, and after all is said

00:00:21.840 and done, you can call yourself a man. Mr. Kip Sorensen, what's up brother? Great to

00:00:27.180 see you again. Good to see you. Two days, two weeks in a row, we're on a roll of these AMAs.

00:00:33.740 Now that we have a bunch of people lined up to be able to fill in in our stead, now we're

00:00:38.300 like, no, we're not doing. Look, this is the power of accountability. You got somebody nipping

00:00:42.580 at your heels. It's like, I'm going to hit every single one. I know Sean Villalobos is 0.97

00:00:48.560 chomping at the bit to get in here. I'm sure that'll happen sooner rather than later, but

00:00:53.560 Kip, I'm just letting you know, you got a target on your back.

00:00:55.580 I know. Totally. I love, and I love how you guys do it as like out of support. Hey,

00:01:00.480 you know, if you guys ever care about you, you ever need someone superior to, I mean,

00:01:04.840 anyone to backfill for you, you let me know.

00:01:07.640 That's right. We got to just do like a tryout. Maybe just do an annual tryout and see, you

00:01:13.020 know, how you stack up Kip. Hey, speaking of stacking up, are you a brown belt?

00:01:17.820 I am. I am. But wait, I thought you were testing or moving towards your black belt. So fill us in

00:01:26.600 right there. Yeah. So the weekend of immersion, so we'll be in Maine, right? For the week of

00:01:32.880 immersion. I'm flying home that Friday instead of Saturday because I have my belt test on the 28th

00:01:39.000 for my black. You need to tell your guys, bump it up a week or two. Let's go. I'm ready. Let's do

00:01:45.220 this now because I want to be a black belt at immersion camp. It's funny. There's a couple of

00:01:50.900 guys I train with, close training partners. They joke around. His name's Chris. He jokes around about

00:01:56.580 how there's this, what does he call it? Like pre-belt test training. Like once the group of us knew

00:02:05.500 that we're testing, the intensity of trainings has skyrocketed. Everyone's like, oh, I got to be in

00:02:15.580 black belt mode now, right? And so, and even Clint's like, man, the training is like way rougher than it 0.99

00:02:24.460 normally is. Someone ripped off my shoulder. I'm like, I, the culture's a little bit in this

00:02:29.360 intense, uh, training mode right now because everyone's trying to prove their worth as it

00:02:35.800 should be. I remember. So several months ago, maybe four months or so ago now, I don't really remember

00:02:41.700 when I got my blue belt. So what they did. I love how you downplay like four months ago. No,

00:02:47.540 what Ryan's really, he's like on April 5th at 5 PM when I got my blue belt.

00:02:54.460 Yeah. Totally. A hundred percent. You got me. You got me. When I got my blue belt, whenever it was.

00:03:02.760 Yeah. Uh, they awarded me my blue belt and they don't normally do this. So I don't know why they

00:03:09.380 did it to me, but I welcome the challenge. They said, all right, here's your blue belt.

00:03:13.780 And now you have to roll with everybody for a minute straight, everybody in the gym. So

00:03:19.000 the first guy went and the second guy went and the third guy went and I had to roll for probably

00:03:24.040 15 minutes straight with all the guys. And it started from white up to black. Yeah. And I was

00:03:31.840 like, Holy cow. Everybody got better like instantaneously. And then I thought, okay,

00:03:38.360 either they're going harder, which I can accept. I would acknowledge that. Yeah. Or they were taking

00:03:44.460 it easy on me, which I don't accept. I don't like that. Yeah. So. And they're like, let's make him

00:03:51.980 earn this. Yeah. And I, I mean, I already earned it. I already had it, but they just wanted to punish

00:03:57.300 me, you know, it's funny how that is. Uh, I think it's accountability of men though. I really think

00:04:05.880 how they were talked about it with everybody's going harder. Right. And, and, you know, we kind

00:04:12.040 of jacked y'all a little bit about it and say it sucks, but it, and it does suck no doubt, but it's 0.98

00:04:17.440 also good and right. And true for men, that level of accountability and camaraderie with other men 0.94

00:04:23.220 is what pushes us and propels us forward. And it's oftentimes, frankly, it should be very

00:04:30.980 uncomfortable. Yeah. What were you going to say though? No, I was just going to say, um,

00:04:38.260 Vitor Shaolin does their, he does his belt testing that way. Like you teach a class and then the whole

00:04:43.100 class shows up to like, just punish you for an hour. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Good. As it should be. I love

00:04:50.700 it. I love when I see guys get belt promotions and they walk, they, they line the guys up in two

00:04:55.400 vertical columns and they like whack them over the back with their belt and people who don't

00:05:00.000 understand the culture, like, Oh, that's barbaric. And why would they do that? But there's something

00:05:04.680 very, very powerful about that award ceremony that is coupled with pain and suffering. Even if it's just

00:05:12.160 slapping you hard on the back of the belt, uh, or like most of popular and in modern culture doesn't

00:05:19.280 get that, but I'm telling you for guys, we inherently and instinctively, we love that stuff.

00:05:25.400 We, we, we, we thrive off of it. We were attracted to it and we need to find more of it in our lives.

00:05:31.880 Totally. No, I totally agree. And, and the, I think the part of this where men go sideways is when,

00:05:40.700 when they choose to allow something like that to break them instead.

00:05:45.780 Mm-hmm. And they go, Oh, we're personally, right. As like some sort of slide or these guys are out

00:05:51.560 to get me. Exactly. Instead of, I know we're here to actually embrace and help you and serve you.

00:05:56.340 Yeah. And instead of checking themselves, they go, Oh, well that's wrong. Right. Cause I felt

00:06:01.520 offended. And it's like, or you could actually choose not to be offended or you could actually

00:06:07.840 humble yourself or you could check your ego. Yeah. And maybe that's what needs to happen

00:06:13.620 in those circumstances. Well, there, and there's another element to this. We, as men crave so

00:06:19.920 deeply for this stuff that you see young men who don't have positive male influences in their lives

00:06:25.680 join gangs and actually gangs do the same thing, but they don't do it with any morality behind it.

00:06:33.140 So what do you have to do to join a gang? We all know you have to get jumped in or you have to,

00:06:37.660 you have to commit some sort of illegal, you know, crime against someone else. Right. Yeah. So

00:06:44.580 men crave it so inherently and instinctively that we'll do it in unhealthy ways. So it's not that we

00:06:52.860 should avoid it all together. It's just that we should attach morality and meaning and fulfillment

00:06:58.160 and positivity behind the, uh, the, the, the, the initiation if you, if you will. And so, you know,

00:07:08.720 jumping, getting jumped in with a gang versus getting jumped in. Once you get your blue or your

00:07:13.760 brown or your purple or your black belt, same, same concept, really it is same concept. It's the

00:07:21.120 meaning behind it. And so we, as men need to do two things, we need to seek the positive outlets.

00:07:27.180 And that doesn't mean everybody feels happy all the time. It could be those, Hey, you're getting

00:07:30.660 jumped in today. And also we need to do that for the people in our circle and, and the young men in

00:07:37.440 our community in a positive, encouraging, uplifting way. Hell week is another great example. My two

00:07:42.500 oldest sons are about to get ready for football in a couple of weeks. And I know they're going to be

00:07:46.760 doing two a days. You did two a days. I did two a days. Like everybody listening to this did two days

00:07:51.400 and hell week. That's the same concept. It's the same exact concept, but it's done in a healthy

00:07:58.720 environment that fosters cohesion, uh, cohesion, uh, unity amongst the team, brotherhood, camaraderie,

00:08:05.900 pain, and suffering together. But, but because it has the positive meaning, the constructive meaning

00:08:11.360 behind it, it serves rather than hinders. Totally. And, and some guys that might be listening

00:08:16.240 saying, well, you guys are cut from a different cloth and I just don't see it that way. No,

00:08:20.700 those guys are assuming. Yeah. And those guys are assuming that we don't like, it doesn't bother,

00:08:26.320 like that we're unfazed by it and it doesn't bother us. These things are hard. Like some of the examples

00:08:32.420 that you gave, you know, when I got my blue from Vitor Shaolin, they did that, right? They,

00:08:37.240 my class lined up and beat the shit out of me. I didn't want to do it. It's not like I'm cut from a 0.98

00:08:42.860 different cloth and I'm like, Oh, that was okay. And you know, that stuff doesn't affect me. No,

00:08:47.040 it does affect me. It was hard to do. I didn't want to do it. Sometimes I show up at class and

00:08:51.960 I don't want to go, go head to head with someone else. You know, it, the difference is, is I see

00:08:57.360 the value in it and I'm willing to put myself in an uncomfortable circumstance to grow. That's the

00:09:01.840 difference. But some guys think like, Oh, it bothers me. So, you know, I'm different. No, actually

00:09:07.760 you're not that you are different. You're choosing not to do something difficult is what you're,

00:09:12.400 that's the difference. You're making that choice. You're making that choice. Yeah. There's one guy

00:09:17.280 that we train with that is a handful. Um, in fact, we just had four black belt promotions,

00:09:23.560 uh, three or four weeks ago, four guys, maybe even five, four or five guys got their black belt.

00:09:29.820 And these guys are all just solid, just solid guys. And there's one guy in particular, his name is

00:09:35.600 Curtis and he's a big solid, like, just, just like a bear, just like a handful.

00:09:42.400 And I always avoided him. Like, I don't want to roll with that guy. And, and I still say that,

00:09:48.860 but when I go to class, I always find him always because I don't want to. And so I'm like,

00:09:57.560 that's the guy you roll with. If I find myself wanting to roll with somebody,

00:10:02.340 I need to not roll with that guy deliberately and find the guy where I'm kind of like, don't make,

00:10:08.460 guy, you know, it's kind of like in, in school where you kind of like half raise your hand,

00:10:12.780 but you're like looking away. And so it looks like you may be participated, but you like,

00:10:17.900 but you really didn't want anybody to call on you. And now I'm like full, full contact,

00:10:24.200 full eye contact. I want you because I don't want you. So let's do this.

00:10:28.920 Yeah. I've totally done that. Like, it's like, all right, bell rings. I go find him. I'm like,

00:10:35.100 let's get on with. Let's go. Also, I don't know if this is a cop out. Also when I roll with guys

00:10:41.620 like Curtis and other people, Pete or whoever, I'm like, I want to roll with them first where I'm not 0.82

00:10:46.040 like as tired so I can roll with them first and just get that shit out of the way. So maybe it's 0.91

00:10:52.780 a way I'm like kind of a little bit of strategy, but also maybe kind of trying to like hedge my

00:10:58.760 bet a little, I don't know, but I think we'd all do better to run into the fray as opposed to avoid

00:11:04.120 it or hide from it or, or deal with it last. Yeah. Oh, totally. Good times. Let's get to some

00:11:11.040 questions today. Yeah. So our questions we're building today from the Facebook group to join us

00:11:16.560 there, go to facebook.com slash group slash order of man. All right. Our first question really from three

00:11:22.460 different brothers, Winston Locker, McDonald, Jason Schmidt, and Joseph DeRoma. We're kind of

00:11:27.720 bringing these questions together because these, these gentlemen all had a kind of a similar question.

00:11:32.680 I'm in school for mental health counseling, and I understand that you've been through counseling

00:11:36.440 and therapy, and I'm interested to know what do you think is the source of comprehension in men

00:11:41.600 surrounding counseling? And what do you think the mental health field could do better in terms of

00:11:47.420 helping men? Now, Jason and Joseph, Joseph's questions really around, what can we do around

00:11:52.640 veteran suicide prevention? And then Joseph's question was kind of, what can we do to address

00:11:57.960 sadness in men, which I kind of think are all kind of related to Winston's kind of original question is,

00:12:03.880 you know, what can we do? Yeah. Yeah. So what, what was the phrase source of learning or source of

00:12:10.120 openness? What was the phrase you use? Yeah. What do you think the source of comprehension,

00:12:14.080 comprehension, comprehension, okay. Surrounding counseling, right? Why, why aren't men seeking

00:12:18.480 help? So the source of comprehension is humility. Apprehension. I'm sorry. Apprehension. Oh,

00:12:26.700 okay. Cause comprehension is humility. Like guys who won't take it to heart, they'll hear something

00:12:32.740 and, and they won't apply it or they won't lend it as much credit as it deserves is humility. It's just

00:12:40.880 your ego is getting in the way. So the more humble you can be an open, receptive to the fact that

00:12:45.560 maybe somebody else not only sees it different than you, but can help you see it different for

00:12:51.220 yourself, I think would do a great service for men. So that's what I would say. Comprehension.

00:12:58.280 You said apprehension, the mental health cert. And by the way, this is not just the mental health

00:13:05.780 professionals and community. It's also church has done a huge, huge disservice because you guys,

00:13:14.780 and I'm saying this very deliberately, I'm coming right at you on this one. You guys think that the

00:13:21.220 key to men's health is for them to act more like women and you could not be more wrong. 1.00

00:13:27.840 Now I'm not trained in mental health. I know there are genuine mental health issues,

00:13:33.140 but to say that men, all men deal with depression and anxiety and potential suicidal thoughts and go

00:13:40.840 through challenges. We all know that to be true, but you guys, and I'm talking with pastors,

00:13:46.900 I'm talking with mental health professionals. You think, cause you bought into the belief

00:13:52.620 that men are best served mentally by acting like women and you are wrong. I'm a hundred percent

00:14:01.980 adamant on that. I didn't go to school. I'm not a pastor for this stuff, but you're wrong.

00:14:08.340 But I'll tell you what's right. I'm right. I'm right. Emphatically right. And what I'm right about

00:14:16.680 is that men don't relate well face to face. Men don't want to sit down and hash out their feelings

00:14:25.560 like ladies do. There's nothing wrong with it, but men don't respond that way. I'll tell you who does 1.00

00:14:30.680 respond that way. Women and feminine men, but you take a masculine man. He doesn't want to sit down 1.00

00:14:38.960 and talk about his feelings, but you know what he will do. He'll go to jujitsu. He'll go to the gym.

00:14:46.240 He'll go to a Spartan race. He'll go to a marathon. He'll go to even a barbecue. He'll go to do something

00:14:54.820 other than talk about his feelings. And in the midst of it, you talk about your feelings, but you

00:15:01.640 don't talk about feelings. You talk about stories of failure and growth and triumph and setbacks and

00:15:09.140 victories and overcoming obstacles and being set by them through being on the baseball diamond or being

00:15:15.900 on the football field or being on the mats or being in the gym or being at the shooting range.

00:15:20.420 That's where you guys are failing. And I'm going hard right now against you because you're failing

00:15:25.640 your men. You say you want to serve men and yet you're treating them like women. Stop doing that. 0.73

00:15:32.040 Hey, pastors, leaders in your church communities, like stop going, stop setting your chairs up in a

00:15:38.760 circle, like freaking alcohol anonymous or whatever. And like, go to the shooting range,

00:15:46.660 go to the races, go to the football game, go to the fights, have men over for UFC.

00:15:56.580 And then in that environment, you can talk about, Hey man, like what scares you? What motivates you?

00:16:04.140 What drives you? Why aren't you succeeding? Why are you winning? Why are you failing? You can talk

00:16:07.840 about that as it's in the midst of something else, because we know that men best interact

00:16:13.660 shoulder to shoulder inward facing or outward facing, right? Inward facing to the people who

00:16:20.800 are important to us, outward facing to the enemy that we deal with. If you're a pastor or you're

00:16:27.600 a leader in your church or you're a therapist, therapy is a little different because you're

00:16:32.800 confined by the rules of your profession. I understand that, but you better figure out a way

00:16:38.140 to get guys involved physically because the more you can get them involved physically, the more you'll

00:16:43.160 be able to get involved mentally and emotionally and spiritually. A hundred percent. Like I I'm

00:16:50.940 right. Like that you can't, there, there's nothing. And I don't need a degree. I don't need to be a

00:16:57.340 professional. Like, I know this is true because we've helped thousands of men. Like this is, this is

00:17:02.700 the answer. That's why, because I don't want to go sit and talk with you for two hours about my

00:17:07.680 feelings. I have no desire to do that, but I will go to the gym and I can work out my feelings to the

00:17:14.960 gym. Oh yeah. You feel inadequate. Well, yeah, you are. So what can you do? Good. Make yourself 0.99

00:17:19.000 stronger. Oh, now I feel better. I guess not any surprise to me. This stuff is crazy, but it's just

00:17:25.020 because you bought into the bullshit. You've been indoctrinated since you were a kid. You've got, 1.00

00:17:29.060 you went through public schooling. You probably went through some college and some post-secondary

00:17:33.060 education. You bought into all the social media myths. You had a bunch of women tell you, Hey, 0.71

00:17:37.320 here's how you should behave. And if you're not, then you're being toxic. And you, you bought it

00:17:41.980 hook, line and sinker and you're failing. Yeah. This is why I love like the cognitive behavioral

00:17:49.400 therapy. Cause it seems very action oriented, right? It's like, well, what are you doing? What

00:17:55.220 are the tactics that you're taking on a regular basis? What are your goals? How does that relate?

00:17:59.680 Cause so much of therapy is like, well, how do you feel? And where did this show up? Awesome. But

00:18:04.720 how does this look like on the road of life? What does this look like tomorrow? And it's very,

00:18:11.880 I think men are more practical in regards to addressing the scenario and what actions I need 0.98

00:18:18.000 to take versus just being mindful. You know, I don't know about cognitive therapy or whatever.

00:18:24.660 All I know is that you should just go to the gym and you should just be around other men. I don't know

00:18:28.820 cognitive therapy, behavioral therapy or whatever. Yeah. Just go, just go put 300 pounds on your bar

00:18:36.300 and lift it and then challenge another man to beat you. Like you're going to feel better. Even if he

00:18:41.640 beats you, you're going to feel better. You know, go to the gym, go to jujitsu and put your gi on for

00:18:46.840 the first time and let another person strangle, strangle you. Like your mind's going to feel better.

00:18:53.420 Like you're just going to feel better. That's it. I'm a pretty simple guy though. So maybe that's

00:19:00.820 why it's, you know, like sometimes we outthink ourselves though, too. Like

00:19:05.920 stop thinking, like, just go be around other men. You know, that like intuitively, you know, that

00:19:12.180 right. Like you got to know that intuitively, you got to know you feel better when you're spending

00:19:17.460 time with other men. Like you got to know that. How could you not know that? Well, you may not

00:19:23.180 because that's been conditioned out of you. Yeah. Yeah. I was watching, I watched a new movie

00:19:28.800 the other, the other night. I don't think it's new, but my kids wanted to watch Mowgli, the legend of

00:19:32.960 the jungle book or something. I can't remember exactly what it was called, but it's not really

00:19:38.160 the jungle book. It's something else. It's the jungle book, but it's like a little bit different

00:19:42.080 interpretation of it. Oh, okay. It was really good. It wasn't a great movie necessarily. Like,

00:19:49.800 yeah. But, but the conversations and like the, the thought process, like it was really good. You

00:19:55.920 had Mowgli who's this wild kid who's being raised by wolves and he's trying to find the balance

00:20:01.260 between him being a human and him being a wolf. And at the end, you know, the narrator basically

00:20:05.920 says, you know, here we have Mowgli who is both a wolf and a human, but actually neither, you know,

00:20:13.260 like, it's just really interesting. And we've become so civilized to our detriment. You've got

00:20:21.260 to find a place where you be, you can become uncivilized to a degree in the appropriate

00:20:27.100 environment. And that just brings everything in, into balance the way that it should be.

00:20:33.140 Hmm. All right. Rob Cummings, how to develop more influence over my daughter in college

00:20:40.020 in her early twenties, who is entitled, has poor work ethic and doesn't demonstrate ownership

00:20:46.240 and accountability for her life. She doesn't want to listen to my advice. 1.00

00:20:52.020 Well, she's 20 and she just left the house. Like, I think that's actually pretty natural

00:20:58.180 that she doesn't want to listen that she, but look, you've had 18 or 20 years or whatever it is.

00:21:05.180 Like the question is what did I, or didn't I do? Cause now like she's out of your hands, man.

00:21:11.960 And that's a hard reality to face, but she's with friends and she's with professors and she's with

00:21:17.400 other people in, you know, the popular culture that, that may or may not align with the way you,

00:21:24.820 the way you see things. But look, this is a hard situation, but what I would say is just continue to

00:21:30.080 do what I think you probably are doing because you're asking these questions and hope that she

00:21:34.840 returns to some of this. And that through her growing in her maturity, that she'll begin to

00:21:40.340 see that maybe dad had some good things to say and share. As far as interjecting, there's a fine line

00:21:46.520 because she wants freedom and she wants independence. And the more that you try to cling onto her and try

00:21:51.280 to force your, your, your views and your thoughts and your restrictions down her throat, 0.97

00:21:56.220 she's probably going to rebel against that. So what I would say is keep leading yourself.

00:22:03.840 That's number one, keep leading yourself well. And if you're not leading yourself well, and you know,

00:22:08.480 then you need to get that stuff in check. If you're not leading yourself well, you need to get that stuff

00:22:13.640 in check, lead your wife, lead your other children. If you have other children, invite her, encourage her

00:22:18.760 to be part of this. Uh, and then here's what I would say. Just listen to her. Just listen to her. 0.94

00:22:25.260 You know, I don't know if she's at the home or she's in a dorm or she's out in an apartment with 0.55

00:22:28.760 other friends. I don't know what the situation is, but you know, maybe you guys do a Sunday call

00:22:33.040 every, every Sunday and you don't need to tell her stuff. You've already told her, you told her

00:22:39.140 how to behave. You told her how to be act. You told her what she should be doing and what she

00:22:42.600 shouldn't be doing. So like that time is coming on. Just listen to her, man. Hey dad, here's what

00:22:48.800 I'm dealing with. Here's what I'm without any preconceived ideas. Cause she's going to start 0.94

00:22:52.600 talking about young men that she's seeing. She's going to talk about maybe drugs that she might

00:22:58.500 be experimenting with. And like, you just got to listen, man. Cause I don't want her to talk to

00:23:07.520 this. No, I'm not either, but I would want my daughter to talk to me. And if I come across as

00:23:13.060 an asshole or try to lecture her all the time, she's not going to tell me about the date she went on. 1.00

00:23:18.620 She's not going to tell me about the fact that she's, you know, smoking pot. Cause all her friends 1.00

00:23:23.000 said that would help her with her anxiety or whatever. Like she's not going to talk to me

00:23:27.300 about that stuff. If I come across as condescending, uh, and, and, and, and lecture her all the time.

00:23:34.060 Cause what kid wants, what adult wants to deal with that? So just listen and be open and receptive,

00:23:39.300 ask good questions and then just shut up and listen. My wife talked to me about some issues she was 0.97

00:23:45.740 dealing with last night. And it was very, very difficult. I tell you guys this all the time.

00:23:49.360 It's very difficult not to say, well, you should do X, Y, and Z, but I didn't. I was like, yeah,

00:23:54.020 that sucks. Yeah. I could see how you would feel that way. Oh yeah. I'd feel that way too. If I was 0.99

00:23:59.680 in that situation, man, that's really hard. That is not natural for men, but it's good and it works.

00:24:09.280 So I think you can do the same thing with your daughter.

00:24:13.680 All right. Mitchell Burton, what have you two learned from doing this order of man movement?

00:24:20.260 Maybe a few top items.

00:24:25.100 Again, you know, like I would say ask specific questions.

00:24:30.980 Yeah. What, like, why, why do you want to know? Like, what are you, what are you trying to learn?

00:24:35.720 Are you trying to grow a business? Are you trying to connect with other people? Are you trying to

00:24:38.620 make more money? Are you trying to learn new, new things? Like what, why are you asking this

00:24:42.340 question? I mean, I'll answer the question, but, but I really want you to ponder on that. Like,

00:24:46.600 why is that important to you? Yeah. And if you, if you say, well, I want to know what you're

00:24:51.640 learning so I can improve in my life. Cool. Then like with what? With communication,

00:24:55.840 with reaching and connecting with other people, with starting my own movement, like be more specific

00:25:00.680 guys. What's the conclusion to the question? Other than, why are you asking? Yeah. Right. Why are you

00:25:06.600 asking that question? Um, do you have some thoughts? I I've got maybe a couple, but I want to collect my

00:25:13.720 thoughts a little bit. So maybe you have some things and then I'll, yeah, I can follow up.

00:25:16.460 I can go first. I think if there's, if, when I think about this question, the first thing that

00:25:23.120 comes to mind is how much, uh, what is discussed on the podcast and the work that we're doing in Iron

00:25:32.840 Council, how much it's really needed. I have a tendency to be in a bubble, right? Like the men

00:25:38.580 I'm around are amazing men. And you know what I mean? I look, turn on the news and I'm like, Oh,

00:25:44.420 the world's crazy. But in my circle, it doesn't really feel like the need is as strong as it really

00:25:51.300 is. Um, and then I'm reminded when guys reach out via like social media messages or whatever,

00:25:58.280 like how much this is really needed. And so that's one thing that I've gotten more present to the

00:26:05.200 importance of what, what you've created, Ryan, how, how critical it really is. I would say the other

00:26:12.340 thing that has been really present to me too, is that there's this evolution of men. And, and I tell

00:26:19.820 this to guys that we interviewed to become battle team leaders in the Iron Council. And, and there's

00:26:26.140 this evolution of, of guys listening to podcasts because their focus is I need to become a better

00:26:31.520 man, right? A better husband, a better father. Then they joined the Iron Council and their focus

00:26:37.240 is still like, how do I better me? But guys stick around the Iron Council because they've now made

00:26:45.560 the transition that their focus is now to serve. And now they're in the Iron Council to serve the

00:26:53.240 men on their team. They are now on the path of becoming men or better men so they can serve their

00:26:59.620 families better. It's about how they show up for the people around them in their lives. And that ends

00:27:06.620 up becoming the motivation for them. And, and I think that is, and it should be that way because if it's

00:27:11.980 not, then it's going to be fleeting. And that's the tall tale sign. I think of a guy on the correct

00:27:17.220 path is that the path that we're on is a path of service. And the by-product of us focusing on

00:27:24.540 sharpening our saw is really so we can serve those around us. Yeah. Well said. I mean, I would agree with

00:27:33.260 both of those things. So you hit on two things that, that I kind of felt. So you talked about service

00:27:39.700 and then you talked, I'm going to hit on that first. And then there's one other thing, but I

00:27:43.080 made a post on Twitter earlier today. And I said, a man's most crucial function is to produce more than

00:27:49.600 he consumes a net positive versus net negative, an asset versus liability. But first he has to learn

00:27:56.680 to take care of and provide for himself. Only then will he have the capacity to do the same for others.

00:28:03.640 So I think you're hitting on something here is that our job is to produce more than we consume.

00:28:11.080 So I've been thinking about this and pondering on this idea a lot lately. Like when does a man become

00:28:15.920 man? Like when does he transition from boy to man? And I've answered this question before. And

00:28:20.360 I think I've got that narrowed down in my mind to, to what I think it is, but I still ponder on it.

00:28:25.580 And I, I really believe that the point where a young boy becomes a man is when he can produce an

00:28:31.840 excess of his own needs and desires. Right? So if you take children and you take my boys,

00:28:39.260 for example, they don't produce to meet their needs and desires. They aren't there yet. Right?

00:28:45.520 And we don't expect them to be because they're young men. Like it's, there's no expectation for

00:28:49.500 them to be that way, but there does come a point in time where it's like, okay, by now you should

00:28:53.740 have figured out how to take care of yourself. And, and I remember when I went to college, I could do

00:28:58.720 that. Right. I could pay my rent. I could pay my groceries. I had a little bit of discretionary

00:29:02.700 money to go on trips or activities with my buddies. I was making my bills. Like I was providing for

00:29:08.160 myself and that's what you would expect of a young man. But I certainly wasn't ready for kids. I

00:29:12.560 certainly wasn't ready to run my own business. I definitely wasn't ready to be married.

00:29:17.820 And, and, and so you have to develop above and beyond your capacity to serve yourself in order to

00:29:23.580 meet those desires. Right? Like I can't, I can't marry somebody if I can't even take care of myself

00:29:30.040 and yet people do. And what do they do? They get into problems. Right. And if you, if you don't mind

00:29:34.820 me jumping in here, we're talking about like monetary gain, thinking even about that mentally.

00:29:41.880 Right. Like if you can't, if I'm not in a position to deal with addictions or doing what is right

00:29:48.780 versus what I, what my human, what my human nature might be, I'm in no position to provide that

00:29:54.780 guidance and assistance to a child or, or to a, to a wife, right? If I'm not mentally healthy

00:30:01.180 and I have self-confidence, I can't provide guidance and direction to someone else to how to find

00:30:07.260 self-confidence and how to, how to find happiness in life. Like, yeah, sorry. I know that's a given,

00:30:13.020 but I just wanted to call that out. Just make sure. I don't think it's a given. I think it's,

00:30:17.840 it's a very important discussion. Like you need to be financially, mentally, emotionally,

00:30:24.100 spiritually in the position, not ready. I use the word ready earlier, but please use some discernment.

00:30:30.120 You're never fully ready to have children. You're never fully ready to be married. It's not what I'm

00:30:34.820 saying, but at least adequate. Yeah. You should be at least capable of dealing with what you're about to

00:30:42.120 embark upon. Okay. So I really liked that you were touching on serve and that's what, so we've got,

00:30:48.580 we've got our motto. It's not on this hat, but protect, provide, preside, right? So our motto is

00:30:53.980 protect, provide. And I used to think, well, that's clever. You got alliteration in there. They all start

00:30:59.900 with P like, it's like, makes sense. Like it's clever. It is clever, but it's also crucial.

00:31:07.820 It's not just a motto. It's a lifestyle. And at the foundation of every single one of those things

00:31:13.860 is the ability to serve, protect, provide, preside, protect yourself and others, provide for yourself

00:31:21.540 and others and preside synonymous with leadership, which is about service to other people. So serving

00:31:28.160 is a big component of that. And then I also wrote something else down here. As you were talking,

00:31:31.580 I wrote, you know, I used to believe that I wanted to, you know, lead this army of men who were going

00:31:37.740 out into the world and doing their thing. And, and I've changed that. Like the, I don't think of it

00:31:46.220 as leading this army of men. I think about more enlisting this army of men and it might be semantics,

00:31:52.000 but please hear me when I say this, when I was starting out and you'll see a lot of men's movements

00:31:57.540 like this actually. And I, it drives me nuts. It's very ego driven. It's like, I'm going to put my,

00:32:04.360 myself at the head of this thing and everybody needs to do it like me in order to be a man.

00:32:10.140 And like, you'll see that a lot in this men's space. Yeah. Yeah. It's not helpful. It's really 1.00

00:32:16.140 not. Cause I don't want to be the head of the space. I want to be marching side by side, Kip,

00:32:21.260 with you as you lead your family and you lead, I can't lead your community. I can't lead your family.

00:32:25.240 I can't even lead you. You have to do that. So I want to raise men up to enlist men who are

00:32:32.040 willing to lead on their own, because here's the thing. I used to believe, okay, it was going to be

00:32:38.240 all about me. It was very ego driven. It was very, very self-centric. And now it's like, no, I,

00:32:43.880 I need to bring the right people in. I need to have millions of men across the country and across

00:32:49.660 the planet who are all leading themselves and their families and their businesses and their

00:32:53.240 communities and their environments. Well, I can't do it all. And I don't even want to do it all.

00:32:57.660 I don't want to lead your community, Kip. I don't want to lead your family. I don't want to lead in

00:33:01.860 your business. I want you to do that. So it's not self-centric anymore. It's more like, what can I do?

00:33:08.820 And this goes back to service. What can I do? What do I have to give you? Who do I have to become

00:33:15.720 so that I have the capacity to give you something? Tools, resources, a conversation,

00:33:22.360 a thought, an idea, permission, maybe even a way, not that you need it, but some people interpret it

00:33:28.140 that way, where you can actually go out and you as men can go do your own thing free and independent

00:33:34.980 of myself or order of man, but just sovereign you leading because you have a desire to do so.

00:33:42.500 And you have the ability to do so. So for me, it's all about service. And so what I've,

00:33:48.080 to answer the question specifically, what I've learned is that this movement is much bigger than

00:33:53.640 me. Ryan Michler sitting at the head of this thing. Cause you said something, you said,

00:33:58.080 when you started your, your, your thoughts there on this idea, you said, and Ryan, what you've created,

00:34:04.860 that's what you said, what you've created. And while I understand what you're saying,

00:34:09.560 and I appreciate that it's not at all what it is, it's what we've created, what you Kip and me and

00:34:18.580 the battle team leaders and the men who are in our iron council, uh, and, and casual listeners who

00:34:25.300 are going forward and doing the work. It's what we have created. And this is significantly more

00:34:31.480 powerful than anything I could have created on my own. Yeah. What I love about that is when it's,

00:34:39.240 when it's greater than you, it's, it adds more, it, it adds more meaning to it, right? Like the stakes

00:34:48.220 are higher, right? When, when, when order of man or restoring masculinity transcends Ryan Michler

00:34:55.460 and is far greater than that, I think it creates a conversation and a distinction that allows men

00:35:04.620 to see how large that impact really is. That it's not about progressing something that a guy created.

00:35:11.440 It's about coming into our own, that it's worldwide. It's global. It's the, the impact is

00:35:17.940 massive. And, and when we come into that realization of how important and how large this really is,

00:35:26.060 I think it allows us, or at least maybe motivates us to step up in those difficult times and do what

00:35:34.180 is necessary, where sometimes we might shrink out of hopelessness or fear, you know, when we're not

00:35:42.500 truly bought into something that, that transcends, you know, us and, and transcends even you for that

00:35:48.660 matter. Yeah. I mean, I thought about this, even over the weekend, I was thinking about this. I was

00:35:53.640 thinking about death and, you know, dying. Like, what if I died today? What if I was gone today? And I

00:35:59.620 used to say, you know, I'd have six people at my funeral. I might have a few more. I might have 50

00:36:04.180 people at my funeral, 45 of them would be family members. And I'd have, you know, I was going to say

00:36:08.660 you, but I don't want to like be presumptive. Might show up. I, I don't know. Depends. It

00:36:14.280 depends on the weekend. Depends on the weekend. If I have something going on. What else I have going

00:36:18.200 on? I might have to help somebody move. So like, I may not be able to make it. Of course I'd be

00:36:23.160 there not to be cheesy, but hell yeah, I'd be there. Anyhow, go ahead. But the, the point that I'm

00:36:28.040 making here is that, you know, I used to like downplay that a little bit and still, I might not have

00:36:33.760 very many people at my funeral, but you know what? There's going to be thousands and thousands of

00:36:37.500 people, if not more, who are going to be impacted by the work that we're doing here

00:36:40.600 in one way or the other, maybe indirectly, you know, maybe their dad listened to a podcast one

00:36:46.020 time and they, they, they listened to a podcast about humility and fatherhood. And so they started

00:36:52.760 raising their children differently. And then their sons and daughters decided that this guy's, you

00:36:59.620 know, he's worth my adoration, admiration. He's following. Maybe I should have a relationship

00:37:04.520 led by. And, and, and so now I'm going to leave my family like that, or a daughter who says, I'm

00:37:09.680 going to leave my family like that. And I'm going to find a man like that. Like the, the, the work we

00:37:15.480 do is just cannot be calculated. And that is just a very rewarding, fulfilling thing. If it was

00:37:23.660 something that I did for myself, it would still be rewarding and fulfilling. But the fact that it serves

00:37:29.980 so many people, man, there's nothing like it in the world. There really isn't. There's no amount

00:37:36.640 of selfish desire that can make up for what we've been able to do here.

00:37:42.740 Agreed. It's funny that you're thinking about death over the weekend. I, I, I was actually in the

00:37:49.500 same boat all weekend. I don't know why I was kind of in my kind of wrong. Well, and it's, yeah,

00:37:56.820 yeah. That's part of it. Um, wait, how old are you Kip? Hold on. How old are you?

00:38:01.520 42. Oh yeah. You are old. I'm 40. I am definitely old. Yeah. Well, and I was, and I, this sounds

00:38:08.440 maybe morbid. Maybe I shouldn't even say this where this gets recorded and put on the interwebs

00:38:13.120 forever. But, um, like as I get older, I I'm, I'm more in the camp of welcoming death. I know that

00:38:24.020 sounds odd, but my, my awareness of my mortality and there's a sense of honor for when it comes

00:38:33.260 and I'm actually like more and more getting okay with the idea. I know that sounds just kind of odd,

00:38:39.680 but I'm like, yeah, I can't relate with that one yet. I'm not quite there. I'll trust you two more

00:38:44.060 years. So for that way, two more years. Yeah. I don't know, but it's interesting. Yeah. It's

00:38:48.580 interesting. I I'm, I'm more and more like, you know, when, when the time comes, like, I think I'll

00:38:52.980 be okay. Like, I'll be like, it's a good time to die, you know? So, um, but anyhow, so much that my,

00:39:00.280 my daughter's like, dad, uh, are you okay? You know what I mean? Cause she's hearing us talking,

00:39:06.220 you know, around the, around the house over the weekend about, you know, death or whatever.

00:39:12.140 And, uh, she's like, ask me if I was okay on the way home. I was like, Oh babe, I'm totally okay.

00:39:16.300 Just, you want to make sure we all die. And so we always want to make sure that we're living a life

00:39:21.400 that, that we can be proud of. Right. And we don't have regret. So. I was thinking about it. We

00:39:27.740 dropped our oldest off at a week long, uh, summer camp with put on by the main warden service.

00:39:32.520 Uh, so he's always been fascinated in animals and nature and wildlife since the time he was

00:39:37.840 two or three years old. Like this is the direction I knew he was going. So we had the opportunity to

00:39:42.100 drop him off for this week long summer camp. And we were sitting there by the picnic tables as we

00:39:46.140 were dropping him off at camp. And we were talking about it and we got talking about the age difference.

00:39:50.380 You know, there's a 27 year age difference between my oldest son and I. And, and I was like, man,

00:39:55.860 when I'm 70, you know, we were, we were calculating, like, you're going to be, you know,

00:40:00.060 what is that for 47 or whatever it is. Right. So, and we were thinking about this. I'm like, man,

00:40:08.160 70, that sounds so old, but like, it's coming. I'm closer to 70 than I am to the early stages of

00:40:16.720 my life. It's so weird, but it gives us a perspective on how important and crucial our

00:40:22.680 role as fathers and husbands and leaders within our community actually is. It's very, very important.

00:40:28.380 And I don't take it lightly. Yeah. All right. Eric Kovach, you often talk about holding our

00:40:36.340 elected officials accountable for their actions. What are some ways we can accomplish this? What

00:40:42.020 does that look like holding them? Vote them out of office. 0.98

00:40:46.720 Like both these assholes who don't represent you accurately out of office. That's what it is. 1.00

00:40:53.000 And also run, run for office. If you feel so inclined, I don't think every man needs to enter the

00:40:57.940 political arena or spectrum, but, uh, that that's part of it. And then call these elected officials

00:41:03.840 out. You need to call them out. You need to draw light to what they're doing. You need to draw light

00:41:08.500 to when they're being, uh, they're exhibiting hypocrisy that they're not representing you

00:41:14.800 effectively. They're not doing what you say you're going to be doing. You need, you also need to

00:41:18.940 support them by the way, if there's elected representatives or those you would like to see

00:41:23.060 represented. You need to support them with your money and your time and your attention, your energy

00:41:28.180 and your voice. And that's important too. Like if you're not going to, if you're not going to support

00:41:33.700 them, then you might as well just vote for the other guy. So vote them out of office, call their

00:41:40.940 offices when they're doing something they shouldn't be doing, or they should vote for with your time,

00:41:45.580 attention, energy dollars, and actual vote for the people that you believe in. Run for office,

00:41:50.440 challenge these individuals and get vocal enough with the silent majority stuff. I hear that all

00:41:56.720 the time. Well, we know when the silent majority wakes up, when the fuck are you going to wake up? 1.00

00:42:01.840 Yeah. Like I don't swear a whole lot, but really, when are you going to wake up? 0.99

00:42:05.740 When, when are you going to realize that like things are happening around you and you're busy

00:42:11.120 yapping your gums about the silent majority? You should be actually talking about the real issues.

00:42:16.080 You should be holding rallies. You should be enlisting men in your area. You should be running

00:42:21.000 for office. You should be going to school board meetings. Like these are the things you should be

00:42:25.140 doing. Stop talking about the silent majority and how everybody's screwed when the silent majority

00:42:29.220 wakes up, wake up, get involved, get active. And look, there's a risk to it. I spent some time in DC

00:42:36.400 last week and I made some posts about, you know, I was visiting representative Cawthorne and Dan

00:42:42.540 Crenshaw and I were going to get together. Unfortunately, we couldn't make that work. So we're going to make that

00:42:45.680 work later. And, you know, I have people who are like, well, you know, you shouldn't support him

00:42:48.900 because of this and that and this. I care about it. So I'm going to talk about it. And you don't

00:42:54.540 have to agree with me. I'm not saying that you're obliged to agree with me, but you can be damn sure

00:42:59.300 I'm going to start talking about it because the days of not talking about it are not serving us.

00:43:05.740 So yes, I know it's uncomfortable to talk about politics. I know you're going to create some enemies.

00:43:11.700 There's going to be people that don't believe in you. You're also going to be risking your

00:43:15.460 livelihood, which is unfortunate, but it is the reality. So go back to listen to my Friday show

00:43:20.120 about not being beholden. If the fact that you can't share your political opinion for fear of

00:43:26.740 retribution at work is what's keeping you silent. You're in the wrong space. You're not even acting

00:43:34.240 as an American. You're being a little bitch and we can't deal with that anymore. We need people who 1.00

00:43:40.160 are going to go out and talk and be vocal and rally and raise money and support and call people

00:43:45.200 out despite what all these other people are saying. They want you to shut up. They want you to keep

00:43:50.740 yapping about the silent majority. Stop it. Go do something. Wake up. Be active. Be involved. Assert

00:43:58.300 yourself. Run for office. These are all things you can and should be doing.

00:44:09.040 Josh Hatcher. I want to keep ranting, but I don't know if there's anything else to say. All right.

00:44:14.960 Josh Hatcher. I've had several men close to me who have had kids who have decided that they are trans

00:44:21.460 or non-binary. They love their kids and do not understand how to get through to them. 1.00

00:44:30.820 Yeah. Well, look, there's a phenomenon happening right now. And I pulled this up because I saw this

00:44:37.000 question. There's a book called Irreversible Damage by Abigail Schreier. And in the book,

00:44:44.120 she talks about this. And I'm not using the right word, I don't think, but this sudden onset of gender 0.80

00:44:53.660 dysphoria that I believe there is a real mental issue for those who genuinely believe themselves

00:45:00.700 to be a member of the opposite gender or sex. And that's a mental issue that I think should be worked.

00:45:08.160 I think we should have empathy for these people. I think we should strive to understand to the best

00:45:13.400 of our ability, what they're going through. That doesn't mean we need to support it or foster it

00:45:18.000 or encourage it. You would never do that with any other mental disorder like schizophrenia.

00:45:24.800 Yeah. Like you would work through the treatment. Like you would work through the issue.

00:45:29.180 That's what you would do if you cared about those people. You would actually work through it. And it's

00:45:33.700 hard and it's uncomfortable and there's feelings involved. And there's the ideology that is

00:45:39.840 presented, the narrative that we see around us. But then there's also another phenomenon about this

00:45:46.800 rapid onset, I believe is the term, gender dysphoria. And it has less to do with any sort of

00:45:54.640 mental thought process and more to do with the peer pressure of modern culture and society.

00:46:02.180 It's cool. Yeah. Right. It's cool. Young women. And this is happening a lot more. It's outpacing men. 1.00

00:46:09.960 This is happening a lot more with women. It's cool. They're going to get attention from it. 1.00

00:46:16.740 And we don't know what it is, right? We don't know. Like if my daughter, because some people say this,

00:46:22.120 well, what if your son, what if your own daughter, would you still feel that way? You're damn right.

00:46:26.480 I would feel that way. And I would get them all the help that they needed in order to live a healthy,

00:46:31.680 fulfilling, enjoyable life in spite of what it is they're experiencing. So yes, if it was my son

00:46:38.880 or daughter, yes, a hundred percent, I would feel the exact same way of what I'm saying right now.

00:46:44.080 And so if I'm going to put myself in your shoes or your friend's shoes, where they have daughters

00:46:47.960 and sons who are experiencing this, I'm not going to go along with it.

00:46:54.040 I'm not going to make them feel like that's special or that's what they should be doing or

00:47:01.260 or that is what defines them, right? What I'm going to do is explain. And I have been since

00:47:07.640 the time they were little, the value of men being men and embracing masculinity and the value of when

00:47:14.560 my daughter knows because she sees me interact with her and she sees me interact with her wife 0.85

00:47:19.420 that I honor women. I respect women. I believe that they offer something to the world that men

00:47:25.700 just can't offer on our own and vice versa. And I acknowledge that I honor it. I respect it.

00:47:31.480 And there isn't anything wrong about being a woman. And the fact is that the more that a man can step

00:47:37.340 into his role as a man and heaven forbid, I said, role, because that's a bad thing apparently these

00:47:41.840 days to say, but the more that a man can step into those roles of masculinity, protect, provide,

00:47:47.180 preside. We said it earlier. And the more that a woman can step into her role as a woman and embrace 1.00

00:47:52.820 that femininity, the better off they're all going to be. I don't know if it's a mental thing. If it is, 0.98

00:47:57.360 I'm going to get my children the help they need, not by just reaffirming what they say they are,

00:48:02.440 but by explaining that, no, you're a girl, you are a girl, you are a boy. You can think you're a boy,

00:48:11.380 you're not, you're a girl and getting them the help they need. If it's the peer pressure thing

00:48:16.460 that's getting to them, which we know is a real thing, then I need to be a bigger presence in their

00:48:22.280 life. This is part of the reason why I don't think the public school system is the best place for our

00:48:26.320 children because they're being introduced to these concepts and these ideas that are not healthy.

00:48:31.420 And then not only are they being introduced to them, they're being reaffirmed. They're being

00:48:35.900 conditioned. They're being programmed. Exactly. So any girl that says, well, I'm a boy or teachers 1.00

00:48:42.160 and her principal and her staff and her school board and her friends. And I was going to say,

00:48:45.460 yes, yes. Celebrate praise, praise the heavens. You're, you are who you really are. No, actually,

00:48:51.700 it's the exact opposite. You're not being who you really are. And that isn't a feeling.

00:48:56.860 Some of it is, but that's also biology. So we've decided to take upon educating our children

00:49:06.420 ourselves so that they're not conditioned to this peer pressure and this bull crap of modern 0.96

00:49:11.960 society. And people will say, well, you know, you should, you should really put your kids in

00:49:16.980 the school district so they can be challenged with new ideas. And then you're teaching at home.

00:49:21.840 You know how big of a dumb ass you need to be to actually believe that. And if you've ever believed 1.00

00:49:26.880 that or said that you are a dumb ass, I'm calling you that right now, because there's no way that you 1.00

00:49:32.980 as a father who spends maybe an hour, maybe, maybe an hour in the morning with your children, 1.00

00:49:39.840 and maybe a couple hours in the evening, maybe it's a big, maybe is going to be able to combat

00:49:47.820 the onslaught of information and false ideology in eight to nine hours of school all day, every day.

00:49:56.320 And not to mention the weekend activities with friends, the extracurricular activities like sports

00:50:01.840 and other programs they're part of. You're, you are so misguided. If you think that I'm going to put my

00:50:08.980 kids into, uh, and I use the analogy and people didn't like it, but a pit of venomous snakes just

00:50:15.720 to expose them to the world of snakes. Yeah. That's stupid. It's misguided. And it's actually

00:50:23.480 a dereliction of duty as a father. So yes, sure. They should be around other ideas and concepts and

00:50:32.160 other people and other cultures. School, the school district government schooling doesn't have a

00:50:36.840 monopoly or the, uh, the exclusive licensing rights on teaching your kids new information.

00:50:42.620 I just told you a second ago, I sent my son to a week long, uh, camp put on by maiden warden service.

00:50:49.320 He's going to be introduced to new kids with new ideas and new concepts. One of the first girls that

00:50:53.240 walked up, she was this little, little girl. And she was like dressed in all black. She like goth.

00:50:58.200 That's kind of interesting. Like I didn't expect to see her here, but here she was. So he's going to be

00:51:03.120 introduced to a new concept. There's so many different ways to do it, but the public and the

00:51:10.060 school system and the government is failing our kids. And what's the solution for most people

00:51:15.380 keep sending them, keep shipping them, keep, keep indoctrinating, keep letting other people

00:51:21.160 share this stuff, keep letting their kids who, by the way, my kids' friends are just as misguided 0.99

00:51:26.980 to my kids and kids are dumb by their nature. They're ignorant. I don't say that with any ill will, 1.00

00:51:30.840 but that is a hundred percent true. That's why God saw fit that they have parents. Okay. So the

00:51:36.040 kids are spending time with our morons, just like they are. And I say that with all the love of my 1.00

00:51:40.280 heart for my children, but they are, they're dumb. Okay. And then it's all being reinforced 1.00

00:51:47.060 through the false ideology that they're being indoctrinated with on a daily basis.

00:51:53.780 And also the kids' parents who, who your kids are spending time with, they might believe in all

00:52:01.320 of this stuff too. So you're fighting a losing battle and you're justifying it by saying that,

00:52:09.160 well, I want my kids introduced to new ideas as if that's the only way they should be introduced to

00:52:13.560 their own ideas. Or if they as 10 year olds or 15 year olds are even capable of defending themselves,

00:52:21.340 even capable of rational thought. We know through biology, they're not, the brain isn't fully

00:52:27.620 developed until what is it? Early to mid twenties. You're telling me that your 15 year old is rational

00:52:33.520 enough to be able to defend against this bull crap. Come on. We can do better as fathers and we 1.00

00:52:40.480 have to do better. We're going to lose our children. And I think at the root of this, Ryan is, I don't,

00:52:46.460 I don't think it's at the root of it's, it's turning. It's just like the political question

00:52:51.020 earlier. It's, it's turning a blind eye to things. It's going, you know what? It's too uncomfortable,

00:52:56.160 right? I'm not going to hold my political officials accountable because I don't have the time. And

00:53:03.300 you know what? You bring up some great points, Ryan, but that's too difficult to do. So I'm not

00:53:08.080 going to do, make any adjustments that I'm going to just, and just like everything else in our lives,

00:53:12.000 we justify our decisions. So we feel good about them. Right. And, and, and the example of,

00:53:18.300 you know, this is good from our kids is, is let's be honest, could just be a BS excuse.

00:53:23.500 One of many that we bring to the table to justify all the actions that we take or the lack of actions

00:53:29.240 we take on a regular basis. Yeah. Awesome. Yeah. Great. Passive life. Right. You know,

00:53:35.160 there's one other argument that I hear a lot and I know we're getting a little off tangent based on the

00:53:38.760 subject, but it all ties in together is that whenever I talk about this concept of educating

00:53:43.540 your kids at home, which is a great resource for those of you who are interested or even remotely

00:53:48.540 interested in learning more, go listen to my podcast with Brian Ray, Dr. Brian Ray. Uh, and

00:53:53.300 you can learn more about this, but I actually think this would combat a lot of this, uh, rapid onset

00:53:58.640 gender dysphoria for children, because that ties into the question we're asking. But what I'll hear some

00:54:03.040 people say is they'll be like, well, you know, some kids don't have the luxury of having a father and some

00:54:08.040 kids. It's I'm not talking about some kids. I'm talking about your kids. I'm talking about my

00:54:14.580 children. I haven't, I don't have a responsibility for some kids. I responsibility for my kids. What

00:54:19.540 kind of argument is that? Well, you shouldn't homeschool your kids because some kids don't

00:54:23.820 have a dad. I don't, I don't have anything to do with that. I got to raise my kids. God put me with

00:54:30.200 my children. God put you with your children. And also let's not, let's not forget that we also have

00:54:40.060 an obligation to go into our last question to serve kids who don't have the same luxuries that

00:54:44.660 our children do by having engaged fathers, but don't use that as an excuse. Well, some kids don't

00:54:50.940 have that. Well, it's not applicable to everybody. What does that have to do with my kids?

00:54:55.440 Yes. What does that have to do? The fact that somebody went through, you know, a child went

00:55:01.560 through a situation where his mother and father divorced. So you're going to raise your kids in,

00:55:08.160 in, with an inferior way of raising them because somebody doesn't have that same. Come on.

00:55:14.360 What's that? Be smart, be intelligent. Like that's it. Be smart and be intelligent. You know what I'm

00:55:21.940 saying? Yes, we do have an obligation to serve the kids who don't. We've been talking about that

00:55:28.220 for six years, Kip. Haven't we? I mean, we talked about earlier service to community. We just talked

00:55:33.020 about it five minutes ago. So of course we have an obligation to serve those kids, but I ain't going

00:55:38.960 to give my kids an inferior introduction to life just because other kids are born in different

00:55:44.440 circumstances that are truly unfortunate. I'm saddened by I'm going to do what I can to do right by my

00:55:49.800 kids and also work to serve my community. The two are not mutually exclusive.

00:55:56.480 Fired up today, Kip. You're getting me fired up, man. These are some great questions.

00:56:00.400 They are good questions. All right. Anthony Hoxley, your opinion on leading entry-level workers.

00:56:07.340 I feel a lot of the leadership books and discussions from a management standpoint focus on the corporate

00:56:12.080 setting, but how do we motivate people that don't have much drive in life, that begin with,

00:56:19.480 and some that are just making $10 an hour for the rest of their lives. So kind of that entry-level

00:56:25.340 worker, not very ambitious. How do we help them? So I'm going to answer that question, but first,

00:56:33.680 I got to read a text that I just got because I don't get a lot of texts from my wife.

00:56:39.560 It was no, totally from my wife and my phone just sits there and I can usually ignore everything,

00:56:45.520 but you know, my wife doesn't call me or text me a whole lot during the day. Cause she knows I'm 0.74

00:56:48.780 working. I already know what this is where this is going. This is funny. And she wrote there's

00:56:53.720 subway in the fridge for you figured you could eat some meat. And I think she can hear me up here

00:57:02.780 upstairs, like getting fired up and she's like, all right. Entry level. Uh, yeah, there's the

00:57:14.220 mentality. Well, there's the strategy and there's the mentality, right? This is the mentality. What

00:57:20.500 an amazing opportunity do you have to serve people? Cause what is the normal mentality?

00:57:27.640 Oh damn. I got this new kid and he's being such a dink and I don't want to train him. And this is 1.00

00:57:35.300 stupid. That's the normal mentality. Switch it, switch it. The mentality is what an incredible 1.00

00:57:43.380 opportunity to serve. You know where I also see this mentality with fathers of daughters who are

00:57:48.920 dating boys and those who are serious about maybe committing with the particular young man. 1.00

00:57:55.020 Oh, I got this kid that my daughter's dating and he's, you know, 20 years old and he's such a moron. 1.00

00:58:02.480 He's such an idiot. And I don't hate this. Yeah. Well, she's dating probably somebody just like you 1.00

00:58:08.540 were when you were 20 and her dad, your wife's dad was saying the same thing about you. So what's the

00:58:14.940 mentality? Stop, knock that off. Please stop. Instead, the mentality is, Hey, this kid might actually

00:58:22.620 become my son. I better, I better make sure I help this kid out. Yeah. Right. Cause there's things my

00:58:31.980 sons have done that I'm like, what an idiot. What, what is he doing? Why is he doing that? 1.00

00:58:37.160 But he's my son. So I'm like, okay, well I gotta, I gotta train him. I gotta help him. I gotta coach

00:58:40.980 him. So you need to do the same thing at work. There's new kids coming up that, you know what?

00:58:47.640 They didn't have a dad in their life. They didn't have anybody who ever showed them discipline.

00:58:53.200 If you're like, well, they don't have any work ethic. Yeah. Because nobody showed them how to

00:58:56.820 work hard. It's actually not in our nature to work hard. Do you know that it's not in our nature to

00:59:01.580 work hard. It's in our nature to be lazy. Why? Because when we were running around with the

00:59:06.860 dinosaurs or the woolly mammoths or whatever, food was scarce. And so were calories.

00:59:12.560 So we had to preserve all of our calories as best we could, because we didn't know when the next meal

00:59:21.060 would be here. And our sole objective was to stay alive. Well, we've solved that problem,

00:59:25.620 right? Food is abundant. Non, not, I should say non-food is abundant. It's everywhere. Okay.

00:59:34.520 Calories are not scarce anymore. So it's in our nature to be lazy. And unless we talk about it,

00:59:42.060 Kip, you and I have talked about it as the natural man, the natural man is lazy. He's weak. 0.94

00:59:46.800 He wants the, like, we would be scavengers if we could. If I found a dead carcass 2,000 years ago 0.51

00:59:52.880 or 10,000 years ago on the ground, I'd be like, sweet, payday. I didn't have to work for this.

00:59:57.680 I just came across this dead animal. This is awesome. I'm in. Okay. So we need to rail against

01:00:04.620 that. But the people that come into the workforce, a lot of them haven't learned this because they

01:00:10.840 didn't have a dad around, they didn't have structure, they didn't have guidance, they

01:00:14.460 didn't have discipline. And so they, they just fell into the path of least resistance, which was lazy.

01:00:20.300 So now you have an opportunity to serve and how much better are they going to be if they embrace

01:00:25.420 this lifestyle? So that's the mentality shift. If you're saying, Hey, this is stupid. I don't want

01:00:31.100 to do this. I don't want to do this. Of course, your strategy is going to be inferior because it's

01:00:36.360 always going to have the tinge of animosity towards these individuals. If on the other

01:00:41.100 hand, you shift to the mindset and say, what a great opportunity to have this kid. He's 20 years

01:00:46.280 old. He didn't have a dad in his life. He's here working. He got this job. He wants to learn. He

01:00:51.580 wants to grow. He doesn't know how to do it. And I get to be the catalyst for growth in his life.

01:00:56.540 Now that will instantaneously, because you care more about him than yourself,

01:01:02.840 that will instantaneously change your strategy. So I don't even feel like I need to get into

01:01:08.600 strategy. You know, all the strategies, you know what they are. You can go buy a leadership book,

01:01:12.620 buy, buy Jocko's book, extreme ownership, buy any leadership book out there. You can find all sorts

01:01:17.720 of things on leadership, change your mindset. The strategy will come along. It's kind of like that

01:01:24.240 phrase about, uh, what is it? Culture is downstream from politics. Strategy is downstream from mindset.

01:01:31.020 Yeah. Once you change the mindset, the strategy changes. Keep going. I got to close my window

01:01:35.080 because speaking to my wife, she's out there mowing the lawn right now. So just where she should be 1.00

01:01:40.500 in the kitchen and mowing the lawn. And mowing the lawn. Next she's chopping wood. 0.90

01:01:46.580 No, I was just going to say mindset to add definition to mindset and strategy will come.

01:01:52.940 Um, I, I would add that it's commitment to the desired outcome. If the commitment is right

01:02:00.160 and it's pure, you'll figure it out. Right. And it's, it's what the conversation we have with our

01:02:05.660 team leads and iron council. If they're a battle team leader for the right reason, you'll find out

01:02:12.400 the tactics. You'll figure out a way, but if the desire, uh, if the true desire of why you're there

01:02:19.340 is not accurate or it's not present, that's a problem because strategy may strategy is not going

01:02:26.160 to work. Even if you have the right strategy. Agreed. What else? Let's take a couple more,

01:02:33.540 yep. All right. Uh, Darren Bertram, what is the number one thing that you guys see as an indicator

01:02:40.560 of guys being successful within the iron council by success? I mean, developing a solid battle plan,

01:02:47.140 staying active in icy channels and seeing real self-growth. Well, this is very, very easy.

01:02:54.600 Yeah. Well, I was just going to say for all those listening that aren't in the iron council,

01:02:59.300 I'm sure everything that Ryan's about to say is still applicable to you.

01:03:04.620 Yes. It's applicable well beyond the iron council. Here it is. Right. It's very profound.

01:03:10.600 You've never heard this before. I'm assuming this is going to be a long answer. Yeah.

01:03:15.380 You're only going to hear it on the order of man podcast. And therefore you need to be subscribed.

01:03:20.760 You need to leave a rating and review, uh, and you have to be part of this. Otherwise I'm not sure

01:03:25.880 you're going to hear this advice anywhere else. There you go. Drum roll. Do the work period.

01:03:39.640 That's it guys. Let me talk about in the context of the iron council,

01:03:44.700 kept you and me and Gatch go and Reese and drew Kachurik and Bubba downs. And so many men that I

01:03:52.000 failed to just list right there have done an incredible, incredible job putting together

01:04:00.600 the framework and the foundation for success. I talk about it in the context of network and

01:04:07.160 framework, two things. Every man needs to win framework and network. That's it. That's all

01:04:13.700 you need to win in life. You need a network of individuals around you who are going to support

01:04:17.980 edify, uplift, and even call you out on your bull crap. And you need the framework, the tools, 0.94

01:04:23.060 the resources, the conversations, the guidance, the direction, the accountability, the systems

01:04:27.220 and the processes to win. That's the only two things you need to win in life. We have them both

01:04:31.740 in the iron council, not exclusively. You can find them under other places, but they are available

01:04:35.780 to iron council. But just because you have a framework and a network doesn't mean that you're

01:04:39.640 automatically going to win. That's the prerequisite. You need to apply it. And that's what so many

01:04:45.460 men fail to do, not only in life, but also in the iron council. They think because they're going to

01:04:49.400 pay a few bucks a month, then all of a sudden, Hey, you know, I'm a member of the iron council.

01:04:53.240 Like I'm going to win. That's such a, such a ludicrous thought. It's asinine. You're not going 0.81

01:04:58.700 to win. You know what? And I told you that is this, I'm in the foundry the other day. I said,

01:05:02.980 look, if you think that's what it takes to win, just email me. I'll refund your money and you can go

01:05:08.980 take your wife on a date this month. Cause that would be better spent than coming in here and 0.99

01:05:12.860 thinking that just because you have access to the network and the framework, you're going to win.

01:05:16.700 Yeah. The guys that thrive, they don't reinvent the wheel, your wheel, your method, your strategy

01:05:24.220 of the wheel got you to where you are today. If you think you're fine, you probably wouldn't even

01:05:28.380 join the iron council, but you join the iron council for a reason is because you aren't

01:05:32.920 completely satisfied with where you are today. So what should you do? Stop doing it your way.

01:05:37.420 Even if it's for 30 days, or I would say 90, cause we operate in 90 day segments. Stop doing it your

01:05:43.400 way for 90 days and do it our way for 90 days. And then you can evaluate. Yeah. Just evaluate. Hey,

01:05:50.720 yeah, it didn't work. Cool. Let me know. I'll, I'll glad you, I'll gladly say cancel your membership

01:05:56.060 and you can wash your hands and I'll send you on your way. And I'll still respond to your messages

01:06:03.200 and like your posts and like, we'll still be buddies or whatever, but like, this isn't going

01:06:07.240 to work, but just let me know. But if our way works, then make it your way, make it your new way,

01:06:14.440 make that the way that you operate in life. So how do you make the most out of, by the way,

01:06:19.280 I'm using the term iron council, but let's just say life. How do you make the most of life?

01:06:24.980 Networks, frameworks, networks, frameworks, put it into practice, see how it works and evaluate

01:06:30.320 whether or not it does. The people who are successful, they're leaving clues all over

01:06:33.840 the place. Do what he does. You want to build a successful podcast. Do what I do. Do what Joe

01:06:38.260 Rogan does. Do what I do. You want to get in shape? Go visit Josiah Novak. Go see Matt Reynolds. Go see

01:06:46.260 like any of these fitness guys, like gunner people, like go see all these guys that they'll show you.

01:06:51.300 It's all there. It's all laid out. There's nothing new, but you have to do it. You can't just

01:06:56.220 open the book and look at the words and not apply. You have to open the book, look at the words,

01:07:00.680 learn, and then apply. That's how it works. So yeah, do the work.

01:07:04.720 And for a period of time, right? I think some guys are willing to do the work, Ryan, right? They're

01:07:10.460 like, oh, I'm on board. You know, I'm hyped up. I'm motivated. I joined the iron council. Awesome.

01:07:15.720 And they'll do the work for a little while and then they'll do what they've always done and they'll give

01:07:20.540 up because it starts getting hard and they don't want to do it anymore. Or they start

01:07:25.180 questioning themselves. And that's really where I think most guys check out. And they think that

01:07:30.820 doing the work on some new thing is going to somehow like they're going to latch onto it.

01:07:35.740 You know what I mean? In a different way than they have in the past. And the reality of it is,

01:07:39.420 is most of us give up way too early and we bail and find excuses for not leveling up and doing what's

01:07:48.340 necessary. And, and when we do that, by the way, those are the areas where we can learn the most

01:07:53.800 and we rob ourselves of growth and learning because we're unwilling to do the difficult

01:08:00.420 things when those times come. Agreed. Agreed. You know, I've been thinking about this over the past

01:08:06.960 little bit too. And, you know, you said some guys aren't, you know, necessarily afraid,

01:08:13.440 like everybody's willing to do the work and they're not afraid. They're, they're not afraid of

01:08:18.480 doing the work. But I would also say that it's not that when things are hard, that people bail,

01:08:25.480 like that's certainly a place that they bail. Cause you said, Oh, when it's hard, they bail.

01:08:28.780 Sure. When it gets difficult, but in my own personal life, like I've bailed on things that

01:08:35.240 were working that weren't even hard. It's, it's, it's not that it's just because it's hard. It's,

01:08:43.140 I don't know what it is. I don't know if it's Pat, like, I can't explain this.

01:08:46.000 Is it not seeing results quick enough? Maybe that's it. Maybe it's, maybe it's a bit of

01:08:50.720 impatience. Yeah. Um, maybe it's just falling into default patterns just because our brain has

01:08:57.880 already made those synapses and it's, it's just more comfortable. It's the path of least resistance,

01:09:02.740 but I have personally abandoned things that are working, but it's not because they were hard.

01:09:08.680 I just, either I forgot about them or I was impatient, like you said, or the path of least resistance.

01:09:14.240 Doubt maybe. Yeah, maybe. Yeah. Maybe it's a little bit of self doubt, but I guess the underlying

01:09:20.980 point that I'm trying to make is that we have to be very vigilant in maintaining what we should be

01:09:27.940 doing, whether it's hard or not. Like you have to be vigilant because if you're not vigilant towards

01:09:34.160 this stuff, like your relationship, I talk about it in the context of relation, like you have to be

01:09:38.420 vigilant with your relationships. You know, you have to be vigilant about talking with your wife every

01:09:44.780 night about going on a date night, at least weekly. You have to be vigilant about exercising and

01:09:52.340 training and eating right because there's so many temptations. And that's an element of a weakness

01:09:57.420 temptations to do something else. Uh, Steven, Steven Pressfield would call it in, uh, the war of art

01:10:05.660 would call it the resistance. Yeah. There's a resistance in so many different forms and we have

01:10:10.940 to be vigilant about it. Otherwise we'll fall into default patterns that don't serve us well.

01:10:18.260 Justin Meyer, mayor. Last one. Last one. When you find yourself going against everything you preach,

01:10:24.900 everything you stand for. So when you F up, what's your tactics for continuing on and making amends

01:10:32.520 with actions taken specifically how to deal with the feelings of failure? Yes. Good question. Good

01:10:40.220 question. Thank you. I mean, well, it's just, but you know, you also read it very well. Yeah. Thank you.

01:10:48.020 Um, I am pretty good at compartmentalizing my actions.

01:10:57.800 So from a positive perspective this morning, I got up early and I went into the gym, which is my garage

01:11:03.520 and I trained my butt off for about an hour. I don't think I'm a winner because I did that.

01:11:11.140 I think it just means I went and trained that I got up out of bed and I wasn't lazy and I overcame the

01:11:15.700 natural man. And I went to the gym and I trained when I go to the, when I go to jujitsu tonight,

01:11:20.080 I'm not going to consider myself an incredible human being because I went to class tonight

01:11:25.960 because I'm not. And that's not what defines you as an incredible human being. It just means you,

01:11:30.760 it just means you went to class it's compartmentalized, but also the converse is true

01:11:36.500 is that when I fail or I mess up, like I, I got after my, uh, my, my second son and I had a little

01:11:45.620 argument over the weekend and I, I acted inappropriately and, but I don't consider myself

01:11:53.620 a horrible father. I see what you're saying. I don't attach it to that. I just said, I messed up.

01:11:59.020 Like I just failed and I could be a horrible father if I don't correct it. So I compartmentalized

01:12:05.620 it. Hey, I screwed up. And so he was, it was about the time he went to bed. So we went to bed

01:12:10.660 and I went to bed and he was a little groggy and I woke, I just shook his shoulder. I'm like, Hey,

01:12:16.140 and he's like, yeah. And I said, I wanted to talk with you about something.

01:12:19.900 And so I apologized to him and I explained the situation and we took about three minutes going

01:12:24.300 through it. And I put a cap on it. Like I didn't allow that experience to spill over into other

01:12:32.680 aspects of my life. And I didn't let it define me as who I was both positive and negative. So

01:12:38.860 the reason I bring this up is because when you're feeling like a failure, you're not a failure unless

01:12:45.700 you let that problem persist and continue. And then you, then I would say, yes, you are a failure,

01:12:50.460 failure. But the fact that you failed doesn't make you a failure. It just means you failed and 0.96

01:12:58.340 compartmentalized it. And also the fact that you did something good today, doesn't make you a winner

01:13:03.880 because it takes way more than one victory to make you a winner. So we got to be very,

01:13:10.380 very careful of allowing the positives and negatives to define us and instead compartmentalize it.

01:13:15.980 Going to the gym this morning didn't mean that I'm amazing. It just means I made a good decision

01:13:22.880 to go to the gym this morning and to work out. And you know what? I've evaluated. I actually feel

01:13:28.100 pretty good today. I got done a lot this morning. My son and I went and ran some errands. I went to the

01:13:35.400 gym. We're doing this pot. Like I feel pretty productive today. Why? Because I started my day off

01:13:41.280 with productivity. Doesn't mean that tomorrow is guaranteed to go that way. I got to make another

01:13:46.320 good decision tomorrow. And that compartmentalization has really helped me not. I think I made this post

01:13:54.600 a year or so ago and I said, you know, you're not as bad as you think you are, but you're also not as

01:14:00.940 good as you think you are. So just keep making good decisions, avoid bad decisions and compound those

01:14:07.880 over and over again. And, and that's what we had to be careful of is attaching ourselves to, to our

01:14:13.020 actions and establishing or, or, or framing it as a, a indictment of, of your character and who you are

01:14:21.080 overall. Yeah. I think listening to, you know, listening to you and I'm kind of evaluating like, what do I

01:14:29.680 do in these circumstances? One of the things that comes to mind that at least the takeaway for me is

01:14:34.700 watching myself talk. I think that it kind of starts there, right? Like if I make a, if I make a mistake

01:14:42.560 or I'm out of integrity, what's the internal dialogue that I'm having? And, and mine is, you know,

01:14:50.040 to, mine's more in that path of Dustin's where I'm not, um, you know, where I'm adding definition of

01:14:57.760 who I am as an individual based upon my internal thought, right? My thought is like,

01:15:01.840 you're a freaking idiot, right? It you fool or, you know what I mean? It's very broad statements of 1.00

01:15:08.760 self, not that was made a mistake. That was dumb. Got to fix it. Move on. Right. I'm adding, 0.99

01:15:16.360 I'm adding definition to me as an individual when I make mistakes and that's the dialogue I'm having

01:15:23.180 with myself. So at least for me, your response to this question, what I'm, what I'm taking away from

01:15:28.320 this is I got to get super present to even the self-talk that I'm having in the moment and

01:15:33.580 correcting the self-talk. That's probably step number one. I'm assuming it was like, make a mistake,

01:15:38.580 self-talk. What am I saying? No, no, that's not true. I am not a piece of shit. That was a dumb

01:15:43.900 decision. What can I do to correct? Because the man that, you know, and we've, we've used this 0.99

01:15:50.620 analogy. I don't know what time, what type of term we've used, but like the superior kit,

01:15:55.500 right? Like super kip or whoever that is in my mind, how would he address that? And he would say,

01:16:02.400 hey, made a mistake. Correct. Restore my integrity. Correct the situation. Move on. That's not who I am.

01:16:09.760 Right. I define that. And I, and I help, and my actions help define that, right. As part of my

01:16:15.040 process. But if I'm beating myself down with, oh, this is who I am constantly with, with bad self-talk,

01:16:22.080 I think I'm going to struggle progressing in that, in that area.

01:16:26.640 Yeah. A hundred percent. I mean, your actions, your actions really define who you are. That's it.

01:16:31.220 You know, there's not, not what you think about yourself, not, not how you behave like, or excuse

01:16:35.160 me, it is how you behave. It's not what you think about yourself, but it's your actions

01:16:38.600 that define yourself. And we've also talked about this kit is if you're going to lie about yourself

01:16:44.520 and we are all constantly doing that. Like if you're telling yourself what you said earlier,

01:16:49.320 I'm a piece of shit. Well, no, you're not. You've made some bad choices and you've done some things 1.00

01:16:54.460 that maybe other people would interpret that you are, but you're really not. That's a lie. It's not,

01:17:01.600 it's not totally accurate. So if you're going to lie about yourself, you might as well say you're

01:17:06.720 not a piece of shit. And that's also a lie because sometimes you are. Right. So, so I'm going to say, 1.00

01:17:12.840 Hey, you know what? Me, this is the self-taught me. I'm pretty awesome. Like I'm disciplined.

01:17:20.440 I'm committed. I'm successful. I'm thoughtful. I care about things. And if I'm going to lie about

01:17:27.700 myself, I might as well tell that story. And then here's what you do. When you aren't in alignment

01:17:33.400 with that thought or that narrative of yourself, you say, Hey, this is what, this isn't what I do.

01:17:38.180 This is not me. I don't go back on my word. I don't let people down because that's not, I'm

01:17:43.740 awesome. So like, I don't do this. And so you realign your actions with your belief. And then

01:17:49.240 when you do things well, you're like, yeah, see, I am awesome. Do it. And you keep going. You're like,

01:17:55.720 yeah, I went to the gym this morning and yeah, see, I knew I was good. So if you're going to lie

01:18:01.060 about yourself, you might as well make it something that's going to serve you. And all of us are lying

01:18:04.260 because none of us are awesome all the time or complete assholes all the time. Like 0.98

01:18:08.040 all of us are on the spectrum and we're sliding back and forth at any given time. So I'd rather

01:18:12.300 say I'm awesome. And then the things that I do are awesome. Reaffirm my belief. And the things I

01:18:16.840 don't, I'm like, Oh, that's not what awesome Ryan would do for forget that. Apologize, make amends

01:18:23.060 and get back on the track of where I see myself. Yeah. I like it. All right. Let's wind things down

01:18:29.640 for today. Good question. Great questions today. Actually really good questions. I know we didn't go

01:18:33.980 through the ostrich sized duck or whatever question, but like the questions you picked

01:18:39.220 out were, were, were right on point. So, yeah. If you guys haven't figured this out yet, if you

01:18:44.960 have stupid questions, we're probably not going to read them. Well, we did kind of, we alluded to it. 0.99

01:18:54.620 Yeah. Which, which just perpetuated the bad behavior. Like, yeah, everybody's going to be like,

01:18:58.840 ostriches. No. Would you rather a horse sized duck or an ostrich sized goose, uh, or a rhinoceros

01:19:06.060 sized, uh, Eagle or yeah. Okay. Well, we're making this worse. It's not funny anymore.

01:19:15.960 All right. So a couple of things came up today. Yeah. A couple of things came up today. So for

01:19:21.220 reference purposes, if you guys are interested in learning more about the iron council, which we've

01:19:26.740 talked about, you can learn more by going to order of man.com slash iron council. And as always,

01:19:34.120 uh, we just kicked off. Um, well not kicked off where I actually, what, well, we're roughly like

01:19:41.760 a week or so into our, our next quarter or actually our new another month into our quarter. Um, you know,

01:19:49.340 join us, get on the court, you know, it's solidify that vision and purpose and get that framework that

01:19:55.220 Ryan's talking about. Get battle ready. And you can learn more about battle ready by going to

01:20:00.080 order of man.com slash battle ready, or you can download the mobile battle planning app at 12

01:20:06.660 week battle planner.com. That's the number one, two week battle planner.com. And of course,

01:20:13.600 connect with Mickler online at Ryan Mickler everywhere.

01:20:18.060 Well, we'll wind things down. Sounds like people are calling you. So we'll let those,

01:20:22.600 uh, I'm like, that's a weird ringer too. I'm like, that's a weird, I don't even know where

01:20:26.860 that sounds happening. Sorry. All right, guys. Appreciate you. Great questions today. Let's

01:20:31.560 keep up the fight. Um, like I said earlier, you know, we're enlisting an army of men and,

01:20:36.040 and some people shy away from that verbiage a little bit, but it really is, you know, life is a battle,

01:20:40.480 you know, you challenge with our own selves as natural men. We challenge with ideologies that

01:20:45.260 we're dealt with. We challenge with things that, that we don't see are good and that are

01:20:49.320 at odds with our sovereignty and, and uplifting and edifying other people. So this is an army.

01:20:54.420 This is, this is a collection of men who want to go out and serve and do so righteously. So,

01:20:59.680 uh, please share this. Like Kip said, uh, we'll be back on Friday until then guys go out there,

01:21:04.560 take action and become the man you are meant to be. Thank you for listening to the order of man podcast.

01:21:09.920 You're ready to take charge of your life and be more of the man you were meant to be.

01:21:13.720 We invite you to join the order at quarter of man.com.

Order of Man - August 11, 2021

Strategy is Downstream From Mindset, How Pastors and Therapists are Failing Men, and Holding Elected Officials Accountable ｜ ASK ME ANYTHING

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